#no one understands her like me and my three friends
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
jesus fucking christ crop is a game.
#i was way too stressed/sad/tired/busy with irl stuff to post last night but. jesus FUCKING christ.#i. i. i. i.#i really did think my beloved girlie was gonna be either dead or entirely unplayable so this IS a huge win#like there's a reason i instantly had tears in my eyes when i read 'they don't make it' i really thought i was gonna lose them ALL#and i just. spent two hours at work like that--#which would have been. jesus FUCKING christ.#saved by initiative!!!!!#and then when i realized i was not just grappled but SWALLOWED and therefore BLINDED....#having an hour where i thought there was a very good chance i was dead and having that hour be 1:20-2:20am. uh-huh.#but even as it is it's. god. GOD!#i. the fact that the three who saved against the fear are the ones who are dead.#the fact that amanda is the one person who would have blamed cerise as much as she blames herself and. she's DEAD.#the fact that. the way cerise treated euca like he was still her friend and still a leader for them was part denial and part#her trying to coax him back to himself and get him to heal and be the way she rememebered him being. and he's dead!#the fact that i so specifically made sure i had one of micha's drawings just in case she died and. i sure do have the drawing.#and i. augustine is making me INSANE because the thing is he and cerise had. an understanding!#it's adjacent to my healer/barbarian emotions it's like. of COURSE he died trying to save her as she was about to die saving him#and of course it didn't even work.#and ELLIOT! elliot saving calista elliot trying to bait the dragon elliot doing like thirty damage to the dragon!!!! more than cerise!!!!#i'm also feeling really fucking insane about this being the second time in her life cerise has thunderstepped out of something that should#have killed her and about that this is now the second battle where her function has been to take damage and be a distraction#and to deal almost NO damage herself despite being. a fucking SORCERER.#like i'm so upset about not thinking to shocking grasp and about that fucking damage roll#but also i. three damage. she's taken so much damage from this dragon and only dealt three. and we still might kill him.#and the fact that she fucking. saved on the fear AS she was being eaten. i..........man. man. man. WOW!#yesterday was very stressful i had a few moments of 'is this gonna push me too far with this game' but we've swung back around to best game#WOW! jesus fucking CHRIST! cerise is going to be an absolute nightmare here but not as much as she would have been <3#which honestly is gonna make it HARDER i had a PLAN for if everyone or almost everyone or elliot or calista died...#cha:cerise#c:crop
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok so on one hand, if i leave today or tomorrow i’ll be missing a lot of school because i’ll probably have to miss monday too due to weather. on the other hand, i’ve been sitting in various rooms that are not classrooms since 8am and it is now 9:30 so i’m missing so much class time any way. also, i’d much, much rather feel like shit at home than in various rooms in my school that are not a classroom.
#louise.txt#feelin like shit!#so much heartburn and nausea for no goddamn reason#actually there probably is a reason i’m just stupid#it’s a toss up between my meds; stress; and my terrible diet#probably all three ngl#told my painting teacher that i’d have to miss friday for an appointment and probably next monday for weather and she was like damn :/#can’t wait to tell her this!#she’ll understand i think#she’ll understand that i need to prioritize my health and comfort and stuff over school rn#one time me and my friend looked really sleepy and she said ‘if i could give you both the best naps you’ve taken in your lives i would.’#so i think she’ll get it#i can guilt my shakespeare teacher#urban geo might be tougher but i think he’ll understand because he’s also missing a lot of school for reasons#he understood last time#and i think comics will be mostly fine? the teacher is pretty chill and i’ve already told him about how shitty i’ve felt the last few weeks#like on and off but still#and yoga should be fine#i can ask her if i can have a makeup assignment with less movement because i don’t think moving is a good idea rn#so i think i should be good? but still#i’m starting my final project in painting and comics at the end of the week though :/#so a little concerned about that#i think if i can get a space to work in my house i’ll be fine#also my shakespeare teacher is so easy to guilt#i just look sad enough and he’ll do whatever#that’s not a good thing because he does suck and is racist but is certain he isn’t#we called him a white savior once and it looked like he wanted to cry#it’s pretty funny ngl#anyway
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
another thing ive realised too this year is the reason I havent had many friends my whole life might not solely be because of my appearance (even if it does play a huge role) but because when i was 9 my dad went and made himself a registered sex offender. like. i really have to pay the consequence of being lonely through the formative years of my life because he decided to do god knows what with a minor online. FUCK
