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shiroganeryo · 4 years ago

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Komui's Discussion Room content (DGM 27)

Volume 27 has been released recently here in Brazil and I realized the remaining of Komui’s Discussion Room were nowhere to be found in English, but after reading all of it, I thought there are very interesting things hence why I wanted to share!

Please bear in mind this is not a direct translation, but a summary.

I have a lot of criticism when it comes to Viz Media’s release (official English), but I’m quite content with the work Panini, the distributor of D.Gray-Man in Brazil, has done so far with the official Portuguese release. If there are any mistakes, please bear in mind I translated the information directly from their version.

There are 11 questions covered in this summary. For the others, please check Jeidafei’s translations on them (totally recommend it!): Part 1 | Part 2 | Author's note & Thanks Corner | Extra

Without further ado, let’s get into it! This got very long.

≫ Kanda hasn’t reached the “critical point” in synchronization yet (+ why Allen isn’t a General)

In the question “How did Kanda hide having gone past the critical point”, Tiedoll answers that he actually has the potential it takes to do it but hasn’t done it yet. Still on the same question, they answer a related question about Allen’s critical point: “If Allen has reached the critical point, why wasn’t he appointed to become a general during the Order’s reconstruction?”

Allen replies that it was impossible at that time since Central was keeping watch over him. Tiedoll adds that he’s also too young and the only one able to operate the Ark, the latter making Central even more suspicious of him. General Cross’s reputation also seems to have played a part in this, having the higher-ups deem Allen as someone they couldn’t trust enough.

Ryo’s note: Allen thanks Tiedoll for putting his thoughts about Cross into words and Cross simply laughs it off. XD

≫ Sleeping positions

They get asked about their sleeping positions. Tiedoll describes how Kanda sleeps with detail (when younger, in fetal position; nowadays, he sleeps lying on his side, preferentially the right side).

Allen comments that Johnny sleeps sprawled on the floor or the desk and that everyone in the Science Division sleeps like this; when he first saw it, he got concerned thinking something tragic had happened. Johnny says it’s comfortable to sleep like this, but Allen isn’t so sure.

Cross comments on how Allen sleeps; he mentions he likes to sleep hugging something and when he can’t do it, he complains until falling asleep. Allen gets flustered and claims that he got used to sleeping with Tim because he used to be big, but is over it nowadays. Johnny remembers Link used to tell him not to sleep with the piggy-bank, to which Allen replies that it was “not a sleeping position, but survival instincts”.

Kanda comments on how he brought a ton of food to the infirmary one time and says it was annoying to listen to him eating nonstop. Allen replies with sarcasm (“sorry for needing to eat to recover my energies”).

Cross sleeps naked, with his arms open (according to Allen).

Tiedoll sleeps on his stomach, blanket over his face.

Ryo’s note: The time Kanda is referring to is in Chapter 135 (135th Night: Repose, Partly Cloudly).

≫ The symbol on the CROWs' foreheads

Cross replies that it’s probably the compulsory mark of the procedure that transforms regular people in CROWs. Tiedoll says that Cross knows a lot, as expected of someone who’s able to use magic –he shrugs off the compliment – and Kanda asks when and how exactly someone like him learned it. He angrily says he didn’t learn it anywhere and ends the question at Allen’s remark that he always gets angry when people ask.

Ryo’s note: This is interesting. Could imply he was the one to teach magic to Nea (and the Earl himself?), and not the other way around. But, it’s also possible he just didn’t want to answer.

≫ “What is something you find impressive on the other, but have never admitted?”

Johnny decides to start with Kanda and Allen, and the two exchange insults for several lines.

Johnny then passes the baton to the Generals, who do the exact same as their apprentices.

Johnny ends the question with a thank you and sweating nervously.

Ryo’s note: By “insults”, I mean things like Kanda calling Allen a crybaby, and Allen saying Kanda’s dumb. Tiedoll calls Cross a delinquent; Cross calls him “doting dad”. The list goes on…

≫ The time Kanda spent with General Tiedoll right after becoming his apprentice (+ Allen’s time with Cross)

They are asked what was the most outstanding episode from such a time, and Kanda absentmindedly says he forgot. Tiedoll seems disappointed, stating they had made so many marvelous memories together, to which Kanda replies “please stop talking in this weird way”.

Allen asks how the travels were, and Tiedoll says the most important at that time was to take care of mending Kanda’s heart. They spent much time talking about amenities, having contact with plants and animals and admiring beautiful landscapes. Tiedoll believes that getting in touch with beautiful things can help to connect with the world, despite carrying the burden of being a Second; he wanted Kanda to feel like regular people feel about the world.

Johnny and Allen are touched, and the latter comments how jealous he is. Cross then reminds Allen of how many bedsheets he had to wash because of him, making him flustered. He then goes on to remind how not only he did that but also had to feed him – Tiedoll comments on how it seems impossible to imagine Cross doing all that – and even help him change many times.

Allen’s embarrassment reaches the maximum and he threatens to beat Cross if he keeps talking about that.

≫ Stories of when Kanda and Lenalee were little

Kanda tries to shrug the question off, but Johnny insists they answer. Tiedoll says that the two of them were really cute, just like two lilies that bloomed inside the gray scenery of the Order; Kanda tells him to stop.

Allen is uninterested in Kanda, but wants to hear about Lenalee. Cross asks him if he likes her, and says he thought he had a girlfriend in the Asian Branch already. Allen denies it and says both LouFa and Lenalee are his friends; Cross laughs, saying he doesn’t judge, and Allen nearly snaps in irritation (again).

Johnny moves on to answer the question; Kanda is against it, but Tiedoll holds him in place. Johnny tells that Jiji told him that at first, Kanda would be asked if Lenalee could train with him, but he would shrug her off saying he didn’t want to train with a girl, which would make her cry.

Every time Kanda made Lenalee cry, she would run off to Reever. In reality, Johnny thinks she wanted to talk to Komui instead, but she thought he was busy and didn’t want to bother him, resulting in her crying at Reever’s desk. Tiedoll and Allen are weeping at it (they thought it’s cute).

While Reever comforted Lenalee, Marie would appear bringing Kanda along, who had no idea how to apologize, while Lenalee would bashfully hide inside Reever’s lab coat. This kept happening until he eventually accepted to train with her.

Johnny starts telling another story involving Kanda’s meditation and Lenalee coming back tired from a mission, but Kanda interrupts him. Allen says it’s being fun and tells him not to bother.

Kanda tells him to shut up, calling him a bedwetter. Allen snaps (again).

Ryo’s note: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

≫ “Who amongst the Noah would Allen best go along with? Hypothetically speaking.”

Allen and Kanda are worn out from fighting (see the previous question); Johnny is giving them calming tea. Tiedoll says that it seems Allen and Tyki Mikk looked friendly when talking to each other, and Allen interjects saying they’re not friends and that Tyki doesn’t respect the notion of personal space.

He then goes on to say he doesn’t imagine himself being friends with any Noah because they lack common sense. Cross mentions Road and how she’s always being flirty with him, which makes Allen tell him to stop implying things, while sounding unsure about being friends with her or not.

Johnny asks if Allen is embarrassed and reminds Road kissed him. He denies being embarrassed and says that kissing is just a form of greeting for her (he’s sweating nervously while saying so). He adds that, on top of that, he feels like Road sees someone else when she looks at him.

Cross seems amused.

Ryo’s note: This answer is very interesting. It seems to confirm the theory that Road had some kind of connection with past!Allen. We won’t know for sure until it’s revealed, but it does seem to imply such a thing.

≫ The taste of Innocence + the Crystal Type Innocence + Exorcist supplies + Cross suspiciously knowing about the Bookman clan

A reader asks how did Innocence taste like when liquefied; Kanda says it tastes like nothing, similar to water.

Johnny points out the wounds that formed after their Innocence became Crystal types and if they don’t hurt. Kanda says that at the time they don’t, but such wounds won’t heal even with his healing ability – which he concludes makes sense since it’s from where the blood comes out to form the weapons.

Johnny mentions that the Science Division (Komui, more specifically) made Lenalee pills that will prevent anemia. Still on that subject, Allen remembers people had asked what goes inside the bags the Exorcists carry on their uniforms. Johnny says they carry first-aid kits, disinfectants, anti-hemorrhagic meds, and things of the sort. Miranda and Timothy carry sweets with a high intake of calories, Krory carries Akuma blood sweets and Lavi and Bookman asked for migraine meds.

Tiedoll says they are nothing without the support of the Science Division and thanks them. Allen asks about Lavi and Bookman getting migraines. Cross mentions it’s probably from an occupational disease because storing that much information and memories can wreck your head over time.

Allen comments again that he seems to know a lot about the Bookman Clan, and that it’s very suspicious. Cross magnificently shrugs off the question.

≫ Allen’s cheating

Allen gets asked if he becomes bad at luck games (i.e gambling) in case he doesn’t cheat. He says that a bet on luck always rewards something even if gains are small, but Johnny says he’s really bad at things like rock-paper-scissors. Kanda thinks he was just in denial about admitting he’s unlucky.

When scolded by Kanda, Allen says it was a matter of survival and that he never cheated good people on; just bad people.

Johnny says living like this is dangerous and that he should stop; Allen apologizes and says he needs money, and if anything, he can use his Innocence.

Cross is amused and sounds proud. Tiedoll regrets Cross’s influence on Allen.

≫ About Link

Allen gets asked if he has ever seen Link smile, to which he responds he has tried making him laugh/smile, but never could do it. Johnny says that everyone from Central is very serious, especially Link. Tiedoll thinks that it might be forbidden to smile when their superior is Director Lvellie.

Allen goes on to ramble about how Link complained about everything: when he had food on his face after or during eating, asking him to redo reports because they were illegible despite Reever being able to read, scolding him for not drying his hair after going out of the bath because he could get a cold, and how he was a shame for not folding his uniform properly before putting it away.

Cross asks him, “what was he? Your mother?” and Allen says he didn’t get annoyed at him. He wonders if all moms are like this.

Johnny says people were worried when he was assigned to watch Allen, but in the end, Link went along well with everyone and confirms that Allen liked him as well. He also states that Allen’s reports became a lot easier to read thanks to him.

Ryo’s note: Ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary folks: it’s Link appreciation time! *tips hat* Also Allen wondering about how mothers treat their children was just precious, even if it’s a throwaway comment.

≫ The vibe at the Black Order

In the question “Who runs faster, Komui or Reever?”, Johnny says that he thinks Reever is faster; Allen adds that Komui cheats by using Komurin, though. Kanda gets annoyed and tells them they (at the Science Division) should make Komui behave accordingly to his role. Johnny sniffs and says that they try.

Tiedoll says that it’s actually good that Komui is cheerful because the Order used to be a very different place until he took over the post, and that he (Tiedoll) disliked the gloomy aura it used to have. Allen remembers Lenalee commented about it once and asks if the Order was really this different back then. Tiedoll says that even if it’s been built with a noble purpose, human beings aren’t perfect and a lot of things get distorted over a hundred years. He recommends Allen to ask For about it, as she has existed ever since the Order was founded and protects it to this day.

Allen is sad and comments he wants to visit the Asian Branch again someday. Johnny says he’ll go with Allen, but the latter says he would want to eat Jeryy’s food again before that. Cross sneers and wishes good luck.

They wrap it up at this, and both Kanda and Allen look very happy about being done with the Discussion Corner (as noted by Johnny). Tiedoll bids Cross adieu, and says “rest in peace, Marian” – to which he replies “don’t treat me like a ghost”.

Allen says he knows Cross is an illusion created by his weakness, but that he was happy to see him (in reference to the 222nd Night: Searching for A.W - Hypokrisis). Cross tells him not to exaggerate.

Johnny is content that they could finally keep it to the ideal number of pages – something the Discussion Corner is known to usually have trouble with. Tiedoll says that if they had gone overboard, the next issue’s Discussion Corner would be canceled, and wraps up thanking everyone who has cared about Yu so far and asks that people keep cheering for him.

Johnny thanks the readers for sending their questions. Allen and Kanda are relieved it’s over.

Ryo’s note: And that’s it! Man, this got LONG. Thank you very much for reading until the end. Can’t wait for the next Discussion Room, the way Tiedoll worded it makes it seem like it’ll be on the next volume, 28. I’m excited!

If you're interested in seeing more DGM content from me, feel free to check my masterlist here.

#d.gray-man #d.gray man #komui's discussion corner #komui's lounge #Allen Walker #Johnny Gill #Kanda Yuu #Cross Marian #Froi Tiedoll #DGM #I sure hope I didn't count wrong the number of questions #math isn't my forte at all #as for the palette requests: I'm currently working on them!

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pesewla · 5 years ago

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HJEY if ur still doing reqs and do music stuff (this was inspired by someone else's) can you do like *the* song for each chara and pairing for dgm? i love music

ok since i’m too busy to write rn i’ll do this request

i think about this A LOT, and my taste in music is slightly eclectic but please bear with me

(and comment to give me new suggestions for music too cuz i love those)

characters

allen walker // trapdoor by twenty one pilots

He wakes up early today

Throws on a mask that will alter his face

Nobody knows his real name

But now he just uses one he saw on a grave …

Everyone gather around for a show

Watch as this man disappears as we know

Do me a favor and try to ignore

As you watch him fall through a bleeding trapdoor

kanda yuu // always something by cage the elephant

It’s always something before the late night

Around the corner, there’s always something waiting for you

Can’t hold their hands back, can’t make the sun rise

It’s always something, you know it’s always something

On your way back home again

Good to smear it in

You see a man stuck in the range, stranded with no friends

From the goodness of your heart, you saved him from the flood

A couple miles down the road, he’s covered in his blood

lavi bookman jr. // who are you, really? by mikky ekko

So you feel entitled to a sense of control

And make decisions that you think are your own

You are a stranger here, why have you come?

Why have you come, lift me higher, let me look at the sun

Look at the sun and once I hear them clearly, say

Who, who are you really?

And where are you going?

I have nothing left to prove

‘Cause I have nothing left to lose

lenalee lee // riot rhythm by sleigh bells

Dear heart, don’t stop fighting

Prepare, ride the lightning

It’s like heart-heart-heartbeat

Just like riot rhythm

tyki mikk // the evil has landed by queens of the stone age

A glamour cabaret

The last float on parade

‘Cause their swing got left behind

Every puzzle piece of mind

Handshake in facade

Play the fool or playing God

Just for God’s sake play along

Well, you can have a laugh, hit it

road kamelot // feasting on the flowers by fleetwood mac

Feasting on the flowers so fast and young

It’s a light so bright that I bite my tongue

I do and I don’t, well I do and I don’t, oh yeah

The next dimension, show me in

nea d campbell // not today by twenty one pilots

Oh, don’t you test me, no

Just because I play the piano

Doesn’t mean not

I’m not willing to take you down

I’m sorryI’m, I’m out of my mind, ooh

I’m, I’m not seeing things right

I waste all this time trying to run from you

But I’m, I’m out of my mind

mana d campbell // a sadness runs through him by the hoosiers

He could not break surface tension

He looked in the wrong place for redemption

Don’t look at me with those eyes

I tried to unheave the ties

Turn back the time that drew him

But he couldn’t be saved

A sadness runs through him

alma karma // lotus flower by radiohead

There’s an empty space inside my heart

Where the weeds take root

So now I’ll set you free

I’ll set you free

chaozii han // i’m not even gonna pretend to recommend something for this bitch lol

miranda lotto // be calm by fun

Oh be calm.

Be calm.

I know you feel like you are breaking down.

I know that it gets so hard sometimes,

Be calm.

Take it from me, I’ve been there a thousand times.

You hate your pulse because it thinks you’re still alive

And everything’s wrong

It just gets so hard sometimes

Be calm.

arystar krory // stick to your guns by watsky

When you were knocking me like I’m a laughingstock

and a weakling a freak and creep, I was mocked and ignored

You’re sorry now but talk is cheap, shoulda thought it before

You’re the sorry flock of sheep who made me rot to core

pairings

tykillen // cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant

Cigarette daydream

You were only seventeen

So sweet with a mean streak

Nearly brought me to my knees

You can drive all night

Looking for the answers in the pouring rain

You wanna find peace of mind

Looking for the answer

If we can find a reason, a reason to change

Looking for the answer

If you can find a reason, a reason to stay

Standing in the pouring rain

yuulma // the fall by half-alive

I’d jump off and into your arms

But if I can’t trust the fall

Take my voice, I’m giving it though

I don’t feel safe at all

I can’t trust the fall

It’s like waking up in surgery

I can’t seem to see right past the lights and I’m

So scared to take a knife to my chest

Let you see the heart that’s inside

allena // kid who stays in the picture by hot hot heat

I remember when you used to laugh

Like in the day we used to hide

Like a deer in the headlights

I saw you give up the late nights

We were the sweet and the bitter

The kid who stays in the picture

Could have been you

It should have been you

It could have been you

It should have been you

It could have been you

laven // despicable by grandson

The goodbye is the hardest part

When we find ourselves back at the start

But I’m not so brave, and I’m not so smart, no

I’m doing you a favor, doing you a favor

One day you will understand

Why I pushed you away as I am

And you will find a better man than I am

Trust, I’m doing you a favor, doing you a favor

yullen // where to begin by adam watts

I don’t care, but I do

And I’ll say anything to get out of the way of you

To get out of the way of you

And I don’t know where to begin

To breathe you again, to breathe you again

And I don’t know where to begin

To breathe you again, to need you again

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savagetrickster · 5 years ago

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D.Gray Man | Allen Walker x Reader (angst)

Please proceed to the following parts before reading this

Part 1

Part 2

I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors. I hope this doesn’t seem too weird. Enjoy!

*the picture below does not belong to me but to its rightful owner.

[ Look At Me ]

(Name) was back.

He was so happy when words of her return reached him. No, happy was too vague for the emotions running through him. He couldn’t ask for any better way to start his morning.

It was honestly one of the best things to open his door to. Greeted by Lavi outside his room, the utter of her name from Lavi’s grinning mouth gave his heart a hopeful tug.

And when the Bookman Jr. confirmed what he had hoped, a thrill of excitement and yearning anticipation lifted him right out of his morning grogginess.

Her presence here was uncommon since she was always out and about for her master.

The only times he got to see her was every few months whenever she dropped by - but only if he was not assigned any missions - or when he was tasked to meet her for missions together - but those only happened thrice so far.

The last time it happened was about three months ago with Lenalee but their reunion felt too short.

She was finally home, Allen couldn’t quite stop himself from sighing in relief.

While they kept in contact, their conversations through their golems were rare occurrences and always curt. She never failed to apologize for cutting them short; once explaining that it was risky to be distracted for too long while she was out there alone.

And this was the reason for the constant nagging uneasiness weighing on the back of his mind.

The silence between their previous conversation and the next typically stretched on for months.

A time long enough for his worries to bring forth the worst scenarios his imaginative mind could think up of - Was she okay? Was she still...alive?

A thoughtful glint filled Allen’s eyes as he tore his attention away from Lavi beside him as the redhead ranted on about...he wasn’t sure anymore.

Allen turned his head, leaving the energetic chatter from Lavi behind him.

His lips stretched with a small smile as his soft gaze flitted to a certain door a floor below.

He felt his heart quicken with a strong ache.

Thankful that he had no missions to take this rare opportunity away from him.

Her eyes closed to the warmth around her. Being slightly shorter, the hug she shared with Lenalee was comfortable and snug.

