#no one wants to associate with and is used to that and is positively effected when hiyori says she wont forget him

[serpentface]

Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.

Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)

I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)

The 'method' I used was:

-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.

I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.

-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.

-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'

-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.

-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')

-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the ñ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.

-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).

Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.

[wonder-worker]

"As for the government of the kingdom, [Edward V] had complete confidence in the peers of realm and the queen."

— Dominic Mancini, The Usurpation of Richard the Third / J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Alexander R. Brondarbit, Power Brokers and the Yorkist State, 1461-1485

"According to the Crowland continuator, [Elizabeth Woodville] seems to have taken the king's place in listening to his council immediately after Edward IV's death. It does appear that she expected to have some role in her son's kingship, and the Crowland continuator’s report of the letters sent to her by [Richard of Gloucester] indicates that she had good reason to expect to be able to work with him and the other councillors: 'the duke of Gloucester wrote the most pleasant letters to console the queen; he promised to come and offer submission, fealty and all that was due from him to his lord and king, Edward V, the first-born son of his brother the dead king and the queen'."

"[However], in what was Gloucester's first coup, Edward V was separated from his household and Woodville advisors. When the young king questioned the move, Buckingham was reported to have told the boy 'It is not in the business of women but men to govern kingdoms'. The blunt remark referred to the authority of Elizabeth Woodville as queen and the power she must have anticipated within the new political climate left by Edward IV's sudden death. [...] While the veracity of this scene is questionable*, the words attributed to the duke no doubt seemed plausible to Dominic Mancini who believed they exemplified the popular sentiment held by men [...]."

*One of Mancini's key sources seems to have been Edward V's own doctor, John Argentine, who attended to him in the Tower. It's very likely that he was the one who recounted this scene to Mancini, which suggests that it should probably be considered more credible than not.

[moe-broey]

I <3 blowing up my save files mid-playthrough or after I've beaten the game and feel aimless or I'm three hours in and incredibly indecisive and perfectionistic and have to start over Better this time or I just get really into One Idea and blow up the save for the sole purpose of achieving the One Idea and once I have it's like. Well. What was the point of that actually. And then I blow it up again

[prettieinpink]

PROCESSING YOUR EMOTIONS WITHOUT SUPPRESSING THEM - TECHNIQUES

this post is all about how to process emotions that we are uncomfortable with, safely and positively. Today, I’d like it if you’d try to implement at least one technique today!

REMINDERS

Remember that when you feel an emotion, it is your body communicating itself to you. Listen to your emotion, and understand.

All emotions are temporary, and will pass. But some can leave a more long term effect on us.

Having the skill of sitting through uncomfortable emotions calmly, and not let it impact our lives greatly will serve you well.

TECHNIQUES

STOP TECHNIQUE

S- Stop what you’re doing, pause all activities and shut off your brain.

T- Take a few deep breathes, continue until your focus is only on breathing deeply.

O- Observe your thoughts, your body language, any physical sensations and acknowledge them within you.

P- Proceed with any activity that may help you process this emotion. Meditation, journaling, stretching, talking to someone, etc.

ALL TECHNIQUE

A- Acknowledge, accept and alllow what you feel. Identify what emotion you feel, if you can’t, try to associate it with something. Sit in this feeling for awhile and truly accept it within you.

L- Link it to a circumstance or situation that may explain why you’re feeling this way. E.g ‘I feel so irritated lately, it may be because I’ve been eating sugary foods more’

L- Learn what this emotion may be telling you. There’s not much detail on this because only you know what your body needs/wants.

SELF EXPRESSION

Draw, write, compose music on what this feeling looks like, sounds like, maybe even their taste. This really helps go deep in your emotions, analyse it and then hopefully process it.

[teaboot]

Hi! Do you use spray bottles for your cat? Mine misbehaves A LOT, but I'm really scared to discipline him, as I don't want him to lose trust with me.

Do you have any tips?

I do, but I’ve only had to use it a handful of times.

The first time, he was playing too rough, and I did all my usual signals to stop- made “ow” noises, disengaged, walked away, and repeatedly said “no, ouch” out loud. When he followed me and bit my foot, I grabbed the bottle and pointed it to him where he could see it and said “no” again in a low tone. When he bit me again, I sprayed him with a small amount of clean water.

For a little while, he wouldn’t go anywhere near the bottle. Then he’d inspect it, but run away if I touched it. Now I can carry it around, but if I say “no” to something, he usually listens.

He’s MUCH more reward-motivated though, so we’ve been working on command words instead- As of last night, he is now consistently responding to “down”, though I haven’t tried it while he’s worked up yet, so I don’t know how effective it will be next time he gets too rambunctious for me.

I think it helps that I talk to him a lot, and repeatedly use simple words with distinct sounds that he can differentiate.

When he’s too close to something that could hurt him, I say “Danger” or “hot” or “hot, danger”- “Danger” is for an AREA that could hurt him that he should stay away from, and “Hot” is for an OBJECT. He likes to ignore these sometimes but it still slows him down so I can grab him.

When he’s purring or cuddling or listened very well, and when he’s eating dinner, I tell him “Good boy”, “Good”, “Good Ollie”, and “I love you”. I want these words to be positive associations I can bring up later when he’s distressed.

Command words he consistently responds to right now are “Come”, “Up”, “Down”, “Dinner”, “Paw”, and “Button”. (“Button” is the word I use to direct him to his “talking” button- they say words he understands so he can say them back to me, but the only one he knows right now is the “treat” request.)

I’ve never really trained an animal before but it’s been really fascinating learning how he thinks and communicates! It’s a lot of subtle body language that I wasn’t expecting, but it’s really rewarding when I’m cooking in the kitchen or whatever and hear a noise or gesture I know, and understand that I’m about to have a Boy land on my shoulder or use my arm as a bridge.

He’s honestly such a clever little man!

I wish I’d spent more time listening to my other cats when I had them. It makes me seriously wonder if I’d have understood them just as well or if Ollie is just somewhat uniquely skilled.

I don’t know your cat and I’ve never had an education in animal training myself, but I’d see if you and your cat can find compromises! I can’t stop Ollie from biting entirely, but I can recognize boredom now, and ask him to be gentle when he chews my fingers, and while he LOVES crawling around my fridge he knows now that he only gets á treat when he doesn’t, and when I clean it out he can play a little in it when it’s empty!

