#no more obvious and oblivious firefighters

[watchyourbuck]

List of my kinks include (+18):

Buck and Eddie happy together.

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

Always There

Note: I know I’ve been MIA for a while but the “writer block” bug bit me good. Anyways, hope I can apologize better with this Gibbs Prompt!

Prompt: Gibbs has a panic attack after hearing old military footage.

"Tony, knock it off, you're gonna make me drop it and then we're all gonna be in trouble," you warned the overly excited agent as he made grandous hand motions near the tray of coffees you had.

"Oh come on, Y/N. I know you're just as excited as me. You're the biggest crime noir movie nerd I know."

You just smiled at his theatrics as the both of you exited the elevators and walked towards the bullpen, where the rest of the team was waiting.

"Tony been talking your ear off about the new Gregory Haines film?" McGee asked as you handed over his coffee with an eyeroll.

"You have no idea. It took him 10 minutes just to order his coffee because he was busy talking about the trailer with the barista."

You handed Bishop her loaded breakfast bagel and latte before finishing with Gibbs' tall black coffee. He was quietly engrossed in whatever case file was on his desk, barley looking up to greet you. It was unusual of him since you two were kind of a thing now. Of course no one knew about it, but for the last 3 months or so, you and Gibbs had been going on late night dates and hanging out at each others houses, occasionally sleeping together.

You blamed his distant behavior on keeping a professional cover with you so as not to arise any suspicion from the team, but kept a reminder in your head to ask him about it later.

"But she just can't help going back to him, totally oblivious to the fact that he's actually the town murderer-

"DiNozzo. Are you able to focus today?" Gibbs inquired in irritation, irrupting Tony's lengthy synopsis to Bishop. His tone was a bit more gruff than usual, even throwing Tony off a bit.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry boss. Back to work."

As Tony took his seat at his desk, McGee pulled up a picture of a very obvious decomposed body being pulled from the water. "Master Sargent Gantry, was found by local police, washed up on the shore 2 days ago. Shot in the head, the county's ME determined the cause of death to be a suicide after tracing the trajectory of the bullet and the linking it to the Master Sargent's missing sidearm that the police found when doing a sweep of the lake." Using the clicker, he changed the screen so that it showed a picture of a plastic bag filled with what looked like letters and a personal recording device. "Unfortunately, a couple days later, they also found this vacuum sealed bag containing letters to the Master Sargent and a recording of an unidentified male admitting to friendly fire during a firefight back in Iraq of 1991."

"1991? Wasn't that-

Before Bishop could finish whatever historical fact she had in mind, she was interrupted by Gibbs.

"Operation Desert Storm."

All of you turned to look at him as he stood up from his desk, coffee in his hand.

"DiNozzo and McGee, I want you two getting all the information you can from Master Sargent Gentry's time in the Marine Corps. Find out if anyone had any problems with him that would suggest motive. Bishop, I want all the records pulled from the ME that did Gentry's autopsy, talk with Ducky and Palmer. Y/N, you're with me. Abby and Sloan are going over the recording found with our victims body."

No one dared asked any follow up questions as all the clues were adding up. His more than usual grumpiness, the distant look in his eyes. You all knew Gibbs served in Desert Storm so seeing what looked like a fragging on a superior officer and possible friend, would definitely offput him.

You caught up to him as he entered the elevator, destined to the lab. It was quiet for a few seconds before you decided to speak.

"You ok?

He just nodded, but didn't speak further on it. Once the doors opened, you were following behind as he entered Abby's lab, where Sloan was already waiting. She looked just as worried as you felt.

"Whadya got Abbs?"

"Ok, so luckily for us, the letters and recording were vacuum sealed in a plastic bag, preserving them perfectly. The letter don't give any names or clues as to who wrote them but when I listened on the recording, I found something."

Gibbs nodded to her, to which she turned to her computer and clicked a button, immediately filling the lab with loud sounds of machine guns firing. It was the only time you had ever seen Gibbs visibly flinch. As you all listened to the audio clearly describing a firefight with enemy forces, you noticed the change in Gibbs' demeanor. He seemed to stand rigid as his free hand slowly closed itself in a fist, while the other adjusted holding his coffee in almost a nervous manner.

Are they coming from the south side or not?!

Who's got eyes on that treeline?!

The sounds of bullets ricocheting off of metal could be heard as a couple of men cursed before returning fire.

Check your fire Watts!

Did I hit him?! Tell me I didn't hit him Sarge! Is he moving?!

You could see the hard swallow come from Gibbs as he turned towards the exit, glancing quickly over you before looking away. In that split second, you identified exactly what he was feeling. Panic.

"That's enough Abby," you spoke, making her quickly stop the recording in concern. You looked over at Sloan who was also know focused on Gibbs.

"You alright Gibbs?" she asked tentatively.

He cleared his throat and nodded before heading to leave. "Send the recording to DiNozzo and McGee. Have them identify the voices."

As he walked out, he threw his full cup of coffee away in the trash, confirming that something wasn't right. As Sloan made an attempt to follow him, you stopped her.

"I got it. You stay with Abby."

He had almost managed to escape you through the elevators but you threw your arm in between the doors, causing them to open back up as you slipped in.

As the elevator began it's accent, you watched as Gibbs leaned his head back against the wall, eyes shut, and began breathing a bit heavier than before. Knowing, he would never want anyone to see him like this, you hit the emergency stop button and went over to him.

"Gibbs. It's me, y/n. Can you hear me?"

He didn't answer, but instead turned to face the wall, hands gripping the railing till his knuckles were white. You knew at this point, he was fully immersed in a panic attack and couldn't talk. He was now breathing through his mouth, eyes still shut and you knew if you didn't so something, he was gonna start hyperventilating.

So you squeezed yourself underneath his arms so that it was you between him and the wall and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his head down to hear you.

"Jethro, it's me. You're having a panic attack and I need you to slow your breathing for me, alright?"

He shook his head in defiance as his jaw clenched and unclenched.

"Just listen to me. Listen to my voice. You're here with me. We're in the elevator, no one else is here."

You were surprised when he used one arm to wrap around your waist, squeezing you tightly, as the other stayed gripped to the railing.

"I- I can hear them-

Your heart broke at the sound of his voice. He sounded defeated and almost scared, causing you to hold him tighter. Still, you whispered the same words over again, hoping to bring him out of the obvious memory he was reliving.

"You're not there anymore. It's over, you're here now. With me. In the elevator. Bishop is down in the bullpen. Ducky and Palmer are in autopsy. Vance is in his office."

You recited everything to him, describing all the details.

"Just breath with me Jethro. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Keep doing that."

You practiced normal breathing with him until you finally felt some of his body relax. His other hand eventually let go of the railing and joined his other arm to wrap around you. His grip was still tight and his face was buried in the crook of your neck but his breathing was a lot better. Now you began to feel his body start trembling as all the adrenaline was slowly finding ways to leave him.

You knew the worst of it was over and you didn't need to talk anymore, but just hold him and stay with him until he was back in control. You ran your fingers through his hair in the same motion over and over again while making sure to take in deep breaths.

Once you felt his grip loosen and take a step back, you wiped your own tears that had fallen and smiled gently up at him. He quickly wiped his eyes and cleared his throat, obviously somewhat embarrassed about what happened but as he turned to look away from you, you pulled his face towards yours and kissed him.

You heard him sigh into the kiss as he pulled you back into his arms.

"Thank you," he said, moving to nuzzle your neck again.

"Of course. I'll always be there for you Jethro."

The both of you took a few more minutes to pull yourselves together before facing the rest of them team, which you knew were gonna have a lot of questions after Abby filled them in on what happened.

But none of it mattered as you smiled slightly to yourself, feeling closer to Gibbs than ever before.

[matan4il]

Buddie 617 meta

I’m gonna be honest here, this was one of the funniest 911 eps to me. I loved how this ep showed us both Buck and Eddie completely sucking at dating. It was very obvious in Buck’s case, what with each attempt to have quality time with Natalia being ruined by one of his past decisions, but then when he called out Eddie for also sucking at it, Buck wasn’t wrong. Eddie’s attempts seem half-hearted at best. First off, if he really wanted to date, then Tia Pepa’s help and dating apps are actually not that awful as options. Magic might happen there as well. The right person could even stand out more against a sea of not so great choices, turning the dreary experience into a colorful, magical one. But even when Eddie tries on his own, his attempts are LAME. Seriously, there are pastime activities that offer way more potential to start a conversation, and maybe a romance, than the ones Eddie chose. Not only that, these are not his actual hobbies, where he knows he’ll find someone who likes the same thing he does (the way he shares so much with one tall firefighter that we’re all thinking of right now. Eddie’s also being dumb about wanting it to “just happen” as if that’s not exactly what he got with buck. Also, just a friendly reminder that Buddie have been dating for almost 5 years, and they are GREAT at it when it’s with each other).

On top of that, we for real got a guy checking Eddie out (hi, hello, should I start a collection of him checking and being checked out by guys?) as well as him witnessing a woman he was looking at being embraced by another one. Why the hints at being surrounded by queer people? Your guess is as good as mine, but I’m here for it no matter what. ;D Now, I’ve talked before about the ongoing theme of Buddie’s dating life being intertwined in terms of when they start dating someone, or of why they break up, but now in addition to them dating at the same time, we also see them simultaneously sucking at it? Yeah, that takes the connectedness of their dating life up a notch. ~~

Which brings me to one line that grabbed my attention in this ep. THE line that offers the explicit resolution for the most important romantic plot here is the one from Gina, the insurance lady, to Chimney, about not regretting the attempt. Yes, even when the result is bad. That’s what Madney will embrace. One of the biggest obstacles to Buck and Eddie, besides their obliviousness, is the fear of ruining the good thing they have by attempting to take it to the next level. But here we have Chimney being reminded by Gina that it’s worth it, to try. Because the good thing you can have, if it works out? Is worth it. And you never have to live with the “what if” of it all. Now look at Buck and Eddie being once more adorable morons together on the job! Imagine the moment when they stop running around and let themselves try taking it to the next level, because they realize no matter what the result will be, they would never regret the attempt. ~~

Speaking of Buddie paralleling one of the canon couples on the show who were acting lovey dovey in this ep, the way Bobby described what made him and Athena happen reminded me of Buddie connecting. In both cases, there’s an intense and upsetting call, after which one of our first responders turns to find support (Buddie promising to have each other’s back) and comfort (Eddie wants to go grab something to eat together) in the other one. ~~

I did not miss Taylor Kelly, and true to form, she was back because she’s advancing her career by exploiting her personal connection to Buck and the exposure to the 118 it provided her. I’m pretty sure this basically buries any option of any showrunner ever trying to re-set these two as a romance, since it echoed and reinforced Buck’s decision to break up with her. It WAS funny to see her and Lucy cockblock Buck (I do think Lucy’s tone with which she spoke of their past also closes the door on anyone ever trying to set her and Buck up as a serious couple), but what I found to be funniest is that Buck tells Natalia he was trying to figure out the perfect place for their date, and then he took her to the bar where he kissed Lucy. A bar reminiscent of the one where he hooked up with Taylor. Possibly a spot where he hooked with other women during his Buck 1.0 stage based on how it’s THE hang out place for the 118 and we know Buck had no issues hooking up anywhere back then. Natalia, hon. This is not a good sign for your r/s with him. ~~

