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xoruffitup · 3 years ago

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Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work.

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

#Adam Driver #Annette #Cannes 2021 #driverdaily #Annette spoilers

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fizzingwizard · 3 years ago

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Go ahead y’all ask me how I am... do it, I DARE you... after Digimon Adventure: episode 50 - the 1999 equivalent of which, I feel compelled to mention, was “Jou’s Battle,” when Taichi strategically splits his group apart with the goal of gathering the whole team for the final confrontation - I think my emotional state can best be described like this:

meme so funny haha

but the truth is I’m very sad. I just can’t with this show anymore. I don’t know if I’ll continue to review future episodes. Actually, as I was watching this one, I thought it was the final episode, even though I knew there were supposed to be more and it hadn’t been hyped as the finale at all. I just thought, “What else can they do after this? It seems like the kind of ending this shitshow would get. At least it will be a relief to not watch it every week anymore.”

However, let’s be clear that this is NOT the finale. I’m gonna watch till the very end, but idk if I have it in me even to make these depressing little reviews. At first it was fun, then it was meh... I held out and the show got fun again, but the last month or so have been such a drag. And this week’s episode is just the final straw. So we’ll see.

Anyway real episode review below the cut. Warning: I hated everything except for Taichi’s face so it’s mostly caps of him.

Pic of the day:

“At this rate... I’m gonna request a transfer to Boruto...” /Sanpei Yuuko joke

More below

Last week big bad Millenniumon appeared to be resurrected. Here he is.

Totally lacking a clear motivation other than “destroy the world...” Even in appearance, ALL of Devimon’s evolutions mid-season were WAY scarier.

Turns out Taichi and Agumon have faceplanted on this hunk of rock, which immediately breaks off and sends them catapulting earthward.

Wind noise what? Taichi and Agumon encourage each other while freefalling.

Agumon: Hey shouldn’t we have broken every bone in our bodies by now

Taichi: I once broke my leg tripping over Hikari’s hairbrush. This is starting to seem silly.

Meanwhile the others awaken inside what Tailmon explains is a cut-off dimension created by Millenniumon, where they will eventually fall into a dreamless sleep forever and ever.

Millenniumon’s power is immense and he makes volcanos erupt. So his power is he gives the earth digital acne.

Yamato evolves MetalGarurumon and stars just attacking the walls (of... the endless void... lol). This appears to slow Millenniumon down in a total rip-off of the way cooler way Koushirou slowed Diaboromon down in Our War Game.

The Holy Digimon are inspired by Taichi’s courage to fight wheeee I didn’t realize they were having problems with that

no kidding

Taichi fights a lot and escapes certain death a lot. Even when he and WarGreymon take a head-on hit and are sent spiraling into the ocean. Still fine because THE POWER OF BELIEF

Chumbawumba: I get knocked down but I get up again you’re never gonna keep me down

WarGreymon is able to knock the black ball thingy out of Millenniumon’s mouth. This is fortunate because it’s what contains Yamato and friends and now they are able to free themselves thanks to the Holy Digimon, who randomly start acting like the Crests are important. But since we don’t know what they are *cough* they just call them “everyone’s hopes!”

Now let’s interrupt my mocking to appreciate an adorable Taichi waking up face:

Alll the d’aaaaawwwww

... Aaaand his back is broken x’DDD

The HolyDigimon have evolved to Ultimate level! More on that later. First, they divided the group in halves with them, because because. Hikari gets Taichi, Sora, and Koushirou, and Takeru gets Yamato, Jou, and Mimi.

So yes... those Ultimate evolutions... Tailmon becomes Magnadramon and Patamon becomes... GODDRAMON, GOD OF STEELY ABS

no seriously thats all I could think. Magnadramon is all soft and fluffy looking and then Goddramon is like “I HAVE SMALL HEAD HUGE BODY ABS ABS UNTIL KINGDOM COME, VERY MACHO”

He punches Millenniumon in the mouth, of course.

Millenniummon considerately starts to melt. Thank you, Millenniumon. We wouldn’t want Goddramon’s ego to get bruised.

There’s a few good attacks here - I liked Magnadramon’s Apocalypse attack - but like who even cares. The animation is so half-assed that there’s nothing really to appreciate.

Just when it seems Millenniumon’s defeated, he comes back like... this. It’s enormous. Even Koushirou’s digimon analyzer doesn’t know what it is.

Lopmon does though!

bahahaha

but wait what’s this

sparks! are they fireflies????

no they are the hopes and wishes of all the Digimon we’ve met on our journey! how lovely and inspiring! what are they saying?

hopes and wishes: I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE I DONT WANNA DIE

now I shall spam Taichi looking adorable while being as cliche as an anime protagonist can get.

Good heavens, WHY. WHY WHY WHY. I looooooove Taichi (obviously) but WHY is he the one fighting here?? First it was Taichi, then it was Goddramon/Magnadramon, and now it’s... back to Taichi??? FOR WHAT REASON???

I mean the reason is, we don’t know anyone else well enough to cheer for them the way we cheer for Taichi. As cool as the Holy Digimon are meant to be, I guess the one thing the producers realized is that, uh, they’ve only spent time building up Taichi (and even that, while they’ve done a lot of it, they haven’t done it well).

Kinda cool death scene.

Our heroes wake up no worse for the wear. Millenniumon is gone. Everyone is together and happy. I’m just spamming Taichi again.

his face when Mimi gives him the corsage

Taichi: “Wtf, what is this, is this supposed to mean something??? also didn’t we see this burn to a crisp a few frames ago??”

And we end with a blue sky, which is both the most beautifully animated frame as well as the most Digimon Adventure-like scene in the entire episode -____-

So, like I said, I was all prepared for this to be the inauspicious ending, despite what I’d heard about the number of episodes. But nope, there’s more. Although I’m frustrated beyond belief, I’m somewhat relieved because this does mean there’s still potential to recover somewhat from this utter train wreck of a battle. The big problem is that Millenniumon is a TERRIBLE villain.

The other problem is that the show HASN’T been terrible the whole time. It’s been up and down a lot, but the ups were very much there, and they gave us some stuff I found pretty interesting. Like, I really wanted to know more about what the heck went down between Taichi and DoneDevimon - the fact that only Yamato has any idea about it (Takeru too but he’s a baby) hasn’t been addressed. Then there’s the connections between Devimon and Angemon, SkullKnightmon and Tailmon. Those have been addressed, technically, but they left sooo much room for more.

Then there’s things like the kids’ family situations - my guess is we’ll end up back in the human world at some point quite soon - which were hinted at back when most of the team was exiled to the human world. Really want to see that expanded on.

Mosty of all, what gave me any positive vibes about this reboot at all was the first three episodes, which were pretty good overall - did a lot of things different but still preserved what I felt was most important. We saw Koushirou coming into his own, Yamato being standoffish and slowly opening up, and Taichi being the glue that keeps things together. Those first three episodes are arguably better than the rest of the show combined. And I bet it’s no coincidence that they predate covid-19 (sort of - I mean, covid was already a thing and around, Japan just hadn’t started caring much about it yet).

Episode 4 is when we started hitting misteps, and that’s also when the show went on brief hiatus due to covid. It never got back what made those first three episodes so promising, even during the highs.

I’ll make a list of the things I liked sometime, but I suppose the main points are the ones I mentioned above, plus the arc with Ogremon, and the kids getting new evolutions not seen in 99 Adventure (well, by “kids” I mostly mean Taichi tho - but I thought it meant everyone would get them. Technically, Takeru just did.)

So yeah. I’m so done with this show and the things is, I just love Digimon Adventure so much, it meant so much to me as a kid. I didn’t expect the same show. I think my expectations were set at a reasonable level, though I knew I had to be cautious about comparing the now and the before too much. This show just hasn’t been able to live up to 99 Adventure, but that’s not even my issue - it’s that it doesn’t live up to other current children’s cartoons either. It’s got no heart. Just think about that, Digimon has got no heart. It’s literally all about the connection between kids and their partners, kids and their friends, kids and their families, and it has no heart! That is failure. It says to me that something got confused in production - there wasn’t enough money, or there was too much staff turnover thanks to covid, etc, and people just lost sight of the story they were planning to tell.

That’s what I think happened. It can’t be fixed at this point, but I’ll still watch till the end and hope for the best. At least maybe I’ll get more Taichi pics to spam.

I probably need to rewatch 99 Adventure soon to get my soul back.

Next week, apparently the Crests will finally matter. My hope is that this whole debacle with Millenniumon is gonna turn out to have been a cover for something much bigger and less boring going on. Millenniumon didn’t even get a villain monologue. He reminded me of the way Mugendramon had been somewhat, more like a puppet than his own person. Makes me wonder if the Vademon were up to more than simply resurrecting a vanquished evil. Here’s hoping.

#fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon reboot #digimon adventure psi #digi spoilers #digimon

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ohdaim · 4 years ago

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april fool's day oneshot

hi guys, i wrote this today in one sitting, and it's lazily edited:) i'm recovering from an oral surgery and on strong medication, so i hope this makes as much sense as i think it does.

Ship: Ignis Scientia/female reader Summary: You are a Citadel valet working the night shift, frequently attending to Ignis' car. You have no idea how to talk to him. He has no idea how to ask for your number. Words: 1849 idk if this is considered fluff or just mutual pining but with like,, idiots

Stir together bread crumbs, garlic, parsley…

You scanned the rest of the newest recipe on your favorite cooking blog, Feeding The Fussy. As always, it looked delicious. As always, you rated it five stars and typed out a comment.

I followed the recipe exactly, but I left out the bread crumbs and cheese. I used shrimp and bacon grease instead. Terrible recipe. Won’t make again.

Putting your phone away, you came to attention when someone stepped out of a Citadel elevator across the lobby. You worked night shift as a palace valet and hardly saw anyone but for a few regular night owls. One of them approached now, and gods, you were nervous all of a sudden.

Ignis was your favorite regular. He was polite, tipped well, and made small talk so you wouldn't have to. You didn’t know what he did in the Citadel or why he so often left at four in the morning. You just knew you had a big crush on him and, for that reason, could never carry a full conversation without getting sweaty palms.

“Good morning.” He greeted you first. “Quiet night?”

You nodded, entering the info you needed to check his vehicle out of the system. You wanted to say something, anything. Nerves got the best of you, and you excused yourself into the back room to get his car keys. On your way out, you held them up. “I’ll have your car here momentarily.”

Ignis didn’t respond. He wasn’t even looking at you. His attention was on his phone, a corner of his mouth curled upward.

You paused, taking in the smirk with shy curiosity. That was a new look. What was he smirking at? When he seemed to remember himself, he schooled the look and met your eyes. Startling, you repeated yourself quietly and went through the doors leading to the parking garage.

Ignis’ car consistently smelled like coffee wrapped in leather. Your phone vibrated in your pocket as you buckled in. Because you wanted to linger in the nice scent--was this extremely weird? Yes, of course--you checked to see what the buzzing was about.

An email. You’d gotten a reply from the Feeding The Fussy chef. They’d liked your comments in the past but hadn’t addressed your obvious jokes. You stared at the subject line for a beat, then opened the message.

Thank you for the review. Almost as insightful as last week’s eight hundred word description of your current diet and how my recipes conflict. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve this one?

Your nervousness grew so heavy, it burst in bright red over your face, a flame in your chest. The chef was talking to you. You’d chalked it up to luck that they understood your sense of humor and the intent of your comments. Never had you thought they’d give more than a like. You typed a response before getting back to work.

Pro tip: Using a microwave is faster than the oven. Also, I’ve begun a new diet (details to follow), so is there any way to make this recipe without the ingredients?

Ignis’ car was fancy but less so than most others in the garage. You always felt a pinch of regret when pulling it up to the lobby entrance. Driving a car like his just to see how fast it could go, it wasn’t something you’d ever get to do. You didn’t own one yourself, and truthfully, you'd only gotten a driving license to be qualified for this job. Getting out, you waved at Ignis and extended an arm toward the open driver’s seat.

Tip passing from his hand to your own, you bowed and tucked the money into a pocket. He thanked you, getting into his car. You waited for him to drive away, likely the last person you’d see this shift.

“Ah, pardon me,” Ignis startled you by climbing back out, the car door hanging open. He held something out to you. “I believe you dropped this.”

You looked at your phone in his hand, your eyes wide, nervousness becoming embarrassment. Quickly grabbing it, you bowed again. “Sorry.”

Ignis chuckled. “It’s quite alright. Good thing I noticed when I did.”

Nodding emphatically, you wished he’d just go before you humiliated yourself further.

Clearly not reading your mind, he lingered a moment longer. “In truth, I--”

“Have a good day, sir.” You didn’t mean to interrupt him and hadn’t expected him to say more.

He cleared his throat and smiled. “Same to you.” Thanking you again, by name this time, he left.

Back in the quiet lobby, you put his tip with the rest you’d made that night. You sat behind the desk and buried your face in your hands. The sting of feeling stupid in front of Ignis was abated by the underlying excitement that came from talking to the chef you admired.

They specialized in meals for picky eaters, which you were. They used clear directions, so they could be followed by an amateur chef, which you really were. They sometimes added personal anecdotes spiced with sarcasm and dry jokes to the recipe’s background, which made you feel safe to comment. You refrained from checking your inbox, content to wait until you were home to see if they’d replied yet.

Two attendants arrived for the day shift, and as you hitched the strap of your bag over a shoulder, readying to leave, one of them told you to wait.

“You should pick up a new nametag before your next shift.”

Glancing down at your uniform, you remembered you’d lost yours several days ago. “Oh, right. I will.”

You stepped into an elevator, pressing the button for the metro station level. New nametag. Dumb. You had your work badge but still required a tag. How else would the Citadel inhabitants know who to thank for fetching their expensive cars? You rolled your eyes at the thought, already annoyed. You’d have to come to work early to pick it up. Was it too soon to quit and attend culinary school? You needed to make a bit more money first. Ignis tipped large bills, but still, it’d take years of picking his car up every morning before you could afford tuition.

Grinning to yourself, you weaved through the incoming morning crowds and boarded a train home. It had felt nice, hearing Ignis say your name on his way out. He was the only person who ever addressed you, so maybe getting a new tag was worth it for that alone. Ignis was just-- He truly-- You really liked when he came down, that was all.

It didn’t strike you for another several hours, as you filled out the online request for a new Citadel employee nametag, that Ignis must’ve remembered your name. You supposed a great memory was probably just another part of his polite demeanor. That’s what you told yourself, at least, to keep your crush from growing. You didn’t even know the man.

You attempted the chef’s latest recipe, and as it cooled, you--very casually and not nervously at all--checked to see if they’d replied.

I’ll keep that tip in mind. As for your question, I recommend the following replacement recipe: brew a cup of coffee or tea, sit somewhere comfortable, and enjoy the beverage knowing your comments haunt me whenever I cook.

You read and reread the message, then laughed into a hand. Worth the wait. You ate a bite directly from the dish on your counter, huffing through the fresh heat with mild regret. They deserved a genuine review after such honesty, but it seemed you were doing little more than burning the roof of your mouth. So you took a picture of the food, offering a thumbs up with one hand in frame, and sent it as a reply.

The next night you worked, Ignis arrived much earlier than expected--before midnight, no less. He was coming in rather than going out. Another man was with him, someone blonde and unfamiliar. Ignis opened the back to retrieve something, turning you down when you offered to get it for him. The blonde man, his smile sincere but awkward, complimented your shoes.

“Thanks.” You didn’t really know what to say. People chatting with you was uncommon.

“They match your uniform’s tie… thing.” The blonde man was red in the face. Someone needed to tell him he didn’t have to make small talk. You were just a valet. He persisted, his smile broad. “It’s nice, y’know. You’re, like, coordinated and stuff.”

“Prompto.” Ignis closed the back and proffered a piece of luggage toward the other man. “Leave her be.” When the man took the bag from him, Ignis gave you the car keys. “I apologize for my friend. He can’t contain himself around beautiful women. Add inebriation, and he’s a lost cause.”

You gripped the keys tightly, taking in everything with a slow nod. Yes, of course, right. All of that made sense. Ignis was bringing a drunk friend into the palace. Normal Ignis stuff.

“Do you think Cor’s gonna be mad at me?” the blonde asked Ignis, walking backwards from the car toward the lobby doors. “Iggy, what if Cor gets mad at me?”

Ignis rolled his eyes, a hand checking his inner jacket. “A tad late to worry about that. Go directly to the barracks and try to sleep it off.”

“Where are the barracks again?”

Ignis’ chest broadened with a sigh, and he left the guy hanging. Withdrawing a money clip, he held it out to you. “For your trouble.”