[celuere]

sometimes silence guides the mind

pairing: arlecchino x pregnant!reader

context: on a draining day, there is only one thing that can soothe the Knaves mind.

cw: domestic fluff, arle is besotted with your baby belly oh i‘m so sick, reader is in her third trimester btw

when i tell you that i am smoking domestic arle atm.

„what do you mean he was found dead.“

a mixture of disbelief and frustration slowly edged itself into the white-haired woman’s facial features as she flipped through the files scattered across her desk.

„Monsieur Wellfield was found dead this morning in his sleeping chambers. the local authorities are trying to cover up the incident as a „sudden heartattack“, but as you can see in the files…“, the subordinate gestured to the various pictures of the gruesome crime scene in front of them, „that was no heartattack. we’re dealing with an assassination.“

„indeed. it seems like the cartel of nod krai doesn’t want to be associated with the fatui in any form, given how monsieur wellfield was one of our suspects to have ties to their inner circle. they must’ve caught wind of our plan to contact them. how should be proceed, lady arlecchino?“

„doesn’t want to be associated with us, as if they are in any position to decide over such trivial matters. the tsaritsa herself wants to negotiate with their higher ups, who are they to decline a god. it‘s such arrogance and incompetence that rob me of my last nerve.“, arlecchino rubbed the bridge of her nose before waving the subordinate in front of her off, „you’re dismissed. i‘ll handle the situation accordingly myself.“

but just before the man was about to pass through the door, arlecchino spoke up, „you don‘t happen to know anything about my wife‘s whereabouts, do you?“, slowly the subordinate turned back around, scratching his neck as he recalled the memory of your last location.

„if i am not mistaken… i saw her just a few moments ago when she left the house with some of the children, picnic baskets in hand. she seemed in high spirits about the sunny weather today.“.

„then i shall be joining her. a little bit of fresh air never hurt anyone.“, and with that she rose up from her rather chaotic desk which was of little concern for her for now.

Arlecchino found you sitting underneath the cool shadows of a rather tall grown tree, just a five minute walk away from the hearth, being busy with smearing sunscreen all over foltz‘s face who did everything in his willpower to get away from your sticky hands.

„let go of me! i won‘t get sunburn, i prom- mh!“, he was shut up immediately when you wiped the remaining sunscreen over his mouth and chin before letting go of this oh so tortured soul. a rare feeling of comfort and warmth washed over the harbinger at the sight, slowly nagging away at her bad mood.

„that is not something you can promise, foltz. you will thank me once you eat enough veggies to grow older. now hop along and don‘t let me catch you pushing your siblings into the pond!“, you were still sitting with your back turned to your approaching husband when the boy sped past arlecchino and yelled a quick greeting to his father as he ran by, causing you turn around - well, at least you tried turning around. when you happen to be eight months into your pregnancy, even the smallest things turn into a challenge.

„arle…? when did you get here?“, the glimmer of love blitzing up in your eyes as she sat down next to you on the picnic blanket made her almost immediately forget about all the troubles plaguing her mind.

„just now. paperwork seems to have a suffocating effect on me lately, i thought it‘d be a good idea to join my wife for a break…“, arle slowly leaned in to pepper a soft kiss onto your cheek before you felt her hand roaming over your baby belly before she turns her whole attention towards it.

„ah, well in that case my husband is free spend her free time with me… and her baby…“, a smile so soft and lovingly tugged at your lips, the bare sight caused her heart to swell inside her chest at the realization of the life growing in your belly. not just any life. her daughter. she will probably never wrap her hand around how this little life you are nurturing in your belly right now is her own child. 

„mhm… with my wife and baby…“, a heavy sigh escaped her lungs as she carefully and gently laid her head down on your baby bump. well, you long grew out of the term „bump“ but you still think it‘s an adorable term to use. 

„my… hard day, ma cherie…?“, gently running your fingers through her soft strands, you allowed your nails to scratch over the scalp and forcing a pleased hum from her lips.

„mhm… very much… but such insignificant things aren’t of much importance to me at the moment…“, with one hand still stroking over your belly, the knave allowed herself to shut her eyes at the sensation from your nails caressing her scalp. there were cursed things in her life. she herself was a wandering curse but you seemed to cool the boiling flames underneath her marked skin, cool the terrorizing thoughts gnawing at the back of her mind.

„celestia above… you are so enchanting… i can‘t seem to keep myself together…“, pressing her lips now softly to your tummy, you couldn’t help but feel your heart speeding up. especially when the kisses didnt seem to stop.

ever since you found out about upcoming addition to your life, arlecchino has been nothing but comforting and accommodating to you. you need a massage at the end of a rough day? or help with showering? your husband is at your beck and call. even when you wake her up in the middle of the night because one of your cravings  rendered you sleepless. she‘d still get up and put herself into the kitchen at 2am. she was perfect. inside and out. which wasn‘t helping your baby fever at all, even tho one would think being pregnant would soothe the symptoms. it was quite the opposite with her.

„why don‘t you take a little powernap then, hm..?“

„a powernap…? hm… fine. i will indulge in twenty minutes of rest.“

you did not wake her up after twenty minutes.

[anjelicawrites]

John's daughter comes as a suprise. After many years of trying, you two accepted the fact that no child will bless your lives. And that's when you fall pregnant. Your daughter grows up headstrong and inquisitive, a dog with a bone and no intention to drop it. John's father expects her to join the military: there's always been a Price serving the Crown. John begs to differ: his family didn't truly leave him with a say in the matter of his career, he's not going to go down the same path. The fallout is apocalyptic but John is stubborn, he cares more about your daughter's happiness than stupid traditions. She becomes an investigative journalist. Most of the times she calls from only God knows where and John's BP skyrockets at the thought of harm befalling her, despite having trained her himself in self defense.

