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#no other kid spoke a different language
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Hello everyone!
I was born in Germany.
Esslingen Germany.
Can I speak German?
No.
I'm so sorry mother.
You know how I said I sat down and did my Rosetta Stone lessons for the day?
All lies.
I was too busy watching MLP episodes reupload on YouTube.
Sorry I can't speak German but at least I know a bunch of MLP facts, brony lyrics, and fan theories.
I'm sure those will be useful in the future.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆
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sonicenvy · 1 month
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one of my favorite library kid encounters this weekend was a with a little Greek three-year-old named Andromeda. She and her mom came up to get her beads for SRP, and, as is pretty common, they start telling me about what they've been reading. Friends, this child and her mother have been reading the Odyssey in Greek together. The mom and the kid chat back and forth in Greek together about the Odyssey while picking beads (and counting them in Greek), translating bits and pieces for me as they go along.
Apparently, Andromeda's favorite character in the Odyssey is Penelope, which, uh, girl I see u!!!!! Obsessed with the vibes of this toddler who read the Odyssey in Greek with her mom FIVE times this summer because that's her favorite book! GOOD! FOR! HER!
Additionally the mom was like, "yeah we also read the Iliad this summer."
no notes. impeccable. there are days when i love our kids so much y'all.
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foldingfittedsheets · 3 months
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No one made any distinction to me when I was growing up when a word wasn’t English. Andale was just another way to be told “hurry up,” and I was certain other parents told their kids, “Watch your cabesa,” when getting into the car. I laughed myself sick the first time I saw Dragon Ball Z because a ladies name was Chi Chi and I only knew that meant boobs.
All my moms family was brown and I desperately wished I was too. I wanted beautiful black hair like my mom and dark skin that didn’t burn. I didn’t like when people asked my mother if she was my nanny when they saw us together. I didn’t like that people told me I looked like my dad. They just meant I was pale.
I’d proudly announce to people that I was Mexican and become furious when they gaped or disbelieved me. My dads side has no cultural roots. When questioned my dad shrugs and says, “English maybe? I dunno.” I just wanted to be Mexican growing up. Alas, I’m only a quarter descendant of an immigrant family who vehemently didn’t want to be Mexican.
My great grandmother announced that we were American now, not Mexican. She embraced American culture as much as possible, while never learning English. My nana was put into school and punished anytime she spoke Spanish. She got caught halfway between both languages. Forced to spend her childhood raising her younger siblings she never learned to cook tamales with her mother and her friends.
When she had her own children she didn’t teach them Spanish. She used it to gossip with her own friends about them on the phone and resisted teaching them more than to come running when she shouted “Araña!” to kill a spider for her.
Thus came my mom, with her brown skin and dark hair, adrift from her culture but treated as lesser by her adopted one. My great grandmother would rejoice to see me as her descendant, white, ignorant of Spanish, the perfect American she wanted her family to be.
When I was born my nana shouted, “What’s that red on her?” only to realize it was my hair. She delighted in her palest grandchild, telling me often I was her favorite.
I’m used to the disbelief now when I tell people I’m Mexican. I can laugh and show pictures of my mom. My friend from work joked to me that I’m always coming out of the closet, over and over, because both my minority statuses aren’t as visible as her black skin.
I was recently lamenting this to a white southern friend the same one I cast psychic damage on during a DnD day. “I wish I could feel more connected to my culture, but I’d be such a fraud pretending my life is the same as other Hispanic people.”
“Skin color doesn’t matter,” he announced blithely to the choked outrage of our Indian friend in the kitchen, “You’re just as Mexican!”
I regarded him in astonishment and said, “I think skin color matters a lot. I am Mexican, but I don’t have the same cultural roots or experiences of people who are perceived as Mexican. My family didn’t pass the cultural heritage down. I think a lot of immigrant kids feel this way but it’s different for me.”
He rambled about how I’m just as valid and I quietly disregarded his advice. I could try to reconnect with my roots, but I know I’d just be another white girl pushing into a POC space.
Instead I make tamales by myself, sweating over the steaming corn husks, and I snap at people who make racist jokes about my family to me, feeling safe because my skin is the same color as theirs.
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sleepy-steve · 2 months
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@steddieangstyaugust 04/08 // angst with a happy ending
wc: 2.3k // rating: G // cw: language // tags: post-s4, eddie lives, eddie in WITSEC, mutual pining, phone calls
divider credits @steddiecameraroll-graphics
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“So, where are you now?”
Steve knew he wasn’t going to get a real answer to this question—given that Eddie wasn’t allowed to say—but it was basically tradition at this point to ask. 
Eddie chuckled through the receiver. “Hmm… it’s windy. And cold as balls. Will probably start snowing soon.”
Steve raised his brows. “Snow? This early?”
Dustin, from Steve’s kitchen island, mirrored his look of interested surprise, and immediately started looking over the map laid out on the countertop. It was dotted with little red and yellow stickers and various scribblings.
“Yep,” Eddie responded, popping the P. “Pretty shit going out for a smoke, but lots of trees around, so the view is decent at least.”
“Lots of trees,” Steve repeats, with a pointed glance at Dustin, who hurriedly starts marking different spots on the map. 
“How’s Henderson’s map going?” Eddie asked, knowing by the tone what they were doing.
“It’s… going?” Steve responded with a shrug. “He thinks he’s worked out the movement system.”
“I have worked out the movement system, thank you very much,” Dustin snarked, not looking up at Steve. “We can track their movement from the West Coast back up North, hence the snow.”
Eddie laughs again. “Kid’s too smart for his own good.”
“You’re telling me,” Steve grumbles, moving away from the kitchen, as far as the cord allowed him to. He drops his voice low. “How you holding up?”
“I dunno,” Eddie sighs. “Same shit, different place… Same shitty government officials with the same shitty requirements.”
Steve wants to say so much, to reassure and comfort him, but holds back. Keeps it in. “How’s Wayne doing?”
“He’s alright, doesn’t love the cold…” Steve can picture Eddie looking over at where Wayne is probably sitting nearby. “Hopefully they’ll move us somewhere warmer next.”
“D’you know when that’ll be?” A small pit of anxiety swirls in Steve’s gut. As it did any time they spoke of Eddie needing to move.
“Nah, last time was six months, but time before was only three. Hopefully this is just another quick one.” Steve can hear Eddie chewing on his lip, can picture him playing with his hair.
“Steve!” Dustin calls from behind the wall. “Ask Eddie what kind of trees are around him!”
Steve snorts. “Did you get that one?”
“Tell him I have no idea,” Eddie deadpans. 
Lowering the receiver, Steve calls over his shoulder. “He doesn’t know, buddy.”
“What kind of trees…” Eddie grumbles, only slightly mocking. “I guess I can’t blame him for trying.”
“It’s how he deals.” Steve keeps his voice low. “He misses you. I miss you.” His brain scolds him—too much—and he quickly adds, “We all do.”
“Yeah,” Eddie sighs, and Steve’s almost sure he hears him hit his head on the wall. “I miss you too. All of you.”
It was a thing that happened often, for how infrequently Eddie was able to call. A kind of vulnerability that Steve supposed came from the fact that they couldn’t see each other, and wouldn’t for a long time yet. They’d skirt around it, but it was there, pulled taut between them, ready to break with one wrong move.
“How much longer?” Steve asks, like he doesn’t already know, like he hasn’t been counting down the days since Eddie got taken away.
Eddie exhales heavily, the sound muffling through the receiver. “Bit under three years.” Steve can hear the sad smile in his voice.
“Right.” Steve leans back against the wall, head tilted back as longing shoots through his gut. They were almost at the halfway point. There was so much he wanted to say, but he just… couldn’t. Steve would wait.
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Steve’s kicking snow off his boots at his front door when he hears the phone ring from inside. He bolts in, slipping on the floor slightly in his haste. 
“Hello?” he answers breathlessly.
“Hey.”
A wave of relief washes over him. “Eddie,” he breathes.
“You okay? Did I wake you up?” His tone immediately switches to one of concern.
“No, no, I just got back from the Henderson’s,” Steve says, running a hand through his hair, willing his heart to calm down now that he’s answered the call. “We wanted to call you, but… y’know.”
“Yeah…” Eddie sighs. “I wish you could.”
The silence settles, and they just listen to each other breathe for several long moments. Steve knows that Eddie is holding back, the same way he is. Saying things that are only close to what they mean. Their quiet filled with unanswered questions and things they wish they could say. Finally, Eddie breaks it.
“Are you by yourself?”
“Yeah, just me tonight,” Steve says, shrugging his jacket off. “Sorry to disappoint.”
Eddie doesn’t laugh at the joke. Steve didn’t really think it was that funny. Their constant need to skirt around the thing developing between them led to him saying some dumb stuff. He rolls his eyes at himself.
“I don’t think I could handle talking to anyone else tonight,” Eddie says, voice growing soft. “It’d be, I dunno, too much. With you, I can just… be, y’know?”
Steve is surprised—as he often is—at the honesty. He tries to make his next words sound casual, but he’s sure he fails miserably. “I’m glad I caught you then.”
“Yeah… me too.” Eddie doesn’t let the silence linger for too long this time. “So, any new Henderson theories to update me on?”
Steve snorts. “Of course.”
Letting him talk about his day at the Henderson’s, Eddie hums in the right moments, asks a few follow up questions, makes little jokes, but is otherwise quiet, seemingly content to just let Steve ramble. Happy to hear his voice. He lets Steve talk until he’s yawning too much to complete a full sentence.
“Sorry, I should let you go to sleep, it’s late.” Eddie’s tone is gentle, but like he’d rather be saying anything else.
“Nah, it’s cool, man,” Steve argues sleepily. “Don’t wanna waste your call.”
“It’s never wasted with you.”
“Eddie…” Steve doesn’t know what to say. Or rather, he knows exactly what he wants to say, but doesn’t know if he should. If he even could. He yawns again.
“Come on, bed time,” Eddie’s voice teases.
Steve feels the pull of his eyelids, begging for sleep. “Yeah, alright… Talk to you soon?” He tries to ask it casually, but again, can’t seem to manage it. Something like pleading coming through in his words.
“As soon as I can,” Eddie promises, voice tight with sincerity. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Eddie.” Steve pauses. “Merry Christmas.”
He can hear the sad smile in Eddie’s voice. “Merry Christmas, Steve.”
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“How much longer now?” Steve asks, already knowing the answer.
“Two and a bit years,” Eddie sighs. “Past halfway, at least.”
Even Steve can tell he’s trying to convince himself it’s a good thing, but neither of them feel any happiness about it.
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It’s been almost six months since Steve heard from Eddie, much longer than any gap between calls before. Anxiety gnaws away at him, a constant presence whispering in the back of his mind and sitting like a stone in his stomach. The kids—barely even kids now, having graduated high school—were starting to show their worry. He begged and pleaded with invisible entities that they’d hear something soon.
The phone finally rings.
“Hello?” Steve answers with urgency, as he did every time it rang these days.
“Steve?” the voice croaks.
“Eddie!” Bringing a hand to his face, Steve’s eyes welled with tears. “Eddie, are you okay? What happened?”
“I’m fine, it’s okay,” Eddie reassures him, sounding anything but. “They just had us somewhere remote. We didn't have a phone.”
“What the fuck? Can they do that?” Quiet rage slips through Steve’s chest.
“Evidently, they can do whatever they want,” Eddie seethes. “Didn’t stop me from bringing hell at every check up until they moved us again.”
Steve winces at the pain in Eddie’s voice. “I’m so sorry, Eddie. It’s fucking awful, what they’re doing to you.”
“It’s bullshit!” Eddie snaps. “I’m so fucking sick of it. I can’t believe this was their solution. Like, I’m the one demonised and hunted down in Hawkins and somehow I’m the one that ends up punished for it! It’s not even a solution. All it’s doing is fucking me around.” He takes a breath. “It’s hurting me. It’s hurting us.”
To anyone else, it would sound like Eddie meant him-and-Wayne-us, or even him-and-the-entire-party-us. But Steve knew. Heard it in the way he almost whispered it. Steve wanted to match his anger, throw something, hit something. Instead, he willed it down.
“It fucking sucks,” Steve says, keeping his tone soft. “But we’re so close to the end now. It’ll be over soon.”
“I just…” Eddie’s voice lowers. Steve can picture the way the air deflates out of him. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish… you could’ve come with me.”
“Me too.” Steve lets the back of his head hit the wall, eyes squeezed shut. “I miss you. So much.”
“I miss you, too.” Eddie says it like it’s painful. Like it gets caught in his throat halfway up. Like he was saying something else entirely.
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“I’m sorry… I don’t know why I called when I don’t really have anything to say.” It’d been close to silent for more than five minutes before Eddie says it, voice soft. Almost timid.
The corner of Steve’s mouth lifts in a half-smile. “It’s okay. I’m just glad to hear your voice at all. To know you’re alive.”
The silence settles between them again. Comfortable, somehow. Eddie’s voice is smaller when he speaks again. “Only six months left.”
“Only six months,” Steve repeats, slightly more optimistic.
“We can… we can do it, right?” Eddie sounds so unsure. Steve can picture him playing with his hair. “It’ll be okay? When you visit?”
Steve knows what he means. He’s felt the same way for a long time. Scared that once they’re reunited, whatever this thing was—this delicate bubble of vulnerability—between them would burst. Each phone call found it wound tighter and tighter, pulled like a rubber band that would eventually reach its limit and snap, hurting both of them in the process. 
“It’ll be more than okay,” Steve says, sounding more sure than he feels. He wants more than anything to be able to hold him. To reach through the phone and wrap his arms tightly around him, feel the rise and fall of his breath and listen to his heartbeat.
“Promise?” Eddie asks, and Steve can picture him chewing on his nails.
“Promise.”
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“One month left,” Steve whispers in the dead of night. No one else is there, but something about the late hour makes him quiet. Or maybe it’s what he’s saying. Like a wish that needs to be kept secret, or it won’t come true.
“One month,” Eddie repeats, just as soft. “You’ll be here?”
“Wherever you are, I’ll be there,” Steve assures him.
He’s sure Eddie can feel it too. The thing between them growing more palpable, more solid, more real. The less time they have left, the stronger it becomes. It terrifies both of them.
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The car stops in an urban area of Chicago. Steve glances around as he gets out of the backseat, giving a quick thanks to the government official who drove him. His heart races. This is it. Double checking the address on the small piece of paper, he looks up to the block of apartment buildings, scanning the numbers.
