#no one ever said the man was modeling or modeled healthy relationships

[leiascully]

Rewatching Pilot and realizing how red Karen Swenson's hair is and something something Karen-Billy-Theresa/Scully-Mulder-Samantha parallels. It's not a fully formed thought. But there's something.

[haztory]

i’m a firm believer that john price, while he loves to take care of his lady and spoil her endlessly, is not a fan of seeing her reduced down to a baby.

if he’s into daddy kinks, it’s with the premise of you making him a daddy just as he will make you a mommy. if he’s spanking you, it’s not as a means of punishment but instead because it riles you up. he’s not into feeling abnormally ancient within a relationship dynamic, he actually quite likes when his woman is on par with him— intellectually, maturity, physically. he doesn’t like infantilization because he’s not into girls, he’s into women. sturdy ones that can hold their own and dish out as much as they can take.

it comes with its occasional drawbacks, however. the one—and only time— john ever lost his temper and yelled at you (not because you made him angry but because work is stressful, and his last assignment left him having a hard time readjusting to home, and you’ve been so patient, and he’s frustrated that he just can’t be what you need him to be) it was a staunch reminder that this is not a fling with some naive girl who idolizes him for his age and stature. he’s in a relationship. an adult one.

you’re staring at him, a brow raised and a stern look on your face as the echoes of his shout settle in the room. it’s a kind of glare that is only etched out by mothers to their disobedient children. stilling and telling of how exactly you feel about john’s outburst. there is no reason for gnashing teeth and snarling bites when you’re asking how you can best support him. and while you know in your head he doesn’t mean it, it still doesn’t excuse it.

“let’s put a pause in this, cause clearly we’re not going to get anywhere.” you say, voice carefully neutral but he can see the rage bubbling in your gaze, “why don’t you go take a walk, and when we’re both calm, we can discuss this further.”

and he hates the therapy speak, the measured and careful approach to emotions— it’s ridiculous, almost insulting. you’re treating him like a child, an explosive time bomb when both comparisons could be further from the truth. he’s the expert in bomb handlings, for christ’s sake. but he listens, grabbing his keys and a cigar and stepping out the door with an annoyed huff.

time and space, john begrudgingly admits, works wonders on a irritated mind. he finds his error in the mist of vexed thoughts and irrational moods, tempers it down with a long drag of his cigar and the wash of brandy at the pub. and he’s remorseful, incredibly so as he walks through the threshold of your home when the sun is setting to find you in the loveseat, book in hand and dinner simmering on the stove. you spare him a quick glance before returning to your novel, nothing further said.

he stands at the door, shameful and cognizant of his idiocy. he’s removing his fisherman beanie from the top of his head and moves to stand before you on your place on the couch. it has you closing your book, laying it down on your lap as you turn your attention to the man.

“i’m sorry.” he says lowly, eyes fixed on the hat in his hand as he picks a stray string on the fabric. “i shouldn’t have shouted at you. there was no need for that.”

your eyes stare knowingly into his, understanding written all over your face and while it’s a relief to see, it’s only a further iteration of what he’s come to realize—you are not just anyone. you’re someone who he wants to build his home with, navigate through terse and stormy waters with because you’re the perfect balance to the man who tries so hard to balance it all. it’s not perfect, but you don’t care about that. you don’t need perfect, have never demanded it to be—you strive for healthy. you model it by example, and you’ve whipped him into shape for it.

“it’s hard adjusting right now.”

“i know,” you tell him softly. your hands grab at his, pulling him down to his knees so you can see him at your level. you place your hands on the sides of his face, bringing him in for a gentle and sweet kiss. “if it’ll help, i can give you some space. a couple of days, i can go stay with my parents—“

“no.” he’s quick to shoot it down, shaking his head and rubbing his hands up and down the tops of your thighs, “i want you with me. i’m better when you’re with me.”

“okay.” you give him another gentle kiss. “thank you for apologizing. are you ready to eat some dinner or do you want to freshen up first?”

either choice doesn’t matter, he’d rather do whatever it is that you’re doing.

so yeah, john likes women who put him in his place. it turns him on a bit.

[maxdibert]

It’s the old chestnut that Snape fans from the livejournal days will recognize from discussions of Deathly Hallows when it first came out - the morality of the story basically boils down to ‘it’s fine when a Gryffindor does it’. Encapsulated by that low moment when Harry casts an Unforgivable and McGonagall approves of his gallantry rather than being horrified by what war makes of children. There’s a horrible streak of predestination to her characters. If a character is pretty, reasonably provided for, and sorted into Gryffindor then they are good even if their actions are by any objective standard not. If they’re unloved from birth, they remained unloved. Snape had to die without Harry ever having to reckon with the living man in the full knowledge of his true loyalties because she didn’t know what to do with the one character who wrote himself out of that binary.

For me, the best example of this is Tom Riddle. Rowling establishes that Tom is incapable of feeling affection because he wasn’t conceived out of love, essentially implying in a children’s series that if your parents didn’t truly love each other and you were the result of a poorly handled drunken night, then your life is more or less cursed. It’s like saying that if you aren’t born into a traditional nuclear family and your conception happened under questionable circumstances, then you’re doomed to choose the wrong path, that you’re somehow less of a person, that you won’t be able to feel the same way as others. This was something I thought when his backstory was revealed in the books, and honestly, even back then, as a teenager, I found it horrifying. Especially because, both in my case and that of most people around me, our families are quite dysfunctional or far from conventional, so that really hit me the wrong way.

Rowling has a very conservative worldview in general, and she projects that into the world she’s created through the moral foundations that govern it. As you rightly said, there’s no room in that story for people who weren’t born into privileged environments. If you were unlucky enough to be poor, to have parents who didn’t love you, or to have any sort of illness, then you’re either going to end up being really evil or even poorer and more miserable than rats. This ties into the blatant classism present in her work. And I’m not just referring to the blood-status dichotomy, but to the subtle classism that Rowling normalizes in her narrative, which is less subtle than she likely believes, because she probably isn’t even aware of it. It’s just another projection of her own biases. Rowling rewards characters who do good, even though they’ve always had it easy because they come from functional backgrounds, with the tools to make good decisions, positive role models, and healthy emotional relationships with their surroundings. Essentially, she glorifies people who were raised to be good for doing good, as if that were some kind of achievement. On the other hand, she demonizes characters simply because they don’t fit into her moral framework, without taking into account the social background that shaped them. She blames these characters for not overcoming their past, their traumas, and their hardships, for not somehow magically learning the difference between right and wrong, while completely ignoring all the socioeconomic and cultural mechanisms that play a huge role in shaping one’s worldview, especially in the choices made during youth when one is most vulnerable.

Basically, Rowling displays a complete cognitive dissonance in her work, creating very similar characters with equally reprehensible behaviors but treating them in completely different ways just because one reminds her of her high school crush and the other of a guy she didn’t like. And that’s a huge mistake and a sign of mediocre character development.

[airisu25]

HotchReid the narcissist conversation

By the time of season 2, Hotch and Haley's fights had been a regular thing. Jack's one then, they started to need more bonding activities for the kid besides eating and bathing. Meanwhile, the team was struggling after the fisher king case.

Hotch and Reid had always hit off since the beginning. He was Spencer's mentor, senior, role model in many perspectives. But they also shared dry humor, nerd culture, old souls, and just overall respect and admiration for each other. That led to the many many debates and arguments just for the sake of knowledge and entertainment between them.

In one of the fights, Haley accidently called Hotch a narcissistic because his devote for the job and the title hero (she later then apologized because we all said horrible things in a fight, but the deed was done).

He couldn't let it go and it came up in a psychology discussion with Reid. He didn't out right say it, but Spencer could read between the lines that Hotch was seriously considered he was saving people for his own ego.

To Reid, Hotch was one of the most selfless people he'd ever known including Marie Curie. He just went out of his way, using all the data, statistics, observations, interactions he had of the man to defend Hotch against, well Hotch (he was too angry to track down where this thought had came from). He even dared to bring up the religious household and bottomline abusive childhood due to the outburst emotion. He did that with such passion, anger, and protectiveness Hotch had never witnessed in the past 5 years they'd worked together. Remember in the early seasons, Reid always approached the victims and suspects with this soft young innocent kind way of his, not the passive aggressive and confidence he's gained within the next years.

So at this point their relationship was still platonic and professional with a healthy dose of trust and connection. Therefore, they both was surprised by the blatant deep adoration Spencer just showed. While Hotch didn't know what to do with the butterflies set free in his stomach, Reid was confused and embarrassed. Let's say it's a strangely important moment for both of them. And that's how Reid was so sure Hotch would remember it and get his message. All that trust and hope ended up with the shortest hug Reid has had with the team throughout the 15 seasons but also the first he initiated.

"I knew you would understand."

[mrhaitch]

did you have any men you looked up to, growing up? did you have any role-models of healthy love that is properly received or given(whether in media or otherwise) that helped you arrive where you are as a loving, involved father and husband today?

Not really, no. Bits and pieces from some relatives or people who were in my life when I was younger: my paternal grandfather for one. He is a gentle and softly spoken man, who emphasises diplomacy and listening. One of his most frequent phrases, usually as a preamble to his joining a discussion is "From this point of view..."

I've always loved him for that, starting any kind of discussion fully prepared to be proven wrong, allowing the space for disagreement. It's a rare and wonderful thing.