Simon's daughter is a mistake baby. The two of you dated for a while, then he was deployed and couldn't contact you for a long time, which led you to believe he wasn't truly interested in you. When the two lines on the test appeared, you decided to keep the child and to not tell him. Simon didn't mean to disappear the way he did, once he was back he imagined you wouldn't want anything to do with him after so long. Picture his surprise when he stumbles upon you and your baby bump; it doesn't take him too long to do the math in his head and almost have a heart attack. He wants to be a part of the child's life, he's not that kind of bastard, despite his fear to be an abusive piece of shit the way his father had been. Your beloved daughter grows up to be the epitome of femininity, a successful food influencer who, because she is such a girly girl, is rarely taken seriously at first, which is unfortunate, since her dad taught her how to use a knife in the most effective way.

Kyle's daughter is a wanted and adored child. He couldn't imagine that, by accompanying his sister to the only hairdresser free, the day her usual one ghosted her, he would return home with your number in his pocket. Or that you would stick around, despite his hectic job. When you tell him you want to try for a baby he's elated and is truly in seventh heaven when the test comes back positive. You work in television most of the times and your daughter is so pretty that you get many proposals to have her act in commercials or small parts in TV series. Kyle isn't that convinced but you will always be there, know that world enough to keep her safe, plus this could be a way to set aside money for her sixth form and university. Kyle should have known that his perchant for danger would trickle down to her: she works in the TV and movies all right, as a stunt woman. He's going to have a coronary before he turns fifty.

Johnny's daughter is not planned, nor she's a mistake. You and him decided to let Mother Nature do her thing, if you get pregnant you will, if not, you two will be the weird uncle/aunt duo for his team mates daughters: there's nothing more fun than see the scowl on Simon's face when you two spoil his lil' girl rotten (and no, she can't have a pony for her birthday, according to him). Johnny is attentive throughout the pregnancy, his favourite way to spend time is painting on your tenting belly, he laughs every time the baby kicks against his hand. It doesn't come as a surprise that your daughter becomes an artist, she usually works with associations that fight gangs and try to offer young, troubled kids, another chance at life and a way out if they're already initiated. Suffice to say, there are many dangerous people who have it out on her, but you and Johnny shouldn't be anxious "The house and the studio are both rigged". As if that helps Johnny sleep at night. He might ask his captain which brand of BP medication he's on these days.

[pinkaditty]

high libido jiro headcanon actually has me doing front flips omlll

this is actually a great time 2 share: im writing a long hc post about the ghouls and what i believe their sexual behaviors would be. this was partially inspired by Obey Me!, due to the sins attributing to certain characters manifesting in different ways. for example, both Solomon and Asmodeus have the sin of Lust, right? however, Asmodeus's sin manifests as physical lust, whereas Solomon's manifests as a lust for knowledge. I was thinking about how the ghouls essentially make pacts with demons, and demons typically are tied to a sin, right? i used the classic Seven Deadly Sins, and attributed a sin to each ghoul. im writing their sexual behaviors based off of those sins and how they manifest.

Sneak peek below (edited to be more concise, will be lengthier when officially posted, posting ONE character per house for this, please note that their blurbs are incomplete and i haven't posted all i have written):

I KNOW THIS IS LENGTHY BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO READ TO UNDERSTAND:

becoming a ghoul, as stated in the story, significantly increases your physical ability, battle prowess, and gives you a “stigma”, or a pact-based power. ghouls outrank humans in strength, resilience, and!!! aggression. while some ghouls are better-natured than others, it goes without saying that they all experience an increase in aggressive behaviors. this should be obvious, but when making a pact with a demon (fictionally speaking!!), i imagine that making such pacts with beings that are avatars of “sin” increases the desire to sin and decreases aversion to it. i like to think that indulging in sin becomes not exactly “necessary”, but vital in the sense that they can live without it but it makes human-esque day-to-day living harder. eventually the "sin" cravings get out of control and they have to indulge in some sort of sin, namely the sin they are the most associated with, because they “devoured” the demons they made pacts with. for example, say jin made a pact with a demon that specialized in sloth. when his cravings get out of control, he needs to indulge in sleeping in all day (or doing something similar) at least once. note that, like in Obey Me!, the sins may manifest differently. for example, i believe both jin and ren made pacts with demons that are sloth-based, but jin’s sin manifests in sleeping while ren’s manifests in avoidance.

as far as sexual behavior goes, the sins the ghouls participate in affect their sexual behavior, i think, just as they affect their personality and societal behaviors and interactions. for example, sloth-based ghouls may prefer doing little work during sex or have a preference for low effort positions; whereas glutton-based ghouls may prefer doing as much as possible, in as many positions possible, for as long as possible, regardless of how physically strenuous.

one more hc: it isn’t impossible, but it is excruciatingly tough for a ghoul to avoid (for lack of a better word) a creampie, if you will, when not wearing a condom. they are ghouls after all, and as such, will experience more aggressive and carnal sexual behaviors. contraception drugs with immediate effects are sold at the campus store LMFAOAOAOOA

Tohma Ishibashi (Greed-based):

this guy is power-hungry i fear, and thank goodness his boss is a sloth! he can pick up the leadership role all he wants. 

this guy is greedy bc he wants power for the sake of having it. y’know that trope where it’s really the king’s advisor pulling the strings? yea.

he wants more. he wants more. he wants more. 

without indulging myself too terribly much… if jin, alan, or haku had you, tohma would covet you even more than he already would if you were still single.

haha what? nevermind.

anyways we all already know how he indulges in his greed. how does he do so sexually?

in simple terms he wants more of everything from you

you suck him off? okay do it again. 

you came on his tongue? okay do it again. 

you clench your walls tight around his cock to make him cum faster? okay, after he recovers, do it again.

there can never be too much. if anything, there’s never enough.

Leo Kurosagi (Envy-based):

not gonna lie i kinda flip-flopped between greed and envy for him

but ultimately i think envy suits him best

i think envy is what spurs most, if not all, of his harmful or demeaning actions towards others

he’s jealous! god forbid someone do something better than he does. they’re guaranteed to become his next target. 

and it’s always personal, no matter how hard he tries to convince himself otherwise

because of this, i think he’d be selfish during sex

he wants more pleasure than his partner out of something, and if he’s not being directly stimulated, he wants something beneficial to him out of it

that said, he’s easy (i say this with love)

so it’s never a problem to convince him to do what you want, so long as you pay him back with interest later

its all about the trade! but lowkey he’s happy to do anything you ask, so long as you pay attention to him specifically. keep your eyes on him while he’s giving you head and i promise he’ll cum untouched.

