#no really like i fucking hate him

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S7 E4 Love and Marriage

Jughead and Ethel are in big doodoo. The principal has his own grim looking photo, unduly large, outside his office. The ego on this big ugly white man! Why is it so familiar? Hmmm.

The three hideous old people (well Sheriff Keller is handsome but that doesn’t make him any less hideous) are giving the Ethelhead the third degree, and Ethelhead are defending themselves the best they can:

The picture she drew of making mincemeat of her parents! → That was a joke!

The comic book issue with the murdering milkman! → She really did see one the night of the murder!

Why did Jughead hide all this stuff like a dirty secret? → Not answered because what he was trying to avoid is happening exactly right now!

Jughead sternly tells the agitated Ethel to stop answering questions until they talk to a lawyer. (Why oh Why can’t we have Ethelhead for real? They look really cute together. And his sweater’s red S matches her scarlet turtleneck ‘n’ scarf combo.

The way you know that Dupont (the now child psychiatrist, but my S4 loving self refuses to learn this new name they gave him) is a bad man is because he speaks in hoary cliches with such relish. “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Dude. Do better.

Ethelhead get hauled down to the station. On their way out of the school, Jughead is seen by Veronica, who is wearing her headband of pearls that makes her look like an angel. Jughead grimly tells her he’s being railroaded. Veronica in all universes is the right person to talk to when things are going wrong, so I’m hopeful things will work out for Jughead (though probably not Ethel, because Veronica doesn’t care about her so far this season).

Meanwhile, in the boy’s shower room, Jason confronts Archie. He wants to know how very dare Archie take advantage of Cheryl, going “all the way” with her. The general acceptance that everyone has even in this timeline of the Blossoms being weird people means Archie finds it perfectly normal to talk to Cheryl’s brother about sex while naked boys (well, American TV naked- two boys are showering in the back and one shirtless pantless one walks by in a towel) are all about.

Archie finds Cheryl and takes her to some room (not the music room, because the music room is for sexy times at Riverdale High) to confront her. He’s wearing very excellent white shoes. Cheryl is in the same shade of red all over like Ethel but I don’t suppose that means anything. Archie - for the benefit of the narrative but also because he’s a bit of a dim bulb is making sure that he didn’t just pass out and miss going all the way with Cheryl.

Can I just ask why Cheryl is so much better at faking straightness than Kevin? (This is in direct parallel with Kevin and Betty, of course.). It isn’t just a matter of Betty being smarter than Archie (she is) but also Cheryl knows how to be seductive with boys. The way she places her perfectly manicured hands on Archie’s chest is so perfectly calculated that he gets the heart shaped lighting happening in his irises.

Meanwhile, in fail gaydom with Failgay Kevin who I hate this season~ Betty and Kevin are outside where it is so cold Betty is sitting with gloves on and you can see their breath. Kevin does not want to have sex with Betty until they are married (or ever). Betty dumps him immediately.

Then she goes to go cry about it to the local closeted lesbian, who reacts with “Boys ruin everything.” At first Toni thinks that Betty is crying because Kevin tried to guilt trip her into allowing him to rape her, but Betty forthrightly tells her (through the most adorable scrunched up face of tears) that it was she who wanted to get laid. Toni continues to say the right thing - “More girls should do what you did!” Toni with all the right takes. She even calls Kevin by the right moniker - the ‘Supposed Boyfriend.’ Then she does what all gay girls do when consoling a hot girl upset about her ex boyfriend - ask her to be alone together in a dark room (THE DARK ROOM HAHAHA I see what you did there Riverdale), and maybe touch her leg a ilttle bit (which Toni also does).

Meanwhile - what a jam packed morning - meanwhile while Cheryl is seducing Archie and Toni is trying to seduce Betty after Betty dumped Kevin, Veronica is visiting Jughead in jail. The Stupid Hat Powers prevail so they are allowing him to still keep his crown.