You hesitated taking it. The outer bill appeared to be 1,000 yen, and it was several notes thick… More than the usual tip. You took it slowly, fingertips brushing his leather covered palm, and murmured a quiet thanks.

Ignis remained, his hand lifting to brush loose strands of hair out of his face. He wasn’t as put together as you were used to. Your eyes trailed downward, now noticing the unbuttoned collar of his shirt. Huh.

He cleared his throat and began, “There’s something I--”

“C’mon, Iggy!” The blonde man held one of the entrance doors wide open. “If I knew Cor was gonna be mad anyway, I would’ve stayed at Noct’s.”

Ignis gave you a hasty farewell, already walking away to push the blonde man through the door. They disappeared inside, leaving an awkward wake of silence. You settled into Ignis’ coffee-and-leather scented car, a realization hitting you late, as they tended to do. Had Ignis implied you were beautiful? You didn’t entertain the thought for long. Ignis was a professional, royal something-or-other. He would never. You were reading too much into it. Surely.

On the walk from Ignis’ parking spot back to the lobby, you checked for the latest message from the chef. You’d boldly given them your number in a DM when the comment thread became unbearably long. You hadn’t held out hope of receiving a message and read their initial text at least ten times in disbelief before responding and saving the number.

Was this a new friendship? You hoped so.

#ignis scientia/reader #ignis scientia #ffxv fanfiction #daim writes #lmao do recipe sites even have direct messaging idk #this thing doesn't have a title #it was supposed to be about a prank but i am in fact the fool #anyway i love you guys please take this #i'm going to rest now aaaaaaaaaaaa

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 3 years ago

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Goddamn it Kyra I wasn't even interested in the Lego Lokis before, but now that you've so rudely posted pics of the options I'm probably going to have to buy some. So, couple questions: I'm not familiar with the website you linked to (it doesn't help that I'm on my phone lol) - do you get them from that site or just Aliexpress? I've kind of poked around there but I don't think I've ever actually bought anything - do you have links to those ones you bought or any tips for finding them on the site? (or like. using the site in general without getting scammed or something? Idk much about it other than stuff being low priced lol).

😇😇😇

putting the rest behind a cut because oops this got long

OKAY SO the cool thing about knockoff Lego figures is that a) there are a ton of them, so you can probably find multiple versions of most characters, and b) they're super cheap, so if you do end up getting ripped off, you're probably only out a few bucks. plus if you don't get ripped off, you feel like a genius, because authentic Lego minifigs tend to cost way more than they should (and if you get them online, you probably don't have a good way to know that they're authentic) and here you are getting something just as good or better for way less.

the site I was getting pictures from is HeroBloks, which I only just discovered myself a couple days ago; it looks like mostly it's good for tracking your collection (and learning more about bootleg Lego minifigs in general, maybe--I didn't really realize until now how many different companies there are making Lego-like minifigs) rather than buying, with individual pages including sale links that are only mildly useful. like, the extremely sad TVA Loki has an AliExpress search link that apparently just searches for "blocks," which is the least helpful search term imaginable; the eBay link uses "xinh+xh1745+loki (tva)" as the search term and that's definitely better, although it doesn't actually turn up anything. maybe that one's too new to be widely available yet, I don't know. (I hope that's the case. I need him and his sad little face to come and live with me.)

anyway--eBay is a possible source. searching for "loki minifigure" gets me results for several of the new ones I’ve been seeing, and they all seem to be shipping from Japan or South Korea. the problem is they're all selling for $4.99 plus $7.49 shipping each, which is...more than I want to spend on something I know is a knockoff of some kind when I don't know anything about the quality control and I'm not guaranteed to get what's in the picture. (here's another listing asking $40 total for all 8 figures I bought yesterday, which is actually a better price, and I'd probably end up doing that if I hadn't found them elsewhere, but that's because I have a problem.)

this is why I like AliExpress, because the risks are slightly higher but the prices tend to be much lower, even with shipping prices having gone up a bit over the last couple years. as I understand it, the site is basically just a huge marketplace for tons of different sellers in Asia, like if eBay only allowed fixed-price listings and it was based in China. the vast majority of the site reads like it went through Google Translate, because it probably did. you can find...basically anything there. I have no idea if any of it's authentic. (I also don't know anything about how or where any of the knockoff stuff is made, so...there is that.) I would not, for instance, drop $300 on a Hot Toys Loki from here, even though I absolutely would have the option to do so, for the obvious reason that I'm not going to risk that much money on an item that might be a cheap knockoff or could arrive broken. there is, in general, a solid possibility of breakable things arriving broken, because decent packaging costs more. cheap shipping will be slow (by which I mean like...up to 90 days), and most purchases either won't have tracking at all or won't have accurate tracking, so this is absolutely not a place to buy anything you want to get quickly. you also don't want to just buy something and forget about it, because there are (variable but generous) time limits past which you can't get a refund if you don't receive your items. the site's UI is...mostly functional. you often have to get a little creative with your search terms to find what you want (and sometimes you won’t find what you want through searching, but through looking at related items on the pages of things that aren’t quite what you want or are what you want but aren’t a good price). you will, absolutely, come across a lot of stolen art on things like pins, t-shirts, stickers, and phone cases, which you might not realize until you see something you recognize from a fanartist you like, and obviously that sucks. listing photos are nearly always stock photos, so in many cases they won't tell you anything about the item you're actually getting. you know the Wish app, and all the crazy things people get from that? you can find all the same stuff on AliExpress, at similar levels of quality.

however, if you approach it keeping all that in mind, it can be a great resource. I can't make any guarantees about the site's safety, but to the best of my knowledge it's secure and I've never had any weird charges show up after buying something. it's also my understanding that Alibaba, the parent company, is more or less the Chinese equivalent of Amazon in terms of the amount of business it does, which would probably be pretty tough if customer data were routinely being exposed to thieves, you know? I've also successfully gotten several refunds for items that never arrived, which actually hasn't happened all that often--but knowing that it can happen and that the return period expires, I’ll check back on the site if it seems like it’s been an unusually long time and I’ll make a reminder for myself of the deadline so I can contact the seller in time if necessary.

so the way I shop there is, I don't buy expensive or fragile things in general, because I recognize there's a nonzero chance I'll get a cheap knockoff, or something that was broken in transit because the seller tossed it in a box with no padding and called it good, or sometimes nothing at all. but like eBay, the sellers and items have ratings and reviews from customers, so that helps avoid some risk. items with lots of reviews tend to include at least a few customer photos, which are great for getting a better idea of what the thing you're buying actually looks like. I took a bit of a risk last year buying a Hot Toys (or the equivalent, I actually have no idea) Steve Rogers head for about $20, for instance, but I wasn't super worried about it because the customer photos looked good, the seller I used had a lot of sales and a lot of good ratings, and it was still a lot less than I would've paid for an authentic Hot Toys Steve Rogers head--and in fact he got here just fine and he looked fantastic. I also spent about $20 for a knockoff Iron Studios Loki statue, because in that case it was like...yep I’d love the real thing, nope I’m not willing to spend hundreds of dollars on it, yep I am willing to spend $20 on something that doesn’t look quite as nice but still looks good enough for me in the customer photos. well, and I’ve also bought knockoffs I knew would look bad, because they were cheap and I want all the Lokis and I have enough of an addiction that all the Lokis does in fact sometimes mean “even ones that look really bad” to me.

anyway, uh, Lego-type minifigs. this is an especially good area to go knockoff, because--okay, apparently I can’t link to a page of HeroBloks search results for some reason, but it’s the best resource I’ve found for this type of thing that isn’t just authentic Lego figures. but if you go there and do a search for “loki” you’ll get a bunch of results and you’ll see that they come from like...9 or 10 different brands. Lego specifically has only four Loki options: Avengers Loki in black, Avengers Loki in gray for some reason (which, frankly, looks like a cheap knockoff but isn’t), movie-inaccurate Ragnarok Loki with the blue outfit and the full helmet, an ugly Classic Loki, and a mostly green Loki from I guess the first Thor movie (and then I think they’re going to release a TVA Loki, a Sylvie, and a Throg). all those other results--all those different outfits from every single Loki appearance, and different variations on those outfits, nearly all of them more screen-accurate and/or detailed than the Lego versions--are technically knockoffs. they’re better and you can buy them for way less. (I mean, a lot of them are new so I don’t have them yet, but I do have frost giant Loki, better Ragnarok Loki, better Avengers Loki, opera Loki who actually has another face that’s half-Jotun, and at least one chrome-helmet option, and they all look basically like the photos. so I think I can reasonably expect most of the new ones to look basically like their photos too.)

for reasons that I don’t understand aside from a vague guess that it’s copyright-related, AliExpress pretty much no longer shows full pictures of Lego-type figures in their listings--instead, you have to pick just based on the heads. this is a problem when lots of heads look very similar to each other! luckily, the listings also typically have the actual serial numbers for each figure, as do the HeroBloks listings, so you can cross-reference them to see what you’re really getting. for instance let’s take this listing because it’s cheap and it offers most of the Loki figures that are currently available. say you’re interested in one of the horn-less Lokis. there are...let’s see, five of them, but you have no idea what they actually look like aside from slightly different facial expressions and maybe weapons. however, the first one listed says XH1359 for its color...and what do you know, 1359 is the serial number for this Loki by a company called Xinh. okay cool, how about the last one? the “color” is listed as WM2182--and yes, HeroBloks has a listing for a Ragnarok Loki from World Minifigures with the serial number 2182. (I just ordered all 8 of the new World Minifigures ones yesterday, so again, I can’t personally guarantee yet that they’ll look as good in person as in the pictures--but I think they probably will, and more importantly they cost a whole dollar each.) and if HeroBloks doesn’t have a particular figure, you can probably find something useful just by googling the serial number.

I specifically bought from this listing yesterday because they currently have a bit of a sale going and a deal for free shipping if you buy 10 figures, and I wanted a couple duplicates, so it worked out to be the cheapest option. the same store has another listing for a bunch more Marvel characters, including a couple more Lokis I already had, so it should be pretty easy to get the free shipping so the figures are less than a dollar each and you’re only risking about $10. if you’d rather try one or two and see how it goes, it looks like this listing is probably the cheapest, with figures currently going for a little over a dollar each once you add shipping (although it’s totally possible shipping is more for me because Alaska).

that’s...probably already way more information than you really wanted, but I hope at least some of it makes sense. feel free to ask other specific questions if they come up--I might not be able to give answers exactly, but I can probably tell you what my experience has been, which is better than nothing.

#loki #action figures #lego #marvel cinematic universe #conversations #scintillatingshortgirl19

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yuthoe · 3 years ago

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Day 30: Partners (MONSTA X: Chae Hyungwon)

this is horrible HAHAHAHA it's the second-to-the-last day of MTM and today's prompt is:

Day 30: Sports Setting

and i was going to make like an "i can do anything better than you" plot, but this is the most i can do with the time i had today. was super busy and this deformed baby is what was born. hayyyy idk, i was really looking forward to this prompt bc (1) the premise i made was really fun and (2) it's hyungwon HAHA but apparently my brain juices have run out

ALSO IF Y'ALL ARE WONDERING, the sport they're doing is dancesport aka competitive ballroom, which i also practice hihi i'm so predictable, trying to insert dancesport into every sports related thing lmao. it is 100% a sport and south korea is also a member of the world dancesport federation. it was so hard trying to describe the steps without being overly technical and using the actual names man, brain hurty

PAIRING: Chae Hyungwon x reader. GENRE: fic, fluff. WARNINGS: swearing. WORD COUNT: 1,470.

---

“Two—three—cha-cha-cha! Two—three—cha-cha-cha! One more—cha-cha-cha!” your coach chants, clapping in time to the beat as you and Hyungwon spin around the dance floor. You end with your right feet forward and in an open hold, your hands held lightly in his. The music stops and all that’s audible is your labored breathing.

“Oh my god, fuck,” Hyungwon says, letting go of your hands and doubling over to take in deep breaths. You drop your hands to your hips and walk around, trying to slow your heart rate before sitting down to grab water. “How long until the end of the combo?”

Your coach leans on the wall next to the sound system, leisurely scrolling through his phone. “Not long, just a few more steps,” he says. “Ten minute break and we’ll try the rumba. And let’s try to finish it today, shall we? So we can work on your jive on Wednesday.”

You waddle over to your bags and crouch down to grab your water bottle and squirt some much needed liquid in your mouth. You let out a satisfied sigh after swallowing, breathing out slow before standing back up and wiping your sweat with a towel.

Hyungwon does the same, leaning one hand on the mirrored wall as gulps down water. He rests one foot on its heel and turns it this way and that, flexing and pointing his toes to stretch the muscles; the other foot gets the same treatment.

You go up to the mirror, a little ways away from your partner, and lean your weight on both hands to practice your swivels. Left foot steps to the right and as you change weight, bring the right foot in and face to the left side; repeat starting from the right foot; repeat starting from the left foot.

It’s quiet in the studio as you mind you continue your swivels and Hyungwon reviews the choreography on the floor. For the nth time these past two weeks you wonder how you ended up with him as a partner. You still somehow can’t believe that there isn’t another guy available in the club to compete with you for the Lilian’s Cup this season—and you still somehow can’t believe that Hyungwon of all people offered to partner with you.

It’s not like he’s a bad club member—far from it, actually. He shows up for every club meeting, sure sometimes he’s late but he participates the whole time and even asks to stay behind to work on the choreography sometimes when it’s a particularly tricky variation. You just. Never really talk. He hangs out with the couple of friends he has in the club, and you stick to the club officers who you know from some of your classes.

There’s this tiny voice in the back of your head that’s nagging at you to just talk to him. Because in the five training sessions you’ve had this month, not once have you spoken to each other save for the cursory greetings before and after practice. It’s mostly you both talking to your coach and not acknowledging each other.

Which is really bad, given that you’re supposed to be partners and have chemistry, especially for a dance like the fucking rumba.

You sigh, closing out the couple of cucarachas you did to stretch out your hips and slide over to watch Hyungwon.

He’s just starting the second combo you’ve learned for the routine, the natural top. So you slide into the ballroom hold and do three sets of rumba walks forward in time, looking at anything but him, though you can imagine the surprised look on his face.

After the natural top, you slide into an opening out and prepare for the sliding doors step, when you see Hyungwon stop from the corner of your eye.

His arms are outstretched in the proper positions, his left hand still holding your right, but the rest of his body is stuck in an unflattering stance, eyes flitting about and brows furrowing in frustration. “What’s the next step again?”

“Sliding doors,” you say, and step forward. He steps back as you lean your weight on your forward foot and lift your connected hands up and over your head. You step slowly, allowing him to find his footing in the step, and after a moment of fumbling, you watch both of you in the mirror, properly meeting in the middle and splitting with every side step. After the second sliding doors step, you halt, coming to the end of the choreography so far. There’s still a ways to go, seeing as you’ve only been taught around sixteen bars.

Despite the rumba being a slow dance, you’re still somehow breathing heavily. You lament sometimes that the rumba is your favorite dance because the muscle control it requires is insane. The push and pull between slow and sharp movements gets you off kilter at some points, especially if those difficult turns have to be done without support from a partner. Therefore, communication is necessary to build a solid foundation of give-and-take.

Which means you really have to open your mouth and talk to Hyungwon sometime soon if you want to do well for the Lilian’s Cup.

You pivot to face him, the canvas soles of your heels helping your sharp turn. “Do you need help with the choreo?”

Hyungwon had been staring at the ceiling, no doubt running through the routine in his head once again, but looked down at you when you spoke. He shrugs, bites his lips and says, “Yeah.” He sighs, resting his hands lightly on his hips as he leans on one foot, the other tapping the floor in agitation. “I have a tough time memorizing choreo unless I make it, so…”

You blink. “You make routines?”

Another shrug, and he holds up a hand with the palm down and tilts it from side to side. “Eeehh, sometimes. I’m still learning, and it’s full of basic steps. Definitely not competition caliber yet, not even bronze.”

You purse your lips, nodding. “Still, though, that’s pretty impressive. I’ve been dancing for a while and I can’t create choreo yet.”

“Well,” Hyungwon says, bending his lanky body backwards to open up his chest. “The first step is always the most challenging, I’d say. Once you actually try, it’s easier to take the next steps.” He intertwines his fingers and raises them above his head, groaning from the strain.

You smile at that, and decide that maybe Hyungwon is a better conversation partner than you initially thought. “How about we set like, a day in the week to practice. Just us, you know. I can help you memorize the routines for Lilian’s and you can teach me the stuff you make.” You clear your throat, gaze stuck on your feet, pointing and flexing and looking for something to do. “You know. If you’re cool with it.”

