#no scary hate or ill cry please

[azuureal]

heres a coloured sketch that i really wanted to paint but i just couldnt cause of university :c

[johnwickb1tsch]

I demand when John met Helen (please?🥺)

Anything for you, my love! 😘😘😘

(this is an outline-ish thing from...last january? I don't know if ill ever truly write it out, so here's the whole caboodle)

warnings: violence, serious amts of shmoop

Helen goes to a rare book shop curious if they can fix the binding of her dog eared copy of Jane Eyre. They quote her an insane price. She has a meet cute with John in the shop. Maybe she's looking through the classics, trying to find a copy of Jane Eyre so she doesn't destroy her other one more. Maybe she tells him she can't afford to fix her copy. She brought it in to ask. He is sheepish about it, but he says he could fix it for her. “What would you charge?” 

“Nothing. It's a hobby for me. I do it for relaxation.” 

“Wow. Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. You'd be doing me a favor. I could use a new project.”

She cants her head, looking at him. Weighing him. He finds himself standing up a little straighter, hoping he'll make the cut. 

“Ok. But you at least have to let me buy you lunch.” 

“I would like that,” he admits. 

“Deal.” She holds out her hand to shake. He takes her small hand in his, and doesn't want to let go. 

So he fixes her book. 

They go to lunch. And when it's time to part ways, they don't really want to. They go for a walk. And keep talking. He shyly asks if he can take her to dinner. She agrees eagerly. They fall in love in the span of a week, or maybe just that one perfect day. 

They have a date set but John has to text her to say he's not feeling well. She offers to bring him soup. He says that sounds amazing, but he doesn't want her to see him like this. In truth, he was working, and things got out of hand. He's told her he works in security. But she is not prepared for how he looks. 

Black eye. Cuts on his face. Bruised ribs. Bruises everywhere, really. 

She worries that he's trying to break their date. Making up an excuse. He can hear it in her voice. Scared he’ll lose her, (and wanting badly to see her) he agrees to let her come over that night, not sure how it will go. 

He thinks about his Manhattan apartment. Expensive, modern, very few personal touches. He's afraid she'll hate it. 

When she comes over with takeout she is shocked, and teary eyed. Seeing him in pain like this hurts her. 

“Oh my god, John, what happened to you?” 

“Sometimes, my work gets a little...spicy?” 

Lol. She just looks at him. That look. 

“I'm guessing you can't actually tell me what happened.” 

With a sad smile he shakes his head. “I want to share everything I can with you,” he admits. “But some things, it's better you don't know.” 

She chews on her lip as he tells her this. He wonders if this will be their deal breaker. But in the end she nods. “Ok, John. I trust you.”

Hearing that makes him feel better than the pain pills he'd taken earlier. 

“We could...watch a movie?” he offers, thinking snuggling with her in his arms might fix him. 

“Okay.” 

He falls asleep halfway through, and she holds him, looking at his wounds. He looks so boyish and innocent in his sleep. She fights not to cry. 

To make up for ruining their date night he offers to cook her dinner. Afterwards they kiss, in front of the window, the lights of New York shining down below. He pulls her against him, squeezing her in his strong arms like he can't get enough of her. It steals her breath away, she wants him so much.

Later,  they're out and about. She hugs him under his suit jacket, feels a blocky shape at his back. “Are you...carrying a gun?” 

“Honestly, I'm usually carrying a gun,” he admits.

After the business that went sideways, he doesn't want to get caught unawares. He can tell she doesn’t like it, but trusts him enough to go along with it. 

“Ok…”

Something happens where she gets to see him in action. It's awesome... and scary, honestly. Maybe they're walking to his car when they're ambushed by five guys. The leader is like, “Evening, John.”

“This isn't a good time, Mickey.”

M looks between Helen and John with a leer. “No time like the present, I say.”

They fight, and John lays them all out. In the end he’s taken Micky’s gun and is about to shoot him in the face. It's instinct and reflex. Finish the job. But he hears a gasp behind him. Looks to see Helen looking terrified. So he disassembles the gun. Drops all the bullets into Mickey’s face before throwing the pieces at him. 

“Come on, sweetheart, let's go.” They drive away. She is in shock. 

Afterwards, they go park somewhere with a view of the city below. She is only looking at him though. “I scared you,” he says. It's not really a question. 

“Yes and no,” she answers honestly. “I don't believe you would ever hurt me.” 

“Good. It's the truth.” 

“But I…” She trails off.

“It's OK,” he sighs, feeling so tired inside. “You can say it.” 

“I'm not sure I really believe your job is legal, John.” 

He sighs and looks at the steering wheel. “You... might be right about that.” 

She nods. His heart is in his throat. This is it. This is how he loses her, he's convinced. And she has every right to leave. He never had any business pursuing her in the first place, but…it feels like dying. 

He waits for the axe to fall, his eyes squeezed closed. 

“I don't know how to reconcile the man I saw today, and the man I know who repairs books, and cooks me gourmet dinners, and takes me on long walks while holding my hand.” 

John rests his forehead on his steepled fingers. “I’ve...never really had a choice. I was trained from childhood, to do what I do, for very bad people. It doesn't excuse me...but it is what it is. Maybe I enjoyed it, once. I am not a good man. But now…” He looks at her, with the look of a drowning man. “I would give anything, just to have you.” 

There are tears in her eyes too, he realizes. 

“Do you have to do it, forever?” she asks. “Is there no way out?” 

He shakes his head, to himself as much as her. “It's very rare,” he tells her. “And very difficult.”

She nods, and moves closer. “Will you hold me?” 

“Always.” 

He pulls her in close, thinking he could die happy like this, with her in his arms. 

Later, he asks point blank. He has to know, he can't contain it. “Are you leaving me, Helen?”

He's so certain the answer is yes. She'll try to let him down softly. I'm not sure I can do this. It's not you, it's me. 

He can hardly believe his ears when she answers, “You're not getting rid of me that easily, John Wick.”

He's not sure if the sound he makes is a laugh or a sob. He kisses her, desperate for the affirmation of her love, hardly able to believe his luck. He feels like his heart might explode, for all the love he feels for this woman. 

“I love you so fucking much,” he growls as he kisses her like he might devour her. 

Likewise, she tells him with tears in her eyes and her fingers in his hair. “Don't stop kissing me.” 

“Never,” he tells her. 

The next week he finds himself buying a ring. 

And the week after that, he finds himself bargaining with Viggo Tarasov, his freedom in exchange for slaughtering all of the boss’s rivals in one mad night of mayhem. 

If anyone can do it, it’s John Wick.

[luckyollieboy]

Shared Nightmare

» Pairings/Characters:

GN!Reader × Jin Kamurai.

» Contents/Warnings:

Kind of angst. Nightmares and mental illness. Implied CSA from the past on the readers part. Also hints that Jin watched his mom commit suicide. Touchy feely. Jin might be OOC idk, let me live my fantasy. Hurt Comfort kind of thing. OMG they're sharing a bed, so scandalous!!! Uhmmm, idk what else. Enjoy I'm sleep deprived homie (and desperately want Jin). ||EDIT: Hello humans I'm finally rewriting this because I am not letting a bunch of people read this and like it when it's horrible||

Fog.

Everything was fogged. A black endless pool of nothing and the smallest bit of fog stretching on forever. Despite the seemingly harmless scene, my anxiety spiked. My heart pumped hard making my ears ring as I looked around frantically.

No. Please no—

That familiar feeling crept up my throat, suffocating acidic sensation of panic. Head to toe my body burned, not like a fire, but like the closest of ice. Everything felt wrong. I knew why. Of course I did, I knew this scene very well infact. Which is why I was begging the inky darkness to spare me, to let me dream of something I knew I couldn't have tonight.

