#no one else particularly cares
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so can we all agree that Steve would be INSANE about nascar
#so fun fact#it first aired in 1960#that was the first DAYTONA race#n in my heart mr.c mentioned it in like passing#like oh! thats cool! that nascar thing is on tv!#n steve happens to be there n he LOCKS tf IN#beginning of the end#no one else particularly cares#soda tries to but he always gets like well... is there anything else??#after theyve made like the 3rd lap#godbless that boy#he doesnt have the attention to watch them make the same lap 100 times#but steve knows like EVERYTHING about EVERY racer#im talking stats even the drivers dont know#when he was younger he wanted to be a driver SO bad#the outsiders#sodapop curtis#steve randle#hes SAT for EVERY race#one time he was doing something#n darry was like if u dont knock it off im gonna let Pony watch sunday morning cartoons instead of the pre-qualies#n steve was so distressed over that he knocked that shit off IMMEDIATELY#ponyboy curtis
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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One of the things that had my mind spinning for a while is that in the Shadowheart origin, if you reject Shar, Minthara will apologize. She will believe that she and the rest of the companions held Shadowheart back from achieving her destiny. She blames herself for Shadowheart making a choice completely on her own, thinking that Shadowheart's concern for herself and others held her back. Minthara feels it to be her fault that Shadowheart is not as powerful as she could be and she is to blame for Shadowheart walking away from her destiny. Minthara sees herself as having failed for Shadowheart making the choice that she did.
I know it is cut content and cannot really be considered canon, but she does something similar in the breakup. Where she's yelling at Durge and asking why they rejected Bhaal. And Durge can tell her it's cause they love her. When the breakup was slipped in, I was initially so angry because Minthara calls Durge stupid for choosing love over power (when Minthara herself chooses love over power). Especially since the breakup happens like 10 minutes after the alurlssrin confession where she says the two of you have an unbreakable bond. I used to be so confused on why she would be so upset that you actually loved her. Then I realized that she's not upset that you love her. She's upset cause she fears that your love for her held you back.
Even though she sees you as her equal, she keeps putting herself as less than you. Where your wants and desires are more important than her own, and your greatness should be put above any affection you have for her. She wants you to love her of course, but she does not want to be what holds you back from reaching for power. To Minthara, power is safety and she has never felt safe. She wants you to keep elevating yourself cause the stronger you are, the safer you will be and by extension, the safer she will be. So you picking her over power means you are less safe and by consequence, she is less safe. And as much as Minthara loves loves, she needs to be safe first. It's why it seems like she keeps making the same dumb mistakes over and over, getting herself into precarious situations. It isn't because she's necessarily blinded by love, but she feels her proximity to power should keep her safe.
I also had a discussion with someone on Reddit, talking where it almost seems like Minthara keeps putting herself in positions of servitude, despite having some pretty ambitious goals involving world domination. We are talking about someone who has been a servant of Lolth her entire life. She tells us she was raised to be a soldier in Lolth's army and that was all she was meant to be. For 200+ years she was a servant and has never been anything else and doesn't know how to be anything else, and I believe she is too afraid to try to be anything else.
As a paladin, she was responsible for keeping social order, follow the word of whatever Priestess was in charge and enacting Lolth's will, partake in surface raids, and kill any of Lolth's enemies. There was very little room for her to achieve what she wanted, because Lolth had to come first. And even if there were things she wanted for herself, they still ultimately had to please Lolth in the end. Her time in the Absolute is no different. She just swaps the Absolute for Lolth and keeps up with the same shit (although she is too brainwashed to tell). So of course she is stunned when Lolth abandons her and the Absolute attempts to kill her and throws her deep into a crisis of faith. 200+ years of service has always bought her safety, until it didn't. So when you come along, she just swaps you for the Absolute. Telling herself, "I just need to be better than I was for the Absolute, better than I was for Lolth, and I should be okay." And her little rant about the gods, Lolth, Bhaal, the Absolute. Minthara is not anti-god. Minthara is anti-gods who do not reward their followers for their service. Because to her, service should be rewarded with something (other than death). She plays both sides when it comes to Shar because although she does think Shar is a poison in Shadowheart's life and believes Shadowheart is better off without Shar, at least Shar did reward Shadowheart for her service by making her a Dark Justiciar and elevating her to Chosen.