A lot of how I am now also comes from idolising my aunt's partner from my early childhood. He was an academic and a musician, and he had a talent for making you feel seen. He was the first person to talk to me like what I thought and felt mattered, that my interests were valid. He was always kind, enthusiastic, and knew how to draw me out of myself. Sadly he and my aunt separated when I was in my early teens and I've never seen him again.

With that said, I've always had a very strong sense of self - a clear idea of who I was and what I wanted to be. Or, more specifically, what and who I didn't want to be - which was most of the men around me. Men who carried sadness and confusion like a weapon. Men who saw their partners as objects or toys or tormentors, and their children as burdens or irritants.

Haitch is probably the biggest inspiration, or rather who she made me want to be. The best relationships are the ones that show you how far you've got to go, the best partners are the ones that inspire you to be better. The ones that inspire you to discard fear, ego, and hubris, that inspire you to expose yourself to the possibility of being hurt. That make you want to take that step off the cliff into infinity, even if you can't see the bridge beneath your feet waiting to carry you across.

With all of that said - I don't see, nor have I ever seen, myself as being in anyway exceptional. My behaviour is, to my mind, just basic decency and humanity. If you love someone - show it. Treat them with dignity and warmth. If you have children or find yourself responsible for them, dig deep and find the things they need within yourself.

I'll wrap up with my favourite Kurt Vonnegut quote, because it's basically a tradition now for me to have a quote for every occasion:

[floralcavern]

Lemme talk about Darkstalker because the fandom seriously misinterprets his character arc and it bugs me

The fandom is all like “Darkstalker is just an asshole. He’s not some tragic villain.” But.. he is????

Like, I’m not defending his actions. Man was a TERRIBLE person, but people, let’s talk about how he was before Queen Diamond.

Darkstalker was a good kid. He defended his sister and was patient with Clearsight and gave her time to come and meet him when she was ready and he only used his magic occasionally and never for truly selfish reasons (a lot of his early spells were for Whiteout!). He always rushed to his sister’s side when he saw his parents fighting.

Darkstalker LOVED his family (not Arctic tho bc he was an abusive dad). He LOVED Clearsight. He LOVED Fathom. “But when he was born, he was selfish and kept his powers to himself!”

BESTIES. HE WAS LITERALLY A MINUTE OLD. And he said later on that he regretted not helping Whiteout, but he still loves her for the way she is, all the weird quirks as well.

His relationship with Clearsight was healthy. He made the scroll to ease her mind. He often tried to help her unwind from work. They joked, they played, and she always teased him and he took it with a big smile.

The first ever sign of Darkstalker’s descent was when Indigo attacked him. He had NEVER been in a vulnerable situation like that. And Darkstalker was just a kid. That scared the shit out of him, but his ego is too big for him to truly admit that. So he makes his scales invulnerable so he never has to feel that fear again. Remember. He was a fucking kid. And him wanting to be king at the beginning wasn’t originally formed out of just lust for power. It was him genuinely wanting to his his powers for good. It was only later down the line when it developed into a want for power. But him being attacked by Indigo probably caused that desire for power, that need for CONTROL. Because when she attacked him, he wasn’t in control, which caused him to make his scales invulnerable.

The thing that really pushed him over the edge, though, was when Diamond took his mom. His whole world shattered. He had no reason to keep tolerating Arctic, but he still had to keep him around because Clearsight told him not to hurt Arctic. So he’s still forced to stay with his abusive dad, despite that fact that he was part of the reason that Foeslayer left. He HATED the Icewings. And I’m his situation, who can blame him??? His dad is abusive, the Icewings are killing the Nightwings because they’re bitter, and now Diamond took his mom. This is THE stepping stone for a villain origin story. And, again, he still did love Clearsight. But over time, it got more twisted. No longer having his mother for a good role model and now he’s too bitter toward the Icewings, he started to become his dad. A cold, angry guy who feels his violence is justified. The spell on Clearsight’s earring was horrible. One of the worst things he did. He manipulated her own powers because he found them to be ‘annoying’. Which is a TOTAL flip from how he used to think of her powers. He thought her abilities were fascinating and wonderful and he loved seeing how her mind worked. He LOVED the way her powers worked. But now he’s hellbent on avenging his mother, and Clearsight is trying to stop him. I think in a way, this shows he prioritizes not only his own vengeance, but also his mother over Clearsight. Remember, the whole entire start of Darkstalker’s path toward villainy was losing his mother. His path wasn’t started out of pettiness or just him being an asshole. It was having one of the people he cared about most being ripped away from him. But losing one person caused him to push everyone else he loved away. Him losing his mom caused him to lose EVERYONE and turned him into his dad.

Now, one thing that does bother me, and shows that Darkstalker does have a bit of an ego, is his lack of sympathy toward Fathom. This is something the fandom doesn’t talk about much. He thinks Fathom’s trauma is just Fathom overreacting and being dramatic. This is.. rather fucked up and I really cannot defend Darkstalker for this, especially since this was before his descent into madness/villainy.

But let’s talk about his relationship with Whiteout. He’s been treating his best friend and girlfriend rather terribly as he was going down his path of vengeance. But with Whiteout, he was still just as veraciously protective of her as he was before. Whiteout was the only person in the whole world he thought was wholly good. He knew that even Clearsight had flaws, he never truly believed her to be perfect, even before he started to get bitter. But with Whiteout, he truly believed she was one of the only truly good dragons EVER. So seeing his dad control her is what truly broke a piece of him and caused him to truly go off the rails. Seeing that someone can just take advantage of his sister like that caused him to lose all faith in his dad and the Icewings and in the end, losing faith and any sense of sympathy for them is what caused him to do all the shit he did. All of this, all of his anger and evilness stems from the Icewings fucking with this family and with the Nightwings.

The Icewings started his descent into villainy, but Darkstalker was the one who let them get to his head.

[sarahshot1st]

"I hate you!" Raven screamed, hurling a bowling ball at the infuriating firebrand.

"Aw, you know you love me," Cinder cooed, easily dodging the projectile on jets of flame.

"I. Do. NOT!"

The Branwen chieftess punctuated the statement by slamming her fist into the rack, causing a half-dozen heavy ceramic balls to flick up into the air. A few quick strikes of her sword - drawn in the blink of an eye - left the spheres cloven in half, making them more susceptible to the gust of wind she summoned with her Maiden powers.

Cinder laughed, turning aside the attacks with bursts of superheated air. She danced around in the air, playful, inviting, and Raven rose to meet her.

"Next time I see your daughter, I'll tell her you're alive and well - just as much the selfish prick she remembers."

Raven felt an uncontrollable spike of anger flash through her. The power burning from her eyes flared to life as she growled:

"You stay away from Yang, you bitch."

"Oh but of course, that's how you raise a child, isn't it? By ignoring them?"

Raven screamed, an incoherent howl of rage. She dashed forward, swinging Omen in a brutal arc that could have easily decapitated three ordinary foes - but Cinder was no ordinary foe. Her own blade formed in her hands as she raised them to intercept the attack, and there was an explosion of sparks as the two weapons met.

What followed was a devastating series of blows, faster than the eye could track. Raven cycled through each of Omen's dust cartridges, attacking with Ice, Gravity, Lightning, and Hard-Light in an attempt to keep her opponent off-guard. Cinder, however, was familiar by now with the unique properties of Raven's blade, and adapted her own weapons each time to counter Raven's attacks. Eventually the chieftess settled on Fire, her blade burning with a wicked glow that matched Cinder's own. The exchange ended with their swords crossed, each struggling to overpower the other.

The pyromaniac grinned wickedly. "You can pretend you hate me all you want, Raven - but the portal you used to come here tells the truth. You can only bond them to people you have a strong emotional connection to - isn't that right?"

"I find hatred to be the strongest emotion of them all," Raven spat. "I keep one on Qrow so I can keep track of his bullshit."

"Well, if you ever decide to do something about that bothersome brother of yours, hit me up, will you? I've got a score to settle with that drunkard too."

Raven pulled back, huffing condescendingly. "You know what? Fine. That's actually the most reasonable suggestion you've made all night."

Cinder smirked. "We'll call it a date then."

Raven's face contorted into a snarl. "Fuck. YOU."

"Fuck me yourself."

"RAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHHHHH-"

***

"So how'd the date go?" Vernal asked innocently.

Raven strolled out of the portal, not even sparing her lieutenant a second glance. "Shut it, Vernal."

"Yes ma'am." She didn't even try to hide her smile.

***

"You know, I don't know what you see in that woman," Watts said, voice laced with ridicule.

Cinder smiled. "I think she likes me."

"Oh please," the lanky man scoffed, not even bothering to turn from the ensemble of Scrolls he had laid out in front of him. "Every time the two of you meet, you inevitably end up holding swords to each other's throat. That is hardly what I'd call a romantic display of affection."

"And that just shows how little you know of romance. Swordplay has always been considered a suitable form of foreplay - or have you forgotten how our Mistress and her lover courted?"

Watts sniffed. "I'd hardly call theirs a model for a healthy relationship."

"And what would you know of relationships?" Cinder asked, waving a dismissive hand as she strolled through Evernight Castle. "You can't ever be bothered to become entangled with someone - always so busy with your toys. Face it, Watts." She paused, eyeing the back of Watts' always-impeccable suit. "You're a sigma."

"Just because I prioritize our Lady's goals over my own pursuits doesn't make me a 'sigma,' as you so crassly put it." The mustachioed man finally spun around in his chair to face Cinder directly. "My work is more important than any simple 'fling'."

"I see. Well then, I suppose there's no need to tell you I received an update from Tyrian this morning."