Steve doesn’t need to look for long. At the next building, standing in the entryway, with his curly hair pulled into a messy bun, shadow of facial hair around his jaw, face more angular than Steve remembers, is—
“Eddie…” The name comes out in a soft breath, like a prayer. His eyes well up and he quickly blinks, as though the man might disappear if Steve couldn’t see him.
Whatever was holding Eddie to the stoop of his building breaks. He jumps down, skipping the stairs completely and landing with a thud of his boots. He runs, as quick as his legs allow him, until he crashes into Steve, almost knocking them both to the ground. With his arms around Steve’s neck, Eddie whispers his name over and over. Steve pulls him tight, arms wrapped around his waist. Steve can feel Eddie’s heartbeat matching his—racing, pounding, about to jump out of his chest. They hold each other like they’ll never let go, afraid that all of it could be taken away again.
Finally, Eddie pulls back, one hand softly entangled in Steve’s hair, and looks at him, huge eyes filled with tears. “You look different,” Eddie says with a wet laugh.
Steve can’t help but smile. “In a good way?”
Eddie nods with enthusiasm, grinning despite the tears. “In a really good way.”
Their eyes are locked on each other, and Steve can’t hold back anymore. He leans in, cautiously at first, before Eddie gives him a tiny nod, leaning in to meet him halfway. Their lips finally meet, crashing together, and Steve gasps at the feeling. It’s messy and desperate and shy. It’s everything they wished they could say, given to each other in their kiss. Steve brings his hands up to hold Eddie’s face, feeling the tears spill over and wiping them away with his thumbs.
They pull back, laughing and crying. Steve kisses him again and again and again, on his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, before finally just looking, taking in every detail of Eddie’s face. The deep brown of his eyes, the thick lashes, the faint dusting of freckles across his nose. “I’m never letting you go. Never again.”
Eddie laughs again. It sounds like a sob. “Never again. You promise?”
“I promise,” Steve says reverently. “I love you, Eddie.”
Eddie’s smile grows wider, a fresh lot of tears spilling from his eyes. “I love you, too.”
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misstycloud · 3 months
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Yandere merman x reader x best friend
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———————————————————————
Imagine a darling finding out she’s half-mermaid.
She lives in a small fishing village way out in he country. It’s the kind of town no one ever leaves. You’re born, grow up, and die there. Whole generations of families have lived there since long before.
Her parents are normal folks; father’s sailor and mother’s a stay-at-home wife. But since darlings family is so much like others’, she doesn’t understand why she’s so different. Her mother often jokes about how her first word was ‘sea’ and how she’d find her standing in her crib, staring out the window at the waves crashing into the cliffs.
Darling has been in a constant battle with herself her whole life. Since as long as she can remember she’s had a gripping fascination with the ocean. She can’t help it! Every night when everyone else laid sound-asleep in their beds, did she lie awake and fantasize about sneaking out and disappearing under the dark waves. No matter how hard she tried shutting these thoughts away, they always came back to haunt her.
While her mother thought is was cute and not a problem, it couldn’t be anything more. Her mother didn’t understand- as sweeet as she was. It probably stemmed from her being too busy with darlings younger siblings and doing chores, that she didn’t think of how the village spoke of her daughter. They call her strange and speak of what a waste of beauty on someone like her; she’s no good and you can’t marry her. Her mother didn’t know about how the rest of the kids teased darling. They pulled her her and pushed he on the ground. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for her to find her school books wet with sea water, since she ‘likes it so much’. The teachers didn’t care either.
The only solace darling can find is in her best friend. He always defended her agaisnt her bullies- which was practically everyone- and stayed by her side, even when he could become affected too. Darling feels he’s too good to her. The times she felt so alone, he was there to comfort her when her confidence was at its lowest. He held her when she cried and patted her back, whispering into her ear about how sweet and beautiful she is.
Then, by chance one day, she meets a merman. She is surprised- merfolk only exists in stories after all! The merman is so inhumanly beautiful. With long hair cascading down his back and a long fish tail. His tail looked very strong, he was no doubt an excellent swimmer. At first she is scared of him, she runs away-ignoring his shouts for her to come back- and keeps to herself in her room. Her family is worried and wonders if something is wrong, but she tells them it’s nothing and that she’s just a little tired. In her room, darling thinks about the merman. How is it possible for him to exist? Was she hallucinating and perhaps he wasn’t real? Are there other mythological creatures out there? After overcoming her initial fear and hesitance, she decides to go back to the beach.
The merman was still there. She dares ask how he can talk and he responds with, “My people don’t speak the way you do, but I have taught myself the language of humans. That’s how I am communicating with you.”
She asks him more questions, all of which he answers truthfully. Or, well, she hoped he wasn’t trying to deceive her. Darling even gained the courage of asking whether the stories of merfolk feastin on human flesh is true, and when the merman confirms it’s indeed true, she backs up. When he notices her alarmed state, he hurriedly add that he would never eat her.
It’s then he hits her with the most shocking reveal of her life. Apparently, he senses mer- blood in her vains.
“….n-no, that can’t be. You must be sensing wrong- I’m human..!”
He sighs. “Merfolk are very intuitive. We always recognise our own kind.”
He reveals that he suspect her of being half- merfolk since the scent of mer is strong on her. Darling thinks it’s laughable, both her parents are perfectly human. It can’t be. Like, she’d notice if one of her parents was a mythological creature with a fish tail as a lower half.
The merman tells her of old stories among his people, of mers who reproduced with humans- whether its be willingly or the human had kidnapped them. The children would always be different. On the surface they appeared like any other human, but on the inside there would constantly be a longing to return to their orgins- the ocean. Darling is conflicted. On one hand she can’t believe what she’s hearing, however, the description of the half- bloods fit her too well.
That night she confronts her father while he’s getting off work. He breaks instantly. She is shocked to discover that her father had an affair with a mermaid whilst being married to her mother. He had discovered her while fishing in an unpopular area and took her with him. He sobs that he couldn’t help it, the mermaid was so enchanting he couldn’t control himself. When the mermaid fell pregnant, he was so scared of what his wife would say when she found out, but when the child came out human, he was puzzled but relieved at the same time. He brought the baby home and played it off as finding it abondoned by the docks.
Darling can’t believe it. Her father was practically a monster. She recalled the tales of kidnapped merfolk held against their will, by the merman. She couldn’t imagine what her birth mother must’ve gone through. Her father begs her not to tell her mother because it would destroy the happy family they’d built.
In the end, she chooses to keep the secret for the time being. The right thing was to tell her mother, but it was also true that it would ruin everything and she didn’t want her younger siblings to grow up in a broken family. The only thing she wanted was for her father to leave her alone and never speak to her unless absolutely necessary. He agreed.
She begins spending all her time by the beach, in the company of the merman. She wondered what his name was, and to her bewilderment, he shrugged and said he didn’t have one. So she decides to give him one herself, Aqualor. It seemed merfolk-y enough. Luckily, the merman didn’t object and smiled instead, accepting the name.
Her best friend is worried though. He can never seem to even catch a glimpse of the love of his life anymore. Where was she? Now that they’d both grown into adults, it became harder to see each other; he had to work to support himself(and her, in the future). He felt horrible about it, but in all honesty he was a little glad the rest of the village didn’t take to her. If they did, surely she would have been taken away from him. Even if she didn’t know it, she was incredibly beautiful. It was impossible for him not to be a little biased, but she truly was the most wonderful thing he’d laid his eyes on. He could only imagine how it’d be if people actually treated her like she looked.
While her best friend felt the separation anxiety, darling count be happier. Finally she had someone who understood her fully. There was someone to relate to when she explained the urge to dive deep beneath the waves and disappear, and how pleasant water felt on her skin. Aqualor understood everything perfectly.
Her best memory was of her first swim with Aqualor. She’d been somewhat sacred in he beginning. Despite her desperate longing for the ocean, she’d never been in it much. It was quite ironic. He’d been so patient with her, never pushing or getting annoyed. He waited until she was more comfortable venturing out in the openness. Now they swam together every day, laughing and playing. Of course, Aqualor was the superior swim more out of the two of them, but darling likes to think she isn’t so shabby herself.
This is how she thought the rest of her life would be like; she and Aqualor enjoying each others company from morning to evening, while she returns home to the village every night. She didn’t have a job- no one would hire her anyway- so why not have fun with your friend? It wouldn’t be the best life, but it’d be peaceful and easy.
However, the ‘easy’ disappeared when Aqualor asked if she’d like to join him in the sea permanently.
“What? What do you mean?” She tilted her head in confusion.
The merman flipped his tail in the shallow water- his upper body was on the sand while the rest of him remained in the water. “Would you not like to come with me? We already spend so much time together, so it would hardly be any different.”
“Yeah, but I can’t just leave. I have to stay with my family.” She glanced back up and could see the tiniest snippet of houses, the village.
“You mean the father who has committed sins, a mother who doesn’t care for your feelings and siblings who forget your existence?” He harshly pointed out. His words stung.
“They’re far from perfect, I know that. But still, I can’t just vanish- I don’t even think I can survive out there!”
He grabbed her hand, his were wet and slightly webbed. It didn’t bother her though.
“Of course you can. Remember your heritage? Besides, I will be there and guide you through it. I will protect you, I will hunt for you. It will just be you and me, happy and content. Doesn’t it sound lovely?”
She went quiet and looked away, unsure.
He continued, “You alway tell me of how the humans treat you. They scorn you and say hateful words about you. That is because you are above them.” He smiled. “You do not belong here- you are mer! You should be with your people.”
“But even if I have mer-blood, I’m still human, look at me.” She stretched out her legs, flexing them and empathising their difference.
“You may have the appearance of a human, you soul, however, it is of a mermaid. You long to be free and to live the life you’ve always meant to live. They can’t keep you here in this…” his voice trailed off to disgust “cage.”
Darling sat and listened to Aqualor’s ramblings. Did he have a point? It’s not like anyone would miss her really. Her friend, yes, but he has so much else to live for. He’s not strange and everyone thinks well of him. He’ll be successful.
“So, what do you say, my coral? Will you join me?”
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inkskinned · 1 year
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there's this video you've probably seen already where a woman is shaking in front of a microphone and delicately tries to ask - how can i make my husband listen to me, i've tried everything, i don't want to seem ungrateful and the other man laughs - the problem is that you married a man, we're only listening 25% of the time and we only understand 5% of that! and the audience laughs and the woman laughs and you just sat there, phone in your hand, letting the sound of it echo
and the thing is that people make think-pieces about it (isn't this one of them) and satire versions and "flipping the script" which is good and fun but at the end of the day, there's some truth in that man's response about men-not-listening. and you have tried to language that feeling for years, this sense that you can only take up 33% of a conversation before others view it as being "dominating".
it's not that they aren't listening, it's that the action they're taking is purposefully silencing. it's different. you accidentally-don't-listen a lot; just because the world is loud and you're distracted. you don't mean anything by it. and the truth is that the man who spoke is relying on that to be true of you; the way it's true of everyone. but there is a different undertone to his kind of not-listening. what he means is they don't respect you and you shouldn't expect them to. there is a difference between oh shit i forgot to take the trash out and why didn't you remind me to do it, just like there is a difference between i didn't realize you wanted to go out this weekend and why do you expect me to plan things why can't you just tell me where we're going.
and the thing is that it isn't just him, and it's actually not just because of your gender - your skin, your class status, your weight, their ableism - it happens often. so often it feels like a tightness around your throat and a weight in your stomach. you're not even "really" allowed to be upset about it, because to them it's a joke. and they laugh. and you know exactly the amount of work that goes into every conversation. how you have to work to condense down your thoughts into intelligent, crisp soundbites; worried someone will try to swoop in and cut you off. and there's this sense from everyone else - oh stop being so sensitive, are you really upset just because they weren't listening and you don't know how to say the way that feels when it happens constantly.
there's that video of the science summit where a woman in the audience finally says let her speak please! and the whole crowd bursts into applause and the man leading the summit holds up his hands and bows his head and says oops, sorry! like what he did was awkward and embarrassing, a little social gaffe that happens easily. later in your meetings, you're asked to take notes, and you don't say anything, you just hear let her speak please! ringing in your head and know that you'll never be brave enough for that kind of thing. and besides. think of all the people who agree this was a one-off, he just got excited and all of the people who say one man is not indicative of all of society
at the dinner table you're talking about someone you don't like and how he's not good to his girlfriend and how she always has to remind him to put the effort in and before him, she was glowing with curiosity and passion but now she just seems... tired, unhappy. that he likes the way she burns out; she stays home and takes care of him and their 2 kids. and your father sniffs and says that men take a while to learn those kinds of things. and you just stare at him and think about your childhood and are like - no wonder i turned out like this
and you want to say - there's no fucking secret school or mystic form of communication. i was not sent to Rearing a Child University. i did not graduate from Getting Chores Done College. i ask questions and i listen and i pay attention, because that's basic fucking human decency. it stems from respect, and how i respect others and their agency. i clean the house because someone should clean. not because it comes "naturally".
hell, you had to google "how to boil an egg" the other day, just because you usually make them scrambled. you can never remember which of the 2 bathroom cleaners make chlorine gas, only that two of them definitely do. you've accidentally bleached your clothes. it took you like 3 years of self-teaching before you figured out how to actually cook things correctly - for that whole time, you burnt or undercooked everything. but you did teach yourself; just like you taught yourself how to listen with empathy. just like how you taught yourself to think before you speak. to be kind first, to be better at communicating. it seemed like a good thing, an adult thing.
the joke the man in the video makes is that women say i'm fine! when they are not fine. and you think about the 150 conversations that happened around that; about how she probably has had so many arguments with her husband. how she said i'm upset you don't take me anywhere and he got mad at her because of course i do, you made me go to that stupid restaurant like last week and she probably said that's not what i'm saying and he said now i'm supposed to be psychic or something and she said no of course not and he said how am i supposed to know what to do when you don't even like everything and she said i do like things and he said well how am i supposed to win? and her pastor probably told her to be more grateful because they do things at all, even if she has to plan them and her mom probably told her that's just how men are honey and she probably cried over her journal, trying to figure out why the fuck she "has everything" and is still so bitterly, horribly unhappy
and how, in your life, for so many reasons, you looked down the barrel of another argument; of explaining yourself and being vulnerable and begging for help again. how many times you just said i'm fine because it was better than doing that again; it was better than wringing yourself out when it's literally easier to just pretend. because he wasn't going to listen. your father wasn't going to be better and your boyfriend wasn't going to be better and your boss wasn't going to be more respectful.
and you sit in front of a video of a woman shaking, looking horrible and guilt-wrought that she's even asking this question. and you know; deep in your heart - that's you. in a different life, you are her. you've stood in her spot. and you had to listen while someone else cackled - why would we bother to notice when you talk?
