#no taglist sorry- since it's only a snippet!

[honnelander]

go fish! part 4 snippet

i wanted to share a small piece of go fish! part 4 with everyone!! you've all been waiting patiently and i can tell this is going to be a long one so...here's a small piece! (this thing is going to be a BEAST. probably the longest thing i'd have ever written for tumblr)

(disclaimer: this work is unfinished, unedited, and can also not make it into the final product (even though i’m very certain it will))

You were such a coward. 

In your mind, there was no other way to describe yourself and your pattern of recent behavior. Ever since your um, realization at the bar weeks ago, you’ve been avoiding Sanji as best you could.  

Normally, you’d both conveniently end up alone together or seek the other one out like magnets, but ever since you had admitted to yourself that you were in fact, in love with the blonde chef and not just crushing on him anymore, you were finding it harder and harder to keep your feelings under wraps. 

With every wink, smile, and flirty jab directed at you by the charismatic blonde, you felt your resolve weaken by the day. All you wanted to do was grab him by the lapels of his suit jacket and kiss him until you both needed air; you wanted to drown yourself in him and whisper how much you loved him, spilling your heart out to the man you were in love with but you just....couldn’t.  

Besides the fact he probably didn’t return your affections, you couldn’t risk compromising the crew’s dynamic. There was just too much on the line, so you just had to keep your feelings to yourself, as much as it pained you. Every night before you went to bed, you reminded yourself that this was just how life was.  

Since you couldn’t confess your feelings, that left you with only one other option: avoid him as much as you could without being weird. But that was easier said than done. 

“Care for a cold drink, my love?” Sanji asked you one hot day as you and the crew were playing poker, or trying to at least, as he held a chilled glass bottle of water in his hands with a couple of empty glasses.  

The game turned into more of ‘Nami teaching everyone but Zoro on how to play’, but you’d all been out here what felt like forever and you, Luffy, and Usopp were still as confused as ever.  

You looked up from the cards in your hand to see Sanji looking down at you with an expectant smile, his blue eyes twinkling with an emotion you still didn't quite understand. The whole scenario felt like DeJa'Vu.  

You noticed that look in his eye whenever you’d make eye contact with him as of late, but you just brushed it off. The last thing you needed for your delusions and heartbreak was to think that Sanji could possibly love you too. 

“No thanks,” you replied, brushing him off and looking back down at your hand, trying to ignore the flutter in your heart at one of his nicknames for you. “I’m good.” 

At your response, Nami, Usopp, and Zoro all looked up simultaneously, quickly looking at you then to Sanji with raised eyebrows. You never turned down one of Sanji’s offers.  

The only person to not react was Luffy, as oblivious as ever. “What are you talking about y/n?” the straw hat captain asked as he rearranged the cards in his hand, not looking at you. “You just said you were thirsty a couple of minutes ago.” 

“Yeah, well...” you trailed off, shifting in your seat, your cheeks heating up at being caught and called out in a lie. “I, uh, I’m not, anymore.” 

At your lame response, all eyes turned to look at you, sans Luffy’s, as a beat of silence passed.  

Ever the instigator, Usopp broke the awkward silence first. “You sure about that y/n?” he asked nonchalantly as he turned his attention back to his cards. “You looked a little flushed.” 

“Yeah,” Zoro agreed casually, placing his cards face down on the table as he rubbed his jaw. “You look like you could use a drink y/n.” 

“In fact, you look so flushed, that poor Sanji came all the way out here from the kitchen just so he could take care of you by hand-delivering you a cold glass of water, and you still turn him down? Oof,” Usopp clicked his tongue and shook his head once. “That’s cold.” 

“Ice-cold,” Zoro quipped without missing a beat.  

You looked up from your hand, opening your mouth to tell them off when Nami spoke before you could. 

“I’ll take a glass of water, Sanji. Thank you,” Nami quickly intervened, giving the bantering men a sharp look.  

“I’ll take one too, my good man,” Luffy piped up, raising a finger in the air and looking at Sanji.  

Sanji stood there for a moment, looking at you completely baffled before snapping out of his daze. He blinked a few times in confusion, letting out a small huff, his smile faltering slightly. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure thing. Of course,” he replied, placing the glasses and filling them up and handing them out. 

“Hey, waiter? Could I get a beer instead?” Zoro asked Sanji as he placed a cold glass of water in front of Luffy.  

“Oo- could I get a beer too?” Usopp quickly interjected. 

“Uh, sure,” Sanji replied before placing a glass of water in front of Nami, saying in a softer tone, “Here you go Madam.” The blonde cook straightened up slightly, capping the glass water bottle and picking up the now spare empty glasses. Sanji looked down at you, a brow slightly raised as he asked you in a slightly disbelieving tone, “And nothing for you, Missus?” 

At hearing the nickname, your heart skipped a beat. But you still couldn’t look at him. “Nope. I’m good Sanji, thanks.” 

At your dismissal, Sanji sucked on his teeth, nodding once. “Alright...got it.” He exhaled slightly. “I’ll, uh, be right back with the beers,” he said dejectedly before turning on his heel and making his way back towards the kitchen. 

“Yeah, I’m not really understanding this whole ‘poker’ thing,” Luffy said, putting his cards face up on the table. “What if we play slapjack instead?” he asked brightly, looking around the table. 

Zoro scoffed. “I haven’t played slapjack since I was a kid.” 

“How about we play go fish instead?” Usopp asked. 

“I am not playing go fish. Now that game is for children,” Zoro quickly rebuked, like he was insulted at the idea of playing such a stupid game. After a beat, the swordsman smirked as he said, “Which makes sense why you’d want to play, Usopp, since you’re a child yourself-” 

“Hey!” Usopp whined. “Just because I drink chocolate milk for breakfast sometimes doesn’t make me-” 

At the sound of the boys’ bickering, Nami tuned them out. Instead of listening to their pointless arguing, she couldn’t help but watch a despondent Sanji disappear from the deck. It looked like it was time to have another talk with him.  

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Nueva Vida - [Part 2]

♥ prev | masterlist

♥ pairing: platonic f1 grid x latina!fem!engineer!reader x lando norris

♥ smau + written (reader is lewis' ferrari race engineer)

♥ none of the pictures are mine - face claim: wolifecindy on insta & girls on pinterest

♥ warnings: misogyny, swearing, mentions of alcohol, suggestive language !!!

♥ a/n: I'm so sorry if my Spanish is incorrect, I'm a no sabo kid.

♥ taglist; @the-holy-trinity-l, @formulaal, @jxnellat, @aldene-styles, @thecubanator2

ʏ/ɴ ʟ/ɴ ᴛᴀʟᴋꜱ ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴍᴏᴛᴏʀꜱᴘᴏʀᴛꜱ, ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴜꜱɪᴇ ᴡᴏʟꜰꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Vogue Article Snippet-

Though she has been not in the spotlight for long, Y/n L/n has certainly made an impact on Formula 1. Alongside other amazing female influences such as Hannah Schmitz and Bernie Collins, Y/n continues to be a role model for women in the sport.

-Vogue Interview-

"So, Y/n what were your experiences like coming up to F1? I can only imagine the difficulties that come with being a woman in motorsports."

"It definitely was a challenge. Hate really got to my heart when I was younger and fresh out of high school. With the amount of misogyny I've faced and the lack of representation, I've almost given up too many times." you said, thinking back to your early days in F3. "I had to push myself and remember why I was here. First and foremost my passion for the sport. I've been an F1 fan since I was a kid and I wasn't going to toss away my dream due to bigoted men around me. They wanted to see me fail and I wasn't going to let them succeed."

"Beautifully said. I know the fans have a nickname for you... "Susie Wolff's daughter" how do you feel about this?"

"It's definitely something," you laughed softly. "No, I love it. Susie was and continues to be a role model of mine. I'm definitely glad we have a program like F1 Academy being directed by her. I hope I can inspire girls the same way she does."

"I have one more question for you: What are your plans for the future? Was F1 the ultimate goal or is there still something you're chasing?"

"F1 was definitely the dream. It's absolutely unreal that I'm working with Ferrari and the one and only Lewis Hamilton. As far as my future, I don't have any current plans. I want to enjoy my time here before I start considering any sort of possible change."

The interviewer nodded and jotted down a few notes

"Thank you for your time Y/n." she smiled.

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by landonorris, roscoehamilton, and 562,856 more

yourusername prêts pour la belgique / bereit für Belgien <3

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yourbestfriend pick me. choose me. love me.

