#no more drama queens and made up scandals

[tinechek]

My thoughts exactly. If everything he does or says is somehow wrong, leave. Simple as that.

OK so for the ones of us who were actually in Berlin tonight, the vibes were immaculate! Then we go on Tumblr and see weird stories from people who weren’t even there?? Like he was literally just bantering back to that girl who jokingly said he’s rich when he was promoting the merch. He did not just randomly start yapping about how poor he was. He said we had to buy merch because he brought too much to carry! Then the girl said he was rich, then he asked how she knew, if she could see his bank account and said it was 0. If he had said he was a millionaire then I’m sure someone would be mad about that too.

And this girl was 100% not trying to call him out! She was having so much fun bantering with him and now she feels terrible about people starting shit over her joke and hates that people are calling her “Queen” over this because this was absolutely not her intention. I can understand people saying the “I’m poor” routine is getting old but claiming that he was saying people should buy merch because he’s poor literally did not happen.

It seems like people are really searching hard for reasons to hate on him. And yes it’s absolutely entering hater territory when you go around twisting words and taking things out of context. If you are unhappy with how this dude from Finland is acting or whatever, feel free to leave! Like literally no one is forcing you to be here.

[astonmartinii]

but daddy i love him [guilty as sin part two] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

when an unstoppable force (the sainz men when they feel aggrieved) meets an immovable object (charles and y/n)

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 783,409 others

carlossainz55: never forget where you came from

view all comments

user100: insert cricket noises here

user101: who on your PR team said this was a good idea?

user102: they need to be fired, sorry not sorry

landonorris: i love your dad (tell him to stop beating me at golf)

carlossainz55: if he never lets me win he's definitely never letting you win

landonorris: so unfair i thought i was the third sainz sibling :(

carlossainz55: i'm an only child

landonorris: oh-

user103: i need this man to choke i'm being so serious rn

user104: that's so unbelievably fucked

user105: the fact his dad is probably co-signing this shit is insane that's YOUR DAUGHTER

user106: also someone give lando a lil slap around he's on the wrong side of history on this one

yourusername: scandal does funny things to pride

carlossainz55: if the scandal is betraying your family that's all you

yourusername: if we're talking about betrayal then that's your specialist subject mr. i've cheated on every girl i've ever been with - and while we're on the topic of betrayal, yes i was the one who told them

carlossainz55: i've never cheated why are you stooping to lies?

yourusername: you did it right in front of my face when i was a part of this family

carlossainz55: so you've always been comfortable going behind my back

yourusername: that's the thing, when you're treated like you don't exist by your family you learn that blood is not thicker than water

carlossainz55: i can't wait for charles to cheat on you

yourusername: btw i already called marca, they know any of those allegations from you or dad are false - good luck!

user10: obvs i know they should be doing this in private but MORE DRAMA FOR ME BABY LETS KEEP THIS GOING

user107: thank you for the validation y/n i KNEW THE SHIT STIRRING COMING FROM THAT PAPER WAS THE SAINZ CAMP

user108: and they've got the nerve to be talking about stooping - the call is coming from inside the house

maxverstappen1: ugly twins

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: i said what i said and i mean what i said

carlossainz55: i would say she's not going to fuck you bro but you really never know with her

maxverstappen1: she would never, homewrecking is a trait only the male sainzs seem to have

user109: OOP

user110: max is a real lestappen queen fighting the battles he knows charles can't

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,405 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: if you know within one glimpse, its legendary

view all comments

user114: i love how she goes from fighting her brother in one comment section to just showing off her hot bf

user115: tbf charles does have a face you'd go to war for so i get her

user116: i'd abandon my family for that face

yourusername: finally someone who fucking gets it

charles_leclerc: you made me believe in love at first sight

yourusername: awwwwww you're such a sweet talker the REAL smooth operator

pierregasly: i can verify it was love at first sight cause the man did not SHUT THE FUCK UP about you well... ever

charles_leclerc: is it a crime to love my girlfriend?

pierregasly: apparently!

yourusername: he's too cute to go to jail :(

charles_leclerc: they'd ruin me

yourusername: that's my job 🤨

pierregasly: you keep that to yourselves

user117: does this girl need to shade carlos on every single fucking post... yeah we get it he's the only reason you're relevant but god you reek of desperation

oscarpiastri: is this carlos' burner account?

user118: are the grid just sat around waiting to be tagged in to the fight against carlos?

oscarpiastri: what's he going to do? crash into me? he does that every weekend anyway

user119: uh oh carlos oscar is finally fighting back off track what are you going to do

user120: don't worry i'm sure he'll post a selfie with lando and try the whole carlando shtick to get some more PR points

maxverstappen1: oh this was not the shit slinging post i was hoping for

yourusername: something tells me you're having way too much fun with this

maxverstappen1: yeah you might have been abandoned by your family but have YOU considered that this is letting me express all my mean girl energy off track so i am level-headed on track

maxverstappen1: actually i don't even think i'm being mean tbf

yourusername: i'm glad my suffering could be your therapy

carlossainz55: BOO HOO you're not suffering ... it's something called the consequences of your actions (read: actions being a snakey slut)

yourusername: bro over here acting like i committed fratricide

maxverstappen1: TAP ME IN

maxverstappen1: not this man talking about the consequences of actions. kids, here's a little life lesson: if you spend all your time at your current job talking about how you have a much better job waiting for you and how you're too big for this job and plant stories about your co-workers, you can't be surprised that that same job doesn't want to keep you

carlossainz55: i am better than charles

yourusername: lying is a sin

maxverstappen1: and you're going straight to hell

user121: you guys might be mourning the loss of charlos (whatever the fuck that is) but i'm celebrating the absolute shit ton of LESTAPPEN we're getting

user122: max was like oh my bff is dating charles here's my excuse to be nice about him again

user123: if we're being real here the biggest crime of this whole situation is the fact that charles can't really dig the knife in

user124: @ silvia i have maybe £4.50 and a greggs sausage roll to my name but PLEASE LET CHARLES TAP IN

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,298,006 others

tagged: oscarpiastri & carlossainz55

f1: f1... the sport that gives you just as much drama off track as we do on track!

view all comments

user125: at this point even before the whole carlos ousting his sister i think oscar was about 👌🏻 this close to rocking carlos nascar style we should let him do it

user126: i will personally pay his legal fees tbh

oscarpiastri: i'm only 23 i don't need two F1-related legal cases to my name

yourusername: i've watched legally blonde about ten billion times let me represent you

oscarpiastri: yeah sounds legit

user127: THAT'S IT WE NEED PROXIMITY CHAT IN F1

user128: the way we know there was a shit talking session like no other after this race

maxverstappen1: i don't kiss and tell but well - yes!

user128: okay since this is clearly a safe space... who was there please spill mr. verstappen

maxverstappen1: ME! charles, pierre, oscar, checo, alex and george!

user128: why the fuck were the last two there?

georgerussell63: i was on official GDPA duty 🤓

alexalbon: that's a lie we're just very nosey

yourusername: they're the biggest PTA moms ever don't even lie

georgerussell63: yes i'll make allergy friendly cupcakes for the bake sale but i'll also spit in them and gossip about your cheating husband - sorry about it!

alexalbon: he's not

georgerussell63: i'm not

user129: carlos slagging off y/n but she's really brought the grid together

user130: george and alex being like we do not care about that but we do want the latest scoop

alexalbon: oh don't get it twisted we're firmly team y/n

user131: we even got the f1 admin in on the drama

carlossainz55: she's probably fucking them as well

yourusername: BORING get a new bit babe

carlossainz55: if i see whore i'm going to say whore

yourusername: aren't you still in that damn stewards office?

carlossainz55: tell your little lap dog to keep his front wing away from my car and maybe i wouldn't

oscarpiastri: suck my dick

yourusername: now that's true poetry

user132: oH!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 763,409 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, logansargent & oscarpiastri

yourusername: florida !!!!!!!!!!! is one hell of a drug. no seriously what is in the water here i keep picking up these little guys everywhere i go

view all comments

user135: she's really like i AM spanish and i will colonise this grid

user136: stealing all the lil cuties for her cause

oscarpiastri: proud to be a part of this weird little circus thing we've got going on

yourusername: oh dibs on ring master

logansargent: i feel like my name is written all over tight rope walking

yourusername: okay yes skinny legend

maxverstappen1: obvs we're a cruelty free circus so no lions but if there were lions, that's me babe

maxverstappen1: SOME people could learn... cough, cough trophy hunters

charles_leclerc: idk i'll just take the one where i can sit there and be pretty

yourusername: and you would be the best at it

oscarpiastri: which one does the least? i'll take that one

user137: bro can we slow the fuck down i was just getting over osc telling carlos to suck his dick now we're talking CIRCUS?

user138: for real couldn't it have at least been cabaret i wanna see ALL of that

charles_leclerc: 🤨

carlossainz55: i think a circus is a perfect way to describe your desperate attempt to stay relevant

yourusername: don't you have a job to go to? oh wait...

carlossainz55: as if i'm threatened by a group with the likes of logan sargent in it

logansargent: bit harsh, i'm a nice guy (unlike some)

yourusername: carlos here's a little bit of a wild thing i'm about to introduce to you.... people have friends?

yourusername: also you WISH you had a face card like logie

carlossainz55: i have friends?

yourusername: no you have PR strategies, there's a difference

carlossainz55: bro learnt the word PR and ran with it

yourusername: tell me one person who would let you crash on their couch?

yourusername: QUICKLY.