“I’m so glad you’re safe, (Name)-chan, welcome home.” She felt the body embracing her body rumble against her.

A smile was evident in the kind voice.

No matter what she felt for Allen, she could never harbor anything negative toward the Chinese girl.

Lenalee was always so sweet and endearing. Always welcoming her back with a hug like this.

“Thank you, Lena-chan.” The smile she could hear in Lenalee’s voice was contagious enough to catch on.

The bustle of the cafeteria distracted from her senses by Lenalee’s warm welcome rushed back to her at once as they pulled away.

But thoughts of the bet she made with the scientists earlier lingered.

Knowing Lenalee was a blessing on its own. So if she won the bet, she would definitely be happy for Lenalee. This girl was good for Allen.

She just had to swallow the bitter truth and move on.

...And probably give that guy a chance, an eager wave from a finder she knew well caught her eyes - he was a bit more forward about his feelings than she’d like but she had to move on eventually...right?

That’s right. Yes, she will do that.

“Heya (Name)-chan!”

A surprised yelp escaped her as she jolted to a sudden weight on her left shoulder that was accompanied by the playful voice.

Her head snapped to her right and she found herself greeted by a big grin sitting on Lavi’s face, the weight on her shoulder lifted as soon as he retracted his hand.

“Lavi! And...” Her eyes shifted to another approaching figure behind him.

A nervous gulp went down her throat before she could even process the wavering emotion.

“You’re back, (Name)!”

The bright smile and the way his eyes danced with exhilaration made her freeze.

The overwhelming expression of happiness on his face...it was too much.

She found the clingy thought of the bet growing provokingly stronger as she watched Allen slow to a stop before her.

Please...

What was with the look on his face? Did her return matter that much to him?

Stop...don’t make this harder.

“H-Hi, Allen.” Her lips strained with a forced smile. “It’s good to see you too.”

The movement of his arms reaching out to her made her breath hitch.

No, don’t-

“Oh right, I suddenly remembered that I have to get a new uniform from Johnny.” (Name) was surprised by the smooth lie that left her mouth despite her turmoil. “Sorry guys, I’ll see you around.”

So random but she was too flustered to dwell on it.

She wasn’t too sure whether Allen noticed her strange reaction, but she thought she saw his smiling face dampened right as she turned away.

Escalating from her first few hesitant starting steps toward the cafeteria exit, she broke into a sprint.

I need time.

Her teeth gritted.

Just a little while…

Forgive me, Allen.

Even with a table of food before him, Allen could not shake off the heavy uneasiness ever since (Name) took off so abruptly.

Was he too...forward trying to initiate a hug from her? - this question nagged at him.

Lenalee and Lavi, done with their meals, didn't stay long with him to ponder about (Name)'s strange reaction.

Lenalee went off to the science department while Lavi was pulled away by Bookman, the old man grumbling about his slacking apprentice as he tugged the redhead away by his ear.

Plates after plates stacked atop of each other. Jerry's cooking was fantastic as usual but somehow Allen couldn't quite enjoy them today.

The incident with (Name) seemed to have taken his tastebuds' ability to process his food properly.

The food he ordered were swept clean before he could register. His actions were purely mechanical so it surprised him when he was met with nothing but stacked plates before him.

A quick deposit of the plates at the disposal station, Allen made his exit from the cafeteria.

He ran a hand through his snow white hair as a sigh fell from his lips.

The light in his eyes was quiet and dim, reflecting the dejection sinking him. He just felt...lost.

The more he thought about her reaction, the more confused he felt.

The recurring memory of earlier made it clear that she was flinching away from him….but why?

Delved in deep thoughts, his feet moved, one step after another. The absentmindedness between each step eventually brought him to a sharp corner leading to the science department.

The frown on his face followed him as he tugged his head to the sound of approaching footsteps from behind the sharp bent of the wall.

Hmm?

The air in his lungs puffed out, knocked right out of him from a sudden impact against his chest, even before he could see who had emerged from the corner.

His eyes flew wide when he looked down and realized what or rather who bumped into him.

A folded piece of article fell and landed between their feet with a soft 'plop'.

He quickly recognized that it was an Exorcist uniform with a brief glance.

Allen raised his eyes back to her.

"(Name)." His gaze on her softened.

She stared up at Allen, surprised to see the very person she was thinking about before her.

Another blink at him snapped her out of her stunned silence and sent her heart hammering away.

Shit.

What should she say or do?

After the bet and what happened in the cafeteria earlier, she'd been thinking of distancing herself away from him for a while to right herself, but this was too soon.

"S-Sorry, Allen." A strained smile quirked her lips. She found it hard to meet those gray waiting eyes.

Anxiety shook like a fist in her guts.

Biting her lower lip, she bent down and picked her uniform off the ground.

(Name) gave him another small smile as she rose again with her uniform hugged to her chest.

Her eyes fell onto his nose, too scared to raise her gaze even higher.

"I-I'll see you around."

Bewildered, Allen watched (Name) try to move around him, brushing her way past in the gap between him and the wall.

What...What's with her?

The muscle at his jaw tightened.

An unreadable look swept over Allen's face as his arm shot out to the wall, planting it right before her shocked face.

"(Name)." A tightness in his voice was evident. The dark, bitter tone in it sat on a fine line between frustration and desperation.

"Allen…" She tore her gaze away from his arm before her to look at him.

The unreadable look remained.

"Did I do something wrong?" His eyes were downcast.

She stared at him, stunned.

"What did I do to upset you?"

Her eyes grew wide.

"No, it's not that…" Her words fell out with a small gasp.

His eyes slowly rose to her face.

"Then why…"

His dark, sad gaze met hers with a burst of pain in them that nearly made her forget to breathe.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Part 4

#dgm #dgrayman #allen walker #allen angst #allenwalkerxreader #anime #dgm fanfic #reader #imagines #romance #anime romance #dgm oc #d grayman #dgm hallow #manga #dgm manga

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kaiunkaiku · 5 years ago

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I return from the grave with a fic! I swear I wasn’t meaning to publish this on April 1st but what can you do, I’m beyond done with this particular piece and it’s finally ready. Fuck it.

Fandom: D.Gray-man

Warnings: Illness, delirious narrator at times, attempted and botched character analysis

@i-am-too-sick it’s finally here!

Kanda is shaking.

Lavi has been aware of this fact for a while, now.

Kanda has been shaking for a while, now.

Lavi would like to do something about it, since Kanda is obviously feeling like utter hell, but his last attempt to approach ended with Mugen’s hilt against his throat, so he isn’t about to try that again any time soon. His biggest accomplishment is his jacket acting as Kanda’s pillow.

But Kanda does look horribly pale, the dark of his hair only contrasting it further in the dim lights of the train cabin. Lavi wonders how high his fever currently is, but he has no way of checking. Kanda is, in general, very strict about his personal space, but right now it seems to be even worse. Lavi has tried asking, several times, but the responses have consisted of one-syllable answers, muttered grumbling and murderous glares, and he isn’t a big fan of being the target of Kanda-level bloodlust.

Lavi just hopes he’ll manage to keep his head until Marie and General Tiedoll join them at the next station in a few hours.

The few hours pass and Kanda’s condition shows no signs of improving – rather, it almost looks like he’s getting worse. The shaking is more obvious now, and he’s sweating. His hair is plastered to his face that has taken a quite worrying ashy hue. The worst is his ragged breathing that he seems to be trying to control with no success at all. Lavi is fairly sure Kanda’s body is just trying to get rid of whatever is wrong, but because this is Kanda, it’s doing it at a horribly accelerated pace. Kanda is probably trying to fight it, because Lavi can’t even imagine how awful it must be for something that’s supposed to last presumably over a week, because if he’s correct Kanda has some nasty variant of the flu, to cram itself in all its misery into a day or two.

XxX

Generally, Kanda doesn’t have anything in particular against trains. They’re certainly faster than walking, and he’s willing to stand irritating company, as long as the company is silent, if it means he can sit down and maybe nap (he prefers walking with Allen, because the fucking bean sprout cannot shut the fuck up, which means walking far enough ahead of him is the only way to get away from the incessant yapping).

Right now, though, the train cabin feels like a rattling death trap. He’s only vaguely aware of Lavi’s concerned stare, and somehow he feels like he’s both burning and freezing in his own skin. He’s fairly sure his hands are shaking too badly to even hold Mugen anymore, so if Lavi decides to try and come closer again, he’s not really sure what’s going to happen. He’ll probably hurl.

Kanda’s body feels like he’s been fighting for a week straight, and his head feels like it’s simultaneously being crushed and melding itself back together. Both are even on their own enough to make him scream on a bad day, and if he knew with any certainty that screaming would make the pain stop, he’d do it in a heartbeat. He has, however, come to the conclusion that even the slightest of sounds makes it exponentially worse, so he remains silent and grits his teeth. The rattling of the train is awful enough, even if Lavi’s uniform jacket does soften it ever so slightly.

Lavi is saying something, Kanda thinks, and it sets little explosions off in his head and he wants to scream again, but he can’t take a deep enough breath to make that much noise anyway. If he didn’t know better, he’d say he’s currently working with maybe half a lung instead of two. Kanda opens his eyes to send a menacing glare in Lavi’s direction, but his vision is so blurry he can barely make out where the damn rabbit is at the moment.

He can still see the lotus, though. Clear and sharp. Everywhere.

It takes him a moment to realize that the train isn’t moving. Stringing together a coherent train of thought is far more difficult than it should be, and it isn’t until he sees a flash of familiar dark fabric that he realizes they’re probably at a station.

And then the General shouts, “Yuu-kun!” or at least Kanda is fairly sure he does, and Kanda feels all of his muscles lock up in protest to the sudden noise. There’s a choked gasp that probably came from his own mouth, and then a hand on his face and it’s both awful and a blessing because the hand is cool against his burning skin but his skin also feels like it’s burning off and the contact makes it worse and suddenly Kanda has no idea which way he’s lying down, where’s up where’s down is he moving is he not moving why does someone keep screaming his name why is his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest why is his throat being shred to pieces

what the hell is happening.

XxX

Kanda is shaking.

He was shaking before, too, but that was more on the side of shivering. Right now, he’s nearly convulsing, and Lavi just prays he’s not going to have a seizure, because he’s not a doctor, Marie is not a doctor and General Tiedoll is not a doctor, and the cabin is on the smaller side. They have another cabin booked for them, presumably similar to this one, so they don’t have to spend the remaining trip all in the same small space, and Lavi has no idea why the hell he’s thinking about that right now, because there’s something very, very wrong with Kanda.

Marie is standing at the door, although he looks like he’d rather scoop Kanda up from where he’s lying, curled up to himself around Mugen, and carry him out and to the nearest inn. If Lavi is being honest, Kanda kind of looks like that would be good for him.

General Tiedoll has his hand on Kanda’s cheek and a concerned frown on his own face. Kanda himself is simultaneously trying to breathe and cough his lungs out, and Lavi is afraid Kanda is really going to pass out soon, if not from anything else then from lack of oxygen. The General is trying to talk to him, or at least to get his attention somehow, but Kanda doesn’t look like he’s even hearing, let alone responding.

And then, Kanda stops. Suddenly all the movement and noise ceases and his eyes widen for a fraction of a second. “Yuu-kun?” the General asks, voice just as concerned as his face. A horrible whimper, barely audible, escapes Kanda’s lips, and Lavi decidedly never, never wants to hear anything so awful ever again, and his eyes roll back. Kanda goes limp and both Marie and Lavi surge forward, even though General Tiedoll is already turning his pupil over on his back. He swiftly hands Mugen to Lavi, who nearly drops it.

Kanda looks disturbingly peaceful unconscious, Lavi thinks. His breathing is still messed up, but his face is slack and void of any irritation or discomfort, as if it hasn’t been ten seconds since he was in excruciating pain and shaking badly enough for it to be heard.

XxX

Waking up is… weird. Everything is a little fuzzy, everything is a lot painful and nothing feels quite right. There’s something cool on his face, covering his eyes, which is okay because he’s fairly sure he doesn’t want to see anything right now, and he’s freezing.

There’s a hand in his hair and something under his head.

The fingers on his scalp nearly make Kanda sit up and flinch back, but before his reflexes can kick in, he recognizes the familiar feeling.

Marie.

That’s good, Marie is good. Marie is constant, Marie is safe, and although Kanda isn’t quite sure how he ended up in this situation, he feels horrible enough to let Marie run his fingers through his hair. He remembers feeling sick earlier, too, vaguely before he and Lavi boarded the train, and then progressively worse after that. He remembers Lavi prodding him, remembers Lavi offering him his jacket at some point and not even bothering to refuse.

After that, most things are just pain and haze. He can kind of recall pointing Mugen, hilted, at the damn rabbit’s throat, but that’s a usual occurrence and he could be remembering a totally different time.

“You’re awake?”

Kanda can’t help but flinch at the sudden voice. It’s quiet and low, and doesn’t aggravate his head as badly as it probably could. Marie’s fingers stop moving for a moment before continuing their journey along his scalp. Kanda offers a low hum in a belated response. He thinks, at least. He can’t seem to distinguish between seconds and minutes.

“You gave us quite a scare,” Marie continues, and while both his presence and voice are familiar and safe and comforting, just concentrating on the words feels exhausting. “How do you feel?”

“Like my body is trying to stitch itself together while being shred to pieces,” Kanda mutters in response, through a raw throat. He isn’t sure how much sense that sentence made, but he can’t seem to be sure of anything right now. There’s a weird pressure in his head that’s distorting everything, or maybe it’s the constant, dizzying rush of blood in his ears. Marie’s voice sounds oddly distant, almost like an echo.

The train lurches in some direction, Kanda isn’t sure which because he’s not sure which way he himself is except that he’s on his back and he thinks his head is on Marie’s lap, and there’s a crash and some cursing coming from somewhere and the whatever was on his face slides off. There’s a hand on his waist and he doesn’t know how long it’s been there and suddenly everything is spinning even though he has his eyes closed, no he doesn’t when did he open his eyes, there are flowers at the edges of his vision, he thinks, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t feel like himself and he just wants things to stay still and he can’t breathe—

And then there’s red in his vision, a touch on his shoulder and all he can hear is white noise but Lavi’s lips are moving and the world tilts, there’s a hand on his back and he feels vaguely like he’s going to throw up. Swallows thickly. The hands on him are doing something, pushing him somewhere and he wants them off, off, he doesn’t know whether he’s burning or freezing again because maybe it’s both. It kind of feels like the time the Science Section freaks accidentally set him on fire and then dunked him in ice cold water because it was November, except that this is his entire body burning and not just his arm.

Huh. He still hasn’t murdered Reever for that.

XxX

Kanda is shaking.

It’s more on the shivering side again, which Lavi supposes is good, but he’s also borderline delirious. He’s barely reacting to anything, even though according to Marie he was still responsive just moments ago. Sudden movements, Lavi assumes, are doing him no favors.

The more pressing issue, however, is the fact that Kanda’s face is clammy with sweat and positively burning. His pupils are dilated so far Lavi can barely see the blue of Kanda’s eyes around them, and keeping calm is becoming increasingly difficult.

The fact is, though, that currently Lavi is the person with most medical knowledge present, so he just has to suck it up.

“Marie,” he starts, directing his words to the older Exorcist, hands still on Kanda’s shoulders. “We need to get his fever down. He’s burning up.” Marie nods and starts unbuttoning Kanda’s uniform jacket. It hurts Lavi’s heart, because Kanda obviously feels like he’s freezing, but getting his body temperature down is more important than comfort right now.

General Tiedoll is still negotiating with the train staff about a bigger cabin with an actual bed, which shouldn’t be so difficult because they’re the Black Order, but apparently some civilians can be more of a pain in the ass than an Akuma or three.

It doesn’t matter, Lavi tells himself as he moves to open the cabin’s window. Marie is in the process of taking off Kanda’s shirt, a process made difficult by the fact that Kanda has no idea what’s going on and probably just wants to stay warm. Marie is talking to him in a low voice, trying to make him relax enough to let him get the shirt off, because Kanda has his arms locked around himself.

Lavi needs water. He also needs ice, but he’s not sure he can find that on the train. They have two stations left until the final one, and from there they’re supposed to make their way to London. Though, Lavi suspects they might have to stay in France a bit longer than expected, because he’s not hauling Kanda across the English Channel in this condition. That means more expenses for the Order, of course, but Komui will probably understand.

No, Komui will definitely understand, Lavi decides, because despite the fact that the man is a total whackjob, he also cares deeply for all his subordinates. If it wasn’t for his workload and tendency to get seasick, Lavi wouldn’t be surprised to see Komui drag himself across the Channel just to check on Kanda. One or two nights in Calais for four Exorcists isn’t going to destroy the Order’s budget.

And now, he needs that water. He trusts Marie to take care of Kanda – he’s been an Exorcist long enough to know actual, proper first-aid (one would expect any person to know first-aid when they frequently fight against killer machines, but Kanda absolutely sucks at that), and more importantly, Kanda trusts him.

XxX

Marie is worried, there’s no other way to express it. He trusts Lavi to know what he’s doing, but with the way Kanda’s skin is burning or heart is beating or breathing is sounding, all of his concerns can’t be put to rest with trust alone. Kanda is shivering against him already, and having to take off his shirt is next level of horrible.

He’s not quite sure whether Kanda’s rapid pulse is because of the sickness or the fact that he’s just very agitated, or maybe both, but trying to calm him down is doing absolutely nothing. Marie doesn’t know if Kanda is even registering anything that’s happening around him, except for the fact that he’s cold and miserable.

What he does know is that Kanda would probably rather be wrapped in all the available jackets and blankets and lying down. That, however, isn’t going to happen, so Marie settles for trying to soothe away the worst of Kanda’s mental discomfort until Lavi arrives with the water.

He’s been running his hands through Kanda’s messy hair for a few moments when he hears something in Kanda’s chest hitch, and his fellow pupil jerks away from him violently. At first it almost sounds like he can’t draw breath at all, but the coughing fit that follows is almost worse.

If he couldn’t breathe at all, Marie could do something about it. Now, however, he can merely rub Kanda’s back behind his lungs and hope it helps, and make sure Kanda doesn’t fall over and to the floor. Kanda’s hands are grasping at whatever they can get a hold of until the other one finds Marie’s wrist and latches there.

Marie both feels and hears the rattling from Kanda’s lungs, and it’s one of those moments when he’s glad he doesn’t have to see but also wishing he didn’t have to hear.

Kanda’s fingers feel like ice against Marie’s wrist, which is disconcerting, as both his back and chest are far, far too warm. Marie doesn’t recall Kanda being sick ever before, just injured or exhausted, and he’s known his fellow pupil for nine years. Of course there have been months in between, missions with other people and assignments on the opposite sides of the world, but Kanda has always known of his injuries beforehand when they’ve met up again, without him telling him, so Marie finds it reasonable to assume that he would have been informed had Kanda ever been ill. He has long since stopped listening to stories of Kanda’s injuries, because Kanda tends to rely on his regenerative abilities and approximately every third story is got blasted through the chest or had his stomach blown up or something equally fatal for anyone who isn’t Kanda.

Now, as Kanda is trembling in his arms, Marie finds it impossible to believe that something as fragile as this kid could ever survive anything like being clawed through. He knows Kanda is strong, it’s an undeniable fact, but right now he also seems very, very human.

XxX

Kanda is shaking.