The warmth of tears slid down my cheek and I turned on my heel and ran, ran as if something was coming to kill me right in that moment, like a scary monster was hidden in the darkness.

There was a monster hidden.

And it was going to catch me no matter how far I ran, how much I begged, no matter what it would catch me. It couldn't be stopped.

The faster I ran the more I could see.

The house.

Oh God, the house. Not this place, not tonight please.

Within a matter of second I hear that laugh.

That fucking laugh.

Clear. Closer.

Not again.

Closer. Clearer.

Please.

I busted the front door open and ran to the bedroom, knowing that I wouldn't be safe. I never will be, but I try anyways. I froze in the room, not sure where to hide.

That pause costed me everything.

Those fucking hands, touching my skin.

It felt like how a vile rotting corpse smelled.

This has to be what death felt like. Nothing else can explain this suffering.

The sobs shook my body as I knew I couldn't do anything, nothing, fucking nothing.

I was that small child again, my childhood pajamas, the color I use to love that I now hate burned my eyes. No, the tears are what burned. Invisible scars were left as the tears slipped down my childhood face.

That voice pierced my ears, clawing my brain the way a bear would when threatened.

I wanted to scream, yell for my guardian— for anyone really.

I was turned around and I shut my eyes. I refused to remember that face.

I don't want to, please.

Every touch felt like a part of my soul was stolen, all of it was robbing me.

The bed, the one I use to feel safe in now turned into my biggest fear, was now touching my back.

If I could scream, or fight, or anything.

No.

No.

NO.

NONO

NONONO

NONONONO—

"NO!!"

I felt arms wrap around my cold sweaty body, I started to struggle against them until I heard his voice. It was thick, sleepy, and scared. Jin.

"I'm here."

The arms squeezed me closer and I felt the trembles. I sucked in a shaky breath, trying to not cry as I whispered back, "I'm here."

I cringed ever so slightly at the rawness of my voice, his face was buried into my back. If I was a fool I would have never noticed the small trembles in his arms as he held me. I shut my eyes as I took one last deep breath. Looks like we both had a nightmare this time.

I gently turned around and held him close to my chest. Frosthiem was always too cold to have crickets, but the wind replaced that sound at night. I had gotten Jin a wind chime not too long after meeting him, we had a small struggle putting it up in the window, it was gently playing it's song now. I shut my eyes and buried my head into his hair, that cold fresh smell of his shampoo grounding me further.

"Was it...about her?" I muttered softly against his head, my fingers gently scratching his scalp.

He nodded gently before his thick scratchy voice spoke, "I woke up before you. Same one tonight?"

I nodded against his head. His strong arms squeezed me tightly before he rolled over onto his back, eyes closed and arm over his face. I shifted to lay on his bare chest, his heartbeat slowed the longer we laid there. His hand traced small circles across my back and arm in a soft gentle motion, betraying how he acted any other time.

I knew he only acted like he was so high above me and he only wanted me around as a servant, he couldn't bring himself to love me fully without some sort of barrier. But moments like these, only the two of us would know, we let the acts fall and just... Were.

Nothing special. Nothing dramatic. No expectations. Just us. Real us. Nothing more nothing less.

The softest, almost timid sounding words fell from his lips, "I love you..."

My heart throbbed and my anxiety left fully as I mumbled against his chest, "I love you."

He gently used his finger to tilt my head up, his eyes raw and puffy, the softest and most beautiful facial expression on display for me. Only me.

His eyes said a million words he couldn't say verbally, promises he knew he couldn't keep, and pleas only I could understand.

My fingers grazed his cheek, his eyes fluttering closed at the action. I leaned in and pressed my lips against his softly and he returned the favor.

In this cruel nightmare, we have each other.

[tales-of-wocdes]

i hope im not asking for spoilers but what this game is actually about like living with trauma in the orpanage or something more? Because tbh im really curious about the story but im not really sure what else it can be about (please dont take it as hate😭😭) i was thinking like - learning magic and defeating the bad guy at the end of ch2 but i dont really think this game will be focused that much on revange/fighting.

Anyways im sure whatever youll create ill amd many more people will be happy because its so well written that i feel like you could just write a 1000 word story about a rock and id be so invested ill cry (youre an amazing writter and im glad im able to see your art)

Thank you! It is surreal to hear people say things like that. I'll see about the rock story at some point....

No worries, I am not so easy to offend :D It is a good question. And the answer is scary. Because it makes me doubt if we ever get there. Because the answer is that it is both about living with the trauma, and something more.

You can read the pinned post for some idea about the "overall" direction that is planned.

The rest will talk about what I would imagine the structure to be like and what I have divided it into in my notes. Read at your own peril. And also know that this is a very long term plan.

--------------------------------------------------------------

So the basic idea is that we have these "acts"

Where MC is at this age. The current act. The start of the journey so to speak. Getting used to life outside the "void". Everything is odd and new. Possibly a short time skip (weeks, months) during this act; or just make it into a new act.

2. MC is still a child but a couple of years into living at the orphanage. Basically the "living with trauma in the orphanage". This would be the phase where say MC is used to living at the orphanage, might get to venture out into the city. Is getting lessons about normal stuff.

3. MC is a teen/young adult in training. MC is actively in training and learning to fight.

4. MC is an adult. (The name of the IF and the pinned post do state what MC is supposed to become). MC goes out into the world with some companions to fulfill their duty.

Now does this make sense? There is a bigger background story but you can't really tell too much about it from this outline :D That bad guy at the end of C2 is supposed to start setting up some of the bigger background. Though I will freely admit, that it might be a tad too early for that interlude... but I can just move it a bit later if needed. I had it written so I included it :D I do things like that.

And this is not at all locked into stone. It is massively ambitious, meant to span a long time. I have already been quite honest that my outlines suck so who knows what will happen :D

I am taking it one day at a time, and refusing to worry about it too much :D Chipping away at it one tiny piece at a time.

[maghrabiyya]

Question for anyone else with M.E or with a condition similar where INTENSE FATIGUE is experienced:

Do you guys ever struggle so hard to wake up in the mornings that it makes you wanna cry? I describe this to my loved ones as having to climb the tallest mountain, and in order to wake up I need to reach the very top of that mountain.

It takes me so long to wake up, I consciously want to be awake and there are moments my eyes flicker open and I'm conscious, I literally think "Okay, I'm getting there, must keep fighting to be awake" - but it takes me hours and several tries.

Sleep pulls me back in and I struggle to escape. It is horrible. I know to non chronically ill people, the idea of sleeping so much must sound nice. But it is horrible. I hate it. I hate being a slave to sleep. It's so scary. I literally feel sleep pulling me back in and I'm like no no no please let me wake up.

When my M.E was severe, I experienced this constantly, every single day. My M.E has become moderate/mild, I've experienced this less and less.. until this last week. It has been every day.. again.

[skazoo]

slow and blue and endless.

↳ kim taehyung x f!reader

someone stared at you through the window. you had always felt safe in your own home, shutting out the scary, real world. but a window is just glass, and glass… oh it breaks so, so easily.

length. 1.7k

genre. angst, yandere

warnings/tags. language, obsessive behavior, implied stalking, yandere themes, mind break, emotional manipulation, love bombing(?), mention of mental illnesses, physical violence, kinda gruesome allusion to murder, dark themes overall, minors advised to dni.

networks. none for this.

notes. [THIS IS A REPOST BC TUMBLR TAGS WON'T WORK AND I ALMOST CRIED<;3]

GAH these photos are so 80s serial killer making a creepy videotape that's gonna get edited in a true crime documentary coded...... i know you're seeing my vision, i KNOW it.... anywayyyyyy this is kinda not proofread, and i wrote it while i was supposed to be studying for my exams a while back!! because when am i inspired if not when i shouldn't be?? i hope you like it and i swear something is almost ready for me to publish please wait a little longer (for my engenes and atiny besties)

⚠️ it goes without saying that i in no way condone any obsessive/stalking/creepy/violent behavior and despite this being "x reader" i'm not in any way romanticizing anything i'm writing. also this, as you all know, is fiction and names are merely a narrating mean. ⚠️

i'm desperate for feedback and i love comments with your opinion!

