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coucouatoi · 9 months ago

Text

don't want to be alone | h.s.

Pairings: Harry Styles x Reader

Summary: Divorcing the biggest superstar on the planet is the hardest thing you've ever done. Almost as hard as marrying him was.

Warnings: Angst, couples therapy, a little bit of fluff, hopeful ending

A/N: I don't know why I'm feeling so full of angst... but, please enjoy!

Flashback are in italic and present day is normal text

Boxes are littered around the house. Some full and taped shut others still being stuffed with your items. It's a slow and torturous process, having to choose what to take, what to throw out and what things are a conversation waiting to happen "That's a wedding gift from my aunt" or "When have you ever used that?" or even better "I know it was a gift, but I paid for it so i'll keep it". It's like he knows exactly which buttons to press to get the fights started. Granted you might be doing the same thing... But it doesn't make him entitled to all the belongings you've ever shared.

You've managed to find all the picture albums, the ones you decided to make for sentimental value. The ones you gifted him in tender moments. The ones filled with so much love, so much hope and promises for a future together. The ones you're now highly considering throwing into a paper shredder and tossing into the nearest incinerator. The ones you won't be able to get rid of. The anniversary album you gave him on your one year, the wedding album, the honeymoon album, the many travel albums and, of course, your daughter's first album.

Little Anya, barely 9 months old just starting to babble her first words. Chubby legs working so hard to keep her standing and exploring. She can barely take 3 steps one after the other but she's a fighter. Your little girl that is now a cause for argument, no, fights. Custody battles. The true war between yourself and your husband, Harry Styles. Neither of you want to lose or call for a tie, it's not how either of you operate in conflict. That, most likely, is the reason for the downfall of your relationship.

Frustrated you put the albums back where you found them and you head to the kitchen.

Most kitchen items have been packed up, Harry had never really invested in worthwhile cutlery or electronics of any sort. You take some orange juice from the fridge and pour a glass for yourself. The fridge itself is barren, with only the essentials left... neither of you has gone to the groceries in weeks. Today is not going to be a good day.

From the rediscovery of your love-filled albums to the boxes you've spent most of the day doing, you still have one horrible thing to do.

Couples therapy, your first-ever session. You thought, well still think, that this is too far gone to save in therapy. There won't be anything new shared that you haven't already screamed in each other's faces and self-help talks aren't exactly going to do the trick. Anne, Harry's mother, insisted that your marriage doesn't only include two people anymore. Anya makes it worth trying, she is worthy of a stable home as she grows up. No matter how unstable having a superstar parent may be, divorced parents might just add to that an unruly amount. So, you've both agreed to try. Try your very best to reassemble your love no matter how shattered it has become. Love. Love hasn't manifested itself once since about your seventh month of pregnancy. Love has vanished from your husband's once warm and inviting eyes, it no longer lingers on his fingertips and doesn't even creep into the more tender moments you must share with your baby. Love feels like a complete joke to you now.

The waiting room is empty of other clients which is a blessing in disguise. This is the absolute last place you'd want to run into Harries. Even if the media has already been dragging you in the mud for "breaking their dear superstar's heart" and has been making all sorts of claims about you and your marriage. In the very beginning, Harry had spoken up about these articles and had gotten his team to shut some people up but he's been losing care for... well, you.

"Harry and Y/N?" you look up meeting the eyes of who you can only assume is your therapist. Without sparring your husband a glance you get up and follow her into her office. It's cosy and smells like vanilla. There's a yellow glow to the room, it bounces off her multiple frames and decorations. Very nonthreatening, immediately putting you a little more at ease. She gestures for you to take a seat on her velvet green couch and you sit down squeezing yourself onto the left armrest. Harry does the same to the right.

"Good afternoon to you both, I am Trinity Finch. Can I get either of you something to drink before I sit down?" She smiles politely as her eyes shift between both of you. You only shake your head as an answer not trusting your stomach at the moment.

"Water if it's not too much trouble, please" Harry's voice is strained, he had been at the studio all morning probably preparing a new album you aren't aware of.

Trinity nods and quickly grabs a water bottle from a small fridge she's got right behind her desk. Harry mumbles a thank you as she hands it to him. You don't realise that his hands are shaking as you're back to looking around the room. He takes a few big gulps before your therapist gets to sit in her chair.

"Today I would just like to start with a history lesson on your relationship. How it started, all important moments, how parenthood has changed your shared life and just how you two are as a couple" She starts getting things ready around her, notebook, pens, highlighters, some sticky notes and you swear that you spotted some bright childish stickers. Her long manicured nails tap against the glass of her desk a few times as the silence stretches. Neither of you taking the first step in this session. When she looks up again she doesn't look annoyed or surprised by the lack of an answer.

"Harry, how did you meet your wife?" Trinity asks him gently.

Harry seems caught by surprise to have been asked a question directly. He looks at you briefly before turning his eyes back to her.

"Um, we meet on the plane. For some reason, my private plane for that day was not available and they booked me on a regular flight. Premium ended up being full and I got an economy seat. I had the aisle and she had the middle we ended up bonding over our shared movie choice. Then I asked her out and um here we are?" He ends with a question. As if unsure if "here" is a good thing, it's definitely not but meeting has, unfortunately, brought you both here.

"And when was this?" she asks.

"April 2018" he answers quickly. She nods presumably writing it down.

"How was your relationship before marriage Y/N?" she looks at you now with kind eyes. They are big and dark. Staring right into your soul. It makes you slightly uncomfortable but at the same time you don't want her to look away she's your lifeline right now.

"It was very easy. I work remotely as a translator and an editor, so I've always been able to tag along on his travels and tours. He, um, he always insisted that he rather have me with him even if we couldn't see each other every single day. Just knowing I was near helped him..." you sigh. You don't want to shed tears this early into your session. You don't want Harry to see you cry any more than he already has over your lost relationship.

"I really loved following him around the globe" you add, looking down at your lap willing your wet eyes to dry.

"Any fighting? How did you deal with that?" Trinity is still talking to you maybe even sensing that you're about to cry. Is that what she wants from this?

"Well, yeah. I mean all couples fight, right? We fought over the same things all the time really. I wanted more affection I guess pressuring him to take some time away from the spotlight or he wanted me all to himself whenever it worked with him without thinking of my work. Our jobs were the main reason for fighting between us" Besides you, Harry scoffs before taking another sip of water. Your head turns to him

so quickly that a sharp pain forms in the back of your neck. Your posture immediately tightens, muscles locking and your breath gets heavier.

"What? You don't agree?" you question him in a much harsher tone than you were previously using. He meets your gaze and shrugs.

"I do but that's not all we fought over" he shrugs again not looking away. Is he trying to pick a fight right now? Here of all places?

"Then what? What am I missing?" you prepare yourself for the worst. Ready to feel like absolute shit at anything he might say.

"Your constant jealousy was a contender for the most appearances in our fights" his entire expression is accusatory but he does this thing with his posture. Gets all soft and somewhat blazé making you feel inferior and so incredibly small.

You want to storm out. Call Anne to apologise that it couldn't work out and immediately sign the divorce papers that are permanently placed right on your dining table.

Not wanting to fuel this energy taking over him right now you shrug as well before facing Trinity again. She's watching both of you like a hawk, processing the way you react to conflict with each other. Making mental notes as well as some physical ones all while hostility happens between her clients.

"We'll move on from this for now. Harry, how was the wedding? How did married life change your bond?" this seemingly calms his overgrown ego. His face is neutral again but there's a softness to it now, recalling the happy days.

"We had an Italy wedding. We, I love Italy. I flew everyone out, our families and friends, and then we stayed there for a month more for our honeymoon. The wedding itself was... amazing. We kept it small. Intimate. With my life it's always been hard to have that so, it was important to us" he sounds blissful towards the last part. Probably back there now in his mind. Ah, the good old days as they say.

"I don't think married life changed us much. We were living together before that and we'd been planning it since we got together practically" he stops talking again to take another sip of water. You look at the lady in front of you again and as she begins to open her mouth to probably question him more Harry starts talking again.

"I guess tension started about a year in. The media wasn't kind to her. They made up cheating rumours on both sides and manipulated things to make them seem like something else. Someone even showed up at our old house while I was out" he took a deep breath, cracking some of his knuckles at the same time, "We were always on edge around each other. Throwing these rumours at one another just to I don't know, get a reaction? Plus, we were stuck at home because of Covid and my tour was postponed. It was a real shit show" he laughs bitterly and you nod along to what he was saying. That was just a terrible time. For everyone.

"Then I got to go on tour, Y/N didn't follow along for all of it but she was there most of the beginning. It wasn't the same as before. There was this distance that just never got better. And then she got pregnant" he almost sounds exhausted. Maybe he is, you're not sure how much he's slept lately.

Shit. Fuck. This can't be happening now. Shit! The word "Pregnant" seems to be mocking you as you look down at it. Mocking the fact that you and Harry have not seriously spoken in two days and that you're flying back home tomorrow. Mockingly reminding you that this can only make things worse right now.

"Y/N, come on the car is waiting downstairs" your husband's voice is weak through the thick hotel bathroom door. He's performing in Toronto tonight. The second day, the last day before he flies to New York and you go back to London.

You walk out of the bathroom, straight past Harry, not wanting him to read your face and figure out that something is terribly wrong. You slip into your shoes for the night and take a deep breath, no scratch that, a huge breath. Willing your facial expression to cooperate before you turn to him and smile.

"Let's go superstar!" he smiles back and walks over to you. Grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his mouth so he can plant a kiss on the back of it.

"We just might have to cancel tonight if you look this good" his free hand wraps around you tightly glueing you to his body. You know he doesn't mean it but you pretend to consider it nonetheless.

"Mh what about all your adoring fans? Won't they be so utterly crushed?" you tease against his lips. He smiles wickedly before slowly nodding.

"I do have quite the engagement this evening... how about I make it up to you after?" he presses soft kisses to the sides of your face. Framing it.

"That's a pretty good offer, I just might have to tak-"

"HARRY STYLES GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR HOTEL ROOM!!" Jeff's voice is full of annoyance as it cuts you off. Rude.

You laugh before getting pulled out of the room by your husband. The small plastic stick forgotten on the washroom counter for now.

You get a harsh reminder tho when you're back at the hotel after yet another amazing concert. You're laying on the bed completely stretched out and now only dressed in your underwear. Harry's currently using the washroom to try and get some of the remaining glitter off his face when he finds the secret you've kept all evening.

"Y/N, what's this?" his voice is so shaky that you barely even understood what he asked you. However, when you look up your brain catches up. He's in his boxers, left hand in his hair and right hand holding the test like it's made of glass as he looks at it as if it's going to explode. Fuck.

"No chance that you suddenly lost the ability to read?" you try and lighten the suddenly very heavy mood in the room. It fails.

"You're pregnant. How, I mean no I know how. Fuck, you're pregnant" he looks up at you panicked.

"We don't have to keep it" is the first thing out of your mouth. Probably as a panic response to his reaction. Not wanting this to turn into another fight.

"What?! Why wouldn't we, you don't want, I um" he takes a second. He's just breathing heavily while looking at you desperately. "You don't want to keep it?" he breathes out.

"You do?" is all you answer. You stand slowly, finding the clothes you just took off to put them back on. Whatever mood you were in is gone you're now filled with anxiety and a deep fear.

"You leave tomorrow... We won't see each other for what 3 months? In Mexico?" he hasn't moved an inch. Feet seemingly glued to the floor and limbs were frozen.

Pregnancy. One of the worst and best times of your life. Your gorgeous baby girl came out of all the pain you suffered. She gave a new meaning to the way you live, made you forget about all the physical pain you endured and...

"Why do you say it in that way? Like you still dread what the pregnancy brought" Trinity's voice almost startles you. You'd been so lost in your thoughts that you'd almost forgotten where you were.

"I don't! I love Anya" his voice is stern.

"What about your wife? What happened during the pregnancy?" she's digging. Wants to find the right buttons to push.

Harry stammers, but no answer seems to satisfy him. His hands are squeezed under his things, his right leg bouncing and his eyes avoiding either of you.

"We didn't plan her, I was right in the middle of my tour. We, um, we weren't doing very good and she was about to go home" he looks at you suddenly surprising you when he meets your eyes. You can't read him, can't understand what he's feeling. You haven't been able to read him in months.

"She- You, Y/N, she got really sick in February the seven-month mark. I was in Australia and I couldn't be there. It really strained us, we fought all the time over the phone and in person. I guess that's really when we went downhill" his jaw tenses when he looks away from you. Looks like he's not happy to have to have shared this with the room.

"Okay, thank you, Harry. I think now's a great time to take a breather. I'll meet both of you individually when we come back. So, see you both here in 20 minutes?" Trinity smiles at both of you and keeps smiling until you both walk out.

Harry doesn't come back. You wait 45 minutes in Trinity's office looking like an idiot. She dismisses you with a look of pity on her face before scheduling another appointment 5 days later, lots of work to do you assume. You rush out of the building humiliation creeping into every inch of your body. How could he do this on the first day? It was going fairly well, well you think so anyway... did he give up on your relationship right then and there?

As you make your way to your car you see him. Harry is pacing back and forth in front of his car as he seemingly argues on the phone. His free hand waves erratically in front of him, gesturing like mad for someone who can't even see him. So this is what he's been doing? Arguing over the phone while you sat in a therapist's office waiting to try and work on your ever-crumbling marriage. You scoff before turning away from him and to your car. But nothing seems to be on your side today as your husband hears you and immediately calls out to you.

"Y/N! Why are you leaving?" you hear him walk towards you, the clacking of his shoes getting closer to you but you ignore him and walk away faster.

You're completely focused on your black Subaru, the "You're so Golden" sticker catching your eye and making you more pissed off. Something that was put there because you loved the song, because of how beautiful your husband's voice is in the song but now all you want to do is rip it right off. So, that's what you do.

Your nails claw at the edges of it desperately. You don't want any reminders of Harry on your car, you don't want to think of him while putting the groceries away, while walking around the car after putting Anya in her car seat and you don't want to see it in your rearview mirror anymore. The top corner lifts as you're pulling at it giving you the perfect leverage to rip it right off. You throw it to the ground right before turning around to stare daggers into Harry's eyes.

"45 minutes, Harry. I sat there 45 minutes with our therapist looking at me like a beaten dog!" you hiss at him. He is now only about 2 or 3 feet away from you. His eyes are wide, in shock you guess, as he looks at the sticker. "What could you have possibly been doing for more than an hour that made you forget what we were here for?" you're sure you sound desperate right now. Your head is all over the place and your heart feels like it might explode out of your chest.

"An hour? I, no, that couldn't have been more than-"

"You can go back up and ask her if you want because I really really don't want to be around you right now" and now you're crying. Fuck. Why are you crying now? You need to leave.

While rummaging in your bag for your keys Harry grabs your arm. Well maybe not grabs, he just places his hand on you, resting it there delicately. If you weren't so aware of every single inch of your body right now you wouldn't have noticed. No matter how delicate the touch is supposed to be you flinch out of it aggressively.

