#no one is safe. not cis women. not white women.

[error-523scintilla]

Also like… not to deter from the point, but how many cis men are you sure are cis? Maybe they’ve not discovered they’re trans/nb/genderqueer/xenogender, or even will end up being part of the intersex community, and neither do you. Wow, it sure is so cool of you to ostracize the people of your community!!! So girlbossqueenslay of you!!

At the beginning of the year, my boyfriend —the token cishet guy of our queer friend group— came out to my as nonbinary, and is still coming out to terms with his gender (us being raised latinoamericanos and him amab in Venezuela). If it wasn’t for having a grand support group of queer friends and a bi girlfriend behind him, probably would’ve never come out. How many “men” are having the same experience? Why can’t they explore their gender and queerness? Why should they be rejected by default?

And another thing is… where’s the intersectionality? White feminism being the ban of our existence, black women will probably have more in common with black cis men than upper class white woman. Same goes with Latino women, or Asian women, or Arab women, having more in common with cis queer men of color than white women.

Oh, and if you’re a gold star lesbian, your sexuality doesn’t makes you less of a bigot :) you’re still next on their target list

"cis men dni" are you ready to come out of your "no boys allowed" treehouse yet. its time for lunch.

[trickstarbrave]

probably the most clear cut way to show how fucked up of an ideology TERFs have is the fact theyre just doomers and white supremacists. they dont have any actual, real solutions to any of the problems they face and complain about. because they don't believe there is an actual solution

they think "men are better, stronger, faster, smarter, and more athletic than women. there are only men and women in society and these are actually biological classifications. women are perpetual victims who are never truly safe around men. men will never understand women and women are doomed to take care of and be subservient to men forever"

there are some variations. some will say they dont believe in "men and women" as social genders and say gender is fake, but will then double down on the same gender stereotypes and say they are biologically innate and that is why women are so oppressed.

they also sometimes offer "solutions" but they aren't actual solutions. its the same shit they've always done which is "dont date and be alone with men" and "what if we went out and created a commune of just women?". but these solutions have always been flawed. their relationships are not genuine and their communities are also historically racist (shocker! /sarcasm). some are very extreme and say that women and men should never live together and the human race is doomed because all reproduction should stop and we should live in separate biological societies until humans die out, but even to the majority of TERFs these guys are nutjobs.

but really, most TERFs don't care about real solutions. they will date and marry men no problem. hell, they'll do shit like have their husbands come with them into the bathroom or stay posted outside with guns, which im sure makes other women feels safe (again. sarcasm). they aren't actually fucking radical at all. they buy into the same fucking patriarchal myths that have existed for centuries. they believe men will always be better than women and all women can do is grovel and be good little housewives and mothers to avoid being beaten, and also that men and women are weird, alien creatures to one another who will never understand each other's experiences and thus should hate each other.

they don't want things to get better. because tbh, this is just another brand of white woman victimhood so many scholars have been talking about for decades (link 1, link 2, theres more if you go looking LMAO). yes, there are TERFs who are women of color, but they are continuing to center the experiences of white women who love to be perpetual victims. they uphold standards of womanhood that are white in nature. and historically they have never been treated well by their white counterparts who, when there are no more trans people to harass, begin turning on them as gender deviants for not upholding the standards of white beauty and white femininity. white victimhood at the hands of men is a tool of white supremacy, hence why it is often women and men of color who have that card turned against them, regardless of if they are cis or not.

TERFs do not want real solutions, they want regression. white victimhood is power. they want to live in perpetual victimhood so they can use that card as they see fit, be it when they see a woman of color they don't like in the bathroom, they can accuse her of being a man and have her thrown out. when they describe trans women, they use descriptors often used to describe POC by racists. they will willingly ally themselves with the alt right because deep down remaining oppressed when it comes to abortion, voting, being able to work outside the home for equal pay, and marriage equality really pale in comparison to the appeal white supremacy has for them. they don't fully consciously recognize it, but it's the truth. which is why a lot of TERFs have fully gone mask off white supremacy tradwives after a while in the movement and have said TERF ideology and white supremacy are not very far from each other.

