#no matter how much Jared is trying to convince himself and others it will happen

[laf-outloud]

canvas.asylum Jared Padalecki Talks Super Natural Reboot

He also talks about playing Sam (and others), and that "he's still in here." 😢

[let-me-luve-you]

The Scared Runaway

Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader

Summary: The reader finds out life changing news and she is scared of what her family will think, especially her father.

Warnings: Teenage Pregnancy, Angst, Teenage Runaway,

MASTERLIST

Your heart stopped as you looked down at the two lines. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you thought about what it meant. You sat down on the floor staring into space thinking about how your life was now changing. 

Pregnant. 

You were pregnant. 

You were 17 and pregnant.

You stayed locked in the bathroom until you heard your little brother knock on the door to tell you dinner was ready. You told him you would be there shortly. You got up and grabbed the test and box. You ran to your room to hide it in your bedside table. 

Dinner tonight was just your younger sisters, brother, and stepmom. When you sat down, Danneel instantly noticed something was off about you. She also noticed your red eyes. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” She asked quietly as not to worry your siblings. 

“I’m fine.” You said while trying to give a convincing smile. As you sat quietly at dinner, you tried to think how you were going to tell your dad. He wasn’t going to be happy with you at all. You started thinking of how he might kick you out. Not wanting you around your siblings because you were a horrible role model. 

“I’m done. Thank you Dee for dinner.” You said getting up. Not waiting to be excused, you grabbed your plate to put in the sink. You ran to your room. You shut and locked the door behind you. You knew your dad was coming home late tomorrow night which gave you roughly 24 hours to figure out how to handle everything. 

As you laid on your bed thinking about how to tell your dad, you couldn’t quit thinking about all of the negative outcomes. He was going to disown you. He was going to kick you out. He wasn’t going to help you. As the thoughts ran wild in your head, you heard a knock

“Y/N, I’m going to bed. If you need me or need to talk, you know where to find me.” You heard Dee said. 

You stayed quiet. Making Dee sigh and walk away. You knew you were already disappointing her so you did the only thing that made sense in that moment. You packed a bag to leave on your own terms. 

You packed as much as you could in your giant rolling suitcase. You grabbed your school bag and put your laptop in it. Once your bags were packed, you grabbed a piece of paper and started a note to your father. 

Daddy. I’m sorry. I’m a failure as a daughter. I won’t tell you what I did, but I will tell you I know if you knew what I did, I would disappoint you. I can’t do that. I don’t want to see the anger in your eyes. It’ll be better this way. I’m leaving to protect you, Dee, and the little ones. I’m not the role model they deserve. I hope one day you can understand. Just know I will always love you and be grateful to have you as my father. Don’t look for me. Just let me go. 

Y/N

You fought back the tears as you left the note on your desk. You grabbed your bags and quietly left your room and the place that once kept you safe from the real world. You started walking towards Gen’s and Jared’s house. Thinking maybe you can spend the night before you move on to the next place. 

You were shocked at who opened the door after you knocked. “Uncle Jared? What are you doing home? You aren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow.” 

He laughed, “Well we got done early so me and your dad flew back early. What are you doing here?” He asked. He frowned when he saw your suitcase. “And what are you doing here with a suitcase?”

“I was uh…” you stumbled over the words. “I was hoping I could crash here for the night, if that’s okay?”

“And you needed your Vancouver suitcase for a night over here?” He said skeptically. 

“Uh yeah. Couldn’t find my other one.” You said thinking on your feet. He nodded and let you in. As you went to the guest room, Jared heard his phone go off. He looked to see Jensen calling. He answered. 

“Jared.” Jensen said, sounding out of breath and panicked. “Y/N left. She’s not here. I need help finding her. She left a note for me. I can’t…”

“Calm down Jay. She’s here. She's at my house.” Jared said. 

“What is she doing there?” Jensen asked. Jared looked around making sure you hadn’t come into the living room. 

“I’m not sure. Said she wanted a place to crash for the night.” Jared walked quietly to the guest room. He saw you asleep on the bed, still dressed in your jeans and shoes. “Why don’t you come over? She’s asleep, but I feel like something is bothering her.”

“I’ll be there in 5.” Jensen said. 

“Doors open. Let yourself in.” Jared said before hanging up. 

Jensen rushed into the living room to see Jared sitting on the couch drinking a beer. 

“What’s going on man? Why did she run?” Jared asked once he noticed Jensen in the room. 

“I’m not sure. Said she did something I would be disappointed in. That she was leaving to protect us. Her job isn’t to protect us. It’s mine to protect her. Jared, she’s my baby girl. I can’t lose her.” Jensen said as he teared up. 

Jared looked at his friend. Almost breaking at seeing the strongest person he knows struggling. “It will be okay. Stay here tonight. Be here when she wakes up. Talk to her. Let her know that no matter what, you are there for her. To support her. That there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that she could do to make you disown her or turn your back on her.”

Jensen nodded as he looked at his best friend. He sighed before turning to look towards the guest room. He walked towards the room and let himself in. He saw you asleep in jeans and shoes. He quietly walked over to you and pulled your shoes and socks off. 

You stirred in your sleep and noticed your dad taking your shoes off. “Dad?” You said quietly. Jensen almost didn’t hear it. “What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you the same question.” He said with a sad laugh. “Talk to me baby girl. What made you run?”

“I can’t tell you.” You said looking away from him. 

He pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, “You can tell me anything and I will always listen and be here for you.”

“Not this. You won’t look at me the same. You’ll hate me.” You said. 

“I will never hate you. Just talk to me. I’m here to listen to you and offer any advice I can.” Your dad said as he made you look at him. You started to cry. 

“I’m sorry.” Jensen pulled you into his chest. Jared leaned on the door. Being there for additional support for his niece. Someone he has watched grow. “I’m so sorry daddy.” You repeated. 

“It’s okay baby. What are you doing apologizing for?” Jensen asked. 

“I’m...I’m pregnant.” You said. Jensen froze for a second before he continued to rock you to help calm you down. He looked over at Jared with sad, shocked eyes. 

“Shhhh. You’re okay.” Your dad whispered as he held you tighter. Jensen’s thoughts were running wild. Thinking about how his baby girl was going to have a baby. “You’re okay Y/N/N. You’re okay.” He kissed the top of your head. “I will support you with whatever you decide. I will be there for you every step of the way.”

You pulled away and looked at him with tears still falling at a fast rate. “You aren’t kicking me out?”

“No baby. I’m not. I would never do that.” Jensen said as he wiped some of the tears from your face. “Is that why you ran? Because you thought I would kick you out?” You nodded your head. “Well I’m not.”

“Even if he did, you always have a room here Goober.” You heard Jared say while using the nickname he gave you when you were three. “You will always be welcome here. And I’m going to support you too. No matter what decision you come to with how you want to handle this.”

“Thank you Uncle Jared. I love you.” You said getting up from the bed to give him a hug. He squeezes you tightly before kissing your head. 

“Love you too.” He said before looking at your dad. “You’re both welcome to stay if you want. Or if you leave, just set the alarm. I’m going to bed. Night.” He said as he walked to his room. 

You sat back on the bed, anxiously picking at your fingers. Your dad noticed and grabbed your hands so you would stop. 

“Let’s go home. We can talk some more when we get there.” Your dad said as he passed your shoes to you and grabbed your bags. “I’ve got the car out front so don’t worry about putting your shoes on.”

As you walked back into your room. You crawled into bed. All the emotions from the day catching up with you. 

“Can we talk more in the morning? It’s been an emotionally draining day.” You said quietly to your father. 

He nodded, “We can. But don’t think you are getting out of this.” 

“I’m not.” You said. “Will you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course.” He crawled into bed and pulled you close to him so you could lay your head on his chest. Just like you did when you were younger. “I just want you to know, I was only a few years older than you when you were born. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I was terrified. Especially since I had to raise you on my own. Anytime I felt like I was failing or felt I should quit acting, you would give me this gummy smile and would giggle. It would just light up my world and make me keep fighting for the life I wanted for you. For us. I didn’t give up and I won’t let you. I love you Y/N Y/M/N.”

“I love you too dad. I’m sorry for scaring you and leaving.” You said as you hugged him. 

“Just don’t do it again and I will forgive you.” He said giving you a kiss on the head. “Now get some rest. We can talk more in the morning.”

You smiled knowing that your dad still loved you. Knowing you had support through these challenging times. Snuggled up to your dad, you had one of the best sleeps you’ve had in a while.

[theatreslave]

Recovery Ch 2

Second Chapter of my Manifest Fic Jared/Drea Fic

By the end of their first week as partners, Jared and Drea had gotten into an easy routine. Jared, like the lieutenant he is, would arrive at the precinct first. He would drop off a cup of coffee at Drea’s desk and then head over to his own. Drea would arrive a half hour later with some breakfast for the both of them, some days she would make something and other days she would grab something nearby.

Then they both would both be at their desks looking over files until one or the other needed some type of consultation. It was surprisingly easy. The banter was fast and snarky which fit their dynamic. When they were out in the field, Drea didn’t mind letting Jared take the lead. He was an amazing detective and seeing him in action first hand was a treat for her. Things had been pretty standard since Michaela left, thankfully no 828er drama or anything from the Xers. Just your run of the mill robberies, domestics, and crimes of passion.

Jared had been over to Drea’s two more times since that first night. Once to cook for her to prove that he wasn’t a terrible cook after a disagreement over tastes in pizza, long story. The next time was to watch a horror movie that Drea insisted that Jared wouldn’t be able to get through; he didn’t. At least not without turning all the lights on and some cuddles from Mimi.

Jared was surprised by how easy it was to get along with Drea without Michaela around. He had thought it might be awkward without a common denominator, but it was anything but. Drea was charming. As simple as that. She was always smiling, playful, and endlessly curious. Opinionated and stubborn. It made for some hilarious conversations and interesting bets between them. But she was also an incredibly competent detective. He had seen her put her rich upbringing to use, from finding connections to get them into exclusive illegal online auctions, to clearance for an emergency helicopter landing on private property. She could slip from one persona to the next seamlessly, happy-go-lucky rookie to experienced and connected detective. And Jared liked her. Not like that. But he enjoyed her company and was honestly happy to call her his friend.

