#no one is dying here

[frenchie-fallen-angel]

Fandom: คนกลางแล้วไง | Wednesday Club (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peem (Wednesday Club)/May (Wednesday Club) Characters: Peem (Wednesday Club), May (Wednesday Club), Mink (Wednesday Club), Kong (Wednesday Club) mentioned Additional Tags: M/F romance, Set right at the end of episode 4, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Roommates to friends to maybe more, Open Ending, Peem is a real people pleaser, May is suffering, Self-Harm, Self-Destruction, Mental Health Issues, Mention of blood, Grief, Angst, No beta reader, no one is dying here

/// Please take notice of the tags before reading! /// What if Peem chose to bring Mink at the club's room instead of May's condo? What if May comes home to an empty apartment? What if Peem came back to the condo later, making a terrible discovery? May is losing control of her emotions after Kong's rejection and the lost of her father's gun, she can't take it anymore. But she isn't as lonely as she thinks she is. Peem will always try to make people around him feel safe. He can't stand seeing others suffering without acting on it. But maybe this time this isn't only his people pleaser personality that urges him to help his broken roommate. Or "No one loves me. Everyone eventually leaves me." "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

**May**

May opens her condo’s door. She slowly closes it and lets her bag fall to the ground, leaving her shoes in a messy way at the entrance. She then walks lazily to the open kitchen scanning her environment, making sure no one was home.

She knows that Peem is working tonight, so she isn't surprised by the silence living in the apartment. The young woman still tries to be careful, just to be sure.

"Peem? Are you here?" She asks to the emptiness, meeting no response.

She makes her way to her bed and falls backward on it, spreading her arms.

She is alone, as always. She'll always be alone.

Maybe she just wasn't made to be loved? Then what is the point of her being on earth then?

She just wanted to have someone loving her, looking out for her, someone that could be her rock. She was so certain that Kong would be this person for her. He is kind with a bad boy attitude, good looking without being superficial, he is nice to her when no one is. He was… He isn’t.

Now he hates her and she hates him. He even took away the last remnant of her father’s presence from her. Today, May had lost her father a second time, while losing her unbirthed love. And all of that because of one boy.

Or maybe was it because of her cupidity?  Peem had told her at the very beginning that Kong’s eyes online showed love to Tam, but she didn’t listen. He told her to be careful, but she didn’t listen. She lost before even beginning. She kinda deserved it, in a way.

So many dark thoughts are drowning her. She wants her father back. She wants someone to hold her, to tell her it’s going to be okay and that she is important to this life. But, she’s alone, in her empty condo, surrounded by a painful silence. Her dad had lied to her: no one can love her.

Then, an unpredictable spur makes her stand up. She can’t take it anymore. This is too much. Nothingness transforms into rage and May starts wrecking everything in the apartment. She needs to find a solution to make it stop. So she searches again and again, not knowing what she’s ready to search for. Something that could release her pain or something that could just make her stop feeling altogether.

Firstly, she wrecks the whole bedroom, even the clothes in the wardrobe ended up thrown apart all around the floor. Then, she moved to the living room where every object got thrown all around the room and the furniture light enough for her ended up upside down, only stopping to scratch her own face and pull her own hair in despair. Finally, she ended up in the bathroom.

There, she starts doing the same ceremonial protocol as before. From her skincare to Peem’s razor, nothing gets past her. Until she finds out what she was looking for.

As she took a handful of products in the lowest drawer, Nothing cut her right hand’s palm. She drops everything on the floor and looks at it. She looks at the blood slowly running down her hand, to her wrist, to her forearm, to end up it’s run on her elbow, falling to the floor. She’s hypnotized.

May doesn’t know how long she stayed like that but the next thing she knew, she was on the floor searching for her wound’s source. She finally finds toenail scissors made for kids that have her blood on their slightly pointy tip.

Without any thought in her mind, May turns her body in the bathtub direction and starts her new work. She maniacally starts stabbing her left forearm with this made-up weapon, only stopping once in her while to gain back her strength. Tears start falling from her emotional face without her realizing.