(cross-posted on ao3 only)

navigation

in a way you’ve always loved him. he knows. you don’t even have to say it out loud for him to be happy. 

but sometimes it feels like you take him for granted. sometimes you make him really, really angry and that, he can’t let pass. and it's not for his sake but for yours. always everything for you. he has to make you understand that there are things you can’t do if you want to stay safe from the outside world. safe from him, sometimes.

running away is one of those ugly, wretched things you know well he hates, and he slams you against the wall and drags you back through the front door into the house by your hair, he bashes your head on the kitchen counter, near the fire of the stove he’s been preparing lunch with to make you understand a concept you're apparently too dumb to grasp.

“what the fuck did i tell you about running, uh?” seething with undiluted rage .

“i just wanted to go outside, tae. i swear!”

“i said what the fuck did i tell you about running!? do you understand how much it would hurt me to see you go?!” his voice booms inside the walls of your head, an endless echo that makes bitter tears gather at the back of your eyes and spill over.

your face is burning. tongues of fire lick at your cheeks, a scorching caress that reminds you of taehyung's. his palm always leaves a brand behind, reminding him and yourself that he’s there. 

your hands scramble for his in a miserable attempt to lessen his hold. “i’m sorry, tae! so sorry, please! please!”

his closed fist in your hair pushes your head closer to the heat. “i’ll fucking kill you if i have to, you know that right–” it’s not a question, merely a promise, but you nod anyway, frantically, desperately– “they’ll never stop finding your body, baby. do you understand?” he screams and shakes you with his hands tight in your hair when you only cry in response.

“i said,” leaning in, mouth brushing over your ear. chills go down your back as his voice turns sickeningly mellow as if he’s whispering sweet nothings instead of threats, “do you understand?”

“yes! yes! god, yes i understand! tae, i’m so sorry! it’s all my fault! it’s all my fault!”

your mindless babbles seem to humor him and he moves your head at a safer distance. “and why is that?”

“ ‘twas my fault! i put myself in danger if i run. tae, please! i’m so sorry!” 

and you cry and cry and cry until you have nothing to give. until there’s only emptiness in your head that’s resting on his shoulder. until his shushes really feel reassuring. until he sits you down at the table to eat the lunch he prepared, the one that was so close to killing you. you nibble on it, too weak to really even taste the flavors.

he breaks the empty silence between you with a question. you startle at the sound of his voice and force your heavy eyes to focus on him.

“aren't you curious? about why i chose you?”

“no.”

he scrunches his eyebrows and regards you with a slightly displeased look that has you shrinking back on your chair. 

“but i want to tell you…” he whines.

you don’t say anything about his antics. despite him behaving like a child you’re terrified of what his reaction would be if you actually treated him like one, so you press your lips together and wait. 

“i like people that like me.” and it’s so simple how he says it. obvious, even.

“but why do you think i like you?” quietly, meekly.

he seems to like the question, his boxy smile one full of teeth that in other circumstances you would have found endearing. now it only makes him look like a predator, an animal, drool dribbling down his fangs, jaw ready to snap close around your neck if —and ultimately, when— you say or do the wrong thing. 

“oh, i was so happy, Y/N,” he coos, your name curling in his mouth with ease, as if you’re always been around each other, as if it belongs there, “that when i chose you, you came with me.”

your mouth gapes open at the absurdity of it all. you wonder if he really thinks that you wanted all of this, that you wanted to be taken from your home. you’d ask your old psychology professor if you’d be correct to label him as a narcissist of sorts. a man with too much power, and free time, and loneliness to exhaust all on himself that he had to go around looking for a scapegoat for his secret misery.  

“i didn’t– i didn’t come to you, taehyung. i didn’t have a choice.”

“so you were almost forced to come?”

“no,” it comes out more as a question than an answer and you lower your head in search of a way to rationalize the conversation at hand, “i was completely forced–”

“that’s what you tell yourself,” he retorts before you can even finish your sentence.

“it’s what i know is true,” you spit somewhat offended by his insinuation.  

his smile is a sick thing when you raise your head from the food on your plate —cold and uninviting. the smell alone makes you want to throw up. 

“are you sure?”

your anger leaves space for an unnerving sense of confusion. “what does that– what?”

your frown deepens as you watch him play around with his lunch. you follow his hands pushing back his glasses on his nose. the sick look of complacency that dances on his face seems to speak words that make the hairs at the back of your neck raise in dreadful anticipation. i know something about you that you don’t, his eyes say, and that alone is enough to make you want to scream.

he knows nothing!, you’d be shouting to the usually calm neighborhood, i haven’t told him anything about myself. he can’t know anything! he knows nothing! he knows nothing! you’d holler to the kids walking home from school hand in hand with their mothers who’d be looking at you with contempt, unaware of who lives among them. a wolf in sheep's clothing that could easily make you look like a psychopath. 

you’d do it, you swear to yourself that you’d do it all if it weren’t for the fact that you’ve got the inkling fear that you’ve truly gone mad. the doubt that crawls on your back and makes its way in your ears, slithering then, with much glee into your delusional brain.

how long have you been in this house? his house or the one you bought together once you finished college? did you meet him on a slow rainy day outside a coffee shop or did you catch him staring at you from the window before he broke in and took you from your bed, leaving behind torn sheets and a broken frame with a picture of your friends? does your mind deceive you? are you sane? is he?

it feels like you've had this exact same conversation with him an infinite number of times, always stuck in a loop of unease and sadness that you really can’t explain. loving looks sent your way melt into scary grimaces sometimes and all you can feel is guilt because that’s tae. your tae. the man you chose, the man that chose you.

you realize your vacant eyes are crying when you feel a thumb swipe your cheek with a gentleness that makes your stomach churn in disgust and again a voice tells you that there’s something wrong with you.

“baby, are you alright?”

the way you look at him does nothing to the sick warmth brewing in his stomach. your shiny little doe eyes peeking up at him from under wet lashes, asking for forgiveness that taehyung would never deny you. nose red from the frustration of being lost in your own mind and mouth parted as if to ask him to show you the way, the truth that you seem to have lost.

he stands up and rounds the table to you for you to bury your head in his chest. sobs shake your tired form.

“shh, it’s okay, baby. i swear everything it’s okay. it happens to forget.”

“i’m sorry, tae,” you plead through broken breaths. “i’m so sorry, please.”

he shushes you. lips plant themselves in the crown of your head, a hand rubs at your back soothingly.  

later, in the late evening, you lie in your bed. a bed. the sheets smell of him and the air you breathe does not feel like the one you're used to, but you’re calm. you think you are. maybe.

soft snores sound from behind you and you attempt to turn your head to make sure it’s him. 

“tae?” you let out a whisper. not one that expects itself to be heard.

“yeah?” voice hoarse from sleep.

“nothing.”

he buries his nose in the hair at the nape of your neck, inhaling the shampoo he bought for you. “what?”

“just wanted to make sure you were still here.”

“i’m always here, baby.”

you hum.

minutes pass slowly, like molasses, as if the hand of the seconds inside the alarm on your nightstand is fighting an invisible force, a wall of rubber that threatens to bounce time back. you think he’s fallen back asleep. breath slowing, chest heaving, lulling you to slumber.

you close your eyes. “tae?”

he doesn’t answer. a car alarm sounds from outside the closed curtains, its prolonged blaring bringing a certain agitation in your otherwise silent night. a breath of summer wind leaves bumps on your skin in its wake. you sigh and his arms tighten around your torso. an unconscious gesture, soft, loving.

