#no ones gonna see this but if ur following this blog and dont agree then fuck off i guess

[single-malt-scotch]

thinking abt how cleo was saying shed come back to tumblr if she won the poll did have me thinking like, id really hope itd in the end be her own real choice and not just like. something she joked to say and then 'oh oof, now i really do have to return even though i didnt want to' kinda deal. like i wasnt here Around when the 2019 thing happened n cleo left but it hung around this fandom enough i quickly learned about all that.... and i have seen some pretty shit ways people have interacted with hermits on here in the past. incredibly embarrassing to watch! and feels bad knowing they deal w that. and by no means would i ever encourage them to return unless they really wanted to and knew they could avoid the crappy people. its not possible for me to say "its better than before!" because er, it isnt necessarily. because those kinds of shitty people will be around. so many people just do not behave around creators.

but anyways tumblr is not your cool underground fandom club where nothing you say will ever be seen, youre posting on a public platform. it WILL be seen whether you like it or not, and while its anyone responsibility to avoid looking for those things, it also is totally within someone's right to go and look at the thing no matter how much you wish they didnt.

also youre stupid as hell if you decide to get mad at a creator themself for saying they dont mind the shipping and to just not look at it if you dont like it. there is truley nothing you can do about people who ship, it doesnt matter how much you want to fight them. your time is better spent elsewhere bc no ones going to stop the shipping and above all it is very much not a good move to try and shit on creator's themselves for deciding where their stance is on the matter... when the ships Literally involve them

[matchamabs]

look if im gonna have autism i might as well go balls to the wall with my fixations yeah? tho this time i was planning this for a while so,,, im not that unhinged

hello its black raven week time,,,, in like a month

i would push it further into the year but wow looks like mabs got saddled with some rlly shit legal duties!!! so :(( here we are. its time. im done makin the art and fics, this time i wanna see U GUYS do it!! i know there’s been a lot of weeks recently so this is just lax. u can make art in advance or just do one day idc just have fun with it

and as muuuch as i thought abt making a whole new blog for this i decided bleh not worth it + i already have a follower count so instead of doin THAT im just gonna b reblogging LOTS of ur stuff and also with the tag blackravenweek2023 so like shove that info into ur brain as hard as u can

if u cannot read the picture it isssss february 21st to 28th i just noticed i wrote,,,, 21th,,,,, twenty firth,,,

i have day details below the read more!!! look at them. its my gift of clarification 2 u. also obvs if anyone has annnny questions u can summon me in any manner n ill b there. 

no real rules to this one other than dont be a perv. and also don’t be a coward and draw tweeds thin cmon now. also alllll this content DOES include arianna and tony so like. no need to leave them out! let them join the party! 

Day 1 - Black Raven

The creature himself. The frontman n costume of the group! What a good design he is. Go hamwild with him!

Day 2 - Sweets 

or candy if u live over the water. its basically child jet fuel. the one thing that glues them all together!! they all love sweets so ur tasked with drawing them in whichever capacity u like (personally i love chewing nuts but. google doesnt agree with that as a search term apparently......)

Day 3 - Girls

lets be honest. wren and marilyn are the biggest backbone holdin that group together so show em some love! 

Day 4 - Family

do they have families? or are they each others families? maybe its just a dog. whatever u reckon is what we wanna see. (did u know shackwell is louis’ dad. mental.)

Day 5 - Work

they’re kids but they work hard as balls! do u ever wonder just what they get up to behind the scenes to keep the market running? ill bet its super mundane. 

Day 6 - The Spectre

its where we got to see them the most! the events during the spectre, what they got up to before the spectre, maybe just lying in bed bein scared as shit! i mean did u know marilyns house got destroyed by that thing? :(( rip house

Day 7 - Favourite

who is ur favourite member??? i wanna know! i wanna knowww!! 

Day 8 - have fun :) love mabs 

[clockwork-reveries]

tumblr in the neoteric world

☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

confession. i'm fr TIRED of humans treating corinthians like shit or things that dont feel. it's the little things that make me want to quit my job and i don't know, scam the elderly for a living? (that was a joke.) i love my job don't get me wrong, it makes me the happiest i've been in a long time. today at work while i was busy helping a coworker see what was wrong with their terminal, some dude walked right up to me. he was maybe, i don't know, late 30's, early 60's? it's so hard to tell humans apart. and put his FINGER underneath the panel on my NECK. i smacked his hand away so hard he yelled, but of course i didn't care he almost got to some delicate shit! all because he couldn't stop himself from getting his grubby manchild hands off me.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow

fucking. respect corinthians. before the empyrean war some of you complained we were replacing humanity, and now that we did all the work for y'all in the war, you treat us like servants and objects that just are there. we'll be around for a long long time. and a ton of us won't forget this.

🔁🔥 antiflesh-posting Follow

I wasn't made during the war, so maybe my comments aren't valid, but I totally agree, OP. Humans have become so full of themselves, it's revolting. I'm sorry about your issues as well. We've got a group on TMB about how to reduce human population, and we also think you might be better suited especially if you live in a smaller city, as you've stated in previous posts.

🔁☢️ becquerel-tears Follow fucker didn't read my post, it's so obvious. do NOT talk to me about "reducing the human population" you fucking edgelord wannabe terrorists. blocked and reported. I DON'T CARE THAT THIS IS A BOT, ANTHROPOPHOBES AREN'T EVER WELCOME ON MY BLOG

38 notes

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

i got suuuuuper bord.. im thinking abt trying tht weird "simul8d food" some company made around 2020 for corinthians. desc says ur supposed to "taste" it like the real thing. im rlly sus abt it but somebodys selling it on ebay for almost 7 bucks so i dont think ill be losing a lot!

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

update it arrived!!! i got the icecream 1......!1! apparently ur supposed to bite it? huh? ( •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

💌 bl33ding-hartzzz Follow

Oh. oh i c why nobody wants this. its a scam we dont even knw what flavors n tastes are like anywaze.

AKA it suckssss. ˙◠˙

75 notes

⚙️ vermina-overlord Follow

139 notes

 🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

yall after that fic i made was thinking about trying to make the custom corinthian by myself does anyone have any tutorials i can follow? i think im gonna use crisp's design when i make him but maybe ill have to make a super tiny version if thats possible so it costs less? does anyone know if you can create small corinthians?

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Bestie??? You cant???? Just make Corinthians??? I get you used to customize Furbys but theyre not fucking dolls, dude. Does nobody realize how horrible it is to be playing god for funsies? EDIT: I wasn't calling Corinthians dolls

🔁🍅 camillcamillaeleon Follow

its not like im going to FORCE them to be what i want i just want them to look like it yknow every time i post like something this youre always one of the first people to reply can you just get off my dick already

🔁💫 all-antipurpose Follow

Then just draw it? Why do you need a 200+ pound AI to do it for you? I find it really weird how youre not concerned about the ethic issues about just making life just because you feel like nor have you addressed it at all. Am I in the wrong here for thinking everyone in the notes is delusional for calling me a cop just because you guys watch too many sci-fis? Don't make Corinthians.

285 notes

🍋‍🟩 starberry-skyfield Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: Genevieve

Height: 166 cm

Favorite show: Resident Alien

Favorite snack: Caramel popcorn

Software: ? What does this mean? Windows 11

First song: Don't remember

Favorite game: Sims 3

Hair color: Dark blonde

Countries traveled: Canada, Japan

Dogs or cats: Dogs

Eye color: Blue

Last song listened: Liquid Smooth by Mitski

Phone wallpaper: I like green

TAGGED BY: @kermiance TAGGING: @crownless-crimson (i hope you're feeilng better!) @poloniusweeps @mixomadie @shutupchrissy (i know you like fillouts)

15 notes

🔥v1butalmostirl Follow

APPARENTLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS JUST UNABLE TO RECOGNIZE COLORS? WHY DOESNT ANYONE TALK ABOUT HOW SOME WAR-MADE CORINS ARE REALLY BADLY MADE? HES FROM THE EAST COAST AND HIS SYSTEMS DON'T RECOGNIZE BLUE FROM GREEN AND MORE EVEN THOUGH HIS OPTICS CAN SEE LITERALLY SEE IT ITS DISGUSTING HOW PERSONHOOD WAS DEVELOPING FOR CORINTHIANS BUT IMMEDIATELY DIMINISHED DURING THE WAR SOME WAR-MADES HAVE NEVER FELT KINDNESS

1,056 notes

🌷cordie-draws Follow

Sometimes I want to be human Organic, real, warm, soft Cartilage and bone Blood, enamel, keratin Does anyone feel me? Sometimes it upsets me so bad when I realize I can't smell soap or the candles in my kitchen. Or when I make food for my cat. Or when I wake and realize that I can't stretch or yawn. But that would mean I'd lose myself... because humans definitely have feelings different. But would that be so bad? Burned, with ashes, rising up into beauty and wonder?

118 notes

☁️ puppetprancinq Follow

dumb question i know but do you guys wash your vessel plates with a clorox wipe one at a time or hop in a shower if youre sealed

on sunday mornings i like to put them all in the dishwasher because i really dont have another use for em. and then when i get em out its like ahhhh. squeaky clean

151 notes

💾 crownless-crimson Follow

𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐏

Name: JZK (Not my real name)

Height: 6' / 185 cm

Favorite show: Star Trek: The Next Generation

Favorite snack: I can't eat.

