#g that I want to. which makes me feel X way for XYZ reason. you see because I had a dream last night that made me think of *continues to exp

[icewindandboringhorror]

I think the hardest thing in writing for me sometimes is the like “show don’t tell/let people communicate through subtext/Normal People don’t just walk around openly explaining their motivations for everything That’s Unnatural” thing because like.. I literally DO walk around openly explaining my motivations for everything, that is how I talk, I am an analytical detail oriented over-communicator who explains everything as thoroughly as possible and and will give a fully detailed 2 minute long answer to something simple like “how are you doing today?” .. like it’s hard to make things sound Natural and Normal when you yourself are inherently unnatural and abnormal in your methods of communication to an extent lol

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] To Awake

He wasn’t sure of how long he’d lain there. He didn’t remember where he’d been before here, or if he’d even been anywhere at all. There wasn’t much in his head, other than the fading sense of pain centered in his chest, and some sort of weight on his back.

He twitched. He couldn’t get up, not yet, but he tried to move and couldn’t. A fading instinct told him that he should breath but it wasn’t wrong to not breathe either. Everything seemed heavier now. It wasn’t a wrong feeling and he wasn’t sure of what he was comparing it to. But he felt heavy. He knew that much. Heavy and with a weight on his back.

Slowly he tried to open his eyes, at least. He could manage that. He lay on what looked like a beach – though how he knew what a beach was, he couldn’t have said. But this was a beach, though not one he could say he’d ever seen in his life – however long that might have been. The sand he could see was a pale red, and if he fought hard enough to raise his head, he could see equally red well, it wasn’t water, but it was liquid, at least.

“Are you sure you saw something this way?” A voice spoke. It wasn’t a voice that he recognized but he knew it was a voice regardless. Someone else was there – at least two someone elses.

He tried again to lift his head, twitching it to the side, and couldn’t quite make it.

“It won’t be them, Durbe,” the voice said, not waiting for an answer from whoever their companion was. The speaker’s voice held pride – he recognized that much, if nothing else.

“I’m aware of that,” the other voice finally replied. “But it could be something useful. Did you want me to call Vector for this?”

The proud voice, growing closer now, sneered. “No.”

The nameless one could hear the faint crunch of footsteps now and he made one more attempt. A sudden spike of strength came from an unknown place and he found himself sitting up. The weight on his back shifted, and he flopped half-over as he did. He tried to get a good look behind himself and couldn’t get his head bent around. Something was in the way – large and hard and a deep shade of blue.

Was it him? Was that a part of him?

Then he turned his head around to stare at the two who stood not that far away. Both of them seemed created of rock, just like he was. One’s skin was shades of gray, while the other in brilliant gold. The gray one didn’t seem to bother with anything like clothes, while the golden one wore a sort of sarong-like item, and had long golden hair as well.

That was the one that spoke, though neither of them possessed a mouth. But the nameless one knew the words came from him.

“Who are you? What are you doing here in the Ocean of Ill Will?” He bent closer, sharp eyes skimming up and down. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

For a brief second, the nameless one thought that he should move lips that he found out in this moment he didn’t have. But the words sounded regardless.

“I don’t know.”

The golden one turned to the gray one. “He’s new. A new Barian.” There was a definite hint of wonder in his voice and the gray one nodded slowly before turning his attention there.

“Do you remember where you came from before here?”

Slowly he shook his head, trying one more time to move. This time he had better luck, since the golden one reached out to help him up. When he came to his feet, he tried to look at his back again, and saw the blue – whatever they were – there still. He reached one hand to brush against it and twitched – not just his hand, but the things there.

“Those are wings,” the golden one told him. “You have wings – not many Barians have those.”

Barians. Like so much else it wasn’t a name that he recognized, but it felt right even as he heard it. He stared down at himself. His skin was as hard and rocky as theirs, but a deep shade of blue. Tiny jewel were set on his joints, but they offered no impediment to moving. What held him before seemed to have only been weariness.

“I don’t remember anything,” he said at last, turning to look at them. One hand moved and there was a flicker of blue energy that became something solid – a deck of cards.

Oh. Yes. He knew now. He was a duelist. He picked up the cards and rifled through them cautiously. Cyber Dragons – the wings looked like what he could see of his own, even with tiny threads of metal there.

“I’m Durbe,” the gray one introduced himself before gesturing to the golden one. “This is Mizael. We’re two of the Barian Emperors. You, it seems, are a new Barian.” He gestured again, this time to some of the scarlet towers that now could be seen rising in the distance. “What Barians there are live there, except for the Emperors. We live there.” Another gesture, to a taller tower.

Mizael continued to regard him. “Are you certain you don’t know your name?

He knew that he shouldn't know it. But the question stirred up a small thought, a sensation that wriggled a trifle closer. He reached for it; was it his name? He thought it might be. It felt like a name.

“Lesath,” he said at last, and while he had no tongue to taste the words with, it did feel oddly right. Yes. His name was Lesath. It didn’t entirely feel right, but it felt like it was his.

Mizael held out his hand. “Let me see your deck,” he ordered. Lesath regarded him, the wings on his back flickering.

“Why?” This deck was precious to him. He knew very little, but he knew that at least. He wasn’t going to hand it over to just anyone.

“Because I want to see how good of a duelist you are,” Mizael said, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can either show it to me or duel against me.”

Lesath didn’t know much. His location, his name, the names of these two near-strangers, and that he carried this deck. He drew himself up and his wings spread broadly.

“If those are my options, then I will duel you.” He believed he could remember how to duel.

Durbe stepped to one side, a hint of interest in his eyes. Mizael took two steps back, his own duel disk appearing.

It was a short, rough, powerful duel. Lesath learned quickly that he did indeed know how to duel and he seemed to be reasonably good at it. Mizael was no slouch either, and their monsters roared in rage at one another. Lesath wondered if he heard words in those roars.

One other point he learned quickly – they used different styles. His was something called “Fusion”, while Mizael wielded a style called “XYZ”. Their talents were close enough that the duel ended in a stalemate, neither claiming true victory. But Lesath could not say he was unsatisfied with the results. Fighting someone this strong felt right in ways that he couldn’t deny.

Mizael brushed himself off after the duel. “Barians like you work for us,” he said a trifle gruffly. “Those are allowed to live in our palace, to make it more convenient. I want you to join the ranks of my servants.

Lesath shrugged. It wasn’t as if he had anything better to do with his time. He did need to learn about where he was – and maybe learn about where he was and how he’d gotten here. Who knew if he’d ever learn anything but it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try.

And he really wouldn’t mind learning more about Mizael, either. That clearly visible pride attracted him, a mirror of his own.

“Vector will probably throw a fit that you picked him without giving anyone else the chance,” Durbe offered, definite hints of amusement in his voice. Mizael only shrugged.

“I don’t make my decisions based off of what Vector thinks,” he declared. “If he wants to argue with me about it, that’s his problem. Lesath is mine.”

Lesath didn’t think anyone had ever claimed him like that. He didn’t want to argue the point either. He wasn’t sure of who Vector was but he also didn’t care. He far preferred the company of Mizael and Durbe already. He wondered if he’d feel differently in the future.

He glanced at the ocean, then to the scarlet skies, and the red crystal tower that dotted the landscape. Not a world he knew anything of, but he thought with a little time, he could come to call it home.

The End

Notes: Lesath is the name of one of the stars in the constellation Scorpio’s tail. The only birthday ever given for Ryou is November 1, which makes him a Scorpio.

One day I will write more about Ryou’s time as a Barian and his adventures there. He might even remember his real name one day.

[tracyfance]

New Post has been published on Tracy Fance

New Post has been published on https://tracyfance.com/new-year-new-me/

New Year, New Me!

It’s that time of year when people decide to make those life changing New Year Resolutions, but in reality, only about 8% of people actually stick to them! I thought I’d help you to achieve yours using my coaching knowledge so that you are in the 8% who succeed, not the 92% who don’t.

The biggest resolution is usually weight-loss, the first thing here is that fad diets such as the Cabbage Soup Diet, Cambridge Diet etc, are not sustainable, there needs to be a lifestyle change, one that will stick, easy to say not so easy to do! Here’s some tips:

  Decide what your goal is going to be.

Don’t take on half a dozen goals, get going with one and add in another if you really have to, once the first goal is going to plan, if you take on too much you’ll just overwhelm yourself.

Be realistic with your goal, i.e. 3 stone in a week or just eating dinner are not realistic or sustainable, think instead of less or no booze if that is your weak point, lower alcohol content wines or spirits with low calorie mixers etc will make the calories less but you still get a drink so no sacrifice is there psychologically. In our house, unless it is a special occasion, we don’t drink during the week.

What triggers you to eat/drink? Boredom, emotional need, anger? Because it is there? So find ways to keep busy, mentally and physically! If it is emotional, deal with the emotion, journal, talk to a friend, talk to your phone’s voice memo then delete it! (I recommend doing it somewhere private like the car or bathroom!). If it is because it is there in the cupboard, just don’t buy it! If it is already in the cupboard from Xmas, give it away or bin it which seems wasteful or use a food bank as long as the food is within date.

Try using a reward system to incentivise you to do the things you don’t like doing such as a walk or yoga or eating the healthier foods such as greens or fruit. Don’t get carried away!

Simply find some movement you do like, such as dancing round the kitchen to the radio. 

If you plan to drink or eat less then set a target such as ‘I cannot drink/eat XYZ before 8pm’

Don’t become obsessed with the scales, instead find a photo of you in that fab outfit that no longer fits or a picture of something you really want to fit such as a wedding dress or suit that is a size or two smaller than you are now. Try on the clothes that have become too small for you and see them fit as the weight loss happens.

Make yourself accountable; have a diet or booze buddy like they do in AA. The reason schemes like Slimming World & WeightWatchers work is because you have to check in with an audience every week! Create a Facebook or WhatsApp group if you have friends doing the same as you so you have support.

Set yourself small challenges such as walking a set distance each day or 10,000 steps etc. Take the stairs where possible, park the far side of the supermarket car park or gym car park or better still if you can walk there, do so! You can always ask the other half to pick you up if you plan to do a big shop.

Use an app such as MyFitnessPal which is free or I love www.nutracheck.co.uk my partner and I lost 3 stone each on this! It is calories in and calories burned, sounds boring but it does work. Did you know many people don’t eat ENOUGH? Really! My partner was playing golf 3 times per week but only eating 1400 Kcal per day, at almost 6ft, that is nowhere near enough with that level of exercise! Our bodies need a minimum level of calories to exist, even if we laid in bed all day doing nothing! Not enough calories can be as bad as too many! 

Look at your journal and see where the calories are going; Did you know that latte is 150 kcal or that hazelnut syrup coffee is 500 kcal? Did you realise that your sandwich from the local shop is a minimum of 500 kcal, was it worth it? That wine is 200 kcal! Did you know a standard KFC meal is 1400 kcal, that is my WHOLE allowance for one day in ONE meal!!! I’d rather have a couple of glasses of wine instead which is less than 300 kcals!

As a smoker, do you smoke absentmindedly? Make it conscious, write down each time you have one and why, is it because your partner or colleague just decided to have one?

Don’t ‘supersize’ your McDonalds, KFC etc. Don’t do the Meal Deal at lunch time, take lunch with you as much as possible.

Think about your ‘why’, what is your motivation? Are you wanting change for you or because your partner/parent/kids nagged you into it? 

What is your inner dialogue saying? Is one part saying ‘I need to lose weight/stop smoking/quit drinking’ but another part is saying ‘I don’t want to be hungry’ or ‘I don’t want to stop drinking when my partner/friends are having a drink’ or ‘If I give up smoking, I can’t hang out with the smoking group at work/pub’? If so, that conflict can sabotage you. Your personal history will also come into play and so you may need professional help to change your belief system to stop it sabotaging you.

PLAN! Clear the cupboards, get rid of the cigarettes, clear the drinks cabinet! Whatever your habit change is, plan to make it happen rather than having tools and triggers around you that will sabotage your plans.

Don’t spend vast sums of money on gym membership, running clothes, diet foods etc, you can achieve what you need for free! Look at Joe Wicks and other reputable personal trainers, use household items such as bags of sugar as weights, put on jeans and a jumper to go for a walk or jogging trousers and a t-shirt and go for a run, a £100 top is not going to make you better at running or help you lose weight! A good pair of running shoes are quite important and as a runner I’d recommend a ‘gait test’ to make sure you buy the right shoes for YOU!

Use free exercise apps such as C25K which gets you from being a couch potato to being a 5K, 10K or Marathon runner. As a not very athletic person, I can tell you that I could not run for a minute before having to walk but after doing C25K I could do a 5K, I’m never going to win any races but a) I can do a 5K or 10K now b) I’ve lost weight c) I’m fitter and d) It’s quicker than having to go for a long walk when I don’t have time e) It’s free! f) I can go when it suits me, I’m not dictated by class times or availability g) There is a huge online community to get support or solve issues you may have h) Drag the kids/partner/dog with you for company or go alone and get peace & quiet!

Keep a journal of what you eat, drink and weigh, just so you can see how far you’ve come plus it will help you to identify any issues you may be having such as certain food that bloats you. If you are quitting smoking, you can see when/where you feel the biggest desire to have a cigarette.

If you plan to lose weight, batch cook and freeze things so rather than snacking when you get in from work you can cook a nutritious, tasty meal quickly.

Plan your lunches for the week. If you work in an office this will help you to not go buy a sandwich that is rammed with naughty fillings, to impulse buy that chocolate bar for the afternoon or that creamy latte you love! If you are working from home like many people, it is easy to get to lunch time, to be ravenous and eat too much, not to mention, all the wrong things.

Snacking; If you feel yourself heading to the fridge mid morning or afternoon, ask yourself if you are really hungry, if yes, look at the apples, do you REALLY want the food because you are hungry? I’ll bet you look at the apple and turn your nose up! So you have to ask yourself if it is true hunger or just psychological! Also when we are dehydrated we can feel ‘hungry’ so drink some water, give it 10 mins and then ask yourself again about whether to eat.