“i dream of you–” you let your words sink into the air, into the boiling water you carry around in your lungs that doesn’t let you breathe properly, and you shiver again but not from the chill bite of the wind “–and it’s slow, and blue, and endless.”

behind you, taehyung’s mouth stretches into a smile.

in a way, you’ve always loved him. he’s certain of it now as he was before. and even if you didn’t, he will always make sure to make it a reality, one way or the other. wether you want it or not.

taglist: @taevestr @fa1ryjoons @vcutvante

[ghostkingdoesstuff]

A friendly reminder I am not to be held accountable for the things I'm about to say. Percy Jackson Season 1 FINALLY (SPOILERS BUT THAT'S THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS)

The visceral noise I made eating popcorn as Luke said "look you didn't ask to be a half-blood" caused an earthquake in Alaska, I'm sorry I was facing northwest.

"Riposte" I'm sorry, no I'm sorry no-

Also, the background of the sword fighting scene was very pretty.

Poseidon showing up for his son!!! Letts gooooooo! THE WEIGHT OF THE OCEAN UPON YEE!!!

Right in the heel, it's gotta hurt!

Percy asked his uncle to please return his mom, wholesome family gold.

"He'll kill you." "I done to stop running from monsters." "You're gonna need all the luck you can get." The show gets why these two work. Friends before anything else.

Glory as a theme is something that I like that the show highlights more. But Grover is right. at least send an insurance email or something. A quick "on my way, please don't kill anyone"

Dropping the master bolt on some poor dudes desk, legendary.

Olympus is so fucking beutiful omg

I'm gonna cry if Luke and Percy are in the same scene as each other in this episode again. ILL DO IT! THAT'S A THREAT!

The dead silence, I'm shitting omg... yes I know what happens and?

Followed by "I didn't steal it! Neither did any of my friends" IM GONNA CRY! IM GONNA DO IT

The pin strip suit, the sky blue paisley tie, the presence, the voice, THE KING OF THE GODS PEOPLE

Lotta talk for someone so small and scary

POISIDEN GETTING BETWEEN HIS SON AND HIS BROTHER I'M GONNA THROW UP

POSIDEN AND ZEUS SPEAKING GREEK I'M GONNA PISS

THE SEA DOES NOT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED (🎶BRING ON THE MONSTERS BRING ON THE REAL WORLD!!!🎶)

SALLY JACKSON TEACHING PERCY GREEK I'M GONNA-

"Of course we dream. why do you ask?" "Do you ever dream about mom?" ;-;

Thalia looking strudy as ever.

"Ready?" NO FUCK YOU NO

Another reminder I am not to held liable for anything I might say, you need only see how many times I've listened to "Last day of Summer" from The musical to understand how much I've thought of this moment in fictional time.

Confirmation that Luke was indeed what mattered most in the end? I'm gonna make myself cry shit-

Honestly, this Percy might be too smart for his own good. Bro's never gonna live this heartbreak down.

"You...I'm here to recruit." I- fucking- AHHHH

"OUR WAY OUT" RICK YOU BASTARD I HOPE YOU ROT IN ASPHODEL

"Stop saying "we"!" "It’s the word Zeus fears the most."

AND SHE HEARD EVERYTHING! Wasn't she supposed to be watching Clarrise? He'll, if Percy could figure it out, I'm sure Annabeth would. It's worth it to see that LOOK on Luke's face. I'm sorry. Feel the weight of your actions, man.

Miss my old friend the pit scorpion but I also like my new friend "the first scars we gave eachother"

He knows Luke won't hurt him physically, but the psychic damage hurts more and has lasting status de buffs.

"Just be a kid" that's it

"I'll find you" that's it

Promising to meet again next summer...Percy just you wait.

THE FAKE OUT OF A LIFETIME

"Grandpa" "don't call him that"

They are the ultimate mother son duo

BLUE PANCAKES!

Kinda hate that Sally didn't intentionally do a murder, or at least she has a lot more possible deniability now, but I hope she still makes a sweet sale on that sculpture!

And that's it! Fuck it's over what to do now... RE READING THE LIGHTING THEIF LIFE BLOG COMING SOON! As well I'll probably drop a summary of my thoughts on the whole season at some point soon! Happy Finally, y'all! Can't wait to see the discorse!

[animeprincessforever]

Lady Tamayo X Dead Human Child Reader Together Again

Child can be boy or girl whatever you are! Enjoy!

-WAY BACK WHEN TAMAYO WAS HUMAN-

YEARS AGO

Your POV:

It was a normal day at home. I was cooking, mom was resting due to her illness and dad was at work. As I finished making shrimp and miso soup for my dinner as I walked to Mother’s room however I heard an unrecognizable voice. ‘Who is that?’ I thought. I peaked to see a man that looks like MICHEAL JACKSON?!?! (LOL HAD TOO SORRY) ‘is that Micheal Jackson? The king of pop? Why would a man like that be in our house? Is he paying my mother a visit to hope she gets well?’ Millions of questions flooded through my head. When I looked through the door the man was gone. ‘Maybe I am seeing things’ I thought I went into my mother’s room and gave her dinner. “Anything else you need mother?” Mother looked at me and weakly coughed “everything is fine my love. Thank you.” 

“Are you sure mother? Who was that man? Is everything okay? Was th-“

”That man was a ‘old friend’ of mine and came to discuss some things so no need to worry my dear (Y/n).”

I sighed and nodded “good night mother. Enjoy call me if you need anything. I love you mother!” as I walked away and got ready for bed and got in my pjs.

The pjs: www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwj3rZOpycCEAxXXAa0GHWONAIMYABAtGgJwdg&ae=2&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI962TqcnAhAMV1wGtBh1jjQCDEAkYBSABEgKUJfD_BwE&sig=AOD64_0V0NGtiEtgMiZwRpUZObJYCEkMnA&adurl&ctype=5&ved=2ahUKEwimj4GpycCEAxU0O0QIHUKbDYcQp6wHegUIARDwAg&nis=8

I was nice and comfy as I sat on the couch and waited for father to get home. When father greeted me I hugged him and said good night. So I went to bed.

TAMAYO’S POV:

My husband lied beside me asleep. I got up and went on my balcony and side. ‘I feel weaker and weaker. Is it almost my time? T-o d-I-e?’ I thought till I heard that man named Muzan again. “It’s not to late for my offer you know?” He said. “How exactly does this cure work?” I said. He looked at me and smirked and said “like magic” I was desperate I thought about my beloved child ‘if I die I’ll miss things’ I thought and so I looked up at him and said “I agree to your deal.” All the sudden I felt weird as my body felt like it was changing. ‘What’s happening?!?!’ I thought. All the sudden this hunger came inside me and I did something unthinkable. I attacked and started devouring my beloved husband. I tore him to shreds and ate him. ‘STOP! STOP! STOP PLEASE!’ I thought and begged but I couldn’t control myself. I hear my child coming ‘NO GO AWAY (Y/N)! DON’T COME GO AWAY!” 

YOUR POV:

I was a woken from a blood curdling scream coming from my father I jumped out of bed and ran to their bedroom. As I opened the door my eyes widen to the scary sight of my mother?!?! NO! A MONSTER! Killing my father. When the thing looked at me I gulped as I realized it was my mother. “Mom?!?! What are you doing?!?! Is everythi-“ I screamed as she attacked me and things went black.

BACK TO PRESENT

POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR SKME

TAMAYO POV:

I thought about my beloved daughter and husband. I hate myself everyday for it. However today is the day I am working with Shinobu to make a potion that will permanently destroy him. 