change isn't possible to them and they dont want it to be. they will handle the suffering and oppression if it means they can exercise control. in fact, they relish in the narrative of a perpetual victimhood, the myth of men being biologically superior to them, because they can use that to their advantage--as seen by having their fucking husbands armed to the teeth waiting outside public restrooms to "protect their wives". attacking the other, attacking the "degenerates" and "undesirables" in society will always come before actually changing their conditions in a material way. because they do believe deep down they will always be protected in the end. it's a privilege they have. and they will find out the hard way when there are no more trans people, no more bi, gay, pan, or other sexual minorities, and no more people of color, the white men will turn on them with the full front of their hatred and violence in ways they never could have imaged. because it always fucking happens.

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

r/fantasy recommend books other than by the same 7 cis white guys challenge: level herculean.

It's genuinely disgusting to me how myopic their recommendations are. No wonder we keep getting posts asking for books with good female characters or POC or Queers because the image of fantasy you project is cishet dude mantasy slop where women are rape doll incubators(the more underaged the more "realistic") and poc/queers are more mythical than dragons.

I swear to God if I see one more neckbread bleating about The First Song Of Wheel Storm Name Winds Law by T.R.M McWhiteman I'll b*mb an orphanage.

Seriously if the only "zomg must read most epicest bestest fantasy everrrr!!!" Are ALL the SAME cis white men, your reading tastes are shit, your literature pallet is unrefined to the point of non-existence, you have no idea what you're talking about, you have no ability to give actually good book recommendations, you're just shovelling the same mantasy slop that the ur-neckbreads shoved at you, your recommendations are bad and you should feel bad.

Are you giving worthwhile recommendations that fit the brief or are you just throwing your uwu favourite books at a person, damn the fact that it doesn't fit or might even be the exact opposite of what the OP is looking for? Hmmm???

[ianthoni]

hey! when u forget that ian s a white man. what do u think he is? would love to know ur thoughts on this

Oh what do i think he is? He is my poor little delicate gay babygirl meow meow. Hope this helps.

[dragoninahumancostume]

My favorite part of being alive is that I've never felt welcome in any space except for that one year when I thought I was a non-binary bisexual asexual girl when I was 13 :)

[sinistersuns]

okay you’ve lost your anon privileges again. “i don’t interact” but you. you are? you’re having a tantrum in my ask box right now? i don’t even know who you are or what you’re so mad about??

[likeabxrdinflight]

it probably wasn't the best idea to google my fellow interns since the vast majority of them look like the grown up version of girls who would have bullied me in middle school...

[theamazingannie]

I’m sick of Zionists (plus transphobes and racists who do this too) pretending to care about women to suit their agenda. If you REALLY care about women being raped, where are you when 1 in 6 women are estimated to experience sexual assault at least once in their lifetime? Where are you when most rapes aren’t even reported because no one believes women? Where are you when most reported rapes are dismissed because of a “lack of evidence”? Where are you when most rape cases that go to trial fail to get a conviction? Where are you when the ones that DO get a conviction only lead to a jail time of a few months? Where are you when the cis white men in your own country rape women and make jokes about raping women and beating women and treating women like shit? Imagine if all the people who use the rape of women to suit their agendas used that energy to care about ALL rapes. Imagine how quickly rape culture would end. But you don’t actually care about women. You just know that the people who side against you care about women, so you use that to appeal to them. PROVE you care about women other than when it’s useful to you. Attack the rapists in your own communities instead of ignoring those ones and only attacking rapists outside your communities

[autolenaphilia]

This post has been in the back of my mind ever since i saw it last year because it is a mask off moment for a usually more subtle transmisogynist. : I blacked out the account names being accused in the screenshot above, because i don't want to be spreading fake transmisogynistic callouts around even to be criticquing them.

Like "trans women are sexual predators who use their identity as queer women as cover to prey on children and other vulnerable people, and liberals are too afraid of being called transmisogynistic to stop them" is like the basic transmisogynist narrative. It's literally the terf narrative about trans women. This is the real terf rhetoric, not trans women criticizing (trans)misogyny.