#like i get it the parents of kids were rightfully concerned but what the FUCK does that seriously mean i dont deserve friends. i didnt do#shit!!!! and my social life was already taking a blow bc i suddenly looked deformed!!!!#i have one irl friend. id have two but she was trying to cut me off and i let her. id have three but my ex friend (last post) was toxic#the one trying to cut me off was my friend from kindergarten to senior year. and she said shed never leave me#the one i have left i see maximum 3 times a year. and i dont have my own social life because i cant drive#like i do not think any of you understand just how fucking lonely i actually am. its not a teehee im so alone hashtag depression#situation. i am truly like fucking alone in this universe
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Being an extrovert with horrible social skills is such a fucking curse like you feel the best with people and you suffer like bitch without them, but also you Cannot actually get those people to be around you
#just found out that someone thought for Years that I hate her and don't want to be around her#all the while inside I was like obviously she finds me annoying and doesn't want me around so I won't force myself on her#I feel like that all the damn time with everyone#there are three exceptions to it one is my sister and the other two are my friends#(I love you Éva <3)#even with my brother I feel like that!!#also I can't read nonverbal cues for the life of me so when someone is a nonverbal kinda person is conflict it's Bad#because they'll wait for me to notice something is wrong and that I did something bad#but I have No Idea when something is wrong if they don't tell me#like if you don't tell me I did something bad I won't know unless I did it on purpose which is very very rare#last time I was mean on purpose was in 8th grade I think I'm not proud of it#anyway yeah that's adhd babey!#also social anxiety for some people? if I understand it right?#next step is being annoyingly clingy with the people I like in order to 'overcompensate' and thus appear normal to others#since what I see as annoyingly clingy is probably just a normal amount of expressed interest#foolproof plan#oh my god I just realised I'm a vampire#if you don't specifically invite me#then I Physically Can't join you sorry#I'm very happy now for some reason#maybe bc of this revelation and my new foolproof evil little plan to get friends#using my blog shamelessly to vent like it's the notes app at 3am#vent#personal
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
what do you mean we should hang out we hung out 4 months ago at school for 15 minutes between two lessons..
#it's truly like............. sometimes people start friendships with you or you go to the same club and you kind of didn't ask#but you also didn't refuse and now they text you a lot and expect things like meeting up.... and you realize it's not worth it but#now you gotta#like texting is one type of activity... making conversation face to face.... that's too intimate.#like i worry i won't do well (at conversation. with someone i don't know (well). because i have to filter myself heavily)#or it'll be exhausting or i won't like it#bc there's this boy from art class and he approached me#(you have to understand i don't start talking to people or ask for people's social media. i don't make new friends lmao💕)#and then there's the girl from philosophy and she's‚ fine‚ she's cool‚ but we went to the cinema less than two weeks ago :P#i don't meet up with anyone every two weeks‚ no one..#and then‚ i want one of my close friends to come over. love her i miss her. so i gotta meet her#so I'll be going out the next three days :| there'll be no recharge time. that's my problem tbh#kata.txt#like i don't need Friends i have Sister.
1 note
·
View note
Text
It's getting close to my birthday which means I have to start getting ready for nobody except my family (who i mostly don't want to talk to anyway because they're abusive or homophobic) and my girlfriend to tell me happy birthday since none of my friends in California ever talk to me anymore and I've given up after reaching out a bunch of times and never ever hearing back, and it's so close to Christmas that I can't expect any of my friends from work to remember. I know I could mention it/ remind them but I feel bad doing that when I know at least everyone i directly with with celebrates Christmas which means they'll be busy thinking about that and I don't want them to have to worry about my birthday too. Like I get why this happens and it's 99% my fault but it still sucks.
Idek why I'm still sad that I know I won't hear anything from the "friends" I've been hoping to hear from for over a year. I mean one of them had a whole baby and never even responded to my congratulations message (that i sent after I found out from instagram) even though it says she read it and I know she was having whole conversations with other people in comments on her posts and telling them to text her back. I guess i just wasn't as close of a friend as I thought, which sucks but I get it. But when do I go from "people have their own lives and sometimes just don't have time or energy to respond to you" to "well I've reached out a ton of times and never got a single response or even a 'sorry I'm overwhelmed but I'll message when I can' so I'm gonna give up"? I think a year and a half is long enough right?