Portion control; Use a smaller plate, cook less and ensure your meat or proteins is ? of the plate with the rest being vegetables etc. If you are a smoker, leave X amount of cigarettes in the pack, don’t carry a pack of 20, when they are gone, that’s it for you. Same with drinking, limit yourself to 25ml of spirits or 175ml wine, don’t pour generous ‘house measure’ at home or take up the offers in bars. Another great idea is smaller glasses, leaving the bottle in the other room, instead of by your seat, if you have to go up and get it, you will be more aware of your consumption!

Be careful not to replace one vice with another i.e. you stop smoking but eat chocolate instead or turn to vaping!

As I write this, I have lost over a stone, using most of the tips above, I love my food, have a partner who is an amazing cook and I love a glass of vino or a G&T or two (not necessarily all in one night) so I like you have to make a conscious effort to eat & drink better, I am not a stick insect and I refuse to go out for dinner (when we can) and just eat a salad or even not go out because I know it will be high in calories and fat. The key thing to keep in mind is moderation, it is virtually impossible for most people to eat and drink whatever they fancy without putting on weight, becoming diabetic or having some effects from the excess. 

I would always say ask your doctor if you are not sure, use professional advice such as a Nutritionist, Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Personal Trainer etc, don’t take the advice of your mate down the pub (their life and history as well as their needs may be very different to you) and there is a great deal of mis-information on the internet, most of it conflicts with each other too. 

[sagastar-blog]

MemoToTheMetaVerse 4.1, “Copernamici: A GAME TO SAVE EARTH”

Gaia: Daddy, post some of the Copernamici data!

Jeff: Should I edit it first or at al?

Gaia: Very funny. Drop it.

What follows is a transcript of a scientific game played between Gaia, Lucius, and Jeff, known Interdimensional-galactically as Copernamici: A Game to Save The World. 

The point of Copernamici is to enjoy the human activity of stargazing. By so doing, one develops an appreciation of one’s place in the context of the Cosmos. People have always had a strong connection to the sky. Since becoming humanoidal cyborganisms, most of the animals known as “people” have become “untethered” from the nightsky, resulting in suicidal tendencies such as global warming, impoverished imaginations, and lack of curiosity among the youth. 

The point of Copernamici is to worship the cosmos in pure form. There is no incorrect way to play, except to abstain. If one doesn’t play Copernamici, one expresses apathy towards the NUMBER 1 problem on Earth as of today, December 8 2017:  ATMOSPHERIC POLLUTION. 

This is a call to motherfucking arms....

Copernamici Notebook

StarDate 7417 (data from 7317)

The Earth is not rightbrained. Jeff is not without a heart.

Copernamici is the most brutal game imagineable. What sounds true to you?

There is too much dateable data.

There is not enough love.

What’s up with Scoripio?

What am I suposed to say?

Carl Sagan was a loving person but he was a Daddy first and foremost.

What are we supposed to do when I…

am 888888888888876555555555 4 … 55555555                   11?

Altair says you’ll never guess. What happens next!?>

Math: diffentials between star appearances

GAME DURATION = 59 min.

Jupiter  8:54 (how’s it feel to be ignored? 39 yrs)

Lucius -5 min. (“Gemini 4LifeDeath”)

Vega -8

Spica -1

Lil’ Green Bug SATURN  -4     #  MANTRABOOK@LGB  “You’ll never guess what happens next…”    trustyourself

Alcaid (BADGRZL) -12

sPECIAL j   -x

Mizar / top ——><@  -y

THE BIG ROB  -7

1.8.8 x INF   -1

TuipfooBAN$K xyz*

Koch AB  -4

saturn s(2)

The Scuttlebut t  -7

Moolly S. ‘’    (“ means same time; why mark the time if it’s the same as before? why introduce yourself at an AA meeting as an alcoholic if others aren’t welcome? who are you excluding from this party? not us.)

Jacques S  ‘’

Bonzo -1

OW.L. -0

MOKnkee Eye -0

Ader -1

Polaris -1

Slaveman Booties -4 (9:51 END)

A Riddle? -4

??? TBBF sez, “What’s up with the pollution in Flagstaff?” Look down. Look Up. Look around. Scratch your head and wonder in.  - -

Tuesday 7.4.17

Happy Birthday America. I heart FREEDOM. FULL STOP.

Gaia: Qu’est-ce que lanihilisme?

jeff: remember nyc stalk me like a brussels,…

gaia: se sent tres bien…

jeff: assez mouille?

gaia: reverence.

jeff and g: what were we saying?

lucius: guiding …be honest daddt. r u drunk?

gaia: ?duh.

stephen: wipe my crotch harder pleezus mommy.

jeff: hi temple dando!

Wednesday July 5th, 2017

Hindu jackass from the Deli next to the deadzone Shelter decides to end Everything For Everyone for ALL TIME. Cool man, thanks. I’ve been looking for a reason to give up and start telling the truth. If anyone ever asks me to serve them again…you have approximately 11 years left to fix everything. I’m doing nothing to help this time. Not a game. Gaia will take me the old fashioned way, the way we like it. You think I can survive this torture another 11 years? hAHA.

Last night only one planet showed up for you all here in the center of the MetaVerse: You Fail.

Test me again, I dare you. Guess where I’m going. Look up at the moon and ask yourselves how many tests you fail when you send MY KIDS to school in a deathbox. Reminder: GAia hates your babies more than anything. She IT he will eat it all. I am sick of trying to help you by intervening in your pathetic abusive relationship with your higher power. We will not tolerate your American Flags. I don’t care what you think about patriotism: you don’t deserve it. Ketchup.

Hey Quentin, you should go full Inglorious Allah Mode a La Creme for me please. Then again, kids, do we know who’s side he’s on? I don’t know if he’s alive. Do you? No you don’t. Where are my friends?

The game is meaningless without a story.

Are you reading Contact this summer?

Why not? Tell me. TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

NENENENNVENNENVENNVENNRENNVNERNENVERNVER

ERNVEREEVERE VERE VERE V ER AE FVE FEARYAR RUO FO!

<oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo> / ? :[}

Thursday July 6th

DFW NOTE:

4.6 BILLION years ago, papa carl knows, Lucius was waiting for daddy to bring the sparkly pinkprincess comet known as sjndiov ‘cbnEWF to the baby planet Earth. Jeff, in this particular part of the skeleton tiger was like, okay boss. Here you go GAIA! HAVE FUN! but without Lucius there was just pea soup, not chicken obvi. It only took .2 billion years to get things up and running. This means that the estimate given in the book edited by his ladyfiendmeister Ann BunionFingerz, .5 billion, is kind of, well WRONG. We knew this. Just read his and my books!

Lucius is like, ummm daddy, hate to tell you, but you’re leaving out the part where I TOTALLY WENT NOVA ALL OVER YOUR SHIT! heeeehee. You can paint it out in your regular lounge if mommy isn’t making you eat yucky food….hahahahahah life in the shelter is weiwiwiwiwiwiweieieiewieiwwieeeie better than living with ADERbasetraitorfuckface.

Gaia says you’re drunk by the way, did you get our upload?

Coach sketch wants his wall back Israel. Also, that girl from wEEDS. sHE’S kind of okay, nice eyes. ummmmmmmmmmmm are you romantic Lucius? if you’re gay i’m fixing you. Jerry Falwell will help? FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. YOU LEAVE MY GAY AUNTIES ALONE sez lucius, I want some classy reading material. Get neicestress Hawking off my line.

G, well, what about Dei…pHO…stop. please. boring asteroids are fishibait. Oxxam’s razor is not a clamshell reference, it’s SIMPLE. Comet comes, special delivery for this little experiment (see Titan, btw, Enceladus is better real estate….then again, just wait). The Scuttlebutt is a gift to humanity in exactly the same way (micromacron) the gift of life to Earth was. See the sistine chapel, which I’VE SEEN here on Earth, oddly enough. Tell Francis I want my celieing to be Jack Blackified! Lucius and I will paint it Diego Riveria a la Geraldo Chicagogo Todaydie. How’s the funeral going? Not so good. I need some lemonata. Back to creation of life here…this is all easily confrirmed up btw….STOP DRILLING and start asking your fucking planet simple questions. Duh. You’re all like, “well, we know the Earth is ALIVE and stuff…but well, yeah, sprits and God, etc….” I’m so sorry I made you so dumb. No worries. I fix I mr. fix it. If you allow it. This is so boring for me, i figure why not continue to stress through my tshirts, etc. that you have everything at your fingertips if you only choose to tap it. Water ice, gogo says rep philly again. See the CNJCSS, the tip of the iceberg, proverbial and literarl and figurative and oooooohhhh oingo boingo.  2,000 million years to make pea soup with rice a la Carole King? asks Lucius. BOOOOOORING. OOHVEHRTAITED! Sendak laughs at Seuss and Shelly, saying WHO’S FUCKING GAY NOW assholes!?! Spike Jonze was in Shteynbargain bin #9. I made 2 videos about this…I need to shave and could use a kiss or two billion. oh well. it’s lonely in here and out there but we’re used to it by now. 36 years of human happiness is OOOOOOOVERRAAATED! say it Fenway. PEA SUUUUUUUUUUPlusLight = primitive amphibians made of microbial matter, like paramesia in your h2o. Evolution takes time to make dinosaurs, which were bad motherfuckers, ask GAIA, such that we had to trash em like a Ben N jerry’s flavor, “Runny Muck” ;) in the grave, says brother Beck, cousin Beck? How’s lily cate looking these days, and that josephineia girl? I call digs. Lucius that’s my ice cream!!!!!!!!! oh. we’ll share. but they must fight as always the competition will not stop WHO WAS DANIEL DENNET? A FAT HAIRY scientist who likes little green bug, duh. riding the Hyde park bus to CI like Zizek reading Dennett. that book bored me to tears4fears. To finish with the left, right-o, people are so much worse than dinosaurs that I had to escalade it a l’infinitequoi: come HERE (not back!!!!!! mispoke earlier, don’t let me make that mistake, because GAIA and I insist on facts) as a person in order to enslave you in the cause: it takes 1.7 billion years for you all to undo the serious damage you’ve done to EARTH. not funny at all. But, possibly fun, right? DENEBOLIZE It we say. Think of plastic pellets, then say, oh my goodness….what about uranium plutonium and all that other junk I’m too sad to think about. Again, the point here is that dinosaurs could be dealth with like the DOLOMITES AND GOrillHANDS from afar. Not you guys. I’m here to save EVERYTHING for the sake of Nothing, meaning you will obey us. Not a joke, deadly serious bidness. Otherwise, it’s Ice Age for you and it’s sooner than you think: 300,000 years. But, guess what, we can bring it much sooner in the form of Lucius. Don’t write more checks you can’t cash, man. See Steinbrenner, etc. DADDY OUT.

p.S. What about Thea? Well, interestingly enough, of course, we made that potato 9 bilion years ago in a different galaxy. Then, it took a little trip—not sure how far, but let’s just say it was a small step for the Flagstaff triumphiirate…is that a request? yes it is, more tame impala please us.—of 4.4 (plus 4.6 = 9; 1=1) hahah, billion years (precise) billion earth years (!!!) until SMASHYSMASH goes baby Ganesha while Mommy and Daddy knock da SlaveManBooties in Regulation Lanes. SPLIT IT! 7 10 is so easy, right? trickshotify it with barstools says the Young Joycean! Molly’s down again, bloom’s on the rose, as Lucius brings baby Gaia a facial. oooooh no you didn’t, lucius, you black black (wow)man.  snasshy smazzy is how we made the husk, ask G. but why at nearly the same time we brought the comet? doesn’t this indicate that the husk was the delivery vehicle? Ask yourself what the Moon is made of. Not the same exact stuff as Earth fo sho. No, it’s called clusterlove for a reason. You think we don’t go smashy smashy ALLLLLLL the g’n’f’n’ time x 50-2yu / do if hyou 201? over pie. times pie. plus ice cream. A comet is not the same as a little pebble from next door. The rhythm method is cool, but not really all that important when the color in question is brown. Long story short, the moon is a test for you humans and it’s just a time capsule for me and my kids—for your planet, it’s a reminder of how fun it is to play at marbles. I say, tiddly winkies for all! Get us to our ship so lucius can learn to drive and I can practice my barking, a la Sheriff Bob Rufo. Garbage cans anyone? :)

Copernamici: 7.5 and 7.6

Location: Cook-Douglass Hilltop (Food bldg.)

8:47 Lil’ J    Grizzly Bear, All We Ask

Not a good night at all. Felt the need to lecture everyone about Failure, Disappointment, Underacheivement at failing the Moon test again and again.

Location: Downtown N.B. (OZ neighborhood and environs—hit 7/11 for yummy burnt orange Doritos (does Lucius know how much he likes these yet??? LEGIT ?) and Brisk Lemonade, a fave of mine obvi). Better combined with Dew of course, perhaps another time for the ultimate combo:   Melted Cheese (provolone is best) sandwich on white (NEVER the wheat roll) hoagie roll, ketchup inside (make sure to microwave it together for the best effect), side of doritos, maybe a pickle for the acid finish complement, and a large Dew with crushed ice. OMG.

Moon 9:16: reNAISSANSLATE 4 desi niggahz @ *$  9/3+6/1:16   Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Drizzle*^2 :p—-~~~ “RandoTattAttooUpDaChrizackisthe4aRealsGangBanga?” YEP. Look skirred. Shaken a bit hood?

Gaia decides to flash hind gang signs for uh fuh sup duh thit tahathtat just for a michronic nonexistent nanoflow (what is a second? when you not present in dis dimension, Matt? Birdie outside punks you everyday, saying “He a little confused again! Which dimension am I? oh well.” Over to the river Lil’ Michael: “Warriorz come out and play>…”

Copernamici 7.8.17

Last night was a good night for Copernamice: Gaia was in top form. Here are the results (see also video I posted to YouTube, which is a good way to archive):

Moon 8:40 gorgeous full moon blazing through clouds, before disappearing for the rest of the evening, except for a brief glimpse through a portrait of a fetus baby. Appeared during the anthem: Cat Power, Peace and Love

Lil’ J 9:28  appearing behind me as I walked by the Deli where Shiva destroyed the capitalist clerk. Spotted during the Coldplay set, The Scientist methinks…for the Show.