Haru Sagara (Glutton-based):

my gluttony king…<3

can’t explain it i just feel it

he’s not greedy bc greed is wanting something for the sake of having it, while gluttony is wanting something for the pleasure of consuming it

consider him at Rui’s bar. always drinking too much.

consider him in his dorm. always working too much.

but does he enjoy it? yea. absolutely. even when he gripes he never says he’d rather do something else. 

he does it because it gives him pleasure, regardless of what way, which is what makes me believe he’s glutton-based

i think this guy’s a masochist that likes ass im not gonna hold y’all.

he hardly pays his own pain any mind, and if anything, seems to enjoy putting himself in pain for attention (more gluttony hints, he loves consuming attention)

and has not only brought up being smacked on the ass himself, but has smacked someone’s ass in the story. 

he also just repeatedly brings up ass regardless of whether or not the conversation had anything to do with it. 

he’s a horny guy i fear. i dunno. i just feel it. why do you think he likes those rabbit-like animals so much? he’s basically one himself. sex-loving freak (/affectionate!!).

he likes to go more than one round, and probably recovers quicker than most. 

once you’ve gone one round, unless this was a quickie in the kitchen while he’s making dinner or even in his room while Ren watches Peekaboo, you can expect at least one more, and at most four more. 

he likes quickies actually, let me just put that out there

Romeo Lucci (Pride-based):

you would THINK greed, i know, i get it, but i think that greed is just part of his personality. he’s just like that. PRIDE is the sin of the demon he devoured.

he wants you shivering in his presence. it fuels his ego. 

i don’t think he cares for the money as much as he cares about his ego. i think the income the casino makes fuels his ego as the guy running it, so he always wants record profits to fuel his ego.

does that make sense? like, sure, the casino makes money and all, but for romeo, it’s more about ego than monetary gain.

why do you think he wants everybody calling him “fico” and brags about his high end products and complains when even a single thing doesn’t go his way?

its all ego, that’s why.

that said, boy i hope you’re prepared to feed his ego when you finally screw him.

has a major praise kink because of it

tell him how pretty he is, pounding into you! he’ll try not to smile like a drunken freak.

Haku Kusanagi (Lust-based):

MY FAVVVV OUUUUGHGHHGHGHHHHHHH MY FAVVVVVVVVV

haru makes a close 2nd place if u couldn’t tell. but this guy?? nnnmmmmffffghghhhh…

he seems so incredibly normal and im not saying he’s not but im saying he has a much stronger libido than others around him. like, incubus strength.

rather than lust for attention or knowledge or something else, he literally lusts for sex. he’s physical lust-based. 

to him, it kind of sucks. he’s not super fond of it. i mean, what kind of future priest gets boners this frequently? come on man. 

at the same time, though, he can’t say it’s… all bad. its exhilarating in a way, and he kind of likes being horny all the damn time. 

to be clear, it’s not ALL the time… just relatively often. 

he’s a little conflicted and overall has mixed feelings on it. 

anyone complimenting his looks, which happens often (as seen in Hotarubi’s story), can just get him hard randomly.

god forbid you compliment him, even once. he’s rock hard immediately. it’s embarrassing.

thankfully though, he does an excellent job at hiding it. being used to it has it’s perks.

he’s abnormally good at hiding his arousal though, like you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you pressed yourself directly against his crotch. 

when the cravings get bad, however… he can’t hide it anymore. thankfully though, a very long, very self-indulgent jack off session that lasts a day will stave it off. 

once he has you, though… ohohohohoooo boy. 

you end up spending more time at hotarubi than you do in the chapel

you’re always sleeping over. you’re always waking up with hickeys. you’re always doing the walk of shame the following morning.

Rui Mizuki (Glutton-based):

not going to hold you, this one should be obvious

this is rui we’re talking about. the touch-starved, flirty womanizer. what do you think he’s going to constantly want more of for the pleasure of consuming it?

hell, i like to believe that prior to his curse, he was a super touchy guy. he loved to hug people or perform small acts of intimacy, like ruffling someone’s hair or rubbing their arms or holding their hands. he loved that! and he’s been robbed of it.

he is a pure glutton for touch, i know it.

(we are going to act like theoretically you can fuck him)

this said: do not let your hands leave him during sex. don’t!

something about hands in particular. how dearly he has missed and craved the simplest form of contact: via hands

he will be desperate to touch you, all over, with his hands, and he wants you to feel the same

the sex will be bareback. sorry.

Jiro Kirisaki (Sloth-based):

high libido king. low energy king.

the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!

i theorize it’s not just his illness that tears him apart, it’s also his sin of sloth

since he doesn’t indulge in it much (and isn’t really allowed to), his body oftentimes shuts down involuntarily to preserve itself, yk?

this being said…

i like to think he has an abnormally high libido

but he can’t often contribute time to it, what with him being so busy with research he hardly showers daily AND him being sick AND him needing to indulge in sloth. he barely has the time to jack off, really.

during sex, he’s generally pretty malleable to whatever you want, granted he doesn’t have to work too hard. 

will he blow your back out? sure! will he start out slow thrusting until he’s close and then speed up the pace to blow your back out? yea.

he can only go one round sorry! you’re not getting much out of him. but, surprisingly, he recovers quicker than most. so if, after an hour or so, you wanted to go again…

this was supposed 2 be a sneak peek but i think i did too much lmfao???

lowkey i was embarrassed 2 post this. this is the rawest stage of my work. straight from the brain and pure headcanon at that.

if u want 2 be tagged when this post is completed, let me know!

questions, comments, or even concerns? let me know!! and, of course, do let me know if you enjoyed the sneak peek at all.