Speaking of which, there’s an ex who didn’t come back in this ep, but her spirit loomed large over Buck and Natalia IMO, and that is Ali. The reason why she and Buck broke up after 218 is because at the end of the day, she couldn’t accept the choices he had made in his professional life (hoping he would move on from firefighting). In the same way, Natalia revealed in this ep that she can’t accept Buck’s choices in his personal life. A small reminder the only partner we’ve ever witnessed truly seeing and accepting Buck, in every aspect of his life, has been Eddie. ~~

Another funny thing about this (911 is a comedy, y’all) is how Natalia flees the second she comes across Kameron. I mean, this is in addition to the hilarity of the death doula’s first name connecting her to birth and to all things natal, yet she flees the second that she sees a pregnant lady. Because if this is Natalia’s reaction when it comes to a bio kid that Buck explicitly said he is not going to raise, what would she do once she realizes he co-parents a fully grown kid? (and a very sassy one, too. LBR, Natalia doesn’t stand a chance in a show down with either Diaz boy) ~~

Much like Natalia doesn’t seem like the right fit for Buck based on this ep (or based on 616), neither does Marisol. Can I point out the fact that Eddie’s disapproval in the last ep of Buck dating Natalia applies here, too? They both met these women on calls. Second, Eddie wanted it to happen naturally, which is why it’s so lame he tried through all sorts of activities that he’s not ACTUALLY into and wouldn’t continue doing past the initial stage of meeting someone else. And that holds true for Marisol as well. We saw that her brother and her are very into DYI, which I guess was meant to lay the groundwork for Eddie running into her in a DYI shop. But the thing is, Eddie himself isn’t into this! Sure, he can do it, because as a single dad he’s had to, but it’s not something we’ve ever seen him being passionate about. He’s only at this store because of Christopher’s project. And then once more, just like he steps away from Pepa’s help, dating apps and chooses the wost places for a chance romantic connection, he walks away from Marisol even when the whole scene plays out as if she’s the climax of his search throughout this whole ep. This might all hint that despite initial appearances, just like the people he came across while golfing and hiking wouldn’t be the right fit, Marisol wouldn’t be either. Even more importantly, just like Ana at first appeared like she would be perfect for Eddie in 312, starting out in a “it just happened” sort of way and with supposedly being fated because she happened to guess correctly that Eddie stands for Edmundo, this thing with Marisol might look in the moment like it’s exactly what he was looking for, but it will fizzle out as well.

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the incredible @whosoldherout​​, there are no words to describe how much I love your gifs and appreciate you!

~~ Thank you to anyone supporting these meta posts. I could never express enough how grateful I am and that they continue to exist thanks to you!

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Great Shift: Speed Dating

Ok, so dating in your 30s can be hard. Even harder after the world has suddenly decided all of its inhabitants would suddenly swap bodies! If you thought it was hard to truly get to know someone before, it was nearly impossible now. You’d think that the differences and bodies people were exposed too would lead to more emotionally intelligent people, but no. Instead shallow just comes in all sorts of new flavors these days!

-

“Wassup I’m Aidan!.I’m 24, well now I’m 34 due to the shift. And well you can see I’ve got a lot of good assets to show.”

I rolled  my eyes as this wannabe tough guy was trying to impress me. Sure he had an incredibly built body and intricate tattoos, but it was all surface level!

“Nice to meet you Aidan. You go to all of these speed dating events without a shirt?” I asked gingerly sipping my water.

“Only when I’m talking to a handsome guy like yourself.”

Gag. If I had a dime for every post shift hottie said that. 

“Charming. So Aidan tell me about yourself. I mean before the shift what did you do for a living? What do you do now?” I asked.

He scoffs. “I used to be a computer programmer. You know boring office stuff. Then I swapped into this juggernaut and been living at the gym ever since. Quit my old boring work and been trying to become a trainer at my local gym.”

“So let me get this straight. You were able to sustain yourself on a safe indoor office job and now you’re trying to go into  a new occupation you have no experience in because you want to flaunt your muscles?” I inquired further arching my eyebrow.

“Um... when you put it like that...” Aidan stammered looking called out.

“Next!” I rang the bell on the table signalling the rotation and the next person to join my table. 

Aidan slumped his massive 6′5 frame away looking dejected, but as soon as he started flexing to himself he shrugged and moved on. Maybe another guy would like this wannabe muscle guy. I just hope he was so driven by those muscles he’d have the motivation to maintain them. So many people received huge powerful bodies, but without the knowledge to maintain them they just went to waste.

“Hey there sexy? Fred is the name, dating you is my game.” A beefy looking firefighter said, with a burgeoning gut about to strain his suspenders. 

“Wow. Coming on a bit strong Fred. Please. Start from the beginning.  Your name is Fred. Great. What’s with the fire fighter attire? Are you a fire fighter or was your body a fire fighter before the shift?” I asked wincing at this cringe intro.

He smiles and strokes his beard appreciatively while at the same time flexing his beefy arm. “Well I’m not... yet! This body used to be the best firefighter in the district! Then all of a sudden the shift happen and I go from university student studying engineering to the most buff in shape guy with 6 pack abs I’ve ever seen!”

I look down and notice the obvious lack of abs. “Ok. Makes sense... so now you’re trying to  be a firefighter? Just like your body before you. That’s... noble. I’m really glad to see you give back to the community.”

Fred smiled. “Thanks! I’ve been trying for awhile now, but I can’t get through the physical test! It’s like I’m not as strong as the guy who used this body. Weird. Right now I mostly play video games and stream shirtless in these suspenders. My viewers love seeing me. I’m FireXFighter69 on Twitch and YouTube! Check out my video on-”

“Next!” I say ringing the bell once more. 

“Damn. Didn’t work out... are you gonna finish your food there? You hardly touched it.” Fred pointed at the snacks provided at the table.

“Sure Fred. Good luck on your next date.” I said as Fred left with the plate of food.

Some people could be oblivious of their own faults and try way too hard. Am I asking too much for people to just be honest and not hide behind some sort of facade? I get people can be nervous, but it’s certainly better than trying to get to know a character who isn’t even real.

“Hey there bitch!”

“You’re hot as fuck and I know you need a real man to show you how it’s done.” 

I didn’t know how to respond to such an abrupt entrance. I thought Aidan was cringe, but this guy was a whole new level. Flexing in my face, flipping me off, calling me names? Was he trying to neg me in less than 5 minutes?

“I can see you’re stunned by my natural masculinity. I don’t blame you. I’m an older guy given a second chance in this buff young jock. I found myself out of shape at 50 thrown into this guy mid football game. I’m no stranger to the gym so i just buffed myself up even more than that kid could. Now I’m here and ready to fuck you. So. What do you say? Wanna get out of here and ditch all these idiots?”

“Next! Sooo much next! You don’t get to dominate the conversation like this And you are NOT the type for any reasonable person here. I hope you find some sub willing to put up with your shit.” I retorted with a glare.

I see the guy in front of me blanch embarrassed! “Bastard! You’d be lucky to have me. I oughta!” He raised his hand to slam the table! Or me! But soon security escorted him out.

“I.... wow. That’s the worst one to end on. But I might as well go. There are clearly not any guys for me here.” I was about to get up when this cuter guy came over.

“Hello! I... wow. I saw what happened. Great job for standing up to that guy. He seemed like such a creep. I’m Elijah by the way... were you heading out?”

I was caught off guard. This man was so handsome! He wasn’t posturing like the rest, but I still he was making an honest effort despite his trepedation. His voice faltered a bit, but its deep resonate tones made that sound sweet. He was holding himself in a reserved posture, but even as he nervously clasped his hands I could see biceps  raise and strain his shirt.

“I was... but I think I’d like to get to know you. I’m Omar. I just turned away a few guys who were being absolute jerks. How about you? Elijah was it?” I said a bit blushing.

“Yeah! Well I recently graduated post great shift. I finished my last semester at the local community college in a new body. I’m in my neighbors body. Big guy! Great beard, but I’m still getting used to maintaining it. I’ll admit. I’m working part time at the local library till I find a job more suitable for what I studied in school. I’m 22, but my new biological age is 35. I do some painting in my free time and love exploring new parts of the city now that a lot of it has been rebuilt since the shift.” Elijah explained.

“Oh! Have you checked out the bar across town? It used to be a gay bar called The Tank! Now it’s changed its name to The Sea! Since there’s so many more sexualities represented there!” I offered.

“Haha! Love that. That’s clever! The tank has gotten bigger! I get it! I uh... Maybe you and I could continue our conversation there, over drinks?” Elijah blushed.

“I’d like that. Let’s get out of here!” We both stood up and took each others hands. Gosh his were so warm. Not to mention they felt so strong. He’s got quite the grip! I took a few steps so enamored by him I nearly fell, until he caught me in his arms. My face went right across his chest as I looked up to him before standing back up.

“Thanks for the catch. I uh.. Wow. You’ve got quite the cologne. What’s that scent?” I asked so curiously.

“Oh! Sorry!” Elijah was blushing even more. “I’m not wearing any. That’s just how my body smells. Hope it wasn’t bad.”

My eyes widen again. “It’s fine. Perfect actually. I love it. Lead the way Elijah.”

Elijah giggled. Hearing such a deep voice let out something so whimsical was the cutest thing I’ve seen tonight.

“I feel so lucky walking out of this place with you Omar.” Elijah said.

“Oh come on. I’m sure you would’ve found an awesome guy to spend then night with. You’re quite the charmer.” I retorted.

“I’m not the one looking like Henry Cavil!” Elijah laughed.

We both laughed. It was true. Ever since I looked like a celeb dating has been so hard. People try so hard to impress me, that it was such a breath air to talk to Elijah like a normal person. 

“Well tonight I really do feel like the man of steel because you are making me quite hard.” I smirked at Elijah, now blushing to the max.

“I... I... normally cheesy lines like that don’t work on me, but coming for you I.... gosh let’s get to that bar!”

We ended up walking aware from that speed date very satisfied. Perhaps even the hot people need help finding love after the shift. Who knows. I never said I was perfect, but tonight I sure am excited to see how far Elijah and I go!

[starship-buccaneer]

Okay, this might be a stretch, but hear me out: I think all of the future episode titles for this season of 9-1-1 (that we know so far) can be linked to love songs.

"Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" is obviously a reference to Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered famously sung by Ella Fitzgerald. It's a song about being surprised by love, lamenting love but accepting it, and eventually falling out of love. All very interesting, but the obvious point is that this episode was about Buck discovering his feelings - romantic feelings - for someone he wasn't expecting (aka a man).

But I don't think it ends there.

"You Don't Know Me", the title of episode 5, is likely a reference to the alien limb situation (or whatever it's called) that the guy in the preview has going on. But it could also be a reference to the Ray Charles song "You Don't Know Me" which is a song about someone desperately pining for their friend while the friend remains oblivious (and is implied to be with someone else). Now, if I put my clown makeup on, obviously I'm seeing Buddie in neon lights. But either way, I think you can reasonably argue this episode will be focused (at least partially) on Buck's love life and very likely the intersection of Buck's budding gay romance and his friendship with Eddie (as was implied by the preview trailer). Now, whether or not this will eventually lead to Buddie (possibly in season 8) is anyone's guess, but a guy can dream right?

But wait! There's more!

According to the Wikia, "There Goes the Groom" is the title of episode 6, and here is where we really get into conspiracy theory time.

So, there's a Nancy Sinatra song called "There Goes the Bride", and it is yet another old song about someone pining for someone else who is already in a relationship.