You would think she'd learn, but she doesn't. Not because she's stupid, but because her basic need for safety isn't being met. And so be fair, her "mistakes" with Lolth and the Absolute were relatively recent. So she keeps pushing people down the path of ruin and never going down the path herself directly, thinking that if she helps you become powerful, she will be safe. Where if she stands beside as you walk down this path, you will reward her for her service. Where she does not believe you would betray her because she helped you get that power. Where she thinks her service to you should buy her safety. Because to her, the most important thing she can be to you is useful. And she is terrified of being useless. So she provides you with unbreakable loyalty, devotion, and servitude, (and perhaps love). Where she will help you achieve your ambitions, whether it be to become a Dark Justiciar, the Vampire Ascended, the Slayer, or a god. Her path to safety, and greatness, and true power is forever lost to her down in the Underdark. So all she can do is help you walk down yours.
She keeps doing the same stupid shit over and over, making the same mistakes with people over and over, cause her fundamental need to safety is never being satisfied. And her service to various gods and entities technically did buy her safety, but only for an unknown period of time. And when she loses that safety, she thinks that the problem is her. That she was punished because she was not a good enough servant. That if she was a truly good servant, she won't lose your safety and your protection. And she thinks love interferes with your perception of her as a servant. She wants you to see her as a loyal servant first, lover second, because the only things in her life to be truly rewarded was her service, whereas her love got punished.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#it seems like the endings where she is truly doing things for herself is the underdark and baldur's gate ending#but she doesn't seem particularly happy with her underdark ending as she is very much afraid that she is going to die and is going insane#i adore the avernus ending with karlach - but she is going to avernus *for* karlach#but karlach is especially unique because karlach does not have a power grab related theme to her story#and karlach doesn't particularly seem to care about power or achieving power#so her doing stuff *for* karlach is also a choice she is making for herself as going to avernus is not to make karlach more powerful#but to keep her alive#her being a paladin also means she will innately be in service of someone else or do things on the behalf of someone else#and a lot of paladin oaths seem to break the moment the paladin puts their own goals and ambitions above their oaths#and even she feels a sense of freedom if she becomes an oath breaker and prefers being one#minthara only starts putting herself first after you show her that she can - and that it isn't so scary#that eternal servitude is not a requirement for safety and affection#and it becomes clear that her sticking by your side in the end - even when you reject power - is no longer to seek the need of safety#but because she genuinely does love you even if you are not as powerful as you could be
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geralt "i will NEVER deadname my best friend" of rivia
"he will ALWAYS be dandelion to ME"
#also 'including milva in male costume' goes SOOO HARDDD#everyone say thank you regis for citing a dozen precedents to pull that off. the effect of knowing your herstory <3#c: geralt#s: i want to be by your side#geralt is like the reverse situation of a transphobe who 'has known you for 20 years so he can't call you something else now'#it's that he has known dandelion for so long that he can't call him anything else but his STAGE / CHOSEN NAME :')#the 'viscount dandelion' is so funny to me#i can accept that he's a viscount but I DRAW THE LINE at calling him by his birth name#milva: 'you can accept that he's a viscount??'#also it's lost in english but that his stage name and birth name begin with the same letter & thus sound. jaskier... julian...#not the 'chosen name starts with the same letter as the birth name' stereotype. and swag#the witcher books#book: lady of the lake#excerpt#one thousand million years ago in posada:#dandelion: 'don't you want to know my name' | geralt: 'but i already know your name. it's dandelion'#dandelion: 'but it's not my real name. don't you want to know my real and famous name' | geralt: 'not particularly'#geralt has the same relationship to dandelion's birth name and viscount status as dandelion has to kaer morhen 💀#geralt and dandelion are like i don't care who you were back then i cannot comprehend your sad backstory all i care is about who you are no#i think this kind of friendship helped them both slightly detach from their exaggerated levels of perceived self-importance#geralt from his 'woe is me i will never be seen as a normal man' and dandelion from 'im the most interesting man in this tavern'#only SLIGHTLY detach. when they're around each other they temper expectations. but when they're apart it grows back
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this was actually so SICK-
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#bridgerton spoilers#polin#colin bridgerton#penelope bridgerton#penelope featherington#THEY WEREN’T PARTICULARLY ON GOOD TERMS AND STILL#THE WHOLE WORLD VANISHED WHEN THEY WERE DANCING ON THEIR WEDDING DAY#BECAUSE THAT’S ALL THEY CARE ABOUT#NO ONE ELSE MATTERS#JUST THEM
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i kinda hoped this blog would be about the other cole ships as well and not just one of them