Hyungwon hums. “Yeah, sure.” You look up to see him looking into space, finger tapping on his chin as he thinks. “Can we meet up in the afternoon, though? ‘M not much of an early riser.”

You chuckle. “‘Course. I hate mornings, too.” You wipe your sweaty forehead with your towel and let it hang over your head like a veil as you jog to your bag. You come back to Hyungwon’s side a moment later, holding your phone out. “I also just realized that I don’t have your number yet. It’ll make setting up a date way easier.”

“Mm, you’re right about that,” he says, slender fingers taking your phone and tapping on the screen before handing it back to you. His contact is saved as Dance Partner Hyungwon. “Just a warning tho, I might not reply sometimes because I forget to.”

You tap your phone against your palm and shrug. “S’all right. I’ll just ask one of your friends to pester you then, like Minhyuk. I know he’s pretty… persistent.”

Hyungwon scoffs, but he has a fond smile on his face. “Yeah, that’d do the trick. I’ve known him for years, he won’t shut up unless I humor him.”

You’re about to reply when two loud claps echo through the room. “Okay, you two, break’s over,” your coach calls. “Starting positions please, and let’s finish up this routine today so we can just keep polishing.”

After dumping your towel and phone on your bag and sliding your hand into Hyungwon’s as you get into position, you whisper to him. “I’ll text you later about that after-practice practice.” As the sultry music starts, you have a thought. “And don’t you dare pretend you don’t know me when I finally message you, Chae Hyungwon.”

He bites his lips and looks over your shoulder, fighting a laugh. “Fine, fine,” he says, and composes himself, just in time for your cue to take the first step.

#kdiarynet #monsta x #hyungwon #chae hyungwon #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x hyungwon scenario #monsta x hyungwon imagine #monsta x scenario #monsta x imagine #hyungwon scenario #hyungwon imagine #fic: mine #fic: hyungwon #fic: not spicy #theme: may trope mayhem 2021

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em-neko · 4 years ago

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KISSED BY THE BADDEST BIDDER MAIN ROUTE REVIEW

hey! so i just finished watching kaylaslovely on youtube’s review of the main five (+ rhion) bidders routes and so i thought i would make my own review, because i felt like it. so here you go!

i will be reviewing all nine main routes, or main stories. each story will be rated using these five categories: plot, pace, romance, mc (since she’s different in every story) and love interest. at the end, i’ll give the story its final rating and i’ll let you know whether i recommend it or not.

i will try not to include any spoilers, but just in case, consider this your spoiler warning!

remember, these are my personal opinions.

summary: you are a maid at a hotel called the tres spade hotel, owned by the ichinomiya group. one day, you get dragged into the ivc (an exclusive party for the elite, held inside the hotel) and you basically get lost. while you’re wandering around the area, you enter a storage room where a lot of expensive items are held. little did you know, those items belonged to a blackmarket auction, the ivc was only a cover for said auction. being the clumsy queen that you are, you manage to bump into the statue of venus and knock it over. when the men responsible for the expensive items find you, they throw you into a giant birdcage and put you up for auction instead of the statue.

from here, you can pick one of the main five love interest (eisuke, soryu, mitsunari, mamoru and ota) to buy you. the other love interest (except for rhion) only appear in the second/third season, they purchase you from eisuke (presuming eisuke bought you but you never fell in love). rhion is part of an “au”, but his story technically takes place in season one. does that make sense? okay, perfect. now, on to the review!

EISUKE ICHINOMIYA: THE ARROGANT CEO

plot: 8/10, the plot is a cliche and fairly overused trope... but i love it. it’s well executed and feels unique and original, even though the core of the plot really isn’t.

pace: 8/10, in my opinion, i think the pace was very good. it wasn’t too slow or too fast (although it leaned on the slower side) and i feel like mc fell in love with eisuke at an appropriate time in the story. the ending felt slightly rushed but i feel like that’s a common theme with love 365 stories.

romance: 7/10, not as romantic as other routes (i mean, it’s eisuke we’re talking about), especially at the beginning, but there were moments that made me smile.

mc: 6/10, she’s definitely a bit of a pushover in this route. i wish she stood up to eisuke more, i wish she was sassier, it would’ve made the story sooo much funnier!

love interest: 7/10, eisuke’s kind of a jerk in this story, but hey at least he’s entertaining? (he has his cute moments tho)

final score: 72% (b-)

recommendation: sure? to be honest, it was pretty okay, a little boring compared to the other routes but for the low low price of literally 0$ (his main route is free), it’s not bad.

SORYU OH: THE COLD MOBSTER

plot: 9/10, i really liked his plot! i’ll admit, i’m not a fan of gang related stories, in fact, i usually hate them, but soryu’s story genuinely surprised me! i especially loved the fact that mc made a female friend along the way, usually other females in stories are seen as rivals (as in eisuke’s case), but it wasn’t the case here and that made me really happy. we support women in his household <3

pace: 7/10, the ending was really rushed in my opinion, like way more rushed than the usual rushed love 365 ending. when it ended i was like, “are you serious?” it just felt abrupt. the rest was fine tho.

romance: 8/10, the romance was subtle (due to soryu’s cold and mysterious demeanor), but you could definitely feel it. there was sooo much chemistry between the characters, so it felt really romantic.

mc: 8/10, she’s a little boring, but at least she’s relatable, like her actions/choices make sense in this story.

love interest: 9/10, c’mon, who doesn’t love soryu? there’s a reason why the whole fandom simps for this man. he’s the perfect mix of cold and innocent, and his reaction to regular people things (like going to the supermarket) is hilarious! he’s really sweet too and you can tell that he really cares for mc.

final score: 82% (a-)

recommendation: yes! even if you don’t like gang related stories, i’d still give his route a chance.

MITSUNARI BABA: THE WOMANIZING THIEF

plot: 9/10, i really loved the plot. it’s basically a romcom with action and criminal activity, it’s gold.

pace: 8/10, there were some parts that felt rushed, but overall i think the pace was fine.

romance: 10/10, the most romantic story of them all (i don’t expect any less from baba). their interactions are so cute and i loved watching them get closer and more comfortable with each other.

mc: 8/10, even though she’s kind of dumb, it works because this story is more comedic, her naivety and trusting nature helped the plot advance rather than disrupting it. she’s also really sassy in this story, i loved watching her shoot down baba!

love interest: 9/10, i love baba! i love the womanizer character trope, i know it’s an unpopular opinion but i still love it. he’s actually a total dork and he has the best lines, i smiled throughout the whole story!

final score: 88% (a)

recommendation: it’s one of my favorite main stories, so i definitely recommend it! however, if you don’t like romcoms or womanizers, you’ll probably hate this story lol

MAMORU KISHI: THE SLACKER DETECTIVE

plot: 8/10, his plot is intense. it’s action packed, there’s twists and turns and it definitely kept me on my toes. however, it is a little hard to keep up with at times, i definitely had moments where i got lost.

pace: 8/10, like mitsunari’s story, the pace was a little inconsistent, there were times when scenes felt rushed, idk if it was on purpose because it was a more “action-y” story, but even some of the “romantic” moments felt rushed.. which was a shame because there weren’t many.

romance: 7/10, it wasn’t very romantic, honestly. they had their cute moments, but they were rare. they have good chemistry, like the best friends you hardcore ship, but there just wasn’t much actual romance. i would compare their relationship to judy and nick in zootopia, like friends but a little more.

mc: 5/10, the mc actually bites back in this story, which is refreshing. however, she nags mamoru a lot, and i got sick of it really fast, to the point where i’d roll my eyes whenever she opened her mouth towards the end of the story. she acts like mamoru is a child incapable of taking care of himself, yet she gets angry when he calls her “kid” or treats her like one? wtf? ALSO, one third of the story is her being jealous of a dead person, which is literally so unreasonable and illogical. i could rant about her all day i swear.

love interest: 9/10, mamoru is so relatable, it’s not even funny. i love the way he speaks and i love the way he reacts in situations. he acts like he doesn’t care, but you know damn well the man cares more about mc than anyone else. he’s also surprisingly patient (which, few bidders are), as i said, the mc is really immature in this story, and even tho he acts annoyed, he never actually gets angry at her. there’s something really cozy about him.

final score: 74% (b)

recommendation: if you like action packed stories, i would recommend this story! with that being said, the mc really ruined it for me.

OTA KISAKI: THE DECEPTIVE ARTIST

plot: 5/10, it was too predictable. literally three chapters in i was like, “oh, i see where this is going” and sadly i was right! it was really dramatic, which i actually enjoyed, but the overly predictable plot ruined it for me.

pace: 7/10, the pace was fine, however i feel like mc realized she was in love with ota at the wrong time. i wished they would’ve picked a different moment (maybe later) in the story to make her realize she’s in love with him, or just change the scene completely. because it was like one moment she just saw him as her buyer and at the snap of a finger she’s in love with him, like what?

romance: 5/10, there was literally one romantic scene in the whole story. there were some other cute moments but they were completely overshadowed by ota’s attitude. also, the whole dog fetish really turned me off, especially because the mc was clearly uncomfortable with it.

mc: 7/10, i feel bad for her. she’s really submissive and shy in this story, but like it makes sense (i would act the same as her tbh, i’d be too weirded out to give any sass), so she gets a pass.

love interest: 4/10, ota is so unlikeable in the first season omg i’d almost forgotten how much i used to hate him. however, he becomes really sweet after season 3, you just have to suffer through the first seasons lmao

final score: 56% (d)

recommendation: i really like ota but that story was not it. i wouldn’t waste my coins, honestly. if you really wanna read ota, read one of his substories or any story after season 3, don’t bother with his main route. however, his cg’s were one of the prettiest, so hooray?

SHUICHI HISHIKURA: THE ALOOF POLITICIAN

plot: 8/10, i liked this plot. it felt more serious than the other stories, but that wasn’t a bad thing.

pace: 7/10, same problem as soryu’s story, the last chapters were hella rushed and it made the falling action pretty confusing.

romance: 7/10, it wasn’t very “romantic”, but there were definitely scenes were you could really feel the attraction between the two. i find they compliment each other well.

mc: 8/10, this story was not meant to be a comedy, but the mc made it one. she’s so stupid that it’s actually hilarious, i honestly couldn’t stop laughing at her cluelessness. usually i’d find stupidity annoying, but in this story, i loved it. it made the heavy storyline easier to digest.

love interest: 9/10, shuichi’s a vengeful bitch, which makes his soft moments that much cuter. i like how he has his quirks, and how he has a professional stoic side as well as a soft caring side.

final score: 78% (b+)

recommendation: yeah, for sure. however, if you don’t enjoy the stoic stern hard-to-read type, you might not enjoy this story.

HIKARU AIHARA: THE MYSTERIOUS HITMAN

plot: 9/10, i really enjoyed this plot. it was like a romcom mixed with a dark-ish drama, it was really unique.

pace: 8/10, the pace of the story was good, however i felt like there was a bit of repetition in the story, in scenes and in dialogue.

romance: 7/10, i absolutely love hikaru and mc’s bantering! i think they’re so cute and it’s just really funny to read. it’s subtlety romantic and you can definitely tell that they like each other. with that being said, hikaru’s treatment of mc at the beginning of the story really ticked me off.

mc: 9/10, okay, she had her annoying moments like she always does, but the mc is so funny in this story! she reminds me of the mc from our private homeroom. i really liked her.

love interest: 9/10, here’s the thing, if you don’t like tsundere’s... you’ll fucking hate hikaru, because he’s a tsundere to the max. i love tsundere’s sooo, yeah i loved him hihi. he’s fucking adorable and his dishonesty towards his feelings is really cute. he’s also a sad boy, which made me have a soft spot for him.

final score: 84% (a-)

recommendation: honestly, i did not enjoy this story the first time i read it. i think it was because i didn’t understand hikaru’s sense of humor at the beginning, so i thought he was just a dick and mc was an idiot for liking him, but when i reread it after reading a couple of hikaru’s substories, i actually liked it. so, if you like tsundere’s i’d definitely recommend this story, if not, steer clear.

LUKE FOSTER: THE GOOD DOCTOR

plot: 9/10, i liked it! it felt a lot sadder/darker than the other plots, but it wasn’t overly depressing. there were lighthearted moments throughout and i like how luke gave mc a job instead of using her for personal gain or pushing her around all day. it was also surprisingly intense, with a few steamier scenes here and there.

pace: 8/10, the pace was pretty good, but like hikaru’s route there were scenes that made me go “i feel like i’ve read this before...” there was a rhythm to the story, or at least that’s what it felt like.

romance: 8/10, this story was definitely more intense than romantic. they still had their cute moments though, especially towards the end.

mc: 6/10, the mc is so nosy, impatient and short tempered in this story omg. she’s so quick to judgement and she has no sympathy towards luke for like the first 11 episodes of the story which really bothered me. also, she didn’t seem to understand luke’s way of showing affection and it got a little frustrating. she’s just exceptionally bad at reading people.

love interest: 8/10. if you love sad sweet boys who are surprisingly hot, you’ll love him. his collarbone obsession might weird some people out, but i found it hilarious and it was the perfect way to balance such a sad story.

final score: 78% (b+)

recommendation: if you like sad yet cute stories, i think you’ll really like this one.

RHION HATTER: THE MAD AUCTIONEER

plot: 10/10, his plot is amazing! it’s so adorable, innocent and unique, all while somehow managing to make me a little emo. rhion’s also the only bidder (besides luke) who didn’t use mc for personal gain, he actually bought her for some sort of companionship which was really refreshing (wow, the bar is set low yikes).

pace: 9/10, the pace was really great, it’s a slow burn too, which i love, but the last couple of episodes felt a little rushed.

romance: 10/10, it’s probably as (or maybe even more) romantic than baba’s story. there are so many cute moments, even when mc and rhion don’t really know each other yet. the romance is really sweet and pure, but it feels so real.

mc: 9/10, i love how she interacts with rhion! she’s relatable in this story and her actions are sensible, she has a mind of her own and she isn’t afraid to speak it.

love interest: 9/10, it’s rhion. he’s so precious! his shy and sweet nature is such a nice change from the other bidders and i really love how he slowly opens up to mc. also i think his alter ego of the mad hatter is really cool!

final score: 94% (a+)

recommendation: it’s my favorite story on the app for a reason. i definitely recommend it, even if you’re more into the sexy stories, i still think you should give rhion’s main route a chance! i made my friend who isn’t even into otome games play it and she really liked it.

FINAL RATING: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

i’ll admit, trying to look past the human trafficking bs was really difficult at first, but if you can manage to turn a blind eye to it and try to remember that it’s just a video game and everything’s fictional, it’s pretty good. the love interests are great, there’s some action, there’s a some drama and there’s a lot of humor. the sub stories are really good too!

#kbtbb #kissed by the baddest bidder #voltage inc #otome game #love 365 #love 365: find your story #kbtbb review #otome review #nina’s words

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speedsterredhead · 3 years ago

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((Okay so while it is fresh in my mind, Titans season three review. Here we go.

I think it is only fair to start off with what they did well this season.

The story telling pacing has actually been really good with season 3. I hope they keep this pace for season 4. The plot was never really derailed by randomness and every scene eventually had a pay off. For what they where doing, the plot made sense and had logical but satisfying pay offs.

In terms of characterization for certain characters, now this is only on characterization not trueness to origin stories or comic accurate storylines. They did really good with treating Black Fire with a nuisance that she deserved. I do feel somewhat sad that we did not get to see a sisters battle royal between Kori and Komand’r, they gave a satisfying end to the arch. They did pretty good with Gar, but he needs a ton more screen time. Faithfulness to his comic origins aside, they did a good job delivering Tim’s personality and early skill set. Though I definitely wish they did not make him DC Miles Morales. I liked how they had the basics of Barbra down on personality and how she was played by an actually disabled actress….but that was about it tbh.

In terms of things they did not do so well….Red Hood. Props to Curran Walters for doing the best he could with the script. But really it felt like everything he did was written specifically to make him worse than Dick Grayson because this is the only media on which he flat out murdered civilians and kidnapped kids and used them as weapons….but somehow Gotham picked him as their hero….and yet Dick still said no Titans return? Even though Dick has killed quite a few people himself and his actions have gotten innocent people murdered? Same as Barbra after this season? Tbh makes them seem like big hypocrites. Which brings me to Dick’s character. They made leaps and bounds this season I won’t lie. But they added to Dick’s legacy of murders…at this point I am worried they’ll make poor Tim into a murderer too Jesus Christ. And Bruce, well I already detailed just how I feel there buuut they did have him murder Joker only after he killed Jason so it undermines the act that is for sure. Though I personally see it as Bruce’s awakening that Joker never planned to change I get the critique. Also, they wasted a season giving the Titans and Barbra three of his storylines. So that nullifies a lot of characterization.