fernandoalo_oficial: and don't even think about mentioning me

user139: she hit him with the bianca del rio

user140: OOP and also nando just popping up out of nowhere to diss carlos and never say anything again

charles_leclerc: the drug in question being puppy fever

maxverstappen1: tell me you didn't get a dog

yourusername: boy do i have news for you

carlossainz55: are you trying to baby trap him

yourusername: first woman in history to birth a dog you heard it here first

charles_leclerc: you simply can't be babytrapped when you would literally jump off a bridge if asked to

user141: @myboyfriend TAKE NOTES HONEY ^^^

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,745,093 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: two kids in one month? someone stop us

view all comments

user142: y/n really lost an apartment and a brother and gained about 27 f1 drivers and a dog

user143: glow up of the century some might say

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: soz it's a coping mechanism

charles_leclerc: and that's okay <3

maxverstappen1: anything to help with that emotional CONSTIPATION

yourusername: have you tried to live with those narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men?

maxverstappen1: you're asking the wrong person that question honey

yourusername: girl are WE good?

maxverstappen1: no

yourusername: BUT THAT'S OKAY

charles_leclerc: not to rain on this parade but i think therapy would really be a positive move here

user144: i feel bad for charles cause i know these hoes are the type to just tell each other EXACTLYYYYY when they make poor decisions

maxverstappen1: true, no smart bitches would let their bff live with THAT man

yourusername: and let their bff constantly chat shit and ruin their image

maxverstappen1: can't ruin my image if i'm spitting FACTS

user145: max will nawt let this go

maxverstappen1: i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

yourusername: GIRL

maxverstappen1: whoops, one sec. spoiler alert: y/n unleased poetry. trigger warning: c*rlos s*inz

olliebearman: ollie bearman erasure

charles_leclerc: GASP OLLIE I AM SO SORRY

yourusername: no he actually is he's crying

charles_leclerc: it's the pregnancy hormones

olliebearman: it's okay i swear

charles_leclerc: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER

carlossainz55: i could've told you that for free

olliebearman: why are you in our family buisness

user146: charles is channelling all of his carlos rage through ollie oh my

olliebearman: i am a happy conduit for my father who is in the ferrari PR jail

yourusername: can we send carlos here and throw away the key?

user147: charles is really out there like keep my girl's name out of your mouth cause even the bitch who stole your seat for a weekend is my SON

user148: y/n wasn't joking about with this grid domination

user149: but also i'm glad all of this fun stuff is happening amongst all of the shit that's been thrown at her from her family

oscarpiastri: a leclerc and proud (i race like my dad and throw shade like my mum)

yourusername: the best way to be

charles_leclerc: proud of you, you're such a good dog brother :)

oscarpiastri: i've just learnt to be patient after alpine and lando

yourusername: you still took your shoes being leo's personal bathroom really well

oscarpiastri: he's too cute to be mad at

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 824,109 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: first mother's day with my boys

view all comments

user150: gonna enjoy this super wholesome post before... he... ruins it

user151: manifesting a y/n post without that bitter old hag in the comment section

charles_leclerc: the best mother for our fur baby and our miscellaneous other children

yourusername: only the best with you :(

charles_leclerc: ugh i love you so much

yourusername: i love you even more

user152: they're so fucking cute

user153: damn carlos i too would be angry if my baby sister and my teammate outshined my third PR relationship in six months

user154: the sainz family have generational levels of hating, but one does it for good (poetry) and one does it for bad (anything carlos ever says)

oscarpiastri: happiest mother's day to my grid mum! here's to reading them to filth xx

yourusername: OSC!! i always knew you were my favourite aussie

danielricciardo: did my enchante PR mean nothing?

yourusername: i mean i wear it all of the time... but it's osc ...

danielricciardo: true, i broke my hand before i could even think of accidentally hurting him

user155: also babe is looking so unbothered, moisturised and free we need the skin care routine

oscarpiastri: the tears of carlos sainz

yourusername: and cleansing your life of toxic family members

user156: okay clearly oscar was done with the whole "i'm so chill" bit cause since his adoption by charles and y/n he's been non stop on carlos' neck

oscarpiastri: i'm a ride or die for my mum cry about it

maxverstappen1: as the kids would say ... mother is mothering? @olliebearman did i do it right?

charles_leclerc: stop trying to steal my kids

maxverstappen1: BRO I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

charles_leclerc: that's literally my job 🤨

yourusername: tbf i'll take as many compliments as i can

charles_leclerc: are mine not enough?

yourusername: when you've got a self esteem this low, you gotta take what you can get

charles_leclerc: oh :(

user157: max and y/n fighting over who trauma dumps more about their upbringing

carlossainz55: this bit is very tiring. you'll be a terrible mother and all these people you think are your friends will drop you as soon as they know who you really are.

yourusername: you done?

carlossainz55: as you loveeeee to point out, i don't have much to lose anymore so i really wouldn't test me

yourusername: trying to make me homeless and stealing all of my money wasn't enough?

carlossainz55: charles will know the truth soon enough and you won't have us to come crying to

yourusername: i'll take those chances thank you

user158: hold ON what do you mean stole all her money

yourusername: i was never allowed my own bank account so all my earnings have gone to them!

user159: okay that's it WE RIDE AT DAWN

fin.

note: oh girl life has been BUSY!!! i just got a new job and have been looking desperately for a flat to move out to. also i've had family visiting and going here, there and everywhere. but i hope you enjoy! this was a lil more light-hearted lol (until the end) so enjoy the addition of the leclerc family lore xx

ALSO i wanted to say a massive THANK YOU FOR 6,000 FOLLOWERS love you all <3

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

[minwonsgirl]

kiss me better.

— vernon x gn!reader

— fluff cause let's face it im obsessed

— contents : established relationship, vernon being cute w kids, kisses, vernon gives reader a hickey so I need the - 18 to stay away ok, sorta suggestive, nicknames (vernon; sollie, sol, baby, nonnie. reader; sweetheart, pretty)

"Does it hurt a lot?" hansol asked your neice in a soft comforting voice, standing on his knees so that he could match her height.

she nods her head and let's out a tiny sniffle, hansol coos at her and pulls her into his arms so that she could cry into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry baby I wish I could help you" he said, rubbing her back to calm her down.

you smile at them from the doorway. hansol always got along with your neice so well, it took you years to win her over and still all you two do is squabble (yes you fight with a seven years and yes you lose more often than not.) for him it was as easy as turning a page.

if it weren't for the fact that you loved him with every corner of your heart you would probably be jealous of their relationship.

when her cries quite down hansol slowly pulled her away and held onto her arms, "do you wanna know a secret?" he asked, she pouts and brings a hand up to wipe her nose while nodding her head slowly, "mhm" she hummed.

hansol pulls her next to him so that he could whisper directly into her ear, "my mom used to say that candies and kisses are best for hurts" he whispered scandalously. then he pulls out a snickers bar and hands it to her.

the chocolate bar automatically makes her smile, and when she raises her hands to take it from your boyfriend's hand, he presses a quick and soft kiss on top of the bandaid resting on her finger, causing her to let out a fit of giggles.

your girl catches a glimpse of you in the doorway and she immediately let's out the sweetest laugh and runs towards you, "look at what sollie got me," she said waving the chocolate in your face. you lean down to her height and make a show of groaning with jealousy and pout at her. "not fair, sol keeps giving you chocolates and keeps forgetting about me"

your neice sticks out her tongue and turns around to run back to vernon. she hands him the chocolate and like a routine he starts to unwrap it for her while she continues to babble with you.

"it's so totally fair," she says stubbornly.

you walk towards your bed and lay on your stomach while facing the other two sitting on the ground. "and how is that?" you asked, mimicking her stubbornness

"sollie keeps giving you kisses and forgets about me" she said.

vernon coughs and turns around to catch your stunned and wide eyes. your smiling though, and watch as the sweet little girl continues to say in a thoughtful voice, "and I have never complained about that !! but you complain about not getting chocolates all the time, so really its not fair for me"

you shake your head in a little bit of shock and a little bit of amazement. "how's your hand feeling, drama queen?" you prompted, knowing she would fall into your trap.

she gasps loudly and let's out in an offended voice, "I am not a drama queen !! ugh whatever I'm leaving," she said, biting into her snickers and walking away, you and vernon watch her waddle towards your rooms doorway. right before she leaves she turns around and gives you a stink eye, "I know when I'm not appreciated." and she closes the door on her way out.

you let out a slightly amazed scoff, every time you babysat her you saw this new side of her that made you realise she was no longer a baby, she was growing so quickly you were almost certain she was an anomaly or something.

"everything okay?" hansol asked, he had moved closer to the bed so that he could talk to you properly (and maybe steal a kiss or two.) the position made you taller than him, so you had tilt your head down a little to talk to him. "everythings perfect" you said, smiling at him.

"can I ask you something?" he asked, a mischievous smile taking over his face.

you narrowed your eyes and looked at him very suspiciously, causing him to break out into his heart smile. and boom goes your suspicion. damn his perfect smile that made you melt into a literal puddle.

"anything you want, baby" you said.

he pulls himself up even closer to the bed and smiles at you. "I got hurt," he said, pouting his lips, "on my lips. need you to kiss it better"

now here's the thing, laughing was your coping mechanism, it was as if would protect you from cringing or trauma.

which was exactly why almost as soon as those words left his mouth hansol's shoulders scrunched up and he let's out a humiliated yell, covering his face with his hands, and you let out the loudest cackling laugh ever.

"dude what is wrong with you" you asked, laughing at his embarrassed face. you turn over on the bed and continued loudly laughing at him. "why would you do that I have literally never denied you a kiss," you added.