Drea on the other hand was surprised to learn that Jared really did have a life outside of his Michaela obsession and his romantic escapades. He took hikes on his own and knew all the trails around the greater New York area. He loved cooking and playing cards. He was also as charming as could be. She knew he was handsome, everybody did. When she had started with the precinct she noticed, but he was married back then so she didn’t bat an eye. But having his attention on her, his focus, occasionally made her blush. Not that she liked him like that. She was actually very happy to call him a friend. Jared didn’t seem to mind her invites or challenges and that was all the encouragement she needed.

It was the end of a long Saturday that had them running around in search of a kidnapped child. Thankfully the culprit had a soul and only wanted the car. They dropped the kid off in a park and his parents’ stranger danger training had kicked in and he had run into a school that happened to have after school programs. The relief that had travelled through everyone in search of this child was palpable. By dumb luck a rookie had stumbled upon the stolen vehicle on the way home in Queens. The culprit had been arrested, the parents and child reunited, and all was well.

Jared was in a jovial mood after the day’s successes. He was perched on the corner of Drea’s desk urging her to hurry up with the paperwork for the day so they could grab dinner, “Come on Mikami, you can type faster than that.”

Before Drea could respond her cell phone rang. Recognizing the name she swept it up and shushed Jared, “Hi Mom.”

Jared smirked and decided to have a little fun. He made his way around the desk to stand behind her. Speaking louder than normal he said, “Drea, baby, hurry up, I wanna take you out.”

Drea smacked his arm hard, sending him into a fit of laughter. The few officers still at the precinct just ignored the two’s antics, a familiar sight already. “No Mom, that was nothing. Just my partner messing with me. Yeah, yeah don’t worry about it.”

Jared proceeded to poke her lightly but quickly in the side making her yelp. Before he could run, Drea was up, had tripped him, and had him in a headlock. Jared sputtered, turning red with amusement and embarrassment at his new position.

“Oh nothing Ma, I just stubbed my toe. Yes I will be careful. Don’t listen to him Mom, you know I have coworkers over sometimes. It’s nothing weird.” Drea squeezed a bit tighter when Jared tried to pry her arm away. He finally stopped struggling when he realized how strong she really was. “I know Mom, but do I have to? I told you I could take care of it. Mom, please? Fine, but I’m bringing my partner with me. Ok bye.”

Drea ended the call then proceeded to give Jared a noogie, “Hey watch the hair!”

“You idiot! You’re lucky my mom is hard of hearing or she would have had a heart attack. I’ve already had to convince her that you coming over was nothing. She’s already on my ass about being paired with ‘unseemly men’ all the time.” Drea said finally relinquishing her hold on Jared.

“Unseemly?” Jared said, loosening his tie, “Was the head lock really necessary?”

Drea smacked him again, “Grab your stuff and go home and shower and get into a new suit. I will pick you up in an hour and you are coming with me to this fundraiser my cousin is throwing.”

“Oh no no no, you are not dragging me along to one of your rich people functions,” Jared insisted.

“There will be free gourmet food and I will buy you those new Nike’s when they get released next week.” Drea bargained.

Jared held her gaze for a long moment then finally caved, “Deal.”

“Ok then I will see you in a little over an hour. Bye!” Drea said before hurriedly packing her things and then rushing out the door.

Jared stood in shock, wondering exactly what he got himself into, before he headed out the same way.

He didn’t want to look like a complete fool so he had opted for his higher end deep navy suit and brown shoes and belt. Jared’s shirt was a light yellow and his tie matched with a deep blue and yellow pattern, perfect for spring. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and nodded his head. Not too shabby considering it was last minute. Honestly he probably should have asked Drea what exactly to wear. His phone chimed telling him that Drea was waiting outside for him.

Drea was waiting in her car, waving for him to hop in. Once he was buckled in he finally had a chance to take a look at Drea all dressed up. She was wearing a soft blue lace dress that reached her knees. It had cap sleeves and a rounded neckline. Her hair fell in soft waves and was longer, down to mid-back.

“Are you wearing extensions?” Jared finally breathed out.

“Yea, my mom likes it better when I have longer hair,” Drea replied, focusing on the road.

Jared couldn’t stop himself and reached out to play with an errant curly, “I really like it.”

Drea turned to him, surprised, “Don’t go falling for me now, Vasquez.”

Jared just laughed, “Not falling. Just appreciating that my usually childish partner can actually look like a beautiful grown woman.”

“You clean up pretty great too. We even match a little,” Drea glanced at him with a smile, “ Anyway, I just need you to mingle with me and protect me from my dad’s creepy business partners and hopefully deter my mum from trying to introduce me to any of their sons.”

“And your mom will stop because I’m around?” Jared asked.

“She assumes that I’m dating any man I talk to, no matter what I say otherwise. Bringing you to a function will get rumors going and the damage control will get her off my back. Oh and don’t take any bribes from her or her butlers,” Drea rambled.

“So I’m your date?” Jared said with a smirk.

“Technically, so don’t go flirting with anyone or my mother might have you shipped off somewhere. She might not like me “dating” but she will raise hell if anyone cheats on me,” Drea warned.

Jared couldn’t help but laugh, “This might actually be fun. How much PDA would freak out your hoity toity rich friends?”

“They barely shake hands, let alone hug. But don’t get any ideas,“ Drea managed to glare at Jared who just raised his hands in defeat.

They approached a large venue with a sprawling lawn and a circular valet drop off. Jared was distracted by the sheer size of the place and the extravagant cars that were being valeted off to a hidden parking lot. “Hey, Drea?”

Jared turned to his partner only to see her handing her keys off to a valet boy. It was then that he noticed her demure lace dress was actually backless, showing off her clear skin and an intricate moon phase tattoo down her spinal column. Just like her hair, he felt his fingers twitch, wanting to touch the tattoo. But she turned. “Are you nervous? You don’t have to be. I promise they are mostly nice, just a bit snooty. Just go with the flow, eat the food, and then I can take you home.”

“Your place or mine?” Jared said absentmindedly, the image of her bareback glued to his sight.

Drea just smacked his shoulder and then started walking into the venue. Jared shook his head and then followed her up the stairs and between the columns of marble. He cursed under his breath. Seeing her looking so different from her rather tomboy-esque persona at work was having an odd effect on him. He took a deep breath. She’s just a friend. A good friend. Don’t mess this up.

Jared stood next to Drea at the entrance of a ballroom. There were quite a few people making small talk, sitting at various tables, and drinking champagne. Jared took Drea’s hand and placed it on the crook of his arm. She seemed nervous but she latched onto his arm, turned to him and smiled, then pulled him along.

A few people waved at her, some greeted her as she walked by, but thankfully no one stopped them or asked her about her date. The tables seemed to be assigned and soon Drea stopped in front of a round table that already had a severe looking older asian woman and a softer looking older asian man seated.

“Hi Mom. Hi Dad.” Drea said in greeting. The two elders stood up, hugging their daughter and sneaking glances at Jared, “This is my partner, Lieutenant Jared Vasquez.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jared offered his hand for a shake but the two just nodded their heads.

“I am Eileen Tamaki and this is my husband, Akimitsu Tamaki.” Eileen said, looking at Jared up and down. Akimitsu who had been staring intently finally smiled then reached out a hand to shake Jared’s. Jared didn’t know what was going on but shook his hand and even bowed a little not wanting to be rude, despite the earlier rejection.

“I have seen you on the news Lieutenant. I knew you were familiar, it took me a moment to place you. You have solved many cases in this city of ours, it is my pleasure to meet you. It makes me feel relieved to have you working with my daughter in such a dangerous field,“ Akimitsu praised, his eyes glowing with kindness.

“It’s my pleasure, sir. Your daughter is a great detective. I can always rely on her.” Jared replied sincerely.

“Come and sit, before the others arrive,” Her father gestured to the table. The size and roundness of the table caused Jared and Drea to sit across from her parents so it would be easier to talk. Eileen still had a stoniness to her visage while Akimitsu was already making small talk.

“Drea didn’t you have anything else to wear?” Eileen finally chimed in hushed tones.

“Eileen, leave her alone. She’s a grown woman, she can wear what she wants.” Akimitsu interrupted. “She looks lovely and I’m sure Jared agrees with me.”

“She looks beautiful,” Jared agreed.

Drea blushed at their defense, not noticing the very different looks her parents were sending Jared’s way. Before anything more could be said, two women who looked around Drea’s age came up to the table greeting everyone. The taller redhead was named Katrina, and her blonde friend was named Melody. Drea greeted them warmly as they took seats next to her. Before Jared could be introduced, two younger men joined the table as well. Katrina’s husband, Caleb, and Melody’s fiance, Ivan.

“The youth have arrived my dear, it is time we move to our own table now that we have seen Drea,” Akimitsu said as he stood up, offering his hand to his wife.

“I knew you weren’t assigned to sit with me, Uncle Rico would have been jealous,” Drea said as she waved to her parents. Eileen and Akimitsu said their farewells, nodding to Jared, before making their way across the ballroom.

“So Drea, introduce us,” Katrina giggled, gesturing towards Jared. Drea smiled awkwardly as the rest of the table made noises of agreement.

Jared decided to grant her some mercy and introduced himself, “I’m Jared Vasquez, Drea’s partner. It’s nice to meet you all.”

“Drea! Where have you been hiding him?” Melody asked excitedly, “If I didn’t have Ivan around I would have had to steal Jared away.”

Jared just threw an arm around Drea’s shoulders, “I’m definitely not that easy to steal away.”

Ivan chuckled, “I don’t know, Jared, she managed to pull me away from Major League baseball, she’s incredibly convincing. Still not sure if it was worth it though.”

“Hey!” Melody retorted, flicking water at her fiance, “That’s why you’re gonna marry me!”