I feel like with good friends you generally don't end up lying in bed all day extremely depressed thinking about how much you wish they'd just tell you they don't want to talk anymore so that you could stop being disappointed every time they don't respond to a message or do things like tell you happy birthday. I mean they used to be good friends and I thought I could rely on them to be there for me and I thought they knew I would also always be there for them but I guess that's just not something that always lasts
#also one of those friends just fell off the face of the earth after i told her i was nonbinary#which sucks because i thought we were really good friends and that whole group went to a gay club all the time#and she never said anything transphobic to me about any of the trans people who were there#i mean our last conversation was her asking a couple questions then saying it might be hard for her to switch my name and pronouns#and i said it's okay and i don't mind as long as she's trying b/c i understand it being hard when we've known each other since third grade#and then i just never heard from her again even though i sent an 'i miss you!' message or respond to her sc story every few weeks#idk the three of us have been friends since early elementary school and spent almost every day together in 2016 but then i went back to co#and i guess that's just too far for us to maintain a friendship for more than a year or so#it shouldn't still bother me#friendships end#but i really cared about them#I'm starting to think I'm the one doing something wrong because while these friendships sort of just fizzled out#every friend i had in elementary and middle and high school and in college has either just disappeared from my life#or said they don't want to be friends/ talk to me anymore (which is mainly one friend and their sister and i was friends with those 2 for 12#years and then the main friend stopped wanting to see me or hang out after i told them about childhood trauma and they said i changed too#too much after that and then moved to another state and only called me if they needed to get out of something and never responded to any#texts or messages then sent a thank you card for a graduation gift their sister made me buy that said#'i think our friendship is over sorry thanks' and i sent a somewhat angry message like 'wtf you literally could have just told me instead of#ghosting me for a year since i asked a million times and said I'd stop messaging if you didn't want to be friends anymore. fuck you i have#better and more fun friends now' and then their sister got mad at me and said that her sibling thought i might be mad at them?? like no shit#anyway that one sucked and really hurt)#but yeah at this point I'm pretty sure I'm the one doing something wrong and i just shouldn't try to have friends anymore#anyway that got way off topic but yeah that's what's up right now
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#this is So Stupid but i think i figured out why i’m so sad boy esp today#also jamie if you read this it’s not about you !!#i feel like people in my life just don’t listen to me sometimes and that’s my pet peeve#and recently with my birthday coming up it’s like .... i’m seeing it more and more#bc i am specific in asking for gifts if you ever ask me what i want and i have something in mind i’ll tell you#butTTTT if i tell you and then you ignore it or get me something that’s Not It i’m very disappointed which is SELFISH and i feel bad for#feeling like that but#esp my parents i licherally send links to things i want and they just ignore me#i asked my mom for a crystal necklace for three years for every holiday and finally bought it myself#and since gifts are my love language that’s like a big blow#even one of my friends who i love dearly and who gives me random gifts just... ignored what i told her for my birthday#(again not you jamie you got me exactly what i asked for lol)#and it just like... idk i take great care in picking out gifts for people and i understand not everyone’s good with that#but to just forget or not listen to what i specifically ask for hurts#bc then if i get it for myself i feel... unloved which is a lil fucked up bc i JNOW these people care about me but#it just makes me feel like it’s not in the same way i care about them#which again... ik is wrong#but it’s not even gifts it’s just... people not listening to what i say makes me really sad#and my mom did that tonight on top of giving me something to make up for it skskdj and it just made it worse bc#it was an early birthday gift and i love it ! but she specifically did not get what i asked for and i’m like ...... oh.#but i can’t say it to her face bc i appreciate the gesture !! it just feels like a sucker punch right after not being listened to#which is SO DUMB#but it just gets at the root of feeling ... not seen by my own parents and knowing if i did feel seen it wouldn’t be the same relationship#anymore#ok phew.#i just needed to. put that in writing. for my own self to comprehend.#negative#meara fucking SCREAMS
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I honestly think I might be going insane
#i felt a ghost earlier while at work#ive felt ghosts before but in expected places#like my old house or summer camp#but not here in this hella new building#i havent felt one in awhile either so it was a wack feeling at first#abd especially wack because ive never felt a ghost here and it doesnt make much sense to feel one here#it's gone now though#soon after that i started to get super anxious about something#about a year ago one of my friends left me for complicated reasons#we havent talked since but it fucked me up and im still upset about it#after i encountered the ghost (which had a very friendly presence btw)#i started to feel like something bad had happened to her or she was in danger somehow#ive only felt this specific feeling... maybe once before#maybe three years ago was the last time i felt this VERY SPECIFIC ANXIETY IDK IF Y'ALL UNDERSTAND HOW SPECIFIC THIS EXACT FEELING IS FOR ME#so to recap: i felt a ghost and rhen became anxious because i think maybe something bad is happening to an old friend?#im going actually clinically insane#i feel fucking crazy right now#i dont feel crazy because of the ghost to be clear#ghost was lit just startling#the entire situation all stacked together and my general brain state is why i feel crazy#why in the fuck do i feel like this