"I was trying to be romantic," you heard him whine.

you couldn't see hansol anymore because your laughing put you on your back, but you could hear some shuffling around the bed, and suddenly he was crawling his way on the bed towards you, automatically making you move backwards and into your pillows for safety.

you tried to muffle your laughter by pressing you lips into a thin line, causing vernon to have that annoyed smile on his face. "you think I'm funny, sweetheart?" he asked, whispering it very close to your ear as if he was telling you a secret. you violently shake your head side to side to tell him no. hansol scoffs, and my god does he look attractive while doing it.

your eyes fell to his lips and every detail of it amazed you, how was he so fucking gorgeous? they trailed further and further down his neck, the curve of his adam's apple, the dip the followed after, the v shaped collar bones that led your eyes straight down his— "eyes up here, pretty. I already know I'm irresistible" he said with the proudest smirk on his face.

his cockiness was starting to annoy you, so before he could open his mouth again you pull him down, your lips meet his and you kiss the fuck out of him.

hansol doesn't object in the slightest bit. one of his hands grabs onto the headboard behind you and the other one goes under your head, your hands were balling up his hoodie.

when he pulls away to rest his lungs, you smirk at him, "does it still hurt or do you need some candy too?"

hansol laughs. he kisses your lips, then your cheek, then your jaw, and then your neck, "some candy wouldn't hurt" he says in a breathy whisper, and then he nips, and then he bites.

you gasped, your body jumping and hitting against his. he licks you neck to soothe it before repeating the action and sucking lightly. your body arched up against him, and your fingers pull at his hair. "fuck, nonnie" you moaned.

the bastard fucking laughs into your neck.

when the spot turns a dark purple colour, hansol moves away and stares at his work, he gives himself a satisfied nod and then leans in again to kiss it.

you look at him with a raised eyebrow, "what the fuck are you doing" you asked in confusion. vernon pulls back to look at you and shrug his shoulders, "kissing you better." he said.

you rolled your eyes at him and let out a laugh, "butyou gave me the hickey?" you said, confusion still flattering you features. vernon smirks as if he was the smartest boy ever and says, "yeah, now I have a reason to kiss you more, and you have a reason to eat more candies"

you think about how stupid your boyfriend is, and how badly you want to marry him.

[invisibleicewands]

‘I wanted to be seen as the greatest actor of all time. Then I realised that was nonsense’: Michael Sheen on pride, parenting and paying it forward

He’s the feted star who cracked Hollywood, but it was only when he swapped LA for his home town in Wales that he was able to do his most meaningful work yet

By Simon Hattenstone

Michael Sheen has been fabulous in so many TV dramas and movies, it’s hard to know where to start. But perhaps his most memorable appearance came earlier this year in a TV show that didn’t require him to do any acting at all. The Assembly was a Q&A session in which he took questions from a group of young neurodiverse people. Sheen didn’t have a clue what would be asked, and no subject was off limits. It made for life-affirming telly. The 55-year-old Welsh actor was so natural, warm and encouraging as he answered a series of nosy, surprising and inspired questions. I watched it thinking what a brilliant community worker Sheen would be. And, in a way, that’s what he has become in recent years.

“The Assembly’s had more response than anything else I’ve ever done,” Sheen tells me. “Almost every day someone will come up to me and mention it, particularly people who have children with autism. They say it was just so lovely to see something where the interviewers were empowered. I had a fantastic time.” He replays some of his favourite moments: the young man Leo who took an age to start talking, and then delivered the most beautifully phrased question about the influence of Dylan Thomas on Sheen’s life; the woman who asked what it was like to be married to a woman only five years older than his daughter; and the question that came at the end: “What’s your name, again?” He smiles: “And Harry with the trilby on. Just the nicest man ever.” You came across as an incredibly nice man, too, I say. “Aw well, it’s hard not to be when you’re among all those amazing people, innit.”

Today we meet in London, ostensibly to talk about A Very Royal Scandal, a gripping mini-series about Prince Andrew’s infamous Newsnight interview with Emily Maitlis – the disastrous attempt to defend his honour that sealed his fall from grace. But we don’t get to the show till it’s almost going home time. Sheen’s too busy discussing all the other stuff that matters to him, away from business.

Six years ago, he swapped life in Los Angeles for Port Talbot, the steel town where he grew up. These days he calls himself a not-for-profit actor – a term he happily admits he’s invented. “It means that I try to use as much of the money I earn as I can to go towards developing projects and supporting various things. Having had some experiences of not-for-profit organisations and social enterprises, I realised that’s what I want to do with my business. And my business is me.” He grins. There was a suggestion that he might stop acting in order to do good works, but he says that never made sense; only by getting decent gigs can he earn money to put back into the community.

It has to be said he’s got the air of a not-for-profit actor today – scruffy black top, sloppy black pants, black trainers. With a bird’s-nest beard and a thicket of greying curls, he looks nicely crumpled. But give him a shave and a trim, allow him a flash of that electric smile, and he could still pass as a thirtysomething superstar.

Sheen is best known for transforming into household names – Brian Clough in The Damned United; Chris Tarrant in Quiz; David Frost in Frost/Nixon; a trio of films as Tony Blair (The Deal, The Queen, and The Special Relationship); Kenneth Williams in Fantabulosa. His Prince Andrew is compelling; by turns petulant, pathetic, monstrous and poignant. He has a gift for inhabiting famous people – voice, body, soul, the works. He’s equally adept as a regular character actor – the dapper angel Aziraphale in Good Omens, pale and pinched as spurned suitor William Boldwood in the 2015 film of Far From the Madding Crowd, the tortured father of a daughter with muscular dystrophy in last year’s BBC drama Best Interests. He even plays a winning version of himself alongside David Tennant (and their respective partners Anna Lundberg and Georgia Tennant) in the lockdown hit TV series Staged.

But the work that changed his life was his 2011 epic three-day reimagining of The Passion on the streets of Port Talbot, involving more than 1,000 people from the local community. It was years in the making, and during that time he decided he would leave Los Angeles to come home. Initially, home just meant Britain, probably London. But the longer he spent with his people, the more it became apparent to him that home could only mean one thing – returning to Port Talbot, and helping the disadvantaged town in whatever way he could.

He admits that for many years he didn’t have a clue about the reality of life in Port Talbot. He had always lived in one bubble or another. His parents were hardly flush, but they had decent jobs – his mother was a secretary, his father a personnel manager at British Steel, and both were active in amateur dramatics. Sheen was academically gifted (he considered studying English at Oxford University before winning a place at Rada), a talented footballer (he had trials with Cardiff and Swansea) and an exceptional young actor. Then came the bubble of Rada and London, followed by the bubble of LA.

It was only when he started to work on The Passion that he began to understand his home town. One day he was rehearsing with a group in a community hall when he was approached by a woman. “She told me she was the mother of this boy who’d been in my class at school called Nigel. When I was 11, he fell off a cliff in an accident and died. It was the first time I’d known someone to die. She said, ‘I’ve started up a grief counselling group here. I have a little bit of money from the council because there is no grief counselling in this area.’” She’d had no counselling when Nigel died, nor in the 31 years since. “And all these years later, she’d set up a little grief counselling thing with a bit of money, so that was extraordinary to hear.” Next time he returned he discovered that the group no longer existed because of council cuts.

Every time he went back he discovered something new. He met a group that supported young carers. Sheen doesn’t try to disguise how ignorant he was. “I said, ‘All right, what are young carers?’ And they said, ‘They’re children who are supporting a family member.’ And I’m like, ‘OK, this is a profession, they get paid, right?’ And I was told, ‘No, they don’t get paid and our little organisation gives them a bit of respite – once a week we take them bowling or to the cinema.’ I went bowling with them one night and there were eight-year-old kids looking after their mother and bringing up the younger kids. This one organisation was trying to take these kids bowling one night a week, and then that went. No funding for that, either. That kind of stuff was shocking.”

As a child, SHEEN says he was oblivious to struggle because he was so driven by his own dreams. First, it was football. By his mid-teens it was acting. West Glamorgan Youth Theatre, which he calls “one of the best youth theatres in the world”, was on his doorstep. “The miners’ strike was on when I was 15 in Port Talbot and I wasn’t really aware of it at the time. That’s how blinkered I was, because I was so obsessed by acting at that point.” Acting wasn’t regarded as a lofty fantasy in Port Talbot as it may have been in many working-class communities. After all, the town had produced Richard Burton and Anthony Hopkins.

In his late teens, heading off for Rada, Sheen feared he would be surrounded by giant talents who would dwarf his. When he discovered that wasn’t the case, he suffered delusions of grandeur. “I wanted to be recognised as the greatest actor in the world,” he says bluntly. In the second year, the students did their first public production: Oedipus Rex. “I thought, well obviously I’ll be cast as Oedipus, then we’ll perform Oedipus to the public and when the world sees me for the first time I’ll be carried shoulder-high through the streets of London and hailed as the greatest actor of all time.” I look for an ironic wink or nod, but none is forthcoming.

Sure enough, he was cast in the lead role. “We did our first public production and I thought I was brilliant.” But nothing changed. It didn’t bring him instant acclaim. By the third night, he could barely get through the performance.

Were you a bit of a cock back then, I ask. He shakes his head. “No, I was having a breakdown. I was crying most of the time. I just fell apart. I spoke to the principal of Rada and I said, ‘I can’t continue at drama school, I have to leave.’ And he said just take some time off, which I did, and two or three weeks later I slowly came back and then completely changed the way I acted.”

Until then he believed acting was just about what he did. “I thought you just worked out how to say the lines as cleverly as you could; it had nothing to do with responding to other people or being in the moment. It was showing off, essentially. And there’s a ceiling to where you can get with that. That breakdown I had was because I’d reached the ceiling and didn’t know how to go any further. That’s why I fell apart.”

He gradually put himself and his technique back together. Was he left with the same ambition? “No. The idea of being considered the best actor of all time becomes nonsense.” In 1991, Sheen left Rada early, because he’d been offered a job he couldn’t turn down. He made his professional debut opposite Vanessa Redgrave in a West End production of Martin Sherman’s When She Danced. Theatre was Sheen’s first love, and his rise was meteoric. From the off, he was cast as the lead in the classics (Romeo and Juliet, Peer Gynt, Henry V, The Seagull) and the 20th-century masterpieces (Norman in The Dresser, Salieri and Mozart in Amadeus, Jimmy Porter in Look Back In Anger).

