#no one in my life cares so I have to put it somewhere | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eggrollforyou · 2 days ago

Text

Secrets

Law x F!Reader

WC: ~3000

CW: NSFW, MDNI, use of sex toys, established relationship, consensual voyeurism, fingering, oral (F receiving), soft dom Law, use of pet names, mutual masturbation, use of Y/N, penetrative sex, p in v

A/N: This one is for you @shy-writer-999 ! I hope this scratches that itch. Barely proofread. Enjoy!

“Where the HELL is that damn comic?!” Law shouted, his voice grated with frustration. He’s spent the last 30 minutes tearing your shared room apart looking for his newest Sora comic find. All he wanted was to take a few minutes to have a break and enjoy a light read. Something to break the monotony of medical journals and textbooks. But he couldn’t for the life of him remember where he set the comic. His desk was messier than usual, papers and books scattered and disorganized as he shifted everything around, swearing he left it on the desk. The bookshelf was left just as messy in his search, rummaging through every shelf. He rubbed his hand down his face in frustration. Alright, clearly it got put somewhere stupid. Where else can I look? He thought to himself. He couldn’t ask you where it was, you were out getting supplies with Ikkaku at the island where you were currently docked.

He was hoping to get to read while the crew were out on the island, giving him a true opportunity to be alone without worrying someone barging in and interrupting his personal time but at this rate that was less and less likely to happen. Time to move on to more unusual places to check he thinks as he walks to his nightstand. Pulling open the drawer and still not seeing anything. Maybe it’s in (Y/N)’s nightstand. At this fucking point it could be anywhere. He makes his way around the bed and pulls your nightstand drawer open with such force that all of the contents flew forward, slamming into the front of the drawer. Suddenly, he forgot what he was looking for. Right before him was something that took him completely by surprise. When he opened the drawer so forcefully, he exposed your sex toys. He smirked, picking up a toy in each hand- a wand and a clit stimulator. And just like that, the comic was long forgotten. He felt a pulse of desire as he thought about you using these. When was the last time she used this? Why does she have this? WHEN did she get them? Oh…this is going to be fun.

You and Ikkaku were making your way back to the submarine with the crate of medical supplies that Law requested you both pick up. Laughing and joking about the trouble Bepo almost got into at the market for clumsily bumping a produce stand, nearly destroying the poor farmer’s entire crop, you both entered the ship loudly. Law’s ears perked up when he heard your fit of giggles. He was in your shared room, lying in wait for your return. When you and Ikkaku unloaded the supplies and put them away, you noticed one of Law’s Sora comics under a supply of latex gloves. “Hey, Ikkaku, do you mind cataloguing these supplies? I need to get this to the Captain,” you raise the comic. “Oh yea, go for it. I’ll take care of this,” she smiles. “Thanks! I’ll see you later! I’ll catalogue on the next supply run,” you wink as you walk out of the room to head to your quarters.

You’re humming as you open the door to your quarters, “Laaaaw, baby, look what I found with the medical supplies,” you raise the comic to show your loot. “I thought you might want to read it, right? Isn’t this the new one,” and you stop. Jaw dropped, heat rushing to your cheeks, surely showing your embarrassment when you are met with the sight of Law, sitting at his desk, waiting for you. And your sex toys were on the desk in front of him. You quickly shut the door behind you. He wore a cocky half smile, his fingers pressed together in front of him. “U-uhmmm….did you go through my stuff, Law?” you question, your voice small, barely above a whisper. Your heartbeat pounding in your ears, you try to swallow the lump forming in your throat. “I was looking for that comic, thank you for finding it by the way, and checked our nightstands. Found these in there,” as he points to the toys on his now clean desk. You feel so warm with embarrassment and being on the spot. You only got them when you and Law were separated for so long when he was on Punk Hazard and Dressrosa. You needed the toys because your own hands were no longer cutting it after him. What his hands can do, make you melt.

“Am I not enough for you?” Law questions, his eyes growing dark as he stands up. You gulp, “You’re more than enough, Law. I got them when you were on Punk Hazard and Dressrosa. It was so long without you…..and I-I couldn’t take care of it myself because you’re too good at it,” you shyly smirk. He chuckles, the sound rumbling from deep in his chest as he grabs the toys and walks to you. Holding them up in front of you, he looks down and back up at you, “I want you to show me how you use them….for…research purposes.” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Your embarrassment quickly dissipates, replaced by desire in your belly as his request. “O-okay…,” you pause, waiting to see if he gives you any further direction. “Pick one,” he smirks as his gaze grows more intense, boring through you.

You pick the wand and make your way to the bed, unzipping your boiler suit, stripping down to your tank top and shorts underneath. You sit on the bed, shifting to a slight recline with your legs out and knees slightly bent. He pulls his chair around his desk to the end of the bed and sits down, arms crossed as he watches you. You gulp, I can’t believe this is happening, you think to yourself as you unbutton your shorts, shimmying out of them and your underwear at the same time. You kick them off at him. He catches them, his devilish smile and heavy lidded eyes spurring more confidence in you. “Spread your legs, baby,” he growls and you instantly comply, “That's it…just like that.” Exposing your cunt to him, you grow wetter by the second. You turn on your wand and as you take it to the apex of your thighs, you slowly rub your other hand down your other thigh. Pressing the wand on your clit, you immediately close your eyes in the pleasure the stimulation brings. You gasp and bite your lip, slowly increasing the pressure and moving the wand in small circles on your clit.

Law leans forward as he adjusts his jeans, his length achingly tight in them, as he rests his elbows on his knees. His breathing increases as he watches you pleasure yourself. Your head thrown back in pleasure, eyes closed, biting your lip. It’s driving him wild. He wants nothing more than to confirm how much more pleasure he brings you, but he’s enjoying himself at the moment. Trying to hold out before he ruins you. “Don’t close your eyes, baby. Look at me,” he commands. Your eyes snap open and you both take in each other’s forms. You apply more pressure with the wand, bringing yourself closer to orgasm. You're spurred on by seeing him palm his length through his jeans. Suddenly, he drops your shorts but still holds your panties. He unbottons his jeans and pulls them down, exposing his hard cock- tip angry and red from its confinement- as he wraps your panties around his length and begins slowly fisting himself with them. You moan at the sight and stop pleasuring yourself for a moment. You groan then, not intending to stop. “Please, Law, please make me feel good. No one else can like you,” you plead. “Tch- don’t stop. Be a good girl and cum for me. If you’re good, then I’ll fuck you,” he demands as he continues to fist his cock.

You bite your lip harder at the sight and nod as you press the wand to your clit again. As you adjust the pressure you’re applying from harder to lighter, you continue to watch each other, connecting through intense eye contact which only fuels your desire. You push one leg out straight and bring the other up, grabbing your knee as you feel the coil in your abdomen begin to unravel. Your eyes close tightly as you approach your orgasm and with a harder press from the wand, you snap. “F-fuuck, yes, Law,” you cry out as you cum, your cunt throbbing around nothing as you get even wetter, leaving a slick shine on the tip of the wand.

As you come down, you hear Law shifting, “That’s it…good girl. Let me take care of you now,” he says darkly. You look up and see him standing next to you at the edge of the bed, he’s already stripped down to nothing. You quickly pull off your shirt and unclasp your bra. You yelp in surprise as he moves you on the bed so your legs are bent over the edge. He gets down on his knees as he presses your thighs up, exposing yourself completely to him, “I want to hear my name on your lips when I make you cum, got it?” he rumbles.

He immediately takes your clit into his mouth, cheeks hollowing as he sucks between harsh flicks of his tongue. “Fuck, oh my god- hng,” you shout as your hands find purchase in his dark locks. He moans at the feeling of you tugging his hair and continues eating you like a man starved. Between him fucking you with his tongue and going back to sucking your clit, you’re on the verge of another orgasm. “Oh god, don’t stop, right there” you cry out as he has you tumbling over the edge again. Your legs twitch and squeeze him. The sounds of his mouth lapping you up obscene and filling the room with your cries of bliss. As you come down, your legs tremble and he leans back, wiping you from his face, “That’s my girl.” He comes up and leans over you, kissing you deeply, forcing his tongue between your lips as you taste yourself. Your hands on each side of his face as he has you caged beneath him. His arm wraps underneath you and he pulls you up to his chest and moves you both further onto the bed.

“Tell me what you want, love,” he whispers into your mouth between kisses. “Hmm,” you moan, “I need you, p-please, fuck me,” you pant. He leans up, and presses your knees to your chest and fists his cock as he takes you in, fucked out and breathless. He lines himself up to your pussy and presses in slowly, as he leans forward over you. When he presses to the hilt, you’re both panting, foreheads pressed together as he pauses, trying not to cum immediately at the feeling of your warm, wet, walls clenching around him. He presses a kiss to your soft lips and leans up, moving his hands to grab your hips, pressing sharp indents into your flesh. He begins thrusting into you, enamored by how your cunt takes all of him and it awakens something possessive within him. “Fuck, look how well you take me. You’re mine, got it? Nothing and no one can make you feel this good.” You nod, unable to speak, as you’re lost in the pleasure of his cock stretching and filling you completely. Your moans grow louder as he picks up his pace, sweat glistening on his brow. “Hnng,” you cry out as he thrusts particularly harshly, slamming into your cervix. “Fuuuhck, I love the sounds you make. Just for me,” he pants as he loses himself in you.