1 note
·
View note
Text
i think things should just. stop for mayb about five minutes and then ill feel normal again
#my best friend accidentally pushed me into doing something i don't want to do three times today#and one those things i can't back out of at all and im terrified bc of it#i dont want to let her down but god i physically cannot handle this right now or really ever and she tries to understand but she jus doesnt#its as bad as it was when we dated but this time instead of physical touch its anxiety-inducing situations#shes my fuckin best friend but. god i wish i felt like i had the option to say ni#vent#mikko speaks™
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: i'm feeling masc rn
Person: *ignores me and refers to me with she/her within 0.2 seconds*
Me: a h
—
Me: i'm feeling masc but dw abou-
My f/o's: YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME TODAY BABY!! MY GORGEOUS HUSBAND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! *refers to me with he/they the rest of the day*
Me: *ugly sobbing* I l o v e y o u
#personal#nadine rambles#This is @ someone irl just so we all know i wouldn't vague anyone here that's gross#i just have no where else to vent about irl people and i know a lot of you would understand this feeling#people irl may not respect how i feel but my f/o's do!!!!!!! and all my friends here do!!!!!!#honestly it means so much to me when you guys use they/them for me because it's honestly become the pronouns i'm most comfy with#and atm being perceived solely as she/her makes me feel :// bad n gross#like idk why my brain is wierd i just prefer being boyf#and it's been like that for a while#AAAAA ANYWAY#my biggest comforts when i get like this or stuff like this happens is usually wade and papyrus!!#cuz tbh i see wade as not giving a shit abt gender and i hc papyrus as nb#and they're both pan and ready to aggressively support their genderless blob of an s/o who is me#imagining either of them calling me their bf or hubby makes me 🥺💕💕💕💕 everytime#like YES!! I am ur boyf and ilu!!#i like imagining all of my f/o's calling me their husband but papy and wade are the ones i am CONFIDENT would do that#anyway i've written three billion posts like this and deleted them because i'm insecure but i trust y'all#i feel dumb whenever i talk about this stuff but it's important to me and this is my feel good blog where i get to be me#so i'm gonna talk abt it ajsjfjgjfjf
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
my desire to have the people i most care abt use she pronouns for me vs. my fear of being misgendered and my complete lack of desire to explain the nuances and intersections of my gender and sexuality: FIGHT
#like if u r going to use she/her pronouns for me you NEED to understand that i am first and foremost a man#and that by using she/her pronouns for me you are NOT denying that i am a man you are simply#acknowledging my gender non conformity!!!#i need ppl to overcome their settings of the gender binary and like. appreciate that as a gay man im allowed to do whatever the fuck i want#like it just seems like so much effort#especially because like. i dont have any close trans friends that i see regularly like i have trans friends from high school#but like. idk my mark of a close friend rn is whether or not they follow my finsta and everyone on my finsta is cis#ok i just checked and it's Little a lie there r Three trans ppl following me#one person from bcc that im LITERALLY never gonna see again. like seriously idk when we're gonna b in the same city again#one person who i really like but i see once a year at a party they throw and like i love them and have always wanted to b their friend more#but i see them so infrequently that it just feels useless#and then the last one is one of my closest friends from high school who i havent seen since before they came out#and theyre one of the only people i would Consider asking/telling abt the pronouns because i really deeply trust them#but the other 32 ppl on my finsta r CIS#altho i am kind of convinced that carolynn is. not cis. she talks abt gender a. way too often and b. way too skillfully to be cis#but the fact of the matter is i have very few irl friends that i would be comfy talking to abt#using she pronouns for me#and it's NOT that using he is misgendering me!!! like i make everyone use he for me he is my primary pronoun#if we aren't friends or close you use he for me!!!#like and it's not even that i don't trust ppl to understand it's just that even a well intentioned 'she' out of some of their mouths#would FEEL like misgendering#u know???#idk. ive wanted to talk to carolynn abt it for a while now but im just scared#god it feels like im back in the closet all over again!!!#ok to rb lol
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like there’s another child in the house, i s2fg
(rant in the tags, please do not reblog)