“I know, what am I thinking,” Ivan faked a look of regret before smiling, “Don’t go flirting with Drea’s man, Mel, it isn’t me you’ll have to worry about.”

“Yeah Mel, you know how protective Drea is. She would literally fight you if you touch her man, remember, Isaac?” Katrina said.

“Jared’s not my man, he's just my partner. I’m never going to live that down, am I?” Drea said, letting out a short laugh.

“Dumping a glass of wine on Mel’s white Versace gown because she flirted with your man at her birthday party was a bit too dramatic to be forgettable,” Caleb finally joined the conversation, “We all know that Mel’s a flirt, Drea, but you were so far up that guys ass.”

“Don’t remind me. Sorry, about that again Mel. Really.” Drea said looking embarrassed.

“It’s old news Drea, no worries. You ended up getting the short end of the stick on that one,” Mel said looking sympathetic.

“Hey, hey, no walking down ‘bad memory lane.’ Drea is safe and sound with a hottie on her arm, and looking sexy as ever. Don’t think I didn’t notice the open back on that dress,” Katrina interrupted, expertly changing the subject.

Jared found himself lost in thought as they started talking about outfits and some fashion show. He was curious about Isaac. Who was he and why was he such a sore spot? He was so lost in thought he didn’t realize that he was absentmindedly playing with Drea’s hair.

Melody leaned in to whisper into Drea’s ear,”He’s cute Drea, and he seems to really like you.”

“It’s not like that, he’s just my partner at work, I brought him so Mom wouldn’t try to introduce me to anyone tonight,” Drea whispered back.

“I don’t know, Drea, he seems very affectionate. Act or not, he’s comfortable around you, and you are with him. Maybe it’s a game right now but keep an open mind. I think he would be good for you,” Melody said with a smile.

Two more men joined the table. A slightly older man who greeted Drea warmly. Apparently her cousin Julian, the one putting on the fundraiser. The last was a tall handsome Korean man named Kevin who seemed to immediately dislike Jared and his proximity to Drea. Jared made a point to lean closer to Drea, feeling oddly protective seeing the way the man eyed her hungrily.

“Julian, Kevin, this is my partner, Jared Vasquez, he’s helping me deter mom from throwing me to the wolves,” Drea said.

“He’s definitely an upgrade from the last man you introduced us to, Drea,” Julian joked before reaching out to shake Jared’s hand, “Nice to meet you, man. Be careful with the elder Mikami. She’s been trying to get Drea married off for years. Every event I throw inadvertently gets turned into a speed dating event for Drea. I’m happy she found a friend willing to put up with it to spare her some embarrassment.”

“My pleasure, Drea’s a great partner,” Jared said, throwing a fond smile her way.

“Nice to meet you,” Kevin said stiffly as he shook Jared’s hand. He then turned to Drea, “If you needed a date you could have asked me Drea.”

“Oh stop it Kevin, you’re one of the ones that Mrs. Mikami would force Drea to marry. You know Drea, she wants a ‘normal guy’,” Katrina said bluntly.

“Guys, just stop. I’m not getting married anytime soon to anyone,” Drea said with a hint of frustration, “Can we talk about Mel and Ivan finally getting engaged after 7 years.”

Julian and Kevin took the last two seats at the table across from Jared and Drea. The group started talking jovially about Melody and Ivan’s upcoming nuptials. The dinner was served and it was one of the most delicious meals that he had had in a while. It was nice seeing Drea loosen up and talk with friends he had known since she was a child.

Eventually, Julian left the table to host the event. It was pretty standard, the tickets and donations from all these rich people would go to some charity for underprivileged kids in the city. It devolved from there into a party with a band playing instrumental music. Things were going incredibly smooth until Jared decided to go to the restroom.

The two couples had gone off to the dancefloor, Julian was off mingling, and that left Kevin and Drea. Kevin immediately took a seat next to Drea, taking her hand and leaning in close so she could hear him speak.

“Drea, you look so beautiful tonight. When will you give me a chance?” Kevin asked, gripping her hand tightly.

“Kevin, stop joking around,” Drea shrugged him off, removing her hand from his grasp to reach for her wine glass.

Kevin grabbed her hand again and leaned in so that his lips were brushing her ear with each word, “Drea, I’m not joking. You told me to wait. After everything with Isaac you needed time to heal. So I gave you that time. It’s been five years, Drea. I’m the CEO of my family’s company. Your father and I are business partners. Your mother has given her blessing. I expected to come here and finally confess again now that you’ve let off some steam with this rebellion. But it’s time to leave that job and your partner behind and come back and run our families’ businesses together.”

“Kevin, let me go. I know what I said before. I did my healing and I won’t settle for anything less than I want and deserve. And I don’t want you. I’m sorry.” Drea whispered back urgently, pushing Kevin back into his seat.

“You’re such a stupid bitch you know that. After everything we’ve been through. After you chose that psycho over me. And who did you go running to when he turned on you? You think you’re too good for me Drea? You’re nothing but a used up druggies bitch who doesn’t know when to shut up and just take her best option. Or do you only let psycho meth heads fuck you? Does your new partner know what kind of whore you are?” Kevin seethed, getting in her face. His voice grew louder with each sentence. The music and chatter was still louder than him, but those nearby had started to notice that something was wrong.

Drea was close to tears, standing from her seat she addressed him, “How could you say that?”

“How could you reject me? I’m more than you deserve but I would still love you Drea. Even knowing your history. Not many men would. Especially men of my caliber. You think your little lieutenant will still like you when he finds out what they did to you? You aren’t worth anything Drea. But I’m worth so much that I can make up for it. Just stop being such a pig headed bitch and make a good choice for once!” Kevin urged her. Grabbing her by her shoulders and shaking her.

Suddenly, Drea was pulled from his grasp and Jared was in front of her, throwing a punch so hard that Kevin landed hard on the floor, knocked out. Eyes started turning towards them, someone gasped, someone screamed. Then people were rushing towards them. Jared turned to her to say something, but she couldn’t hear anything. Blood was rushing in her ears, tears were streaming down her face and all she could do was run. So she did.

She ran between the tables, pushed her way through the crowd and escaped through side doors that lead to a courtyard. The spring night air was cold on her skin, her breaths coming in sharp inhales that nearly made her cough. Drea couldn’t see the beautiful garden or the perfectly carved pillars through her tears. The heaving sobs that wracked her body came hard and fast. She reached out for something, anything to cling to while she spiralled into the feeling. Like she was dying. So overwhelmingly alive with pain and cold air and heartache, but at the same time she was dying from it.

Drea’s hand found the cold rock of a pillar and she gripped fruitlessly at the smooth surface. Her knees gave way and she fell. Curling up against the pillar, her hands gripping the cloth at her chest, trying to find her own heart because she didn’t think it could still be there.

Drea was so overwhelmed that she hadn’t noticed that Jared wasn’t far behind her. When he reached for her hands to stop her from tearing her dress she fought back.

“Drea! Drea! It’s me! It’s Jared! I’m not going to hurt you,” Jared pleaded as she scratched and flailed. He managed to grab both her wrists and then held them both down with one hand while the other gently but firmly cupped her cheek, “Drea, look at me. Look at me. You’re ok. You’re safe. It’s just me. It’s Jared.”

Drea met his eyes and familiarity slowly sank in. When she finally spoke her voice was soft and broken from crying, “Jay?”

Jared just opened his arms and Drea threw herself into them, weeping. His mind was moving a mile a minute. He was angry at Kevin for what he said, even though he didn’t understand half of it. He was angry at himself for leaving Drea alone when he was supposed to protect her. But most of all he was worried. Drea never shortened his name. She said she felt like she was stepping into Michaela territory if she did. Instead she made up all kinds of silly names for him instead.

Her wracking sobs soon faded and her breathing slowed. Jared now had his back to the pillar, his arms around Drea, with her in his lap. She had her head curled into the crook of his neck. Jared didn’t say anything as he held her in his arms, gently running his hand up and down the outside of her bicep. He tried not to think of how good she smelled, and how she was trembling just the slightest bit.

The tell tale click of high heels on stone broke the intimate moment. Drea stiffened in his arms but he only held her tighter and whispered reassuring words.

“Drea? Jared?” Katrina called softly before she rounded the pillar. Once she spotted them she gasped at the sight of her friend and knelt down, “Oh Dre. I’m so sorry. If we had known he would push you again we would have never left you alone. He’s gone now. Your dad had a fit and Julian kicked him out. I can’t believe he would say those things.”

Drea didn’t respond, just turned closer into Jared’s neck. She was telling him she wanted to go. He didn’t know how he knew but he knew. “Katrina, is there any way you can get the valet to bring Drea’s car to the back outside the courtyard gate? I think it’s best that I take Drea home.”

“Jared, it really won’t look good for her to just leave. I mean it will be like she let Kevin win,” Katrina responded without thinking.

Drea flinched, and that made Jared angry, “Look Katrina I know we just met, but right now I think the only one who is putting Drea first is me. So please get Drea’s car brought over. We are leaving and I don’t give a damn what any of you people think because Drea did absolutely nothing wrong.”

Properly chastised Katrina whispered an apology before heading back into the building. Jared sighed pulling Drea closer to his chest to bring him some comfort of his own. He leaned his head against Drea’s, kissing her forehead instinctually, “Drea, I’m gonna take you home ok. I know I’m making decisions for you and you hate that but I’m worried about you. So I’m going to take you home where I know you will be safe, away from all this.”

Drea didn’t respond for a moment then he felt her nod her head and grip him tighter. Her voice came soft and muffled, “Take me home, Jay.”

Jared did just that. He took her home to his house. Something told him she didn’t want to go back to her apartment. She didn’t question the route they took or when they arrived in front of his place and he led her inside. Drea was looking less unstable but that didn’t stop Jared from babying her. He sat her in the living room and brought her a glass of cold water. She sipped at it. He carefully took her shoes off and then gingerly started combing her hair. Drea stayed stuck in her thoughts until she realized he was meticulously taking out her clip in extensions and placing them on the coffee table.