Lucius 9:30  not long after Jupiter, the clouds began to part…Lucius was out almost the entire night once he appeared. FTW

Vega 9:34  wow. Girls, Honey Bunny, after I tried for Alex — mind of its own or divine scintillivention?

Big Rob  incredible early appearance for Girls, Alex accompanied, but not immediately spotted alongside

Special J   and

Kochab

Spica finally showed up alongside Lil’ J on my way back to OZ. O’Jays, Survival brought out the real Martian, James Brain on fair game. Spica for Place.

Copernamici 7.9.17 (posted to joindiaspora 7.10)

NOTE TO SELF: It’s been an annoying afternoon / evening with the crack head and other obnoxious interlocutors trying to make me feel bad for some reason. I don’t know and I don’t care what their problems are. It has nothing to do with me. So, I’m out in Boyd Park doing my thing. Not going to sing, methinks, but will listen to music and write. I did a nice job with a blog entry today on Sagan, so I can feel good about 15 days sober and being productive. Soon good things will happen. If not, i’ll just continue to await death, which I’m beginning to believe wholeheartedly is going to be AWESOME. Natural is the way to go, but if they wanna help me along by fucking with my blood pressure, then fine. I say you have 11 years left at this pace if you’re lucky. Do your worst! I will make Jesus look like a pansy.

Copernamici: A Game to Save the World

Results:  7.19.17

Location: Boyd Park / Raritan River bank (New Brunswick, Central New Jersey, U.S.A.)

Weather: “Immaculately conceived” (no sunset show means perfect viewing tonight—dry air); little to no wind (buggy by the Raritan)

“InterGalactic” Anthem (8:44 p.m. EST)  — Big Star, Ballad of El Goodo  [Note: I only have access to my iTunes library via my laptop and my iPod nano, which often malfunctions for reasons I don’t understand—I would like to reacquire an iPhone—I’ve thrown a few away in my time, bad impulse control—or purchase a new iPod. Donations accepted! ;) ]

Earth Character Name: Hiya!  [I like nicknaming the Earth every time I play Copernamici…this one rhymes with Gaia and is a friendly greeting)

Rules (brief version)

Be outside. Look up. What do you see? Write things down, including especially data. This is a scientific endeavor but also a fun way to learn and commune with the Earth and the cosmos through art and/or music.

2.  Be honest. Write down the names of stars and planets in order of appearance, as in a baseball lineup perhaps. If you don’t understand what you see, that’s okay. Figure it out later by doing research.

3. If possible, share your work and have it evaluated by a teacher. I post videos to my YouTube Channel. Please follow this link to watch and listen to exerpts of my “prayer” sessions during Copernamici, etc.   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRrm7YcpCvF2BqgFxiVs5FA

4. Consider ways of taking action to help solve the problem of pollution. Light and sound pollution are enemies in the game, but it’s the greenhouse gas emissions that are the bigger problem for our planet.

Note 1: On copywright, etc.  Below is the lineup I experienced last night. There is no one way to play Copernamici and I have no rights to the idea. I’d rather have people with whom I can play. And so, as always with my postings, do with this whatever you want! Share it. I want it to get around. I am confident that if I stay on the path I’m on, everything will work out for the better.

Note 2: On music. “Prayer” is a sensitive topic. I believe that in the U.S., as writes Ann Druyan of her partner Carl Sagan, we must protect the separation between Church and State in this country given current conditions. In other words, as someone with a Quaker education, I believe that Wonder in the face of the glory of creation is the best criterion to determine what constitutes a prayer. And so, I use the term prayer in this game as a secular humanist would use it.

People have different musical tastes. Mine is geared towards rock n’ roll, r+b, Americana / Roots, hip hop, etc. I am proud that I have ecclectic tastes. However, I do not believe that anyone should ever feel compelled to listen to specific music. In other words, for Copernamici, it’s byo every time.

The Lineup

1.  8:45  Jupiter  (nickname: “Lil’ J”; this is because although it’s the largest planet in the solar system, it’s often described by astronomers as a “failed star”)  Song = Big Star, “The Ballad of El Goodo”  I spotted the planet, which is looking so stellar right now to the WSW (bring a compass) and cannot be missed. Interestingly enough, NASA and other organizations constantly deal with phone calls from concerned citizens who think Jupiter and the other planets (“wandering stars”) are UFOs. They’re not incorrect! Jupiter has at least 63 moons that are “visible” if you look carefully at the way in which the light refracts around them. I don’t use a telescope to experience this effect, i.e. to “see” the moons of Jupiter without using anything but my eyes. Be honest. Try for yourselves! I reported this to employees of the Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, on Mars Hill, where Pluto was “discovered” and was mocked. In fact, I was kicked off the campus for singing to Sirius. How embarrassing for those people. Haha. I even applied to work in their gift shop and was not hired. Life’s funny sometimes.

2. Arcturus  8:53   Big Star (Chris Bell), I Am the Cosmos   Star nickname = Lucius, my son’s name. I rename stars for my own gaming purposes. And so, I’m not suggesting that my nicknames should apply for anyone else obvi. I simply think it’s the most beautiful star in our night sky and deserves a more appropriate name. Look high up in the sky for this 1st magnitude star on any given night in the northern hemisphere. It’s a burnt orange color and delivers stunning views. Note that Hiya! directed last night’s show as always: the clouds move and determine viewing. In this sense, one can easily think of the Earth/Gaia as alive in the sense of animation—Sagan writes fondly of the millions of people on the planet who are animists (i.e. believe that natural objects are endowed with “spirit). Ironically, Sagan was not, so far as I know an animist in that he does not write of natural forces as being endowed with spirit. I do think that he believed in the Earth as a living organism, however, and so we’re in agreement on this post. Please see my post yesterday on his book The Varieties of Human Experience … in the Search for God for more.

3.  Vega  8:59  Radiohead, Bones  This star chokes me up with emotion, as does Lucius/Arcturus. Looking bright and beautiful as always high up in the NE. You should all read the book Cosmos or at least watch the movie this summer. Homework is fun! :)

4.  Spica  9:03  Roxy Music, Beauty Queen   I call Spica “the comedy star” because it seems to have a witty and/or ironic sense of timing! I worry that this name, which means “EAR OF GRAIN” in Greek, can be taken as a racist slander among Mexican Americans. But hopefully I’ll soon stop being insulted for being a reason when I greet Spica by name. Get a clue p.c. police of New Brunswick, Flagstaff, etc! It’s called Greek nomenclature.

5.  Saturn  9:05   “*” [this symbol means same track; note the time]  Note that our planets in English nomenclature are directly linked to the days of the week. Saturn is “Saturday.” This is because it was, for naked eye astronomers and until the discovery of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, etc. thought (correctly!) to be the most distant planet. It takes 29 years to make a complete orbit around the sun and is in a wonderful position at the present moment for viewing here in the northern U.S.

6.  Moon  9:14  Cracker, Low  gorgeous full moon rising in the SSE or so, yellowish-pink to the south, competing with Saturn for attention. Interesting that it “appeared” after Saturn last night. Note that the light of the moon often blocks out neighboring stars. Not so last night with Saturn, which was pretty far to the right (towards the south)

7.  Altair  9:21 Nickname = Lil’ Green Bug. Please see my poem in Metaphysical Nature Poems: Health and Profundity:  

“Little Green Bug”

The closest thing I know to infinity

Is identity mine.

Think not of the difference

Between a star and a little green bug.

Contemplate the sameness of ash.

8.  Deneb  9:21  Nickname = The Scuttlebutt; my collection of poems CNJCSS.  Deneb means “tail” in Arabic I think. Denebola is the tail of Leo (which I call Unicorn, for which see later), and I think one “Deneb…” is enough! ;)

9.  Special J  9:24  I have yet to learn the English or any other name for this particular star, which is in the “biceps” position of The Big Dipper: the third in the handle. And so, I sort of named it after myself! I think this is a healthy thing to do, because how can things as important as stars not have names? This is a good moment to mention that not only are names of stars and constellations different across cultures, but the asterisms and groupings themselves vary differently as well. Of course, the stars appear to move over time, meaning that groupings are by their very nature illusionary and might require renaming and reconfiguration over time.

10.  Alcaid ”  This quotation marks symbol means “spotted in the same visual sweep.”  Note: in Copernamici, there is no “correct answer” for when a star is seen—it should and will usually vary from person to person. [The rule in play here is BE HONEST! A good lesson in general, but especially for scientists.] This is an Arabic name—any time you have a star name that begins with “Al,” as in Altair (Lil’ Green Bug) you should think Arabic. I believe that “al” is a definite article, equivalent to “the.” For instance, Vega is known as Alwazn (spelling), meaning “the ascending one.”

11.  Mizar  ”   The star in between Special J and Alcaid in the Big Dipper (which I call The Big Rob: see CNJCSS poems—it’s a coffee drink!). Note that the Big Dipper is not a constellation, but formally known as an asterism (star grouping). The constellation of which it’s a part is Ursa Major (the Great Bear), the stars of which cannot be seen here in NJ because of light pollution and atmospheric trauma. It’s a sad example of why this game must be played in my humble opinion. Any who, these three stars 9-11 usually appear in the sky together. It’s really fun to have them compete for attention, meaning you should always note which one you see first.

12.  Big Rob  9:25  [nickname, see #11 above for explanation: it’s the name so nice I have to use it twice] This star is the lead pointer towards Polaris the north star in the Big Dipper. Last night it appeared right after the “arm” triad.

13.  Tulip Food Bank  9:25  [not ”]  This star is nicknamed after students for whom I volunteered as a literacy tutor in Flagstaff, AZ circa June 2015. For me, it has a strong association with First Peoples, but especially the Navajo. Hiya! It’s the other pointer star in the Big Rob/Dipper.

14. 1.8.8 repeating x infinity   “  The nickname is difficult to write because it’s mathematical. For me, the language of the cosmos and the Earth in general (but on a more local level) is music and mathematics. Science is applied math, and music is how I relate to spirituality, which is why I like to sing—it’s how I pray, like most people on this planet. It sucks that I’ve been told to be quiet most of my life, but especially recently, because my singing bothers people, apparently. Whatever! This game is too important for me to give up.  This star is usually the last to appear in the Dipper because the final star, which I’ve named Evelyn in honor of one of my son’s friends, is not visible so far from New Brunswick. This indicates that sirius work must be done to repair our atmosphere. Remember: this is game can be very very hard on the soul. But it’s meant to help students and people everywhere understand how badly we as people have damaged the planet. There is great reason for hope: the Earth can repair itself if we only allow it. We must cut down on all forms of pollution if we’re to recapture what was once so sacred to our ancestors. When was the last time you went outside and simply looked up? Perhaps you don’t know what you’re missing….

15. Antares 9:27 [nickname = The Riddler, because I noticed in Flagstaff that Scorpio—it’s the brightest star in this constellation—looks exactly like a question mark! ?  And so, I nicknamed Scorpio “Pinchotocles” — I enjoy the work of the actor Bronson Pinchot of Perfect Strangers, which was a favorite of mine growing up. It’s also a pun! Get it? Pinch pinch!?]  The name of this star means “opposed to Mars” which is lovely, in that Mars is the God of War in Roman mythology. Thus, Antares kind of means “anti-war” which I like very much. However, given the importance of being militant about the evils of pollution in this game, I prefer going with the beliefs of my heroes like Gandhi and Dr. King (also the latter day Malcom X) and their ilk who are fighters for peace, using noncompliance and protest as a way of solving political problems.

16. Beta Scorpio [second brightest star in Pinchotocles/Scorpio, above and to the right. I once nicknamed this and other stars after other students of mine. But that’s kind of a personal thing that I don’t feel comfortable sharing in this particular domain. Please ask questions if you’re curious!]

17. Bonzo 9:28   song = Led Zeppelin, Moby Dick  This star is the cap of the Serpent Bearer, also known as Ophiochus, a medicine man native to Greek mythology. You can see Bonzo forming a quadrangle with Vega, Altair, and Deneb, the summer triangle long used for navigational purposes. John Bonham is my favorite drummer of all time. He kicked so much ass, it’s ridiculous. The dude was like a clock personfied, ask his bandmates, listen, or watch a video. I had a classmate at Moses Brown School in Providence, RI named Eric Bennet who once did an oral report on Bonzo, and I’ve never forgotten that. Eric played in a band alongside another drummer, and he was clearly inspired. John Bonham shares a birthday with my son Lucius, May 31st, making it entirely apt as a nickname given it’s relevance as a part of the summer quadrangle. Note that Serpent Bearer SHOULD be a part of the 12 zodiacal constellations, in that it’s always a quadrant through which planets pass. Saturn is making its way from the bottom of Ophiochus towards Scorpio right now. I have redesigned Hercules and Serpent Bearer by renaming a bunch of those stars after musicians. I call it Musician’s Corner, which also features (not visible here in the CNJ) John Lennon, David Bowie, Ella Fitzgerald, Lou Reed, and Jimi Hendrix. These stars are ALL visible in Flagstaff, which is why I will always have fond memories of that place. If you have good views of the night sky wherever you are, I am extremely jealous of you today. We have so much work to do here in urban America.  

18. O.W. L. “  [nickname for Gemma, the lead star in The Northern Crown, a constellation which looks like a breast, and this the nipple. I’ve renamed the constellation Scrapy Scrapy because it’s kind of like the grappling device in the constellation I call The Thugged-Out Good Ship Carl Sagan, Ship #1 of the InterGalactic StarFleet. See my drawings elsewhere. It’s a redesign of Northern Crown, Bootes or Herdsman and Virgo.] Wow. Can you tell I’ve been busy at night in recent months? I have a lot to say, but no one wants to publish my work! Why is the astronomy community ignoring me? I’d love to publish a book about this stuff. Please contact me if you’re interested in making a lot of money by publishing an interesting article or book about astronomy and everything. I use this nickname because I love owls. They remind me of my son and myself. Think Greek and Roman mythology.