He suddenly pulls out and you cry out in frustration at the empty feeling. You press up to your elbows, “W-why’d you stop, baby?” you pant. “C’mere,” he pulls you up as he sits down, pulling you onto his lap. He grabs your breasts as you push them into his face, rolling your nipples between his fingers as he takes one into his mouth, sucking and biting as if they’ll disappear if he doesn’t pay them attention. You throw your head back, eyes shut tight. Reaching down, you line himself up to your entrance and sit down on his throbbing cock, gasping when you’re fully seated on top of him. “Go on, fuck yourself on my cock,” Law rumbles, his voice deep and thick with lust.

He’s as drunk with you as you are with him as you begin riding him as his hands roughly pull across your body. You bounce up and down his length until your legs and hips burn. Pushing through the pain to chase your orgasm. “Shit, just like that baby- fuuuuhhhck,” he cries out as he wraps his arms under yours and pulls you down grabbing your shoulders. You feel him pulse as he cums, spilling thick ropes into you and you roll your hips, grinding your clit on his abdomen. “I know you have one more for me baby,” he whispers breathlessly into your mouth as he kisses you. As you're grinding, feeling him pulse within you, and feeling his release trickling out of you with your movements, you cum again. Pleasure wracking your body as Law leaves no space between you. You’re overwhelmed with pleasure. All you feel, smell, and think is him as you lose yourself and cry out his name over and over.

You still, sitting in his lap as you collapse forward, utterly spent. He wraps his arms around you and holds you tightly as you both come down from your highs. Trying to catch your breath in the crook of his neck, you feel him press kisses along your shoulder. “Hmmm,” he exhales, “So which one is better?” he asks, trying to stifle a laugh. You pull back to look at him, “Oh hush!” you laugh as you playfully push his shoulder, laughing together intimately.

Tags: @shy-writer-999 @dreamcastgirl99

Dividers by: @/cafekitsune

#one piece #one piece smut #trafalgar d law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law smut #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law x y/n #trafalgar law x you

119 notes · View notes

she-whatshername · 20 hours ago

Note

So, your Tyrrish men headcanons are life. I adore every last one of them even when they make my heart hurt.

Not that any of them have time now, but someday when the war has ended and they all obviously live HEA, what kind of hobbies would they be into?

Apologies if this has already been asked. If it has I missed it.

Oh, excellent ask. And love the emphasis on LIVE. Because yes they do, all of them, lolol

Bodhi:

I shared this in an earlier post somewhere but I am fully convinced Xaden commissioned Bodhi to make the saddle for Violet. So, being that I feel that he’d be doing some type of metal work when he gets around to it

But, because he’s such a people person and people leader, I think post the war he’s doing a lot of leadership and helping to rebuild Aretia and the building up the Tyrrish crown. He does it so much its now his hobby haha

Also, while not a hobby persay, this man is getting busy post the war

Settling down

Having all the kids

And still being the best at balancing Xaden on the throne, leadership duties, and his family

This man can truly do all things

Garrick:

Horses

Lolol

IDK why but he gives ‘horse girl’ vibes.

I think he’d take up horse riding again and it become a joke that his ‘mares’ in his stable are actual horses in his stable. He’s of course at Xaden’s side post the war but when he isn’t he’s with the horses. Raising them, teaching others to ride, caretaking, etc

Also, runes. I think he’s also doing rune work in his spare time and teaching others. He’s always just crafting up something unique with runes to help others

And, like Bodhi, he’s spending a lot of time taking of and supporting others

I adore Garrick

Xaden

Violet

Lolol

Is that a hobby? Because that’s all I see him doing pos the war

But, in all seriousness, I think he’d be into swimming

Okay hear me out. I have nothing to back up this headcanon but, If we take into account what happened to him at the end of IF, I could maybe see him becoming paranoid about being out in nature alone wandering around, fearful he could lose himself and be tempted again (because I thought he’d be into hiking, climbing at first)

I could see a cute moment where Violet lures him into a pool of water and has him just float for a bit, completely weightless and unable to touch the ground that he actually loves it?

So to clear his head or release stress he just goes and does some laps and floats about

Imogen

She is on a journey of herself

Self care is her hobby post the war

She’s finding peace outside hiking, journaling, maybe even knitting

I know, everyone would be like “Imogen, you’re knitting a scarf?! That’s so cute.” And then she’d just glare at them and tell them she could easily stab them with the needles

But honestly they’d be some of the warmest scarfs, hats, blankets, etc

Knitting reminds her of her life before the apostasy. Her mother and sister would knit and Imogen would hate the idea of just, sitting there for days, but now she sits on her bed, knitting quietly while putting together a beautiful quilt while putting herself back together in the process

#fourth wing #the empyrean #bodhi durran #garrick tavis #xaden riorson #imogen cardulo #tyrrish men headcanons you didn't ask for

32 notes · View notes

calsappstore · 2 days ago

Text

COLUMBINE ICEBERG (PT 3)

Third shooter: A theory that has been quite active for years is that Columbine High School Massacre was committed by three people. There are people who thought they saw more than just two shooters; I read somewhere that both Eric and Dylan had trench coats on in the beginning, but later on took them off, so maybe that is why they thought they saw more people. A man that is oftentimes mentioned, particularly by witnesses was Robert Perry (he was known to have terrible acne, crooked teeth and his behavior would lead people to describe him using negative terms). The hypothesis here would be that people mistook Perry for Klebob (both have similar height and long hair). Another person who was believed to be that third shooter is Chris Morris (leader of the trench coat mafia and someone who openly hated the school and the people in it), another man who was believed to the potential third shooter is Joseph Stair, he would partake in the trench coat mafia, but he had graduated a year prior. Stair was known to be a weirdo and also expressed hatred for the school. From my understanding, a few kids that belong to the TCM (Trench Coat Mafia) did talk to Eric and Dylan on AoL about guns, they would make pipe bombs for fun, but Eric and Dylan knew enough about guns and explosives to pull the attack alone. Eye Witnesses oftentimes make mistakes in identifying suspects, and that is okay, obviously everyone was in a stressful (to put it mildly) situation, it truly is no one’s fault; also, Mandela effect is a thing, a few people recalled Klebob, Perry or Stair being around 6,8 feet (none of them were that tall) or the shooters wearing balaclavas (there is no evidence that either Eric or Dylan wore that).

REBDOOMER and Harris' Wads: Eric Harris loved Doom, he wrote about the game, even in his school papers. He talks about how what he could not do in real life, he would do in Doom. Even in his AoL profile, Doom is written as being a major part of his life, describing himself as a “professional doomer”. His fascination with the game went so far, he wrote letters to ID Software (the developers of Doom) and even had copies of the Doom novels. REBDOOMER was one of Harris’ most infamous AoL profiles. Eric built a website to showcase his Doom wads (acronym for where’s all the data, it is a file format used by Doom, you start with an IWads and then graduate to a Pwad). This is relevant because Eric modded several wads for Doom 2 (Deathmatching in Bricks, Mortal Kombat Doom, Killer and Station) and at least one for the game Quake.

REB and VoDkA: These were the names that Eric and Dylan went by. Eric was Reb because he liked the idea of being a Rebel, also, the word Rebel was used in the school’s teams for basketball, baseball and football. Eric used to be a soccer player in his freshman and sophomore year of high school, where Dylan would eventually join him. Eric really liked soccer, he left the Columbine soccer team, but joined an extracurricular soccer team called “The Colorado Rush”. Harris went frequently by REB (spelled in all capitals) at work and online, a few people at work did not even know his real name, to them, that guy was just REB. Eric was rather attached to his nickname, contrary to Dylan, who did not care that much about being called VodKa. Quite a few people have noted that REB and VodKa were alter egos, so when they vandalised something or did any rebellious act, they were not Eric and Dylan, but REB and VodKa, which makes sense. Whatever the case, the names unquestionably played an important part in the event.

Austin Eubanks: Another highly recognisable survivor of the massacre, he happened to be in the library when the worst of the massacre took place, Austin was really good friends with Corey DePooter, who sadly lost his life. Austin was next to DePooter and had to witness his friend being tragically shot. Eubanks was also shot in the hand and knee, but he managed to survive the attack. Austin’s story is quite sad, he got addicted to prescription medicine, he attended treatment in 2006 and then later in 2011, in hopes of getting better. For a while, he got better and he worked at an addiction treatment center and was a voice for recovery. However, unfortunately, in 2019, Eubanks was found dead in his home due to an OD. I sincerely hope he was able to find the peace he deserved.

Survivor/ Witness Accounts: A lot of information that we know to this day is thanks to the witness and survivors’ accounts. Many of them have courageously told their stories to help shape the event. There is not a lot to say here because this is pretty self explanatory.