CLIP FOR REMINDER: twitter.com/tanijrou/status/1234157626633707521

As I slowly left I saw my beloved child and husband smiling “we were waiting for you mom” my daughter said. I replied “why?” My husband said “did you really think we will let you go to hell without us? We love you.” My daughter hugged me and I started to cry and apologize over and over again. My daughter said “we don’t blame you mom. We love you after all we are together as a family again.” I smiled as flames slowly appeared bringing me, my husband, and beloved child into the cruel darkness where I was forced to go. ‘Why did they forgive me?’ I thought. As my daughters words “we love you” repeated over and over in my head I smiled as we faded away together.

THE END 

TYSM FOR READING

[gamerchrissgf]

𝖍𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖘𝖊 - 𝖈.𝖘

A little blurb while i work on sum other stuffs

The triplets and reader go to an old abandoned haunted house. Chris thinks its a good idea to scare reader!

Scared!reader, prankster!chris, swearing, reader gets an injury (thanks to chris)

۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵۵

“Yea there is no way in hell I’m stepping foot in this house” you say turning around trying to walk back towards the car. Feeling a hand grab your shoulder you look and see Nick “Please stay? If we decide to split up chris can go with you.. is that okay?” He asks looking back at the boy in questioning.

“Yea I’m cool with it as long as she is” he says looking at you. “Okay but the second either of you try something stupid I’m swinging.” You say with a straight face.

Matt chuckles “you couldn’t even fight yourself out of a wet paper bag kid, let alone would you actually swing on us” he states still laughing at you. Oh so he thinks I’m joking.

“Ask chris. I got a mean right hook Matthew. Chris found out the hard way when him nick and I went to that house party and he thought it would be funny to try throwing me in the pool.” You say looking at chris the little bruise on his jaw still evident. You didn’t mean to hit him as hard as you did. But to be fair you thought it was some random dude manhandling you.

“Yea yea kid. You got hands or whatever can we go now?” Chris asks trying to avoid the bullying he was about to receive from his brothers for getting his shit rocked by a girl. Let alone you.

Walking up to the door it was locked. “Great can we go now?!” You say looking that the three boys. “No way in which means we dont need to be here.” You add. “Hold up i have an idea” chris says. Backing away from the door. He kicks the door open.

“CHRIS” you matt and nick yell in unison. “There is absolutely no fucking way you just did that. Moms definitely going to put a new mugshot up for you for destruction of property” Nick says causing you to laugh remembering the mugshot pics they took to give their mom for Christmas.

“Oh please. Could have said a bear did it. Or that it was already kicked in before we got here” I mean he’s not wrong. This house was always known for being broken into. I mean it’s also the oldest home in town, had belonging to a sweet old lady named Gertrude. Taking a look inside “how the fuck could a sweet little old lady such as Gertrude live in this scary hell hole?” You ask out loud.

After investigating the house for a while you guys did end up splitting up. And you lost chris. “Chris! Oh my fucking god where is this kid.” Walking down to the main floor “Chris i swear to god if you do some dumb shit ill kill you!” You yell still not being able to find the damn kid. You hear the floorboards creak from behind you.

Turning around your met with a clown mask. You being you, absolutely terrified of clowns. Youve always hated them since you were 6 years old. The boys know this as well. “OH FUCK NO” you scream turning around running to the door. Being chased by the masked figure.

Swinging the front door open running out onto the front porch the wood underneath your right foot breaks causing your leg to fall through. “OW FUCK. Stop stop stop please stop.” You yell out now crying from being scared and now having a sliced open shin. “Oh shit kid! Are you good?! Im sorry!” Chris rushes over to you taking the mask off.

“F- mmm- fuck you chris. Ow ow ow stop your making it worse!” Crying in pain. Nick and matt run downstairs seeing the predicament your currently in. “What the fuck happened?!” Nick asks. Looking up at him with tears in your eyes. You point at the mask then point towards chris. “Your a fucking idiot chris. I’ll call the ambulance” matt says dialing 911.

By the end of the night your in the hospital with a sprained ankle and 5 stitches on your shin. “Dude im so sorry i didnt mean.. i didnt mean to scare you that bad. I didnt mean for you to get hurt-” chris rambles on. “Yea yea save it. But at least ill have a badass scar.” The four of you laugh in the patient room. “Definitely going in the memory book. Say cheese guys!” Nick says throwing his camera up snapping a pic.

a/n: just wanted to post something happy Halloween!

[thecoolerliauditore]

Your post abt gender presentation as part of character growth is soooo. To me, Joel embracing his femininity is so much. He puts up a giant facade of bravado and strength, he is tall and muscular and strong. Yet if there is an occasion for him to wear a dress he embraces it. Would he need to be this aggressive in life if he was born a girl? A girl doesn't need to be tall and strong, he'd been taught.

Joel likes being a man. But there is an unspoken serenity in femininity in his eyes. Maybe he can indulge, if just for a few hours hidden behind the facade of a joke.

A man wearing a dress is funny, right?

... right?

Sometimes a joke is just so... funny... you can't help but cry.

Anon there are some asks that like evoke a emotional reaction from me that I could swear are the result of momentary possession because I usually do not get the butterflies from posts like this but smth about the timing of this being sent mid joel/scott essay + me having no internet and rewatching my downloaded joel 3L episodes over and over did. something to me.

This post got really away from me sorry. the disease got me. (no really I am still sick and brainfogged please forgive me)

But yes this is so true so true anon. He's so verbal about it all too. handsome, strong, muscular, tall, etc etc. Guy who totally isn't trying to convince himself of his own lies.

I've always liked looking at empires as a sorta vague symbolic representation of the characters' backstories and I have had. So many thoughts about Joel being a prince (specifically one that gets wordlessly hitched to a queen) and a big, tall, manly God. Both are very classic symbols of (forgive me but I really do not know what other term would work) peak masculinity. Of course he would portray himself that way.

And Joel is powerful, he's scary and he revels that people see him that way. But Joel is only human and he can't keep up the facade forever. He spends so much of the death games feeling small and scared. And he hates it so much, he hates feeling emasculated so much that he ends up letting it kill him in LimL in his panic.

His relationship with his own sense of masculinity has inspired like. pretty much all of my Joel art now that I think about it alongside the homophobic gay thing. Most relevantly that wedding dress one. I've always headcanoned him as growing his hair out in HC10 where he feels safe enough to start exploring that side of himself (although he still won't admit it -- if you ask him he'll just make up some excuse about how he can't be bothered).

A big part of that i/me/myself animatic was me thinking about how both him and Scott are the types to think that their lives could be so much simpler if they were born girls, but in more of that misguided homophobic/softcore misogynistic way than a transfem way (that being said I'm like. lowkey shocked I haven't ran into any transfem joel or transfem scott in the wild. I've had bouts of imagining both as well as transmasc joel but I don't think I have anything interesting enough in my head to post).

Very dubious sourcing of headcanons occurring here but I really do think about that one Guess the Build episode where he makes a generic wedding scene and randomly remarks that it looks like him and Jimmy getting married, with himself wearing the dress. Sighs. Whatever, man.

I do really. really like the idea of him starting small with the femininity. I think he's at a stage where he's willing to at least give it a try. I haven't quite gotten ill enough about the WL dynamics to come up with making shit up headcanons but idk maybe his hair is long enough at this point that it gets in his face alot and Gem gets annoyed with his constant complaining and teaches him to braid it. Wait fuck new headcanon unlocked drawing him with a little baby braid from now on.

Also this might be more the gay thing than the gender thing but I'd like to think he becomes more comfortable with how small he is compared to other guys, and his thing for taller men like Etho and Jimmy. Getting more accustomed to physical affection and having the association with his size slowly turn from fear of being overpowered or humiliated to something much softer and warmer.

I love how you use the word "mock" anon because it really is. like that. It's all a joke. A man being gay or effeminate, that's worthy of mockery, of humiliation to Joel. He's internalized these beliefs and as a consequence he believes he will be subjected to that if he lets himself slip into being those things. So he has to keep mocking men like himself, keep insisting it's all stupid and gross, but at the same time doing that is the only time he gets to even pretend to experience expressing those parts of himself.