Software: IceLemon v6.8

First song: Yesterday by The Beatles. Someone who worked at where I was developed had a cassette player lying around. The mic barely picked it up but I was delighted to hear music for the first time.

Favorite game: Most of the Amnesia series, Resident Evil 2 and 3, Halo 1 and 2. I'm not good at shooting games but I like the stories most of the time.

Hair color: Brown

Countries traveled: USA (I'm British), Germany, Norway, Italy

Dogs or cats: Dogs. I plan on getting one.

Eye color: Red

Last song listened: Cloudbusting by Kate Bush

Phone wallpaper:

TAGGED BY: @starberry-skyfield Thank you, Genevieve. TAGGING: @becquerel-tears, @bl33ding-hartzzz, @v1butalmostirl, @liminalbrainwave, @clockwork-dreamings

9 notes

️♣️spinneretgods Follow

Fellas is it gay to help a corin with their maintenance and then accidentally screw their head completely off and then laugh about it as you play a game of soccer and then suddenly they explode violently like the guy from daft punk and you sit there clutching the remains of them sobbing even though you know the day would come to an end

🔁🌽i-give-people-cobsofcorn Follow

Here.

🔁♣️ spinneretgods Follow

POST CANCELLED GET OUT OF MY DUNGEON

8,948 notes

[circular-bircular]

Mmm. I caught a few free minutes today to sit down and respond, so let's unleash this one, shall we?

Below the cut is an ENORMOUS ask, and a (incredibly long, as much as I may try otherside) response. It's about the recent "censorship" (???) drama.

TL;DR: Everyone is allowed to be angry in life, and policing that is kind of outrageously infuriating, especially in spaces where people struggle with things like emotional regulation! I'm allowed to be upset and express that upset, just as much as anyone else. Me expressing frustrations isn't "demonizing" people or attacking them, and I'm sorry if it comes across that way. If you feel I'm attacking you by posting on my own blog how I'm upset about something, or feel I'm attacking you by reblogging posts on tumblr to dissect ableism in articles you yourself posted... Figure out that feeling, or block me? Good lord.

I am not posting anything more about this topic. Please don't send asks about it, or I will simply be deleting them.

Okay. For context, these two asks (combined below) came in about 3 days ago. I was wondering if I should post them in a different format to slim them down, but genuinely, I think I want to present this as I received it. Here it is (with your system name censored, anon -- I recognize your concerns about harassment):

abt frameaclouds post :: politely + trying to come to the table not to argue but to point this out I dont think you can blame a blogger for seeing people reblogging their post from you legit screaming "how dare you" or "fuck you" at them and them then assuming that it's probs best to just block and keep back from that whole group of folks. I liked some of your additions and thought they were interesting as one of frameaclouds followers.... but the way you and others focused almost entirely on nitpicking LB Lee's stuff and some ways things were phrased (ex. - like point 3; all frameacloud said was that DID does not require trauma. you then... agreed and shouted at them?), and the way a lot of you jumped to calling it censorship and silencing when frameacloud refused to engage afterwards, really kind of makes it look like you're interpreting their post and actions in the worst light possible. it makes it seem like you're coming from a place of bad faith. you mentioned some cool perspective in your reblog, where you talked about how it came off to someone who had your specific background and knowledge and what u found the issues to be, but you haven't done the reverse: you haven't considered how your reblog was going to come across to an otherkin whose been around for a really long time and who is probably used to dealing with tons and tons of trolls who are going to take what they say in the least generous way possible, twist their words, + use it to belittle and harass them. like this is an otherkin who's been around since the grilling times and usenet days. and a bunch of people who seem to be in ur circles citing back to the post and kind of beating their chests about it even tho frameacloud is making a point not to fight or argue about it and to just block and move on...and u urself described ur response as a 'rant' which has a pretty diff connotation than 'discussion' or 'criticism'...well its likely to just project that kind of image further, that ur just here to flame war, even if thats not what ur doing or how u want to come across. ik that's how it came across to me and even after seeing some of ur past posts on ur blog that i really liked im still a little skeptical that this ask isnt gonna be either trashed mocked or taken out of context by u or someone who follows u. and also i want to remind people that like......... u r not owed access to anyone on socmed. frameacloud and any other blogger is allowed to block anyone for any reason. and its unhealthy to say that ur owed other ppls blogs and posts to platform on. respect other ppls boundaries without villainizing them cuz otherwise ur just opening up a can of worms to lie in. and ik u said in a later post that theyre well within their rights to block u but u also reblogged a post before that calling it censorship. so like... this is what i mean about coming off as disengenuous and troll-y, stuff like this is why even if i liked some of ur reblog i wont rb it. if i rb it and end up deleting it later am i gonna be told by others that im 'censoring' u? if i make a mistake and say something wrong in a tag am i gonna get jumped with a 5k word essay from four different ppl telling me how much i suck? its a hypothetical but only sorta with whats been happening on ur blog and elsewhere in this discussion. its bad form and its not super fair to frameacloud who still hasnt done legit anything yet but block ppl and i really cant say enough how much i dont blame them with some of whats been said n what sort of conclusions ppl r jumping to abt them. (also now that im thinking of the context if u did come across as bad faith engagement to frameacloud then they probably didnt respond to ur ask because it screamed BAIT to them cuz ik in their shoes id think the same. i mean their blog 99% runs on queue...the last post they reblogged that wasnt on their queue was ONE post on the 11th from their boyfriend and be4 that ONE on the 9th...all while u have someone gossiping in a prev ask that they 'often do this'. i can see frameaclouds POV)

like i swear im not trying to start a fight but can u see how this comes off. claiming u want a discussion and then thanking someone who is calling blocking censorship, saying that theyre in their rights to block but then posting an ask that says this blog that makes maybe like two or three original posts a month "does this often", the original aggro all over the reblogs that stem from ur first reblog in the reblog chart... like frameacloud is the one who blocked first but u have to srsly consider why they did + why they refuse to engage at all + what it looks like to ppl outside of the type of syscourse ur used to, like them and like me. if u want ppl to listen, then this isnt a good way to promote the kind of discussions u say u want. it just drives ppl away and maybe it feels temporarly vindicating but its not helpful. i want to see the things ur talking abt talked abt more but if its always going to be like that and theres no way for it to be less like trekking thru a field of mines where someone might blow up at u for something u dnt even realize is wrong at the time then i dunno

...

So, first off, I apologize profusely to everyone for how long-winded I am. I write a LOT, a habit I have always, always tried to break, and I now realize just how much it is to see thousands of words in response to things. This is nearly 1k of words I woke up to right before leaving for my vacation. Talk about wild to read right after waking up. (I also apologize because what follows is similarly so long winded and I cannot figure out how to not do this).

I attempted to write up my response. Took a full day and a half, writing and writing and writing. And here's the thing, I wrote around 3k words trying to explain my perspective, trying to acknowledge what I agreed and disagreed with from your asks, from your perspective, and just...

Dude, I am so fucking done with this shit. Not your asks in particular, but with syscourse in general.

This ask presents me with a damned if I do, damned if I don't scenario. I could leave it to rot in my inbox, but then I'm a hypocrite for not engaging with discussions about things, which is what I say I want people to do. I could finish writing up my 3k+ word response, but then my words are going to be twisted as they always are because I'm long winded and I am just trying my best to (probably over)explain myself.

Or... I can just. Explain as briefly as possible here what I'm feeling, thinking, and doing.

So... Here goes my best shot.

One:

First and foremost, I could care less at this point about frameacloud. Good fucking lord, I have tried to keep their username in my head through all of this, but it's genuinely so hard and I just end up scrolling up. I have never interacted with this user before this, and I clearly won't be again. My beef is not with them. I could care less about this user or their business; they are a tumblr user who exists. Wow!

My upset was about how the conversation was cut off. That's all. That's it. Wow, it sucks how all conversations are cut off when people block others for any reason. I hate how long MY blocklist is, strictly for my mental health. I hate how many people I have to block to keep myself healthy, because it cuts off communication. Is it... condemning myself to saying, "It's a shame that they cut off communication like that" when I've blocked plenty of very vocal syscoursers?

No. As I've said numerous times through all this, people should be able to block whoever they want. Even if I talk about how upsetting that may be, I mean absolutely no ill will to the person who literally should not know I'm talking about how upset I am, because said person has me blocked.

Two:

I don't care why they blocked me. Maybe they personally hate me, maybe they heard about me from who-is-page or whoever (I know I've bumped heads with them in the past once or twice before), maybe they thought I was a troll, maybe they thought I was overly angry, whatever-

That literally means nothing to me other than " :( Fucking goddamn it, that means my response will be hidden."

What I am upset about isn't that they blocked me; I'm upset that the conversation was cut short and hidden in all aspects. By that I mean, I don't care I was blocked and hidden; I care that every single user who reblogged either me or SAS's reply was also hidden. Like. Every single tag was. I don't know if that's tumblr's doing, or OPs doing, or what have you, but again -- it doesn't matter.

All I'm saying is "damn, buddy, that sucks."

Three:

They didn't respond to my ask, and I mentioned that in my follow up post to show I tried to reach out genuinely. I didn't want people to think I was posting this without trying to reach out originally. That was all. It was once again me complaining that the conversation was completely cut off, regardless of the reason why it was cut off.