We are Columbine: On the topic of survivors, “we are columbine” is a documentary released in 2018, it featured survivors’ testimonies. They tell their stories and how the event affected their lives. Due to everything, classes were moved and suspended until the crime scene was cleaned up. When these students went back to their high school, they walked in chanting “We are Columbine” to restore the school pride. A couple of students made a flag with the Columbine flower and the slogans “we are columbine” and “we strive to survive” written on it. The flag was a symbol that although they were to move forward, they would never forget the lives that were tragically lost that day.

Klebob’s drinking: Dylan Klebob really lived up to his nickname of VoDKa, he liked to drink and was proud if it. On his diversion file, when asked if he’s ever drank or used drugs by himself, he responded yes “alcohol a couple times” but he says that he never experienced withdrawal and that he never used them with members of his family. He states that the first use of alcohol or marihuana was at age 15, but he did say it was with his brother (so did he or did he never use it with a member of his family?) at their house, and that Dylan was curious about what alcohol tasted like. Likewise, when asked about his relationship with alcohol, he states that he was “careful with it”. Dylan had to take random urine scans, during his whole diversion program, which lasted for about a year. All of them came back negative. In his first journal entry, he described being drunk with a screwdriver, he explains that alcohol is cleansing for him, in a moral sort of way. Klebob’s drunkness can be seen throughout his writings, as he would make spelling mistakes and say things that are absolutely unhinged. Dylan did not use alcohol as means to socialize, he drank as a remedy, which would make him more dependant on it later in life. Some signs of alcohol use disorder that he displayed were: problems at school (falling grades, complaints from staff, reports of cutting class and absences), mood changes (issues with depression, irritability and anger), uncharacteristic periods of lethargy and low energy; changes in weight and withdrawals from family (but some people act like this when they’re sober).

Rebel Missions: Eric, Dylan and Zack (REB, VoDKa and KIBBZ) would TP houses, set off small explosives and superglue door handles, in an attempt to get back to those who bothered them. Eric was defined as the instigator, as these typically happened around Eric’s neighbourhood and to people Eric seemed to have a vendetta against. However, in 1998, the Brown family made a report about a garage window that had been broken by a paintball gun, Eric was named as the prime suspect, but it is worth noting that there is no proof that this was done by him.

Rachel’s drawing: Rachel Scott, the first victim of the attack, was a 17 year old christian girl known for her kindness and compassion towards others. The day of the shooting, Scott drew a picture of some eyes with tears that end up becoming blood. This drawing is significant and many people interpret it as her having some form of premonition on what’s to come. Overall, it tends to be seen as a rather eerie coincidence.

There’s part 3, this is for educational purposes only.

#true crime research #true crime #columbine research #columbine 1999 #columbine database

26 notes · View notes

babejinxy · 19 hours ago

Text

Jinx x f!reader special new year 3

✨ Ok, first of all I wanted to apologize for the delay, but something unexpected happened and I've been really busy. I know I said this would be the last part, but I got a little carried away - a lot actually - and when I realized it, it was too long. So there will be one more chapter after this one and I swear it will be the end, sorry guys. Anyway, I hope you like it!

🌟 English is not my first language, so I apologize if there are any mistakes.

🥂 Part 1 🥂 Part 2

“Close your eyes, princess,” she whispered and you obeyed. Jinx led you out of Caitlyn’s house and took you somewhere high and far away from Piltover. “Careful, baby, go up slowly and don’t open your eyes until I tell you to,” she said, holding your hand tightly and helping you up a few steps. She walked with you and stopped, pinning you against a… railing? She pressed her body against your back and with her hands on your hips, she kissed your neck softly. “Eyes closed, ok?,” she whispered and you nodded.

You felt your girlfriend's hands leave you and you got goosebumps as the wind hit your skin. "Jinx?!", you called out to her. "I'm here, light of my life", she replied and you heard her unzipping her backpack. You smiled, you loved it when she called you that affectionately.

You heard the heavy footsteps of her boots walking towards you and her thin hands gripped your waist and she pressed her body against your back again. Jinx kissed your bare shoulders and moved up to your neck, planting open-mouthed kisses on your soft, warm skin, she purred behind you between the kisses that burned into your skin. “You can open your beautiful eyes now, my life,” she whispered in your ear, biting your lobe.

You opened your eyes and at the same moment the clocks in the city of progress began to chime midnight. You looked around and realized that you were outside a blimp. You heard Jinx pull a trigger behind you and at that moment, a fireworks display began in the sky. “Happy New Year my love,” she said behind you and before you turned to face her to kiss her, a bomb exploded in the sky that soon turned into colorful fireworks that said, “marry me, toots?”

Tears streamed down your face quickly and you felt her take her hands off of you and kneel in front of you. She was holding a blue velvet ring box in her hands, one she had made and painted for you. She opened the box and there was a silver engagement ring with a blue sparkle on the tip.

“I will never be lost in the darkness again with you by my side, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, y/n. You brought back everything I lost, I have everything just by having you, I love you. Please be my wife, baby?”, she said with her eyes shining and you could swear that for a second, they were blue again.

You smiled through your tears, “Jinx I love you, of course I want to marry you, I will always say yes to you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, my sunshine”. She stretched her lips into a smile and laughed a little, then she put the ring on your finger and you didn't have the chance to admire it, the next second she grabbed you and crashed her lips on yours, kissing you intensely and passionately.

She licked, kissed and sucked your lips on hers desperately, she pressed you against the railing of the airship and pressed her body against yours. You placed your right hand on the back of her neck while you brushed your nails on her left arm with your other hand. Jinx placed her hands on your waist and leaned over you a little. She lifted your left leg to her hips and held it tightly.

You were both breathless from the heated kiss and you were panting when Jinx - now your fiancée - left your lips and kissed your chin and down to your neck. You threw your head back and she took advantage of that, biting your skin and sucking hard. The sounds of her mouth on your skin, the noises she made and your soft moans and panting breaths were a true symphony.

She made a trail of kisses and bites up to the top of your breasts and stuck her tongue inside your cleavage licking between your breasts, “mhmm so hot, fuck”, she whispered and then went back to kissing and sucking the top of your tits leaving them marked and slightly sore. She kissed your lips again and let go of your leg. She placed her hands on your hips under your dress and pulled you tightly against her. You placed your hands one on each of her boobs and squeezed lightly, contrasting with her grip on your hips and ass, where she squeezed very hard, marking the skin with her fingers.

She squeezed your ass so hard that your lips faltered against hers making you gasp and your feet lift slightly off the ground. She captured your lips again and swirled her tongue with yours, biting your bottom lip and letting out a noise from her throat in the process. She was getting desperate and needed to fuck you and she needed to punish you for your behavior earlier, she hadn't forgotten that.

You didn't have the breath and stamina of your fiancée, you were in need of air, and tried to pull away from her for just a second, but she wasn't willing to let you. When you broke the kiss breathlessly, she captured your lips again and again. You tried to stop the kiss for the fourth time and this time she gave in and rested her forehead against yours. You both panted with your mouths half open on each other. “Just… just one more thing toots…”, Jinx said after placing a quick kiss on your half-open lips. “I want… to make a child in you,” she said, her voice hoarser than usual. You frowned, how was that possible? “After Isha…”, she said, her voice breaking, but before she could finish, you interrupted her, “Jinx, we swore to never speak about h…”, your eyes were filling with tears again.

“I know... I just want a kid, our kid, baby”, it was her turn to interrupt you and then she went back to planting kisses on your neck. “And how are we… a-ah… how are we going to… do this?… mhmm”, it was difficult to concentrate and form the right words with Jinx abusing the skin on your neck. “There are many ways,” she said, pulling the skin on your neck between her teeth, you rolled your eyes and gasped at the sensation.

She was spreading kisses and bites all over your neck, you were loving it, but she had gotten into a delicate subject and you had to focus on that. So you pushed her away, “Baby, calm down…”, she frowned and pulled you against her again, going back to abusing your skin. “You made me wait all day, toots, don’t ask me to calm down now.” She pushed you against the airship's railing again and placed a hand on each of the railings, holding you there, and then pulled the part of your dress that held your right breast down and it jumped out of the fabric, and she buried her lips in your bare chest, teasing your nipple with her tongue and teeth.

You closed your eyes and threw your head back, moaning softly at the feeling of her tongue. Jinx stuck her tongue out and licked your boob from bottom to top several times, then swirled her tongue around your nipple and sucked on it. You gasped and bit your lower lip, you put your right hand in her hair and pulled it gently, making her moan into your boob. You were already soaking wet down there, you pressed your legs together you needed her, but before that you both needed to finish the conversation that Jinx started in the first place.

Jinx was just kissing your breast softly when you lifted her face to look at you. “Baby…”, you said, still a little breathless. “Yes?!”, she asked and planted a peck on your lips. “How are we going to be able to have a child?”. She rolled her eyes, “Sugar, what do you mean ‘how’? We’re amazing, you’re going to be a wonderful mother”, she said, kissing your chin and going up to leave kisses on the corner of your lips and giving you another peck. “I don’t know… it’s not that… you know what life is like in Zaun”, you said, caressing her thin and defined abdomen.