Dark thoughts are floating all around her. Reminding the young woman about how she lost everything, about how the people she loves and care about always leave her behind, about how she doesn’t seem to fit anywhere in this fucked-up world. Those words are replaying again and again in her damaged brain, so she doesn’t even understand them anymore, they are just sounds now. Everything becomes numb, until she doesn’t even remember who she is anymore, and what she’s doing.

**Peem**

Peem just left Mink upstairs in the club’s room.He’s confident that he made the right choice. He couldn’t leave her to herself after all those revelations, but he couldn’t bring her to May’s apartment either. The grumpy girl looked seconds away from throwing him out of her condo just this morning. He wouldn’t play with fire and become homeless again. The club’s room is hidden enough, won’t be used in the next few days and has everything Mink could need. There are still sodas and food in the mini-fridge, and multiple couches to sleep on.

The older woman didn’t want him to leave her in this unknown place, though. But the young musician needed his college’s stuff to be prepared for tomorrow’s classes. So, he chose to do a quick round trip to May’s condo just to leave his guitar in a safe place and to get his stuff.

Peem feels content with himself. He has always been someone who likes to take care of others. Feeling useful makes him feel alive. It means his existence isn’t for nothing. So tonight, having a woman coming to him and trusting him enough to ask for his help, it boosted his confidence.

But when Peem arrives in the apartment, everything is upside down. After a few seconds of astonishment, the musician realizes that he can hear small whining coming from the bathroom. Something is off because it doesn't sound like May, but he can clearly understand that someone is in danger. He drops his precious guitar bag and runs toward the suspicious sound.

He finds May on the floor, leaning her upper body onto the bathtub. He can only see her back and the subdued lighting isn’t helping in this horror movie scenery. Peem gets closer to his roommate very slowly, trying not to make a sound.

May seems to shiver a lot or maybe is it muscular spasm? He looks around at the mess that is their shared bathroom. All the drawers’ contents have been thrown on the floor. The make-up pencil and toothbrushes bathing in a mixture of foundation, nail polish and perfume. The musician is so focused on the deranged art that it became the tiled floor to notice that his roommate started to move again.

Then, his attention is snatched by May’s sudden and loud cry. He has the time to see her brandish a metallic and pointy object before she hits her opposite arm with it. Peem realized that there are toenail scissors  in her hand, glossy with blood. And she’s clearly stabbing her other arm with it.

Peem grabs the scissors and throws them away quickly. May doesn’t have time to react or even recognize him before he takes her away from the bathtub and takes her in his arms by instinct, thinking it would calm her down.

She cries a lot, screaming to let her go, that he can’t control her. But the young man resists at his roommate’s savage strength and holds her still. He doesn’t really know what to do. Actually, he doesn’t really know what’s happening right now. So, he keeps her there thinking that she will eventually calm down, at least from fatigue.

As May is getting weaker, she uses her last strength to shout: “No one loves me. No one cares about me.” Which makes Peem angry because he cares. How can she think that she doesn’t matter? That no one cares, when she’s always surrounded by people wherever she goes?

So he finally pushes her away enough to see her ravaged scratched face, still holding her by her shoulders. That’s when he sees in her eyes the realization of who he is.

Her verbal reaction isn’t long coming. “I already told you not to get into my business! Let me go! We are not a couple, can’t you understand?! We are nothing to each other! Let me go!” But Peem doesn’t.

His eyes get darker though, not liking what he is hearing. It hurts him. Yeah, it’s true, they aren’t a couple, but they are friends. Does this mean nothing to her?

So, for the first time in a long time, Peem stands up for himself and shouts back. “There are people who care about you May! Stop talking bullshit! I’m your friend! I do care! And I know I’m not the only one! Everyone in the club cares about you to some extent.” He doesn’t even realize that he is slightly shaking her like it would make his words get to her brain easier.

May slowly stops fighting back. There is no energy left in her usual fierceful eyes.Then, after a few seconds of silence, she collapses in Peem’s arms, tears flowing. “That’s a lie. Kong hates me.”

Peem makes a tsk sound when he understands what obliviously happened earlier. “Did he reject you? Is this what all of this is about, Kong rejecting you?” He asks her bluntly.