19. Monkey Eye “  [OKAY, I’m done explaining for today. More to come later.]

20. Kochab 9:31  

21. Polaris 9:32

22. Denebola 9:33  Led Zeppelin, Bring it on Home

23. Molly Scuttlebutt 9:36   (to the right of Deneb/The Scuttlebutt in Cygnus, which I’ve renamed Goose)

24. Ader “  (above and to the left of Vega in a constellation I’ve designed as QB2lip; this star is also known as the mouth of Draco—Harry Potter connection!)

25. Slaveman Boots 9:40  The Shins, Saint Simon  [a.k.a. Cor Coroli — why name a star after some dead asshole of a British king? I prefer the Wu Tang reference here in the CNJ]

26. Arcturus(+) 9:44  TRex, Lean Woman Blues   [I figure why not bump the name over to the star in the roof of the cockpit of the Thug Carl Sagan?]

27. Jacques Scuttlebutt  9:46  [above Molly Scuttlebutt in the upper wing of Goose]

28. Mother Emily Dickinson 9:47  TRex, The Motivator  [above and left of Beta Scorpio, named after my favorite lyric poet; I like that the nickname is also Mother E.D.   HAHA]

Well, as Grover would say, “There you have it!” A lot to digest. But last night was a VERY GOOD night for Copernamici here in New Brunswick as indicated by the number of stars I was able to document in one hour and three minutes of game play. As always, more to come: “There’s always a P.S.” is one of my very favorite mantras.

7.10.17

Location: HP Reform Church on 2nd, Highland Park —> Boyd Park, New Brunswick

Anthem: John Lennon, Imagine (~8:43)

Weather: Timed Rain revealing open sky from the NW

Earth Character Name: HiyAA! (b/c I hit a 2nd meeting of the day, my 16th of complete and total sobriety)

The Lineup

1.  8:51  Lil’ J(upiter)  The Shins, Sleeping Lessons

2.  Lucius (Arcturus)  9:01  The Freewheelin’ Bobby Dylan, Queen Jane, Approximately

3.  Vega  9:05  ”*”   [BONUS TRACK: Built to Spill, Carry the Zero … note: I often play xtra tracks that I don’t list b/c they’re not strongly associated with star sightings. I indicate this one b/c I like the moment and want to remember it. I was walking towards OZ and felt inspired by my view of Vega and my environs. I like to remind myself that the language of the cosmos if not earth is Mathematics, and that I suck at it! I much prefer science, which to me is applied math. My rule is not only to look up, but to look around.]

4.  Spica  9:14  Blur, I’m Just a Killer para estu (?) amor  [Bonus track: follwed by Bob Marley, Stir It Up.  I’ve named a star in the constellation Eagle after Bob b/c I like his music and think he’s an important figure in the history of World Music. I’ve never been to Jamaica but feel I would love it there.]

Pause: An impromptu Wilco Solid Sound 2015 concert at Boyd Park. See accompanying videos on my Copernamic channel on YouTube, which is where I post videos related to the game:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLoXM2XAeZa0NH1t00Otm4DbzWOEVUkk9x

Jesus etc.:  https://youtu.be/wk07AtPhKzQ

New Madrid:  https://youtu.be/1jM1ni9Gjpo

5.  Alcaid  9:40  Ray Charles, What I Say

6.  Mizar  “  “*”

7.  Special J  “  “*”

Analysis:

As any amateur astronomer or nakedeye stargazer will say, the weather means a lot. Even in relatively unpolluted areas, like Flagstaff, AZ (which I hear is in the midst of a wicked fire season—I hope everyone is doing okay out there!), or (I imagine) on the plains of Africa, if it’s cloudy out you’re not going to see much. Here in Central New Jersey, it’s gotten quite humid in the last 24 hours. Last night there was a passing rain storm around 8:00 p.m. and I wasn’t sure if the stars would come out. But, patience is a virtue and is usually rewarded. “Gaia” did not disappoint me last night and it was an educational evening all in all. Let me ‘shplain to the “real astronomers,” as Papa Carl (Sagan) would say….

Jupiter showed up “on cue” at 8:51. Besides the Moon (I refuse to use a capitor “t” because there are other moons in the solar system, and most are far more interesting), Jupiter SHOULD be the first object visible in the night sky here in New Brunswick.  It was nice and clear in that part of the sky, meaning there were excellent views of the planet nearly the entire evening.

High above Jupiter I saw Arcturus 10 minutes later. Relative to Jupiter, Arcturus is towards the center of the sky. If you have trouble understanding what it means for a star to be “up high,” think about it’s distance from the horizon. If you can look at the sky as a dome and see it as a hemisphere, you’ll recognize that the sky is like an umbrella, as suggested by H. A. Rey in his awesome book The Stars: the illusion is that it’s a round dome, even though we should know that it’s not at all a sphere, at least not that we can see from this perspective. Historically, most people believed that we live in a large dome, as in a snow globe. That’s because it looks this way. Try lying on your back and looking up. Without being able to see the horizons, the illusion disappears.

Arcturus’s appearance last night was slightly delayed. all things being equal atmospherically, I can usually spot Arcturus 5 MINUTES after Jupiter. I’m not always paying close attention, but I stand by this statistic. Try it yourselves! See if you can spot Arcturus before Jupiter, and if not, then as close as possible to it in terms of lapsed time. I bet you can’t do it in less than 5 minutes! :)   That’s how cool naked-eye astronomy is. Why would you use a telescope when you can do this for free? Oh yeah. Pollution. Le sigh. The good news is that weather is more of  a hindrance, and this particular exercise should be able to be done no matter where you are. I wonder about New York though…hmmmm. Can you see Arcturus and Jupiter from Times Square? I’m genuinely curious but mostly disturbed by the possible answer—I don’t want to know because of how angry it would make me with that particular city and its inhabitants, but mostly its “caretakers.” How dare the people running that city rob its citizens of the opportunity to play this game? I feel bad for the kids, but also the grown-ups, no matter how often they drive, etc.

Back to last night. For those unaquainted with Arcturus, its a beautiful burnt-orange-colored star I call Lucius. His name means Light in Latin, and so to me it’s a natural fit for something like a star, which after all is nothing but a distant sun. I like using the “official star names” so that people can understand my writing more easily, but I figure why not share something of myself in these silly blog posts. As far as stars go, Arcturus is actually quite interesting: it’s 36.7 lightyears away, which makes it one of our closest neighbors. It is 140 times as bright as our sun. Imagine being near that guy! Hard to imagine isn’t it? Makes me think of that song “Blinded by the Light!” I don’t feel like looking up the artist right now, but was it Loverboy?

Anywho, Arcturus is estimated to be 7.1 billion years old—I don’t yet have any opinions about the validity of this assertion. Our sun is—I believe accurately estimated at—4.6 billion years old. For those new to astronomy, it’s worth considering how a star can be older than ours. It’s interesting that some stars are older and some are younger than ours, which is middle-aged. It’s about half way through it’s life cycle, meaning that it will die in another 4.6 billion or so years. Like with people, who usually live to around 70 to 80 years if healthy, stars have different physical properties. It’s not a myth: stars are “alive” in the sense that they are energy, the source of all life. Like many people, I consider the stars my “parents.” As a caring human being, I also think it’s worth thinking of them as our children, in that we should want to be able to keep an eye on them.

I like being middle-aged (mostly) because it helps me understand our solar system a bit better. I can relate to the sun! Here’s something to contemplate the next time you’re outside: if our sun and the stuff in our solar system was “created” from an explosion known as the Big Bang, how many other formative events—processes of accruals in which matter joins together to form stars and planets out of “space dust”—have happened? Hindus believe that existence is made of an infinite series of such events, and that time basically has no beginning or end. I agree with this belief, by the way—inifnity = infinity in the same way as 1 = 1. I’m not at all agnostic: I simply believe in the mathematics behind this aspet of science. So. There is a lot of stuff in our solar system—consider Lil’ J—even if it’s not much compared to the amount of void or empty space out there in this our local part of the Milky Way galaxy. The Big Bang happened around 16.7 billion years ago (my preferred estimate as of today). QUESTION: WHY IS THE EARTH, the only place that is known to be home to “intelligent life” according to most scientists (BUT NOT PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN ALIENS! HAHA—I love that the first movie I ever saw in a theater was The Empire Strikes Back, it freaked me out and I cried and we had to leave…then again, I was only like 3 or 4 years old), SO PERFECTLY PLACED IN SPACE AND TIME when we treat it so badly? Do we really believe that this is all a coincidence? I’m not much for sermonizing, but I do think it’s worth considering how closely aligned astronomy, Earth science, and religion are and should be. But I digress…

   Spica, a dimmer but visible star that to my eye in Flagstaff is a lovely bluish-green (one of the few stars I can honestly describe as “greenish,” along with Regulus) forms a giant L with Jupiter these days. (See the photo in my previous Copernamici posting.) Again, I like that it connects me with Lucius—it’s these connections that make stargazing fun. When Spica appeared, a few minutes after Arcturus, I was playing a song called “Killer for Your Love” by the British band Blur (it’s on the album that has the famous Song 2—sportsfans will know this song and thus know the band…it’s the one that goes “woooo hooo!” in a British accent). I think that having a soundtrack, no matter what it is, makes Copernamici more fun—more interactive in a way. The game is all about “timing,” and so why wouldn’t we use music to allow the Earth to direct the show? Ask John Williams and George Lucas and their fans if they think music is an important part of stargazing. For me, music is how I pray, but it’s also how I make sense of the natural world. I call it the rhythm method, for which see my poems in the CNJCSS, posted earlier.

Next was Vega, which for me is a very important star. It’s closer at 25 light years away. By the way, the closest star to Earth is called—rather lamely—Proxima Centauri, meaning “nearest star in Centaur,” at 4.3 light years away. How do we in the Anglophone world NOT have a better name for this important destination? Whatever. You name it! I’m tired of naming shit. Haha. Centaur is a constellation visible towards the equator — I have never seen this star because I’ve never been further south than Key West, Florida, and therefore refuse to name it even in the context of the game Copernamici. Also, it’s too dim to be seen by the naked human eye, although I’d love to try! I’ve never looked at a star or anything except the moon through a telescope because I’m waiting to do so with my son on a special occasion. [For people in America, a total solar eclipse is coming up on August 23rd 2017 by the way…]

VEGA is important for cool reasons: it’s almost always on display, no matter how bad the pollution. It also happens the place that Sagan posited we might first make Contact with aliens. There are very significant reasons for this thesis, which make a ton of sense. Consider this: humans started sending out radio signals late in the 19th century. However, these signals were not as powerful as TV signals, which we started shooting out into interstellar space—penetrating all the dust—around 1936. The occasion was the opening ceremonies of the Hitler Olympics, disturbingly enough. If you do the math, those signals, travelling at the speed of light DID INDEED arrive—it’s a scientific fact—in the area of Vega around the year 1956. And so, if the message was “received” according to our known science, and if other beings decided to send the signal back to us in a similar package—EARTH TO CLUNK is the name of a great children’s book, by the way—it would have come back to us around the year 1976 or so. Only, I don’t believe we were looking then. (I was born in 1977, so I like this stuff as a sci-fi geek.) Papa Carl’s book “Contact” tells this story. Again, I must suggest you read it. It’s about a young female radioastronomer who makes an important discovery that is misunderstood. I think many of us can relate to this heroic but imperfect character. By the way, I should remind you that I’ve been employed as and English Professor for most of my life, and not a scientist. I’m just like any other stargazer in that I like to use my eyes and sense of wonder to learn.

Now, why did Sagan not choose a place with known exoplanets that’s closer? I think he had an attraction to this location because of it’s beauty. Also, we know more now than we did when he died in 1996. That’s a good thing and we should value it. Check out Vega! It’s got a lovely bluish hue and looks a lot in terms of shape like the stars found at the top of Christmas trees. As is the case with Arcturus, I get kind of emotional when I look at Vega, which is why I like to listen to the music I find most moving. Perhaps I’ll make a video one of these days. But, I need the energy, and I feel kind of tired these days. Middle age, blah.

I think that’s enough analysis for this session. Except, note that I spotted Special J last last night. It was hard to make out the Big Dipper because of the cloud cover—note that clouds keep in light, making it a domino effect that hinders viewing. And yet, I was indeed able to make out the 3 brightest stars of the asterism, which is why I was happy to close out the night with Brother Ray Charles, the High Priest of R+B, or soul.

Peace and Love,

Jeff

copern 71117

anthem 8:35  wu tang bminor

Lil’ J  8:52    G. Welch,   Wasted on the Wayside

lucius 8:58  big star, september grlz

vega 9:07  radiohead, black star

Not a good night. Don’t forget: you’re better than this. Stop being so angry. When you’re looking at the stars, remember to look at the stars. Talk to people and they’ll talk to you. That’s all.

WED JULY 26, 2017

All the visible stars were out tonight—at least all the ones I’ve identified since moving here—except what I think was Denebola. However, I did see the star above and to the right of Abigail in QB2Lip.

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Rewards of Losing:  Chapter 25

He’s very pink. Ryou considered this Michael Arclight that Shou brought into the medical tent. Michael wasn’t much taller than Shou but they were clearly about the same age. His clothes didn’t look like anything Ryou had ever seen before, though they were a little grimy, and he wore a bright red scarf around his left arm. Ryou had seen those on every Resistance member – and now Shou wore one as well, his tied neatly around his right arm. A badge o some kind, he guessed.

He would have to get one as well. He’d made his decision.

“Big brother, this is Michael Arclight,” Shou introduced him as soon as they stepped inside. “Michael-san, this is my big brother, Marufuji Ryou.”

Micheal raised one hand in greeting. Ryou could see the calluses of a sword-wielder there. He’d seen it a few times during his first stay in Heartland, and seen it on Mizael as well.

“Pleasure to meet you.” Michael nodded towards him and Ryou returned it. He sat up in his cot, stomach full of that very pleasant noodle dish Mizael brought him, one hand resting on Kei.