"What? Where is he? How is he doing? Is he all right?" The questions tumbled out of Watts' mouth faster than Cinder could answer, and he stood so quickly that his chair nearly toppled over.

Cinder smiled. "Deranged, psychotic, and nihilistic - in other words, Tyrian's doing just fine."

Cinder's tone was knowing, and Watts actually had the decency to blush. "Yes, well, that is very good. I worry about him when he's out on his own, given his penchant for self-inflicted pain. Do make sure he doesn't hurt himself."

"I'll be sure to tell him you asked after him."

[letsgoletsgetit08]

ink ch.2

summary: Park Seonghwa has been given an ultimatum by his parents: a year to marry a woman of their choosing with the end goal of producing an heir to the family fortune since queer party boy Seonghwa can't be trusted with it. His solution? Get absolutely blasted in tattoos to scare off his possible suitors and their families. But why did his tattoo artist have to be so pretty and kind? It's enough to make him question some things. Possibly, everything.

pairing: park seonghwa x hwang hyunjin

warning: mdni, barebacking, oral sex, public sex

total word count: 30,328 | chapter word count: 3,061

ao3 link: chapter 2

II: some solutions present their own problems

Mingi was not his first choice of friend (he would never tell him that, of course, the man is a big, jealous, 6ft tall baby) to meet up with to show his tattoo design mock-ups that Hyunjin had sent over Instagram a few hours ago, but he was available now, unlike his other friends, and Seonghwa couldn’t wait to show someone. 

Sue him, he was impatient. 

Mingi worked as a model and had become very sought-after a few months ago, finally catching his big break. But it meant that he was either jet setting and extremely unavailable or very, very available. And needy. And clingy. 

Seonghwa couldn’t lie though, he liked being needed. 

He had never been needed until he befriended Mingi. 

They used to hook up some in college and neither of them were the type to actually want a relationship but still Seonghwa found himself taking care of Mingi like they were together. It wasn't really reciprocated in the traditional sense but he had to admit, Mingi really had been there for him in his own Mingi way.

He was often surprised at the sage advice that Mingi always seemed to offer at just the right time. 

Seonghwa felt himself smile as he crossed the street, spotting his friend singing to himself as he sat down at a table in front of the coffee shop, a cup of espresso looking comically tiny in the man's big hands. 

He looked really good, Seonghwa had to admit. He was glad his agency wasn't one to force strict dieting, so Mingi looked trim but healthy, glowing from the inside. Seonghwa wondered if he had met someone. 

“What's up!” Mingi's goofy deep voice resonated as he spotted his friend approaching, standing up to hug him. 

Seonghwa used to shrivel into himself at the threat of physical affection, never having grown up receiving it. But somehow he had managed to befriend huggers. Now, he found himself missing it, sometimes even craving a hug from a friend. 

Pathetic.

“Hi, Mingi. Please remember that I do have to breathe in order to live.” He said into the man's shoulder as he was being squeezed affectionately. 

“Oh, my bad.” He chuckled as he let go. 

Seonghwa was suddenly nervous to tell Mingi his idea for some reason, the man was so practical that he was sure he would balk at the idea of spending (he's sure he would call it “wasting”) money on something so frivolous. 

He tried to stall, “How was Copenhagen?” 

Mingi laughed, “It was great, but you texted me to meet up so what's up?” 

Seonghwa took a deep breath, “Well my parents uh… you know what, I need a drink first.” 

Five minutes later, iced banana milk matcha in hand, Seonghwa sat back down in front of his friend, “Okay.” He cleared his throat, “Um. My parents gave me an ultimatum. Marry a woman of their choosing, or get cut off.” 

“Easy, put me in a wig.”

“Mingi, they've met you.”

“Yeah. Damn.”

“I only have a year.”

“You should run away.”

Seonghwa laughed dryly, “I already considered that.”

“Wouldn't work.”

“Nope, wouldn't work.”

“Damn. What are you gonna do, man? You're like very gay.” He said this so gravely that Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile. 

“Am I? I hadn't noticed.”

“I've literally been inside of you.”

“Ugh, I know. You ever miss it?”

“All the fucking time, man. You were the best dick I ever had, I swear.”

“Aw, Mingi. That means a lot.”

“You’re welcome. Stop stalling. How are you getting out of this?”

“Tattoos.”

“Tattoos?”

“Tattoos. What respectable family would let their daughter marry me if I get blasted?”

“I literally can't think of a single one.”

“Exactly.”

“But they're so expensive. And you're squeamish as fuck, bro. I saw you swoon at a paper cut one time.”

“Yeah but… like how else am I gonna get out of this?”

“You could legally change your name and get a real job.”

“I fear I don't have the right DNA for work, Mingi.” He sighed dramatically. 

“Your tattoo artist is hot, isn't he?” He raised an eyebrow, eyeing Seonghwa suspiciously.

“Okay, just because you're right-”

“I knew it!” He all but yelled. 

“But to be fair! I found that out after deciding to get the tattoos. His face isn't even on his Instagram page!”

Mingi chuckled, “I can't say shit, I'm fucking my manager.”

“I knew it!”

“How the hell could you possibly know that?”

“You're glowing, man.”

Mingi blushed, “Oh, well. I kinda like. Maybe am really into it. For real, you know?” 

“I really don't, but I'm happy for you. My baby's growing up, I could cry.”

“No you couldn't.” Mingi narrowed his eyes at him, knowingly.

“No,” Seonghwa laughed, “I couldn't. What's his name?”

“You’re deflecting again.”

“Fuck.”

“So, do you know what you're getting yet?” 

Mingi had scrolled back and forth through the sketches Hyunjin had sent at least 10 times now, his jaw open nearly the whole time. Seonghwa couldn’t blame him, Hyunjin had outdone himself. He had drawn Icarus’ fall from the sky with the sun, clouds, and feathers on fire raining down around the figure. From everyone else's perspective, Icarus was falling. But when Seonghwa would look down at it, it would look like he was flying. It was done in a sort of block print style with thin lines, detailed but not crowded.

“Bro,” he said, finally, “This is actually so sick.”

Seonghwa breathed a sigh of relief, “It's actually really good, right?” Almost bouncing with excitement.

“It's so good. You're telling me he's talented and hot?”

“So hot.” He moaned, leaning back in his chair.

“You can't fuck your tattoo artist.” Mingi said sternly.

Seonghwa pouted for dramatics, “But whyyyy? He's so pretty. Please can I? Pretty please?” 

Mingi rolled his eyes, “What if it ends badly and then you have this guy's art permanently all over your body? I'm assuming you're not stopping at a half sleeve?”

Seonghwa had felt a little silly after Hyunjin had informed him there was no way he could do a full sleeve all in one go. How was he supposed to know? Not that Hyunjin was rude about it or anything, Seonghwa was just easily embarrassed when he's found out to be uninformed about something.

Seonghwa slouched, “No, of course not, I have to get covered. And I know you're right but have you considered that I want to so bad?”

“I'm not one to take my own advice, obviously, but ink is way more permanent than a manager. Just. Be careful, okay man?” Mingi gave him a serious, sympathetic look. 

“I know, I know. I will. Fuck.” Seonghwa's head dropped into his hands. 

“I'm glad to hear it.” 

“Tell me about this manager who's dick is not as good as mine.”

Mingi looked bashful all of the sudden, “Um well. She doesn't have a dick actually.”

“No way! Song Mingi is dick sober?” He was astounded.

“Completely dick sober, bro.” Mingi nodded, barely containing a smile. 

“Did I know you were bi?”

“Probably not, I don't think we've ever really discussed my dating history and I happened to be on a long dick only streak there for a while so. Who knows.” He shrugged.

“You really like her though?”

Mingi was beaming, “I really, really do, man. She's a little older than me and ridiculously funny and super smart like she just says shit sometimes and I'm like that's the smartest thing I've ever heard, you know?”

“You're really smart, too, Mingi.”

“Thanks, Hwa. I mean yeah, I know I am, and I'm not saying she makes me feel dumb, actually she tells me I'm smart, too. But I just-”

“I think you're in love, dude.” He interrupted, already seeing the signs. 

“Probably.” Mingi sighed contentedly. 

“Well, let me know when the wedding is, if I'm not dirt poor and on the streets, I'll get you something nice.” Seonghwa offered dryly.

“Shut up.” Mingi shot back.

“Never.” Seonghwa answered impishly. 

“Thanks, man. I'm glad we got caught up.” 

“Me too, Mingi.” And he really was. He felt way better about things than he had prior to talking to Mingi. 

“I've gotta go, but I'll catch you later, okay? Send me pics of the finished product!” He stood up and started walking off, “And don't fuck your tattoo artist!”

“I won't!” Seonghwa called after him.

“You're a bad liar, Park Seonghwa! Later!”

Seonghwa was a horrible liar. 

The leather of the tattoo chair was cold on Seonghwa’s back. He had worn a flannel over his black tank top and reached back to gather it from behind him where he had taken it off to pull it back up over his left arm, leaving the right one exposed for what was about to come. 

Hyunjin walked around the corner, drying his hands off, “Do you think they're going to talk or just trade off trying to sneakily stare at each other the whole time?” He was referring to the fact that Jeongin was out in the lobby with Seonghwa's friend Yeosang.

Seonghwa laughed at how accurate it was - he had brought Yeosang along with him for moral support because he was a calming presence, and he happened to be available since Seonghwa’s appointment was in the late afternoon and Yeosang had gotten done with the Intro to Philosophy class he was a teacher's assistant for around an hour ago, but mostly the first reason. “Well, I don't know, mine's a Gemini so it's completely possible.”