Yet it is still so common among ostensibly transfem-accepting liberals/leftists. Like trans women using their identity as a shield against legitimate criticism of their predatory behavior is such a common trope in queer spaces that claim to be against terfs. This is because TME people use hating on terfs as a substitute for dealing with their own transmisogyny.

This is extremely common among people in the callout culture transmisogyny fandom like the screenshotted blogger.They go for this line about "transfems using their identity as a shield against genuine criticism" all the time when their obvious if lightly veiled transmisogyny is pointed out. This is their main argument, their own shield against criticism. And it rings very hollow when these people call out transfem after transfem as sexual predators based on them liking harmless kinks like fauxcest and CNC, literally using old radfem arguments against kink.

What this sort of thing is, is the denial that transmisogyny even exists. A claim that instead of being an especially oppressed class of women, we are actually a privileged group. And terfs here are open about saying it's because we are men and have male privilege. The more subtle kind of transmisogynist, the "trans women are women, terfs dni" crowd, leaves the trans women have male privilege bit unsaid but implied.

And of course it's false. As people are surely aware, being transfem makes you more likely to publicly accused of being a sexual menace. And they are most likely false accusations. Accusations against the privileged and powerful, like cis men, are seldom false. The social power that these men wield make it dangerous for any victim to come forward.

Accusations towards members of marginalized groups like transfems, however, are easy and safe to make, because they don't have that kind of social power or privilege. Their position in any social setting is tenuous, and it's easy to turn the group against them to exile them. Transfems don't have the power to defend themselves even against the flimsiest of accusations, while privileged men can defend themselves even against the most well-documented ones. Transfems are instead more likely to be victims of abuse, and then DARVOed by their abusers, being accused of abuse when they were actually abused.

The fact is that transfems can "scream transmisogyny" but few TME people, including other lgbt people, are not likely to listen.

And this is not a "white girl" problem despite what the screenshotted post implies. This problem is far worse for black transfems suffering from transmisogynynoir, and other non-white transfems. Read writings written by black transfems like Position of Guilt: Black Hot Allostatic Load by Anonsee Storyweaver.

[max1461]

Everybody does the exact same stupid shit. That white nationalist anon I was getting a while ago would send me story after story of some random black guy or immigrant committing a violent crime against a white person. Well, yeah, people are violent, you're gonna find those if you go looking for them. And there's a lot of racial animosity in the world, so you'll even find racially charged ones if you go looking! No shit, Sherlock. We could play this game all day. You find me a news story of a black guy killing a white guy, I find you a news story of white guy killing a black guy. This does no one any good.

TERFs are identical. News story after news story of a trans woman raping somebody. Yeah, the world is an awful place and people rape each other. I can find you a news story of a cis woman raping a teenage boy and getting three months in jail. I can find you a news story of a cis mom killing her disabled kid cause they're too much work. But I don't want to. The world sucks shit, why gorge yourself on the tragedy?

Zionists come up with news story after news story of pro-Palestinian/BDS/whatever protestors being antisemitic. Yep. A lot of people out there hate Jews. And there has been a genuine rise in antisemitism since the Oct. 7th attack, and that's awful. There are no excuses for that. Do you know what else has happened since then? The Israeli military has slaughtered tens of thousands of Palestinians, including huge numbers of innocent civilians—men, women and children.

People are often terrible to each other. Welcome to Earth. If you go looking for bad actors in a big enough group, you are guaranteed to find them. How about this. What about all the black people who didn't kill a white little girl? What about the black little girls? What about their hopes and dreams? What about their chance at life? What about all the trans women who didn't rape anybody in a bathroom? What if they just want to go about their lives, without constant public scrutiny of what genitals they have (as a cis woman, can you empathize with that? Constant public scrutiny of what you're doing with your genitals?). What about the 30,000 Palestinians who have been killed, and the 70,000 who have been displaced from their homes?

Fear has made you a monster. Fear has driven you to demand slaughter and oppression of innocent people because they look like guilty people you read about on the news, and since they look the same to you, you feel fearful—how can you tell whether these are the innocent ones or the guilty ones? Best to oppress and slaughter them preemptively just to be safe. I am here to tell you that this twisted logic of self-defense does not hold. I do not care if you feel safe—I do not care if you are safe—if the cost of your safety is innocent life. The world is a risky place. I am not going to deny that. Horrible things could happen to any of us. If we go around preemptively attacking other over it, we do not make it a bit better. And, needless to say, danger comes from everywhere, from every group of human beings, and oppressing the people who make you nervous will not, in fact, deliver you from danger. It just makes you a monster.