He’d never thought it would be so pleasant to just sit here like this. He could get used to it.

“Likewise,” Ryou agreed. “I hear that you and Shou have been getting along very well.”

Michael smiled a tiny smile. “That we have. He’s a very talented Healer.” He glanced at Shou, who turned several shades of red. “Which leads to a question I would like to ask.”

Strange. Ryou hadn’t ever seen Shou go from red to white that fast. He suspected he knew what Michael had in mind.

“And that question is?”

Michael’s gaze flicked between the two of them. “Do I have your permission to court your brother as my Healer, Marufuji-san?”

Ryou hadn’t truly felt like laughing in a very long time. That question made him chuckle. One eyebrow quirked upward. “And why do you ask me instead of him?” Though truth to tell, he had no idea of what real courting customs were in XYZ. He’d never worried about it before.

“To be honest, I have no idea of what your courting customs are in Fusion,” Michael told him. Huh. Ryou realized he should have thought of that. “I thought it wouldn’t hurt. You are his only relative here, after all.”

I’m his only relative anywhere. Their parents hadn’t lasted much longer after Shou started to attend Duel Academia. But he saw no reason to mention that right now.

“Normally there’s a battle of some kind against anyone else who might be interested and of equal strength,” Ryou recounted, vividly remembering the day that Yuuri had “won” him. Four Healers, their own plants turned against them, shredded down into mulch. Yuuri told him with great pleasure that he’d used them to nurture his favorite flytrap – the sire of the tiny one that he’d given to Ryou.

The one that also had died when Ryou frosted over the Garden. Ryou wouldn’t miss it.

Michael’s lips twitched. “I think we can skip that part.”

Ryou nodded, then glanced at Shou. “I think what matters is – do you want to court him, Shou? And be courted by him?” They weren't in Fusion any longer. They didn’t have to go by the old rules.

Shou flushed all over again. Ryou hoped that they didn’t have to call another Healer for him. He could see Mizael trying hard not to laugh and not doing a very good job of it. Then Shou forced himself to settle down.

“I- Are you sure, Michael-san? I’m not really that good.”

Micheal delivered a stern look all out of proportion with his size and pink-ness. “I think you’re going to be better than you can imagine. And you don’t have to call me “san”. You can just call me Michael.

Shou ducked his head, staring downward at the floor for a second before he raised his gaze again. “If you say so – and – yes. I’d really like to court you – and be courted by you.”

“Good. Since I already started by cooking you lunch.” Michael grinned, probably at the way Shou flushed even deeper and stammered out a few words about how delicious it was.

Ryou caught Mizael’s eye. “Is that a courting event here? Cooking for one another?”

Mizael made a quiet little sound. “Oh, something like that. Why do you ask?” He seemed to be making a point not to quite meet Ryou’s eyes.

Ryou found himself smiling. “The noodles were very good,” he murmured. What did Mizael like to eat, he wondered, and would he be able to get it? He would have to find out.

“Oh, you said you wanted to properly learn XYZ, didn't you?” Mizael asked, Ryou nodded, and Mizael grinned a bit more. “My friend Chris – Michael’s brother – he’ll be happy to teach you. You can meet him later. Their other brother Thomas will probably want to duel you too. There’s a long list of people who want to.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Ryou said, turning his attention to Kei, stroking one hand through the short, thick fur and hard muscles. He wondered if any of them were kith or kin to those that he’d carded before. He’d never bothered to remember the names of his previous victims and now he no longer could learn them.

He would have to make sure that he never did that again. It was the best that he could do.

“Kotori is your official Healer, by the way. Apparently I’m too close to you,” Mizael said, nose twitching. “But when she says you’re strong enough, we can get you training with Chris and whoever else wants to duel you. You’re never going to lack for sparring partners.”

Ryou nodded, glancing over to the two cards on the table. Cyber Dragon Nova and Cyber Dragon Infinity. Both XYZ cards – and he could feel something about them, a sense of awareness, the same thing that he'd begun to feel about Cyber End Dragon. Mizael had indicated that meant they had spirits attached to the cards.

That was interesting and he looked forward to finding out more about them. But not now. Now he watched as Shou and Michael sat side by side and Shou told him what he’d been up to lately and promised that Asuka and Akane would be by to visit sooner or later. Healer Kotori wasn’t going to let him be overwhelmed by visitors and if she saw all of them there, she’d probably be furious at them.

Ryou didn’t mind. He’d always been a private person but now, he felt the need for a little companionship. Especially those who knew where he came from and didn’t care. He’d seen some of the looks that other Healers and visitors here gave him and he didn’t blame them. Not only had he been Fusion but if they knew what he’d done before the war -

Well, he didn’t know if Frostflames could be poisoned or not. He knew that Firestarters tended to burn out poisons before the toxins could really affect them. But no one he knew had ever tried to poison a Frostflame. Mostly because no Frostflames existed in Fusion.

Even if they couldn’t be, Frostflames were as mortal as anyone else. If someone tried to kill him, he wouldn’t be surprised. He wasn't going to let them but he’d not be surprised at the attempt.

He wanted to make up for what he’d done. But dying wasn’t going to accomplish that, and he’d always had a dream of having a duel so fantastic that no one would ever forget that he’d existed before he died. So far he hadn’t. But he wasn’t going to give that up. It might not happen until after the war – or it could be one he had going up against Yuuri. He didn’t doubt that they’d fight one another one day, and he genuinely looked forward to it.

Getting better took time and it took energy. For the first handful of days after he woke up, Ryou ate as much as he could, slept as much as he could, and slowly started to walk around again. Once he could do so without freeing the ground underneath him – he quickly learned that even when he did that, he never slipped on it. Frostflames didn’t slip, it seemed – well, once he learned that, Rio started to teach him how to be a Frostflame. It really wasn’t that difficult from being a Firestarter.

On the fifth day after he woke up, he formally met Chris and Durbe. They entered in the afternoon, settling in the chairs next to him and introducing themselves.

“If you want to learn to use XYZ, I can teach you,” Chris said, not wasting any words. “I’ve taught several people. Though I can’t say I’ve ever taught a defector from Fusion.”

Ryou shrugged. “There’s a first time for everything.” He suspected he was one of the first to change sides. He wondered who else back there might decide that the Professor wasn’t the savior they all thought he was.

“Then we can get started,” Chris declared. He gestured to Ryou’s deck. “May I?” With Ryou’s permission, he filtered through the deck, and started on Ryou’s first XYZ lesson.

Asuka poked her head into the tent, her expression brightening when she spied Ryou seated next to his bed, chatting with Kei, sorting through his deck.

“You’re looking a lot better,” she said, moving inside. A young woman followed her – that must be Akane. Ryou didn’t remember her much from the brief time they’d crossed paths in Fusion, but who else could it be?

“I feel better,” he admitted. Being reborn into the ice shattered every fear that he’d ever had. Now he was what he was – and what he was was a Frostflame.

Asuka nodded, coming over to sit in one of the bedside chairs. “What are you doing here?” She glanced towards the cards and blinked. “Is that XYZ?”

“Yes. I’m adding them to my Extra Deck.” Ryou touched one of them with one finger, admiring how he had enough control not to ice over the card. It hadn’t always been that way. But Rio’s instructions could be very precise and very thorough.

“I’ve been thinking of changing mine a little too,” Asuka admitted. “I sort of want to add Rituals to it, though.”

She’d always had a talent for those, even though most Fusion people considered them a second rate Summons method at best. But Ryou nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

He glanced at Akane. “What about you?”

The other girl leaped a little when he addressed her, dropping her eyes down. “I don’t know yet. I usually play a Rock-type deck. I’ve been looking at some of the ones they have here, to see if there’s anything that could improve my deck. I think – I like the Gustos. They’re XYZ.” She peeked up a little, as if looking for his approval. Ryou nodded.

“If it calls to you, try it.” Cyber Dragon Nova and Cyber Dragon Infinity called to him. He listened.

Asuka added her agreement. “It won’t hurt to try a few different options. I hear there’s another Summons method – Synchro. You might try that, too.”

Ryou had never seen a Synchro Summons. He wasn’t sure if he ever would. He would have to stay here in order to help the Resistance, but maybe one day, after it was over. He wasn’t sure if he was being too hopeful that he’d see the end of the war, but he liked having something to look forward to.

“Do you think Shou might change his dueling style?” Asuka asked. “He’s been having a lot of fun dueling other people. I saw him just yesterday going up against someone. He won, too. It was close.”

“I wish I’d seen that,” Ryou mused. He’d always enjoyed seeing how Shou developed as a duelist. But he would have more time. They had so many duels ahead of them.

“Ruri!” Dennis chirped gleefully as he greeted Ruri. Ruri waved at him, her thoughts more on the duel she would be fighting later against that former fusion Firestarter Tenjoin Asuka. Shun would be watching, as he always did, and he would disapprove. As he always did.

Well, he would just have to learn to deal with it. She wasn’t going to stop meeting new people and having duels with them because he didn’t approve, and the more they got to know the people who’d left Fusion, the more they would be able to learn. Maybe one day they would use that knowledge to stop Fusion altogether.

Ruri looked forward to that. She hated everything that the war had started and had taken away from her. Her eyes still tightened up if she thought too much about her parents.

But now she put on a gentle smile and chatted with Dennis, laughing at his magic tricks, and counting the time down until she could leave. Something about Dennis always unnerved her – the way he was just too chipper. She’d offered to introduce him to Shun as well and he’d turned it down. That made her twitch a little as well. She didn’t know what he had against seeing her brother. It could just be that he’d heard enough tales about how Shun had been in school. It wasn’t as if Shun didn’t have a reputation.

It probably didn’t matter that much in the end. Ruri suspected they’d cross paths sooner or later, and she did hope that she’d be there to see it.

The Night Garden was still beautiful. It wasn’t quite the Night Garden anymore – enough replanting had happened so that it was just a Garden now. Those Healers who needed Gardens of their own had their little spots and many of them were rebuilding their personal areas – nests, as some people called them.

Mizael hadn’t decided where his new nest would be. The closest he’d ever come to having a true personal Garden was the Night Garden, plus a few plants in his apartment. Those now graced his tent, and seemed to have made the change gracefully.

Now, however, he had something other than the plants to think about. He admired Ryou as the other strode into view. Today he wasn’t wearing the Fusion uniform. Today he wore black from head to toe, including a black leather trenchcoat. The only splash of color on him was the red scarf that encircled his throat.

Just the sight of him in all of that, but especially the Rebellion’s mark, sent flashes of heat all through Mizael. He swallowed a bit, working to keep his head together, and not sure how successful he was about it.

Ryou smiled at the sight of him – a small upward tilting of his lips that Mizael treasured. “Well?” He raised one hand to the scarf. “Christopher gave it to me.”

“It suits you,” Mizael agreed. He glanced at the outfit again. “You have a thing for black, I see.” And oh, did it suit him. All of it did.

“They called me Hell Kaiser at Academia,” Ryou said with a shrug. “It’s a bit of an image. But I prefer this to that uniform.”

“It definitely suits you a lot more,” Mizael agreed. Together the two of them started to walk side by side, heading through the Night Garden’s deeper areas, the ones that were far more like the way it used to be.

He smiled after a few steps. “This is where we met,” he murmured. “Do you remember?”

“I remember.” It had barely been two weeks, really. Two weeks and a lifetime ago. Ryou’s lips twitched ever so briefly. “And we dueled that first time.”

Mizael definitely remembered that. He’d had to fight for that win – he’d never even heard of Fusion before that, at least not as something that people used. A historical thing, if it had been used at all. But now it was something so much other than that.

“I could never forget.” Mizael grinned. “And I won.”

“Not many people have that distinction,” Ryou told him. “I look forward to a rematch – a true one.” He rested one hand on the deck he carried. “I have a few surprises in here now.”

Mizael licked his lips, his heart-rate picking up. “Did you bring your duel disk with you?”

“I did.” Ryou caught Mizael’s eyes, blue to blue. Both of them slowly smiled at one another, taking a few more steps. Up ahead was one of the training areas, set a short distance above the rest of the Garden. Without a question passing between the two, they headed over there.

“This was the same one we fought on, wasn’t it?” Ryou mused, eyeing it. “I think it is.”

“You’re right,” Mizael agreed. A suitable place for a second match, they both knew. Something just between the two of them, something only they would see.

Mizael took his place as Ryou took his. Each shuffled their deck and drew their cards, ready to play. For the first time since the war began, Mizael knew he was going to enjoy a duel. Ryou looked more intense, but not as tense as he’d been that first time. And, of course, there wasn’t any Yuuri watching with smug superiority.

Monsters were summoned, spells cast, traps laid and triggered. Ryou examined his cards, then quickly summoned Cyber Twin Dragon, then canceled the fusion, resulting in two Cyber Dragons on his field. He examined them with a careful eye. Then his gaze flicked to a scrap of space, that might look empty to his eyes, but his heart told him contained something else altogether. Maybe he couldn't see it, but he saw Mizael’s smile and that was good enough for him.

“With my two level five Cyber Dragons, I construct the Overlay Network! From the deepest depths of space comes the new heart of my deck, the soul of my future! XYZ Summons! Appear, Rank Five, Cyber Nova Dragon!”

The End

Notes: Well, here we are at the end. Ryou has received his reward for his initial loss – he’s lost his world and everything he had there and will spend years fighting Fusion. With his brother, his friends, and his Healer-boyfriend. One day I will write a sequel but that day is not today. I will write more Ryou/Mizael in the future, in other Aus. I’ve learned to love them so very much.

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Rewards of Losing:  Chapter 24

Flames flickered around the edges of Michael’s sword as it clashed against his opponent’s. The opposing swordsman didn’t flinch; Shou gathered that he’d sparred against Micheal before and was used to how a Firestarter fought.

He couldn't take his eyes off of the display. He wouldn’t have even if he’d wanted to. Michael, he’d learned over the last couple of days, used his sword like an extension of himself. It was a view of beauty that he couldn’t get enough of.