Veronica, because she is wonderful, asks how Ethel is doing, to Jughead. But I don’t know how Jughead would know, since they are unlikely to be kept in the same cell. Jughead sounds very calm as he relays what he’s heard about procedure, but he’s got a double fisted death grip on the bars, poor thing. Jeronica have this two-brainiac-hipsters-vibing-off-each-other chemistry that I find completely enchanting. They literally speak in non stop references at each other which (TMI) is not at all fun to be next to but is DELIGHTFUL form of folie a deux. Anyway, Jughead in this universe is actually capable of advocating for himself instead of offering to die to solve things, and suggests that if he could get exonerated first, THEN he can help Ethel. Veronica is a woman always in search of a project, so she goes off to find the coroner of the town that Jughead naturally doesn’t know, in order to ascertain the time of death for Ethel’s parents.

Archie comes home to find that Mary Andrews, looking wonderful in royal blue with a strand of pearls, is disgusted and upset that her son has fucked Cheryl (allegedly). Archie is so uncomfortable about having to discuss sex with his mom that he crinkles his forehead exactly like Luke Perry used to in that show in the 90s. It’s not at all clear what upsets Mary most - having to receive a call from Penelope Blossom, having to talk about her son’s penis with Penelope Blossom, the thought of Archie having sex, the thought of Archie having sex with Cheryl, or having to talk about all of the above with Archie. I suspect it’s the choice of a BLOSSOM that upsets her the most, but she’s very funny to me. This actress’s slightly spaced-out line readings always bothered me, but she seems perfectly suited to this particular era. As she gloweringly passes Archie, he hunches down all cutely chastized. He has to put on a suit to go have dinner at the Blossoms!

And cut to dinner at the Blossoms! everyone is color coordinated in reds and blacks except for Mary who is wearing cream with a purple collarline. Clifford Blossom is dressed like Gomez Addams but he is nowhere near as fun. He is in fact a McCarthyite. To Archie’s terror (i love 50s Archie - he has such an endearing deer in headlights look), Clifford wants his thoughts on “the Russia problem.” Archie is looking around the room, and pieces together what he thinks the right answer might be like he’s trying to read hidden cue cards tucked into the corners. Russia! it’s a -. A Big! A Massive! Problem. [more pause] CLEARLY.

The way he gets told he’s a smart young man after sounding as dumb as a bag of broken bricks is how white male privilege works. Guys will literally say the most obvious, stupid thing and then older guys will promote them ahead of me and pay them special bonuses. The music director plays a ‘whimsical comedy’ type plinking over it but no, dear, this is how the world actually works. The way Archie goes from scared to smug in a nono second? Too real. Too too real.

The way Mary is just sat there ignored - nobody asks her what SHE thinks about anything - until Clifford summarily tells her they are going to have a talk later (not a question but an order) just is the icing on this shit cake.

Meanwhile, Cheryl and Archie go on a walk. In this universe, Cheryl never met Fred Andrews, which means “You’re looking especially DILFY today, Mr Andrews” or whatever the 50s equivalent is (You’re looking especially gitchy today?) never happened which means if this had been S1 of Riverdale I would never have been hooked! Archie says that his dad was his best friend (ah, but Archie were YOU the best friend to your father? I bet not!). They went to the movies together almost every weekend. Even before he left for the Korean War, apparently Fred’s fantasy was to go out west with Archie (and JUST Archie) and live as cowboys (with JUST Archie). Thinking about running away somewhere makes Cheryl feel romantic (???) towards Archie. It looks genuine, which is very disconcerting.

Toni is all smiles as she leads Betty down the steps to the Dark Room only to see that boys indeed actually do ruin everything - Kevin is there, slowdancing with Clay. I mean, this is exactly what Toni was hoping to do with Betty, I would think, but yes, Kevin does ruin everything. Toni tries to get out of there, but it’s too late and boy Kevin and Clay are physically too big for teeny tiny Toni to hide them effectively from view. Betty is confronted with the terrible evidence that her boyfriend of two years who made her feel so bad about her normal urges is in fact not into girls, and has been lying to her this whole time. She runs out.

