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frenchie-fallen-angel · 1 year ago

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Fandom: คนกลางแล้วไง | Wednesday Club (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peem (Wednesday Club)/May (Wednesday Club) Characters: Peem (Wednesday Club), May (Wednesday Club), Mink (Wednesday Club), Kong (Wednesday Club) mentioned Additional Tags: M/F romance, Set right at the end of episode 4, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Roommates to friends to maybe more, Open Ending, Peem is a real people pleaser, May is suffering, Self-Harm, Self-Destruction, Mental Health Issues, Mention of blood, Grief, Angst, No beta reader, no one is dying here

/// Please take notice of the tags before reading! /// What if Peem chose to bring Mink at the club's room instead of May's condo? What if May comes home to an empty apartment? What if Peem came back to the condo later, making a terrible discovery? May is losing control of her emotions after Kong's rejection and the lost of her father's gun, she can't take it anymore. But she isn't as lonely as she thinks she is. Peem will always try to make people around him feel safe. He can't stand seeing others suffering without acting on it. But maybe this time this isn't only his people pleaser personality that urges him to help his broken roommate. Or "No one loves me. Everyone eventually leaves me." "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

**May**

May opens her condo’s door. She slowly closes it and lets her bag fall to the ground, leaving her shoes in a messy way at the entrance. She then walks lazily to the open kitchen scanning her environment, making sure no one was home.

She knows that Peem is working tonight, so she isn't surprised by the silence living in the apartment. The young woman still tries to be careful, just to be sure.

"Peem? Are you here?" She asks to the emptiness, meeting no response.

She makes her way to her bed and falls backward on it, spreading her arms.

She is alone, as always. She'll always be alone.

Maybe she just wasn't made to be loved? Then what is the point of her being on earth then?

She just wanted to have someone loving her, looking out for her, someone that could be her rock. She was so certain that Kong would be this person for her. He is kind with a bad boy attitude, good looking without being superficial, he is nice to her when no one is. He was… He isn’t.

Now he hates her and she hates him. He even took away the last remnant of her father’s presence from her. Today, May had lost her father a second time, while losing her unbirthed love. And all of that because of one boy.

Or maybe was it because of her cupidity? Peem had told her at the very beginning that Kong’s eyes online showed love to Tam, but she didn’t listen. He told her to be careful, but she didn’t listen. She lost before even beginning. She kinda deserved it, in a way.

So many dark thoughts are drowning her. She wants her father back. She wants someone to hold her, to tell her it’s going to be okay and that she is important to this life. But, she’s alone, in her empty condo, surrounded by a painful silence. Her dad had lied to her: no one can love her.

Then, an unpredictable spur makes her stand up. She can’t take it anymore. This is too much. Nothingness transforms into rage and May starts wrecking everything in the apartment. She needs to find a solution to make it stop. So she searches again and again, not knowing what she’s ready to search for. Something that could release her pain or something that could just make her stop feeling altogether.

Firstly, she wrecks the whole bedroom, even the clothes in the wardrobe ended up thrown apart all around the floor. Then, she moved to the living room where every object got thrown all around the room and the furniture light enough for her ended up upside down, only stopping to scratch her own face and pull her own hair in despair. Finally, she ended up in the bathroom.

There, she starts doing the same ceremonial protocol as before. From her skincare to Peem’s razor, nothing gets past her. Until she finds out what she was looking for.

As she took a handful of products in the lowest drawer, Nothing cut her right hand’s palm. She drops everything on the floor and looks at it. She looks at the blood slowly running down her hand, to her wrist, to her forearm, to end up it’s run on her elbow, falling to the floor. She’s hypnotized.

May doesn’t know how long she stayed like that but the next thing she knew, she was on the floor searching for her wound’s source. She finally finds toenail scissors made for kids that have her blood on their slightly pointy tip.

Without any thought in her mind, May turns her body in the bathtub direction and starts her new work. She maniacally starts stabbing her left forearm with this made-up weapon, only stopping once in her while to gain back her strength. Tears start falling from her emotional face without her realizing.

Dark thoughts are floating all around her. Reminding the young woman about how she lost everything, about how the people she loves and care about always leave her behind, about how she doesn’t seem to fit anywhere in this fucked-up world. Those words are replaying again and again in her damaged brain, so she doesn’t even understand them anymore, they are just sounds now. Everything becomes numb, until she doesn’t even remember who she is anymore, and what she’s doing.