*liked by yourusername*

user4 so SO real for that

user7 that waffle looks so good wtf

user8 her speaking french and german 🥺

user14 polygot queen

user10 WHERES MYSTERY MAN

user3 ROSCOE!!!

user9 manifesting a Ferrari 1-2

user82 didn't think I could hate her more

user10 bruv what did she do 😭

user1 she had the audacity to exist as a women in sports

user60 she's still here?

user7 wdym by that?

user60 figured they would've fired her by now

user19 you're so pretty

user14 my home country <3

yourusername @/charles_leclerc so when were we getting a Leo roscoe crossover?

user2 its a crime that it hasn't happened yet

charles_leclerc they can meet in budapest

yourusername that better be a promise

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 632,394 more

scuderiaferrari Ferrari 1-2 in Spa. Let's keep pushing ❤️

view comments

yourusername congrats lew and charlie <3 you both drove an amazing race

user1 "lew" "charlie" 🥹

user8 shes the cutest :(

user14 "thank you y/n" we all say in unison

lewishamilton thank you y/n

charles_leclerc thank you y/n

landonorris thank you y/n

user7 Lando you're not even a ferrari driver 😭

user9 MANIFESTING WORKED

user15 and how come y/n's not in this post

user3 wheres y/n?

user8 they're trying to silence women

user9 confirmed women haters

user5 GET IN THERE LEWIS

user12 I'm crying they're 1-2 in the championship too hdjdjddj

user14 I need them to go pull Adrian Newey out of retirement now

user2 ❤️forza ferrari❤️

fredrikvesti WE MISS YOU AT MERCEDES

yourusername me or Lewis?

georgerussell63 neither

yourusername @/georgerussell63 and I thought we were friends

georgerussell63 you're traitors 🫵

user5 I love that this is a running joke

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Time Skip: Mexico-

liked by francisca.gomes, shecoperez, and 347,629 more

yourusername had to visit rosarito before I head to mexico city

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yourbestfriend we NEED a girls trip here

yourusername you, me, kika, lily mhe

lilymhe I’m so there

user12 welcome to mexico!!!

user14 how is she so pretty 😭

user18 those tacos look so good

user90 🤢

user3 bros so weird

user19 imagine going out of your way to comment that

user1 so aesthetic

user20 ❤️❤️❤️

user17 your so gorgeous

scuderiaferrari the mexico f1 parties go crazy

yourusername fuck yea !!!

user6 what’s admin doing here

user15 I have an undying love for f1 insta account admins

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by shecoperez, carlossainz55, and 693,240 more

yourusername oh we are SO back @/landonorris @/mexicogp

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yourusername @/shecoperez congrats on your home race win ❤️🇲🇽

shecoperez gracias

yourbestfriend CACKLING over that picture of Lando

user7 the sombrero is the cherry on top 😭

user1 I'm obsessed with the mexico gp

user10 her side profile >>>

user17 you're gorgeous

user6 lando's face 💀

user4 the race was amazzingg

user7 plus we got a Charles podium !

user67 maybe if she spent more time working instead of posting about her life they would have won

user9 dude...

user1 nah caus that's CRAZY 😭

user8 @/user67 hombre jodete

user12 SHES SO PRETTY

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by fernandoalonso, georgerussell63, 942,394 users

landonorris @/yourusername, @/fernandoalonso, @/georgerussell63

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user14 who's mouth is y/n pouring alcohol into? 😭

georgerussell63 no one knows

user6 PLEASEE 💀

user1 dj Lando 🫦

user8 SO REAL

user19 lando tho 🤭

user2 nando*

user19 honestly yea

user7 giggling, twirling my hair, kicking my feet

user5 dj lando save me...

user5 dj lando

user5 save me dj lando

user6 I WANNA BE SAAAVEEED

user6 carmen is so pretty

user8 I love them

user4 *me patiently waiting for a chaotic insta story*

user3 wheres max?

yourusername drunk, looking like a frat boy, with a group of men I've never met

user10 sounds like max

user9 dj Lando AND frat boy max?!?!?

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by lewishamilton, francisca.gomes, pierregasly, and 453,482 more

yourusername me and my favorite man in Brasil

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landonorris I thought I was your favorite man

yourusername that's awkward 😬

oscarpiastri that's so embarrassing for you

user7 sassy oscar >>>

francisca.gomes Ill see you in the paddock <3

yourusername ily pookems see you there

user8 obsessed with their friendship

user6 lewis looks so good

user17 SURFER LEWIS !!!

user4 NEED that brasil tank top

user9 begging for a closet tour

user5 anyone else sensing some romantic tension between y/n and lando?

user10 YES absolutley

user23 they're just friends

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 539,349

landonorris puede que no sea el primero en tu corazón, pero al menos he llegado el primero en la carrera

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yourusername THATS SO SAD I was just joking earlier with lewis I swear you're absolutely first in my heart 🥺❤️

user13 AWWW

user17 *sobs*

user2 I can't be the only one who thinks they're in love

user8 LANDO 😭💔

user9 *clutches heart*

user7 shoulda said this in portugese :/

user1 not everyone can speak a thousand languages like y/n

user12 lando puts the bi in bilingual

user9 lmao the mood change

user10 lando nowins

user11 lando twowins

user4 LANDO WINS THE BRAZILIAN GRAND PRIX !!!

maxverstappen1 congrats on your win mate

*liked by original poster*

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Abu Dhabi-

The Italian anthem was chanted by the Ferrari team as Lewis, Max, and Charles stood on the podium.

"Stringiamci a coorte! Siam pronti alla morte. Siam pronti alla morte, L'Italia chiamò..."

Champagne drenched your body causing confetti to stick to your hair and skin. It was certainly a battle between the three who were all tied in the points going into today's race. Lewis crossed the finish line first causing the entire atmosphere to change. The crowds and the Ferrari garage erupted in applause and gleeful cheers.

Everyone was still overjoyed as you looked down at the crowd below the podium you were standing on. You quickly pulled a few pieces of confetti off of yourself and the champagne bottle you were holding, stashing them in your pocket.

You hugged Lewis tightly as you congratulated him on his eighth world championship and he thanked you for all your hard work. It was an incredible piece of history you had the honor to be a part of.

-F1 Winter Break-

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, maxfewtrell and 693,482 more

yourusername took my (favorite) man to panama. te amo <3

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georgerussell63 took you long enough

carlossainz55 so this is why you denied my invitation to spain

user8 lando just casually cheating on carlos right in front of his eyes 😔

user10 the last picture hello ?!?!?

user15 they're so cute

lilymhe literally couple goals

yourusername no you and alex !!!

landonorris @/yourusername you don't think we're couple goals?

user2 stop breaking his heart like that y/n

maxfewtrell last picture creds?

yourusername 😐

user7 @/maxfewtrell why are you taking pictures of them like making out 😭

user6 why's max even on their romantic getaway anyway fhfjsks

user9 BABE WAKE UP NEW Y/N X LANDO CONTENT

lewishamilton nos vemos la próxima temporada

yourusername congrats on your championship - nos vemos la próxima temporada lewis <3

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

end notes: I hope this was a good end to the mini series ! tysm for all the support on the first part and ty for reading ♥

[wannabespacesmuggler]

D.D. | Shane's Girl

Part Five | Masterlist | Buy me a coffee | Check out the playlist

Summary: Daryl Dixon knows he shouldn’t be thinking about you when he’s alone at night in his tent. Hell, he shouldn’t even be looking at you throughout the day. You’re not his. You’re Shane’s girl. But Daryl doesn’t like the way Shane treats you. And he certainly doesn’t like how you’re forced to play ‘loving girlfriend’ to a man with eyes for another woman at the camp.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Shane Walsh sucks

Word Count: 1.2K

Author’s Note: Thanks for the continued love on this lil fic. I love them. The connection they are creating with one another is so sweet and I cannot wait to continue writing for these two idiots. Shane of course continues to be a dick and will only get worse. We're getting closer to the start of the show. I won't be retelling the entire series in this fic. Just snippets of their life together -- the show will fill in the gaps in a way. Anyway, let me know what you guys think of this one, if you want to be added to the taglist, or just want to ask me a question.

Extras: Playlist

You don’t consider yourself a jealous girlfriend; however, as you watch Shane and Lori from across the camp, you cannot help the rage that begins to simmer in your chest. The feeling makes you nauseous. You adore Lori. She’s always been like an older sister to you -- the senior girl who took you under her wing during your freshman year of high school. So the problem isn’t Lori. No, it’s the way Shane is looking at Lori. His face practically lights up with affection and warmth as he listens to her -- a stark contrast to the Shane you’ve become accustomed to since the dead started walking. 

“Hey, uhm. Is everything okay?”