Veronica to the rescue! It turns out the extremely incompetent Sheriff Keller, father of the very terrible Kevin Keller, never even checked the coroner’s report to ascertain the time of death. Jughead has an airtight alibi! Sheriff Keller doesn’t want to acknowledge he was wrong, so he still natters on about how this doesn’t account for Ethel. Veronica tells him to hop to it to release Jughead.

Jeronica immediately go to Pop’s, where Jughead gets a chocolate milkshake and a huge burger. In between bites, Jughead drops this bomb: Ethel told him that while her parents were being murdered, Ethel had been doing the “car seat chacha” with Julian Blossom.

Oh but that does make sense, actually. The Blossoms can only fuck redheads!

Ethel was down for some casual necking, but when Julian tried to get “handsy” (which is such a confusing euphemism since it can mean anything from groping a tit to shoving a finger up a butt) she walloped him. Ethel is all my tall strong girl fantasies because the force by which she slaps Julian almost twists his head off its stem. Julian, possibly now nursing a black eye, threatened to make a laughingstock of Ethel by spreading a rumor about her “nymphomania.” This is what Kevin called Betty once already - Kevin is the worst. Julian is terrible, but Kevin is just as bad!

Jughead is still such a wonderful friend to Ethel. The Feminine Mystique was not published until 1963 but Jughead fully understands how gender oppression and politics works, which I think all men do, and is ACTUALLY willing to acknowedge it, which most men still aren’t. He makes it his mission to make Julian do the honorable thing. ��God help us.” Yup.

Betty comes sadly home to her mother, who has received a phone call from Kevin’s mother, who we have hardly ever seen. Kevin’s mom has been insisting that her boy is devastated! So upset! Betty tells her that she now knows her ex so called boyfriend was gay THIS WHOLE TIME. Alice Cooper acts like this is totally normal, calmly inviting Betty to take a seat. They play horror music over Alice telling Betty the most insane bullshit - that she owes it to Kevin (Betty owes Kevin??) to see him through a “sexual identity crisis.” Alice Cooper always finds the worst possible way to react, doesn’t she? And she somehow thinks that it’s fine to marry someone who is not only not attracted to your whole sex but also lied about it for two years to your face on a daily basis. Is this saying something about Hal? (Is that why he’s a serial killer?)

Jughead comes home to find that his little trailer is trashed. Again! By Keller! And even his dog is missing!! Poor Jughead.

Back at the Andrews, Mary is dishing the dirt about Clifford. He sold maple syrup to the Army at a premium during the Korean War (I really want them to stop talking about the Korean War on this my escapism show), plus he’s a hypocrite and draft dodger. Then she says a really terrifying thing - that she’s linked together with the Blossoms for “the rest of her ilfe” because (she thinks) Cheryl and Archie fucked once. They have decided the two need to get married - after the compatibility test. Archie makes a sound in his throat like he wants to vomit. “Think of Cheryl’s honor!!’

The thing is, who is threatening Cheryl’s honor? I mean, does anyone even know about this? Who else would spread this around if not Penelope??

Is Cheryl pretending to pregnancy as well??

The next day, Midge and Fangs are pregnant (She’s “never late” and now she is.) Fangs says he loves her, and they are going to figure it out. Fangs is being honorable.

Inside the hallway of the school, however, Jughead and Veronica approach Julian, who is anything but honorable. He refuses to alibi Ethel, because she’s “inappropriate” for a Blossom to schtupp. He calls Ethel “cheap thrills.” For this, Jughead Jones squares up with both fists to punch Julian right in the face, knocking him to the ground.

HOORAY.