There goes the bride

Waste away and long of love

Walking down the aisle

Where I′d like to go

Here goes the groom

Everything that I live for

I love you so

She couldn't love him more

Somehow I knew I′d lose you

And when you left, how I cried

I went away to try to forget him

That's when he met the bride

There goes my love

Only I know what it means

There goes the bride

Down with all my dreams

Somehow I knew I'd lose him

And when he left, oh, how I cried

I went away to try to forget him

That′s when he met the bride

There goes my love

Only I know what it means

There goes the bride

Down with all my dreams

It's a tragic love song, and has overt themes of matrimony. Now, I don't think Eddie is going to be getting married to Marisol anytime soon, but I do think there may be some indication that Eddie is serious about her and that could cause some interesting feelings for Buck (possibly even the beginnings of a realization or hint that Buck does not have entirely platonic feelings for Eddie). The song has this ongoing narrative about loving, losing, trying to move on, then seeing your love find someone else. Which could apply to Buck seeing Eddie with Marisol, moving on with Tommy, and realizing that he can't because he truly does love Eddie. But that's just a theory. (A gay-me theory.)

I do think it's likely that the big 911 call (case? mission? firefighter equivalent?) of the episode has something to do with a wedding/marriage, and that whatever dynamic is going on between the people involved ends up having some connection to Buck/Eddie, Buck/Tommy, and/or Eddie/Marisol's situation (the 911 writers love their thematic parallels afterall). And, with the melancholy tone of the song plus the theme of loss, it's also possible this episode involves some kind of separation, possibly a fight that causes distance between two of the characters (Buck and Eddie perhaps?), but this is all speculation.

Episode 7 is titled "Ghost of a Second Chance". Well, there are no songs titled "Ghost of a Second Chance" that I could find, but there are actually a lot of songs titled "Ghost of a Chance". "Buck, Bothered and Bewildered" proves the writers often change the names of songs a little to make the reference fit their character narrative better, so I'm not throwing my theory to the curb just yet.

At first, I thought the reference may have been to the Rush song "Ghost of a Chance" which is actually a love song. It's about two people finding each other and, despite the narrator/singer not believing in "forever or love as a mystical state", still believing their love could last.

But, in keeping with the older music theme, there's also a Frank Sinatra song called "Ghost of a Chance" or, more accurately, "(I Don't Stand) A Ghost of a Chance"

I need your love so badly I love you oh so madly But I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you I thought at last I found you But other loves surround you And I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you If you'd surrender Just for a tender Kiss or two You might discover That I'm the lover Meant for you And I'd be true

But what's the good of scheming I know I must be dreaming For I don't stand a ghost of a chance with you

What's the good of scheming I know I must be dreaming 'cause I don't stand A ghost of a chance With you

Wow! Yet another song about someone in love and pining for a person who's affections are preoccupied by someone else. How interesting.

Well, if my theory about the previous episode is correct, then it's possible that this episode is about reconciliation and pining. "Ghost of a Second Chance" implies being given the chance to try something again. And with the theme of the Frank Sintra song, pining might also be an ongoing motif. So, if the previous episode involved some type of fight and distancing between Eddie and Buck, then this episode might be about them making up despite Buck's (possible) ongoing inner turmoil (realizing he's in love with his best friend?).

I'm sure I'm practically honking my clown horn at this point, but maybe, just maybe these episode titles really are hinting at Buck's emotional state, and maybe his emotional state is occupied with unresolved feelings of jealousy and devotion directed towards his currently-not-single best friend Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz.

[glowinggator]

Kissing: Calvin "Freckle" McMurray

Pairing: Calvin "Freckle" McMurray/Reader Content Warnings: None!

Rocky's HERE // Mordecai's HERE

Kissing Calvin is like stepping into the ocean for the first time. A brief moment of trepidation, followed by nothing but excitement and, oddly enough, tranquility. The perfect balance that leaves you wanting more, and more, and more. 

Calvin is a naturally nervous man -- plagued by perpetual shyness from an early age, he often has to work himself up to do… much of anything, really. Dating you has emboldened him just a fraction, although the outside world is oblivious to this.

This is all to say that it's very rare that he'll initiate a kiss on his own. Not for lack of wanting, mind you -- he just struggles to make that last leap. But you pick up on his signs pretty quickly, nowadays. 

His eyes bounce to you more often, tail swishing nervously. His eyes will dart to your lips, but he brings them back up so quickly that it makes his desires far too obvious. It's such a rapid motion -- sparked by want, fueled by the anxiety of getting caught -- that it draws more attention to it than if he let his eyes linger. It's cute. He's still not sure how you always seem to figure him out, but you're not going to tell him your secrets any time soon. 

His kisses are… warm. Soft. They feel like home. Every kiss with him feels like your first, in the sense that it always seems to carry that same unspoken weight of "I love you." Sure, many of your kisses happen simply to wrap yourselves in the presence -- the experience -- of one another… and yet, they always feel meaningful. 

Maybe it's the way that he always seems to linger when you pull apart, or maybe it's the way he looks at you afterwards, or maybe it's the way he always seems to be caught breathless. Maybe it's just him. 

As he gets more comfortable in your relationship he loves to hold you more -- cupping your face tenderly, or loosely holding onto your arm. His hands don't roam too much once they settle, but he always drags his thumb gently across the skin. 

He often finds himself leaning back in once you pull apart, shaky breath fanning over your lips for a second that feels like a lifetime before the distance is closed once again. He loves you a lot -- let him be selfish, just this once. 

Very sad when he doesn't get his "good morning" kiss. It's such a crucial part of his routine, and his day just feels off without it. It's the one time he'll actually speak up for affection… even if his "speaking up" is just him giving you the most adorable, disgruntled pout. Did you forget something? I think you might have forgotten something. He gets this bashful little smile when you figure it out. 

There's only two times where his kisses aren't soft. 

When there's been a good firefight, and when there's been a bad firefight. 

The adrenaline from the former has him dragging you in for once, hands gripping anywhere they can, as he steals your breath away. It's so distant from the Calvin you've come to know, and it's fucking exhilarating. Your lips meet once, then twice, thrice… he hardly gives you a moment to breathe, not that you're complaining. He has the faintest bits of laughter spilling from his lips when he pulls away, but it's not long before you're pulling him back in. He'll be embarrassed about it later, but for now, he's content to enjoy the moment. 

The latter however… Once he knows you're okay and safe he's pulling you in for one long, borderline bruising, kiss. He has to know you're okay. He has to know you're here. He clings to you, like you'd disappear if he didn't hold you tight enough. He gets a little more lax with his affections after moments like these. You never know when life might intervene, and he can't stand the idea of missing out on even a moment of your affections. And in this line of business… He doesn't want to think about it. 

[tillwehavefaces]

I have literally never posted about Buddie before, but I want to add my two cents to the whole Buck/Tommy debate. I know there are mixed feelings and both sides have valid points, but to those who were expecting a Buddie kiss this soon - I don't get it?

Ever since I found out abc had picked up 911, I was and remain cautiously hopeful for Buddie endgame - in fact, the kiss makes me far more hopeful than I was a week ago. Because the truth is that if they'd gone straight for Buddie, it would have been bad storytelling. Offensively bad storytelling.

Hear me out. I agree with y'all that the storytelling that's happened up until now makes it clear that Buddie are in love with each other. I also happen to think that the storytelling that's happened up until now makes it clear that neither of these himbos have any clue that they're in love with each other, or that they even could fall in love with a man.

And it's not for lack of opportunity, if the writers had wanted to go that way, obviously! There's was Buck's reaction to Eddie being stuck in the well and Eddie making Buck Christopher's guardian in his will and both of them almost dying and Eddie having a literal breakdown over all the trauma he's repressed and they've both been to therapy and they've both broken up with women who were all wrong for them ... I could go on and on.

But not only did the writers not take any of these opportunities to make at least one of them realize their feelings for the other might not be platonic (certainly, no explicit indication on screen), but because fox was so afraid of losing viewers if they made both their supposedly straight male firefighters queer, they doubled down on Eddie and Buck seeing their relationship as platonic. Every time one of them went through some kind of life-changing experience and questioned deeply held beliefs about themselves yet never questioned their sexuality, it made it seem less and less likely that *anything* would make them realize they might be queer and in love with their best friend.

Honestly, I think if abc had gotten the show at a different point, they might have been able to go straight into Buddie. For example, a season earlier? Eddie's just gotten through a ton of trauma with the help of a therapist and is returning to the 118, and it would've been easy to write a storyline where he's realized his feelings for Buck and tries to do something about it. Or maybe right after Buck's near-death experience. But they both got through those traumas and started dating new women, as oblivious to the love right in front of them as ever. And that's how S6 ended.

So I don't think there's anything abc could have done to convince me that either one of them suddenly realizes how they feel without something happening. If that Buck/Tommy kiss had instead been a Buddie kiss, I would have loved it, but I wouldn't have really believed it. It wouldn't have felt genuine.

Excuse my nerdy science brain, but it's like inertia - Buck and Eddie have both been going in one direction for so long (the 'we're straight best friends!' direction) that it's going to take some kind of force to knock them off that path. It can't be near death experiences, cause they've both been there and it hasn't worked. It can't be finding new girlfriends or breaking up with said girlfriends. No, it's gotta be something really obvious.

That force is Tommy. A canon gay character who recognizes Buck as queer even when Buck doesn't recognize himself as queer. Who (unknowingly) forces Buck to confront that part of himself by kissing him, which will in turn force Eddie to confront his feelings and reaction to seeing his best friend and co-parent now dating a man. I can't say for sure that Buddie is coming, but I honestly think this (not Tommy specifically, but a queer man who is outside the whole Buddie situation) is the only way to tell this story in a way that makes it feel true to life, given the mess that fox created.

[sibylsleaves]

so btw i have this friend whom is gay and a firefighter in Miami and we watched s7 together again, he does not like tommy but that's beside the point. So we get to the madney wedding episode and when tommy says that he didn't dress up because he was on call my friend literally was like "the guys full of shit. nobody cares how you dress up coming into a shift even if you're on call, you literally change out of whatever clothes you come in to your uniform at work. he's lying because he just didn't feel like dressing up." so yeah my friend called tommy's ass out for lying also not a fan of him consistently undermining buck like with the medal and then saying that stupid line about your fathers still alive. also he thinks it's obvious bucks in love with eddie but is to oblivious to realize what's right in front of him. i asked him why he doesn't like tommy and he's basically saying "he's just the first queer relationship for Buck and he's just boring. I still am friends with the guy that helped me come out but yeah no....absolutely not."

anon im obsessed with your gay firefighter friend from miami ngl.

also i feel like we all know that not dressing up has nothing to do with tommy being on shift. like obviously he has a uniform anyway and is not just showing up to pilot helicopter in his civilian clothes?? is that actually his excuse or is that just what fandom came up with i can't remember?

also WHAT is with the "your father's alive" line lmao like when I heard it I was like why does that line sound so bad. it's like the weirdest flattest reply to what buck was telling him. it honestly bothered me so much more than him wearing a henley (whatever, i dont like dressing up either) or even saying "enjoy it while it lasts" which i honestly didnt even pay attention to when i was watching the episode the first time (then again i watched that episode on a plane and the stream was extremely glitchy so it's also possible i just missed the line entirely). But "your father's alive" was just like. THAT'S your takeaway????

anyway yeah buck is allowed to have a safe boring boyfriend as his first queer relationship i GUESS

[rwprincess]

Blinded Me With Science (Fred Benson x Reader): Chapter Two

Masterlist

Previous (Part One)

Next (Part Three)

Word Count: 1.1K

Synopsis: Part/Chapter 2. Spending time with Fred at The Weekly Streak as he explains his conspiracy theories behind Hawkins. He also makes you an offer you can’t refuse.