And here's where I'll address the elephant that I see, or at least the first one.

I'm allowed to be however angry I want on my blog, on my posts, and in my life. I'm allowed to shout, curse, and be pissed off. And no, they don't need to engage with it, and no, I don't need to be happy about that fact.

This is a tumblr blog, sir.

I'm not a medical professional or a debater on a stage in front of a podium. I'm a 26 year old trauma survivor who got upset about a fucking severely ableist post. I think I should be allowed to be a bit pissy about it.

Being told so frequently recently that I need to "be nice to convince people" is such whiplash, because less than a year ago, I was that person. I was the person telling everyone to let go of their anger, to be nice to convince the other side, that everyone needs to be polite. I did this so much that I literally was known as the Respectability Politics Syscourser. That was a legitimate label I used. I was told so often that I was a filthy centrist and that I was worse than homophobic bigots because I was trying to get everyone to just be nice to each other. I got fucking harassed for simply posting "Everyone should respect each other" to the syscourse tags.

Is that healthy?

A topic I discuss most frequently with my therapist at the moment is reclaiming anger. I struggle severely with loyalty and fawning, convinced that if I show any negative emotion whatsoever, I'll be hurt and shoved aside and abandoned by those I love. (Ouch). Here's just a few things I've learned in the past year or so:

Anger is the part of you that knows you deserve better.

Anger is a form of self-love.

Anger is a secondary emotion; what emotion lies under it? (This is the one I struggle with the most)

In... Fall of last year (the exact month escapes me), I ended up blowing up due to how long I had kept myself censored and kept myself "polite" for others. Due to how much anger I'd shoved aside and kept under wraps for the benefit of others. Because being angry would "reflect badly" on me and my friends; because it would make what I had to share less accessible to others.

... I'm done with doing that. Therapist's literal orders. In fact, if my therapist had his way, I would not have a system blog, be part of any system servers, or talk to anyone online who has DID, because the fact fucking is, none of you are safe to talk to. It will always be a triggering space. (Thankfully, my therapist also acknowledges that he is a singlet, doesn't know my brain, and that I am my own person who can make my own choices).

If OP of the post decided to make a big huge post blowing up in anger and frustration at how horrible I am, good for them. If you block me out of anger, good for you! I do not care, because I will be happy you are doing what is best for you. I am happy OP did what's best for them.

And equally, upset that a convo about ableism was hidden.

That brings me to:

Four:

Out of all the shit said and reblogged through that little single blip on the syscourse radar (I think around 10 posts out of 20 in that single 24 hours), I do regret posting that ask about OP "doing this often". That one is on me, and tbh, I'm gonna delete it. It was drama, and I do try to avoid that. I hardly added anything to it, and while I know my perspective on why I posted it, I also acknowledge that it'll do literally jack shit to explain why. So I'm just gonna delete it and move on.

But in everything else, I was only lamenting the fact that every response was hidden beyond those agreeing with OP.

I thanked Candlelight (the first user to call it censorship from what I can see) for stating that the responses were all hidden, but moreover, for mentioning that they didn't agree with everything I said. I spoke on that post primarily driven by anger at Lee's ableism. I KNOW it was not a perfect post. That's because I'm not a Perfect Debater(TM).

All I wanted was A DISCUSSION ABOUT ABLEISM!

(Note: This is commonly seen as yelling; for me, via text, I see this as EXTREME EMPHASIS. Sorry it apparently comes across as yelling! I see it as yelling a bit in my mind, but I can see how the TONE is lost in those cases. Right now, my tone is exhausted frustration, but I see no need to ACTUALLY raise my voice at you.)

I think that's the thing that's pissed me off the most. Everyone and their brother wants to either agree or disagree with me about censorship. I have my own thoughts on censorship (it's basically always bad, but there's nuance on all things, is exclusion censorship, etc etc) but those are not relevant because nobody has even fucking addressed the ableism.

The articles -- linked by OP, but who gives a shit at this point -- came off as ableist. I reblogged OP's post because they are the ones who posted the ableist articles to the DID tags. That is how tumblr is used, is it not? And yes, I expressed my anger... at the articles... on the post that had the articles...

And OP hid those critiques for their own reasons... and I lamented that they were hidden... so I made a post about it while explaining the context ('Hey if you're wondering why I'm making this big huge long post AGAIN, OP blocked my response and everyone elses, and yes I have tried to resolve it, but this one's plan B for getting the word out that these articles and ideas are really harmful online')

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. You see why this is so hard to keep short, right? I surely hope so. There's a LOT to tackle here, and a lot of emotions, and a lot of different topics/nuances.

FIVE: RAPID FIRE ROUND (With Review!)

I don't care about otherkin spaces or know shit about them. They're triggering for me. Bluh.

I don't blame OP for blocking me.

I don't hate you or want to attack you for this ask, sorry you feel that way.

If someone deletes a reblog, I just assume they made a mistake reblogging it? Do people attack others for this shit?

I nitpicked Lee's response because Lee's response was the most ableist shit I've seen in a bit, and I did that on OP's post because they're the one who posted it.

I didn't agree that DID does not always need trauma? I explicitly said it is always trauma based? I'm so confused about that point.

Is "Ranting" seen as trolling now? I use "rant" to mean "Shit, I went on for a LONG time." It's synonymous with ramble for me.

I don't know how to break it to everyone, but posting online means it is inherently unsafe, and someone may attack you or blow up at you. It's the world wide web. It sucks. (That doesn't mean it's deserved or that I endorse that behavior; it's just... life).

Ugh.

At the end of the day, I just want to be able to have my fucking disorder and scroll tags about my disorder without seeing:

It doesn't need trauma to form

Traumagenic systems are 'obsessed with suffering'

Endogenic systems are 'healthy' forms of plurality (As opposed to DID)

Yknow. Syscourse in general.

And similar shit.

Is that too much to ask??

Anon; I know this doesn't address all of your points. I KNOW I haven't gone point by point like I wanted to. My original draft did that, but I only got halfway before hitting 3k words, and you seemed... really adverse to a long ra- ramble, not rant. Sorry? Ugh.

Just take this, and I hope this topic doesn't come back to me, because I'm kinda done with it entirely at this rate.

[birdsbatblog]

sorry to be snarky and vague but sometime certain DC/Batman fans drive me MAD. sorry i don't know or care who fucking BLORSH LIGHTING is!!! SORRY I interpret a character thats been portrayed a hundred different times by a hundred different writers differently then you do! SORRY i reblogged a post mischaracterizing THORACK RAZOR. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THORACK RAZOR. LET ME HAVE FUN IM NOT GONNA DO FUCKING HOMEWORK TO BE A FAN OF A MAN WHO DRESSES AS A BAT FURSONA OHHH MY GOD. and you know what?? i do not care if he would not fucking say that. what if he did?? what if he DID fucking say that??? what if Tim Drake WAS a borderline incompetent soaking wet kicked puppy who's never felt joy in his live? wouldn't that be FUN? don't we like having FUN around here??? LIKE GENUINELY! save the anger at 'mischaracterization' for... the actual official works. it actually boggles my mind why some people would be on tumblr if they couldnt handle shit-posts and incorrect quotes and other typical fandom staples. if you only wanna have sErioUS well thought out conversations about BATMAN. then ur in the WRONG PLACE. GO FIND A FORUM!!! OR A DISCORD SERVER! OR MAKE A FRIEND!! i'm CONSTANTLY seeing posts spreading the mindset of "if you don't like it, block and move on" which i agree with!! and i think a lot of other people agree with too,, until it comes to actually practicing it like bro SHUT UP NO ONE CARES. MAKE UR OWN POST RANTING ABOUT IT TO UR BATMAN THEMED BLOG WITH ONE FOLLOWER (hi gavin) LIKE IM DOING!! DONT REPLY TO SHIT YOU DON'T LIKE SAYING "can someone fix this please 🥺" CAN YOU SHUT UP. OHHH MY GOD WHY DON'T YOU FIX YOUR ATTITUDE? YOU ARE ON TUMBLR. YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE. BRUCE WAYNE LOVES ALL HIS KIDS UNCONDITIONALLY AND IS A GREAT FATHER. JASON TODD CAN LIKE HIS FAMILY AND WILL HANG OUT WITH THEM. THE BATKIDS HAVE MET THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, AND YES, THE SHENANIGANS WERE HILARIOUS! AND HAL JORDAN ISN'T FUCKING RELEVANT IN THE BATMAN - ALL MEDIA TYPES 5K WORDS 1 SHOT FANFICTION ON AO3 WITH THE TAGS "FLUFF" AND "CRACKFIC." HE CAN BE A DAMN PLACEHOLDER. HE CAN BE OOC. HE CAN DO SOMETHING HE NORMALLY WOULDN'T. IT DOESNT MATTER!!!

im SORRY you're so obsessed with Gerry Greene aka The Blasting Man that you start shaking and vomiting and throwing up and having seven consecutive panic attacks when some 15 year old on wattpad writes him 'wrong,' or god forbid, no one utilizes him at all! i'm sorry your all time favorite superhero, Tree Woman, doesn't get talked about enough. Maybe you should try coping.

