#no one come for me for not actually knowing furry history this is just for the funny

[marbleluvrofliberty]

i can’t believe inspector javert pioneered being a furry

[dinogoofymutated]

Okay so like,,,,I usually never make requests (I’m a lurker fr fr) but your writing Is god tier, so I gotta ask:

Could you do a fic for Hank/Beast? He’s my personal fave but I never see any content for him ever, like the fic scene for this man is a ghost town. he’s underrated as hell. My man is ripped, highly intelligent and respectful of the arts! Yet he doesn’t get any attention.

I would love to see some general headcanons (SFW & NSFW) if you’re up to it. no problem if you don’t write for him or something, I just thought i would ask.

Thanks!

SFW!Beast/GN!Reader

To be honest, I actually wasn't really sure about writing for Hank at first because I've never really had a connection to the character, but he grew on me!! Plus, I'm here to serve lolol we've been starved of fics as a Fandom for basically forever and it would be a disservice not to fill the Hank void out there! Hope it's okay that I only wrote Sfw headcannons, I have a separate req for NSFW for him so I decided to split it into two to save my sanity lol. Finals are gonna be hell for me.

-ps- Should I be writing right now? no. Am I doing it anyway? Yurp. Also, I'm basing his history off of the fandom wiki, so I'm sorry if anything is off.

Tws: none that I can think of atm. As always, reader written while picturing fem but no pronouns mentioned.

Hank, despite what some would think, was most definitely a heartthrob, particularly in his college days!! I mean, a man who's confident, smart, respectful, and also an athlete? Who wouldn't swoon? He was 110% the guy that everyone wanted to take home to their parents.

And He's such a sweet, attentive lover too!! Acts of service almost definitely is a love language for him. He cooks for you, fixes the broken things that you didn't even realize were broken, even organizes your notes before a difficult exam.

He loves to surprise you with flowers, even if it isn't any special occasion, and if you ask, he'll help you preserve them as well!

He loves to kiss your forehead, temples, and hands. On top of that, he's very touchy. The two of you were most definitely seen as the parents of any friend group.

Things changed a little after he took the serum that mutated him further. His confidence had taken a blow, and he just didn't quite know how to approach you anymore.

It took a hot minute to reassure him that you didn't really care if he was blue, or furry, or beastly, he was still Hank Mccoy, wasn't he? He was the man you were in love with, and you certainly weren't going to stop now. Besides, you still thought he was handsome. With the kinds of books he's seen you read, you're a bit surprised that he didn't think you would find him attractive.

Things gradually got back to normal, but for a while, he didn't kiss you as often as he used to. Well, he didn't kiss you period. Even though he knew the incredible extent to which you loved him, the shape of his mouth had changed. Hell, he had fangs that he would rather die than mark you with.

You practically had to tie him down into a contract to get him to kiss you again. He was always one to experiment, why not treat this the same? If you kiss, and it goes well, you do it again. If it goes well a second time and a third, you have a pretty reliable test. Validity shouldn't matter when he knew that you loved him to bits already.

He felt like he was falling in love with you all over again, and yet he still hesitated. It wasn't until you had grabbed him by the collar to drag him into a kiss that he actually relaxed, and what do you know, it was a pretty reliable test after all. A predictive one too, with how often you continued to kiss him afterwards.

Domestic was the best way to describe your relationship with Hank.

    You yawned as you made your way down to the lab, still in your pajamas and slippers. Just a few hours previously, after a shower and self-care routine, you had settled into bed with an eyebrow-raising book as you waited for your husband to come to bed. This was a normal routine for the two of you, you immersing yourself into a book to stay awake until Hank entered, kissed your temple sweetly, and began his own nightly routine. It was a set of events you were used to. 

    Today, however, you felt like you had done a lot more reading than usual. When you finally pulled yourself out of your book and checked the time, the clock by your bed read 11 pm. A rather late time for Hank to be out, but you already knew where he would be. The lower levels of the mansion were extra cold at night, and you find yourself rubbing some warmth into your arms as you approach the lab. 

    The doors open with a swish, the light of the lab having all been darkened exempt for the lamp on Hank’s desk. He’s so immersed in what he’s doing that he doesn’t even realize when you come in. You walk up behind his chair, running your hands through his hair softly when you reach him.

    Hank isn’t surprised, sighing at the pleasant sensation as he tips his head back to encourage you. You giggle a little, leaning down to press a kiss to his head as you begin to massage his scalp.

    “It’s late.” You say gently. Hank hums in response, eyes closed as he appreciates your touch. 

    “I’m sorry, my love. Seems I was a little entranced.” He says. You huff at him playfully.

    “You say entranced, I say you’re overworking yourself. You’ve been working on this project all week. Don’t let it cut into your rest time.” Your scolding always sounded too nice, but he knows you mean it. Hank sighs again, this time sounding a little more tired, but he doesn't argue. He rolls around to face you, pulling you into a tired hug from his chair. 

     “Perhaps it is time I go to bed. What time is it, my dear?” 

    “Eleven.” Hank lets out a quiet chuckle at your quick reply, finally standing up. He doesn’t let go of you however, choosing to rest his head on your shoulder as he sways the two of you back and forth.

    “You’re most certainly right, it is late. Much too late for a man to leave his lovely spouse waiting. Oh, whatever shall I do to make it up to you?.” His words come out as a purr, and you let out a curt laugh at him. You pull away a little, taking his large hands in your own as you lead him to the door. He smiles widely when you stop for a moment, remembering his glasses and placing them on his face before starting to drag him to bed. 

    “I’ll let you decide that, Love. As long as you make it to bed, that’s apology enough for me.”

[letrune]

Why I don't like the "X is perversion"

So, let me give you the short version. I am a polyamorous transgender furry woman, likely asexual (jury is still out on that one), coming from Hungary. Every single one of these was called a perversion in one time of history, but especially now, they are treated like being either, like just being a furry, is to be at best ashamed of, and most a reason to isolate people like me from society forever - and that I should be thankful for nobody calling for my extermination at the government levels.

Except, you know. Some do. Some US and Russiand jerks had been calling for building what amounts to be gulags for being queer and furry and foreigner, and stuff people in for that alone; simply because "you are a pervert and want to harm the women and children because you are queer or a furry".

So... What do these people actually think? Someone likimg cartoonish anthro characters is to be throw into prison? Asexuals to be throw in some cell in a panopticon? Asexuals to be sent to a forced labour camp? All of us to shut up forever and never even peep online?

Because I heard thrse proposals and yes, actual ideas on how to exterminate us. To have death squads like it's Pol Pot's Cambodia. To round furries up and shoot them. To break into homes in the middle of night and drag people away for public executions. You know, this is like "let us murder anyone who likes Star Trek!".

Back in 2017 if I recall correctly, maybe 2016, I was at a protest. LGBTQ+ people wished to be tteated equally. A man from the government came over and told us: "Come on. Stop it. Be happy you are not shot into the Danube.", which is like telling anyone wishing queer equity "be happy you are not sent to Dachau.". That same sort of "just shut up and be happy we are not murder you, secondary citizens" attitude came out again a lot of time.

Furries who want to claim being a furry is inherently perverted, some queer people wanting to throw the rest under the bus to secure themselves some secondary citizen rank, and so much more...

Just feels like these people want to go "please Mr. Government, let me kill people you don't like as long as I can keep my life, I am happy to be beaten up if I step out of line but please do not hurt me, I am willing to beat others up, please just spare me". You know, quislings. People who happily handed out blindfolds and then realised there was one for themselves and got pushed to the wall too. People who happily rounded up others to be shot into the Danube, or stuffed into a cornhopper to Dachau, or called the secret police on.

This puritanical "destroy them, because being X is perverted" is obvious when you consider that they said the same of homosexuality, trans people, furries and asexuals. That they are inherently a danger and should be removed from society, any means necessary, just like how they also wanted to remove people of other countries, religions and skin colour.

These people are a danger to society and themselves, as they want others dead for simply existing. They want everyone else to fall in line to some cis-het-compulsory, patriarchal, no-creativity allowed, it-is-all-about-me world.

Furries and being queer predate agriculture. Being a xenophobe is relatively new, especially xenophobes who think the only solution is "kill anyone in this group".

[weirdmageddon]

I'm taking the plunge because why not:

What are some headcanons regarding small, silly things that happened during the 3 year trips on the Golden Yard and Meteor?

oh lets go i love this sort of ask. no meteor crew stuff sorry im kinda tired but

on the prospitian ship:

the crocodiles are never recovering from that shit bro. un-stonks

alchemizing sessions. probably with mundane household devices like toothbrushes or something. patterned toilet paper. davesprite absolutely remakes the sbahjifier for himself but i think he also likes to hand draw them from time to time. also john and jade alchemizing bathing suits and going swimming on lolar and hanging with the turtles. casey can come too. floaties on casey

the sbahj canon diverges. so many sbahj in-jokes exclusive to the prospitian ship. unfortunately the retcon make it so none of this ever happens :(

he’d never say it but davesprite likes it when john and jade fall asleep on him doing whatever, it makes his presence feel wanted and appreciated by the people he sacrificed his self and humanhood for good for. sorry for immediately going into davesprite but good god is he tragic. oh yeah heres more. he’s still part dave and shares the same history with john and jade that alpha timeline dave does. john gave him his shades on his 13th birthday in december 2008, he sent john the con air bunny and jade a physical copy of sbahj as furries in the mail. he is identical to alpha dave in relation to his friends before the timeline splits off. dont forget that 4/13/2009 was also his first time meeting his online friends john and jade in person, even after 4 months chronologically of sburb grinding—nearly a year with all the time shenanigans—and going back to day 1, since john and jade were dead in his timeline

tries not to cry cries anyway but only when he knows theyre asleep. pov when the weight of everything suddenly hits you (you are an emotionally repressed 14 year old)

also because he’s fucking fluffy and absolutely knows it and probably thinks to himself “yeah this is the best possible use for these otherwise pointless breast feathers” and yall already know he craves cloth mother plus probably has nesting instincts

(source)

adding on to that also i think people forget sprites are actually fucking LONG and his wingspan is fucking huge he could be a pillow and a blanket at the same time

i wrote davesprite jade cuddles and john thinking about mushrooms and davesprite thinking about how they contribute to the ecnonony

^ john toked too hard on the lowas mushrooms by accident one time

it feels like pajama parties would be a common occurence just the vibes im getting. literally jade is seen sitting on a pile of squiddles and theres plushies fucking everywhere you know they got up to plushie mayhem. do you think they ever alchemized them. look how lived in that room is they all contributed something

jade resumes gardening :) but theres no sun :( but she alchemizes some plastic plants :D but its not the same :(

canonically the imps in johns house just gave up tormenting him and started hanging out and having snacks on movie night