I really don't know what to tell you man
#i could prolly argue abt the fact that this is not a ship blog#i made this specifically in opposition to the whole#'savemyboycole phenomena' and ppl specifically attacking#geode for being the one ship that actually has the potential#to make Cole canonically gay#but tbh i just. don't particularly care to#this is my blog. i made this for my own entertainment#i put onto it whatever i want#'i wanted this blog to be smth else than it is' ok? cool?#good for u ig?#you can literally always just click off my blog if you don't like it#block me even if i annoy you#im not mad tho you made me figure out how to use picmix#really i should be thanking you#cw flashing#cw flickering
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MY KING
(source)
#THE CONSULTING CRIMINAL !#in truth he is just incredibly bored; he ascended to such heights of understanding of pure mathematics#that it was said that no man in the scientific press was capable of even critizing it#he is like a mirror to h.olmes in a way; bc just like him; h.olmes is also driven by a deep desire to keep a stimulated mind; why does he d#-do his job as detective? because he is bored. (and arguably amongst other things)#and why was m.oriarty; who has at the same level of intellect as sherlock drawn to him?#bc he was bored. bc no one could reach to the soles of his feet; but -this- peculiar detective.#so its basically like;; everything he does is a big game of chess he plays against h.olmes to k.ill boredom#he doesnt particularly thrive in violence and such either; its exciting when it shows results; when it crumbles h.olmes' calmness#h.olmes wants to solve all crimes; but then u have m.oriarty making it even more difficult for sherlock to do so#he's not even doing it for the sake of being evil; he just wants to face him bc he believes he is the only man whom he could face at#ground level#and thats fascinating to him#thats exciting#he thrives in that intellectual challenge#and as sherlock has taken the righteous path; the he gets to naturally take the other chip; through evil#but his type of evil if the type where he doesn't really care about others? not necessarily at least#he'll move any pawn so long it can make him come closer to his goals (which is pretty evil)#he doesnt 'enjoy' violence; he doesnt thrive in seeing people suffer#to him; its just collateral dmg; so as i said; its a particular type of evil#THE POINT IS;; both are motivated by the same goal ; to solve problems#its just that moriarty solved everything and then? there was nothing else to do#but then theres -this- guy that keeps getting enrichment#and what else could he possibly come up with to vanish his boredom? go against him; its logical#challenge him on his very own field. what will you do this time then?#you've had it easy all this time; let's put the stakes higher h.olmes#;headcanons#headcanons#;m.oriarty#i could talk a lot more but tags-
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mdarc chapter 4 spoilers (tw negative)
i'm a couple of doors into the mystery labyrinth, and it's getting a little annoying having shinigami and yuma go "but how could this have happened? who could have done this?" when i literally knew it was yakou as soon as the game told me that the poison had a delay. this is so silly like "how could anyone have got past this, they would have died in thirty minutes!" ok! narrow your suspect pool to people who die in the next thirty minutes then! damn!!!
#mdarc#rain code#little ranty#also i have only just started so if [redacted] isn't the killer then so be it#but i know they are there's no way it's anyone else#vivia having that quiet (more than usual) moment when yuma said the lab is hooked up to a secondary power source that never went down#is so good#i think [redacted] required an accomplice for [last part of their plan] but from that reaction i don't think it's vivia#i think it just got more or less confirmed for him who the killer was#also viv is so interesting to me!!! i was right that he was going to be my favourite#the bold experience machine enjoyer#i find it kind of funny when halara says that he'd be a great detective if he just put in more effort#this isn't some problem of viv not reaching his goals or anything#he is very good at the things he actually likes doing and wants to do#he wants to come up with theories as to how a crime could have been committed#he doesn't particularly care about which one is right#just finding ways around logical constraints#that being said he very much understands that choosing one of those and expressing it will influence the world#which is why he doesn't tend to communicate when he's figured something out#he's more interested in observing what other people do unrestricted by his influence#this is why i think it's really sweet when he threatens to kill yuma (insane sentence)#i have such a soft spot for characters who break their own rules and principle for someone they really care about#and seeing vivia put [redacted] in front of his own happiness and ingrained way of doing things is so humanising#i don't think viv is particularly complex as a character#once you grasp that he genuinely has no regard for what's true and enjoys ambiguity you've can understand him from there#there's this one line where he says 'after all...i'm more interested in the story than the truth...'#but he is my favourite by far#i love how he's straddling the line of philosophical postmodernism and actual psychosis#he's so interesting to me#tw negative
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My FL main went through some really weird, organic development over the...oh god, I think it's been five years since I started playing now.