Sheen was doing exceptionally well when he and his then partner Kate Beckinsale moved to LA for her work in the early 2000s. She was four years younger than him, and already a movie star. Their daughter Lily, now an actor, was a toddler. He assumed that his transition to stardom in LA would be as seamless as it had been in Britain. But it wasn’t. His theatrical acclaim counted for nothing. In 2003, he and Beckinsale split up, but he stayed in LA to be close to Lily.

The first few years, he says, were so lonely and dispiriting. “I found myself living in Los Angeles, there to be with my daughter but just seeing her once a week. I had no career there – it was essentially like starting again. I had no friends and spent a lot of time on my own. It was tough. Slowly I realised how it was affecting me.” In what way? “I remember coming out of an audition for Alien vs Predator, to play a tech geek computer guy with five lines and really caring about it, and then thinking: ‘I can be playing fucking Hamlet at home, what am I doing, what’s this all about?’” He says he’d been so lucky – always working, never having to audition, getting the prize jobs. And suddenly in LA he was an outsider; a nobody.

He and Beckinsale are often cited as role models for joint parenting by ex-couples. In 2016, Beckinsale, Lily and Sheen staged a hilarious photo for James Corden’s The Late, Late Show, recreating the moment of giving birth 17 years earlier. Beckinsale reclines on a kitchen table with Lily sitting between her legs, as an alarmed-looking Sheen stands to the side. Have they always got on well since splitting up? “We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re very important in each other’s lives. It would be really sad if we weren’t – like cutting off a whole part of your life. I’m not saying it doesn’t have its challenges, and I’m sure it’s been harder for her than for me.” Why? “Because … ” He pauses and smiles. “Because I’m more of a twat!” In what way? Another smile. “I’m not going to tell you that, am I?”

Sheen’s break in America came when he was spotted by a casting director who told him he would be perfect for a new project. Ironically, it was to play former British prime minister Tony Blair in a British TV drama called The Deal, directed by British film-maker Stephen Frears and shot in Britain. The Deal led to Frears’s The Queen, about Elizabeth II’s frigid response to the death of Diana, Princess of Wales leading to a crisis for the monarchy. Again he played Blair, this time riding to the rescue of the royals. The movie was nominated for six Oscars (Helen Mirren won best actress) and he never struggled in America again.

The longer he lived in LA, however, the more rooted he felt to Port Talbot. And the further he travelled, around the world or just in Britain, the better he understood how disadvantaged it was. “If you’re in Port Talbot one day and then the next you’re in a little town in Oxfordshire where David Cameron is the MP, it’s fairly obvious there are very different setups there. And that was connected to a political awakening.” He started to read up on Welsh history. In 2017, he returned his OBE because he thought it would be hypocritical to hold on to an honour celebrating empire when he was giving a Raymond Williams lecture on the “tortured history” of the relationship between Wales and the British state.

He began to reassess his past. “I became more aware of the opportunity I’d had in an area where there wasn’t much opportunity. At a certain point you go, Oh, people are having to volunteer to make that youth theatre happen that I’m a product of.” You’d taken it for granted? “Completely. I was happy to think everything I was doing was because of my own talent and I was making my own opportunities, and as I got older I thought maybe that’s not the whole story.”

In 2016, the long-running American TV series Masters of Sex, in which Sheen starred as the pioneering sex researcher William Masters, came to an end. Lily was now 17 and preparing for college. “I suddenly thought, Oh, I can go home now.” And six years ago he finally did – to Baglan, a village adjoining Port Talbot. Since then he has been involved in loads of community projects.

He mentions a few in passing, but he doesn’t tell me he sold his two homes (one in America, the other in Wales) to ensure the 2019 Homeless World Cup went ahead as planned in Cardiff. Nor does he mention that a couple of years ago he started Mab Gwalia (translating to “Son of Wales”), which proudly labels itself a “resistance movement”. On its website, it states: “Mab Gwalia believes that opportunity should not only be available to those who can afford it. The ambition is to build a movement that makes change.” Its projects have supported homeless people, veterans, preschool children on the autism spectrum, kids in care, victims of high-cost credit, and local journalism, which is a particular passion. “In the early 1970s in Port Talbot, there was something like 12 different newspapers. There are none now. None. Communities don’t feel represented, don’t feel their voice is heard and don’t know if the information they’re getting about what’s going on in the community is correct or not. Those are terrifying things, and without local journalism that’s what happens.”

Perhaps surprisingly, he’s even found time for the day job. Earlier this year, he played Nye Bevan in Tim Pryce’s new play about the founding father of the NHS. He also made his directing debut with The Way, a dystopian, and prophetic, three-part TV drama about the closure of the Port Talbot steelworks that results in local riots spreading across the country. How does he feel about the rioting that has scarred the country in recent weeks? “I feel the same way I think most people do. It was awful and terrifying. I worry about how much a hard-right agenda that has been growing for a long time has moved further and further into the mainstream and has clearly got more connected. It’s frightening.” Does he think the new Labour government can deliver the positive change it promises? “Pppfft.”He exhales heavily. “More optimistic than the Conservatives being in power.” Who did he vote for? “That’s my God-given right to remain a secret, isn’t it? It wasn’t the Tories!”

I ask if he’s in favour of Welsh independence. “I don’t know how I feel about it one way or the other, but I would like there to be an open discussion about everything that entails. The problem is when it gets shut down and you don’t get to talk about it.”

Would he ever go into politics? He looks appalled at the idea. “Oh God, no. No! I’d beawful.”Why?“Because I don’t want to say what other people are telling me to say if I don’t agree with it. Look at all those people who voted against the two-child benefit cap and had the whip taken away from them. That’s bollocks. People say I should go into politics because I’m passionate about things and I speak my mind. But then you get into politics and you’re not allowed to do that any more. I’ve got far more of a platform as myself. I can say what I want to say.”

Fair enough. I’ve got another idea. A couple of years ago he gave an inspired motivational speech for the Wales football team before the 2022 men’s World Cup, on the TV show A League of Their Own. Would he take the job as Wales manager if offered it? He looks just as horrified as the idea of a life in politics. “No!” Why not? “Because it’s a completely different profession. You need to know about football. I played football when I was younger, but I wouldn’t have a clue. Wouldn’t. Have. A. Clue. Just because you can make a speech doesn’t mean you’d be any good at that sort of stuff.” He says he was embarrassed about the speech initially, but now feels proud of it. “Schools get in touch and say, ‘We’ve been studying it with the class.’ I put hidden things in. There are rabbit holes you can go down.” He quotes the line, “You sons of Speed” and tells me that’s a reference to the idolised former manager and player Gary Speed who took his life in 2011. You can hear the emotion in his voice.

I’ve been waiting for Sheen to mention the new TV drama about Prince Andrew. Most actors direct you to the project they’re promoting as soon as you sit down with them. Let’s talk about the new show, I  eventually say.

This is already the second drama about the Andrew interview. Did he know that Scoop, which came out earlier this year, was already in the works? “Yes, I knew before I agreed to do this.” Was it a race to see which would get out first? “There was no race, no. We always knew ours would come out after.” What would he say to people who think it’s pointless watching another film on the same subject? “Ours is a three-part story, so it’s able to breathe a lot more. There’s a lot more to it. In our story, Andrew and Emily are the main characters whereas they were very much the supporting ones in the other one.”

Did it change his opinion of Andrew? “No. It showed the dangers of being in a bubble, having talked about being in a bubble myself! The dangers of privilege.” He talks with sensitivity about Andrew’s downfall. “The thing that really struck me was when Andrew came back from the Falklands there was no one more revered, in a way. I didn’t realise his job was to fly helicopters to draw enemy fire away from the ships. I couldn’t believe they would put a royal in that position, so he was genuinely courageous. He was good-looking, a prince, and had everything going for him. Since then everything has just gone down and down and down.” He’s had so little control over his life, Sheen says. Take his relationships. “He was told he couldn’t be with [American actor] Koo Stark any more because of the controversy. He was essentially told he had to divorce Sarah Ferguson because the royal family, particularly Philip allegedly, was concerned that she would bring the family into disrepute.”

Did he end up feeling more empathetic towards him? “No!” he says sharply. Then he softens slightly. “Well, empathy? I felt I understood a bit more – because that’s my job – about what was going on. But he’s incredibly privileged and has exploited that. It seems like he has a lot taken away from him but probably rightfully so.”

A Very Royal Scandal is like The Crown in that it’s great drama but you’re never sure what’s real. Are Andrew’s lines simply made up? “It’s a combination of research and stories out there, and little snippets and invention.” While Emily Maitlis is an executive producer, Andrew most certainly is not. “Well, that’s the real difficulty for our story,” Sheen says. “On the one hand, you’ve got Emily as an exec, so you know everything to do with her is coming from the horse’s mouth. But everything to do with Andrew, not only is it really difficult to get the actual stuff, also we don’t know what he did.” He pauses. “Or didn’t do.” He’s talking about Virginia Giuffre’s allegation that Andrew raped her, which he denied. In the end, Giuffre’s civil case was dropped after an out-of-court settlement was reached on no admission of liability by Prince Andrew, with Giuffre reportedly paid around £12m.

I had assumed Sheen would be a staunch republican, but he doesn’t feel strongly either way. “There are lots of positives about royals, and lots of negatives.” His bugbear is that the heir to the throne gets to be Prince of Wales. “Personally, I would want the title of Prince of Wales to be given back to Wales to decide what to do with it, and I definitely think there’s a lot of wealth that could be used better.”