Glenn’s soft voice cuts through your rising temper, startling you. You look up at him with wide eyes for a second, before attempting to pull yourself together. If anyone in camp knew the exact thoughts running through your head right now, you’d be humiliated. You take a deep breath before giving Glenn a polite smile. 

“Of course. Why do you ask?”

Glenn shifts awkwardly on his feet. You haven’t really had a chance to get to know to know Glenn. You could probably count on one hand how many times the two of you have interacted since he joined the camp. For the first few weeks, you assumed he didn’t like you. However, Amy informed you that his avoidance is nothing personal -- it’s just that Shane terrifies him and you’re an extension of that fear. This seems to be a common problem for you around camp. People seem intimidated by you due to your proximity to the camp’s self-proclaimed leader. It’s infuriating and isolating. 

“It’s just… those are my favorite pair of jeans.”

You look down at the wash basin in front of you. You’d been so distracted by your own thoughts, that you’d completely forgotten about the clothes you were washing. As your mind continued to race, your hands began moving on their own accord with just as much ferocity. Your face flushes as you stare at Glenn’s jeans that you damn near scrubbed a hole into.

“Sorry, Glenn. Just zoned out for a second.”

Glenn gives you a kind smile, seemingly content with your answer.

“Don’t worry about it. Happens to everyone.”

He shrugs nonchalantly before wandering off towards Dale. You let out a relieved sigh once he’s out of earshot. Deciding that Glenn’s clothing has been through enough torment today, you pull his garments out of the wash basin and move to pin them up on a clothesline. As you attach the last article of clothing, you hear footsteps approaching you from behind. Before you can turn around, you hear a familiar voice.

“I’m goin’ out to hunt, wanna come?”

You furrow your brow. Daryl has mentioned how much he enjoys hunting alone -- how relaxing it is. It makes sense. He’s a loner by nature, so the constant presence of people in camp must be overwhelming. You don’t want to intrude on his personal time. Before you can ask him if he’s sure, you notice his eyes shift from you over to Shane and Lori.

Oh.

You might have been able to fool Glenn, but you can’t fool Daryl. He knows exactly what has you so riled up. You’re embarrassed that the younger Dixon has seen through your ruse. The last thing that you want is Daryl thinking less of you because of your envy. You want to explain yourself -- let him know that you’re not just some jealous girlfriend -- but the words get stuck in your throat, so you nod wordlessly at his offer and allow him to lead you into the surrounding woods. 

Daryl likes the quiet -- he usually finds comfort in it, but your unusual silence, while you both move through the forest, is unbearable. You’re the conversationalist. You’re the one who retells stories about your time in King County with Shane and the Grimes family, recites all the gossip you learned from Andrea and Amy throughout the day, and complains about whatever crappy meal the group was able to put together that evening. And he likes that about you. You ask him the occasional question about Merle or hunting, but you never pry. You’re the one that talks and he’s the one that listens -- simple as that.

But right now you don’t feel like talking and it’s making him anxious. He knows he should say something, but what? Sorry your boyfriend is such a jackass? He shakes his head at the thought. Real, smooth Dixon. This is uncharted territory for him. No one ever taught him how to comfort.

A rustling in the woods saves him from his attempts at starting a conversation. Daryl puts his arm out to stop you from walking in front of him, before aiming his crossbow toward the noise. He slowly moves forward and you follow his lead, knife in hand. Eventually, a walker comes into view from behind the trees. Daryl waits for a clear shot and pulls the trigger. You let out a sigh of relief as you watch the arrow sink into the walker’s skull. 

“Nice shot.”

Your voice breaks through the silence for the first time and he’s glad to hear it. He wanders over to the walker and retrieves his crossbow bolt. He wipes the tip of it off on his jeans, before looking back at you. 

“You ‘lright?”

You chew on the inside of your cheek as you think about his question -- you know he’s not asking about the walker.

“I’m just worried.”

Daryl furrows his brow at your response. He doesn’t ask why, instead, he silently shifts from one foot to the other, allowing you to continue if you so choose. 

“I feel like you’re the only person in this camp who sees me as a person and not just Shane’s girl -- I just don’t want that to change.”

Daryl shakes his head at the thought. He’s seen you do more for this camp in one day, than Shane’s ever done. It’s stupid really, how everyone treats you. And he knows that you have more to give than cleaning laundry and preparing meals. You don’t have to prove yourself to him -- the two of you are far past that. You’ve already earned his respect -- something Shane has yet to accomplish.  

“You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout that.” 

You nod at his words, but Daryl can tell that they did little to reassure you. 

“I feel the same way.”

Your brows knit together in confusion over Daryl’s words. 

“You’re the only person who doesn’t see me as Merle.”

His tone is sincere -- you know he genuinely means what he is saying. You wonder how many people have met the Dixon brothers and simply wrote Daryl off due to the brashness of his older brother. You watch as he awkwardly shifts from one foot to the other, obviously uncomfortable with the vulnerability in his words. 

“Yeah, you’re definitely not Merle.”

This causes Daryl to laugh -- actually laugh. The sound is surprising at first -- more boyish than the usual gruffness you're used to in his voice, but it’s nice. And it makes you smile brightly, knowing you’re the reason for his laughter. 

“C’mon, we should head back.”

You allow him to take the lead again, navigating through the woods once more. He might not have caught any squirrel, but the two of you are not coming back to camp empty-handed. A newfound understanding washes over the both of you, bonding you to one another.

Taglist: 

@minervadashwood

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@dreamtofus

@youcantstandit

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@prettywhenibleed

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[tswaney17]

Eternal Consolation Prize

@elriel-month | Powers & Possibilities

I've had this idea in my head since reading HOFAS (iykyk), and I'm so excited to share this one with you. Feysand are villains in this one, don't at me. It just made an interesting twist.

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Trigger warnings: Some angst and canon-compliant violence

Word Count: 2,196

This fic will be posted on AO3 only. Read the beginning below or click here to head to AO3.

Elain had thought she had known true fear. Thought she’d faced the worst of it when she’d been stolen in the night and forced into the Cauldron against her will, ultimately fucking up her entire life when she was turned.

She thought she felt it again when the Cauldron had lured her into the heart of Hybern’s camp, believing she’d never see her family again. That those monsters would do the worst to her.

Then she thought she felt it when she saw Nesta and Cassian before the King, seconds from death, only to be saved by her stepping out of a shadow and using Truthteller to deliver the killing blow to the now-dead King.

In the short lifespan of her Fae life, Elain had faced death and fear like a second skin and walked away. Somehow, she walked away.

But not this. There would be no walking away from the invisible shackles her court, her family, had thrust upon her. Words were being spoken, but she couldn’t hear them.

She was suffocating within her mind.

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~~~~~

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[t-lane-writes]

Work In Progress Snippet

WIP: Black Wings Genre: science-fiction Tag line: Humans’ efforts to terraform a planet are thwarted when some decide to save intelligent indigenous life.  POV characters: Kenaed, Zoe Irene, Mattan Nuada, Siesell Keeva Snippet from: Chapter Two, Zoe Irene's PoV

Prevous Chapter

#.

[Kenaed] worked with the Explorer Teams. The bravest and the boldest, who journeyed outside the Habitable Zone to gather necessary resources and search for samples which would help the Angerona scientists learn more about their new home. It was still a new home for their peoples, even if Zo’rene’s and Kenaed’s generation had never lived in the outer space. In fact, nowadays only the few eldest still remembered the Journey which ended seventy years ago. And even though so much time had passed, Angerona the planet, was still not a safe place for the human kind. 

One day it would, though, thanks to people like Kenaed. If Heritage didn’t exterminate them first, of course. 

No one mentioned Heritage out loud. 

“Guess it wasn’t the best idea?” Zo’rene said to break the silence which suddenly became unnerving to her. “Going out,” she clarified. “To dance.”  

“You wanted to have fun.” Kenaed shrugged. “And I wanted to be a part of that fun for you,” he added in a wistful, almost apologetic tone. 

“It’s okay,” she said automatically. 

“It is not.”  

“Look.” Zo’rene stopped him and waited for him to meet her eyes. She needed him to hear her and to understand. “We are different people than we used to be. You are different and I am different too, believe me. It was my mistake, to try and bring back the past, like the last ten years never happened.”  

Kenaed nodded and heaved a deep sigh. “You are right.” He paused like the words wouldn’t come past his lips. He let them out on a whisper, “We should just forget about this,” and added a back-and-forth gesture between them. He had doubts too. More doubts than her, it seemed. 

“No,” Zo’rene grabbed his hands. “No, I do not mean that!”  