So my main is named Skadi Larkin. They are a little bastard. They started out extremely 2D; I named them after my favorite Norse goddess and the protagonist of the book I was reading at the time. I originally wanted to make them female like both of their namesakes, but the second I saw the third-gender option, I thought it was too good to pass up. This is where they got their primary base characterization as a mad scientist who wanted to Cause Problems.
Then I started the Nemesis ambition and forgot which option I'd chosen for who I was trying to avenge, so they lost both their lover and their older brother under tragic circumstances (only the lover was killed by Nemesis's antagonist, though).
Then I got an Exceptional Friendship and had to give my tragic backstory in order to gain entry to the House of Chimes. Skadi pulled said tragic backstory (orphaned in a hansom accident) more or less out of their ass, but it did establish that their parents are dead.
Somewhere down the line, I realized that technically Skadi is a linguist, since the Correspondence is a language, and I made that their profession on the Surface as well.
Around this time, I started working on character designs for my fan comic. I got really into messing around with skin tone, and somewhere along the line thought it would be fun to draw Skadi (who was originally white) with darker skin, and it stuck.
Then I abruptly realized I was taking a lot of options that increased my Melancholy, and almost all of them were based on the Surface. So now Skadi has a longing for the Surface.
I left the game for a few years, but somewhere during this stretch of time, and I don't know how this happened, but I decided Skadi was now Native American; specifically, Metis. I changed their design to incorporate a sash woven in a style characteristic of the Metis, which also added a bit of color to their design (which was mostly black or grey at this point).
During this time, I started incorporating Skadi into my fan comic. This would eventually lead me to actually flesh out their backstory in greater detail. When I started playing the game again, I also created my first alt by total accident (long story), and I decided to weave her backstory with Skadi's.
So Skadi is in the interesting position of being an Indigenous person who is what we'd probably consider Two-Spirit today but they'd just call "Bollocks to that gender crap". They never belonged on the Surface, since the Metis are in a bit of a liminal space compared to other tribes due to their interesting background (the Metis are the descendants of French settlers and Indigenous inhabitants, mostly Cree), and Skadi exists in a liminal space within that liminal space due to only being half-Metis and raised primarily in white culture, although they still maintained a connection to it through their late mother. They also never belonged because no one else on the Surface outside of the communities they already felt isolated from would ever accept them for their gender. London gave them a chance to express one of those, but not both, and despite knowing that the Surface hates them just for existing, they still long to return.