The storylines a little more in-depth. Why did we spend an entire season on three Batman story-lines? Dear god. Give me Titans villains God Damn it. Black Fire would have made a great season long big bad, no matter how much I liked what they did I still feel robbed. Season 4 had best be only Titans villains, preferably with HIVE as the big bad as it has been teased since season one. It feels like they are delaying it for no reason. Speaking of things I want to see, bring in Roy and Wally. Seriously we have been teased with them since s1 and I want to know why they left the Titans on this earth. Why do Wally and Dick apparently not speak? And can we get Roy and Donna away from Argus and fighting the actual good fight please? Not work with a shady government organization. Also get Barbra away from GCPD because it will never change. Also if they bring in Bart I demand he says fuck within the first episode just so I can see the internet lose it’s collective mind over it lol.

To wrap up things I think they did well this season. Yeah compliment sandwich format so to speak.

Bruce and Jason’s incredibly complicated relationship. It started off infuriating but as soon as we got farther in the flash backs and seasons we saw the grounds for the eventual make up laid. I do hope we get to see Jason make up with Bruce, Dick, Barbra and at least Garfield. If not on Titans maybe on that Red Hood spin off they have in development. I don’t want to be left hanging.

Okay…as for the rating….and this is me being generous, 3/5. I hope next season somehow improves but idk if it will.))

#long post #titans #titans spoilers #titans season 3 spoilers #titans rating

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bunnylouisegrimes · 4 years ago

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Episode 9 Review (The Future: What Does It Hold?)

Tagging @coldsoba per request

This episode was a headache for me. I was anticipating it, and although it wasn’t entirely bad and it wasn’t the worst, I think this episode highlights all the bad aspects of this season and brings them together. It brings some of the good that this season brought out together as well, but it’s evident to me now that we’re reaching the end so far that the bad is outweighing the good. This episode has me worried about the future of the series, and angry overall. I’m concerned that if this series does continue and has a season 3, it won’t be good, and it will turn into a shit show like The Walking Dead did (they want a season 3, although, based on the low ratings and low viewership, AMC might cancel, no one truly knows yet, especially if BBC and all that other stuff helps boost it).

Before I start this review, I’d like to say right here and now: this is a pretty critical analysis, and possibly has a bunch of unpopular opinions, but I’m saying it anyways. I’m mad, I’m annoyed, and I’m ticked. Last week’s episode ticked me off, this... Oh, man... just know I’m cool if you disagree with me, but I’m hoping by the end you all understand why I feel this way.

Now, don’t get me wrong: like most episodes of this show from this season, despite entire scenes and plot points being bad, it has great moments to enjoy. Did this episode contain lots of action and intensity? Hell yes, and I liked that. Did it stay true to the book ending so far? In a few ways, yes. Pretty much all the ways it didn’t due to the changes they made that were already questionable were the things I didn’t like, which leads me to this: Do I like the direction the story is going, based on what we know and have so far? Hell no. Of course, we don’t know 100% the direction it’s going until next week’s episode, but right now, I’m very on the fence.

Because there is a lot of bad I’m going to discuss, let’s get the good out of the way.

Lou and Vic in the beginning, as per usual, are sweet and I love them. Tabitha and Lou’s interaction was sweet as well. Seeing Charlie frightened and shook was oddly cute, but also funny. And Wayne and Charlie’s interaction... I’m sorry, it was just adorable. I like the idea of Maggie and Vic going to Christmasland together, that was a good choice (although now... I’m uncertain).

To begin the negativity, we’ll start with Charlie and the house scene. I like Charlie confronting his own fears, it’s a very interesting concept. I find it kinda stupid and confusing Charlie wouldn’t know this house exists in his own mind, I mean, it is a part of his own mind, even if it was in the back of it. Why would he not know? Despite that, we’re gonna move onto the meat and potatoes. Now, Cassie’s POV, based on how she was presented in the show (which I still hate, btw, and I am greatly annoyed with how she is not the abuser she was in the book, but I’ve discussed this already a million times), makes sense. We get why she’s pissed, she should be, although I don’t think she understands that her ex-husband had all of this shit happen to him as far as creating Christmasland and becoming a vampire and all that by having a mental snap. It all happened due to his mental pressure. He didn’t have full control (if any control!) over that entire situation. It happened, his life depended on souls and energy from that moment on, and he had to make do with the shitty end of the stick being presented to him. Christmasland is both good and bad, and vampirism is both good and bad, and Charlie has to try to make do with what he can to give himself and his daughter happiness, and focus on the positives. Cassie could’ve maybe given him at least that credit, but she makes it out like, “You’ve brought her happiness in presents and candy, not making her a woman.” Uh... Cassie? Charlie and Millie became vampires out of his control. All this shit happened, how the hell could he reverse all of it? Is there anyway he could? It’s not even explained if he can, but the writers ignore this fact and make it out to be like, “Look, he’s so evil!” Writers, is there anyway he could change these things, even if he wanted to? “Well, no, not exactly, but look, he’s still evil!” So... you’re not even allowing him to have an opportunity to change, and then when he’s stuck in the situation and making the best out of it, even if it isn’t 100% the best way... he’s still super heinous and evil? “Yes!” Okay... whatever... see this is another reason why it annoys me how they’re writing Charlie as “the worst person in the world,” when really, he isn’t. He’s not an angel, but he is not as evil as this show wants to present. Pretty much all of Cassie’s criticisms are valid, but she could’ve at least given Charlie some credit. Nope! But the thing that really bothered me in the back of my mind was how much better this scene would’ve been had they actually written his backstory properly. I kept thinking how much better it would’ve been if an abusive Cassie comes back to haunt Charlie and taunt him, degrading him, and mocking him, how much more sense it would’ve made. And if Millie pointed these things out to him, it might’ve changed his mind some (he would think, “oh, even my daughter kinda agrees with the abuser”). It works here with the way they portrayed her, despite the point I mentioned about Charlie making the best of shit falling flat on Cassie’s end, but it would’ve been 1000% better if they made her an abuser and she scared Charlie, then Millie brings up similar points and Charlie’s POV starts to change a bit.

(Plus, I’d like to add that by doing that, you’re setting potential up for a Charlie redemption arch, and he wouldn’t have to die, Vic and Maggie wouldn’t have to die, and season 3 has interesting potential, and you still have your main characters that we enjoy).

On the topic of this scene, here is a take a friend of mine gathered from it that I definitely can see as well: The point they were trying to make in this scene is that Charlie is a coward. This is their interpretation of Cassie being ‘abusive,’ they didn't leave it out (her being angry at him) like we thought they would. They wanted to give her a concrete reason to hate him so much and call him out for his bad deeds. Also, this house, which was hidden away at the back of his mind, is a mesh of Charlie's fears and his guilt. Based on his facial expressions and his mannerisms, and how he forcefully held Millie, this was all out of fear and guilt for what he did to them that first time and how The Wraith pretty much consumes you. She's literally trying to tell his stupid ass that they can never leave, otherwise, they'll turn to static, which they will. Millie can't go anywhere because she's stuck there and Charlie knows because he was selfish, he robbed her of her future without intending to. Charlie is highkey a yandere, even for his own kid, but it makes sense because he's never really had anything, Also, as to why he’s sort of controlling in a sense: he's driven by fear and also anger if you think about it. Christmasland is how he projects and saving other children because he had a rough and traumatic childhood, he has some serious mental health issues. This I see 100% presented here too, which is a good aspect coming out of this scene. This season does show us a really vulnerable Charlie as they explore his past and give him a breaking point, which we like! But we both definitely agreed that they wanted to make Charlie more of a dick than needed throughout this whole season. Maybe these writers really wanted more drama, especially Manx family drama, through Charlie acting worse? Not so sure. Either way, it gets on my nerves, and it’s almost inconsistent with the narrative they want to spin. They keep going back and forth with “Charlie’s so sad” (which, I would agree, he is, but they even mess that up and somehow still make him look worse) and “Omg he is the worst person ever.” I hope I’ve explained myself well enough in this area, it’s a very complicated and convoluted topic that has me conflicted and annoyed myself.

I think most importantly, the thing that annoys me about all of this Manx family drama the most is: How tf are they gonna “live normal lives” and “escape?” Millie grabbing onto the ornament prevents her from disappearing, which really doesn’t make sense. I’m sure they’ll clarify it next episode, but how is she gonna become a woman and live a normal life? For Christ’s sake, Charlie can barely understand the modern world as an adult man! You think a kid like her is gonna truly enjoy it or understand it? I have my doubts on this and how they’ll write all of that. Plus, she’s a vampire! If she returns human and all the other kids do when their ornaments break, and this is something that confuses me even in the book... where will they go? Oh yeah, they’ll somehow find normal lives! Honestly, it would make more sense to have them move onto the afterlife. Are they gonna keep them human and alive to make them the stars of the show? That possible concept of, “Oh, the kids are gonna be the stars of the show now!” No, writers... just no. Nobody is gonna care about that. Again, it’s a possibility, and it’s a possibility I’m not thrilled by personally. I don’t want them to be the stars. They can be awesome supporting characters, but not the main focus. Idk man, I’m just saying right now, I’m not so sure how this whole concept is gonna work and I fear how they’re going to write it.

Next up: Wayne’s shitty behavior. Wayne is acting like a really big asshole, and it’s getting on my nerves. “He’s now a vampire!” I hear someone say. “Of course he’s acting this way!” Yes, but the reason why it’s especially annoying is because Vic keeps trying and trying to get the point across to him, and it’s all for nothing. We know Vic’s opinions and her heartfelt feelings for her son, and she ends up having to repeat herself when she might as well be taking to the wall. What’s the point? Filler? We already know Vic’s determination is strong. In the book, how Wayne was acting was better. He held onto himself, but he also didn’t, but Vic’s words managed to get across to him quite a few times throughout his journey. This would’ve been much better on screen, but the writer’s were like, “HA HA NOPE!” The scene that really angered me: what was the point of Vic making her speech (which was really nice btw) only for Wayne to not listen... you’d think that’d be the scene where he changes, but the writers decided to turn it into a shock value filler moment (similar to Chris’s death, which, btw, all this nonsense is making his death for near nothing). And, let’s not forget my question from last week.. where is Craig in all of this? Hmmm... guess he decided to take a vacation from helping his biological son, because he’s just gone! Why?! What was the point?! He better at least appear next week, but even then... too late now, buster! Probably should’ve been here earlier! I mean, for real, what was the point of Craig’s character at this point? What a waste of potential...

The worst part imo from this entire episode: Okay, so the writers make Charlie an even worse villain, even giving him those subtle sadistic undertones even as Vic is trying to talk to Wayne (alright, I get it, there’s that element to “saving” Wayne that’s vengeful when it comes to Charlie, but it’s honestly just too much darkness; it’s almost out of character, especially when it’s in a scene like this. I get it, he likes the idea of getting revenge on Vic, but does he have to be THIS dark? That laugh he gave was funny, yes, and I couldn’t help myself but laugh just because of how stupid it sounded, but looking at the reason why he laughed... if anything, he would’ve stood there with a smug smile and say something like, “I told you he loves me more.” They make him way too dark and it really takes away from the fact he is a villain with moral code, but these writers have seemingly forgotten that with the exception of the one scene in episode 7 where he condemns Bing’s rape. Of course, the rapist might be getting a redemption arch anyways, not Charlie, but uh... moving on from all that past shit!). Yeah, as I was saying, they make Charlie darker. Okay, let’s forget my opinions on that for a moment: the characters have the opportunity to make him, this super evil and irredeemable villain, weak to the point he couldn’t get up at all... But Maggie stops him from being in this state? WHAT?! That shit is very out of character for her, and it’s very out of character for Vic to just stop! Vic would’ve persisted, and if the roles were reversed, Charlie would’ve persisted. That’s the thing about them both: they are persistent and protective about their kids. Why did Vic need to stop? “We need to find your son!” MAGGIE! You’ve both tried multiple times already! Focus on Charlie when you have the chance! How stupid are you two?! And better yet: Why would Vic drop the weapon?! She would’ve grabbed it!!!! What the hell is this shit?! I can’t even express how stupid this is... I get you can’t exactly kill him, but you could make absolute certain he would be subdued and unable to even have the chance to get up and grab his weapon. But nope! They need to attempt for the thousandth time to save Wayne in the exact same way, when it has shown not to work. You’d think they’d at least attempt to think of something else, even if their options are limited, but nah, we’re gonna do something very out of character instead... why?

Things aren’t looking too good for Maggie, so I have to ask: is Maggie gonna die? And if so, that is beyond fucking stupid. They set up the potential for a plot with Tabs and Mags for the third season. I didn’t pick up that they officially broke up, rather just separated for now, and... for what?! If she’s seriously gonna die, I’m gonna be extremely pissed. That wasted potential and insult to her character would be so fucking stupid. Yes, she dies in the book (in a different fashion, and it’s probably not that great how she goes there either), but look at all they’ve done for her character, especially giving her a girlfriend, a character that’s become even more important. Her death would be questionably more insulting here for sure!

Overall, while there were things I liked about this episode, I am majorly disappointed and concerned for the future of the series. I’m afraid it will take directions that are not good, and if it does continue, I am afraid it will be a living dead show of sorts. I think the only true way this show can carry on and be good is if all our main most important characters (Vic, Maggie, Charlie, Lou, Wayne, and Tabs) are all alive. Now, Vic and Charlie might be the only exception to this, just because they both do die in the book, and although even that is rough and not the best, it is expectant and I think this show can still be good with Maggie, Lou, Tabitha, and Linda taking care of Wayne (I’m not gonna go into the potential with Millie in this scenario because that’s a rocky topic lol). But if this show follows the path of TWD, where we have a whole new cast of characters you’re not really gonna care about and all the old cast you got to know and love is just gone... that’ll be the cherry on top of this shit sundae. I am excited for the concept of exploring the world of other Strong Creatives, as many rumors speculate the next season will contain, but if the show that explored the world of zombies failed by getting rid of pretty much their whole old cast... what about this show? They’ve already messed up quite a few things I don’t like this season I’ve discussed before, and if they go the route of doing anything that can get worse... I can’t describe how disappointing it would be. Not saying things have to be perfect or my way all the way, but it has to be generally good and enjoyable for everyone. Growing attached to a cast of characters only to erase many of them and focus on a new one is not a way that is good and enjoyable for everyone. AMC: This happened with TWD; for the love of God, don’t let it happen with NOS4A2.

As I said in my last review: let’s hope next week is better, and AMC, for the second time in a row, doesn’t deliver a disappointment of a show.

#nos4a2 #nos4a2 vic #nos4a2 charlie #nos4a2 maggie #maggie leigh #charlie manx #vic mcqueen

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rosaline-kei · 5 years ago

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Hanji and Mikasa - A Series; Part 1

Title: Pain and Pills and No Peace

Disclaimer:I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.

Parts: ( 1 )

Synopsis: The idea of becoming the new Commander of the Survey Corps, the memories of comrades dying and the mere thought of more of them dying should she make a wrong move is driving Hanji Zoe further down into the dark path of insanity. Alone in the office in the darkest hours, Mikasa Ackerman enters the room quiet and distant to pass her a report. And the last thing either of them expects is for vulnerabilities to seep through from one of them. They were mere strangers—acquaintances at most—after all.

(PLATONIC Hanji and Mikasa)

Rated: T

Pairings: Hinted Levi Ackerman / Hanji Zoe

Read it also on / Please Leave a Review at:

Ao3 or FF net

Author’s Note : I told myself to take a break from writing because of my stupid busy life, but something frustrating happened to me yesterday that I ended up spending my entire night writing this as a vent lmao.

I really love Mikasa and Hanji a lot as characters, and I wished they interacted more I guess and had a closer relationship(platonic) like a mother-daughter?? Idk haha; the idea just intrigues me. I hope it isn’t OOC.

This will be a series of one-shots/two-shots? (Under the series name 'Hanji and Mikasa' on tumblr tags and my ao3) BUT it won’t be updated normally; it’s just a side thing I’ll write when I have time and have Writer’s block I guess.

- - -

The brutal sounds of swords clashing against one another rang through the area, accompanied by the tragic suffocating screams of the living that abruptly halted once their corpses came crashing down on the rock-hard ground that reverberated relentlessly one after another. There was no end. Deafening roars left the giant monsters'—Titans'—mouth non-stop as they mercilessly trampled the ants beneath them along with their homes. It was like an earthquake. A bombing. It was so loud, so agonizing. So noisy. A titan-crazed woman like her should have been absolutely and undeniably thrilled at the mere sight of those beasts stomping their way towards her. But she was only human too, a human distressed by her fallen comrades that ceased to ever see life way beyond the walls and the vast Ocean. Freedom. They ceased to ever see freedom.