Peem regrets his words as soon as they left his lips. He doesn’t know why he reacted this archly. It’s not how he normally acts. Plus, he knows for a fact that in this kind of situation, only softly speaking could calm the person down. Attacking her like he did, will only make it worse, one way or another.

“Everyone that loves me leaves me. Mum left for America, Dad…. left this life. I thought Kong cared because he was so nice, but…” May’s voice is muffled in the crook of her roommate's neck.

Peem tries to be soft again. “Hey. Am I not nice with you? I tried to make you food, I do the grocery shipping and I clean the condo for the both of us. I literally became your personal servant! Isn’t this nice?”

May hit lightly on his chest. “Stop trying to make jokes, you’re not good at it.”

Peem smiles despite himself seeing the old May coming back from the dead.

“Are you sure? Because it seems that you’ve stopped crying just now.” He teases her.

The next hour, they took their time. May slowly comes out of her shell, and lets Peem dress her wounds. Thankfully, the toenail scissors are small and not sharp, they just made superficial wounds. After that, the young musician choses the pajama he saw his roommate wearing all week in her room and brings it back to her.

As May is changing into her indoor fit, her roommate is on his phone outside of the bathroom, leaving her some privacy.

He’s texting Mink, informing her that he had an emergency and won’t come back to the club’s room tonight. He doesn’t share the details of the situation, just that his roommate really needs him. He also informs her that he will come back to her as early as possible tomorrow morning, when he would be reassured about May’s safety. Pali’s sister tries to convince him that she needs him more, that she’s in great danger, but the visual of May covered in her own blood shaking unnaturally is still fresh in Peem’s mind, so she can’t change his mind.

He knows that Mink is indeed in danger, but her danger is external. And her being in a hidden place made this threat under control at least for tonight. May’s danger is internal. She’s her own danger. So, he can’t leave her alone for the time being.

Mink doesn’ seem happy about Peem’s rejection, and earlier this would have hurt the people pleaser that Peem is. But, right now, he couldn’t care less. He even starts thinking that P’Mink is quite selfish for not understanding his own situation when he took her under his wing the moment he heard about her ex-husband.

He hears May opening the bathroom’s door slowly, so he puts his phone away and looks at her. She’s still covered in scratches but they are not only thin pink lines, her pajama’s sleeve is covering the bandages wrapping her left forearm. The broken girl’s eyes are still puffy, but they aren’t filled with despair and fear anymore.

He smiles reassuringly at her before taking by surprise by lifting her on her shoulder to bring her to her bedroom.

“Peem! Put me down now! This isn’t funny” Well grumpy May is really back, it makes him chunkles when he drops her on the expensive mattress.

Then, they spent minutes or hours, Peem doesn’t know, set in their unmoving positions. May is laying on her side on one end of her bed, hands under the pillow where her head is resting, staring into space. While her roommate is sitting on the floor right next to her, observing her while caressing her hair slowly in a tender manner. Sometimes May is silent, sometimes she isn’t. Peem is waiting for her to express her feelings without pressuring her. And when she does, he nods to encourage her even if she isn’t looking at him.

Most of the time, she talks about how close she was with her father, how much she misses him, and how much it hurts to have been left behind. She relates in detail how many times she tried to take her own life but wasn’t brave enough. Peem confines himself to just listen, and soundlessly encourages her to continue instead of actually reacting. Even if he has to admit that he is quite alerted by what he’s hearing right now. He didn’t suspect that May’s pain was this deep. Inside, he is already collecting all those information to plan something to help her get out of this situation. He doesn’t know yet, but he will find a way for her to love life again, and particularly, for her to understand that there are people who care and love her.

She also mentions Kong, obviously. Their club’s self-proclaimed president really broke her heart today. But Peem isn’t mad at him, he never gave hope to May, she just was too blinded by her obsessive love to see the truth. Kong isn’t to blame here. May’s mental state is.