#fallen london#fallen london oc#mild fallen london spoilers ig#there's a really interesting dichotomy with all of my fl characters honestly#skadi's is just probably the most blatant#umbra belacqua (my shadowy alt) is someone who both loves very fiercely and is capable of immense cruelty at the same time#in her backstory she had the husband of her ex-fiancee (who left her at the altar) murdered because she couldn't let go of her ex's betraya#said ex is my persuasive alt and is both very socially gregarious and extremely withdrawn#he probably won't ever get a spouse just because he can't bring himself to love someone else after what happened the last time#and he had very good reason for leaving umbra because he could never love her the way she wanted#and he felt that the sympathy she would receive from his family would more than make up for the heartbreak#since umbra is obsessed with gaining power and prestige and he came from an influential family#and knew that running away with the person he really loved would get him disowned#(he doesn't know umbra killed his husband btw)#my dangerous alt is my persuasive alt's sister#she's trans and badly overcompensating for it by refusing to wear anything except feminine clothing#because it hasn't quite gotten through to her yet that no one in Fallen London particularly cares about her gender expression#and she feels like the only way she can be seriously considered a woman is if she does everything she can to look like one#which causes her a good few problems because her one true passion is violence and that's not usually considered a very feminine hobby#then their younger brother (my watchful alt) is someone ironically very disinclined to violence who resorts to it anyways#the only people he's actually going to try to kill are the ones he has to kill for his ambition#and he's not very happy about it but he doesn't have much of a choice#because while he might not like bloodshed his murdered spouse was an anarchist who definitely did#and he's determined to do right by his memory by...killing a lot of people apparently#he is not a terribly mentally stable man and when i finally get around to making his account#he's going to have a massive nightmares problem that he refuses to deal with and keeps ending up in the royal beth for it#tl;dr all my fallen london characters are going through it and have overly long and complicated backstories#my main just happens to have the most overly long and complicated of them all
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(homestuck specifically does not count here because its too popular and would break the intent of this question. I dont care if you read homestuck. Pretend it doesn't exist for the purposes of this question)
#God I genuinely hope nobody adds a longwinded list of recommendations to this post. I'm just trying to check if I'm insane#mypost#The intent of this question being trying to see if my thought that nobody reads these is justified at all.#Not meant disparagingly to the medium really. Its just that it kind of seems like everyone keeps trying to make one but nobody reads them.#Or maybe that's just my own personal problem and very limited amount of people i know.#Ive had like at least 2-3 major ''tried to make comic and failed'' incidents in the past (when i was like 15 you don't remember them.)#without having actually particularly read or cared about anyone else's. i feel like this may be strange to have done several times.#it is only a very recent development that i am even keeping up with a comic at all and its still just one...#and that was kind of because it was started by a person i was already following beforehand#so it kind of would have showed up in front of me either way.
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hi ok unpopular thought but you can tell when a cis/het person is playing a queer character because they always prioritize the queerness of their character over anything else
#like were in the middle of urinetown auditions#and this guy is auditioning for barrell#and i am too#and now i dont particularly care#like none of this is to say that his or anyone else's performance is bad or lesser than#but barrell is gay and like you can tell watching this kid perform that that fact is at the forefront of his mind#we were talking abt it later and he was like “yeah your barrell was like really snarky” and im like YEAH bro he kills ppl for a living#like hes not walking around constantly thinking about how hes gay#no gay person walks around fronting the fact that theyre gay#like i dont go to the mall thinking 'i am gay and going to the mall' dude no i just go to the fucking mall#i have a love hate relationship with cis/het performers who play queer characters because you could pull it off???#but youre lacking the subtleties#youre lacking the timing of when these things actually come into play#and again i really do hope this dude the best like honest to god if he gets the part thats great and i know he'll get there like i am#not the one directing this show and i trust the director completely#and im just using that as an example#but you see it in other things too#you can see it in good omens 2 and the danish girl and call me by your name#now compare it to something like cabaret and alan cummings portrayal of emcee#and you can tell theres a level of understanding there thats lacking in the other ones. our flag means death is also another really good#example. while rhys darby and taika waititi arent gay david jenkins is and it comes across in his writing that this is someone who#understands the queer experience and writes in a way that makes it possible for cis/het performers to understand what theyre playing with#turnip rants#delete later probably#all opinions and statements are my own we can coexist
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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical
when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....
#snap chats#please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago#what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did#they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back#moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u#but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so#the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other#on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare#not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other#as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look#again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent#the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry#idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual#OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato#cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry#but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki#like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato#he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA#he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical#i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv#at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK#but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep#ima go bye
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there's something about lu, in terms of being an individual with layers and layers of masks, that makes me really sad because the thing with most people with masks is that there's usually something underneath it. her? not really. to elaborate. we understand fundamentally the concept of no one's ever born bad, but simultaneously, nobody's born good either, because you haven't even done anything as a child. you just ... were. this puts lu in a rather strange position where, at least in dc, when raised as a person and eventually evaluated psychologically, the psychiatrists concluded that she just is. no good, no bad, no real sense of self—merely a mimicry of the toddlers all around her. not particularly happy or upset about anything. her sense of self and personality doesn't develop after years and years of effort from her family and friends. even then, there's always something a bit more hollow about her. less human and more beast, more feral, not fully understanding humanity and what all it entails, including emotions. she'll play the part required, sure, but she won't be able to tell you what she is if you ask. she'd like someone else to tell her one day. still not too sure if she wants to hear that answer, though.