EDIT: why is my brainslop getting likes lol? anyways I edit this 2 tag: @cupcakesmoothie and @aayakashii I put content of ur favs in this post and forgot 2 tag y'all 🫡 shame on me

[m1zisu4]

on sua and appearance

sua is shown to be sensitive about her appearance regardless of the intention or content of the comments directed at her. in official material, she becomes depressed and self-conscious when a classmate compliments her on her small face

the way the compliment is phrased bothers sua, because its intended effect occurs by way of comparison. generosity to the recipient depends on the speaker's self-criticism. the compliment elevates sua while sinking the speaker's status, which reminds sua of her relationship with her sisters—in a competitive environment where nigeh's favor was currency used to purchase social standing and to avoid punishment, positive feedback incurred their jealousy. sua apologizes to her classmate and takes responsibility for her perceived negative feelings about her own failure (having a large face), which echoes the ways she was made responsible for her sisters' "shortcomings" and resultant anger. sua's success threatened their standing, and they made her the subject of abuse in both anticipation and retaliation of their displacement.

i took sua's classmate's comment "i was trying to cheer you up" as her predicting that sua would be upset by the photo due to her sensitivty about her appearance. her compliment is an attempt to accommodate sua's emotional needs. however, it falls short because sua is tight-lipped about her relationships with her sisters and with nigeh and the breadth of the damage it does to her psyche. even positive comments dredge up memories of her sisters' harsh criticisms. there is no way for her to anticipate sua's true needs because she doesn't share them. this is a pattern seen also in her relationship with mizi; even when she's jealous over till and ivan taking mizi's attention, she refuses to admit it, and mizi has to guess what she's done to upset her. while it's almost certain sua never explicitly divulged her sensitivity (especially to someone outside the main group), i do find it plausible that it was readily observed by her classmates in a school wherein everyone is constantly together.

sua's older sister implements her knowledge of sua's sensitivty as a tool to foster her dependence on her (sua says, "back then, you were all i had. and that's why you scared me"). i won't get into it now but i really believe that it was, in some part, because she wanted to protect her sister from the horrors of the garden (though this love is complicated by jealousy, possessiveness, and deep resentment). she understand that sua relies on her, and specifically remarks on her appearance and physical habits when she mentions mizi to remind sua of that reliance. she comments that sua is "stupid" and "unkempt," disorderly and poorly groomed. she points out one of sua's nervous habits and implies that it diminishes her value—that her truest, most natural self is a blight to be masked or erased. sua becomes aware of herself here, and further constructs her persona by carefully regulating her self-expression. by forcing an association between hope (sua's aspiration to meet mizi, her view of their mother as "happy" or pleased) and fear (criticism of her appearance, reminders of death), sua's sister sets the groundwork for sua's habits of being closed-off, withholding, and possessive of her few joys

by the comic's end, sua insists that anakt garden wasn't the hell her sister proposed it was, because mizi loved her there. sua pities her sister because she never experienced the warmth real love gave her, even if sua herself met a violent demise. tamsyn muir's "it's finished, it's done. you can't take loved away," etc etc

shoutout to the GOAT whatafruit for translation!

[ms-demeanor]

Is hypnotherapy on your psudomedicine shitlist or do you think it has validity? (To be clear, I'm not talking about 'hypnotic memory recovery' which is proven to be false)

It's worked for me and some other people I know, but I've also heard some people say it doesn't work.

I very badly want it to be on my shitlist but it gets slotted in next to meditation on the shelf labeled "infuriatingly, sometimes believing something hard enough makes it work." Some kinds of hypnosis seem to reliably create altered mental states that allow people who enter those states to internalize and process things that they might otherwise struggle with; I see this as somewhat analogous to, like, using mushrooms to feel a deeper connection to a shared sense of humanity or something along those lines. It does seem to have some reliably measurable effects but how well it works varies wildly from person to person is basically my take, which makes sense to me because I'm pretty sure hypnosis is just, like, extremely focused guided meditation.

Yesterday someone brought up an example saying that they had heard that a relatively recent study from a trustworthy scientific organization had proved the existence of one of the primary acupuncture meridians; searches for the name of the meridian, the name of the institution, searches for studies with those terms, searches for those terms and "proof", searches for only the meridian and scientific study only turned up low-quality studies that were exclusively from either acupuncture or alternative medicine journals.

A search for "hypnosis study" immediately turns up recent articles on the effectiveness of hypnosis from the American Psychological Association, Stanford University, mainstream behavioral journals, and discussion of at least one experiment that has been replicated by multiple people testing the validity of hypnosis (in multiple experiments on different groups of hypnotizable people, the stroop effect is noticeably mitigated by hypnotic suggestion). None of that is evidence that hypnosis "works" but it is evidence that something is actually happening there that *could* prove to be effective.

I'm still pretty skeptical, but there's enough evidence of an effect to say that it's not pure bullshit. Like I'll say that chiropractic is bullshit (subluxations don't cause asthma even if none of the chiros involved believe in ghosts; it's unscientific and wrong regardless of the origins) but note that I never said herbalism was bullshit - just that it's on my shit list and it's dangerous - many many many herbal treatments DO have effects and that's why it can be dangerous, doses and interactions are unpredictable.

I think that hypnosis is probably not inherently dangerous, and it seems like there may be some measurable positive effects, and even though it SEEMS really fake to me enough serious people have done enough serious looking into it that I don't feel comfortable calling it fake-like-souls-are-fake; it doesn't appear to be exclusively based on magical thinking and it has a lot in common with other altered states that people are capable of putting themselves into voluntarily through a variety of means.

So I guess tick the box for "I'm suspicious and skeptical but could be convinced if presented with enough high quality evidence, which I think it is likely possible to produce."

So it's not on my shit list but if I found out that someone I loved was using hypnosis as a treatment I'd be doing a deep dive on the person providing the hypnosis to figure out if they were a charlatan.

[please1mistress]

Warning hypnotic covert language and flashing art that may induce a hypnotic trance without you being aware of it

Ah, the elusive blogger emerges from the digital depths, armed with a fresh spark of inspiration! It's like spotting a rare creature in the wild, one that usually prefers the quiet comfort of scrolling through the endless forest of images. But beware, dear readers, for when the inspiration strikes, a flurry of original content is sure to follow, raining down upon your feeds like a delightful storm of creativity. So keep your eyes peeled and your 'like' buttons ready, because when this blogger gets inspired, it's nothing short of a content extravaganza!