PENIS!

imagine looking up into the sky and seeing a giant casey the size of a planet sleep. jade resizes stuff for fun like this just to introduce some novelty to their lives

this is something

davesprite has beavis and butthead do america (1996) in his collection somewhere in his apartment on lohac

yall theyre watching johns fuckin spongebob dvd box collection. you KNOW john owns the spongebob squarepants movie (2004). and the best thing is it brings all of them together without any of them objecting. they all love spongebob

when the episode jellyfish jam comes on johns like “wow, pretty much this exact scenario happened to me with the imps.” (arthur flashback sfx)

DAVESPRITE: yeah well you didnt have a giant sound system did you

jade warps dave’s bro’s sound system from lohac and sizes it up. they put on stadium rave and the entire fucking house shakes

[dessertpanda]

Goku x Vegetas Daughter

"Y/N" Trunks called out into the forest where his elder sister was busy training. "You sure she's here Trunks?" Goten asked also in search of his sister figure "KAHMEHAMEHAAA" there was a yell off in the distance and a large blast followed "FOUND HER" both boys perked up at the sound. They where quick to take off into the air following the destruction that was left behind. "Okay that was awesome, but you have to make sure you use you hips more when you send it" The boys landed next to her and Goten's father. "Ah dad, what are you guys doing?" Goten asked with Goku standing there with his hands on Y/N's hips showing her the movement he wanted her to do. "Oh Goten, Trunks Hey guys" Goku smiled brightly and released Y/N hips. "I was showing Y/N how to get more power behind her Kahmehamha" Y/N stood straight and looked up at Goku. "Thanks for the training session, Dad refuses to help me with my form" She said bowing in thanks. "It's not a problem at all, always a pleasure when it's just the two of us" Goku brought her into a side hug, his arm slung over her shoulder.  "Oh yeah, Mom said the feast is ready, she said we're just waiting on you Goku" Trunks remembering as to why they where there. "OH YEAH, I'm starving, come on Y/N we better not keep them waiting" Goku was already in the air the two youngsters following suit. "Oh um a-actually, Mom said she doesn't want to see Y/N right now" Trunks frowned as he told his sister what their mother had said "WHAT but Y/N had a full day of training and she's hungryyyyy" Goku wined at the information. "Dad maybe it's best if we leave her, m-mom not happy you've been spending so much time with her either" Goten said. He was trying to keep his farther out of the dog house. "but, Y/N, are you?" Goku was so sad, Him and Y/N where like best friends, they battled, hangout, and even took the boys training together all the time "Oh it's okay Goku, go eat I'm sure you're hungry. Plus I'm um mm Fasting thats right, a cleanse" She lied, she knew he would offer to stay or bring her food but that would only get him in trouble with his Wife. "You sure, I could" "No no go enjoy, I'll be here like always" she smiled and ushered them to leave. "Well okay, I guess we better go then" and with that the boys took off heading towards Collapse corp.  "Dad you have to stop running off with Y/N" Goten complained " Yeah Goku, Mrs.ChiChi thinks you're cheating with my sister" Trunks complainant as he circled to the other side of Goten. "WHAT, that's insane, sure Y/N is sweet and really pretty and a great fighter but I love ChiChi, it's just nice having someone to hang with that can match my energy" Goku confessed while looking back "She makes me feel normal, you know?" He look back forward. "I get it dad we love Y/N too but nobody else does" Goten felt so sad whenever discussing her. "But i just don't understand, She kind, smart, powerful, and just perfect" Trunks defended his sister. "I agree Trunks, there has to be more to her and Vegeta's history then what we have been told" Goku face changed to one of determination "and I think we need to find out" "Yeah, lets do it" the boys where more than excited to find out why their beloved sister was hated so much. "I thinks we've been left out of the loop and I want in" Goku said "ALRIGHT OPERATION UNCOVER IS A GO" Trunks cheered before they began their decent to the ground. 

"GOKU WERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" Goku was already saddened by his wife's voice. "AHAH ChiChi hey, I've just been training with Y/N" Goku said a light sweat forming. "WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT THAT BITCH" Chichi ignited with straight furry. "She's a whore who just wants in your pants" she glared at Goku, If only looks could kill. "HEY, DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT MY SISTER" Trunks desperately wanted to defend his sister but he was never allowed to. "TRUNKS" Bulma holler walking in with Vegeta "What have I said about calling that THING you sister" Vegeta scolded him. "I,- DAD SHE'S YOUR KID" Trunks was almost in tears "He's right Mr.Vegeta" Goten intervened "Goten, shush" ChiChi was quick to silence him. The boys always argurded about Y/N especially Trunks, He loved her deeply but today a new voice intervened.  "You know Vegeta, I've always wondered how Y/N came to be" Goku pushed the conversation on. "I've already told ya, She was a Fling back when I was working with Frieza" "Right but that doesn't explain why you hate her" Gohan was now involved. He had always been fawn of the girl, but his mother had forbidden him from talking with her as they grew up. "I never asked for her, she nothing but a burden that is utterly useless to me" Vegeta set the cup he was holding down. "Plus she's far to weak to actually be my child" he had a smug look on his face. "Naw I don't think so Vegeta, She's really strong. I've seen it myself" Goku was determined to defend her as much as he could "ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR KAKAROT?" Now Vegeta was enraged. So Bulma stepped in "Now boys please, Goku you know we don't accept Y/N because she is nothing but a danger, and Vegeta said her mother was rather hot headed meaning she could explode at any minute" "But Vegeta's hot headed, why is Y/N any different?" Gohan asked. He has never truly accepted their reasons but he had always respected them being thats how he was raised. "BECAUSE Y/N'S MOTHER WAS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS" Bulma yelled in anger her veins showing and pulsing. "Damn Bulma cool your tits" Goku was surprised by her sudden outburst. "Kakarot just drop it" Vegeta warned. "No" for once Goku was taking his stand. Y/N is very dear to him and He wants to know why they should hate her. "GOKU" ChiChi was surprised by her husbands serious tone. "Kakarot" "Y/N is very dear to me, she's one of my best friends and both her and I deserve an explanation as to why she's hated" Goku was stern with his voice "So do they because they love her" He said pointing to Trunks and Goten. "Kakarot" Vegeta interrupted in a much softer tone. "ARE YOU CHEATING ON CHICHI?" Bulma threw out a rather large accusation "WHAT" "I KNEW IT GOKU, YOU'RE ALWAYS OFF WITH HER" Tears where running down her face it's like the women could cry on command. "TELL ME DO YOU FUCK HER? HUH YOUR BEST FRIENDS KID? DISGUSTING MAN, SHE'S LIKE A CHILD!!" Chichi was balling and hyperventilating. She was angry one second and now shes this. Goku was so confused "WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT?" then it clicked,  Goku was suddenly very aware of what was going on. Bulma and ChiChi were hiding something and they created a scene to cover it up pinning him as the villain. "THAT'S NOT FAIR, ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Goku tried to defend himself but as he looked at his friends for support, all eyes where on him with nothing but hate. "I think, I thinks you've done enough damage" 18 said coming to hold ChiChi.

"What, I-I didn't do" Goku was cut off by a swift punch from Krillin. "Goku, I thought you where better than that". The emotion that Goku felt was so unreal, How could they not even let him defend himself, and even worse think so little of Y/N. "Fine, I'll leave, But don't come calling for me to save you" Goku hovered above the ground doing one last look through the group. He saw a distraught Vegeta, as is he was regretting something. He didn't stick around to listen tho, a quiet goodbye and with that Goku left, flying back to the only comfort he was guaranteed to always have . Y/N. "DAD/GOKU WAIT" the young boys got ready to follow before they where intercepted by their mothers. ChiChi held Goten close crying about how she was betrayed and heart broken and how she needed comfort from her son, her child who she knew loved her. "M-Mom let go, HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT" the sudden energy spike from Goten surprised her and she released. She was expecting him to listen like he always did but he retaliated.  " Y/N is very kind and Dad loves you, H-how could you" Goten had tears in his eyes now, "Come on Trunks let's go" Goten pulled Trunks out of Bulma's grasp. "Trunks you leave, you'll be in deep shit" Vegeta threatened. Trunks looked at his parents right in the eyes and said, "Makes sure it's so deep I'm at the same level as you" They then took off to the sky in pursuit of Goku. 

As Goku landed in the forest, he was quick to start his search. "Y/N" He yelled. He walked aimlessly for a good minute till "You won't find her like that" a voice spoke from behind him "Boys!?" He was surprised to see both Trunks and Goten. "You boys should go home, They hate me, no need for them to hate you too" Goku had a look of utter defeat, like his whole world just came crashing down. Which is kinda did in a sense, Lost his Wife, Home, his friends and all because their was a damn secret that 'had' to be kept. "Dad, w-what happened back their wasn't your fault for once, t-that was just scary" Goten admitted beneath his breath. "Yeah Goku, that wasn't right" For the first time in forever Goku felt like crying. He was genuinely heartbroken. Sure he married ChiChi because she tricked him at first but he came to tolerate her enough to considerate love and he loves their two wonderful kids. Then his best friend that he grew up with, was the one that accused Him of being the cheater. She's known him the longest and to think she thought so little of him "Trunks, d-do you know where Y/N is, I really need her" Goku was so defeated that he was admittedly asking for help, he was on the verge of begging for it. "Y-yeah" Trunks began to lead them. It genuinely scared the boys to see Goku, the worlds savior like that, hollow almost life less. He was stripped of almost all his will to fight, he even left without eating. "She has a house she built, it's huge too" Trunks was almost bragging about it. Making an attempt to brighten the mood "But you need to have a secret code to find it" he walked right up to the mountain wall and began to feel around.