“I’m not a good partner material, Zoe.”  

“Stop--” 

He paused, and waited for her to say something, but her head was suddenly empty. She wanted this, wanted them, but was it for a good reason? Was it because she wanted to prove something to her friends? Or because she felt physical desire? Or because she still loved him? Could she love him? If she didn’t really know him-- 

Finally, it was Kenaed who spoke first. 

“I mean it.” His voice still sounded strained and the muscles around his eyes were tense. “I haven’t been in a relationship since-- Since you, really. And I wasn’t seeking one now. I’m not--” He shook his head, helpless. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”  

Zo’rene didn’t understand. “Because of me?” she gasped. 

“No,” he mouthed. He shook his head, again struggling to say the words. “It’s hard to explain.” He breathed out, finally. 

Oh, right. Those problems she was only vaguely aware of, ones his sisters mentioned. Ten years ago-- She had her own tragedy to deal with and he had his. Whatever happened then, must have been the reason he was still alone. 

“Kenaed,” she tried, “I get it. The Flood had changed us all, it had changed the whole settlement, we were all--”  

“The Flood.” He cut in and pulled away from her. Zo’rene looked up, startled by the sudden ice in his voice. “It’s such an innocent euphemism, isn’t it?” He was scary again. A vein bulged up on his temple, droplets of sweat built up on his forehead. “You don’t have to think what it really was, do you?” His hands curled into fists and his voice started rising. “The Heritage’s attempt to exterminate all of us. Our entire population. It was the bombardment, the missile strike from orbit, that’s what it was!” He screamed the last words.

Next Chapter

#.

Thank you for reading. :)

tagging: @echo-bleu , @drippingmoon , @void-botanist , @did-i-do-this-write ,

If I tagged you against your will, I'm sorry. Just ignore this post and I'll get the hint.

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[disasterbuck]

Hi!!! Ooooh There is so much to choose 🤪🥰💕❓️💻💖🤝🤖🌎🥵

omg just go ahead and make me write everything lol (affectionate) I couldn't keep myself to strictly 3 sentences for all of these, so they vary a bit 🥰

🤪 - clumsy

first time in MONTHS I've written anything for this wip 🥰

This lasted for approximately five minutes before the bell went off and he found himself piling into the truck next to Eddie. He'd tried to slip into another seat, but Chimney had gotten there first and shot him a curious glance. After that, Buck had resigned himself to his fate and sat down beside the love and torturer of his life.

🥰 - confession / surprise date

this one ran away with me a little, how exciting!!

Eddie's lips parted in surprise as Buck began ladling the stew into their bowls. Buck was nervous, accidentally moving a bit too quick and splashing some sauce out of the bowl onto Eddie's shirt.

"Shit! Sorry," he said, moving the dish back to the island bench and taking a step to go and fetch a wash cloth.

Before he could get far, Eddie grabbed his arm and gently reeled him in until he was standing right beside Eddie's chair, looking down at him.

"Relax," Eddie said softly.

"I just want it to be perfect," Buck said. "But now I've already gotten food on you and we haven't even eaten anything yet and–"

Pushing his chair back to stand up, Eddie silenced him with a kiss.

💕 - first kiss

Eddie wasn't sure what to say to that. The truth was he was scared, but he knew he needed to face this no matter what. If Buck had picked up on enough to think they were dancing around each other, that had to mean something.

❓ - is this a date?

It turned out that there was only one table left, which Buck accepted eagerly.

"Alright, up you get," Buck said once the booking was finalised and he'd hung up the phone. "There was only one slot left and it's for 6:45, so we've gotta hustle."

Eddie let out an exaggerated groan as he got to his feet.

💻 - eddie's online friend

this is a goldmine that I completely forgot about lol. I might have to share more snippets at some point.

Stranded: so?

Stranded: are you gonna ask him if he's into men?

GI: stop asking me that

💖 - sorry but I fell in love tonight

Buck watched in delight as the fear drained out of Eddie's face, replaced with wonder.

that's all I've got in me for this one atm

🤝 - touches

The next escalation comes one evening as they're curled up on Eddie's couch together. Eddie sits between Buck's legs, his back to Buck's chest, when Buck takes a risk and slides his hands up the man's thighs. Eddie hums, happy, and tips his head back.

After that, they kiss whenever they can.

🤖 - who's got a crush

a few extra lines for this one as well 🥰

Had Buck really just said what he thought he'd said? No, he couldn't have. Eddie must have misheard.

"Sorry, what?" he asked, giving his head a slight shake.

"Oh my god, Dad!" Chris exclaimed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "He wants to have your babies!"

"Christopher!" Buck wheezed.

🌎 - alternate universe

How could he be right about when Christopher was coming back, but wrong about so many other things? Why didn't he have any memory whatsoever of getting married to Eddie? It couldn't be amnesia, because he had too many other memories all packed into his brain.

🥵 - that's hot

A moment later he heard footsteps and turned to see Bobby and Eddie walking towards him. Bobby looked extremely proud, and Eddie looked…

"Marry me," Eddie said, eyes fixed on Buck's face.

Make Me Write ✨

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[bookish-whore]

Never Made A Difference

Rhysand x Reader

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: depressive thoughts, slight angst, suggestive language, implied sa discussion

A/N: Based on the snippet of Hozier’s new song from his unreleased album on Tik Tok. I’ve been thinking about it constantly and thought it would make for a cute fluffy fic. This is also my first time writing for Rhysand so let me know what you guys think!

My Masterlist -> Here

Join My Taglist -> Here

-------------------------------------------------

Today began like any other, I opened my eyes to find that my beloved city was shrouded in a dark mist, clouds hanging low as the continuous pitter patter of raindrops hit the ceiling. In all honesty, I found the overcast sky and chill breeze comforting, the dark clouds mirrored the bags under my eyes while the smell of rain reminded me of him and all I wanted to do was throw the covers over my head and ignore the world.

But today was my birthday.

I knew that disappearing from the world wasn’t an option, and my friends probably had some extravagant dinner party planned to take my mind off today and the fact that it had been fifty years without him. Feeling sorry for myself, I made my way to our closet, running my hands over his clothes, stopping every so often to bring my nose to the fabric as if his scent would still be there.

It had been ages since the smell of rain and citrus lingered in our shared space.

I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew what day it was. I wondered if time felt longer Under the Mountain, I wondered how he spent his days, whether he was eating enough, whether he was safe. The mere thought of him so alone, in that place instantly made my eyes well up with tears. I shook my head thinking back to the last words he had said to me.

I was in the townhouse, making a cup of tea, the sound of our Inner Circle laughing in the other room when it came through. His voice roaring in my head telling me it had been a trap. That Amarantha had enslaved them, he told me to protect Velaris, to protect our people and to remain with our Inner Circle and most importantly to stay away.

Then softly with the remnants of his power he spoke only to me. I think back to those words every day. “Y/n my love, my wife, my mate…I will find you again, I don’t care if it takes five hundred years, if it takes a thousand years, no amount of time with you will ever be enough and I promise you we will have more time.”

I brought my hands to cup my face, allowing myself this moment to break down. it had been so long since I had seen my mate, felt his touch, his kiss, his body against mine. I crumpled to the floor cupping one of his shirts against my chest as I cried.

As the sobs subsided, I laid there on the floor bringing my left hand up to look at the intricate swirling tattoo that adorned my ring finger and left hand. Before our mating ceremony, Rhys and I had agreed that jewelry was too easily lost, and we wanted something more permanent, so we made a bargain and on days like today it was all I had of him, so I desperately clung to my hand and the memory of him.

A knock sounded at my door, pulling me from my personal pity party.

“y/n” Cassian prodded, his voice gentle and soft from the other side of the door.

“Come in” I said sitting up from the floor, wiping the tears from my face as the door opened

Cassian didn’t speak. He simply got down on his knees and pulled me into a tight embrace. I couldn’t help the swell of emotion and my eyes once again pooled with tears.

“I j-just miss him so much Cass” I said into his chest, fresh tears falling down my face

“I know y/n…we all do, but he’s trying to protect us. If he could communicate with us, you know as well as I do that he would be annoying the hell out of us at the first opportunity.”

I laughed at that, using my sleeve to wipe the wetness from my face. Cassian brought his hands to help, his thumbs wiping under my eyes. If anyone knew how I felt through all these years it was Cassian and Azriel, we had all bonded over the years in Rhys’ absence.

We had made a lot of progress in the fifty years he was gone. Initially, we had all refused to believe what Rhys had said at first, but Cass and Az immediately went into an unhinged stage of denial. Amren was the one to speak sense into them, getting them to calm down so that Mor and I could drug them to make sure they didn’t act irrationally. Then came the anger. Cass and Az were inconsolable, they would spar all day until their hands were bloody and their bodies practically gave out.