While scrolling this time it struck me that hypnosis isn't really sleep. It's a state of focused attention, heightened suggestibility, and vivid fantasies. People in hypnosis can seem zoned out or in a trance, but they're not asleep. They're actually in a state of deep relaxation and their brain activity reflects this, showing a receptiveness to new ideas and suggestions. This is why hypnosis can be so effective since it taps into the power of the subconscious mind to effect positive change. While it's often used as a therapeutic tool to improve sleep quality, it doesn't induce sleep itself; rather, it helps to prepare the mind and body for restful slumber.

you could be in a light trance as you read this because as you read this your mind is so focused on my words, that it's easy to let yourself relax into the things I say. The concept of a light trance is quite fascinating, often associated with a state of focused attention or absorption in an activity. It's similar to the experience of losing oneself in a good book or being engrossed in a hobby, where the world fades away and one's concentration is honed to a fine point. This state of mind can be beneficial for various mental processes, enhancing creativity, problem-solving abilities, and learning efficiency. It's a natural and safe phenomenon that many people experience regularly without even realizing it.

The beauty of reading lies in the magical dance of words, where one leads seamlessly to another, crafting a tapestry of meaning and imagination. As you read, each word acts as a stepping stone, guiding you through a river of narrative and knowledge. It's a journey that begins with a single word, unfolding into sentences, paragraphs, and chapters, each one building upon the last. making you anticipate what will come next, it heightens your focus, so it's easy for your mind to just relax into the things I am saying. Soon you are so focused that your mind isn't thinking of anything but my words. wanting to focus deeper on where I will guide you.

like being the subject of a hypnotist, you follow and feel your mind surrender to the words. The power of words is truly mesmerizing, isn't it? yes, it is, and you find that you felt the yes in your mind as you read my question, because you are now in a light trance, noticing your breathing has slowed and your focus is now fixated on my words, and the way my words are echoing in your mind. You want to be told what to do, how to think, you want to become more submissive and allow yourself not to think, don't you?

YES

[thecrowroad]

An assortment of Crow and Spite headcanons:

Zevran’s working over of House Arainai triggered the succession crisis that claimed Lucanis and Illario’s families. The deaths of six 8th Talons in short order caused a lot of instability within Crow society. That instability opened up a lot of opportunity for advancement for both the smaller Crow Houses and the Talon houses. Which lead to a lot of murder.

As heir of House Dellamorte and the presumptive next First Talon, Lucanis did the full syllabus of Crow training, in exhaustive detail. Including the seduction training. While it’s not his forte, he can turn it on for contracts - but he absolutely shuts down when he uses those techniques on someone he actually cares for. It wasn’t (just) Spite that made him need to clear his head after the almost-kiss, it was nearly using moves he associates with targets on Rook.

The things Lucanis finds normal are a source of perpetual morbid fascination for everyone else who didn’t grow up at the sharp end of a crime syndicate. He was first recorded as assisting on a contract at 5 years old - no one looks twice at a tired parent dealing with a fractious kid, or expects the kid to be tasked with dripping the poison in the right glass. The Crows have never shied away from using children.

Post-game, the first thing Lucanis does, once he’s back in Treviso and the dust has settled is to sit down with Viago and Teia and work out how they’re going to manage one of them taking over as First Talon without Caterina having them all assassinated with extreme prejudice. Because while the Seat of First Talon has been Delamorte for generations and almost his entire family died to make sure it stayed in the family… It’s not important to Lucanis. He can do the job and do it well (Caterina is a lot of things, but a woman who didn’t bend to the death of all her children is not a misty-eyed sentimentalist). He just doesn’t want it, and after what he’s been through, he just wants to retire quietly to a cafe somewhere sunny and take the occasional contract his negotiator has convinced to pay his god-killer rates.

As part of the negotiations, Lucanis and Teia make Viago swear an oath to not freelance his way back into the succession. It’s just not worth it, and Teia has better things to do with her life than queening.

I’m not convinced Spite is actually a demon. He’s a bitchy spirit of Determination. Firstly - he doesn’t actually do anything spiteful. Fucking up Zara’s plans for Lucanis isn’t spiteful, nor is losing his rag at Illario for kill-stealing - that’s determination to survive, and determination thwarted. Secondly - just about everyone who addresses Spite personally calls him a spirit of determination. If a demon is a corrupted spirit, it seems that Spite is as most a little twisted.

On the positive effects of spirit possession, Anders says “I cannot tell you how good it feels for a spirit to fulfill its function. The waiting is over. I am finally seeking justice. And he is exultant. There is no ecstasy humankind can feel to match." And Wynne describes her possession by a spirit of faith as comforting "It is like being held close, cradled...". At the most minor level, possession by a contented Spite when he’s crossing stuff off his personal to-do list has to be a glorious cascade of dopamine rushes. Just imagine what achieving the big goals feels like.

[gansey-like]

Hey so this is super scary

Meta on Tuesday announced a set of changes to its content moderation practices that would effectively put an end to its longstanding fact-checking program, a policy instituted to curtail the spread of misinformation across its social media apps.

The reversal of the years-old policy is a stark sign of how the company is repositioning itself for the Trump era. Meta described the changes with the language of a mea culpa, saying that the company had strayed too far from its values over the prior decade.

“We want to undo the mission creep that has made our rules too restrictive and too prone to over-enforcement,” Joel Kaplan, Meta’s newly installed global policy chief, said in a statement.

Instead of using news organizations and other third-party groups, Meta, which owns Facebook, Instagram and Threads, will rely on users to add notes or corrections to posts that may contain false or misleading information.

Mark Zuckerberg, Meta’s chief executive, said in a video that the new protocol, which will begin in the United States in the coming months, is similar to the one used by X, called Community Notes.

“It’s time to get back to our roots around free expression,” Mr. Zuckerberg said. The company’s current fact-checking system, he added, had “reached a point where it’s just too many mistakes and too much censorship.”

Mr. Zuckerberg conceded that there would be more “bad stuff” on the platform as a result of the decision. “The reality is that this is a trade-off,” he said. “It means that we’re going to catch less bad stuff, but we’ll also reduce the number of innocent people’s posts and accounts that we accidentally take down."

Elon Musk has relied on Community Notes to flag misleading posts on X. Since taking over the social network, Mr. Musk, a major Trump donor, has increasingly positioned X as the platform behind the new Trump presidency.