Lavi nudges the door of the cabin open with his foot, both hands holding buckets of water and General Tiedoll right behind him with an armful of rags and towels. It comes as a surprise that both Kanda and Marie are on the floor, but the shaking is something Lavi has almost come to expect. It’s worse again, not as bad as it was earlier when he passed out but definitely more than shivering. There’s probably a word for that particular state, Lavi thinks, at least in some language he knows, but now is not the time to think about vocabulary.

The sound that’s supposedly Kanda’s breathing is absolutely horrible. It’s wheezing and sounds like it’s going through a clogged filter. Kanda is on his knees, his weight supported by Marie and his back heaving, and his hair hangs around his face limply. Marie is also on his knees, both arms fully dedicated to preventing Kanda from toppling over and looking far more concerned than what Lavi would like to see. Kanda has a death grip on Marie’s arm – Lavi can see the muscles in his forearm straining from the strength of it, and it must hurt like hell for Marie.

Lavi sets the buckets down and hopes the movement of the train won’t knock them over. Kanda’s face is just as pale as it has been for the entirety of the journey, washed of all color, but the delirious, vacant look is gone – he looks more like the Kanda Yuu Lavi knows with a frown on his face, even if it is pained. Lavi isn’t sure whether that’s a good sign or not, but it gives him some hope. Hell, maybe he’ll get a response at some point.

Apparently General Tiedoll has similar ideas – he’s already at Kanda’s side when Lavi has just made sure that the buckets stay still. The General lifts a hand to Kanda’s cheek, touch tender and eyes soft, and Lavi feels more like an outsider than he usually does. Those three are a family (a family of four, they’re supposed to be, and Daisya’s absence is still a gaping wound in the space to Kanda’s right), and Lavi feels like he’s intruding on something private he shouldn’t even be seeing.

Lavi settles himself carefully to Kanda’s left with a damp towel he drapes on Kanda’s shoulders. A shudder works itself up Kanda’s spine, and Lavi watches it travel through his shoulders to his fingertips that loosen a little around Marie’s wrist. It’s going to bruise, Lavi can see that, and Kanda is going to feel bad and guilty about it later and have no idea what to do about those feelings, and Lavi is going to have to try and talk him through that. Sure, it’s nice that Kanda is having normal human emotions these days, instead of just anger, annoyance and frustration, but it’s a work in progress.

Kanda lets out a huff that could almost be a whimper, and tries to curl further up to himself and into Marie. It’s almost pitiful, almost, but mostly it’s as close to heartbreaking as Lavi is likely to ever find anything.

That’s a thought he files neatly in a box that he tries to throw away but ends up not being able to.

Together they gather Kanda from the floor and Marie settles them into the position they were in earlier, Kanda lying down with his head on Marie’s lap and still gripping Marie’s uniform – his hand has moved to clutch the fabric of Marie’s sleeve, but a deathgrip is a deathgrip. General Tiedoll carefully takes Kanda’s free hand and murmurs something Lavi deliberately doesn’t pay attention to.

He steps out to find someone he can chew out for still not having that larger cabin.

XxX

Once Kanda settles down and they manage to maneuver him into a position where his breathing doesn’t sound like he’s going to asphyxiate in the immediate future, General Tiedoll stands up from the floor he’s been crouching down to provide his young apprentice some comfort. He wets a rag, wrings it out and sets it on Kanda’s forehead, and Kanda’s breath pauses momentarily but doesn’t hitch. The rattle in his lungs is still there, but it sounds more contained and less likely to explode at any given moment; Marie resists the urge to sigh in relief.

The General takes Kanda’s hand again, and starts to quietly talk about their last assignment. He omits everything worse than the run-of-the-mill destruction level ones cause, and instead talks about the children, the food, the generosity of the villagers, the birds that sang in the trees at the lake’s shoreline. He doesn’t mention the six-year-old girl who lost her leg and entire family in an Akuma attack, or the fourteen-year-old boy who died saving her – instead, he mentions the blind child who was elated to meet Marie. The teenager who sang her voice raw at the front of a half-destroyed town hall where the people gathered to draw strength from each other. The group of elderly ladies who put their ingredients together and spent two days cooking and baking so everyone had food.

By the time Lavi comes back, Kanda’s breath has evened out as much as it’s likely to do right now, and he’s at least dozed off if not outright fallen asleep. There’s an aura of irritation around Lavi that tells Marie the train staff is still being difficult before he even opens his mouth.

“Now they’re saying that if we still want to switch cabins we can, but there’s also barely an hour until we reach Calais,” Lavi says, one hand thoughtfully rubbing at his neck. “What do you think, is it worth to move him?”

Marie considers this for a moment, brushing his fingers through Kanda’s tangled hair. “I don’t think so, no,” he replies after a brief pause.

“He finally calmed down, so moving him now would only make it worse,” General Tiedoll continues for him. Marie nods in agreement.

Lavi sighs heavily, but the near-palpable aura around him dissipates somewhat.

XxX

For the first time in hours, Kanda isn’t shaking. There’s an occasional frown that passes on his still-far-too-pale face, and Lavi doesn’t know if it’s just general discomfort or nightmares, but all in all he looks much better now.

Now don’t get him wrong, Kanda still looks absolutely miserable, but he’s no longer shaking uncontrollably, and he looks like he’s actually asleep rather than unconscious. Lavi considers this a victory.

He’s still feverish, but it’s not spiking anymore, so as they steadily approach the final stop they start dressing Kanda back up. Kanda is semi-awake for it and actually tries to help in the process, but he seems spent and exhausted. He keeps tugging at his loose hair like it’s distracting him, so after a while Lavi switches places with Marie so he can sit next to Kanda instead.

“Yuu, I’m going to tie your hair up, yeah? That okay with you?” Lavi asks even though he so often doesn’t, usually just going for it while Kanda sleeps. Kanda considers this for a moment, before slowly nodding and turning so his back is fully facing Lavi and he can lean his head on the wall to their right. His breath has picked up pace again now that he’s sitting up, so Lavi does quick work with the loose braid starting at the base of Kanda’s neck.

It’s not the most beautiful braid he’s ever done, but it effectively stops Kanda’s hair from tangling up further and getting in the way of everything. He ties it up just as the announcement that they’ll be arriving shortly sounds, and Kanda immediately perks up. Lavi lets go of his hair as Kanda reaches for his uniform jacket.

“When’s the next ferry leaving?” Kanda asks, tugging his jacket on. His voice is hoarse, barely there, and he sways as he stands up. Lavi could swear he goes another shade whiter.

“We’ll be staying the night,” Marie answers before Lavi can. Kanda frowns.

“Why?” he demands, trying for a menacing glare. In any other circumstances Lavi would be comparing him to a wet cat right now, because this could be incredibly funny, but Kanda’s hands are shaking as he tries to button up his jacket.

The train lurches and Kanda’s knees buckle.

Lavi reaches for him and yanks him back on the seat before he can go down, and then gets to hold him up as Kanda almost slides down anyway. His breathing is back to sounding like a nightmare. Lavi raises a hand to Kanda’s face to find it clammy with cold sweat, and softly swears to himself.

“Yuu,” he starts firmly. Kanda doesn’t react at all. “Yuu, do not pass out on me now. You hear me?” He taps at Kanda’s cheek lightly, and watches as he swallows convulsively through the ragged breathing. “Yuu, eyes on me. Nothing else matters. Look at me.”

From the corner of his eye he notices General Tiedoll approaching them, but he quickly settles back when Lavi quickly shakes his head at him. He can understand the General wanting to do something, but Kanda needs one thing to focus on right now and it’ll be easier if it’s Lavi. Kanda’s gaze looks hazy and Lavi is genuinely concerned he might pass out. It’s vaguely terrifying. He squashes that feeling down.

It takes a lot of prodding until Kanda’s eyes finally zero in on him. He still looks dizzy, but focus is good. Focus means Lavi can talk to him.

“Good, that’s good. Just keep looking at me, okay.” He decides to risk angering Kanda again, because really, he has to. “You really wanna cross the Channel like this, Yuu?” He expects a sudden reaction, anger, but all he gets is Kanda closing his eyes and clicking his tongue in a display of annoyance. Thought so.

Kanda tries to walk out once the train stops, he really does. It’s kind of sad to watch. He keeps glaring at Lavi and Marie and the General in that miserable wet cat kind of way until he finally gives in to either his own body or General Tiedoll who keeps insisting he let Marie carry him.

There’s a nice little inn almost right next to the station that they decide suits their needs. Lavi stays at the station to make a call to Komui while the others go ahead.

Komui is, unsurprisingly, not pleased to hear what he has to say, but as expected he’s more worried about Kanda than he is about the Order’s budget. He briefly questions Lavi about the mission he and Kanda were on for the past week, but he’s really more interested in Lavi’s observations about Kanda’s abilities than anything else about it.

Well, that and Kanda’s general wellbeing.

They keep the call short, because Lavi can hear Reever crying in the background and while Komui has no interest in paperwork, he does want Lavi to check on Kanda as soon as possible.

The young lady clearing tables at the inn instructs him to the rooms General Tiedoll reserved for them. Two rooms; though all of them want to stay with Kanda, the rooms aren’t large enough for four people, so the general consensus ends up being that as the person with the most amount of medical knowledge despite being Kanda’s least favorite person of the group, Lavi will be rooming with him.

Kanda is already asleep, barely out of his jacket and boots and once again curled around Mugen. Lavi sets his travel bag on the bed and sits down next to it. Kanda looks almost peaceful, now. He hasn’t taken out the braid, Lavi notes with a light air of satisfaction.

It’s still only late afternoon and the window is letting in a nice amount of light, so he takes out his writing equipment and starts chronicling.

#my writing #fanfiction #sickfic #dgm

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theangriestpea · 5 years ago

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In the Shadows : Eight

Summary: Jughead Jones, resident werewolf, just wants to protect his family and his pack from the incoming doom of The Red Circle. Sweet Pea and Lily join him to help keep the Southside safe from human tyranny. Meanwhile a demon princess named Myra and succubus named Lavender had a plan to bring on the apocalypse. <ao3> <masterlist> <playlist>

Rating: Mature // Explicit

Pairings: Jughead Jones x OC, Sweet Pea x OC, Kurtz x OC

Warnings: None for this chapter

Word Count: 5k+

A/N: This is like my least favorite chapter that I've written thus far and I really apologize for that. It just didn't come out the way that I had hoped, so hopefully it is still enjoyable. I've got a paid writing gig that I'm going to have to divide my time with so updates may slow down a tad (only by a day or so). I'm getting back to requests after this.

Chapter Eight: Soul Bound

The purple haired succubus was sitting on the old couch in the small cottage within the mystical forest. The knowledge of withholding the information of her child's paternal parent was eating at her more and more. Lily had been nothing but kind to her since she realized that the demon could be trusted. Presently she was fixing her a special tea blend to help with her terrible morning sickness. It was getting progressively worse as the days went by.

“Lily, I have a confession to make.” Lav said, her voice not sounding nearly as confident as she had wanted it to. “About...the father of the baby.” She twirled her hair around her finger, needing something to do with her hands while she waited.

The witch was at the kitchen counter, measuring out tea into disposable tea bags for her new friend. She hummed back a nonverbal response for the demon to continue as she concentrated.

“I lied before.” Lav admitted, “and it’s killing me not to tell you the truth. What is really going on. Sweet Pea has this fantasy that he can fix things but I don’t think it is nearly that simple.”

Lily glanced up at her and their eyes caught one another. They held the stare, Lily a bit confused as Lav’s looked sorrowful and sympathetic. “He’s the father. What I said about being forced was true. Myra, she said it had to be him and I had no choice in the matter. I didn’t even want to have a child to begin with but now...Now that I’m pregnant, I can’t lose her. I know you understand as a mother, and even though I’m a demon….I’m human too.”

She went back to measuring carefully. This wasn’t really a surprise. She had a suspicion that Sweet Pea was more involved than he let on. Plus she could sense very strong, very dark magical energy from the child already. Energy that nearly matched her baby daddy’s. “Tell me everything.” Lily said, her voice calm and careful. “I’m not upset. I know how he has no idea what condoms are and besides you mentioned before she gave you a potion to make you conceive. It’s not like you knew him before all of this. I’m just glad you didn’t kill him.”

Lav relaxed against the couch, glad that Sweet Pea was out doing an odd job to get them some extra money. It was hard to be around him when he was off limits. “There is a prophecy.” She continued, “and through decades of decoding it, Asmodeus discovered that the birth of a certain child would be a catalyst in bringing on the apocalypse.”

Lily stopped what she was doing. Her eyes widened as she looked at Lavender again. Was she really talking about the end of the world? This world? The mortal realm on Earth?

“Myra enslaved me by taking my mortal soul when I was in a bad car accident. My neck snapped, I was dead, but my demon half simply took over. I didn’t even know what I was until then. The mother of the child would be a hybrid without a soul. A succubus to be exact. The father would be a purely dark witch, also without a soul. This is a really dumbed down version of this, I don’t know how else to explain it.” Lav said, her heart racing in her chest now from anxiety on how Lily would react.

“Lavender.” Lily said, wanting clarification, “she bred you to bring on the end of the world? With Sweet Pea? Your daughter is going to bring the apocalypse?”

Her voice wasn’t angry, resentful, or hateful. The demon relaxed only slightly at how calm Lily was at this news. “Yes. Myra will take her the second the cord is cut and will unleash hell on Earth. I will never see her again. And Lily, there are very specific reasons why I do not want all of hell’s demons to roam the Earth and most of them are entirely selfish.”

Lily looked back at the tea leaves, taking a deep breathe to calm her hammering heart. “Most of them?” She asked, wondering why they weren’t all entirely selfish.

“I happen to like Earth the way it is.” Lavender said, “And I just want the mortals in my life to be happy. I want Daisy to grow up with both parents. I want you and Sweet Pea to continue to live by her side. I want Sweet Pea to get his soul back because he’s only going to get worse.”

“What did he do to you the other week? When you had to heal yourself.” Lily questioned, needing to know. “Why did you let him?”

Lavender crossed her legs to try and hide her discomfort at the question. “We had sex. It got a little rough, that’s it.”

“So rough that you had to heal yourself? You’re pregnant, Lavender, you can’t let him-”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Lav quickly interjected. “He has no soul, Lily. I understand you don’t know how people are without one. They’re terrible. It’s frightening, honestly, what a man can do without any real conscience to hold him back. He will only get worse which is why it’s imperative for you to get it back if you want him to be any kind of father to Daisy in the future, you must.”

Lily finished up the last tea bag, sealing it and putting them all into a glass jar. “I know. He’s just getting darker. I expect him to come home covered in blood half the time. His anger was always bad but never like this. I’ll get his soul back and I’ll get yours back too.”

Lav was silent as Lily handed her the jar. The demon dared to look up at her, "I know a way to break the contract." She said in a soft voice, praying that Myra wasn't hiding in some nearby shadow.

Lily smiled faintly, "she can't hear you. I have the house warded. Tell me what you have in mind."

"The vargulf is dying. He only has a few weeks left, tops. I think...I think she's in love with him. Only white magic can heal him. Only you can bring him back from the brink. Cut a deal with her. Heal him in exchange for my freedom and my mortal soul." Lav said, eyes never leaving Lily's face. "It will not protect my child, but she can no longer hurt me without repercussion."

Lily sat down next to her on the couch as Daisy toddled in, having just woken up from her nap. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the demon, "Lavie!" She giggled, running up and holding onto her legs. Lav smiled and placed a gentle hand on her head.

"Would you oppose Sweet Pea staying with you for protection? After I do this?" Lily asked, the sight of her daughter hugging the succubus warmed her heart. Daisy needed more interaction with people that weren't her parents. "He is an asshole but he is a powerful witch. Myra is stronger than you, is she not?"

Lav went quiet once more as she picked up the little girl and set her in her lap. Daisy loved to play with her purple hair, finding it memorizing. "Only if he has his soul back. He's insufferable right now. Her strength is in her age and lineage. My magic would be stronger if I had my soul, but it’s been gone for decades now. There’s not telling what state it is even in. I don’t know where she has been keeping it.”

“I plan on retrieving his soul in a few days. I need to devise a good offering to my matrons before and probably spend another night with Jug...for good measure.” Lily said, a light blush crossing the tops of her cheeks. While Lavender was the one who set them up, it was still a bit embarrassing to talk about.

The demon smirked at her, “try not to get knocked up again.” She teased as Daisy pulled at her hair. She ignored the pain, tolerating it as Daisy twisted it around her fingers in an attempt to braid it, but really she was only knotting it up. “Although you would be stron-”

The witch held up a hand to keep her quiet, “don’t even go there. I’ll only have another one when things are stable and the end of the world isn’t imminent.”

“That’s fair.” Lavender said, shrugging. “Think you can stop it?”

“I won’t know for sure until you get something for me.” Lily said, her tone becoming serious. “It might be easier for you to get a hold of than me. With your limitless access to mortal currency.”

Lav cocked her head to the side, curious. “If you need money, Lily, I can get it for you. I’ve charmed many men out of their 401ks. Do you know how many life insurances I’ve stolen away? It’s easier than it sounds.”

“What does a demon need money for anyway?” Lily asked, a bit exasperated. Money was always an issue for them. Neither could afford childcare and thus only one of them could really keep a steady job. They had decided it would be Sweet Pea but his temper got him fired more often than not. The longest he ever lasted in one place was six weeks.

“I may be a demon but I still live here on Earth so I have to abide by some mortal constructs. Before I knew what I was, when I thought I was just an ordinary human, I loved in a trailer park much like Sunnyside without the rampant flea problem. My father made enough to get by and that was about it. I always dreamed of living in a huge house with a nice car and clothes that weren’t second-hand. Not having to get food from a church pantry because we had to sell our food stamps to pay the light bill. When I learned how to control my power, I used it for my own personal gain until Myra needed me to target some poor sod for whatever reason. Someone owed a debt and their soul needed collecting or whatnot.” She let out a small sigh. “I live where I live because that’s where Myra insists that I stay. I don’t have a choice in what I can really do with the wealth I’ve amassed.”

She glanced at Lily out of the corner of her eye, “Maybe it would be better suited to just...give it to you.”

Lily bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to even think about suddenly not having to worry about money. “Keep your money, we’re doing fine. Sweet Pea is out making us some money right now.”

Lav shrugged, “If you say so. What is it that you need me to get?”

“This prophecy should be in some kind of book, somewhere on Earth. All good prophecies are. An oracle somewhere has to know about this and they are bound to have written it down. Get me this book, Lavender, and we can find out how to end this for good.” Lily said, confident in her plan.

“A book? I think I can manage that.” She mumbled, mostly to herself. “Give me a week. I’ll see what I can do.” Her eyes moved to look at the little girl, “Alright, Daze, I better go before your jerkoff father gets home.”

Daisy giggled and crawled over onto her mother’s lap. “Bye, bye, Lavie!” She said happily and Lav smiled back as she stood.

“Bye, bye, Daisy.” She patted her on the head once more playfully. “And thanks for the tea, Lily. My stomach will appreciate it in the morning.”

“No problem, let me know if you need anything else.” Lily said as she hugged her daughter. Lav waved as she exited the cottage, glad to have avoided Sweet Pea for the time being.

Or so she thought. The asshole in question was walking up to the door as she was leaving, scowl on his face. “What are you doing here?” He practically hissed at her.