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saintsenara · 5 months
Note
Riddle’s extremely fearful and aggressive reaction to Dumbledore when he thinks he’s a doctor (and the fact that he assumes this at all and believes he is being lied to) has some pretty dark implications (which of course no one follows up on). Do you have thoughts?
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
and yes - this has occurred to me too... which means that my thoughts come with a trigger warning for the sexual abuse of a child, and are under the cut.
the relevant scene in canon is, of course, this:
“I am Professor Dumbledore.” “Professor?” repeated Riddle. He looked wary. “Is that like doctor? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?”  He was pointing at the door through which Mrs. Cole had just left. “No, no,” said Dumbledore, smiling.  “I don’t believe you,” said Riddle. “She wants me looked at, doesn’t she? Tell the truth!”  He spoke the last three words with a ringing force that was almost shocking. It was a command, and it sounded as though he had given it many times before. His eyes had widened and he was glaring at Dumbledore, who made no response except to continue smiling pleasantly. After a few seconds Riddle stopped glaring, though he looked, if anything, warier still. “Who are you?” “I have told you. My name is Professor Dumbledore and I work at a school called Hogwarts. I have come to offer you a place at my school - your new school, if you would like to come.”  Riddle’s reaction to this was most surprising. He leapt from the bed and backed away from Dumbledore, looking furious.  “You can’t kid me! The asylum, that’s where you’re from, isn’t it? ‘Professor,’ yes, of course - well, I’m not going, see? That old cat’s the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they’ll tell you!”
the surface-level reading of this scene - which is clearly what the text wants us to go for - is that riddle thinks he's about to be institutionalised for being "mad" - and, specifically, that he thinks that what dumbledore has been told is his "madness" is actually his magic.
[he is also clearly meant to be read as panicking a little bit that he's fucked around torturing his fellow children and is now about to find out...]
that riddle accepts he's a wizard so easily - and that he is so reassured by dumbledore agreeing that he's not mad - is something the text wants us to read as sinister. him immediately describing himself as "special" is set up as a precursor to the adult voldemort's delusions of grandeur - which the entire arc of the series, ending in his death as an ordinary man, is designed to undermine.
but i've always disliked this reading. the eleven-year-old riddle - a magical child raised around non-magical people - is objectively correct to describe his powers as "special" [in that they make him identifiably different from the crowd] within the context in which he lives. the word choice is nowhere near as deep as dumbledore decides - he's clearly known since he was very young that he's a wizard, but he didn't have the precise language to describe this fundamental part of himself until dumbledore offered it; prior to that, "special" is a perfectly reasonable alternative term.
and, in always knowing that he's a wizard, he also knows that he doesn't have a mental illness - but he must also know that this is something it's near impossible for him to prove.
in the real world, if i spoke to a patient who told me:
“I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to.”
then i would be correct to describe them as experiencing psychosis. and i might - depending on their other symptoms - have reasonable cause to admit them [voluntarily or not] for psychiatric treatment.
riddle is - of course - demonstrably not psychotic. but it's not unreasonable that mrs cole would assume he is - the world she lives in, as a muggle [even if she's a religious one], is one in which people do not possess the ability to move objects or control animals with their minds, and if one of her charges is convinced that he can, then she's justified in seeking medical intervention.
[that psychiatric treatment in the 1930s can be described without exaggeration as inhumane is another matter...]
which is to say, i think we can easily suppose that mrs cole has - prior to dumbledore's arrival - succeeded in having riddle "looked at", and that the idea that he's mentally ill and should be committed to an asylum has been mentioned before. i think most of us would be instinctively [and angrily] wary of doctors if this happened to us, regardless of how nice the doctors in question were.
and maybe that's all there is to it.
and maybe it isn't...
in the doylist text, the eleven-year-old riddle's personality is the way it is because he's the villain of the series. where harry is preternaturally capable, even as a child, of all the things the series defines as admirable - above all, enduring difficulty without complaint - riddle is preternaturally incapable of them. he's meant to come across as unambiguously sinister - and the fact that the text repeatedly emphasises that he has control over his unpleasant traits invites us to view him as someone who is acting with full agency. that he lives in an orphanage is a trope which the text uses, like a campy horror film might, predominately to underscore how creepy he is - and the text, in keeping with its general lack of interest in states and their institutions, never really prompts us to interrogate the impact of his childhood upon the course his life takes.
[this is despite the fact that voldemort's reliving of the night he killed the potters in deathly hallows is an incredibly accurate depiction of ptsd...]
but it's also the case that the eleven-year-old riddle's behaviour and personality fits a pattern we might expect to see in a child who is being abused, sexually or otherwise:
he's aggressive, he has a hair-trigger temper, and he becomes distressed even by behaviour - such as dumbledore speaking mildly and calmly - which would not ordinarily be expected to provoke such a reaction.
his broader emotional state is fractious. his mood changes sharply, he seems to feel emotions very profoundly, he struggles to control his emotional response to things, he's extremely easily irritated, he's attention-seeking - and he particularly seeks negative attention, and he's very highly-strung. his admission in deathly hallows that he feels calm before he kills - or before he otherwise eradicates a threat or a problem - comes with the flip-side that he's someone who appears, when things aren't going well or he finds himself in a situation which he can't control, to become quite anxious. which is a trauma response.
he's extremely isolated. the text presents the fact that he has no friends as a deliberate choice - "lord voldemort has never had a friend, nor do i believe that he has ever wanted one" - and his relationship with everyone else he ever meets, including his fellow orphans, is defined by the text as exclusively involving him controlling, manipulating, and punishing them. or: he is always the more powerful person in the pairing. but this need for control can be read as self-protective just as easily as it can be read as sinister. there are hints in canon that riddle is not just some malevolent force in the orphanage preying on mild-mannered innocents. for example, billy stubbs, the owner of the rabbit he kills, is targeted by riddle as revenge: “Billy Stubbs’s rabbit... well, Tom said he didn’t do it and I don’t see how he could have done, but even so, it didn’t hang itself from the rafters, did it? [...] But I’m jiggered if I know how he got up there to do it. All I know is he and Billy had argued the day before." on the rare occasions billy turns up in fics, he's usually - i find - written very like neville - sweet and guileless and a bit pathetic. but the alternative reading - especially when we take into account that riddle attacks the rabbit rather than billy himself - is that billy is someone he would be afraid to physically confront. indeed, it's striking that voldemort - at all stages of his life - is described as being quite physically fragile. not only is he very thin, but he's always cold and his heartbeat is described several times in canon as irregular. i think this is supposed to be a comment on the physical changes he undergoes the more horcruxes he makes - although the idea that the soul would affect the heart doesn't actually align with how the series understands the soul to relate to the body - but it can also be interpreted perfectly legitimately as something he was experiencing prior to splitting his soul. i am committed to the headcanon that riddle was quite a sickly child - and that this is one of the things which drives his fear of death - and i'm also committed to the idea that his obsession with magic is because the enormity of his magical power makes up for his physical lack. he can defeat - and humiliate and frighten and remove the threat of - billy or dennis [or even an adult man?] with magic. without it, if they were to physically overpower him, then he wouldn't be able to throw them off.
he is extremely nervous about being alone in a room with dumbledore - someone he doesn't know, and who he assumes is connected to a profession [and, maybe, who knows any other doctors he's been previously made to see...] of which he is frightened.
he doesn't trust or confide in anyone - which, as a child, means particularly that he doesn't trust or confide in adults in positions of responsibility. he's clearly uneasy with the idea of finding himself in the subordinate position in an adult-child relationship when dumbledore offers to take him shopping for school supplies - potentially because he's worried that dumbledore will try and dictate or restrict what he's allowed to buy unless he behaves in a certain way... and i am always very struck that dumbledore says in half-blood prince: "He was very guarded with me; he felt, I am sure, that in the thrill of discovering his true identity he had told me a little too much. He was careful never to reveal as much again." this is presented in the text as evidence that dumbledore is the only person of whom voldemort is afraid - by which the text means that voldemort acknowledges that dumbledore knows that an ordinary man, mortal and unimpressive, lurks behind the mask of unassailable power he has created for himself; and which the text thinks is a good thing. but we can also read it as a self-protective act on riddle's part. in his excitement, he offers dumbledore information [that he is known to be a liar, that he is in trouble a lot, that mrs cole dislikes him and is disinclined to believe anything he says] which would give dumbledore - or anyone in a similar position of power and presumed respectability - cover to abuse him, safe in the knowledge that he would be unlikely to be believed if he reported it.
he doesn't appear to feel safe in the orphanage and he's frequently absent from it - by his own admission, he spends a huge amount of time wandering around london on his own, which may even involve him staying away for several days at a time. nobody appears to notice or care about this.
he's very independent - which the text again presents as evidence of his deliberate self-isolation and rejection of the bonds of love and friendship - and his independence is unusual for a child his age [i.e. that he is capable of doing all his own shopping for school].
his knowledge of violence - i.e. how he designs the trip to the cave to be maximally psychologically devastating for dennis and amy and devoid of repercussions for himself - is also more advanced and methodical than would be expected in a child of his age. again, the text uses this to emphasise how inextricable the child-voldemort is from his adult self - and also, to some extent, to underscore the intellectual brilliance [his magic is also more advanced than is normal for a child] which his narrative archetype [the exceptional villain who is defeated by the everyman hero] requires. but we can also read it as evidence of his own victimisation. a common sign that a child is being sexually abused is that they display a knowledge of sexual behaviour which is more advanced than is reasonable for a child of their age - for example, knowing in detail how a sex act is performed, or fluently using sexual slang which they have no chance of knowing either from age-appropriate settings like school-based sex education or conversations with a parent or trusted adult, or from the sort of enthusiastic hoarding of rude words and phrases all children enjoy as they grow up. riddle's precise, clinical knowledge of how to manipulate, frighten, torture, and control can be seen as something similar. if he can - at eleven or younger - methodically break down another child until they're "never quite right" again, then this is because he's learned how to from someone.
he keeps secrets. and he also goes out of his way to extract them. his grooming of ginny in chamber of secrets - he manipulates her into confiding things she wants to keep to herself, promises he won't tell anyone, and then uses the threat that he will to get her to do his bidding - is an absolutely textbook example of how abusers use the idea of secrecy to control their victims. it doesn't make his abuse of ginny any less inexcusable if we assume he learns this from being on the other side of things.
dumbledore understands his little cache of objects as trophies he's taken from victims - and the text takes the view that dumbledore is correct in this assessment. that hoarding trophies is something widely associated with serial killers means that this is yet another thing which underlines how creepy - and how like his adult self - the child-voldemort is. but it's also the case that the adult - and teenage - voldemort places a lot of emphasis on gift-giving as part of his control over other people. the two most obvious examples in canon are wormtail being given his shiny hand as a reward for helping voldemort get his body back, and slughorn being buttered up with crystallised pineapple before voldemort asks him about horcruxes. the text thinks this is sinister - and one of the reasons it does this is because gift-giving is a grooming tactic. the text also clearly thinks this isn't behaviour voldemort has learned from the other side. and yet a common sign that a child is being abused is if they have possessions it doesn't make sense for them to own [i.e. a child from a low-income background who is suddenly decked in designer clothes] and which they can't or won't explain how they came by. riddle's cache isn't luxurious - although he's so poor that a yoyo or a mouth organ probably is a luxury to him - but there's also nothing in canon which precludes the objects being presents, rather than stolen goods. if the spell dumbledore uses to make the box rattle is caused by a statement which is both relatively ambiguous and dependent on dumbledore's subjective personal morality - is there anything in this room he's acquired through nefarious means? - then the spell would still work as it does in canon if riddle was an abuse victim given the objects as "rewards". dumbledore's tendency to locate right and wrong in the individual and dumbledore's belief that good people should steadfastly endure misery means he can be written entirely canon-coherently as someone who would think a victim who appeared to collude in their own abuse - such as a victim who "offered" a sexual act because their abuser promised them something if they did - was behaving consensually, manipulatively, and nefariously. and it's worth noting that when riddle doesn't know what dumbledore has done to make the box rattle, he is "unnerved". when he realises dumbledore thinks he's stolen the objects - and that he has no interest in forcing him to admit this aloud - he is "unabashed". perhaps because he's just received proof that an experience he doesn't want to talk about is still secret...
on the other hand, the objects could indeed be stolen - because petty criminality and anti-social behaviour, especially in pre-teen children, is also a sign of abuse.
he can be extremely obsequious - when dumbledore tells him to watch how he speaks he becomes "unrecognisably polite", he ruthlessly flatters slughorn, and he is cringingly deferential to hepzibah smith. the text understands this as evidence that his apparent charm is only superficial - another trait associated in the popular imagination with serial killers [and it's striking that so much about the young voldemort - handsome, charming, seemingly quiet and polite, true evil lurking underneath the mask - is exactly like the pop-culture persona which has been created for ted bundy...]. voldemort himself agrees that his charm is performative in chamber of secrets: “If I say it myself, Harry, I’ve always been able to charm the people I needed. So Ginny poured out her soul to me, and her soul happened to be exactly what I wanted." but his obsequiousness is also a fawn response - a way of minimising a threat by attempting to please the person issuing it. he becomes "unrecognisably polite" - after all - in response to this: Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. “If, as I take it, you are accepting your place at Hogwarts - ” “Of course I am!” “Then you will address me as ‘Professor’ or ‘sir.’ ”  Riddle’s expression hardened for the most fleeting moment before he said, in an unrecognisably polite voice, “I’m sorry, sir. I meant - please, Professor, could you show me - ?”  riddle could reasonably interpret what dumbledore says here as a threat to prevent him attending hogwarts - even though dumbledore evidently doesn't mean it in this way - and he switches to being fawning because this is something he really doesn't want to happen...
do i think that any of this is what the text was actually going for? no. and nor do i think that reading riddle as a victim of abuse excuses the violence which the adult voldemort goes on to perpetuate.
but i think it is a reading of his characterisation which is both canon-plausible and interesting - a strange, sickly child with a reputation for cruelty and dishonesty being abused by the respectable doctor who is constantly called in to treat his coughs and wheezes, who buys him little presents and charms him into telling him secrets, who then [to paraphrase the teenage voldemort] feeds him a few secrets of his own, safe in the knowledge that nobody will ever believe him if he tries to get help.
and i also think this a reading which is sincerely important.
a significant contributor to the prevalence of child abuse - no matter what exact form this abuse takes - is that we are culturally conditioned to imagine that both the abuser and the victim will look and behave in a certain way if the abuse is "real".