Meta’s move is likely to please the administration of President-elect Donald J. Trump and its conservative allies, many of whom have disliked Meta’s practice of adding disclaimers or warnings to questionable or false posts. Mr. Trump has long railed against Mr. Zuckerberg, claiming the fact-checking feature treated posts by conservative users unfairly.

Since Mr. Trump won a second term in November, Meta has moved swiftly to try to repair the strained relationships he and his company have with conservatives.

Mr. Zuckerberg noted that “recent elections” felt like a “cultural tipping point towards once again prioritizing speech.”

In late November, Mr. Zuckerberg dined with Mr. Trump at Mar-a-Lago, where he also met with his secretary of state pick, Marco Rubio. Meta donated $1 million to support Mr. Trump’s inauguration in December. Last week, Mr. Zuckerberg elevated Mr. Kaplan, a longtime conservative and the highest-ranking Meta executive closest to the Republican Party, to the company’s most senior policy role. And on Monday, Mr. Zuckerberg announced that Dana White, the head of the Ultimate Fighting Championship and a close ally of Mr. Trump’s, would join Meta’s board.

Meta executives recently gave a heads-up to Trump officials about the change in policy, according to a person with knowledge of the conversations who spoke on condition of anonymity. The fact-checking announcement coincided with an appearance by Mr. Kaplan on “Fox & Friends,” a favorite show of Mr. Trump. He told the hosts of the morning show popular with conservatives that there was “too much political bias” in the fact-checking program.

The change brings an end to a practice the company started eight years ago, in the weeks after Mr. Trump’s election in 2016. At the time, Facebook was under fire for the unchecked dissemination of misinformation spread across its network, including posts from foreign governments angling to sow discord among the American public.

As a result of enormous public pressure, Mr. Zuckerberg turned to outside organizations like The Associated Press, ABC News and the fact-checking site Snopes, along with other global organizations vetted by the International Fact-Checking Network, to comb over potentially false or misleading posts on Facebook and Instagram and rule whether they needed to be annotated or removed.

Among the changes, Mr. Zuckerberg said, will be to “remove restrictions on topics like immigration and gender that are out of touch with mainstream discourse.” He also said that the trust and safety and content moderation teams would be moved from California, with the U.S. content review shifting to Texas. That would “help remove the concern than biased employees are overly censoring content,” he added.

[theambitiouswoman]

11 Lessons from the book Atomic Habits 🌟

"Atomic Habits" focuses on incorporating small, consistent habits into our lives to bring about significant change over time. The book introduces a four-step model for building habits, emphasizing cues, cravings, responses, and rewards. It also guides you in overcoming bad habits and self-limiting beliefs, demonstrating how simple habits can lead to substantial progress toward our goals.

Lesson 1: Habits Over Hobbies: You are not inherently bad at your hobbies. Instead, it's the lack of consistent habits that has held you back.

Lesson 2: Identity Matters: Our self-image greatly influences our habits. While it's important, you shouldn't let it hinder your growth.

Lesson 3: Stacking Habits: The concept of habit stacking involves adding a new behavior to an existing habit, which can help you build a more effective morning routine.

Lesson 4: Embrace the System: Rather than solely focusing on goals, it's important to love the process—the journey itself. It's about embracing the system that leads to progress.

Lesson 5: Something is Better Than Nothing: Even small efforts are valuable. The "Two-Minute Rule" encourages starting new habits that take less than two minutes.

Lesson 6: Overcoming Boredom: Staying motivated in habits requires keeping them interesting and within the right level of challenge. "The Goldilocks Rule" emphasizes that tasks on the edge of our abilities are most motivating. Habits won't always be exciting, and that's okay.

Lesson 7: Bouncing Back from Misses: Missing a habit occasionally is normal, but missing it twice can turn into a new habit. The key is to rebound quickly, maintaining the compound gains from previous good days.

Lesson 8: Shaping Your Potential: Our genes affect what we're good at and the chances we get. Instead of feeling stuck by genes, we should use our strengths. Special traits are like superpowers. Questions in the chapter help us find what we care about. Quotes remind us to focus on self-improvement, not comparing. Genes alone don't bring success; effort matters. Genes give hints, but we shape our success by using our strengths.

Lesson 9: Creating a Supportive Environment: Our surroundings are important. If we change our environment to match the habits we want, we're more likely to succeed. By setting up our space to help our habits, we can make good habits easier. People often limit themselves by thinking they can't do better. He also says that just luck doesn't explain success – hard work does. Whether it's moving stuff around or using visual reminders, these changes can really help us succeed in the long run.

Lesson 10: Creating or Breaking Habits: The Four Steps

These four steps are the foundation upon which many of his ideas are built. They are not only applicable to creating positive habits but also to breaking negative ones.

Cue: This is the trigger that initiates a behavior. It can be a specific time, location, emotional state, or preceding action that prompts your brain to start a habit.

Craving: Craving is the motivation or desire behind a habit. It's the feeling that drives you to engage in the behavior triggered by the cue. It's important to understand the underlying craving to effectively change a habit.

Response: Response refers to the actual behavior that you perform as a result of the cue and craving. This is the action that you take in response to the trigger and motivation.

Reward: Rewards are the positive outcomes or feelings that you associate with completing the habit. They reinforce the habit loop by making you more likely to repeat the behavior in the future.

He explains that these four steps form a habit loop, where each step is interconnected. The loop starts with a cue, followed by craving, which leads to a response, and ultimately ends with a reward. If any part of this loop isn't satisfying, the habit is less likely to stick.

Lesson 11: Success is a product of daily habits and overnight success is not overnight:

Success is not a result of overnight transformations but is instead rooted in the daily habits we cultivate. By recognizing the power of consistent, incremental actions, we can build a solid foundation for lasting success. This perspective challenges the allure of instant success and encourages us to focus on the journey of continuous improvement through daily habits.

[high-priestess-house]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙: 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑 𝕰𝖓𝖊𝖗𝖌𝖞

In the realm of magic, one principle stands above the rest: the power of intent. At its core, intent is the driving force behind every spell, ritual, and magical endeavor. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or just beginning your journey, understanding and harnessing the power of your intent can profoundly enhance your magical practice.