Hyunjin sighed dramatically, “Damn, mine's an Aquarius. They're hopeless.”

“They're probably communicating telepathically.”

Hyunjun laughed, “Yeah but not to each other.”

“No, absolutely not.”

“To their home planets.”

“Probably neighboring home planets.”

“Yeah but they'll never figure that out either.”

They smiled at each other, savoring the ease at which they had friendly back-and-forth. All Seonghwa could hear was Mingi's voice in his head telling him not to fuck his tattoo artist. 

He could do it. 

He could be strong. 

He wouldn't seduce him. 

Probably. 

The care and precision with which Hyunjin was doing his job was fun to watch, almost intimidating. Seonghwa had always admired people who were good at their craft. It's probably how he ended up going home with so many bartenders and baristas. He'd start out genuinely watching them work and always seemed to forget that staring in such a way was easily perceived as flirting. But there was something so mesmerizing about someone who was confident and careful with their hands like that. This was no different. Hyunjin had already very cautiously shaved Seonghwa's upper arm with a razor and was now lining up the stencil with the transfer ink, hovering above the pen marks he had drawn on Seonghwa’s bicep and deltoid in order to achieve perfect symmetry and straightness, hovering millimeters above, hands steady as a rock.

“Remember, if it looks weird at all, please tell me. We can take it off and start over at this stage. I don't mind repositioning it 10, 15, even 100 times, but what I don't want is you to look at it tomorrow when it's in permanent ink and think ‘my shit is all crooked’, okay?” He pressed the paper down, smoothing it out carefully before peeling it off, “Okay go take a look in that mirror and tell me if it needs fixed.”

Seonghwa stood up and looked in the mirror. It was hard not to be excited. The piece looked even better on skin than it had on paper. He moved around, looked at it from all angles, flexed. It was perfect. Nailed it on the first try. 

“I think you actually did it perfectly on the first try.” He turned to Hyunjin, having a hard time hiding his smile.

“Sweet,” He winked, “Not the first time I've heard that.”

Seonghwa gave him a jokingly judgy grimace as he resumed his position on the chair, “What does that even mean?” 

Hyunjin snickered, “No clue. You ready?”

Seonghwa felt his heart rate pick up, nervous all of the sudden, “Um, yeah, I don't think I'll be more ready any time soon.” 

Hyunjin walked over with the ink gun in gloved hands, laying his left hand on Seonghwa’s shoulder gently, framing the transfer ink, and leaning in to get started. Seonghwa could feel Hyunjin’s breath on his bare skin and couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of warmth curling in his abdomen at the sensation. 

Which was quickly erased by the first bite of the needle on his skin. He's surprised he didn't flinch. 

Hyunjin seemed to read his mind, “Just tell me if you need to take a break, okay? Please don't try to be stoic.” 

Seonghwa grit his teeth. He was embarrassed by his low pain tolerance. But he also felt he wouldn't be able to hide his discomfort from Hyunjin, so he agreed, “Okay, will do.” 

Hyunjin had only gotten halfway through the outline of Icarus when Seonghwa started to feel woozy, palms cold and clammy, forehead beading with sweat, lightheaded. 

“Um, Hyunjin,” His vision was going black around the edges, “Can we uh, stop for a minute?”

Hyunjin pulled back immediately, “Oh, yeah of course,” then looked at him, “Jesus, I should have stopped sooner, I'm sorry.” He took his gloves off and reached for the paper towels, handing some to Seonghwa, who used them to dry his face. 

“No, no, I'm sorry. I was a little scared I'd pass out, this is honestly better than I assumed.” He gave a shaky laugh. 

Hyunjin smiled fondly, “You need something with sugar.”

Seonghwa nodded, “Yes, probably so. Unfortunately I did not plan ahead.”

Hyunjin was already digging through the drawer at his station, pulling out a candy bar, “Start with this and then why don't I send our odd little friends on a mission for boba down the street? I want some, too, this is mostly selfish, I promise.” 

Seonghwa took the candy bar, and bit into it greedily, immediately feeling better after swallowing his first bite, “Okay, sure, that sounds good. Thank you.” 

Hyunjin looked at him, amused, “Yeah, of course.” Then called over his shoulder, “YANG!” 

Two voices replied, one confused, “Yes?” And the other a bratty, “What?!” 

Seonghwa shook his head, “He thought you said ‘Kang'.”

Hyunjin's eyes became half moons and his head tipped back in laughter, “Can you both come here?” 

Hyunjin had finished the rest of the outline of Icarus by the time their friends got back with their drink orders - he had only made fun of Seonghwa a little bit when he needed to study the menu for the boba place before ultimately taking his suggestion for the “silly strawberry drink” he thought he would like. 

He was correct. 

Upon Seonghwa's request, Jeongin and Yeosang had pulled up chairs in Hyunjin’s studio - he needed a distraction - and were now playfully bickering upon Yeosang's insistence to tell them about how Jeongin had asked for the barista's number at the boba shop. 

Jeongin was blushing and pouting, defensive and embarrassed, while Hyunjin had to stop tattooing due to his and Seonghwa's laughter by the time Yeosang had finished the story.  

“And then, she finally understood what he was asking, she wrote it on the receipt-”

“STOP!” Jeongin whined

“- and he threw it away!” Yeosang finished

“Out of habit!” Jeongin defended himself. 

“You threw it away in front of her! In the trashcan right outside the shop!” Yeosang was not going to let his new friend off the hook easily. Arguably, calling someone out like that was not the way to make friends but it weirdly seemed to be working. 

“You fumbled.” Hyunjin and Seonghwa said at the same time, looking at each other in awe at their synchronization, then laughing again. 

Yeosang tucked a piece of hair behind his own ear (or, he tried to but ended up tucking nothing), looking at Jeongin with playful eyes, which was met with Jeongin sticking his tongue out, earning a blush from Yeosang. 

It went on like that until Hyunjin had to kick the other two out due to them turning into too much of a distraction and not wanting to be in a hurry to finish up at least the outlines during this appointment, planning to spare him from shading until next time. He paused every few minutes or so to drink his boba, or at least he was using that as a cover, because he seemed to be able to sense when Seonghwa was in need of a break by now.

Seonghwa couldn’t stop admiring his arm - even without shading and some detail work, it was beautiful. “Hyunjin, thank you. It's better than I dared to imagine. How did you learn, anyways?” 

Hyunjin smiled, a tinge of sadness behind his eyes, “You're very welcome. And that’s… a long story.”

Seonghwa smiled, “I have tons of time.” 

“I just tortured you for three hours and you want to spend more time with me?” Hyunjin smirked at him. 

“Call me a sadist, I guess.”

“Hey!”

Seonghwa laughed, “You're the one who called it torture! Come on, let me buy you dinner.”

He didn't know why he said it. He could still hear Mingi's voice telling him not to fuck his tattoo artist. 

But Seonghwa genuinely wanted to hear more about him. 

He was almost sick at the realization that he might actually be interested in someone as a person and not just for his looks. 

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “Okay, fine. But just so you know, this is way out of the norm for a typical artist/client relationship.”

Seonghwa couldn’t help but feel proud of himself, “Are you saying I'm special?” he cheesed and blinked sweetly at him. 

“You're definitely something else.” Hyunjin finished wiping down the tattoo chair, “And you're lucky you're my last appointment for the day.”

Hyunjin stopped cleaning for a second to look at Seonghwa and he felt the same feeling as he did when he first met the artist, like he was being studied. But this time there was something else behind his eyes, darker, almost hungry. 

Seonghwa refused to let his brain believe it could possibly be attraction. 

“Noted. I feel very lucky, Hyunjin.” He said after his mind stopped whirling with excitement at his thoughts. 

What the hell was he getting himself into?

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen! i’ve been following you for a very long time, and i haven’t considered myself lgbt in any way (i just think you’re the coolest), but i’ve had a bit of a strange experience this year — i seemingly fell completely in love with this friend of mine, this strong and kind and beautiful woman. we’ve always had a very close and special friendship, and she’s basically everything i’ve ever wanted. like i said i’ve never felt something for another woman before, but she makes me feel really special. she makes me feel like i’ve never felt before. and it’s kind of been weighing on me, because the experience of loving her has been so much more enormously positive and joyous for me than the experience of loving any man i have in the past. and it makes me feel kind of comfortable to love her and be a woman with her. so i feel conflicted. obviously i know i don’t have to (or can’t?) redefine my whole identity because of this one experience, but it feels so special and different and right

Hi. I know our culture ( including the LGBT+ culture) pushes this notion that we must pick one and go crazy with it. Get the tattoos, hang up a flag, wear all the shirts. It seems everyone if very keen on making sure everyone has a tight grasp on their sexuality and must them immediately and head first dive into whatever they perceive as that "community".

The real facts are, humans are complex but in a world less full of constant information about sexuality and attraction and whatever other kind of boxes people seem to NEED us to fit perfectly in, sexuality would be simple. We would grow, learn, experience things and eventually understand what fulfills us and who we are truly sexually and emotionally able to bond with in a meaningful way.

Some of us figure it out early. Perhaps we can push aside the noise or we had good role models who gave us space to explore while setting healthy examples. Some of us just need experience and time. Others go through life not really caring to name their sexuality beyond the moment or relationships they are currently experiencing.