Drea was surprised at the thoughtful and detailed gesture and felt herself start crying again. But the tears were silent and accompanied by a sad smile.

“There we go. Well, Cinderella, it is a lot later than midnight and time for bed. I’ll go find you something to sleep in and wash up myself. Then you can have my bedroom and the bathroom,” Jared stood up to go up stairs but Drea grasped his hand. When he turned she stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you, Jared. Thank you for everything.”

“Drea, you’re my friend. You needed me and I was there. I don’t know what all that was but don’t feel like you have to explain anything to me. I’m just happy you’re feeling better. That Kevin guy is a dick. Forget him and anything he said,” Jared replied. He held her close, rubbing his hand up and down on her back. She finally relinquished her grasp on him and looked up at him.

Her eyes were rimmed red and puffy. But she looked up at him with a soft smile, “You really are a knight in a shining necktie.”

Jared laughed and just made his way upstairs. In the meantime, Drea checked her phone. There were a few missed calls and texts that she ignored. She decided not to tell Jared the details behind the confrontation that night. She wasn’t ready to admit it to him. When Jared came down, he had his arms full. An extra blanket and pillow for himself and a t-shirt and boxers for her. “This is all I have but it should be comfortable enough for tonight. Don’t bother arguing with me about my bed. You’re my guest, and after tonight you need the comfort of a nice bed.”

He handed her the clothing then walked over to the couch, setting up his sleeping area. He was wearing thin grey sweats and a black wife beater. If Drea were in a better mood she would have made a joke about seeing him so undressed. Jared was about to settle in and shut off the light when he realized that Drea was still in the room, staring at him, “What?”

“Nothing,” Drea answered quickly, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks.

“No sharing beds. At least not yet,” Jared quipped, winking at her.

“Shut up!” Drea gasped and ran up the stairs.

Jared just chuckled to himself as he shut off the light and got comfortable. The events of the day passed through his mind. He tried not to think about how good Drea looked in her dress, or how good she probably looked in his shirt and boxers. He tried not to think about how good she smelled, or the jealousy and rage he felt when he saw Kevin touching her and then yelling at her. Holding her for who knows how long in that courtyard, in any other instance, would have made him uncomfortable. But it quelled his rage, and woke something else in him. What it awoke were feelings that were too deep to be merely platonic. But he wouldn’t think about that.

Upstairs Drea had decided to take a shower. She was surprised to find a basic but thorough skincare regimen, decent shampoo and conditioner, and neutral smelling shower gels in his bathroom. Remnants he probably picked up from his last two serious relationships. She silently thanked god that she wasn’t forced to use a 3-in-1 after a day like today.

Soon she was tucked up in bed, her hair wrapped in a towel and clad in the clothes Jared gave her. The bed smelled of him and so did the clothes. A smell she now associated with his strong arms around her as she broke down. Jared went above and beyond with helping her tonight and she felt her heart ache a little. Kevin’s words were still ringing in her ears. What would Jared think once she told him the truth of what had happened to her?

Her phone chimed from the bedside table. Jared had texted her.

*You’re amazing, Drea. Ignore what Kevin said. I will always think you’re amazing and funny and stubborn as hell. Nothing anyone could say would make me feel any different.*

Drea hugged her phone to her chest and let a few tears slip out before her phone chimed again.

*No more crying or you’ll look like a steamed bun in the morning.*

She couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. Jared was here and he liked how she was right now. The past was the past. Finally she snuggled into Jared’s bed and went to sleep.

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

CH. 1

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunatley have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: Cheating Danneel, Depressed Jensen, Emotionally hurt Jensen, Language, I think that’s it...

pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1797

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Jensen pov:

"Yeah I'm well aware this is partly my fault Danneel there's no reason to drive the point home, but I wasn't the one fucking one of my employees was I?" 

Jensen was reeling, he couldn’t believe this was happening, he couldn’t believe what he had seen, it all felt just, not real...Like some strange out of body experience or nightmare that he just couldn’t wake up from..

Then as if to add insult to injury, here she was on the phone with him, trying to make it out like this was all HIS fault... 

Like he was the one bouncing on the dudes dick when she came home from work, and not the other way around. 

He just wanted to see his family, his kids, his wife, maybe even play with the God damn dog a little before leaving for the hotel before the convention started tonight. You would have never convinced him of what he was going to find when he walked through that front door the way he did today, not in a million years. 

The raw and unforgiving reality of it though was that it was real, he saw it with his own eyes, and just like that, his marriage was over. It was almost too much for him to take all at once, and the longer he heard her make one excuse right after the other to try and play the victim, instead of the cheating whore that she was, the more angry he got...

"All that time I was gone you weren't the only one that was lonely!! You weren't the only one who wanted to be close to someone!! I WANTED TO BE CLOSE TO YOU!! I HAD MY DAMN PICK OF ANYONE I WANTED!! I SPENT WEEKS PLANNING THIS TRIP SO I CAN HAVE JUST A FEW HOURS WITH YOU!! I'M DONE DANNEEL WE'RE DONE!!" 

Hanging up the phone before he could say anything he might regret, or anything she might be able to use against him in court, Jensen threw his phone across the room onto the hotel bed and shoved his hands into his hair, trying to get a hold of his frustration. 

 He started trying to talk it out with her, he really did, but the longer he was on the phone with her, the more his temper got the best of him. By the time he got off the phone with her, his face was red, and he had a knot in his stomach that made him feel like he wanted to vomit, and he was pretty sure that his blood pressure was at stroke level the whole time driving from Austin to Dallas…

He only had about three hours to get myself together before the rest of the cast and crew would arrive to get their rooms, and start the convention…

He was supposed to perform tonight for the Saturday nights special like he always did… So he had to get himself together before that started, and he had to take the stage in front of all those fans..

Thank God the hotel staff let him check in early. So he didn’t have to go to his parents to face them, or drive around Dallas for three hours because he was in no shape to be driving around right now. 

Jensen didn’t have time to get drunk before the show tonight, or to sober up in time for it to start anyway, so he paced around his room trying to control his rapidly beating heart rate. Because right now he either felt like he was having a heart attack, panic attack, or both…

His mind was reeling with questions. 

“How could she do this to me? I made sure she wanted for nothing. I loved and supported  her the only way I could. I don't understand why she did this. I was faithful, even when I had every opportunity not to be I was faithful. This isn’t fair. Did she ever love me at all?”

A knock on the door disturbs him from my thoughts, and he glared at it a moment, thinking about ignoring it until he heard Jared yelling through the door. 

"Hey J!! Are you there? I got here a little early, and they said downstairs that you were already here!! Let's get a drink before everyone else gets here!!" 

A drink did sound pretty good, and if there was any he trusted it was Jared. He'd known Jensen the at his worst, and at his best, and he was always there when he needed him. 

He had a right to know what happened. 

Jensen grabbed his hat and shades before walking to the door, leaving his phone on the bed, he didn’t want to talk to Danneel anymore, he’d said everything he had to say, and if anyone wanted to find him that bad they usually called Jared. 

Steading his nerves before he opened the door to join Jared for drinks he couldn’t help but feel like this was going to be a long convention. 

.....................................

Your POV:

"Come on Y/n!! Put that damn guitar down!! The concert starts in one hour, and I want a good seat!!" Y/f/n yells at you from the hotel bathroom.

Rolling your eyes you sit your guitar back into its case, and put it in the closet so that housekeeping or whatever wouldn’t just see it laying around and take it. 

It was your most prized possessions...

Music was your life... 

It's what kept you going, what got you out of bed in  the morning, and the last thing you thought about before you went to bed at night.

Most importantly it was there for you when no one else was… That much you had learned the hard way…

 "Don't you think getting there an hour early is a little extreme?" You complain, turning around and checking your makeup in the mirror and grabbing your phone, and slipping it into your back pocket.

"Look you have no idea how crazy these people are that come to these cons, and I want to be so close to the stage I get sprayed with spit when Rob starts to sing." She says matter of factly, pulling her purse over her shoulder, and meeting you by the front door.

"Yeah because that's what a totally sane person would say about their seating arrangements." You mumble, rolling your eyes and shaking your head as you open the door. 

The girl had it bad for Rob, which honestly was a nice chance, most girls were here for Jared, Jensen, or Misha.. 

You were more interested in seeing Jensen tonight yourself. The way his voice washed over you when he sang! Ugh there's nothing else in this world like it. It always rolled over you like honey, but burned slow, like a shot of the best top shelf whisky..The man wasn't human. 

He was a damn God, and deserves to be treated as such. 

The two of you rode the elevator to the first floor laughing, and talking about music. There were two guys in the elevator when you two got on, but you didn’t really pay them any mind. One of them smelled like he'd had more than one drink, and they both seemed to be trying to blend into the back wall of the elevator, not wanting to talk to the two of you.

"If they call for a fan to come up on stage tonight you should totally go sing with Jensen." She said, elbowing you in the ribs. Eating herself the best bitchface you could muster.

"No way dude, I'd never get past the first line. I'd freak out, and make myself look like a complete, and total idiot.." 

The shorter one of the men in the elevator smirked at the ground at your conversation. There was something familiar about that smirk........

You were about to tell him it was rude to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, when your friend spoke up again..

"Come on Y/n for my birthday PLEASE!!" She begged, giving you puppy dog eyes worthy of Sam Winchester. 

"No way. He's not gonna want to sing with someone like me.” You say, trying to brush her off.. 

“What would you even want us to sing?" 

The two of you exited the elevator, and you had all but forgotten about the two men following you just in ear shot. 

"Hmm.... I don't Know........ How about.... Picture, by kid rock and Sheryl Crow." She said, all but bouncing as you joined the already forming line outside the doors leading into the hall where they were about to have the concert. 

She loved that song, even though it was overplayed and overdone.

"That song is so damn old Google probably can't even find the lyrics to it anymore." You tease her.

She just rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at you.