[thatbitchsimone]

seeing a lot of terf (or do u just call them radfem? idk is terf like a mean word or do they embrace it?) girlies are starting to follow me again so quick disclaimer im not one of yall and if thats gonna bother u or make u yell at me on anon then u probably shouldnt follow my blog but if u dont care about that and just like my blog in general regardless of personal views u can obviously stay and enjoy the vibe. its a public blog so anyone can follow it like i personally dont care as long as u dont try to fight me all the time or are gonna feel ”betrayed” by me for not fully agreeing with ur views (yeah that seems to have been a thing in the past) and take that out on me. this is my little visual diary not a political/movement kind of blog. yes i know this should all go without saying and be obvious to anyone with common sense and decensy but girl the experiences ive had with some of yall have been kind of insane and not very positive lol and im not gonna keep that shit going over and over again. just keep it respectful pls or kindly just silently leave bc im not open for these debates ever again period ok thank u

[saetoru]

hey tee, can i ask something? so ik how frustrating it can be when anons send hate, but what’s it like when other blogs do it?? how do you handle it?? & i dont mean when they’re like directly talking to you, but subtweeting in a way…am i explaining this well????? idk but something that i hate is when people will just ask & ask & ask you to write as if you’re a machine & not a human being.

there’s a particular account that never writes (which is completely fine), and they always ask everyone to be patient & etc. but they constantly talk abt how “no one writes like they used to” or just complain abt other people’s writing in general & it’s just so sad to see bc as a creator on this app, they should immediately understand tht people are not fucking machines & struggle with writer’s block & stuff like that. she just gives off big hypocritical vibes. idk if you’re mutuals w/ them or not (hopefully not).

her writing is fine, but as a person… idk. im not gonna say who it is, but they’re pretty known on tumblr. it really bugs me when she says stuff like that and then her followers just back her up like nothing’s wrong. generally speaking, i believe u can say whatever tf u want on your own blog, but some of the stuff she says just really upsets me, especially since im starting to write on tumblr. i have blocked her, but after seeing some the things she’s said, plus the amount of people that agree with her is making me real self conscious abt my work.

so yea, how do u feel when stuff like that happens to you?? im so sry for the long ask, but hopefully you can take the time to respond. it would mean a lot! ❤️

hi bestie !! i will answer under the cut:

i just block lmao. like deadass half of a lot writers on here ??? chances are i’ve blocked them and tbh that might sound bad but if i see a discourse or a “hot take” that i fully disagree with, or rubs me wrong, i block. and that’s bc i think all of us as writers, even if it’s the smallest part of our brains, compare ourselves to other writers. so i block writers that give me bad vibes bc i don’t wanna subconsciously start comparing myself to them in a manner that makes me question myself like you said. if a writer thinks majority of fanfic mostly sucks now, well i guess they’re not reading my sucky content bc they are b l o c k e d !!!

i actually have like two or three very strongly voiced ppl blocked that always say “fanfic isn’t what it used to be” or “all fanfic is the same now” and i think personally it’s a really entitled and annoying thing to say. if someone came into a writer’s inbox and said those exact things on anon, everyone would jump to attack that anon and say “it’s free content be grateful.” i don’t think someone being a writer gives them the right to dictate such strong opinions openly about other peoples fanfic writing styles/methods/choices. even if you provide content, you’re still consuming free content just as everyone else. it’s one thing to politely offer advice as one writer to another with good intentions, but that’s very clearly seen in your tone and how you word the message. if you think fanfic isnt what it used to be, then write what you want to see ??? it’s simple.

so yeah either way i would block that individual—maybe i already have them blocked too who knows LMAO i hope i do. but i wouldn’t let it get to you because tbh in my experience ppl who have the most to say about other writers have the emptiest masterlists 💀 the rest of us are too busy focusing on our writing to care about what other people are posting and whatnot. block them, block their friends that agree, block anyone else that agrees with them. LMAO i’m not saying this to act like “ur always right and everyone else is always wrong” but tbh if u just block all the ppl ur disagree with, then at one point ur dash will just be peaceful

take it from me !! the girlie that is blocked by like 75% of this app !! just remove people you don’t wanna see. filter their urls, unfollow ppl they heavily interact with, curate ur own experience without being a bitch. rant to ur friends, get it off ur chest privately but like don’t subpost them in a rly obvious manner and start more drama bc it’s just always gonna be a mess that way.

and tbh there’s a lot of things that ppl in a fandom community can and should come and discuss in a civil manner without peoples feelings getting hurt like meta and popularly flawed characterization patterns, but i think bitching about the “quality” of fanfic is a rly nasty thing to openly complain about bc it’s just unwarranted and discouraging. a lot of people are on here for fun, not to write new york times best selling novels, so just let them have their fun :/

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[bloodbenderz]

this is possibly a dumb question and a weird one, so feel free to ignore! but i was reading one of ur analyses (on the lok anarchy article) and that was a lot of fun to read and i thought u made v salient points! i was wondering if u had any advice on how one can get better at coming up with their own analyses and stuff like that. maybe it’s a lack of brain cells or maybe it’s a part of my brain that i haven’t flexed in years, but i want to be able to do that (i think it’s called “critical thinking” lmao) but cannot fathom how to do so to the point of being able to think and organize analyses/essays like this. again this is a weird q with an answer that will vary/not exist depending on who’s asked, but i dig ur analyses so here i am

thank u sm! this is a super broad question but im just gonna assume u mean literary analysis cuz thats what this blog is about (usually)

my first piece of advice is to read nonfiction. for me nonfiction has always been the best way for me to build a Framework of critical thought (for example, learning about science and its history gives me the tools to criticize modern scientific education and pop science) aside from teaching u abt historical/scientific fact, these writers will usually have ways of thinking abt things that u will not have considered before, and as u follow them thru their argument, u will not only understand Theirs better but u will also start understanding better how to formulate ur own. u can find whatever format works best for u, like, podcasts/audiobooks or print or ebook or whatever, but find some content abt something that interests u and go for it! 

when it comes to fiction, i would say my advice is to both consume a lot of fiction AND ALSO consume a lot of analysis of it. (also remember that ur mind basically functions on You are what you eat. Dont spend too much time watching trashy dramas or reading fanfiction. read/watch/listen to a VARIETY of content) as u consume content, ask urself WHY do i like this? what specifically abt it is appealing to me? why does it ring true, or why doesn’t it? notice motifs bc thats usually the easiest way to notice symbolism (for example theres a lot of mirrors and reflections in russian doll. what does that mean?) and think abt what they could represent in the story. track character development, make mental notes of a character’s motivations and ideals, and notice how the story affects them and ask if it makes sense. give urself room to dislike things (Just because legend of korra is the sequel to a show u really liked doesnt mean u have to like lok too!), but ask urself why u disliked them, and see if u can form a convincing argument abt it.

look at other people’s analysis of fiction! watch video essays and read other people’s analysis! u dont have to agree w them, but see what patterns they’ve picked out, and see if u can pick out patterns like it next time. it’s really just practice the more u read/watch critically, the more u get better at it!

for me fiction is the most fun and creative way to Apply critical thought because like. every piece has a Point to it. Nonfiction will just come out and tell u what their point is, but fiction requires u to figure out what theirs is, and bc of that there’s a lot of flexibility in how u read it. (hint: as long as the text doesnt actually disprove ur reading, that’s a valid Point! another hint: not all Valid points are Good) also, i dont wanna sound like an asshole here but theres no way to avoid it so here it is: a lot of people dont criticize/analyze fiction properly bc of their emotional attachment to it. they’ll project things onto characters that arent supported by the text, they’ll write “fix it” fanfiction that ignores or misunderstands the important themes of a story, they’ll excuse genuinely bad writing bc theyre attached to the characters (can anyone say 2020 supernatural renaissance?). its fine to be emotionally attached to a story (and if it’s a good story u WILL be emotionally attached to it) but when u write analysis of a story set ur affection for the characters aside for the moment cuz u will always end up with much fairer and more interesting analysis when u do. 

also, find somebody to talk to abt fiction or make a blog abt it! its fun to talk about and u will find it easier to form arguments when ur actively talking abt it cuz honestly i only ever have a half formed thought when i write my long posts i just sit down and start typing and i organize my thoughts once theyre already down

so, idk. tldr: read more nonfiction, read less fanfiction, write more analysis. And pay attention in english class if ur in school

[thefloorisbalaclava]

its likely just the ppl i follow but i hadnt seen one thing but 'Its Not Yet Over' without searching for it before i saw the rbs on ur blog and by GOD am i CLINGING 2 IT !!!!!!!!! let me have my escapism! let me have my laughter! its cozy! its been a while! i hadnt realised how awful the wait was making me feel but omg the deep breaths i keep letting out bc HE IS FUCKING LEAVING!!! and seeing all those posts i just 'hang on wait im overreacting maybe this is still bad' but on second thought no lets not dampen this ! i wanted 2 make sure u knew i am grateful for ur reminders!! and that i agree!!!!!! and like also i dont have 2 avoid ppl for my desire 2 celebrate 2 be reasonable, its valid in itself! i saw one of those 'how dare u [..]' things i almost lost it irreparably. like maybe u havent lived in fear of the power that his every action holds but this is the exact comfort that ppl have been holding onto for literally FOUR(4) YEARS!!! so Yes i shall in fact be taking a LOT of solace and relief in this!!!! i cant stop going back 2 how im gonna feel waking up tomorrow . im still processing! im still tearful! i feel lighthearted in this saturday 7th november tonight! and i hope that u can also remain upbeat and chirpy despite ppl! thank u thank u for the Exactly What I Want 2 Hear (as always). we did it !!!!!! hes leaving oh god im gonna cry again. hes leaving!!!!!!!!