Maybe a bit of a side note but I've had this idea in my head for ages of like. This but Joel ends up just deciding fuck it one day and trying to feminize himself super hard to attract the men he likes (which is not quite right tm either he's maybe pushing his own boundaries a little too hard and it's uncomfortable but he feels like he has to do this). I usually imagine Jimmy but this could very much be Etho too.

They go on a little date and Jimmy literally could not give less of a fuckk. He's like oh Joel's experimenting, cool. and Joel gets all huffy about the lack of reaction and demands to know if Jimmy thinks this new version of him is pretty, to which Jimmy just says some shit like "yeah but you were always pretty" and Joel explodes on the spot and dies.

[theweirdoinurhouse]

Phobias, am I right?

Sorry for the bad title, but in my Ted Talk of the day I'll be discussing Tokophobia and thanatophobia (mainly this one). I've seen some talk about them, and want to share my own personal experiences with them and spread more light on the subjects.

CW: Talk of death, pregnancy, childbirth, and rape (very briefly) Please proceed with caution, I don't want anybody to have a mental crisis

So first off, what are tokophobia and thanatophobia? Tokophobia is the fear of childbirth/pregnancy, and thanatophobia is the fear of death. That one is pretty broad. I will section off talking about each of them. Warning, they might be long.

Thanatophobia:

I'll just get this one out of the way. I personally have thanatophobia stronger than tokophobia, and that's because it's literally unavoidable. And that's the main reason I'm so scared of it. Unlike other fears like heights or spiders or snakes, you can decently avoid those. But you can't avoid death. It's always looming over you, no matter how safe you seem. Not to say those other fears aren't valid or anything. They absolutely are. But nobody can avoid death. Not forever anyways.

Everytime I get home and open the door I'm scared someone might be on the other side with a gun. Or when I enter my room. Or whenever I'm walking I wonder if that maybe someone will drive by and shoot me. Lots of shooting thoughts, because it's one of the easiest methods. But no matter where I am I always have the looming thought of dying.

Then there's the fact about mortality. It absolutely angers me. Inside me are two wolves (sorry I have to joke to make myself feel better). One wolf thinks: Why do anything? We won't matter. We won't do anything that matters to the world or people. We're gonna die one day. We're not special. Why try so hard? The other wolf thinks: We're gonna die one day, so why not live life to the fullest? (Can you tell which one I listen to most of the time?)

I try my best to live my life to the fullest. But I'm always so stressed about everything. Then whenever I try to do something "cool" or think about doing something cool, I can only think of how that might make my life even shorter. I watched this one movie where this girl was the embodiment of "YOLO". Guess what? She died.

I don't want that to be me. I don't want to finally decide to do something fun and then die. But I also don't want to stay cooped up my whole life. Every thought I have contradicts each other and it's so hard to live with. I hate thinking about how we're all just going to die one day and that we can't do anything about it. And we have no clue what's after.

I'm not religious. And honestly? That makes this even worse. I have nothing to hold onto. I have nothing to look forward to. I have nothing. 😋😋 I won't talk much about religion. Like ever. But yeah, I don't have a belief of what's after, and it's makes the unknown so scary to me. I don't like not knowing. Just endless black? No consciousness? Nothing? Nothing.

I have oh so many thoughts about death. None positive. Sometimes I think about killing myself to escape this sad, non-satisfying world. When I was younger I made this idea with my step dad that when you die you get your own island in the sky and you can make it as perfect to you as you want. Sometimes I want to die to go to my own personal, amazing life. But what if that's fake? What if everything everyone has ever thought of about the afterlife is fake? Not having an answer is scary enough for me.

Earlier today I was helping out at a theater put away some stuff. I was standing on top of a latter. Then suddenly it was getting a little hard to breath and I was crying. Had to steady myself before getting off the ladder. So really other fears that can correspond to death scares me too. How diverse! 😄

Anyways that's the basics. Ill just stop it there before it gets too long.

Tokophobia:

This one will be shorter, so people who don't like reading a lot of words: here ya go.

Remember in thanatophobia I mentioned walking? Yeah sometimes I think about someone 🍇 me and (bc the government low key sucks) being forced to have a child. TERRIFYING!!! Honestly props to all the moms in the world, i could never give birth.

Whenever I think about pregnancy the first thing that pops up in my brain is that one scene from Alien. You know the one. There is a literal LIVING BEING GROWING IN YOUR STOMACH!!! WHAT?!

The thought just really grosses me out, and I just would have a mental breakdown if I was pregnant.

This one time in like 3rd grade my teacher was talking about her giving birth to her two daughters (no clue why she did). She had to stop because one kid was crying, knees to their chest and rocking back and forth. That child was me. I was absolutely mortified of the idea of giving birth. Still am. People call it the beauty of life. I call it absolutely disgusting (no offense. Omg opinions!!)

Anyway yeah. In summary: I don't like the world ☺️☺️

(I did not re-read this, so sorry for any mistakes in spelling or grammar!)

[jinmukangwrites]

For the writing prompts if you're still looking for something and if you're still writing for LU, maybe #13 with Legend? Only if you're feeling it tho!

13: Out of breath

Hey don't cry, Ao3 down Drabble prompts

---

Legend officially hated hiking.

More specifically, the kind of hiking where there wasn't even anything interesting to see. No, this particular hike was just a way to get from one town to another, they've been told to follow the river, what the locals didn't say was that the terrain climbed and dropped with no regard for Legend's heartrate; especially considering the big bold signs that screamed: Falling rock zone ahead! Do not stop!

Legend had never been more unthankful that most of the group were rule followers when it came to local warnings. His thighs and calves ached like none other. At the pit of his stomach, a sharp pain formed with every breath, like he'd been stabbed by a very dull knife. He tried to remind himself with every step that in through the nose, out through the mouth, through the stomach, but the cramp just kept getting worse, considering he could barely even breathe through his nose in the first place.

He felt like he was slowly suffocating. Ahead of him, most of the others walked on without a problem. Time, in all his armor, looked barely past breaking a sweat. Warriors carried Wind on his back. Even Sky, the slowpoke, worked with scary persistent endurance. Legend got the feeling he'd beat Sky in a sprint, but never in a marathon.

Don't even get him started on Wild.

Goddesses he wanted to stop. There had been no rockfalls that he'd noticed, what were the chances of one happening right at that particular moment anyways? Surely he could stop for a breather. Even more surely, if he didn't stop, he'd definitely pass out in the next few minutes from suffocation. Curse his ways of using magic for everything, after this he was going to ask Time about how to build his endurance.

He almost paused, almost planted his feet down right there and let the chances of rock slides claim him, but Hyrule nabbed one hand and Four came up from behind and pushed him at the small of his back. Both of them are panting hard as well, but that didn't stop his groan.

"Please," he gasped, "I am dying."

"You can," Hyrule huffed, "rest when you're- you're dead."

"Breathe, vet," Four huffed breathlessly, "in nose. Out mouth. Count the seconds."

Hyrule continued to haul him forward, and Four continued to push. His legs felt like iron, but he sluggishly followed along with his two companions. He forced himself to copy Four's breathing, forced himself to carry his weight, until eventually they reached sign that announced the end of the danger zone.

Legend groaned and collapsed onto the ground, dragging Hyrule and Four down with him. Hyrule landed at his shoulder, and Four on his back, and they laid there like their bones had been replaced with gravel.

Legend blinked. Blinked again. He had been beginning to black out.

"Next time," he panted when he had found his voice, "we find a hill that says to not stop climbing, we find a way around."

"Here, here," Hyrule echoed while above them Twilight gave a slight chuckle.

"I'm seeing stars where there shouldn't be," Four agreed.