Mor and I resorted to alcohol, we would drink and then we would cry, and then we would break things. I decided to completely ignore the bargaining stage and moved right into depression. I don’t know how the others were coping all I knew was endless darkness. I didn’t get out of bed for weeks, I couldn’t bathe, I couldn’t eat…eventually Cass, Az, Mor, and Amren staged an intervention and Madja got involved and I started processing what had happened, that he was gone.

And that brings us to where we are now, reluctant acceptance. We all understand why he’s gone, and we all know there is nothing to be done. Some days, like today, are worse than others, but we have each other to get us through.

“Happy Birthday y/n” Cass said softly pulling a small box from the pocket of his leathers.

“You know you didn’t have to get me anything Cass” I said gently taking the box from him

“And you know that Rhys would absolutely spoil you if he was here, and as his brother it’s my job to take care of you in his absence, now shut up and open it” he said with a sly smile.

“Okay, okay”

I gently untied the ribbon that kept the box closed, opening the lid to reveal a simple but intricate oval locket, it was silver, and the front was engraved with an outline of Ramiel, her three stars shimmering above each peak, the same image that adorned the tattoo on Rhys’ knee. I gently opened it to find a photograph of Rhysand and I on the inside. I wiped away the tears that fell as I stared at the image longing for those violet eyes to sparkle with a witty comment, for his mouth to part into one of his signature smirks. I stared at the photo wishing that it was him in front of me, but for the time being this would suffice.

“Cass- I-I love it” I said softly

“He’ll be back y/n, I don’t know when, but I can feel it in my bones. I know he’s going to find a way back to us, back to you.”

“I know Cass, I just- I need to know that he’s okay. The bond…it’s just been silent for all these years I don’t know if I would feel him hurting or i-if the magic that Amarantha has Under the Mountain nullifies his ability to feel me. I have tried so hard just to feel anything and its like an impenetrable wall was put up the second he walked into that party.”

“I know” Cass said solemnly his eyes casting to the floor between us “look, because I love you I’m going to give you an hour to mope. But after that hour you are going to get up and get ready for the spectacular day we have planned for you.”

“You say that every year Cass”

“And every year we manage to lift your spirits, this one won’t be any different.”

I smile and nod my head, he was right

Cassian stood from the floor, reaching out his hand gesturing me to do the same. He helped haul me from the floor before turning and walking towards the door.

“Azriel will come get you in two hours” Cassian said, his hand lingering on the door handle “and y/n…Happy Birthday”

“Thanks Cass” I said as he opened the door and closed it shut behind him.

-----

I was slipping on my boots when Azriel knocked on the door. I could tell it was him from the distinct smell of night and cedar, that and the fact that he was always punctual and it was two hours from my conversation with Cassian to the dot.

“Happy Birthday y/n” he said as he stepped through the doorway. He was dressed in his usual leathers, cobalt siphons gleaming in the room’s dim light.

“Thanks Az” I said forcing a small smile to my face

“How are you feeling today” he asked, his shadows lazily swirling at his feet.

“Like I always do on my birthday” I say softly

“Well, Mor has outdone herself this year so like the rest of us you have to banish your self-pity unless you wish to incur her wrath” he said with a playful gleam in his eye

“Oh dear” I said with a chuckle “are we talking like outdid herself from last year or are we going to have another balloon incident?”

“Hopefully not another balloon incident, I don’t think the people of Velaris have ever fully recovered from that one” we both looked at each other and laughed

“I know its hard y/n, but we love you and you know we’ll do our best to take your mind of missing him, at least for a day”

“I know Az, I just wish he was here”

“We all do” he said “I know you do most of all, but you know he would want to spoil you and make a whole day of it, a week of it if he could”

I smiled thinking back to one year he did in fact make my birthday last an entire week. There were celebrations, parties, and so many gifts; unbeknownst to us it was the last birthday we would spend together.

“He absolutely would” I said

We both smiled, enjoying a brief moment of silence remembering all the shenanigans Rhys would create for my birthdays.

“You ready?” Azriel asked, breaking the silence as he extended his arm towards me

 “As I’ll ever be” I said taking his outstretched arm and together we walked downstairs to greet whatever it was Mor had planned.

-----

It was quite the party and Mor had insisted we all dress up for the event. She was wearing her signature red, her dress tonight was a halter style with an open back and a long skirt that flowed out at her hips, it also featured a slit up one side that exposed her leg when she walked.

I was wearing a night court black; the top of my dress was a corset with intricate detailing that resembled the night sky over Velaris. it also had off the shoulder sleeves, and it had a long skirt that trailed slightly behind me as I walked. It had been a gift from Rhys a long time ago and I had only now been brave enough to wear it, the memory of him gifting it to me made me smile rather than cry which is why I had chosen it for tonight.

Amren was in one of her two-piece outfits, a cropped silver top with long sleeves made of a sheer fabric that tightened at her wrists paired with high waisted pants of the same color that were loose and billowing with cuffs of silver around her ankles. Cassian and Azriel had also dressed up, they both wore dark pants with black boots that reached their knees, and each had a black tunic with silver and gold embroidery.

The party was small, just me and our inner circle over a nice dinner at Rita’s. Mor had bought out the space so we could have it all to ourselves. They had arranged for all my favorite foods and desserts to be made. We spent hours talking, drinking, and reminiscing over old times when we were all together.

A few hours, and a few more drinks later, it was time for cake. Which was my favorite part of these parties. This year it was a massive four-layer chocolate cake adorned with candles. We had this ridiculous inside joke to put as many candles as possible on our birthday cakes. As fae we had an eternity of birthdays, so we liked to make the most of them by creating our own chaos. This year they had managed to fit five hundred candles on the cake, at least by my estimate.

Cassian, Azriel, Mor and Amren all began singing a loud and off tune version of happy birthday as they wheeled the cake over to me.

“Make a wish y/n” Mor said clasping her hands together, a beaming smile on her lips.

“Okay, alright” I said closing my eyes tight as I made my wish.

I made the same wish every year, I wished for Rhys to return to me. I wished to see him, hold him, hear his laugh. I wished to spend my life with him. I pushed those feelings through the bond, but I was met with the same hollow feeling, there was nothing but a deep emptiness where our bond once was.

I shut down that thought as I took a deep breath and blew out the candles on the top tier of the cake, the others joined in as we all attempted to blow out the remaining candles on the other layers. We laughed as the last candle went out and served ourselves heaping portions of cake.

-----

It was a little after 3 in the morning when I returned to the townhouse. Mor had an apartment close to Rita’s, so she stayed there most nights, Amren went back to her apartment overlooking the river and Cassian and Azriel stayed at the House of Wind. It wasn’t like I could convince them to abandon their lives to help me piece together mine, even though I knew they would it wouldn’t be fair to them.

It was always so lonely coming back to an empty house full of memories of our lives together. Everywhere I looked there were reminders of him, there were pictures on the walls of our happy times, memories of early morning breakfasts on our kitchen floor and dancing throughout the house.

I lit a fire in our sitting room and made my way to our room to change out of my dress. I carefully hung it in our closet and put on one of his shirts. It was large on me and hung to my mid-thigh, the long sleeves hanging over my hands. I also put on a long pair of wool socks and made my way downstairs.

I laid on the couch in front of the fireplace curling my legs up and before I knew it my exhaustion took over and I fell asleep

-----

I jumped awake at the sound of a loud crash

I was immediately on edge, I rolled off the couch onto the floor crawling across the room I knew there was a knife on the bookshelf, it was for display, but it would do to fend off an intruder.  

I quickly grabbed the knife and stood with my back against the wall listening for the sound of footsteps. Hearing none I quietly turned the corner to find a tall figure standing at the foot of the stairs, their back was facing me which would be an advantage. I slowly stalked closer, holding the knife in a defensive position ready to strike.

Then it hit me.

Rain and Citrus.

I didn’t believe it; I couldn’t believe it.

The knife clattered to the floor as my eyes widened in disbelief. I tried to speak but the words I wanted to stay just stuck in my throat.

The figure turned around slowly his own eyes wide in recognition.

Rhysand.

My knees buckled and I collapsed onto the floor, tears streaming down my face. but he was already moving his arms wrapping around me as we both sank to our knees in the hall.

“shh…shh” he said softly tucking my hair behind my ear as his hand cupped my face. I looked up and finally noticed his face. He was pale, his usual warm brown skin a sickly white, and his eyes. They were the same shade of violet that I remembered but somehow there was a darkness to them. Like this Rhys was different than the one that left fifty years ago, and I wondered what happened in that place.