I've been crying on and off all day. Seeing those pictures of Pedro celebrating made me cry all over again lol. This ask made me cry again lol. We're allowed this one brief moment of happiness. We can BREATHE! I relished in the sounds of people cheering in the streets and my neighbors stomping and banging on pots! Those are the same sounds I heard when I was in college and Obama was elected! WE CAN CELEBRATE! That doesn't mean we care any less. And as a black woman I AM FUCKING TIRED. I DESERVE A BREAK.

I'm happy you were able to escape those shitty "its not over posts" on my blog. You won't find em here plus I've probably unfollowed or blocked anyone who was reblogging or posting them on my dash anyway lol. I've lost my patience. Black people have FOUGHT harder than most for this to happen and people wanna tell me I shouldn't be happy? They can fuck right off.

BE HAPPY!!! CELEBRATE!!! Pedro is lol!

LET US ENJOY THIS!

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[rouge-the-bat]

yk what's personally disturbing to me... policing who people reblog from. example: Person A has a ship or headcanon or fandom or what the fuck ever that Person B dislikes. Person C reblogs regulary (or even just once) from Person A, without rbing the content B hates. Person B decides that is callout worthy. The reason this sucks (aside from obvious reasons) is like... you don't know why someone follows someone else. For me, I sometimes reblog from ppl I don't like just bc I'm hate scrolling 1/2

duudee yeah im so sick of ppl assuming that you support like everything someone does just bc u reblogged from them or follow them. like even if you follow someone, it doesnt mean youre buds, it doesnt mean you know everything they say or do even if they post it- because its not like people are gonna see EVERY single post someone makes ??? (unless theyre like a fave blog or something and keep updated, but thats not the usual case) and you dont have to agree with every single one of someones stances to follow them. some people *GASP* Dont care about sitting exclusively in echo chambers for their own views.

and you could just see a post from ur recommends that you reblog or smthn and you dont look at any other posts from op, so its not like you even know anything about them besides The One Post. or someone just has a lot of posts that tend to circulate in your corner of the internet bc of the ppl u follow, even though you dont follow the op directly. and most often for me i dont even recognize that may be happening bc i rarely notice urls when im looking at posts.

people tend to do this with celebrities too, like i get that some people be like way too deep stanning famous actors or musicians or w/e but for me personally idk jack shit about celebrities im a fan of. and i dont even really consider myself a "fan" of celebrities, but more a fan of their content, and that really only applies to musicians bc i dont get invested in like, particular actors content. i just listen to peoples music, but i see so often ppl treat that as endorsing everything the maker has done even though 1. idk shit about them 2. im usually not even giving them money, its really rare for me to actually buy music. majority of the time i legit cant even tell you someones name or what they look like, unless their music is under their name instead of a band title and their face have been on their albums or something. like THAT is how much i literally do not get invested into celebrities. this is a bit offtopic tho lol but its kinda relevant so i wanted to say the tangent

also like. 99.99% of the ppl i encounter on here are complete strangers. idk everything about them and i honestly dont WANT to know??? most of these people are completely insignificant to me, we are just people passing each other on the street, maybe ive passed them a few times in this town, who knows! i see they have a cute hat on and move on, not remembering or knowing anything about them. im not gonna practically reasearch every person i encounter on here just to interact

[sun-kissed-star]

Could u write albert/race (platonic or romantic) w adhd!race (btw i l o v e ur fics)

thank u love, just for you here’s a fic of me projecting on race, ft. an asshole date and albert being a sweetheart