Being a lesbian I can't speak for or understand bisexuality except knowing that I have a firm sexuality and know understand who I am attracted to and why. So my best guess is any sexuality is like that, straight, bi, gay etc. It takes time and life experience to figure things out and bisexuality is often sort of either placed as a blanket on people as in "all people are a little bisexual"--(They ARE NOT) or " if you are bisexual you are probably just gay". Both bullshit information that is out there more than it deserves to be. SO hearing those things women who meet another woman who piques her interest think "I am straight, it is just this one time and it probably isn't real" OR " was i wrong all these years about men and I am really a lesbian". Being bisexual is lovely and powerful because you get to explore both sides of the human experience in a meaningful way.Being attracted to men and women should be celebrated as a unique way of experiencing the world.

Bisexuality is a real thing, Even if it is one special woman that wakes up that feeling and it never happens beyond that, enjoy that emotion and connection. You can decide if you would like to be "out" or not on either side of that relationship. It is up to you.

I hear later in life lesbians say similar things to what you say and there is a push in our society to be straight because that is the default, the majority of people are straight. It is up to you if you want to weigh the connection you have had to men and how you feel about this woman and decide if you past relationships were more based on what you though you were supposed to be doing and less informed by your true attraction and needs. In retrospect you might realize that all along your "attraction" to men was superficial, a duty or role you thought you had. It is okay to explore that. Don't worry to much about either label and it is okay to be wrong.

I believe it is not our sexuality is not what changes but, with time and experiences, our understanding of it does.

[sourpatchys]

My honest thoughts on Daryl Dixon 1x5.

!Spoiler warning for those who haven’t seen it!

Honestly? I’m screaming and crying and throwing up.

Personally, I don’t ship Caryl, but oh boy, was I excited about that radio transmission.

(I don’t hate Caryl I just really enjoy healthy platonic relationships in media, pls don’t hate me)

I’m like 99.99% sure Carol said that Rick was back and OHHH BOYYYY am I even MORE excited for The Ones Who Live— it’s honestly the perfect set up for the two series to connect. I will fight someone on this.

I feel so bad for Laurent :(

All my homies love Laurent >:[

The fact that he was lied too for so long really shines though in this episode.

And I don’t mean that in a bad way— he’s literally just a kid, all he wants is a family like it used to be.

And now? He’s on a quest with the first male role model he’s ever had that he honestly looks up to, not because he was told too, but because he wants too, knowing he’s going to be left with strangers.

Hearing him ask why he couldn’t just leave with Daryl honestly broke my heart.

And ISABELL!!!!

Girl was just going to kill herself?? Just like that??

I need to know what that note said, I will literally start eating dry wall if I don’t find out in the next episode.

Don’t even get me started on Daryl’s outburst.

I don’t think we’ve seen him like that throughout any of the main series. At least not towards a child.

I stg I thought he was going to start crying when Laurent said he just didn’t want to be alone.

I know I did. I sobbed so hard, I had to PAUSE and gather myself after that one.

This is— truly a side of Daryl we’ve never seen before. His past is coming up but by bit, he’s going in between who he’s become and who he started as.

And he was willing to lose his eye?? Are you being fr right now?

I’m absolutely losing it.

This is still fresh because I literally JUST watched it, but as for Cons, I don’t think I have any?

Obviously, he’s a little more clumsy in this series than what’s to be expected given his history.

This episode really just gave me everything I’ve been wanting in terms of storyline.

We learned about the ship, about what Daryl did, why they’re after him.

We got to see, up close, how the walkers are being mutated. It’s a man made mutation, which is so fucking interesting— you cannot convince me that it isn’t.

We finally got to see the speech

Isabell, Laurent and Daryl are all in the same place again. Granted, they’re surrounded by people who hate them but that’s beside the point.

Using people as walker food?? On such a large scale?

I have so much more to say but this is already so long.

Please leave your thoughts, I would love to hear how everyone else feels, even the negatives!

In any case, my feelings on this episode can be described as shown below.

[findingnemosworld]

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 - 𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬

( 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐬, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲. 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫? 𝐎𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐊𝐒𝐀? 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡? 𝐌𝐲 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞… 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 )

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐬, 𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞 𝐮𝐩

[ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 ( 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 ) ]

[ 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 ]

( the second I read the request, this song came into mind )

Her mother had always told her that loving someone means that you go through the good days and the bad days together, that no matter what; you attempt your best to triumph through the hardships in order to maintain a healthy relationship as contrary to the picturesque image the films and television shows provide, falling in love was never sunshine and roses yet it also contained the dark clouds and rainy days, Maya had never experienced the notion of falling madly in love with someone up until she met Jordan Henderson.

Their first encounter was quite hilarious, being a popular artist with a massive following; she'd been contacted by the management of his football club to paint a mural of the players as means to celebrate their incredible achievements; and Maya, being a lifelong fan of the club had agreed almost immediately seeing as the payment was good and she'd be granted access to interview and meet some of the players in order to also write memorable quotes on the mural, the first person she met - or rather - nearly tackled due to her clumsiness was none other than captain himself.

Initially believing that he'd brush her off, or worse rudely speak to her; she'd been surprised by how calm, collected and genuinely polite he was to her, offering to help her and show her around the training center as well as meet and speak to every single player along with the coaching staff, throughout her time working on the mural; she'd gotten close to several of the players, one of them being the vice captain, James Milner.

One day, while she was working; James was keeping her company as she spent most of the time alone. " You know " he said, " I think Hendo's got a crush on you "

Maya halts her brush strokes to cast him a confused look, " Pardon? "

" Come on Maya, you can't possibly too oblivious to the way our Skipper has been looking at you " James states with a smile.

" Did it ever occur to you that a man and a woman can just - " Maya trails off before chuckling, " Oh I don't know, be friends "

" I don't think he believes that but if you do " James said, " You'll break his heart "

" James, I think it's time you start in investing in bettering your eye sight cause there is no way Jordan likes me like that " Maya chuckles, adding a few strokes to even out the details.

" And why is that? " James asks her with a challenging tone.

" I'm not a beautiful model, or the standard image of WAG's that people are used to, I'm just an independent artist who got lucky " Maya murmurs.

" That's rubbish, and if you won't believe me, pay attention to Jordan during training " were James's last words before he makes his way to the training pitch.

Not thinking much of it, Maya decides not to dwell on his words; joining the training session later on, to observe the players and hopefully work on the mural more -- every now and then, her gaze gravitates towards Jordan who seemed to work on a different gear during training, she looks away for a moment, dismissing James's words from her mind.

It wasn't until later on after training, just as she was making her way towards her car; she's stopped by the sound of Jordan calling her name causing her to turn around to see him jog up to her. " Hey " Jordan smiles.

Maya beams, " Hi! what's up? "

" I've been meaning to talk you for a week and a half but I've been chickening out every time " Jordan begins with a nervous chuckle.

" Ok " Maya said with a confused smile.

" I ... " Jordan began, momentarily losing himself in her doe shaped eyes, blinking twice; he rubs the back of his neck, hoping that she did not see the dust of pink on across his cheeks. " I like you, like a lot and I don't know if you like me back, and it's totally fine if you don't like me back " he chuckles, " But I would love to explore a possible connection, cause I think you are so talented and quite possibly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life "

To say that Maya was stunned would be an understatement, " I ... I'm speechless " she muttered, truthfully she had harbored a crush on Jordan from their first encounter yet opted to remain silent on her feelings so as to not complicate things. " I thought I wasn't your type to be honest " she states with an embarrassed chuckle.

" I can assure you " Jordan said, " I'm not like those other fools you see, I've actually grown fond of you because of your personality and how kind you are, So? " he asks with a smile.

" I would love to go on a date with you " Maya beams.

" Good " Jordan exhales a deep breath. " I'll phone you soon, yeah? "

Maya nods, " yeah " she leans closer to press a kiss on his cheek. " I'll see you later "

Three years had passed since that day, full of highs, lows and everything in between as falling love is not a fairy tale yet neither Maya nor Jordan wanted to give up on their love; that alone motivated them to work through every single hurdle that came at them, be it Jordan's hectic match fixtures or Maya's excessive need to isolate herself when things become too much, the pair were certain that their love can triumph anything that is thrown their way.

And yet, they definitely did not expect such a hurdle of this magnitude.

The 22/23 season was a blunder on Liverpool with several players departing, and the after effects had shown on Jordan who'd been on the unfortunate receiving end of a lot of criticism and hate by some of the fans of the club - and while he wanted to keep Maya away from it all, she insisted on helping him the best way she possibly can, homemade meals, inviting him to join her whenever she painted and often times at night, allowing him to be as vulnerable as possible by embracing him in her arms to comfort him; attempting her best to silence the voices inside of his head.

It didn't seem enough, least not to Maya who'd been under the impression that he was set to return to the club in the 23/24 season - he'd been training, working hard which had garnered the attention of several people online, some hopeful for a good performance whilst others felt the need to further criticize him, demanding that he leaves the club; she'd hoped that he didn't allow their words to affect him yet she had no idea of the storm that is lurking in the corner.

It started with a rumor, she'd been scrolling on Instagram when her best friend sent her a DM of Fabrizio Romano's post in which he reported that Jordan is considering an offer made by the Saudi Arabian club that goes by name of Al-Ettifaq; at first, she brushed it off, believing that it was merely just that, a rumor as there was no possible away that Jordan could depart from Liverpool.

Yet as the week dragged on, the whispers got louder; they'd revealed the amount of money that was being offered, and the benefits - and with each day, that ludicrous rumor became a reality when Jordan returned home just before the first match of the pre season was set, she'd tried to call him a few times, yet he didn't answer and it took another week of silence before that damned video had dropped and it set in stone what she and so many others didn't believe was possible.