“It’s my birthday, so I pick the song! I didn’t say you’d have to like it”

The doors were opened before long, and the two of you made your way through the doors into the large room the concert was being held in. Leaving early had paid off. You were center stage, front row. Thanks to your friend’s media pass and gold tickets too, but you weren’t going to point that out. 

Y/f/n was jumping up and down in her seat with excitement, and you just couldn’t burst her bubble.

"Did you see those two guys that were in the elevator with us?" You asked, as the two of you watched the other fans filter into the room. 

The smile that one guy did sure did look familiar. You wished you could have gotten a better look at his face better, but they were both wearing shades and ball caps; keeping their heads down like they didn’t want to be bothered, and you didn’t want to stare at them, and make them feel uncomfortable.. 

"Yeah I saw them, probably just two dudes here with their girlfriends." she says shrugging you off as she sets up her camera for tonight. You don’t know why you cared so much, not like it mattered anyway who they were, or why they were here, there were a lot of strange people that went to these conventions, and they probably were here with their girlfriends, but still that smirk…

You shoved the thought of the two strangers in the elevator aside, you were about to see “The Jensen Ackles” sing. Honestly if you could have known you were going to die when he walked off stage. 

You'd die happy. 

Just cause you were that close to that beautifully sculpted, almost inhuman body, and voice that could melt you like butter. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @deanwanddamons​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

Binge Tag:

@sarahbaker2010​

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Happiness Begins

Part 20

Chapter Summary: When it seems like things couldn’t get any worse, the reader gets a rude awakening. 

Warnings: Language, angst, verbal altercation

Word Count: 2.1K+

Author’s Note: Oh boy, this is a part that I wrote very early on when this story was mostly a concept of vivid scenes all mashed together in my head. It has evolved a lot in the months I have been writing this story and I’m proud of where it has landed. I just have to say, I’m sorry and please don’t hate me. xoxo Alex

Catch up with the series masterlist and check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly!

It felt like a year later when Trish placed her hand on Y/n’s shoulder, startling her out of her trance state. She wanted to go after Jensen, but was worried about the suspicion that action would raise. But she couldn’t go after Jared, after all, they hadn’t spoken in almost two weeks.

“Is Jared okay?” Her voice was low. Y/n turned her head, noticing the leering eyes of the crew behind Trish. They all had the same question. A question that she just couldn’t answer for them. 

“I should go talk to them.” She offered before walking away from the awkward situation. She headed off in the same direction Jared had gone, though she had no intention of actually going to him. It would only make things worse. If Jared had wanted to talk things out with her, he had plenty of chances to do so. Instead, she went in search of a corner of the lot that would offer the solitude she needed to break down in pieces. 

~

The next week saw no improvement in their situation. Y/n was growing even more antsy than she already was. She had tried to speak with Jared again, hoping to break through to him, even if it was only a small step, before she left Vancouver. Her time on set was quickly coming to an end and she was afraid of what her leaving town might do to their predicament. 

Jared was the one person that she was closest to. The one person who was always there for her no matter what. As the days ticked by, this crushing feeling in her chest kept growing. There was no denying how she had treated her brother was less than favorable, but at the same time she couldn’t deny that Jared was being unreasonable. Picking fights and deliberately avoiding discussion like adults. It was infuriating and frustrating. She wanted to cry eighty percent of the day. 

Unsurprisingly, all of that emotion was overflowing into her relationship with Jensen. At first it felt like they were a team. She had him to lean on. Jensen was her rock and the one person who was in the same boat as she was. They understood each other. Or at least, that is what she had thought. 

After the public altercation on set, their conversations fell tense. At first, she had convinced herself that it was just because the audience that they held. But then it began to seep into his texts as well. He would give her one worded answers and sometimes none at all.

That was what worried her the most. If she was being completely honest, she knew how broken she had become, and as much as she loved Jensen for being there for her, she realized how much she had failed to be there for him. Jared was his best friend after all, brother’s by choice, and Jensen was hurting just as much as she was. It only added to the guilt already weighing on her shoulders. 

Even now, he hadn’t spoken directly to her since she had shooed him out of her makeup chair earlier that morning. She was trying her damndest to fix that. But when he never responded to her suggestion that they hang out at his place, it didn’t do anything for her confidence in her abilities to do so. 

So instead she was trying to just keep her mind occupied. Right now, that was cooking an intricate meal that required her full attention. Maybe this could at least soften up her brother enough for him to sit down and talk to her. 

The soft knock at the door startled Y/n as she set out the ingredients for the dinner she was cooking. There were few people up here in Vancouver who could be knocking on that door. One of which was surely avoiding her. Jared was not home currently, holed up at the gym like he has been a lot these past few weeks, but still, Jensen showing up would be mysterious. That’s why it shocked her even more when it actually was him on the other side of the door. She stepped back and waved him into the apartment. He didn’t say anything as he walked towards the island.

“What are you doing here?” She cut right to the chase as curiosity got the better of her. 

“I came to talk to you.” Jensen knocked his knuckles against the countertop, his brow furrowed as he did so. Things were tense, she was not obtuse to that fact, but there was something about the look on his face that was different right now. He wouldn’t look at her, and it wasn’t like Jared was here to glare at him over her shoulder. 

“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Her voice softened this time. The worry now evident in her voice. 

“I’m trying to figure out how to say this.” He frowned as he watched his finger trail along the pattern in the marble countertop. Her stomach dropped at his statement, the words sending an uneasy feeling through her body. 

“Say what?” She made her way around the island to stand in front of him. He looked up at her when she stopped in front of him, his hand still tracing patterns across the marble. 

“I’m sorry about how cold things have been,” Y/n shrugged at his apology. Did she suspect this chain of events per say? No, but she couldn’t blame him for all that. If anything, she only blamed herself. “I never meant to come between you and your brother.”

“I know you didn’t. But like you said, he’s got to cool down eventually right?” She repeated his mantra back to him. It was the same thing he had been trying to convince her off this whole time. Jensen didn’t return her small smile, if anything, his expression fell more than it already was, which she didn’t think was possible. Her heart sank along with his expression, the anxiety fluttering wildly in her abdomen. There was something wrong with Jensen, she was sure of it now. There was something he wasn’t telling her. 

Jensen sighed deeply before fitting his hands into his coat pockets. “That’s just it, I don’t think he is. I know how close you two were, and you’ve barely spoken these past few weeks. I’ve never seen him like this.” 

“Jared just has a big heart. He just needs a little time.” It felt weird to repeat his own words back to him, but she admits to failing to be there for him. This was the chance to change that and if it meant saying something she didn’t truly believe, she would do that. She would do it for Jensen.

Y/n moved into Jensen, reaching to put her hands around his waist. Surprising her, he stepped back from her advance. Her smile faltered as it seemed her fears were confirmed. Jensen had never rejected her touch, and with the look on his face, that could not mean anything good.

“I think we could all use a little time.”

“What does that mean?” Her tone was clipped as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her mood shifted swiftly with the implication of his words. She wasn’t sure what she thought was swimming around in that head of his, but she certainly was not expecting him to say that. 

“It means that you and your brother haven’t spoken in three weeks. It means I haven’t spoken to one of my best friends unless we are forced into the same room and even then it’s only polite discussion about work. Y/n, I didn’t want to be this destructive force in your life, that was never my intention. I think it’s best for everybody if I just take a step back. From you and from Jared.” He reacted to her short response, his voice rising in volume. He couldn’t help it, the anger was building inside at himself and the situation they were in.

“That’s Jared’s problem. He is the one who is being cold here, not us.” 

“Because we betrayed him, we-” Y/n scoffed as his words sent ice through her veins. The noise effectively shut Jensen up.

“Don’t you dare say ‘we’ betrayed him. I didn’t know anything about him telling you I was off limits, no thanks to you or anybody else in my family. You all decided to just keep that from me. Sure, I did lie to him, I hurt him, but I just wanted to tell him on my own time. I was sick of him meddling in my love life and for once I wanted to figure it out on my own. I don’t think that was too much to ask of him.” Her arms crossed over her chest as the tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. She could feel her nose stinging, and it was only serving to piss her off more. The audacity of Jensen to say that she did anything to knowingly hurt her brother. Never once had Jared made his wishes known to her, and she can’t be blamed for that.

“You’re right. It all just happened so fast, I didn’t know how to stop it.” 

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I was perfectly content after that night to just chalk it all up to a vulnerable, half-drunk indiscretion. And I told you that, explicitly. I would’ve gotten over it, I would’ve moved on. But you insisted on that first date, and I caved to every line you fed me. How much of it was a lie, Jensen?” The tears were now trailing down her reddened cheeks. Every line he had fed her about wanting it to be more than just sex, about wanting to get to know her for her, how much of it was just a line? Because he knew this would not end well, yet he still went for it. And now here they were, when the going gets tough and he’s backing out. He can’t handle the mess that he knowingly created and it couldn’t help but make her think that he never had the intention of going through with this long term. Was she just a warm body to have in his bed until he was back home in Austin? She didn’t know anymore and that made her feel dirty and used.

“None of it, Y/n. I do love you. I want you to be happy, and I know that you can’t be without your brother by your side. That’s all I’m trying to do, is give you your brother back. I can’t try and keep you all to myself, you know you wouldn’t be happy like that.” He was pleading with her to see his point of view. He wasn’t sure what hurt worse, that she could think he had been just trying to get into her pants this whole time or actually breaking up with her. This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. It killed him that she thought he had just used her to get his dick wet. At the same time, seeing it all from her point of view, he couldn’t exactly blame her. 

Jensen reached out to her, hoping to help calm her, but she flinched when he tried. She actually flinched away from him, and that was what hurt the most. 

“Fuck you, and fuck Jared. All of you men are all the fucking same, you know that? How dare you guys pretend to know what is best for me? I’m a grown woman, I can and will figure it out for myself. So don’t pretend you’re doing this for me when you are really just doing it for yourself.” She spit at him. How she didn’t see this one coming, she wasn’t sure. She had just been that blinded by him. She let herself fall in love with him, and she just ended up burned, like always. It was stupid of her to think that the cycle would change after all these years. 