"I'm, I'm so sorry Y/N. That was my mother, she, fuck" he sighs and runs a hand in his hair gripping it tightly. "She wants us to go up... she's rented a lake house or something I guess" his voice is so soft, shy even.

"Us? You mean you and Anya?" god you hope so.

"I'm so sorry" is all he answers.

Anne Twist is a very difficult woman to say no to. Actually, it's impossible to say no to her. In the many years you've known her, she's always been able to find a way to make you say yes. Always in a good way. She loves you, she has told you that countless times, and you love her but now that you're... the way you are with her son you don't know where you stand. Yet, she has still found a way to get you to agree to something you would have much rather not have gone to. You're in a small townhouse almost 4 hours away from your home in London with your mother-in-law, your daughter and your soon-to-be ex-husband. What has your life come to?

Anya is sitting in her high chair passionately eating banana slices as you watch her. She's already gobbled up the strawberries and pita bread slices she also had for her snack. She's such a good eater always so ready to try new things and taste whatever the adults around her eat. Especially the sweet treats her dad sneaks her.

"Do you want to go take a dip after huh? We should enjoy the water my love" you coo at her as she takes her final bite of food. She smiles at you like she understood what you asked and you chuckle wiping her chubby cheeks and hands. She'll be able to float around in the water for a little bit with you before you put her down for a nap. The steps of your morning are perfectly planned so that you can have your solo Zoom session with Trinity.

There is a small river behind the house you're staying in. The water goes up to just above your breast and it's the perfect warmth at this time of day. You've made your way down to it and are now setting up Anya's towel for when she'll be too tired to entertain you and ready for her mid-day snooze. She's currently lying right by you looking up at the sky with such curiosity, probably trying to figure out what the hell clouds are.

"You're so curious my love!" you shake her gently as you smile widely. "What do you see up there?" as you look up to join her sky-gazing you spot Harry making his way to the river as well. He's only got very short grey swimming trunks on meaning his entire chest, thighs, calves, and arms are out for the whole world to see. Maybe that's an exaggerated statement as you're the only one looking right now. You want to scold yourself for staring, you really really do but he's just so... so captivating and very enjoyable to look at no matter how much you resent him at the moment.

"Mind if I join you ladies?" his voice is more cheerful than when you heard it last. Must be because he's actually speaking to and looking at Anya.

However, when you don't answer his question he looks up at you. Expression now closed off again, how it's always been for the past few months. You smile politely and nod before turning your back to both of them so you can take your robe off. Your swimsuit isn't anything special; simple black one-piece that's high on the hips and low on your back. You think it looks pretty good on you but now you feel very aware of the amount of skin you're showing. You decide to just get in the water hoping its dark colour hides you. Hides away the skin your husband might be looking at.

"Looks like mummy is in a hurry, we should join her. What do you think sweetheart?" Harry picks your baby up and makes his way into the water. He holds her tightly to his chest as he climbs in, just in case he slips on the stones he uses as stairs. Once your daughter's chubby limbs meet the water her mouth forms into an adorable "O" shape. It's the second time Anya's been in the water now so she must still be unsure about this feeling. Harry turns her so that her front faces you and her back is against him. She smiles when she spots you reaching her arms out quickly which splashes some water around. She looks at you with a shocked expression and does it again with a giggle now.

"You little troublemaker! Trying to splash me!" you tease her sending some water her way. She answers with a sweet giggle and shakes her arms around as fast as she possibly can.

"Mh, my jokester gene is strong in her" Harry's voice is laced with pride. You playfully roll your eyes at him and hum affirmatively.

"And her love for singing too" you add remembering so many moments where she hums to any song playing. Her favourite thing to do is to harmonise with her father. His deep voice always gets her attention, always gets her to mumble and hum along with her own lyrics.

"Oh yes, she's the next big thing this one" he affirms kissing the top of her small head affectionately.

It's in moments like these that you tend to forget how bad it is between you. How many horrible things you've shouted at each other not caring how deep your words could cut. The accusations, the insults, the taunts and even the lies still weigh heavy on both of you. You like these softer moments, where you're reminded of how much love you both had for each other. Have? Had? You don't know anything about your feelings anymore, they are much too complicated to understand...

All three of you stay in the river for about an hour more before Anya starts yawning and fussing. When you exit the water you're quick to slip your robe back on still overly aware. Harry wraps the fluffy towel you had gotten ready around your baby. Her head rests in the crook of his neck, her eyelids already heavy as she blinks slowly. You all walk back to the house together silently. Might it be to keep the sleepy baby calm or to keep the peaceful aura around you and your husband, you don't know.

Harry insists that he will put the sleepy girl to bed and that you should take a shower first. After all, you have the first private sessions with your therapist. The mention of her does make the air in the townhouse tense again but Anne appears immediately to kiss Anya before she naps. You use that moment to sneak into your shared room with Harry. Luckily, it has two single beds so you don't have to share with him.

Signing deeply you rid yourself of the now damp robe you had on. Another blessing in disguise, this room has an en suite bathroom so you'll be able to jump right into the shower. Before that you do want to set up your laptop for the video call, you want to be as ready as you possibly can be. You grab your device from your backpack and make your way to the small desk in the corner of the room. There's a bunch of papers scattered around it, one glance at them and you immediately know what they are.

Lyrics. Drafts of songs and melodies written by your rockstar husband. You don't mean to read any of the words you really don't but as soon as you spot your name at the top of one of the pages you're doomed. You put your laptop down on Harry's bed which is right next to the desk and reach for that exact paper.

The words you read are full of longing, pain, sadness and fear. They mourn love, they are mourning your love. You pick up another sheet of paper, this one has no title but there are so many lines written. This one is reeks of self-hatred, of shame and guilt... it shakes the weak barriers you've built around your heart. All of the lyrics you read on different papers revolve around the same emotions. These are all about your relationship. About the death of it. About his desire to turn around. You don't realise you're crying until a tear falls onto the paper you hold. The ink bleeds into itself where it's been wet blurring the words slightly. You quickly wipe your face and put the papers down. You shouldn't be looking at these, you're invading his privacy.

"Thought you were showering" Harry's voice startles you out of the chair. You meet the floor with a loud thud. Your tear-filled eyes meet his sharp ones. Scrambling up to your feet you grab your laptop ready to explain, ready to apologise over and over again.

"At least tell me what you think" he sighs walking into the bedroom and shutting the door behind himself. This shocks you. What does he mean? He, he's not mad? Isn't disappointed that you invaded his creative space? Your mouth opens and closes a few times unsure what you should answer.

"I'm sorry" is all you're able to get out. Your brain is blank in absolute fear but tears keep falling from your eyes.

"I should be apologising... you, you weren't supposed to see those" he walks in your direction slowly, testing the waters of how close you'll let him get. He's closer than arm's reach when you flinch backwards slightly and he stops immediately.

"I was going to ask you for your permission before making any of those full songs but you know music is how I cope" he whispers now that he's so close to you. Silence takes over the room again, stretching out for too long. Your eyes somehow keep producing tears as you try and speak. Hopelessly searching for words to say.

"Do you really miss us? You miss me?" is what you come up with, your voice is so shaky that you're on the verge of sobbing uncontrollably.

This shocks Harry in place, seemingly not prepared for that kind of questioning from you. His mouth gapes and his eyes grow wide. This time you do see his hands start shaking. You're not entirely sure what this emotion is.

"Of course I do. Did you not think so?" while still whispering he reaches out to hold you but stops himself hands falling at his sides.

"Yo- Harry, you asked for the divorce. How was I supposed to know you miss me?" your voice breaks. You don't understand, why is this happening now, why is he saying these things?

"We should just get a divorce" Harry snaps at you as he fights back tears. Your expression immediately closes up, your body reacting before your thoughts and words do. Protecting you from what he just said, building walls around you and your heart as quickly as possible.

"Fine" you spit out as you turn away from him and walk straight out of your bedroom. If that's what he wants then so be it. You won't beg for anything now that he's made his decision.

"I know, okay? I know that I asked for it and that it's the reason why you don't talk to me anymore. Well, you do but not really" he sighs and sits down on his bed, damn swim trunks wetting the bed "We talk about Anya and when we're not we are yelling at each other... so when was I supposed to tell you that I missed you? That I regretted asking for the divorce..." he looks at you with a guilty expression, all his emotions are coming up at once.

"Why did you ask for it?" you ask him sitting back on the desk chair with your laptop still in your hands.

"I got in my head. You were saying we should take some time for ourselves maybe live apart... with everything that kept being said about us, I got so scared" he takes your laptop out of your grip and puts it down next to him.

"I thought you were going to fight me on it..." he adds as he grabs your hands tenderly. Like he's afraid you'll break.

You shake your head in disbelief not sure what to say. Your thoughts are all over the place, what should you make of this?

"It broke my heart" When did his face get so close to yours? You should really move away. You can't fall back into him, you can't let yourself do that. So you pull away from him roughly, your hands tugging out of his hold, face moving to the side, a sob making its way out of you as your back meets the chair-back.

When you meet Harry's eyes you can see the pain, the hurt, in them. They are brimming with tears that are so close to spilling out.

"Are we... are we too broken?" his voice has dropped to a whisper. He sounds so sad and scared.

"I'm worried" You take in a few breaths before you speak again, "What if we just end up hurting each other again? What if we can't go back?" you choke out the last few words. Tears spill endlessly out of your eyes and sobs rack your entire body.

It feels like you're running out of air and the little bits you get in are painful. Your eyes burn as you cry and your hands are shaking like crazy.

Harry might be answering or trying to communicate but nothing is making its way past your meltdown. What does make it through is the feeling of his arms around you. Him pulling you against his chest tightly, immediately rubbing your back as soothingly as he can. Your hands are grabbing his still bare skin desperately, wanting to anchor yourself in any way you can. Your face rests on his peck, right above his heart, the frantic beating bouncing around your head.

"Breathe, you have to breathe love" he speaks delicately in your ear, breaking through the barrier your body has put up.

"I'm- I'm, I can't... Harry I can't" your clawing at him almost trying to get under his skin, someplace you might be able to understand everything that's going through his mind.

He wiggles around a little before laying you both down as he keeps reassuring and encouraging you. He drags you on top of him your face now pressed up against the juncture of his neck. Your left-hand makes its way into his hair, pulling at it as softly as you can manage. Harry's hands run up and down your back, your arms, and your neck and he even pets your hair delicately. He's always known how to best calm you down... how to bring you back down to earth and out of the panic attacks you sometimes get when you're overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry" he repeats that over and over with a pained desperation. Harry's scared shitless too. He doesn't know how things will go with your relationship. He can't guarantee that you won't end up actually wanting a divorce one day... But he can love you. He has and will keep loving you. He hopes it'll be enough to save your marriage. He'll work incredibly hard every single day to prove his love for you... if you let him back in he won't ever let you go. He'll leave it all up to you. Your little family is all he needs, he'll spend the rest of his life proving that to you if that's what it takes.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry edward styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles angst #harry styles fic

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brookghaib-blog · 6 months ago

Text

Kaiju No. 8: The Secret of Hoshina

pairing: hoshina soshiro x reader

summary : in which hoshina soshiro has to reveal his secret wife to the Third Division

pt.2

—

The Third Division's base buzzed with its usual energy. Soldiers trained in the yard, administrative personnel hustled through corridors, and the hum of machinery filled the air. Amidst this routine, Vice-Captain Hoshina Soshiro maintained his calm, collected demeanor, effortlessly balancing paperwork and tactical planning. However, a secret part of his life was about to unfold in the most unexpected way.

The day began like any other until an urgent message interrupted the flow. "Vice-Captain Hoshina," a young soldier called, saluting briskly. "There's a visitor at the gate requesting to see you. She says it's a personal matter."

Hoshina raised an eyebrow. "A visitor? Did she give a name?”

"Yes, sir. She said her name is y/n."

A flash of surprise crossed Hoshina's usually stoic face. He quickly masked it, but not before Captain Narumi and Kafka Hibino, who happened to be in the room, noticed.

"I'll handle this personally," Hoshina said, standing up. "Kafka, Narumi, continue with the briefing. I'll be back shortly."

As Hoshina made his way to the gate, his mind raced. y/n hadn't contacted him in years, respecting their agreement to keep her identity and their relationship a secret for her safety. Why now?

Reaching the gate, Hoshina saw a woman with long, beautiful hair and a determined expression. Her eyes softened when she saw him.

"Soshiro," y/n said, her voice a mix of relief and urgency.

"y/n," Hoshina responded, his voice gentler than usual. "What brings you here?"

She glanced around nervously. "We need to talk, somewhere private."

Hoshina led her to a secluded office, closing the door behind them. "What's wrong?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

"I didn't want to come here and risk exposing you, but there's something you need to know," y/n began. "A new type of kaiju has appeared. It's different, intelligent, and it knows about us."

Hoshina's expression hardened. "How do you know this?"

"I encountered it," she admitted. "It spoke to me, Soshiro. It knew my name, our connection, everything."

Hoshina felt a cold shiver down his spine. "This changes everything. We need to inform the others, but discreetly."

As they exited the office, Hoshina knew it was time to reveal a part of his life he had kept hidden for so long. He led y/n to the main briefing room where Kafka, Narumi, and the rest of the key officers were gathered.

"Everyone," Hoshina began, his voice steady. "This is y/n. She is... my wife. And she brings urgent news."

The room fell silent, shock evident on every face. Kafka blinked rapidly, Narumi's jaw dropped, and Kikoru Shinomiya's eyes widened in surprise.

"Wife?" Kafka echoed. "Hoshina, you have a wife?"

Hoshina nodded. "Yes, and her presence here is tied to a new threat. y/n, please explain what you told me."

y/n stepped forward, recounting her encounter with the intelligent kaiju. The gravity of the situation was clear to everyone.

Narumi was the first to recover. "If this kaiju knows about y/n, it could target her to get to you. We need to ensure her safety and prepare for this new threat."

Hoshina felt a surge of gratitude for his comrades' swift acceptance and focus. "Thank you. We will integrate y/n's knowledge into our strategies and ensure she is protected at all costs."

As the team sprang into action, Hoshina exchanged a glance with y/n. For the first time in years, they were together, facing a threat side by side. The revelation of their relationship brought new strength to the Third Division, a reminder of what they were fighting for—each other, their loved ones, and the future of humanity.

#kaiju no. 8 #fanfic #soshiro hoshina #hoshina x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #soshino x reader #kaiju art #kn8 x reader #kaiju #kaijun8xreader #fics #kaiju number 8 #kaiju n 8 x reader

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jeonginsleftcheek · 6 months ago

Text

Dating Bang Chan

pairing: bang chan x afab!reader

genre: fluff, suggestive

warning/s: mdni, mentions of insecurities

a/n: i had a stressful week and this was just sitting in my drafts. this is just a collection of random thoughts i had bcs i'm soft for chan♡

(i'll probably do this for every member eventually)

Chan is such a sweetheart. Expect to be hugged and pulled into his lap all the freaking time. He needs to have his hands on you somehow no matter where you are or what you're doing. Chan will give you a back hug and then pull you into him, burying his face in your hair. He loves skinship like that especially with people who bring him comfort like you do.