#it's my brother's 28th birthday tomorrow#and he keeps having these on and off moods#where he just gives me and my sister the silent treatment#i honestly spend the time just ignoring it#but he's talking happily to his friends and our parents#and i feel like i'm fucking supposed to cater to this#'talk to him!!' hOW??#he refuses to have proper communication with me and my sister!!#i feel like i'm supposed to just grin and bear it#my mum insists i make a cake for him#i remember making three cakes in a week months ago#and then my mum said on my own birthday that her cake was not as good as mine#i know it's good to treat each other and understand but just#he's gonna be 28!!#tomorrow!!#i keep thinking i should just go down to the shops and find a gluten free one#rant#vent#i'm tired of the guilt#me and my sister have got nothing but the silent treatment and moods for the second or third time during this lockdown#it's such a trend of feeling like i can't point stuff out#but i'm fair game for constant criticism#as an AFAB the number of times i'm supposed to understand and be a threapist makes me want to scream#it feels like nothing but i am so fucking tired#sometimes i wonder how much more coddled he is by our parents at his age#especially by our mother#my sister got lit up by wanting to go to a funeral#but my parents let him go to a friend's not long after#i just fucking can't anymore#personal
1 note
·
View note
Text
Go ahead, type a post
bitch
#labhrambles#lab bitches and moans#hey mom i can never think on the spot when you ask how its going so ill tell you here#im super lonely all the time and its really stupid hard to be lonely when theres 50 thousand people around you#i never understand a Word of bio and im constantly convinced im gonna fail and if i ask questions ill look like an idiot for not-#-understanding a basic introductory course because Everyone Else gets it and Everyone Else said the test was easy so obviously i cant Say-#-it was hard for me right after she says /it was so easy right? haha you guys all were scared for nothing!/#the only class i LIKE only meets for fifty minutes and the class i TOLERATE is an hour and its only once a week#the other three are hell and i actively think about how much easier it would be if i were dead rather than there#im constantly terrified that im doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing or wearing the wrong thing and what if in four years it-#-spits me out no better than i was before? what if this isnt what i actually want to do? how am i supposed to pick that now? im not kidding-#-when [redacted] asks why i dont just drop out and i say its because you wont let me. thats genuinely the only answer. thats it.#no one talks to me Ever and ive tried so many times with so many people and Every Single One of them did the awkward laugh nod that-#-acknowledged i spoke then moved on because i said the wrong thing at the wrong time. every single person. every single time ive tried.#and i cant even enjoy most of the clubs im in because [roommate] is in those too so im obligated to hang out with her which makes finding-#-new friends really freaking hard and i CANT DO IT. i just CANT.#ive never made a friend in my LIFE. sarah was forced into it by mrs robin and literally every single friend after was such by association#i have an emotional breakdown about not wanting to come back every weekend and its HELL. i HATE IT. i HATE coming back and i cant SAY THAT#because everyone is always so HOPEFUL that its going BETTER this time and its NOT#its going JUST AS BAD only NOW ive got the added dilemmas of KNOWING im suicidal and broken and i cant DO ANYTHING about it#except SIT HERE and WISH i was dead but im too much of a COWARD to go through with it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
This man got mad at me at work bc his gift card wasn’t working but shout out to his friend who told him it wasn’t my fault and I can’t do anything about it
#he told him like three times#im jusr like how do i convey to friend that i owe him my life?#also people being mad at me for problems with their cards need to stop#this one lady wouldnt understand that i had no way of checking what was up with her credit card account that she couldnt use the card#like how do i explain to someone i am not their bank?#not safe from work
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine going to one of the best colleges in the country for your course and you got so damaged from the experience that you need to take time to ACTUALLY HEAL FROM IT.
#why am I so fucked up#Why can't I balance things like literally everyone else?#Why is it just me who manages to do fuckall with an eight month break?#I mean granted I was helping my sister out for three months and then looking after my father for another month and a week.#but like anyone else would be able to fit some studying in there. To fit a good amount of studying in there.#But not me. It's almost like I don't want to work but I do. I'm just scared that I'll end up being unable to eat again.#Or that I'll be unable to study anything and just be wasting a seat. And still unable to do even a simple castration or spaying.#I feel like my degree was wasted on me. Like I didn't deserve it. Like I should have gone for literally anything else.#But I can't imagine being anything but a veterinarian.#And like oddly enough I can't understand the value of money. Like I have money but I can't get myself to use it.#Because my mom always saved up and only ever used it to care for her kids. So I grew up not spending money on anything but sustenance.#I have so much money in my account and I keep putting away and not buying things to make me happy.#I want to spend but what if spending doesn't make me happy at all?#My friends complain that they're struggling for money but they have plushies and fancy food and they buy things for their loved ones.#I have money but I just cannot seem to spend on making my life better.#Because what if I start spending and it never gets better?#Why can't I find the glimpses of heaven in every day?#And why can't I work towards the future?
0 notes
Note
(I know you don't write for Steve but this just came to me) What about Steve teaching virgin!reader how to blow virgin!Eddie?!
Pairing | Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington x fem!Reader
Warnings | sexual content (18+ minors dni), handjobs, blowjobs, inexperienced virgin reader, inexperienced virgin eddie, experienced pushy steve, awkward boners, bullying, mutual pining.