“And who said we’re having a baby in Zaun? my silly girl,” she scoffed. You gave her a confused look. “Look around you toots, let’s get out of here, start over somewhere else, where no one knows us, where we can be a family.” So that was why she had taken you to an airship, she intended to run away with you. Jinx caressed your face with her hand, “we can rebuild the family we lost, baby… me and you and…”, she placed her hand on your womb and smiled, “…you know… we can do that… but we could never do it here… It’s a real new year, don’t you think?”. You smiled and hugged her, “I love you so much babe.” She squeezed your sides, “I love you too toots.”

“But now,” she said, picking you up suddenly, bridal style, “now I want to do adult things with you, toots.” She took you inside the airship and you laughed at the feeling of being carried like that, your fiancée was really crazy and you always loved that about her. She threw you on a sofa bed full of very soft and comfortable pillows and climbed on top of you. “Now I’m going to fuck my beautiful and hot fiancée, until she loses consciousness inside that beautiful head of hers,” she said with her voice getting hoarse and making your body shiver and your pussy ache for her.

She took off her top and threw it away, exposing her small breasts. You raised your hands to feel them, but Jinx held your wrists above your head with her hands. She lowered her head and stuck her tongue in your lips without warning. You kissed her back, your lips were already sore from the kisses from before and from how she was kissing you hard like a starving animal that hadn't eaten in days.

Jinx released one of your wrists and held it close to the other only to take a hot pink satin scarf from her pants pocket and tie it tightly around your wrists and it was then that you realized that you were fucked, very fucked and that only excited you even more. “Did you think I had forgotten about your previous behavior? Nah, nothing like that, princess,” she snapped and slapped your face, not hard enough to hurt you too much, but enough to make you close your eyes tightly from the burning sensation that remained there.

Your blue-haired bride held your face in her hands and came very close to look at you. She smiled wickedly and ran her eyes all over your beautiful face and turned it to the side leaving the skin of your neck - already with some marks - exposed to her. She began to gently kiss the skin alternating between kisses and bites. She ran her tongue over the pulse point on your neck and then trapped the skin between her lips and teeth, sucking your skin hard to leave a very obvious bruise there. “Oh god,” you moaned.

Jinx trailed kisses down to the top of your tits and then she sat on your pelvis and without warning she placed her hands on the top of your dress and ripped it completely, your bare breasts jumping out of the torn fabric. Jinx immediately grabbed your boobs with both hands, massaging them, squeezing them and pulling them. She sucked on your left breast while she continued to tease the other one with her hand. “Fuck they are such perfect toots… hmm”. You were just a mess of moans and whimpers. She moved to your other breast and caught your nipple between her teeth, pulling it hard, your eyes watered and you moaned in pain and pleasure at the same time. She released your injured nipple and drops of blood ran down your breast and Jinx licked them off, licking your nipple too and swirling her tongue around it and then she sucked it into her mouth. Her saliva on your cut nipple stung and you choked trying not to cry.

“Sorry baby, I can’t control myself,” she said, running her thumb over your nipple, you squirmed at the stinging sensation. “Stop, please,” you said, tears streaming down your eyes. Jinx crashed her lips onto yours and you tasted the iron of your blood on her lips. She broke the kiss only to lick your tears away and said, brushing her lips against your ear, “Oh my sweet girl, I warned you that you would be screwed when I got you, you will take what I give you until the time I decide to stop, understand?” You nodded, she grabbed your face tightly, “Use the words toots.” She ran her thumb over your lips, waiting. “I got it babe.” She smiled mischievously, “Fucking good girl.”

Jinx made a trail of hickeys from your neck to the top of your left breast - the one that wasn't bleeding - then she filled her mouth with the soft flesh of your breast and bit and sucked on it while her hands gripped your hips so tightly that there would be marks from her fingers for days. She sucked on the skin at the edge of your breast, leaving a bruise there.

Your fiancée moved her kisses and bites down from your breast to your abdomen and got rid of the rest of the dress that was still on your body, ripping it completely and throwing the rags somewhere, leaving you with only your ruined and soaked panties. Jinx ran her nose over the wet spot on your panties and bit her lips, getting hornier. “Hmm, that’s delicious, baby, fuck,” she mumbled, planting a kiss on your swollen clitoris through the thin fabric of your panties. You moaned and writhed beneath her and she smiled wickedly.

Jinx pulled your panties to the side just to show your crotch, where she licked you teasingly. Then she went down to the inside of your left thigh and sucked on your skin, marking you there too. She went down to your ankle and knelt on the floor at the edge of the sofa bed just to unbutton your sandals and take them off your feet. She grabbed your left foot and kissed it, but your body's reflexes pulled it out of her hand because of the sensitivity that made you feel ticklish. She got up from the floor, standing up and took off her boots, then got rid of her pants and boxers, throwing them on the floor with the rest of her clothes.

She climbed on top of you again and placed her hands on each of your arms - which were raised above your head, with your wrists tied together. Jinx captured your lips with hers again and took her time with you. She placed her right hand on your throat, but didn't squeeze, just held you firmly as her tongue danced with yours. You both let out soft moans between the kiss, Jinx pulled your lower lip so hard that it bled a little, you gasped and she moaned at the taste of your blood. She licked your chin and ran her tongue over your lips before capturing them with hers again. “Open your mouth, love”, she whispered with her lips brushing yours and you obeyed, she spat inside your mouth and you swallowed her saliva. “Oh fuck, like this you're going to kill me toots or I'm going to kill you, I don't know anymore”, she said whispering and kissed you again.

She swirled her tongue around yours and then sucked your tongue and you moaned into her mouth, she devoured your lips for a few more seconds while squeezing your tits in her hand. Jinx moved her kisses from your lips to your chin, passing through your neck, the top of your breasts, your nipples, all over your abdomen until she reached your clothed pussy. She took off your panties and kissed your pelvis, biting and sucking afterwards and you moaned at the sensation. She brought your panties to her nose and melted feeling the sweet smell of your arousal, "fuck", she whispered and then threw your panties with the rest of your clothes on the floor.

Jinx bit her lower lip hard as she stared at your bare, dripping pussy. Yes, she intended to tear you apart, but before that, she laid on top of you again and shoved her knee into your needy cunt and you moaned a little loudly. She stuck her index and middle finger inside your mouth and you understood what she wanted and started sucking on them. She bit her lower lip as she watched you suck on her slender fingers and she shoved them deeper into your throat making you gag. Your saliva started to run down the corner of your mouth and onto the knuckles of her fingers.

She got off of you and got on her knees on the bed, and then she stuck the fingers that were in your mouth inside herself and started masturbating herself while shamelessly staring at your pink, swollen pussy. You felt a little embarrassed by this, but then you enjoyed the sight and it was only making you hornier. “Fuck baby, fuck...,” she moaned as she touched herself, the rhythm of her fingers increasing more and more. You could do it for her, you wanted to be able to touch her, but you knew she wouldn't allow it, she rarely did.

You could go crazy at any minute, you needed her, you needed to be touched, you needed to be fucked. You squeezed your legs together to feel something and that irritated Jinx, she didn't say anything but with her free hand, she parted your legs opening them so hard that your groin burned and you let out a tearful moan.

“Look at this… a-ah hmm… fuck… look at this delicious pussy”, she said between moans, the wet sounds coming from her fingers in your pussy were getting straight to you and you could only feel the ache in your core and your pussy getting wetter and wetter. “You’re so hot baby, I’m going to fuck you like hell, you’ll see”, she said in a hoarse voice and moaned loudly, cumming all over your belly and pelvis.

Without wasting any more time, she stuck her fingers covered in her cum into your vagina and mixed her cum with the cream of your arousal, lubricating your pussy with her cum, making you moan as you felt her fingers in your needy pussy and arch your hips slightly. She ran her fingers up and down your slippery pussy and you bit your bottom lip.

Without warning, Jinx opened your lips with her fingers and stuck her tongue in your pussy, eating you with desire, like a hungry wild animal. She licked from your clitoris to your hole, teasing it. She was savoring your taste that she was crazy about and the sounds she made while eating you were infamous and made you moan like a bitch in heat. “Mhmm, that feels so fucking good,” she said, and then she finally swirled her tongue around your clit and sucked on it. You lifted your head and looked down, and when she began licking your clit in a fast, steady rhythm you slammed your head back into the pillows, “Ooh fuck,” you moaned.

You were a panting, whimpering mess, your wrists pinned numb above your head as your bride devoured your pussy. Jinx's tongue expertly explored every side of your poor cunt. She licked you with her mouth wide open, alternating between sucking and licking your swollen clit. She held your legs wide open for her by gripping your hips tightly. Jinx closed her lips around each of your fucked pussy lips in her mouth and sucked on them, making you gasp above her. Then she stuck her tongue in your hole and fucked you like that. Your walls swallowed her tongue inside you and you both moaned in unison.

Jinx fucked you with her tongue for a long time, alternating between pumping her tongue inside you frantically or thrusting your hips against her tongue and then you were close, very close to cumming in her mouth and she noticed it when your walls tightened around her tongue. Of course this only encouraged her to go even deeper and she brought her fingers up to brush against your clit alternating between giving light flicks that made your eyes roll back in your head. Just a few more strokes of her tongue into your hole and the rhythm of her fingers on your clitoris made you come hard into her mouth and she drank your cum as if she had been dying of thirst for days.