Chan is the type of boyfriend who will always ask if you're hungry, thirsty or cold and if you need anything at all he will stop what he was doing and get it for you. He always wants you to feel comfortable.

He is also very playful and will tease you all the time. I also feel like he is that type of boyfriend that will swoop you up and put you over his shoulders all the damn time especially while you're doing something just to get a rise out of you. He will laugh cutely as you trash around and yell at him to 'put you down or else' but you both know you're laughing too.

You become so close to his mother and sister, and you and Hannah team up to tease him together. Berry also adores you and always runs to you whenever you visit. Chan will playfully pout and sulk, saying that 'his family replaced him' but he is actually so thrilled that you get along.

He daydreams a lot about your future together, imagines you two getting married and starting a family and it makes him all giddy and giggly. Some things he's too shy to say to you directly so he puts them in songs that he writes for you.

Chan will watch every movie and listen to every song you recommend him. He wants to know what you like and why you like it so send him cute songs and tell him that they made you think of him.

Late night adventures. Driving around aimlessly as you listen to music, getting something to eat from a convenience store or a gas station. He pulls up somewhere secluded where you have the perfect view of the city. You eat, talk and look at the stars together. Kisses are shared, hands are roaming and pretty soon you end up in the backseat of the car.

Chan will take you out to dinner, bring you flowers, take you out to the arcade, to an ice cream date, to the beach, everywhere and anywhere, he just wants you to have fun together. But he will also enjoy a quiet night at home, while he works on his laptop and you're cuddled up to him reading a book.

He always puts you first, your needs above his so you have to scold him when he tells you he forgot to eat dinner. You bring him food to the studio and he's happy to see you but sad that he made you upset. You tell him you'll forgive him if he eats everything you brought him and he happily will.

Arguments with Chan would probably mostly happen when he's sleep deprived because he gets snappy then. His voice raises a little (not on purpose) but as soon as he sees tears forming in your eyes he will start apologizing. You tell him you need a few moments and obviously he does too, so he leaves to another room to cool off a little. When he comes back out, you two sit down and talk it out. You never want to go to bed angry or without resolving a fight.

No matter if you live together or you're sleeping over at each other's places you can forget about personal space. When you go to bed at night, Chan will cling onto you, he will pull you into him and hold you tight. Good luck on trying to move until the morning. Showers together because why wouldn't you wanna save water?

Absolute gentleman. Will open doors for you, move your chair, help you put your jacket on, you'll never have to carry anything heavy. He knows you can do it but he just wants to treat you like the queen you are and you better indulge him or he will sulk.

Sometimes, Chan feels insecure and nothing can make him feel better than your arms around him, his head on your chest as you gently tell him about everything you love and admire about him. He's used to always being alert and taking care of others so he'd love for you to take care of him sometimes like that, baby him a little, it lights his heart up.

Little moments when he's concentrated on something or lost in his own little world always make you gush at him and your camera is full of his cute moments, when he realizes you're filming him, he gets shy and you capture his sweet smile and cute giggles.

This man will also never give you room to doubt yourself. He will remind you every single day how much he loves you and respects you. How beautiful you are to him, every single part of you, every scar, stretchmark, anything you're insecure about he'll give extra kisses and caresses to that part of you just so you start loving yourself more.

Back hugs. Back hugs. BACK HUGS. FOREHEAD KISSES. HAND HOLDING. THIGH SQUEEZING.

Make him sleep please! He needs to rest and often pulls all-nighters but if you offer him cuddles he can't say no, he has to join you in bed.

You wear matching bracelets!🥺 And they're ones that you make by yourselves with cute colorful beads and maybe your initials and it's just so adorable!

Random cuteness agression moments where Chan can't contain all the love he has for you so he attacks you with kisses all over your face. You squeal and you both end up giggling and play-fighting. Will also tickle you every chance he gets. You're never safe from Chan the tickle monster. (He just loves touching you and loves seeing you laugh, deal with it.)

Okay but your mom will love him so much. He's the type of boyfriend that will treat your mom like his own. Anything she needs help with, he will help no questions asked. She's already calling him her son-in-law.

You need help fixing something around the house? Chan is your man. Just imagine those arms of his as he's working on something, wearing just a tanktop. (😩)

You can talk to him about anything really, he loves to listen to you ramble about your friends or work, sometimes he starts teasing you in the middle of your rambling, repeating what you're saying or reacting dramatically. You smack his thigh or arm and whine that he's not taking it seriously. He just laughs at you and promises to listen seriously with a goofy face.

But when it comes to actual serious issues, you can really rely on Chan. He will hold your hand and caress you as you tell him your worries. He'll listen without interrupting, letting you vent to him. When you're done he will do everything he can to comfort you, motivate you, make you feel better, help you get through whatever you're struggling with.

Talks about you all the time, he's so proud to be yours and he's just infatuated with you. Giggles to himself when he thinks about you. He just adores you so much.

#skz x reader #skz fluff #skz soft hours #skz soft thoughts #bang chan x reader #bang chan fluff #skz bang chan #skz headcanons #bang chan headcanons #skz scenarios #bangchan scenarios

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dyns33 · 2 months ago

Text

The Best Friend

We will have to wait for 2 years to see Homelander again so here's a little new series about him

After realizing that it wasn't really a good idea to raise a child in a laboratory by subjecting him to several tests that were more like torture than anything else, Doctor Vogelbaum decided to start the 'friend' project.

Arranging financially with orphanages, he brought in children whose absence no one would notice, in order to try to develop young John's social skills.

Of course, it wasn't really a success. Most of the children never made it out of the room alive, the others were saved at the last moment but in a catastrophic state, and the lucky ones managed to flee crying, only because John found them too annoying to chase after them.

Then, there was subject 8.

The youngest had no names, and since they were of no importance to anyone, including the doctors, they hadn't bothered to name them. So they introduced Subject 8 to John without much hope.

The little girl was placed on a chair in front of him. With big curious eyes, she watched him while chewing on a finger, but unlike most of her predecessors, she didn't seem afraid.

"Where's mommy ?" she asked timidly to the boy in front of her.

"I don't know. I don't have a mommy."

"Oh. They say mommy's dead, but I want mommy."

"… Your mom's dead ?"

Most of the children hadn't tried to talk to John, too frightened by the situation, then by his behavior. The others had made too much noise, had been rude, or had talked about subjects that didn't interest him.

Family was a complicated subject for the future Homelander. Abandonment too, the feeling of loneliness.

For the first time since the beginning of the 'friend' project, he looked at another human being with what seemed like empathy. Slowly, with a caution that no one suspected, he took the little girl in his arms.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you now."

"Okay."

He called her Y/N. He had heard that name in one of the movies they showed to teach him how to become a superhero and he had found it pretty. According to him, it suited subject 8 perfectly, his best friend forever.

Like the children they were, they promised each other to be faithful and to stay together no matter what. Even if they weren't always together.

John didn't like having his Y/N taken from him. The first time a nurse had come to get the little girl to take her back to her cell, he had had a huge tamtrun, killing the poor woman.

Too young or having immediately had blind trust in the one who had said he would take care of her, Y/N had not been afraid, clinging to him while crying because she did not want to leave him.

Doctor Vogelbaum had spent several hours discussing with the boy so that he would agree to let her go, on the condition that he was assured that he would see her again the next day, and the following days after.

This incident scared the team, who wondered if they should not stop this project immediately, or if it was too late. But their leader was certain that it was a good thing, a new way of holding John.

If he behaved well, he would be able to see Y/N. If not, he would be punished.

This lasted for several years, until John's adolescence, the beginning of more intense exercises, and the choice of his future.

They should have known that this would happen. Raising a supe in a cage was one thing, but a little girl without powers, that couldn't last forever.

Doctor Hobbes refused to tell John the news. He had a hard time getting the other doctors to accept it.

"She was fine last night !"

"What can we do ?! Hobbes found her dead this morning, he tried to revive her, but nothing worked !"

"And the V?"

"I panicked…" sighed Doctor Hobbes. "I followed the protocol without thinking."

The protocol was simple. No proof, no problem, hence the importance of having a very powerful oven.

That day, Doctor Vogelbaum thought he was going to be killed by his creature for the first time in his life. He had never seen him in such a rage.

It was clear that John really loved Y/N. In a way, it was a success, proof that this thing was capable of feelings after all, even if he remained just as capable of the worst.

It took a lot of time and patience to heal this wound. No one was stupid enough to try to offer him a new friend. Nothing could have replaced Subject 8.

Homelander tried not to think about all this too much. In his dreams, the moments with Y/N were the only happy ones, until they turned into a nightmare and he saw her dead in his arms.

The first person he had sworn to protect and hadn't saved. What a superhero.

After the revelation about Becca Butcher and his son, he asked Vogelbaum if he didn't have anything else to tell him. Another secret. But no, nothing. If the old man could, he would have kept Y/N alive as long as possible, just to have a chance to control him.

What Homelander had forgotten was that if people lied to him, they also lied to each other.

It took another four years, four years of pain, disappointment, loneliness, for him to have fun searching Barbara's office after visiting the whole new team of doctors.

Among all the files, projects, photos, he recognized Doctor Hobbes. He had retired a little before Vogelbaum, and in the photo, he could be seen next to a young girl, holding her by the shoulder as if she were his daughter.

Except she wasn't his daughter. She wasn't his at all.

"John ?" was the first thing Y/N said, smiling when she opened the door to find Homelander.

She didn't look surprised. Nor scared. She invited him in with a certain cheerfulness that no one displayed in Homelander's presence, especially knowing what he was truly capable of.

And Y/N knew it well, she had grown up with him.

"I'm so glad to see you ! Doctor Hobbes wouldn't let me contact you, he said it wouldn't be good for your career. He's dead, but I thought maybe he was right. I didn't want to bother you, you must be so busy. I didn't think you'd want to see me again."

"… They told me you were dead."

"Yes, I know." she sighed sadly, though she kept her smile. "Doctor Hobbes was selfish. I reminded him of his daughter, whom he lost in a car accident. He saw the opportunity to take me away, saying it would be better for me to be free. Except he kept me here, a new cage. At least he was kind enough to make me fake papers and adopt me before he died…"

"You wanted to leave."

"No ! No, I wanted to stay with you… He said you were going to become important, do important things, and that I would be a burden. It's true after all, like you say, I'm one of the mud people…"

"You're not a mud person !"

He had yelled like he had yelled at everyone for a long time now, but John immediately felt bad. He had never yelled at Y/N, never. He had promised not to hurt her.

It was surprising to see that she hadn't jumped, and that she still wasn't afraid. On the contrary, she only looked sorry for him, coming to sit next to him, putting a hand on his.

"I'm sorry, John. I should have tried to contact you. You would have told me if you didn't want me."

"I will always want you." he sobbed with shame. "You were everything to me ! My Y/N. The only good thing in this damn lab, the only one who cared about me, who comforted me when I came back from the bad room. I told myself… I told myself that I shouldn't get attached to humans after you. Because they're so fragile, so easy to lose."

"I'm here. I'm here as long as you want me."

She was sincere, her heart proved it. Her eyes were looking at him exactly as they had before she disappeared from his life.

With anyone else, John would have doubted. After everything he'd been through, the voices in his head could have told him to test the limits, to break her neck, to make fun of her.

But all he heard was 'Y/N is here ! She's back, she's alive ! Our Y/N ! Do better this time, protect her, don't lose her, tiger !'

When he took her in his arms and she tenderly returned his embrace, he felt what he was missing with Madelyn, with Stormfront, with Becca, with all the people around him.

He finally felt complete. Happy.

And for once, Homelander was going to do everything not to ruin everything.

#the boys #the homelander #homelander #homelander x reader #homelander fanfiction #homelander imagine

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citrustan · 1 year ago

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slipping through my fingers [1] (myg)

title: will i ever see you again?

pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst!, fluff, smut summary: yoongi usually has an explanation for everything. why can't he talk you through this? warnings: [it is important that you read the prologue before this]

It takes you a good five minutes to gather yourself. Yoongi doesn't dare to disturb you.

Still leaned against the wall, you take a few steady breaths.

You don't know why but you don't cry.

The news of him dating another person is enough for you to have an intense breakdown, let alone marrying someone.

This will forever serve as a reminder that you weren't enough for Yoongi.

You kind of just want to go straight to bed. Pretend this never happened. Just deal with it later.

After your break-up, a big part of you always thought you'd end up getting back together. And that no matter how long it takes, Yoongi would be your endgame. He was it for you.

Over the past year, your contact with Yoongi had reduced. He was always busy when you called. Always working.

But now that you think about it, it was you who assumed that he was working. He never claimed he was.

For all you know, he could've been dating.

Pfft. 'Could have.'

He most definitely was.

And he didn't tell you. Not even your friends told you about it.

You don't know what's worse.

You're pushing yourself away from going into a dark place. Where you begin to wonder.

The only question that refuses to budge is: What does she have that you don't?

In all honesty, you wish he never told you. You don't want to know what type of a person his future wife is. You do not want to know if they'd have children together. You do not care if they buy a house together, or if they already have one. You don't want to know.

And you don't want to think about what it'd do to Nao.

When you begin to truly register the possible consequences of Yoongi's marriage, you feel anger. It spreads through your veins in a millisecond.

Had Nao already met this woman? You doubt that because she never told you about it.

Would it be confusing for her to understand what's going on?

Is that woman going to be parenting your child too? You violently shook your head. You won't allow that.

You are her only mother.

The pressure in your chest only deepens the more you think about this.

Yoongi has stolen your peace.

How are you to move on from this? And you hadn't even confronted half of the thoughts you're having. The anger never subsides.

He's going to send you right back to therapy.

"_____?" Yoongi comes looking for you.

You cannot afford to lose your composure in front of him. You don't want to give him more reasons to be grateful for your break-up.

You had to step away for just a bit longer, "I'll be right back."

You were about to turn and hide in your room when you feel Yoongi yanking your arm back.

With a surprised yelp, you pull it back just as forceful.

"Talk to me." Yoongi pleaded with his eyes.

No.

"I...-" You trail off. The words were caught in your throat. I don't want to see you again, ever.

This was such a disaster.

How does one move on from this?

"_____. I'm sorry." He tried again.

Yoongi had it all planned. He was going to sit you down and ease it in on you.

Instead, he chickened out and ended up dropping a bomb on you out of nowhere.

He's usually the more composed one out of the two of you, and he screwed it up.

You sigh, "I don't know why you're apologizing."

After a moment, you swiftly walk away from Yoongi and peek into the living room.

Nao's attention is still on the movie.

"Has she met Nao?"

Yoongi shook his head profusely, "I wanted your permission first."

At this you're confused.

Unable to separate your emotions, you sarcastically laugh. "My permission to let your daughter meet her father's future wife?"

It's like a bell ringing in your mind. Your laugh transitions into a bit of a manic one, "What if I told you no? What happens then?"