The biggest change for Sheen since returning to Wales is his family life. In 2019, he revealed that he had a new partner, the Swedish actor Anna Lundberg, that she was 25 years younger than him, and that she was pregnant. They now have two daughters – Lyra who is coming up to five, and two-year-old Mabli. As well as Staged, the couple have also appeared together on Gogglebox. They look so happy, nestling into each other, laughing at the same funnies, tearing up over the same heartbreakers. She also seems naturally funny. Given that two of his former partners (Sarah Silverman and Aisling Bea) are comedians, have all his exes had a good sense of humour? He thinks about it. “Yes. Yeah, you’ve got to have a laugh, haven’t you?” And he’s always got on well with them after splitting up? “Yeah, pretty much.”

When asked about the age difference between Lundberg and him on The Assembly, he acknowledged that they were surprised when they got together. “We were both aware it would be difficult and challenging. Ultimately, we felt it was worth it because of how we felt about each other, and now we have two beautiful children together.” He also said that being an older father worried him at times. “It makes me sad, thinking about the time I won’t have with them.”

Does being a dad of such tiny kids make him feel young or old? “Both,” he says. “My body feels very old. But everything else feels much younger. I’m 55 and it’s knackering running around after little kids. Just physically, it’s very demanding. And I’m at a point in my life where I’m aware of my physical limitations now. But in other ways it’s completely liberating, and I’m able to appreciate it more now.”

Has he learned about fatherhood from the first time round? “Yeah, I think so. I’m around more now. That’s a big part of it. When Lily was young, I was in my early 30s and doing films for the first time, so Kate would stay in Los Angeles with Lily and I would go off and do whatever.” Did Beckinsale resent that? “I don’t know that she resented it. Kate was doing better than me in terms of profile at the time, so it was different. Given that we then split up and I saw Lily even less, I very much regretted being away as much. So this time I wanted to make sure that wasn’t the case. That’s partly why I’ve set up a Welsh production company. I don’t want to work away from them as much.”

Talking of which, he says, what’s the time? “I’ve got to get back to my kids.”

On his way out, I ask what advice he would give his younger self. He says he was asked that recently and gave a glib answer. “I said buy stock in Apple.” What should he have said? He thinks about it, and finally says he’d have no advice for his younger self. He’d rather reverse the question, and think what his younger self would say to him if he tried to advise him.

“I saw an amazing clip of Stephen Colbert saying your life is an accumulation of every bad choice you’ve made and every good choice you’ve made, and the great challenge of life is to say yes to it. To say, ‘I love living, I embrace living.’ And in order to do that you have to embrace all the pain, all the grief, all the sadness, all the fucking mistakes because without that you don’t have all the other stuff.” He’s on a roll now, louder and more passionate by the word. “And I’d hate it if someone came and went, ‘Don’t do this, no do that.’ Then you just sail through your life. It would be death, wouldn’t it? So I’d tell my older self to go fuck himself.”

[snarky-art]

Thriving vs Survivng, am I right, lads?

Bloom and Stella eventually get married, Daphne and the woman with her, Nadia, an oc I made and have mentioned a few times, get married with Daphne to be next in line as Queen of Domino, and Aisha and Musa get married one day, but are currently in this pic going through some Shit that’s putting a huge damper on that.

More info on everyone and political drama stuff below the cut!

Bloom and Stella are thriving.

Polyamory is super duper normalized in a decent amount of places, and is considered a norm on Solaria. Stella is eventually married both to Brandon and Bloom. Both of Bloom’s sets of parents love Stella and are incredibly happy for her. After much talk and deliberation between Daphne, Bloom, Marion, and Oritel to see how Bloom and Daphne are feeling after Daphne is healed up and in a good place and has processed shit, it’s decided Daphne will continue as heir and shall be next in line for rulership. Bloom meanwhile shall continue her role as guardian fairy, Holder of The Flame, and eventually upon her marriage to Stella will be Queen Consort of Solaria. She has a lot more flexibility this way too to go where she feels most comfortable, between Earth and other areas in The Magical Realm. Oritel and Marion don’t want Bloom or Daphne to feel trapped or be stifled with immense pressure if they can help it, and Bloom is still most comfortable on Earth, so having the option to go back and forth is important and something Marion and Oritel want her to not feel cut off from it, a mistake they made early on when they first got brought back from their stasis.

Formal picture of Nadia finally! An oc from Earth I made who’s Daphne’s gf and eventual wife. I thought it would be nice for Daphne to not worry about contextualizing her grief and trauma with someone who already had preconceived notions of her from myths and legends over the last 1000+ years.

Nadia: so you’re Bloom’s sister! That’s so cool! Do you have magic too?

Daphne, who at this point while not the holder of the flame anymore is still an incredibly powerful fire elemental who retains her nymphix and could hand bloom’s ass to her and call upon The Dragon at will whenever she wants: uh, yeah, some I guess.

Bloom: glad to see being a useless lesbian is a universal trait instead of just earth specific

Daphne: exCUSE ME-

Royal balls be like “The Incarnation of God Itself, heir to The Great Pillar of all of Magic Domino, The Dragon Reborn, Supreme Nymph of Magix, Princess Daphne, and Nadia, Barista on Tuesday, Thursday, and Weekends, of the planet Earth”

Like, oh boy, THEE DAPHNE, and Nadia from Starbucks.

Also don’t worry it’s not actually a Starbucks. It’s a small local cafe and bakery spot that Bloom really likes. Daphne went with her once, saw Nadia, and went 👀. Daphne doesn’t even like coffee also she just goes there for Nadia and was too anxious to ask about any other drinks so she just gets what Bloom got, would makes Bloom, who is not at all rich on Earth, pay for it, and then didn’t actually drink it.

Also, Nadia is definitely wearing heels here.

She’s only around 5’9 or ~175cm, while as I’ve mentioned before, Daphne is 6’7 or ~200cm.

She like to wear different heels and go “ok NOW how close am I to being taller than you” or sometimes go “ok, I think I beat you this time” when she tries on a new pair

She’s never close obviously and they both know that because hehe funny joke, but Daphne will still go “oh, you just might’ve this time.”

Musa and Aisha meanwhile are Struggling. Not only is Musa someone who is already insanely anti-monarch in her governmental views, even one that operates more as a democracy, the government she’s working with can’t stand her.

I’ve mentioned in these posts how marriage works on Andros, and Musa is Not It. She’s not even a Land Androsian, which would’ve been considered a bit of a scandal because of how their government structure is set up. No it’s much worse, for oh no, she’s not an Androsian at all! Truly horrific (I say this sarcastically, but that’s genuinely what the nobles and a chunk of the population feel).

Musa is doing what she can to appease Androsian court.

Gold is a big fucking no no on Andros, but she doesn’t want to give that up since it’s a really important part of her culture.

Aisha is standing with her on that, but it doesn’t make it easier to deal with the assholes in court.

She’s even muted her reds to lean more towards purples and blues.

Muting the reds was a huge olive branch of sorts and she’s pissed about it and doesn’t like doing it (but she did it, and it wasn’t even appreciated, but WHATEVER), but she refuses to get rid of the golds (good for her).

Aisha has gold nail polish here also. She’s doing what she can, and eventually is just gonna say fuck it and start wearing straight up gold with her silvers and tell Musa to get back in the bright red or so help me-

Stella let’s Aisha borrow her stash specifically when she first start and immediately commissions some custom ones done for Aisha’s measurements.

[simp-ly-writes]

The Silent Duke (pt. 1.5)

─────── · · A Smosh Bridgerton/Historical AU

Pairing: Duke!Spencer Agnew x F!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: The newest writings from Lady Whistledown has been published detailing this seasons most eligible of bachelors and bachelorettes.

─ · · TAGS: bridgerton alternative universe, historical au, old-fashioned society, talks of marriage, hopeless-romantic reader, angst, fluff, and drama

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 471 | PART TWO

─ · · A/N: are we excited? 👀 (because I am! ✨)

─────── · ·

Dearest Gentle Reader,

It has occurred to me that it has been quite some time since my last update but fear not- your writer is back to report on the tons gossip.

A new season is upon us, will romance bloom within the Queens gardens once more? As last season we welcomed a most charming of couples, Penelope and Colin Bridgeton following his eldest brother the Viscount Anthony's and Viscountess Kates romance the year before. Will we be seeing Mister Benedict finally find love? Or will another family take to the spotlight?

Well, this author can already report to you that that is the case for a certain Duke has decided that this season he is to return back to the ton. After much time away studying amongst scholars and artists alike, the Duke Agnew has taken residence back in our fair city of Mayfair and has already caused quite the stir for hopeful mama's. Yet not anyone has gained the chance to make the Duke's acquaintance even when hosting their first event to start the season that it makes this author question how our Queen has faired with this information.

But even the most introverted and closed-door personalities do not stray from my pen as I've learned a great deal about the Duke Agnew. He has interests in literature, a patron of the arts. He houses a vast number of animals and collection of trinkets brought from his travels abroad and is said to have been spotted playing pall-mall and polo with his closet friend Mister Tran; a globe-trotter and seasoned sailor turned trades businessman who has also taken to the floor this season in the looks for a wife.

Yet that look seems to have already narrowed towards a certain Miss (name) as the potential couple has been seen dancing at balls and promoting around high park together. Could these most eligible of singles have already made up their hearts and minds? Or could there be another to split these two apart?

Well the ton most definitely thinks so as Miss (name) has been declared this seasons Diamond of the First Water and various mama's and papa's are ready to fight tooth and nail for their sons to have a chance with the charming and most beautiful (name).

But this author has been informed that apparently the ever intelligent and elegant (name) has shown little interest in finding a husband this season- so what is to think of their relationship with Mister Tran?

A most scandalous situation we find ourselves observing as Miss (name)'s block is filled down and around the corner with suitors and gifts these past afternoons. Whatever will come from this?

Well fear not, dear reader for this author will let you know even before the first mouth of gossip can open.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown

─────── · ·

[nightingale2004]

OK, bridgerton people, I finished up the last season, and I have a LOT to say

First off, I think it's COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC that Daphne and Simon, along with their beautiful children, are not with the other Bridgertons soaking up all this drama and scandals that's been going on in ther family. SERIOUSLY WHAT HAPPENED?! was there a problem with the actors? Or something? Like what happened that made the actors and the children NOT MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN THE SEASON OF BRIDGERTON?!