Violence plus public shaming - Jughead shouts at him about being entitled and taking advantage of “my friend Ethel!” - actually works on Julian, who gives a statement that finally renders Ethel from ‘active suspect’ status. Sheriff Keller uses police words but I have not forgotten that he didn’t even look up time of death on the coroner’s report. Jeronica SUCCEEDED!

Plus, once again, what a wonderful friend Jughead Jones is.

According to the creepy Dupont/ Wertheim? Werthers? there are only three things that need to be checked for marital compatibility:

1. Similarity of background

2. Close friendship

3. Understanding the concept of marriage

They definitely don’t have 1) and in answer to the close friendship question Cheryl just laughs, because she is friends with nobody and Archie says he gets along with everyone (which kind of is the same thing). Then Dupont says that Archie is going to be burdened with fidelity, “which goes against our nature as men” but then apparently the way to make a cheater not cheat is to use a combination of saying only nice things, listening and making him food. Cheryl is wearing a very funereal black scarf around her neck, which looks like a noose.

Werther calls Penelope to tell her the children are compatible. Mary is there with her, looking like she wants to vomit. Penelope lays it out for her - Archie is the only other redhead child in town, so that makes them perfect.

At the Dark Room, Fangs makes his inability to practice proper birth control Toni’s problem. She says she’s going to do something at the lab, so he’s to bring Midge.

Betty comes to find Kevin in the music room. When she says she saw him and Clay, Kevin’s first act is to be misogynist, snorting with contemptuous dismissal. I hate Kevin so much. This reminds me of American OG feminist tracts about the hideous misogyny and sexism of homosexual men before lesbians turned out in force for AIDS sufferers - they were the worst kinds of men, apparently, and Kevin is one of them! He’s still lying to her, by the way. Because what must’ve happened was Kevin went to the locker room to look at naked boys to soothe his ego being bruised about Betty refusing to be his unacknowledged beard anymore, then ran into Clay there and sucked his dick. WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID KEVIN.

Kevin says that if he had known what he was, he wouldn’t have wasted Betty’s time.

This is scene almost took me out of Riverdale fandom wholesale by the way.

The way they play tender music over this.

The way Betty has to further lower herself to say she “doesn’t understand most of this” when she actually does, perfectly.

The way that KEVIN - FUCKING MISOGYNIST KEVIN, CONDESCENDING LYING PIECE OF SHIT KEVIN - is told by Betty that he DIDN’T WASTE HER TIME “at least not to me.”

I WANT KEVIN TO DIE

I HATE THIS SHOW FOR PRIVILEGING KEVIN THIS WAY.

KEVIN DOES NOT DESERVE IT.

CLAY DESERVES BETTER.

BETTY SHOULD KILL KEVIN.

I am so mad.

Because the net effect of this is to make Kevin’s homosexuality (rather than his being a dishonest, condescending piece of shit MAN) the problem, for which Betty must subsume herself.

The narrative appears to validate Kevin’s sexuality but actually what this does is reinforced homophobia. I hate this. I hate Kevin. I hate Riverdale for doing this.

[Taking a break to calm the fuck down]

Ok I’m back.

So at the diner, Cheryl and Archie are trying to make the best of a bad situation. The way Cheryl is so sad but takes the time to be tender and kind to Archie (who is her beard and being forced to marry her under false pretenses) is - oh no putting me right back into my Hating Kevin feelings! Because Cheryl’s been so nice that Archie is actually kind of excited about the idea of being married to her. See, Kevin, if you’re going to trick some person into being your beard, you could be at minimum NICE TO THEM.

The sad, bruised tenderness of Cheryl in this universe is actually what I think Cheryl is really like underneath her HBIC persona, and she hurts me in the best way to consider.

At the other table, Jeronica are celebrating springing Ethel from jail and injustice. (Hey!! Jughead is being this much of a good friend to Ethel because he’s trying to follow the Bend Towards Justice edict laid down by Tabitha!) This Jeronica friendship is basically functions as in-canon fix-it fanfic. Without the pressure to live up to being ‘good enough’ for Betty Cooper, Jughead feels safe just telling someone what’s happened to his home. And Veronica, without having to struggle against Archie’s pride (which he only exercises against her, and not against he Blossoms) can seek the company she craves in her lonesome huge apartment AND engage in the generosity that is her trademark. In short, Veronica invites Jughead to stay with her.