He didn’t spend all of his time watching Michael. He spent at least part of it helping Durbe-san and Arclight-san – the oldest one – with learning the details of how to work the Fusion duel disks. Other times he spent sparring against XYZ duelists, teaching them how to fight against Fusion, and some time he also spent going around the remaining gardens of Heartland and encouraging what grew there.

And with what little time he had left, he visited his brother and made sure that Kei was all right. He’d met Mizael by now, and the first thought through his mind was that this duelist was a perfect match for Ryou in every possible way. Talented in dueling and a powerful Healer both, which were only the tip of the iceberg.

Boy, did that feel different now that Ryou had frosted over. He’d seen how the ice clung to Ryou and shifted whenever he moved in his sleep. Shou wondered what it would be like once his brother finally woke up. Kamishiro-san – the Frostflame – told him that most Frostflames slept for at least a whole day after they frosted over, since their bodies were rewiring themselves.

He’d visited Ryou earlier that day and there wasn’t a sign yet that he was waking up. He would visit again around lunch time.

Someone settled down next to him and Shou glanced for a second. He wasn’t expecting to see anyone he knew and blinked as Mizael rested one foot on the bench in front of them, lounging against the one behind them.

“Is everything all right?” Shou wondered, fingers tightening a little. Everyone said that his brother would be more than strong enough to survive the experience of changing but it wasn’t always a sure thing.

“Yes,” Mizael assured him with a slight nod. “I was just wondering – what sort of soup would your brother like best?”

Shou blinked a few times. That wasn’t a question that he’d expected to hear. “What?”

“What soup does he like the best? He’ll wake up again soon and he should have some lunch. Rio says changing means you’re starving afterwards.

Shou’s mouth opened but no actual words came out first. He swallowed, closed his mouth, and tried again. “He’s awake?”

“He was. He fell back asleep and Kei suggested I get him something for lunch. What would you suggest?”

At first Shou wanted to just ran to his brother and try to talk to him. But he kept himself where he was and thought very heard. It had been a while since he’d so much as seen Ryou eat, let alone know what he might want to eat.

“Well, he’s always been kind of picky,” Shou said at lat, thinking back to when they’d been children together. There had been something – “I think he might like somen noodles.” Those were normally a summertime treat and it wasn’t as much summer as it had once been, but they had the advantages of being cold food. In Ryou’s current condition, hot food probably wouldn’t stay hot all that long.

Mizael nodded. “I can do that.” He didn’t get up, though. Instead, he watched Michael as the young Arclight started to wrap up his sparring session. “I should see if he wants to go a few rounds against me,” he mused. Shou blinked.

“You sword-fight too?” Was that something that everyone in Heartland did? Shou wasn’t certain if he had his head wrapped around that concept just yet. Was it like dueling? Was it just something that everyone did?

“Of course I do.” Mizael chuckled. “Jinlong says that I was a warrior in one life that he knew me in. I don’t know if he’s right ” Mizael’s eyes flicked to a patch of empty space and rolled for a second before he looked back at Shou, “but I do seem to have a knack for it.”

Shou’s mouth formed a perfect ‘o’. He’d never heard of anything like that before – at least not the way Mizael said it. He’d heard of people who thought they had past lives. But no one seemed to accept it as easily as Mizael did.

Then Mizael pushed himself onto his feet. “I should get started on the food. You can come see him at lunch if you like. I’m sure he’d be glad to see you.”

Shou nodded; he would have done that anyway. Then he turned back to see Michael heading over to him. His heart did a quick little skip at the sight. “He’s awake,” Shou said as soon as the Firestarter was close enough to hear him.

Micheal’s smile lit a warmth inside of Shou’s heart. He’d never seen a Firestarter so warm. Every Firestarter was hot – it was in their nature, right down to their core. But Michael was the only one who truly seemed warm to him.

I wonder if he’d Shou cut the thought of right there. He knew how to end the sentence; he just didn’t want to right now. It would be too terrifying to really think about it.

So instead he scrambled to his feet and smiled back at Michael, who wiped away the sweat from his brow.

“That’s great to hear. Are you going to go see him?”

“Around lunch,” Shou told him. He worried at his lip for a second. “Maybe after we eat?” The two of them had shared lunch and dinner ever since he arrived here.

Michael nodded. “What did you want to have today?”

Meals in XYZ weren’t the same as they were in Fusion. At least they weren’t now; Shou had heard more than one person sighing rapturously over memories of meals they couldn’t have anymore. More than once he’d been tempted to secretly slip over to Fusion and bring back enough food for everyone.

Only he couldn’t do that; he just couldn’t bring it all. So the best thing that he could do was just to help them be able to drive back the invading army. It would take a long time. Right now, XYZ didn’t have enough resources to give everyone a duel disk capable of creating solid monsters. Only those who were at the peak of their skills could be given one.

Which still meant that the Rebellion wasn’t nearly as well-populated as it could have been.

“Whatever you like,” Shou told him. He wasn’t going to start being picky now. He did fidget, though. “Would you like some tea?” He’d always had a knack for tea bushes and there was a nice little set that he’d been devoting extra attention to.

Michael nodded. “That sounds good. For dinner - I have a few ideas. Did you want to go to the mess tent or I can make it?” There was a bright twinkle in his eyes.

“You can?” Shou wondered exactly what Michael had in mind and looked forward to finding out. Today looked as if it were going to be one of the best days since he’d decided to check out Yuuri’s Garden.

The thought of Yuuri still chilled him and not in the way he’d learned to like after sitting next to Ryou. He wanted to think that they’d never see Yuuri again – that whenever Yuuri recovered from his garden’s frosting over, he would have the sense to avoid them.

Only while he wanted to think that, Shou couldn’t bring himself to believe that. When Yuuri recovered, he would come looking for everyone who had annoyed him and Ryou would be at the top of the list. All Shou could do was hope that Ryou would be able to stand against him when the time came.

Anyway. That would probably take a while. Ryou would be ready. Kamishiro-san would certainly have him well-trained in time. And there would be Mizael and Kei as well. Bonding improved someone’s powers quite a bit and certainly they would all be bonded sooner or later.

Shou wondered again when he might bond – and for the first time in his life, he had a very good idea of who he might bond to.

Mizael gathered up what he needed for the meal and started to put it together. He got it started early; most meals made in the camp right now were made in large portions for as many people as possible. But there were still a few people who took the time to make individual meals. Mizael had done this a few times, whenever he had the energy to do so.

Today certainly counted as one of those days. The talk he’d had with Ryou cleared up more than enough that he enjoyed the idea of cooking. To find that Ryou had wanted to come back – that he’d learned better – the only reason he wasn’t humming was because he didn’t want to. There was a very jaunty tune buzzing around in his thoughts, however.

We’ll have to have another duel. Oh, he really wanted that. He wanted to start over fresh, as if they’d just met one another. No more secrets to keep from one another, no more lies and no more of someone lurking just behind Ryou’s shoulders.

There was someone else in the kitchen area right now. That wasn’t a surprise, since most of the time when he was there, someone else rustled about making tea or cooking something. He gave the stranger enough of a glance to assure himself they weren’t going to bump into one another.

“Hey!” The stranger chirped far too cheerfully at him, waving one gloved hand. “Don’t think we’ve met.”

Mizael shrugged. “I don’t come in here that often. Taking care of my partner to be.” He knew that Ryou hadn’t made it official yet but that didn’t matter too much.

“Ah, that’s so sweet!” The other grinned, bending over the pot he stirred. “Oh, I should introduce myself! The name’s Dennis Macfield.” One hand twitched and a bouquet of flowers appeared from supposed thin air. Mizael had seen more than one street magician pull off the same trick but Macfield did it very well indeed.

“Mizael,” Mizael offered as he worked. “My partner is Marufuji Ryou.”

Dennis made a low whistling sound. “I’ve heard of him. Isn’t he one of those traitors from Fusion?”

Traitor? Most people around here called the four Fusion fighters defectors. At least the ones that Mizael had spoken to. He didn’t have much time to think about it, though, as he got into the business of making food.

“Yes, he defected. He’s a Frostflame now,” Mizael said. It wasn’t as if this was some kind of a secret.

“So I’ve heard,” Macfield agreed. “Well, best of luck to both of you.”

Dennis had practiced for a very long time to be capable of keeping his expressions the way that he wanted them, as opposed to whatever he was really feeling. So right now he kept that vast grin on his face when he wanted to snarl at the thought of that Frostflame, the one who had destroyed Yuuri’s Garden, being here.

He kept his attention on his own work for now. He hated making even the slightest slip and he’d already made one. He’d seen the startled expression across Mizael’s face when he’d called the traitor a traitor. But he covered that as best that he could and he didn’t think Mizael would follow up on it. He had a few ways to cover the mistake if need be.

He’d come here for two purposes – to keep an eye on Marufuji and an eye out for Kurosaki Ruri. At least until Yuuri recovered and could take care of matters for himself. Dennis knew that XYZ traitor watched over him, but that didn’t make Dennis himself feel better in any way. One couldn’t trust traitors. That was why they were traitors, after all.

But he couldn’t stay in Fusion. There wasn’t anything that he could do for Yuuri and the Professor didn’t want him there. He’d been told to get his cover for Standard set up. It might not be needed for a while but it would be a good idea to have it too solid for anyone to guess he wasn’t from there.

He’d already got that started. It really didn’t need his attention constantly and he could head back there every few days to keep it going with a few duels and a few magic shows. When he wasn’t there, he’d be here, watching on one traitor and one target.

And when he had an eye to spare, on that other Firestarter that Yuuri would definite need now.

Just like that, a perfect idea unfolded to him and it was all Dennis could do not to giggle out loud. He would have to wait a little while to pull it off, but he could, and that was the best part. Doing this would mean all of Yuuri’s targets ended up captured.

Oh, Yuuri was going to love this. Dennis could hardly wait to make it happen.

Yuuri didn’t bother trying to wake up. He knew that he wasn’t going to, not until his Garden thawed out and began to stir back into life. He could tell there were Firestarters working on that, but it would take days before they melted all the ice. So he just kept on sleeping and planning his revenge.

He didn’t have just revenge – though he would savor taking it on Marufuji, and he had so many plans for how to do that. He would start with that Cat and go on from there, including the Frostflame’s brother. It would be so sweet to hear them all beg for mercy – mercy that he’d never grant.

Yuuri could feel Vector’s presence so close to him. He couldn’t sense much else – maybe there wasn’t anything else. But he remained fully aware that Vector stayed near him and there was something that might have been gratitude for that – if he were anyone else but Yuuri. He would have to do something for Vector. He didn’t have any spare Firestarters now to give to him and Marufuji wasn't going to be in a position to bond to anyone once Yuuri dealt with him.

He would figure out something. Maybe there was a Firestarter who hadn’t started to attend Academia yet. They would be young, Vector seemed about his own age and most students started Academia at around eleven or twelve. But that was something else he could work out later.

Sometimes his eyes flickered and he thought he saw someone else there – the warm and reassuring presence that could only be Starve Venom Fusion Dragon. His dragon nudged at him, or made a movement in that direction. Yuuri couldn’t hear words but he knew that his dragon worried about him.

Of course I do, my hatchling. You are mine.

Yuuri wanted to think he’d heard that. It didn’t seem real but it also didn’t seem wrong. So he just closed his eyes and let himself rest. When he woke up and could walk on his own again, he could figure out if he’d really heard it or not.

He probably hadn’t. Though he’d thought many times before that Starve Venom had a certain presence about it, one that told him his beautiful ace creature approved of what he’d done and would continue to do.

And there was that odd feeling he woke up to every so often in the dead o night, the sensation that told him he should be able to reach out and touch someone else – someone as close to him as his Firestarter and yet nothing like any Firestarter that he’d ever met before.

He reassured himself that eventually he would figure it all out. He just had so much else that he needed to do.

He would get it all done. In time.

When he woke up.

Mizael stepped back into the medical tent. One of the other Healers hovered over Ryou, checking him out. To Mizael’s great relief, Ryou sat up, his eyes open, one hand raised so that the Healer could examine it. Both of them looked up as Mizael entered.

“I brought lunch,” he said, coming over carrying the bowl. “Are you hungry?”

Ryou’s stomach growled at once, fierce and loud and demanding. He’d also brought a plate of meat for Kei, settling it down next to him as he sat down. Ryou’s eyes fastened on the bowl.

“Those are noodles?” He asked, looking more than ready to devour the entire bowl without a break for breathing.

Mizael nodded, pulling the small table over with the bowl on it. “The whole thing’s for you. I’m not too hungry right now.”

Ryou didn’t argue. Instead he just started eating, while the attending Healer made a few notes and quietly dismissed himself. Mizael relaxed and watched, absolutely satisfied to see his Frostflame enjoying the results of his efforts. He looked forward to learning how to cook more things that Ryou would like to eat. He might have to talk to Kotori and see if she had nay suggestions… Frostflames didn’t eat just cold food but until their temperatures stabilized, cold remained the best.

“Shou should be coming shortly,” he said at last, once the first rush of Ryou’s eating passed. “And he’ll probably bring Michael along.”

One of Ryou’s eyebrows quirked. “So those two are getting along?”

“Very much so.” Mizael agreed. “I think you’ll like Michael. I want to talk to him, too. I’ve got something to ask.”

He could see the interest sparking in Ryou’s eyes then but refused to detail it out just yet. After all, surprises should remain surprises.

To Be Continued

Notes: Okay. Just one chapter left. I love how I ended it. And I hope that tomorrow, you do too.

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Rewards of Losing:  Chapter 8

Yuuri yawned; he wasn’t sure if it was from boredom or actual weariness. It was past sunset and he’d put in a very pleasant afternoon dueling as many people as he could. He darted across the dimensions, choosing places far away from where he knew the Professor’s focus remained. If the old man knew what he was doing, he could at least ensure that what he did didn’t interfere in the Professor’s war plans.

He would have all the time he wanted to do this publicly when the war got started. The idea of chasing down his victims, having them shriek in pain and terror – oh, he wanted that!

But for now, he admired the results of his work. A small pile of torn up cards that had once been people, with all of their life force now in his own precious card to be. He ran a finger down the pulsing face of it.