Lav rolled her eyes at him, “Just leaving, troll.” She said as she walked passed him, he reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her close.

“What did you tell her?” He asked, voice low and angry with an edge of hate.

“The truth. Now let me go or I’ll have Myra smite you where you stand.” Lav said threateningly, though she would never actually do it. Sweet Pea instantly released her and recoiled with a scowl. She watched as he turned and made his way back into the house, noticing that something else was off about him but choosing not to look too far into it.

Three days later, the day after Lily had spent a riveting night with her soulmate, she was ready to perform the spell to get Sweet Pea his soul back. Jughead was there, with Daisy, in the event that something went wrong. The warlock had begun to lash out at the wolf more and more, wishing he’d just stay away but deep down knowing why he couldn’t.

Lavender had not been around since she told Lily the truth about what was going on. Lily had kept it to herself thus far and had been going out of her way to ignore Sweet Pea as it was the easiest way to deal with his meltdowns. He had come home that day with only half the money he was supposed to get. What happened to the other half, she couldn’t get it out of him and was furious.

The oddest thing was when she tried to call the electric company, they informed her that her bill was paid in full. She knew she hadn’t paid it this month and was increasingly worried that there was an error and once they figured it out, they would shut their power off. Unfortunately she didn’t have time to dwell on her growing anxiety over money as there were bigger issues at play. The main one being Sweet Pea’s lack of soul.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Jughead asked, looking between the two witches sitting on the floor. “You’re just going to reach into hell and grab it?”

Lily smiled at him reassuringly. “It’s a little more complicated than that, but yes. I’ve already located it so it won’t be very hard. It will just take a lot of energy. It would have helped if Lavender was here to give me some of hers but...she’s not answering my calls.”

Jughead shifted uneasily, watching Sweet Pea’s eyes darken at what Lily had said. “You haven’t heard from her?” He asked, sounding more annoyed than worried. He didn’t want to let on that he cared at all about the demon. In truth, he didn’t care so much about her right now as he cared about the child growing inside of her.

“She’s fine.” Jughead said, “I checked on her yesterday. Her morning sickness is just getting bad and it’s taking all of her energy just to hunt right now. I guess demon pregnancy is rough.”

“All pregnancy is rough, Jug.” Lily corrected, glancing at Daisy who was playing with her runed blocks on the other side of the room. “Trust me. I’ll go check on her after this. She was supposed to look into something for me.”

Jughead nodded, “alright. Will it be safe to just leave him here?” He asked, motioning to Sweet Pea who was glowering at the two of them for talking as if he wasn’t sitting right there.

Lily turned her head back to look ahead at Sweet Pea, “He’ll be asleep for a while. A day or two, give or take. His soul has been down there for a long time. It’ll take time for it to resettle back into his body. Are you ready, Sweet Pea?” She asked, holding out her hands for him to take.

His large calloused hands grasped hers lightly and they both closed their eyes. Lily was muttering the spell under her breath, barely audible to anyone without supernatural hearing. Jughead didn’t understand Latin so he had no idea what she was saying.

The energy in the room grew so palpable that it was almost unbearable. Daisy stopped playing with her blocks and stared at her mother, somehow acting as if she knew what she was doing despite being so young. Jughead watched her instead of Lily, more interested in her reaction than what his girlfriend was doing.

The five white candles surrounding the two suddenly burst into flame as the temperature in the room climbed to an uncomfortable level. Sweat trailed down Lily’s spine as she brought the blackened soul closer and closer. Her grip on Sweet Pea’s hands were tight and borderline painful. The male witch winced as her nails dug into his flesh.

And then it was over. Sweet Pea’s body went slack and he crumpled forward in a state of unconsciousness. Lily was breathing heavily, feeling dizzy and nauseous all at once. Daisy walked over to her and placed a hand on the side of her face, a faint glow causing the ill sensations to dissipate.

Lily kissed her on the forehead. “Thanks baby.” She said before looking back at Jughead. “Can you help me get him into the bed?”

“Did it work?” Jughead asked, blinking at her. “His soul is back?”

She stood up with his help and rubbed the back of her neck to try and remove the sweat that had collected there. “It’s back but...it’s not in good shape. It’ll take time to heal. He’ll need something I can’t give him.”

Jughead moved around behind Sweet Pea and hoisted the man up awkwardly. Lily helped the best she could in her weakened state to get him into her bedroom. Once there Daisy walked in with a doll that Lily had never seen before.

“Daisy, where did you get that?” She asked, looking at the purple haired doll that had some kind of relaxation charm on it, similar to the one she put on the little girl’s stuffed cat.

“Lavie!” Daisy said as she climbed onto the bed. “Can I nap with daddy?”

Lily’s brow furrowed, unsure when the demon could have given Daisy a gift but appreciating it all the same. “Of course, just don’t wake him up. He’s very tired.”

“I know.” Daisy said as she curled up next to her father, the doll between them.

Jug turned and led Lily out. “If you want to check on Lav, I’ll stay and make sure Daisy is okay.”

A sigh left the witch’s lips as she collapsed on the couch. “I should rest first.” She admitted. “That took way more out of me than I thought it would. I will check on her in the morning. I’ll even take Daze to visit. They seem to enjoy each other’s company.”

Jughead laid down on the couch with his head in her lap so she could play with his hair, knowing it was one of her favorite things to do. “So what was she looking into?” He questioned, closing his eyes as her fingers softly threaded through his thick locks.

“There’s something much bigger going on and I think the four of us are the only ones that can stop it. There’s a book of prophecy she is getting for me. It’ll help us figure a way out of all of this.” Lily said softly, looking down at him with a sad expression that he did not see. Sweet Pea’s soul had been in worse shape than she had imagined it would be. She wasn’t sure what he would be like when he woke up.

The next day, Lavender finally returned the white witch’s phone call to inform her that the book was on its way to her. When asked how she got it, Lav laughed and answered honestly. This book in particular was an original, hand written, very old text that she found on eBay. It’s authenticity was confirmed through a very intensive set of magnified images. Lily wanted to know the price but Lavender refused to tell her, saying it would probably make her faint.

It arrived two days later and before Lavender took it to the cottage in the woods, where the father of her unborn child was finally starting to stir, she decided to take a look at the script herself. What could it hurt? Certainly not much.

Most of it was muddled garbage that made very little sense after the first few paragraphs which outlined her own conception. She finally got to the part about her ill-fated interaction with Sweet Pea and how her daughter was conceived. It aligned almost perfectly with what had happened but there was one line that made her blood run cold. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest as she reread it dozens of times. There was no possible way this could be true. It had to be a mistake. There was no way that Sweet Pea was….he was…

She closed the book and resisted the urge to throw it out of her bedroom window. Instead it sat silently by her side as she sat with her face in her hands, wondering what on earth she was going to do about this. It had been a dream to be free of him once this was over. To disappear somewhere with her daughter, never to have to look upon his handsome face again. If what was written was true, then that would be impossible.

Her phone buzzed and she heard the chirp of a new notification. Lav picked up her phone and saw it was Lily, telling her that it was a good time for her to come over. Sweet Pea was awake and Jughead was on his way. The demon typed back a quick reply that she’d be there in ten.

She slid off the bed slowly, grabbing the book without much care to its delicate condition and left for the cottage.

When she arrived she sat in her car for a moment, weighing her options. She needed Lily’s help but she didn’t want Lily to find out the truth . The truth that Lav wished she didn’t know. She saw Lily’s face appear between the parted curtains of the window. Now that she was caught, Lav had no choice but to go inside.

She exited the car and walked up to the door, Lily opening it before she could even knock. “Did you get it?!” She asked, voice perfectly portraying her excitement.

Lavender swallowed her anxiety thickly. “Yea. Here.” She handed it over, wishing she had blacked that sentence out or done something to alter it. Maybe if no one else knew, then it wouldn’t be real. It was too late for that.

“Are you okay? You look pale.” Lily asked as she led the demon inside of her home. Lav chose not to look through the open bedroom door, knowing that Sweet Pea was laying on the bed. She didn’t think she could stomach looking at him right now, the need to vomit growing in the pit of her stomach.

“Just morning sickness.” She lied. It was three in the afternoon. She was done throwing up for the day. Though morning sickness could be any time of the day, hers typically lasted from early morning to early afternoon. By two she was usually fine enough to go try and collect some food.

Lily ignored the lie, figuring if Lav wanted to tell her what was really bothering her then she would. Jughead walked through the door a second later and her face lit up with a smile. “Juggie, you’re late.”

Jughead smiled, rubbing the back of his head. “My dad had to lecture me about bringing stray cats into the house.” He said, giving Lily a knowing look. “Something about his allergies are bothering him.”

The witch giggled. She often took her feline form when visiting Jughead as it was a safer way for her to travel at night. “Come sit, she brought the book.” She plopped down on the couch and opened it, starting from the beginning.

“Good luck deciphering half of that crap.” Lav said, choose to sit on the floor. “Where is Daisy?”

“She’s trying to heal Sweet Pea.” Lily said quietly. “I don’t have the heart to tell her that her kind of magic isn’t what he needs right now.”

The demon chewed on her lower lip, wanting to ask what the matter was but not wanting to out herself as having any kind of feelings towards him.

Jughead looked between the two, not really understanding the expression Lavender had on her face. “What kind of magic does he need?”

“It’s complicated Jug. Souls can only be healed by their soulmates. We don’t know who his is. If we could find them then this could all be over.” Lily said as she dragged her finger down the spine of the book. “Let’s not worry about that now. Let’s try to see if we can figure this out.”

The three were silent as Lily read the old book aloud. Lav’s teeth drew blood as they dug into her flesh harder and harder. Jughead smelled it and was staring at her, wondering what had her so on edge.

Lily stopped just before the dreaded part. “Does all of this sound right so far? Has all of this happened already?” She looked at Lavender who was staring at the bedroom doorway, distracted.

“Lavender?” She probed. “What is going on?”

“Keep reading.” She mumbled. “You’ll see, just keep reading.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, her gaze sorrowful.

The witch looked back down at the book and went back to reading. “The child shall be born of soulless soulmates. Lost in darkness, two empty halves will be bound to destroy one another once the chosen child is lost to the prince of Hell.” She read, stopping abruptly once the sentence had passed her lips.

A look of realization crossed both Jughead and Lily’s faces as they looked at the demon. Nothing was said for several minutes. The silence was heavy and foreboding.

Lily set the book aside and stood. She approached the demon and crouched down to her level. “We can change this.” She said, “Prophecy is not written in stone. It’s more of a warning of consequence. We’ve already changed the course by getting Pea his soul back. Once we have yours, then the outcome written will be wrong.”

“And, if we keep the baby from getting taken to Hell, then that’ll change too.” Jughead added, trying to help ease the worry.

“I don’t care about my own destruction, that’s more than what I deserve.” Lavender said, her voice soft. “That is not the part bothering me.”

Lily glanced at Jughead before sighing. “He has his soul back now, things will be different. I won’t say that he won’t hurt you again because...he’s an asshole even with a soul. But he won’t do it on purpose. Just give him a chance.”

Lavender huffed, crossing her arms. “Why should I? Do you have any idea how much he’s antagonized me since that night?”

Lily reached out and brushed her hair out of her face. “Yes. I do. This is the man that cheated on me days after I gave birth to his daughter. I understand completely.”

“And that’s another thing! As soon as I have our child he’ll just be out putting his dick in who knows!” Lavender said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I don’t want to be a notch on his stupid bedpost.”

“Couchpost. He doesn’t have a bed.” Jughead said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Both women shot him a glare and he quickly shut up.

“He did that to me because we weren’t meant to be. One chance, that’s all I’m asking.” Lily said gently, trying to get her to come to reason. “If you don’t then the world could end and I know you don’t want that.”

At the reminder of the impending apocalypse, Lavender sighed in defeat. “Fine. But there’s still the issue of Myra.”

Lily stood up straight again and grinned, “Don’t worry. As soon as Sweet Pea is back on his feet, then we can tackle solving your little enslavement problem. For now, I’m banishing him to your home until this all blows over.”

“For a white witch, you sure come up with some evil plans” Lav grumbled to her. “Being stuck with him might be worse than hell on Earth.”

A devious look crossed Lily’s face, “just throw up next to him. He won’t be able to stand it and he’ll start puking in solidarity. It’s the perfect way to get back at him. He hates it.”

The demon tried not to laugh, “are you sure you’re a white witch?”

“Trust me, I’m sure.” Lily stretched her arms above her head, cracking several vertebrae in her back. “So, who wants to tell him?”

“Is he actually awake?” Lavender asked, looking back at the doorway to the darkened room.

Lily smiled knowingly, “Yes. He’s being a baby and won’t get out of bed. But I’m about to kick him out so he’s going to have to leave sometime.”

Lavender groaned as she stood up from the floor. “You tell him. He’ll just call me a whore or something along those lines and yell until I leave.”

Lily rolled her eyes as she walked into the bedroom and flicked the light on, earning herself a hiss of anger from Sweet Pea. “Get up, we need money and you’re done laying in bed.”

Sweet Pea opened his eyes to look at her, Daisy playing on the bed next to him with the same doll as before. This time she was making it kiss her stuffed cat, much to both Lily and Lav’s amusement.

“And by the way,” Lily added, turning to walk out of the room, “I’m kicking you out. You have a week.”

“You’re what?!” He shouted as both women left the room, only one stealing a glance back at him before disappearing from view..

Tag List: @the-gargoyle-queen, @lilhemmo, @wayward-river, @southside-vixen, @princesweetpea, @redhairdontcare732 (comment/ask/message if you want to be added or subscribe to AO3)

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oceansborn-blog · 6 years ago

Text

intros: next gen verse, pt. 1

ALICE LONGBOTTOM: seventh year, hufflepuff, head student, halfblood, cis female, she/ her. fc: milena tscharntke. pinterest.

Mum Friend™

alice is like... very nurturing, honestly. she likes to be there for people and take care of them -- they come first, in her mind, and she comes second. definitely considers most people around her more important than herself -- she doesn’t have a bad self-confidence, really, but putting herself first isn’t something she’d think of?

even from first year she’d be the kid others could come to if they couldn’t sleep and she’d make them some tea and stay up with them

favourite subjects are care of magical creatures & herbology -- just loves everything about nature and all the creatures in it

her room at home is full of plants & she joined the herbology club at hogwarts as soon as she could so she could help out in the greenhouses; makes her feel like home and less homesick, though having her siblings and parents at hogwarts now definitely helps

her tag is ‘steady flame’ which i tend to think pretty suitable for her -- she’s not a bright, roaring wildfire or anyone that sticks out particularly much, but she’s steady in her light and her love and she’s always there to provide some comfort

always tries her hardest in her classes but if she has to help a friend out that takes precedence -- she cares about her grades but not as much as helping people, so if she needs to skip out on revising more for a test to comfort a friend, she will

takes her prefect responsibilities quite seriously and now her head student ones, but isn’t a stickler for the rules in the sense that she always tries to understand the reason behind why a student got in trouble and if exceptions should be made

her biggest passion is dragons and they have been her favourite animal since she was a kid her heart just !!!! soars when she thinks of them

her dream job is to be a dragonologist but she hasn’t really... committed to it because she’s like... afraid of leaving home? she doesn’t want to be somewhere else if people need her? in a way ig she considers herself a bit more important than she is -- people will be fine if she moves elsewhere, the world will not fall apart, people will be happy for her -- but simultaneously she’s afraid to leave if like. nothing changes when she’s gone? and she’s not as important and necessary here as she thought? idk she has Conflicted emotions so her solution rn is just to let that dream remain just a dream

hopefully she’ll get her act together and go for it one day

but rn she’s considering a herbologist career instead even tho her heart is yelling at her to work with dragons

AISLINN FINNIGAN-THOMAS: seventh year, hufflepuff, vampire, cis female, she/ her. fc: inbar lavi. pinterest.

bde: big dumbass energy

chaotic horny

kind of spoiled in the sense that she has both her dads wrapped around her little finger and kind of... charms her way into avoiding punishment?

gets away with a lot of shit she shouldn’t and has since she was a kid

maybe that’s why she’s such a disaster now! whom knows

was sorted into hufflepuff not so much because she admires or embodies the traits, necessarily, but because hufflepuff takes the rest and she really couldn’t fit anywhere else

she’s really just here to have a good time and wants to accomplish that in any way possible

she’s really... not interested in anything that doesn’t involve having fun. schoolwork? serious matters? will gladly ignore!

she Loves her friends and family but might not be the best person to always turn to for emotional support? or ever gfhsjd. her strategy for anything painful is ignore, ignore, ignore! and that tends to be her advice to others. she’s for sure nice to turn to if you want to distract yourself and do something fun, but in terms of actually discussing things and trying to process them? really not the right gal

‘mate, am genuinely jus here for a laff x’ in a person

gets into A Lot of stupid and reckless and dangerous situations just because she’s a person who tends to follow any half-rotten idea she gets. could be seen as brave, i suppose, since she’s not really scared of much --- but it’s more because she doesn’t think about it or linger on what consequences could come long enough to actually get scared

really doesn’t have an ambitious bone in her body. she’s never been one to even plan a week ahead but just lives her life a day at a time. teachers might try to get her to settle on a career and plan for it but she’ll just say a goal and by the next meeting drop another random career that she has no intention of trying for. probably drives them up the wall

does just well enough to scrape by in her classes so her parents can’t complain but no more than that

makes a lot of bad decisions, especially if she’s drunk

key example: deciding that knockturn alley seemed like a good place for a hookup and went there late at night, alone, and drunk as hell

did not find a hookup, but a vampire found her

woke up the next day feeling like absolute shite and with a very obvious bite that aislinn in true dumbass fashion thought was the ugliest hickey in the world

really hasn’t.... processed being a vampire? she’s like eh! can be ignored! i’m not emotionally and spiritually a vampire which is all that matters!

insists on still doing stuff she can no longer do, like eat a shit ton of garlic bread and lie out in the sun when she’s fucking nocturnal now

she’s quite sweet but her disaster energy brings a lot of stress to the logical people in her life

ISABELLA POTTER: fifth year, ravenclaw, disaster, halfblood, cis female, she/ her. fc: lana condor. pinterest.

she’s like the really trashy love child of leslie knope and ben wyatt?? mostly their bad sides lmao??? she too would be referred to as a human disaster on national tv

she’s a descendant of the part of the potter family that moved to america ages ago, so until she transferred to hogwarts in her fourth year she didn’t know the other potters?? like obviously she knew of them what with harry saving the wizarding world and all, but they hadn’t met each other before. she’s an only child with no close cousins so like meeting the potters and the huge fam that comes with them was kind of like ………………… wait what for her and she’s still like??? doubt we’re actually related sorry can’t live up to you all

but yeah it was just her & her parents growing up and she was quite close to them when she was younger, but her dad is a politician ( now the president of the magical congress of the us ) and her mother is a healer, and they’re both just really ambitious, hardworking people so they didn’t have a lot of time to dedicate to their home life?? and when isa went off to boarding school they drifted further apart, so at this point they honestly don’t know each other that well?? and tbh they’re not bad parents per say, if you don’t count how focused on their careers they are rather than supporting her, it’s just that they’re both so focused and confident i don’t think they ever consider that isa might,,, not be?? and she really, really isn’t.