CW:  reference to Season 3 carnage/death; light swearing

"Wow. It feels like being on hallowed ground," you said quietly as Fred led you into the school's newspaper office. He had met you in the hallway prior and summoned you through the door. 

"You really are funny," he said with an amused smile, "it's not that big of a deal. To me, anyway. This…this is home." He gave a little shrug and looked at the space fondly, the soft adoration in his eyes making you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was obvious that this was his passion and you were inside his literal comfort zone, which only made it feel more holy to be included in. 

It was just the two of you in this inner sanctum, which was probably good because Fred said he had top-secret research to show you. "Ok, here, have a seat," he indicated a stool in front of a high-top desk. "I'll be right back." You took the seat gingerly and looked around. There were large bookshelves filled with encyclopedias, dictionaries, and archives. You wondered if every issue of The Weekly Streak was maintained here or if they were recycled at some point. Fred startled you with his return, dropping some large binders onto the desk before you. "Sorry, that was loud," he said sheepishly as he noticed you jump.

"That's okay I was just…looking at stuff. Distracted, I guess? I've never been here, but it's admirable. Feels kind of like an old library. Peaceful but…I don't know. Haunting? Stoic?" You trailed off, not sure of the right word, seeking it among the stacks and worn tile; you were oblivious to the gentle look Fred gave you. One of recognition, seeing his own thoughts and feelings reflected in you before he snapped out of it.

"Right, well. You ready to take the dive?" He asked, voice dropping low as if he were afraid someone would hear, but you figured it was more for dramatic effect and you appreciated that. "So, there's things that don't add up to me. A big one is how Chief Hopper died there before the fire department could respond. Why would the police be there before firefighters if it was really just a fire or an explosion? And then there's the fact he's only presumed dead. They never found a body…which reminded me of," he grunted as he pulled another tome onto the table and cracked it open, "this case. Remember how they had a funeral and buried this kid, Will Byers, before he turned up alive?"

 "Yeah, I remember." You ran your fingers over the old article in the book and nodded, as you did recollect that case. It was so weird at the time, and you vaguely knew his brother, Jonathan Byers. You felt so sorry for his loss and he was clearly devastated, especially as Will had been missing beforehand. And then he suddenly reappeared. But that was years ago and wasn't really at the forefront of your mind right now. No, Fred had been occupying those thoughts, especially since he was seated so closely to you right now.

"Well, in another weird twist, guess who moved right after Star Court burned down?" He asked and tapped the photo of Will on the article stating he'd been found alive. You hadn't really noticed that Jonathan wasn't enrolled this year. He was an easy person to miss: quiet and not in your year. "From what I gather, they moved all the way across the country. California. His girlfriend, I mean, Jonathan's girlfriend, Nancy Wheeler?" He paused to see if you knew the name and you nodded. Nancy had made more of a splash than Jonathan. She was hard not to notice, really. "Nancy works on the paper, here. She and Jonathan used to work or intern or whatever at The Post. She's never said it, but I get the feeling she was there that night. At Star Court."

"Really? Why?" 

"I don't know. She just…gets this really far-off stare if it's ever brought up. Or anything that happened there or because of it. I mean, no one really likes to talk about the kids who died there or over the summer. But she seems almost like she takes it personally."

"Is that your journalistic observation?" You asked, trying to lighten the mood a little. 

"Exactly." He replied, adjusting his glasses in an ordinary way that you found mesmerizing. 

“So you think all of these things are connected? And I’m guessing Nancy won’t say anything, right?”

“I haven’t really asked her,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “it seems like an off-limits subject. You know, taboo? And we’re not really that close. Maybe someday I could ask her but…”

“Definitely not yet.” You agreed and he nodded.

“As for how it comes together…I’m kind of at a loss. I think it’s weird for any place to have a dead-and-buried kid show up alive but a sleepy small town like Hawkins? That’s even more outrageous. And it feels like that’s when it all started. Like, that’s the first really out-of-place thing that’s happened. Maybe they’re not connected. Maybe it’s just a string of coincidences and uncanny events but it stood out to me right away. I just feel like maybe they are all linked, ya know?” You nodded even if you weren’t entirely sure what he was talking about. There was just something about Fred that made whatever he said so…agreeable. He seemed confident, even when admitting he had no clue, and you fell right into believing him instantly.

“Anyway, this is just something I do in my spare time. Keep the research reflexes sharp.” He began to change gears and morphed his topic, “You know what the paper is missing, though? Something science-based. It’s all sports and superficial movie or show reviews. Would you maybe…I don’t know, maybe be interested in submitting an article? Like do an experiment and write how it went or something?”

“I’m not really sure. I don’t know if I’m a good enough writer to really make it into the paper.”

“Don’t worry too much about that. I mean, I’m sure you’re fine, but that’s where I come in. I’m an ace editor, you know.” He raised an eyebrow and lessened the tension. You could tell he was joking, at least he was being hyperbolic in his ‘bragging,’ so you laughed lightly. “Is that a yes? That sounds like an agreement to me,” he asked, eyes boring into yours. You took a moment, studying him and weighing the options. You were unsure and nervous about the prospect, but he looked so eager and encouraging, you really couldn’t say no.

“What the hell? Why not. I can try.”

“That’s the spirit!” He grinned back in your direction. 

Next (Part Three)

[capseycartwright]

“i don’t feel safe here anymore. nowhere feels safe.”

ao3 link 

Eddie could feel the panic attack starting – it wasn’t like one of the ones he’d been getting recently, quick, and unexpected, hitting him out of nowhere with the force of a freight train. No, this one had been slow, bubbling underneath the surface from the moment Eddie had woken up, drenched in cold sweat and trying to shake off the remnants of yet another nightmare. This one had taken hold, as Eddie had tried his best to get Christopher ready for school, Buck slipping in to help with a disconcerting familiarity, as much a part of the Diaz family morning routine as Eddie himself was.

This panic had bloomed in his chest, as he’d sat in the passenger seat of Buck’s jeep and watched as the streets of LA – streets he had once thrived in, once found so comforting and homely and his, sent spikes of sheer terror down his spine. He’d loved LA, but that had been before he’d been gunned down in the middle of the street and everything good about his life here suddenly felt unsafe – what if someone else, with a vendetta against firefighters decided they were going to start shooting? And what if Eddie didn’t get so lucky the next time?

Streets that had once promised a fresh start, and a new family, and a career he loved, now terrified Eddie.

“I was thinking,” Buck began, eyes on the road and so oblivious to Eddie’s panic. The traffic was heavy – and normally, Eddie would lean back in his seat and relax while Buck navigated the busy roads and they’d talk, and laugh, and contemplate moving out of the city and starting over somewhere where traffic wasn’t even a possibility – but today, Eddie felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Maybe we could stop somewhere and grab a coffee?” his suggestion was a perfectly mundane, innocent one, one that Eddie would nod and agree to, in normal times, but today, it sort of made him want to vomit.

Eddie shook his head. “Can we – can we just go home?” he hated how desperate he sounded, as he spoke, his voice shaking as he managed to string a sentence together for the first time in more than an hour.

Buck glanced across the car, forehead creased with worry – that much was obvious, even underneath Eddie’s sunglasses, which Buck had stolen and Eddie didn’t have the heart to take back, because Buck looked better in them anyway.

“Eddie are you okay?” he asked, and – no, of course Eddie wasn’t fucking okay. He was terrified, and he couldn’t breathe, and he couldn’t move, and he was stuck in this stupid sling and he just wanted to be back in the safety of his own home.

“I just – I want to go home,” Eddie admitted, hating how tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke. “Please, Buck, I want to go home.”

Buck looked sympathetic. “Eds – the traffic,” he gestured vaguely. “We’re at least forty minutes out from your place.”

Eddie couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He needed to get out of this car and off this street, and he couldn’t breathe. His vision blurred, and suddenly the car was moving and Buck was pulling out of traffic, and down a random residential street, throwing the car into park and jumping out of the driver’s seat.

“Buck?”

“I’m here,” Buck’s voice was on his other side, now, the car door open and Buck pushing Eddie’s seat back far enough so Buck could kneel in front of him. “I’m here, Eddie,” he reassured. “You’re having a panic attack. Okay? That’s all. You just need to breathe with me – in, and out. That’s it, nice and slow. You’ve got this, Eddie, you’re okay.”

Eddie felt his breathing slow, his heartrate just about returning to normal. Buck was kneeling in front of him, hands on Eddie’s knees, a worried look on his face, and all Eddie could do was burst into hysterical tears.

“Oh, Eddie,” Buck’s voice was soft, and he moved, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist, holding him close. “Eddie, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Eddie managed to hiccup out, holding onto Buck tightly with his good arm, heart aching as he realised Buck was leaning heavily on his own bad knee so he wasn’t putting any weight on Eddie’s injured side. “I don’t feel safe anymore. Nowhere feels safe,” he admitted, voicing his fears out loud for the first time. He hadn’t told anyone else, how bad he was feeling, and now it was spilling out and he couldn’t stop it.

“Hey, that’s okay,” Buck’s voice was soft as he wiped away Eddie’s tears, his expression sincere. “You’re allowed to not feel safe right now, because you got shot, Eddie – no one is going to judge you for not feeling your best.”

Eddie shook his head, hiccupping out another sob. “Everything terrifies me,” he admits, shaking his head. “Leaving the house terrifies me – being in the car terrifies me. I just want to stay in bed and crawl under the covers and never move again because every single time I do, it feels like – it feels like my entire fucking chest is collapsing in and I can’t breathe, Buck.”

Buck’s own eyes were watery. “That’s okay,” he repeated, wiping at Eddie’s face with his sleeve. “God – Eddie, for weeks, after the bombing, I would think about visiting you guys at the station, and then I’d realise that I’d have to see the ladder truck, and I couldn’t do it. It’s normal – to be scared, to feel like this. You know something, though?”

Eddie shook his head.

“I’m here with you,” Buck reminded. “I’m in it with you, Eddie – so if you want to go home, and crawl under the covers, I’ll be right there with you, and when you decide you’re feeling up to venturing out, and getting a coffee, or going for a walk, I’m right there with you too. Okay?”

Eddie felt like his breathing was finally slowing down to a normal rate. “I can’t ask you to give up your life because I’m fucked up, Buck.”

“Here’s the thing, Eddie,” Buck’s voice was soft. “You are my life. You, and Christopher – you’re the centre of my universe. So I’ll be here, every single day for the rest of our lives. Okay? Good days, and bad days – I’ll always be here.”

Eddie felt like a child, as he looked at Buck – his best friend in the end world – and spoke. “Promise?” he asked, his voice tiny.

Buck smiled, hooking his pinky finger around Eddie’s, softly kissing where their fingers were joined. “I promise, Eds.”