How long until you’re done? How long until I can use you?

There wasn’t an answer to that. The card only pulsed silently. Yuuri could feel every scrap of life that he’d put in there. Not enough, not nearly enough, not yet.

Maybe once the war started and he could start putting the souls of real duelists in there, those who could survive the chaos of war even if for a short time, it would go faster.

I wonder if I could put that Healer into this. What an interesting thought. He knew that the blond Healer would be desired by the Professor for his talent of Healing and his skills as a duelist. That gave the not-quite-poaching Healer a bit of protection from Yuuri.

How annoying. But nothing had been formally stated about this Healer. That meant he could be eliminated and simply claim that he hadn’t known any better. The Professor might scold him but it would be worth it.

If he’s sniffing around Marufuji... That annoyed him just to think about. But it spurred him to head back to Fusion and start to plan his next visit to XYZ.

He checked his messages as soon as he entered his room. As always when Yuuri was happy about something, the plants in his room wriggled and danced in pleasure, wriggling their leaves and whispering in that silent language. Something had pleased their master and that pleased them in return.

“At last,” he murmured. “At last.”

There on the screen of his PDA pulsed the message from the Professor.

In two days, at high noon, our glorious forces will enter the XYZ dimension and begin the process of conquest.

Below that came a list of the battalions and forces that would form the first wave. Yuuri wasn’t listed, but there was a second message just for him, requesting his presence in the Professor’s throne room as soon as possible.

It was late, but Yuuri headed there regardless. He had been told as soon as possible, after all.

The guards outside of the room allowed him in without a moment’s hesitation. On the other side, everything remained quiet and calm. Only Professor Akaba Leo remained on his throne. No signs of the scientists and teachers who usually attended him. Though they weren’t always there when Yuuri showed up.

He wondered at times if they avoided him out of fear. What a lovely thought.

“You called for me, Professor?” Yuuri asked, nodding at the leader of the Fusion dimension. He wasn’t exactly sure how far the Professor’s authority really extended, but here at Academia Island, it was absolute.

“Yes, Yuuri.” The Professor greeted him. “I assume that you saw the message that the invasion begins this weekend?”

“Of course.” Yuuri bared his teeth. “I look forward to it.”

“I don’t doubt that you do,” Akaba Leo agreed. “I have a very special task for you.” He gestured and an image of a girl appeared before him. “This is Kurosaki Ruri. She lives in the XYZ dimension. I want you to bring her to me – unharmed. And not carded. Duel her if you must to get her to come along, but other than that, not a hair on her head touched.”

Yuuri regarded her thoughtfully. Kurosaki. He recalled what Dennis had told him. She was the one who had the brother that he might be interested in. This would give him a good chance to check them both out.

“Of course, sir,” Yuuri agreed. The Professor regarded him carefully.

“She’s also a Firestarter. I presume that your courting of Marufuji is going well?”

The faintest flicker of annoyance twitched across Yuuri’s features. “For the most part. I visited him in XYZ earlier, when I found out about those Cats. There’s also that Healer I mentioned, the one who is also a reasonably talented duelist.” His lips curved quickly. “But I intend to duel him this weekend.”

Akaba almost smiled himself. “As I told you - recruit him for us, if he’s good enough. Or at least bring him back here so we can do the recruiting.”

Yuuri knew very well how the Academia could recruit people. Memories being tweaked and twisted and rewritten – memories were what gave one their values, after all. Take those memories away and change them, and those values were changed. He didn’t especially approve of that method. He far preferred the process of pain. So much more enticing.

“As you wish,” was all that Yuuri said out loud. He considered briefly before continuing. “Dennis has already told me about the Kurosakis. Her brother might be of interest to me.”

The Professor raised one eyebrow. “You’re already courting Marufuji. There’s no one else but you who could partner him. And vice versa.

“I’m aware of that, Professor,” Yuuri smiled his sweetest smile. “But I could have other uses for him. Not just as a Firestarter.”

“I see.” The Professor shrugged. “If you wish. When do you think you and Marufuji will be bonded?”

“After the war,” Yuuri told him. “Perhaps it could even be a celebration for a successful conquest.”

The Professor nodded. “I look forward to it. Bonding is a special event for all Healers and Firestarters.”

“Of course.” Yuuri turned and strolled out, smug smirk firmly in place. Everything continued to go his way.

I’m enjoying myself. Ryou hadn’t quite thought he would. He’d imagined it would be a not-horrible experience at best. But he hadn’t ever thought that he would genuinely enjoy himself.

It wasn’t just the good food. It was the simple fact that the more time he spent around Mizael, the more he liked being around him. If he didn’t have to keep that tiny part of himself eternally aware so he didn’t slip and admit his true history and his purpose in being in this world – it would have been even better.

As it was, he could let himself forget, if only for a little while. He could let himself think this was just an ordinary dinner, the kind that could happen between any two duelists.

Or any two people who might possibly have an interest in one another. Ryou hadn’t been very inclined to dating. It wasn’t always encouraged at Academia, at least not during one’s education years. After graduation, it wasn’t quite so looked down upon. There were exceptions – Fubuki, during his tenure there, had definitely gone out on dates even when he wasn’t supposed to.

Exactly how he’d gotten away with that baffled Ryou to do this day. Sometimes Fubuki had been called into meetings with teachers. He left those meetings as cheerfully as he entered them, and never spoke of detention or extra work or anything.

Sometimes Ryou wished that Fubuki were still around, just to ask him a few things. Especially tonight. Especially when he caught a glimpse of Mizael’s eyes.

Mizael’s eyes were blue, a beautiful shade that could not be compared to anything else Ryou could think of. Better than blue, there was a warmth in them, a flame that burned brighter than any Firestarter that Ryou knew, up to and including himself. He found himself wanting to spend more and more time just gazing into those eyes – a desire that he’d never had for anyone else as far back as he could recall.

He’d probably say that I should ask him on a actual date, just to be sure. Which wasn’t an inherently bad idea – if it weren’t for the simple fact that the invasion would be soon. He didn’t dare make any actual bonds in this place. It wouldn’t exist for much longer and anyone he knew here would quickly find out that he helped in its downfall.

“So you’re going to watch me duel your future Healer this weekend?” Mizael asked as the two of them headed out of the restaurant. Ryou nodded.

“Yuuri likes having people watch him. Especially me or Dennis.”

Mizael raised an eyebrow. “Dennis?”

“His best friend.” Ryou found himself once more ready to watch his words with care. “They’ve known each other for a long time.”

“Is he-” Mizael left it hanging, but Ryou figured out what the rest of the question was. He shook his head.

“Neither one. Yuuri doesn’t get along with most other Healers. The words fell out easily. As if he trusted Mizael. He didn’t think about it too hard right now. “I’ve never gotten along with most Firestarters either.”

He really hadn’t. It had been different when he was younger. But as he got older and they all realized that he outstripped them not just in dueling but in the use of his talent – almost all of the friends he’d made simply faded away, never to be seen again. For years Fubuki, Asuka, and Shou had been all that he had, with potentially Edo as well. But after he graduated, he wasn’t close enough to talk to Asuka and Shou every day, and Fubuki vanished years earlier.

The way that other Firestarters and even some Healers glanced at him, with tiny bits of fear in their eyes – he’d heard rumors that there wasn’t any Healer strong enough to be his partner. That his flames would overrun him sooner or later. No one had ever dared to whisper Frostflame around him. But even though they’d never said it, he knew that they thought it. The ultimate sad fate of those who could not bond – their flames turned in on themselves and became ice.

He’d heard it from that Cat already. He wasn’t going to hear it again. It wasn’t going to happen. He’d bond to Yuuri and then all of those whispers and rumors would flat out die.

All of that passed through his mind in a single breath. Mizael eyed him quietly.

“A lot of Healers think I’m weird because I prefer the Night Garden,” he said at last. “But some of the flowers there are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.”

Ryou nodded. He glanced ahead. “We’re almost there, aren’t we? The Night Garden.”

Mizael laughed when he glanced forward. “I hadn’t even thought about it. But care for a walk?”

Ryou had no objections. He would stay out as long as he could tonight and maybe by the time that he got back home, that Cat would have decided to leave. In truth, he couldn’t be so certain, but he hoped.

“It is beautiful,” he said as they passed through the Night Garden's gates. He considered before he said what came next. “Even more so than Yuuri’s.” That wasn’t a lie either. Yuuri wouldn’t have liked hearing it, but it was true.

“Oh? What are his gardens like?” Mizael wondered with an air of professional curiosity.

Ryou’s lips twitched. “Poisons. Lots of lots of poisonous plants. Usually the very beautiful ones. Oleander. Azalea.” He remembered Yuuri escorting him all around the garden, pointing out all of the beautifies of it and how poisonous they were. “Hemlock. Lilies of the valley. Wisteria.”

Mizael nodded. “I know some Healers who grow those too.” His eyes flicked ahead, then he reached to carefully break off a tiny bit of a vine. Ryou didn’t see which one it was, until Mizael closed his hand over it and concentrated. He’d seen this before – a Healer exerting their power on plants.

What he broke off grew into a slender vine, with pale violet flowers hanging from it. The Night Garden’s lights were more than enough for him to recognize what it was – wisteria.

Mizael regarded it thoughtfully. “Wisteria’s not a very deadly poison. But it is very beautiful.

“I know,” Ryou said, trying hard not to feel that vague pulse of warmth that came from deep within. IT wasn’t anything to do with being a Firestarter. But it had everything to do with the way that Mizael smiled at him.

“It’s part of your name, isn’t it?” Mizael asked. Ryou nodded. Yuuri had made the same comparison, shortly after their first meeting, praising how well their two namesakes poisoned people.

Yuuri had interesting tastes, one could say.

But he didn’t really want to think about Yuuri right now. Not Yuuri or the Fusion dimension or Professor Akaba Leo or anything but being in the Night Garden with Mizael. That was far more interesting than all the rest of it.

Mizael offered him the vine. “Keep it.”

Ryou’s hand reached for it at once. Then he forced it back down and turned away. “I can’t. You know I’m courting Yuuri.”

“I know he wants to be your Healer.” Mizael did not take the wisteria vine away. “But that’s not why I’m giving it to you. I don’t poach.” He pressed his lips together before he continued. “If you’re not interested I understand.”

Somewhere out there in the worlds, Ryou knew that Fubuki was now laughing at him. Only he would find someone interested in him who came from an entirely different dimension that would soon fall to the amassed might of the Fusion army.

It wasn’t the first time that people had made advances towards him. It hadn’t happened often, given Academia’s views on dating for students, but a few of them had made offers. He’d turned each and every one of them down. He’d had no time and no interest.

Now there was interest. But what there wasn’t was time. Only Leo knew the exact moment of the invasion but it would be far too soon for his taste.

So close and he knew there was far too much that he wanted to do. He wanted to spend more time with Mizael. As nerve-wracking as it was, he wanted to spend more time with Kei. He wanted to open more packs of cards and maybe even consider – though ultimately refuse, of course – what it might be like to have XYZ in his deck.

There was a whole new world in front of him that he’d never encountered before and he didn’t want to miss out on it.

Slowly he lifted his hand again and this time accepted the vine. It coiled around his fingers and Mizael’s. Wisteria could be poisonous to the touch, but not very much so, and Mizael’s power would keep even that away from him.

“And what if I am interested?” He asked at last. Mizael’s smile lit up the Night Garden more so than the lamps set all around.

“Then so am I.”

Akaba Leo considered what was about to happen. He had all the information that he needed. He’d arranged everything with Edo Phoenix, the leader of the army. All of his soldiers were ready. Almost all of his spies and assassins had been brought back home.

Only one remained – Marufuji Ryou. The message to return to Fusion had been sent to him as well but he’d not replied to it. Not even an acknowledgment that he’d read it.

Something wasn’t right there. He didn’t want to send Yuuri after the Firestarter, not just yet. It could be something as simple as Marufuji being on a mission and not having had the chance to check his home mail as of yet. Or, given the hour, he could have merely gone to bed early.

But if he didn’t return to Fusion, that would do nothing to stop the war. He might well get caught up in the battle himself. Leo trusted that he would know which side to fight on.

If one of those Cats has been tampering with him... He’d gone out of his way to ensure that no Healer Cats or Fire Cats lived in his Academia and that all of those who served him were bonded, with no need for the Cats.

Cats were – Cats. Cats were too intelligent. Cats were too powerful. Cats could not be taught or trained. Cats did what they wanted to do.

Rei had a Cat once. A beautiful Fire Cat. He didn’t remember the Cat’s name anymore, or what had happened to the Cat after Rei – after she – after what happened.

He clenched his teeth and shook his head. He did not want to even think about that. He was going to undo it, then he would absolutely destroy every last remnant of Zarc that existed in the four dimensions.

His lips thinned in satisfaction at the thought of using Yuuri to not only gather his daughter back to him but to get rid of his other selves as well. The boys might be innocent now, might have no idea of who they had been and who they could be again, but it didn’t matter. He would not allow them to find out anything more about themselves. He knew. That was enough.

Yuuri was too useful to dispose of just yet. If it happened after he bonded to Marufuji, then it would not be a bad thing to have another Healer ready and waiting in the wings. That one that Yuuri mentioned might make a suitable substitute, if properly retrained. Not every Firestarter could survive the loss of their Healer but it wasn’t unknown, either.

And of course, if it turned out that Marufuji did not have that strength, then so be it. He had been useful as well, but in the end, no one needed a Frostflame.

To Be Continued

Notes: So the Ryou x Mizael has begun at last. And now the invasion is on the brink of beginning. Teehee!

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Rewards of Losing:  Chapter 5

Ryou had the best of intentions to avoid Mizael. He would remain loyal to Yuuri. He would remain loyal to Academia. For those reasons, the following day he set off on a long walk through one of the business districts of Heartland. His goal was to reach one of the areas where duelists gathered, observe them, and select the most talented one that he saw to send his next challenge to. He made a point to choose a direction opposite to the Garden where he and Yuuri encountered Mizael.