Secondly, I also find it unrealistic that Anthony and Kate literally missed out ON PENELOPE'S LADY WHISTLEDOWN REVEAL?! LIKE, SERIOUSLY?! I get that Anthony wants to be with Kate and get to know her culture, but Anthony and his amazing Goddess wife Kate have missed out on the biggest reveal and scandal to hit their family! I so badly wanted to know what their reaction was going to be and their thoughts that Anthony's little brother is F*cking married to a gossip writer. Including Benedict.

I need to know! I can literally already imagine both Kate and Anthony reading the letter that Penelope is Whistedown and their reactions (to me) are hilarious 😂

Thirdly, I kind of wanted the secret identity of Lady Whistledown to be a secret a little while longer. Like maybe after Benedicts season. That's just my personal opinion. But I did want the queen to still find out and have Penelope and Charlotte have a private alliance. Penelope still gets to write under the approval of the queen as long as the queen looks at it first and maybe becomes the queens eyes and ears.

Lastly, I would like to acknowledge the haters here who don't like the change of gender of Michael Stirling, aka Michaela Stirling, and are fearing for their lives that Sophie Beckett will become Stephen Beckett.

Firstly, we are not the creators of this fantastic world. OK? The author is, Netflix is making this show into a reality, and those of us that actually like the show are actually OK and loving with how things are going especially the reveal that not just one but THREE bridgerton siblings ARE a part of LGBTQ+ community. Can we all just take a moment and not go backward to the "Annabeth shouldn't be black" incident. I know these two incidents don't relate because one has to do with race and the other has to do with gender but can the haters just stop. I believe the authors and creators of this AMAZING show know what they are doing, and the bridgertons along with Queen Charlotte are one of the few shows I like that haven't been canceled yet. So consider this a freaking win people.

If the creators want to change a few things, then let them change a few things, we are fans, and we have something called fanfics to which we read and write if there's something we don't like or can't live with when it comes to a fandom series. As long as the creators of the show keep giving us our daily dose of drama and do the bridgerton books justice than I for one am going to keep on watching and being invested in this fandom.

And haters one final message to you, if you don't like the shows, THEN STOP WATCHING THE SHOWS!!!!!!!

I have said my peace. And there is plenty more to come

[jadeshifting]

🍅 i don't like tomatos but i like drama

LOLL REAL

🍅 SCARLET TOMATO … what’s the juiciest secret you’ve ever kept or will keep in your DR? the kind of scandalous thing that would positively burst into drama if revealed

★⋆. — IN MY HOGWARTS DR

the juiciest secret I’ve got locked away—and believe me, it’s a juicy one—is that Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger are sneaking around like a pair of star-crossed lunatics. Gryffindor’s golden girl and Slytherin’s prince, all clandestine meetings and smoldering stares across the library—and in the broom closet by the dungeon entrance, which is where i unfortunately found them that one time (gag.) if anyone found out, the castle would combust in a glorious mess of gossip and hexes. but me? i’m just sitting pretty with front-row seats to the drama that could unfold… if I were a worse friend

★⋆. — IN MY SUPERNATURAL DR

this one isn’t just one of those little skeletons you tuck away in a closet—no, this one’s practically a full-blown graveyard.

there’s this one hunt, right when i start tagging along with Sam and Dean. we’re up against a crossroads demon, and here’s the thing about crossroads demons—they’re all about deals. me? i’ve got a history with them.

it isn’t the kind of thing i feel like unpacking with the boys. years ago, when I was barely more than a kid with nowhere to go and nothing to lose, i stood at a crossroads myself. and yeah, i made a deal. ten years of freedom in exchange for a soul I didn’t think I’d need anyway. i’d planned to outwit the system, find some loophole, or just live wild and free while the clock ticked down.

the secret isn’t just the deal—it’s that I’m still on borrowed time. the clock is ticking, and neither of them has any idea. if they found out? it’d be the drama of the century. Sam would get all earnest and determined to save me, probably drowning in research until he passed out, and Dean? Dean would be furious, storming around and yelling.

★⋆. — IN MY EVER AFTER HIGH DR

let me just say this—when you’re the future queen of Eros’ Kingdom, the tea you hold isn’t just hot, it’s boiling. i’m talking love triangles that could crumble kingdoms, forbidden crushes that would make headlines, and alliances so tangled they’d crush political alliances in a half-second.

maybe the juiciest is that there’s a certain royal someone who’s been sneaking around with someone they definitely shouldn’t be. i won’t spill who, because Cupid confidentiality, you know? my wings are heavy with secrets… besides, i’m not exactly unfamiliar with falling in love with someone below your political status (a bodyguard. embarrassingly cliche)

★⋆. — IN MY WALKING DEAD DR

it’s gotta be the fact that i wrote Carl a love letter before everything went sideways with Negan. it’s probably still tucked under my mattress, sealed in an envelope with his name on it, and no one but me knows what’s inside. i didn’t even plan on giving it to him—i mean, what if he laughed, or worse, just didn’t feel the same? i can imagine Carl reading about how I wanted us to road trip down Route 66 in the Ranger, just the two of us, collecting supplies and chasing sunsets. or how I admitted, plain as day, that being with him made the apocalypse feel like something I could survive. if he found out, i don’t know how he’d feel, so I stuffed it away, figuring it was safer as my little secret

[soleil-read]

The last installment of The Reluctant Male Bridgerton Re-watch.

We sat down and binged the last 3 episodes as he was busy on Thursday evening and leaving on Friday morning. So here's the recap until season 3 (in no particular order)

1) "these two have the best chemistry. Much better than the first couple. But i think cuz one doesn't look so young. I have no idea how anyone will beat them." Kanthony for the win!

2) "they tease each other like brothers, they did great casting." A/B/C

3) "ooh, someone is scheming the other one. Is he playing her or is she playing him?" Lord Featherington and Portia

4) "I think Edwina has the right to be pissed. But how are they gonna fix it so those two can marry?"

5) "uhh, Eloise keeps going back to this guy. Remember when I thought it was gonna be the Footman? Oops, got that one wrong!"

6) "so Colin is starting to like Penelope now heh? it's good to see that cuz he was so hung up on the other one, I couldn't figure how he was gonna start liking Penelope but I can sort of see it happening now." Said after the cake-purpose scene. But he unfortunately changes his tune at the end of the episode.

7) "the acting is much better this season. Like everyone is good. I think the Bridgerton mom is really good. And the Queen is good too."

8) "I predict Portia kills Lord Featherington during the ball." Haha! What a scandal that would have been!

9) "I like that there are so many unresolved storylines going into season 3. Like the art guy and Penelope and Eloise. Like it's not just gonna be about a couple, other things are happening. Season 2 was better than season 1 for that too."

10) "not gonna lie, I like this over Pride and Prejudice. It has funny moments and more drama. I'm not as bored. I'll watch season 3 when it comes out." So another Bridgerton fan was made in less than a month, nice!

11) "I like that those two fought. Like it made them interesting, but I think they'll make up, before Colin and Penelope at least." Gosh, I really hope Peneloise are back in season 3.

12) "ouch, she's had a rough night. I thought he was supposed to be kind to Penelope? But I guess that's the way guys are, all talk and everything is for laughs. But the way he says it, I mean, damn!" He actually read the scene as Colin making fun of Pen. I wont post what he actually said cuz I vehemently disagreed that THAT is how the show meant for Colin to perceive Penelope. And I was a bit shocked he viewed it that way. Anyway, he thinks Penelope shouldn't forgive and move on. I spoiled him about the books and showed him the Season 3 pics in hopes to turn the tide. It's interesting to note that his view of Colin hasn't been overly favorable whereas I think Colin is a great character. More impassioned and impulsive than the books but overly a good guy. His views on Penelope aren't as clear. He loves her reactions mostly. Although he says she's a better character in season 2 over season 1.

13) "geez, this show sure likes to show the guys going downtown on the ladies. Its like the Bridgerton sex trademark!" OMG, 🤣

14) "Okay, is everyone just watching these two make out? The moms are right there!" Epilogue, haha

So that's it. It's been a lot of fun watching through the eyes of a non-Bridgerton fan. Kept me more honest. Both Colin and Penelope are not perfect, but I can't wait to see them grow and develop as individual characters and as a couple. Season 3 cannot come soon enough.

Thanks for sticking around! I encourage everyone who can, find a reluctant male (it doesn't have to be your spouse, mine was my ex) and do your own re-watch. We could start a series, lol!

[alyjojo]

October 🌹 2024 Monthly - Pisces

Preshuffle: An ex or a soon to be-ex is eagerly running towards a repeated karmic cycle of their same Knight of Wands antics. You know this already - The High Priestess. Or it’s a secret 🤫 Yours?

Meditation: This is some intense…spiritual energy. I’m seeing someone unwrapping several different things, kind of like gifts, but it’s more like things wrapped up to be put away. It’s been in storage, you’re unwrapping memories. Unpacking furniture even, some. Some you don’t like anymore, it doesn’t apply, you’ve grown - time to trash it 🗑️ I’m seeing Neptune, your ruler, moving backwards, and it will continue through Dec 7th, this will probably continue to be a process for through that time. Clean up 🧽

Main energy: Ace of Wands

What’s going on in October:

Knight of Wands, Page of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, 2 Cups rev, Queen of Wands

You or your person are dealing with two people. It’s definitely a third party situation, for some it’s romantic, Queen of Wands is whoever “the lover” is. Or the option, may not be a full-on lover but they’re interested and around. Maybe just existing. Could be someone else, could be you.