Jensen licked his lips as he watched her walk away from him. What could he say to that? Somewhere deep down, he believed what she had said was true. His actions were not entirely selfless, he couldn’t deny that. “Y/n,”

“Go! Get out!” She spun on her heel, a small sob ripping from her body as she pointed towards the door. There was nothing else to say, for either of them. Not right now. He simply nodded, his own tears welling up as he left out the door. He hoped that she would forgive him one day, but he didn’t know if that day would ever come. To be honest, he wasn’t even sure if he would deserve it.

Part 21

Forevers:  @spn-impala​​ @22sarah08​​ @turtlepad​​ @callmekda​​ @chaldei​​ @hobby27​​ @cowboysnwinchesters​​ @tranquility-or-chaos​​ @pikabootoyouchu​​ @dawnie1988​​ @grease222​​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @polina-93​​ @clarinette07​​ @moonlight-babeh​​ @suckerforfanfics​​ @witandnargles​​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ @geeksareunique​ @akshi8278​

Et Cetera: @jbbarnesgirl​ @hillface89​ @arses21434​ @thevelvetseries​ @sslater34​ @mrsirishboru​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @spnfamily-j2​ @encounterthepast​ @facadeformyrealblog  @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​ @rebeccathefangirl​ @squirrelnotsam​ @heartinmyhead1​ @1d-killed-me​ @samsgirl93​ @deans-baby-momma​ @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @woodworthti666​ @supraveng​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @heartsaved​ @know2grow​ @littlewhiterose​ @surprisinglysarah​ @stoneyggirl​ @carryon-doctor-lock​ @thebookisbtr​ @youaremyfiveever​ @kalesrebellion​ @lilulo-12​ @winchester-fantasies​ @vicmc624​ @supernatural3002​ @winchester-writes​ @maralisa124​

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

When You Least Expect It, Part Sixteen

Jensen Ackles x Musician!Reader

Masterlist - Contains Chapter Links & Wardrobe Collages

A/N: This is a much shorter chapter than the rest, but I hope you enjoy it! 

Spotify Playlist

Series Summary: After a hard breakup, Jensen decides to throw himself into organizing a Music Festival in Austin that is meant to raise money for a few of his most cherished charities and organizations. As he throws himself into planning it, he stumbles upon a spirited, undiscovered performer, who he convinces to come aboard to help plan and coordinate the event with him.

What transpires after that takes both Jensen and his new friend, by surprise. But when their respective pasts come back just before the event kicks off in Austin, they will both have to decide if the unexpected feelings are worth perusing, or if they should just walk away and go on with their lives.

Series Warnings: Language, Break-Ups, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mild Violence, Talk of Domestic Abuse

Chapter Summary: With the festival rapidly approaching, everyone is both on edge and excited for what lies ahead.

Chaper Warnings: None

WC: 6.5K

Series Beta’d by @closetspngirl​​

Dee

The private investigator Dee hired last Spring had been worth every penny. The information he delivered on Jensen’s new girlfriend gave her more than she could have hoped for. Her plan to contact the little twit’s ex-boyfriend seemed like a good idea at first; but as the weeks turned into months, even Dee could see Nathan’s instability grow. Once word of the incident at Jensen’s brewery reached her, she knew that maybe things had gone too far. All she wanted to do was try and cause some drama, hoping Jensen would shy away from the beach brat he was suddenly so obsessed with and come back to her. But as she sat, nipping at her cuticles while waiting in her rented Beamer for Nathan to show, she realized what a futile effort it had been.

The plan completely backfired, only pushing the two of them closer. Gen had let it slip that Y/N was now living in Vancouver with Jensen, completely bringing Dee’s hopes of a reconciliation crumbling to the ground. Even she had never been asked to move to Vancouver with him while they were together, and was instantly crushed when she heard the news. There was no chance of Jensen coming back to her; Dee knew that now it was a matter of protecting herself. Only God knew exactly what Nathan was capable of, but with the glimpses Dee had caught of him, she seriously began to fear how this would backlash onto her, if her part in everything had come out. 

Everything she had done up until that point hadn’t been illegal, really. All she did was make a few phone calls and provoke a stranger into reacting. Yet somehow she knew that if Nathan was caught, and started talking, her name would be spoken and she’d have some things to answer for. Knowing the light it would paint her in, knowing how it could affect her career, Dee needed to be sure that Nathan would keep her out of it. After all, HE was the one who took things too far. 

Dee turned her delicate wrist and checked the time on her watch; already a quarter past ten in the morning. Nathan had promised to meet her early that day outside of a small diner located in the outskirts of Austin. It was two days before the festival was to kick off, and she just needed a few reassurances before the big day. She still hated Y/N and loved Jensen, but deep down she finally conceded that SHE wasn’t the one he loved; Y/N was. 

Another twenty minutes passed with no sign of Nathan. When she checked her watch again and saw it was nearly eleven, she closed her eyes and felt her stomach bottom out. Dee pushed the start button on her rental and hung her head, long strands of red hair obscuring her face and the handful of regretful tears that ran through her makeup. A soft, yet shaky laugh turned into shaking sobs as the air conditioning began to blow her hair back lightly. She drew in a deep breath and brought her vision back up towards the windshield. Off to the right of the old titanium plated diner, stood a tall, lanky man in a grey hoodie and ripped jeans. She felt his eyes on her and a mild bout of nerves raced through her veins. The man’s hood was drawn tightly around his head, leaving his face in a swirl of shadows. Regardless, she could feel his eyes on her and knew that it was Nathan. 

They had only met in person once before earlier that Spring, and it was a brief encounter at best. Dee had been hesitant to meet face to face, but Nathan insisted. He said he was worried for Y/N, and the kind of people she’d gotten involved with. He was pushy and borderline manic, so Dee agreed to meet at the same diner she was now parked in front of. They drank coffee and Dee listened as Nathan recounted his surprise visit with Y/N. The way he explained it, she had turned her back on him, and then provoked Jensen into attacking him. His expression was concerned and fretful, but Dee knew it had all been an act. She was an actress, after all, and she could spot his lies a hundred miles away. Yet, it didn’t stop her from encouraging him to fight back, and fight for his girl.

The break-in at the condo hadn’t been all her idea, though as she sat in nervous self-reflection, she wouldn’t be able to deny planting the seed of thought in Nathan’s head. But, her little birdies told her that the amount of destruction that had been left was extensive, and far more than she felt comfortable with. 

She killed the engine of the car, again, and slowly opened the driver’s side door. The minute it cracked open, Nathan began to approach her. When he was closer, she could see his features were drawn and his complexion turned ashy. The dark circles under his eyes and the pale tone of his lips caused her brow to furrow.

“Jesus, Nathan. What the hell happened to you?”

Nathan shrugged. “Life.”

“Well, maybe you should rethink the life you’re living if it’s leaving you looking like that.” Dee gave him a good once over, and noticed his hands were shaking. “Are you on drugs?”

He let out a deep, haunting laugh. “What the fuck you know about the drug life, Princess?”

“N-Nothing really, but I’ve been around enough people that do them to know what a junkie looks like.”

“You don’t know shit about shit. What the hell do you want, hm? You nagged me to get here so you could just put me down like everyone else?” His words weren’t threatening, but the tone and body language he delivered them with, was.

“No, I just… shit, man… this all got out of hand. I just wanted to check in, make sure you were okay,” she lied, doing her best to keep her face from betraying her. “I’m concerned.”

“Are you now?” Nathan snorted, and pushed the hood off his head, revealing his shaggy, dirty hair that was plastered to his head thanks to the heat of the Austin summer. “What made you so concerned? I did what you asked. I tried to break them up. But…” he trailed off, his eyes looking in Dee’s direction, but it was clear that he wasn’t actually seeing her.

“I was wrong, okay? Clearly those two idiots are happy together. So, I wanted to tell you that you could stop trying to break them up.”

Nathan shook his head slowly, and in a way that caused a bolt of anxiety to run down Dee’s spine. “Naw, can’t do that.”

“Can’t--can’t do what?”

“Stop trying to break them up…. Y/N is all I got left in this world.”

“But, what if she doesn’t want you? Then what? Do you really want her if she doesn’t want you? You deserve someone who loves you for who and what you are. Don’t get hung up on some past relationship because you think it's what you deserve. Trust me, Nathan, I speak from experience.”

“I give two shits about your experience. Y/N is my girl,” he snarled at her, “...always has been. So why don’t you bug the fuck off and leave me alone.”

“I will, I promise. But first I just need to make sure…” Dee let her words hang in the air, hoping he would get their meaning without her having to actually say it. From his expression, she knew that he got her point, but the concerning grin that unfurled on his face told her he wasn’t going to cut her an inch of slack. “...are you… I mean, can you, leave my name out of it?”

“It?” he asked, goading her into having to say the words.

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“Jesus.. Fine. Please leave my name out of any involvement with whatever scheme you come up with next? Yes, I wanted them broken up, but the things you’ve done… I can’t be a part of it.”

“Too late, Princess. You’re part of it. And if I go down for any of this bullshit, so do you.”

Jensen

In the few weeks after their vacation at the shore, Jensen and Y/N were busier than ever. Each day brought some sort of hurdle that one or both of them needed to clear. As days dwindled down towards the start of the festival, they were more determined than ever to make it the best weekend Austin had ever seen. A few last minute additions to the various stage line ups caused some headaches, but they made it work and in the end. Jensen was still in awe watching Y/N handle the musicians, the vendors, the sponsors, the various charity groups involved, and all while she was trying to get her own music set list together. Not to mention practicing via video conference with Robbie and the rest of Louden Swain. 