Jordan Henderson departed from Liverpool Football Club after twelve years.

______________

" Maya! " Jordan calls out for her as he entered their shared home looking around, " Babe "

" I'm in the kitchen! "

Jordan walks into the kitchen; the first thing he noticed was her viciously chopping the tomatoes to throw them in the sizzling pan, while he believed that she didn't hear about anything, given the fact that she doesn't go online much, only for her art; her current actions prove otherwise. " Babe "

Maya looks up and forces a smile, " Hi, how was the medical test? did it go well? "

Jordan heaves out a sigh, casting his eyes down for a brief moment before looking up. " Maya " he began slowly.

" Tell me, when was I supposed to know? one month, two months maybe three months after you left " Maya states, furiously wiping away the tears as she laughed, " I didn't want to believe it, I thought it was a fucking rumor Jordan, the man that I love, the man that is so loyal to the club is now walking away, disregarding his morals for a fucking lump of money "

" If you can just calm down, I can explain " Jordan said.

Maya turns her back to him, busying herself with cooking. " What can you explain Jordan? I feel lied to, because I tell you everything about my life, from my galleries, to the commissions, the good and bad. I don't hide it because that's what being in a relationship is all about, two people communicating " she paused, choking back a sob. " But clearly that doesn't apply to you because, you've been secretive about the whole thing "

" I had my reasons " Jordan exclaims.

" What are they? If it's about the hate, I told you time and time again that what matters is the fact that you have so many people that care about you, myself included, you're a vital part of this team and every one knows that so what could possibly drive you to go a place that you yourself criticized " Maya states, attempting her best to remain calm.

" Maya " Jordan sighs, " I had to leave because a lot of things were crashing down, I love this club, and this sport but this season wasn't going to go the way I wanted it to so ... after talking to Jurgen, I realized that I had no place left in the squad, they'd brought in new midfielders, where does that leave me? So I did what I knew was best, yes it's not the smoothes transfer but it's what I need "

Maya sighs, grasping the counter with both hands; her tears rolling down her cheeks. " What about me? "

" I ... " Jordan paused, " I was going to ask you to move with me "

" So my needs are pointless so much that I'm expected to just uproot my life and go to a whole new place for you huh! " Maya nods. " I am just a piece of the puzzle, I get no say in this "

" That's not what I mean by that " Jordan interjects, his voice breaking. " I wanted to wrap this up quickly and come to you so we can talk this through "

" No Jordan " Maya shakes her head, " The proper thing you should have done was speak to me before all of this so that I would not have to find out about my boyfriend leaving to another place through the fucking internet " she turns off the stove, places the knife and storms out of the kitchen to head to the bedroom.

Jordan follows her with a confused expression across his face as she pulls out a bag, " what are you doing? "

" I'm leaving " Maya states, " If I'm not part of those plans you have then I don't see why I'm here, so go ahead, travel and play football but I'm not ready to sacrifice my career just yet "

" Maya, baby " Jordan pleads with her, " please don't do this, don't give up on us "

" Jordan " Maya interjects, with tearful eyes as she said. " YOU! you gave up on us the minute you decided to do all of this on your own so I'm going to give you what you clearly need, the space to play as you wish " she grabs the bag, her purse, phone and car keys. " Just know that I love you, but you didn't consider that at all "

That was the last time she'd seen him, he'd departed to Croatia per the report of the news; and while she was initially angry -- she had kept up with the team he joined which was managed by his former teammate and friend Steven Gerrard.

Two months had passed since their last encounter, Maya had been fully immersed with her newest gallery; titled, Regresa A Mí - the theme of the gallery being heartbreak -- it'd been a global success ending with several well known critics hailing her for blending ancient and modern art styles together; and with a twist of fate, she'd been contacted by some people who work in Riyadh which is the capital of Saudi Arabia, they wanted her to host her next gallery there and while she was hesitant at first, she ends up agreeing with the silver blink of hope that maybe, she'd see him again.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, she; along with her mother travel to Riyadh to begin working on arranging the setting and ensuring that every painting safely arrives, while she was knee deep in working, her mother who'd noticed how her daughter had been working so hard to avoid her emotions which caused her to make the decision that she knew, could either go extremely well or awfully wrong.

Two months felt equivalent to two years, he'd tried to move forward and pour his focus on this fresh start, yet each time he does; he finds himself late at night, scrolling through her social media account to check up on her, he'd seen the photos and news articles regarding her gallery, one painting in particular had caught his attention and in turn tugged on his heart the worst way possible, the painting depicted a woman crying; the woman being her despite her denial but he knew.

He'd convinced himself that she was better off without him, despite wanting to call her, despite wanting to travel back to London and leaving football behind just to see her again; it had been a rollercoaster of emotions that had definitely affected his performance during training, one night while they were in the midst of preparation for their match against Al-Hilal, he was approached by Paulo, his teammate.

" Are you ok Jordan? " Paulo asks him, " You've been off for a few days "

Jordan looks up, and forces a smile. " I'm ok, I just ... " he paused, " I remembered someone "

" Your ex girlfriend? " Paulo asks him.

Jordan's eyes shot up, " How did you ...? "

Paulo chuckles, " My wife is a big arts fan and had shown me the account your ex girlfriend owns, It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together since you like her posts, a lot "

" Yeah " Jordan nods with a sad smile, " We didn't end on a good note actually, she wasn't on board with my move here "

Paulo tilts his head, " She wasn't on board or you didn't tell her directly? "

" A little bit of both " Jordan mutters. " I miss her mate, like a lot! " he chuckles.

" You can see her you know " Paulo said.

Jordan looks at him with a curious look, " What do you mean? "

" She has an upcoming show in Riyadh " Paulo explains, " I got three tickets, for my wife and I, a friend was supposed to come with us but he has something came up, take the ticket and come with us "

" I'll think about it " Jordan smiles, " Thanks Paulo "

Paulo pats his back, and returns to training. Jordan mulls over Paulo's words, debating on whether or not he should phone Maya but opting not to, as he shifted his focus back to training.

___________

Galleries were always a nerve wrecking process for her, to have art crickets from all over the world coming to see your work definitely takes its toll on her; but she was thrilled nonetheless, to grow and become a better artist then where she started years ago; while her mother conversed with people Maya did not really recognize, she retreats to a corner, nursing a drink in her hand while observing her surroundings and that's when her gaze landed on him.

Close to three months had passed and it felt like a lifetime, he looked quite handsome with the suit; and he wasn't alone, he was accompanied by a couple, all three conversing while they looked at one of her paintings; she inhales then exhales a deep breath and was about to escape when she heard his voice call out her name, reminiscent of the first time.

" Maya " Jordan whispers.

Maya turns around, forcing a smile in order to conceal the crashing waves of her conflicting emotions. " Jordan " she breathes out his name with a smile.

Jordan excuses himself, leading Maya to a more secluded corner to really get a good look at her. " Wow " he murmurs, " You look -- wow " he chuckles.

" Yeah, the highlights are a change " Maya gestures to her hair before smiling. " You look good "

" I'm trying " Jordan said with a sad smile. " It's not been easy "

" Jordan I ... " Before Maya could say anything, she hears her mother call for her, and turns to him. " Can I see you sometime? "

Jordan nods, " How about tomorrow night after the match? "

Maya nods, " ok " she smiles, " It was nice seeing you "

" Nice seeing you too " Jordan smiles.

_

After a rather disappointing match which saw Jordan's side loosing, he looked forward to taking his mind off of the loss by meeting Maya once again, she sent him the details of the hotel she was staying in and he drove to pick her up, taking her to a popular restaurant in the area which he managed to get a reservation in, once they ordered their meals; Jordan takes the chance and asks her, " How have you been? "

" Living through my art " Maya responds, " It wasn't easy but I managed, you? "

" It's not easy either, I miss it there but ultimately I made the proper choice for the sake of the club " Jordan said, " It's what they wanted and what should have happened "

Maya shakes her head, " Somehow I don't believe that "

A wave of silence takes over them for a moment before it was interrupted, " Did you ...? " Jordan trails off.

Maya chuckles and shakes her head, " No, you? "

Jordan laughs, " I can't possibly forget the best person I've known "

She gives him a smile, just as their meals arrives; they eat in comfortable silence, and then Jordan suggests a stroll near the beach, there were no words exchanged between them for the first fifteen minutes until Jordan speaks up, " I want us to try again "

Maya sighs, " Jordan "

" Hear me out please " Jordan pleads with her, stopping halfway. " I love you Maya, so much and while at first I thought I was doing the right thing by staying away ... seeing you now made me realize what an idiot I was for letting you go, so ... if you'll give me a chance, we can give this whole thing a redo, in a proper way this time "

Maya grows silent, she couldn't exactly lie to herself and say she hadn't thought about it, " What do you mean? "

" We organize some form of way to keep in contact, I fly back to England whenever I can, and vice versa and if we can't see each other, calls and texts can work " Jordan said, " I just .. I don't want to let you go Maya "

Maya chews on her bottom lip, debating on how she could approach this before a sigh escapes her lips, " It's not going to be easy for us "

" I know " Jordan nods, tentatively wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her into a kiss that was full of longing laced with pain of not seeing her these past few months, " But we can work through this "

Maya nods, resting her forehead on his; yes, falling in love is not easy but when you find that one special person; even if they break your heart, if it's meant to be, you'll find your way back to them and she definitely found her way back to Jordan.