“Atta girl,” she said breathlessly, her jaw was sore after her intense work on you and she was proud of it, but not satisfied. She wanted more, she needed more, she simply couldn’t contain herself when she had her bride tied up, naked and cumming in front of her. So she went back to eat you, licking and sucking your pussy without mercy. “Jinx I… I… aaah-ah… I can’t anymore baby… oh my god,” you said shaking frantically.

“Shut up and take it,” she said, slapping your pussy and then going back to sucking it. She didn’t stop, she just wouldn’t stop, you moaned frantically and your body began to twitch involuntarily. Your hips were moving away from her in a reflex of your body, but she pulled you back close to her, continuing to eat your pussy. “Oh…oh Jinx,” you moaned her name and that only made her even wilder. She sucked your clit and licked it frantically without stopping and fuck you were going to cum again.

You needed to grab something, anything, but your wrists were tied tightly by the tight knot she had made in the scarf and all you could do was moan, moan, moan and you practically screamed as you came for the second time in her mouth. After she cleaned up all your juices with her tongue, she slowed down and was giving kitten licks and leaving kisses on your aching pussy. You were crying from the overstimulation and your legs were shaking with each contact of her tongue on your pussy.

Jinx bit and sucked on the inner skin of your thigh, leaving red marks that would soon turn purple, and finally lifted her head from between your legs and massaged your sore jaw and neck. She was drunk on your cum and she loved it. She planted a kiss on your pelvis and made her way up to your lips and kissed you, pushing her tongue into yours and making you taste yourself in her mouth. She squeezed your right breast - the one with the bruised nipple - and you whimpered into her mouth. She released your lips and buried her head in your neck, sucking and marking the skin over the marks she had left earlier. Jinx thrust her right hand into your pussy while the other held your bound wrists. “Spread those legs for me now, toots,” she ordered in a dangerous voice and you obeyed.

Once she had easy access to your already abused pussy, she wasn't gentle and slipped her middle and ring fingers into your slippery hole with ease, finger fucking you. She had a relentless rhythm, using the shimmer in her veins to thrust hard and impossibly - for people who didn't have shimmer running through their veins - fast. She let go of your neck and knelt beside you on the bed, speeding up her slender fingers inside you more and more. The wet sounds coming from your pussy, your pornographic moans, the fucked-up sight of you and your tits bouncing with each deep thrust of her fingers into your pussy made her cum on her own and she threw her head back, "ounch that's so fucking good, fuck... shit", she moaned.

It didn't take long for you to come on her fingers, but she didn't stop fucking you. She continued fingering you through your orgasm, the rhythm never faltering, she lowered her head to bite and suck on your left breast. You let out tearful moans from your throat, your juices running from your hole onto her fingers and wrist and dripping onto the sheets. She pulled her fingers out of you and started rubbing your clit, and you rolled your eyes. “Hmmm baby, oh my god I can’t… aah… I can’t take it anymore baby,” you cried. She laughed and bit your earlobe, “pay the price for being a fucking hottie who likes to tease me.” Then, as she said that, Jinx sped up her fingers on your clit and then stuck them back in your hole, curving them and hitting that spongy spot inside you. She alternated several times between rubbing your clit and burying her fingers inside you, making you see stars and moan her name nonstop.

You were squirming and shaking as your fiancée lowered her head between your legs and began teasing your clit with her tongue while she fucked her fingers frantically into you. Jinx released your clit and licked it every now and then teasing you. “So beautiful baby, my fingers feel so good inside you, just like you… fuck, your pussy is the tastiest thing I’ve ever eaten in my life.” Her words reached straight to your fucked pussy and you got closer and closer to your limit.

Jinx curled her fingers inside you and hit that spongy spot several times and as if that wasn't enough, she pressed your belly a little with her hand while still pounding her fingers into you. Your hips lifted off the bed, your legs trembled and you rolled your eyes back in your head. Your blue-haired bride pulled your hips back and continued pumping her fingers into your hole, curling them inside you while putting just the right amount of pressure on your belly. She licked and sucked your clit a few more times and then you closed your eyes tightly, moaning loudly and uncontrollably. With your wrists tied, you couldn't hold on to anything, so you dug your nails into your palm hard and squeezed, leaving moon marks on it.

It was too much, her tongue on your clit, her fingers fucking you wildly and the pressure of her hand on your belly was too much and you screamed her name as you finally squirted, soaking her fingers and the sheet. “Fuck baby!” Jinx said satisfied and laughed a little. “Fuck toots, I knew you were capable of this, but this time… wow I’m so fucking good”, she said bragging. “You’re so fucking good my baby girl, fuck I want more of this”. She said lightly caressing your red pussy and you whimpered.

She looked at you and you were panting, your boobs rising and falling with your errant breath. You were out of your mind and Jinx smiled wickedly when she noticed it. She went straight up to your face and kissed your cheek, the tip of your nose, your chin and finally planted a peck on your lips. She kissed the entire length of your neck as you recovered from the intense orgasm and came to your senses.

“You were so good to me Toots,” she said when you calmed down, kissing your jaw and finally untying the knot of the pink scarf that kept your wrists tied together. You lowered your arms in relief, they were numb and sore, there were purple marks from her fingers and the tight knot of the scarf that had previously been tied tightly around them.

Jinx didn't wait long and crashed her lips against yours again, she had an unusual resistance and still wanted to fuck you. You were finally able to touch her and brought your right hand to the back of her neck, pulling the strands of her short blue hair while you rested the other on her face, your soft touches didn't even compare to her aggressive ones squeezing your sides during the kiss. But for her, any slightest touch of yours on her skin was enough to make her catch fire and lose control.

She moved her kisses to your neck and went back to sucking on your skin, now sensitive from the bruises. You tried to reverse positions and stay on top of her, but when you dared to move, she held you tightly in place while still devouring your neck. “Babe, please, let me touch you now,” you said between sighs. Jinx lifted your torso and put her right hand on the back of your neck, pulling your hair, making your head go back and then she deepened the hickeys on your skin, increasing the marks, at this point your neck had no single side that was not covered in bruises.

She pulled your hair a little harder and you gasped, then she held your face tight and said in a stern voice, “Haven’t you learned yet? You’re the one receiving here bunny, and I’m far from done with you,” her dominating words, the grip on your face and the wild look she had on you went past your ears making you shiver and reached your poor pussy already wet for her again. “Now turn around,” she said, letting go of your face and your hair, pushing your head hard. You flinched at your fiancée’s brutality and fell onto the bed, hitting the side of your face on the pillows. You were used to it, Jinx was never very soft, but today she was much wilder and you immediately obeyed her, laying down on your stomach…

#arcane #jinx arcane #jinx league of legends #jinx x reader #jinx x y/n #powder arcane #powder x reader #lesbian #jinx #jinx x you #powder x jinx #jinx x fem!reader #jinx smut #jinx lol

40 notes · View notes

nameuserlee · 3 days ago

Text

Sylus — Night of Secrecy 💋❤️

❤️- Screenshots -❤️

❤️ - Kindled scene below the cut + my thoughts/rambling -❤️

Uhm. Wow. Just, wow. My sincere congratulations to Sylus and MC, the kiss card finally came and so did they, hallelujah.

I still can't believe this card is real, though. I'm genuinely dizzy, and I mean that in the best possible way. Because it’s sooo perfect. 10/10. No notes. Would swipe for again in a heartbeat.

I didn’t really know what I wanted their first kiss to look like. But I know that whatever I could’ve imagined wouldn’t have been nearly as good as this was. Now let me yap about this!

MC finally gets to bring Onychinus' leader to her place! After learning he needs a place to crash for 3 days before leaving for “business”, MC very generously offers her apartment as a safe house, both to keep him close and to figure out where he’ll be going since he won’t tell her (for her safety, of course).

And my god, these 3 days of them living together are the cutest, most domestic thing I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.

Shopping for groceries together, getting him his own pair of house slippers, him using (all of) her body wash. Sylus being in her space feels right, despite the smaller doorframes and treacherous bathroom cabinets.

(Grown ass man needs us to blow on his boo-boo. ADORABLE.)

But nevermind how cute this is, the situation is still unusual. Sylus and MC’s worlds kinda clash, despite how well they now get along and how much they care for each other. They are both aware of this, and no matter how fun this little play-pretend is, it’s going to have to end soon.

On their drive to the supermarket, Sylus prompts MC with a question: “When you’re in danger during a mission, do you think of anyone?” And the exchange that follows means a lot to me.

“But after my dirty work is done, I’ll wash my hands before going home.” I need this line tattooed across my forehead.

Sylus can’t leave his life back in the N109 zone, but he also doesn’t want to give up MC. And above all else, he wants to keep her safe. He tries to keep her away from his actual “business” as much as he can (which explains why he refuses to tell her where he’s going after their 3 days together).

If it weren’t for the N109 zone being risky for him to stay in right now and MC very conveniently proposing her place, he definitely would’ve found somewhere else to crash.

And so his best way to protect her while indulging their desire to see each other is to promise to “wash his hands before going home.” Whenever he gets to come back to her, he is not bringing his work to her. He will not allow himself to carelessly “taint” her life with his lifestyle. Very sweet, very thoughtful, very mindful (are we still saying mindful in 2025?) .