For most of his life, Jensen always wondered if a woman like her existed. Y/N was by no means perfect; she could be moody, and a bit of a slob which sometimes drove him crazy. Then, he would see her sitting on the couch, legs crossed in some ungodly way, with her head buried in her computer or a guitar on her lap, and any of her imperfections just melted away. Y/N did little else other than eat, sleep and breathe the festival. There were times in those weeks where despite the hectic schedule of planning and also filming the show, he half wished it was over already. Jensen wanted to start his life with Y/N, be with her without the current pressure that sat on both their shoulders. He and Jared had discussed on numerous occasions that maybe it was time for Supernatural to come to an end, giving them the opportunity to explore life outside of their precious Impala. But it wasn’t until those weeks between Seaside and the festival, that he was seriously considering it. 

The idea of not living and working in Vancouver with his best friend normally caused a mild panic to settle into his gut. However, the last time he and Jared had discussed it, they both felt that the end was in sight. Jensen never brought it up to Y/N, never felt like the right time. With all their respective traveling and work loads, trying to plan a future needed to be put on the back burner. As much as it killed him to do so, he knew it was best for both their sakes. He decided once the festival was over he’d bring it up to her. Then, they could make a plan. If there was one thing Jensen knew for absolutely certainty, it was that he didn’t see any type of future without her in it.

They were knee deep in filming the seventh episode of the season, so if a decision was to be made about the future of the show, it had to be soon. Production was shutting down for five days solely so the entire cast and crew could fly down for the festival. Every single one of them had agreed to volunteer, or help out somehow, and it warmed his heart more than he could put into words. These people had become his extended family, a support system when he felt he had reached rock bottom, and some of the best damn human beings he’d ever met.

Filming had wrapped for the extended weekend, and Jensen was feeling that last scene in every muscle and bone. Fight scenes were always fun to block out, but once it got to actually throwing the stuntmen around, and executing the moves on camera it tended to wear him out. As Jensen plodded back to his trailer, both relieved and exhausted, he noticed a light was on inside, and saw the shadow of his best friend moving about. A little smirk twitched on his face as he climbed the metal steps to the trailer and quietly pushed open the door.

Jared was singing under his breath as Jensen walked in unnoticed. Jensen leaned against the door watching him, trying not to laugh as Jared’s head bobbed to the song stuck in his head. It was when Jared started making guitar riff noises that Jensen’s resolve broke, and he started clapping loudly, making his best friend nearly jump out of his skin.

“Bravo my man!” Jensen teased and walked slowly through the large trailer. “Hey, how come we didn’t find you a slot in the festival? With pipes like that--”

“Shut up,” Jared sighed and sat down on the leather couch, still clutching his chest from Jensen’s sudden intrusion. “Damn near gave me a heart attack.”

“Yeah, well, now you know what your singing does to me.”

“I’m sorry, DEAN, I thought we were done filming for today.” Jared rolled his eyes, but was unable to hide his own smile at their banter. “Seriously though, I thought we were done. Took you long enough to get back here.”

“Had to re-block one of the fight scenes. I was completely off my game, man. I don’t know if it’s exhaustion or what, but I could feel myself half-assing it.”

“Dude, do you not realize the year you’ve had? There are times I am amazed you’re still standing.”

Jensen shrugged it off and grabbed two cold beers from the mini-fridge, before handing one to Jared and sitting on the recliner across from him. 

“Not like we haven’t been here before,” Jensen replied, but he knew what Jared really meant. Ignoring the look he could feel coming from the other side of the room, he leaned forward in the chair and finally met Jared’s eyes. “Speaking of… I think me, you and Misha really need to sit down and talk.”

Jared snorted a laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I agree. It’s why I’m here, actually.”

After so many years together, the two friends could talk without words. Due to previous discussions and the telepathy that had developed through more than a decade of friendship, neither had to say what was on their mind. 

Jared raised his beer and Jensen followed suit. They clincked the bottles together in cheers and each took a long draw of the dark brew. 

“To one final season of Supernatural,” Jensen said with Jared nodding in agreement. 

“To one more kick ass ride,” Jared smiled and took another pull from the bottle. 

They sat in silence for a moment, feeling the weight of the decision slowly rolling off their shoulders. The air in the trailer felt lighter somehow, as if just saying the words out loud relieved some of the tension it had contained. 

“Misha on board?” Jensen asked and looked up to see his friend nodding. 

“He is. He’s broken up about it as much as we are, but he knows its time.”

Jensen just nodded and sat back in his chair. “Think we got one more year in us?”

“Damn straight we do. Hell, I know we have another FIVE years in us. Truth is, I think we are just both ready for the next thing… whatever that looks like.”

Again, Jensen nodded in agreement but sat quietly, contemplating what that thing was. “Do you know what you want to do?” 

Jared shook his head. “Not really. A few offers have come in for movies, a new show or two, but nothing that really jumps up at me. I just know I want to be home more, help Gen with the kids. Actually be there and see them grow up.” He paused and looked at Jensen, who seemed a million miles away despite sitting two feet in front of him. “Jay? What about you? Do you know what comes next?”

A hint of a smile pulled at the corner of Jensen’s mouth. “I sure do, my brother. I sure as hell do. I want what you have with Gen. Wife, kids, house… the whole nine. When this festival is over, I’m going to ask Y/N to marry me. Whatever happens after that, doesn’t matter. I just know that my life isn’t complete, unless she’s in it with me.”

Jared nodded in agreement, and despite the heaviness of the decision they had come to, he could see the love and excitement in his best friend’s face. He raised his beer again, “That, is the best damn thing I’ve heard you say in forever. I admit I was skeptical at first, but Y/N brings out something in you I’ve never seen before.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” 

“Pure, unadulterated, happiness.”

Jensen leaned back in his chair, and for the first time in his life, he knew that no matter what came next, he would be okay because Jared was right. Y/N made him happier and more alive than anything else ever had. The life he had always wanted, with the woman he always dreamed of was right in front of him for the taking.

Y/N

Forty-eight hours from the start of the festival, and Y/N’s nerves were showing signs of strain from the pressure she had put on herself. She wanted everything about the weekend to be perfect; from the many venues, band line ups, vendors and volunteers. She oversaw everything, right down to the signs that she had the local schools help make that marked each section of the festival. 

The idea had hit her months ago, to divide up the Austin Hometown & Brew Fest into little representations of each major city that was contributing food, drinks and music. Each school district in Austin was responsible for creating colorful signs for each “town”, and as she stood looked through the pictures of each one, her tired heart soared with pride and a surge of adrenaline she desperately needed. When she had been offered the job by Jensen, Y/N never believed for a second she would have the knowledge or drive to pull it off. Yet somehow, here she was--in the home stretch and still running. 

Y/N stared at her phone flipping through the images Bri had sent her, as she walked barefoot through the Vancouver apartment waiting for Jensen to get back from filming so they could leave for the airport. They had a late flight to Austin, which didn’t give them much time, but they could make it work. Somehow, they always found a way. With Robbie, Bri and Mama already in Austin, Y/N knew that everything would get done that needed to, because they were just as invested in this as she and Jensen were and she couldn’t ask for much more than that. Y/N had an amazing crew behind her, a boyfriend she loved more than life, and a future with endless possibilities. 

Just as she felt her stomach rubble, and made her way into the kitchen, the phone in her hand began to buzz. Bri’s name popped up, causing Y/N to smile and forget the hunger pains that nagged her. 

“Hey Bri,” she answered with tired enthusiasm, “everything okay down there?”

“Stop being a worry wort, everything is FINE! I’m calling to check on you. How’s the nerves? Holding steady?”

“Eh, let’s just say I am holding it together. Too much to think about for me to start feeling the heat now.”

“Mhm, okay. Now, you want to try to say that in a way that will make me believe it?”

“Hush, I’m fine. Tired, but fine.”

“If you say so. Honey, I promise you, everything is on track here. Robbie has the venues locked down. The stages are finishing being built, all the lights and equipment have been tested. Mama has the two theaters ready to rock n roll. Hell, even Gen is getting in on things. Do you know she took the kids down to the elementary school and helped them finish up the last few banners. I am telling you, there is nothing to worry about.”

Y/N felt a surge of relief, and let it wash over her taking with it the stress of last minute details. Yet, there was a nagging feeling left she didn’t like. One that settled in the pit of her stomach like a led weight. 

“Bri…” Y/N paused, unsure of how to phrase what she wanted to ask. “...has there been any signs… or even a whiff of--”

“Nathan? No. There hasn’t.”

Y/N sighed audibly and felt her knees weaken at the sound of his name. She hated that even after the months that had passed since the breakin and incident in the brewery parking lot, the sound of his name could bring her such anxiety. 

“You sure?”

“I swear. The police still have an APB on him, all the volunteers and security guards have seen his picture and know what to look for should he be stupid enough to try and get into any restricted areas.”

“Okay.” But Y/N wasn’t totally convinced. She felt it could be her own paranoia and years of history with Nathan, but she needed to focus on the tasks ahead, and not look back on a past that would continue to haunt her, if she let it.

“Listen, it’s late. Tomorrow morning, I’ll meet you at Jensen’s place here in town, and we will spend the entire day going over every last minute detail. You can bite your nails and stress the day away, but for now, go grab some food, take a nap, blast some music… whatever is going to make you chill out. Robbie and I got this. Mama, too. That lady is a force of nature and loves you somethin’ fierce. So if there is any one thing out of place, I guaran-damn-tee, Mama June will handle it.”

Y/N laughed, and immediately conjured an image of Mama bossing Robbie around, while Bri sat back chuckling. “You’re right. Between her, you and Robbie, I really have nothing to worry about.”

“Good girl. Now, how long before your flight leaves?”

“We have to be at the airport by ten, and I think it leaves at twelve thirty.”

“Okay, I’ll have a car there waiting to pick you guys up. Now, I know you two horn dogs can’t keep your hands off each other, but may I suggest some SLEEP when you get to Austin. Big days ahead, and we need you both well rested and ready to kick this in the ass!”

“You know Briana, there are days I truly, from the bottom of my heart, cannot stand you.”

“What can I say, it's a gift. I’ll see you in the morning,” she laughed and made three loud kissing noises.

“Love you too, Bri,” Y/N laughed and shook her head, “See you tomorrow.”