[prismatoxic]

I want to know about Confrontation!

(the post this ask is referencing)

that one is the first fic i started writing about these guys:

my intention was to explain how tobias and cam first started their romantic/sexual relationship, and i actually did get into the beginning of the sex but then got distracted by other things, as my adhd self is wont to do

it's from tobias's pov, explaining how he's felt like things have been different with cam lately:

It’s impossible to deny that things have felt different for a while. Of course, that’s just what happens when children become adults; Tobias knew it was coming, one way or another. He just wasn’t expecting the way things have shifted—the way the air around Cameron has become electric, like he’s full to bursting with a sort of energy he’s never had before. Deacon feels subdued by comparison; he’s more mature, now, effortlessly engaging in adult topics and learning a sort of precise control over his emotions. Tobias is incredibly proud of them both for coming as far as they have, but... It’s still strange, with Cameron specifically. Looking back, he supposes it began when Cameron started going to college, which makes some amount of sense. His parents have always been overbearing, and any amount of freedom would be expected to change him. They’ve never liked Tobias or Deacon—efforts to coordinate their sons hanging out were usually in vain—and on top of being resistant to Cameron’s most important non-familial relationships, they’re also, at best, dismissive of the trans thing. A perfect cocktail of underlying resentment that will surely lose them contact with Cameron as soon as he doesn’t rely on them at all anymore. (As Tobias understands it, they're still paying for his schooling.) Living in the campus dorms, Cameron surely feels liberated; he's mentioned in passing how hard it was to get his folks to agree to let him move out in any capacity. He also spends a lot more time here, at the Rivera household, than he was ever able to before. It’s nice seeing him so enthusiastic about life and having fun. It’s nice that he clearly feels safe here. It’s nice that he’s blossoming into a young man. And it’s weird how different his presence feels now, but frustratingly, it’s hard to quantify how or why.

things take a turn after deacon's 21st birthday; tobias takes him out drinking and it goes well. he's been trying to model a healthy relationship with alcohol for his son, but when deacon seems to have taken that lesson to heart, tobias slips up a bit because it's not an active concern anymore. (he's long-divorced and depressed; he's done everything to be a good father, not only for deacon but for cameron as well, but the man is Sad.)

anyway while drunk he manages to wind up looking at porn and that rabbit-hole eventually leads him to cam's, uh, camshow. whoops! he's so worried his son's best friend is like having money troubles or something that he doesn't stop to think about what he's doing until he's watching. then, uh, well, this isn't doing anything but making him feel like a creep.

naturally deacon is at work the next day and naturally cam comes over for a visit. tobias decides making sure cam is safe is more important than hiding his shame.

“So, what, you’re gonna tell me to stop?” Cameron spits, and the words and venom with which they’re said makes Tobias look at him again, stunned. The way Cameron is positioned now, hugging his legs almost defensively with something deeply betrayed in his eyes, Tobias fears for the worst. ...then it clicks. This isn’t about the sexual nature of it, Tobias seeing him in such a state. It’s about control. It’s about how his parents would lose their minds and demand he cease immediately; how they’ve always dictated everything he can and can’t do. Maybe that’s what the sex work itself is about, too. Freedom. “...That’s not why I brought it up,” Tobias says softly, and Cameron seems to relax just a bit. “I’m just worried, Cam. I don’t like the idea of you being backed into a situation like this out of necessity.” He continues before Cameron can speak up again, clearly poised to do so; “But if that’s not what this is, then... it’s none of my business. If it’s what you want to be doing, then that’s your decision.”  Cameron watches him a moment longer, and then the tension starts to bleed out of him, replaced instead with what looks like guilt as he curls in on himself. “...God, Toby, I’m sorry,” he murmurs, looking away. “You’ve always supported me. I shouldn’t have gotten mad...” “It’s okay,” Tobias assures, pushing past his own conflicting feelings to reach out and gently set a hand on Cameron’s upper back. “I know how your parents are. I should have chosen my words more carefully.” He smiles when Cameron looks over at him again, adding, “Just be safe, okay?”

but tobias makes a mistake as cam opens up a little more about it; he indicates that he actually was in the stream, not that he just realized it was happening. and cam, who's been hot for toby for ages, seizes the opportunity. he's actually a crafty little bastard under the cute surface.

so, you know, mutual attraction (despite tobias's insistence that he's too old for cam) leads to sex. but tragically i moved on right when it was getting good 😔 i gotta go back to it.

[sunsetrules]

okay but how are the people that are so willing to crap on Damian for being the little tsundere stink he is able to take the entirety of their unbridled anger out onto this little man without having the self-awareness to actually sit with the fact that the dude is six years of age????

like, even if we were to set aside the fact that irl most young children have NO grasp on their feelings whatsoever and are only as emotionally mature as they've been taught to be/as their still growing, still developing (emphasis on STILL DEVELOPING!!!) brains will allow them to be... small Desmond is literally trying to work out why his mommy and daddy can't take a minute out of their lives to see him when his classmates' parents can afford to take HOURS, while also simultaneously trying to maintain the facade of the perfect independent self-sufficient son that doesn't need to rely on anyone or anything ever...???? like just????

preschoolers struggle to work through stupid shit like learning to share or dealing with getting their ipad taken away- can you imagine the toll this constant back and forth swing of contradictory emotion (oscillating between his Second Son "Scion" I-Can-Do-No-Wrong exterior and the flawed, imperfect, undeserving son he internalises himself to be in private, alongside having to battle and shame himself for the very legitimate and innate need for comfort, love, and security that a child his age REQUIRES for a healthy upbringing?????) will take over time on a person??

even ADULTS would struggle to juggle all that crap- how do you expect a literal PRESCHOOLER to be able to do so??? in a healthy way that doesn't impact his behaviour and personality and mental health, no less???

trauma fucks people up beyond repair; it eats at you until you are unrecognizable- a hollow shell of your former self... the consistent absence (and by extent, emotional neglect) of both of his parents to this end, is a kindof ongoing trauma that only serves to make what was bad worse.

like i get where people are trying to come from with the "don't excuse his circumstances for his mentality when HE chooses how to act" perspective, and in almost any other case I actually do take this side because yes, while trauma does not make nice people, it is ultimately up to the afflicted to decide whether they want to let this trauma impact them and assume agency over their person for the rest of their lives. however.

VEEEEERY BIG HOWEVER!

in this specific case... this just isn't applicable!!! again, as I've said earlier,,,,, Damian is a preschooler,,,,, he is an intelligent little fucker, that I don't deny, but scientifically speaking, his brain is simply not developed enough to process the complexities of what exactly is going on to him, and how the behaviour of those around him influences his own subconsciously. this isn't just a matter of flipping a switch, of actively making the choice to not let your trauma influence you and act on your own will- he legitimately is not actively conscious of the fact that he "chooses" to act in the way he does; he has no healthy role model to follow, no support system, no one to fall back on should he stumble.

man even Ewen and Emile, who i hesitate to call his friends, act more like his lackeys than they do genuine companions (and although these relationships are probably the healthiest he has at the moment), it ultimately means that in the eventuality he needs someone to confide in, he... doesn't really have anyone. i mean, he has his butler, but does that really count, considering Damian is most likely aware the man is paid to spend time with him (and as much as that shouldn't affect what seems to be a pleasant mutual relationship, it kindof does lol???? like how would you feel realising your only friend is literally forced to hangout with you?????)

i need some of y'all to wake the fuck up- try to picture going through every single day of your life wondering which flaw, which ineptitude; which FAILING of yours shamed your parents into recluse and (practically) had them decide that ZERO contact was the way to go???? WITH THEIR FUCKING SIX YEAR OLD???

bffr. be so fucking fr rn.

[maria-eve-falcon]

This whole Taylor saying it's the happiest she's ever been is making me depressed all over again, not just as a woc but also as a swiftwyn fan. Like she's basically throwing away all those 6+ years of writing about how their relationship was beautiful and it made her truly happy–she herself said in her song that the end of a healthy relationship (especially an ltr) doesn't negate the beautiful aspects of it. That just because it didn't work doesn't mean it wasn't good. And now, despite all the backlash, despite the ugly optics of this thing, despite everything that man stands for she's still promoting him to her millions of fans as "a good guy painted bad by the narrative". And their white asses will try to bully me and other poc fans into buying that shit because joe liking a model's pic long BEFORE he and tay become a thing is somehow worse than Matty doing nazi salutes ig.

LMFAO THEY ARE CHERRY PICIKING THAT INSTAGRAM MODEL'S PIC HE LIKED IN 2016 WHILE MAKING BILLY LYNNN? that cracked me up.

this is messed up on too many levels for me to comprehend actually. specially her making songs bout that islamphobic , rasict , antisemitic basted (also sexual harasser in my opinion) is too much for me.

she is literally wasting these 6.5 years but then again she is angry so i don't care if anyone hates me imma just say, she will regret this. she'll regret this narrative too. but I just wish it won't be too late.

joe is the typa person to quietly move one. we'll never hear from him. it will hurt him, cut him, wound him and we will never hear it. that's why they are tryna push this, cause they know that.

and swifties know that too. but I think tay is just being tay cause she's hurting (still not an excuse to date matty) . swifties(cupcakes) are a problem themselves . specially those who are tryna defend her..like..stop

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I'm curious, what do you think about David Minns and his relationship with Freddie? It's always been difficult to figure out for me

It is difficult because we never heard Freddie's side of the story and David was so bitter in his book, and as another user (again, I think it was rushingheadlong) pointed out, it's hard to take David at his word when he got a lot of stuff factually wrong about Queen, too. He's like an unreliable narrator, imo. I'll get the less controversial takes out of the way. It was Freddie's first real relationship with a man, so it was important. It seems like Freddie did love David at some point and it probably felt good for him to finally be with a man. With that said, Freddie was still with Mary for the first year or so of their relationship, which obviously put a lot of strain on them. I understand why David would get fed up with their relationship being hidden and his boyfriend still having a beard...and I understand why Freddie still felt the need to hide. He was the face of a rock band in the 1970s with growing global success. He didn't want the band to be impacted by his sexuality. He knew his parents would never accept him. He was likely afraid to break off the longest relationship he ever had, the one with Mary, even though he was ultimately unhappy with her, because Freddie had a really hard time cutting ties with people in general.