Yoongi kept his calm, "Then she won't meet her now." You scoff.

Immediately, you give in, having no interest in continuing this conversation. "Then do whatever you want. She's your daughter too. I can't make decisions for you."

You start to walk away from him when he stops you, "_____. Let's just... talk."

“I don’t want to.” You sternly announce.

This would be a lot easier to handle this if he just got mad at you. It’d be easy to hate him if he were being unreasonable. In all honesty, even then you’d probably never be able to truly hate him.

“_____, I’m sorry,” Yoongi softly brings your attention to him. His eyes were directed towards your feet.

It doesn’t phase you. His blanket apology for whatever happened doesn’t make up for anything.

You want to ask him what he was apologising for. But you don’t really want to go there. Not in front of Nao.

You cannot subject her to this instability anymore than you already have.

“Ask your daughter if she wants to meet your wife,” you spat, “Not me.”

Yoongi knew you were angry. He also knew exactly why. Still, he can’t bring himself to talk you through it. It’s too soon. He needs to let it simmer.

As much as you don’t want him to think (know) that you’re just bitter for very obvious reasons, that ship has already sailed.

You don’t think you can do a whole lot to salvage it. Might as well ride it out for now.

With the risk of sounding pathetic, you turn your body towards him. “How come you’re marrying someone else?”

Yoongi’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he sighs deeply.

“_____...” He coos, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”

There's a pause, a moment where the air seems heavy.

The noises from the TV sound muffled. Time slows down for you to hold yourself together.

“I don’t want you to ever doubt yourself, _____.”

That’s not under his control. Hell, you yourself can’t help it.

“I don’t,” you lie.

“I want you to know that it wasn’t an easy decision. I just… She broke me. I don’t know how but I changed.”

…

That’s what you get for respecting his boundaries.

This is a slap in your face. He better not be saying what you think he is.

“She convinced you?” You question him pointedly.

So, you could’ve ‘broken’ him too? So much for not being an overzealous girlfriend slash baby mother.

“No! I just changed my mind about-“

You wouldn’t let him finish, “No.”

“No?” Yoongi was starting to get a little agitated.

“I… don’t want to know.”

“Okay. That’s okay. Let’s talk tomorrow,” Yoongi agreed.

The two of you take a little break from the almost heated conversation you just had.

“I’ll finish up in the kitchen. Are Mimi’s bags packed?”

“Yeah, just need to get her toothbrush after she’s done.”

Your ex-boyfriend’s nickname for your daughter was Mimi, and you preferred Nao. Nao prefers Nao too but she’d never break her daddy’s heart like that.

He gives your arm a subtle squeeze as he moves past you to get back to the kitchen.

You head to Nao’s room to get her bag as she excitedly follows you in.

Turning to her, you tilt your head towards her, “Did you turn the TV off?”

“Yes! And I unplugged the wire.”

“Good girl.” You give her a genuine smile.

You don’t know what your future is going to look like with Yoongi’s wife in the picture. What if Nao doesn’t like her? What if she doesn’t like Nao?

Your heart drops at the thought of them having a kid. What if she pushes Yoongi to leave you and Nao?

No, he’d never. You’ve got to give him more credit than that.

Wait.

Is she pregnant? Is that why he wants to marry her?

You were pregnant too.

You already know you’re going to kick Taehyung’s ass for not warning you about this new woman in Yoongi’s life.

“MOMMY.” Nao’s scream brings you back.

“I’m sorry! Mama’s here. W-” - “Daddy’s calling.”

Okay. Deep breaths.

“Go on ahead, I’ll bring you your bag.” You then instruct her to brush her teeth at her dad’s.

Nao hugs your waist, burying her head into your side. It tickles a little.

Then, she runs off to find her father.

Soon, you follow her and drop her bag by the door.

Yoongi reappears from the kitchen, drying his hands with a paper towel. He stops in front of you and waits as Nao jams her feet into her pink Crocs.

Seemingly in deep thought, you stand by them. You don’t want to end tonight on a weird note. Even though you’re hurting, you can’t let him see it. For so long, you just assumed you’d find your way back to each other even though you never actively put effort into it.

Now, it seems downright outlandish.

Your next moves are not to save face but an attempt to actually move forward.

“Yoongi!” You call out to him as if he were miles away.

A little startled, he raises a brow at you in question.

“You should introduce them.” You nod, mostly to yourself.

At this, his expression changes. It’s softer and… almost aching.

“And congrats.” You added shyly. “You deserve to be happy.”

Your vision began to blur.

NOOOOOOOOOO. Not now. Please. PLEASE.

You gulp and smile. Yoongi knows the smile. He begins to extend his arms, inching towards you, as if he were about to embrace you.

“Mommy.” Nao winks, blows you a kiss, and runs out of the apartment, breaking whatever moment the two of you just had. You scrunch your brows at the now-empty doorway.

Yoongi scoffs in amazement.

“You should go,” you urge him out of the door, not allowing him to respond to you. “Now. Bye.”

Yoongi simply allows you to push him out, still a little stunned by the two of you.

“Make sure she does her math homework!” You get the last word in as you slam the door in his face.

Had your daughter not distracted you, you don’t know what you’d have done.

₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ underwater by red velvet ₊˚.🎧 ✩｡

note: these song recommendations go great w the story!! u should give it a listen :*

thank u for all the love and attention you've given to this little project 😍

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pinkyqil · 4 months ago

Note

could you do frido + "you promised you would protect me"

You promised

Pairing: frido x reader

A/n: this is going to be a two part cause I'm not cut for one long fics maybe in the future anyway get comfy cause this fic is about to be a something, love y'all and hope you enjoyed reading this and feel free to send in suggestions on what you'll like to see 🫶🏾

Warning: toxic relationship, vulgar language, angsty, naive reader and a reminder that everything is fictional aka made up so yeah

The first few months of your relationship with frido was amazing she was always there and attentive. to your needs and being the best partner she could be for you.

You also doing the same trying to be a good and caring girlfriend to her building a solid relationship.

It was all amazing at first the being inlove effects that's how your friends called it.

Everything started out with when frido would make empty promises to you and would never fili them and would make you random excuses.

You knew that her job as a footballer had a lots of requirements like travel games,away games,late practices or anything in general but you where honestly getting tried of her white lies that were turning into an unfaithful truth so you decived yourself into believing them.

You knew it was wrong and you should let her know about her actions but you loved her too much to try and ruin what you both have going on so you let yourself believe her. Not knowing things would take a trun for the worst.

You both went from having date night every three weeks to now I don't have time or let's reschedule which never happens. It was always lies ontop of lies, unfiled prom. But you always found yourself supporting her no matter the circumstances.

Your last straw was today frido was supposed to take you out for dinner at your favorite restaurant.

You had already gotten ready and arrived at the restaurant waiting on frido who stil hasn't arrived. You decided to give her the benefit of doubt thinking that she was stuck in traffic but one hour turned into three and you've had enough and decided to leave the restaurant.

Unexpectedly it started raining as if your day couldn't get get any worse.

you felt an unknown presence behind and decided to pick up your pace but it was no use cause you definitely knew that you were being followed.

You managed to hurry up your speed and get your phone out and dial frido number excepting her to answer but it kept going on too voice mail.

Feeling scared and vulnerable you ran as fast as you could've getting into the first taxi that you saw after managing to escape that scary situation.

Finally arriving to your apartment you saw frido laying down on the couch staring at the tv doing absolutely nothing. you felt angry and heartbroken cause the woman you loved. just kept breaking your heart over and over again and you stil stayed making a fool of yourself.

"What the fuck frido is this what you've been doing while I waited for you at a restaurant for four fucking hours while you lay there?". You asked her raising your voice a bit.

"Baby what are you talking about?".

"Oh please don't start with you baby bullshit you can't seem to tell me that you forgot nine months anniversary and that you promised to take me out but you fuck up as always with your empty promises". You said feeling tears dripping down your face.

"I didn't know that it was toda-".

"Oh please that your excuse for everything the one time that I needed you you failed me but I'm always there for you but you never".

"Baby please I promise to change tell me what you want me to do and I promise to do it abd change my ways".

"No frido there's no more promise I'm done this we're fucking over so please get out". You told her pointing out at the door.

"Please baby I'll change it never going to happen again". She said

"Oh no you had plenty of opportunities to change but never did so get out". You fully yelled at her.

Sliding down the door as you wachted frido leaving the place you both shared. You felt hurt and betrayed how could she have done this to you and the moment you called her out on it she talking.

about trying to change knowing it was to late for your love.

#fridolina rolfö #fridolina rolfo x reader #fridolina rolfo imagine #fridolina rolfö x reader #woso #woso community #woso x reader #woso fic #woso angst #woso one shot #woso imagines #woso soccer #woso fanfics #woso imagine #pinkyqilfic

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jmdbjk · 2 months ago

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Well...

I've always harped on their "chemistry" and its no exaggeration. They fit together so naturally. They are so very in tune with each other, when you are with that person and you feel like everything is right and it doesn't matter what you are doing, where you are going or if you are doing anything or nothing at all.

This episode was completely different than any of the previous episodes.

By the end of November they both knew what was going to happen and embracing the idea that they were about to "go in" and they were doing this together. They flat out said they were making memories to take with them while they served their military obligation.

Jimin and Jungkook clearly see themselves as just ordinary people living extraordinary lives, and they want to and expect to experience ordinary things.

The convenience store visit.

They ran like kids sliding on the ice, stomped in the snow, threw snowballs at each other, even though occasionally, Jimin's pragmatism burst their cozy little bubble:

Jungkook: "When it snows during our military service I think I'll recall this moment."

Jimin: "Right now, we're watching the snow from a hotel window but soon we'll have to sweep it up."

Ever the romantic, that Jimin...

Walking on the street with the general public, getting coffee, making their way to the train station... just like everyone else...

Yes, they had a crew with them, leading them and following them through the streets of Sapporo. But everything they did was ordinary.

When they are ordering food or drinks, their attempts at reading and speaking Japanese are endearing. They just dove right in. I love them. See? Don't let language be an obstacle when traveling in a foreign country!

I don't know if that's his personal little round furry money purse or if the staff used that for this trip's spending money and just handed it to him... but it was cute as fuck.

There is nothing pretentious about them. Yes they can whip out the black card to pay for expensive whisky but Jungkook took pleasure in choosing what he wanted himself, carrying his armload of 18 year old whisky to the counter and paying the $4000 for it himself at the distillery. He could have had someone else do it for him.

We saw these purchases in his refrigerator during his live on Dec. 8:

As ordinary as it was, there were still some very WTF moments that everyone has already pointed out:

That moment from the car ride on the way from the airport to the hotel at 11 o'clock at night, no seatbelts, Jimin practically sitting in Jungkook's lap and both smushed against the door. Jungkook looking like he is about to get lucky or just did.... man, I don't know what that was all about and how it stayed in this episode instead of getting edited out. I mean... there is a cut so we are not seeing the entire thing but what they left in was... ok?... I guess?

The train ride sequence (even though it was highly manipulated in post-production to wipe out all the other people)...

That culminates in this... we hope it ends up being a selca in the photobook. The moment was so sweet.

At the distillery, cosplaying their pickup lines at a bar...

Jimin's moment of clarity when he envisioned himself a girl dad and Jungkook thinking "uhhhhh... ok, Jimin, whatever you say"...

Gotta say though, Jimin envisioning himself a father at some point in the future was very sweet.

They reminisced a lot, talking about how much they and the other members have changed over the years and still remarking to each other how young they both look when back outside in the cold air, cheeks flushed from whisky and beer and a hot meal.

Their point of view regarding their looks, "they enjoy watching us gradually get raggedy and fat."

Yet, their age difference is exactly what makes them click. Jimin being older, caring, watchful, responsible in the early years, and Jungkook, so young, still socially awkward, always watching Jimin, always sticking close by him, learning how to maneuver the situations they faced in their profession. Through the years they evolved and matured personally and professionally into the men they are today.

If they had been same-agers, the outcome may not have been the same.

Again, props to the staff for everything they did to make this happen for Jimin and Jungkook. It appeared that some of the time they remained outside in the cold while Jimin and Jungkook were indoors eating or getting coffee.

This trip was their final trip before that "rite of passage" that every Korean male is obligated to fulfill. There was a poignant edge to a lot of this episode, in what they talked about, in the imagery. Jimin has always seemed to want to hang on to his "youth" and now he was about to cross that line and he knew it.

I also keep harping on the fact Jimin and Jungkook are together as we speak and I am thankful for that every day. I firmly believe they are thankful for each other, even if they are not same age friends.

Two more episodes.

#jimin #jungkook #jikook #kookmin #are you sure?#i love this thing they left for us it is so very special #i suppose we won't talk about the two days in tokyo prior to sapporo...

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ameliaenya404 · 30 days ago

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Sunrise comfort.

Pairing: Hawks x reader

Content: Fluff. Comfort. Light angst. LOTS of Comfort.

Sometimes you and Hawks woke up early -- or fucked into the early hours of the morning.

Regardless of how it comes to be that you're both awake at the break of dawn, it's a silent agreement that you'd both go out to the balcony. To watch the sunrise. Maybe you had a cup of tea or coffee. Maybe you were cuddled in blankets or simply holding each other. Like now.

Hawks has his arms around your waist, his face buried into the crook of your neck with his eyes peeking out to watch as the sun rises and casts golden hues across the sky and your face.

Most times you spent these mornings in blissfull silence. But you had something on your mind, and as hesitant as you were to spill your guts, it was Hawks your talking to. Keigo. And you wanted him to know everything on your mind deep down.

"Babe...?" You whisper, waiting for his soft hum. A go-ahead. A sign he was listening. That you could speak your mind freely and no matter what he'd be there. A quiet promise of sorts.

"Do you think it'll be okay...like actually?...like...no matter what happened in the past or what happens in the future we can still live...I can still live? Live how I want?..." the questions are hesitant.

A piece of your heart in each word ripped out, the arteries removed and wrapped lovingly in pretty, soft, cloth. And handed over to him to carefully put back into your heart with care and love.

"Yeah....I mean...we can't be sure. Obviously. Life goes how life goes and sometimes it really fucking sucks baby and I'm sorry for that. But....you're so strong...and I'm sorry you have to be. But I've got you now, yeah? You wanna fall, I'll catch you." He mumbles, his lips pressed against the pulse point in your neck.

"You wanna cry, I'll wipe all the tears and snot away. You wanna scream? Do it in my chest. You can be angry about things, and upset. And I'll help you move forward. Help us move forward."

"You won't get sick of it?" It was a cowards way of asking your biggest fear.

Will you get sick of me?

"No... you're worth it... you're worth it, all of it. I promise I'll never get sick of you, baby."

He gave you back your heart. In, pristine condition. Well maybe not pristine. Cracks and scratches litterd it but maybe with each touch he'll heal it. Fix you. Make you feel better.

You'd do the same in return.

You'd kiss the space between his shoulder blades. Kiss the scar on his cheeks. Blow dry his hair.