and this means, all too often, that we take child abuse more seriously when the victim is "sympathetic" - when they're from a stable home, and their family are respectable, and they do well in school, and they're polite and sweet, and they look innocent, and they behave perfectly appropriately for their age, and nobody would ever dare to say that they come across as older than they are, and they're white, and they don't have a history of lying, and they don't have a history of attention-seeking, and they don't have a criminal record, and they're not abusive themselves, and there's absolutely no way of suggesting that they colluded in their abuse, and the perpetrator was someone who looks like a child abuser.
someone who is creepy, low-status, ugly, unpopular. someone who everyone can tell is socially abnormal, someone who nobody would ever intentionally permit to be around their children. not someone who is charming, well-respected, attractive, rich, popular, trustworthy. not someone who has a loving family and a happy home. not someone we might be friends with.
but many perpetrators of child abuse are these second group of people. and many victims of child abuse are "unsympathetic", when their social positions and reputations are compared to their abusers' own.
they lie. they steal. they're attention-seeking. they're vindictive. they have trouble distinguishing between imagination and reality. they're violent. they're bullies. they hurt animals. they abuse other children. they take drugs. they're mentally-ill. they come from broken homes. they're in the care of the state. they're dirty. they're poor. they're odd. they're behind at school and badly-behaved in the classroom. they do things which allow their abuse to be dismissed as something they brought upon themselves - they speak or dress in certain ways, they pose provocatively in pictures and post them on the internet, they are known to be sexually active outside of the context of their abuse, they lie about being over the age of consent, they engage in sexual behaviour with an adult abuser in a way which appears [even though it isn't, and there's never a circumstance in which it will be] to be consensual or for their own personal gain, they are flattered by the attention they receive from someone who is important or attractive grooming them, they have complicated - and not always wholly negative - feelings towards their abusers.
and they are still - unequivocally - victims, and what happens to them is still - unequivocally - abuse.
tom riddle is an unsympathetic victim - not only of any potential abuse, but also of the horrors of his life which are explicit on the canon page: that he is raised in an orphanage; that he is grieving; that he knows nothing about his family; that he is thought to be mad.
the absence of any institutional response to his childhood experiences - dumbledore, by his own admission, discloses nothing about riddle to his fellow teachers - is a flaw repeated again and again in the worldbuilding of the harry potter series.
hogwarts - and the wizarding [and muggle] state more broadly - doesn't intervene in any case of neglect or abuse, from harry to snape to voldemort's own parents. the series' individualistic morality means that we aren't supposed to interrogate these collective failings. and the series' black-and-white view of good and evil - and its general belief that violence is fine if the person it happens to "deserves" it - means that it has no interest in examining the ways that poverty, isolation, and neglect are risk factors; that straightforwardly unpleasant people can still be victims; that victims can go on to become perpetrators without their victimhood ceasing to matter; and that the abuse of children usually takes place not in silence and secrecy, concealed in ways which make it fine for adults not to notice it and not to intervene, but in plain sight.
this is knowledge it never hurts to refresh. thinking about lord voldemort's childhood might be an usual way of doing so... but it is an effective one nonetheless...
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hawtlineblingz · 1 month
Text
My Thoughts on Zayne's Hidden Motive Discourse
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pic : chibiayato (x)
Disclaimer : this post is made as a response and purely written by my understanding and opinion on recent discourse that happened on tiktok regarding the hate and mischaracterization on Zayne. This post isn't proof read and English is not my first spoken language so i appologize for bad grammar / spelling mistakes and i hope my points and arguments can came trough correcty.
! DO NOT REPOST TO OTHER PLATFORM (link shares are okay) !
Context :
I'd like to put out my arguments, as proof that i highly do not support the narration, the hate train from TikTok community has on zayne saying "they made him a pushover wattpad boy on this card" and said this card is Zayne being very OOC.
Before putting out my thoughts. I want to point out that i wrote this based on the game's JP Dub because i understood Japanese better and i just want to say that there are alot of contexts and implied language that unfortunatelly got lost on the EN translations.
[Proof media shown below]
Quick summary of the card and proofs :
At the beginning of this memory MC got injured on a mission and zayne suddenly was positioned as the helping medical staff for the area that MC we're working on though he lied about his reasoning during this moment.
Their interaction is highly implied that zayne communicates with her as Zayne the Doctor and Zayne as MC's romantic partner.
Its clear that zayne uses different words when talking with her as a Doctor and as a non platonic partner and so is his tone when speaking.
Proof 1 :
After treating her wound as a doctor, he put MC hair behind her ears and, told her that he's going back to work.
(Vid down below)
If u watch the JP dub u can clearly tell this is him playing 2 different figures at the same time.
Proof 2 :
When MC we're talking to the kid that she saved, Alfred, he told her that she was very strong, and she asked if he wants to see her solid abs. But then Zayne came in, while coughing, and said
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Though on the JP dub he says "That's useless, a kid shouldn't be seeing that". In a teasing way, though his tone is very stoic and he said it with a poker face.
And after that he spoke to her switching being a doctor and a partner again, when he told her to wait in the treating room 5. He does this for litterally the whole menoria, but i think 2 examples are enough as a proof.
Proof 3 :
The mention of "fortune telling". A reference to Zayne's MYTH 2. It's not really important but i just wanna point this one out to argue that during this conversation Zayne n MC clearly have a healthy realtionship he mentions alot about her wellbeing as a very important part of his stress management, seeing her well and able to banter with him put his mind at ease, knowing MC's nature to be a little bit reckless and clumsy.
Proof 4 :
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When Alfred told MC and Zayne that they we're invited to the farewell ceremony, and asked them if they could attend, she bargained Zayne for his time to appreciate the people on the area, calling him "医者のおじさん" or Uncle Doctor. And Zayne referes to himself as both Uncle Doctor and Brother Doctor or "医者のお兄さん" now this is very important. Because this shows a concrete proof that Zayne has been playing 2 person figures during his time at the local's hospital. As Dr. Zayne and 'just' Zayne.
On the JP dub he said "Uncle Doctor might be busy, but Brother Doctor might have some time to spare". This important context is basically not translated well on the EN dub. And he is not acting OOC.
Proof 5 :
At the farewell ceremony, MC and Zayne talked about life and death meaning and value, as a hunter and a doctor. On this part u can clearly hear Zayne is a little bit upset on how reckless MC is as if she doesn't value her life enough to help people. She told him about already having her last wishes but she stopped herself because he interupted her, Zayne is upset, again, u can hear him clearly not happy at the way she positioned herself and her life against danger and death.
He made his boundaried clear especially having to positioned himself as a cardiac surgeon on how it's hard when he had touched someone's naked beating heart on his own palm, doing an OC-CPR. Trying to save that person.
During this time MC fell silent as she think about everything and rechoose her words, reminding herself how difficult it is to prevent and save someone from death.
Proof 6 :
When the lanterns being released to the sky MC said that the lights is beautiful, he nods at her saying "yes, its beautiful" but he didn't even turn around to look at the lantern, his eyes are glued to her posing for the picture. A VERY IMPORTANT POINT, he admited that he IS talking about her, not the lantern. You can tell on how his yearning for her is growing here, It's not everyday Zayne can be this transparent with his intentions especially when being asked.
Proof 7 :
As MC fell asleep on his car after the flight he asked if she wants him to drop him off at her place, but then he asked again, gently, if she wants to just stay at his place. Again, hints for his yearning on his voice.
NOW. This one has been a point of hate on Zayne because on the EN translation he said this :
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While on JP he said "if u can't answer it now, i'm assuming it's a okay". Now this sentence implying a hint of worryness on how tired and sleepy she was.
The people on tiktok pointed out that Zayne did not care about her consent while on the card, is clearly said that MC did KNEW and RECALL she went straight to Zayne's house. The situation isn't like as if Zayne took her somewhere shady without her consent. And he treated her with so much care by cooking her breakfast.
Proof 8 :
Now here Greyson exposes Zayne to MC that he insisted that he wanted to took the medical mission on a high risk quaranteened area, even though he was positioned on a less dangerous area beforehand. He even said Zayne acts like he doesn't care much trough his words but Zayne is actually CARES and WORRIES about her alot.
We can see trough out his latest cards, every emotions are drawn on his voice and body language.
Proof 9 :
During this part it stated that Zayne did gave MC permission to overstep his boundaries by pursing his lips, giving permission MC to touch his skin.
- every convo during this part is Zayne  flirting with MC and the boombayah happened and they took a nice nap-
Proof 10 :
Post sex nap convo between Zayne n MC shows how Zayne has changed as a person, his tone is very gentle and witty, clearly he's comfortable with her, and another clear sign of a healthy relationship. On this moment, Zayne starts up a topic about being open, and straightforward is very important to him, but MC revoked Zayne by saying he also isn't being transparent with her, Zayne kisses her forehead and said that he hates hearing things about her wellbeing from other people, it made him feel like an outsider. And the rest of the conversations is MC and Zayne giving each other reassurance regarding keeping each other safe and sound.
Now i'd like to mention a few things from Zayne's previous card, Snowy Serenity, and a few things from Zayne's Find Tobias' (Abyssal Chaos) coversations with MC.
That the main 2 problems within Zayne and MC's relationship are :
1. Zayne is really bad at letting people hear what they wanted to hear even if it's to give the other person a sense of security, he sometimes a bit too blunt and too honest, but he's willing to work it out. This was also briefly mentioned on the Heartwork Routine Event.
2. Zayne and MC is struggling to be alot more open with each other because they don't want to worry their partner.
On Abyssal Chaos MC said that Zayne has changed by being more bold and flexible with her. Shown how much he's being alot more confident in engaging PDA.
The pattern with them is they both need something impactful and intimate to be able to open up. On Snowy Serenity Zayne was missing. And on Hidden Motive MC was injured. But after that theres an improvement between their relationship as the intimacy gave them a safe space to be open to one and another.
The Zayne hate on TikTok mainly focuses on how they said Zayne is turning into another wattpad boy and everything is OOC, but from the proofs i have stated above clearly i dont agree with that because i see it as Zayne and MC are both working out their relationship, and Zayne is constantly working himself up to be a better person who is willing to communicate.
The crowd on TikTok are blaming Infold and Sylus for "dragging" Zayne into another Wattpad based character while, again, I think Zayne character development is very well written, i don't feel like this card is fanservice-y, even though this whole game is a fanservice, i get it, it's one of the selling point of an otome game.
The thing with Zayne being bolder when it comes to intimacy shows on how much MC already trusts him, and how he has become very comfortable with her, Zayne is the type of person who has a habit of bottling his emotions, even though he got praised by almost everyone for his incredible self control. But Zayne on this timeline is a normal human being with physical - spiritual needs and emotions, not a demigod, not a mythical creature. Zayne himself has a breaking point considering how much restraint, yearning, has been closed of from affections he already been trough growing up. AND him letting loose his self control and lowering his guard down is not an incredibly OOC act, in fact most of the time initiated the intimate acts as shown on his previous cards, once MC flags up her green flag he took the lead.
Plus, this is a relationship is between two consenting adults. Everyone can tell this isn't the first time they engage in intimate / sexual activity.
As time goes by and the story progresses obviously we're going to see changes, and process within the characters. Zayne is not a block of wood and he is not an exception. Blaming Sylus and Infold writter for this is also not a solution, even Sylus himself is not a typical wattpad / booktok CEO. Though, again in otome games it's very common to have tropes between the love interest and the protagonist. I just hope the hate on Zayne stops, because i honestly enjoys his character writing. Same with the TikTok community hate on Xavier saying he gr00med MC, and saying Caleb is into inc3st relationship, i don't even understood how the mischaracterization on the boys are so severe on TikTok it's kind of sad.
Infold writers incorporates so many linguistics and cultural reference that's also a shame it's not translated well enough to the EN sub and dub so often times people missed their opportunity to understand why the card title is "Hidden Motive".
Ending statement from me is that i wish many players would do their own indepth reading and understanding before making a misleading scene on social media, this is why sometimes a certain fandom / community can't have nice things because of their own fandom and actions can lead to a train of hate and misconceptions regarding the game and our boys.
Proofs exhibit below
I highly suggest to watch the whole card on EN dub and other language dub (on this case its JP dub) as a comparison because the underlying contexts on some of the sentences are different.
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fandomxo00 · 7 months
Text
You being Peter and Wanda's mom - Erik Lehnsherr - X-men Days Of Future Past
PLEASE GO READ MY PINNED POST!
*originally posted on my old account that I've deleted*
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warnings: unedited, mature context, time passing, angsty, using google translation for Czech-
word count: 2.9k
Erik used to admire you. You remember when you first met him, he practically adored you. He wanted everything to with you, would pull aside, grabbing your attention and making you feel what he was feeling. As an empath, that wasn't hard to read his emotions and with you he always wore his heart on his sleeve. But the difference between you and Erik were the fact that you were different types of mutants. He was an active one, all powerful. And you had inactive traits that wouldn't be conducive in battle. That didn't mean Erik didn't drag you on missions, to not only read feelings of others but to control them so Erik could get what he wants. That's what drew the two of you apart, his evil his plans, they scared you, especially when you discovered you were pregnant. You refused to tell him, especially since you knew the infatuation he had with you was only for a short while. He wouldn't love you and he never could, especially if he found out the truth.  
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You wouldn't know how he felt now, it had been 25 years since the first time you had seen him, and you've had two kids since then. Peter had began harnessing his powers, it started out from a young age of having a diagnosis of ADHD, though you knew it was something different, that it was his powers were the reason why he couldn't control his behavior and he to always be moving or talking. You don't know how you didn't break apart in front of him the next time you saw him. You had finally taken a night off for yourself when you saw him again at a bar. You felt the immediate rush of affection and lust that radiated off of Erik, because of course you felt him before you could actually see him. You had been stupid enough to turn towards him a seductive smile on your face as you met his blue eyes.
"Long time no see." You greeted.
"How awful it has been, liebling." He countered, you rolled your eyes at the pet name and moved your eyes towards him as you spoke in Sokovian.
"Nemůžu říct, že bych byl naštvaný tvou nepřítomností." (I can't say I'm upset by your absence) Erik chuckled at your retort, he wasn't fluent in Sokovian but he had gotten used to the language and picked up the language easily.
"Nelži." (Don't lie).
"You've always been so full of yourself." You added, throwing back your drink. Banter was dangerous for you and Erik, it always led to fights and fights usually led to sex, which in that night, had happened. Peter had stayed with your mother as Erik brought you to meet Charles and the rest of the mutants. Charles had never meant an empath, so he wanted to know more, that's when he found out the truth, digging into your mind with your permission. You did your best not to think of your son, but that wasn't how Charles powers worked and he had asked Erik to leave the room as he brought your son in conversation.