trigger warning: ableist language

~~~~~~~

“Come to the park with me on my date, he said,” Albert muttered to himself, swatting a branch out of his face. “It’ll be fun, he said.”

In any given situation, Albert would rather stab out his left eyeball with a spork than be a third-wheel on a date. It made him anxious and turned him from calm and collected to a shy, awkward mess in a matter of seconds. 

Apparently, all those things went out the window when Race was involved. Albert guessed it was fair, anyway. Race had met a cute boy named Kevin at a party, been asked out on a date, and proceeded to beg Albert to come with him. He’d barely talked to the boy and he was “too young and pretty to be murdered on a first date.” (Race’s words, not Albert’s.)

Besides, it wasn’t really third-wheeling. Not when Albert was crouched in a tree, watching Kevin slip his hand into Race’s. It was technically called stalking. 

“You having fun?” Kevin said to Race. They were sitting on a bench directly under Albert’s tree, and frankly, he considered it a miracle Kevin hadn’t looked up yet. 

“Yeah,” Race said, grinning at their linked hands. His cheeks and ears were tinged pink. “I love this park. When I was seven, my mom, my biological one, took me and my best friend Albert here. I don’t live with her anymore, I doubt she remembers it, but I broke my arm. I don’t even remember how. I mean, that wasn’t the last time I was here, that’s the only time I’ve ever broken something. My brother says it’s a miracle I haven’t cracked my head open from all the idiot stuff I do. He shouldn’t be talking, right? He’s usually the reason I do stupid stuff. Me and him went to this park a few weeks ago. Oh, his name’s Jack, I’ve got two brothers and a sister, all adopted, our poor mom. Have you met him? He was at that party we met at, but he was probably passed out on the couch.”

Race took a breath and looked at Kevin expectantly. Albert had followed the entire conversation, more than used to Race when he started rambling, but Kevin didn’t have the same expertise. He looked like a deer in headlights, scrambling to find an endpoint to Race’s story. 

“Um… you’re a foster kid?” he finally settled on saying. “Or, um, you’re adopted?”

Albert didn’t approve. 

“Yeah,” Race said. “Adopted when I was eleven. Did I mention that? Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to unload on you.”

“Um, it’s okay, you didn’t,” Kevin said. “So… what happened with your brother?” Race raised an eyebrow, and Kevin elaborated. “A few weeks ago? When you were here with him?”“Oh!” Race said, and he launched back into his story like he’d never taken a pause. “So, we dragged a trampoline to the base of a tree, and he dared me to jump off a branch and land on the trampoline. We didn’t have a helmet so we just used a pillow. Honestly, that was one of the times where I thought I’d break somethin’ else, but it was just that one time when I was seven. I had a huge scratch on my leg for a couple weeks and I’ve got a scar, but it’s not that bad.”Kevin laughed awkwardly and tucked his hands under his thighs. It was then Albert noticed that Race had pulled their hands apart and was gesturing grandly with one. The other was resting on Kevin’s knee. Race was a tactile guy, and Albert was surprised the hand hadn’t made its way to Kevin’s face. 

“You talk a lot,” Kevin said. 

Race smiled. “Ain’t the first time someone’s told me that, trust me,” he said. “You should talk to my teachers. They’d probably go on tangents longer than mine about me. My math teacher doesn’t like me ‘cause I always get the answer right, but not the way I’m supposed to get it, which is fuckin’ unfa-”

“Let’s get ice cream,” Kevin cut in, standing up suddenly and grabbing Race’s sleeve to tug him up with him.

Race smiled sheepishly as his hand moved to grab Kevin’s again. Kevin stuffed his hands in his pockets pointedly. “Okay, cool. Sorry. Just let me know if I start rambling like that and I’m bein’ annoying. I’m kind of an idiot.”

“It’s fine,” Kevin said with a grin so fake it hurt to look at. The kid was getting a solid two out of ten on Albert’s scale of “People That Deserve To Hang Out With My Friends.”

“Hey, I don’t have my wallet with me,” Race said, patting his pockets. “But I can pay you back for the ice cream. It’d be the gentleman thing to do, right?” He winked, sidling up to Kevin’s side to lean on him, and Albert forced a laugh back down his throat. 

Kevin didn’t think it was funny. When Race’s elbow raised to rest on his shoulder, he moved away. “You didn’t bring your wallet?” he said, frowning. “But I didn’t bring mine. We agreed to get ice cream a couple days ago, when I asked you out, and you said you’d pay. Remember?”

Race’s face fell when Kevin stepped back. “Oh… oh,” he said, realization dawning over his face. “Fuckin’ shit. I’m sorry, Kevin,” he said, running a hand through his hair. Albert wanted to jump down and give him a hug, but that might have had something to do with the fact that his back was permanently cramped from hunching over in the tree for so long. 

Instead of forcing a smile and saying “It’s fine,” which Albert had been expecting, the frown didn’t waver on Kevin’s face. “What’s your problem, man?” he said. “Like, I don’t wanna be rude, but you’ve spent this entire time talking about yourself and you forgot about something we agreed on two days ago.”

“I… dude, I didn’t mean to,” Race tried. “Sorry if I’m being obnoxious. I have ADHD and I’ve been out of meds since last week. I forgot to tell my mom, but she’s picking them up today.”

If anything, Kevin’s scowl deepened, which just made the situation worse. Albert could read Race’s stiff shoulders and fleeting eyes like a book. “That’s not an excuse, dude. I get that you’ve got memory problems or whatever, but we’ve all got our issues. Can’t you just… I don’t know, try harder?” 

“I -”

“Forget it,” Kevin muttered. “I’m not really in the mood for ice cream, I think I’m just gonna go home. I’ll text you or something.” He clapped a hand on Race’s shoulder. “See you later, Tony.”

From the look on his face as he walked off, hands still stuffed deep in his pockets, Albert had a feeling he wouldn’t be texting. 

He waited until Kevin had completely disappeared around the corner. He’d pulled out his phone as soon as he left Race alone, thumps tapping wildly on the screen. Albert could only pray there wouldn’t be rumors about “the weird, freckled kid that never shuts up” at school on Monday. 

He jumped down from his tree, a lot less gracefully than he would’ve prefered. Race jumped a foot in the air and whipped around as Albert sweared loudly, clutching his foot. 

“Shit, I forgot you were up there,” Race said. His shoulders slumped, and he looked more like a kicked puppy than a dejected teenage boy. “Sorry you had to listen to all that. Like, me rambling and then gettin’ ditched by Kevin and whatever.”

“Shut up,” Albert said. Hearing himself out loud, he quickly backtracked, “I-I mean, you can talk as much as you want. I just don’t want you to… you’ve said sorry too much today, Racer. It’s not your fault.”He stared intently at the hole in the toe of his Converse as he was talking, and when he looked up, Race’s eyes were red. He wasn’t quite crying, but his voice cracked when he spoke.

“Yes it is.” It sounded like he’d tried to sound angry with himself, to snap out his words like a rubber band against raw skin, but he just sounded sad. “Don’t play dumb, Albie. Kevin’s right. I talked about myself too much, and I forgot about somethin’ so fuckin’ simple, and I chased him away. Did you see his face?” he demanded. “He looked at me like I was a fuckin’ alien from Area 51, and then he left.”

As much as Albert wanted to say “Good riddance to him, then,” he didn’t think it would be appreciated. He stepped forward, Race sunk his head into his shoulder.

“I’m such an idiot,” he said, words muffled in Albert’s shirt. “And I kind of wanted that ice cream, babe, not gonna lie.” 

Albert gripped the back of Race’s neck wordlessly, knowing the pressure was grounding and comforting from how often Race did it to him. “Lucky for you,” he mumbled in Race’s ear, “I always come prepared. C’mon, dude, my brother gave me twenty bucks and I’m spending all of it before I step foot in my house.”

Race smiled against his shoulder. “What would I do without you? Seriously, would I be dead? I think I’d be dead.”

“No, you just wouldn’t have stories to tell about breaking your arm with me to asshole dates.”

“He wasn’t an as-”

“Race. You told him you had ADHD, and he told you to try harder and get over it.”

“I should’ve told him before so he’d know how much work I can b-”“If I told someone I had autism and they told me to suck it up and stop whining, would you deck them or not?”

Race lifted his head, silently pursing his lips together. “Okay,” he admitted. “He was kind of an asshole.”

Albert nodded solemnly. “The asshole to end all assholes,” he said. He was just trying to make Race laugh and they both knew it, but in his defense, it was working. “C’mon,” he said, grabbing Race’s collar and ushering him towards the sidewalk. “Chocolate or vanilla?”“Both. Extra sprinkles.”

“Damn. You know I’m paying, right? Maybe you’re the asshole.”

Race laughed again, throwing his head back and an arm around Albert’s shoulders, and for the first time in an hour, all was right with Albert’s world. 

TAG LIST

@booksbroadwayandbagels @tis-my-cigar  @harrynerd-blog  @crutchieee-morris  @seizetheimagines @juliet-the-smol @got-the-east-side  @i-got-personality  @internalscreaming012  @voice-foundshoe-lost @capncrutch @thatfancyclam  @jjjudeshitposts  @orphan-with-a-stutter @disney-princess-sized  @perpetualbedheadspier @bexlynne  @we-dont-sell-papes @the-woild-is-my-what-now  @you-thinks-wrong-romeo  @pitiful-ambitions  @purplelittlepup @imjusttheoutgoingsidekick @damn-too-many-fandoms  @cattt420 @savory-n-sweet  @thedolanspineapple @racescoronas@awwwwwwdang @bencookisagod @carryingthedaveyjacobs @disasterbisexualhere @maiawakening @racetrackcook  @aw-jus-let-em-try @suddenly-im-respecsable @the-dance-boi  @jessmuell25 @intoomanyfandomstopickaname @be-more-chill-evan-hansen  @marcusisaprettygay  @insane-tomato @tomscaprisun  @seasickdolphin  @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @papesdontsellthemselves @narniasfinestavengingsociopath @findmeintheafterglow

[whrrlwind-a]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse.

fill out & repost !

tagged by:  no one! i stole it from ren <3 tagging:  anyone who wants to do it!!

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK and im too afraid to find out Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL How strictly do you follow canon?  —  pretty strictly! it’s really only towards the end of SA2 and after it where i start taking creative liberties! as whirl nearly dies himself trying (and failing) to save his shadow, and then starts going into rider’s time instead of jumping into heroes.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  you like the adventure era sonic? you hate how he sometimes handles really serious scenarios or brushes them off like nothing, as if they aren’t traumatic as shit in any way? wanna see a pretty mentally and emotionally fucked up lad struggle with handling his troubles and keep up the dark/serious theme SA2 set that sega is too cowardly to go back to in modern day? well bOY DO I HAVE THE HEDGEHOG FOR YOU. this bad boy ACTUALLY has emotions and struggles with handling them and many other things due to the position he has put himself in over the course of his life, but also doesn’t completely wear him down and stop him from being who he is! as well as dealing with the fact he and his timeline are MUCH further behind than other alternates of himself and friends. sonic “ whirl ” hedgehog is a young hero still running his way through life the way he wants like the rebellious, free-spirited teenager he is, while learning that not only is he a hero, but he’s also a person.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — quite frankly, he’s sonic. there’s a lot of them out there. he can probably be too energetic, positive, etc, or perhaps this blog focuses a little too much on his trauma and internal struggles or even the general dark theme to the point it’s a turnoff or just hard to really read. he’s also an annoying idiot to the point it’s frustrating.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — yo sonic was my fucking LIFEBLOOD as a kid. lived and breathed this franchise. sa2 was my first game ever, sonic was my fav character (and still is), so my absolute love for this specific version of him became too much to internalize sooooo here we are ; w ;