Peem also understands that Kong taking May’s father’s gun away from her was a bad move, but Kong only wanted to protect his friend. Maybe May will understand that she’s wrong in the future. But today is the day for that. She needs to heal first. So Peem doesn’t correct her when she talks about taking revenge on the other boy. He innocently thinks that this is part of the healing process and that she won’t go through with it. She can’t be serious.

“If I can’t be happy, no one can.” May says to end her vengeful tirade, pouting adorably in the process. How could someone seriously think that she could hurt someone right now?

After a few minutes of silence, Peem feels that May is getting emotional again. Her eyes are getting watering in real time.

“I’m so tired of being lonely. I don’t know how long I can keep going like that…” A tear is escaping her left eyelid as she speaks, running straight for the pillow.

Peem gets closer and puts his free hand on her shoulder while the other is still caressing her hair. “I’m right here May, and I’m not going anywhere.” He tells her with a reassuring smile before going back to his initial position.

She snorts with disdain as an answer and adjusts her head on her pillow. After this, it didn’t take long for her to close her eyes and drift to sleep. Her facial expression finally looks serene, so Peem stops moving his right hand but keeps it on his roommate’s head. The young musician doesn’t realize just yet that he hasn’t stopped smiling for a while now.

As he starts feeling uncomfortable he looks up to find something to sit on that would hurt his spine, while still being close to his roommate. His eyes catch his own reflection in the big mirror in front of the bed.

He’s shocked to recognize a well-known look on his face.

The same look he saw on Tam’s face while she looked at Pali.

The same look he saw on Kong’s face while he looked at Tam.

The same look he saw on May’s face while she looked at Kong.

Well, he’s fucked.

[greykolla-art]

“I’m a SHARK-” said Alastor the deer demon, “because it’s a good metaphor!’

(NO I will not do a part 2!💕)

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

[sapsolace]

obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

[chatlote]

Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.

[vaguely-concerned]

are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid

[krysmcscience]

It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)

Yeesh, this took forever. <:)

There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D

(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)

anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao

Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:

I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL

Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:

The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.

They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:

In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:

Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:

Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)

Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:

And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D

what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)

And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:

It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.

Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD

Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.

Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…

Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D

They’re also 100% a sub, obviously

Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic

The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO

Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:

Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:

Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)

Last but not least, have these shittens:

~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.

The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ

Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES

First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.

I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.

All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).

(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)

Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔

Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.

He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)

I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.

So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.

Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…

Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)

They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.

(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)

But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.

He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.

Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.

The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c

And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯

oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it

Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)

[shehzadi]

so israel simultaneously bombed: an ambulance convoy going to the rafah egypt-palestine border that was transporting the most severely injured, the main entrance to al-shifa hospital, the vicinity of al-quds hospital and the indonesian hospital. in doing so, they’ve martyred at least dozens of people, with the numbers still climbing, only to then bomb the osama bin zaid UNRWA school barely an hour later, and the scenes coming out of there are literally those of children blown to pieces. they are unrecognisable as humans. may Allah accept them all as martyrs. and if that wasn’t enough, al-shifa, which is now completely overwhelmed with martyrs’ bodies and even more injured people than before since it’s sheltering and treating those from 1. the ambulance bombing and 2. the entrance bombing, is now totally blacked out. no more light or electricity.

while all this was happening in ghazzah, israeli settlers, aided by the israeli military, were/have been continuously forcing palestinians from their land in the west bank by burning their land and shooting palestinians.

this is only what has happened today (03.11.23) in a period of about 2-3 hours. remember, this has been the last 75 years for palestinians.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Unsolved Mysteries.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[yashley]

vex & pike in c3e112

[teddytheartist]

Zukka for the win my guys

[rbvcdeluxe]

something something max's main color being red with blue highlights something something grace's main color being blue with red highlights something something motivations something something alive and dead something something

[ryssbelle]

Thought of this while at work, sorry it's a bit hard to read I sketched it out really fast before my last shift lmao wanted to get it done so I could work on other stuff hehe

If it's any consultation Floyd is mostly talking about himself

[m1nsur0]

Same Branch, Different Leaves.

[Sun Wukong and the Destined One]

[ryllen]

I was just THINKING OF HOW ANNOYING Sebek is, H O N E S T .