her self-worth is so low and confidence is basically nonexistent, and when she’s nervous or struggling a lot with anxiety she tends to ramble a lot, which her parents just interpreted as her being talkative rather than there being an underlying reason for it, and basically there was just… a lot of misunderstanding between them? like isa still loves them, but whenever she was home she just didn’t feel good, and she hates herself for it because they are good people, but she just doesn’t know how to change that??

somehow did not end up nearly as charismatic or smart or anything as her parents tho and is just a mess™ so she mostly introduces herself only with her first name and tries to like not think of the fact that that her dad held such an important position bc she doesn’t want to bring more embarrassment to the family than she already has lmao

she really wants to make her parents proud and everything and tries to behave properly she’s just ??? failing epically. always finds a way to embarrass herself and put her foot in her mouth and once it happens her pride kicks in and she just makes it worse and worse because she can’t just admit that she did something wrong so she just continues to dig her own grave like every second conversation it’s amusing to watch but she’s just a tragic mess

with her father being the president and her mother out there literally saving lives she was like i gotta do something good with mine!!! she doesn't see becoming an author as good enough in comparison, so she's gonna study to become a healer like her mom after she graduates but like,,, it’s so not the right career choice for her, she'll probably would dropp up halfway through training

when anything remotely bad happens she’s like this is THE worst thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life and i cannot show my face ever again so basically,,, the ppl in her life are probably used to her Dramatic self by now. tho i guess now that there is an actual apocalypse going on, everything sort of is the worst thing that’s ever happened in her life?? anyways

when it comes down to it isa is just a mess™ who just. gets into embarrassing situations Constantly because she never shuts up. she is often awkward and anxious and always puts her foot in her mouth and once that happens her pride kicks in and she just makes it worse and worse because she just can’t admit that she did something wrong so she just continues to dig her own grave like every second conversation. amusing to watch but a terror for herself she’s just a tragic mess who Cannot shut up for two seconds

her mouth just runs on it’s own and her brain struggles to keep up so she just says weird shit sometimes

it is honestly a surprise she hasn’t run off to live in the woods and write trashy romance novels yet

that’s genuinely a thought she has daily djhasg she loves her family so much so she wouldn’t but like. she thinks she should not be allowed to talk with other people because she Will fuck it up and she’s proven that again and again

lowkey terrified of actually falling in love despite how often she gushes about it and just runs away at the thought. quite literally. she will ramble and then run as fast as she can she’s gotta GO

VERA WOOD-KRUM: fifth year, gryffindor, broom racing mess, halfblood, cis female, she/ her. fc: brittany o’grady.

vera is entirely her fathers’ daughter and that becomes clear to everyone who has heard of them like .5 seconds after meeting her

she is Loud and she Will Not be stopped!!

so yeah she’s the daughter of viktor and oliver, and at this point they’re even more iconic than they were when they were younger tbh. even their ‘love story’ is pretty famous around the wizarding world, their rivals-to-eventual-friends-to-lovers story touching many, not to mention being one of the first openly gay couples in the quidditch sphere

vera will always argue they’re the most iconic couple at the very least in the quidditch world but also probably in the wizarding world but lbr she is Biased

she has three siblings, a younger brother named max who is... probably in his second year at this point i wanna say, and two older siblings, katya & alex, who are a bit closer in age to her. oliver and viktor used surrogate mothers and mixed sperm and have their kids, and yeah long story short vera is fiercely loyal to her family and would highkey die for them. 10/10 always ready to fight for them if someone talks shit

very grateful for her family and her happy upbringing and they mean more to her than anything in the world

obviously comes from a very quidditch centred family, and tho neither of her parents would force their kids into any career, they did have her join a little league quidditch team as a kid to encourage a healthy lifestyle and bc it’s their favourite sport in the world lbr. vera started out as a chaser but the coach decided to switch her position to seeker because he thought it would be a more suitable position --- which it definitely was, only more so than intended. her time in the little league quidditch team made her realise her intense love for broom racing, and she quickly lost interest in the actual game, racing off the pitch before quickly crashing and being brought back by the coaches fgjgdsfjhs

has been set on becoming a professional broom racer since she was a kid, basically, and is as obsessed with that as oliver is with quidditch --- if not more. like father, like daughter fjhsdgfhjs

basically all her birthday and christmas wishes since then has been related to it, whether for broom polish or workout clothes or books on the matter, even sometimes wishing from brooms when a new version was released

always makes sure to keep up with the latest news regarding anything from brooms to quidditch

anytime one of her fathers went to diagon alley, she would hound them into bringing her so she could hang out in broomstix, overtime annoying the old owner into liking her LMAO, becoming something like the granddaughter he never had

she worked there over summer and helps out a bit now during christmas break as well

but yeah vera was sorted into gryffindor like .2 seconds after the sorting hat touched her head HFJSDGFJS she was so far from a headstall it’s ridiculous

she takes after oliver a lot which i think is one of the first things ( and sometimes only if they don’t get to know her ) people notice about her --- she’s vivacious and loud and dramatic and incredibly competitive and is absolutely ridiculous, most of the time, especially when it comes for the lengths she’ll go to when it comes to broom racing. but she holds viktor’s kindness and loving nature at her core and she has quite a fixed

definitely wouldn’t be wrong to call her a daredevil, one of the things she loves about broom racing is flying around obstacles and how wrong it can go if she’s not good enough gjhdsgfj

has been in and out of both the hospital wing and st. mungo’s many, many times for a sixteen-year-old

her whole family is very supportive of her dreams which she is So grateful for, partly because they just want to see her succeed and be happy but also to reduce the amount of injuries she gets hsdhjfgs viktor especially trains her a lot with his seeker experience in mind, a role which her older siblings took on when she started hogwarts

that said, the wood-krum siblings are just as likely to encourage each other to get into trouble as to help each other so she ends up in trouble a lot hjsdghfj she Loves it tho all the professors probably think she is a pain in the ass, albeit a charming one

vera always tries to get around hogwarts by broomstick or longboard so like. rip in peace to the rest of hogwarts’ inhabitants bc the amount of detentions she gets doesn’t face her, she is set in her ways

#( verse: next gen. )#( intros. )#i genuinely just #copy pasted two of these LMAO #i was gonna do more but i figured maybe it's easier to spread them out in several posts

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shardclan · 6 years ago

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Fog blanketed Horizon’s Landing. The cold had yielded to a potent warm front carried on the Vortex winds. Drips and trickles of the early spring thaw were as muffled echoes in silence that not even the birds dared part it. A cold rain fell, so fine that it was practically mist floating on the breeze.

Invigilavi stood stone still, peering at the hulking gray shadow of the obscured mountain. It was the middle of the day and he couldn’t hear anything or any one.

His arms throbbed faintly. The whispering babble of running water faded. The shadow of the mountain blurred and moved, and opened four vast eyes. Stars appeared one by one around its twin heads.

Lavi clenched his fists. If it had been anyone else, it would have been easy to assume this was a horrific vision of an emperor. But he recognized this feeling.

Abankhit.

Each eye winked in and out independent of the others, and with a rumble, the mountain was merely a mountain again. The trickle of rain and melted snow resumed. The throb in Lavi’s arms subsided.

It wasn’t time yet.

“Lavi…?”

He whirled, but it was only Ashlesha. He was clutching his robes closed over his chest. Their moon-bright lengths were dull and limp, as was the mischievous light usually present in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” Lavi asked fretfully. He pressed his palm instinctively against Ashlesha’s forehead, but he couldn’t feel anything. He told himself it was because of the gloves. “You look awful.”

Ashlesha closed his eyes, and leaned into Lavi’s palm. It would have been easy to mistake it for his usual affections, if he had not started to cry.

Lavi’s spines stood. “Ashlesha?!”

“I’m okay…” he sighed unconvincingly. He curled his arms around Lavi’s wrists, pressing them closer even though it only seemed to make him cry more insistently.

Lavi’s fins twisted. Ashlesha was given to high emotion, but he had never cried before. The closest he came were occasional moods on the edge of bad dreams, where he was lonesome and needy but refused to say why. Even then, it had never left him as destroyed as he looked now.

Lavi pulled Ashlesha in and picked him easily up off the ground. Perhaps his recent talk with Azricai had softened his state of mind, but he found it hard to keep Ashlesha at a distance when he was so distraught.

“You don’t have to,” Ashlesha sniveled.

“I know,” Lavi answered matter-of-factly, and made for his private den.

Lavi didn’t give any further explanation, and Ashlesha relented. In spite of his weak protest, he leaned his head gratefully against Lavi’s shoulder. The whole way his fingers clutched at the warmth of Lavi’s mantle, his breath hitching in intervals.

When Lavi finally got them out of the spitting rain and tried to set him down, he clutched tighter. “Please, don’t… Don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t,” Lavi assured. He’d wanted to start a fire, but he settled for lighting the starsap lamps and sat with Ashlesha in the flickering blue light.

“Are we alone…?” Ashlesha whispered.

“Yeah. No one knows I’m back yet. Just you and me.”

Ashlesha sniffed, and slowly sat up. He rubbed his face ferociously, but he still wouldn’t look at Lavi. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s the most…sympathetic thing I think you’ve ever done.”

“No I don’t–I don’t mean for crying.” He drew his feet in. “I lied to you. I’m not human. Not completely.”

“…Would it hurt you to know I’m not really surprised?”

“Faded?” Ashlesha guessed.

“Yeah. The exact words they gave me were that I would meet a liar.”

Ashlesha laughed tiredly, but not without humor. “That bitch… Just so you know, I didn’t lie to you to cause trouble, Invigilavi. I just…didn’t want to deal with the truth.”

He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “But now I have to.”

“Why? What happened while I was gone?”

Ashlesha didn’t answer. For several moments, the only sound was their breath and the trickle of water over the mountain.

“I am part human…” he began unsteadily. “I began as a human. A long time ago.” He rubbed at his hair. “I’m sorry, I haven’t explained this to anyone in so long, and you’re not human yourself…”

“Take your time. I have nowhere to be.”

“I don’t want to take my time. I don’t want to deal with this. But when you told me about the Xannites…” He lapsed into silence again. His voice was nearly a caricature of casual apathy when he continued:

“I was human once. I died. I was human again. I died. If I reproduced, I became my offspring. If I didn’t, I woke up in some other body of some tangentially related baby. And I can recall every single detail of every life I’ve lived.”

“Like this one time–there was a genocide. Massive, very successful. I died seventeen different times–about half were suicides. And finally…I ran out of relations. I woke up again on the other side of the world. All my hopes it was some kind of bloodline curse ended there.“

"I wasn’t too keen on dying a lot after that–that’s when I started learning magic. I wanted to live forever on my own terms. Some…less than pleasant things happened as a result, and to make a long story short, I had a kid with one of the sidhe. When I say I’m not human, I really only mean I’m a halfling with Unseelie blood in me. Aside from that and the magic I’m your run of the mill human… You know, aside from having an unbroken string of consciousness dating back to the first humans.”

Lavi fidgeted. He had not bargained for this, and desperately clung to the only thread that gave him any context. “Do the Xannites have something to do with you?”

Ashlesha turned. His tear-streaked face was a harsh contrast to the contempt in his eyes. “How much Xannites really know about the Auditor?”

“Not much more than I’ve told you. They say she’s an old earth dragon. One of the Firstborn, maybe.”

Ashlesha shook his head, his laughter coming out like acid. “Oh no, Lavi. They are wrong. The Auditor is not a dragon, and she never was. It’s just something she takes the form of, no different than Faded or Qualia or that other Outsider that neighbors Aphaster City.”

His laughter dried up. His tears did too, and he sank down against Lavi’s thigh. “The Auditor was my friend once. My love too, for awhile. She would spend days, sometimes weeks in my memory. Just…removing things. Things I didn’t want to remember. Things that were dangerous for me to remember. It was the only relief I ever got–the only way I ever got to forget anything.”

“But now…?”

“Now she helps the Xannites with their obscene cause. A living library. Memory upon memory, stacking on forever.” He shuddered and covered his face with the sleeve of his robe. “It makes me sick!”

“Maybe she didn’t want you to be alone.”

The robe flared to life, and Lavi felt an immense pressure move in on him only to slip sideways and crack the stone walls.

Ashlesha’s eyes were bright and stormy, and he was clutching himself so tightly that blood spilled from under his fingernails.

“Please don’t ever say that again.” Lavi had heard that tone before. Despite the undercurrent of pleading in Ashlesha’s voice, it was not a question.

“I hate myself, Lavi, and the Auditor knows that. I didn’t choose sleep on some whim; it’s the closest I can come to dying. I am so, so tired of existing, and I would never wish this on anyone. If Faded hadn’t assured me that every new Xannite is a completely new person carrying around their ancestor’s memories, I would have killed them all before you got back, and then I would have killed myself.”

“Okay…” Lavi whispered breathlessly. “I’m sorry.”

Just as quick as it had come on, the wave of temper subsided. The robes went limp, and Ashlesha wrapped himself tight inside them. The wounds in his arms closed up, leaving only pressure marks and blood behind.

Lavi glanced aside at the fissure in the wall. He had truly touched on something he shouldn’t have, and again he felt distinctly under-qualified to be ordering Ashlesha around. But those flippant, selfish behaviors did make sense now. Why would someone who had been alive for so long, even if it was in varying bodies, want to think about anything? He did whatever crossed his mind not because he was powerful, but because… Well, what else was there? Katasomata had been almost insane with the with weight of Sornieth’s tragedies because she could fathom them all as if they were new. Ashlesha had lived through them all with no reprieve, and while he couldn’t forget, he clearly had the ability to put things out of his mind. He could go numb.

After living so long, wouldn’t the only thing in the way of permanent numbness be the little joys of pursuing whim?

“I’m sorry,” Ashelsha whimpered. “I didn’t want to show you that side of me…”

Lavi shifted his jaw. Something still bothered him. Something key that Ashlesha had not explained. “Can I ask a question…?”

“Anything!” Ashlesha blurted almost desperately.

“Why are you so…enamored with me? Does it have something to do with all of this?”

Ashlesha’s eyes widened. “I don’t know…” His eyes watered with fresh tears. For the first time since Lavi returned, he smiled. “I don’t know at all!”

“Then why me?”

“I don’t know! I’m drawn to you. From the moment I looked at you, it felt like I was finally somewhere I could forget everything else. It’s maddening how much I want to be at your side.”

Lavi blushed. He had been avoiding the question for a long time, but if Ashlesha was in a truth-telling mood, he’d thought there was no better time. But it really was as simple and baseless as it seemed.

He nearly jumped out of his scales when Ashlesha threw his arms around his neck, and nestled back into his shoulder.

“I missed you, Lavi.”

“If I can intrude on your good mood and take a few steps back…” he wheezed, pushing Ashlesha back to a comfortable distance. “What about the Auditor? What about House Xanna?”

Ashlesha stiffened. Tired lines bred rapidly under his eyes, and a familiar expression of weary agony made it’s home in his eyes. Ashlesha looked how Lavi had felt when he told Azricai to keep his secret–even from Arcanus.

“I won’t hurt any of the Xannites,” he pledged. “But the Auditor and I have personal business. …Will you hate me for it?”

Lavi cracked a small, peaceable smile. Finally, an easy question, with an easy answer. “According to Analemma law, if you kill her it will count as Execution of Personal Grudge. The Xannites may not be too happy about it, but once all this Imperator business is over, I am going to be the clan’s Head Barrister. If you tell me more about it, I’d be happy to defend you.”

Ashlesha pouted. “That’s a terribly unromantic answer.”

“I’m not a romantic drake, and you know it.”

“Fine… Just sit with me awhile, please?” He sagged into Lavi’s stomach without hearing the answer, the distress of the past few days finally taking their toll. His breath started to slow, and he sighed. “I finally feel okay again.

The words ‘I have a report to write’ sped to the tip of Lavi’s tongue and crashed one into the other. Ashlesha had been honest. At great personal cost, too. It was easy to fall back into the routine of being at odds with him, but he was vulnerable right now. Besides, Lavi was tired. The day had been too full, and Ashlesha was warm in a way that even penetrated into his arms. They were full of a blooming sensation as blissful as if he were soaking them in a hot bath. A few hours couldn’t hurt, he thought.

Both slept the whole night through.

#Flight Rising #In which Ashlesha tells the truth and it involves a lot of self-hate #C: Lavi #C: Ashlesha #tw: suicide mention #zodiac goetia

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icharchivist · 6 years ago

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DGM: It's pretty fascinating how the main 4 relate to Death. For all of them it's both simple yet very complex (honestly I wouldn't have room for maybe even one of them). Kanda protects people as best as he can but when they die he moves on very fast accepting that's part of the world he lives in. The only exception is his 'that person' who he refuses to believe is dead despite the possibility of it being so likely. And then it becomes Alma. Ouch. But again Alma dies and Kanda accepts that-

2 being happy things are made right between them before Alma goes and not letting Alma's burden him. In fact he's pushed forward by the restored bond and honest. Out of gratitude, his way of freeing Allen fro m the 14th is death if it comes to that. Kanda making it his priority in fact to be the one to kill Nea for Allen's sake. Alma got to die as himself. So will Allen. Lenalee is the strangest in some ways. She cares so much about her people she feels a part of her world gets destroyed if one-

3 person dies. She's kind of like Kanda though in that she can also move on really fast. She'll feel sad but not broken. Ex, Everyone thought all of the trapped Order members died during the Invasion when the L4 woke up. After Allen and Lenalee found out they survived, Allen broke down sobbing. Lenalee clapped her hands and smiled. 1 reaction seems bigger then the other. Not to say Lenalee can't be broken. Losing Allen nearly sent her comatose. She'd lose her mind if anything happened to Komui-

4 I think like Kanda, Lenalee has just seen so much death she just has to keep moving on fast like that. She's way more openly emotional about it but that sense of acceptance vs unacceptance is always inside her. I feel like Allen and Komui are the 2 people she cannonly can't accept death from because she relies on them too much (contrast to,her thinking Allen died to thinking Kanda died. Its not that she cares less at all but they both have different roles in her life). Lenalee can accept -

5 death and properly mourn a person she loved. But she is terrified of people she loves dying. Dying is more of a trigger death itself. Also let it be known she's ruthless. The only other Exorcist besides her to kill a Third was Sokaro (who implied he had to jump in and do it because Krory couldn't bare to). She hated to do it. But she did it (I don't think I did her justice but lets move on). Lavi. Wow Lavi he's someone who hates death. Like more then anyone. At least he's among the worst -

6 at coping with it. He spent most of his life watching humans massacre each other causing his hatred of humanity to blossom. Then his first real friend (Dug) died and his body became a akuma, forcing Lavi to kill it. But that only enforced Lavi's detached outlook on life. Ink was Ink. For whatever reason, Allen became the first real death he couldn't walk away from. There was actually a lot of things about it that have impacted Lavi's security. 1) Allen showed good humans like him existed -

7 and died unfairly. Things got darker. 2) for the first time Lavi suffered guilt and helplessness. He could have killed the akuma that made off w/Allen but failed. This was probably a 1st for him that a person he liked died (in his view) because he wasn't good enough. 3) it's pretty much canon every time someone he cares for dies Lavi gets triggered remembering the night Allen died. That night symbolized Lavi's humanity and he hates how much it hurts. Death is such a deep issue for Lavi. -

7 Death of himself is scary. But was prepared to kill 'Lavi' the mask if it interfered w/his goals. He was prepared to die to save Allen and Lenalee and beat Road. Death is natural. But humans killing humans is unsettling. Despite being so logical, being helpless to save his friends can make him illogical. All the pent up rage, hatred, despair and loneliness (and I believe a part of Lavi is very lonely) rush forward to the surface. He can become the most revenge driven and will settle things-

8 with death as the answer for the target if he lost something precious enough. Death is Lavi's worst trigger. It reminds him of how powerless and insignificant his own humanity is, no matter how above it he tries to be. In that way he can contrast Kanda who can find strength from death while Lavi finds only weakness. I thought I was going to yak about Allen. But Allen is Waaaay too much. I couldn't even death the surface w/o running out if room. But yeah their dynamic w/death is interesting.