[batattta]

destiel fic recs pt.4

heeeeeere we go again

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

part 4/?

new testament 'verse (15 works, 47k, g-m) the most underrated work imho. i have no words to describe this one. it makes me FEEL. sad cas, sweet caring dean, singer salvage, domesticity. one of my all time favorites

rivers and roads (3k, g) cas hitchhiking his way home after the fall. they are the sweetest boys

entertaining strangers (9k, e) cas tells dean about his threesome. just. wow. OCs in this one are the best.

the walk series (196k, e, AU) dean turns tricks and one day he meets cas. who is religious and sad and married. i loved how all their found family came together in this one. 

seek to know you better (27k, e) they are on a road trip and play “36 questions to fall in love”. cute

some boys are sleeping alone (4k, m) dean and his sexuality. very very sad

command me to be well (28k, e) not an obvious one of 15.18 fix-its

after a storm (10k, m) where dean doesn't tell cas to leave bunker in season 9 (as it should have been)

there’s only one sure thing that i know (20k, e) dean and cas get stuck in ohio. very old one. beautifully written 

elemental (600, g) “the man who would be king” coda

the best bang for your buck (6k, m) cas finds dean’s profile on sex toys website. this is so funny

the gambler (4k, t) dean retires. with cas. sam is oblivious. the fluffiest fluff

i saw the heavens and the earth cry over you (3k, m, mcd) why do i do this to myself? hah. i don't even want to recommend this one, but i have to, i’m sorry. read at you own risk. cas becomes human. his body starts to slowly shut down. incredibly sad.

things dean winchester loves (3k, m) so cute. cas makes a list. 

story time (1k, g) dean and cas retire. they tell stories to local kids.

string lights (2k, g) christmas fic. i love the atmosphere 

you and me in the war of the end times (5k, e) remember i told about shotgunning? yeah.

the face at the end of the hall (3k, t) psychological horror. short and sad. 

things happen (they do, they do, and they do) (28k, e) my favorite one of 15.18 fix-its. dean is a repressed bean.

flowers in the backyard (34k, e, AU) awwwww. love this one. dean inherits bobby’s cabin, cas is homeless and made the cabin into his home.

prosopagnosia (32k, t, AU) dean is a firefighter, cas works in gas-n-sip and can’t recognize and memorize faces. 

on vessels (2k, g) cas tells dean that he wanted him to be his vessel

holding this in mind (13k, e) yeah, well um this one is 13k words about fisting. but it’s such a tender fic. more like character study, than smut, truly. 

death of the author (7k, e) post-15.18, first time fic. soooooo cute. 

special mention, aileenrose’s little AUs. they are so special and unique and writing is *chefs kiss*. my favorites:

every dog has its day (12k, m) dean meets homeless cas, they rescue a puppy.

a case for evolution (9k, m) plumber dean, anthropologist cas. they are nerds. nerds in love.

love, take your toll (9k, t) this one owns my heart. lonely toll collector cas and motorist dean. unbelievably tender fic. i wanted to hug cas so much

all that is gold does not glitter (8k, m) jeweler cas, dean comes to collect sam’s wedding rings. cas thinks it's dean who’s getting married. dumbies.

an exploration of habitat (11k, m) cas is a protester who lives in a tree. dean is afraid of heights. last lines made me weep. this fic made me feel so happy, oh god watch and learn, cw

[matan4il]

Buddie 604 meta

I feel like I deserve a medal for not making a joke about how, since it was implied in 401 that Eddie stayed at Buck’s during the pandemic, we know at some point Buck will have two ex-roommates who want his body fluids. XD ~~

It’s maybe a small thing, but I enjoyed seeing Ramon advise Eddie on his issue with Chris. It was a lovely callback to their promise in 517 to work on improving their relationship, and it also showed really nice insights from Ramon. I loved it! It’s a nice reminder that 911 for the most part doesn’t vilify people, even when it doesn’t shy away from their faults and failures. It’s also proof this is a show that doesn’t drop things once a storyline seems to have wrapped. I adore that about 911, and I also think it makes every single meaningful thing we’ve witnessed even more significant, because we know the show will return to it sooner or later. Like maybe certain scenes between a couple of firefighters? Maybe... ~~

Buck and Eddie exchanging a meaningful look over seeing this oblivious moron in love at the scene of the ep’s first call is giving me life. The wordless communication, the implied sass, the way they’re so in sync, the irony of them being exactly like him except less aware of their own feelings even if they are more aware of propriety. They’re not even teamed up together, because Chim needs Eddie’s medic experience as long as Hen’s still captain, and yet... Buddie are our hopeless romantic idiot kings, while 911 could give entire courses on how to showcase soulmates in less than a minute. ~~

A continuation of that can also be seen in another call. When Buck recklessly hops on the bike to chase and stop a car by almost getting himself killed in order to save Chim, right away we have Eddie calling out after him. He’s so exasperated with his work husband, he’s not even yelling in order to stop Buck, Eddie’s resigned to his husband’s ways. But a good husband still has to shake his head, much like we saw Eddie doing when Buck boldly insisted on the rope rescue in 316. It’s a part of their love language. ~~

All of that stands in contrast with the rest of the ep, where we don’t get to see Buck and Eddie being their usual self, meaning iconic life partners. The thing is, absence can be loud, and something that really makes this absence stand out rather than fly under the radar is contrast. In other words, we’re meant to notice the absence. That loudness is even amplified with the only scene in this ep where we have Buddie interacting in connection to their personal life. Even though they don’t actually get to consult each other, as they usually do, there’s a lot of intimacy there! For starters, Eddie’s surprised that Buck isn’t weighing in on the new issue with Chris.

This is so uncharacteristic, and we only need to think of the way Buck jumped right in with his objections about summer camp in 318 to see the difference. Eddie also believes that there are things Chris may tell Buck but not him. This man is shown throughout this ep having trouble letting go as his son is growing up to be his own person, and yet the one exception Eddie takes no exception to (sorry, bad pun, I know) is Chris filling Buck in on how he’s really doing. Eddie actually expects that to be the case. It’s a subtle, but oh so real acknowledgement that Buck is Christopher’s other dad and that the two of them have a bond that is not limited to the relationship either one of them has with Eddie. I love it. And lastly, of course Eddie can tell something’s up with Buck, troubling him. But it’s also obvious that Buck’s not ready to talk about it yet, with his quick denial of “no secrets here,” so Eddie, like the good husband that he is, lets him be.

Them suddenly dealing with their personal lives separately very much reminds me of basically the mood of most of season 5a. Buck was kept busy with Taylor and away from Eddie, who ended up struggling with how to be a good parent to Chris without the help of his biggest support, his life partner. It led to Eddie making a rash decision that we all knew he would have to find a way back from. If that’s not enough to make us realize Buck’s decision at the end of this ep is probably the wrong one, we also have him being drunk while getting drunk advice from Hen. The last time that happened (and only other one we saw on screen)? When Buck spiraled in 511 over Eddie leaving, and did something rash and foolish.

I tend to think that’s what we’re going to see with Buck now as well. I already was of the opinion that it doesn’t fit Buck as a person, he just cares too much to be the guy who can walk away. His history with Daniel might influence him to wanna help, do for these parents what he couldn’t for his own, but if he does recognize that connection, could he really help bring a new “Daniel” into this world and then... never have anything to do with that kid? But what makes me even more convinced that this decision will be reversed is the build up, showing Buck coming to this conclusion without consulting the one person he actually already shares his life (and a kid) with, and the way it parallels that storytelling structure we saw in s5. In addition, even the way he verbalized it makes me think this is meant to be seen as the wrong decision. Buck is on this journey to figure himself out, yet at the end of the day his decision to say yes isn’t about himself at all, it’s about Connor and his wife. This is who Buck has always been, the guy putting others ahead of himself. There’s nothing wrong with his big heart and generosity! But in an ep called “Animal Instincts,” this has always been he’s instinct. Now he’s meant to learn to balance it with looking after himself and his own happiness, too. So I might be wrong, but I don’t see it ending here. Taylor was a r/s Buck had to have in order for him to learn how to be the one who leaves, now Connor came to him with this request, and we’re gonna get to see him learning to say no. And just like Buck was a part of Eddie finding his way back during season 5b from his wrong decision, that temporary distance between them leaving them closer than ever, so I expect Buck’s sperm donor arc to be resolved with Eddie’s support and with the two of them getting even closer.

~~ Thank you so much for reading this! And for every reblog and like! If you’re interested in catching up, you can find my 603 meta and more on my blog. Thank you to the incredible @whosoldherout who tops posting her amazing gifs every week with providing some more for my meta.

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

4 times Buck and Eddie pretend to have sex to get rid of someone + 1 time there's no need to pretend

prompt

1) Shannon Diaz

You see, the first time it happened it was totally an accident and misunderstanding (not that Eddie complains how the things turned out in the end).

Shannon just showed up after leaving Christopher (and him) a few years ago. And it seems like she not only wanted to see Chris but expected to get back together with Eddie like there’s no bad blood between them. And that was a firm Nope. No, he does not want to have anything to do with her. He’s not sure he wants to let her into Christopher’s life after her abrupt leave. For Christ’s sake, she didn’t even call to check how their son is doing! What did she expect? A warm welcome? He ranted about this to Buck.

So, the second time she shows up, unannounced, might he add, Buck is conveniently at Diazes’ house. Both of them just came back from 24 hour shift. Chris is at Abuela’s still. So when Shannon comes over she did not expect the half naked guy to open the door to her (technically) husband’s house. He looks like he just came out of the shower and before she can say (yell) anything (like “who the hell are you and what are you doing here undressed like that?”) Eddie comes from down the hall in only a fucking towel.

Eddie: Cariño, who’s there?

Shannon is speechless. She knows enough Spanish to understand this. In all the time that they were together Eddie never called her sweetheart. And by the looks of it she does not need any context here, it’s pretty much obvious what they were doing.

She leaves abruptly without a word, forgetting to ask after Christopher. It is obvious that their marriage is officially over.

Both men quickly guessed to what conclusion she might have came. It was hilarious. And incredibly convenient for Eddie. Buck didn’t mind the assumptions at all.

2) Taylor Kelly

The second time it happened because Buck panicked. Taylor Kelly was at the station. Eddie is not a fan, Buck is not as well. She shamelessly flirts with Buck ignoring the fact that he looks extremely uncomfortable because of her attention. The reporter just does not get a hint. Buck hides in a locker room, that’s where Eddie finds him. He’s freaking out and practically begs Eddie to help him to get rid of Taylor. And Diaz is totally on board with that (not to mention that he might have sought Evan with familiar suggestion).

Eddie just finished working out which helps to reinforce their act. His hair is sticking out like someone ran their fingers through it. And he’s flushed and sweaty, perfect. Buck, though, doesn’t look convincing. So Eddie has some ideas™. They’ve been friends for a few months and they got close quickly. Some might say they ended up real close. They liked to kid around and were shameless and sometimes had no boundaries concerning each other. It felt natural. So Eddie gave Buck some hickeys, both of them giggling the whole time while doing it. Buck gave Eddie some too, you know, to make it look real.

After the dynamic duo’s impromptu departure and then their sudden appearance, firefighters of 118 took a note of how Taylor Kelly was pissed and acted even more bratty than before. She stopped chasing (because that’s what it looked like) Buck and left station with her crew soon after. The team sighed in relief.

No one said anything about hickeys because everyone is used to Buddie’s weird behavior.

3) Abby Clark

The third time, Buck was a bit oblivious when it happened. After Abby came back to LA, and with a fiancé no less, Buck was moody. Not because he missed her (that ship sailed a long time ago), but because he was annoyed and pissed at her behavior. He talked at length with Eddie about his abandonment issues and how Abby contributed to it.