"I think you should go. Your son needs you." "Will you take care of him?"
"Erik doesn't need my protection." Charles retorted. You stared over at him, not using your powers but wearing your heart on your sleeve.
"He would make a good father, it's not right for you to keep this from him."
The guilt has sunk into you, clung onto you like a cancer. Erik had crawled into your bed that night and the two of you made love before you left. You wonder if you were the reason why Erik had done what he had done to Charles, but you knew that deep down that was a part of him no matter what you could've done. You've never tried to stop. him.
A couple months later you discovered you were pregnant again and as you saw Erik fall apart in front of everyone, killing the president and being taken away and captive. For once you finally felt like you had nothing to hide but as Peter grew his powers became more evident as he sped around the house when he was too excited. Your daughter, Wanda, had different powers. When she was young, you gave her a ruby necklace after you first came in contact with the younger girl's power. She was strong, maybe even stronger than her father. You eventually learned that her she had been born with the ablitiy to control chaos magic.
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Though she had a dark power like her father, she was a sweet and caring girl, where her old brother focused on the go-go, Wanda was able to stop for a moment taken in her surroundings and adapt, she paid attention and she cared so deeply about those around her. But now it had been another 11 years, you were older and Peter and Wanda had grown up. Peter was now 22 years old, and you couldn't believe the reminders of his father in him. He had made the basement his own, and you wondered where he was during the day but one day when you went down to talk to your son you noticed the plentra of snacks, tvs and different things that Peter had 'collected' with his powers.
So you weren't suprised when yet again someone came looking for your reckless son. You opened the door to greet the strangers, one tall man with a beard and sunglasses, another man with glasses who was slightly taller than the bearded man, and a who was shorter than both with long hair-it was, "Charles?" You greeted.
"Y/n Maximoff." Charles chuckled, he looked much more dishelved since the last time you had seen him. He hadn't shaved, he was wearing sunglasses over his eyes and the shirt he was wearing was stained and uncleaned, this wasn't the Charles Xavier you had met over a decade ago. He pushed up his classes with his middle finger and looked over to the taller boy, regonizing him as Hank.
"We uh, need to talk to your son."
"What did he do this time?" You questioned.
"Nothing, we just-."
"We have to break Erik out of the pentagon, and we need his-your son's help." You glared over at Charles before turning to the taller man and the man with sunglasses sighing. You felt something odd radiating off of the man with sunglasses, his face expressed maybe annoyance or that he didn't care but his aura and emotions, he was desperate.
"Come on in." You moved back, letting the three of them in. Wanda came wondering over, her hair was red like her fathers and it made the man with the sunglasses pause in his place as he cleared his throat.
"Wanda, why don't you go to your room."
"Why?" She asked.
"Because we have to have an adult conversation and I don't trust that you won't listen in." You replied, putting your hands on your hips.
"Fine." You grumbled, as she walked into her room, red magic flowed through the air and closed the door gently.
"She's a mutant, aswell?" Charles questioned.
"Yes, she has the natural ability to control chaos magic." You answered before opening the door to Peter's room.
"Pete, we have company." You yelled down the stairs and moments later there was a quick woosh, barely noticeable but you knew your son. You trudged down the stairs and you were met your son playing Ping Pong, as if he hadn't run out to check out their car. "Peter, this is Charles, Hank and..."
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"Logan." He replied, taking off his sunglasses, as Peter wooshed around the air, still listening to your words but he still loved to move.
"You know them? Because I didn't do anything." Peter defeneded, as he continued to play ping pong, before moving over to the couch with a popsicle in his hand. "I've been here all day, right ma?"
"Just relax, Peter. We're not cops." Logan replied as Peter glared at him, his arms up around his head to defend nonchalance but you couldn't feel his defenses coming up.
"Of course you're not cops. If you were cops, you wouldn't be driving a rental car." Peter explained.
"How'd you know we've got a rental car?" Xavier asked.
"His ability is speed." You began to explain as Peter groaned. "I'm assuming he went out to go check your registration."
"You can't just tell people that mom." Peter argued as you rolled your eyes.
"I know Charles, he-we go back..."
"Did you know my dad?" Peter questioned. "Are you FBI?" He zoomed across the room, stealing Charles' wallet. "Nope, you're not cops. Hey what's with this gifted youngsters place?"
"That's an...old card." Charles trailed, as he grabbed his things from where Peter threw them down.
"Why, he's fascinating." Hank commented.
"He's a pain in the arse." Grumbled Charles.
"And when I knew him, he wasn't so...young. Neither were you." He nodded towards you.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh our dear friend Logan here is from the future and we need your son to break someone out of jail so he can help us destroy a massive threat to our future." Charles explained.
"What are you talking about?" Peter laughed.
"So you're not afraid to show your powers?" Hank questioned.
"We usually don't hide our powers around the hou-" You started.
"Powers? What powers? What are you talking about?" Peter interrupted. "Do you see something strange here? Nothing anybody would believe if you told them."
"Peter." You grunted, as he his big brown eyes looked over at you with innocence. "Did you hear a word I said?"
"Yes, why should I help them? A prison break is illegal, you know." "Because that's the first illegal thing you've done." You retorted.
"You, you kleptomanic..." Charles began rubbing at his eyes. "Get to break into the Pentagon."
"And he happens to be your father, Peter, and Wanda's."
"I knew it." Hank breathed.
"So you can trust them, Peter."
"Are you coming with, Ma?" Peter replied as you started to chuckle shaking your head.
"You don't need me, I'm not like them or your sister. I'll just be in the way."
"Don't you wanna see him?" Charles asked, as you looked over at him, a serious look overcoming your face as you looked down before shaking your head.
"I've hidden two children from him, like he'd want to see me." You joked.
"I know he would, when you left." Charles began as you looked over at the dishelved man. "He knew."
"About?"
"Wanda." You stared at Charles before speaking.
"Well since you're breaking him out, if he wants to come see us, he can, he could've before too." You cleared your throat before glancing over at Peter and giving him a nod before walking up the stairs. You tried not to drown in your memories as Peter went out to help his father. You knew that this would do some healing for him, so you encouraged him to go. It was your fault that they didn't know their father, but you wouldn't blame it completely on yourself especially since he knew about Wanda. You and Erik tried to keep the relationship surface level, but in all truth, you had fallen in love with Erik. It had started with friendship, the two of joining arms and when it came to the mission in Cuba, you had left with him, leaving Charles behind. You weren't going to stay for some false sense of being good, as you've watch mutants flee back into the shadows you knew that Charles plans were just a pipe dream.
You remember the day on the beach like it was yesterday, you had been crouching over a broken Charles, tears streaming down his face, his legs now paralyzed. As a friend, you wanted to stay, but as Erik caught your attention, "Come with us, Liebling." His voice soft as he looked over at you, you felt his rush of emotions, the only thing you could've described it as was love as you left your friend for Erik. At this point, he had to know that you were pregnant, a big reason why he kept you out of the line of fire, telling you to stay where it was safe.
Looking back now you had thought it was because of your powers but it could've been protecting you for more than one reason. But it was impending conversation where he told you that he couldn't have you, that he wouldn't ever feel the way you wanted him to, that you were too good for him. You had argued, telling him that it didn't matter who was better, you didn't have expectations for this relationship you just wanted to be with him. But the reality had sat in, when you thought of your son at home. You thought of the comparisons, the stubbornness, the knowledge that the two had, the good that you found in both of them. But thinking of Erik as a father, it was role now that he clearly hadn't wanted.
"Mom, who were those men here?" Wanda broke you out of your thoughts, making you look over at daughter. You could read the curiousness coming off your daughter. "Where's Peter?"
"You remember when I would tell you stories about your pa?" You murmured, as she came over to you as you reached your arm out for her. She sat in your arm and looked up at you.
"I do."
"Well, your brother is going to go save him." You said, smiling over at her. You moved your hand down to move your red hair behind her ear with a fond smile on your face. The two of you continue to talk about her father, telling stories about mischievous adventures that brought smiles to your girl's face.
Eventually she fell asleep in your arms. You laid her down on couch draping a blanket over her before grabbing a book and settling on the armchair, waiting for Peter. You'd usually go to bed if he was out, he was an adult now, but this was a mission that could send Peter to jail. Not that you didn't believe him that's why you supported him so much in this, you knew he had the ability and strategy that would get out just about any mess.
You had fallen asleep reading your book when you heard the lock in the door. You sat up in your chair and blinked back the tiredness from your eyes before getting up from the chair. Peter walked through the door and you immediately ran up to him and squeezed him tightly. "You're okay."
"Of course I'm fine ma, it's me." Peter joked as he wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly.
"Liebling."
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You froze in your son's arms, before moving back and connecting your eyes with Erik Lehnsherr's blue ones. "Erik." You breathed, moving around him before looking back at Peter. "Did you-."
"He uh figured it out."
"Charles told me." Erik corrected, his accent thick and making a shiver run down your spine.
"So that's what your doing here?" You questioned as Erik looked over at Peter before stepping forward into the house. His eyes trailing around the room before landing back on to you. "Your here for the kids."
"Yeah, I'm here to meet my daughter."
"Good, but you'll have to come back, she's asleep."
"Ma-."
"No, it's the middle of night, thanks for escorting Peter home." "You don't get to push me out again, Y/n." Erik agrued, his voice raising as you glared over at him. "I have a right to meet her."
"Peter take your sister to her room, please." You murmured over to your son, glancing over at him with stern gaze before looking back over at Erik. "You've known about her for 11 years, Erik."
"I didn't know about Peter, it's been over two decades and we managed to make another child and you couldn't tell me about him." "You wanted nothing to do with me!" You agrued. "You got bored and you left."
"I was never enough for you, Y/n. For an empath, you clearly have no idea how I feel about you."
"I don't like reading your emotions anymore, last time it hurt-." You started, looking down at the ground. "I could feel that you were rejecting me and I don't want to feel that ever again."
"You know that they were better off without me."
"But I wasn't!" You cried. "I was alone in raising two children and I tried to take pride in it. When I heard you killed the president of the United States, I-I couldn't believe what you done, and I knew that I made the right decision." Erik's eyes flashed in hurt, and he stared you, begging you to read him, but you refused. "Don't you have the world to save?"
"Well, if you care about your children's future, you'll leave." You propositioned. Erik stared at you, not sure what to say before stepping closer to you and leaning down to cup your cheeks in his hands. You stared at him in awe, unable to move away as you looked up into his eyes.
"I'll leave now, Liebling, but I'm coming back and I'm giving you life you deserve, do you understand?"
"Erik-."
"No. Do you understand?"
You nodded.
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fangirl-dot-com · 7 months
Text
Certified Lovers
what is this?? two posts in a day?? how crazy, sorry this is short
I'm also sorry I'm late for valentines day - I was too busy crying from being alone but I wanted to do at least a little something
be warned: horny kids on the main and twitter blows up
happy (belated) valentines day guys! love you all
y/n.jpg has posted
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y/n.jpg so it's not gonna be easy, it's gonna be really hard. and we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you, forever. you and me, everyday
liked by maxverstappen1, y/n.nation, box_box_express, and 109,204 others
y/n.nation this just called me single in multiple different languages
rookies_secretbf everyday
boxbox_nightmare SUSPICIOUS???? y/n&co this CANNOT BE THE BF'S BURNER ACCOUNT??
charles_leclerc when did he get that shirt?
y/n.89 I bought it for him btw maxverstappen1 why? y/n.89 cause it's cute (I also got ones for Alex and Kelly too)
y/n_on_top oh my gosh the beach picture??
rookie_lover THE NOTEBOOK QUOTE - I'M CRYING
thurthur_leclerc why do I kinda feel bad for Arthur :/
y/nxarthur CAUSE THEY WERE END GAME AND THIS MF TRYNNA BREAK THEM UP f1fan chilllll they were never together in the first place - besides I don't think that he even has a girlfriend
arthur_leclerc has posted
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arthur_leclerc you have bewitched me, body and soul...and I love you. I never wish to be parted from you, from this day on
liked by f1fan, logansargeant, oscarpiastri, babyleclerc, and 230,204 others
f1fan I may have spoke too soon
babyleclerc ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? THE PICTURES?? THE AESTHETIC??? THE HAND PLACEMENTS????
fan_all_around THE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE QUOTE?? HELLO??
maxverstappen1 glad you took her out. I know you can't cook
arthur_leclerc show some love please? it is valentines day after all?? maxverstappen1 no.
leclerc_bros sheeeshhhh no need to be horny on the main - no one is gonna take her
his_love all yours
box_box_express SUSPICIOUS
f1 happy valentines day!
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TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19 @lizzypiastri
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Text
He can't hurt anyone
Self-Aware! BSD x SAGAU Imposter crossover
Self-Aware! Saigiku Jouno x GN! Reader
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Description: In Creator's Cathedral of the Mondstadt found a helpless blind man was found. There is no way said man can hurt anyone.
Warning: OOC. English is my second language. Mentions of torture. Non-descriptive violence. Mentions of killing. Mentioning of fanatism. Jounou is a protective yandere(ish)
Sequel to For your safety
_____
From diary of Guy, New Cathedral Captain of the Holy Knights of Mondstadt
~~~~~~
I
Creator's Cathedral of Mondstadt is a holy place. Everyone can find help and sanctuary here. If you're a pure at heart, believe in Blessed Creator and haven't sinned, you can come here and ask for help.
Beggars and homeless, sick and healthy, can find help here.
Tomorrow I will become a Captain of Cathedral's guards. I can't find wait!
It will be much more interesting, then guarding the northern side gate.
I wish father would see me. If only he wasn't cursed by Impostor's lies.
~~~~~~
II
I love my new title. Other guards respect me. I have become someone.
The Cathedral is beautiful.
I even noticed an afterglow inside the Cathedral through the day.
There are many beggars in the Cathedral. Some of them live on Cathedral grounds.
They are quiet. They either pray for All-Creator or share stories about Dreaded Imposter.
This thing is still talked about. Some stories are quite amusing to hear about.
Tomorrow, Their Holiness will visit the Cathedral.
There will be more beggars.
And I will make sure, that no one will hurt Creator.
~~~~
III
Creator are magnificent. Truly magnificent. Perfect in every way. Without any flaws inside or outside.
The visit went fine. The new beggar was allowed to live in the Cathedral.
A young man. The man has white hair with red tips, he was dressed in rugs. He wore an earring with a small bell attached to it. And he is blind. Milky-white eyes, with a hint of reddish iris, lacked the pupil. Man was starring in the nothingness. He didn't pay attention to anything around him.
Their Holiness stepped closer to the blind man. Creator spoke. Their voice sounded magnificent. As it should be.