In short, he did all that he was aware that he could do to avoid the blond Healer.

Now that he knew what to look for, he saw Healer Cats and Fire Cats with their partners. Once or twice he saw one of them glance in his direction, but it seemed no more than idle curiosity. Certainly they didn’t come over to talk, for which he found himself profoundly grateful.

None of them seemed to be that Healer Cat that he’d met before. That was even more reason to be grateful. He needed to stay as undercover as he could and the thought of railing at a Cat and demanding that it leave him be wasn’t very undercover.

Most of the duelists he saw here were children, young ones in their teens. Some of them were very good at what they did, but they weren’t the level of warrior that he was looking for. He stopped to watch a few of them, but always moved onward, searching for those who were beyond good. He wanted great. He wanted amazing. He wanted someone who could be his equal.

He saw none of them that came to his standards, and eventually wended his way into a small cluster of businesses quite a distance from where he’d started. None of these caught his proper attention – until he stopped and stared at one n particular.

A card store. He hadn’t shopped at a card store in ages. Not since he was a child, before he’d enrolled in Academia. After that, he’d had access to all of the cards Academia had, and had slowly built his deck by purchasing cards from there. It had been so very long since he had actually browsed for cards. He had purchased a D-Gazer and Duel Disk when he’d arrived here, for his ongoing commitment to blend in, but that was different.

He knew that he didn’t need to. But he stepped inside anyway, curiosity overwhelming his reluctance, and glanced around.

What he saw first were rows and rows of cards, many that he’d seen before, either from packs he bought himself as a child or ones that he saw in Academia’s records, or seen others playing. There were even a few that he had played himself – seeing Cyber Dragon there was more than a little startling.

Not Cyber End Dragon or Cyberdark Dragon, he reassured himself. Those were Fusion cards. They would not be here in the XYZ dimension.

“Welcome to – oh, it’s you.” A voice that he hadn’t expected spoke up. Ryou jerked his attention away from the cards to stare behind the counter where Mizael stood.

“What are you doing here?” The question fell from his lips without thought. Mizael shrugged.

“I work here.” His gaze flickered around. “Your Healer’s not with you?”

“He had to go home for a while. He’ll be back this weekend.” Ryou considered making an excuse and leaving. No, that would be a trifle too suspicious. Healers and Firestarters weren’t bound to go everywhere together, even in the courting stage. He was only here to look at cards and that wasn’t anything other than research.

Mizael nodded. Then a small smile flickered across his features. “I was hoping to see you regardless. I think I found something that you might like.”

Ryou’s eyes narrowed briefly. “What do you mean?” He refused to take more than a few steps past the door, not wanting to get any closer to Mizael. He didn’t think Mizael would do anything, but he wasn’t going to take that kind of chance.

Mizael dug around behind the counter. “I know you use Cyber Dragons and I remembered something I saw in Duel Magazine. So when I came in to work today, I looked for this.”

He set a card down on the counter, and against his better judgment, Ryou came closer. He stared down at it, eyes growing wider and wider with each moment.

“Cyber Dragon Nova,” he murmured the words. An XYZ Monster – an XYZ Cyber Dragon. He’d never seen anything like that in his life. The monster itself took several bits of other Cyber Dragons – he could identify Cyber End Dragon’s wings and Cyber Laser Dragon’s tail. There were several other pieces that all blended to create this magnificent creature.

It should have looked like an unholy amalgamation of pieces of his monsters. It didn’t. It was beautiful in its own way, and the longer he stared at it, the more he could feel there was awareness there as well.

“You can have it if you want it. Free of charge. I’ve never seen anyone else who uses Cyber Dragons, so I don’t think anyone’s going to buy it.” Mizael considered for a few seconds. “Well, there is something that you could do.”

Ryou’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?” His instincts flared, demanding that he leave, that he not listen to this for another moment. He wasn’t going to cheat on Yuuri. He wanted nothing to do with XYZ monsters.

But Mizael only smiled at him, a smile that had nothing of deceit or pain to it, or the desire to possess a strong Firestarter. “Have dinner with me. I beat you in a duel once – buying you dinner is the least I can do. It’s not a courting thing. I know you’re already courting Yuuri. I can show you places where you could take him, as well.”

Ryou mentally worried at the notion. But not for long.

“When?” That card called to him. He could put it in no other way. He had never seen anything like it before and while he would never, ever use it – he was a Fusion user until the day that he died – but he wanted to own it. If cards had voices, that one whispered in his ear and demanded to stay with him.

Mizael smiled. “Are you busy tonight? I can pick you up around six?”

Ryou tried not to let his tension show at that. “Where can I meet you, instead?”

Mizael didn’t seem bothered at all by that. He named a place, one that Ryou had heard of before. He’d heard good reports about it despite not ever being there himself.

“All right. I’ll see you tonight.” He glanced down at the card as Mizael pushed it towards him.

“Keep it. There are other cards you’d probably want to go with it, to truly make an XYZ deck. There was a recent expansion pack released that focused on the Cyber archetype and it had quite a few cards that could be useful there.” Mizael tapped his fingers thoughtfully. “But that was the only one of them I could find.” He gestured to the packs on display. “If you bought some of these you’d probably find them in there.”

Ryou eyed the packs. He knew that he didn’t want to use XYZ. But he also knew that he needed to keep his cover, and everyone used XYZ here. Seeing XYZ cards with his archetype sparked something deep inside of him. He wasn’t certain right now if it were rage – or curiosity.

He won’t need to know. The invasion is coming soon. He’ll either be carded or captured very soon.

He gathered up half a dozen of the packs. “We’ll see,” he said, as noncommittally as he could. It had been a long time since he’d whiled away an afternoon looking at new cards.

By the time Yuuri woke the morning after he returned from XYZ, he’d calmed down to a degree that his rage wasn’t setting off all of his flowers. He also had an idea, and as soon as he’d dealt with breakfast and feeding his plants, he settled into his workroom.

He might have stayed there without speaking to another soul all day if casual footsteps didn’t come from outside, and the outer plants whispered to him who was coming. He pulled himself out of his work in time to answer when Dennis spoke.

“Do I even want to know what you’re doing?”

“Making a little something for my future Firestarter,” Yuuri said, brushing his fingers across the scarlet blossoms. “I don’t quite trust him over there by himself all the time. So he won’t be.”

Dennis wrinkled his nose as he stared. “That’s red salvia, isn’t it?”

“That it is.” Yuuri caressed it again. It would not be easy to get this to do what he wanted, since salvia was quite the stubborn plant. But he wasn’t a Healer for nothing. “You’re learning plants very well. Do you remember the meaning of this one?”

Dennis tilted his head, settling down on one of the couches in the nursery as he did. “Not really.”

Of course he hadn’t. That was too much to expect. But he was neither Healer nor Firestarter and so it couldn’t be expected of him.

“The meaning depends on the color. But red means forever mine.” Yuuri smiled. “I don’t want him to forget and start eyeing someone else.”

Dennis laughed. “But it would be different if you found someone else, wouldn’t it?”

In a breath Yuuri stared at him. “What do you mean? He’s the strongest Firestarter that I’ve met. No one else would be worthy of me.” No one else could be as useful as Marufuji would be once they bonded.

Dennis’s grin fit to split his face as he lounged back, arms spread over the back of the couch. “I was in XYZ too, you know.”

Of course Yuuri knew that. He’d known for months about Dennis’s spying trip. It wasn’t the same as why Marufuji there there; the Cyber Dragon duelist searched for powerful duelists to card and dispose of before the invasion began. Dennis searched for what was necessary to begin the invasion itself.

“And?” He bit the word off sharply. He wanted Dennis to get to the point, if that were possible.

“The Professor wanted me to find a girl. You’d think we had enough of them, but apparently he wants one in particular.” Dennis shrugged. “I did find her, though. And even better for you – I found her brother.”

Dennis leaned forward, eyes bright and sharp. Very few saw him like this, most believing his jester’s mask. Yuuri knew better. Yuuri had always known better.

“Her name is Kurosaki Ruri. His is Kurosaki Shun.”

The name meant nothing to Yuuri. He waited for more and Dennis didn’t fail to deliver.

“If Marufuji’s a perfect ten, then I’d say Kurosaki is at least a nine and a half.” He waved one hand. “But I think you’d be more interested in him for another reason.”

Yuuri tapped his foot ever so lightly. He’d already put a lot of work into Marufuji and he wasn’t going to let it slide without a far better reason than he’d been given so far.

“He has a best friend, named Yuuto. Never caught his family name. But this Yuuto -” Dennis let loose with a predatory smile. “He has different hair and eyes. But he looks just like you. And he’s a Healer, too. I think they’re courting one another.” He waved one hand carelessly. “Not that that would matter to you, would it?”

Yuuri pressed his lips together. He’d never seen anyone who looked like him before. He wasn’t at all certain that he liked the idea, though he wasn’t sure of what to do about it.

How dare he have my face? He fought to keep his anger under control. The plants all around swayed and waved and wriggled, however, making it very plain that he wasn’t doing a very good job o it. He drew in a breath and shrugged.

“I’d have to see him for myself to be certain.” Truth to tell, he’d never seen a Firestarter as strong as Marufuji. The thought that such a one could exist intrigued him. “Do you know what kind of a duelist he is?”

“I haven’t had the chance to talk to either of them. The Professor didn’t want me to get too close.” Dennis shrugged. “But I did see them both dueling. I believe he uses Raid Raptors.”

That meant next to nothing to Yuuri. He would have to research when the opportunity presented itself.

Then another point occurred to him and the smile on his face mirrored that of Dennis. “Does this mean the invasion will be starting soon?” Oh, he hoped so. To see the carnage and destruction that would unfold – Yuuri could hardly wait.

“It could very well be.” Dennis gave an eloquent shrug of his shoulders. “You’d have to ask the Professor about that.”

Yuuri nodded before he turned his attention back to the flower before him. He needed a sprig of this sealed in crystal; even if he chose to take a different Firestarter, until he made that decision, he wasn’t going to give up on Marufuji. And that meant keeping an eye on him, no matter what.

There were no better eyes for a Healer than a flower they’d crafted with their own hands.

Kei ghosted along through the streets, keeping his attention on Marufuji Ryou. The Firestarter hadn’t noticed him, which wasn’t a surprise. If they’d been bonded already, he would have known. But right now, Kei was more cat than Healer so far as Ryou’s senses would be aware. At least until Kei wanted him to feel his power, as he had the previous night.

The Healer Cat already knew where Ryou lived. He could have hurried on to beat him there. But he wanted to track the other and ensure that he didn’t take any turns anywhere else. Ryou remained doing things Kei would prefer that he not do, which meant Kei wanted to keep an eye on him.

Cats watched. It was what they did.

But this time it appeared that Ryou had nothing more nor less on his mind than going back to the little apartment and curling up with the new cards that he’d purchased. Kei approved. He was a creature of XYZ and the more that Ryou connected to XYZ cards, the better Kei liked it.

There was another reason he watched, a reason that ghosted along beside of Ryou, and cast sharp, amused glances towards Kei from time to time. Ryou couldn’t see, of course. Perhaps he might one day, but right now he seemed focused only on getting back home.

Cyber Nova Dragon tendered a curious look now towards their new duelist. They hadn’t been officially added to Ryou’s deck but when that happened, they would be able to interact with the other spirits of it. Kei could feel those spirits all but straining at the barriers between decks and the human world, wanting to know more about Cyber Nova Dragon.

Probably wanting to know more about him as well. There had never been a Cat born that couldn’t see spirits and spirits all knew that. They knew when someone could see them and when they couldn’t.

That was one of the reasons Kei knew something was going wrong in the city. There weren’t as many spirits as there had been six months ago, and when he could speak to some of the stray ones, they knew that friends of theirs who were involved with duelists vanished.

It had all started around the time that Ryou himself came to town. Kei watched him for days before realizing he was the one responsible for it. He still wasn’t certain of why but he would make certain it stopped. He just wasn’t certain of how.

He settled himself outside of the apartment building and stared up at the window he knew was Ryou’s. He could see a familiar figure moving behind the curtains. He waited until he knew the moment was right, then leaped upwards, claws catching on the balcony, and pulled himself up onto it. He took a few moments to get his fur back in order before he moved forward and nudged at the balcony door. It came open easily; this was a place built for Firestarters and Healers, and several of those had Cats of their own. All of the doors were built so that those of the four footed persuasion could open them.

The moment he crossed into it, he could feel the presence of something that other Healer, the one from wherever Ryou was from. Not as strong as if he were there himself, but something of his was. Kei sniffed until he spied the flytrap on the table, then strolled over there casually.

What do you want, Cat? The flytrap murmured in that subtle language of leaf and shadow that all plants spoke. Kei spoke back in the tongue of Healers.

I could ask you the same thing.

If it had possessed the ability, the flytrap would have drawn itself up and sniffed. Guarding the one my creator chooses.

Kei sniffed, tail twitching. He is my Firestarter as well.

The flytrap wriggled the tiniest bit. Most plants weren’t capable of independent movement but those created and bred by Healers tended to not strictly obey the rules.

No! He is Yuuri-sama’s! It is decided!

Kei’s tail lashed slowly from side to side, claws flexing. It’s his decision and no one else’s. But he still knew that Ryou was his Firestarter – it might take time for Ryou to believe that, but he needed a Healer or a Healer Cat. So far as Kei knew or cared, both he and Mizael were far more suitable than anyone else.

Together they could handle what Ryou would become. He didn’t trust that this “Yuuri” person could.

To Be Continued

Notes: So now the invasion looms closer and Ryou has his first XYZ card – which was actually the original plot seed for this. That Ryou found the XYZ Cyber Dragons in Heartland and became intrigued, which led to him meeting Mizael and eventually changing sides. Then I rewrote it all in this AU where things are a little different.

And yes, Kei is arguing with a plant. Healers and Healer Cats can do that. Firestarters have been known to have long-standing arguments with fire. Don’t even ask about the situation with volcanoes.

Lastly, now Yuuri knows Shun exists. You may hear my evil cackling from here.