At the high school, Toni is going to use a very interesting pregnancy test - inject a frog with pee to see if the frog lays eggs. Midge is pregnant! For some reason Toni suggest that Fangs get Midge’s parents for her hand but NOT tell them she’s pregnant. Given how the Blossoms are reacting to Cheryl allegedly having had sex with Archie, this seems ill judged.

Jughead has made a huge breakfast spread for Veronica at the Pembroke! Jughead as Little Orphan Annie and Veronica as Daddy Warbucks! This works for me! Jughead is going to go get Hot Dog from the pound, so Veronica offers to ‘spruce up’ his home. They are both going to skip school. The old married couple vibe of this is just so fun.

At school, Archie has finally told Betty that he and Cheryl have never had sex, but will still get married. Archie, poor lamb, thinks that ‘savig Cheryl’ will give him some purpose in life. Betty finds this very sweet, but tells him he shouldn’t go through with it, because she’s learned from experience that love doesn’t just ‘grow.’ Dupont/Werther’s theory about human love is really weird - you start gaining the capacity for sexual love at 17 (?) and then it peaks at 21 (??) after which there is a precipitous drop off I guess?

Cheryl, because she is feeling a bit better about marrying Archie, wears a black-and-white polka dot scarf instead of black noose one. She says Clifford wants to talk to Archie. She intuitively knows that Betty is about to get in her way, so gives her a chilly greeting.

At the meeting with Clifford, we get a hint of why it is Cheryl was willing to go through with this. She had (wrongly) thought that being married to the one acceptable redhead boy in town meant that she would be a) free from Thornhill b) free from her parents and c) be in a family with someone who is kind and decent. Archie is seeking sex with a beautiful woman and purpose in life. Cheryl is seeking a secure living arrangement with a not-monster and a place to hide from her homosexuality.

This could’ve actually worked until it suddenly wouldn’t have.

But of course, Clifford Blossom makes it clear that none of this can come to be. Neither will be sent to college. They will both live at Thornhill. Archie is to spend his life working for his future father in law, always second best to Julian probably, and never get to go to California like he dreamed about with his dad.

The hard cold reality of marriage - WHERE will you live and HOW will you pay for it- being the major wake up call to the betrothed is so real.

Sigh and now we’re back to Fangs, who tells Toni that it didn’t go well when he tried to ask for Midge’s hand in marriage. Toni, even though this was her idea, reads his inappropriateness as a potential mate for Midge in the cruelest way: “you’re a greaser wannabe-rock star.” She hatches a dingbat plan to make Fangs a rockstar in 4 months (when Midge will show).

Is - Is Riverdale playing coy about abortion with this? What is the fear here, that Midge’s parents will use their rich whiteness to force Midge to get an abortion? But since Midge was scared, not elated, to fall pregnant, and Fangs treated it as an emergency rather than good news, abortion is the answer. Tell her parents, get the abortion, and you can keep ‘loving’ each other.

Is Toni Topaz anti choice????

She mentions Romeo & Juliet which we then cut to the extraordinary “Orient Express” style sprucing up of the train car a la Jughead. Jughead is overwhelmed, but I want them to kiss. KISS HER, Jughead. GIVE ME MORE JERONICA. Jugead looks overwhelmed by his surroundings. They play pretty music, but they need to kiSSSSS.

We cut to Betty being confronted by her mother about the sex book. Betty looks amazing in those wide fabric belts. She had a wide green belt for her insane initial talk about Kevin with Alice, and now she’s in a pink one cinched over a flowery dress. Betty stands up for herself, telling Alice that she’s backwards, that she is going to continue to educate herself about sex and sexuality. Ethel comes down from upstairs to bravely fess up that it’s her book (this is the only extant copy of this book in Riverdale I guess?).