Lap at each other's wounds until they're ready to be bandaged up forever.

"This is nice," you whisper after minutes of silence pass.

"Your right...it is nice," he hums softly, pressing a soft kiss to your neck and then your cheek.

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vettelsvee · 25 days ago

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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ PART 5: I'LL NEVER LEAVE... NEVER MIND [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist | wattpad f1 masterlist | ao3 | ask anything or let's talk!

ferrari sebastian vettel x ex gf!female reader

word count: 4437

summary: after not seeing each other in almost five years, seb and y/n finally meet with just one purpose for her: telling seb they have a 4 year old daughter. will y/n be able to tell him?

warnings: mentions of sex. i think nothing else but i literally cried while writing this. i recommend that you listen to loml by taylor swift while reading this hehe

taglist: [ @saltycomicsanimalssalad @hc-dutch @mycenterfold @simplyamberj @spitesfvl-blog @jaydaaasworld @lottalove4evelyn @zoeyjadetice2010 @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife @sleutherclaw @youre-on-your-ownkid ]

a/n: i'm finally back! sorry you had to wait this long to get a new chapter but writers block had me going like crazy, as well as my mental health in general. i had something else planned for today BUT be aware of what I'm posting tomorrow since you might like it! christmas is coming soon and i have a surprise ready for you. let me remind you that feedback and reposts are truly appreciated. and also comment me your thoughts and theories on the story pls! missed you so much guys, thank you for everything, love you all <3

May 15th Heppenheim, Germany

“Y/N, remember that you need to be careful with what you say to Seb. I know you want to tell him about Emily, but also consider whether today is the right time. Imagine if…”

You stop listening to Hanna the moment her lips utter your daughter’s name. Instead, your mind started creating a thousand different scenarios about what could happen when you saw your ex-boyfriend today. Your gaze remained fixed on the mirror in your room.

You only returned home five days ago, but it felt like an eternity.

You knew perfectly well why, or rather, you knew perfectly well who was to blame for your distorted sense of time: Sebastian Vettel, of course.

The trip to London felt like a fresh start. While the main reason to go was your meeting with Capital Records to discuss what your near future might hold, you considered it as an opportunity to rethink what you wanted to do with your life from now on.

You had just turned 30, and the only thing you longed for was to start this new decade with a clean slate in every possible way. That, of course, included facing your past mistakes and recognizing your faults, one of which you might be about to commit today.

Hanna acted as some sort of mediator between you and Seb because, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bring yourself to send him even the simplest of messages. The driver seemed to understand, as he told Hanna not to worry, that he understood, and that all you needed to do was show up without standing him up.

Despite having agreed to meet at your house, you decided to dress up a little to present yourself in the best way possible. After spending far more time than you’d like to admit choosing what to wear, you settled on a light blue knee-length dress and white Converse sneakers, with a bracelet your daughter made (or better said your mother made, just Emily took credit for).

"Y/N, are you even listening to me?"

The reflection of your best friend in the mirror startled you. You turned towards her, trying to maintain the calm you’ve lacked since returning from London. Exactly five days that have felt like five years.

Like the five years since you last saw Seb.

"Hey, cat got your tongue or what?" insisted the blonde. "Seriously, Y/N, I want you to be speechless, but preferably when you and Seb take the conversation from the couch to the bed and he makes you scream his name again just like he used to do when..."

"Hanna, for God's sake, shut up! Seb and I are only going to talk about..."

"I know, I know, I was just trying to make you laugh. You know I like to..."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

If you were restless before, pacing back and forth in your room, checking that there was no trace of Emily in the house for Seb to find, now you were frozen like a statue.

You looked at Hanna, and she looked back at you. You shrugged, but Hanna just put her exaggeratedly unfriendly faces.

"Hanna, no..."

"It's Seb, Y/N! It's just Seb, for heaven's sake," she interrupted, and you cut her off just as fast.

"It's the Seb I haven't seen in five years!" you stammered, feeling the anxiety taking over. "Seriously, Hanna, this was a very, very bad idea. I don’t even know why I asked you to tell him to come and..."

"Because he's the father of your daughter, and your only goal is to tell him!" she yelled, trying not to raise her voice too much but failing miserably. You hoped to God Vettel didn’t hear that.

"Hanna..."

"Since I know you're not going to open the door, I'll do it myself. Stay here or come down, do whatever you want, but I'll tell Seb to come find you because clearly, you can't handle welcoming your guest," she declared.

Without saying anything else, she strided out of your room. You could only follow her, practically tripping down the stairs, legs trembling like a teenager on her first date. Your pulse was pounding in your temples, while your mind kept screaming at your body to calm down.

As soon as you stepped onto the ground floor, you saw Hanna opening the door. Her cheerful voice broke the silence, asking Seb how he was and, to your surprise, inviting him in.

You inched closer, not quite enough for them to notice you. Then you stopped, inspecting Seb from head to toe, as if you didn't already know every inch of his body by heart. Even though you were used to seeing him on TV and social media daily, it felt like you haven’t seen him in all this time you’ve been out of touch. He was wearing a slightly worn-out white t-shirt and jeans. His hair was perfectly trimmed, though a bit longer on top, and his beard, probably several days old, was what caught your attention the most, looking just the way you liked it.

But what really captivated you was the bouquet of yellow tulips he was holding, just like he used to bring you for dates or whenever it was a special day for either of you back when you were dating.

You swallowed hard, guilt washing over you as you thought, for a fleeting moment, about him handing you a flower bouquet before you told him you were having his baby.

"Hi..."

You thought your whisper was too soft to be heard, but it was quite the opposite.

Both Seb and Hanna turned to look at each other, then focused on you, still standing in the entryway. Your best friend tensed up slightly, but you tried to reassure her with a slight movement of your hands. The expression on your ex-boyfriend’s face seemed to light up at your small intervention, even if it was minimal.

“Well, Seb, I'll leave you with Y/N. I have a few errands to run…” Your friend tried to excuse herself, though both of you knew it wasn’t true. “See you later for a drink guys!

She winked and quickly slipped out, shutting the door behind her before either of you could even say goodbye.

Now, it was just the two of you, alone.

Seb looked at you again, and you couldn’t help it but get lost in the blue of his eyes. The situation felt strange. You used to cherish every moment of being alone together, but now you didn’t even know how to say a simple "hello."

You once trusted him completely, and now you were unsure whether to offer him a drink or tell him that you have a four-year-old daughter.

“Hi, sunshine,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Hi, Seb.”

He took a step towards you, slowly moving closer. You noticed how his gaze shifted from the flowers to your eyes, as if he was searching for some kind of answer from you. His eyes reflected a mixture of nervousness and tenderness, stirring a whirlwind of emotions inside you.

He didn’t have to say it, you could see it in his eyes. He was afraid of how you’d react to this gesture, this little detail that used to drive you crazy, but now… you didn’t know how to feel about it.

You, on the other hand, were utterly stunned.

How, after all this time and how cold you ended things, could he still do this? How could he still remember?

“These... are for you,” he finally said, his voice low and shaky. He handed you the bouquet, his hands trembling.

You met his gaze, and the way he looked at you was filled with fear, insecurity, and maybe, just maybe, a bit of tenderness. He didn’t need to say it out loud because you knew him too well. He was afraid of how you’d react to this gesture.

“Thank you,” you managed to say, taking your time to smell the flowers.

You couldn’t hold it in. Tears began to blur your vision, and a wave of embarrassment washed over you.

He noticed. Even though you didn’t want to, even though you didn’t feel capable of getting close enough to give him a kiss on the cheek or maybe even a hug, Seb did it anyway.

“It's okay, Y/N,” he whispered. “It’s okay...”

But it wasn’t okay… it was far from okay.

Sebastian Vettel was here, once again, standing in front of you, and possibly back in your life. The boy you once considered your best friend, the best friend you fell in love with, the driver you always supported, and most importantly, the father of your child, was back in your life in such an unexpected way that it still felt surreal.

“I don’t know...” you tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. “It feels surreal that after everything, after such an empty goodbye, here we are, together again,” you confessed. “It’s weird seeing you in front of me in the flesh and not as pixels on a screen.”

“Y/N…”

“I’ve missed you, Seb. So much.”

You knew your honesty didn’t catch him by surprise, because he felt the same way. That’s what hurt the most.

“I missed you too, Y/N. I really did...” he said after a moment, wrapping his arms around you, and you pressed your face against his chest.

“Seb…”

“Don’t overthink it, really,” he interrupted gently. “I’m not here to talk about the past or blame anyone,” he paused, letting out a breath before continuing. “I just want us to go back to who we were before we were together. But, if I’m being honest, we’ve been in love with each other for so long that I can’t remember a time when you weren’t my everything.”

Your lips trembled. The weight of his words was too much for you to handle, at least today, in a first encounter where you haven’t even spent ten minutes together.

You felt awful. You felt shattered inside knowing that if you were in this situation, it was because of you.

“Well, Y/N, tell me…”

“No, no,” you quickly interrupted, grabbing his arm and guiding him to sit on the couch. Immediately after, you rushed to the kitchen to grab the drinks and snacks you spent all morning preparing. “You tell me first. Even though I’ve seen you on TV, I know you’re very private about your life, you know... You never share anything with the media, and well, you don’t even have social media so… How are you?”

He let out a short laugh as he picked up a bottle of water and a cheese-and-salmon toast.

“Well, to be honest, I’m doing much better than when you left me,” he revealed. It didn’t surprise you. After all, it was what you expected him to say. “You must have had your reasons for breaking up with me, and after all these years, I’m not going to ask why you did it. But I won’t lie to you… you left me shattered, Y/N.”

“Seb, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“I know,” he cut in softly, making a gentle gesture with his hand to calm you down. “Like I said, I’m not looking for an explanation or an apology. I just want you to know how I felt. Mentally… damn, Y/N, you broke me, and I completely lost myself, but at the same time, that’s what gave me the strength to win the championship in 2013,” he looked away from your eyes, shifting his gaze to the wall. Nervously, he started playing with his fingers. “All I could think about was you and that, maybe, there was a chance you were watching...”

“Of course I was, Seb,” you said softly, trying to hold back the tears and keep your composure. “No matter what happened, I never stopped watching or supporting you. I’ve always been, and will always be, your number one fan.”

He nodded, a bittersweet expression crossing his face.

“That year, everything I did was with the thought in mind that you were watching and, somehow, it helped me move forward. But… 2014 was when everything fell apart,” he admitted. “Red Bull wasn’t the same anymore, or at least, I didn’t feel the same way. I wasn’t winning, Daniel was beating me… I felt like I had lost everything, including you and, with time, I started to feel like I had no reason to stay with the team or maybe even in Formula 1. Until Ferrari offered me the contract.”

You remembered it like it was yesterday. Unlike any regular sports fan, you found out through Heike when you were out for a walk with Emily.

“When I was given the chance to sign with Ferrari in 2015... Y/N, really, that’s when I realized it wasn’t the end. That’s what I needed to move forward. I think I mentioned it to you on WhatsApp, but I don’t know if you remember…”

You swallowed hard. Of course, you remembered. He told you just before the news became public, before his mum told you, but you didn’t know how to answer him or if you really should do it. The demons in your head made you think it was a joke, even just an excuse to get closer to you. And you also felt that if he did sign with Ferrari, it would open a door you had closed because you weren’t ready to face the truth.

Just like you were doing now.

“I remember, yes,” you murmured, unable to look him in the eyes.

“When I didn’t get a reply from you I decided not to push it. That’s when I realized you didn’t want anything to do with me. Yet I kept sending you stuff as you might know…”

“That’s not it…” You could barely speak. You were as broken as he was. “I read the message, Seb, but… I burst into tears and didn’t have the strength to reply. I didn’t want to give you false hope when I wasn’t ready to… I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already had,” you confessed. “I knew that if I spoke to you again, I’d hurt you again. And I’d hurt myself too. I couldn’t do that to you, Seb.”

He nodded, looking for some kind of affirmation in your gaze.

“At first, I felt really out of place on the team, you know? And I felt that way for a long time,” he revealed. “It was completely out of my comfort zone, and I felt like I’d never fit in. But little by little, Kimi, Maurizio, and the team made me feel like family. It’s strange to think about it now, but I can’t imagine being with any team other than Ferrari.” You agreed with him, from what you had seen on TV, it was clear he felt that way. “Fighting for the world title with them this year and having a real shot at beating Mercedes… I never thought I’d get to this point.”

You looked at him with a mix of admiration and nostalgia. This was the Seb you knew, the Seb with ambition, who always desired more and more. The Seb who never gave up.

The Seb who didn’t break down, even when he had every reason to.

“I’m so proud of you, Seb. I’ve always been, and I always will be. Don’t forget that.”

“Of course, Y/N,” he looked uncomfortable. Quite a bit, actually. “Well… enough about me. You know I don’t like talking about myself… What about you? What have you been up to all this time? My mom told me a bit, and I’ve seen you a few times, but…”

More than not knowing what to say, you sensed he didn’t want to intrude too much into your life.

You swallowed, trying not to get more nervous than you already were, because now, you supposed, was the moment to tell him about Emily.

“Well, not much has changed, really,” you started, unsure of what to say. “I’ve been in Heppenheim the whole time, except for a couple of trips to Berlin, but nothing unusual,” you tried to smile, but your mind kept circling around the fact that you had to tell him you had a daughter. “I’ve been working at the bar and writing music. To be honest, since we broke up I’ve had a lot more inspiration.”

And since I gave birth to Emily, you thought.

Seb didn’t say anything. You figured he understood. After all, he had thrown himself into his career to cope, while you had poured your emotions into writing songs about the story you shared to cope with grief.

“Now things have changed a bit,” you continued, trying to sound more upbeat to push away the painful memories. “Ever since Red went viral… I swear, I uploaded it without expecting anything, but the reaction…”

“The song is amazing, Y/N. Of course it went viral.”

“I’ve been offered a record deal,” you blurted out. “A few years ago, I met Niall Horan at the bar. You know, the guy who was on that band, One Direction…” Seb nodded, his eyes wide, encouraging you to continue. “He told me he was traveling to find some inspiration for his solo career, and I guess Heppenheim seemed like a good place for him to visit.”

��Wait, wait… a record deal?”

“Apparently, Niall told his label that I was the voice behind Red, and, well… Capital Records offered me a contract,” you explained. “They called me to have a meeting in London, which is why we couldn’t meet up last time…”

His face was calm, unreadable, though his mouth had curved into a big smile. He didn’t seem surprised, and you knew there was a strong chance Hanna had told him everything.

If that was true…

“I hope you accepted, Y/N.”

“Well… actually, I didn’t. I turned it down.”

His smile faded for a moment, and his expression became completely serious.

“You turned it down? Why? Sunshine, this is an opportunity…”

“Yes, I know it’s an amazing opportunity, but I can’t accept it. Not right now.”

You figured this was the moment you should tell him the real reason behind rejecting such a big deal, which included a tour if you sold a certain amount of CDs.