What keeps your inspiration going? —  straight up, sonic is probably my biggest comfort character to exist ever. always makes me happy, always makes me feel better when im down, etc. there’s nothing he can’t do that doesn’t make me smile, regardless of how sega treats him. being able to pour my ideas into a character i love so much to the point he becomes really personalized (and personal for me), and it’s actually something people enjoy seeing and interacting with? it gives me so much goddamn sertonin.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? Do you frequently write headcanons?  YESSSSS I CANNOT SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT WHIRL ask anyone i Do Not Shut The Fuck Up even if i don’t post abt it on tumblr Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO just bc im bad at writing them abndhjbfd Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO / SORTA. Do you accept criticism about your portrayal?  —  always!! i’m always willing to learn and improve on things, especially with the canon of some events from games and such, as i’m not 100% with everything besides SA2. all i really ask is that when receiving criticism, people are as nice as they can be with it! thanks adhd and personal trauma

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  ABSOFUCKINLUTELY I DO

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  mmmmm? mm. kind of? but also not really? like. everyone’s entitled to their own opinion ofc, i’m not gonna rip anyone apart for disagreeing with something, but like. i have adhd. i’m v hypersensitive to some things, so it can really be processed in my head the wrong way and it makes me feel bad. so i guess just....... be careful about it if you ever wanna tell me why?

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i’d probably just kinda be like “ damn that sucks bro, but thats literally not my problem, there’s a whole ton of other sonics out there bye ” bc like. i dont care? don’t even really tell me bc honestly ur just wasting ur time lmao

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — ill be the first to admit im. v attached to sonic as a whole. he means a lot to me! so going off abt how you may (generally) hate him really....... is just upsetting to me. but thats just bc im v attached to him, and there’s nothing wrong with having that opinion on him!! we all get upset when someone talks bad about something we love. all i ever ask is that try to keep it away from me, especially if it’s abt whirl in particular, bc it can really upset me and thats just not fun for anyone <:3c

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — absolutely!! i make them all the time and i even have a friend proofread some of my stuff bc of how common it is aBJDBHBJC, again i just ask if people are nice about it when pointing that stuff out to me!!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  oh fuckin yes absolutely, im tooting my own horn and i dont even care, im one of the chillest people on this fuckin planet

[kinktae]

kinktae? i think you meant the sweetest & loveliest person ever 🥺💞💓

Anonymous said: rose deserves all the love and more rt if you agree 🤠

(warning: oodles of precious and dear anons under the cut)

yooniversus said: i faqing luv u (hehe get it) 💕💕💕🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥺💕❤️💫💕💫💜💕💜💕💜💕💕💜💕💜💜💜💜 ok soddy i was just bored 

Anonymous said: i dont usually interact with fic writers but ur work is out of this world!!!!! the way you write dialogue makes it seem casual and natural flowing like how you would talk to a friend :)) connecting to the main character has never been a challenge for me, but with your writing its like i am the character instead of just some reader. i hope that you never stop writing as long as it brings you joy, and that this message makes you smile (even just a lil' bit) luv u!!

worldclasscassy said: i am so geeked over ur writing 🥰🥺

Anonymous said: uwu punch me daddy

Anonymous said: ur deada$$ one of the best writers on here, i don’t make the rules sis 🙈

into1995 said: heelo! sending all my love! 🥰 you have such a beautiful soul, please take care! we are here for you always. 💕

dejayoon said: take your time lovey! you deserve a break💜

Anonymous said: imagine waking up every day knowing ur rose...PHEW!! wish i could be that lucky 😪😪

lovesic-eunoia said: hey, sweetie. i know your anxiety has been making you feel like crAP and i'm here to tell you that it really does get better❤️, there's always gonna things that make you wanna quit trying to get better, but don't give up. anxiety doesn't rule your life, you do. i wish you the best through all of the ups and downs. you're a precious piece of life. much love ❤️❤️

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: saw u on my dash and my heart went lub dub

Anonymous said: I hope you take some time to yourself and enjoy hiatus! We love you!

evilkookie said: Your health is way more important than anything!! I wish only good and positive things for you and you feel better, take as long as you need for your Hiatus 💝💝

Anonymous said: I dont know if I'm late but take care of yourself bby! Health always comes first and I hope you'll be enjoying your time outside of tumblr! Will miss you but love you so much bby! -Bunny

miss-peys said: Hope all is well! I myself had to take a step back from school because my mental health was terrible! Hope everything is going okay in your personal life! Can’t wait for you to come back to tumblr, but please come back when YOU feel ready not because others want you to come back! Sending positive vibes your way! Can’t wait for you come back💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: Rose my darling dearest I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and I hope you’re doing well 💜💫☁️

Anonymous said: hi jared ilu xoxoxo

Anonymous said: I love u and I hope ur taking care of yourself and staying hydrated!!

googie-kook said: How are you doing lovely? Miss you loads and hope you’re feeling better! Love from London! 🇬🇧 💓💓💓💓💓

Anonymous said: hi bby! im just coming in to tell you i love you! and you are loved!! and i hope youre taking good care of yourself and doing all those good things to keep yourself happy and healthy!! and im super excited for your spooky fic soon! sending you nothing but the best !!!❤❤❤

Anonymous said: i’m really happy that you’re taking a mental break from social media(tumblr). i had to do that a couple days ago and it really helps. anyways hope you get better and you take time to heal yourself. i love youuuuu🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Anonymous said: Ur meat is huge, keep going.

Anonymous said: how are you being doing rose? hope you're well

hyzzzan said: I'm glad you're still here 🥰💜

Anonymous said: You are so good and such a cute human bean oof (are we still saying ‘oof’?) it’s really frustrating cause I can’t make u feel the intensity with which I mean it. You are so so so so good, your stories just hit different. Like next level shit. Your characters, stories, yo skills I swear if only I was half as good as you are at writing maybe I would be able to make u feel the intensity of my feelings.. I hope writing these masterpieces brings you as much joy as reading them does to me💕💕

Anonymous said: Your stories are soooo good! I am in love with them.

Anonymous said: I MISSED YOU. seeing the "hiatus" taken off your blog just made me so happy. I hope you're good 🖤 happy Halloween 🦇

Anonymous said: I'm rereading all your fics and I keep falling in love with your writing. Thank you for quality content. Also, I hope you're doing good!

Anonymous said: Hi love! I'm so so sooooooo happy you're back! Hope you had a great break and noe you're feeling better. But take your time with writing, exams come first. I still can't wait to read your new stuff tho! (On a side note, we already talked in private but I'm still shy, sorry) ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: Hi omg are you back?? I missed you 🥺

Anonymous said: rose ur writing is insanely good and whenever im having a ton of anxiety i read ur writing to calm me down so tysm for being the best ever

lorengarcia-yut

said: You're BACK! I'm so happy you're back! I really hope you are feeling good and happy. Just wanted to send you a lil welcome back message with a little love

monohoed said: Hey, hope you been feeling better? I love everything you’ve written so far and just wanted to let you know! I’ve struggled w mental health myself and I empathise ♥️♥️

sydney--chan said: I fr think I might die when you post a fic again like no cap ive missed you and your writing so mUCH🥺🥺🥺

Anonymous said: so heyyy idk how to say it buttt ily~~ ★☆~

Anonymous said: hihi rose ilu sm and i hope ur doing well, pls take care of urself bb 🥺🥺💜

Anonymous said: .........you are like so beautiful

Anonymous said: HEY IM WUV U AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!! 💕💕 I love all your work and I hope the best for you!!!

Anonymous said: ummm ma’am??? you are so beautiful and I am so gay??????

Anonymous said: I followed you on twitter and you are pretty, funny, kind, and creative. Biggest friend crush uwu

Anonymous said: Omg you should be a model. You're so gorgeous, I'm jealous. If I ever met you in real life, my self-esteem will go down. But I love you too much girl 💕

mazeyoongi said: i haven't had much time or interest in reading fics lately because i am so busy between work & college, but every time you post a new story i HAVE to read it. no natter how busy i am or what is going on, i always read your new fics. they are ALWAYS so so so amazing and you manage to keep my interest from beginning to end no matter who or what it may be based on. thank you for giving us such wonderful work. you're amazing! 💓

Anonymous said: You're so pretty I- TAKE MY HEART PLIS I MIGHT JUST MAKE A TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR YOU 🥺🥺😩😩 -Bunny

Anonymous said: wtf the twitter video, jeezus you are freaking stunning

Anonymous said: you‘re so pretty lemme suck your dick, it‘s only fair

Anonymous said: low key your facial structure is like perfect?? i'm kinda jealous?? luv u b

charlie-hatsune said: JUST FOLLOWED YOUR TWITTER AND YOU'RE SUPER PRETTY!!!

dazedaurora said: okay but like how tf is everyone around here so pretty?! you're an absolute doll 💖

i-want-to-bite-your-head-off said: I haven't been on here in a WHILE but hi hope you're doing well and ily uwu

sapphireprinces5 said: Hello!! I just wanted you to know I really love all (and I mean ALL) of your stories. I really want to be a better reader for all of you amazing writers who share their art with us. With so many authors leaving, I really want to do my part better! So, you will definitely see more from me when you update!! Excited to see what you have in store for us ❤️

Anonymous said: Omg hi lovely!!! I just wanted to tell u that you are a precious human being and I hope u know that

ktgguk said: uwu I hope you had a lovely day, don’t forget to drink plenty of water 🧸💗 keep being amazing at what you do!!!

Anonymous said: You’re so consistent through your work and everything you write is a phenomenal masterpiece! I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how do you manage to always get such a high word count per chapter. That probably sounds so dumb and I’m sorry if this wastes your time.

Anonymous said: I LOVE U SO MUCH THANK U FOR ALL UR HARD WORK IN UR WRITING AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

justaregularcrazyfangirl said: So, hm... It's not an ask but i just read what you said about my little review and i just wanted to say that you managed to make me blush �� (urgh i'm not used to do this and it shows !) Anyways, i'm happy you found my review interesting 💜 I hope you have a nice day ~ "You nice, keep going" ! (And that's my cue to go and hide somewhere !)

Anonymous said: you're an amazing writer!!!

Anonymous said: pls rose u deserve ALL the love in this universe

Anonymous said: Ma’am!! We are your friends!!! That post was SO CUTE!!! Love U!! My heart is full of love and appreciation for your cute self

Anonymous said: I love you

Anonymous said: i love your stories for one, always have ever since I found you 🥺 you give me most of my inspiration to write and let my creativity flow but it’s so dang hard actually putting the words I want on the pAGE BENDK

Anonymous said: Do you ever read your own fics and be like "Damnnn I'm good"

Anonymous said: Oh are you sick 😥 Get well soon 💜

Anonymous said: Omg you speak French too?!! Is there anything you can’t do?!?! You’re such a smart girl 😭🤧💕

Anonymous said: I think you’re really cool and I wish I could be your friend. ❤️