Word Count | 2.8k
A/N | i've never written for steve before and i took this and ran with it lmao, i hope i did your prompt justice!! if any of you see any mistakes, no you didn't, this wasnt proof read.
Eddie and Steve's relationship had always been odd. You'd noticed it from the first time you'd ever hung out with them, when Robin had dragged you along to meet her friends. You hadn't known her for long, but Robin was loud and unabashed and adamant you had to come hang out with her outside of work.
When you'd first clapped eyes on them both, you noticed the air seemed thick between them. The way they'd bite at each other constantly, bicker and call each other names, the way Steve's eyes would linger on Eddie's lips a second longer than what would be deemed appropriate.
It seemed like a constant fight for dominance, especially when the kids were around. A battle of who Dustin loved more, who Mike looked up to more, who Max harbored a secret 'big brother' liking to more. It was a constant game, and you wondered if they even liked each other.
Then, sometimes, they'd be sweet with each other. Steve would knock Eddie back with a gentle hand when he was about to stumble over a curb, Eddie would grab Steve a burger even when he said he wasn't hungry. Steve would even help him set up the D&D table, he didn't understand what it was about and never played, but he'd help anyway. Even when Eddie bitched that the way he did it was wrong.
So, it was weird. The more time you spent together, the more you found yourself being sucked into the dynamic unwillingly. Robin said she could tell Eddie had a crush on you, which made you blush -- he was cute, and surprisingly really nice despite the hard exterior, but Steve caught onto it pretty quickly and used it to his advantage during their bickering.
You'd walked in on them arguing about you one day, when they clearly thought they were alone. You stood behind the doorway, eavesdropping;
"What would she want with you, Munson? You're a twenty year old virgin, trust me she's not interested."
"Oh yeah? As opposed to what, exactly? The town slut? As if you're any better than me because you've fucked every girl our age."
"At least I didn't jizz in my pants when she gave me a hug."
"That didn't fucking happen, and if you tell her that I'll kill you."
"Ooh, scary."
The admission of Eddie being a virgin was unsurprising, chicks weren't exactly queuing up outside his trailer to fuck him. But, he was pretty, like devastatingly so. Once you got to know him he was a great guy, smarter than he made himself out to be and nothing like the people of Hawkins claimed he was.
The next time you all hung out together, three joints deep and a bottle of scotch being passed around, you made a point of also admitting to being a virgin, to make Eddie feel better. Steve had stared at you open mouthed and flustered, Eddie had choked on his gum, Robin had watched it all unfold and let out a loud barking laugh.
You'd hoped that it would settle Eddie's mind and maybe get Steve to back off and stop hounding him about it, particularly in front of you.
And now, how you ended up in this situation is fully Robin's fault and she'll get told that when you next see her. Her and Nancy had bowed out of your designated movie night ungracefully, claiming to be slammed with babysitting Holly at last minute, but you knew better.
The three of you were crammed up on Steve's bed, and you're wondering why he and Eddie willingly chose to sit next to each other, so close their arms were squashed together and their legs knocked. You were watching The Lost Boys, at Steve's adamance, because apparently it was the horror movie of the year, but you begged to differ, nothing exciting had happened yet.
It gets to a sex scene, and you awkwardly shuffle from where you're sat next to Eddie, cheeks burning hot as you avert your eyes from the screen. Neither of them notice, enamored with seeing a pair of tits on the screen like a pair of twelve year olds.
Your fingers accidentally brush Eddie's own, and you shoot back like you've been scalded, "Sorry, Eddie." You whisper quietly, settling back into your pillow with an inch of space between your bodies for safe measure.
Eddie sucks in a sharp breath, which catches Steve's attention, making him turn away from the screen to look at you both, eyes flitting back and forth. Then, a scoff escapes him, "Trust you to pop a boner at a pair of fucking tits, Munson."
You furrow your brows, glancing down to where Steve's eyes wandered and oh. Eddie was hard, straining against the loose plaid pyjama pants that he always wore when you guys hung out at night, refusing to buy a pair of sweatpants.
Eddie's face is flushed a dark red, you can see it as clear as day from the glare of Steve's TV, "Fuck off, Harrington. They're a nice pair of tits."
"You're such a virgin, you want some help with that?" Steve wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and you think it's meant to come out as a joke but the way Steve says it seems anything but. He looks at you over Eddie's shoulder, motioning towards him, clamping a hand down on his leg, "Don't you think it's about time he got touched by something that wasn't his right hand?"