"Trunks?" "FOUND IT" Trunks interrupted Goten. "Dear the gods" he began. "My family is not always my blood," Trunks took a breath "bless the all father, This mask has seen life through death, this is a honor" as he finished the wall began to shake, splitting in the middle and forming into the shape of a door. "Come on, there's not long till it closes" Trunks rushed the other two in after him. "TRUNKS IS THAT YOU?" Y/N voice came from somewhere within the house. "YEAH AND GOTEN AND GOKU" He hollered informing his sis of the extra guests " Ah Goku, Goten, I just finished Dinner" Y/N had came from the stairway down the hall. She was dressed for bed in her Bowser P.J pants and a black tank-top. "Welcome, I could sense you guys, sorry I just got out the shower" She apologized while trying to dry her dripping hair. "Ah it's no problem Y/N, just glad you could have us" Goku smile was back but it wasn't as bright as it usually was. Y/N was quick to notice, and seeing his slight red eyes told her everything she needed to know. "Hey boys, why don't you go set up the guest room, I'm assuming your staying the night?" Y/N knew the answer but she just want confirmation. "Yep, is that okay?" Goten asked while Trunks was already up the stairs. Y/N bent down to Goten height, "Of course baby, go help Trunks tho, sleep over" she did little jazz hands to emphasize her excitement. "THANKS Y/N, I LOVE YOU" Goten was quick to hug her then sprint up the stair in tow of Trunks. Y/N smiled but it faded as she adjusted her view onto the man who had settled in on the couch. "Goku, you okay?" Y/N was caution, this was new territory for her. "Have you ever fucked up so bad that your life fell apart?" Goku voice was nothing more than a whimper. Goku cursing surprised her slightly. "You know I'm a fuck up" Y/N sat next to Goku, opening her arms for him. He was quick to fall into them. "Y/N, tell me, why are you hated?" "I-uh, I really shouldn't say m-my farther will be mad" Y/N had made a promise to keep their history private. Even though he hated her, she still respected him. "Y/N, I-I lost everything..." Goku took a shaky breath in.  Wide eyed Y/n ran her finger through his spiky hair. "Goku, what happened?" her whispered voice sent a calming chill down his spine. "ChiChi and Bulma accused me of cheating with you, and then everyone turned against me. my friends, my wife, my best friend, everyone" Goku finished with a hiccup. He adjusted so he was now laying on her lap "But, why, you do so much for them" She felt tears, did this really happen and why would they turn so fast? "They where mad I was with you, then they stared saying bad things about you, a-and I wanted to defend you but then I asked what happened in your past, that's when it all went down hill" small tears striped down her face. 'did he really risk everything for me?' she thought to herself. She felt horrid, she would hate to lose Goku but if it was his happiness or hers "Goku, I'm not worth your happy life, just apologize and then promise to never see me again, that should fix it" She wanted him to be happy, the people who love her where always suffering because of her. She didn't want that. "Goku you have a wonderful family, wife, friends, if they don't want anything to do with me then leave me, I'm not worth all your happiness" Y/N grew up being told she was worthless, she didn't want Goku to waste his life on her. "You know Y/N thats really selfish of you" He was now staring right at her, feeling her tears drip onto his cheeks fusing with his own, "My life is amazing because you're in it, You're my best friend Y/N, life without you this wouldn't be as fun" He smiled up at her, a real smile. "Oh Goku, you are my best friend too, and I" She was interrupted by the pitter patter of feet running down the stairs. "Y/N, WE FINISHED" Trunks yelled, in search of her, " Yeah can we eat now?" Goten asked finding them sitting on the couch.

"Oh, I'm guessing you told her?" Goten asked seeing both of them crying, he was scared but he did what he felt was right, however "D-Dad, where are we going to live?" Goten had come to that realization while setting up the bed, He didn't want to go back home and he knew they where searching for them. "Umm I'm not sure yet buddy but we'll figure it out" Goku only hoped to calm his poor son who was trapped in the middle of this whole mess. "What do you mean figure it out? The answer seem pretty clear to me" Y/N said removing Goku from her lap and standing to comfort the boy. "Here obviously, I have enough room as long as Trunks is okay with bunking?" She looked over at her brother for approval. "HELL YEAH, I GET AN ACTUAL SIBLING" Trunk would be more than happy to share, especially with Goten. "Goku, you can take my bed tonight since the other room isn't ready yet" Y/N picked both Trunks and Goten up and made her way to the kitchen "No no I'll take the couch, really" Goku was not usually one to give up a good sleep but at the moment he felt like he should. "Goku, my wonderful monkey alien, you have had a long night, please take the bed and rest up" She set the boys down and began to plate their dinner. "Y/N you are to good to us, also I thought you where fasting?" Goku only now realized that she had made a feast. "I uh  Iliedbecuaseiknewyouwouldinsiteonstayingwithme" She said really fast, Goku only being able to catch lie. "really, Y/N?" He had a fake pout. "Oh shush, eat up and then go shower and off to bed" She set the plates on the table and allowed the boy to got to work. "THANKS FOR THE FOOD" they said before digging in.

"Y/N, the waters getting cold" Goten complained from the tub he was sitting in. "That means baths over boys, time to get out" Y/N unplugged the drain and set two towel for the boy on the toilet sink. "okay, dry up, P.J's on then we'll hang and then bed. Deal?" She question while heading out the door. "DEAL" both yelled as the door shut behind her. "Okay boys bathed, me bathed, now to check in on Goku" she made her way towards her bedroom which was currently the temporary home for the hero. "GOKU" she knocked on the door, waiting for a response. "Yeah, come on in" once she got her reply she enterned, and found the man snuggled up in her bed, tucked in nice and cozy. "I see you're comfy" she laughed a little. "Very," he said with a smile " alright get some sleep, I'm gonna put the boys to bed, if you need me I'll be on the couch" She left him quietly and shut the door behind her.

Not to long after that the boys where tucked in their bunks and sound asleep. Y/N settled herself on the couch with a blanket and pillow, slowly drifting into sleep. Being tired from the training and emotional stress. That is until heavy foot steps echoed. Y/N could only guess who's steps those could be, not even asking question she called out to him. "Goku, everything okay?" She look towards the hall to see the man rubbing his eyes, standing only in sweatpants. The site made Y/N blush slightly but she quickly got rid of it after looking at his face. "Hey um, c-can you sleep next to me?" He sounded almost scared. "I-it's weird not feeling energy next to me a-and yeah" He sounded so shy but Y/n didn't hesitate, in all honestly she had always loved Goku but she didn't want to fuck up his wonderful relationship, so she kept all emotions at bay. "you sure?" she was willing of course, however not wanting to take advantage of him in anyway. "Yeah, that would help" He grabbed her hand and began to walk with her back up to the bedroom. As they passed the many room, a soft but shaken voice rang through the silence, "Y-Y/N?" Both looked back to see Goten holding the hand of Trunks who was half asleep peeking out from behind a door. " I uh I kinda had a nightmare, c-can we sleep with you guys?" He whispered cautious of the half asleep boy beside him.  "Oh Goten come on not bud, you're to old for this" Goku knew ChiChi would always comfort Goten, allowing him to sleep with them. But he did not want to cause anymore trouble than he already was. "Oh Hush Goku, Of course Goten my bed is big enough for the 4 of us" Y/N was quick to pick both boys up and carry them to the bedroom with Goku in close tow. As they all cuddled down together, for the first time all day, Goten and Goku felt comfort and safety. "Good night boys sweet dreams" Y/N gave each a kiss on their head. "Good night Y/N, we love you" Goten said slowly drifting to sleep.  "Y/N, thank you for everything" Goku said bringing her closer "Of course Goku" "I love you Y/N" He said also drifting. "I-good night Goku" Y/N knew she couldn't say it back because she would not mean it in the same way he did. 

After that night the boys moved in with Y/N. ChiChi and Goku got divorce a few months later after trying to work things out. With Y/N'S help Goku won custody over Goten, which he was thankful for but it was messy.  They agreeded that Goten was free to visit when ever he wanted, which was very little. Bulma was still mad at Trunks so Vegeta allowed him to stay with Y/N already annoyed with Bulmas increase in bitchy attitude. Some things went back to normal, Goku and Vegeta began to train together again, making sure to avoid Bulma. But other than that everything changed. Everyone basically Blacklisted Goku, Goten, and Trunks. ChiChi and Bulma continue to spread lies about Y/N and Goku's affairs. However The 4 accused where living rather peacefully, Y/N was going to college, taking some advice from Gohan and started studying Law, she also took on a part time job to help with food and everything. Goten and Trunks mostly stayed home and were doing online school. Even Goku got a part time job, he worked at a meat factory, perfect for him with all the heavy lifting and 'punching bag' as he had called the hanging meat. He was happy that he got to pick the job he wanted. However, all the peacefulness went out the door when an invitation was deliver to Goku by Gohan to a certain women's birthday part. (TO BE CONTIUNED)

DAMN THIS TOOK FOREVER BUT WORTH IT I THINK, HOPE YOU LIKE IT, :) HAVE A GREAT DAY AND REMEMBER TO EAT,DRINK, AND LOVE YOURSELF BYEEEEEE

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Deconstructing Dieter Bravo

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist I did a Deconstructing Dieter Bravo series for Destiny & Deliverance, so I thought it might be fun to continue that tradition with Closed Position since this Dieter does have some interesting things going on that we can delve deeper into.

I had several people comment/dm me about two things after the first chapter that I think would be fun to discuss further. Those were of course, Dieter’s plant hobby and the fluffy menace hanging around his house.

To most, these two things may seem very random and unrelated. However, they really aren’t. They do serve a bigger purpose to the story…because of course they do. When do I ever not have deeper meaning behind something, right? 😏

Plant Dad Dieter

First, I have included some more Dieter aesthetic pictures above that I had saved. It's a whole ✨vibe✨. Second, I must thank @readingiskeepingmegoing for coming up with the new #PlantDadDieter hashtag… because it’s so on point. I’m totally going with it! 💜

On to the good stuff...what have we learned about Dieter after the first installment? I think we can safely identify three things: he spends a lot of time alone, he feels misunderstood, and he doesn’t appear to have any deep or meaningful relationships. This will be a theme that comes up a lot with him, especially starting in Week 2 when we open with him having a chat with his therapist.

How does this relate to plants, you ask? Let’s start with Dieter’s history…the man has never had a real relationship. He’s never connected with anyone, whether that be friend or significant other. He was a party boy that indulged in the physical pleasures of life while avoiding any real intimacy. Most of his relationships were based on sex and favors. We will worry about why he is this way later, but for now, just know that’s where he's at emotionally.

Dieter has never really had a bond with anyone or anything. Now that he is sober and realizing how alone he is, he’s seeking that connection any way he can and doesn’t even really realize it (yet).

Sure, being a plantsman does have perks as it is relaxing and can have a positive impact on one’s mental health. However, it’s causing Dieter to learn how to care about something - how to be selfless and nurturing with his time. He has to put in a lot of effort to keep everything alive and healthy and he quickly realizes that putting in that time and energy makes him happy. Also, the plants don't judge him or his past.

Now, for some fun stuff because some of you asked…

Does Dieter talk to his plants? He 100% talks to the plants. He doesn’t know if it actually does anything, but he figures it can’t hurt to try. It also helps him feel less alone as he does see them as living things. They do breathe, eat, and drink after all.