And that woman was none other than Hanji Zoe. She looked up wearily, knowing the fight must go on regardless. It had to go on. No matter how much she had lost, no matter how much she was losing it… the fight had to go on. The fight, the war, the battle it had to be carried out to the very bitter end until a victor emerges… right?

She looked up towards the papers she held. The papers she had to finish looking through before tomorrow came. Or maybe it was already tomorrow, Hanji couldn't tell for her curtains were closed shut, there wasn't any hope in that for a light to shine through. All she had was the lit lamp and other fixed lightings around her. But even with that, all she could see ahead was darkness.

She sat alone in her office. It was quiet, really. Silent as the dead. And yet, those dreadful memories came at her, haunting her with those excruciating sounds that never failed to send a shiver down her spine. It was a quiet room, but whatever was going on in her head was anything but that.

I shouldn't have been Commander. It didn't help that thoughts like that would intrude in her head frequently, worsening the voices. Why Erwin? Why me?

Eren had left—no, he had abandoned them not too long ago and travelled to the enemy's side. He went on ahead to pursue his mindless schemes that not even his close companions had an inkling about nor could they ever understand why. Not even a goodbye, had he left them with. He left without a warning, fled away to some island to achieve what he called 'freedom'.

"Not too long ago… you gave me solutions…" Hanji recalled all the experiments, all the fun she had with him. He had been Humanity's Last Hope. And that was what Hanji truly believed, for the results she obtained from him after countless experiments had undeniably paved a path for them to walk towards Freedom and hope. Away from those titans—cruel beings that Hanji was so helplessly fascinated with. But given the chance, Hanji rather trade her and their entire existence in exchange for all of them back. Her comrades. The ants they stomped on. "And now look at you… giving me problems and trouble." If it hadn't been for the knock on her door (a sound that she welcomed; it was better than the chaotic and piercing noises in her head.), she wouldn't have realised her clenched hand that came close to crushing the paper she was gripping. There was a sudden temptation to throw that paper away, everything on her desk away. Everything. She didn't want to be in this room, left alone with nothing but traumatic flashbacks and exhaustion. She didn't want to be in this room meant for a Commander. A position she believed she could never live up to. She—

The second knock on the door interrupted her disorderly train of thought, "Come in!" She quickly said, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Maybe even with more enthusiasm than how she was whenever she conducted those experiments of hers back then.

She hoped it was Levi. Please be Levi. It was selfish of her to think this, Hanji knew. Because even this late at night, she knew Levi and many others still had responsibilities to carry out. Nonetheless, she continued to wish for that Ackerman to appear. Perhaps he wasn't the best man to deal with someone who was in such a distraught and emotional state. But, if anything, he knew how to clean up messes. And more than anything, he was one of the few who could deal with the madness of Hanji Zoe. He was one of the few who understood her. He was someone close to her that she hadn't lost yet, and hoped to never lose ever. He was someone she needed company from. So please, she thought. Let it be—

"Sorry to bother." The feminine voice greeted her upon opening the door, and her height betrayed and ruined any remaining hope of Hanji's that it could be Levi. She was greeted by the other Ackerman. "It's Mikasa Ackerman. I have the reports you wanted from Armin."

"A-Ah…thank you. Place them here." Hanji gestured to the piles of reports that she still had to go through. She felt lucky that she hadn't given into the temptation to rip apart and throw everything away; because then she wouldn't know how to explain to Mikasa, who probably knew nothing of the true pain residing in her heart. She did feel disappointed that it wasn't Levi, but what could she expect? This wasn't a fairy-tale where happily ever after would appear so conveniently at the doorstep.

She watched Mikasa enter the room, and briefly envied her. The way she walked in was awfully graceful, her movements were smooth and the way she held Armin's report with such care made Hanji wonder how could she be so calm. Or maybe, it was just her in the entire Survey Corps who was going overly insane. If it weren't for the eyebags that betrayed Mikasa, Hanji would've been tempted to ask her how she got through it. The exhaustion. She had almost forgotten that people were different. Thus, they all dealt with things differently. And that included Mikasa.

Her pain could never be compared to Mikasa. They were all different. Mikasa currently grieved the loss of a loved one who was still alive and breathing but lost while Hanji suffered from her own inferiority complex she didn't even know she had. How could she fit in Erwin's shoes?

Mikasa placed the report down just as gently as the way she came in. She even took the initiative to straighten the pile of papers, eliminating any corners and edges that had been sticking out. Hanji nodded in thanks, and when she took a glimpse at Mikasa, she didn't understand. She couldn't decipher the emotions in her eyes nor face; aside from her weariness indicated clearly by her eyebags. Other than that, she looked blank. Even Levi who was similar to her in more ways than one, showed more emotion than this. Then again, he only ever let that vulnerability slip when he was alone with her. He could reveal so many things to her in a single look and without a single word. Perhaps it was because they were close, unlike how she was to Mikasa.

That or, her missing eye was the cause of her inability to see. To really see. And for a fleeting moment, Hanji pondered if the loss of her left eye was the reason why she couldn't see the damn solution to this mess.

"Do you need me to pass anything to anyone, Commander Hanji?" Hanji winced at the end of her question. Irritation and guilt filled her for a small second upon that reminder—that she was the Commander. She would take back her earlier nod of thanks she gave to the if she could, it wasn't the papers that needed cleaning up anyway. No, no Hanji… I'm being too… petty. It isn't Mikasa's fault. She doesn't know that I…don't want to…

"No, thank you for bringing it here. Thank you." Hanji wondered if she had sub-consciously said her thanks twice verbally because she felt bad for wanting to withdraw her nod of thanks earlier, for fixing and straightening the other reports. "You may leave."

Back to being alone, was what Hanji wanted to think before bracing herself from the attacks going on in her head. But Mikasa didn't move.

"Mikasa…? Is—"

"Sorry." She apologised, her eyes shifting towards the cupboards around the office. "May I ask something…?"

Did she notice the damn mess I'm in? Hanji pondered, anxiously. There were only a few people Hanji dared to let her guard down completely. And Mikasa wasn't one of them. She couldn't let her own subordinates see any more of her weakness, because she feared it may affect their faith in her.

Truth be told, she felt like sobbing on the ground right now like a damned whiny, bratty child because the stress was too much. It was all too much. Every decision had to be approved by her and a single wrong move and approval could cost another hundred soldiers. She missed and craved and wanted her life back as the scientist. Admittedly, she could take that life back. She could give up this title to someone probably more suitable. But because she trusted Erwin so much, she couldn't just carelessly and ignorantly toss this burden of a title away. She couldn't just run away. She couldn't. Because at the end of the day, Hanji wanted freedom too. It's just… she didn't want to seize it in a way as harshly as Eren.

"Yes, what is it?" Hanji forced a calmness in her voice, hoping that this solider worth a hundred wouldn't see through her façade.

"Do you have… any medicine here?" Mikasa queried, "I've been having… insomnia and headaches. It's been affecting my performance recently and I want it to stop. The infirmary cabinets are locked, and the nurses nor doctors aren't around right now…" She sounded so absurdly and naturally nonchalant as she said this that even if she was faking it, Hanji would be unable to tell. How does she do it?

Despite Hanji's natural curious nature, she chose not to pry. There was a line and she didn't want to cross. Besides, with all these tragedies happening… she was gradually forgetting what it felt like; to be a scientist. To be curious and to have one's curiosity piqued.

"Yes, I do. Hold on." Hanji opened one of her drawers, taking out an unopened bottle of pills and passed it to Mikasa. "Take one only. It's the stronger type. Afterwards, tell the others working to call it day. You need rest." She hadn't taken any pills for her exhaustion, and the only 'medication' she received for her suffering came in the form of a cup of tea prescribed by Levi. Even if she knew these pills could numb her pain and give her a temporary fake paradise, she knew better than to take them in her state right now. She knew better than to be too reliant on medicine like that, that could become a poison if Hanji ever went mad enough to decide to indulge on them as opposed to just simply take it. She didn't even know how and why she got them in the first place, and she couldn't care less about it.

Hanji watched her cautiously examine the bottle, before passing her a cup of water she poured for herself earlier, but never really got to drink. Maybe it was because she got a little too use to Levi's random appearance, coming in with two cups of tea that never failed to soothe her senses. She had almost forgotten that he was a busy man who had other matters to deal with, too.

"Here." She added, and Mikasa nodded in thanks before she took the cup, that had accidentally knocked itself against a pencil on the table, causing it to drop. "Ah—"

"I'll pick it up." Hanji assured, before bending down to search for the fallen stationary. Despite it being of a lighter sound as compared to the sounds of bones being crushed, Hanji found it all the same. Just as how the pencil presumably accidentally fallen, a single accident in her calculations, could result in more than a single death. Tsk… even a damn pencil can remind me of these things… She sighed as she thought this, before grabbing the pencil. Well, unlike the pencil… I can never bring them back up to life…

She remembered telling Mikasa something like that some time back.

'I also have people I want to raise back up…there are hundreds. It's painful, even so we have to step forward.'

They never talked about it since. They moved past it, and Hanji assumed it was a sort of understanding that didn't need any further confrontations. There didn't seem like there was a need to.

"Well, whatever…" Hanji muttered to herself as she slowly rose back up to her seat. And despite having one eye left that still required the assistance of a lens to see clearly, it was sharp enough to identify the danger that Mikasa had just placed herself in.

Hanji never felt her tiredness disappear so fast, nor did she think she would be able react so swiftly when her body had felt heavy this entire time. She hadn't physically felt her heart palpitate this quick in a while, and she hated that it was because of fear, yet again, and not because of some fun thrill. Her arm stretched out across the table and ruthlessly snatched Mikasa's own arm before she could ingest the pills she had in her palm. The force of her snatch inevitably caused the pills to drop on the ground, and the table had felt the impact from Hanji's rough movements and as a result, which caused the papers Mikasa helped arranged neatly to disperse and fall.

That other entirely different mess was the least of their concern, though.

The pill-drop silence was incredibly mortifying, and the intense gaze of Hanji Zoe didn't lessen the tension any bit.

Mikasa was frankly startled by Hanji's reaction, she hadn't expected for her reaction to be that immediate after her 'accident', considering she looked too tired. She had underestimated her.

"I said take one, Mikasa." There was a sternness in her tone, and even if that statement wasn't exactly a reprimand it sounded like a chide. But it didn't sound like how a Commander would scold her subordinates though, there was something else hidden beneath the anger and worry in her tone that Mikasa and Hanji were yet to identify. Mikasa wanted to rip her gaze away from Hanji's, but she couldn't. Her single eye could hold her so tightly, it was quite suffocating. Her grip too.

There had been a rumour a long time ago that it was Hanji who was the scariest when she got angry, and here Mikasa was to confirm that rumour to be a fact.

"I'm sorry." It was her third sorry that night and unlike the other two, this one felt broken. She was breaking, her perfect façade was shattering. Even a soldier worth a hundred had their limits. This was Mikasa's, and she didn't know why.

There was no mention of Eren. No mention of her suffering; no implications of it. There was no conversation made about the current situation about him. All she did was enter her office to deliver a report. And who would've known her desperateness to seek a brief escape would've gotten the best of her, which led to her meeting a fierce look upon being caught red handed for the defiant actions she conducted when she got her hands on what she could be her escapism.

Or maybe Hanji's intervention in her silliness, in her recklessness had reminded her of everything—it had reminded her how careless she could be when she was troubled. She hadn't even realised she took more than one pill until after Hanji pointed it out. Had she lost so much that she couldn't even control her body; that seemed to seek an escape even if it'd cost her deathly consequences?

And it was all because of one man. She felt like a fool. She felt like a fool for still caring about him so much. She wondered if she was in denial about who he was and the destruction he might soon bestow to the innocent. She didn't even know what he was doing anymore, or who he was. And for some reason she felt responsible for it. For him.

But that one man was the root of everyone's current stresses and problems and predicaments. Some just suffered more because of the ties they made with him… the ties that they couldn't cut. The ties she couldn't bring herself to cut. She was still wearing that damned, precious red scarf.

I'm pathetic. "I'm sorry." It was her fourth sorry, and she managed to look away and take back her arm when Hanji regained her composure, as well as softened upon seeing her distress; the distress she was unable to conceal in front of her Commander.

Mikasa had somewhat fought this woman before, back when she stopped her from saving her beloved friend, Armin. It was safe to assume that she wasn't afraid of her, even if she was her Commander. For her loved ones, she was fearless.

However, in this moment, where she let her vulnerability carelessly slip. She was. She was terrified and she didn't know why. Was it because she didn't want people who weren't so close to her see her at her weakest and lowest point? But then again, she didn't even want Armin to see this side of her.

Everyone was suffering. Everyone was pained. Everyone was tired. She didn't want to add on to that and burden all of them even more. There was just no time and space for her to act like a childish girl.

And ironically, she was here, breaking… in front of her. It was pathetically hypocritical.

Even if she and Hanji weren't close, Mikasa wasn't blind. She knew her Commander was undergoing her own troubles, too. The way she saw Hanji grip her paper as if she wanted to shred it to pieces, the way her remaining eye looked so sad when it saw Mikasa; as if it was looking for some form of solace that she couldn't get from her. If anything, it would be extremely absurd if anyone here wasn't uneasy about this entire predicament. But Mikasa said nothing about that to Hanji. Because she knew not to meddle. Because she knew she wasn't the person she was looking for.

And because she knew her Commander was so troubled, she resented herself even more for looking like a mess in front of her, for almost attempting something so stupid and something that she didn't fully consider the effects of the aftermath had she done that.

Now she wanted nothing more to leave, even if her gaze softened she still felt the lingering intensity of her look piercing right through her soul. She didn't want to give her more trouble to deal with either.

"…I'll take my leave now, Commande—"

"Don't." Hanji had cut her off harshly, she didn't need that now. "Don't call me that." She sounded sharp, and her voice was raising. And it was the second time she snapped in less than an hour. "Not now. Not here. Just call me Hanji."

A pause. It was brief, and she didn't give Mikasa enough time to even glance at the spilled pills on the hard, wooden floor.

"Are you tired, Mikasa?" It was an odd question, wasn't the answer obvious enough? There were a few times when Mikasa had observed Hanji's curious, crazy and hyper nature. She always found it an oddity. She was an enigma to her. She couldn't understand her craze over titans, and there were times she forgot she was human too—considering there were moments where she neglected the well-being of others for the sake of experimentation. But she was reminded, how this crazy scientist was a human too… back then, on the roof, her arms wrapped around her as both a restraint and a comfort.

They never talked often. Their relationship was merely soldier and Commander. Thus, they never talked about that incident, nor bothered to seek solace from one another even if Hanji had back then revealed to her that their pain was so similar.

"Yes." Mikasa answered truthfully, there was no hiding anymore. Her eyes found itself fixating on the pills she dropped, and she felt her stomach clenching and churning with disgust and disappointment at her pathetic state. Because how dare she attempt to run away when she was the one who wanted to bring him back the most? And how dare she forget his words that had been her motivation to push on?

"But… in order to win we must fight." She uttered, and faced back towards Hanji whose eye brimmed with such anguish and agony upon hearing her words that Mikasa couldn't possibly understand why. "I… shouldn't have… I just… right now… in that moment I was—"

She was interrupted yet again by Hanji, whose hands reached out— albeit not as forcefully as just now— and held both her hands together, gently.

"Treasure your life, Mikasa." A part of Hanji realised how hypocritical she sounded, because she couldn't tell herself that sometimes, during dark times. However, this was what she truly wanted Mikasa to believe.

There was a tenderness in Hanji's voice, it didn't sound as authoritative as compared to earlier but rather more… motherly. Mikasa didn't know how else to put it. Regardless, she was surprised that Hanji seemed to care for her a lot, even if they weren't close. Perhaps, it was because she didn't want to lose anyone anymore no matter how trivial their connection was.

Hanji parted her lips, as if wanting to offer more soothing words but Mikasa stopped her before she could. "It's okay." She assured, before carefully withdrawing her hands from Hanji's grasp that soon loosened. "Thank you, C-… Hanji." Mikasa quickly corrected, and Hanji shook her head. "I barely said anything… don't thank me." She sighed softly. And it was true, she didn't offer that much comforting words. But there was something unspoken and unsaid in the moment that both of them seemed to understand. Maybe it was because at the root of it all, their current troubles was all because of… him.

"I should… leave." Mikasa spoke, not wanting to keep Armin waiting too long. She wanted to ask Hanji whether if she would relay this incident to others, but something told her this incident would stay between them. She turned, and made her way towards the exit.