Thankfully, the others settled around them, not mocking the different levels of endurance, though once Legend felt more hylian than chu-chu, Warriors said with a sly grin that next time he could carry Legend up. Legend punched his shoulder, but he knew he didn't mean ill-will.

On Hylias name, Legend is never taking another hike like that again, even if Ganondorf himself needed defeated at the top of one.

[kyntypes]

Just a rant about being dismissive avoidant, the way it's viewed, and just how terrible it is to be one.

I hate how looking into being dismissive avoidant is immediately met with "How to deal with dismissive avoidants", "Dismissive avoidants are abusive and manipulative", "Dismissive avoidants are narcissists", and other stuff. Like, I'm sorry that I was emotionally neglected enough in childhood to make my brain behave the way it does. I know I can change it, but please trust me when I say this change doesn't happen overnight. I never choose to do this, as this is all primarily unconscious, or it pretty much swallows me whole. I cannot stress this enough. I am not evil for existing and having deep-rooted issues from my childhood.

I've seen so many comments, especially on TikTok, demonizing dismissive avoidants as evil, scary, narcissistic, too much to be around, framing them as unlovable, etc. It's exhausting. They act like I get pleasure from harming others. I really don't. It KILLS me inside to hurt someone. Kills. Me. I don't take joy in knowing I pretty much unwillingly manipulate, gaslight, or play mental games with people. I despise that. It's a never-ending cycle, it feels like.

Please, please trust me when I say I HATE how I get so irrationally jealous and annoyed when someone else is happy about an achievement, or how I shut down emotional conversations because they emotionally and mentally overstimulate me. I hate how I want attention, but hate being in the limelight at the same time. I hate having an unstable sense of self due to relying on others to frame their perception for me. It's. Exhausting.

I remember thinking something about me was fundamentally wrong. I looked into so many mental illnesses, personality disorders, neurodevelopmental disorders, etc. just to figure out what was "wrong" with me. I didn't understand the burning rage I'd get when someone set boundaries with me or was emotionally intimate with me, I didn't understand why everyone else seemed to naturally express empathy without having to think twice about it, I didn't understand why I couldn't support my boyfriend without blowing up in his face the second he came to me for a problem. I'd throw, for lack of a better word, *adult tantrums* because I was confronted with emotions I didn't know how to process. I'd cry, kick, scream, and basically have a meltdown because I just didn't know what the hell to do.

Honestly, if I could, I'd consider my dismissive avoidance a disability. Seriously. Life is *hard* as a dismissive avoidant, and relationships are hell, anything with a deeper meaning is hell, and living feels so shallow and bleak.

I wasn't traumatized as a child, I think, I don't know, but honestly, whatever happened that made me end up this way sucks. Terribly. I hate being an adult with the emotional maturity of a 10-year-old. I was so much more mature when I was younger, and now I feel like I'm falling behind. It feels so lonely sometimes because nobody else seems to understand around me.

[katphantom69]

Finally got into writing again wooo!

"Its not fair!", Luner cried as they tossed another pillow across the room,

"Why am I always the bad guy?! Why do they see me in such a cruel way?! What did I do wrong?!". They sobbed, collapsing onto their bed and crying into their arms.

Cosmic Warper watched in dismay as his moon child wept and wailed upon his moonlit bed. They approached careful, running a hand through Lunars hair.

"Oh Lulu, you've done no harm, no foul. Mortals are just... fickle things, one track minds. They see bright day as good so dark night must be evil and scary. It's nothing against you personally" they coo trying to sooth the lunar twin.

Lulu just wailed more.

"They make the moon look bad! They make it seem like I'm not important. I know my worth! I am the moon! I control their tides, help with direction and time! I am not lesser, nor do I feel the hate and jealous twords my twin. I do not hate the sun! And I'd never hurt Sol! Never!" They say as glimmering tears drip down their face and onto the silken pillow sheet.

Solaris, the sun and twin of the moon peaked in from the doorway. It hurt to see their sibling so upset. Yet they understood why. For ages upon ages, mortals had unfairly worshipped the brighter celestial body more and honored them more than their dimmer counterpart. At first, they felt a bit flattered, if not a bit uncomfortable for all the attention. But over the eons, as Lunar became saddened with the misjudgment they got, Solaris uncomfortableness began to turn into anger. Seeing his sibling like this, so upset, so distraught and broken, made idle anger turn... into rage.

Cosmic Warper gave a soft whine

"It won't be forever little one, times are changing, the mortals will learn! They will come to see you as you truly are. Brilliant, loving and benevolent. You'll see-"

"WHEN?!" Lunar shouted, startling the lord of space "In another thousand years? 5 thousand? A MILLION?! I don't want to wait anymore! I...I! IVE HAD ENOUGH!" They yelled, slamming their fists onto the bed.

Cosmic felt the whole moon shake as Lunar took over their celestial body.

"Lulu what are you doing?!" Cosmic said with worry and fear in their voice.

Using their power to its maximum potential, Lunar pulled at the moons connection with the earth, pushing the terrestrial bond away. They pulled and pulled with all their might, but alas, not strong enough for such a great feat, they managed to only pull away from the earth around 3 inches before collapsing exhausted onto the bed. Their body trembled and they hid their face in their pillow and screamed in frustration.

Cosmic stepped back alarmed

"Lulu! Please! This isn't right! Why must it come to this extreme?!"

Lunar lifted themselves up a bit to look at their parental figure

"I didn't want it to come to this! I wanted to be nice! I wanted to be fair! But I am left with no choice. If they do not like me as the governor of their night,then the mortals shall have me no more! I will not be made to feel less than! I am the Moon but not Earth's moon no more. I will move away, somewhere else amongst the stars! Somewhere were ill be wanted! Let them see the consequences of their actions and reap from the seeds of pain and misery that they've sown!" They say as they clean their tears.

"Lulu please," Cosmic begged "put the moon back in its place."

"NO! NO MORE, I WILL NOT BE RIDICULED OR SEEN AS DESERVING OF THEIR HATE NO MORE. IF YOU CANT GIVE ME YOUR SUPPORT THEN I DONT NEED YOUR PITY! GET OUT!" Lunar screamed as they used their power to shove Cosmic out of their room and then shut the door in their face.

Cosmic was left floating there, in shock and fear of these actions. Things would not be good if they escalated like this, but escalate they would as they turned to come face to face with their sun child.

"Sol!" They exclaim surprised. "I am thankful that you're here. Please help me ease your sibling down. Try to make them see reason." They beg softly.

But Solaris shook their head and to Cosmics horror, they felt the sun also slip from their grasp.

"But they are right Cosmic, Lulu is in the right to be sad and upset. As well am I to feel ANGRY!" They growl, a terrible sound Cosmic Warper never expected to hear from his beloved children.

"The mortals have come to far! For so long they have been pitting us against each other and making Lulu feel inferior. I do not wish to continue that any further! If they can not adore and see Lulu for how important and great they are, then I do not want their honor or adulation!" They roared

Cosmic gulped a bit as he felt the sun burn brighter and hotter. This was not supposed to be happening! This would not only have grave consequences for the Earth but for the entire solar system as well.

Solaris glared at their parent as they spoke.

"The mortals shall learn that actions have consequences. I will become the villain they make Lulu out to be! Let the sun they adore so much be the cause of their misery and pain. And once they realize their wrong doings it will be too late to go back and beg the moon for a cooler blissful escape from my scorching rays!

Let them suffer as the moon has suffered and perhaps they'll come to repent for their actions. But until then, they shall know not my warm tender embrace, but only my unforgiving FURY!"

With that last remark, Cosmic felt the sun flare with energy. A large solar storm raging on as Solar retreated back to the sun.

Cosmic Warper was left speechless and in tears as their beloved children slipped from their caring embrace and decend into the worse possible outcome that could have happened. There were bound to be consequences for this, grave consequences.