#i think deep down she understand she's not really like the others in that sense. the empathy that's a bit behind#and there's a reason why where. and someone should hold me at gunpoint to write it out. in some universes i depict her as a beast#not dog not cat just a straight up beast who doesn't really? understand? humanity? emotions? what is that#she learns from those around her. particularly more malleable than anything else#and as quick to disregard what she believes in for her loved ones#but not everybody will be happy with that#she's aware of it. if there's anything she hates the most it's scaring people away with her real nature#something something a beast will tame herself for the sake of her loved ones#yeah i'll cry about it#❮❮ * lilith ate the bones of her own enemies. (headcanon.)#somebody should send me an ask or something telling lu they care about her for all she is and watch how hard i can write about it#... if you read all the way down here. why are you still here. im so sorry for this fucking essay i'm just EMO#but really i dare you. do it#why are the tags longer than the post bye
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Granted I have the overall geographical and cultural knowledge of a 4th grader but from what I can tell the nuclear family model really does seem to be a white colonial invention
Different cultures have different approaches but I mainly hear about either large family units where multiple generations support each other and raise their children and grandchildren together or an "it takes a village" approach where children are raised somewhat communally
And I can't really speak on it much or claim that these families were free of abuse or that children aren't often an oppressed group basically everywhere I know of but the way ownership of your children is so engrained into white society is so bizarre
Like once you notice it you can't unnotice it even the most loving well meaning parents don't know what to do about it because everyone is so isolated from their own families and their own communities so you wind up with 1-2 parents who have full legal ownership of their child and are raised in a culture where you don't have personhood until you're 18 and all attempts at self actualization before them are seen as clueless rebellion. Like our culture is so divorced from the concept that a parent is someone who is helping mentor and care for their child so they can thrive as a fellow human being and it's actually so alarming
And ik this problem isn't unique to white and colonized people but it's honestly really soothing to hear about how other cultures approach and view parenting and community as a whole and to internalize it doesn't have to be this way
#like i was reading a book by Sabaa Tahir who's Pakistani#and the perspective on parenthood portrayed in it so healing#like when Salahuddin mentions that his mom taught him not to thank his parents growing up#''Ama taught me that saying thank you to your own parents is unnecessary. Akin to thanking your lungs for breathing. The times I tried#she looked at me like I’d rejected Saturday-morning paratha.''#and like obviously the idea isn't that your kids should be ungrateful im assuming that it's their behavior and overall respect thats thanks#but as someone who was raised thanking everyone for everything especially my parents no matter what it really stood out bc even little stuff#like that can make a huge difference yk? since I can remember white adults particularly my parents taught me i was a burden#and that their taking care of me was an act of kindness rather than a responsibility and I don't think it's some big conspiracy to make kids#feel horrible but it's not really teaching gratitude it's just teaching guilt#thats just one example tho#I also am at the extreme end of white cultural isolation (neither of my parents are close to their families we've never lived near them and#they specifically isolate us from everyone so the difference is a lot more drastic for me than it probably is a lot of other people#but when i hear ppl being close to their neighbors or anyone that lives near them i go a little insane with longing tbh#like what is that like? to grow up in an environment where your world is more than just your parents approval?#where there's some kind of insulation between you and all of your parents problems bc there is no one else#this was not a ramble with any kind of conclusion tho akehrjdhr#and once again I am absolutely not saying that child abuse is uniquely white bc. el em ey oh thats not how any of this works#it's just that white cultures view on children is sickening
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Something real to me immediately post-Voyager is that both Tuvok and Janeway are looking around at their crew like “God...these poor folks are not dealing with this transition well...” in an earnest but also slightly condescending way (as they are prone towards thinking of themselves as examples to be followed and somewhat superior to others, even if that isn’t the language they’d use/how they’d understand themselves) but in reality they are also dealing with it extremely and visibly poorly and are thus unable to help literally anyone and everyone who sees them is like “You guys don’t seem to be doing well” but this flies over their heads or they think to themselves, shaking their heads sadly, ‘this poor bastard...trying to say that I need help when they’re obviously the ones suffering...thank God I don’t have any problems.’