I’m gonna fast forward to their last night together/the kindled scene because I fear I could talk about every single line in this card.

Where to even begin.

BEST PROMPT IVE EVER SEEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

MC initating the kiss means everything to me. Thinking back to their first meeting, it’s him forcing her to resonate with her. Now, she’s pretty much the one who sets the pace in their relationship, which leads to this beautiful first kiss. It’s just too good.

“You really don’t want me to leave?” NO SIR SHE WANTS TO CLIMB YOU LIKE A TREE SHE WANTS YOU BAD and there’s no more denying it. She’s been worried sick throughout the whole card about him, trying to make the most out of their time together, and now that it’s down to the last hours, she wants it all.

And when things start to get heated, our consent king doesn’t only ask her once, but TWICE if she wants to do it.

And it’s soooo HOT!

In the kindled, he hopes MC hasn’t changed her mind, since she kinda nudges him away right after saying yes. He wants this to happen just as badly, but no matter what he’s always, always going to put her first, and so he checks in again with her.

Is this the bare minimum? Well yes! But I still think it’s worth noting. Especially if, again, we compare to how cold he was with her at the beginning of the relationship and how he was forcing her to go along with what he wanted.

Consent is sexy, asking for confirmation is hot as hell. 12/10 would smash again.

#i kinda need him #like terribly so #love and deepspace #lads #lnds #sylus #love and deepspace sylus #lads sylus #lnds sylus #sylus love and deepspace #sylus the man that you are #sylus x mc #nameuserlee #l&ds sylus

37 notes · View notes

kiyomitakada · 2 hours ago

Text

FUCK i mixed up the order i thought misa’s parents’ killer was killed after the stalking but it’s the other way around. god damn it. okay just pretend it happened like this for my sake alright.

[last time on soulmate AU so you don’t have to reread: light met L at the student representative speech and Pointedly Did Not shake his hand, and also misa told her manager she was going to move to tokyo]

Light manages to avoid touching L for an impressive two days.

Even after tennis — when L extends his hand to him, in the traditional good-game handshake, Light pretends he doesn’t see it as he wipes his palms on his shorts and puts his racket back into the bag. L cocks his head for a second, then lowers his arm back to his side.

Will he think I’m Kira based on my standoffish behavior? No, Kira is dedicated to justice and cares about the people, there’s no way he’d be standoffish… But would Light Yagami be…? I’ll just act friendly to make up for it.

“I think we’re both thirsty, and there’s something I want to ask you, so — do you want to get a drink somewhere?” he asks, straightening and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Well, you beat me, so you can ask me anything you want,” L says. “But I ought to tell you something first.”

“What’s that?”

“I suspect you may in fact be Kira,” L says, as easy as anything. “If you still want to ask me questions after that, go ahead.”

Light swallows. Damn it. He can’t reasonably ask for proof that L is who he says he is, then, not until his suspicion is cleared. He got him again. How does L always keep one step in front of him?

“Haha,” he says, “me, Kira?”

“Well, when I say ‘suspect,’ I only mean by a factor of one percent,” L says. “Is your wrist alright, Yagami-kun?”

Light glances down. Oh. He lets go.

“Yeah, of course,” he says. “Just strained it a little.”

“Misa!” Akako’s tinny voice blares from the speakers. “Good news!”

“Huh?” Misa sits up, still holding her phone to her ear. “Akako-chan, it’s six in the morning…”

“I know! I’ll go to bed soon, just, listen, Misa! Remember the hexing circle I set up for you, for, uh, you-know-who?”

“The one with the voodoo doll I stabbed in the heart?”

“Yeah, that one! Check the detention center website, Misa! Do it right now!”

“Okay, okay,” Misa says, fumbling for her laptop. She has the website bookmarked by now. It loads slowly. There’s the usual banner of Kira victims running slowly on the top of the page—

Oh.

“Oh my god,” Misa whispers.

“He’s dead, Misa! He’s dead! You don’t have to go anymore!”

Kira… avenged her parents. Kira saved her.

A strangled sob escapes her throat.

“Misa? Are you okay?”

“This is the best day of my life,” Misa says.

“I know! Now you don’t even need to move to Tokyo—”

Misa hangs up. She wraps her hand around her neck and squeezes, just once.

She has to meet him. She has to say thank-you. Her life’s purpose has narrowed now; she’s one step closer to being free of it all.

There’s an odd thump.

Misa jolts, dropping the phone. She looks around. Everything’s in place, even the skull decoration that keeps falling off its hook. Huh. Wait, it sounded more like it came from the balcony…

She peers through the window, then frowns.

A notebook?

“Here, Ryuzaki, I got your t—”

“…”

“…Yagami-kun?”

“Oh, sorry. It’s nothing. My bad for bumping into you.”

“You did? I didn’t feel anything.”

“………Right. I didn’t feel anything, either.”

“So, what was it you wanted to ask me?”

“That can wait until you’re positive I’m not Kira. You go ahead and start, Ryuga.”

“Do Shinigamis have soulmates?”

“Is that what you humans call the ones who share the marks on your skin?”

“What else would you call it?”

“Scars. And no, we don’t.”

“Oh. …That’s a romantic way to think about it. But it must be lonely for you.”

“I’ve never wanted one before.”

“I could draw one on you! I’m pretty good at drawing, you know.”

“Would that not be even lonelier? To have a mark without anyone to share it with?”

“Ahahaha! You’re smart, Rem.”

It is a good thing that Ryuga isn’t his soulmate. It would have been dangerous, not to mention societally inappropriate. Light is happy about this.

He wishes he could talk to Ryuk in public, if only to yell at him to stop laughing.

“If I got the Shinigami Eyes, could I tell who my soulmate was?”

“No. It wouldn’t be helpful for us Shinigami, so we never evolved the function.”

“Darn,” Misa pouts. “Oh well. I want them anyway.”

“…Are you sure?”

“Yeah? Duh?”

Later in the afternoon, she’s very careful with her gloves as she slides the tapes into Akako’s envelopes. She can’t think of anything worse than someone who isn’t Kira getting their hands over her fingerprints.

L/Ryuga/Ryuzaki/whoever keeps brushing past him whenever Light goes to headquarters. Physically, that is. Leaving little sparks of contact in his wake.

It’s on purpose. It has to be, at this point.

What is his game? Does he think he can — seduce Kira, or something? Even if Kira was gay, surely L wouldn’t expect him to be attracted to the man hunting him down. Besides, physical proximity doesn’t fluster Light. He’s very used to it. His friends from high school slung their arms over his shoulders, elbowed him, high-fived him all the time.

“Here,” L says, dangling a piece of paper in front of him. “For you to compose your message to the fake Kira.”

He says fake with such conviction. “Thanks,” Light says. He doesn’t snatch it fast enough to stop L’s thumb from grazing his wrist.

Nothing happens. Nothing happened the past few hundred times, either.

“Did you need something else?” Light asks, when L doesn’t move.

“No,” L says. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Rem is very careful to never touch Misa. It’s honestly a little cute. She hovers over Misa like a shield as they walk down the streets of Aoyama, sharp-sharp-sharp claws turned away from Misa’s skin.

Misa has a phone wedged between her wig and her shoulder so it doesn’t look like she’s talking to air, but she still turns her face upward to grin at Rem when she says, “Are you excited for the show?”

“Not really,” Rem says. “Trying to find the other Kira is risky, Misa.”

“I know, you’ve only told me a thousand times!”

“I suppose I still don’t understand,” Rem sighs. “I gave you the notebook so you could protect yourself. I didn’t want Gelus’s sacrifice to be in vain.”

“I am protecting myself,” Misa says, tapping the wig. “Haven’t I been careful?”

“You’re putting your life in danger for someone you don’t even know.”

“Are you going to stop me, then?” Misa challenges. “Gonna kill me?”

“No!” Rem sounds legitimately horrified. Misa feels a little guilty for that, though she brightens when they walk past the Note Blue — the cafe should be close now. “I would never hurt you. But… if you hadn’t moved here, you could still be working—”

“I got a new manager, it’s fine—”

“—and you could fend yourself off from any more stalkers with the notebook. You could lead a happy life… away from all of this.”

“Oh, Rem,” Misa says, reaching up to boop the Shinigami’s nose. “You just don’t get it.”

“You’re so selfless,” Rem murmurs, drawing slowly, languidly away from Misa’s touch.

“I’m really not.” But she’s never gotten this point across to Rem no matter how she explains it. For one thing, if she had done what Rem suggests, she would probably have jumped out a window three months in. “Oh look, there’s the cafe!”

“Liiiiight!”

Light isn’t usually jumpy, but he flinches when Sayu shouts his name up the stairs. The TV broadcast is still going just as L had written: We can offer you clemency and police protection if you work with us to capture the First Kira…

He’s fucked. He’s so, so fucked. How did the fake Kira find him? Nothing happened in Aoyama! Nothing even happened in the Note Blue — Light just stood around with Matsuda for thirty painfully awkward minutes! He wasn’t old enough to get the margaritas!