The intentions or actions of whoever pulled some Knight of Wands - passionate, impulsive, flirty - that kind of behavior is now worried or has you worried about what they’re doing. I see an apology with that, they don’t want to fight, they’re telling you there’s no one else. 5 Swords rev & 7 Cups, no more confusion, no bs, there’s no one else. I’m sorry, forgive me? This could be a parent, teacher, or authority figure of some kind too - an oops from someone who should know better. Dumbassery. But…could be you too so I don’t judge lol 🙃 Family at the bottom shows who this involves or where the focus is/needs to be, some kind of passionate “entanglement” or an outside influence of some kind has or will create conflict in a home/family. Could be your parents fighting, sibling, sibling and their spouse, doesn’t have to be you at all, but you’re over there doing xyz and shit goes down. You’re involved, or present anyway. Could be some kind of drama with your partner’s people too.

Whoever the wife is, or the main partner, this is Queen of Pentacles. You or someone else idk. That person is getting the offer, the apology, the “baby please I’m sorry” speal, and someone is leaving behind a lover or cutting them off - 2 Cups rev & Queen of Wands. Now it could just be some attractive person they chat with at the grocery checkout, twice now, and y’all don’t go to Kroger anymore because fuck you & that, grow up 😆 It depends on the level of the crime - where this goes. Could be related to work too, someone attractive at work or some kind of flirty something. That’s ending.

Advice for Pisces:

The Devil & The Emperor. Assuming you’re not The Emperor, then this person is under a lot of pressure, having to fight their own demons and bs. Some may have cheated. Some toed the line of some scandalous bs. This can all can be your partner being all smiley with your kid’s principal at school, is it harmless or not? Are they just not thinking? For someone that’s the case. It’s up to you to draw the lines and take control of a situation with The Emperor. Or, could be the law for someone. Police even. Someone is sorry in any case, but not every issue here is worth forgiving, it’s case by case. Some are a deep level of betrayal, others nooo they were just smiling a lot, the story was funny. Or they say that 💯 Some of you are the lovers or the third person & on the whole other side of this issue, you’re being left behind by someone immature & impulsive that didn’t know wtf they were getting into with you. They’re trying to clean up their pride and whatever mess they made. Mask & Saving seem to cut right to the point, is this something worth saving? For them/you. Could be a whole job even, if this was a work affair, or a story that’s similar to that. Either you’re the one controlling a toxic situation, setting boundaries, you need to, or someone may be using authority as a way to control you. Or that’s switched. Or the law gets involved 👮 because that’s definitely here for someone. If someone is into drugs or something, this isn’t a good omen for getting away with things. Unless you’re the one calling. Someone could have a boss that’s sexually harassing them or out of line in some toxic way. Could just be your dad causing some chaos at home this month.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aries, Cancer, Aquarius, Scorpio & Gemini

Oracle: ✨

Mask 🎭

Deception - Pretending - Inconstancy

Saving 💰

Preservation - Collection - Meanness

17 Flash

A creative flash of inspiration will come to you and quickly give you the perfect solution.

We enter into October as:

Pistachio 🎩

“I’ve got all I could ever need, right here.”

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. They can begin to snowball. Pistachio wants you to live the life that he can’t seem to participate in. He is saying “Stop waiting for the right time to live your life!” This isn’t the dress rehearsal, it’s the real thing. You could be on the verge of something big, and if you don’t participate, you’re going to watch it pass you by. Don’t let anything prevent you from taking a chance. It is important to do what you love to do, but are you letting new experiences in? Or are you in a comfort zone that’s leading nowhere? Doing the same thing and expecting something different is not likely. The time is now to take a risk, talk to people, show up for life! Live now! Don’t wait another day.

What is to be learned in October:

Shadow Grey Storm ⛈:

“I can no longer hold your secrets.”

In the most direct way, Shadow Grey Storm is about taking responsibility and not blaming others for your situation in life. This Storm was created to clear away the debris preventing us from moving forward. It could be something you are angry about (but have chosen to bury) is about to be re-revealed to you. This is an inevitable awakening, whether by conscious choice or not, you cannot hide and move forward at the same time. While this comes without judgement, it brings judgement day. Whether it is a pleasant experience or not, you will feel an awakening, a refreshing release from your bonds. This is a blessing. No matter the background, we all have secrets we hide. Your best protection is honesty. The rays of light in Shadow Grey Storm are piercing knowledge and hidden truth, and there is a great discovery coming to you too.

Grey may be a lucky color 🩶

[royaltyspeaking]

People insisting the alleged cheating is what made it happen but that makes no sense to me and if anything the titles mess is proof that she had already made her choice. She made sure Fred won't start his reign as the cruel King that takes away titles from poor those children (🙄) and hates his brother. The drama, real or not, messed up what was supposed to be a sequence of perfect events that would end her reign with huge success and "introduce" Fred as a good King. Sucks for them that the fantasy was a bit broken but did it even make noise in Denmark? Doubt any of it will have a massive impact but who knows. I just want to see Queen Mary lmao.

If anything, this is confirmation that there was no affair. No way Daisy would hand the throne over right now if there was any question regarding the stability of the Crown Princely Couples marriage. And in what universe does a monarch step down in favor of their son to cover up said sons scandals? You wait that shit out. This is real life, not a television script.

Plus, the affair rumors never gained much traction and haven't been taken seriously. They're only mentioned now because they generate more clicks for the articles written about the abdication.

[outsidereveries]

— has ahyeon left babymonster?;;

mainly geomancy reading

thanks to @/geomanteia (not tagging the account because i don’t quite know if letty would be fine with tagging), i found my new joy when i can do readings at night without waking someone up, lol

i could say this was requested from x, so let’s check!

i would say no, so here i’ll focus on 3 things.

1) her relationship with yge: 1st house, fortuna major

her relationship with the company is actually really great. i would even say one of the greatest, which considereing what is the company and how they function, quite odd. from what i see, they benefit each other. however, the neighbour house shows losses. ahyeon’s scandal, coincidence or not, slows the girls’ debut. since i asked did she left yge and baemon, it looks like she’s “on hiatus” as babymonster member.

2) her situation according to outsiders: 3rd house, caput dragonis

it looks like according to the k-netizens and possibly the international ones, the company haven’t teached ahyeon anything on purpose to see her patience and emotional support, i.e. to test her. therefore, it can be yge’s fault for ahyeon’s scandal. i would even say they leaked these videos on purpose😐

3) how her situation affects her career: 4th house, rubeus

unfortunately her situation is badly affected for her individual relevance, so unless she personally apologises and “fix” herself (admit to her mistakes and learn her lesson), her situation won’t be brighter. the neighbour house (fifth) shows the same relationship with her fans, her audience, so therefore is really worse but can be fixed.

4) ahyeon herself: 7th house (because i am the asking this), cauda dragonis

because of the current situation with her, she doesn’t trust the company. perhaps she have learned the truth about her company’s intentions? she blames the company for her mental health, it seems to be unstable because of the drama. the situation’s secrets (6th house) are just the luck for ahyeon because of her realising her mistake. unfortunately, due to her company, there are doubts if she realised this as her mistake or not. we aren’t sure if she can apologise properly. the other one, 8th, since it’s about personal gains, it shows losses, as we’ve already seen. unless she’s “doing better” and apologise properly, which if yg doesn’t allow, they have to unless ahyeon will be in this situation for a while (i’d say дередже but since it’s dialect word? phrase? in bulgarian, situation is properly enough) in its best and baemon’s debut could be delayed indefinitely unless there are other actual issues.

conclusion (answer, laetitia): no, she’s still babymonster member. furthermore, she might have more creative freedom than the rest of the girls. the company like her so much to the extent they’re willing to make her “more free”. the hiatus seems to be ahyeon’s choice.

oracle card for clarification: successful career (i think it’s self-explaining lol)

tarot cards for clarification: 6 of pentacles, queen of wands • the hanged man

basically the bottom card confirmed the hiatus. queen of wands is ahyeon herself bc she’s leo while the 6 of pentacles can be the rest of babymonster which explains the hiatus enough imo. since the both cards are positive.. there’s no sense to say she’s leaving or something as of now.

(chart, i numbered the houses)

Edit, again: about my “chart”, i added the judge, the 15. with the 1st mother, 1. Since the first mother represents me, Ahyeon personally is represented by the 3rd daughter, 7th house. I am still not sure if I made a mistake, but if I add the third daughter to the judge, it would be Acquisitio (2 dots, then 1, then 2 and in the end one). The overall answer isn’t changing in my point of view.

Edit #3: Yeah, I did. Since I practice geomancy with questions related to me ofc I’ll mix them up😭

[silmarillaure]

The news about riize has made me so angry. These people are absolutely fucking disgusting and something seriously needs to be done about this. Taeil can drug and gang rape a girl and everyone’s silent but a boy smokes and has a girlfriend predebut??? And people act like this! Its ridiculous… but also I can’t believe you like both silm AND Kpop!! What groups do you stan? Who are your biases?

T@e!l is the wrong comparison to make here.

No one supports T@e!l, Korean & International netizens ALL hate him. He was immediately removed (thankfully) and I think everyone just wants to forget about his existence because who wants to keep a r@p!st on their mind. There's nothing to protest for, his career is done.

Obviously Seunghan's treatment by OT6 Briize is evil & unforgivable though. It just has nothing to do with T@e!l and isn't comparable.

It's just purely stupid & idiotic how OT6 Briize wanted to & succeeded in punishing Seunghan for being a normal teenager. It happened PRE-debut, years ago... it's pointless witch hunting him for it now, but apparently not being a celibate virgin is punishable by d@ath threats & having to leave your group.

The thing is, just look at the rest of RIIZE. They're all beautiful gorgeous boys. Do the same people who hate Seunghan for dating think that pretty boy Wonbin & k-drama beauty Sungchan have always been and will always be single? How did they look at Seunghan's stunning face and think he would have no game?