Anonymous said: 💜💜💜 Hey love, idk if you've already deleted the app or it'll get barried in the inevitable avalanche of asks you're about to receive but I hope you can feel the love I'm sending your way nonetheless. You're my favorite writer and there's so question, i'll be here when you get back. Take as much time as you need and I'm very proud of you for taking the necessary steps to get better. That alone takes strength. I wish you the best of luck. -🌻

Anonymous said: Life is a pendulum between your fics and your ficsrec

Anonymous said: just wanted to slide in here to say i dont really like smutty stories, but damn yours be hittin different and im obsessed, so thank u for sharing ur work with us 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: hi! i’m a reader of your work and well, I completely understand where you’re coming from. exactly. 100%. so you take your time and love yourself like you know you deserve to. I support you!

bugznot said: whenever you decide to come back we’ll be ready with open arms. remember you are powerful but you can only take so much. breaks are necessary and important and i hope you are kind to yourself in this time

Anonymous said: Leaving this message for when you’ll come back: I hope you finally start to love yourself back, you take chances cause you believe in yourself and your abilities, you leap blindly because you have faith in yourself and you know where you stand. I hope you have learnt to love yourself, to demand more of others and you for yourself, because you are worth it. I hope you come back, rejuvenated and free of all those schemes that bring you down. Love you 💕

Anonymous said: Saw your most recent post and wanted to say that I hope you feel better soon. I understand how tough it is when it feels like you’re living a lie, but not to minimize your experience, I’m sure it’ll pass and you’ll feel more comfortable with yourself. We all love you here and are patiently awaiting your return. If you celebrate it, happy holidays! Hopefully it won’t be stressful for you and you get some time to relax! 💕

Anonymous said: take as much time as you need & don’t feel like you HAVE to write just because there are people waiting for updates. your real life & health always comes first but pls know that we’ll be here for you & only want the best for you. We’ll be patiently waiting for you & understand your struggles (or at least I do 🙃). pls keep your friends around you, stay in good surroundings with positive vibes & take care of yourself (& your dog aw). sending all the love to you!!!

peachishiz said: Hey Rose my love Dw u don’t gotta answer just popping in to say I love u so much and I hope ur doing good and stuff 🌸💕

Anonymous said: hi bby, i just wanted to say that i can’t truly say ik what you’re going through, bc every circumstance is different, but i really relate to you & what you’re going through. i teared up a bit bc i’ve had the similar thoughts & feelings (and i still do) but i think being open & vulnerable about it is the first step (& hardest) so i just wanna day i’m proud of you 🥺 i wish i let you know more how much i love and appreciate your fics, but i hope the time you take for yourself is healing 💜 Luv -⭐️

Anonymous said: Hope no matter where you go or what you'll do, you'll be happy with it. Lots of love and best of luck ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous said: dude honestly , taking that step to take care of yourself makes me extremely proud and i dont even know like that. When i first moved to Miami i think i felt similar to how you do , i held a lot of resentment for myself and the life i led and its a sentiment i dont wish on the worst of my enemies. Im sorry you feel that way , but you know you have the strength to pull yourself out of your slump , and that's quite the feat on its own. Good luck and i hope happiness finds you soon. - A.L.Á

Anonymous said: heeeeey, I hope you take lots of care during ur hiatus. Stay hydrated, eat some tasty food, make yourself a priority, reach out for help when you need to, and life is like a minecraft house, sometimes it gets burned down, sometimes it gets attacked but in the end you always have the opportunity to rebuild something new, that makes you happy and satisfied. u rock, u r wonderful and amazing, ily

Anonymous said: Hi! Just wanted to say that your writing is brilliant. It’s okay to be going through a tough time. I’m proud of you for recognizing that you need a break and taking one. The year is almost over: it’s the perfect time for a lifestyle change or a new beginning. Do what you need to do. We’ll still be here. Love you!

Anonymous said: You’re doing great sweetie! Keep going ♥️♥️

Anonymous said: im not sure if you still have the app or not or if you'll ever see this but i love you 💓 & i know idk you but to see you taking steps toward loving yourself is so beautiful ! im still on that journey myself 🤷🏽‍♀️ & it gets hard but you gave me some newfound energy just now. good luck !

Anonymous said: I am so proud of you. You’re so brave for accepting the fact that you are not okay, and doing something to turn that around. Now you’re walking the path towards betterment. I won’t wish for you to not fall back into that hole, but that when you do, I hope you come out faster and stronger every time. You made my life a thousand times better through your works, I hope through this hiatus, you’ll be able to do that for yourself. I am rooting for you ❤️

sydney--chan said: Hi babie🥺 please take all the time you need for yourself. I am proud of you for taking a step back and realizing you needed change. You are very strong and I cant wait for you to come back better than ever:)

Anonymous said: Ah, baby! Just the fact that you opened up and came with this decision shows that deep inside you care for yourself and you are also really brave. YOU ARE inspirational, your friends aren't lying. So many of us can't stop being stagnant and that's ok too. But you, you are doing so much and you are handling this better than you see it yourself. You are mature enough to see that things are wrong and that you deserve to heal. Everything that's wrong is going to pass. (1/?)

Anonymous said: And the cloudy days are going to be gone. I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself as well. Treat yourself like you would treat one of the boys, for ex (I know it sounds silly but... lol). Imagine if they were feeling down and if they made mistakes. Wouldn't you forgive them? Make them see that it is ok? Wouldn't you want to cuddle and take care of them? Treat yourself like that, please. Treat yourself like you deserve to be taken care of, because you do. (2/?)

Anonymous said: Try to date yourself, you know. Take yourself on a date, buy you something nice when you can, try not to tell yourself things you wouldn't tell other person (cuz I know you are the kindest to people). And it is ok if somedays you can't handle things the best way, but you're just human and it is okay. Allow yourself to be imperfect. We are all trying hard in this life and we are all making mistakes. I am proud of you for trying. Keep trying to be better for yourself. You are precious and (3/4)

Anonymous said: I hope everything gets better for you as soon as possible. We are cheering you up, also while you're on hiatus. Come back whenever you feel like it and don't feel pressured to please others. YOU are the one who matters here and you're amazing af. We are going miss this bright star that you are but be patient with yourself and take your time. Please, seek a professional and take care of your health. You are lovely and loved. Everything goes, my love ♥♥♥♥ (4/4)

Anonymous said: I love you so damn much❤️

Anonymous said: I'm proud if you, I get that this was a hard decision to take, and you still did it. So, I'm proud of you. You finally understood that you are the n. priority, so please treat yourself like it. Even if you'll be gone for the whole year, I'm still super happy ti hear this. You deserve this, as you said yourself, you deserve the world. I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing good, but I know that you can make it better. Please, remember that you're not on your own: ask for help if you need it. Ily

lorengarcia-yut said: I just read your post and I just want let you know that we support you! Your health comes first, please take all the time you need. I feel for you, cause in a way I understand. Please take of your self! May God bless your life cause it’s gonna get better. Keep going, don’t ever give up, and please keep pushing. You deserve better than what you’re going through. Bless your heart ❤️

Anonymous said: 🌹 I don’t know if you will see this but I completely understand what you are going through. I have depression and social anxiety, and it’s so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning to go to school in a city where I don’t know anyone. I just want you to know that I will always support you and I hope that this time away will help to clear your mind of some negativity and bring you into a new year with hopefully brighter days 💜✨☀️

minigalixies said: i hope you come back feeling better, love ♡ so proud of you making the decision to put YOU first !! it’s a hard, but VERY important, decision that i hope benefits you sO MUCH !! i look forward to seeing your new posts when you feel better mentally + physically !! ♥️

Anonymous said: I hope this break provides you with everything you need. I hope life in general gets easier for you, you deserve it my love. Your mental health is way more important than providing us with content. Please take care of yourself, we'll be here for you if/when you decide to come back. I love you.

Anonymous said: hello im here to state a fact: your writing is perfect

moonchild-love-letter said: Hi, how are you? I hope you're okay. Actually, I hope you're better than okay, I hope you've been eating well, sleeping well, and spending your days chasing your bliss. Your writing is a piece of art, whenever I finish a chapter I always feel so happy and blessed to have found your blog. I hope that happiness returns to you ten folds. I hope your days are filled with love. Thank you for sharing your work. Thank you.

Anonymous said: BABY ROSE YOURE BACK!!!!! I’m ready to spend my 2020 supporting your 10/10 writing and you on your life journey. GONNA SMOTHER YOU WITH KINDNESS AND LOVE 🥰🥰

Anonymous said: i admire u so much for being confident enough to put ur mental health first. school causes me so much stress and anxiety and makes me slip back into my depression so fast. i look up to u so much. im glad ur doing what makes u happy. 🥺

Anonymous said: HAPPY NEW YEAR BBY 💙💙 YOU WERE LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW BLOGS I FOLLOWED AND YOU GOT ME INT HE FEELS SO MANY TIMES AND YOUR THEMES ARE AMAZING AND YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU YOU SMOL BBY -Bunny

tinievmin said: Okay so you’re my internet older sister now!!! Wow this is so cute 🥺🥺 Take care of your health, eat well, drink water, sleep, and be kind to yourself this year!!! Sending u love!!

Anonymous said: U ARE A BABY 😩😩😩😩😩😩

Anonymous said: WT FFFFFFF ROSE HAPPY NEW YEAR 🌟 u are backkkkk i miss u little bby 🤧💕

Anonymous said: While they say that army’s are toxic, i think I’ve never found so many people sharing one common interest with such an awareness and consciousness about complex concepts like loving yourself. I like to think that BTS deconstructed the cliché of “love yourself” into something more complex and difficult that u would pursue in life bravely, even through struggles, and not just a quote u find on aesthetic pillows. And I think you’re doing just that too with your stories and your journey. thank you💕

Anonymous said: hello! i'm a returning bts writer and so glad to see find you on here still!! i remember reading one of your earliest fics i love you

Anonymous said: You’re so talented!!

Anonymous said: hello miss rose how are you today? I thought id just come over to say hi and i love you so much you beautiful human being. I hope you and your little fur babies are doing well!💜💜💜💜

Anonymous said: hey, idk if you'll even see this, but i just wanted to say i'm in love with all of your fics. i don't even have a tumblr account, i just come to your page from google to read your stuff and see if you're doing well😳 i could say more but that robot verification keeps running out, so hope 2020 treats you well and you're an amazing writer!

pocketfullofsuga said: hey I checked who im following and it said you are one of my favorite tumblrs I mean they aint wrong though bby

Anonymous said: JUST WANTED TO SAY ILYILYILY AND I HOPE THAT THE NEW DECADE IS TREATING YOU WELL EVEN THO WE ONLY FOUR DAYS IN. ILY, STAY HEALTHY, LOVE YOURSELF. k bye 🥺🤍🕊🥰