I need a plan, he thinks, while he automatically rises to follow his sister’s voice. She’s probably doing her math homework again. He’s going to sell me out, he’s going to kill me, I need a plan—

“Your friend brought over your notebook!”

Light freezes in the doorway.

Notebook?

“Coming,” he says a second too late, hurrying down the stairs.

“I can’t believe you of all people forgot your notebook at school, onii-chan,” Sayu says, elbowing him a little as he goes by. “You’re losing your touch!”

Light manages to smile at her before he rounds the corner, too distracted to notice the way Sayu’s face slides into a frown. He yanks the door open.

………………

The fake Kira is a girl.

The fake Kira is… very blonde.

“N-nice to meet you,” says the only human alive who knows Light’s worst-best secret. “I’m Misa Amane.”

( @kiyomitakada )

proof of concept for the yagamane soulmate au (doesn't actually contain any yagamane yet) dont mind me

The only reason Sachiko isn’t running is because there are children swarming around her, laughing and giggling while she shoves her way through the hall. Where had the nurse’s office been on the map — she rounds a corner, tries to catch her bearings, then notices it: the sounds of someone crying.

Light.

Sachiko yanks the door open, heart pounding in her ribs. Light never cries — he used to as a toddler, of course, but after Sayu was born Sachiko can count on one hand the number of times he’s had a tantrum. Her baby is so mature. When the school had called and told her Light was having some sort of nervous breakdown, I think? she’d dropped everything without a second thought and taken a taxi here.

“There, there,” the nurse is saying, rubbing her son’s back. “It’s okay.”

“Don’t touch me,” Light hiccups, broken and high-pitched, and Sachiko would shout at the nurse to get away from him if not for the fact that Light’s little fingers have the nurse’s wrist in a vice grip as though afraid she'll go.

“Light,” Sachiko says, “I’m here, Light.” She drops her bag on the floor and drops to the floor, cradling his face in her hands; Light doesn’t resist. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“It doesn’t work,” Light sobs. His eyes are puffy with tears. From the nurse’s expression Sachiko surmises this has been going on for a while. “Mama — Mama, where’s Dad?”

Sachiko’s heart twists. “Your dad’s at work,” she says, brushing a soaked strand of hair out of Light’s face. The nurse, free of Light’s grasp, has moved a few paces away to give them space. Light collapses. His head flops on Sachiko’s shoulder; she has to shift her weight to hold him. “Honey, talk to me. What happened?”

“I t-tried everyone,” Light says, voice a little muffled in Sachiko’s sweater. “Even the o-older girls, and the boys, and — nothing happened.”

Well, that’s probably good, Sachiko manages to not say aloud. What business does Light have with the upper-grade kids? “Did you want something to happen?” she asks instead.

Light nods miserably. “Noriko-sensei s-says you’ll know when it does. You’ll see it.”

“When wh—?”

Sachiko stops. She thinks. Light’s hand has clamped around her wrist, like he did with the nurse’s, and for the first time she realizes. He’s covering her soulmate tattoo.

“Light,” she says slowly, “what did you do?”

She doesn’t mean for it to sound accusatory, but Light bursts into a new round of tears against her shoulder. Sachiko, shocked, wraps her arms around him, runs a hand through his hair. “It’s okay, Light,” she tries. “It’s okay!”

Light keeps sobbing.

Sachiko looks up at the nurse. “What class was he in just now?”

“Arts and crafts,” the nurse says. “They were making bracelets.”

The red camellias are printed in a woven pattern encircling Sachiko’s wrist. They are silent.

“It was my idea!” Light gasps out between hiccups.

Sachiko takes a moment before she speaks.

“Light, were you trying to find your soulmate?”

“I-it doesn’t make any sense,” Light says. His free hand is clenched in a fist. “You — you and Dad said — you’ll always meet —”

Sachiko swallows her horror. This is her fault. This is all her fault.

“Nurse,” she says, “could you please leave us alone?”

The nurse nods and withdraws through the door.

Sachiko sighs. She knew she’d have to give her kids the talk one day, but Light is only six, and she’d thought she had more time…

“Light,” she says, “soulmates aren’t real.”

The soulmate phenomenon is one of the greatest medical mysteries of all time. Not for a lack of literature: the abundance of evidence regarding soulmatehood stretches into Mesopotamian records. But it makes no sense. There are seven billion people alive. The chance of finding your soulmate, even without considering age and gender and all that, is almost nothing.

But it does happen. Misa knows, because her parents are soulmates.

To be honest, she’d had her doubts before. They screamed at each other, sometimes threw things, kept alternating being kicked out to cheap motels. But they always made up, in the end. Made up… passionately. Misa learned to put on music to drown it out.

“What does it mean?” she asked curiously one day, pointing at the bloodred ruby embedded in the hollow of her mom’s throat.

“It means he’s strangling me,” her mom said. “What do you want for breakfast?”

After her dad had gotten back from the motel she’d asked him instead.

“Well, Misa,” he said. “Your mother’s the worst bitch alive, and I’m the only one who can handle her right.” He touched his thumb to the ruby printed on his throat, fondness tugging at his smile. “We’re the same person. That’s what it means.”

Misa hadn’t really gotten it, back then. Why would two of the same people fight? If she could make another Misa she’d do it in a heartbeat. That way Other-Misa could do the chores for her.

…On second thought, maybe she did get it.

But anyway. Somewhere, subconsciously, she’d always doubted. Misa was very up-to-date on the latest celebrity scandals, and she knew how easy matching tattoos were to fake.

But now she is staring through the crack in the closet. There is blood pooling on the floor, a dull red compared to the bright, shining light glowing from her dad’s throat. She stares and stares and stares until it fades to the white color of a scar.

“Miss,” says the officer on the phone, “Miss! Stay calm, we’re almost there—”

“Don’t fucking bother,” Misa says, and hangs up.

Her mom had stumbled like she’d been stabbed when her ruby went white. Snapped at Misa to hide and call the police, then picked up a kitchen knife. Misa isn’t sure when the burglar whoever-it-was dragged her dad’s dead body to rest in her line of view, but she knows his throat had still been glowing until it wasn’t.

She’ll never doubt soulmates are real again.

Light is seventeen years old and the world is falling apart.

Soulmates, he scoffs to himself, whenever the topic comes up in discussion. Akasato is rambling about his girlfriend again and how they’re fated to be. Light isn’t jealous. Getting attached is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone.

“I swear, man, the way you talk about her I think your tattoo should’ve been a ball and chain,” Yamamoto says.

Akasato groans. “She’s not that bad! She sent me chocolates!”

“The same ones she gave that basketball guy?” Light laughs.

“Don’t remind me, I’ll kill him, I swear,” Akasato says. Grinning. Murder is so out of the realm of possibility it’s funny. “And anyway, she’s coming over for Christmas.”

“Oh, whoa,” Yamamoto says. “Happy for you.”

“Yeah, congrats,” Light adds.

His mom wasn’t lying, exactly. The chances of stumbling across your soulmate are effectively zero. There’s studies suggesting that it’s higher than random chance, that most found soulmates live in or around the same timezone as you, but he’s pretty sure they’re cherry-picking.

It’s much easier to fall in love with someone and make them your soulmate instead, his mom had explained to him softly, rubbing her wrist. Much easier to get a tattoo with them, rather than hoping it’ll show up on your skin at first touch. Maybe even more romantic. Your dad and I love each other, Light. Who cares if he’s not perfect? He’s good enough for me.

The last time a teacher called Light’s work good enough was in fifth grade. Light had sabotaged his swivel chair afterwards and he’d had to take a week off.

“Thanks, guys,” Akasato says. “Hey, Yamamoto, who’re you having over for Christmas?”

“Oh, you know, the usual.”

“Sending cards to girls again?” Light puts in.

Yamamoto snorts. “Not all of us are lucky enough to be like Aka-chan here—”

“You take that back—”

“—and find their soulmate in middle school,” Yamamoto finishes. “I’m going to keep trying.”

“You know you actually have to make contact with them for it to happen, right?” Light asks.

“Obviously!”

“Yagami’s right,” Akasato says, pleased he’s not the topic of conversation anymore. “Are you sure you’ve got enough game for that, Yamamoto? I think you’d faint if a girl held your hand.”

“I’ve had girlfriends!”

“Sure, sure,” Light says. They all laugh. It’s nice having friends. “Oh, here’s my stop.”

“See ya!”

Light enters the house. Gives his mother his test grades, lets her coo, then slips into his room and heads for the drawer.

There it is. Untouched.

Who needs soulmates, he thinks, when you can be the god of the new world?

Misa sits cross-legged on a repurposed picnic blanket spread awkwardly over the wet dirt. She sticks one rose each into the soil in front of her parents’ graves.

“Hey, mom, dad,” she starts. “I’m not gonna come back for a while.”

The graves are silent. They have been for almost a year now. One rose almost falls over; Misa hurriedly reaches to fix it.

“I’m going to move to Kanto,” she declares. “I’ll catch him no matter what I do. I know which jail he’s in already. The prosecutor told me.”

She sticks the rose back in with some violence. It droops. All the other ones she’s brought have wilted — obviously, because their stems were cut ages ago. She can’t plant seeds, though. That would require someone watering them.