This is fascinating and thank you so much for putting it into words and into my inbox!

I think you’re spot on on everyone and i don’t really know what to add, and going onto Allen would be... boy where to even start, the guy’s story had been kickstarted by the death of his father and the guilt he felt toward it and the whole “i cannot mourn or the Earl will find me”.

In a way, I think all of this adding up makes a really neat tie in with the fact the enemy, the Earl, is weaponizing Death to start with. As in, the Noah don’t just spread death, they use people who died and the grief that comes from it in order to further harm people. Perhaps that’s why the two who were raised inside the Order have a better ability to at least handle it and move on? Because they really have been sent on battlefields when they were children with that very specific mindset and threat of the Earl anytime.

which makes me think, Lenalee especially reacted badly for Allen’s death for the same reason Lavi did: she felt guilty about it. she told him they needed to save Suman, she left him alone to save the little girl, and when Lavi yells at her about “there’s nothing we could have done” we see both the Lavi scene you mention showing he feels guitly the Akuma took Allen away leading him to his death, and Lenalee’s flashback of her moments with Allen. So it’s possible that the guilt that settled after Suman might haunt her for ever about Allen, especially with how much he gives her strength, while for Kanda for exemple, she grew up with him and they probably had a whole “we can die in battle anytime” mentality growing up that she might not have projected on Allen yet. Basically what i’m saying is that she had her whole life to come to term with the fact Kanda might not come back from a battlefield. But for Allen it was barely a couple of months and the guilt that sank in making it all the more difficult.

Anyway back to my point, Lenalee and Kanda specifically having grown up in a war where grief was your greatest enemy’s strength, and who have both been child soldiers with a lot of loss to witness everytime (Lavi meets Lenalee while she’s crying over losses of a newest battle for exemple), so they have to find a way to move on and get used to it somehow. Both however refused to give up on their humanity while doing so: I suspect because both were holding onto the war for very personal feelings reason: Kanda to find That Person, and Lenalee so Komui’s sacrifice of joining the Order for her wouldn’t be in vain.

Thus they have the distachement necessary from growing up in this state, but the emotional attachement needed to not lose completely their sense of humanity- in a way they find a way to ground themselves in the life they have to keep moving on into. It was their way to not let grief find them.

In opposition, even if Allen grew up always knowing of the Earl and after the Mana incident, of Akuma and such, Allen hadn’t grown up in the war. We know Cross rejected the Order’s orders and Allen was more concerned most of the time with the casual nightmare Cross’s life brought up. So Allen’s relationship with grief is one he had to deal with on a personal level (a bit like Kanda regarding Alma, while Kanda did manage to move on more than Allen, there are a lot of things that ties him back to the memories of Alma - it’s just that Kanda could move on by thinking of another alive person while Allen lives on for a memory. The irony is that Kanda’s “alive person” was Alma and now he’s dead, and that Allen lives for a memory of a dead person who is alive and is actually his enemy now. Oops.)

In a way Allen didn’t have to go back into thinking about the casulties of war to such a degree, he didn’t grow up on the battlefield, in a way he was more sheltered than litteral child soldiers who could be sent anywhere anytime. I think it’s interesting too that we’ve seen how Allen’s direct grief after Mana’s death affected him when you can compare to Kanda’s direct grief after Alma’s death for exemple. Allen had the time to freak out, to be a mess, the few flashbacks we have of directly after Mana’s death show that for all the terrible parenting Cross had done he actually gave all the time Allen needed to recover with his freak outs. But with Kanda after having to kill Alma, we don’t have much except that he had to immediatly be on the run with Marie until they could find Tiedoll.And I seriously doubt Kanda would have ever shown the amount of distress Allen had shown afterward - because Kanda was already daily tortured and a product of the war by that point while Allen barely knew about the war at all.

When Allen the dog dies Allen is frustrated that Mana doesn’t show grief. He considers it abnormal. Which now that I think about it can mirror a lot how Kanda thought it wasn’t normal Alma kept on smiling after all the tortures they endured together and that’s why they fought a lot before realizing how much they just coped differently with the same event.

... I lost my point wait.

Anyway yeah so, the thing is, Mana did mention the Earl multiple times before but Allen always thought it was just something weird, and the “I can’t grief or the Earl will find me” thing was something Mana kept repeating but Allen didn’t get until the Earl actually found him. Allen paid the high price from not handling his grief and had since then forced himself to move on as quickly as possible without processing the grief because he’s traumatized by the event. In a way, both Kanda and Lenalee knew enough about the Earl to find another way to process death, and they have seen much more deaths than Allen has during his training with Cross one would assume, so they developped others coping mechanisms where Allen could just focus on the one he inherited from Mana. (and there is also a lot to say about how he is just repeating the same thing Mana used to say - Allen coped by copying Mana in every way after all. Kanda and Lenalee’s rolemodels are unlikely to be the dead person they would have had to kill and grief. Lenalee doesn’t have such a person in her life that we know of and Kanda didn’t take Alma as a rolemodel. So it’s already another aspect of how to relate to death).

Which brings us to Lavi and you’re entierely right about everything, i’m just adding: since Lavi have grown up wars after wars, it was indeed easier for him to deshumanize everyone around him in order to not feel attached. There’s no grief to process when you don’t have the attachement to the people who are dying. Which is already something that opposes the others three who all have clear people they care about so they risk grief, so they have to find a way around it. Lavi tried to protect himself from grief by not caring enough to have any reasons to, which was doomed to fall back against him because he couldn’t just not care for people.

Which now make me think specifically since when did Lavi know about the Earl and the Holy War? After all considering Bookman was on the Noah’s side 40 years ago there’s no way he wouldn’t know that grieving is a major risk in general. Which could add to why the non emotion rule even exist within the Bookmen. I doubt something that huge, that dangerous, wouldn’t be mentioned to a child who is doomed to see grief after grief. But it feels like they took it by the wrong end.

I think it’s that, with Lavi being an observer rather than a soldier, it was far easier to distach himself than for Kanda or Lenalee. Kanda and Lenalee by being on the field are always aware of how the rest of the people may be hurt in a mission. It’s more than likely that at some point, when they were young, some finders may have died because they weren’t quick enough, or died protecting them specifically because they can’t afford losing exorcists. It seems a given. So Kanda and Lenalee specifically has to deal with the fact people can die because of/for them. Lavi (and Allen on that regard) doesn’t. Because he’s not supposed to be on the battlefield enough to develop this sort of thing. So Kanda and Lenalee were in situation where the loss of people they couldn’t save were directly on their conscience and they had to find ways to deal with it. Lavi doesn’t have any reasons to have had this sort of dynamic with anyone on the battlefields he had been into.

and it’s not even mentioning that for Kanda and Lenalee, they grew up in the Order so they know the others soldiers to some degree and know why the soldiers sign up/are forced to join. They know the ultimate goal and had grown used to it.

Lavi meanwhile had seen 49 wars, before the Holy War, he seems he stayed 4 months on each wars’s battlefield. No time to get used to people and to their motivations. so the easier to make it (”humans just like to destroy each other”) the less likely you torture yourself over what those conflicts bring. Which is signifiant that it’s the war he’s been into now for 4 years in canon that is now weighing on him and makes him unable to not face his grief. Except that it’s the very war where giving in to grief isn’t an option.

And I would be really curious about if Lavi grew up with the back on his mind that grief and the Earl was an issue, because therefore just like Allen there would be a deliberate choice tonot let grief get to you, without Lenalee and Kanda’s being forced to see too much grief in order to process it.

... okay for someone who doesnt know what to add i added a lot kjdhfdkjf

But my point, the reason why i ended up developping that while you’ve been perfectly spot on and i feel like i’m just repeating your points, is specifically how relevent it is that the 4 main characters have very specific ways to deal with Grief and Death, while the main villain is constantly weaponizing both Grief and Death. So there is this whole thing too about the degree of awareness about the Earl, and how much the characters had been subjected to grief in order to find their way to cope with it to keep the Earl at bay.

And I think it’s really, really fascinating that they all have their very distinct way to deal with it with different reasons each, and it’s arguably very ironic that Lavi, who’s the one who’s the most distached from the war where grieving is your enemy, that is the one who has never learned to grief properly. Evenmore so when you can argue that all the people who almost died near Lavi enough to push him to complete panic were all people who had been specifically aware of all of that, who all dealt with grief to some extend (Lenalee specifically pushed herself to her limits against Eshii because she still grieved Allen for exemple - Allen’s actions are still shadowed by his grief toward Mana - Even Chomesuke dying add to that considering an Akuma is made of said grief.)

The way Lenalee, Kanda and Allen all deal with grief is super interesting as for what it means to the way they have grown up in the war, and ultimately, the Holy War had been the center of their lives. It never was Lavi’s however, so it is incredible to see how much grief had taken him by surprise and keeps challenging him over and over again, leaving him in complete distress.

The rapport they all have with death is fascinating to me. And it works so so so well with the fact the enemy is specifically using grief as a weapon. It makes such for a strong theme to run through the main characters it’s just. Gahh i’m just repeating myself but i love it.

thank you so much again for the initial ask! this is very spot on on all the characters and it sooo good to read!

#long post for ts #weeee it's just. so much to talk about #ichafantalks dgm #ichameta dgm #Anonymous #ichareply

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errantknightess · 7 years ago

Text

A game for three

Chapter 1/3: Two nerds and a newbie

Pairing: Lavi/Allen/Kanda

Word count: 3,427

Summary: searching for his place at the new school, Allen joins a struggling karuta club -- and soon finds there’s much more for him to learn than just the cards and the game rules

[Read on AO3]

Allen roamed helplessly through the corridors, searching for anything at all to set him on the right track. His lousy sense of direction had thwarted him again. This school was huge, and the two weeks since he transferred hadn’t been nearly enough time to get used to it yet. How ironic, to get lost on his way to see the student advisor. Maybe he should ask him to draw him a map when he finally gets there; that’s one way he could definitely help him assimilate.

He wasn’t too sure which room Komui-sensei said he would be in. He wasn’t even sure he would be there at all. It was pretty late already, and the entire wing seemed dead. Allen strode briskly along the hall, peeking into each and every classroom he passed. All empty, not a soul in sight.

As he rounded the corner, the silence broke, punctured suddenly with a distant thumping sound. Intrigued, Allen decided to follow it; so far, it was the only sign of anyone’s presence. The thumping continued, growing louder the further he went along the corridor. Soon, Allen started to make out other sounds, faint voices and some sort of – singing? It was coming from the last door just next to the staircase, pretty clear now that he stood right in front of it. Puzzled, Allen slid the door open a crack and looked in.

Something whizzed past his head at a dangerous speed and smacked loudly against the window behind him.

“Sorry!” a voice inside the room called. “Can you get that?”

Allen turned around and picked up the deadly projectile. It was a card – fairly big and springy, with a few columns of hiragana printed in a simple font. He turned it in his fingers with interest, so preoccupied that he nearly tripped as he stepped into the classroom. Grasping at the doorframe, he steadied himself quickly and tried not to look too embarrassed under the taxing gaze of the two students watching him from the tatami mat set out on the floor.

“Thanks.” One of them, a guy with an eyepatch and red hair of a delinquent, reached out his hand with a smile. Allen gave him the card and watched that smile grow even wider as he inspected it.

“See, Yuu, I told you! You got it wrong! This is The spring has passed, not If I lay my head. That’s another penalty for you! You’re careless today.”

“Whatever,” the other one snorted, his long dark hair flying as he snapped his head around to glare at Allen. “Hey, you! Be useful and get that one as well.” He pointed at another card laying under a desk by the door, seemingly thrown there with the same force.

“Yuu!” the redhead hissed with a slight panic. “You can’t order people around like that!”

“Then what the hell am I the captain for?” Yuu rolled his eyes and once again fixed them expectantly on Allen. The redhead cringed.

“He’s not even in the club!”

“It’s fine,” Allen minced out politely and bent under the desk to retrieve the card. It looked similar to the first one, but with a different set of lines.

“What withers and falls away in this place is I myself,” he read out loud, his eyebrows rising higher with every word. He looked up from the card, shifting his eyes between them, from the red hair and piercings to the murderous scowl. “… Are you a poetry club?”

“Something like that,” the redhead laughed and leaned towards him, eye glinting with curiosity. “Hey, you’re that transfer student, right? From England? Have you ever heard about karuta?”

“A little bit,” Allen admitted, glancing at the tiles spread out between the two of them. “It’s a card game, isn’t it?”

“It’s a sport,” Yuu growled with emphasis. “For fuck’s sake, we’re a sport club.”

The redhead laughed nervously.

“I know, Yuu, I know.” He turned to Allen again, his smile apologetic. “He’s right, it’s a sport, in the same way go and shogi are, I guess. You can play for fun, too, but it takes some skill to do it at a competitive level. The rules are pretty simple, though! After all, even kids play it, you know. Once you memorize those hundred cards, it’s a breeze. In the end, it all boils down to how quickly you can match the poem being read with the correct ending – not that hard, eh? By the way, we haven’t introduced ourselves yet! You’re a first year, so you go first. What’s your name?”

“Uhh… Allen. Allen Walker,” Allen said, his head reeling a little from this rapid speech.

“Nice to meet you!” The redhead grabbed his hand and shook it with joint-twisting enthusiasm, plucking the card from his fingers while he was at it. “I’m Lavi Bookman, and this grumpy prettyboy here is Kanda Yuu, our esteemed club captain.”

“Shut up, moron.” Kanda turned away, glaring at them with the corner of his eye. “We both know you should be the damn captain.”

“And we both know you need it more, Mr. I-Have-No-Social-Skills-To-Speak-Of-In-My-College-Application.”

“College?” Allen looked at them with surprise. “So you’re third years?”

“He is.” Lavi pointed his thumb at Kanda and lowered his voice to a conspiratory whisper. “I should be. Got held back a grade cause I was travelling abroad last year. Don’t tell anyone.”

“Everyone knows,” Kanda growled. “Now stop clowning around and get back to the game already.”

“Aye, aye, captain!” Lavi saluted and scooted back to his spot, but his eye was still fixed on Allen. “Hey, just a thought. How good are you with reading?”

“I can read, thank you very much,” Allen replied, offended. “I wouldn’t be going to school here if I were illiterate.”

“Relax. I meant loud reading,” Lavi chuckled, waving his hand towards the clunky CD player at his side. “I’m sick of the recordings. Let’s see how you’ll do with these.” He reached over to a nearby box and procured another deck, which he promptly thrust into Allen’s hands.

“What do I do with them?” Allen shuffled through the cards, taking in the colourful pictures and the crisp lines of kana.

“Just read the poems out loud, slowly and clearly. You can stop when either of us takes a card, just finish the line so we know which one it is.” Lavi cracked his knuckles and turned to Kanda with a wide grin. “Come on, Yuu! Let’s show the kid how it’s done!”

Allen cleared his throat and started reading, his voice wobbling uncomfortably. He didn’t even get through the first line when Lavi and Kanda both slammed their hands on the mat and sent the cards flying across the floor.

“It’s mine.” Kanda got up and went to pick up the card that landed the furthest, casting Allen a patronizing look as he passed by. “Speak up, Beansprout, we can barely hear you.”

Allen looked back at him with annoyance and deliberately raised his voice a little too much with the next card. Once again, though, he was cut off by the both of them pounding on the mat just three syllables in.

“Nice one.” Lavi smiled as Kanda took the card off his field and put it to the side. “Your guard is sharp as always, I see.”

“You could put up yours more, too,” Kanda grumbled. “Don’t let me leave you behind, idiot. I know you can do better than this. Stop being lazy!”

“All right, all right,” Lavi laughed, poking at Kanda’s hand as he straightened his cards. “I’ll take the next one, if you insist.”

Allen watched them over his cards, only partly paying attention to what he was reading. There was something mesmerizing in them, in this air of fierce focus shooting sparks between them as they moved, bent low over the mat, faces hovering just inches apart. He barely had any work to do there at all, it went so fast. Their hands cut through his words with the speed and grace of a tiger, taking the cards out one by one until just three remained, all in front of Lavi.

“Thank you for the game.” Kanda bowed deeply, his long hair obscuring his face as he touched his forehead to the mat. Lavi followed suit, though it seemed more like he just banged his head on the floor in frustration.

“I can’t believe you beat me again! Three times in a row! Man, this isn’t my day.”

“It’s never your day,” Kanda shot back, tapping his cards flush into a neat pile.

“You’re just too good.” Lavi sat up with a sigh and turned to Allen, his sour face lighting up immediately. “Nice job on the reading, by the way! Not bad for a beginner at all, I’m surprised. You should work on keeping the rhythm though, your intonation was all over the place. But you have a pleasant voice, even if it cracks a lot, and you breathe with your belly, that’s good.”

“Uhh… Thanks,” Allen said slowly, not sure if he should be more flattered or embarrassed.

“See, this is why you should be the fucking captain.” Kanda measured Lavi with a long glance, waving his hand in frustration. “I can’t do any of this… people shit.”

“Aww, don’t sell yourself so short, Yuu! You’re great at other things!” Lavi wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, rubbing his cheek on top of Kanda’s head. “You’ve got this awesome, intimidating presence, you know! And a strong sense of leadership! And a proper Japanese name, let’s not forget about that. You’re perfect for the job! If I was the captain, no one would ever take us seriously at the tournaments!”

“We don’t go to any tournaments.” Kanda rolled his eyes and swatted half-heartedly at Lavi’s bicep to shake him off. “We can barely keep it up here. You heard what the principal said. Find more people, or we’re out.”

“But now Allen is here, so we’re good, right?” Lavi let go of him, only to throw his arm around Allen’s shoulders instead. “You’re not in any clubs yet, are you? Help us out and join here, how about that?”

“And what will I have out of it?” Allen freed himself from the embrace and looked at them both with a frown.

“Participation points?” Lavi shrugged. “It will look good in your papers. Plus, you’ll get to hang out with two coolest guys in this school,” he added cheerfully, leaning into Kanda once again.

“I don’t know…” Allen scratched the back of his neck, hesitantly eyeing the discarded cards between them. Sure, it looked fun, but could he do that? And was it okay for him to burden his two senpais with his lack of experience? Club activities were for people to have a good time with their friends. The last thing he wanted was to get in the way.

“I’m not really sure this is my thing. Sorry. I need to go.” With a twitching smile, Allen heaved himself up, brushed his pants off and reached for his bag.

“Of course,” Kanda scoffed with a nasty smirk, not even looking at him. “Didn’t expect anything else. At least it’s good that you know when you’re too weak to handle something, Beansprout.”

“Weak?” Allen turned to him in a blink, gritting his teeth. True, he had a similar thought just a moment before – but he couldn’t stand hearing it in this tone, from this guy. “What does weakness have to do with this? It’s a memory game!”