Does Dieter name his plants? I’m inclined to say that he names his favorites. All the others just have random nicknames that change based on their appearance. Like...the "thirsty dramatic bitch" that gets weepy and needs to be watered and turned in the sunlight daily.

Dieter’s Furry Squatter

And let the collective aww's be heard! 🤭

So, I pulled a few pics from Pinterest of what I envision Dieter's furry little visitor looks like. I see it as an adorably fluffy young Maine Coon kitty.

👉 Fun Fact: "The name 'Maine Coon' was adopted after the state of the breed's origin, Maine, and after the early belief that the cat was in fact the result of crossing between domestic breeds and raccoons." (from VioVet)

Funny story, I did not know that fact before choosing this breed. It looks like it was meant-to-be for our loveable trash panda. 😂

Now, I am sure you're asking; how does the cat relate to the plants? The cat serves the same purpose when we think about Dieter's relationships...or lack thereof.

Again, Dieter is craving companionship. He is still reluctant, but this little nugget will eventually become a loving companion for him. It's another avenue for him to create an emotional connection with something. He will learn how to care for the kitty and build a bond. Though the little menace can be a bit sassy, like the plants, it also doesn't judge Dieter by his past. What do you think Dieter should name it? I'm taking suggestions in the comments. 😉

In an odd way, the plants and cat do help Dieter grow as a person. It's baby steps in his personal growth journey. Honestly, as Katrina gets to know Dieter on a more personal level, these are two things that she absolutely loves about him, mostly because it's two things that are unexpected and show what a sweetheart he really is. She sees the good in him even if he can't see it himself.

That's it for your little extra bit of insight...until next time.

💜Mysty

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, alcohol abuse, and drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

Closed Position Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept @survivingandenduring  @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime  @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap

*If your blog name is marked out, it would not let me tag you. You will need to change your visibility settings for that to work going forward.

[sweetpastillas]

tom & elliot's role swap video is interesting to me because . what if luther and viktor Did switch some places in s4?

this would likely include [this is an au idea]:

a down-on his-luck luther, shifting through various jobs

in hindsight i just want more depth back for him

in this au, sloane is fully dead via reginald incompletely programming the universe & allison pressing the button early. let's visualize all the flashback montages we should have gotten over their 6 years, and insert in one where he finds her grave.

(this would cut to ben finding this out in a phone call, scowling with a hint of mourning, before turning away to greet more of his crypto buddies)

it says something like "sacrificed her life saving people from the fire of the hotel obsidian [or something heroic]."

he has no picture of her

it's not a timeline where he's fucked up, like the unshaven floorcrying on the moon or s1's furry rave breakdown. he's numb. happy to go to family events, not as stoic as s1, but numb every once in a while

he still picks up ben from prison. hugs him too tight – ben complains once.

he actually squeezes more often in his hugs. death is too real. klaus gets it but still panics for closeness and germs as they meet at the party

viktor, on the other hand, is as neutral as he's always been. happy without his powers, able to take deep breaths dealing with annoying regulars at the bar without rattling all the bottles on his shelves

he's happy to be part of the family – it's not like he has sissy or harlan left. so he answers his calls, sends the niblings pictures of canada wildlife, and is happy to go to every meetup. he's missed only a couple, because distance.

viktor's still the one most pissed about his powers coming back, at least. "i could put us at risk and the end the world again."

it's luther who's even more visibly awkward when allison shows up to grace's 6th. everyone can assume it's because of oblivion, but we the audience can guess it could be about the rumor SA and their complex history

we can take it to the town with keepers and evil santa – viktor and allison could have a different scene, one that acknowledges where they are now

("we've killed each other's children, we've hurt each other, but you asked me to trust you and i did." "i guess i can't ask you to be in my corner then." "show me a good reason to; i know you can" *cue proper alli redemption arc*)

but alli/luther... there's more hurt there because really the show broke their closeness and put a transparent bandaid to pretend it's still there despite s3. they used to be besties with a childhood that turned them into exes and circumstances have changed that into worse

so it's luther who tells her that "we can't be anything else, right now.. i don't think we can even be friends. i'm sorry"

allison and that brilliant thing where emmy raver lampman acts out trying not to cry

take your pick of reasoning – the SA, or he blames her in part along with reg for not programming sloane into the timeline. either because she went with it, or because she pressed the button early

in my au we settle loose ends btw. they talk it out or help each other in battle, as long as they make truce at the end.

we keep the exact scene as from the roleswap video. we also keep the deleted conversation with diego later on.

if we have to actually integrate the cia in any way (bc in this world, five works at an actual deli and spies on the keepers at night) one of them finds various files on them, and sloane too. takes the picture of her to keep it.

i say one of them because a viktor-diego arc would be cool and luther travelling with reg, actually calling the shots better would be interesting.

viktor's the one who both gets an insight into diego's vigilante fighter style, and is also there to let him figure out that change is ok. "the civilian life isnt so bad, here's an anecdote from something i actually liked about being ordinary back in the original s1 timeline."

(have i also said this au is just lila and diego missing the action in their lives but without cheating. they both work 9-5s and are tiredly trying to keep up and this is settled later)

no matter what the picture ends up in luther's hands by the end

it's what luther clutches amidst a proper final battle and ending, hoping to find sloane in the next life

[goodolddumbbanana]

So I am right, apparently. Moon has toasted the shit out of Nexus.

Poor boy. Getting eliminated by the "superior" version of himself, must leave a burn.

(man, if I have my old self call me cringe and emo, and my name is oc teenage phase, I would die from embarrassment.)

Also, even though Sun doesn't actually say anything, but with his hesitation and he speaks Nexus's name with the tone of parents seeing their child walk into their emo teenage phase and change their name into something cringe like "Dark princess or sparkle pony", make me laugh.

Like, Sun has to repeat that name again. Like he didn't even believe why Moon or Nexus said that.

(Moo--Nexus, I guess you are not past your furry phase yet.)

Okay, sidenote: Nexus mistakes Sun's name with him. And it seems like he has not completely gone nuts and cut ties with his "family" yet, because he still cares what Sun thinks about him, even though it comes out as sass.

(If Nexus doesn't give coins about what Sun or the family thinks about him, he wouldn't think about making another murders or assuming immediately that Sun and the others hate him and don't want him.

Also, the way Nexus talks about Sun, it gives me a vibe of "Sun is the most ill mentally person that I know and he is so sensitive about me went nuts, he immediately went with you and lived in another house.")

I think in Nexus's view, Sun is the snowflake. Because even though he used to love Sun, he sometimes jokes about Sun's hallucinating episodes (sorry, can't remember the name of this mental issues problem) and down straight humiliation Sun because of it when Nexus went nuts.

I think Nexus still holds some pieces of his care for Sun, because it seems like he tries to avoid talking about him .

Another sidenote, I see some people say Old Moon gets along really well with the others and the family just forgets and replaces Nexus with Moon, which I must say is outrageous not true.

Nexus right now is still a hard spot for everyone. No one is coping very well, with Earth doubting her ability and wanting to have a pet just to vent out all his problems; Lunar seems like out of track, he is just numbing himself and doesn't want to think about Nexus. (Classic trauma defense reflex)

Especially Sun. You can see his voice shift into something like he can't breathe and seemingly shaking just like how he talked with Jack. He doesn't seem to care about Moon's jokes about Nexus (how Nexus the dumb one, how Nexus tries to have an intelligent battle with him...) and immediately just wants to step back and sit down.

Old Moon or Moon doesn't actually get along with Sun. They are pretty awkward with each other, when Moon still tries his best to prove that he is better now while still a little bit falls in the same good old Moon's manner. Only now he has not hit Sun or directly yells at Sun to shut up.

We can see some moments, when Sun just immediately shuts down, and doesn't talk back to Moon.

(remember the gravel's history? Sun has spent 10 hours rambling it to Nexus. He is also pretty much more confident and comfortable with Nexus than Moon, cuz we rarely see them play games with each other anymore these days and Sun usually is very quiet when Moon says something outrageous about Nexus or when Moon is doing something stupid. )

It seems like they had not found their dynamic yet.

In the old old Moon and Sun. Moon will take the lead and Sun even though nervously, still happily tagging along. With Nexus and Sun, they are seemingly both equal, with Nexus feels like he is the younger brother to Sun. Nexus is still the one who leads, but feels like Sun has to tag along by force and has a ball to stand up for himself.

(he is still nervously though. He seems to hardly care or impressed anymore. Sun in those moments just gives up on trying to do anything because all his efforts are seemingly useless and he just leaves Nexus and Solar having fun. )

And now, it seems like when Moon tries to support Sun and hear Sun out, to be a better brother, Sun just accidentally falls back into his old habits with Moon.

( Be quiet when Moon needs. Don't talk back to him. Do as he says. Don't be stupid and impulsive.)

Sure he is getting better at having a backbone and stand up for himself. But It is ironic that right now Sun is exactly what Moon wants Sun to be back then.

So yeah, I think their dynamic now still has a lot of problems that can be improved and I am really eager to see more of how Moon tries to bribe Sun and the celestial family into getting comfortable with him, and him being smartass while trying to sneakly replace and flushed every single piece of Nexus's appearance out of celestial family's life.

F@cking a@shole, but he is kind of funny right now though with how he just like Nexus, accidentally makes Sun can't talk about the others because he doesn't like seeing Nexus in better light.

#Also, do you guys think Sun would think deeply about Nexus when he stays alone? Like how Dark Sun tries to get rid of Nexus, and how Nexus still willingly stays and works with him.

#Do you guys think how Nexus would rather go off railed and associated with some one danger and use him than staying with his family would make Sun think he is a bad brother?

Like he used to not be good enough for Moon, now he is not good enough for Nexus?

How does he have no energy to keep it together anymore and not even care if he upset Moon to some degree?

(like Sun becomes more sassier, and I can say, a little bit of colder. Sure, he still cares for Moon, and keeps his mouth shut when it comes to sensitive topics.

But He was rarely impressed by the mafia and sass Moon so much in jail. He doesn't argue back with Moon and just shut up like he gets tired of that and just changes topics. He straight out calls Moon out for his bullshit about his technology, about how weird it is, and just doesn't even care if Moon tells or doesn't tell him anything.

He seems to have a trauma response of how Moon gets injured though. He is so scared of hurting Moon, making every magic come out of him all just harmless. Turning people into goose, making rock into rubber fish. He immediately runs back at Moon when he thinks Moon is in danger , and just straight walks away when Sun realizes it's just another of Moon's bullshit thing.