“Is it really you?” I whispered, worried that if I spoke to loud then reality would set back in, and he would be gone.

“it’s me darling” he said softly, his voice shaking as he used his thumb and forefinger to lift my chin and his eyes meet mine. I brought my hands to cup the sides of his face, needing to feel his skin on mine to know this was real.

We sat there a moment, simply staring into each other’s eyes, like we both couldn’t believe that this was real that we had found our way back to each other. I breathed him in, his scent filling my lungs and I pulled him into a kiss.

It was desperate, like we were communicating fifty years of affection within this one kiss. it was a clash of teeth and tongues, our hands roaming over each other’s bodies simply needing some kind of connection. His hand roamed up to my bare thigh and he froze, pulling away from the kiss.

“Rhys?” I asked gently “are you alright?”

He shook his head, withdrawing his touch, breathing heavily as he stared at the ground.

“I-I want you so badly, but-” he said his eyes rimmed with tears

“You don’t have to justify yourself to me my love, you know that” I said gently stroking his hair “Let’s just go upstairs, you can bathe a-and we can talk, or we can just sleep” I stood extending my hand to him, He nodded taking my hand as we made our way upstairs.

-----

We made our way to our bathroom; I thought that a warm bath might make him feel more like himself, so I led him to the bathroom where I started the water, throwing in his favorite soaps and salves and looked behind me to where he was standing, his hands gripped the counter so tightly that his knuckles were white as he looked at himself in the mirror.

I made my way over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Are you alright?” I said softly his eyes meeting mine in the mirror.

“I don’t want you to see me like this” he said softly, turning his head to look at me over his shoulder

“O-okay” I said quietly, attempting to hide the hurt in my voice “I’ll just be in the other room if you need me”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I made my way to the door, I left it open a crack and I watched in the mirror as he slowly undressed, his back facing the mirror and suddenly I knew why he didn’t want me in the room.

He has a series of deep red scratches down his back. Like fingernails.

What happened to him in that place?

I closed my eyes making my way to our bed as I waited for him to finish, a series of thoughts flashing through my head.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the door opening, as Rhysand made his way over to the bed grabbing a pillow from his side and making his way to the couch in the corner of the room.

“You’re not sleeping with me?” I asked unable to help the shakiness of my voice

“I don’t want to hurt you” he said

“You would never hurt me Rhys” I said,

"You don't know that" he replied

“What happened to you?” i practically pleaded

He froze

“I just want to help you” I said wiping a stray tear with my sleeve

“If I told you, you would never forgive me” he said his voice cracking

“You know that there is nothing you could say that would make a difference to me, I love you. you are my mate, my husband, my equal.”

“I betrayed you” he said

“You needed to survive, to find your way back to me and whatever you did, whatever happened to you wasn’t your fault” I said

And so, with a deep shuddering breath he told me everything. He detailed how he was forced to pleasure Amarantha how he was forced to help her torture people, and he told me the truth that he took their pain and made their deaths as painless as possible. Finally, he told me about Feyre, the brave human girl who had marched into her lair and saved him, saved us all.

When he was finished, we found ourselves on the bed, his back against the headboard with my head in his lap as I detailed what happened here in the time he had been away.

I could see the early light of the sun peeking through the window, and I couldn’t help but yawn, I closed my eyes but felt Rhys tuck himself behind me, his arm protectively wrapped around my middle as he pulled me into him

“You know the distance, what I had to do, none of it changed my feelings for you. and I crawled my way back here, back home, back to you”

“I know” I whispered

We drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. Now we had nothing but time, and the rest of the world could wait until tomorrow.

--------------------------------------------------

Thanks for Reading!

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Taglist (all works) -> @cherryjain17 @we-were-beautiful @moonfawnx @cityofidek @daily-dose-of-sass @marvelouslyem @moonlightazriel @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @indaybella99 @gray08 @dreamsofivy @gorgeouslysent @viradeity @kennedy-brooke @maddistyles17 @thewarriormoon @pixiestix13 @lucyysthings @a-frog-with-a-laptop

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

UPDATE

Heyyyy my sunshines!!!

I hope you guys liked the Pt3 I put out for the Maknaeline Clinginess Angst!! If you haven't read it yet check it out ;)!!! I JUST updated my Masterlist post-You'll notice there are a lot more things added onto it that I have not released yet. To keep myself more organized with requests and manage my posting more efficiently (my schedule still won't be completely set because unfortunately I'm a mood writer regardless of whether or not I have time 🥲🥲🥲) - I've decided I will start posting my TBR's. Meaning you guys will be able to see what I will be releasing - which will help me manage tags better as well. And will help those of you who like my page; who are not on my permanent taglist and want to know when I post. IF you would like to be tagged message me WHICH post you would like to be tagged on and I will be tagging the first 10 tag requests + those who are on my permanent taglist as of today- June 28th, 2024. FOR REQUESTS I will tag the person who requested the fic. The one catch is I can only really tag if you don't request anonymously. I am a judgement free zone and I want you guys to all feel safe and comfortable on my page and with me as both author and friend. So if you do have a request and you want to be tagged with your request feel free to request freely. I will NO LONGER be sharing the FIC requests via POST rather I will note the title and genre of the fic in the masterlist to - - A. Keep you anonymous EVEN IF you decide to not remain anonymous when you send the message -B. Declutter my page by minimizing posts Me not sharing requests does NOT mean I won't share any of the messages you guys send. A lot of you send me encouragement and compliments via my inbox so I will occasionally share those messages since they make me smile :) Despite me not sharing request answers and just putting them straight on the master list you can STILL choose to be anonymous when requesting. I just want to make sure you all know that you don't have to feel afraid of me judging a request or anything of that nature if you DO decide you would like me to know your user so you are automatically put on the tag list for that fic before the 10 spots are filled. It will be first come first serve for all of them so I do apologize if you don't make it onto the taglist for that fic, but I trust you'll find it at some point after its release. My masterlist post will be updated EVERY SUNDAY; so you guys can start the week with knowing what's up 🙌🙌🙌! Okay sorry for that long informational rant but here's another shorter one.

I will be dropping an Enhypen masterlist. The same rules stated above go for the Enhypen list once it is up and running. But since it isn't I will be taking 2 requests for each member and 1 request for OT7. Again- it is first come first serve so I'm sorry if I don't get to your request 😓😓😓 I WILL BE TAKING REQUESTS UNTIL JULY 2nd (sorry for the short notice 😓) FOR ENHA. Once the Enha masterlist is up and running - which will be by July 3rd my pinned post will be

THE MASTERLIST MASTERLIST (read this is Lord Garmadon's or President Business's voice idk why but it just sounds right) - this will be the masterlist to all my masterlists - which will soon be expanded out into different kpop/misc fandoms/ misc works in the future (ig; TXT, BND, ZB1, ATEEZ, potentially some anime fandoms, snippets from novels I have started to write).

BUT ANYWAYS AS ALWAYS-

Stay SAFE. Stay SANE. And most importantly-

Stay SLAYING. 💅 Love you all ☀️☀️☀️

[acourtofladydeath]

TTBW Ch 5

In "You Were Only Waiting" Nesta handles the events of the previous day the only way she can think of, and the Valkyries come to her aid. Cassian and Azriel discuss what happened, and Rhysand must face his demons.

Thank you @secret-third-thing for helping me beta this!

New CW for the chapter include drinking and alcohol. Read a snippet below, or start the full chapter on AO3!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Nesta didn’t know how long it had been since she’d fallen asleep, but she did know she’d woken between Gwyn and Emerie in an unfamiliar room. She remembered Azriel. His hands had been her tether, keeping her from falling apart completely until they’d arrived. But now, he was gone, and her friends were asleep. 

She didn’t want to wake them. Nesta couldn't fathom being more of a burden than she already had been. Numbly, she walked out of the library and made her way back to her and Cassian’s room. The halls were quieter than she expected. She didn’t know why she expected more hustle and bustle. The general had just been injured. Even worse, the general had hurt himself. That mattered, he mattered. Nesta thought there should be a lot more commotion. 

When she arrived at their room, Nesta opened the door as if everything were normal. It banged slightly against the opposite wall with the force of the motion, bouncing back softly into her outstretched hand. She hadn’t expected to see much the same as yesterday - no - hadn’t wanted to see the same. 

Cassian’s braces lay across the end of the bed, the note resting like a beacon between them. The bedside table drawer was still open, its contents strewn about. She approached the note cautiously as if the words on the page might rearrange themselves into something more seemingly, something she wanted to hear. But no. Everything was the same. 