"Wait." Hanji called, albeit a little hesitantly. "Do you… really think the only way to win is to fight?"

Mikasa didn't turn around and only halted in her steps. She considered Hanji's words, and for the first time contemplated the words Eren had told her almost a decade ago.

Everyone was tired from this fight. From this constant war that stole too much from everyone. It would be so much better if things could be sorted more… peacefully.

"I… don't know." Mikasa was caught off guard by the doubt in her voice, but decided to shove it down. "I just… want everything to go back to how it was before." And suddenly, she sounded desperate.

"Me too." Hanji said solemnly, before taking a deep breath. That was enough for today, it was better for Mikasa to go rest and collect her thoughts as opposed to staying in this sullen room, chatting about sad things to make her sadder. Hanji could only hope that insomnia wouldn't consume her that night. "Tell the others who had been overworking to take a break tomorrow too. I think you all should have time to… recuperate." She instructed before bidding her a farewell. "Sleep well, Mikasa."

"You too, Hanji." The unfamiliar word or rather name left her lips; it was strange calling her so informally. But she was still in this office, and the least Mikasa could do was follow her request to the end. "Take care." And Mikasa left.

Hanji observed her as she walked off, until her vision was cut by the closed door. And she couldn't help but feel an immense amount of pity for her. "She still carried her façade as she walked out…" She mumbled to herself, having noted the exact smooth and confident movements Mikasa walked out with just as she came in. How much of her pain was she keeping to herself? At least I have Levi to talk to… and so does he with me. But Mikasa… it seems…

As Hanji pondered about this, she found herself walking towards her windows, before ripping her curtains open and was greeted by the moonlight as opposed to the rays of sunlight. And in this moonlight, one thing caught her eye.

She walked towards the little object that sat innocently in the little light the moon offered, and crushed it with her foot mercilessly. The pill, that was. One of the pills. "I ought to throw that bottle away… it's not like I even eat it." She sighed, and walked towards the area where her papers were scattered on the ground, without a care in the world for that crushed pill. She now wondered if this was how some of those titans felt whenever they stepped on them, killing them.

As Hanji bent down and gathered the scattered pieces of paper, she then found herself wondering if Mikasa saw as much vulnerability as she had seen in Mikasa. And if not, she wondered if the world had enough bad humour to make her crumble as much as the raven had in front of her.

"Oi, shitty glasses." A familiar voice dragged Hanji back to reality. "I knocked three times and you didn't answer." She had been immersed in her thoughts so much that she hadn't even noticed.

A wave of relief flooded in her heart when she heard him, though. She slowly turned towards the male who clicked his tongue agitatedly at the clutter of papers on the ground. He made his way towards her, placing their cups of tea down, and was about to offer her help after making a snide remark. But stopped. Flinched and hesitated.

Hanji was confused, and was about to ask why until Levi spoke. "Why are you… crying?"

Now, she realised the tears coursing down her cheeks like a river. But oddly, she laughed. A laughter so fatigued yet hysterical, which increased Levi's concern.

"I don't know." She lifted her glasses shakily and wiped a tear away. "I'm just… very tired."

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booksneedcaffeinetoo · 5 years ago

Text

Book Review: House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City #1) by Sarah J. Maas

House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas

This review is going to be LITTERED with SPOILERS because idk how to talk about this book without giving away the whole plot.

Consider yourself officially warned.

I’m still debating on my rating, but for now here is my review. Fair warning: it is rant-y and ramble-y and hasn't been edited yet. I'll clean it up when I come back for a rating.

As always, content warnings are listed at the bottom!

Overall Positives:

• SJM has actually included a few gay characters….now they are all very minor side characters (Isiah, Fury, Juniper, and Declan) who are only present for maybe 3% total of the novel, but at least they exist??? So she gets points for actually having gay characters who aren’t killed off. You can say that she’s making an effort.

• The banter between Bryce and Hunt was pretty funny

• That scene with the knock-off My Little Pony dolls was funny

• I think there might've been a reference in the book to First Aid Kit (the sister folk duo) and it made my heart squeal because I love that band SO MUCH!

• Bryce actually has a great relationship with her mom and her stepfather! And they are both alive! And stay alive! I’m actually struggling to recall a book I’ve read where the main character in the book has a). both parents alive and b). a great relationship with them both. So that was really refreshing!

• Hunt in a sunball cap.

• Bryce and Hunt taking photos together. Way too adorable.

• Ride or die friendship. I love books that emphasize the importance of friendship.

• That LIGHT IT UP DANIKA LIGHT IT UP LIGHT IT UP scene....like i felt that...her happiness. so sweet. i teared up at that scene ngl....

• Pretty good depiction of grief. How even after years the pain of losing your friend doesn’t go away. How some people cut themselves off to cope and others don’t. How some take out their anger on the closest target. How some people remember the dead one’s birthday and other don’t. etc. etc.

• It really was a slow burn because they like didn’t even kiss until 75% into the 3,000 page book.

• Rhun is my favorite character in this book. He’s a goth softie king. I also loved the Demon Cat. And Fury. And Declan. And Flynn. And Isaiah. And Hunt. And Lele. And the dog. And Jesiba. And Randall. And….well….that’s about it….

• I have recently been getting more and more into Urban Fantasy so I am excited and glad that this book is UF. I also like how it takes place in a different world with a different history (although for some reason I went into this book under the impression it takes place in New Orleans…)

Overall Negatives:

• If I ever have to see the word “alphahole” again it will still be too soon. I get that she was going for meta and trying to poke fun at how the trope in so many UF books includes an alphamale love interest….but it just doesn’t really work because none of the guys she was calling an alphahole was actually acting like one??? Okay so this is kind of ramble-y but whatever. When I think of an alphamale love interest acting like a…*shudders*…. alphahole I think of the stereotypical shifter romance/erotica novel where the guy likes wants to punch any guy who stands too close or talks to his mate. I think of him making outrageous claims, always posting a guard, never letting her leave the house, etc. all without any cause. Having a literal demon serial killer who (at this point in the book) you believe RIPPED APART AN ENTIRE PACK OF WEREWOLVES and is killing everyone who is close to working on the same case as you and you are a half-fae who NEVER carries a weapon with you, doesn’t have magic, and no one beside your mom, stepdad, and dead bestie know that you can turn into a flashlight at will…..yeah it makes sense that the people who care about you would like you to have a guard. But that’s not “alphahole” behavior. Nor is when you’re starving yourself from guilt him being concerned and wanting you to eat, or wanting you to try to take care of yourself….that’s not “alphahole” behavior, it’s being a good friend/sibling. If someone wanted a guard on her PRIOR to her investigating the murder than yeah….that would be “alphahole” 100%. But that’s not what happened…one of the highlights of the book was Hunt calling out Bryce by telling her that she is actually the “alphahole” here.

• Fucking sunball = baseball. WHYYYYYY I thought it was soccer for so long until Hunt tossed on a “sunball cap”

• I thought that Violet Hall from Pucked was the most infuriating main character I have read in a long time until I met Bryce fucking Quinnland. It is a pet peeve of mine when a character acts like someone (usually lazy or a partier) and then gets pissed because people think they are how they act??? Like, if you act like an asshole then don’t be shocked if people think you are an asshole. Also she was someone who was terribly selfish and stupidly reckless for no reason for 99% of the book. Yeah she’s ride or die for her friends which is supposed to be her best quality but she is just terribly rude to so many people. Like take Lele for example. Bryce treated her horribly until Hunt was sold again, then was friends with Lele for like a week which someone equated to Lele being willing to die for her???

• Part two of that bullet above^: Why was everyone willing to die for Bryce? Maybe I hate Bryce because she reminds me too much of Jane Salone from The Bold Type with her ‘I’m always right’ attitude. But yeah, everyone is willing to die for her. I don’t get why though. Also everyone wants to fuck her. She can’t walk down the street without like five dudes wanting to fuck her. It was so annoying. Also how the hell has she not died by age 25!?!? There is a different between being bitchy with your algebra teacher versus being bitchy with some guy who could smite you before you blink. And all of them are like ‘oooh she’s not afraid of me like everyone else how charming’ and I’m just like NO. That’s like if I intentionally pissed off some mafia dom and instead of making an example out of me for dissing him in front of his mafia bros, he’s like ‘oooh you’re sassy wanna fuck?’ MAKES NO SENSE!!!

•Part three of the above^: okay before someone comes at me and says ‘well would you be saying the same things if she was a guy doing an acting this way’ well probably. I love the KATE DANIELS (Magic Bites) series. And Kate is a no-nonsense, can come across rude, and gives zero fucks what anyone else thinks about her. Kind of like Bryce, but less bitchy and has the power and skills to back up her recklessness. (No one around Bryce learns of her secret lightbright gift or of her sharpshooting skills until the very end so I am maintaining my ‘she’s reckless’ viewpoint based on everyone around her not knowing of her abilities when she does all of this dumbshit). Kate also is a fucking martyr who runs towards danger even when the odds are against her. Just like Bryce. But I love Kate and hate Bryce. So…yeah I think it was just a Bryce issue. It took until about 41% with the whole phone-Sandriel thing for me to stop finding her insufferable….but I still never really liked her after that...I could stand her for the occasional paragraph or two

• Speaking of martyrs…why is everyone one in this book!?!? NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE A MARTYR!!!

• Another reason I hate Bryce (yes I’m back on that Bryce shit) is because after Hunt broke her heart he immediate thought upon learning who he was going to be sold (back to his old owner who is a sadistic fuck) her thought was good, he deserves it and all he did was break her heart and not want to be a slave anymore and kept something he knew would destroy you (which yeah, keeping that secret furthered his cause but still…) and I just????? Have???? No words???? Like girl you have a RIGHT to be PISSED but jfc that doesn’t equate to TORTURE.

• Ugh and then her whole ‘take me instead’ bullshit was so reminiscent of that Jules and Emma whipping scene from Lady Midnight I almost gagged for the level of cheese and martyr-syndrome

• Why is everyone described as “brown,” “golden brown,” or “tan”?! It’s like SJM is trying to not make everyone white but doesn’t want to fully commit…

• And was anyone uncomfortable/cringed at the ‘white angel wings are supreme to any wings with color’ bit....

• I hate books where the werewolves can talk outloud in human form. I cringed.

• Why was the calling people by their last name thing not consistent? I’ve read books before where characters flip between using another character’s first and last name, but there is context behind why they choose one or the other: the professional setting, if the person is happy or upset, who is being addressed, etc. But you’ll get Hunt calling Bryce “Bryce” and “Quinnland” within a sentence of each other? And literally every character did stuff like this. It was weird and not consistent at all.

Negatives About the Plot:

• This book really felt like three books in one: Part One (first 12ish%) being the day leading up to the Pack of Devil’s murder. And I do mean like every boring thing that happened. Part Two (the next 66ish%) being the murder investigation. Part Three (the last 22ish%) being where all the action occurred. The book felt like it couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. The summary promised a murder investigation so I was expecting it to be a KATE DANIELS-esque plot. But nothing of true importance really occurred during that investigation. We got some cool flashbacks with Danika, and some sweet moments between Hunt and Bryce…but that’s it. SJM isn’t Brandon with a Stormlight Archives (The Way of Kings) complicated interwoven plot. I think the book as whole would have been better if it was about 300 pages shorter.

• Nothing in the plot of true importance happened until the last 100 pages or so.

• I mean we literally got every single thing that happened during every single day of their investigation…it was….too much detail.

• When I got to 80% like every other chapter felt like the book should end. It could’ve ended on a cliffhanger. Like right after Hunt was found on that boat. But nope….

• Figures. SJM can’t have a main couple unless they both are super special. Did anyone else feel like she just recycled parts of ACOMAF in this book? Hunt: has wings and super special powers. Bryce: absorbs some super-fae juiced up power from a cauldron—er….I mean arch—to get extra powers and become the most super cool and super special fae in all existence because god forbid we have a heroine who isn’t the most physically powerful person ever. I mean, to hell with mental strength. Must be physically magically powerful or you’re no good!

• The only plot points that surprised me were the hunt being at the drug bust (because we got nothing from his povs that he was remotely interested in going back down that revolution road especially after his whole meeting with Briggs…still iffy with this one, because his thoughts in that cell sound like he actually was on board with it until he called it off because the drug is too dangerous but his call to the viper queen said she owed him a favor so…..) and Micah’s weird horn hard-on. Literally nothing else surprised me...

• I really though Reid would play a bigger role considering Bryce used to date him and is fam is responsible for that drug....but nope. The dude is like never even mentioned.

• Ugh...that villain speech. Maybe I'm just like...what's the point? Why not just zap the bitch why do you need to tell her your life story!?!?!

• Also let's be real, Danika's password never would have been allowed to be that simple nor remain unchanged for 2 years. But whatever.

• It’s also pretty cringe that Bryce freed Lele just for her to die…………..

• Why is Jesiba’s shop impenetrable (the building and cameras) until it’s convenient for it not to be…I mean it sounded like nothing could break into her building or the cameras but then… Micah just easily waltzed in there and Declan easily hacked into the security cameras….makes no sense but okayyyyyyy…..

• ....or about how the dog can teleport and undo locks until once again it's convenient for him not to be able to so she can dramatically save the day (look I also have issues with her valuing her pet's life over Lele's in that scene...also isn't the dog supposed to be like terrifying, it could've fought while her and Lele got out. not really sure how the water which delayed him like two seconds helped more than her dog would've....look, i love pets and i don't want him to die but i don't want Lele to die either!)

• Bryce and Hunt literally never have a talk about everything???? Like I get the world almost ended but neither of them had a thought like I know we need to talk about everything that happened on the boat. About if his love for Shahar trumps his love for me. But that can wait… Because those were all fears she had before but now vanished???? I get not wanted to have verbal talk but a thought from Bryce would’ve been nice.

• How can you run, carry a sword, and shoot a gun all at the same time? Still trying to figure out the logistics of that all....

• Why is SJM's adult book the least smutty thing she has written so far!?!?!?!?

• The love saves everyone and everything line is so fucking cheesy I can’t.

My Overall Feelings:

• The book couldn’t choose a plot. Did it want to be a crime book? Did it want to be ACOMAF? Who the fuck knows.

• This would have worked better as a TV series than a book. Especially that scene where Bryce is trying to save the city and everyone is just watching it happen on the jumbo screen at the summit. In book form it was just….weird….and felt disruptive...and someone could've started flying to help out. Plus I like watching shows with characters like Bryce but hate reading books with characters like her if that makes sense...

• Also if the summit is just between the leaders of CC then why did Sadriel have to be there? Why does it happen only every 10 years? Why does it have to take place outside of the city if no other leaders from other places are present?

• Why don’t we get a map of all of the other countries that were mentioned?

• This book was wayyyyyy too long. It would have been much better if it was reduced to 500ish pages instead.

• Also the character’s flip-flopped with their character development way too much. It wasn’t consistent.

• This is definitely one of the better SJM book’s I’ve read, but it won’t be one that I’ll reread. It is too long with too many boring bits in the middle.

• But hey! If you love SJM then you’ll probably love this book…

Content Warnings and Trigger Warnings: restricted eating, self-harm, drug use, alcohol consumption, implied rape, mentions of abusive relationships, suicidal thoughts, depression, emesis, slavery, terrorist attacks, grief, gun violence, death, murder, violence, torture

View all my reviews

#this review is so long it ran out of space on goodreads lol #book review #house of blood and earth spoilers #crescent city spoilers #crescent city #house of blood and earth #booksneedcaffeinetooblog

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chaeryybomb · 5 years ago

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FEBRUARY GG COMEBACK REVIEW

because there were so many girl group comebacks, I’m gonna do a review about them!

possibly might do this every month idk

I’ll review them on title song, album songs ( if they had an album comeback ), stage presence, outfits, music video, choreography and overall. ( I’m not gonna rate them by numbers )

GFRIEND: 回: LABYRINTH

TITLE SONG: Crossroads

personally, it took me a few listens before finally liking it. but it didn’t take that long before it hooked me on. it reminds me a lot of an anime opening. my favorite part is when the music stops and yuju sings the chorus, when i first heard that on their comeback stage, it gave me chills

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video was!! amazing!! i love how it gave a movie type of feeling. i’m still new to gfriend so... but overall, the music video is really nice and it made me feel things

CHOREOGRAPHY

gfriend is also known for their choreography, and they never disappoint. i really like the choreography and how it would sometimes split to a few members on the stage then all members.

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

i really really like the presence umji gave out during this era, something about her kept drawing my attention towards her every time I watched their stage.

i also really like their outfits this era, it’s so classy. i personally like yuju in long pants/pantsuits type of outfits. also, yerin’s highlights + beret is to die for.