Sebastian kept staring at you, which only made you more nervous. You tried to gather your thoughts, searching for the right way to tell him you had a four-year-old daughter, but you couldn’t find the moment.

You couldn’t just drop it on him now, after all, this was your first real conversation in almost five years.

“Y/N, darling…”

“I can’t take the risk when the only thing I’ve managed is to get one song out of all the ones I sent to the label to go viral,” you half-lied. It was true that you didn’t want to talk about it yet, but you were also insecure about your music. “As much as I’d love to have an album, to fill stadiums and have people singing along to my songs, I can’t take that risk.”

“But, Y/N…”

“I’m not sure all the songs on the album would be successful, Seb.”

“Y/N, you have no idea what you’re going to regret if you let this go....”

“No, Seb, I know exactly what I’m doing, really,” you shook your head, firm in your decision. “This is the best thing for me.”

And for Emily too, though you didn’t say that out loud.

Seb remained silent for longer than you would have liked, as if trying to process what you’d just told him. Then, he stood up, crouching down to your level, and taking your hands in his, he said:

“Alright. If you think your songs aren’t good enough, sing one of them to me.”

“What?” you asked, confused.

“If you turned down the record deal because you think your songs aren’t good enough for the world to hear, sing one of them to me.”

His tone, though calm, was direct and insistent.

“Seb… I can’t. I’m too embarrassed,” you laughed nervously.

“Come on, Y/N,” he said, gently rubbing your hands with his thumbs, just like he always did when your anxiety was at its worst. “It’s just me. I’m still the same after all these years.”

You sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to let it go until you gave in. It was Seb, and he always got what he wanted from you, even when you didn’t want to. In the end, you gave in, carefully standing up from the couch and heading towards the piano at the back of the room, gesturing for him to follow you.

You carefully slided the bench back, lifting the lid as you sat down. You positioned your hands, starting to play the first few chords to warm up, ensuring your memory flawlessly recalled the piece.

“This is song number 5, like your driver number... It's called loml.”

You continued playing, finally giving way to the song.

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing Back into rekindled flames? If we know the steps anyway We embroidered the memories Of the time I was away Stitching, ‘We were just kids, babe.’ I said, ‘I don't mind, it takes time.’ I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed I felt aglow like this Never before and never since.

Your voice shook as you began to sing, but you kept going, holding on to what your ex-boyfriend had told you about how he knew it was about him. As you settled into the song, you started feeling more comfortable, just like you did when you used to sing for Seb. Though you couldn’t look at him because you were absorbed in the key, your fingers delicately moving over it, you could feel his eyes on you.

You shit-talked me under the table Talking rings and talking cradles I wish I could un-recall How we almost had it all Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can't get out of bed? Cause something counterfeit's dead.

Tears started falling from your eyes as you approached the final part of the song. Memories of your shared history flashed through your mind like a movie. Your vision was completely blurred, and you felt a tightness in your chest that was overwhelming, making it hard to breathe, almost impossible to keep singing. Somehow, though, you fought to hold it together, just as you did the day you said goodbye to the man now sitting beside you.

Oh, what a valiant roar What a bland goodbye The coward claimed he was a lion I'm combing through the braids of lies ‘I’ll never leave’... ‘Never mind.’ Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire Your arson matches your somber eyes And I'll still see it until I die You're the loss of my life.

Silence filled the room as you played the final notes. With your hands still resting on the keyboard, you looked at Seb. Once again, you didn’t know what to say to him, and you knew he didn't either. He was motionless, running a hand through his hair, probably trying to process what he just heard.

Y/Ni, this song... it’s about us, isn’t it?”

“It might be,” you admited, unable to lie to him, at least not about this.

He sighed. You could tell he was affected; you knew it the moment his tears began to form, just as yours continued to flow.

“You should rethink the contract,” he said firmly. “This song deserves to be heard by more than just me, your parents, and Hanna.”

“I can’t, Seb. I just can’t…”

“Can I sit next to you?”

You looked up and saw him gesturing to the bench. Confused, not sure what to do or say, you shifted a little, making space, and he sat beside you. Seb didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around you, offering a comfort that felt wonderful but also caused you to crumble a bit more inside.

You surprised yourself by resting your head on his shoulder.

“Why are you so determined to convince yourself you don’t deserve this opportunity?” His tone was soft, just like the way he stroked your hair. “Do you really think you're not good enough to be a successful singer?”

“It’s not about being good enough, it’s that I’m not,” you whisper,ed your throat tightening. “I’m not a good person, Seb, and it’s only a matter of time before I screw up again and hurt someone, just like I hurt you.”

“Does this… have something to do with the second date in your YouTube channel username?”

You stood your head up, staring at him in confusion while trying not to panic.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your username,” he repeated, moving closer. “I figured out that the numbers represent two dates. I know for sure that one of them is June 15, 2006, the day we started dating, but the other one… I don’t know what January 12, 2014 means for you because we weren’t talking by then, but it must be important. And based on what you just said…”

Your eyes widened in shock. You were paralyzed, not knowing how to react.

How could he have noticed something so… insignificant? How had he connected the dots and figured out the dates you had in mind when you created that account?

You thought this would be the perfect moment to tell him that the second date marks the birth of your daughter, the daughter you had together; that on that day, while you were in labor, he was at the hospital waiting for some exams results and he was talking to your dad, who couldn’t contain his excitement about his granddaughter’s arrival and had to keep it a secret from him.

But you couldn’t. Not yet. You need to regain his trust first. You and Seb needed to rebuild the kind of relationship you had before you became the love of each other’s lives.

“Seb…” you trailed off, unable to continue. “I swear, on everything that matters to you, I’ll tell you, but right now… I just can’t.”

He looked at you for a few seconds that felt like an eternity. You knew him better than you knew yourself, and you knew he was persistent, that he needed an answer, but you also knew he was respectful and wouldn't push you.

“That’s okay,” he said finally, a bit resigned. “I understand, it’s fine. I’m not asking you to tell me now if you’re not ready, but I want you to know that when you are, I’ll be here to listen.”

You looked at him, grateful, and nodded without saying anything else.

You both sat at the piano bench for a while, in silence, listening only to the sound of your breathing and the melody of the song replaying in your mind, as intrusive thoughts overwhelmed you.

“If I waited almost 19 years of my life to be your boyfriend, I can wait a little longer, it doesn’t matter the time you need, for you to tell me,” Seb finally spoke, and his words broke you a little more than you already were. “Let’s be friends again, what do you think?” he offered, giving you a small smile. “Let’s take things slowly, like maybe we should have done when we first started dating. You know…”

“Slowly, no problem,” you repeated, smiling back at him.

You felt a weight lift from your shoulders at his words. Maybe you were not at the peak of your relationship, and maybe you’d never got back there, but at least you were working together to turn your story into something new.

“You know what, Y/N? I’ve always felt like our story wasn’t over. I don’t just mean that romantically, but in a broader sense,” he said quickly. “We have a whole lot of history, and now is when we’re going to start writing our second book.”

“I know, Seb. I’ve been thinking the same thing ever since I said goodbye to you,” you confess. “That day, goodbyes were bittersweet, but I knew it wasn’t the end and that I’d see you again.”

Before the year ends. I’m telling Seb Emily is her daughter before December 31st.

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a-student-out-of-time · 9 days ago

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An Important Reminder In Trying Times

Hey everyone, Mod Bubbles here.

I know that I've said over and over that I don't like talking about politics on here, but I really feel the need to say this:

This Is Not The End.

I understand things probably seem really bleak right now. A lot of people are going to be hurt by this, and the sheer amount of fearmongering and worst case scenarios are inescapable. But the country and the world are not going to change overnight. To be honest, it may not change very much at all in the next four years. I'm not a political scientist, so I can't tell you that for sure. There's a lot to be concerned about.

What I can tell you, as a student of history, is this: not only have we survived this once, we have survived this every time.

Think about it this way: every single tyrant, every single right-wing representative, every single emperor and colonial power, every corporate scumbag and power-hungry lunatic. No matter how many of them have ever come to power, held onto power, and tried to make themselves seem invincible, not a single one has ever held back humanity's progress and not a single one has proven to be invincible.

There were countries throughout history, especially in the 20th century, that fell under brutal dictatorships and saw countless lives lost. Did the people just give up and accept it? Fuck no they didn't. They fought back. Many of them lived to see democracy restored to their lands in their lifetimes, or fought to see it restored in their children's.

From Europe to Latin America, while many countries still have their issues, they endured and their people have survived. Their governments were not invincible, just as none ever have been.

Regardless of the outcome of this election, the world will go on. People will not just roll over and accept whatever horrible things happen, the fight will continue and we will do everything in our power to carry on as we always have. We'll carry on to achieve bigger and better things.

Let me also be clear: if you feel the need to cry, please cry. If you're afraid, don't pretend you're not. If you're angry, allow yourself to feel that anger. But if you're seriously contemplating giving up or hurting yourself, please don't.

You may hear all this news and ask yourself, "Bubbles, what's the point? What can I do about all this?" I've felt that way too, I have for a long time. I understand completely. It's scary and overwhelming, but I'll tell you exactly what you can do to fight against that: you can be kind.

Do you want to know where the most tangible change in the world begins? It's never at the top. It begins with people like us on a communal level, where we reach out to help others. Whether that means we help our neighbors, our friends, or any strangers we can.

Going out of your way to start fights, looking for someone to blame based on the flimsiest justifications, and just being cruel because you're angry, those aren't how you change anything. Those just add to the problem.

Here's just some ideas on what you can do instead:

Get away from the news, stop doomscrolling, mute doomers, and turn the TV and news apps off. This will get you out of a negative feedback loop that'll make you feel worse and more powerless, which is what they're designed to do in order to maximize traffic.

Remember to eat, sleep, brush your teeth, take a shower, take your meds, and do everything else you need to do to stay healthy.

If you or someone else really feel like leaving the country for your own safety is best, you can still work do so. But please don't convince yourself that if you can't, it's over.

Give back to people as much as you can. Show the people in your life who support you that you care, and that all that they do for you matters.

Donate to good causes you believe in.

Stand up to bullshit whenever you see it.

Do not give up on your dreams and ambitions. One bad leader does not mean your future automatically ends. Stop worrying about any potential apocalypse in the future, because you can do that even on the best days, and instead work toward a future that you CAN achieve.

There's this pervasive and very inaccurate idea that it's only the president who gets to enforce policies on the country. This ignores governors, the House of Representatives, Congress, mayors, and the countless other leaders involved. And it ignores you.

You do not have to spend the next 3 years and 364 days doing nothing but feeling miserable. In fact, that's the last thing you should do. Fear and despair are the weapons they wield, and they only have as much power as you allow them to have over you.

If your view of politics is that you just have to vote for the "right one" and then everything will be utopian, or that if people vote for the wrong one" then we're headed for a terrible dystopian nightmare, I have to tell you that that is incredibly reductionist and also very dumb. I can also tell you from personal experience that it's not them who make the real changes where it's needed.

A friend sent me a video that really opened my eyes on this situation: Adam Conover, the guy behind Adam Ruins Everything, said he's not worried about all this. Why? Because he and some friends were able, through their own power, to make real positive changes in their community. They were able to bring homelessness down in their district by over 38% through their own efforts.

And he's right that, as a silver lining to all this, it made more Americans than ever take a stand against all the horrible shit they were seeing and get involved with solutions.

Speaking from my own experiences as well, when Hurricane Helene devastated my area, it wasn't the politicians who came and repaired roads and power lines, it wasn't them who brought in food and supplies to everyone, and it wasn't them who worked tirelessly to save people still in need. It was everyone in our local communities.

The people at the top have never really cared about anything more than your money and your vote, but the people around you care more than you may believe they would. Hell, even strangers on the internet care more than you'd believe.

Now, even if you've made it this far, you may be wondering "What about when he starts outlawing and banning things?" To that, I say look at Prohibition and see how well that went. Politicians have only ever operated under the idea that banning something will make it go away, and it always does the exact opposite. And if you're still worried, you can get involved with organizations that fight to support these things being available and regulated.

But by now, you may also be wondering "What if I can't get involved? What if I'm too young or I don't have the money, or my parents won't let me?"

Then just be kind.

Stop looking for enemies to blame. Don't martyr yourself for some nebulous cause or the idea that your suffering increasing means the rest of the suffering in the world will go down. Don't torture yourself by telling yourself that you didn't do enough.

Show compassion, show support, show love and genuine care toward people who need it, including yourself.

"But there's so many shitty people in this country and the world, why should I-" Stop thinking that way. This isn't about them, this is about you and how you can make a difference. There will probably always be shitheads and power-hungry morons, but that does not negate the fact that you can choose to be different. You can choose to be kind.

Kindness is a sword that you have to learn how to wield. Wield it responsibly and use it to help others. No matter how small or insignificant it may be, YOU DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I say all this as a 29-year-old who spent most of his life feeling scared and miserable about so many current events, convincing myself I'm useless and selfish because I was worried about so much and I hated myself for all of it. And I've decide I'm not going to do that anymore.

During the last right-wing era, I managed to help build a whole community out of my love for Danganronpa. I created friendships, relationships, and there are people alive right now because I chose to do so. Because I chose to use that community for kindness. I want to keep building from there by going into streaming and reaching out to more people.

I won't lie to you and say that I'm not scared, because I am. But I'm also not going to let fear change who I am. I want us all to be better to ourselves and others, because that is how you defeat hate. It starts with you.

And if you're still concerned, let me share with you a quote from The Great Dictator, a movie made in 1940, when World War II wasn't even at its height yet:

To those who can hear me, I say - do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish…

Please take care of yourselves out there, everyone. We'll get through this, just as we always have.

#mod talks #a student out of time #real talk #real life stuff #cw: current events #cw: the election

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laughingfcx · 1 month ago

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SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!