She wanted to talk. Buck did not. Abby kept calling Buck a few times a day but he never picked up.

Then one evening, after a long shift, Eddie and Buck were hanging out at his loft. Evan was a bit distracted at the moment. You see, his bad leg was hurting so Eddie was giving him a massage, it was a normal occurrence. So when Abby fucking Clark called again Buck wasn’t mindful of what kind of sounds he made or what he was saying while answering.

Eddie: Is this ok?

Buck: Of course it is! Fuck, don’t stop, Eddie.

Buck asked what did she want and please, stop calling me, I’m busy.

Abby was mortified. She finally left Evan Buckley alone. Her apologies were too late and not needed anymore.

Though Buck was oblivious at first, Eddie certainly knew what he was doing and how did it sound to Abby. He was a little bit petty, so what? Plus when Buck realized what did they sound like they lost it again. It was like that time with Shannon. When they told the team about it they lost it too, for different reasons though.

4) Ana Flores

The fourth and last time it happened, it turned real.

Eddie was seeing Ana for a few short months, frankly speaking, he didn’t know why he asked her out. She was pretty (not completely his type tho) and nice at first, then she started to act snobbish. They had nothing in common, and she creeped him out after their math date™ or whatever the fuck she tried to turn it into. Ana was pushy about being intimate when he hadn’t felt any sort of attraction to her. He thought maybe it was because she was practically a stranger and they needed time, but she was adamant on getting into his pants and he noped right out of this, because fuck if he was going to let someone to pressure him into doing anything he didn’t want to.

He told Buck about this shit and he suggested to break this thing off and fast, this is not healthy.

So Eddie broke up with Ana the morning the shooting happened after she snooped around on GoFundMe site. Evan was aware of the break up.

So imagine Eddie’s frustration when he was getting discharged and Ms Flores thought it was a brilliant idea to show up and try to convince him to start over.

Eddie got the message from Hen that Ana was coming to his room at the hospital (let’s say Hen was there restocking the ambulance when she noticed her). Buck was trying to help Eddie dress into sweatpants when the door opened and Eddie had a second to come up with their usual plan of making people to fuck off. He put his hand on Buck’s neck and quietly asked him to play along.

Ana determined to make Edmundo see reason and get back together was quite shocked at what she saw. Evan (his best friend, she should have known) was on his knees before Edmundo who definitely wasn’t wearing pants and moving his head quite enthusiastically, while Edmundo looked down with the dark eyes and the hottest expression on his face (she wished he looked at her like that). She should have known this was the reason he was so harshly refusing to get intimate with her. Edmundo was fooling around with Evan this whole time! How many times did they do this behind her back? How dare they?

And yeah, Ms Flores never entertained the thought that she might have been the problem all along and she had some creepy vibes (many of her exes can attest to that).

Embarrassed and angry that another one of her relationships ended in disaster, she stormed away.

The thing is that during their little play Buck actually slipped Eddie’s boxers off, not that Eddie minded. They promptly forgot about Ana or anything else.

----

If someone’s interested in writing this, please tag me when you’re done.

[jeekyl]

Station19 : 6x02 : Are station19 ok ?

The obvious theme on this episode and the last one is clearly Maya and Jack the two messed up people of this station. But are They ?

TW : mention of sexual assault  Because believe me when i say, Vic is next into spiraling out of control. She being all “ oh Carina married Maya without knowing that she’s a blackmailler” bitch  shut up, you’re next. You know what Karma is ? watch it. , jesus, Vic honey why are you opening up your mouth ? why ? she hide her pregnancy, she spend her time lying and being oblivious and she open her mouth gossiping ? why ? just shut up. That all i have to say. Beside the fact that she is insecure and selfish too. Wanna talk about the time you didn’t care about Theo’s feeling? Your body, your choice, won’t argue it, won’t dispute it, it’s you’re right. When theo talk to her, she didn’t care. And basically theo said “ i cried, because i was hurt you ignore me and left me out”. But Vic espect the other shoe to drop, but why ? Is it because you know that you left him out of you decision ? again your body your choice but at least talk to your patner, say “ listen i don’t want a child right now, maybe  later,  but for now i’m not ready, can you accept that?”  

Travis is being out there stating over and over again the same thing while his station encourages him while ignoring what he is saying. Jesus. Travis have always said he want to run for mayor to steal vote from dickson, great name for a great pun. He never said he wanted to be mayor, he said i want to run for mayor so dickson can’t be, can be any other person. 

Amusing how Ross use it and the firefighter names to provoke dickson. Jack is just out of control but he has being for a while, for those who missed it, rewatched it will be obvious. dude learn he is a bother an uncle, wanted to rekindle with his foster sibling but failed miserably, understandably i must say, being in the foster system is never kind, he literally admit that he was sexually abused so.. there’s that,  Carina was abuse mentaly and sexually because it was the theme of the day. Sorry but at this point if Maya goes to a therapist and say that her father abused her more than physically i will not be surprise, she start to spiraled after Andy’s attacked, so there’s that.  Beside Carina trying for a child which doesn’t help that Maya is going out of hand and hurting. She’s scared, hurt, fells like being rejected, inside and out, literally. So yeah she’s hurting and still in control somewhat. Watch out for Italian women they are strong. I think that she’s hurt that, her wife doesn’t trust her enough to tell her something as important as the backmailled, but more importantly, why Maya wants to be captain. For her it’s because Maya  have a goal that she have to obtain. But : Something Carina doesn’t get or at least don’t understand, Maya have choose her. Yeah she reverted back to her old self, but Maya have made Carina her priority. Her captaincy is because being a person or people pleaser isn’t easy to get ride off. But Maya did choose her, She doesn’t care if she’s promoted back to probe as long as it’s fair. Her demotion isn’t fair. Her watching sullivan and beckett being at each other throat for the post is just ridiculous at this point. Yeah beckett is sober, allegedly, but how can we know ? Andy did most of the work as much as captain and as a lieutenant. Maya at this point barely care about her job, she cares that she his helping and that her wife is happy, and now ? none of that works. She’s demoted for unfairly reason, she pointed out the obvious ( do we need to talk about the time she call Diane for help for the death of George Floyd because she didn’t know how to help and clearly her team was affected or are we going to ignore that?) She see her team, but right now she can’t see them because the team is a wreck, the team is messed up, all because, she decided that saving a life was more important than a lawsuit, that they would win btw. She was saving a life, like a doctor would do. Like a fucking firefighter is supposed to do. Anyway. She prioritize a life over paper. At what point did fighting fire and being a paramedic come over paper ? i don’t know, ask Travis. He would know either anyway. She did nothing wrong, but she is punish, and right now she is pushed back into her childhood where her father would treat her unfairly and smash a boll into the wall because she help someone in needs. Ring a bell ? If not, re watch. Pretty sure you’ll see it. Someone point out that Maya isn’t that bad, and that her treatment is more or less unfair. She help a life, and got blame for it, she was so aware that she saw what no one else saw, and Ross as long as sullivan deny it, and beckett who was drunk during work, brought out by sullivan got away with it with nothing. Sullivan, beckatt and at this point Ross is in the wrong and they still think they are right.  That communication. And Fuck these people need to talk. Bring Back Diane for the love of god because those people are so not okay. 

[whumpkeys]

Blood Brothers (9-1-1 Lonestar Fic)

After an incident on a call leaves Carlos and Judd injured, TK has some guilt to look through. CW: Canon-typical violence, gun violence, drug mention.

It was a normal call. Or at least it was supposed to be. Dispatch had mentioned a simple car accident on the freeway with a possible missing kid. Nothing more, nothing less. They had found the kid and gotten four of the five people out of the cars with limited injuries and no deaths so far. The police were only really there for traffic control. Everything was going fine and overall, it was the kind of call that would no doubt be celebrated later with a night at the bar. Until Paul noticed something.

While Judd knew that he wasn’t as observant as Paul was, he was also far from oblivious. The sudden stiffening and look of concentration on Paul’s face betrays the fact that he had noticed something, though it wasn’t clear exactly what he’d noticed. It never was. Not until he did some fancy Sherlock Holmes type deduction and blew everyone away. Then it just seemed painfully obvious and left Judd with the thought that this is what Watson must feel like. A quick glance around reveals the fact that Judd isn’t the only one who’s noticed. Marjan and the probie were sharing a look of confusion and glee, clearly excited to see what it was that Paul had discovered.

Judd wasn’t immune to the lure of the trick either. Though he tries to remain outwardly uninterested, he still watches out of the corner of his eye as the other man approaches the truck, walking with purpose. Just as Paul’s about to make his first comment or ask his first question, something else catches Judd’s eye and he turns his head, recognizing the all-too-familiar glint as sunlight reflects off the long barrel of a shotgun. Judd follows it with his eyes, his heart stopping for a moment when he realizes who it was pointing at. TK wasn’t paying attention, of course, too busy chatting it up with his little cop boyfriend.

“Gun!” Judd’s shouting the warning almost immediately as he takes off towards the boy, knocking him to the ground just as the gun fires with a loud bang. The two of them land on the ground, Judd on top of TK, and he can only groan as TK shouts in surprise, asking what the hell was going on. Judd wants to answer. Really, he does. But just at that moment, the pain hits.

It’s a burning, searing pain that seems to spread out from his shoulder and throughout his entire body. He can hear somebody letting out a string of foul curses, ones that would get him smacked upside the head if Grace heard him saying, and it takes him a moment longer than it should for him to realize that it was him cussing up a storm and not some poor bystander. Judd tries to get up but his arms feel like Jell-O and refuse to follow his commands. All he can do is groan and hope he isn’t crushing poor TK under him.

As much as he liked to portray himself as this fearless, tough-guy cowboy, he was only human. He was susceptible to pain. And this shit? It hurt like a mother. Through the haze of pain and confusion, he can feel two people shifting him onto one of the stretchers. His arm moves at the same time that the pain spikes and a numb feeling shoots through his arm before making his entire body burn like it was on fire. He barely gets a strangled scream out before he's passing out on the stretcher.

~~~

Owen didn’t think he would ever be as scared as he had been when he found TK that night before moving to Austin. The stone-cold terror he’d felt when he’d found his son laying on the ground, cold as a corpse and not breathing, wasn’t something that was going to be easy to top. But the fear he feels when he sees the barrel of a gun pointed at him while he’s so clearly distracted definitely comes close.

“TK!” he yells, though it’s immediately drowned out by a louder shout, warning them about the gun. Owen freezes for just a moment, seeing a blur tackle TK to the ground just as the gun goes off. And that’s when everything goes to shit. Carlos is knocked aside in the commotion, his head hitting the edge of the truck and knocking him out, and TK himself doesn’t seem to come out unscathed despite what Owen is now considering divine intervention of some sort.

Owen forces himself forwards on unsteady legs, dropping to his knees beside the two. Michelle was already with Carlos, helping him to sit up and drink some water. For a moment, Owen’s convinced that he’s the only one who had seen this. The only one who knows what had happened. But his theory is quickly disproven when Paul and Marjan are there all of a sudden, helping him move Judd onto a stretcher. The cowboy was shouting out foul curses, causing most of the bystanders to cover their children's ears and look utterly scandalized. When he passes out, Owen finds that the silence is much worse.

TK hadn’t gotten up yet, which Owen was trying not to find concerning. He’s still laying on the pavement, curling up in the fetal position and not moving.“TK? TK, are you okay? TK!”

TK’s response is fairly quick and Owen just about sags in relief. “I’m fine. Just sore ribs. Think Judd broke ‘em. What was that all about anyway?” he asks, sitting up with one arm wrapped around his chest, a slight wince on his face.

Owen watches as the ambulance pulls away with Judd and Carlos inside and just shakes his head. “Come on. We’re going to the hospital.”

“Dad? It’s not that bad, seriously. I’m fine.”

“TK, it’s not for you.”

It takes a few seconds but the look on TK’s face when he finally realizes what had just happened makes Owen wish that he’d just invented some kind of elaborate lie or something to cover up the whole thing. He knew it was illogical but the urge to protect his son from any more hurt was there, overpowering any logic or rational thought. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

~~~

They arrive at the hospital shortly after. Despite what he’d been told, about the trip not being for him, his dad had still made him get checked out. The whole way to the hospital, he’d been hunched over with his arms wrapped around his chest and Owen had been understandably concerned. A few moments after arriving, he's diagnosed with cracked ribs. After being told about caring for his ribs, they head into the waiting room to find Carlos sitting in the corner with an ice pack to his head and a pink emesis bin in his lap. He glances up when the two walk in, giving TK a small, pained smile. TK immediately glances away.