“That just proves how little you know.” Kanda crossed his arms, finally meeting him with a burning gaze. “I’ve told you, it’s not a game. It’s a sport. You need training and technique. Reflex. Stamina. Precision. And clearly, you don’t have any of these.”

“Oh, you think so?” Allen took a step forward and dropped his bag back on the floor, fists clenching. “Challenge accepted. Bring it on, I can show you just how much I’ve got.”

“It’s pointless,” Kanda scoffed. “Waste of time. You don’t even know the poems.”

Allen held his glare, his stomach twisting. Too late to back out now.

“It’s the One Hundred Poets, right? That classical anthology. We’ve discussed them in the literature class recently. I’ll give it a shot.”

“Oi, Allen!” Lavi piped in, his eye wide and shooting between the two of them. “Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into? Yuu is a B class player. He’ll run you into the ground!”

“We’ll see about that.” Allen narrowed his eyes, still piercing Kanda with a furious look. Somewhere deep down, he realized he was on a straight course to disaster, but right then, he didn’t care. If he had to make a fool of himself, he’d rather do it trying than giving up.

“All right, then. Here’s a quick rundown of the rules for you, sprout.” Lavi scooted over to make room for him on the mat. “You get twenty five cards each. The first one to clear all of his is the winner. With me so far?”

Allen nodded, watching him shuffle the deck, cut it in half and in half again.

“Great.” Lavi pushed the two stacks towards them. “Here are your cards. Now, you put them in front of you and memorize the positions. Remember to pay attention to your opponent’s side as well, you’ll be taking his cards too.”

“Like hell he will,” Kanda snorted. “I’ll be damned if he can take even one in the whole match.”

“He might get lucky.” Lavi shrugged with a smirk. “You know sometimes it’s just guesswork and gamble as much as skills.”

Gamble. Allen lit up a bit, hopeful. That, he could do.

He placed his part of the deck in three rows in front of him, mirroring Kanda. The cards felt weird in is hands, thick and heavy and unfamiliar; still, he caught a glimpse of a few verses that rang a bell faintly – or so he thought. Allen glared at them with determination, doing his best to remember their positions and ignore the seething presence in front of him.

“Are you ready?” Lavi looked between them, impatiently fiddling with the reading deck at his side.

“Yes,” they replied in unison. Allen wiped his hands on his pants, anticipation tingling like steel needles on his dry tongue. Across from him, Kanda took a deep breath, his eyebrows knit together as he eyed the cards in front of him.

With a sigh, Lavi took the first card from his pile and brought it slowly to his eye. Allen barely managed to register the first word he read when Kanda already slapped a card out of his field with a force that sent it spinning to the other end of the room. Lavi leaned away just in time, clicking his tongue with reproach.

“Careful, Yuu! Wanna knock my other eye out?”

“Is that what happened to you?” Allen blurted before he could stop himself. Lavi just laughed, following Kanda with a fond gaze as he stood up to pick up the card.

“Nah, but I like telling people that just to mess with them. It’s fun to watch them get all shocked when they learn we’re actually best friends.”

“I can see that,” Allen muttered, just before Kanda returned to his place to hear it.

It went on much like he had seen in the match before. Kanda took the next card too, and the next two after that, lunging on them before Allen could even make a move. It got his blood boiling, his heart pumping faster, raising the pressure until he felt ready to burst. The frustration coursing in his veins made his head light, but his limbs felt lighter too – weightless. Matching Kanda’s swift movements, Allen started throwing himself at the cards with a newfound aggression. He was going in blindly, but it didn’t matter, just as long as he could be quicker than his opponent – just to get the card he was aiming at, just to swipe it right from under his fingers. His hand knocked into Kanda’s more times than he cared to count, always just a second too slow. Lavi’s voice, strong and oddly melodious, rose over the battlefield, a sharp contrast to their violent thuds and cries. Another card, and another – and then Allen finally got this chance. This one, he knew – he had read that line out himself not long ago.

He remembered.

And in a blink, he slammed his hand against the mat so hard it reverberated in his bones, hitting the card right in front of him and sweeping a couple others out along with it.

“Whoa, Allen!” Lavi cut himself off, staring at him with a proud grin. “Your first card! Congrats, man! It feels good, doesn’t it?”

Allen let out a heavy breath and squeezed the card tight in his fingers.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “It does.”

It was not the turning point he was hoping for, though. This one small victory set him on fire, but it was merely a flickering flame compared to the roaring inferno he was faced with. A few more strikes, fast and forceful, and soon enough Kanda was giving him the obligatory bow of the winner, bent over his empty field with a neat stack of cards to his right.

“Don’t worry.” Lavi gave Allen a consoling pat on the shoulder. “You stood no chance against Yuu on your first try. Even I hardly ever get to win against him, and I’ve been playing for over ten years.”

“Wow, really?” Allen blinked at him in amazement and turned to Kanda, his frustration slowly dissipating into grudging respect. “Have you been playing that long, too?”

“More or less.” Kanda shrugged, looking right over his head at Lavi. “So, what do you think?”

“A little rough on the edges, that’s for sure.” Lavi tapped his chin with his finger, shuffling on the floor around Allen to look at him from all sides. “But you’re quick, and looks like you have a pretty good memory. You’d only seen those poems in lit class and when you were reading out loud for us earlier, right?”

“Right.” Allen nodded, fidgeting under their insistent stares. “I guess a few of them stuck.”

“That’s great.” Lavi beamed, turning to Kanda with a shine in his eye. “Maybe he doesn’t know much yet, but he makes up for it with a hell of a fighting spirit. Some practice, and who knows what will come out of it!”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” Kanda flicked him lightly in the forehead before piercing Allen with a steel gaze again. “All right, so maybe you’re not as completely useless as you seem. And hell, we can’t be picky right now, anyway. You sure you don’t want to join?”

Allen hesitated. He thought back to the thrill of the game, the tension coiling up in him, the adrenaline-driven focus that sharpened his senses; and most of all, to the warm wave of satisfaction flooding his chest as he gripped the card taken right from under his opponent’s nose.

It was fun.

“I think I can try,” he decided, looking up at them with a small smile. “If you will have me.”

“Woohoo!” Lavi yelled and grabbed both him and Kanda by the shoulders, pulling them in a painful, awkward group hug. “Welcome to the team! Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you”

“You take care of him,” Kanda growled. “I’m not babysitting a complete newbie.”

“But Yuu! Isn’t that your responsibility? You’re the captain!”

“Yeah, and as your captain, I’m telling you to do that.”

“That’s mean.” Lavi pouted, poking Kanda in the cheek with his finger. “I’ll train him to kick your ass for this, is that what you want?”

“I’m counting on you.” Kanda gave him a punch in the arm, probably a light one by his standards, but it still made Lavi wince.

Allen watched them struggle for a moment, sinking back into the silence of the empty room. It was new to him – people wanting him to join them, to be a part of a team. Was there really something he could help them with? Even if they just took him because they needed members, it would be wrong not to give it his best. He still wasn’t sure if it was really a good idea – but somewhere inside him, the spark had already been lit, and now it was glowing faintly in his chest, warm and pleasant.

#dgm #d. gray man #fanfiction #and now for something completely different lol

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badlydrawnyullen · 7 years ago

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The Hours In-between

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-Man

Warning: canon-typical violence, blood, mild dissociation.

Words: 1281

I honestly was not planning on writing this. This started as a 200 word drabble on my phone, but then it grew to this thing. Anyway, here's a thing to prove I'm still active--I hope you all enjoy it! (I will be continuing my longer fics during winter break.)

(AO3 Link) || (FF.Net Link)

There are times where Allen’s mind races from him, between the almost ethereal period between night and dawn. The constant struggle to hoard himself, his conscious mind, to his physical body is an exhausting challenge, one that he must trudge through every day. Somehow, Johnny’s voice had pierced through the water-thick depths of himself, allowing him to break free…allowing him to come back. He doesn’t know how this happened, doesn’t know why, but is eternally relieved that he is the one moving his body, not Neah.

The parasite inside him has been quiet since his return, no visions clouding his eyes nor snide comments in the back of his mind.

He would like to keep it that way.

However, it is in these between-hours where he is restless and near anxious, overworked brain fighting his equally exhausted body. Now, fists clenching lightly in the paper-thin sheets of their rented room, he takes a breath in an attempt to calm himself. His mismatched hands shake and his vision swims. Bone-deep exhaustion coupled with a mind in his state is the chemical formula for his own destruction.

But, this is not unfamiliar, he thinks with derision.

Like many other nights, he feels like he is in limbo, trying to burst free from the fathoms of everything negative keeping him down. He is not sure whether he is awake or asleep, but a soft snore coming from him side makes him aware of his bed partner. Silky, raven hair spills over the pillows as the owner shifts, turning slightly to reveal tanned skin and a tattooed chest and shoulder. Crack-like scars, almost white in appearance, stand out on the other’s body in the pale moonlight that is flooding their room. North America had been a difficult experience for the both of them, one close to dying, collapsing in shattered pieces, and himself nearly dissolving away for good, being swallowed by the enemy he is not supposed to be.

No other scars mar the beautiful person.

Allen knows this person well, the body even better. He has argued with Kanda until he was blue in the face and has held the taller form in his arms when the other needed it. Working together, talking together, and struggling to survive together has brought forth an intimacy that Allen never expected in his life. This intimacy, the particular kind of someone trusting you and having someone to put his own faith in, is addicting and terrifying all at the same time. It is this same level of closeness that plagues him during these in-between-hours.

He is never sure if he is awake or asleep—trapped between a nightmare, daydream, or reality—but he sees Kanda in every moment. Despite the Church praising the benevolence and mercy of God, the deity seems to hate Allen with a passion.

Every moment he sees Kanda, he sees the other collapsed at his feet, unmoving and not breathing. Like a passenger in the backseat of a carriage, he is victim to watching his own body move without his consent, deadly and savage. He sees his own hands, one human and the color of alabaster and the other a weapon and the color of sleek black, stained and dripping with hot blood. Horror clutches his heart like a desperate robber and his shivering has nothing to do with cold. He is close to being ill. A dam of memories surges, immediately showing him Kanda yelling at him to come back, trying to disarm him, fighting against him, eventually pleading on wet breaths not to kill him…and then, lastly, dying with metal talons obliterating his core-heart. The feeling of sick satisfaction that is not his own fills him, causing him to shudder.

The intimacy that he craves and revels in proves itself to be the key to Kanda’s downfall.

His face feels wet, but he is not sure if it is from tears, sweat, or both. He is here and not here. Sticky nails drag against his face in a desperate attempt to scratch away the smile that, again, is not his. How could he have destroyed Kanda? Every grunt, every huff, every snide comment, every touch, and every rare, genuine smile or laugh to come from the taller man…gone. All because of him.

The memory of Kanda’s last breath and the sound of his core-heart breaking in Allen’s weaponized hand plays over and over without relent. He wants to scream and rage and cry, but his body will not move under his command, but rather through another’s. He is disappearing, being swallowed alive by Neah once again, and at this point, he just wants to die. Kanda was the one supposed to hold him back, the one to stop him if the Noah took over, the one that was going to be there for him. Now his lovely Kanda is gone because of him, because of—

“—Allen…?”

Who is calling his name?

He blinks, and suddenly the blood and paralysis melt away. The thin sheets have shifted around him, though are still held captive by his clenched fists. The smell of copper does not hang in the air, but rather the smell of wood—even more prevalent, the familiar scent of green tea and soap.

“…Allen?”

Tears sting his eyes and his breath is stolen from him. I know that voice, I know that voice. He swallows, the overwhelming feeling of relief threatening to make him break down. Next to him is Kanda alive and breathing, looking at him with a pinched gaze. In any other occasion, Allen would have teased and said the other was constipated, yet jesting has no home in the room right now. Currently, he knows the particular set of the other’s jaw and the furrow in his brow meant great concern and worry, not anger. The stubborn exorcist was just too proud to say it in words, however.

He opens his mouth to speak, but the only thing that comes out is a broken, keening noise. Kanda reaches for him and silently pulls him close, caring but not pitying. It is a slow motion, comforting. No matter what, his older companion treats him as equal, despite their spats and banter. With an amount of strength that it should not have taken, Allen unclenches his fists and brings them to rest on the other’s arms. Ghosting over the red stigmata on Kanda’s inner forearms with his thumbs, he realizes that he is shaking. Kanda is warm against him—being a Second Exorcist gives him an elevated body temperature—and it is this heat that helps ground Allen to the here and now.

Without prompt, Kanda speaks. “I woke up and you were staring in some kind of daze, Moyashi.” Softer, he continues, “You wouldn’t snap out of it.”

This has happened before, and he is not proud of it. Despite that, Kanda knows not to tell him how much time he has lost. In response, he just presses himself closer to Kanda, resting his face against the heated, bare skin of neck.

The number of hours lost are growing more and more concerning each day.

Allen prays to the God who hates him—and who he is gaining an even greater dislike towards—and begs for Kanda to stay in his life. He has loved people as just friends, such as Johnny, Lenalee, Lavi, and others, and he has loved deeply in the familial sense, Mana as the very first and dearest and then the people of the Order.

But, it is in the hours in-between night and dawn where he comes across a startling, though not unwelcomed realization:

Kanda loves him, and Allen loves him back.

Published: 12/1/17

#my fics #fic: the hours in-between #yullen #allen walker #yuu kanda #text answer #badlydrawnyullen #dgm #d.gray-man #neah campbell #neah walker

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kitty-bandit · 7 years ago

Note

For the ask thing: F, L and T. Have a nice day!

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialoguescenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Ok, I have to admit — that was kind of fun.”

“See? You should listen to me. Sometimes I know what I’mtalking about,” Lavi replied as Link rushed back over to the karaoke machine topop in the next song.

“Only sometimes, on the rarest of occasions,” Allen prefacedhis agreement.

“You’re so mean, Al. You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

Allen blinked at Lavi’s word choice. Cute? Lavithought he was cute?

Before Allen could think more on it, a disturbance near thekaraoke machine stole his attention.

“Listen, you have to share the machine, blondie,” the Elvisimpersonator nearly shouted, his voice heard even above the din of the bar.Lavi and Allen moved off stage and towards Link.

“Ok, Elvis,” Link said, rolling his eyes at the name.“How about you can use the machine when you finally sing an Elvis song. BecauseI’m so fucking sick of seeing you butcher Oops I Did It Again that Imight actually vomit this time. And I’ll be aiming for your blue suede shoes.”

“My shoes are white, dumbass.”

Link almost fell over, physically strained by hisaggravation. “You’re dressed as Elvis! Could you fucking get one of myreferences? I feel like I’m talking to the physical manifestation ofstupidity!”

“Hey, I don’t need to stand here and take this kind ofabuse! I’m calling the manager over here!”

“Oh? Gonna be a fucking tattletale, now? Snitches getstitches, Elvis.” Link continued to punch in his next song choice.

Even with how drunk Lavi and Allen were, they could alreadytell the situation was getting too heated. Lavi stepped up, moving between Linkand Elvis. “Now, now, guys. I’m sure we can come to a compromise.”

“Yeah, we’ll come to a compromise,” Link said, glaring atElvis. “The compromise is that we get to sing, and he gets to eat my entireass.”

“Uh… I don’t know if that’ll work. I mean, does he even liketo eat ass?” Lavi asked, taking the compromise seriously. He looked over at theimpersonator, leaning in close and talking in a hushed tone. “Are you intorimming?”

“What?!”

Allen, sensing that the situation was quickly spiraling outof control, attempted to soothe everyone’s flaring tempers. “Maybe if we alljust calm down for a moment and—”

“You tell him to calm down! He’s the one being the asshole!”the Elvis impersonator shouted, pointing at Link.

In response, Link barely batted an eye. “Come over here andmake me.”

Okay, so this snippet is from Night on the Town, and isbasically the pinnacle of my comedy skills. XD I don’t know if that’s a badthing or not, but I really love this fic and how it turned out. Everything thathappens to Lavi, Allen, and Link during their night out just continues toescalate. I also adore drunk Link and the ridiculousness that ensues because ofhis pre-mid-life crisis. XD

L: How many times do you usually revise yourfic/chapter before posting?

Usually, while I’m writing, I’ll go and read over what I’vewritten before, fixing a few things along the way. This can happen multipletimes until I’ve actually finished the fic. Once it’s done, I try to let it sitfor at least a week. That makes the editing process easier to deal with. Thefic is less fresh in my mind, and I’m less likely to rush my re-read/editing.

I like to have a beta check it out most times, and give mesome edits. When they’re done, I’ll input those into my draft.

Next up, I’ll used Editminion to check for things like weakwords and overuse of adjectives.

Lastly, I do one more final line-edit.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

I’m usually pretty easy going when it comes to tropes andshipping. I don’t like everything, but I don’t go crapping on people who likethings I don’t.

That being said, I hate the seme/uke tropes, and when peopleargue over who should top or bottom. Not only is it incredibly offensive andfetishizing of gay people, but it’s also an incredibly inaccurate portrayal ofreal relationship dynamics.

Fanfic Asks

#personal #reply #a q d #ask meme #Kitty Bandit writes fanfiction

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dame-chat-blanc · 8 years ago

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Your Guardian Angel

Linkllen 2017 Angel/Demon AU

The quiet dawn was beautiful, just as it was any other day Allen watched it from atop the church steeple. A soft breeze caressed his face, rustling through his ivory hair as he stood, bathing in the light of the rising sun. With a content sigh, he opened silver eyes to the horizon and stepped from his perch, landing with a practiced crouch on the platform below before sweeping into his room. The bells above rang with the 6 O’clock hour, breaking the veil of silence that hung over the city as the teenager meandered down the sidewalk to his daily stop at the cute corner cafe across the road from the campus he attended classes on.

Sitting at the same two-person table by the window as usual, a cup of coffee and a platter were set down moments later by the only employee there. A rather stiff looking young man only a few years older with the most interesting colored eyes and a penchant for being called by his last name instead of his first.

“Thanks Link, good morning.” He smiles up at the blonde that took a seat opposite, his own cup set before him.

“Morning, Walker.” Making a face, but not at the taste of the coffee, Allen stuck his tongue out rather childishly.

“I told you, call me Allen. It’s weird, being called by my last name.” Much to his chagrin, the other teen simply hummed as he stared out the window, but there was the faintest lift at the corner of his lips that the white haired boy nearly missed, “You’re impossible.” He muttered to himself, taking a bite from the warm apple tart.

“Only because it irritates you.” Allen nearly choked, snapping his eyes up to find Link’s own on him already, a smirk instead of his usual scowl or ‘resting bitch face’ as his friend Lavi called it. Rolling his eyes, he shook his head but was unable to fight off a small smile. This early there were few people to serve, so Link stayed and made small talk, anything from classes to the newest movie trailers to the news and even the weather, which although looked clear now Allen insisted it was going to rain before noon.

A few people entered the cafe just a little while before 7 O’clock, so Link excused himself to do his job, taking orders and serving the group of three. With a lag in chatter, Allen took to looking out the window as the street began to liven up with a slow trickle of students onto campus. He really couldn’t understand how people hated getting up early, he loved the view of the sunrise and it never failed to make the day feel bright. Except when it rained, or in the deep of winter, those were the days he felt a bit down. Forced to be alone with his thoughts muddled by the wet and cold weather. No one really noticed either, his friends were a constant cheer but once he left their company it was back to the silence of contemplation that he so loathed; Link though, he was different. He never really tried to liven up a mood, he just did. His very presence, though a bit off because of how aloof he seemed to be at first, was like pleasant glow to Allen.