02. day2.mp4

cws: as usual, weird yuta <3 implied fighting, mild injury !? somewhat graphic description of death(?) ^_^ // masterlist is linked in the title!

wc: 1.4k!

good morning, afternoon or evening, pretty! i don't know when exactly you'll be watching this, of course, but i do hope you've taken my advice and waited for the next day to watch this! if you're even alive by now, that is! some people just end up dying, y'know, it's crazy.

good morning, yuta okkotsu. wait— why'd you just wish the weird murderer a good morning in your head? is he turning you weird too?

we— i don't have a lot to do today, so we'll go shopping! i mean, i do have to get more food, and running from the authorities doesn't really classify as fun in my brain anymore.

they want to kill me again, i think... see, i'm not against them, the higher-ups, but you gotta go with the flow, y'know? stay on top no matter what. one day, i'll be on top. mark my— actually don't, who knows what'll happen? maybe i'll end up dead! hmm, cherry or peach?

he looks back at the camera.

i'm talking gummies here; my best friend liked the peach ones, but i like the cherry flavour.

a pause; yuta pouts.

if i'm being honest, i really do miss them a lot. but they just don't understand, y'know? "do good, you'll get done good." that's just not a real thing anymore. to get what you want, you have to break the rules sometimes. i guess i broke too many, and now i've basically lost all the people i care about.

the camcorder is set down somewhere, and yuta takes a step back. he holds up three packets of something called happy cherries.

how long d'you think they'll last? eh, whatever— oh, oh shit, wait—

the screen goes black. you hear hurried footsteps, probably belonging to yuta.

that'll be $14.99, sir.

here, keep the change.

thanks.

he begins walking again; his steps speed up until he's running. vague yelling can be heard in the distance before it all just— stops.

yuta comes back into frame. he is in front of a background that suspiciously looks like the sky and nothing else, and his hair whips about messily because of the wind. he barks out a short laugh, one without any humour in it, before his mouth is set in a thin line.

they're not above sending my own friends to kill me now, it seems. rika, can you hold this?

the camcorder appears to be removed from his hands; he rolls his shoulders lazily with a yawn.

too bad none of them are anywhere near as strong as me.

then he perks up.

oh! by the way, i'm flying right now! check it out!

the camera pans around to show that he is indeed moving in midair.

rika's carrying me right now, but she's a cursed spirit, so you can't see her through the camera. but if you're still watching this, that means you can see curses in general. i'll introduce you guys someday!

the camera comes back to yuta's face. he mutters something under his breath.

if they don't kill me before that, of course. but, if i'm being honest, there's probably a higher chance of you dying from... ah... natural causes in the near future than me getting murdered by my old friends.

as if he has not just dropped that terrifying bombshell, yuta continues talking with a smile.

our next stop is the convenience store near my place! i'm really craving some instant noodles right now.

unfortunately, you'll have to go in the bag now.

yuta pouts. the screen goes black after some rustling, and he begins to hum to himself. then:

salmon cod roe.

the fuck?

yuta (you assume) makes a sharp noise in his throat.

inumaki?

mustard leaf.

what are you worried about? i'm fine.

bonito flakes.

that's not true.

yuta's voice is harsh; he seems upset.

i don't want to hurt you, toge. you'd better leave, now.

bonito flakes.

the sound of a— katana? being withdrawn breaks the tense silence.

toge.

a pause.

rika!

don't move!

the two voices ring out at the same time.

with a sudden jolt, your body goes rigid, then slack. you feel... powerless. weak. you can't move. you try to wiggle your fingers, your toes— nothing. somehow, this sudden loss of bodily autonomy is much more chilling than the self-proclaimed murderer who lives in your garage-sale camcorder. the only movement right now is the steady rise and fall of your chest as you breathe; even then, it's relaxed, when you know you would be hyperventilating right now if things were under your control.

huh?

sorry, that doesn't work on me anymore.

silence. it feels like yuta and the other person— toge? are having a silent conversation.

i warned you.

a loud crash, more running.

and then— the sky clears. metaphorically, at least. it's as if you're suddenly aware of everything again, suddenly able to move.

the recording is obviously paused; the screen immediately cuts to yuta. blood dribbles down weakly from a cut above his eyebrow, and there is a bag of frozen peas pressed halfheartedly to his cheek. he looks bored.

welcome home. i mean, my home. for now. as you can see—

he shrugs.

—there wasn't much of a fight. of course, i went easy on him. even if we're on opposite— no, even if we're not on the same side anymore, he still matters a lot to me. i don't want him to die.

but i bet you still have a lot of questions about a lot of stuff. like, why am i so sure about the person i'm talking to right now? what if you were just some old guy?

see, i can explain all of that. i'm not stupid, y'know.

the atmosphere shifts, tenses—

i wouldn't encourage you to think otherwise.

—and goes back to normal..

wait, i'm too low on sugar to do this right now.

he gets up and disappears from view, before returning with one of the previously purchased jumbo bags of cherry-flavoured, cherry-shaped gummies.

i already had the other two, but it wasn't enough, apparently. it's getting late, though. i think i'll tell you everything — or almost everything — tomorrow.

until then, don't die. it'd be so disappointing if you did. i mean, i'd still send flowers to your funeral, of course! but people are so much more entertaining alive than dead, don't you think? although...

when i really dislike someone, i think the best part is when they're writhing and crying and begging to die, when they're dying but they're also not quite there yet.

the smile on his face is bone-chilling, but also oddly attractive. whoa, dude, what the hell? why'd you just think that? what is wrong with you?

yuta pops another gummy into his mouth. his eyes close in appreciation; he looks like an eager, adorable puppy, albeit a concerningly sleep-deprived one, as he chews with a truer smile than before.

mm, i think that's enough for today! as usual, watch the next one tomorrow! goodbye!

he blows a kiss at the screen and your heart skips a beat. you shut your laptop down and get up.

"rika, do you think i made the right choice with her?" yuta asks. he is holding a magazine that was published last month. it is opened to the twenty-third page, which greets him with the title, GOING ON AN INTERNET DETOX HIKE WITH MY BEST FRIEND.

he is looking at one of the pictures in particular, the only one that does not present the scenery of wherever the author went. instead, it is a photograph of two people. the author, and her best friend — you. you smile up at him — only him, he likes to think — so prettily. he really, truly, sincerely hopes you make it out alive. he thinks the two of you would get along great.

rika shakes her head vehemently with a high-pitched cry, and yuta's smile disappears, replaced by a sudden unnerving lack of emotion. "come now, rika, don't be like that. it can't just be the two of us forever."

rika makes another noise of protest; yuta waves her away before closing the magazine.

"whatever, everything will work out, won't it?"

though phrased like a question, it is obviously a statement. as if the only option is for all this to end well. and that isn't really an understatement, is it? yuta will do everything in his power to make sure it does. and the best part is— he's powerful enough to actually do it.

taglist; @stillnotherapy @fishii28 @akaakeis @chososcamgirl @essjujutsu @xnqq @mikikkoo @brideads @schioedtei @starrissm @skullvgirl @satoryaa @aozui @kameyyy @dawnisatotalqueen @nothers @sonotpattismith @babysoo-meu

taglist is open :) i can't tag the bolded usernames!

UMMM YANDERE STALKER WHAT. I DONT LIKE THIS GUYS

im so down bad for him this isn't even normal

iya memorial service gc i will never forget u ("yandere yuta can redacted redacted" — someone in gc 2024)

next chapter will have much explaining also i was Thinking and the reader is so stupid like girl do NAWT [what she will do in the future]

i once had an entire bag of happy cherries while traveling and i felt so sick afterwards 10/10 experience would do jt again

fucking neighbours are setting off fireworks i hope they explode too (they sound like b*mbs actually)

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satorusugurugurl · 8 months ago

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Pairing: Geto Sugurux FAB!Reader

Warning: dirty talk, a little knife play, no blood, squirting, degradation, kitchen sex!

Word Count: 4,740

A/N: A modern college AU!! I just kept thinking of two things. Suguru Geto and a Ghost-Face mask! This is my first post!!

Summary: When you fall asleep waiting for your boyfriend Geto Suguru to get home, you pass out holding your book. The dark romance smut book. The same book your boyfriend picks up and reads. A masked stalker? Geto can give you exactly what you want!

MINOR DNI!!!

The second Geto walked into your shared apartment, the tension in his shoulders seemingly vanished. The stress of his night classes and future exams didn't matter. He took his shoes off. All that mattered was being here at home with you.

Treading into the kitchen, Geto blinked, stunned not to find you sitting at the counter—the spot you had claimed for the last three nights. You sipped on a cup of tea while reading the pages of your newest book, where you asked about his day and seemed hesitant when he asked you about yours. But that had to be because you were lost in your book.

Heading into the bedroom, Geto grinned, finding you curled on your side. Upon hearing your soft breathing, Geto treaded carefully toward your side of the bed. From the book barely in your grasp to the entire cup of tea on the nightstand, Geto could piece together what had happened.

You tried staying up late for the fourth night to welcome him home. It came as no surprise that you had fallen asleep. You were so selfless and caring; those were a couple of the many things Suguru loved about you. You deserved a good night's rest. Grabbing the book, Geto glanced around for your bookmark. He reached over your body, mindlessly searching for it under the blankets.

The second he pulled it out from the blankets, he opened the book to place it securely where you'd left off. But just before he closed the book, a particular line caught his attention. ‘My masked stalker bent me over the counter, tossing his knife to the side before he buried his cock inside of me.’ Suguru read the line over and over again before peering down at you.

What kind of book were you reading? You were his sweet, high fantasy fairy romance-loving girlfriend? The same girl that gets flustered over the couple having to share a bed at an inn?

Well, this was a pleasant surprise.

With his interest peeked, Suguru sat in the living room reading the first few chapters of your dirty, dark romance. Calling it that was an understatement. This book was filthy. The stalker wore a Ghostface mask, fucked the heroine with the handle of a knife, and killed anyone that touched her. The sex scenes were so dark, gruesome, and arousing. He could see why you hadn't been able to put it down.

And why you were always flushed when he came home.

He wasn't an idiot; he knew why you liked it. The author described the stalker character as tall, long dark hair, and incredibly strong. You saw him in this character. Was that why you were so hesitant every night he had come home? Did you want something from him? Perhaps some role-playing?

The more he read, the harder his cock throbbed. This book was what you had been squirming and fantasizing about. And if his assumptions were correct, these were things you might want to try out. How cruel would it be to allow you to continue to suffer in silence? What kind of boyfriend would he be?

With a few taps on his phone, Suguru smirked as he got the notification that his package would arrive tomorrow. There was no going back now. All he could do was wait.

(~)(~)(~) (~)(~)(~) (~)(~)(~)

“Did you finish it?” Shoko asked through your phone as you stepped off the elevator on the third floor.

“No, I passed out reading last night. I'll finish it tonight, though.”

“Are you going to ask Suguru to buy a Ghost-Face mask?”

The teasing tone in your friend's voice made you blush. Not because it was embarrassing, but because you fucking wanted to. Reading Leo’s Throne had awakened things you didn't know you were into. Like choking, biting, rough sex, and being chased by a sexy masked man.

Sighing heavily, you stopped, “Shoko, please,” she giggled at your pain, “it's embarrassing! I don't want him to think I'm some fucked up delinquent.” The line grew silent as hushed whispers bickered on the other line.

“Uhm, I hate to break it to you.” Gojo chimed in, “But beating your meat to a girl getting fucked with the handle of a kni-”

“Shut up!”

More laughter erupted from the other line. “Look, we're not kink-shaming you. We're just encouraging you to talk to Suguru.” Shoko continued as Gojo cackled.

“That doesn't make me feel any better.” A whine worked its way up your throat.

It wasn't like sex with Geto was dull! Not in the slightest. You had never squirted until you met your fantastic boyfriend. The man left your legs trembling and tears running down your face whenever you were intimate. But you just wanted something different. Different as in your boyfriend acting as if he was your masked stalker. Doing that meant you would be asking him to be rougher than he ever had been before.

Oh yeah, how could that ever be mortifyingly embarrassing?

“Just go at your own pace, Y/N. Don't force yourself if you're not comfortable.”

“Yeah, yeah, I just got home. I'll see you two later.”

With a final goodbye, you shoved your phone into your pocket as you unlocked the door to your and Suguru’s shared apartment. It was Friday, so he would be home tonight, seeing as he had no night classes. Now would be the ideal time to discuss the kinky things you wanted to try. For Suguru to be rougher, possibly wear a mask. . .and to chase you around the apartment before he fucked the air out of your lungs.

No holding back! Shoko and Gojo were right. There was no harm in asking!

As you stepped into the apartment, you knew something was different. The sun had just begun to set, and the living room light was off. Which was strange, seeing as it was on a timer. Did the apartment lose power or something?

“Suguru?” No answer. “Suguru, I'm home!” you announced as you slipped your tennis shoes off.

“Welcome home.” Hearing your boyfriend's voice from within eased your nerves.

“Hey, what's going on with the lights? Did we lose power or something?” Without Suguru’s response, you found your answer, noticing the stove clock and refrigerator buzzing hum. “Babe?”

Silence passes by before his chuckle resonates from down the hall. “I turned them off.” That was the only response you got back.

“Why?”

“I thought I would set the mood.”

“I'm sorry. What mood are you trying to set?”

“I'm thinking we could play a little, angel~.”

Your body stiffened, not from his tone or the way he was acting, but because he called you Angel. Never once in your two-year relationship or your five-year friendship has Geto Suguru called you Angel. But Leo Rainsworth, the stalker from Leo’s Throne, called the heroine Angel all the damn time. Because she was so pure, he saw himself as a dark demon.

You were fucked.

“Ohh fuck.”

Another dark chuckle echoes from down the hall. “Oh, fuck is right. You fell asleep with your book in your hand last night. I just happened to read a couple of chapters.” Floorboards creaked from the dark hall. “I just have to say, I didn't know you were into kinky shit like that.” Another creak had your heart thundering against your ribcage.

“I-I well, it was—” you stuttered, trying to find the right words. There was no denying Suguru had found your smut. So you might as well tell him the truth. “It was so fucking hot.”

“Was it now?” You hummed in response. “Were you wanting to try some of that stuff? Is that why you stayed up late waiting for me this week? You were hesitant to ask, weren't you? Didn’t want me to know how fucking kinky you are?”

“Y-Yeah, I wanted to ask, but I was nervous. I didn’t know if it would be a turn-off?”

Suguru sighed heavily. “Well, seeing as someone doesn't know how to communicate their wants.” The sound of something, hard, being dragged over the wall made your pussy clench. “I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands.”

A whimper passed through your lips. Holy fuck, the anticipation of what was to come was almost too much to handle. Shifting your legs, you felt just how wet you were. Your panties were utterly soaked with your arousal. Fuck this hot.

“Fuck.”

“Do you want this?” There was no trace of teasing in Suguru’s voice. He was serious, wanting to know if you were okay with this continuing. “Are you comfortable?”

“God, yes. I-I want this Sugu.”

The response was so sudden it took both of you off guard. No hesitation, no questions asked. Just a simple answer. One that was about to rock your world.

“What’s our safeword?”

“Pineapple.”

“And our safety colors?”

“Green for good, yellow means I need you to slow down, or I need to take a break, and red means stop.” You recited, stepping out of the kitchen to look down the dark hallway for your boyfriend. The eagerness was moving you a step closer to his voice.

“You use them if things get too intense. It doesn't matter how far we get. I could be inside you, but if you say red, we stop.”

“Right, I understand.”

A tall silhouette strutted forward as your eyes finally adjusted to the dark hallway. “Good girl,” he says, taking another step forward. “Now, do me a favor.” Suguru stepped out into the living room, and you swear your heart dropped into your stomach. “Run.”

Your boyfriend is shirtless, black jeans clinging to his hips. Dragging your eyes up, you bite down on your bottom lip. Every fantasy you had in the last four days comes true in seconds. Suguru’s handsome face was hidden behind a Ghostface mask. Making it impossible to read his expressions, which made this ten times hotter. The uncertainty of what was going on through his head had you clenching your thighs together.

“I said run,” he repeated, holding up a large plastic prop knife, “Angel.”