This is ridiculous and it's even more ridiculous SM caved in and sided with the people sending him funeral wreaths for the sin of dating. They've never been good at defending their artists from haters, but some of their most popular artists/former artists have had dating "scandals". Jonghyun, Taeyeon, Baekhyun, Kai, Krystal... they all got a terrible amount of hate but didn't loose their careers.

....

My Stan List & Biases:

BTS: Got me into K-pop and are true artists. Their Korean discography is a masterpiece & I love how BTS's rapline are real rappers and not just "Idol rappers" who mumble/fast talk. Also I appreciate the Rapline's heavy involvement in their music, they do way more than most idols. (OT7 are all my biases but Jin & J-Hope are my bias wreckers.)

ATEEZ: I've been a fan for years now & I'm so proud of how far they've come. I can't say I love every single comeback but their music usually grows on me & when it works it just works. Seonghwa & Hongjoong are my biases & Yeosang is my bias wrecker but I love everyone.

Le Sserafim: Sakura Miyawaki is my queen & she is a stage presence demon who I will defend til my last breath. They're also the funniest group. Eunchae is my bias wrecker, she's so gosh darn cute & charming.

Victon (now inactive): They had some good f*cking music. I still keep up with by bias Han Seungwoo's releases with are usually good.

WOODZ (soloist): I love self produced idols who make good music. Not to mention he's also good at everything & doesn't lack in vocals, dance, or rap. What an icon!

ZB1: I know they're a temporary group but they're genuinely one of the best groups ever. I can't believe such a perfect group was made with no MNET rigging! Each member is so talented & they ALL deserved their spots in the group. Not to mention they're all funny af with great visuals. Haobin are my biases & everyone else is a bias wrecker.

NCT Dream: I stan them but I don't really have a bias or bias wrecker. I like them all about the same & their bond as a group is heartwarming. Their music is also the best in NCT.

I would stan NCT 127... if only I liked their music. Yuta is my bias & Taeyong is my bias wrecker though.

I don't quite stan ILLIT, but I was rooting for Moka all throughout the survival show RUNext. I'm so glad she made it and it's amazing to see her become so popular when she was really underappreciated pre-debut. I'm also just rooting for all the girls in general, they seem very sweet & deserve the best.

Also not quite K-pop but (K)J-pop - JO1: I love them, I love their music, I love their voices, their visuals, their personalities, amazing. Junki is my bias (oshi in Japanese) & Ren is my bias wrecker.

[thegamingcatmom]

I was remembering a scene from Evil Dead 2013, that basement scene... Mia licking that scandalous blonde's leg, it made me think a lot that behavior is so Maggot Mommy. So I thought "I have to share this with a person like me!" (Positively crazy)

omg YESSS 😩🤌

The exact same scene was playing over and over in my head when I first watched Maggot Mommy sniffing down Beth´s body. Like, I thought (hoped) for sure something similar was gonna happen (only to be disappointed, what a bummer).

I actually think that scene (2013) played a huge part in how I came to view Maggot Momma - or how I wanted to see her, I should say. In hindsight it was probably more of an unconscious decision - at some point it just...escalated (I think we´re all glad it did though lol).

Not but I wanted Deadite!Ellie to have that same feral energy, basically like a dog in heat lmao. So horny!Deadite!Ellie was born and she´s here to stay cause there´s no way she´s gonna give up her drug, her precious Drama Queen.

Thanks for that reminder! 🥰

[f0point5]

(penelope wag account anon) she’s definitely a much more passive “force” in the books, she kind of just reports on drama people wouldn’t necessarily know but that isn’t insanely scandalous (e.g. lady featherington being cruel to her servants or spotting a of certain people in certain places) but no one really cares who she is and her identity isn’t even a talking point until colin/penelope’s book (4th in the series). like no one’s trying to find out who she is (also the queen doesn’t exist as a character so that’s also another factor)

it was played up soooo much in the show and idk why even because i feel like whistledown was a good way to gauge who knew what in the ton and also who was wearing what. i think the author mainly used the whistledown passages as like. ways to start the chapters? if that makes sense

some chapters start off with a very short sentence that’s an “excerpt” from whistledown that’s somehow relevant to the chapter you’re about to read (think like, men often act irrationally or a small phrase like that) and also to tell you what day it is. this was phased out after polin’s book bc no one cared anymore so i was quite shocked that LW was made out to be so nefarious in the show

and then in penelope’s book we get a bit of a deeper dive into why she wrote what she wrote but yeah generally it was not a big deal just basically town gossip that you could read if you missed a ball and be caught up on everything that happened

Yeah I feel like it was a bit of a hook for the show, otherwise it might have come across as bit of a Jane Austen rip off. Because Bridgerton has really come with a fresh spin on “period drama” as opposed to the usual bbc adaptations. I feel like giving LW a “gossip girl” angle kind of brought the show forward to appeal to modern audiences, alongside the costuming and music (if you ever saw the show Reign they did something similar but their plots were far more “period”). I think they also wanted a sort of mystery element rather than just 8 episodes of romance, and LW is SO convenient to move the plot along, it’s like an in-built deus ex machina.

I feel like when I read the synopsis of Penelope’s book they mentioned she and Colin connect over being writers (they gave a nod to that in this season) so it makes more sense that in the books LW was less psycho and more just Penelope actually finding joy or release in writing, rather than this power trip of being the keeper of everyone’s secrets.

Because I think that’s what the point is in the show, the Penelope derives all her sense of purpose and agency from being a puppet master. I mean she’s basically Mona from Pretty little liars. It is honestly so unlikeable and I was glad Eloise read her to filth, I know they’ll make up but I don’t think Eloise has anything to apologise for

[corpuscristiano]

WAIT IS THAT...CRISTIANO? i forgot about that guy.

FULL NAME: Cristiano Martin Van Allen NICKNAMES: Cris, Van Allen AGE + DATE OF BIRTH: Twenty /// April 5th, 1965 ( i think???) JOB: Bartender @ The Pit MAJOR: Art Education

TRAITS: Worldly, Smart-Mouthed, Family-Oriented, Hypercritical, Confident, Flirtatious, Loud, Obtuse, Overdramatic INSPO: Katie Morosky (The Way We Were), Lito (Sense8), Odd Della Robia (Code Lyoko), Elliot (Euphoria)

SILLY LITTLE BIO FOR A SILLY LITTLE BOY🎊

Cristiano is by no means an outcast. He's been in the gang's orbit since before he could remember. But even so...Cris likes to think of himself as a lone wolf. A jaded artist staring down life's barrel with a smug grin.

Cristiano is by no means an outcast. He's been in the gang's orbit since before he could remember. But even so...Cris likes to think of himself as a lone wolf. A jaded artist staring down life's barrel with a smug grin.

This is mostly an act. Cris is a nerd first and foremost, and a budding community leader in his own right. He's read books by every activist known to man. He spends his free time in front of canvases and hodgepodge statues. He's the kinda guy who reminds all his friends about their Miranda rights...repeatedly.

His obsession with bridging art and activism started pretty young. It's kinda inevitable when your mom runs a boundary-pushing bookstore. Twigs was known as a cheap place to get used college textbooks and get psychic readings by the one and only Astrid Van Allen. He was a consumer first and foremost. An inquisitor. Yeah, that sounds right. Astrid Van Allen was more than happy to provide her son with the resources and the answers. She was gonna do this single mom thing right.

Maybe subconsciously, Cristiano wanted to be worldly for her. He saw the other kids in Cherry. Most of them had dads...and if they didn't there was an explanation. Astrid shut down any conversation revolving Cristiano's father...often in a tone that Cris could only define as "nice-nasty". When Cris won an art competition or got straight A's, those pesterings were replaced with backhanded compliments.

"He is shockingly well-behaved!"

"Do you think he gets that art stuff it from his dad?"

His love for him mom and for intersectional feminism (Thanks Maya Angelou!) made him very bitter about comments like these. Really...as he got older, the olden day mindsets in Cherry began to make him more and more angry. Cris started to vocalize this bitterness in school. Vandalizing bathroom stalls with Malcom X quotes. Interrupting teacher's lessons with counter-points and anecdotes about injustice.

Needless to say, this behavior landed Cristiano in detention quite often. The inevitability of the smart-mouthed activist constantly finding himself in trouble with "the establishment" fueled his artistic fire. By high school he was pretty well known by his loud mouth and louder art pieces. But things started to get weird in around that time. Well weirder than being raised by a woman who claimed to see spirits and auras. He and his friends were suddenly privy to stabbings, masked figures, drama queens, & cheating scandals. All great inspiration for Cris's artistic endeavors...but ironically deeply distracting for a kid just trying to get into fucking art school and flee Cherry with his mom in tow.

Graduation didn't help calm things down. Right before Cristiano could start classes at CCU (a very sizeable downgrade from his dream pick of UCLA), the news struck. The Van Allens could no longer afford to run Twigs. Maybe it was a drop in sales...maybe it was a mismanagement of money (Astrid was never the most responsible when it came to that kind of thing), but what was done was done.

Those times were a haze for Cris. His second home had seemingly gone up in smoke. He suddenly felt a responsibility to show up for his friends as they got pulled tighter and tighter into the mystery of the LDB. He became a ball of stress to put it lightly. And even as things began to resolve (If you could call Lux Lewis revealing to be a domestic terrorist and hightailing it outta there a resolution)…Cris felt like a changed kid. No…a changed man! He’s shaved his head, garnered a few stick & poke tattoos, and unfortunately…sold half of his art portfolio. He is the breadwinner of the Van Allen household nowadays after all.

These days Cris is a survivor first, artist/activist second. He spends his evenings slinging drinks and pretending to be a Russell brother at The Pit. He spends his days perusing his Art Education degree. If he's stuck in Cherry for the rest of his life, he might as well spend it empowering the young minds that inhabit it. Occasionally you might find him at the boardwalk selling caricatures and groaning about the imminent gentrification of Cherry. He's a good time! I swear!