I’m so sorry. It’s the only way. I love you both. 

The words hit her like a physical blow, and Nesta crumpled to the ground. She held the note in her hand like a delicate piece of glass. If she tried to get rid of it, crush it between her hands, it would hurt. So she cradled it like an injured bird. Maybe if she cared for it, for him. If she just tried harder…

But what Nesta really needed was a fucking drink.

Finish the chapter on AO3!

Please let me know if you would like on or off my taglist! @pippsmcgee @born-to-riot @chunkypossum @bubybubsters @queercontrarian @yanny-77 @fieldofdaisiies @iftheshoef1tz @secret-third-thing @jules-writes-stories @the-darkestminds

[ipegchangbin]

“stalling time” — sub ! dj ! bang chan snippet

i wanted to pay tribute to my first ever sub!skz au (and my first real post), so here’s a little spoiler for something i’ve worked on since the dawn of time — stalling time !

It didn’t take long for the fruit cocktail to be all swished down your throat, leaving the addicting taste of sweeter citrus on your lips and tongue. The scents you invested in stuck to your clothes and skin, only making you stand out further in the open-air beach club.

Chan looked entranced by you. Enveloped in nothing but the sight of you, hugged by your scent, pierced through the heart by how stunning you looked in your clubbing outfit. It was simple and airy, much like the cool night breeze from the shoreline. His eyes glanced at the empty glass that held your drink, refraining from licking his lips and wondering what yours probably tasted like.

He wanted to kiss you again.

You turned to Chan. “Speak any languages?”

“Yes—hey, why are you asking this now?” Chan asked back. “That’s so random.”

“Sorry, I speak small talk,” you replied with a wink.

Chan bowed his head and chuckled hard, his eyelids turning into crescents. Only then did you notice the hint of glittery eyeshadow he put on, his favorite accessory when it came to his gigs.

“Really, I want to know you better, Channie.”

The nickname left him dizzy. The alcohol in his system suddenly felt like nothing compared to how drunk he got in the way you said it. He didn’t know what you were planning but it felt addicting. Nobody had ever called him something so affectionately, bordering on both hot and cute.

“English, Korean, a bit of French, and I’m a little fluent in Sexyguytalk.”

You blinked at his last statement. “Sexy-guy-talk…?”

“Oui, mon amour.”

It took you half a second to properly process the joke, but the laugh you let out was all that Chan needed to fall even harder. Even if you slapped his thigh in the process — why did he really enjoy that? — the sound of your confused yet amused laughter became his favorite song to listen to.

He rubbed the mark you left on his thigh. He knew you did it out of habit but he got flustered.

He decided to distract himself. “Again, why’d you ask?”

“Can’t I be curious?” You simply responded.

“Trying to get close, huh?”

“Well, I don’t know, I think I warrant a little bit more after getting a free kiss from the cutie music man.” You pushed an elbow against his arm.

“Oh.” He sat up and scratched the back of his neck.

The way he looked, blushing and shy all of a sudden, made him even more irresistibly adorable. Seeing him like this gave you the urge to pet him.

Your hand made its way up to his, gracing the nape of his neck, and you petted his head. Your fingers intertwined with his hair. He straightened it earlier but it seemed to wave out in the wind; his naturally curly locks coiled incredibly loosely around your fingers.

“…Ah.”

The softest, lightest, and most subtle hint of a whimper betrayed Chan’s throat, but you heard it. Chan immediately tried to hide his reaction but you could see the panic in his eyes as he scanned your face, hoping you didn’t notice his squeak.

You did, though, and let him know it with blinks of disbelief. Chan felt like burying himself in the sand or diving back into the pool out of embarrassment.

“…You like that?” A gentle smile graced your lips. Chan subconsciously leaned further into your palm.

He was rendered speechless but you knew.

Now you knew he liked getting his hair pulled; what he didn’t know was that you enjoyed the thought of indulging in it.

this isn’t final but lmk if you want to be in the taglist :D

[blacksapphhicmaddonna]

CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything. 

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there��s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great. 

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there. 

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?” 

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.” 

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her. 

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns. 

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her. 

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do. 

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue. 

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation. 

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms. 

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up. 

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere. 

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features. 

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing. 

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed. 

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!" 

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother. 

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles. 

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them. 

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time. 

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda. 

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head. 

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps. 

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes. 

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat. 

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak. 

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen. 

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently. 

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda. 

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please." 

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it. 

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting. 

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either. 

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again. 

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste. 

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully. 

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri. 

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave. 

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste. 

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know. 

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself. 

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared. 

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri. 

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding. 

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand. 

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too. 

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make. 

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair. 

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself. 

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her. 

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab. 

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep. 

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice. 

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered. 

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too. 

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course. 

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again. 

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again. 

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off. 

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows. 

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it. 

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane. 

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped. 

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri. 

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it. 

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri. 

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them. 

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look. 

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land. 

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not. 

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded. 

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

[voided-selfships]

Technically snippet from the s/i powerpoint. Here you go heart emoji

[TAGLIST + FULL + TEXT]

TATTOOS / SCARS

Got his star and wings tattoos around the age of 17-19

Hyperion tattoo came soon after he started working for the company- along with the hexagons and fancy vault symbol

The galaxy tattoo was sometime during the events of Borderlands 2

Face scars obtained after the events of Borderlands 2

Made his prosthetic after Tales from the Borderlands- leg was injured when Helios crashed.

BODY

HEIGHT: 5’1

Right Handed

Has freckles all over- no birthmarks

Got an Echo Eye after the events of Tales [Not seen, but the port and everything is there.]

Actually really fucking near-sighted, only remembers this when he’s doing on planet missions. Tends to bring contacts.

OUTFIT

Took Jack’s jacket and watch after he died, hasn’t really parted with them since. [Normally wearing some combo of this- if not just the sweater.]

Holds any guns in his jacket, usually. Only really uses pistols so it works out. [Plus the added Anshin shield- sorry Hyperion.]

Not seen: The H earring / The fact that his shoes have pop out wheels like roller skates. / Glasses that he doesn’t wear but definitely keeps on his person.

[TAGLIST]

@fagthesis @comfycozycirrus @ghost--girlfriend @kylilah @arothroughtheheart-selfship @lovebandit42069 @love-birds-stuff @permafrown @cherry-bomb-ships

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: Call Me Icarus

Thursday, April 12th || Pre-Orders Available!

Oh wow long time no talk y'all. I had a couple things come up suddenly (burnout, midterms, work requirements, surgery, manuscript submission, starting a book directory), but now I'm back!

And boy, do I have some good news for y'all. Call Me Icarus is drafted and submitted to the publisher.

What does this mean? This means that pre-orders are up! I am publishing through Inkshares (the wonderful publishers of A God In The Shed). They take a unique approach to publishing, though, which means the ball is in the court of public opinion as far as CMI goes.

Now that the manuscript has been submitted, it has entered funding. This means I need to obtain a certain amount of pre-orders in 180 days for the book to move to publishing!

That means that right now you can go over to this website and pre-order Call Me Icarus for $10 (Ebook only) or $20 (paperback and Ebook)!

I am so excited to share this news with y'all, and I am sorry for keeping y'all in the dark for so long. I just really wanted to make sure this was actually happening before I started spreading the word lol

Anyways, we know what y'all are really here for. enjoy the snippet!

With the plan fresh in their minds, Icarus and Achilles make their way out of the back streets and into the harsh lights of Playhouse Square. Or, what remains of Playhouse Square. It had been years since the theater has seen anything other than bloody meetings and negotiations between the Elysians and dissenters. The metal archway had seen better days, the letters no longer lit up and the metal filigree had long since turned to rust. Icarus had never seen the sign up close, but he has heard legends of it when he was still in the program. This is where all major Elysian business is handled in the state. This is their hub. And that’s why Icarus and Achilles are there. If they’re going to get ATLAS’ attention, then this is the place to do it. As they walk towards the center of the square, Icarus moves behind Achilles. He needs to make it look like he’s holding the kid captive, not like they’re friends walking down the street. He won’t be able to speak from here out, he sounds too much like his father and Gods forbid if anyone were to recognize his voice. He grabs Achilles’ wrists and binds them with a bandana - lose, but still convincing from afar - before putting a hand on the kids shoulder to guide him. His other hand wraps wound the handle of his bat, swinging idly through the air at his side. Icarus can tell that people were starting to become nervous around them, passers-by no longer looking up at them as they walk past and instead giving them wide berth. That’s good, it’s good that they stay away. Icarus doesn’t want any civilians getting caught up in their shenanigans. He taps his middle finger three times against the kid’s shoulder. Even if he cannot verbally assure him, Icarus wanted him to know they were in this together

TAGLIST

@flowerprose @isherwoodj @cream-and-tea @touchingmadness @lockejhaven @marinesocks @wildswrites @the-finch-address @writingpotato07 @leighvalentin @inkspellangel @cljordan-imperium @outpost51 @alleahgrinnon

Please fill out this form to be added or ask to be removed!