[zeichannnnn]

After re-watching the video for the probably 20th time this week, I've made a general characterisation of everyone based on the episode. Please feel free to correct me on things if I get someone wrong or help me with adding more to a character, I am very new to them

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ones who knows

Rat (Doctor4t) he/him - any

Mad doctor

Holding onto sheer desperation that everything goes well. Desperately need an escape from her existentialism. She’s acting tough, but everyone knows she has some of her screws loose because of the “last people in the solar system” bit.

2. Lux (Luxintrus) she/her - they/them

Silent sufferer

Despite the pessimistic view in front of her, Lux still keeps high spirits and looks on the brighter side of things. She is definitely losing her grip, but she has a better hold of it than Rat. Mother of the group, will scold anyone that messes up but will allow a bit of chaos here and there for ✨flavour ✨

3. Eight (EightSidedSquare) he/him

Not Human

Walking encyclopaedia. Probably the last existing library of human kind’s knowledge and history. Probably programmed???? 

The epitome of “um, actually”

4. Blake (WinSweep) he/him

Wildcard

He’s not certain on where he stands with Rat’s actions and the 6 additions to the crew, but he trusts Rat fully with his life and he’ll follow anything the Doctor says within reason. Still has his sanity intact (probably) and is the second most rational of all of them (Eight is the first)

5. Silved (Silved) he/him

Non talker

Not that talkative. Relatively calm unless triggered or given reasons not to be. Very down to join in the fun when everyone is doing dangerous shenanigans.

6. Boba (BobaBearWizard) any pronoun

Your 9 to 5 worker

I haven’t caught much on her character. She just gives me office worker vibes (or in this sense a normal space crew member) Most likely a second engineer. Soft girl.

7. Ryan (RyanHCode) he/him

Physics nerd

Probably the engineer of the whole crew. Deffo is highly intrigued with what’s out there and what’s to come from their exploration. Knows a whole lot just like Rat.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ones who don’t know

Fundy (Fundy) he/him

Amnesiac

Somehow it just hit him harder than others. Furry (fox-like characteristic much like how Rat is rat) Devious little trickster at heart. He’s like a 9 year-old on steroids. Everywhere he goes, be prepared. On the watchlist 24/7.

2. Kaboodle (JustKaboodle) she/her

Who am I?

Sincere and confused at her current predicament. Curious as to what her past was and what her future holds. Is currently suppressing an existential crisis on who she is and who she was and if she’s good or not. Lux’s baby girl.

3. Clown (ClownPierce) he/him

Deadpan

Analytical, tactical, and resourceful. Incredibly loyal to someone he trusts unless betrayed. Always questions his current predicaments but goes with the flow anyways unless things look dangerous or might lead to dangerous situations where he (specifically) won’t benefit anything from it.

4. Dijon (DIJ0N) he/him

Questionnaire

Always questions his current predicaments, sometimes too much. Doesn’t really trust anyone. A tad bit nihilistic. Very adventurous and loves to explore and find every hidden secret every place has.

5. Sloimay (Sloimay) he/him

Perspector

Always listens. Very much a “go with the flow” type of person. He accepts any and all situations he goes through as a “part of the ride” but will stop when things get too risky. Very situational person.

6. Garfield (Garfield) he/him

Confused?

I haven’t gotten much about his character honestly but from this video I just know that he’s currently coping with the fact that their time is numbered and it’s reaching zero fast. He’s at least a bit better and happier during the ichor mission when exploring with everyone and all.

[justferhere]

We Are the Champions | Armin × Fem!Reader

My Candy Love HSL • Episode 38 > Future

Armin proposed to you once as a joke, but now you can't help but remember that time.

Word Count: 1,088

Warnings: non, just fluff and some, not actually, suggestive jokes

Almost a fucking year later omgg! Hope you enjoy! English is not my first language so, sorry for mistakes.

"AGH, that's it, I'm over with this shit."

I was walking into the classroom for Mr. Farres' history class when I heard Armin complaining in the back. "Such a nice welcome, Armin. I'm very pleased to see you too." I said with a smile. Haven't seen him since the "little" incident with Evan. I tried to support him the most, but there were things I couldn't help with, only his family. Also, we haven't spent much time together like the old times. "Oh, Lovie, I didn't see you, but of course, it's such a pleasure being able to appreciate your beauty." He wink at me with one of his best smiles.

I'd miss him so much.

"What's up, going through a difficult battle over there?" I walked to him and hugged him by the side. "Actually, it's a new game I found, very tricky I've to say. Hum." He showed me the console, it looked like an apocalypse game. "Looks like Resident Evil." I laughed. "But how does Armin S Kennedy-kick-zombie's-ass can't pass a level?" He chuckles at my little reference. That time when we tried to make a Resident Evil marathon, and I yelped every time he played with my nerves. "Well, my Ada Wong, this time we have a hard mission to accomplish."

He started to play to show me how the level was. The level consisted of recollect batteries to light up the building, but when you activate the power, zombies got you from both sides of the hall. It was practically impossible to kill them alone. "I tried to convince Alexy, but he isn't the type to play this kind of game." He shrugged. "It's almost new and not well known so I haven't found someone on the internet that could pass this level."

Mr. Farres entered the room, and we didn't realize everyone was already sitting down. "Why don't we do it together? Team Fuck Zombies come back?" I suggest to him passing my arm through his shoulders. "I would love that, love." Farres started his class, sometimes I wrote down some notes about today's chapter but I was more concentrated on Armin, tracing circles on my hand down the desk. He wrote something in his notebook and showed it to me.

What about you, me, and a furry presence at my house at 4 pm, pizza, and a session of make out? ;))

Later that day, there I was, incredibly nervous about entering my boyfriend's house wearing the outfit I had 1 hour selected because the blouse didn't suit me. I pressed the doorbell and prepared my best smile. What if his mom or dad opens the door? They already know me, but do they know I'm his girlfriend?

"Well, well the little Candy finally has got invited to the house of madness." Alexy welcomed me with a funky tone. "My little brother took soooooo long, I started to think he was just so silly to do so." He laughed. "My god, I'm just kidding, come in. If you could see your face, just relax."

"Are your parents at home?" I asked, giving him a hug. "Nope, cops aren't in the sight, so feel in your house." He turned around and went to the kitchen. "But I'm the officer in turn, so try not to eat my brother... yet" He hooted, turning my cheeks red at his comment. I love him, but he isn't helping with this.

"Come on, Alexy, stop bothering my girl." Armin went down the stairs and hugged me by the back. "That's my job." He hugged me tight and hid his head in the crook of my neck. I giggled, "You aren't helping me!"

The time passed like water, just like it always has been with Armin. A couple of pizzas, sushi, and ice cream later, there we were, trying to pass through a horde of zombies without success. "I need a break, I will kill somebody at this point," Armin said, passing his hands in his face.

Frustration was the only thing we knew at the moment, and seeing Armin getting disappointed got me worse. "How long could you stay? I'm done with that horrendous thing but I would like to enjoy my beautiful girl, you know." He kisses me tenderly. We both knew it had no reason to continue trying, at least that day.

"They are at my aunt's, so I can stay more late." He started playing with my hands. "That's great, princess." He put his head on my chest and kissed my hand. "I'm really sorry. I thought we could get it," I said.

"Oh, don't be. Obviously, I wanted to get it, but I prefer being with you." I played with his hair. "I'm going to the bathroom, stay here." He kisses my head before leaving.

Something has to be wrong... but what is it? Every single time, somehow, even if we were just about to succeed; there was something that made another horde come to us. I took control and started playing this time analyzing everything I could on the map. There was something we hadn't seen.

And it was. After beating the enemies on both sides, something new appeared on the map; we didn't just have two ways. We could go down and get to the electricity center with a passage. It was longer and had some enemies, but it was way easier.

"I got it!" I screamed. "ARMIN! ARMIN!" I opened the door and called him. He hurried to the room, zipping his pants. "ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT-?" I hugged him and hopped. "I got it! We didn't see the correct way!" He looked at the TV and started laughing and pumping kisses all over my face. "No way..."

He raised me in a hug and started spinning. "I knew it! My lord, I'm so lucky to have you." I chuckled in his arms. "God, you are amazing, you know?" He murmured near my lips. "Mmh, I have an amazing boyfriend who gave me some life hacks, you know," I murmured back and kissed him. "Would you marry me?" He said between kisses. "Armin!" I laughed. "Don't laugh, I'm serious!" He smiled. "We are seventeen, Armin!"

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Rosa finished fixing my dress, looking for any lost detail. "You look beautiful! Our little Candy, I can't believe this is the day!" I smiled and looked one last time in the mirror.

One step closer to him. Closer to be his, and he mine. Armin and I, always and forever against anything, even zombies.

Hey there! It's been a long looong time 🤡 In my defense, college is finishing with my life, and creativity isn't helping me. But hey! Here it is. Not the final I hoped, but my self-consciousness couldn't keep this in my notes anymore.

If life treats me better, I'll start writing Lys or Kentins fic! Thanks for all your support 🩷

[rebukerobot]

What about doggirl tops tho

couple of tacks we can take this question from

1

top =/= dom. i know we as tumblr users have diluted the meanings, but there is actual queer history on the differences between top/bottom (invented by gay men as a minced version of "the one doin' the penetrating and the one gettin' penetrated") and dom/sub (invented by BDSM people because it's a BDSM concept). a service top doggirl is still subbing. my point applies to service tops just as much. we'll tackle domme bottom doggirls and domme top doggirls in a second.