"My poor dear creation, you must be starving. Come with me. I will order giving you a warm bath, a warm meal and a new home."
The blind man raised his head. And reached his hand towards Creator.
And Their Holiness ordered to take a blind man with them.
I am not even worry about this one. A blind person can't hurt anyone.
The lucky bastard was hugged by an All Creator. Their Holiness are so kind!
___________
When you disappeared two months ago, Jouno felt lost. No matter, how hard he looked for you, he couldn't find you. You have disappeared without a trace.
For a whole month he and others were searching. Skipping lunches, without sleeping. They were looking for you.
Jouno remembered, how kids were crying in their pillows all night.
One month of search, tears and darkness passed.
And you finally returned home.
Tortured. Starving. Scared.
Almost shattered.
*******
Mouth has passed after your return.
There were no scars on your body, thanks to Doctor Yosano.
You weren't hungry anymore.
But you still were shattered.
Always quiet. Scared of looking anyone in the eyes.
You had nightmares every night. Jouno heard your screaming or crying. Begging to be let go. Begging to be left alone.
And every night all of them would go to your room. To held you close. To calm you down. To assure you, that they weren't sleeping, and you didn't wake them up.
But, no matter, how many nightmares you have had, you never spoke about where you were and what happened to you.
Jouno felt, that you wanted to open up to them. But you couldn't. You were afraid. Terrified.
*******
And then, Capitano came here, to look for you.
*******
Saigiku Jouno was thinking. He was playing with his earring, and a small bell was jingling.
There were a man in the basement. Capitano. But, Jouno agreed with Tetchou, and called it a different name.
An abomination, that dared to hurt and scared you.
Hunting Dogs and Doctor Yosano just finished interrogating it. And Jouno didn't like what they have learned.
They broke the news to others.
Lovecraft left for a few minutes. He wanted to check the barn. Maybe, there was something else here. Something, that would hurt you.
Fyodor Dostoevsky and Dazai Osamu were whispering to each other. They spoke in some kind of code, and Jouno wasn't interested in trying to decipher it.
Captain Fukuchi, Mori and Fukuzawa were discussing what to do with Capitano, who still was in the basement, chained, with his limbs amputated.
Everyone was discussing with someone what to do next.
All conversations came to an end, when Lovecraft returned. He was holding a bucket, full of water. Jounou heard, that some sort of fish was swimming in it.
Steinbeck, who was standing next to the door, take a look at the fish. He raised his eyebrows.
"Where did you find this fish? I have never seen a fish like this."
Lovecraft put a bucket on the floor and answered.
"On the other side of the portal. In Teyvat."
Well, isn't it just great? They have a portal in a barn. Portal, that leads to the world, where His Firefly was tortured.
Dazai and Fyodor looked at each other. They exchanged a few more coded sentences. Dazai spoke, talking to everyone.
"Gave Fyodor and I a day or two. And we will have a plan. A plan, how to make them all pay..."
*******
That's how Jouno get here. He volunteered to spy on one of the Cathedrals. To understand this strange faith better.
_____
IV
Today was a nice day. Nothing strange has happened. Except for one incident.
The blind one, Jouno, fall into the compost pit we had in a Cathedral's fruit garden. What a klutz.
_____
Jouno's senses betrayed him. He couldn't focus on anything else, besides this horrible smell.
The stink, that came from "Creator".
This thing was hideous. Jouno wanted to puke, when they came near him. And almost thrown up, when it hugged him. Only a strong stomach and an ability to control himself didn't let him do it.
To cover that smell, Jouno jumped into the compost pit and now was taking a bath. The water was hot, almost boiling. He scrubbed his skin raw. To get rid of Creator's filth.
He tried to focus his thoughts on you.
On your heartbeat. On the sound of your breathing. They sound like a music to his ears.
On your scent. You always carry around a sweet aroma. It reminds Jouno of fresh fruits.
On your warmth. On nights you spend cuddling each other. On movie nights, when you were sandwiched between him and Tetchou. When your head was on his chest, and he can feel you near him.
Jouno sighs.
He should focus on finding new information.
He hoped, that it won't take much time.
_____
V
Today we had a visitor.
Kaeya Alberich, Calvary Captain of the Holy Knights of Mondstadt, visited the Cathedral. He was pleased with my job as a Captain.
Captain Kaeya brought gifts from Creator. With guards, he shared a few drinks. And some stories. My favorite one was about Captain Kaeya's involvement in punishing Dirty Sinner.
The alcohol made me see things. I saw the afterglow again. At night.
____
"Tell you about an Imposter? Why not. It was the day before their execution. The good people of Mondstadt did their best in showing Imposter it's place. But, there were one thing I couldn't stand. It still has two eyes. So, I came to them, took a dagger, and..."
_____
Jouno's blood boiled. He left the room, guards were in, and returned to a room he was allowed to stay. He deactivated his ability.
Doctor Yosano was the only one, who knew, what scars and wounds you had, when you returned. Jouno could only smell your blood, heard your weak heartbeat.
He wanted to learn about your injuries. So he can infect them on them.
But, Doctor Yosano refused to tell any details about your wounds.
And now, Jouno realized, why.
He wanted to do something.
Good thing, he hid some knives, before his mission truly started.
_____
VI
Two guards were found dead. They were disemboweled and left to lay on a throne, Creator sat on during their visits.
I don't understand, who could do this. None other guard have noticed anything suspicious.
Did someone from the inside did it?
We look through everyone's belongings. Search all rooms.
Nothing.
We couldn't find even the single clue.
~~~~~~
VII
Three sisters were found dead.
The room they were found was closed.
From the inside.
There's no logical explanation.
It would be impossible for a human to do this.
And who would dare to soil holly place!
Maybe, an Abyss Order isn't that loyal to Creator?
~~~~~~
VIII
Creator called for me. They are worried about what is happening in the Cathedral.
I accused Abyss Order.
The only reason I wasn't torn to shreds by an Abyss Lector was Their Holiness.
I am alive.
I am not a Captain anymore.
... two more corpses were found...
~~~~~~~
IX
Another corpse. Eights one this week. Still, nothing suspicious has happened. No one walked in, no one walked out.
Captain Kaeya has arrived. He will take over duties.
Interrogated everyone. Look through everyone's stuff.
Nothing suspicious.
Didn't bother to look through Jouno's stuff. He is harmless.
~~~~~~
XIX
Killer can't be stopped. They can get even in closed doors.
How? Why?
We didn't do anything wrong!
We are good people! We believe in Creator!
We have punished Dirty....
/The rest of the page is soaked in blood/
_____
Up. Down. Left. Up. Right. Down...
Two swords clashed again and again.
Kaeya's breathing was hard. He was tried.
Yet, he can't even land one hit on Jounou. Blind man was a skilled fighter. And he managed to dodge every Cryo attack.
Jouno was playing with Kaeya.
The Cathedral behind them was burning. Jounou wasn't attacking. He was only blocking Kaeya's attacks. Kaeya growled.
"Where did you come from, demon? How dared you to soil the holy land?"
Jouno didn't answer. He blocked the next hit.
'I am not a demon. I am a soldier. Besides, Fyodor won't like me taking his title.'
Up. Left. Up. Down. Right. Up. Left. Right. Kick. Cryo. Up. Down.
A loud shattering sound.
Kaeya didn't realize, that he got too close to the Cathedral. The same moment, the stained-glass window (the main decoration of the façade) shattered due to the heat. Glasses fell on Kaeya and Jouno.
Both became disorientated for a moment.
And Jouno recovered first.
______
Kaeya can't move.
His legs were pierced by Jouno's sword.
Jouno was sitting on Kaeya's chest. He had a dagger in his hands.
"Listen, to what I will say, Captain. Look at me, Captain. Scream, Captain. It is the last time you will see, hear or talk, Captain."
Jouno pointed a dagger at Kaeya's mouth.
_____
"Their name is [Y/N]. They are the kindest person in the world. They are interesting to talk with. We love to spend time with them. Yes, they aren't perfect. They aren't fake as this thing you put on a throne. They are real. They have faults. Sometimes we argue. But we will always make up. And we will burn everyone, who dared to touch them."
______
Jouno left Kaeya at the Cathedral's remains.
It was time for him to return home.
After getting his backpack, full of stolen holy texts and fruits he picked up in the wild, Jouno was on his way to the sea shore.
Lovecraft was waiting for him.
Together they will get back to the portal.
_____
You heard loud stomping sounds behind you. The next moment, a pair of hands hugged you from behind. Jouno pick up a habit to be loud, when he approaches you. He didn't want to scare you.
"Hello. I missed you, My Firefly."
You tilted your head slightly and rubbed your nose against Jouno's cheek.
"Hi... Are you okay?"
Jouno nodded.
"I am. Don't worry. Up for some Bulle Fruits, Apples and Sunsettias?"
You nodded and let Jouno lead you to the kitchen.
"I will do anything for your safety. Even if it means to do something drastic."
_____
In the next few weeks, near Creator's Shrine of Liyue a blind man was found.
A harmless blind man named Jouno.
______
Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz
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cranberryjuice-posts · 7 months
Note
GIRLIE I LOVED YOUR ATHENA DAUGHTER READER ‼️
also guess who’s back can i ask for a athena!daugter reader where it’s kinda like Annabeth trying to tell the reader that “hey clarisse is bad she tried to fucking kill percy she’s evil” and the reader us kinda tries to convince her that Clarisse really isn’t that bad😔
(i love your work girl and your end memes please do more 🔥‼️)
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She’s the only one I got
Pairings - Clarisse La rue x daughter of Athena reader
An- fun-fact clarisse loves Dr Pepper It’s cannon Go read the sea of monsters. She’s literally perfect I can’t
An pt 2 - I Hope this is ok i wasn’t really sure what to write but it’s ok bc I’m just a girl
Pt 1 — Pt 2
Palestine aid link
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“Are you serious?!” Annabeth yelled, a few of your other siblings backing her up.
You however were standing infront of the full length mirror inside your cabin fixing your outfit which was a pair of bellebottoms and a camp sweater. “Look Annie i get your our counselor and your the smartest out of us all but your not the smartest when it comes to relationships”
“And now she’s starting to sound like an Aphrodite kid” Malcom your brother rolled his eyes before returning to his book. You shot him a hateful look. “All right fine Your right I don’t get relationships like you but I do know clarisse”
“Really?” You sarcastically spoke just wanting the argument to be over. Grabbing some hoops you were deciding between the two different pairs. “Yeah, Clarisse is a hateful arrogant and rude person. She makes fun of our cabin with her siblings and didn’t she use to make fun of you to”
Deciding on the star shape hoop you put the earring in. “Fine! Fine ok I get it but I promise you clarisse is not like that ok she’s sweet, she loves me Annie why don’t you get that” you sighed facing your sister.
The shorter girl crossed her arms, leaning against a desk inside the studious cabin. “Because she’s a bitch”
“Language!”
“I’m 12 why are you giving me shit for cussing you cuss”
“Because I’m 16 you’ve still got two years before you morally can curse now stop.. damn about to make me get Luke” you sighed shaking your head. Facing back to the mirror you analyzed your look.
Annabeth rolled her eyes looking away for some time before facing you once again. “I still don’t trust you being alone with her..”
After finally having enough you turned towards the wiser girl. “Know what fine you can spy on us during our date today, then you’ll see she’s not such a terrible person and you’ll finally get off my ass… deal” you crossed your arms looking down at annabeth.
Your younger sister looked around for a moment feeling somewhat threatened by you before nodding in defeat. “Great” you sighed stepping back, grabbing a small drawstring bag and a book on the stars, you threw on your shoes before leaving.
——
You were sitting in a clearing in the woods, a blanket set out with some strawberries and a pack of Dr Pepper you bought from the Hermes cabin. Annabeth was positioned behind a tree with her cap of invisibility on.
Eventually clarisse showed up. “Five minutes late” you jokingly chastised her.
“Shut up I’m on time” she scoffed sitting down beside you on the blanket. Pulling you into her some she kissed you softly. Her hands finding themselves on your waist
Bringing yourself back you leaned over grabbing a soda, handing it over to the curly haired girl. “Mmhm so how was running around like a fool for the entire morning?”
Clarisse rolled her eyes taking the drink In a harsh joking manner. “First of all its called training and secondly it was actually alot of fun, how was staying up all night to just watch some stupid dots in the sky”
Scrunching your nose at the girl you gave her a sarcastic look. “Yeah you think your so funny huh”
“Yeah I do”
“Mmhm” you knew clarisse was looking at your lips— she wasn’t subtle about it. Tired of her just imagining it you leaned in kissing her again. The playful banter between you two faded away while clarisse deepened the kiss
As much as you wanted to makeout with your girlfriend you weren’t doing it infront of your sister. Pulling back you placed a hand on clarisses arm while darting your eyes to some trees around you with a smile.
The girl furrowed her eyebrows but made a signal to her head almost mimicking a hat. Nodding you knew clarisse understood annabeth was spying on you two.
“Whatever this is stupid” clarisse gave you a teasing look. “What being on a date with your girlfriend? Yeah it’s so stupid” you responded in the same tone.
Clarisse rolled her eyes. “You know that’s not. What I meant” shaking her head you watched as clarisse reached over to her spear grabbing a plastic bag.
Handing it over to you you looked inside. “No way clarisse did you”
“Yeah I did. Your not gonna embarrass me about it if I own up to it” she continued to mess with you. Opening the bag you smiled as your girlfriend made you chocolate chip cookies with the nymphs in the kitchen. “Your the sweetest you know” you becoming flustered while you looked at the treats.
She just rolled her eyes with a smile, laying down clarisse moved around to lay her head in your lap. “Woah careful clarisse you might admit you actually like me a boring Athena kid remember”
“Mmhm Same can be said about you what was that about me being a bitchy ares kid?” She bit back. Flicking her forehead lightly just to get back at her.
You smiled while playing with one of the girls curls. You loved clarisse, wanting to proudly say it but worried you’d scare the girl off so for now you’d settle on just this.. cute dates with her, sneaking into her cabin to spend the night with her and just enjoying the silence with her.
After some time you knew annabeth had left after all she had gotten all the proof she needed. Clarisse knew it to.
“I love you” it finally left your lips. You noticed clarisses body tense making you regret the decision immediately. Clarisse however grabbed your hand kissing your knuckles. “I guess I love you to”
“Shut up”
“Why You Said you loved me”
——
Annabeth - Fine she’s not a bitch
Y/n - ANNABETH!
Clarisse - *having a Stare off with annabeth*
Clarisse - do we have a Problem
Y/n - dude..