**Peem**

Peem just left Mink upstairs in the club’s room.He’s confident that he made the right choice. He couldn’t leave her to herself after all those revelations, but he couldn’t bring her to May’s apartment either. The grumpy girl looked seconds away from throwing him out of her condo just this morning. He wouldn’t play with fire and become homeless again. The club’s room is hidden enough, won’t be used in the next few days and has everything Mink could need. There are still sodas and food in the mini-fridge, and multiple couches to sleep on.

The older woman didn’t want him to leave her in this unknown place, though. But the young musician needed his college’s stuff to be prepared for tomorrow’s classes. So, he chose to do a quick round trip to May’s condo just to leave his guitar in a safe place and to get his stuff.

Peem feels content with himself. He has always been someone who likes to take care of others. Feeling useful makes him feel alive. It means his existence isn’t for nothing. So tonight, having a woman coming to him and trusting him enough to ask for his help, it boosted his confidence.

But when Peem arrives in the apartment, everything is upside down. After a few seconds of astonishment, the musician realizes that he can hear small whining coming from the bathroom. Something is off because it doesn't sound like May, but he can clearly understand that someone is in danger. He drops his precious guitar bag and runs toward the suspicious sound.

He finds May on the floor, leaning her upper body onto the bathtub. He can only see her back and the subdued lighting isn’t helping in this horror movie scenery. Peem gets closer to his roommate very slowly, trying not to make a sound.

May seems to shiver a lot or maybe is it muscular spasm? He looks around at the mess that is their shared bathroom. All the drawers’ contents have been thrown on the floor. The make-up pencil and toothbrushes bathing in a mixture of foundation, nail polish and perfume. The musician is so focused on the deranged art that it became the tiled floor to notice that his roommate started to move again.

Then, his attention is snatched by May’s sudden and loud cry. He has the time to see her brandish a metallic and pointy object before she hits her opposite arm with it. Peem realized that there are toenail scissors in her hand, glossy with blood. And she’s clearly stabbing her other arm with it.

Peem grabs the scissors and throws them away quickly. May doesn’t have time to react or even recognize him before he takes her away from the bathtub and takes her in his arms by instinct, thinking it would calm her down.

She cries a lot, screaming to let her go, that he can’t control her. But the young man resists at his roommate’s savage strength and holds her still. He doesn’t really know what to do. Actually, he doesn’t really know what’s happening right now. So, he keeps her there thinking that she will eventually calm down, at least from fatigue.

As May is getting weaker, she uses her last strength to shout: “No one loves me. No one cares about me.” Which makes Peem angry because he cares. How can she think that she doesn’t matter? That no one cares, when she’s always surrounded by people wherever she goes?

So he finally pushes her away enough to see her ravaged scratched face, still holding her by her shoulders. That’s when he sees in her eyes the realization of who he is.

Her verbal reaction isn’t long coming. “I already told you not to get into my business! Let me go! We are not a couple, can’t you understand?! We are nothing to each other! Let me go!” But Peem doesn’t.

His eyes get darker though, not liking what he is hearing. It hurts him. Yeah, it’s true, they aren’t a couple, but they are friends. Does this mean nothing to her?

So, for the first time in a long time, Peem stands up for himself and shouts back. “There are people who care about you May! Stop talking bullshit! I’m your friend! I do care! And I know I’m not the only one! Everyone in the club cares about you to some extent.” He doesn’t even realize that he is slightly shaking her like it would make his words get to her brain easier.

May slowly stops fighting back. There is no energy left in her usual fierceful eyes.Then, after a few seconds of silence, she collapses in Peem’s arms, tears flowing. “That’s a lie. Kong hates me.”

Peem makes a tsk sound when he understands what obliviously happened earlier. “Did he reject you? Is this what all of this is about, Kong rejecting you?” He asks her bluntly.

Peem regrets his words as soon as they left his lips. He doesn’t know why he reacted this archly. It’s not how he normally acts. Plus, he knows for a fact that in this kind of situation, only softly speaking could calm the person down. Attacking her like he did, will only make it worse, one way or another.

“Everyone that loves me leaves me. Mum left for America, Dad…. left this life. I thought Kong cared because he was so nice, but…” May’s voice is muffled in the crook of her roommate's neck.

Peem tries to be soft again. “Hey. Am I not nice with you? I tried to make you food, I do the grocery shipping and I clean the condo for the both of us. I literally became your personal servant! Isn’t this nice?”

May hit lightly on his chest. “Stop trying to make jokes, you’re not good at it.”

Peem smiles despite himself seeing the old May coming back from the dead.

“Are you sure? Because it seems that you’ve stopped crying just now.” He teases her.