David also talked about Freddie facing guilt over being gay, feeling like he was letting his family and his religion down. He said Freddie would take out his struggles with his sexuality and family on him in arguments, which I can picture. Since portraying Freddie as a gay man struggling immensely with his sexuality was/is not at all a popular, money-making take, I'm more inclined to believe this.

Now, let's get to the ugly stuff. There were the arguments I just mentioned, and like I said, I understand why it would be taxing on David to be in that situation. It seems like neither man was really mentally ready to be in a monogamous, stable relationship tbh, and neither had a model for what a healthy relationship between men was supposed to look like. Freddie fell for Joe and wanted to have his cake and eat it, too, by dating Joe and David, but he didn't ask for either man's consent beforehand lmao, so they were understandably very pissed. I think Freddie was...kind of emotionally unstable when it came to romance when he first came out. He'd spent his entire life, 30 years, deeply closeted at that point, and when he finally let himself break free, he kind of needed a period to explode (hello, "Don't Stop Me Now"). He needed to find himself as a gay man and have a lot of sex with men tbh--which is great! But he also wanted a committed, loving relationship, and to paraphrase Freddie, you can't have that when you're fucking half the world (again, those are his words lol. He was so funny sometimes). So, I understand why Freddie acted the way he did, but he quite simply wasn't ready for the kind of relationship he dreamed of tbh and I don't blame David for not wanting Freddie to cheat on him, of course.

But, here's the controversial part: Freddie's first relationship with a man was abusive.

David admitted to hitting him first, to being the one to start physical violence in their relationship. I honestly really hate when people say Freddie and David's relationship was mutually bad, because emotionally, yes, perhaps, but they were not equally wrong. David threw the first blow, and that fundamentally changes a relationship forever, and it changes how you're going to react to what that other person does. It makes a person more on edge when the possibility that their partner will turn around and hit them isn't a scary fantasy anymore. Fighting back against someone who hit you is not "mutual abuse", either. There was some story in the book where David said he started a physical fight with Freddie, but Freddie ended it, if you know what I mean. Like...idk, maybe I've read too much Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft, but maybe David shouldn't have started fucking hitting his boyfriend first if he didn't want Freddie to fight back! There was always that option!

And again with us not knowing Freddie's side--Minns said Freddie didn't even care when he was in the hospital for intentionally trying to overdose, and David Evans said Freddie called up to ask about it, but Evans more or less responded like, "wtf do you care? You have Joe." So Freddie did reach out, but was pretty much met with scorn, and this happened after a pattern of abuse from David so...yeah, you can see why Freddie would break up with him then and just want to be finished with him. I'm not saying David tried to kill himself to further emotionally abuse Freddie (though suicide threats are an emotional abuse tactic experienced by friends of mine) because he did genuinely seem like a troubled person. I'm saying that things probably looked very different from Freddie's perspective.

And despite it all...Freddie reached out to David again in 1986 simply because he wanted to be friends again. David even said Freddie was nothing but kind to him after that. Freddie had done a lot of healing by then and had Jim. But I also think David said something about how he thought he could've "saved" Freddie in his book? Which is just nonsense for so many reasons, I don't even have the strength to get into them right now lol.

But yeah like, everyone talks about how Bill was abusive towards Freddie, but with David, it's suddenly "complicated"? No, it isn't, really. Freddie verbally fighting with David or even cheating with Joe didn't mean he deserved to be hit. I think it's worthwhile to think about the long-term impact it had on Freddie's ability to form long-lasting relationships with men and have healthy coping mechanisms, when the first real man he ever loved turned around and hit him. It's not that Freddie never did anything wrong, it's that this shit has a fucking impact on people and I don't think it's a stretch to trace some of his unhealthy behavior in relationships back to at least being solidified by that first experience with a same sex relationship.

So...yeah. The whole thing was one great, big mess, in my view, even if there was genuine love at some point. Given how many issues Freddie had to work out, I don't think it ever would have worked tbh, but David's behavior certainly did not help and I do not like him.

[walkingstackofbooks]

Just realised I missed this one out seemingly 😅

DS9 2x12 The Alternate thoughts (I'm rewatching, so possible future spilers)

Quark and Odo's, uh, thing, is so obvious, whatever it is that they have

"You're serious?" "Have you ever known me know to be?"

The switch and bait, I knew there had to be an ulterior motive - yes, Odo, excellently played XD

Ughhh, Mora. He's half treating Odo like a child, half still like an experiment - "Haven't quite managed the ears yet", "Is the suit a suit, or part of you?" - really horrible intrusive questions, aren't they?

Just noticed that Odo's hair is modelled after Mora's...

Mora, Odo KNOWS this station, he KNOWS Quark's motives better than you. As do we - Quark was DEFINITELY hoping this would be a distraction to Odo.

"I integrate as much as I want to", and quite right too

"Tell me about this police thing..." "I enjoy my work as Chief of Security." STOP DOWNPLAYING HIS ACHIEVEMENTS

Oh my goodness, I can't stand him, I genuinely hate him. He's so clearly manipulative and abusive, gah.

As always, Jake and Sisko are wonderful. I'm with you on Klingon opera, Jake. I love how terribly Sisko is justifying why Jake should have to learn it.

"Just because you suffered through all that doesn't mean I have to." "Yes, it does." This reminds me of his conversation with Bashir in Forsaken about the ambassadors - "So now you take the same perverse pleasure in doing it to me" - man, Sisko definitely is consistent XD

I actually can't remember how this episode goes, they definitely don't find the changelings...

Mora bringing up a story Odo doesn't like, directing him to "Tell her", and when Odo does interrupting like he's a child is not how you treat people you love! Or at least it could be in friendly banter but this isn't! It's infantilising and patronising

Jadzia had such a tight, polite face - good for her not showing too much interest once she realises how uncomfortable Odo is.

Oh! Is this the hologram one?!

Lol, that "lifeform" is just those whaddya-call-them metal things you use in primary school with magnets. Iron filings! That's the one.

Okay, so not the hologram one, then...

I've often thought Odo and Julian have a lot in common: I hadn't added complicated parent relationships to that thought but now I kinda want to see Odo being able to talk to Julian about his complicated feelings and having someone who actually understands listen

Sisko again forgetting not everyone has a good dad... It must be nice to be Sisko

Well, I guessed that the being wasn't going to stay there as soon as Miles said "level five security" - if it's highly secure there's gonna be a breakout, right?

Jadzia! I thought she was benched for this episode, but yay, she's back!

"Doctor Bashir wouldn't listen to me and hid my clothes so I wouldn't leave." I love her to PIECES, and I DO like their friendship

Sisko just being like "yeah get to work" XD It's good enough for him that Jadzia managed to escape Julian

"I'm moving in closer. If you run into my wife, don't mention I did this." Oh Miles, that is not healthy communication.

"I'll come home tonight and she'll ask me how my day was and I'll say, fine, honey, how was yours? Sometimes I think she really doesn't want to know the truth, so I do us both a favour and..." Oh Miles, THAT IS NOT HEALTHY COMMUNICATION

Come on Jadzia, you knew how he'd respond to that suggestion.

She did it with such a straight face I'm genuinely not sure if she was goading him or if he's just imagining that

Ughhh that interaction was kind of fine until this monologue tho :( The flirting is fine since they're both fine with it - but why the writers gotta make Bashir so creepy

He's about to be got!

Ooh, no, he got away :D

Even if you WERE right Mora, telling Odo what he thinks is not the way to go!

Yeaaaa, Odo and Bashir sure could have a lot to talk about wrt parental figures who are proud because they see their sons as their achievements, and not proud for their sons' sakes

Mora, talking like that behind someone's back is never a good move. Man, Jadzia is so uncomfortable

No, Mora, Dr Bashir would try to understand!

SHUT UP MORA, THE CREW WOULD NEVER

Fuck you, Mora, turning him against his friends.

I do get that Mora is genuinely worried and concerned for Odo, but he's just bad and incapable of doing anything well

Just because you "gave him more than anyone else in your life" DOESN'T mean he owes you A THING - that is the first step of parenting

Oh I DO remember this episode now XD eventually got there

And now Mora is trusting the crew? Has he finally realised he can't go it alone? Or has he resigned to them "putting Odo in a zoo".

"If maximum stun doesn't bring him down immediately, we set phasers to kill." "Commander." "I know, Major." Oof, that cannot have been an easy order to give.

Self awareness! Finally! Bit late, but we can work with that!

"I prescribe rest because it's hard for a doctor to go wrong with that one." 👍

Odo has never been my favourite character, but I do like him, and this episode is just so heart-breaking. And infuriating. Go away, Mora, forever please.