You turned, running towards the kitchen, your socks sliding against the hardwood floor. Just as you slid, a rush of air grazed your back. Looking over your shoulder, you inhaled, seeing your boyfriend on your trail. He didn’t even give you a head start. Goddamn, he was playing the part well. Ducking slightly, you pushed forward, stumbling, only to hear Suguru curse as he missed you again.

“Holy shit, what happened to a ten-second head start?” You gasped out, standing at the far side of the kitchen island.

“Tsk,” he ran his thumb over the knife's hilt, “and give you a chance to get away? I don’t think so.”

Suguru moved, walking towards you as you stepped back. He was like a great white shark, circling the kitchen island, stalking his prey. Which just so happened to be you. Knowing that at any moment he could charge you, it had your pussy throbbing in need.

“Oh shit.” You looked around, thinking of what to do. Heading to the living room would result in a short-lived chase. If you took it to the bedroom, you might just end up begging for him to fuck you. “Fuck, fuck me.”

“Oh, I intend to. I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll have to cancel all of your plans tomorrow.” He smirked. “Not only will you not be able to walk, but I will mark you up. Make you even prettier than you already are.”

“T-That can only happen if you catch me.”

Hearing those words made Suguu’s body stiffen. His ab’s were rising and falling with labored breathing. Your eyes darted towards the prop knife, watching his fist clenched harder around it.

“If?” He asked, placing his free hand over the marble counter. “Baby, it’s not a question of if.” He leaned towards you. “It’s a question of when.”

Mouth dry, you gulped before slowly smirking. “Yeah, I’d like to see you try.”

“Ooh,” Suguru scoffed, “remember those words when my cock is slamming into your cervix.”

It happened so fast that it made your head spin. Like a predator, Suguru gracefully leaped, sliding over the marble countertop. Your jaw dropped as you stumbled back, staring at Suguru as he towered over you. He didn’t even give you a chance to process what was happening. His large hand grabbed you by the back of your neck. Suddenly, Suguru had you turned around and bent over the counter.

“What was that about seeing me try?” His voice was thick with need. “Well, look at you now, bent over the counter just like the heroine in your nasty. . .little. . .book.”

You knew that your inner thighs were slick with your arousal. “Oh my god.” You squirmed under Geto’s grasp, which made him push down on your neck harder.

“It was hard to imagine my sweet vanilla girlfriend getting off on something so dark and demented.” You jolted as he kicked at your ankles, spreading your legs further apart. “But seeing you like this, squirming, breathing heavily, I can see you aren’t as vanilla as I assumed.” His knee slid between your legs, pressing his knee firmly against your clothed cunt. “Tell me~ are you soaked, you nasty slut?”

“S-Sugu~!” You cried out, rocking your hips back against his knee.

“As pretty as my name sounded coming out of your mouth, it wasn’t an answer to my question.” His left hand slowly grazed under your shirt. “Perhaps I need to be rougher~?”

Before you could fathom that, cool steel grazed over the small of your back. The metal barely touched you, but it was still a sharp contrast against your rapidly heating skin that grounded you. Being grounded made things clearer as you realized that the prop knife Suguru was holding was, in fact, not a prop.

It was real.

“S-Suguru, is that real?”

Upon hearing your words, Suguru pulled the cool blade away. “Yeah, it is.” Suguru stared down at your bent form, waiting for you to respond. Your body had tensed up when he confirmed the steel was, in fact, real. “Are you okay? What color are you feeling? Talk to me, baby.” He wasn’t going to assume just because you hadn’t used your designated safe word or a color that, you were okay. “Babe, I need an answer.”

For just a moment, he assumed that maybe he had crossed a line. Before the doubt could settle in his gut, he watched as your stiff body melted against the kitchen island. Your hips rocked harder against his knee as your cunt throbbed through your leggings. A breath caught in his throat, seeing how you desperately humped his knee. Gritting his teeth, he fought against the urge to rock his hips against you. Despite your body’s actions and the desperation in your movements, he still needed an answer.

“Princess,” he groaned, “color.”

“Green!” You cried out, rocking harder. “Fucking green!”

“Good girl,” he fisted you t-shirt. “I’ll buy you another.”

You cocked an eyebrow, trying to look behind. “Another who—“You were cut off when Suguru stabbed the knife through your shirt. “Holy shit!” You slowed your movements as you listened to Suguru rip our shirt up the middle of your back.

“Oooh~ look at how pretty you are.” The knife slid under the hem of your leggings. “Bent over the counter.” With the jerk of his hand, you listened as your pants became his next victim. “Surrounded by the clothes I ripped off of you.”

He repeated the process, your thong and bra following your leggings, and that littered the floor. The whole situation was erotic; you felt your slick seep out of you, dripping shamelessly to the ground. You’d never been so fucking aroused. You needed Suguru so bad.

“S-Sugu, please!”

“Please, what?” His right hand left your neck, fingers trailing down your back. “Use your words.”

“Please, touch me!”

He hummed, training his fingers lower and lower before for inched over your ass. “Please!” a loud smack flooded the kitchen, followed by a sharp stinging pain over your ass.

“I told you to use your words, angel!” He snarled, pressing his body against yours. The knife pressed firmly against your cheek. “Tell me what you want slut.”

“F-Finger me! Fuck m, please! I need you!!” You cried out in desperation. Pleased with your begging, Suguru slapped your ass again before he wrapped his right arm around your waist, dipping between your legs. His fingers quickly began rubbing quick circles around your throbbing clit. “Fuck!!”

“Fuck, you’re soaking wet.” he increased the speed of his fingers, “it wouldn't take much to make you cum would it?”

He was right; it wouldn't take much to make you cum. “M-More!” You begged as he removed his knee. “Please don't te-AH!” Two thick fingers plunged inside your tight cunt.

“Heh,” he chuckled, “fuck your pussy is clamping down on me!” Suguru immediately set a brutal pace, curling his fingers up, reaching a little further as he rubbed your g-spot. “My dirty princess,” he fucked into your sweet spot over and over and over again. Not once letting up. “Does that feel good? I can feel your cunt twitching.”

“S-So good~! S-Sugu! Ah fuck, fuck!” his thumb reached up, rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts. “I-I’m gonna~!”

The cool steel of the knife pressed harder against your face. “Yeah?” Weakly, you opened your eyes, coming face to face with the Ghostface mask. “You look at me when you cum on my fingers.” His words made the coil in your abdomen tighten. “Eyes on me, angel~ you be a good girl and cum for me.” How could you deny him?

“C-cumming! I'm c-cumm—” A scream left your lips as you came. Your pussy clamped down on Suguru’s fingers as a stream of clear liquid squirted out of you. Feeling your juices hit the ground, spreading under his bare feet, ignited a need in Suguru.

“That's it!” He all but yelled. “Fuckin’ good girl~ so good.” Seeing you squirt always riled him up. Good god, he needed to see it again.

You had thought that he was going to work you slowly through your orgasm like he usually did. But not once did he slow down. Instead, he curled his fingers deeper, his pace not flattering, moving in and out faster and harder. All you could do was lay there, legs shaking as he finger fucked you.

“S-Suguru, w-what?!” you cried out as he growled in your ear.

“Again, I need you to fucking squirt again.”

“B-But Sugu, I want you!” Tears flooded your eyes, the pleasure becoming more intense with each thrust of his fingers.

“I know, I know, baby, give me one more and I fuck you.”

Seeing the tears spilling over your cheeks made Suguru throb harder. “Sugu~! I—” Suguru pressed the knife harder against your cheek.

“I don't remember asking. I’m telling you, you're going to squirt again.”

The chill of his words and the knife had your eyes rolling back. It was so overwhelming, so much pleasure. Your thighs were shaking, knees buckling in as he slammed directly into each g-spot. The coil tightened harder and harder until it snapped.

“That’s it!” Suguru praised, growling as your pussy fluttered around his fingers. “Come on, cum for me, cum on my fingers. Make a mess!” Your screams were music to his ears as he felt you cum. You squirted hard, coating your thighs, his jeans, and the floor.

He pulled his fingers out, glancing at your cum, that was dripping off his fingers. The two of you were breathing heavily, not saying a word. Suguru’s cock was so hard, the tip leaking pre-cum, painting the inside of his boxers. He knew you were enjoying this, but holy shit, he was enjoying it just as much, if not more.

“S-Sugu-”

Hearing your shaking voice brought him back to reality. His right hand gently rubbed up and down your back. “You okay? Need a break?” He watched as you shook your head. Your Y/E/C eyes were glazed over with lust as you pressed your ass back against his hips rubbing slowly against his cock.

“No fuck me, please fuck me. I-I need your cock.”

You listened to him growl deep in his chest. Suddenly, you heard his belt being undone, followed by his zipper. You didn't know what to expect. He seemed so calm and collected. But any average, calm person would not have tossed a knife to the ground. He most definitely would not have grabbed your hips so tight before suddenly slamming his cock deep inside your tight cunt.

The sudden fullness of his cock caused the air to escape your lungs. Your mouth formed an ‘O’ shape as Suguru pulled nearly out before slamming back inside you. Feeling your tight twitching walls hug his cock so snuggly had Suguru feral. He had no control over himself as he pounded your pussy, harder and harder with each thrust. He was so deep his tip gently pressed into your cervix.

“Oh, my fuckin fuck!” You cried out, his left hand gently pressing your head against the counter. “S-Su—gu—-ru!!” each syllable of his name was fucked out of you by his thrusts.

“Yeah~?” His hand left your head. Instead, his long fingers wrapped around your throat, gently squeezing. “Feels good? You like it like this?”

“Y-Yeah!! Deep so fucking deep!!”

“Fuck yeah, I am~ I feel your pussy clamping down. Did you imagine this~? Imagine me fucking you just as rough?” all you could manage to do was nod. “You like your stalker fucking your tight cunt?”

That sweet, smokey tone of his voice, your boyfriend's voice, had you clamping down harder on him. He was right; you did want this, and you fantasized about asking him to do precisely this. And he had fulfilled your fantasy, going above and beyond to make it perfect. He was perfect, so fucking good to you.

“Sugu~ Suguru~”

“Yeah? Tell me what you want~? Faster? Harder?” When you shook your head, he slowed his thrusts just a tad bit. “No~? What do you need.” His hand squeezed harder around your throat, cutting some of your air off.

You almost told him to keep going when he choked you like that. With a shaky moan, you turned, staring into the eyes of the Ghostface mask. “I-I want a kiss.” Out of all the things he had expected you to say, that wasn't one of them. But Get Suguru wasn't the kind of man to deny Y/L/N Y/N.

A whimper sounded from deep in your throat as Suguru gently pulled out. His hand slid down your curves, turning you around to face him. In the dying twilight light, you stared at the sweat beading against his skin, slowly running down his ab’s. Trailing your eyes up, his skin was illuminated by the soft pink and lilac tones from outside. After taking in his body, your Y/E/C landed on the mask.

His hand left your hip, tugging the mask off his head. Suguru’s dark eyes were glazed over with love and desire. His dark bun was messy; his bangs were sticking to his face by the sheen of sweat beading on his forehead. He was such a stunning man. And he was yours.

Tossing the mask to the side, Suguru’s hands grabbed your hips, placing you on the counter. As soon as you were settled, his lips slammed against yours in a heated kiss. One that made your toes curl as you matched his pace, kissing back with the same enthusiasm and force. It was the kind of kiss that made you moan into his mouth as he gently pulled you towards the edge, his free hand easing his hot cock back inside your pussy.

“Suguru.” You moaned against his mouth, allowing his tongue to slip inside. “Mhmm.”

Your tongues massaged each other in a slow sensual kiss as he fucked you deeply. It was so good. He tasted good, felt good, god, he smelt so good. Everything about this night was good.

“Fuck, Y/N-“ he growled, pulling away, “I love you. You feel so good, so perfect. You’re such a good girl.” His words made your heart race as you kissed him again.

“Love you too~ so much, thank you for this~” Your praises had him groaning deeply into your mouth. His thrusts increased in speed and power as he kissed you like you were the only thing keeping him alive.

Suguru slid his hand down between your conjoined bodies, rubbing your clit in fast circles. “Cum for me, Y/N, milk my cock, baby~ I wanna cum inside you.” Arching your back, a string of moans erupted from your mouth as you wrapped your legs around his waist. “Y/N fuck, yes, just like that~”

“I'm gonna cum!” you cried out against his mouth. “Sugu, I'm cumming baby~ c-cu—” Your warning was cut off by a scream as your walls clamped down on his cock, milking him.

“Fuck~! Fuck! You're so tight~ tighter than ever.” Suguru grunted, kissing and nipping at your neck as he bit down on your skin. “Focus on my cock~ feel me~ feel it~ Fuck! I'm cumming!” Pulling you tighter against him, Suguru’s thrusts became messy before you felt his cock throb hard. Ropes of hot cum filled your pussy, and he kept thrusting, fucking it deep inside you as he rode the waves of both your orgasms.

By the time he stopped, the sun was long gone, and the entire apartment was enveloped in darkness. Not that either of you cared. Nothing mattered as you two basked in the afterglow. Your heart rates and breathing went from ragged and fast-paced to shallow and calm. The entire time you came down, Suguru had you firmly pressed against his bare chest. He was holding you as close as he could as you both recovered.

Hours seemed to pass before Suguru slowly lifted you off the counter. You rested your head against his shoulder as he carried you to the bedroom, gently laying you on the bed. Without a word, Suguru left the room and returned with a bottle of water and a warm rag. He cleaned you up, his eyes occasionally meeting yours as he smiled fondly.

Your cheeks burned as you returned his loving smile. “Drink some water. I'll be right back,” he said, handing the bottle to you before heading back to the kitchen.

He was gone for several minutes before he returned. “Where did you go?” You asked, watching as he came back in just in his boxers.

“I wanted to clean up real quick,” he responded, crawling into bed and wrapping his toned arms around you. “Tossed my stuff in the washer, yours in the trash.”

“Damn,” you giggle, “I loved that shirt.” Suguru chuckled, pulling you tighter against him.

“Sorry, I'll buy you another.”

“Nah, it's okay.” you hummed, “it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.” You turned to face him. “Thank you again, that was so much fun.”

“Yeah, it was.” Suguru gently cupped your face in his hand. “I love you very much.”

“I love you too.”

He gently pressed a kiss against your lips. He was holding you firmly again at him. This evening was the perfect way to end a week. Fantastic sex snuggling your boyfriend, you couldn't ask for a more ideal night—a night where your fantasy had come true.

“So,” Suguru started, “I bought you the rest of the series of Leo’s Throne. We need to reenact some more scenes, I think.”

Pulling back, you couldn't stop the laughter rising in your chest. “Baby, seriously? Did you buy them for me or yourself?” you cocked an eyebrow as your boyfriend's cheeks flushed.

“What a silly question,” he pulled you on top of him, “I bought them for us!”

“You read the whole book, didn't you?”

“. . .”

“Oh my god, you did.”

“. . .I will say the ending had me running to the bookstore this morning. To have the hero—” You clamped your hand over his mouth.

“No spoilers!”

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