#Janeway seems like she'd earnestly want to help everyone post-Voyager#Like she'd call them and want to meet up and try to keep everyone together/keep tabs on them as best she could#Tuvok would not do this v_v#I also like the idea of others thinking that Tuvok is probably the most well adjusted but other Vulcans immediately are like 'this man has#problems. this man has so many issues. your mind is like swiss cheese.'#Janeway & Tuvok: we're the only normal people here dear friend... <- deeply traumatized and a bit insane just like everyone else on Voyager#Just wait until one of them betrays the other by suggesting maybe they're NOT as well adjusted and normal as they claim...the infighting....#I will die on the hill that Janeway & Tuvok get along so partially because they both are a little bit egotistical...mildly insufferable#<- this does not negate the fact that they are good people who earnestly care about others#I also laugh at people who think Tuvok is in any way good at talking to others...he fails at it literally every time#remember when Chakotay told him to help B'Elanna calm down and he immediately bullied her without hesitation???#remember when Harry told him he had a crush on a hologram and Tuvok told him 'stop that' before immediately forming a friendship with said#hologram??#Remember when he tried to talk with that Maquis guy and immediately got BODIED ?? Deservedly so?? HEHEHE#The only times I can remember him actually succeeding in such encounters is when he's talking about his children#<- with Samantha Wildman / Tom Paris / Neelix#Meanwhile Janeway's out here giving mommy issues to everyone she so much as looks at. Janeway's like is a mom was a disappointed dad whose#expectations you have to live up to or she's gonna be so incredibly either pissed or sad (Harry Kim knows that Seven knows that B'Elanna#lives in fear of that)#Tuvok is not necessarily a good mentor figure (nor does he seek to be) or particularly wise...h e is just a normal person.#Janeway is a captain so she is a better mentor figure but she also seems to at first struggle with how close she should be with her crew#which eventually slips into Way Too Close (necessary for Delta Quadrant but once they return home...)#I just like them both so much and I wish we got more with their friendship#Janeway & Tuvok are people who believe in and identify strongly with their moral principles and thus those who fall short of them fall short#of...hmm personhood? 'humanity' ??#If you break Starfleet code you are not only not a good officer but perhaps a terrible person#Janeway's rage at the Equinox crew being centered VERY INTERESTINGLY /genuine NOT around the fact that they tortured and killed aliens/ppl#but the fact that they are not in line with Starfleet...they wear the uniform but don't follow the code. Absolutely unacceptable#to Janeway.#Tuvok also seems like the sort of person who would harshly judge other Vulcans in the same way..to ME.
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one of the things that particularly pisses me off about art discussions, either in how nowadays everything has to aim for more and more realism in art styles and even live action to be seen as "real art", and in dismissing more abstract styles of artwork as not "real art" and having no inherent worth, is that they explicitly do not consider realism an art style either. to them, realism is just a given of "good" art, not chosen but rather just default. which i hate, because you CAN pick realism as an intentional style and a purposeful choice to suit a narrative, and all this results in is no one noticing or understanding why you made that choice or why that choice works better than any other possible choice to tell the story you want to tell.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#like i like realism because i have a heavy focus on anatomy as a theme#on the body as something innately complex and with a lot of feelings to have about it in all its messy ugly states#im interested in all the complex ways the body intersects with its environment and with culture and with other people#as the outside as contrasting the inside or serving as a strange reflection of it#like im kind of going for a lot of merfolk designs to not be particularly visually different from each other#they have incredibly similar silhouettes and thats on purpose#i want all of their differences and visual traits to be things that they would find more prominent#but we would struggle to pick apart without learning about them deeper and committing these to knowledge#because thats so much been my experience with trying to tell different individuals of the same species of wild animal apart#and i want to use that as a lens to then discuss how humans would then interact with an entirely different sapient species#and what happens when you are someone who experiences that#of someone else not recognizing you as individuals like you do each other#of them not even trying to adapt or learn your differences#what damage it does when this happens to you#and how much the world opens up when someone actually does learn these little differences#but of course#no one else recognizes this because everyone just thinks realism is the default#realism cannot be a purposeful choice done for a reason#realism is just What You Are Supposed To Do and Unevocative Of Deeper Meaning
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