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sandwhitches · 2 months
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✦ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: a love story told through peaches
✦ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, childhood best friends to lovers
✦ 𝐜𝐰: language, tiny bit of angst in places if you squint, kissing/making out, mutual pining, fem. reader (one mention of “girlfriend”), reader has a mother
✦ 𝐚/𝐧: inspired by the poem “From Blossoms” by Li-Young Lee (which is just a beautiful piece, do read it if you find the time!) randomly decided i wasn’t allowed to sleep until i finished this fuck ass thing so enjoy i guess. if it’s really bad i wouldn’t know i read over it once and hit post, so i humbly apologize if this is word vomit.
✦ 𝐰𝐜: 3.1k
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It first happened in 2000, the fresh spoils of summer weighed down on skinny branches of the tree they had grown on, perfect for little hands to pluck. At the base of its trunk, you sat cross-legged, crunching into a perfectly ripe peach for the very first time that summer.
That day, as you remember it, was intended to be spent with a pout; after all, your mother had dropped you off for the day with your new neighbors to run errands, leaving you with two identical makeshift playmates you couldn’t say you were too fond of. 
Atsumu is the oldest twin, but he’s an inch shorter than his brother Osamu, which confuses you. Aren’t you supposed to be taller when you’re older? They’re both more interested in roughhousing than skipping rope or coloring, they bicker over small things, and they smell too much like the outdoors. From the first five minutes at the Miya household, you decided you were not going to enjoy it.
Osamu found you crouched in the living room, dejectedly pushing one of their toy cars back and forth with a finger, counting as high as you could under your breath (about five-hundred until you ran out of steam.) 
“Whatcha doin’?” That’s another thing that initially unsettled you about them, the way they spoke. Their words came out lazier, much more different than any other kid or adult you’d met before moving to the Kansai region. If I spoke like that, you thought, I would probably be corrected.
 “Nothing.” You’d mumbled, too shy to look up at him. That didn’t seem to deter Osamu one bit, because that’s how you found yourself beneath the peach tree in their backyard, licking the sticky juice that had bled down your arm upon the first bite.
You’re a bit intimidated by Osamu, who had somehow managed to eat two peaches in the duration it took you to eat one, but you still keenly listened as he told you about how his grandmother planted that tree a long time ago. 
Atsumu was on the other side of the yard scowling, Osamu said it was because he didn’t like the way peach fuzz felt on his tongue.
By 2006, you’ve realized there’s more than one way to eat a peach, your favorite method as of that summer was the peach pie that the Miyas’ mom would make if you asked her really nicely.
Atsumu had since gotten over his personal grudge against peaches and Osamu probably liked them more than he did before. Neither of them would even think about eating a slice if it did not come with a generous dollop of vanilla ice cream on the side. You’re stuffed full after two helpings of dessert, hunched over in discomfort at their kitchen counter. 
It’s no surprise that Osamu was shuffling his fourth slice of the night onto his plate, fueled by an appetite unfathomable to most people but him. “There’s not gonna be any left if ya keep piggin’ out,” Atsumu hissed, slapping a palm flat on the counter; he was also hardly able to move after a full meal and then some, but he always found enough energy within himself to insult his brother. 
Osamu, who turned out to be the quieter of the twins, didn’t have a verbal rebuttal, but took a resolute bite that perfectly asserted a good enough response to piss his brother off. 
Your mother usually called an hour or so after sunset if you were still with the Miya twins, and during the summer, you were always with them. It was Osamu who walked you next door most nights, your pathway lit by flickery street lamps that swarms of bugs buzzed around, save for the cicadas that chirruped their nightly song in the bushes.
He was still a bit disgruntled after Atsumu had reached over and pushed him, leading them headfirst into an angry brawl on the linoleum floor of the kitchen. 
“Such an idiot,” Osamu muttered angrily under his breath to fill the silence, hands twitching in the pockets of his pants. You don’t tell him this, and you don’t really know why this is, but you think that might be the first time you realized you had a slight preference towards him.
 After all, out of the two of them, Osamu was the only one who didn’t complain when you changed the channel to the weekly showing of your favorite cartoon (a “girl cartoon” as Atsumu had put it with irritation laced in his voice), he was the one that knocked on your door in the mornings and asked your mom if you were up yet, and no matter how many new friends he made, he’d sit with you at lunch. 
In the winter of 2008, you coped with the seasonally baron peach tree with the light pink package you tore open on the floor of Osamu’s room.
You were long done with your homework for the day, Atsumu was avoiding his, and Osamu was scrabbling away at his desk with a look of dull boredom. You popped a peach gummy into your mouth. Sometimes you’d forget that if you walked from school with them in your backpack, the winter air would toughen up the candy, and make it harder to chew; surprisingly, you found it tasted better that way. 
Atsumu’s back was pressed against the floor, hands outstretched as he tossed a slightly deflated volleyball a few inches, caught it in the basket of his ten fingers, then pushed it back into the air. You watched him as he got testier with his limits, letting the ball drop closer and closer to his face until his fingers couldn’t stretch fast enough, and the ball bounces off of his forehead. 
In order to deflect his embarrassment, he turned to you, raising a brow, “Those don’t even taste like peaches.” Atsumu commented superfluously, knowing himself that it was a pointless thing to say.
He’s not very popular with the boys on his volleyball team because he does things like that, and Osamu told you with a look of concern that he doesn’t even care. You think you agree with Osamu, Atsumu is certainly annoying, but he isn’t necessarily unlikeable. 
Atsumu is blessed to have a brother like Osamu, who is most likely incapable of ever growing to dislike him. Not many people have such a degree of patience for him, and you suppose that’s why they’re brothers. 
Without a retort from you, he returned his attention to tossing the ball once more. 
Your eyes were drawn to a hand that reached over the seat. Splotches of ink stained the side of Osamu’s palm because he always wrote with a heavy hand. You grinned wordlessly and placed three candies into the center of his cupped palm, knowing he was going to ask for more once those are gone. 
That’s okay, you think, because Osamu is the only person you know who does not ask for you to share because he’s greedy, he asks because he simply likes to share. There’s no ulterior motive or impatience in the way he holds his hand out once more, only an eagerness to enjoy something with you. That, for a reason you’d been avoiding to confront over the past year, made your heart flutter like a caged bird. 
In 2011, you find yourself back where you started, criss-crossed under the peach tree beside Osamu as you enjoy the first bloom of the summer. You bite into the peach’s dusty skin, uncaring that the sweet juice dripped down your chin and collected at the corners of your mouth. Osamu rolled a pit around his hand after meticulously sucking the flavor left from it, he pressed his fingers into it until it made indents on the skin. 
You paused, wiping your face with the back of your forearm, “Somethin’ on your mind?” It had been a very long time since their accent had bled into your own tongue, and you never noticed it anymore. Osamu glanced up, eyes clouded over with thought, “Do ya think I’m boring?” 
The question surprised you. You couldn’t remember a time Osamu voiced an insecurity, in fact, you were beginning to enviously think that he didn’t have any. Boring? You wondered what could have brought that about. How long had he felt that way?
Since starting high school, you’d noticed an influx of opportunities for the twins to be compared. As far as popularity went, Atsumu had surprisingly climbed up the ranks the first month. In volleyball, no matter how great Osamu’s spikes were, Atsumu’s sets were always better. At home, they’d taken to rapid firing every grade they’d received in the past week until it was clear who was performing best, and Atsumu frequently took the cake.
On top of this, Atsumu was now one inch taller than Osamu. 
It’s almost funny, you thought to yourself, they’re not that much different than when they were younger. They still roughhouse and bicker and they still can’t be angry at each other for longer than five hours.
Both of them still consistently pulled off stupid stunts, the most recent one being the cheap boxed dye they purchased with the hope of having a shot at being two different people for once. 
Finally, you replied, “I don’t think that at all.” And you wished you had said more. 
Osamu, you thought that night as you replayed the memory, I think you’re anything but that. You’re funny, and you always think about other people…and I think you’re one of the nicest people I know. You buried your face into the pillow, groaning. If you’d managed to at least say half of that, maybe he would have smiled instead of looking away, nodding in disappointment. 
Your mom was frowning to herself in 2014 as she folded up your high school uniform and packed it into a cardboard box to be forgotten with the other relics from your childhood. You swallowed a lump in your throat as you handed her your school shoes, “You might wanna throw ‘em out, the soles are about to lift anyways.” You know she won’t. She’s sentimental. 
Later on that evening, you told Osamu all about it on the lawn chairs in their backyard, swatting off a mosquito that buzzed in your ear. The two of you had just returned from a midnight run to the convenience store, indulging in salty chips that made your mouth go dry, but were impossible to stop eating. Such an issue was easy to remedy with the juice of a peach, even though the nectar wasn’t as sweet.
A few months before, during January, Hyōgo was hit with the iciest winter storm in a while, leading to the unfortunate demise of the peach tree in their backyard. Atsumu was more than positive that the old friend would make a comeback, but come springtime, it did not blossom and remained a thin skeleton of rigid sticks.
Now you had to buy a peach if you wanted one. 
The convenience store peach was slightly overripe, but you supposed that beggars can’t be choosers. 
Osamu listened intently, his face hardly discernible in the dark. You two hadn’t meant to be up so late, but you often lost track of time these days, you noticed that it goes by so fast now that you’re older. 
“I’m scared,” your voice was shaky, tears threatening to spill for the umpteenth time that day. You didn’t want to go to sleep, because you knew in the morning you’d have to leave. It would end for the very first time. You tried very hard not to think about the bags all packed up in your room, and with such empty walls it was beginning to feel like it wasn’t even yours anymore.
 “What if I don’t like it?”
Osamu sighed quietly, setting the peach he held down to place a comforting hand on your knee, “Yer gonna do just fine, ya know that?” He mumbled quietly, and if he wasn’t touching you, you might have been able to consider what he was saying to a deeper extent. It’s easier said than done when you’ve already come to terms with the fact that you’re madly in love with someone you’re sure you shouldn’t be. 
“I know, but…I don’t want it to change…I don’t like not seein’ you.” 
Though you couldn’t witness it in the inky cast of twilight, something changed in his face, and you wouldn’t have had a clue had his next words not come out as strained as they did, “We’ll see each other durin’ breaks.” Osamu whispered, almost as if it was a reassurance for nobody but him.
That’s not enough. You’d been with Osamu every day for nearly the entire duration of your life, how could it only be rendered down to a few precious weeks a year? You couldn’t take it. The tears finally flowed freely down your cheeks, muffled noises of anguish pushed against your bitten lip. 
“Hey,” Osamu muttered hurriedly, calloused hand moving to cup the side of your face, he thumbed at a stray tear. “Nothing’s gonna change while yer gone…okay? We’ll all-…I’ll still be the same. I promise.”
“How can I know that?” You sniffled between sobs, unabashedly leaning into his touch. 
With everything to lose, but nothing else he wanted, Osamu leaned forward and pressed his face against yours, his lips tenderly grazed against your own in a rushed kiss. Upon remembering himself, Osamu pulled away swiftly, exhaling in disappointment. 
“Shit, I’m really sorry, I don’t-”
You cut him off in a desperate search of his lips once more in the dark, kissing him like you’ve been starved your whole life, finally allowed a meal just this once.
Up close, he smelled like the linens his mother used to hang in the backyard, the ones you weaved in between during clumsy games of tag that always ended in skinned knees and grass stains. Osamu’s lips felt like the succulent meat of a peach, soft and warm; they tasted of its nectar, not of the convenience store peach, but of the sweeter ones that used to grow in that very backyard. Osamu’s kiss was everything you’ve grown to love and everything you’ve yearned for. 
You pulled apart after awkwardly knocking foreheads one too many times, giggling mindlessly at the state the two of you were in. The hand on your knee squeezed tighter, and Osamu rested his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in. You wondered if you also smelled like the linens, like peach juice, if he could hear that your heartbeat sounded like the cicadas that sung to the two of you during your shared childhood summers. 
“When ya come back,” Osamu started quietly, “I promise I’ll still feel the same.”
It’s 2019 and you’re knackered, bored of watching the wooden posts that held up a barrier along the road go by, tired of the same playlist that’s been on loop all day, and yet you’re not even close to being sick of the man in the driver's seat. 
Osamu blinked at the road groggily, appearing to also be over the long haul through the mountains. 
“Remind me again why I moved?” He droned, readjusting his loose grip on the wheel as he took another turn that does not particularly help your developing carsickness. “Because you missed me?” You mused playfully, lolling your head to the side to watch his expression lighten up significantly. 
“I did, didn’t I?” 
It’d almost been a whole year since Osamu had gotten fed up with how little he got to see you, his girlfriend, and decided without hesitation that the perfect place for him to open up his restaurant would be in Osaka, only a few minutes away from your campus.
You’d since graduated, gotten an entry-level job with shitty hours and shittier pay, and found yourself a nice little apartment for the two of you to share. 
It would be your first summer returning to Hyōgo together.
Maybe it’s always been this way, though. You couldn’t remember a time in which you didn’t love Osamu, and similarly, you couldn’t remember a time where it didn’t feel like he loved you. It was always meant to happen this way. Things like kisses and passionate touch bloomed in time as the seasons turned, but the roots of his love had always been there since the beginning, digging deeper into you until it was your favorite way to live. 
You hummed in realization, bending over in your seat to grab something from the floor of the car, “Almost forgot about these.” 
Osamu peered back over at the sound of light rustling, eyes glinting with affection as you reached your hand into a brown paper bag, pulling out a peach. It was impossible for the two of you not to stop as you drove through one of the quaint small towns, a little boy sold the fruit from his family’s orchard beneath a hand painted wooden sign. 
You bought five peaches, each one large and solid in the palm of your hand, and you think you might have forgotten how much grocery store peaches pale in comparison to ones that were plucked from a tree that very morning.
 “When we get our own house-...” you started. A wry grin twisted on Osamu’s lips in response. 
The two of you liked to play this game, fantasizing about the distant future in which you’re able to settle down in the suburbs, far away from grumpy landlords and noisy upstairs neighbors.
You both had already lost track of half of the dreams you wished to fulfill, only able to barely recall the simple things like two dogs, a nicer oven, and dark green walls in the bedroom. 
Even though it’s a game, you hoped you didn’t forget this time. “Let’s plant a peach tree in the backyard.” 
Osamu laughed under his breath, but you can see a hint of nostalgic fondness bring warmth to his expression, “I dunno, yer gonna have to be in charge…I don’ really have a green thumb.” 
You’ve since taken a large bite of the peach, then passed it to him. Much to your amusement, Osamu only turned his face ever so slightly to eat it from your hand, eyes still carefully fixed on the road.