[trans-androgyne]

55% of men voted for Trump.

So did 53% of white women.

Fewer than half as many black men voted for Trump compared to white women by percentage (21%). This isn’t even taking queerness into account, as 13% of queer folks overall voted for him. Do you expect trans men were voting red in droves, when they’re so heavily impacted by abortion and gender affirming care issues?

This is not a men vs. women issue. It’s about who is granted privilege and who isn’t. There are absolutely women in this country with more privileges than certain marginalized men.

Being a woman does not make you a safe person. Being a man does not make you an unsafe person. As a trans person of color I do not trust the average cis white woman more than the average cis white man. Lashing out at all men and only men for the outcome of this election does not solve any problems.

Source. If you have ones that break down votes by LGBT+ identity better I would be appreciative, as I couldn’t find any.

[drdemonprince]

have you defined the meaning of “white woman brain” anywhere and if not, can you? /gen

Many Black and brown feminist writers have discussed this phenomenon and I encourage you to seek out a lot of writing about this subject, because there are a variety of perspectives, but to distill it, white woman fragility brain is a phenomenon that is not exclusive to either white people or to women, but is especially common among those who can weaponize white womanhood, and it consists of the following qualities:

A view of oneself as a helpless victim that is constantly in threat of being attacked, especially by strangers (even though statistically, this is not the case).

A refusal to consider oneself as capable of doing harm to others, especially a lack of consideration toward others' body autonomy or consent. (even while being highly concerned about one's own autonomy and consent).

A generally passive or passive-aggressive orientation toward the world: seeing oneself as a romantic or sexual object to be approached, but never wanting to initiate (or feeling that one never can), never feeling comfortable directly communicating displeasure or one's desires, believing that others instead must guess at it. (and then resenting people when they don't, but never expressing it).

A tendency to cry, excessively berate oneself, complain about being made to feel "unsafe," or give up when criticized or challenged, especially when challenged by people of color.

A tendency to associate a person's body type with how much of a threat they are. For example, feeling unsafe around people with penises and expecting a social space to accommodate that fear to cater to you, a fear of people who come from cultures where it's common to speak loudly, a fear of those who are large, assertive, and/or darker-skinned.

Instinctive fawning-type responses to stress, and a pattern of feigning happiness, agreeability, and ease when one is not genuinely feeling it, and expecting all other people (but especially other women) to feign happiness as well, paired with a deep-seated resentment of anyone who violates this illusion and expresses any negativity (being especially punitive toward women of color).

Instinctively "smoothing over" conflict between other people before it even begins, even when healthy conflict is necessary and not at all your business-- often performed by gossiping behind other people's backs, triangulating information when it is not yours to share, asking people to alter their behavior in order to avoid a reaction from somebody else, presenting your concerns as if they were somebody else's ("what will people think!"), tone-policing the airing of grievances, derailing hard conversations with more light-hearted topics, and excluding people who are known to be candid and assertive.

Here are some articles on elements of the phenomenon and why it is so dangerous:

Now, I single white cis women out a lot when I am describing this phenomenon, because they have the most to gain from exhibiting these qualities, but make no mistake: this is a pattern that many types of people can and do use. I have seen white trans women use white women's tears to silence critique. I have witnessed women of color being passive-aggressively derailed and silenced by a Black manager who was in a position of institutional power over them. Multiple of the women who sexually harassed me in the story linked above were not white. And LORD knows I see plenty of t boys falling back on this shit, as well as cis men from wealthy backgrounds. It's a mindset that has deep colonial roots and we all must be on the look out for it in ourselves and others, and we must be vigilant in uprooting it.

[inkskinned]

there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

[whereserpentswalk]

Hi, I saw one of your latest posts talking about the gender "segregation" where you state that women's only spaces shouldn't exist. So, if that was actually real, do you think me, a cis lesbian woman, should I be using a changing room or a bathroom used also by people with penises?