ALBUM SONGS

the b-sides could all be title track worthy tbh. they’re vocals are all amazing.

my personal favorites are dreamcatche, from me and labyrinth

on a side note, I really like labyrinth’s choreography

OVERALL

overall, this comeback made me stan gfriend lmao, I really like their style of music. they also have a storyline which I’m trying to keep up?? what caught my eye during this comeback was definitely umji and eunha’s pink hair + high note in labyrinth.

EVERGLOW: Reminisce

TITLE SONG: DUN DUN

yiren’s “you’re so dun dun dun dun dun” part got me hooked immediately lmao, it’s just really catchy

i love love love love aisha and e:u raps, like yes rappers come through. aisha’s deep voice can k i l l

sihyeon’s beginning was definitely catchy. and I love the bridge part between her and onda

my only complain is that I wished onda could’ve gotten more lines ;-;

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video was really aesthetically pleasing, my favorite part was aisha’s part like damn girl. though I didn’t really like that face gem thing they had on yiren-

CHOREOGRAPHY

the choreography?? is just?? amazing?? i really like mia’s part of the choreography, the dance break and verses are 👌🏻

i also like the part where sihyeon sings after the dun dun, if that makes sense..

oh and I like the second chorus dance

and center onda is powerful

also I like the beginning where yiren would stomps her feet and says “everglow”

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

mia’s stage presence never disappoints, as usual. her face expressions are usually on point. but this era drew me towards e:u as well, her stage presence this era was definitely something

i love love love the black outfits ( the same ones they had in the beginning of the mv )

i also love how they gave onda outfits that stood out more, like for example the white outfits, onda was all in silver; or the red outfits where everyone wore red and black while onda was in a more different pattern

i didn’t mind that they re-used the outfits but in different colour, I thought it was way better than adios era where everyone wore the same outfits, at least this era the designs for everyone were different

ALBUM SONGS

my personal favorite is definitely “no lie”, I just wished they would promote it more than “salute”. but I felt blessed that they actually performed “no lie”, and the choreography was amazing.

yet onda and yiren really suited the “salute” concept

i personally think that the line distribution is lazy, for example “no lie” and “player”, mia is singing the chorus over and over again. it’s like the producer made her record the chorus part then just used it for the entire song and not ask a different member to record the 2nd chorus.

OVERALL

overall, I really like this comeback. my only complain is that I wish the line distribution was fairer. it’s unfair to all members, including mia. I hope that she isn’t feeling overworked because of having to sing so many lines while doing the dance break as well.

LOONA: #

TITLE SONG: So What

I really like this concept on LOONA!!! i know it might seem like what other groups are doing, but this type of concept really suits them

rapper heejin!!

chuu and jinsoul’s high note tho. but I could tell during the stages where chuu was struggling to hit the high note, I hope she’s not to hard on herself

my favorite part of the song is hyunjin’s tic tac toe part, yves’s shock shock and choerry’s part in the bridge

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video is just

UGH

aMAZING

I love vivi’s part with the spray can and kim lip’s part with the red outfit

the part in the subway too!!

CHOREOGRAPHY

when I first saw the choreography, I was s h o o k. seriously, they were all in sync, it’s amazing! I literally have no words on how to explain how much I love the choreography

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

let me just tell you, yves’s stage presence this era, can literally kill someone. literally. she slayed this era with that slick back hairstyle and piercing eyes.

literally loona’s stylist deserves a goddamn R A I S E.

almost every stage was a different outfit, for 12 members!! I can’t pick a favorite outfit because all of them were amazing!!

ALBUM SONGS

for the first time, I actually like the title song so much than the other album songs

but that doesn’t mean they’re great. but if I had to choose a b-side, it’ll probably be “ding ding dong”

OVERALL

overall, this comeback was definitely not disappointing and surprising. it was also definitely first win worthy. my only complain is, you guessed it, vivi’s lines. she had a total of 3 seconds! come on BBC! also, I hope that haseul is doing fine.

IZ*ONE: Bloom*IZ

TITLE SONG: FIESTA

gAH I MISSED THEM SO MUCH!!

I never liked the produce series because they gave so many kids false hope, but they groups they debuted were indeed talented and they don’t deserve all the backlash because mnet’s a snake.

but yes fiesta slaps. i’m so happy that sakura and minju are getting the lines they deserved. I really like eunbi part at the end and yuri’s bridge.

MUSIC VIDEO

the music video was definitely aesthetically pleasing to watch, especially eunbi’s angel scenes and chaeyeon’s solo scenes.

CHOREOGRAPHY

okay personally, i felt that the choreography was a bit plain for a 12 member group. i felt that “la vi en rose” and “violeta” had more diverse choreography than fiesta

but other than that, the choreography is nice and I like wonyoung’s part with the fingers and yena and eunbi’s pre-chorus parts

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

i hope the girls can perform on other stage platforms ;-;

chaewon has got my eye this era, maybe it’s because of her short hair but her presence is definitely there on stage

eunbi and chaeyeon’s stage presence never disappoints as usual

as for the outfits, I love how bright and colourful the outfits are, my personal favorite the pastel suits one

ALBUM SONGS

it’s my first time listening to an iz*one album. when I first listened to the album highlight medley, i thought i wouldn’t like it but boy was i wrong

first of all, i love how they all had sub-units so everyone had their chance to shine in the album

my personal favorites are “ayayaya”, “pink blusher” and “eyes”

OVERALL

overall, the comeback was great. i just wished that hyewon would’ve gotten more lines but I can definitely tell that all of them has improved tremendously. i hope that backlash won’t affect the girls and i hope that eunbi will get well soon.

DREAMCATCHER: Dystopia: The Tree Of Language

TITLE SONG: Scream

*inhales* I LOVE DREAMCATCHER

I immediately liked the song the moment I heard it. It reminded me of Stray Kids’s “Side Effects” due to to the heavy edm drop. I really like this type of style on them.

I love gahyeon’s and dami’s “devil, eyes, come” part and rap parts

MUSIC VIDEO

dreamcatcher’s music videos are always different, they always have an element of halloween in them and I love it

this era gives me a spooky witch vibe ( especially with “red sun” )

dreamcatcher’s music is definitely a breath of fresh air

CHOREOGRAPHY

I love love love love the “devil, eyes, come” part with the hand thingy

when they do this 🤘🏻

i really like it

I also like jiu’s parts and sua being the center will literally be the death of me

OH OH OH and gahyeon’s rap part with the masks!!

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

first of all, sua and yoohyeon’s stage presence is literally incredible

sua has definitely caught my eye during this era.

as for the outfits, dreamcatcher basically re-uses the outfits in different colours but I frankly don’t mind it so

i like their outfits when they perform “red sun”, it gives out spooky witchy vibes and I’m here for that

ALBUM SONGS

again, all of dreamcatcher’s songs can literally be a title track. i can’t choose a favorite

they’re all amazing and like I said, a breath of fresh air from other groups.

seriously, they’re really underrated

OVERALL

overall, i really like this comeback. and I love how they have a masked dancer in the place of handong ( who is currently filming for idol producer in China, I hope she’s doing fine with China’s current status ). I find the gesture really sweet. I also love siyeon’s solo, “paradise”. I hope she can perform it one day.

WEKI MEKI: DAZZLE DAZZLE

TITLE SONG: DAZZLE DAZZLE

the song is definitely catchy, especially the “dazzle dazzle dazzle me” part

i really like elly and suyeon’s part in the chorus

my favorite part is lua’s rap

MUSIC VIDEO

i think the music video was nice, i felt that smiley face cake was out of place

i wished that they kept the sparkly concept throughout the entire music video

CHOREOGRAPHY

the “dazzle dazzle me” part is honestly really fun to do lmao

i like the choreography for the chorus part

oh and yoojung and doyeon’s part tho-

STAGE PRESENCE / STAGE OUTFITS

elly has definitely owned this era

literally, she owns this era

and her bright blue hair help plays a part in it too

despite of having less lines, lua’s also radiates good stage presence

as for the outfits, i love the pastel colours that they’re going for

I really like elly’s blue hair, sei’s pink highlights, lucy’s blonde hair and rina’s short purple hair

OVERALL

overall, this comeback is really catchy, like it’s so easy for it to get stuck in your head. elly definitely slays this comeback, she’s literally shining. yoojung’s and lua’s rap parts are also a score. i just wished lua would’ve gotten a bit more lines.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

ROCKET PUNCH

I personally don’t really like “Bouncy” but the rest of their songs in their album is catchy. My favorite of the album is “Fireworks” and “Girl Friend”.

THE BOYZ

i literally stanned them during this era. like goddamn, sunwoo is wrecking me. i love sunwoo and eric’s rap parts. new’s vocals are out of this world, the boy is also tiny asf. also hyunjae’s blond hair?? juyeon has also caught my eye during this era.

BTS

okay ngl, i didn’t really like “black swan”, it’s not my cup of tea. “on” is definitely something. the part where they do the window wiping thing is weirdly satisfying to watch ( also someone pls edit jin’s window wiping laugh on it ). jungkook’s high note tho. also Jimin’s “oh na na” is really catchy. out from the album, my favorite is “we are bulletproof: the eternal” like damn, that made me sad.

ELRIS

so I don’t stan them but “jackpot” literally slaps. their rap line is literally so powerful?? especially the short hair girl ( Karin?? ) she raps and sings, damn that’s a double threat right there. the chorus really gets me ngl.

#february comebacks review #comebacks review #gfriend #everglow #loona #izone #iz*one #dreamcatcher #weki meki #bts #the boyz #rocket punch #elris #kpop #kpop review #:meg reviews

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partyinthemysterymachine · 5 years ago

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🌻🌻🌻🌻 🚜 it's like a little garden!

hello lil garden <3 im gonna pick all the floweurs :3

there are like two dreams i remember pretty vividly: one, i had stigmata. (fun fact: i’m a jew) i woke up and i could feel the pain in my palms and feet. i was like. maybe in fifth or sixth grade. everything happens when i’m 13 or 14 because i have exactly zero memory and Bad Brain Disorder Origin Years just makes everything a sad mockery of mashed potatoes

the second dream i remember vividly was essentially that i discovered a door to Wonderland (and listen here u lil shits: i’m not a big Wonderland person, not even a Mad Hatter kinda gal despite whatever my past has said about me, and also my Jervis Tetch is super valid and prob one of the best out there you’re welcome) in this honestly gorgeous old mansion. the kind that’s just. tons of dark wood, narrow halls, winding and yet there’s a lot of natural light, like gorgeous. and i found a door to Wonderland and holy fucking shit

what i would give to actually find a door to that Wonderland, bye y’all peace it’s been a gas but i gotta run

so after i left i wanted to go back, and i had a rough time finding the portal and ok long story short it turned out i had to go deal with a unicorn cult (it was more intense than that but hey, cults amirite) in order to get the reagents to go back to Wonderland and i suddenly found myself falling in a huge cave and the spirit healer from WoW was there so that says a lot about where i was in my life at the time

still tryna go back to Wonderland

i made this guy in Sims4 and he’s really fuckin cute and i named him Lane Morgans. i’m gonna put his tag on this post so maybe you’ll go take a look at him and see how amazing he is but i’m just gonna jerk myself off here too

(also sidenote, Salutations (my farmer in sdv, also top notch) is his uncle and when i wrote up his first char sheet i fucked up his last name bc his last name can’t be Morgans, but i’ll give him another one Soon(tm) (no i won’t))

Lane is a retired rollercoaster engineer who is now writing romance novels. he’s doing absolutely amazingly and his twitter a mess in a good way. he wishes he was Chuck Tingle’s bff. his novels aren’t modeled after Tingle’s (hehe), he writes very well rounded, interesting, and diverse romance that doesn’t take itself seriously. because i do what i want, he’s pretty well known and on several bestsellers.

he’s like in his 40s by now i think and he’s a late transitioner. he’s a divorcee (he and his ex wife are really good friends it’s all good) and he had his son Ellis awhile back (who is just a whole dutch cookie tin of crayons and then some). at a singles mixer he met a gardener who would be his future husband and everything is amazing now

also side braids and ponytails run in the family i guess

(actually Salutations has been side ponytail like all his life and Lane was enchanted by it so he side braids. Salutations is very proud)

i still think about it honestly i was really into keeping up to date with junk food news and food product for a while there but the popular sites were starting to piss me off with their rating systems and reviews like holy entitlement and superiority complex, batman! so i dropped out of it, like the only one that is still super valid is onsecondscoop.com tho it’s been a real hot minute since

i have a lot of my parents’ vinyls and that includes The Beatles white album with some water damage bc i guess my dad knocked something over at some point but also the good stuff like Fleetwood Mac, Linda Ronstadt, America, Seals and Crofts, a lot of musicals, James Taylor, Gordon Lightfoot, Cat Stevens (now Yusuf), Earth, Wind, and Fire, Marvin Gaye and more!!! (and i left a whole shitload in chicago too) and it’s very telling about my musical tastes.

i had ordered Arctic Monkeys’s AM album and it skipped on No. 1 Party Anthem and some other song and so i was like :\ and ordered another and you’ll never guess,

a few songs stand out to me:

Gordon Lightfoot’s Approaching Lavender

Seals and Crofts’s Hummingbird

Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs

James Taylor’s Never Die Young, Line ‘Em Up, Shower The People

(the Fleetwood Mac and James Taylor songs are specifically the ones i was introduced to with, as in the Live versions of Silver Springs and Shower The People)

for those who don’t know i’m also a huge Enya fan (LOTR was good to me) and Dark Sky Island was sick af btw, and also Donna Lewis’s entire Now In A Minute album is pretty fuckin close to my soul

however probably my favorite song, most sacred to me, hard to explain it but just the. whew the memories attached is I Love You Always Forever

furthermore a song that still really creeps me out (that also has an origin story attached to it) is 98 Degrees a cappella cover of She’s Out Of My Life (yep! still no thanks)

i grew up around a cappella since my mom is like a lifetime member of the Sweet Adelines womens a cappella organization or w/e so yeah and i’m not ognna link this on bc it’s a bitch to find just by itself, but Lida Rose from The Music Man is also a fist clench...

now on a more depressing note but one i have mention, Spice Girls’s Viva Forever is uuuhhh hhhhhhhhh hhhhhhnnnnmmmmmmmmmmm

anyway my dad used to travel overseas for work and when i was younger he went to Germany (and he’d go back there several times after) and he brought me back my first jar of Nutella. naturally i lost my entire shit, and imagine my surprise when Nutella got really big in America lmao he’d brought that jar home like. uh. 7, 9 years prior?? idk guys, ages and math, but it was funny to me

best fucking gingerbread recipe is by Nigella Lawson and i found it in her book How To Be A Domestic Goddess and it’s right fucking here ur welcome

i’m definitely one of those people who picks a book with a cool cover, reads a couple pages and then decides if i’m taking it or not and that’s how i found like so many good books

ask me about The Passage series and how i am both in love with it and kinda mad (also lmao @ the failed TV show y’all fuckin dumb as hell)

#ches writes #oops this got hella long #does a little jig #ok i think it's about bedtime #i love u <3 #adreamingofguns

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imagines-dreams · 5 years ago

Text

First Meeting(s) - Tom Holland Imagine

Rating: G

Warnings: meet-cute, budding feelings

Summary: Stacy, an intern at Stark Industries, is told to give Peter Parker some pictures from his Germany “trip.” / You are auditioning for the role of Stacy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. During your last callback, you have to do a chemistry read with Tom Holland.

Word Count: 1774

Notes: So this might be a series??? Idk, I had an idea, I ran with it. Sorry if it’s a mess, also I wrote this for a poc!reader, but I’m not sure if I mentioned anything specific

~ - ~

You smiled. “Hi, I’m looking for Peter Parker. I was told he’d be here for Academic Decathlon practice.”

The young man nodded. “Yes, he’s right over there.”

“He might quit though!” One of the girls shouted. “You never know.”

“He did quit band,” another one added. When everyone looked at her with knowing eyes, she only raised an eyebrow. “I’m observant.”

You tilted your head. “What can you observe about me then?”

She tilted her head and looked you up and down. “Type A, private school, intern.”

“You can call me Stacy.”

“Michelle.”

“Anyway, Peter?”

“That’s, uh, me. I’m Peter.” He looked shorter in pictures. His layers of clothing hid the superhero muscle you knew was underneath. His backpack was on the floor, and if anyone stared closely enough, it wasn’t a standard backpack. It wasn’t the patches or the pins that made it special. No, it was the plastered web fluid on the corner, perhaps from a misfire or leftover from when he webs it to walls.

You cleared your throat and as you walked to Peter you purposely brushed your foot against the misplaced webs to smear it, turning it effectively into a smudge or stain.