You flounder a little, unable to form proper thoughts at what Steve is insinuating, "What do you mean? That I should help him with that? I'm the unwilling third party here, keep me out of your homoerotic bullshit."
"We could both do it, silly. Was it not totally obvious that he's got a massive crush on you?" Steve shrugs like it's nothing, and you feel Eddie tensing up next to you, can see his cock straining further in his pants out of the corner of your eye. In that moment it clicks for you that they're both into this, have probably been waiting a while to find themselves in this situation, with you specifically.
"At this point I think you have a crush on him, you're so obsessed with him it's hilarious." You snark, leaning forward a little until you're crowded back in Eddie's space, hands bumping each others, "What do I get out of this, exactly?"
Steve looks you up and down, a cute grin gracing his face, "Trust me, you can have anything you want."
You chew on the inside of your lip, genuinely thinking about it. Did you really want your first time doing anything sexual with another person to be in a threesome? You clench your thighs at the thought, a wave of heat flushing through your body at the thought of being touched by four hands at once, two mouths.
You wonder how Eddie feels, he's uncharacteristically quiet. You hazard a glance back down, and Eddie has his hand clamped over Steve's own on his thigh. So, yeah, clearly he's into it too.
"Aw, c'mon, don't you want to show the freak a good time?" Steve asks, a smirk overcoming his features — it's disgustingly attractive, a far cry from the usually sweet Steve you knew when Eddie wasn't around, but it did things to you, made your tummy clench.
"Steve, I've never done this either... you know that," You pull your bottom lip with your teeth, chewing anxiously. It's not as if Eddie had anything to compare you to, you were both a pair of bumbling touch starved virgins, but you didn't want it to be bad for him, either.
"Harrington, if you don't stop rubbing my thigh I'm gonna cum in my pants," Eddie's voice cuts through the air, loud enough to knock you out of your trance and making you look up at him, taking in just how disheveled he was already from the merest touch.
"I'll show you how to do it," Steve says, completely ignoring Eddie's protests, never taking his eyes off of you as he brushes his hand up Eddie's thigh even higher, knocking his clothed hard dick with the back of his hand. Eddie hisses, Steve grins and lets out a cackle, "Won't take much, anyway, not if this is anything to go by."
"I am right here," Eddie balks, throwing his hands up in the air. Steve shushes him, shoving into Eddie's space like an eager puppy to grip at his pants and pull them down his thighs.
Of course Eddie doesn't wear underwear under them, why would he? His cock springs out, flushed and hard, the tip a pretty pink colour that makes your mouth water, a small amount of precum blurting out of his slit.
"You guys good with this?" Steve double checks, Eddie whines a little, which is enough of a reply for Steve. You don't even reply, batting Steve out of the way with one hand and wrapping your other one eagerly around the base of Eddie's dick - which to your delight elicits the prettiest little moan from his mouth.
"Eager little thing, isn't she?" Steve smirks at Eddie, which in return has you rolling your eyes and Eddie nodding his head fast. You slide your hand up the length of Eddie's cock slowly, shocked by how your fingers don't even wrap around it fully, all girthy and nice to touch.
"Right, you've not got enough lube for your hand to glide properly, here," Steve leans forward, mouth just mere centimetres away from Eddie's dick, and he lets out a glob of spit onto the head.
"Fuck, what the fuck," Eddie's words comes out erratic, eyes wide as he watches Steve spit all over him without a care in the world, like this was normal and something 'bros' did. Your hand squeezes the base of his cock a little to focus his attention back on you, hand sliding up to rub in the mess of Steve's spit and get him all nice and wet.
"There you go, see? Much easier." Steve's cocky demeanor is starting to diminish, you can tell by the way his voice comes out softer as he watches your skin connect with Eddie's, the slick slide of your fist up and down his cock. You feel Steve's large hand ghost over your lower back, under your shirt. You gasp quietly at the touch, the burning heat of his skin on yours making you shiver.
"Does this feel okay?" You ask Eddie quietly, ignoring what Steve just said because what the fuck would he know, it's not his dick being touched.
"Feels good, sweetheart, cross my heart." Eddie's cheeks are tinged rouge red, neck veins popping a little as he clearly struggles not to blow his load. You can see Steve looking back and forth between you both with curious eyes, smile still on his face, clearly enjoying watching a pair of virgins going at it like a creep.
"Do you want me to use my mouth?" You ask tentatively, cocking your head to the side as you keep eye contact with Eddie to try and gauge how he feels. It's meant to be innocent, comes out dirty. Dirty enough that Steve's hand moves to grip at your waist slightly, a soft sigh escaping him.