I would feel very uncomfortable being naked near someone who is biologically a male and I have the right to say no, no matter how they react, cis women's feelings matter too and nobody can tell me when I should be uncomfortable, same thing goes for sports, cis women could get physically hurt if a biological male played against them and this had already happened in a school in the US.

This more confirms how you far left activists don't care about us

I do not care about people's disgust when it comes to means of segregation. Do you think that during the 1960s there was no white person who felt uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with someone with dark skin when desegregation hit bathrooms and locker rooms? Do you think there's no white person who feels that way now (hell, a big reason American suberbs are a thing is that it allows white people to live in white only places post civil rights laws)?

How is your desire to feel comfortable through segregation any diffrent? There is a group you feel uncomfortable with in a space so you want it segregated, I suggest you either not use that space or find a way to be more comfortable. Society may have a responsibility for you to be safe, but there is no responsibility for you to feel safe.

And do you think nobody wants to be segregated away from you? You're literally a queer person, there are people who do not want you in public because of the exact same uncomfortablity with you. You probably have way more in common with trans people than most cis people do. If many people were allowed to remove what makes them uncomfortable from society, you would be forced into the closet. This isn't a hypothetical, the same people pushing for removal of trans people from society have same sex relationships as their next target.

Uncomfortablity is not something society can or should protect you from.

[sylviii]

there’s something awful about how transfems are so rarely given a moment in a positive spotlight that sometimes it’s easy to become resentful over who gets that spotlight. I can’t appreciate my cis friends and community members speaking out against transphobic laws because they only seem to focus on the “drag ban” part of it. I can’t appreciate trans women getting more roles in Hollywood because those roles are only going to skinny, traditionally feminine white trans women. I can’t appreciate my friend getting a job because I still don’t have one.

I think it’s an important reminder that all our struggles are intertwined, that we truly have not made the world safe for transfem people until it’s safe for BIPOC transfems, for homeless transfems, for fat transfems, etc. and of course there are a million things to unpack about why drag queens get so much more attention and concern than transfems just trying to living our lives. But I think it’s also important to interrogate that bitterness, to make sure it doesn’t fester into jealousy, that we maintain the balance of speaking up for ourselves while also maintaining solidarity and celebrating the small joys there are. idk

[spacelazarwolf]

Ngl I don’t trust a space that advertises itself as being for women and trans people or “anyone who isn’t a cis man” cause. I pass. Like I have a beard, a deep voice, and I’ve had top surgery. People look at me and assume I’m a cis man. I would probably be interrogated at the door and harassed by everyone there who decided it was no longer a safe space cause there’s an obvious man there. If your safe space requires me to flash my cunt at the door to prove I belong there I don’t want to be there. But oops, guess that means I can’t take part in feminist activism apparently. And you can say both spaces can exist all you want, but 1) what is the point of activism if you don’t want the privileged group to hear you? It sounds like what you’re looking for is a support group, also 2) if you live in too small a town, you’ll probably end up with one space in total and if they decide it’s exclusive to certain groups, and you either are an ally or in theory someone the group is trying to support but not in practice (eg, passing trans men), then I guess you’re left with no choice but to go fuck yourself? Doesn’t seem reasonable.

!!!!!!!

any group that is entirely based on the identity of who they’re letting in and not the actual function of the group is always going to go to shit.

“this group is for women and non cismen bc we deserve a space to talk abt the abuse we’ve faced from men!” ok where do cis men who are victims of abuse go? are they such a different species that you couldn’t possibly connect with them about shared trauma?

“this group is for women and non cismen bc our reproductive rights are under attack!” ok so you don’t want trans women or anyone who’s had a hysterectomy there? are you okay with a pro life woman being there and actively telling the other attendees that they’re child killers because they’ve had an abortion?

“this group is for women and non cismen bc we understand what it’s like to be afraid walking alone at night!” ok so where do black and brown cis men go who can’t even walk alone during the day without getting followed by cops or labeled as “suspicious” by white women?

you are always, ALWAYS going to be more successful if you label your group based on the PURPOSE of the group.