You handed Peter the folder. “Ms. Potts told me to give this to you.”

“Ms. Potts?” Peter took the folder and smiled at it. “What is it? Why-”

“Pictures,” you said. “From the last intern conference.”

He blinked a few times, and for a split second, you could see Peter’s face contort in confusion. There was no such thing as a Stark intern conference. With one look at you and your tale-telling expression, he nodded. “Yeah, yeah the, uh, conference, that I was at. With you, of course. Cause you’re also an intern.”

“Yes, in the research department,” you helped.

“Yeah!” He laughed. “And I met you at the conference...”

You laughed. “Stacy.”

“Right, Stacy. I remember that.”

You laughed. “You know, for a Stark mentee, you have pretty bad memory.”

“I’m just trying my best.” Peter shrugged.

“Hey, it’s all good. We all are.” You leaned in close to whisper. “You might wanna not leave webs on your backpack, though.”

Peter’s eyes widened. He leaned down and whispered back, “You, uh, saw webs on my backpack? That’s, I mean, that’s insane.”

“Mhm.” You tilted your head. “Mr. Stark told me about what you do for your internship.” Peter Parker held his breath, but you just smiled. “Helping out at the Avengers Compound must be exciting.”

“You know, you don’t have to help Parker,” another boy said, a smug smirk on his face. “We know his Stark internship is boring as hell. Not to mention, he’d probably never meet any of the Avengers.”

“Hm.” You hummed and held out your hand. Peter put the envelope in your hands. “Do you mind, Peter?”

“Not really. What are you-”

You opened the envelope and grabbed the first picture. A printed picture of Peter with Black Widow. She was staring at the camera, clearly amused by Peter’s attempt to get a selfie with her. As you suspected, Peter wasn’t in the suit. It was after whatever happened in Berlin. So, his eye was forming a bruise, if you looked very closely, but he had this infectious smile, so it was easy to overlook.

Almost. You couldn’t believe that the kid you just met, that stuttering, clumsy kid, was Spider-Man. How could a fifteen-year-old do all this? Sure, you had a similar-ish schedule. But your internship was in the research department. You reviewed simple calculations and offered an idea or two. Sometimes, you got to see Ms. Potts walk through the hallways. She said hi to you once.

You squealed when she left.

Those were your exciting moments.

Peter’s exciting moments was fighting other superheroes and chasing bad guys and swinging through New York.

You glanced at Peter. That kid with a nervous smile was really something.

“Black Widow?!” screeched the kid with that smug look on his face. Well, he had a smug look on his face. It dropped when he saw that Peter really had met the Avengers. He reached out for the envelope, but you pulled them away and handed them back to Peter. “Sorry, here you go.”

He laughed. “That was amazing.”

“It was nothing.” You glanced at that annoying kid, and you couldn’t help but giggle that escaped your lips. “Plus, that was really satisfying, not gonna lie.”

“Still,” Peter insisted, “I could never do that.”

You scoffed. “Please! I know you do braver things.”

He laughed and looked around, as if trying to hide the fact that his cheeks were turning a slight pink. “I, uh, I mean… not with that.” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

You nudged him. “Hey, don’t worry about it. But, if you ever wanna talk, they call me Stacy. And I intern in the labs at Stark Tower. My boss is really nice and lets me take breaks when I need it, or if a friend visits.”

Peter nodded. “I might swing by.”

Your jaw dropped. “Did you just-” You hit him again. “I hate you. I rescind my offer.” You picked up your things.

Peter laughed. “Hey, what? That was uncalled for! Stace!”

You laughed. “See ya, Peter.” You saluted him with two fingers and left for your internship. Couldn’t leave precious biotech sims and cell cultures by themselves after all.

~ - ~

Tom was stunned for a moment. You were good. You held this confident air around you when you played Gwen. Sure, other girls have too, but you did it with such grace. At that moment, he could see the entire franchise’s span with him and you on the posters. Sure, you didn’t look like the Gwen Stacy from the comics, but you were her in every sense. Sharp, clever, graceful, kind.

Your eyes met his. When Tom didn’t say anything, you looked through the script. “Sorry, is it my line?”

“No!” He cleared his throat. “Uh, you did a great job.”

You sighed. “Oh, good.” You laughed. “Thank you. You did a great job, too.”

“Alright, thank you, (Y/n). If you got the part, you should get a call from us within the next two weeks.”

You nodded. “Thank you so much for the opportunity.” You shook hands with Sarah Finn and Jon Watts. Then, you smiled at Tom and held out you hand. “And it was nice meeting you, Tom.”

“Yeah, yeah, you too.” He shook your hand. “Hopefully, we can see each other soon.”

“Definitely.”

Just as you approached your car, the man you played opposite of ran outside of the building and called your name.

You rubbed your tired eyes and smiled. “Yes?”

“Sorry, uh,” Tom stuttered as he tried to catch his breath. You assumed it was from running, but in truth, the actor was just trying to compose himself long enough to talk to you without sounding like an incoherent mess. So, Tom shook his head and stood up straight. “Sorry, I just forgot to ask for your number.”

You blinked a few times. “Right. Of course, you need my number.” He did not need your number, but you were too tired, and perhaps you were supposed to swap numbers. It must’ve slipped your mind. He handed his phone to you, and you typed in your number.

“Uh, thanks. So sorry about that,” Tom apologized again.

You shrugged. “No problem. It’s nice meeting you.” You laughed. “Again.”

“Yes. Lovely meeting you.” He smiled. “Well, I can’t keep you. Have a nice day.”

“You, too.”

It wasn’t until a few weeks later, much after the two-week deadline, did you realize that Tom was too fit to be out of breath from a very short run. So, that meant there was another reason why the actor wasn’t his calm self. He did gaze at you after the scene had finished. Was it possible…

No. It wasn’t. And even if it was, it didn’t matter. You weren’t going to see him again.

And even if you and he crossed paths again for another project or for an awards show, you were both actors. Cameras and gossip magazines took your privacy away. It’d be too complicated. So, no use in thinking about it.

Your phone rang. The area code was familiar. Maybe it was another open audition. You answered, “Hello, (Y/n) (Y/l/n) speaking,” and grabbed your planner just in case.

“Hi, it’s Tom.”

“Oh, hi!” You smiled widely at the sound of his voice. When you realized it, you pursed your lips. “Uh, what is it?”

“I just wanted to congratulate you!”

Congratulate you? On what?

The pen fell from your hands. He couldn’t mean. You hadn’t received a call from the casting director. Or your agent yet. “Congratulate me?” you gasped.

“Oh, uh, check your messages.”

“My what?”

“Check your texts. I sent you something.”

You opened his text to find a link. You clicked on it. It read, “The New Cast of Spider-Man: Homecoming - What We Know”. First, a paragraph on Tom Holland and his reprise of his role as Spider-Man. Then, Zendaya who was casted but no details on the person she plays. Jacob Batalon playing Ned, RDJ playing Tony Stark, Marisa Toomes as Aunt May, Jon Favreau as Happy Hogan, and then your name.

“New and upcoming actress, (Y/n) (Y/l/n) has been cast, but little is known about the character she will play. While Laura Harrier has been confirmed to be Liz Allen, the popular teenager Peter can’t stop thinking about, there is no indication of whether or not (Y/l/n) will be a major character in the film.”

“I got the part,” you whispered. You were cast. That meant that you were given the role you auditioned for. Oh god, you were going to be Stacy!

“I got the part!” you screamed.

“Yeah, you did!” Tom shouted. “Congratulations! You deserve it!”

“Oh my god!” You laughed and shouted, “I’m Gwen Stacy!”

Tom laughed. “Sh!” he teased. “Spoilers!”

You pressed your hand against your chest as if that could calm your racing heart. “Oh, god, I can’t believe this.”

“Really? Your audition was perfect.” He sighed. “I can’t wait to start working with you.”

Working with Tom Holland, the new Spider-Man. It was a dream come true. It didn’t matter how he looked at you when your scene was done or how handsome he was, you were going to part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with an amazing leading man and cast. No matter what happened, this was going to change your life.

With a dreamy smile, you admitted, “I can’t wait either.”

~ - ~

Am I posting this super late? Yes. Do I have any idea what to do from here? Kinda??? I mean, I don’t even know if this is a good idea, or something from my tea-infused, late-night brain, so very sorry if this sucks. I may or may not continue it. If you want me to write more (I have no clue why you would), please give me ideas??? maybe???

Anyway, thanks for reader, and have a wonderful day, readers!

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland oneshot #mcu #mcu fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker oneshot #marvel #marvel fanfiction

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rat-apologist · 6 years ago

Text

A Semi-In depth Review of Anna Todd’s After

So I’ve been seeing the trailer for the movie adaptation of this book every five seconds on my Instagram feed, and as a proud dyslexic unwilling to sit down and read it, I listened to the audiobook.

Again, these are all my opinions, if you don’t agree that’s okay.

Here is a quick, spoiler free plot synopsis for those who want/need it: Being moved from Wattpad into the real world of publishing, After follows a girl named Tessa, who simultaneously has the mentality of a five year old and an old man from the 1800’s. She is eighteen years old and is going to college to be an English major. Tessa loves control, planning, and books. She's an introvert at heart, and “not like other girls” (i.e. dresses conservatively, is a virgin (the books words, not mine)). She has a shitty mom and a nice, preppy, boyfriend who is still in high school, and her life is completely planned out. That’s all turned upside down when the poster child for emotional abuse named Harden (harry styles) waltzes into her life during a frat party her first week of college. Your typical Wattpad/teen movie drama ensues.

(the actual review under the cut)

This review is chock full of spoilers for Anna Todd’s book After. If you want a good idea of what I thought about this book without any spoilers I’ll just say this: I can really honestly say I was never bored while listening to this book. However, that is not necessarily a good thing. Often times I was just too much in awe of the clunky writing and truly evil supposedly “redeemable” characters to be bored. On a one to five star scale, I’d probably give it a two. More on that later.

Here are the things I liked:

(this one is only applicable to the audiobook) the narrator was amazing, her voice acting was very appropriate (though she did tend to drop accents sometimes- but that is forgiven because of how otherwise amazing her line delivery was- especially considering the quality of the dialogue).

Landon and Dakota were my favorite characters, and even though they had no personalities beyond what they meant to Tess and how they interacted with Harden (Hardin? Again, I listened to the audiobook I’ve got no idea how to spell that lmao) they still made the book better to listen to.

Despite the repetition of plot/narrative structures I can happily say again that I was never really bored.

Okay moving on to more mixed-bag feelings:

So the last chapter was from Harden’s perspective, and I thought that was an interesting idea. Learning what one character thinks, especially since our protagonist is, how you say, a little bad at reading/interacting with other human people. However the execution left something to be desired for me. It quite literally was just the exact same scene we just saw from the previous chapter, but from Hardens perspective instead of Tess’s. Which was just ended up being unnecessarily repetitive at times.

I liked how Tessa tried to be less judgmental throughout the book, however her growth is very, very limited.

I liked the fact that they mentioned they used condoms in pretty much every sex scene, and that most of the time clear verbal consent/clear nonverbal consent was given for the sexual stuff. That does not happen often in books, especially in fan fiction from what I understand.

I like that Tess does stand up for herself, while I could sometimes see myself comparing her to Bella Swan considering how much of her personality does kind of revolve around her relationship with Harden, she certainly was more vocal about her feelings. And boy, did she have a lot of feelings.

Moving on to the things I didn’t like, this is probably going to be a mix on writing, characters, and plot points so bear with me. (I’m saving my many thoughts on the twist for last)

Okay so a big number one is the biggest plot driver, the love story. So, I feel like it goes without saying, but the main relationship is SUPER unhealthy. Harden constantly stalks, manipulates, and bullies Tess throughout the whole book. He is pretty much abusive, using her caring for him to his own advantage and then dropping her when it suits him. Plus his hyper-sexualization of her “virtue” is really really nasty. Tess pretty much cries in every interaction they have together, and even acknowledges how toxic their relationship is, and yet I’m supposed to root for them? Hmm… I don’t think so

The near constant slut shaming and girl hate in this book bothers me, especially when it’s mixed with the hints of “I’m not like other girls” from Tess

The character descriptions kinda weird me out considering how much Harden is described like Harry Styles, like literally a tumblr punk edit of Harry Styles

The dialogue is… bad. To all the writers out there (myself included) make sure you read your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural, that way if your Wattpad fanfiction ever does get published, and your book is adapted into audiobook, you’ll avoid a situation like this one. Because, especially listening to it, the dialogue in this book is really really bad. Honest to god it sounds like robots imitating humans are talking to each other, only they’re trying to convince the other robots that they are humans. For some reason Anna Todd avoided using contractions for most of the book, making the characters sound unnatural and completely out of their predefined characters. Why would these college students not use words like “it’s” “we’ll” and “we’re”? It is truly astonishing, and it makes the few uses of contractions really distracting. Normally I don’t give a shit about grammar since I don’t really understand grammar, and normally grammatical errors aren’t that obvious when listening on audio, but the dialogue was seriously that bad.

The pacing was bad, that’s kinda all I have to say. It was generally too quick during plot development but then took a screeching halt for each fight/sex scene (of which there are many)

The repetition of certain words/phrases really got annoying. Everyone's always screaming, biting on their lip, or smirking. Harden is rude, as Tessa mentioned about eight million times, and Tessa finds his dirty talk arousing. We know this, because Todd uses those phrases about a billion times a chapter.

The sex scenes kind of grossed me out. I’m (in general) fine with sex, but the way the sex scenes were written seriously ucked me out. These college kids avoid using words like “penis” “dick” “pussy” etc. and use really really juvenile words like “down there” and “length”. Maybe this is a fanfiction thing, and I’ll admit that I have not read essentially any fanfiction, but it is truly a disturbing way to write sex. Especially since Tessa is written to have the experience and understanding of sex as like a child, not even understand what an orgasm is and unwilling to say words like penis or vagina, something our loverboy Harden is super attracted to, by the by.

I hate that this book uses “girl almost gets assaulted so man can come in and valiantly protect her” trope. It is super gross and I hate it. That’s kind of all I can say, the use of women's pain so that men can get some amount of redemption is awful.

More on Harden: I am sick of the “violent, broken man that I promise I can fix!” trope. It is used to justify and excuse abuse and I hate it. Tess is honestly scared of him several times in the book and it’s played as a personality quirk of his? Like everyone just accepts that’s how he is? I know for the most part we aren’t supposed to “like” him for the first part of the book, but it’s obvious that the author wants us to root for him and Tessa in some capacity. Especially with the inclusion of his perspective at the end, which in a way is exactly the kind of manipulation that he is into so idk. Also he is possessive despite the fact that they weren’t dating, and he is very clear he does not date. That’s already abuse, but of course there is more. On top of that he is cruel, and pretty stuck-up throughout the book- making him pretty much insufferable to me. And all of this shit just gets worse once the twist is introduced, and no amount of his whining from his chapter could at all change that.

The rest of the characters are all either boring, or the worst people you could ever meet. Tess’s mom, Molly, Jace, all really terrible to offset the horror of Harden. To almost justify what he does- because comparatively he doesn’t seem as bad (up until the twist).

The twist. Dear god the twist. So, as it goes it isn’t an extremely inspired twist. I’ve seen it done before in a similar way (I’m looking at you, Ten Things I Hate About You). For those who are wondering: the big twist is that Harden only really pursued Tess in the beginning because after she revealed she is a virgin at a party early on in the book he makes a pricey bet with Zed (another side character only used to add ~drama~ to Tessa and Harden’s relationship) to see who can take her virginity. All of the subsequent bullying, possessiveness, manipulation, etc. were all a ploy to have sex with her before Zed could. I feel like it goes without saying that that’s disgusting, but let me tell you exactly why: at least if he was actually interested in her at first his weird behavior could possibly be passed off as hormones (I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand it more if you’d try to make that argument), but the fact that it was all for a bet not only makes his disgusting actions worse, but makes the fact that he supposedly falls in love with her so much more annoying. Plus, the fact that he literally tries to trap Tessa in a lease so she can’t leave him, and tries to bribe his friends into silence really shows how little he actually cares about Tessa and her thoughts and feelings.

So, why two stars? Honestly, because I was entertained (for lack of a better word) by this book. Maybe if I actually read it and not just listened to the audiobook it my rating would be lower, maybe if there was just one more sex scene to slow down the pace I would have been more bored. Who knows, but I was entertained. Sometimes by how terrible the dialogue is, by how astonishing the characters decisions were, sometimes by the actual plot. It’s like watching a shitty soap opera, it’s not good by any means, but it certainly keeps your attention.

#pj speaks #book review #after book #after book review

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