"You'd like that, right Eddie?" Steve's smile is sickly sweet, but you can tell he's starting to fold because he's using Eddie's real name, not his last name or a stupid nickname. Eddie nods silently, eyes shutting and head thumping back against Steve's plush headboard.
You slide down the bed quietly, shuffling until you're nestled in between Eddie's spread legs at an angle that meant you could just lean forward and slide your mouth over his length, "Tell me what to do then, genius."
"Take your hand off him, I'll do that, you just put your pretty mouth to use," Steve's slender fingers move yours out of the way until you're releasing Eddie's cock, his own large hand wrapping around the base and squeezing, making Eddie whimper.
Steve guides Eddie's dick over to rub the tip over your closed lips, smearing precum all over them. Your tummy clenches, ridiculously turned on by what you're doing, unable to stop your mind racing. You feel dizzy, like this is a dream you'll wake up from any moment.
"What're you waiting for? Wrap your lips around the head, give it a try." Steve's demanding, his voice firm with you, so you lean down and close the distance, opening your lips and sinking down onto the head, hot mouth engulfing Eddie's cock.
"Jesus Christ, fuck," Eddie cries out, can't help but open his eyes to look at you, has to see what you're both doing. The sight of Steve's massive fist around his cock, jerking it lightly into your mouth, you sucking and licking at him - he's teetering on the edge dangerously fast.
"Feels good, right?" Steve chuckles a little, looking between where his fist and your mouth meet and Eddie's blown out, wide eyes, "She didn't even need any help, knew just what do on her own like a good girl."
You and Eddie both moan in unison, the vibration on Eddie's cock enough to have his hips bucking up wildly, which in turn causes Steve to reach his free hand out and push him down onto the bed harshly, "Don't cum yet, Munson. Don't be a little bitch."
Eddie chokes out a little sob, whining at Steve being mean to him. It makes his body run hot, the coil in his tummy tighten. You glance up at him, mouth still full of his cock, just to make sure he's okay, and the bit of eye contact has Eddie losing it.
"Sorry, fuck, sorry, I'm cumming," Eddie grips at a chunk of Steve's meaty thigh and he comes with an embarrassingly loud yelp, Steve's hand tightening as he jerks Eddie's cock into your open, willing mouth, swallowing his release down like you'd done it a million times before.
You kitten lick at the head until Eddie shakes with sensitivity, popping off with a little grin, "You good? Back down to earth yet?"
Eddie smiles dumbly, saluting at you with two fingers, body completely sagged into Steve's plush sheets, flaccid cock still out, "Alive but barely."
You clamber up the bed, the sudden urge to kiss him overtaking your body. You fist a hand in his messy curls, pulling him up to kiss you. Eddie wraps an arm around your back, kissing you all sloppy, teeth and tongue, to an outsider it probably looked gross, but it was so hot to you that you wanted to cry.
You break apart to catch a breath, forehead to forehead with wild eyes and stupid little smiles on your faces. You ache with how much you like Eddie, a love for him overtaking your whole body. Steve clears his throat at your side, pulling you out of your trance, making you turn to look at him.
He's got a firm hand gripped into the arm of Eddie's shirt, you can see his own cock tenting in his loose sweatpants and God, it's big and intimidating, even through his clothes.
"Don't be greedy, share it with me," Steve closes the space between you both and smashes his lips onto yours, licking into your mouth expertly to swipe over your tongue. You moan into the kiss, cunt clenching at being used in this way. He kisses more firmly than Eddie, more sure of himself, it's nice in a different way.
Just as you're getting lost in it Steve pulls away, a whine dying in your throat when you open your eyes to see his face gliding closer to Eddie's, and then they're kissing too. Steve grapples for your waist with closed eyes, tugging you even closer to them both.
They're animalistic with each other, like they're both angry and filled with pent up rage. Eddie grips a hand in Steve's mane of hair, has him groaning into the kiss that's all teeth and grunting. You watch through hooded eyes, unable to take your gaze away from them, wetness pooling in your pretty underwear at the sight of them both.
A whine escapes you, the noise filling the air and cutting off their kiss, both of them looking at you with differing gazes. Steve looks like he wants to pin you down and fuck you into oblivion, Eddie looks like he's in love. Steve sits up a little, grabbing at you and Eddie with every free bit of his big hands, fingers roaming unabashedly.
Steve glances at you both, a smirk back to gracing his features, "If you think I'm done with you two yet, you're sorely mistaken."
#eddie munson fic#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#steve harrington fic#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x you#steddie fic#steddie fanfic#steddie smut#steddie x you#steddie x reader#steddie x fem!reader#steddie x y/n#my fanfic#mine#smut
6K notes
·
View notes