Archie is sadly re-reading the one post card he has received from Fred, about “Finaly making it to California.” The sound track warbles, “Who do you suppose I really love?” as Archie thinks about his dad. The only person Archie really cares about in all universes (sorry Jughead) is Fred Andrews.

Cheryl is looking at a post card of Niagara Falls, looking just as sad. Who is this from?? Some girlfriend of hers who got into her own comphet marriage??

Archie finally tells Cheryl he can’t go through with it. When cheryl says that marrying into the Blossoms is too much to ask, that the Blossom (unspoken Curse) is her burden & cross to bear, Archie doesn’t let her mope. He suggests they elope! He understands exactly what they both want - “You could get away from your family. I could get a job on a ranch. Or be a folk singer.” In short, “be free! out west!”

Cheryl says ok, let’s try! And they hold hands as Toni listens.

Oh no, we are back to motherfucking Kevin and his stupid fucking problems and I am HATING RIVERDALE AGAIN OMG RIVERDALE YOU FOUND A WAY TO BREAK ME AT LAST???

Betty says - BETTY ACTUALLY SAYS - “I think you’re so brave.”

Betty you stupid appeasing bitch no he is not. Oh my fucking god is this a Whyte Womyn delusion what the fuck is happening? NO HE ISN’T. KEVIN IS THE LEAST BRAVE PERSON IN THIS ENTIRE SEASON. “Swell to the last,” is the approval that she gets?

FUCK THAT.

SHOOT THE FUCKER IN THE HEAD BETTY.

ANYWAY.

This is how Betty learns that the pin that she got pinned with is all about Alice wanting to fuck Betty and therefore approving her relationship with a gay boyfriend who is a liar who will never fuck her.

Toni confronts Cheryl in the changing room, atelling her not to run away with Archie, because she’s running away from herself. “Archie is a great person with the best heart, and he’s nothing like my family.” People - especially Jughead - have said the ‘great person’ and ‘best heart’ etc about Archie before in all previous seasons, but this is the first and only season when this has actually been shown to be true. Toni the anti-choice meddler tells Cheryl that running from herself is only a short term solution.

Betty is at home, ready to confront Alice about several things. Ethel has been sent away to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy which Betty knows is not a good solution at all. When confronted by the furious Betty about her incestuous feelings, Alice retaliates by telling her she burned the sex book.

Archie is waiting for Cheryl at the bus depot with tickets to California. Weeping, Cheryl drives up to tell him she can’t go with him after all. (Curse of Thornhill). “Archie some day you’re goingn to make some girl very happy - Unfortunately that girl isn’t me,” is what Cheryl says before redirecting him to try to woo Betty. “Write her one of those sweet poems of yours.”

Unchained Melody (Wooo my love) plays as Cheyl approaches Toni. The music isn’t even a little bit subtle. ‘I hunger for your touch’ as Cheryl tells Toni that she decided not to go with Archie. Toni gives her the Price of Salt (sorry, not salt, Pepper hahaha) as a lesbian manual.

Archie is writing a love poem for Betty. he’s about to rush over to give it to her when the secondd worst possible thing happens:

UNCLE FUCKING FRANK IS HERE.

He came to beat the shit out of Archie for wanting to fuck someone other than his own dad, or something.

I HATE UNCLE FUCKING FRANK.

Omg Riverdale you are really testing my limits here.

At the Pembroke, Jughead sadly tells Veronica that he can’t track Ethel down, because all he’s been told is that she’s “at some home for wayward children.” He’s so sad about it. He’s not OK. Veronica consoles him, telling him that he fought hard for Ethel and saved her.

YAAAAAYYY AND THEN THEY KISS!!!

Jughead continues to have pitch perfect reactions. “Wowiee” is exactly how you should feel after kissing Veronica Lodge. Oh I’m so happy.