2

let's talk about dogwomen vs doggirls. doggirls often presuppose a sort of neoteny which is very common in transfem spaces. so many transfems call themselves trans girls rather than trans women -- we don't call cis women girls in any situation aside from youth and casual-context-setting (note the casualness of the phrase "the girls in HR are coming to fire me"). trans men will often actually only use tboy in sexual or abbreviated contexts, and trans boy doesn't get thrown around quite nearly as much as trans girl.

the primary thrust of the tgirl neoteny angle is far beyond the scope of this, but suffice to say that neoteny is a de-agentive condition. children as culturally constructed are not intended to have any actual volition that isn't a live wire for adult sensibilities. "girl dinner" is distinct from "woman dinner". "doggirl" is distinct from "dogwoman".

if you are a volitional actor within a sexual encounter and you have a dog thing (therian, kink, or personal aesthetic, or whatever) you may actually be a dogwoman. some classic dogwomen are: isabelle from animal crossing! giovanna from guilty gear strive! that one woman from altered beast! john wick!

dogwomen inherit from a pre-neoteny furry era tradition where furries and therians mostly operated in a wild-animals-only space, with the exception of cats, which are pretty much wild animals anyhow. you had a lot of wolfgirls, and wolfwomen, and coyotegirls, and the such. dogs are neotenic wolves. they presuppose neoteny, they presuppose an instrumentality to anothers' volition. to double-neotenize, to posit yourself as a doggirl, you are signaling an absolute loss of agency. if you have the volition to dominate, you aren't a doggirl. you are a dogwoman or a wolfgirl.

dogwomen have lost the human neoteny of their deal. they are volitionally people -- they have jobs and lives and desires and sapient hand-having-person stuff. the conflict with the domesticated neotenic canine is exciting; are they servile in a kyriarchial way? how does that intersect with their femininity and their independence? how do they square the contradiction of their neotenic animal and their volitional human? is the oppression as transposed into a sexual scenario erotic? (yes.) is the inversion of that oppression erotic? (YES!)

wolfgirls are precisely the opposite; in retaining their neotenic humanity, they have transcended the infinite avolitionality of domesticated dogs and become the Volitional Predatory Animal. this breeds another sort of tension; the cutesy eternal-youthfulness of the young girl as prescribed by our culture against the violent uncontrollable loyal pack animal fantasy of a wolf. awooing at the moon and such. the conflict exists in the opposite manner. the primary volitional thrust of this eros is in the dog part, the rut, the unrestrainability. if a wolfgirl bottoms, it's a subversion of their wolfitude, a transgression upon their freedom. wolfgirls are kind of a werewolf fiction cultural idea, and like werewolves, their ferality defines their eroticism.

as such, dogwomen and wolfgirls are not really what i'm talking about when i talk about doggirls. they have the existence of a volitional gradient. they have some part of their identity that makes sex with d/s mechanics actually meaningful.

3

let's do some case studies.

when it comes to domme "doggirls", i envision two specific types:

"Argh... I can't control myself... I'm in heat... I'm going to eat you with my teeth... I'm like a pitbull and you're like a two year old..."

this is not quite domming, actually; this is a sort of service top. to appeal to instinct that overrides volition implies a submission to a base counter-cultural hedonist nature; the bottom, actually, is the one with the agency in this situation. while the act is being done TO the bottom, they're the ones who in the fantasy retain the cogency and volition to scream and plead.

it is hot, but it's still an abdication of volition in the act. the act of relinquishing control, in this case, is the important part, and so we must judge by the gradient of volition. i posit the following:

if the top is cognizant and volitional in nature -- if it's a personality shift into a sex-crazed animal, -- i'm gonna say this is a wolfgirl sort of deal. if this is your deal and you think you're a doggirl, i'm sorry, you're a wolfgirl. call yourself a feral doggirl if you want. whatever.

if the top is entirely in the fantasy of being a slave to their instincts, to the extent that the feeling exists prior, this is doggirlish stuff and while it can be enjoyable, still plays to the double-neoteny. you have nothing in your heart to give, why are you acting like you gave something up?

again, we can visualize these as volitional gradients. a werewolf-esque shift from normal girl to vicious dog is a shift from volition to avolition. a doggirl humping your leg because she's in heat was never volitional, at the end of the day. if this is your primary thrust of sexuality, you might be a wolfgirl.

"I'm a powerful dog and I'm going to make you suck my knot or kill you with my knot or both. Look at my dark eyes. I'm an evil or awesome dog and I'm going to put puppies in you and I know what I'm talking about."

this is dogwoman to me. dogs don't broadcast their intention with language, they don't have a cultural construction of threat, they can't speak languages. to broadcast a sort of dangerous domme energy in the context of a woman is to be a woman. this is a kind of domination volitional culturally-contexted people can have -- the woman, non-neotenized, the dog, fetishized as the contradiction. you're getting fucked by a woman more powerful than you but also a dog, the instrumental tool of humanity? lol wowwwwwww. if this is your primary thrust of sexuality, you are a dogwoman at heart.

4

i think the actual conclusion here is that the homogenization of queer spaces through incessant FOMO-based fetish adoption and the telephone game of regurgitated queer history has made it impossible to understand the relationship one immersed in those spaces might have with doghood, girlhood, wolfhood, womanhood, etc. it also doesn't help that in these spaces nobody seems to read any feminist literature, or even transfeminist literature. rigorous self-analysis is impossible; analysis of others is seen as an attack on validity. the individual is sacred because the internet is american. i understand the snap-reaction; in a kinder world, "gender critical" would mean a critical analysis of the social archetype-control-role of gender, not an admittance of being The First Female Hitler.

to be a doggirl is to be accepted, to walk among like queer people who have doubly-neotenized themselves for each others' comfort, victims of tall poppy syndrome. do you honestly think that the hordes of doggirl transfems on the internet truly feel that way in their hearts, that they must forever remain neotenic and consumable, instrumental tools of another's pleasure? are they all age regressors forever? are they all therians? is every single one of them consigned to never take the reins of their own heart and push forward for their own sake, transmuting their will into power?

no! the kyriarchy has consigned them to be lumpenproletarian buttsluts! this is a social disease we perpetuate as a viral reservoir!

being a doggirl is a social camouflage of the heart.

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

*knee-up are now 30% per extra char, not 50%! cool graphics made by the glorious @marianjos

yup. would like to humbly present some offerings. due to issues. i draw mostly in pencil and ink with some digital options, you'll get something physical in the mail for what should be <5 dollar shipping fee if you're based in the "us" chile or brazil, everywhere else is case by case. i'll do a lot this run, ocs down sloppy style, furries, gummies for the generous, short comic spreads for ur ocs and otps, etc except what i will not do. mutuals get xtras n things wink come talk to me to find out!

if at all interested please dm or email me at ohhbde(at)gmail(dot)com, thank you!😐👍🏼💕

🍵add. info below for serious onlookers🍵

i'll also do +10$< for brush pen as an add-on, forgot to add it in

soy has a history of drawing for: orv, link click, shl/woh, ajin, drhdr, jojo, code geass, witch hat atelier. jjk is glaring rn

soy would also luv to draw more for: golden kamuy, neuro tantei, blue period, hxh, inuyasha, your ocs!

sliding scale prices are open to under-resourced folks, especially folks of color, who still want something nice. pm me

i'm opening nsfw comms sloppy style to charas that i don't know or care about so note that is the risk you’re running. i'd love to make your ocs bang if that's what you want to see from me !

ill work on sketch-ups after gathering specifics which will then be sent for approval, wherein you may make changes. once a sketch is finalized no more changes can be made.

your commission will be mailed to you, and if you requested a digital add-on, the file will be emailed to you.

i'll draw ya 2+ gummies if you tip me $5+, which i will donate on your behalf to a person/org of my choosing

refunds only in the case i neglect the entire commission.

in order to make my business a lil more sustainable, i’ll offer a separate one-time exclusive use fee, which is permanent/specific to one person - which was previously built into all my prev commissions, but now you must pay to reserve the commissioned work for personal use. this is so i didnt need to hike up my prices across the board to account for what is essentially one-time use of a drawing, and so i may have the viable option to make merch w it to help offset the cost of offering cheaper comms. if i ever do end up making merch from it, you can request one from me for free or production cost.

if you'd like to commission a one-time use fanart drawing, thats 60% of the flat amount total added on. If not, you can still get the same, actually lowered than before, flat pricing for fanart comms - just bear that in mind! this fee does not apply to non-fanart, which have had their prices modified to reflect this. thanks for your understanding.

[pointless-party]

an informal analysis of mood doom or: please just let the rat be morally questionable

this got longer than i expected it to so i'm putting it under a cut. keep in mind i am in no way a professional at character analysis or media criticization, i'm just some guy that likes reading about neon furries, so if this comes off as unorganized then that's why. also keep in mind this post is image heavy.

skimming over the reboot made me realize how kinda... flanderized mood is now? besides there always just being more attention on doom i mean. she was shown to be kind of petty, dismissive and even a bit cruel (though not to the patients directly) in v1.

even in her + doom's cameo during v2, mood was still snarky and talked back to cuddles in what is probably annoyance (also noting her insistence to refer to patients by name, presumably out of respect while simultaneously insulting them).

yet in v1 she's still visibly uncomfortable and remorseful of being the one to bring barry to the hospital (and back when they leave).

it might just come off as inconsistent as many of the earlier characterizations are, but i personally think it set up a good balance for her character: though she's not willing in any of this nor does she want to cause any harm, she is still complicit and not innocent in any way, a distinction that i think is important not just for her but all of the staff members.

yet in v3 and v4 her more negative traits are basically forgotten about. she's seen scolding barry and cyn in v4, but those are seen as more reasonable things to be upset about rather than her being petty for no reason (and she seems to forget both of these things very quickly anyway).

the only thing that really hints to her having a personality besides "worries about everybody and tries to be optimistic to help them feel better" is her expressing her anger towards cuddles, which is also brushed off very quickly for more kneevil shenanigans. it makes sense character wise why she wouldn't talk about something like this openly, but it's still a peek into her actual feelings that feels horribly unexplored so we can get back to Even More Barruni.

plus, it's aimed at cuddles, so any negative or possibly immoral feelings she may have toward him are justified as, well, it's cuddles.

she's also openly more easily upset and caring toward the patients, which, though it may just be in-universe time passing (iirc these volumes happen over the course of 3~ months), still feels pretty jarring considering her previous dismissal of (at least barry's) personal interests and medical history that would otherwise be important.

it's a subtle difference but she definitely feels more flanderized into the main "token good staff member" with what little time she has on-screen. her previous snark and, honestly, rude/petty characteristics really added a bit of depth to her character that's desperately needed. and it's been five years since v1 was published, of course there are going to be character changes over time (god knows none of this is mentioning doom), but it's kinda disappointing imo.

she can be petty and dismissive while still being an inherently kindhearted and well meaning person. it's a dichotomy that can exist. people are complex and, given her trauma of working at the hospital and (presumably) having killed people, it feels unreasonable to me at least for her to be Happy And Invested In Others All The Time.

her actions in v1 came across like this to me: though she feels terrible about her job and very much is an unwilling participant, she's still complicit, and she's still kind of cold if only just because she knows the nature of her job means people are going to be hurt and killed. why wouldn't she come across as uncaring? yes, she's going to be kind to patients, but she also knows that many of them will end up dead anyway, maybe a few of them by her own hands. she might mean good, but that doesn't mean she's a good person.

but now it just kind of feels like... oh poor baby mood is trapped in the big evil hospital that forces her to hurt and kill people! look at her giving everyone cute nicknames and crying at the slightest hint of confrontation! don't you just feel terrible for her? don't you just fucking hate cuddles for putting her in this situation? it completely downplays the fact that mood (and all of the staff) aren't innocent either, whether they're willing participants or not.