From what he’d been told, this whole thing was his fault. If he had been paying attention to the call instead of hanging out with his boyfriend when they were both working, then he would have seen the gun. He would have ducked or moved or done something other than just stand there like a lovesick dork. Judd wouldn’t be in surgery. Carlos wouldn’t be sitting there in obvious pain.

TK knew he had a bad habit of internalizing things and blaming himself. His dad told him practically every time it happened. But in this case, he was certain that it was his fault. How could it not be? He had been standing there, flirting with his boyfriend while everyone else was working hard. Judd had been right, he was slacking. And now he was paying the price for TK’s mistake.

Before he even has a chance to try and stop it, a strangled sob escapes him, and just like that, the dam he’d oh so carefully constructed breaks. He sits there, in the cold, cramped hospital chair, with his legs pulled up to his chest and his face buried in his knees as loud sobs wracked his body. The fabric on his knees is getting wet with his tears but he can’t bring himself to care. With everything else happening, it doesn’t seem to matter that much. He feels somebody’s arm wrap around him, pulling him into their side with a quiet, “Oh, TK.”

He recognizes his dad’s voice and the feeling of his chest. Briefly, he’s reminded of the time when he was a kid and he’d had a nightmare. He’d stood over his dad’s bed for nearly ten minutes before Owen had woken up. His dad had later told him that he’d scared the shit out of him. But after that, he’d just hugged him and held him close. He had rubbed his hair like he was doing now and he’d told him that everything was going to be okay. That whatever had happened was just a dream and it couldn’t hurt him. The mantra was different today. Today, his dad was assuring him that what happened wasn’t his fault. “Everything will be okay. It wasn’t your fault, TK, these things happen. Judd’s gonna be fine. Carlos is—”

“I’m fine,” Carlos pipes up, though his voice is tinged with hurt. TK can’t tell if it’s from the concussion or TK ignoring him. Either way, he had caused it. It was his fault.

“Tyler Kennedy, you listen to me.” TK hadn’t realized he had been speaking out loud. “This was not your fault. Okay?”

“But Carlos got— and Judd he—”

“They’re fine, TK. Right now, I’m more worried about you.” Owen lowers his voice, leaning in closer to his son. “How are you feeling? Any… urges?”

TK sighs, rolling his eyes and looking up at his dad. “I’m not a werewolf, you know, and I’m not made of glass either. I’m not gonna- I’m not going to OD again, okay? That was… it was a one-time thing. Not every issue is going to break me, okay? Okay, dad?”

“I know,” Owen tells him, a small smile on his face. “I know. I’m just worried, okay?”

“Yeah, well you don’t have to be.”

“It’s kind of my job, TK.”

TK feels a small spark of inexplicable anger appear. “No, your <i>job</i> is to save people.”

“Not as a firefighter, TK, as your dad.”

TK’s quiet for a moment. Just like that, the spark is gone and another sob leaves him. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Owen assures him, rubbing small circles into his son’s back. TK just nods, too busy trying to hold back the sobs and tears that threatened to overspill. By now, Paul, Marjan, and Matéo had returned from taking the truck back for the next shift and were just sitting awkwardly in the chairs beside Carlos.

When Paul catches the captain's eye, he mouths something that Owen takes for meaning, ‘Is he okay?’ Owen hesitates, looking down at where TK was sitting, practically in his lap with his head buried in his chest. He nods. TK might not be completely okay right now, but he would be. Owen knew that. If his son was anything, he was resilient.

Owen glances up at the sound of footsteps, relieved to see the doctor approaching. He knows the exact moment that TK notices, shifting and accidentally elbowing Owen in the chest. “Oomph!”

“Sorry,” TK’s quick to apologize but pays his dad no heed as he looks over at the doctor, a tall blond man. “How is he? Is he okay?”

The doctor opens his mouth to say something when Paul pipes up. “Relax, TK, he’s fine. Doc’s relaxed.”

“Wel—”

“Plus, Judd’s a fighter. He’ll be fine in no time.”

“May I—”

“Wait, did anyone call his wife?”

“If I can—”

“Yeah, I called her earlier. You know, she’s actually really nice. She invited us for dinner this weekend.”

“Guys,” Owen says, holding up a hand. “Let the man speak.”

The doctor sends him a thankful look and adjusts his clipboard as he clears his throat. “Thank you, Captain. Mr. Ryder’s going to be just fine. He’s lost a bit of blood but we were able to remove the bullet without much difficulty at all. He’s awake and ready for visitors. If you would like to see him, somebody can go in now. He’s been asking for his little brother?”

As soon as the doctor’s finished speaking, Owen looks down at his son. “That’s you. Go see him, make sure he’s not giving the nurses a hard time.” TK hesitates before shaking his head slightly and pulling his phone out as if he got a text. “I uh- actually, I have to go. Meeting a friend.”

Before anyone can protest, he’s out of there, taking off like a bat out of hell. Owen sighs, standing up. “Guess, that’s me then.” As he heads for Judd’s room, he hears Mateo comment on TK leaving to see a friend instead of visiting his brother. Marjan smacks him upside the head and calls him an idiot before Owen can say anything. He’d talk to TK later, make sure he’s okay.

Nobody, not even Paul, notices Carlos slipping away.

~~~

As soon as he’s out of the hospital, TK breaks down completely. He slides down one of the large white pillars and buries his face in his arms as he cries. Loud sobs wrack his entire body as he struggles to get a breath in without choking on it. He can practically feel everyone staring at him, watching as he loses it right there on the pavement. TK can only imagine the sight he makes. He was still in his turnout gear minus his helmet, which was probably still in the waiting room with his dad, and definitely looked the part of a badass firefighter. And here he was, sobbing like a child.

Too focused on dwelling on his own mistakes and trying to get a breath in, TK doesn’t notice somebody sitting down beside him until there’s a sharp inhale from the spot to his left. “It’s bright out, huh?” TK freezes, recognizing his boyfriend’s voice. He looks up slowly, trying to wipe the tears away with the back of his hand. They just keep coming.

“What are you doing here?”

“Come on, TK. I know you. And I know that you’re taking this hard. It’s not your fault. You know that, right?”

TK shakes his head. “That’s not— I wasn’t doing my job. I was just standing around, talking to <i>you</i>. I was distracted.”

“Everyone was standing around, there wasn’t much to do. You did nothing wrong. Please tell me you understand that,” Carlos says, an arm around his shoulders as he pulls TK into an awkward, half hug. TK just laughs bitterly and shakes his head again. Carlos frowns and decides to try another tactic. “What, you’re not going to ask how I’m feeling?”

TK looks up at him, the slightest hint of a smile on his face. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I just won a steak-eating contest.”

“Nauseous?”

“Yeah. Doc says I have a concussion. Nothing serious though.”

TK nods. “Good. Look… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“TK, you have nothing to apologize for,” he tells him with a smile, squeezing him against his chest. “What happened was an accident. I know it doesn’t help much but it’s not your fault.”

“I know, it’s just…” TK shakes his head. “Nevermind.”

Carlos frowns but decides not to say anything for now. “Come on, Tiger. Let’s go see Judd. I heard he’s giving the doctors a hard time.”

This time, TK doesn’t protest as he’s led back towards the hospital.

~~~

“Where’s the kid?”

Standing at the end of Judd’s hospital bed, Owen got the strange feeling that he was at his judgment day. Judd didn’t look like he’d even been shot. If it weren’t for the bandage wrapped around his shoulder and the stark white hospital sheets, he could have just been laying in bed. He wasn’t wearing a hospital gown either, something the captain found fairly odd but not important enough to mention.

“He… had to leave. Had a date with a friend,” Owen tells him. They both knew he was lying.

“He’s blaming himself, ain’t he?” Judd asks, groaning slightly as he props himself up on his elbows and looks over. Owen just nods. “Fuck, knew he would. He’s okay though, right?”

Owen nods again. “Yeah, he’s fine. A couple of cracked ribs but he’ll be fine. How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m floating on cloud nine, Cap. Think they gave me the good stuff,” he responds with a shit-eating grin.

Owen laughs. “I don’t doubt it.”

There’s a moment of quiet as the mood slowly shifts and Judd looks up. “Any idea where he is?”

Owen shakes his head. They both knew who Judd was referring to. “I don’t know. He told me he wouldn’t be…” he trails off with a shake of his head. “But I don’t know.”

“Yeah, well, he’ll be fine. What happened out there?”

“Paul found cocaine. A ton of it. The guy didn’t want anyone finding out, I guess.”

“Whew-”

“What, no ‘welcome to Texas’?”

Judd shakes his head. “This ain’t Texas shit, Cap. That’s some LA shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Though the silence between the two had never been awkward before, it was now rife with tension. Owen wasn’t too sure what to say. He knew TK wouldn’t appreciate him telling Judd about their earlier talk but right now, he was considering telling Judd their entire life story just to have something to talk about. Thankfully, by some sort of miracle, he’s stopped from oversharing by the door opening and a light cough from the doorway.

Owen turns around immediately to see TK and Carlos standing there in the doorway. Carlos’s arm is wrapped around TK’s shoulders in a protective gesture and the police officer is giving them both a look that dares them to try anything. TK, for his part, was just standing there with his eyes on his shoes and his arms wrapped around his chest as if he could hold himself together just like that.

Nobody says anything for a few moments before Carlos nudges TK, prompting a slight glare at the other man and a quiet, “Hey.”

“Howdy, kid. Nice of you to drop by,” Judd responds, not missing a beat. Despite how withdrawn and hesitant TK was at the moment, Judd was acting as if they were just hanging around the fire station. And for that, Owen was grateful. TK hated any kind of pity or sympathy or anything like that. And while Judd wasn’t the type to pity people, Owen knew that his son would definitely interpret any difference in behavior as such.

TK doesn’t respond, leaving them with yet another awkward silence. It takes Owen a moment to see the look Judd was giving him, too busy watching his son with obvious worry. Judd clears his throat and Owen gets the sense that he was tired of waiting for him to catch on. “Hey, Cap, why don’t you and Reyes go call Grace or something?”

The dismissal was anything except subtle but it got the job done. Carlos seems to snap out of whatever protective trance he was in and nods. “Right… yeah. Uh- see you later, TK?” TK just nods, still not looking up from his shoes.