A tint of pink dusted the teen’s cheeks as he chewed the last bite of the delicious pastry, looking in the reflection of the glass at his own face. He loved the small cafe. He loved the food, the atmosphere, the coffee. And if he was ready to really admit it, he was most definitely in love with Howard Link.

“… If you keep zoning out you’re going to be late for your class, Walker.” Jolted from his thoughts, Allen’s blush returned tenfold as he shot up from his seat, narrowly missing colliding with the main topic of his musings.

“Sorry, Link! Thanks, I’ll see you later then?” He slung his bag over a shoulder and waved as he shot out the door, not seeing the fond smile on the older male’s lips as Link shook his head before turning back to serve a customer.

It was two in the afternoon by the time Allen made his way towards the west entrance to campus, his shoulders slumped just the smallest bit from how heavy his bag felt. Be a forensic scientist they said, it’ll be fun they said… well learning how to be a forensic scientist was nothing but work and stress in his opinion. That and his frien-nemy Kanda was in a really bad mood today, probably forgot to buy conditioner again.

Chuckling at his inner monologue, the ivory haired teen nearly walked straight into someone standing around the corner of the gate and hastily apologized to the older, dark haired man.

“No worries, probably shouldn’t have been standing here anyway.” He replied kindly, rubbing out the remains of his cigaret under his shoes, “Say, you wouldn’t happen to live around here, would you?”

“I do.” Allen replied slowly, a little wary of the stranger despite his friendly demeanor. He had a Portuguese accent and brown eyes to match his swept back hair, and if anything he looked rich in his black suit.

“Perfect! I’m looking for the church that’s supposed to be around here but I’m afraid I’m a bit lost.”

“The church? Oh, it’s down a few blocks and then a few streets down on the right. Would you like me to show you?”

“Thank you very much but i couldn’t possible take up any more of your time.”

“I insist, I’m done with my classes for the day and besides, I live at that church anyway so i’m heading that way.” He could have smacked himself for blurting out such a personal detail, but the damage was done; besides, it wasn’t like most people didn’t already know, so what was one more?

“You’re too kind, thank you.” The man said with a small smile as they began to walk, “Though you’ve peaked my interest, why live at a church?”

“Oh, well, it used to be an orphanage, but it closed down a few weeks after I turned 18, so they let me stay there.”

“Hmm, a likely story.” Before Allen could voice his confusion, he was dragged by his collar into a nearby alley and slammed against the brick wall, grimacing at the pain in his back as the stranger glared down at him with inhuman gold eyes, “Where is it?”

“W-where’s what? Who the hell are you!?” One of the man’s hands slipped from his shirt and when it appeared again, there was an obsidian blade in its grasp that was pressed against the skin of his throat.

“A clever disguise, a college student, but giving it away by actually living in a church is a little disappointing. I expected more from the angel that stole Pandora’s Box. Now, tell me where you hid it and maybe I’ll consider not tearing your essence to shreds.” Sufficed to say, Allen was inwardly terrified. Nothing this man-if he even was human-said made sense, he could feel a drop of blood sliding down his neck from the edge of the knife, and he really wanted to wake up from whatever nightmare his calculus class had induced.

On the outside he could only stare, his tongue felt thick in his mouth and he couldn’t bring himself to answer or say anything for that matter. The man’s gaze narrowed further and he snarled but then stopped, mixed look of confusion and shock on his features.

“What the hell are you?” The blade dug a little deeper and the teen winced at the prick of pain when there was a sudden gust of wind. Allen’s arms rose to shield his face and closed eyes as the stranger’s hold and weapon vanished and a sudden feeling of vertigo assaulted him when he finally opened his eyes. He felt a pair of arms holding him up even as he buried his face into the shoulder of whoever his savior was and wrapped his arms around their neck. His nausea faded and he finally opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was white feathered wings against the clear blue sky. Blonde hair brushed his cheek as the familiar braid twisted in the wind for a moment then stilled as they landed, on the familiar balcony of his room at the church.

All but throwing himself out of the arms, Allen slammed the doors open and began pacing, unwilling to look at the person that had literally saved his neck. Running a hand over his hair, the teen began mumbling to himself, not noticing that he had only succeeded in working himself into a panic attack.

The previously stationary figure strode across the room and grabbed him gently, lowering them both to the floor.

“Allen?” The damnable warm and familiar voice asked a few minutes after his breathing had evened out, “Are you alright?” A laugh, dry and humorless, left his lips.

“‘Am I alright?’ No I’m not, I just got jumped by some rich guy that thought I was an angel and had Pandora’s Box!”

“A demon. That man wasn’t human.”

“… And what about you, Link?”

“I… I’m not either… But I’m not a demon.”

“No, you’re a damn angel.”

“Yes…” Burying his head in his hands, Allen pulled away from the embrace and stood, Link following a moment later. With a mental shake, silver eyes slowly opened and the teen looked over the celestial being in his room. He still looked the same… Except for the two wings that were neatly folded against his back, so long that the tips dragged against the ground by a couple inches and white enough to seemingly glow.

They stared in silence for a time before Link’s reddish brown eyes dipped down just the slightest. With slow carefully measured steps he approached, almost like he was afraid Allen was going to bolt any sudden movement. And for all Allen knew he was almost at the point of just running away from this, running and trying to wake himself up from the insane dream he was sure he was having.

“You’re hurt.” At the words a small pinch of pain radiated from the cut, as if he needed a more palpable piece of evidence telling him this was all real as the sunrise he had been watching.

“I’m fine.” No he wasn’t, the cut had begun to burn, a growing feeling of fire throbbing through his veins the long he tried to push away the hands that he knew were just trying to help. With a cry his knees buckled under him as he clutched and scratched at the wound. Link caught him before he could collapse on the floor and made quick work of restraining the teen’s hands to keep him from tearing at the bloody mess that had become his neck. A black tinge grew from the wound, spreading to the surrounding area before it began to recede and then vanish altogether, leaving Link very puzzled and Allen trying to cope with the sudden lack of excruciating pain.

“What…the fuck?”

“Dark Matter, a poison deadly to angels and humans, the only thing strong enough to counteract it is demon blood…” He explained, releasing Allen’s hands to let him sit up. There was still a fair amount of blood on the teen’s neck, but it was no longer seeping from the cut, which Link took as a good sign and leaned back, sitting barely half a foot from the other.

“How am I even supposed to cope with this? This cannot be happening, can I just wake up back in calculus, please?” Link nearly laughed, but instead he just huffed in amusement, like he always did.

“I wish you could, but if you go outside they’re going to try and kill you.”

“Why do they think I’m the angel and not you though?”

“Because you live in a church and I run a bakery. I never said they were the brightest.”

“Then what’s stopping them from busting in here? And what’s the deal with Pandora’s Box?”

“Like all churches, it was built on hallowed ground, demons and spirits can’t enter. As for the Box, well I took it to keep it out of reach from them and the archangels.” That got Allen’s attention as he finally looked at the blond.

“Wait, why? Aren’t angels supposed to be like good and stuff?”

“In theory.” He answered dryly, “The angels were created to keep humanity alive and push them towards God without physical interaction. When the world began, they locked the greatest potential evils of man in a box and gave it to Pandora after making her vow never to open it, but she did and all but one thing was unleashed.”

“Hope.”

“Yes, but that’s only the legend, in reality, there were many things still enclosed in the box. Humility, Kindness, Apathy, Charity, Selflessness, Innocence. Pandora’s Box is a physical manifestation of the soul of all human beings. If it were to be destroyed, it would bring about the end of times. It was taken back to heaven to be watched over, but once you’ve watched over the civilizations of humans for hundreds of years you start to feel hopeless. Many of the older angels feel like it would be best to end the world and start anew.”

“But you don’t think that way…do you?” It was hesitant, and Link found himself just a bit vexed, but not at Allen, he could never bring himself to be angry with him. It vexed him that the angels, his kin, would give up on humanity, not when there were such amazing things in the world when you looked closer than the wars and conflicts of man.

“No, I don’t, and I wasn’t the only one. There were a group of us that opposed the idea and took action. Together we stole the Box and came to Earth, well, we fell really.”

“Did it hurt?” Link snapped from where he had been looking out the still open balcony doors to find the white haired teen grinning at him, trying to hold back his mirth. “When you fell from heaven?” At the eye roll he received, he couldn’t handle it anyway and started laughing, clutching his stomach as his eyes teared up.

“Good to know you’re feeling better.” The blonde muttered to himself while fighting a small smile. Finally, Allen managed to sit up again, settling his outburst with a deep breath.

“Cut me some slack here, Link, I’m trying to wrap my head around all this. Angels, demons, a mythic box, I have no idea what to think of all this, plus there’s a small part of me stuck on the fact that you actually used my fist name for once.” That made him pause, thinking back, he had used his first name. Link tugged on the cuff of the plaid shirt, which was now open, that he had on over a plain white tee and shrugged under the strangely intense silver gaze. “I guess I did. Anyway, I need to go check that the Box is where I left it.”

“And where would that be?” Allen asked curiously as they both stood up and made their way down to the main hall that lead in several directions.

“Somewhere worse than a church.”

“You put the manifestation of man’s soul in a cemetery?”

“… Yes.”

“This gets worse before it gets better, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” There was a heavy sigh as the angel opened the iron gate, wincing at the shriek of metal before going in, only to stop a few paces in when he noticed that Allen was not behind him. Turning, he found the tee staring with a confused look at his own feet.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t move.”

“What?” Link moved back to the entrance and grabbed the boy’s arm, intent on pulling him with him, but he snapped his hand away when a spark of pain hit him. Allen had taken a step back when he saw Link’s reaction, concern in his eyes.

“Link! Are you alright? What happened?”

“I don’t know, I’ve only felt shock like that from coming in contact with a demon during a fight once before… Come here,” he moved completely out of the cemetery and gestured a few meters away. They stood facing each other, the blonde looking rather stiff, or at least stiffer than usual, and Allen wasn’t sure how he felt about this new revelation.

“I’m going to look at your soul.”

“My soul?”

“Yes, I know it sounds strange but I also need you not to fight it.” The teen swallowed, feeling his heartbeat speed up a bit as he nodded and let Link place his hands on his face and watched as he simply closed his eyes and went still. He wasn’t sure what to brace for, but it certainly wasn’t something encasing his entire being in unseeable white light. He did his best not to struggle and go with the unearthly sensation, but he just couldn’t describe it it was so alien. Suddenly he say something, an image of five people all smiling at him and each other. No, it wasn’t him, it was Link they were looking at. They all wore the same white shirts and pants, and in the only girl’s case a dress, and they all had the same white wings and ethereal glow.

With a snap the image was gone and so was the angelic presence as Link slowly lowered his hands, a mix of emotion in his eyes despite the blank expression.

“I don’t believe it.”

“What? What did you see?”

“Your soul,” ‘Obviously’ Allen bit his tongue to keep from being sarcastic, “and two others.”

“Come again?”

“There are two other souls in your body, lying mostly dormant. An angelic that seems to be containing a powerful demon.” The moment with the demon that had tried to kill him rose to the forefront of his mind and Allen cringed, taking a step back.

“That’s impossible…” It sounded much like the way he felt, confused, weak, disbelieving. It was too much; his heart rate increased and his breathing became sharper and quicker as he wrapped his arms around himself. Link was by his side a moment later, his hands back as they were moments earlier.

“Allen, breathe, it’s going to be alright,” he wished he could sound more reassuring, but he was conflicted on how exactly to comfort him.

“How do you know!?” The teen snapped, “I got dragged into this and now God knows what I’m going to do, I obviously can’t stay here without someone eventually getting hurt. I just wanted to be normal for once! Be the college kid instead of the orphan at a church that no one would adopt, I didn’t want to be a freak mix of souls!”

He hadn’t anticipated it, the sharp sting on his cheek as he found himself looking to the right. He couldn’t breath as he slowly looking back at the blonde who gently caressed the red skin with a cool touch. His eyes were gentle, a hint of sympathy lingering in their depths, but there was also understanding.

“It’s going to be alright, because you’ve got me if nothing else. You’re not a freak, you never will be because you’re Allen Walker, the most optimistic and cheerful human being that I have ever met. Yes, things have changed suddenly and without warning, but if anyone can adapt to that, it’s you. You can rely on me, Allen, I will be there to help you and protect you.”

“You promise?” A whisper, heavy with emotion, left his lips as Allen stared into unyielding eyes.

“On my life.” He answered before finally giving in and sweeping in to catch his lips. Allen tensed at the sudden and unexpected contact, but his heart skipped a beat as he returned the angel’s affections, moving his arms to grab the front of Link’s shirt and pull him closer. His lips were warm and soft, and dare he say heavenly.

They parted for breath and Link smiled softly, resting his forehead against Allen’s; they stood in the silence of twilight for a few moments before the angel pulled away.

“I need to get the box, then I think we both need to rest. Today was certainly far from normal.”

“You can say that again.” The silver haired teen held muttered to himself even as he nodded agreement.

#linkllen #howard link #allen walker #linkllen week 2017 #angel/demon AU #d.gray-man AU #linkllenweek2017 #fanfiction #kinda long #probably full of OOC ness #not my fault #haven't written these guys in forever #but I love shipping them #language warning by the way #only a little bit tho #d.gray man

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49names-blog1 · 8 years ago

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@krorykiins look I wrote a thing about the Lavi being an idiot thing. Krory is no doubt ooc but i tried

He can’t feel the pain. The shots flare with pain, but it goes blank when he hits the water. The black stars are covering his skin as he floats down, nearly losing the grip on his hammer. Before he can regain his senses the water splashes, and then there’s something digging into his neck. The stars fade, and he’s soon back on the boat. Coughs wrack his body, forcing water from his lungs. Once his breath is calming he looks up, “Wait, wasn’t I just shot?”

From behind him Krory speaks, thanking him for the meal. Lavi gulps quietly, feeling his neck where a bite mark is bleeding. Krory bit him. Really, actually bit him. His mouth is dry from the salt water... and the thought of Krory biting him again. It’s a thought that is more appealing than he wants to admit. Before that can go any farther though, Bookman yells at them to stop standing around. With any luck, he’ll have time to ponder this later.

~~~~~

Event after event happens non-stop. Allen returns, the Order moves to a new headquarters, security tightens. Everything seems to be changing, but one thing has remained stable for Lavi. His fixation on Krory.

The elder man is far too much a gentleman, and far too shy, to ever make a move on Lavi. As such, he’ll have to do that himself. But for all the hinting and suggestive remarks he’s made, Krory hasn’t done anything. Lavi can barely tell he’s acknowledging them.

The next time they’re in battle together Lavi makes a ‘mistake’ and allows himself to be shot. Krory of course comes to his rescue, sharp teeth biting into his neck. It isn’t a shock like before, and he isn’t fighting the chill from freezing water. This time he can feel it, and it feels amazing. He groans, and hopes that sounds more pained than pleasured. When Krory pulls away he chastises Lavi for slipping up, then returns to battle.

~~~~~

A week passes, and Lavi is itching to feel Krory’s teeth digging into his skin again, but the man still hasn’t taken a hint. So that leads to where he is now, snooping around the science department. Reever has already yelled at him to get out, but he just ducked away, into another area. Evidently Reever has more important things to do than chase away Lavi, because he doesn’t follow.

It takes almost an hour of snooping around, reading labels off various bottles before he finds what he’s looking for. As vile as some of the experiments that the Order has done are, Lavi is glad they keep a lot of old materials. Among those materials, is akuma blood. He slips it into his bag before booking it for the door. Once again, Reever yells at him, threatening him if he’s broken anything.

Nothing is broken, except maybe Lavi himself.

Another hour passes while he’s searching for Krory, eventually finding him in his room. Even now that the man has friends, maybe even considering them to be family, he still tends to keep to himself at times. Just before entering the room Lavi grabs the bottle from his bag, carefully keeping his hand over the label. Should anyone pass by, they don’t need to see what he’s about to drink. He hesitates, just for a moment, to debate if this is worth the risk. He could easily die. The chances are low, as it’s been proven twice now that Krory can extract the virus and save his life, but the risk remains. He takes a deep breath. It doesn’t matter anyways, his life is worthless.

He brings it to his lips, and ingests a sip of it.

He immediately feels his body tingling, nerves feeling like their on fire with the knowledge that he could die at any moment. Lavi opens the door to Krory’s room, greeting him with a smile. “Hey Kro-” he starts, but his words are cut off when Krory is at his throat. Either he can smell the blood, or the pentacles form much faster than he expects. The door is still open, anyone passing by could see or hear them, but Lavi can’t stop the moan that escapes his lips.

He’s about to grab onto Krory to hold him close when the man pulls away, frowning deeply at him. The elder takes a minute, glaring at Lavi while debating what to say. Lavi knows he’s made a mistake, but the bite felt so good. The guilt that he has to swallow before speaking doesn’t feel as pleasant. “Hey, Kro-chan,” he says, trying to use his usual cheer. After that though, he doesn’t know what else to say.

Several minutes pass, Lavi shifting uncomfortably while Krory continues to glare. Finally he speaks, and while he’s not loud; Lavi can tell he is quite angry. “What has gotten into you? You’ve let yourself get hurt, and now this? How did you get the virus here?”

Lavi raises his hand to scratch the back of his head, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. “I found something in the science division and this happened,” he says, giving Krory a half truth. “I knew I could trust ya ta help me!” he says, smiling at Krory.

The angry scowl drops from Krory’s face, replaced with a look of sadness. “Lavi. You have to be careful, stop meddling with their stuff. The Order is in a hard enough position right now, you can’t be causing trouble.”

He frowns, gaze dropping to the floor. Krory seems to care more about the Order than about him. “That’s all I’m good for,” he mutters, a rare moment where he’s not hiding behind a mask.

Lavi quickly shakes himself out of it, looking up at Krory again and smiling again, “I’m sorry Kro-chan, I’ll be more careful,” he promises. On a whim he pulls out the bottle of akuma blood, “Here, you need it more than me,” he says, hand extending out towards Krory.

Krory grabs the bottle, looking at it for a moment before looking at Lavi again, finally able to see what he did. “You... drank this? Then came here? Why? What if you hadn’t gotten to me soon enough?”

“I didn’t drink it until I was right outside the door. Like I said, I knew ya wouldn’t let me die,” he says.

The elder flounders for words, baffled by why Lavi would do this. “W-why?”

Again Lavi scratches his head. “Uh, ya remember on the boat to Edo, I got hit and ya bit me? It- it felt really good. I wanted ya ta do it again but ya weren’t picking up on anything so... this was the only thing I could think of.”

Krory sighs, stepping close again, but this time raising his hands to gently caress Lavi’s face. “Idiot. You didn’t have to risk your life like that.”

Without another word Lavi grabs Krory and pulls him into a kiss. He hums when Krory responds to it with, admittedly, more skill than he expects. Lavi breaks away suddenly when he hears a laugh nearby. He turns to see Allen and pouts. “Aaallll! Don’t laugh!” he whines.

#lavi bookman #lavi #arystar krory #krory #krovi #my writing #out of books #whoops that got long #oh well

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theinvinciblenoob · 6 years ago

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Alice Lloyd George Contributor

Alice Lloyd George is an investor at RRE Ventures and the host of Flux, a series of podcast conversations with leaders in frontier technology.