[morganbritton132]

Continuing a bit from this

Because that was a fluke, right?

Steve Harrington sat at their lunch table, asked a bunch of questions, and took notes as some sort of prank, right? It’s never going to happen again. Right?

But he’s there again today (“Fucking hell”) sitting at their table, waving them over when he spots them like, “I was thinking about that depression filter you told me about. Makes no sense.”

“It’s, uh…” Jeff tries, accepting Steve’s offered applesauce. “It’s a perception filter.”

“Ohhh, that makes more sense.”

Steve opens his notebook, marks something out, and writes over it. He looks up like, “About this guy Griffon.”

And that’s how it goes. Steve asks questions. They provide answers. They realize that Steve must have some hearing loss in his left ear and adjust to that. Steve cracks a joke they don’t understand and adjusts to them, and it’s…fun.

Gareth accidentally elbows Steve in the ribs and Steve winces hard because his ribs are still fucked up from the fight. They all think this is over now and things will go back to normal but Steve…apologizes?? For being weird??? To weirdos?

“Oh, god,” Jeff says after lunch, watching Steve and Grant walk off in the same direction. “We have to keep him.”

Gareth sighs, “Eddie is going to hate this.”

[sharkylad]

Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

[art-is-kayos]

Checking up on his commission

[laddertek]

etho said actually you _don't_ understand the intricacies of how tango is my boyfriend and bdubs is my ex

(and how tango and bdubs kiss too)

Scar: We went on that little adventure, you know! Etho: Yeah, yeah, we had our adventure, that's true, that's true. Scar: You disparaged your teammates. That's it, all right, no more spoilers. Etho: (laughs) Our team has -- our team has some weird dynamics this -- this season. Cleo: (overlapping) Really, Etho? Is there trouble in paradise? (pause) Who's third-wheeling with you, again? I can't remember. Etho: (laughs) Uhh. The -- Cleo: Genuinely can't remember. I know it's you and Bdubs. And...Tango? Tango. Tango. Etho: (loudly) Why -- Why is Tango the third wheel? Why -- why isn't Bdubs the third wheel? Cleo: Because it's you and Bdubs. I'm sorry. I understand how that relationship goes. Etho: (dissatisfied) Hmm.

[little-pondhead]

in my humble opinion, dorathea should look more badass

also this turned into perspective practice by accident?? didn't want her to be a floating neck i guess

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto

Bonus:

[hellenhighwater]

wait, you're a lawyer? for real?

I got an associates in stage tech, a double BFA in Graphic Design and 3D Design, and then went to law school on full academic scholarship, booked twelve classes, fell asleep during the Bar Exam three times (but passed with flying colors before the curve), and the motion for my admission to practice (put forward by my brother, also a lawyer), started, "My sister has many issues, but the one before the Court today is that of her admission to the State Bar of Michigan."

And somehow yes, they do let me practice law.

[artgletic]

case study of the self-identified god

[hellevac]

besties who love MONEY

[gunstellations]

In the world I love

_

In a different world

[applestorms]

L can be such a possessive character at times. he always strikes me as the type of person who is deeply aware of everything that he owns, both in a more literal sense and metaphorically-- like, he knows what money he has and how to use it, what resources are readily available to him and what he has to be sneakier to utilize, the habits and tendencies and emotional states of individuals and world governments both. the DN musical really puts an emphasis on the more computer-y aspects of how his brain functions, which isn't as obvious in the manga/anime but i think still works well as a way to follow his thinking. it's kinda what near does too: everything is a factor to them, every tiny detail a new opening to optimize for the best results, every person and location and object a part of a puzzle waiting to be solved. and as a part of that, L is deeply aware of every and any little thing he may or may not have control over, and exactly to what degree.