With one last lingering glance at his son, Owen follows Carlos out of the hospital room and back to the rest of the crew.

~~~

Judd doesn’t say anything as he watches the kid in the doorway. His posture and expression screams guilt and Judd knows that whatever he’s thinking about was eating at him. He shakes his head. “Am I gonna be receiving an invite to this pity party or is it one of them private affairs?”

TK glances up at that, a hint of a glare on his face as he looks towards Judd. It’s lacking any heat, though, and seemed more instinctual than anything. Judd sighs. “Come on, kid. What’s eating at you?”

There’s another brief moment of silence as TK seems to gather his words before speaking. “You got shot.”

Judd raises a brow. “Believe me, brother, I know.”

“No— you got shot because I wasn’t paying attention. I was flirting with Carlos. Flirting! At work. And you were— you—”

As he speaks, TK starts to pace back and forth across the room and Judd holds up a hand, stopping him in his tracks. “First of all, you’re making me dizzy. Second, this kind of shit happens. It could have happened to anyone. Probie, Marwani, your dad. Hell, even me. You know how many times I’ve tried flirting with Grace over the radio?” TK shakes his head. “Too many times.”

Judd pauses for a moment, just to get a sense of where they were, and then launches into the seemingly endless story of how he’d flirted with Grace over the radio, got himself smacked upside the head by his captain, and sent to the couch for the night by Grace, and almost drowned as a direct result from the incident. Partway through the story, TK migrates over to the hard plastic chair beside Judd’s bed and by the time he reaches the part about the couch, TK’s fast asleep with his head on the bed. Judd doesn’t stop talking just yet, continuing the story as TK lays there, his head laying on his folded arms.

He doesn’t reach the drowning part before he’s dozing off beside the kid, confident that they’d be alright.

[ficforce]

Blind Spot Part 1

Obi x Reader Stalker trigger

Obi stopped mid-lift as he heard the sound of three women getting angry all at once, it could only mean that Y/N had come back from her date and that it hadn’t gone well. He grabbed a towel and wiped at his face before opening the door and heading toward the break room; Iris looked mildly scandalised whilst Tamaki and Maki looked ready to commit murder, Y/N stood in front of them looking a little disappointed. “So he just grabbed your butt and expected you to go home with him? What a pervert!” “You have the worst luck with that dating company, why can’t you find your prince charming already?” Maki looked close to tears and sat down as if defeated. Y/N pat her on the shoulder and then she realised Obi was stood in the doorway, he looked a little sweaty but she recognised the bright look in his eyes, he always got a good feeling after working out, “You called it, Captain. Another loser crossed off the list.” “Did you update your dating profile?” He wasn’t going to gloat, he hadn’t liked the guy’s profile when she showed him and he felt worse about it if the guy had touched her without her wanting him to, “What did you put in for your ideal match?” She sat down beside Maki and began counting off the points on her fingers, “Tall, fit, kind, fun. Adventurous, looking for a long term commitment, preferably someone in a similar line of work.” Sister Iris shook her head a little and exhaled, “Why don’t you just put in a picture of Captain Obi in that section?” Tamaki covered her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh out loud and Maki looked at the two hopefully. It wasn’t the first time someone had told Y/N that she and Obi would be a great match.

“Tall, check” Maki ticked off an imaginary box, “No ones more fitness mad than Captain, check.” Iris joined in then, getting up her own imaginary checklist, “Kind and fun, check. Adventurous… let’s just check that.” Tamaki pretended to grab Iris’ list, “Pretty sure Captain Obi said he’d only date for keeps, check. And he’s in the same line of work. Check, check and check!” The three of them looked at them excitedly, Obi rubbed the back of his head and fumbled with his words for a moment, eventually coming up with some excuse, “We’ve been friends for nearly ten years, I think if there was anything between us it would have happened by now, right, Y/N?” “And you’re my boss now,” she gave a shrug to the girls and sat down at the end of the table, still disappointed by the evening’s date. Y/N had always dreamed of a prince charging into her life one day, sweeping her off her feet and loving her until the end of time, she felt like she was running out of time now, she was nearly thirty and still hadn’t had a long, meaningful relationship. She wondered if Mr Right would ever find her… Feeling a warm hand on her shoulder she looked up at Obi and he gave her a soft smile, “You’ll find a guy who ticks all the boxes, you just need to relax a little more. How about I set you up with Hinawa?” “Great idea!” Y/N cheered, “Then I can borrow his gun to shoot you with!” Obi snorted and headed out to hit the showers, oblivious to Y/N watching him as he left, her eyes lingering on his muscled back until she heard giggling from the side, “What?!” The women couldn’t believe how oblivious the two were of their feelings. The next two dates were just as disastrous and put the usually cheery woman in a bad mood. She was almost grateful for the difficulty of their mission as it let her work out some frustration, Obi pulled her up out of the elevator shaft they had used to escape a collapse lower down and she made sure to adjust his hood when she noticed it coming loose - neither of them had fire abilities and made sure to check the other’s equipment. It was something they had done even when they were regular firefighters, they had been in some difficult firefights and they always tried to find something to laugh about at the end; it kept them sane. They had gotten separated from everyone else when two Infernals had flanked the team, “The floor’s weak here, watch your step, Ak- Obi.” Y/N still wasn’t used to calling him Captain or Obi after years of casual friendship calling each other by first names. They made their way through the building until they found the stairs, the fires were blazing hot and they rushed down the stairs to where they could hear fighting, a screech of metal made Y/N scream as the stairs sunk dangerously under their feet, she balanced herself in time but she saw Obi go over the side of the broken rail. “Akitaru!” She launched herself toward him and barely caught his wrist before he vanished - he was so heavy it was hard not to be pulled over too, “Come on, little help here…” Obi caught the edge of the stairs with his other hand and began to pull himself back up, the woman gripping his coat and belt to help him all the way, “Thanks…” he gave her shoulder a grateful squeeze, “Let’s keep going, stay alert.” The Captain took her hand without thinking and they made their way through the inferno together, it was early dawn by the time they had finished putting the Infernals to rest and Y/N’s head drooped as she fought off sleep, eventually her head dropped onto Obi’s shoulder and he opened one of his eyes to look down at her, a smile flitted over his lips as she let out a mumble. He closed his eye again and relaxed a little, there was still some driving to do before they got back to the station so he would have to enjoy this as much as he could. They’d been friends for as long as he could remember and part of him regretted that he wasn’t her prince charming… they had never even had a moment where he thought he could kiss her and she would respond favourably - perhaps he was a coward? He had told the girls what he

honestly thought, ‘if there was anything between them it would have happened by now.’ It ached every time she described her ideal man but overlooked him. Obi wanted her to be happy and if that meant helping her out before every date she had with a stranger then he would take it on the chin. — - “I give up!” Y/N announced and tossed her jacket over Vulcan’s workbench, “Vul, I need something to hit - gimme a job to do.” She pulled him out from under the matchbox, not too surprised by his animal-themed goggles but they made her laugh, “You’re so cute…” “I’m a star-nosed mole.” The redhead pointed over to a different bench, “The hubcap got a little banged up, wanna hammer it back into shape?” She passed him a bottle of water and the young man pulled his goggles off, he saw Y/N like a kind of mother but even he had to admit she looked good in her date outfit, “Didn’t it go well?” She shook her head, “It was fine at first but then he started talking about himself and it was way different than his profile, then he kept changing his story and I just got this… feeling about him. He was hot as hell but I started to really go off him by dessert.” Y/N took a breath, “You know how you said Dr Giovanni made even your bones feel creeped out - he was like that.” A little time passed with the two working away and then they were interrupted by Hinawa, the Lieutenant’s wide eyes landed on Y/N and she flinched, “…Um?” “Your date called the station, he wanted to know if you got home safe.” He would have gone on to lecture her on the proper use of the work phone but the ex-soldier paused when he saw her expression change, it was obvious the news wasn’t welcome. “Y/N?” “I didn’t tell him where I worked… I said I was in Emergency Services and there’s nothing on me to indicate I work here.” Her skin prickled and she glanced out of the garage door as if someone might be lurking there, “What did you say, Lieutenant?” Hinawa walked past her and pulled the door shut before tossing her her coat, “I told him that Company 8 only deals with Infernals in this district and hung up.” He told Vulcan to make sure he locked up when he was done and led her toward the kitchen. The kitchen with Hinawa always meant a heart to heart, Hinawa began preparing tea and she gave a sigh as she waited for him to say whatever it was he needed. “Tell me about the guy you went out with tonight? Description, occupation… concerns.” “Tall, dark hair and eyes, he was pretty broad.” He passed her a cup and she held it close as she leaned on the counter, “He said he was police force but then he kinda changed his story, I caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his arm when he took his coat off and it looked military.” She watched Hinawa nod slowly and then he gestured for the door, having her follow him to the equipment lock-up, “Hinawa?” “I didn’t like his tone, Y/N, I don’t like what you’re telling me.” He pulled open his gun draw and picked out a handgun, checking it over before holding it out to her, “I’m lending this to you, I know you can use it so I’m not too worried about gun safety.” “Hinawa?” She took it from him hesitantly, “I’m… I think you’re overreacting.” “You looked terrified when I said you got a call… It takes some doing to rattle you, Y/N. Cancel your dating subscription, it’s embarrassing that you even signed up. You’re an attractive woman but you need to get your head out of fairytales and start looking in the real world.” Y/N kept the gun Hinawa had given her in a holster under her clothes, she figured he was being overprotective and the thought made her feel better about the whole thing, Company 8 were her family and they looked out for her, maybe Hinawa was right and she needed to relax a little. It was a full week since her date and everything was just like normal, at least she had thought it was. It was Arthur that pointed out a reoccurring figure at the scenes they went out to, the blonde pointed past her shoulder and she turned along with Shinra, “He’s here again.” Shinra squinted into the crowd and agreed, “Yeah, he was here last time and the

time before. Do you know him, Y/N?” The figure was already walking away when she tried to get a better look, she felt a chill all over and stepped backwards nervously - straight into Obi. His hands rested on her shoulders and he searched the crowd too, “Y/N… you’re shaking.” Obi had heard about the stranger in the crowd and he had been told by Hinawa that there was a problem with her last date, the Captain guided her back to the matchbox and searched the crowd one more time before ordering Vulcan to drive them home. They all kept an eye out from then on, the figure didn’t appear again but someone kept calling the station and hanging up, Vulcan noticed that the lock on the garage had been tampered with and one morning they found a bouquet of flowers left at the doorstep. It had gotten to a point where Y/N couldn’t go anywhere without an escort. — - “Maki, could you go tell Y/N it’s her turn to do the dishes?” The woman gave her Captain a nod and headed down to the garage where Y/N said she was going to grab a screwdriver to fix something in her room. She looked around and saw only Vulcan’s feet under the matchbox and Licht trying to convince him to help with modifications. They both seemed confused as Y/N hadn’t been there in the last half an hour, the three of them started a search throughout the large building and then there was a mass panic when no one could find her. Obi had been the last person to leave the station, calling ahead to Company 5 to see if they could spare some extra feet on the ground and then he would search the local area. The phone rang and he prayed it wasn’t an Infernal, “Company 8, Captain Obi speaking… Y/N! Where the hell are you?!” “I was taking out the trash and… I didn’t see him…” Obi pressed the phone closer to his ear, she sounded so faint, “Akitaru, I… I’ve been shot.” His blood ran cold as that sunk in.