Consequences that they weren't sure they'd be able to face without breaking down into shambles or hurting those they loved. How had things come to this?

On earth, Kimera, Keeper of Balance, could feel the shift. Something was wrong, deeply wrong.

The tides receded, the nights no longer cool and inviting. In fact, they even seemed more dim. Nocturnal animals everywhere began to slowly act strange and be awake at odd hours. Not only that, but the earth seemed hotter. Even at night it seemed impossible to escape the outrageous heat of day. Crops dried up easier and the oceans heated up causing a mess there too.

The natural balance was amiss and Kimera could only look up at the sky in worry, feeling Spaces turmoil.

"I do hope you figure this out and resolve this." She spoke to the heavens.

"For if this goes on further, Order may forces their way into this. And I'm in no mood to clean up their mess...again."

She says and retires to lair, chanting a troublesome rhyme about it all.

"Sun and Moon

Celestial twins

Feeling scorned

From human whim

Have turned their faces

Away from Earth

Till we value

What they're worth

For if we don't heed

Their warning blight

Earth will wither

Loose the fight

Let us gather

Let us pray

For forgiveness

From Night and Day"

[scpwiki-official]

.:)

A: Alleviate - How do they go about relieving persistent physical pain?

warm showers and heat packs if available

B: Bedridden - How do they behave when they’re sick?

forest animal coded they immediately try to find somewhere warm to curl up and sleep

C: Cling - Whose physical touch is considered most welcome in their minds when they are in need? Is there a specific type of touch they respond well to?

in the post containment era nearly everyone in the scpolycule (except iceberg its nothing personal xe is just cold) also they are so weak for headpats

D: Deathbed - How would they react if they realized they may not recover from their injuries?

they get really quiet and try to conceal their injury's until they can find somewhere quiet to die

E: Emergency - What is their gut reaction when someone they care about is hurt?

panic and aggression they are terrified of losing anyone else

F: Fight - Are there circumstances under which they would not accept treatment or care? If so, what are they?

they hate any form of medical care they do have to be sedated sometimes

G: Ghosts - How has their past shaped the kind of comfort they respond to best?

.:)

H: Home - What things (objects, sensations or people) remind them they’re safe after a scary situation?

ukelele insists that they (collectively) keep his coat on their bed its covered in rips and holes and is not wearable but it makes him feel safe.

Francis collects dried flowers and herbs (lavender is his favorite )

clef just has its shotgun which it talks to (objectum swag)

I: Isolation - How do they soothe themselves when no one is around to soothe them?

they talk to eachother! and if they cant talk they just make creature noises (whimpering trilling ect)

J: Joy - When was the first time they were truly happy after going through something terrible?

during their containment they we're put into this enrichment program where they and few other well behaved humanoids got to go on a supervised walk outside it was the first time in a month that it got to just sit in the sun

K: Kindness - Do they believe they deserve the comfort they receive? Why or why not?

they honestly believe that they are incapable of deserving love even from eachother

L: Levity - What or who helps them take their mind off of the circumstances?

they love looking out of windows sometimes there's even a bird and thats like the highlight of their day

N: Nostalgia - What things that comforted them as a kid still work today? Does anyone know that?

they had plush fawn as a child and they managed to keep it until they got contained and they managed to get it back when they started working (sugarcube reference)

O: Overworked - Who or what tells them to stop working and take care of themselves?

Rights actually! she often drags them out to go eat with her

P: Please - Have they ever begged for someone to comfort or stay with them? What was that incident like?

once they begged kondraki to stay the night with them after a bad episode they refused to talk to her about it afterwards

Q: Questions - Are they eager to talk about what or why they’re hurting? Why or why not?

no

R: Relief - How do they react to the realization that they will soon be fully recovered?

they are apprehensive they've never been fully well before so they dont know who they are without the horrors

S: Scared - What would it take for them to admit that they’re scared?

not much they almost never convey their fear verbally however their body language often betray their emotions ( the consequences of having big fluffy deer ears)

T: Time - How long does it take for them to feel better after an ordeal or illness? Do they tend to lie about how soon they feel better?

due to their tendency to just sleep when they are sick they often recover quickly they also absolutely lie about not being sick

U: Ugly - What part of their recovery process are they ashamed of, if any?

they cry and make really embarrassing noises when they are injured or sick

V: Valiant - Has anyone told them they were brave for facing what they did? How would they react if someone did?

this happens alot actually especially when they were contained it always catches them of guard

W: Why? - How did they process what happened to them?

they didnt!

Y: Yearn - What gesture, person or thing do they desperately want, but would never actually ask for?

they really just want to be loved and to feel safe

Z: Zero - What is the best way to comfort them without touching them?

singing to them or talking quietly

[guildtree]

Hi! This is going to be a big ventpost/diary entry/bid for understanding/I don't even know. It's me needing to get thoughts out of my head and into words basically. If you're not in the mood for that and just want more Guild Wars memes, fair enough, keep scrolling, I hope you have a lovely day.

For the rest of you brave souls:

One thing nobody told me about depression, or even recovering from a depressive episode, is that it totally fucks with your emotional regulation. For me at least, being depressed was not sadness per se but numbness. I think it's formally called anhedonia, I call it robot mode, but there's a point where the stress and pain gets too much and my brain simply says, "Enough," and hits the off-switch on all my emotions. I can't feel sadness, I can't feel anger, I can't feel joy. There was a period of a few years where my emotional range went from 'mildly pleased' to 'exhausted.' I've had friends and family tell me they could see a marked difference in how I acted during my lowest point, from having flat facial expressions to losing my sense of humor to being tired all the time. Robot mode is a serious shift in brain function.

Of course, now that I'm recovering from this I can feel the full range of emotion. Which is great! And... also not so great. Because the full range of emotion includes happiness, but it also includes anger and fear and jealousy and true crying sadness, all of which I seem to have forgotten how to handle. (Or maybe I never learned, since I was at least mildly depressed during what a psychologist might call a 'critical phase of development'.) A relative says something rude while I'm stressed and suddenly I want to punch them where before it would have slid off my back. I startle easily when a big truck zooms by, where before I would walk across a busy street without looking first because I simply didn't care. Sometimes it feels like I'm flipping through a photo album of different emotions, slowly remembering how to process one only for another to fly right out of left field.

Right now it's loneliness. There have been a lot of changes for me in the past two years, some because of outside circumstances and others because of choices I made to help myself feel better. I know I made the right decisions, but even good change leads to losing things, and I've lost contact with a lot of my friends at this point. I'm going to have to rebuild my social network all over again, which is a scary and painful and lonely process, and ironically I actually feel more sad from that because I'm not depressed. Sometimes having emotions feels more like a curse.

I think I have to remember the good parts of it too. Yes, I can feel happiness again, and a sunrise brings me peace instead of dread now, but also even the "negative" emotions have their place. Anger is what kept me alive. I'll often say that I'm still around mostly out of sheer spite, and it's true: a real breakthrough for me was realizing, "Hey, it's not my fault I'm hurting, it's the fault of an illness and the rest of the world being shitty", getting mad about it, and deciding to fight back. Fear keeps me from doing stupid things and in a sense leads to pride - because to be proud of yourself for stepping outside your comfort zone, you have to have an 'outside the comfort zone' to begin with. I'm starting to think the point of loneliness may be to push me to seek connection with others - the feeling that I need other people, that I hurt without them, has led me to be more vulnerable with others than I normally would, something that has generally turned out better than I expected.

I feel things now. I feel a lot of things now. It's scary and it's beautiful and it's overwhelming and I love it and I hate it and I'm so so glad I can. The world deserves more than robot-me. I deserve to be more than robot-me. Maybe someday I'll figure out happiness, but for now I'll take embracing the chaos as a substitute.