i like mood in theory, but the lack of on-screen time makes it impossible for her to be developed (and of course that could be changed! i hope it is sometime in the future because i'd like to know about anything OTHER THAN BARRUNI). the big reason i loved sick doom is because of the contrast that existed between his words and his actions, the way he was emotional and seemed to care while still committing horrible acts and dismissing traumatizing experiences. sure, he may not have been a well written character, but i personally think something like that is more interesting than whatever mood has going on right now.

tldr; mood deserved to stay petty and rude instead of being uwu-fied into someone we're supposed to think is entirely innocent. please god just let characters be complex and immoral in a comic about a hospital that kills people. -🐍

[bloody-wonder]

starting new series (part two)

oops looks like i started ten more new series so here's another super long bookish post🫢

the series that was so good i'm prioritizing it this year is her instruments by mca hogarth (book one: earthrise). set in the same universe as my beloved cozy sci fi about an interspecies qpp, the dreamhealers, earthrise is a story about a down on her luck captain of a trading spaceship who gets roped into Wacky Hijinks after rescuing a space elf nobleman from space pirates. reese eddings has major stressed millenial going through the quarter life crisis energy so i related to her big time. her crew includes: a lion skunk centauroid, a giant bird that communicates in two word phrases and a pair of horny cat twins. yes, that vintage space opera cover doesn't want you to know it's actually a furry book lol. however, it's not about getting sexy with furries - it's about getting unsexy with space elves. speaking of whomst.

hirianthial is a tall blonde aristocratic space elf doctor and you can't touch him bc that would be too hot and inappropriate (and also he'll read your mind). reese hates him on sight bc he's a beautiful fairytale prince and she's a messy 30+yo who may or may not have been drowning her sorrows in binging space elf romance novels by the dozen. major "how dare you come to me now when i am this" scene from the last unicorn vibes. wouldn't it be embarrassing if reese's ulcer burst from anxiety and bad eating habits while they're being chased by the pirates and mr perfect had to operate on her esophagus? what a unique meet cute would that be!

lol to sum it up: i ship it, the furry crew ships it, reese is kicking and screaming refusing to accept that she's the heroine in a romance book, hirianthial manages to maintain his space elf mystique and keep calling her "lady" despite the fact that she's being a horrible little gremlin towards him and taking out all her issues on this poor man. the pacing of the romance is extremely slow, just the way i like it. one could even say this first book doesn't at all contain what an average romance reader would call "romance" - it's more about hirianthial becoming part of the crew during their various misadventures and reese learning to accept that fact. and about the horrors of meeting a very hot guy who is able to know all your deepest insecurities just from touching you. i can't blame reese, i would be cranky too😅

☝️that's me throwing away whatever you were planning to read next and bringing her instruments to your attention

series i'm going to continue next year (or whenever somebody finds time to finish writing his series):

a targaryen history by george rr martin (book one: fire & blood). as you might know, asoiaf is my favorite fantasy series of all time but i was hesitant to read this prequel lore book bc i was afraid i wouldn't like grrm's writing as much now that i've become much more well-read in fantasy and, more importantly, bc i didn't like the first season of hotd. luckily it turns out my appreciation for grrm's writing and worldbuilding is as strong as ever and maaan i just love the targaryens. i just think they're neat. they just want to marry brother to sister, you know🙂 i surprised myself by how much i enjoyed the history book format of fire & blood with its successive generations of kings and queens, multiple unreliable narrators and versions of events, trying to make sense of long gone triumphs and tragedies in hindsight. which i think is also the reason i didn't vibe with the show - it takes away this sweeping epic scope of the book, the weight of the centuries, the unrelenting pendulum of time, with individual fates nothing but blades of grass ground under the wheels of history etc etc and doesn't, in my opinion, manage to compensate for it by fleshing out the protagonists of the dance of the dragons enough for me to be able to get invested in their personal stories. i hope i'll like the second season more but i'm gonna keep my expectations low for now. i mean, it doesn't even have mushroom🍄‍🟫

the neapolitan novels by elena ferrante (book one: my brilliant friend). didn't expect to like this one so much either. most of it is good but not great - a very truthful depiction of girlhood and adolescent female friendships with their camaraderies and rivalries, a good exploration of struggling to access education as a way out of poverty, an atmospheric setting in the 50s naples - but then near the end there's a chapter where the author manages to encapsulate the characters' journeys and throw into relief the themes of the book so masterfully in so few words, using such simple yet impactful visual metaphors, i literally froze while listening to it in the audiobook and then paused whatever i was doing to sit down and reread it with my own eyes. i'm not a prose girlie so i'm rarely so impressed by an isolated piece of writing (the last time it happened was the epilogue of assassin's apprentice, as far as i remember). anyways, i obviously can't discuss it further bc of spoilers but to put it briefly ferrante succeeded in getting to the core of that special bond you shared with your teenage best friend and somehow managed to distill the essence of girlhood friendships into one single scene. chapter 57: if you know - you know🫠

the alexander trilogy by mary renault (book one: fire from heaven). when i finished the lymond chronicles several people recced mary renault's books to me bc they're also queer historical novels written around the same time (so 60-70s) - but having read the charioteer and now this first alexander book i conclude that those are their only similarities. dunnett's writing style couldn't be more different from renault's and, to be completely honest, i find the latter one extremely boring. madeline miller is actually a much better comp for renault (including the questionable depiction of female characters), except the song of achilles could at least be more explicit about the queer love story. not that i'm measuring the quality of these books by how smutty they are - in fact, the only thing i liked in fire from heaven was how renault managed to write around the scenes of gay sex while also making sure we know what's happening. anyways, normally i would just dnf a series where i was so unimpressed with the first book but as far as i understand the persian boy is really the main course here so i'll read that and then, who am i kidding, i will also read the last book in the trilogy bc of completionism. and tbh i'm not yet ready to let go of the image of myself as an elegant dark academia girlie reading classy mary renault books about ancient greece🧐

series i'm maybe going to continue sometime in the future:

london calling by alexis hall (book one: boyfriend material). enjoyed this first book much more than i expected, given that cartoon cover contemporary romance is very much out of my comfort zone and fake dating is one of my most disliked tropes. ig i just like the british humor of it all and that it really felt like those old nostalgic romcoms hall says he was inspired by. i would've liked to see oliver grapple more with how his parents fucked him up but maybe this is explored more in the sequel? which i'm hesitant to read bc it has an abysmal average rating on goodreads😬 i mean it could mean anything: maybe people are correct in that this story didn't need a sequel or maybe we're just unused to there being more to love stories after the characters get together, including more problems. alexis hall is a total discovery for me this year, i think i trust him to make it good, esp given that there really aren't any queer romance series like this out there, focused on a couple going through all the conventional stages of a relationship (dating, marriage, parenthood). but on the other hand i'd really like to hear an opinion from someone i know. so: did any of you read husband material? did you hate it too?👀

chrestomanci by diana wynne jones (book one: charmed life). this was just fine. i like wynne jones' writing and humor but i think this is the kind of book you should've read as a kid. as an adult i can't connect to its themes and characters anymore but what i can do with my adult brain is discern fatphobia🫤 seriously, this is the third time i see fatphobia in wynne jones' books - just small things that upset me and take me out of the story. wtf mam. anyways, i didn't think this book had anything interesting to offer, compared to howl's moving castle with its iconic characters or fire and hemlock with its wtf did i just read, so i was ready to dnf this series but then just the other day i saw a tumblr poll of people voting for their favorite chrestomanci book and the lives of christopher chant won in a landslide. so ig i'll read that just to be sure and then probably move on to the dalemark quartet or smth. i have an inkling i'd like a chrestomanci book focused on a different (cooler) protag more but i'm not going to prioritize it.

the tarot sequence by kd edwards (book one: the last sun). okay this one is a big maybe. like i mentioned before, i just don't like urban fantasy but i decided to try this series nevertheless bc it's so popular on queer booklr and i like to be in the know. and indeed the only thing i'm mildly intrigued by is the slowburn bodyguard romance - so slow in fact that the main guy has a completely different love interest in the first book. will i suffer through chapters upon chapters of boring urban fantasy politics just for the sake of this romance tho? not any time soon.

series i'm not going to continue:

the saint of steel by t kingfisher (book one: paladin's grace). i'm starting to suspect t kingfisher is not our blessed niche tumblr fantasy but in fact their barbarous mainstream award winning fantasy. what in the name of heterosexual lucifer was this?? lol i mean it's not a bad book or anything, ig i just didn't vibe with the religious aspect of the worldbuilding and, more importantly, the romance here is the textbook example of what i dislike in this genre: just two people being horny for each other from the moment they meet. i mean ik this is what it's like for allosexuals irl but when i see this in a book it just seems like lazy writing. the book opens with the most ridiculous meet cute ever (suffice it to say, nobody's esophagus was even involved) and if i were a normal person i would've dnfed right then and there but i forced myself to trudge through pages and pages of these two repressed middle aged people lusting after each other in cursive. which i understand is very relatable content for some readers but ig i could confirm yet again that hetero women's fantasies are not my fantasies. i finally finished it yesterday and picked up her intruments book two right away as a palate cleanser bc, as me and my book bestie like to joke, i don't want any romance in my romance lol. i was somewhat underwhelmed by thornhedge last year so i'm not really interested in kingfisher's novellas either. ig i could try other books from the white rat universe, the ones not focused on horny paladins, but maybe i shoud just accept that this author is not for me🤷‍♀️

the adventures of amina al-sirafi by shannon chakraborty. the city of brass was one of the most disappointing books i read last year but i wanted to give this author another try bc on paper her newest book seemed like the most up my alley story ever: potc are my favorite movies of all time, i completely support the middle aged woman protag agenda and if there is a thing i liked about chakraborty's writing it's that she's not afraid of setting her stories in the real historical periods of our own world and doing the research accordingly instead of just being "inspired" by foreign cultures and time periods. so i was very determined to like this book but unfortunately it didn't work out. you see, in a good fantasy adventure novel characters, plot and worlbuilding work in unison to tell a cohesive story - here on the other hand these three elements felt separate from each other. the characters seemed more like those tumblr posts showing little oc arts and listing their character traits under them than full-fledged dynamic fictional people with a function in the story. their motivation to go on an adventure and to move the plot forward, as it were, never seemed personal and important enough for me to be invested in their success. instead of serving the plot, the worldbuilding and the lore chakraborty researched and constructed so painstakingly derailed the story more often than not. as a result, halfway through the book i'm still waiting for the author to make me care about this team of misfits and the random girl they're searching but instead i'm hit over the head with the bird people island. sigh. but the biggest disappointment was ofc the demon husband😑 you can do so many sexy things with a problematic demon husband but ig chakraborty just has a unique talent for coming up with sexy ideas and bad boy love interests and then making them completely unsexy in her books. well ig i successfully confirmed this author is not for me and i won't try any of her books anymore.

the scholomance by naomi novik (book one: a deadly education). this book was released right around the time i started watching booktube so i vividly remember the controversy surrounding it. at first everybody seemed to hate it but later, when the sequels came out, there was a new wave of readers who liked the series a lot. i'm a big fan of spinning silver and uprooted (not to mention novik's work in otw) and i'm not immune to gritty magic schools by any means so i decided to give it a go. sadly, this turned out to be another dud. i have a sneaking suspicion this story was a much better piece of fiction in its past life as a drarry fanfic, before novik frankensteined it into a perfunctorily diverse, heteronormative, commercialized ya version of hp. i couldn't appreciate the worldbuilding bc it was delivered through a series of the most aggressive exposition dumps ever so the concept of this edgy school that wants to kill you just seemed silly to me. the romance was meh and the fact that i recently read in other lands that does a similar pseudo-hero/pseudo-villain dynamic much better didn't do it any favors either. i liked the abrasive personality of the main character but not so much as to force myself to continue this series in case it gets better. i'll start reading novik's dragon books instead.