The next hour, they took their time. May slowly comes out of her shell, and lets Peem dress her wounds. Thankfully, the toenail scissors are small and not sharp, they just made superficial wounds. After that, the young musician choses the pajama he saw his roommate wearing all week in her room and brings it back to her.

As May is changing into her indoor fit, her roommate is on his phone outside of the bathroom, leaving her some privacy.

He’s texting Mink, informing her that he had an emergency and won’t come back to the club’s room tonight. He doesn’t share the details of the situation, just that his roommate really needs him. He also informs her that he will come back to her as early as possible tomorrow morning, when he would be reassured about May’s safety. Pali’s sister tries to convince him that she needs him more, that she’s in great danger, but the visual of May covered in her own blood shaking unnaturally is still fresh in Peem’s mind, so she can’t change his mind.

He knows that Mink is indeed in danger, but her danger is external. And her being in a hidden place made this threat under control at least for tonight. May’s danger is internal. She’s her own danger. So, he can’t leave her alone for the time being.

Mink doesn’ seem happy about Peem’s rejection, and earlier this would have hurt the people pleaser that Peem is. But, right now, he couldn’t care less. He even starts thinking that P’Mink is quite selfish for not understanding his own situation when he took her under his wing the moment he heard about her ex-husband.

He hears May opening the bathroom’s door slowly, so he puts his phone away and looks at her. She’s still covered in scratches but they are not only thin pink lines, her pajama’s sleeve is covering the bandages wrapping her left forearm. The broken girl’s eyes are still puffy, but they aren’t filled with despair and fear anymore.

He smiles reassuringly at her before taking by surprise by lifting her on her shoulder to bring her to her bedroom.

“Peem! Put me down now! This isn’t funny” Well grumpy May is really back, it makes him chunkles when he drops her on the expensive mattress.

Then, they spent minutes or hours, Peem doesn’t know, set in their unmoving positions. May is laying on her side on one end of her bed, hands under the pillow where her head is resting, staring into space. While her roommate is sitting on the floor right next to her, observing her while caressing her hair slowly in a tender manner. Sometimes May is silent, sometimes she isn’t. Peem is waiting for her to express her feelings without pressuring her. And when she does, he nods to encourage her even if she isn’t looking at him.

Most of the time, she talks about how close she was with her father, how much she misses him, and how much it hurts to have been left behind. She relates in detail how many times she tried to take her own life but wasn’t brave enough. Peem confines himself to just listen, and soundlessly encourages her to continue instead of actually reacting. Even if he has to admit that he is quite alerted by what he’s hearing right now. He didn’t suspect that May’s pain was this deep. Inside, he is already collecting all those information to plan something to help her get out of this situation. He doesn’t know yet, but he will find a way for her to love life again, and particularly, for her to understand that there are people who care and love her.

She also mentions Kong, obviously. Their club’s self-proclaimed president really broke her heart today. But Peem isn’t mad at him, he never gave hope to May, she just was too blinded by her obsessive love to see the truth. Kong isn’t to blame here. May’s mental state is.

Peem also understands that Kong taking May’s father’s gun away from her was a bad move, but Kong only wanted to protect his friend. Maybe May will understand that she’s wrong in the future. But today is the day for that. She needs to heal first. So Peem doesn’t correct her when she talks about taking revenge on the other boy. He innocently thinks that this is part of the healing process and that she won’t go through with it. She can’t be serious.

“If I can’t be happy, no one can.” May says to end her vengeful tirade, pouting adorably in the process. How could someone seriously think that she could hurt someone right now?

After a few minutes of silence, Peem feels that May is getting emotional again. Her eyes are getting watering in real time.

“I’m so tired of being lonely. I don’t know how long I can keep going like that…” A tear is escaping her left eyelid as she speaks, running straight for the pillow.

Peem gets closer and puts his free hand on her shoulder while the other is still caressing her hair. “I’m right here May, and I’m not going anywhere.” He tells her with a reassuring smile before going back to his initial position.

She snorts with disdain as an answer and adjusts her head on her pillow. After this, it didn’t take long for her to close her eyes and drift to sleep. Her facial expression finally looks serene, so Peem stops moving his right hand but keeps it on his roommate’s head. The young musician doesn’t realize just yet that he hasn’t stopped smiling for a while now.

As he starts feeling uncomfortable he looks up to find something to sit on that would hurt his spine, while still being close to his roommate. His eyes catch his own reflection in the big mirror in front of the bed.

He’s shocked to recognize a well-known look on his face.

The same look he saw on Tam’s face while she looked at Pali.

The same look he saw on Kong’s face while he looked at Tam.

The same look he saw on May’s face while she looked at Kong.

Well, he’s fucked.