What is Intent in Magic?

Intent is the focused desire and purpose you infuse into your magical workings. It is the clear, conscious will you project into the universe to manifest a specific outcome. Think of intent as the blueprint for your magic—it gives direction and purpose to your energy, guiding it toward your desired goal.

Why Intent Matters

Clarity and Focus: A clear intent provides a focal point for your magical energy. Without a well-defined goal, your energy can scatter, diluting its effectiveness. Like an archer aiming at a target, your intent narrows your focus, ensuring your energy hits its mark

Alignment with the Universe: When your intent is clear, you align yourself with the natural flow of universal energy. This alignment amplifies your power, making it easier for the universe to respond to your wishes. It’s like tuning into the right frequency on a radio—when you’re on the right channel, everything comes through more clearly.

Empowerment and Confidence: Knowing what you want and why you want it strengthens your confidence. This self-assuredness not only boosts your magical prowess but also enhances your overall sense of empowerment in life.

How to Harness the Power of Intent

Define Your Goal: Before casting any spell or performing a ritual, take time to clearly define your goal. What do you want to achieve? Be specific. Instead of saying, “I want to be happy,” you might say, “I want to find joy and contentment in my daily life.”

Visualize Your Desire: Visualization is a powerful tool for focusing your intent. Close your eyes and vividly imagine the outcome you desire. Engage all your senses—see it, hear it, feel it, smell it, and even taste it if applicable. The more detailed your visualization, the stronger your intent.

Use Affirmations: Positive affirmations reinforce your intent. Create a short, positive statement that encapsulates your goal and repeat it regularly. For example, if you seek financial abundance, you might affirm, “I am open to receiving wealth and prosperity.”

Infuse Emotion: Emotion is the fuel for your intent. Feel the emotions associated with achieving your goal—joy, relief, excitement, love. Emotions heighten your energy and make your intent more compelling to the universe.

Release and Trust: Once you’ve set your intent, release it into the universe and trust the process. Holding on too tightly can create resistance. Have faith that the universe will respond in the best possible way and at the right time.

Practical Exercises to Strengthen Your Intent

Meditation: Regular meditation helps quiet your mind and enhances your focus. Spend a few minutes each day meditating on your intent, allowing it to sink deeply into your subconscious.

Journaling: Write down your goals and the reasons behind them. Journaling clarifies your thoughts and solidifies your intent. Revisit your entries to stay aligned with your desires.

Rituals and Spellwork: Design rituals and spells that resonate with your intent. Use symbols, colors, herbs, and crystals that correspond to your goal. The act of performing a ritual reinforces your intent through action and symbolism.

The power of intent is the cornerstone of effective magic. By focusing your magical energy with a clear, purposeful intent, you can manifest your desires and create profound changes in your life. Remember, the universe responds to the energy you put out, so make sure your intent is aligned with your true desires and highest good. With practice and dedication, you’ll find that your ability to harness the power of intent becomes second nature, transforming your magical practice and your life.

Embrace the power of your intent and watch as your magical journey unfolds with greater clarity, purpose, and success.

[canmom]

one of the people i most looked up to when i was first transing has, many years later, pretty hard disidentified with words like 'trans woman', 'transfem' and so on. they still write to an audience of mostly dolls, but they're doing some other gender thing now, and tend not to like being put in the trans woman/transfem box.

chewing on this and other things. fundamentally I don't think gender is real. I have called it an egregore, and that still seems apt. and yet, words like 'trans', 'autistic' and so on are a pretty powerful correlate with the sort of person I tend to vibe with.

transing isn't revealing some inner girl essence. the forces that produce a trans woman when enacted on the eager-to-reshape-itself human brain don't necessarily only produce trannies: it is one of a number of moves available to you.

it is, however, a really big play in the game. given how ludicrously much gender infects every social interaction, going off-script in a big way is going to affect your psychology hugely. doing that activates the feedback loops, the self-exciting instability, a set of rituals let you become something more 'real', or perhaps more precisely, something you have actively defined. the unpredictable outcome of that process is both the entire point and not the point at all.

rachel pollack spoke of transing in terms of religious ecstasy. "I would argue that transsexuality arises from a passion so powerful that it transcends issues of happiness. The word passion originally meant suffering, not pleasure."

so having made a declaration like, i am this sort of creature, you break everything down and start to rebuild. you go on to take actions to affirm it, or even simply build an inner, secret core, and doing this - physically, socially - transforms the resonances of your thinking.

we have constructed many rituals to make the declaration of transness more definite. a lot of them will affect your sensory experience: the immediate effect of hrt on how your skin responds to touch is surely one of the great virtues. take surgery, for example - do you need to get your penis turned inside out? well: the drama of making a drastic alteration to your body, and the sheer difficulty of getting it, makes it an especially powerful ritual. but it's not the only way to go. indeed, most girls I know haven't done it (whether or not they want to), and instead, the symbol of woman-with-penis has become one of our core subculture-images. in the last few years, the word faggot has come back in a big way, with a real gendered connotation now, sorta like what the girls on here were trying to get at with baeddel before all the shit happened. that's also a move.

so this phenomenon, this new game we're building together, includes surgeries as a move. but it also includes a lot of the subculture-building classics: weird fashions, radical politics, drugs, kinky sex, making noises on the computer, and so on.

and since the whole point of this thing is a process of defining yourself into existence, as soon as something starts to become a cliché, an orthodoxy, a mandated practice, it starts to break down. everything is stupid fucking contextual. if everyone around you is desperately pursuing genital surgery, saying 'I like my dick and want to keep it' becomes a potent move. but if the pendulum swings the other way, once everyone is saying 'do you really need surgery, you know you don't need it to Be Trans, please stay as you are since it's easier for us that way', maybe that ritual regains some of its power. it's perverse. perversity is kind of necessary to it.

so the meta evolves.

i am speaking about transness here, but i think similar forces are at work with other self-id games, autism and so on. there is like, actual biological variation, but far more important is the ideas we're playing with on top of that. what concepts are activated when I think 'autism', now largely positive associations: sensory this, obsession that; not the same as twenty years ago. thankfully my fellow autists made an interesting game to make of it: a space to express something.