2024 reading updates | goodreads

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

“Hey you! Yes you! Do you want money? Do you want stability? Do you want to go to hell? Well boy do I have the job for you! Here at Rosey Posey Cafe it is our pleasure to serve a variety of guests magical drinks that you could only dream of!”

“Any human above the age of 18 may apply!”

“You don’t need any experience!”

“I’ll teach you how to read if I have to!”

“If any of this has interested you please call this number and we’ll schedule your interview for as quick as tomorrow! Hope to hear from you!”

You half expect this to be a scam. A weird, furry based scam due to the talking anthro cat from the commercial, but a scam nonetheless. Still, you do need a job, even if it’s fake there’s no harm in trying, right? Right. The start of the number is weird as, well, hell, but that’s to be expected from a hell run business you guess. You’ve yet to really visit hell since the rifts opened up last year but you’ve heard it’s actually pretty nice

You grab your phone from your bedside table and give the weird cat-lady a ring “HELLO!?” Ow, hi, you’re calling to ask about the job position “Oh, my ad worked?!? Yes! So, when can you come down for an interview?”

And the rest is history, well, recent history you guess, seeing as this is your first day. Turns out the cat-man-demon who runs this place was being super legit. Actually, what is his name? “Oh, I don’t think you could pronounce it, but in english I go by Evelyn or Ms. Rose! It’s so so nice to have you as a part of the team!” You’ve heard, repeatedly, ever since she hired you on the spot “Well it never hurts to say something twice!”

Your new boss is more than a bit odd, the whole human sized tabby cat thing aside she’s just, really friendly? To the point it almost seems like she’s fucking with you but…you don’t wanna be rude but there doesn’t seem to be a lot going on behind those eyes. You ask Ms. Rose if your training will start soon “Yes yes yes! Ok, question before we start. Do you know how to read?”

Yes “Perfect! I have a little booklet on how to make all the drinks we serve here. You don’t have to memorize it by any means though, I want this place to have a nice relaxed vibe so there’s no rush. I mean, don’t make a demon wait 10 years for their drink but aside from that you can take your time. Here’s the booklet! There’s rules at the top and two lists below it. One is alphabetical so you can search drinks by name, and the other is based on flavor profile so if someone wants to spice it up a little you can search by the flavors they like”

“If you have any questions you can let me know, but there are a few things I need to show you” He walks me through how to use the Fizzer, which is just a carbonator, the hot plate and sauce pan used for warming, and the blender, each explanation coming with a long warning about how it could interact with my “frail human body” After Ms. Rose finishes telling me about all the tiny pieces I could wind up as if I could somehow fit my entire body into the blender he takes a moment to think

“I’m pretty sure the rest is self explanatory but I’ll be here to chaperone you your whole first day, and never be afraid to ask me for help!” You thank him and ask when the store will open “Hm? It’s been open this whole time!” …Aren’t those open and closed signs supposed to say the opposite of what you are on the back?

“.”

“.”

“.”

“Fuck” Your boss walks dejectedly to the front door and flips the “we’re open!” side of the sign to face outside “Well, I guess we just opened!” She laughs as she springs back over to stand beside me. While we wait I take a second to really just admire this place, it’s a small cafe but it’s incredibly cozy. There’s a lot of dark wood work and fluffy pillows, even a few blankets in a basket with a “please return after use” sign above an empty one beside it, and the whole place just smells…warm?

You’re knocked out of your thoughts by the front door bell chiming “Hello! How can we-oh, it’s you” Ms. Rose’s voice drops all cheer as she greets…Oh my god, it’s Jean Laurent, why the fuck is your first customer a movie star!?! Jean fucking Laurent saunters up to the counter “Hey Evelyn~” “Laurent” Jean laughs “So cold” his gaze shifts over to you, looking you up and down

“Who’s this?” You feel like a deer in headlights, you were ready to serve weird demons not Whole Ass Human Celebrity Jean Laurent “They’re my new employee, and I’ll thank you not to fuck with them” The venom in your bosses voice snaps you out of your little trance, looking over to him you see that his eyes have strained into small slits and his ears are angled back against his head

Ok! Um, you ask what Mr. Laurent would like, he chuckles “Oh please, there’s no need to be so formal. I’ll have my usual, cutie” You can feel your face betray you as all the blood in your body seems to drain into your cheeks. Ok, focus! He wants his usual? Oh, here we go, Jean’s order. Ew. It doesn’t look good but if that’s what he wants then you guess so

You glance back up at your boss. She really doesn’t seem to like him. Huh, you know you probably shouldn’t but you have a feeling she’d get a kick out of seeing him gag a little bit. You fain a bit of cluelessness as you look through the drinks you could make. A Sucker punch looks like it could get a reaction out of him, it’d probably piss him off though. What should you make him?

[narcissistcookbook]

GENDERING TEDDY - a story about the evolution of mathematics, blood-stained chickens and a childhood toy that wasn't a girl or a boy

LYRICS:

The Babylonians developed the first written numerical system, in 3400BC Their system was base 60, which we still use today for telling time, but for everything else we ditched it in favour of The base 10 system, which the Egyptians came up with a few hundred years later And this was rounded out by a notation for zero courtesy of the Mayans a couple hundred years after that Giving us the numbers 0 through 9, upon which is built our entire modern mathematical architecture

Now Before this, It's not like humans didn't have a concept of numbers Any more than we didn't have a concept of time before clocks were invented We've understood natural numbers since before recorded history It's easy to understand that if you have 1 chicken and your neighbour has 2, they have more chickens than you It's just as easy to show someone that 1 plus 2 equals 3 Because we can see our chicken And we can see their two chickens And then, as if by magic, now we have three blood-stained chickens This is simple and observable mathematics And we didn't need language to make sense of this Beyond this, though, things get abstract and theoretical real fast I'm not even talking astrophysics here, Just getting into numbers larger than 60 or 100 poses serious problems in a world where you don't often have 60 or 100 of anything And inevitably somewhere adrift in the abyss of history is the first human who faced the challenge of trying to describe the concept of one million to a poor friend who was, understandably, less interested in a number with no practical application than they were in society's state of the art advances in avoiding being eaten by a fucking lion But in this one person's brain was an idea Of a number bigger than anyone had counted Something that they knew was real That they knew was out there But which they couldn't hold up and show anyone Which they couldn't even clearly explain Because the language hadn't been developed yet And if, as has been theorised, our species' intelligence is intimately tied to our capacity for language Then an abstract concept without a word attached to it Might as well not exist

When I was born, I was given a teddybear That I called Teddy, because some days you just phone it in And I took Teddy with me everywhere One day, when I was around four My mum and I were getting ready to go out And mum asked "Where's Teddy" And I said "Upstairs" And mum said "Go and get him then, we're leaving" And I remember being jarred by this It was an unfamiliar, visceral feeling Powerful enough for me to still be processing it, way, way in the background, thirty years later I said "Teddy's not a him" And mum said "Oh. Her then." Hmm No That's still not right, I though "Teddy's not a her either," I said, struggling to find a word for what I knew Teddy was A word that I felt must exist, because on a purely conceptual level I could imagine it And because my experience thus far had been to point at something and ask what it is And be told it was a table, or a chair, or a deactivated exploder for a mark ten torpedo I just assumed, naturally, that in my four long years on the planet I had yet to come across the word for when something doesn't quite fit Into the boy box Or the girl box Now, I know Teddy was (Is, actually, I still have them, they are sitting in the next room as I record this) Teddy is just clumps of fluff stuffed into a furry bag There isn't any objective truth to be found as to whether Teddy is a girl or a boy Or something else But that's not the point The point is This is one of my earliest memories This, not skinning my knee or losing my mum in the supermarket, is what has stuck with me When I was four years old, Before I had had any exposure to anyone beyond the gender binary In real life or in books or on the tv Before I even had a concept of what it might mean Socially and politically Gendering Teddy felt like it went against something tangible that apparently only I could see

And this is why I have so little patience for people who smirk and say we don't need new words to describe gender The reason That these people constantly belittle and undermine the words trans and non-binary people use to describe themselves and the world around them Is not because the words are meaningless It's because these people know fine well that words are powerful and dangerous And they know that their last hope of stalling progress is preventing people from having access to language that validates and vindicates their lived experience Not to mention that frankly fucking ludicrous idea that new words somehow erase their identity rather than give them a deeper understanding of it And the notion that it is somehow unnatural to invent new words for things, as if that hasn't been one of the leading preoccupations of humanity for the past 6000 years at least We are trying to do something that cannot be accomplished without a new language Without it, the concepts that make up vital parts of our identities are formless and amorphous Without it it becomes impossible to build support networks and communities Or to be taken seriously when your rights are being violated Or to tell the people you love who you actually are Or even to recognise yourself in the fucking mirror

That lonely, early human who struggled to explain the concept of a million If they could, maybe they would have said You're right, we don't need a formal numerical system to know that one plus two equals three But we will need one to build a worldwide communication network To point telescopes into the darkest parts of space And to plunge with no regard for our own safety into the deepest parts of the sea Maybe some of you think it is unnecessary even dangerous to be coming up with new words like this, and in the process validating things you don't believe in Things you can't see But for me, I can't see it as anything except progress New words are new tools Which can be used to build a marginally better world right now And maybe Many thousands of years in the future These new tools that we drop and break and wield clumsily will be used in ways we can't even conceive of today To build miraculous, unimaginable structures With our distant descendants Standing atop of them Being the people we always wanted to be