[tswaney17]

Accidental Chemistry - Part 3: All the Feelings

Happy @elriel-month besties!! Wanted to kick off the celebration with an update to this AU (I know, it's been a minute). I've been struggling to write this AU and I hope to get back to it after May. So, to hold you over...enjoy! 😘

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘 Dedicated to @duskwhisperer. 💜

Trigger warnings: None, to my knowledge

Word Count: 5,305

This fic will be posted on AO3 only. Read the beginning below or click here to head to AO3.

It had been just over two months since Elain began working at the Starlight Café. She’d already gotten a handful of paychecks, opened a bank account in her name, and made her first rent payment to Azriel, per her adamant request to do so.

The first two weeks of work had been rough. She’d been low on baby supplies before her paycheck came in and she was concerned about running out before she could afford to restock.

Elain was embarrassed to admit that she was counting diapers that second week, hoping she’d have enough to get her through to payday. But then a box of diapers appeared in her bedroom when she returned home from work and she wasn’t dumb enough to not know that Azriel had caught on to her counting and gone out to buy her a pack. They weren’t even the low-cost ones, but one of the major brands that cost twice as much. She was pretty sure he could hear her crying when she found them, but he didn’t say anything, and neither did she.

But she did write him a thank you on a sticky note and stuck it next to a plate of steaming cinnamon rolls before leaving for work the next morning. And when she got home, only a single cinnamon roll was left with a new sticky note attached. Her name in his handwriting was scrawled on the yellow sheet.

Read More

~~~~~

Remember, sharing is caring! Please reblog if you liked the fic. It helps spread my work and I truly appreciate it. 💕

While I have moved most of my fics to AO3 only, I am still going to utilize a tag list here on Tumblr. This as a permanent solution and may change in the future. For notifications, you can follow and subscribe to my fanfic account where I will be reblogging updates and snippets only. You can also find me on ao3. If you would like to be added to my tag list, please leave a comment on this post.

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Taglist: 

@nikethestatue

@reverie-tales

@123moiaussi

@duskwhisperer

@zdenkah

@nyxreads

@shedoessoshedoes

@athena-85

@jasmineandshadows

@nightcourtseer

@nivem565

@debramclaren

@illyrianvalkyriecarynthian

@secretpuppyflower

@justreallybored

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@roseandshadows

@tcursebreaker

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@curiositywoman

@karsyn-b2

@elainsweetcobalt

@emilyondemand

Some tags seem to not want to link, which could be related to your visibility settings. Sorry about that!

[leiawritesstories]

a snippet

"I'm going to try to get the fic done during my break!!" famous last words, leia. let's not say things we can't complete. anyway, here's a little snippet to hopefully help with my inability to write. enjoy!!

~~~~~

Rowan eyed her drink dubiously. “You sure that’s not going to kill you?”

She rolled her eyes, taking a languid sip. “It’s my usual order, Ro, of course it’s not going to harm me. Not all of us drink boring black coffee, you know.” 

“Menace,” he teased. “Not that I want to know, but…what in all things holy is that, Ae?” 

“Iced mocha with oat milk and a pump of hazelnut.” She rattled it off with practiced ease. “Oat milk because I’m lactose intolerant and dairy will not be kind to my apartment’s plumbing, and hazelnut because chocolate and hazelnut is the best combination ever created.” 

Rowan blinked rapidly, processing her order. “So, caffeine and sugar and more sugar?” 

“Exactly!” She beamed. 

He barked out a laugh, shaking his head. “Here, have even more sugar, then, gods know I can’t control your eating habits.” 

“Glad you’re learning,” she laughed, accepting the plate. “And yes, you will be eating one of these.” 

“But I–”

“No but,” she interrupted. “Indulging yourself every once in a while doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your meal plan, Ro. And besides, Emrys would be horrified if he saw me bring someone who won’t eat pastries into his beloved coffee shop.” 

“All right, all right, I yield.” Rowan took his plate, cut the pastry in half, and took a bite, his eyes closing at the taste. “Gods, this is incredible!” 

“Told you so,” she smirked. 

“Fine,” he grumbled, pretending to look affronted. 

She snickered. “See? Drinking sad, boring black coffee does have negative side effects!” She bit into her own pastry, not even bothering to mute her soft, appreciative moan of delight. “Emrys, you are my favorite person.” 

“Ouch,” Rowan teased. “What a thing to say on a first date.” 

Aelin huffed a laugh. “So funny, aren’t you?” 

“It’s why you agreed to go out with me,” he grinned, giving her a theatrical dip of his head. 

“Mmm, yeah, me agreeing to go out with you had nothing to do with years of pining, not at all,” she deadpanned. 

He froze, coffee cup halfway to his mouth. 

Shit. 

Think before you speak, dammit! she berated herself, cheeks blooming bright pink. “Gods, I didn’t mean for that to just slip out, I’m–” 

“Years of pining?” he breathed, shakily setting his coffee down. “Aelin…Fireheart, I’ve been head over heels for you since we were kids or something.” 

It was her turn to muffle a gasp. “Are you…are you serious, Rowan?” 

“Completely.” He reached across the table and laid his hand atop hers. “I can only say I’m sorry it took so damn long to admit it.” 

“Gods.” She laced her fingers with his, a smile brighter than the morning sun breaking across her face. “What took us so long?” 

“Gods only know,” he chuckled, his joy matching hers. “Gods only know.”

~~~

TAGS: please lmk if you want to be on/off my updated taglist!

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@morganofthewildfire

@backtobl4ck

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@chronicchthonic14

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

[romanceandshenanigans]

💜? - @writingbyrenae

💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss

They leaned against the rough brick wall, catching their breath. The opening of the alley way was decidedly empty and, after a few moments of waiting, seemed likely to remain so.

She looked to Finn only to find him grinning at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way that made her melt.

"What?" she said, still breathless.

He shook his head. "I'm never going to have a quiet drink again, am I?"

He said it so fondly, she couldn't help but snort out a laugh.

Finn quickly joined her, the pair of them dissolving into undignified giggles.

It felt good to laugh. It felt good to be doing anything with Finn, if she were being honest. For the first time in since Frederick, her chest felt lighter even as she stifled for air.

Without fully realizing it, she leaned closer to him until her head brush against his shoulder. A slight flush came to her cheeks at so intimate a gesture. Institutionally, she turned upward, an apology ready on her lips. The words, however, never formed as in that same second his lips fell on hers.

She’d never heard a kiss be described as bright, but it was the best she could come up with. His lips were gentle and a little rough to the touch, but she can feel his smile making her form one of her own. It was joy itself. The lightness in her chest bloomed until she felt like she might float away. It got into her head making her dizzy as he cupped her cheek to deepened the kiss.

She let out a soft moan as she kissed him back. She couldn't help it. How could anyone resist knowing they were the source of another's happiness.

Her hands found purchase, gripping the front lapels of his jacket, earning a subtle groan into her mouth.

Every inch of her skin became aware of him; the light scrap of his stubble, the way his fingers trailed down her neck to the curve of her waist, and how he pressed his body to hers until she was trapped between him and the wall. All the while his lips never left hers, their gentle teasing turning into something harder and hungry.

"Finn...” she gasped, the need for air overwhelming her.

The sound of his own name finally broke through, pausing his movement. She could still feel his warm breath tease at her lips, as he caught his breath.

Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking as he met her gaze. God help her, she could drown in those eyes and never feel a thing. They had turned somehow even the darker, appearing near black in the dim light. The effect would have been frightening, if such eyes belonged to any other man. But Finn was too open, too vulnerable for her to feel anything but the need to crawl inside him and make a home there.

Fortunately or maybe unfortunately, he shifted his focus downward, traveling down her face, lingering a moment on her lips before falling on where his hands were currently placed. Only then did he seemed to realize exactly what they had been doing.

"I'm sorry," he said, closing his eyes hard as if trying to shake himself out of it. "I shouldn't have done that."

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I have a habit of over writing when I really don't have time to write at all. 😅

Send a Heart & Ship for a brief Snippet

taglist below the cut

@clairelsonao3 and @auroramagpie