“I’ll ask for a visit and get him to attack me,” she continues. “And then I’ll stab him, and I’ll scream, and I’ll tell everyone it was self-defense. What do you think, Mom?” She’d always been better at lying than Dad.

“Good idea? I knew it.” Misa hops up, brushing the dirt off the picnic blanket. “I’ll start getting ready soon. Next month, I think. Definitely.”

“Ah,” says the voice from the television screen. “I had to test this, just in case, but I-I never thought it would actually happen… Kira. It seems you can kill people without having to be there in person.”

Light freezes.

He was wrong, he realizes, for possibly the first time in his life. He was wrong. Someone’s out there.

“Try to kill me,” L’s saying, and Light can hear the smirk even through unknowable kilometers of distance. “What’s wrong? Go ahead! Can’t you do it?”

“You bastard,” Light hisses through his teeth, feeling so alive he could cry.

He shouts I am justice at the same time L does, grinning, half-manic, and doesn’t even realize he’s clutching his wrist.

“Please,” says the stalker in the shadows, “please, Misa-Misa, I just need to — I just need to touch —”

Misa backs away. This is a dead end alleyway. She should never have gone to the convenience store at night. Her and her empty refrigerator and her stupid hungry stomach. There’s a fire escape, maybe if she jumps—

“Can you even fucking hear me?” The stalker shouts.

Misa nods, automatic, and wonders if she should scream. No one’s around at this time of day. Who would even miss her?

“Just one touch,” the stalker says. “Come on!”

And then in a flash he’s running for her. Misa turns and sprints and leaps for the fire escape — and misses it. She collapses in a heap.

Her stalker has his hand on her cheek. She jerks away. Of all the fucking days she could have forgotten her pepper spray.

“It’s not you,” the stalker says, abruptly sounding like he’s about to cry. “How could it not be you?”

“Get away from me,” Misa says, stumbling to her feet.

“All the interviews I watched,” the stalker says. “I have all your magazines, Misa-Misa!”

“I haven’t been in that many issues,” says whoever is operating Misa’s vocal cords as she calculates her chances. She has to catch him by surprise, it’s the only opportunity she’s got, shove him and run—

Oh. He has a knife. Never mind that, then.

“At least we can die together,” the stalker says — or — tries to say. Misa watches in shock as his mouth clicks shut and he… turns away?

And then he clutches his chest, and he falls.

Misa stays there, sucks in a few more breaths of cold air, then runs.

@kiyomitakada (so i can reblog)

#light being desperately lonely is like the funniest thing in the world to me im SORRY. IM SORRY #i have to scroll down 5 km whenever i try to find this so ive decided im posting it. why not.#yagamane

19 notes · View notes

thenerdofthegroup · 2 months ago

Text

See, after many rewatches here’s the thing:

To me this show is perfect. And honestly I love 90% of the final two. But I love genuinely everything… UNTIL the last 10 minutes and your hit with

“Fuck. This is all we are getting”

We aren’t getting Agatha’s story, the darkhold, anything that was basically promised. And then we have Billy being… I won’t swear because I’m already treading the line, but he’s being Billy and Agatha just goes ‘yeah I’ll help you’ without knowing anything. I fully believe she’s doing it either to get back to life or/and to find Wanda. But it doesn’t tell us that. So we don’t know. We are told almost nothing about Agatha… in Agatha’s show.

That’s my problem. The rest of it is fucking perfect. Honestly. I loved the Billy reveal SOLELY because we see Agatha being fucking incredible. She is above everyone. Yes there are people more powerful than her but she is above everyone in the game of life. She is perfect. Her kissing Rio was just pure love and forgiveness for her love. Beautiful. But I’ve described before there should have been an Agatha conversation maybe in the afterlife or on her own or with Rio to explain her emotions at the end. Because it feels like her death isn’t really the end.

But

We get to the last 10 minutes and you are really hot with ‘this is it. We aren’t… fuck’

That’s my personal problem. Geneuinly everything is pretty much perfect until you hit the last 10 minutes of content (aka when Billy goes to her house) and then it hits you… there isn’t a secret episode after explaining her, there isn’t a post credit scene. Nothing. We leave in Billy being a twat (I’m sorry but he was) and not knowing what Agatha’s feeling or almost any of her history or lore.

Yay

This show is so perfect… until then. And I hate that it ends with me so viscerally angry and upset that there is no follow up about Agatha and her history or her emotions. That it’s just about Billy and she’s going to become a side character without us ever finding out about her history the way we should have, that they were telling us we were getting throughout the show. We got more Billy backstory in those 3 years than we got of Agatha in her 100’s of years. She is so complex and… we got so little. The nick stuff and ballad twist is my favourite scenes of… well ever. I’ve cried every single time.

But there is so much more to Agatha. And we got none of it. So when I watch it back I get the duality of:

“OMG!! That makes so much sense!! Agatha’s so clever”

(Them saying something with Agatha’s backstory) “WELL WE ARE NEVER GOING TO SEE THAT ARE WE!!!! YOU FUC-“

Do yeah. Agatha all along. Perfect. Genuinely perfect, until the last 10 minutes and it hits you, that’s it.

My love for this show and Agatha goes beyond bounds. Agatha is my special interest. And I cannot bind my anger that erupts every time I finish it.

And reading everything from Jac, it’s fucking marvel. So fuck you marvel for not allowing them to show Agatha’s backstory fully because apparently it wasn’t ’important enough’ but Billy’s kissing his boyfriend in the car for 4 minutes or whatever else about him we didn’t need.

Uh I’m a bitter autistic lesbian. This is not a good combo haha

Another gift for any poor soul who got to the end

GREY HAIRED AGATHA MY BELOVED AND THE GAYEST WOMAN IN THE 30’S!!!!!

#another rant #agatha harkness #agatha all along #sorry…#no one in my life cares so I have to put it somewhere #Agatha I love you #I love you #kathryn hahn #you goddess

21 notes · View notes

mrmeepsmadmind · 25 days ago

Text

bee's protective nature over anyone persists even as a ghost & i think he sometimes forgets or doesn't care that only star can see him (sadly no touch tho) & will start shouting & angrily try standing between people who are mad at starscream even tho he can't be seen, he just wants to try & help anyways bcs STOP IT >:(!! BE NICE !!!! cried the ghost no one can hear or see except for the poor guy getting yelled at & trying to overhear the conversation over bee's frantic rebuttals while trying to discreetly let bee know it's ok while ALSO trying not to look Insane .

continued attempt at a 4am drawn doodle comic below

i might draw detailed later but yeah i just wanted to give yall this headcanon bcs i love starbee so much... the nagging wives finally finding their true loves... another nagging wife.

' you .. do know only i can hear and see you, unfortunately, right? or are you starting to go loopy, because i don't need another insane figure haunting me. I have enough already, as you can try and fail to imagine, little bee . '

' trust me, im Well aware .. of everything you just said . .. but i just. i couldn't just Stand there and do Nothing while someone talked to you like You were Nothing . that's not the autobot way. that's not- my way . '

' . . . '

#starbee #transformers #maccadam #tf idw #transformers idw #bumblebee #starscream #bee posting paragraphs of opinions no one cares abt to his new twitter after his old one got sniped #for telling megatron to offline himself #except no one gets notifs when he follows them except for starscream for some reason so #starscream is bee's only follower but bee keeps posting paragraphs abt anything anyways #' atp just dm me bee.' ' OPTIMUS. CaN YOU BELiEVE HE SAID THIS TO ME????? I CANNOT BE- ' optimus has never touched twitter in his life #jazz made and controls his twitter for him but no one knows bcs jazz uses it to roleplay as optimus and mourns bee being dead #bee keeps commenting hes not dead but jazzOptimus never gets the notification & hes rlly popular so rip bee #i love starbee bcs starbee is when theyre both cringe but free #when the foils meet and have fun the world burns but i am at peace bcs i love them so fking much #anyways um hiii if u guys see this and wanna be moots hiiiiii id love to be moots pls just comment hi or smthing #i need tf friends sobad #sorry for drawing bee like hes princess peach but im not bcs he is indeed my princess #he is my beautiful princess disorder #starscream social distancing from ppl & making ppl think hes an even bigger awkward jerk (he is) but rlly it's to give bee #space to stand between the conversators with his hands on his hips to exchange glares between the two #or just so starscream can see his opinions on the guy hes talking to better #'i think' 😾 that's a'😾 ' it's a gorgeous' 😾 i dont Like that Guy starscre'PLAN'#( um.. why are you shouting..) ' ...... NO.REASON. ' bee in a corner whistling somewhere #starscream grinding his fucking teeth #hes so fking annoyed at his ego being hampered by this hauntful creature but also it's so worth it to see bee be brought out of that #smiley ' lets go autobots!! yes sir optimus sir! ' shell he always puts on for everyone else so it brings starscream away from his #egotistical shell as well and they just both encourage growth from each other by being silly and cute and WAGHH TOGETHER #WAGHHH WAGHHH I LOVE STARBEE WRAGHHH!!!!!!!

77 notes · View notes

swordheld · 1 year ago

Note

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3 #i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai #after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where #it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.

107 notes · View notes