“I think I can do that,” you nodded, bringing the sweet fruit back to your lips again. If there’s one thing you end up doing in your make believe house, you hope it’s that. 
And there, in the comfortable silence of the car, you bask in an all too familiar feeling whilst enjoying your favorite thing to share: the fresh spoils of summer.
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snoopyliker · 4 months
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Here’s a translation of what Bagi said at the end of her stream.
Bagi: I really wanted to say that QSMP was an opportunity I’ve never had before in my life. Because I impeded myself from taking those opportunities, in the sense of communicating with other creators from countries. When I was a kid I learned and practiced a little bit of English but I never practiced after leaving school because I never had the opportunity and I ended up accepting that I’d never go back to speaking in English because I didn’t practice and if I needed to do it then I’d be shit because I wouldn’t be able to communicate. So when Cellbit spoke to me saying, “Look we really want you to participate in QSMP with us.” I said, “Dude, my communication with people from other countries is going to be very difficult.” And there he said, “You don’t need to worry the translator works really well.” And honestly the translator worked really well because it allowed me to not just communicate with people from various countries, in my own native language, but also allowed me to learn words & terms in other languages.
And I think that I learned a lot culturally speaking because various people from various countries could share their cultures. Which to me is something that is more valuable than anything else. We consume a lot from our own culture and what we see on TV but actually co existing with people from different cultures every day for various hours a day was very cool for learning many new things. I think that QSMP was an experience that wasn’t just very fun but for me, as a player, was an experience that changed my life. Because now I have friends from various parts of the world, I have various people who I met personally who I love, and various more that I still want to meet and be able to do many things together. We lived many cool moments and even if they were characters we were playing, as if they were small scripts we were playing, even then we still lived emotions that were very real. We lived through suffering together, happiness together, and much more. We shared many cool emotions together and so that created a great relationship between the content creators.
From getting along and starting to directly interact on the server to, for instance, people accompanying me late nights while I dug a whole, that refers to the players as much as it does to the administrators as well who’d stay up late digging the hole and updating twitter, doing many things with me. When I only wanted to log on the server, do Lucky Ducks, dig my whole, there was always people to participate and do things with me. And so it was always a lot of fun and it was always people from various places. (…) Because I already knew Cellbit and Felps for a long time but getting close to Pac and Mike was very crazy and it was very fun. The entire experience was very fun. And that’s it.
I think what I’m most grateful for about the QSMP was all the people that connected us. All the people who participated and permitted us to create genuine connections during the game. Because it’s only a game but at the same time everyone who is participating are real people with real feelings who share real things, you know? So it was very cool. I met many fun people who were very cool to spend all this time with. Not just the creators but the team. Everyone. So it was very cool. Very cool.
And I think that the most important thing of all is that you live through experiences in your life with various people and experiences come and go but the mark you leave on people and the mark they leave on your life is permanent. And so experiences come and go, people come and go, but the mark people leave is permanent. The mark that all these creators, all the team, all the actors of QSMP as well, of the eggs, of the characters, left a permanent mark on me that I’ll never forget because it was very cool. I hope still to find the creators, live many fun things with them still, and that’s it. I think I’ve participated in many cool things, I’ve done many cool things in my career and QSMP definitely was one of them. I have many good memories created with the server and people who participated with me. It was very very very fun.
(Bagi also said she wants to have a chat with Elena one day to discuss what she said about the Rebels with Walter Bob there as well)
if i made any typos no i didnt goodbye.
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wandascrush · 2 months
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Meet cute
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: nerves, money troubles, female reader, popular girls? A/N: In works to be a series, more parts soon! “I love you…but I will never stop hating you,” you practically whispered out the last line. The small phone booth you were in smelled like cigarettes and dust. You heard her breath on the other line, shakey. She said nothing. The endless rain created a waterfall on the glass windows, making your wife, Jamie, look like a blur of colors on the other side of the road, standing there with your two children. That was the last time you ever spoke to her. 
                     1954-Junior Year- NYC
     The first time you ever talked to Natasha was on the first day of Junior Year at Manhattan School for the Gifted. It was one of the most prestigious highschools in New York City and only few above a certain IQ were accepted. You were lucky enough to be above that IQ and be riding on a scholarship. You’d always seen her around the halls, classy, preppy, talking with her friends or teasing the poor boys that drooled over her (they didn’t stand a chance). Everyone knew her family, the Romanoffs, and her father, the head chief of the NYPD. To be frank, your opinion of her was nothing short of the rumors you’d been told- Natasha Romanoff was a rich bitch that only got into this school because of money. You know what they say, money makes the world go ‘round. So it shocked you when she gently tapped you on the shoulder as you were putting your books away in your locker, “Y/N right? I’m your locker buddy.” 
“Yeah, Y/N L/N. Pleased to meet you,” you felt weird about shaking her hand but there it was, awkwardly waiting for hers to shake back. Being forced to look at her also made you realize what pretty eyes she had, as if someone took the greenest pieces of the forest and made them into her soft orbs. 
She gently swatted your hand away, laughed, and pulled you into a soft hug, “I’m a hugger, silly.” The innocence of it genuinely touched you, and an unfamiliar feeling sprouted in your chest. That first day of Junior year, for whatever odd reason, she followed you around to break, lunch, and even got on the same bus as you after school, the fabric of her soft skirt rubbing up against your leg the entire ride home. As sweet as she was, the tension in the air was thick as you both knew her hanging around you was nothing short of unnatural. 
Yes, you were beautiful in your own right with big e/c eyes and soft skin, bouncy hair and sharp intelligence, and you could easily fit in with someone like Natasha- but your friend group wasn’t exactly popular. You were all working class girls who had to catch a job after school, instead of hang around the popular spots like some of the other kids in your grade. The girls that were able to hang out at the vinyl shop or at Joe’s burger spot didn’t let the difference between you and them go unnoticed- and most of those girls were Natasha’s friends.
Natasha rode your subway all the way to Brooklyn, where you worked at the corner bodega, your parents shop. Right before she followed you in, you turned around, “Uhm- sorry, Natasha. It’s not that I don’t want to be friends and all, but you’ve followed me a whole 45 minutes to my job just because?” You saw the way she bit her lip and hugged her played with her hair out of nervousness, “Well, I mean I do want to be friends, of course…but I also heard you were pretty good in the STEM area. Look, Mr. Stark has a project for us that he’s going to show at our end of the year fair and I don’t know shit about robotics. I was thinking…maybe you could help?” She looked at you with doe eyes and a little smirk after her rather colorful language that told you maybe there was more to this girl. Maybe. The way she talked to you was different too, not necessarily just friendly- and anything but cold. You shifted your weight to lean against the wall, contemplating her words. A part of you wanted to say no, but she slowly pulled a small little envelope out of her book bag. Your heart leaped at the thought of it being what you wanted most…cold, hard, cash. Cash that your family really needed.
“This is just a starting amount, is $85 a week okay? You could come over to my house maybe twice a week for a few hours and we can work on it.” “I’ll start Monday.”
Later that night, as you tied your hair into rollers and tucked yourself into your cozy bed, Natasha lied awake in bed as she thought about your interaction. Her mind replayed your smile, nervous laughter, and the way you made your friends laugh so hard at lunch that they cried. She wished she enjoyed her friends that much. Each time her eyes closed, your face popped up in her mind. The redhead started retracing your features like a picture. What was wrong with her? A warm feeling blossomed in the pit of her stomach, slowly working its way up to her chest- but she stopped it. Not again. Natasha Romanoff is completely normal, completely perfect…and completely straight.
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ynbabe · 10 months
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Fake texts au- pt.12 bffs with the rookies+ Monaco for one, please!
Literally love the way anyone older than them has to be the babysitter 😭😭😭
| Masterlist |
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The week you spent with Oscar and Logan was perfect in every way possible. You woke up with perhaps the worst backache you'd ever had, almost unable to breathe because Logan had shited his entire weight on you... well, that part wasn't perfect but the dinner you had afterwards made up for every ache and pain.
Oscar's mum made every favourite dish of yours and Logans, leaving a very jealous Oscar but at the end of the day, the three of you fell into the same routine you did as kids.
Sleeping late, Waking up even later and eating junk till you couldn't eat anymore (much to the dismay of their trainers) the only different thing is that all three of you couldn't bunk on the same bed. So you took turns, as suggested by Oscar's mother because your first idea was to fight for a spot on the bed.
But sadly, the week had ended and you had to leave, you hugged Logan and Oscar goodbye and made your way to Monaco, where you'd spend the rest of the summer vacation with Arthur.
He'd invited you not wanting to be alone while his brothers had their girlfriends and the last time he'd invited one of his friends from Prema, his mom had pulled him aside and given him the 'you know you can tell me anything, right, son?' he'd simply told her that he was just a friend, and anyways she should have been having the conversation with Charles anyway, with whatever he had going with Max, or with Carlos or Pierre.
You were a little nervous to go, never having been around his family before. You'd met Charles before and had become pretty good friends with him and Max but his mom? His Eldest brother? That was a whole other story.
He picked you up at the airport, drove you to the house, you offered to uber as you weren't allowed to drive in Monaco anymore (its a long story) when you walked in you hadn't realised everyone would be over and were currently on Arthur's back trying to get your phone back for the boy, which he had stolen when he saw the picture of you and Logan, oscar had sent you.
You looked around the room to find Charles, his girlfriend, his eldest brother, and their mother, staring at the two of you with wide eyes.
You jumped off your friends' back, snatching your phone in the process, "Um, hi, I'm Y/n, nice to meet you all!" You smiled hugging Charles and shaking hands with everyone else, trying to ignore your entrance.
"I'll go get the bags, yeah," he muttered as he left, his eldest brother following him.
"Maman, C'est une amie d'Arthur, celle dont je t'ai parlé," (Mom, She's one of Arthur's friends, the one I told you about), Charles said something to his mother in French, you tried to decipher with whatever Arthur had taught you over the years but they spoke too fast.
"Celui qui l'a emmené faire la fête?" (The one who took him to party?) She replied, her voice displaying disappointment, making the girl awkwardly standing next to the door frown at Charles for translation.
"Maman..." Charles began but his mother shushed him, making him look down.
Suddenly, the older woman's face and body language changed, doing a total 180, "Y/n, I've heard a lot about you, from Arthur and Charles!" She said with a smile, making the girl slightly jump in surprise, "Come on, sit, the boys will get your bags," she invited the youngest woman to sit and nodded at Charles to help get the bags, he wanted to protest but was nudged in the ribs by Alexandra, making him walk out in betrayal.
"Uh, hi guys," she said awkwardly feeling a little out of place. She felt like she was in front of a jury assessing her every move to give her life in prison and by the look on the mother's face, they were leaning in favour of the death penalty.
"Hi, Y/n," Alexandra began, quickly leaning forward as soon as her boyfriend left the house, " I've seen you around the paddock before, but mostly in Mclaren and Williams," She began, "I thought you were dating Oscar, right? Or Logan?" She asked making the girl cringe, she couldn't imagine dating one of her friends.
"Um, no, we're just friends, all four of us," she explained, this is so weird.
"And what about the hyper little British one?" Pascale asked making you laugh,
"Lando? I'm going to save his name like that from now on!" You smiled, "No, no, not at all, I think he's a little too invested in Carlos to even think about dating," you joked hoping to change the conversation, Alexandra smiled but Pascale remained unchanged.
"I've noticed, he's a sweet boy," she nodded, "Are you dating my son?" She asked, not sugarcoating anymore, making you choke on your spit, Alexandra quickly rushed to your side, patting your back.
"Thank you," you took the glass of water she offered, "I'm not dating Arthur!" You yelled as soon as you finished drinking the water, making his mother look at you suspiciously at first then nod.
"Thank you for being truthful Y/n," She began, "My kids are everything to me and they only have me to protect them. Lorenzo and Charles are old enough to understand just how cruel life can be, but Arthur's still naive," she explained slowly. It seemed like Alex had heard the same lecture too.
"Maman! Tell Charlie to stop kicking me!" Arthurs's voice rang as the trio stepped inside, proving her point.
"Maman, please, both of them won't shut up!" Lorenzo complained at his brother's antics, in true older sibling fashion.
"Only because you are stupid," Both Arthur and Charles replied at the same time making the eldest groan and place your bag down, to swat the others. Charles had your duffle and Arthur held your haversack, currently using it as a weapon to hit his brothers.
"Boys!" Their mother called out, making them all stop and pick up your bags, and carry them to some room in the house. Alexandra smiled at their antics and Pascale just shook her head.
"Sweetheart, come on, let's have some dinner, I'm sure the flight has you hungry and tired," She practically dragged you to the dinner table. You sat next to Arthur, Alex and Charles in front of you and Lorenzo and Pascle and either head of the table.
After the strange test of sorts, everything was normal, you joked along with the others, and the brothers often fought making you and Alex look at each other and laugh. You were getting along with her the most, being quite close in age and humour. However, as the night continued the jet lag became more and more of a problem.
Arthur was the first to notice your head falling as you sat, "Maman, We are going to turn in," you both began to get up but Lorenzo spoke up, making you stop.
" Où penses-tu aller?" (Where do you think you're going?) The older man asked.
"Ma chambre ?" (My room?) Arthur answered.
"Non, elle couche avec Alexandra, tu restes avec Charlie," (No, she's sleeping with Alexandra, you're staying with Charlie) He replied making both brothers angry.
They started talking over each other, yelling and shouting, you definitely made out more than one curse word. You looked over at Alex silently asking if she knew what was happening, but she just shrugged.
"You're so annoying, Lorenzo, Je jure devant Dieu que j'aurai une chambre d'hôtel !" (I swear to God I will get a hotel room!) He screamed making everyone quiet down.
"Don't yell at me, it was maman's idea," he looked at his brothers a little guiltily, making everyone look towards the eldest woman on the table.
"It's okay, Charlie, reste avec ta petite amie, Arthur soit avec ton ami." (Charlie, stay with your girlfriend, Arthur be with your friend.) Everyone seemed to be okay with the decision, though you didn't know what the decision was.
Arthur patted your shoulder, making you get up and follow him to his room. As soon as you walked in you kicked your shoes off, falling face-first on the soft king-sized bed. He followed suit, dropping himself on the opposite end of the bed, and turning his head to face you.
"I don't think your brother and mum like me very much, Princie," You spoke in a soft voice, too tired to even sit up.
"Nah, they are just over-protective," he answered, his voice nothing but a whisper.
Slowly your eyes drifted shut, letting yourself succumb to sleep.
"Bonne nuit, chérie."
Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com @landosgirlxoxo @aquangxl @sachaa-ff @tyna-19 @assholeinatrenchcoat
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