his habit of stealing titles as depicted in the LABB murders novel is such a good example of this. ryuzaki, eraldo coil, deneuve. he eats people alive and then takes their names for himself like some kind of fucked up fae or trickster god, creating new masks and personas to hide behind from the remains of the people he's devoured. i have to wonder if he would've used the title of KIRA for himself had he won-- i can hardly imagine what kind of power such a title could hold if held in his hands. of course, he could've just used the defeat of KIRA as a way to build up the L title even further, offering up the body of a dead god like perseus showing off the head of medusa. but L is so emotionally attached to the kira case, i struggle to see him allowing it to fade from existence so thoroughly as near does, even if it is only kept close on a private level...

this is part of why i think it genuinely makes a lot of sense that L's ultimate win state would include capturing light to some degree. even if the memory of KIRA somehow manages to fully disappear from the public consciousness, there is no fucking way L is letting light yagami out of his grasp. honestly, the moment that L truly loses this game is not when he starts investigating misa while still under rem's watch, not when light gets back his memories, not even when he dies, but the moment when he allows light to be freed from the handcuffs. the moment when he allows the other members of the task force to turn off the cameras and keep him from watching light and misa talk in the lobby. the moment when he gives up, lets light yagami go outside of L's personal sphere of control, is the moment when L starts the clock ticking down to the end of his own life.

this is one of the key ways in which i see light as a true equal and parallel to L, as after L's death he, intentionally or no, continues the same tradition and takes L's title for himself, twisting the two sides together into the L-KIRA amalgamation. only, the L title functions a little bit differently than every other persona or title that we see in the series-- because L's true name is L. that's all that he is. on a literal, legal, and emotional level, i don't think that L is anything more than L. he is the world's greatest detective, he's an incredible, weirdo super genius, but he does not afford himself much more than that, barely allows himself personhood or humanity outside of his work. light was the one to ultimately defeat L because he did not just put a stain on his character (as BB attempted), did not just kill him, but stole his very identity and took it for himself.

one of the biggest contradictions of L's character that i think you must accept should you attempt to portray him accurately is that he is both deeply detached from humanity while also having all of his work and effort and life be focused around saving it. it's one of the ways in which he is an exact opposite to light-- where light relies on humanity for external validation, to be Seen, while also looking down on it as dumb and immoral and spineless, L is so separated from it that he barely exists as a person, all the while dedicating almost every action he takes to helping it. remember: for all the emotional turmoil that wammy's house and the legacy of L may put on the kids living there, ultimately it's entire existence is nothing more than L's logical solution to his potential demise. if he dies, the world goes down with him, all of the cases that are yet to happen and he is yet to solve being left in the air. he has the foresight to set up a fail safe, but not to consider the emotional implications of what being that fail safe might feel like, how high the price of your own humanity is if you are not already alienated from it, the inability to have your own name on your gravestone-- though perhaps some of the blame also falls on watari's shoulders in this case, philanthropic old bastard that he is.

imo, playing his game really got it right in presenting L and light as one and the same, synonyms on either side of the mirror. in every action they take they are both so selfishly selfless, playing the game for themselves and their own pleasure but plastering the needs and will of humanity on top of it. L isn't invested in saving humanity for the sake of humanity-- he just likes the thrill of having the stakes raised so high. hard to shit on ryuk for wanting entertainment when the humans he finds are just the same as him.

[skitskatdacat63]

"We need to find more performance, I think we've underdelivered in the last three events."

[corallapis]

Faith is an energy, the specific emotional energy the creature needs to live. Every time the Doctor gets pally with someone, I have this overwhelming urge to notify their next of kin.

[crows-of-buckets]

Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?

Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me

[dukeofthomas]

I hate the insistence in pushing Jason into the batfamily.

If he doesn't wanna go to dinner, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't wanna hang out with them, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't want to see them, he doesn't have to. If he doesn't even want to contact them, he doesn't have to.

It's so annoying to read fic and always see it presented as his Family Knows Better. Jason is just being silly by not realizing how much they love him and he just needs to let them break into his home and comms and life because they want him there.