As Y/N ended the call, her stomach reminded her of her promise of cold pizza from the fridge. She placed her cell phone on the counter and began to rummage through the two left over pizza boxes. She grabbed two plain slices, and just as she took a huge bite, her phone began to ring again. Assuming it was Bri calling back, she answered without looking at the caller ID.

“I swear, I am going to eat and take a nap!” she mumbled in protest as an answer, with a mouth full of cold pizza, but no response came. Y/N chewed and swallowed as quickly as she could, thinking that her jumbled greeting may have thrown Bri off. “Sorry, had a mouth full of food. Miss me already?” she teased. 

Again, no answer came, and that weight in her stomach twisted up like a tornado and clogged her throat. 

“Hel--Hello? Bri?” She moved the phone from her face and looked at the screen. Bri’s name wasn’t there, nor was Robbie’s. Instead it just said, Private Caller. “Who is this?”

Five, maybe ten seconds passed, but for Y/N, it felt like an eternity. She could hear someone breathing on the other end, and in her gut, she was convinced it was Nathan. 

When the person finally spoke, it was not the voice she suspected to hear. Not a man’s voice, but a digitally altered one. “Just a warning… cancel the festival, or there could be consequences.”

Y/N was speechless. She stood in Jensen’s kitchen, frozen in place with the phone glued to her hand. Slowly she brought the screen away from her face again, staring at the Private Caller and their ominous warning. She wanted to yell into the phone, curse off anyone who would try and scare her away from everything she’d worked so hard for. But her nerves had been pushed to the edge, and no words were coming from her lips. 

The caller hung up before she could find the strength to reply. Her hunger faded instantly, taken over by a swell of bile rising in her gut. Her good feelings from just moments ago were gone. As she felt herself on the verge of puking, she dropped her phone on the counter, and ran for the bathroom so her empty stomach could purge itself. Once she had gotten up whatever had been left in her gut, she sat back on the cool tile, and rested her head against the wall. Y/N had no strength or will to move; the stranger’s words “...there could be consequences…” continued to repeat over and over in her head. 

Y/N never did get up to get back to the kitchen, and when Jensen returned home a short time later, that’s where he found her; half asleep with a tear streaked face sitting in the corner of the bathroom. He didn’t ask her any questions, but instead sat beside her and gathered her into his arms, leaving a soft kiss on the top of her head. 

“Whatever it is baby, I promise you, we’ll get through it,” he cooed in comfort as she felt herself melt into his side. Assuming it was stress and anxiety over the festival, he held her close there on the bathroom floor until it was time to leave for the airport. 

That’s when she knew for complete certainty, she wasn’t going to tell him about the call. She would NOT let anyone interfere with all they had worked towards; certainly not some piece of shit like Nathan, or a petty schemer like Dee. Y/N would never let either of them take anything from her, again.

Nathan

He watched as the snotty little redhead and her fancy ass Beamer pulled out of the diner parking lot. Nathan’s face remained stone-like as Dee’s gaze didn’t leave his until she had turned left and sped out of view. Nothing she had said to him gave him a second of pause; no reconsidering, no backing down. Nathan had reached the “couldn’t care less” portion of his actions months ago, and now all he could think about was how to enact the best possible revenge, on all of them. 

Getting lost in his thoughts, he stood motionless in the parking lot, absently watching the traffic pass him by. Austin had a ton of traffic, and people, making it easy for him to blend into his surroundings and stay unnoticed. He knew the cops were looking for him, so he did his best to stay off the radar. It wasn’t until an Austin City cop car slowly passed the diner, that his feet finally decided to move. He still had too much to do before he could put his last plan into place. 

Nathan pulled his hood back up, then shoved his hands deep into his jean pockets as he casually strolled down the busy Austin streets. He cut through a few alleyways, and popped out a few blocks away. Though he looked like a citizen going for a casual stroll, he knew just where he was going. It had taken a while to get the cash he needed, but snatching a few purses from some old ladies, and that one grab ‘n go hold up at the gas station finally gave him what he needed. His fingers felt around in his pockets for the wad of cash that was now bundled there, giving him an odd sense of security. 

None of his plans had worked out since landing back in Jersey last winter. He had tried being friendly and getting back into Y/N’s life the right way. He gave her space and time to realize her own mistakes, as well as hopefully accept and forgive his own. Nathan thought for sure that would bring them together, but instead, she just ran back to this new guy trying to forget all they had meant to each other since they were kids. Just thinking of it caused his heart to pound, and his fists to clench around the silky bundle of bills stashed in his pocket. That money was the key; it would get him what he needed to make one final convincing argument on his own behalf. If she didn’t see how they were meant to be after that, then he would have to go with Plan B.

Hours later, after he purchased the items he needed, he began to wander the streets, trying to clear his head some. As Nathan passed by a hulking skyscraper, he caught his reflection in the mirrored panels of the structure. He saw what a dirty mess he was and decided to head back to the abandoned warehouse outside of the city where most of Austin’s homeless settled in for the night. It was a risk since the cops liked to come in randomly and bust up the encampment, but one he was willing to take. There he could clean up some, find a change of clothes and try to look the part he needed to play for the next few days in order to win back Y/N, once and for all.

Nathan successfully bartered for a clean pair of jeans, an almost new shirt and one use of the make-shift shower. Once he was clean and newly clothed, he found a quiet corner where someone abandoned a sleeping bag, pillow and even a few packets of Ramen noodles. Being an expert at living on the street, Nathan found a way to make the food, then hunkered down onto the sleeping bag. As the soup cooled, he transferred the items from his old jeans to his new ones and then tossed them aside. He wouldn’t need them anymore, because after he talked to Y/N, they would be together, and she could buy him a whole new wardrobe. After all, she was working with the bigwigs now and he was certain she could afford it. 

Picking at the hot noodles, Nathan let himself reminisce on the days when he and Y/N were happy and carefree. Days on the beach, nights on the boardwalk, him and her hand-in-hand. Countless days spent out on her dad’s boat with her and her brother Dave, and just as many nights drinking under the boards, dreaming of what life was like far away from Seaside. Y/N dreamt of being a rock star or some dumb shit, but Nathan knew she wouldn’t have the guts to really leave their hometown. She was a born and bred local, and no real locals ever got too far away. When she actually left and went on to make a new life for herself, he felt betrayed. He felt abandoned and hurt that he wasn’t enough to keep her put. Now, as he sat on the rumpled sleeping back with a cup of steaming, tasteless noodles in hand, he let his free hand slip into the pocket of his jeans again. This time it wasn’t the bulk of cash giving him comfort, but the touch of the cool metal that lived in his pocket. 

“One way or another,” he mumbled, tossing the soup aside with disgust, “I will have my girl and my life back.”

Austin, Day Before Festival Kicks Off...

Thirty-six hours from the start of the festival, Jensen, Y/N, Briana, Robbie, Jared, Gen, Mama and about two hundred volunteers stuffed themselves into the theater where the Burlesque troop would be performing the following evening. The seven of them stood on the stage watching as swarms of people claimed a seat, all talking excitedly about the events that were to follow. Most of them were familiar faces to Jensen and Jared, having worked on the show with them for so long, but the ones they didn’t know, didn’t give them a second of pause or concern. They were all here to lend their time and services for free in an effort to do their part for the city. Every single person that walked through the doors of that theater had been background checked, and vetted through a private sponsor to ensure the safety of the festival goers, the bands, and especially those behind the scenes putting it all together. 

That was one thing Jensen had insisted on when the idea of community volunteers had first come up. It was well before he and Y/N had fallen in love and had run-ins with Nathan and Dee. He needed to be sure that everyone involved would be safe, and in turn the weekend could be a huge success. Two separate private security firms had been hired, with special attention focused on keeping Nathan out. Jensen didn’t think Dee would have the nerve to show her face, but he made sure that each member of the security team had Nathan’s photo and full description. 

Getting lost in his own thoughts as the stream of volunteers finally closed the vestibule doors, he barely noticed Robbie setting up a microphone and begin addressing the crowd. It wasn’t until Y/N casually made her way to his side and brushed against his shoulder, was he able to pull away from his own mind and come back to the present. 

“You okay there, Hollywood?” she whispered, casually glancing at him from the corner of her eye. “Big crowd here. You got stage fright all of a sudden or something?”

“Huh?” he asked, then quickly shook his head, “No, I’m fine. Just… thinking.”

“About?”

“All of this,” he said and snorted a laugh. “I mean, look at what you put together… all of these people are here because they believe in what you created--”

“What WE created. Jay,” Y/N grabbed Jensen’s hand, and despite two hundred pairs of eyes watching them, turned him towards her and kissed his lips. “I didn’t do this, you didn’t do this. Not Robbie, Bri, Mama… But ALL of us together.”

Before Jensen could respond, Robbie turned his attention towards them, holding out the microphone. When neither of them knew why, he raised his eyebrows then covered the top of the mic with his hand. 

“You wanna jump in on this pep talk, kids?”

Jensen cleared his throat and passed Robbie a sarcastic smile. “My pleasure.” He took the microphone in hand and before he could speak, the applause radiated towards him from the theater like a shock wave. He felt his heart surge at the entire crowd, much like it did every time he was on stage at a convention. The overwhelming love and gratitude was hard to miss when in this type of setting. 

“Thank you guys, really. Y’all are far too kind. It's us who should be applauding you! Because no matter how hard we have collectively worked to put this whole thing together, without you guys lending your time and efforts, it just wouldn’t be possible.”

Another surge of applause from the captivated audience caused Jensen to lower the mic and just enjoy the moment. 

“Seriously, from the bottom of all our hearts, we thank you for not only the love and support you’ve shown us from the get go, but for the love and dedication you are showing to the city of Austin. All the proceeds from ticket sales this weekend will be divided among various city organizations that work towards education enrichment programs, women’s shelters, soup kitchens, including a new music and arts program that will benefit children and teenagers from all across the city.”

Applause again, but this time even more deafening. The sea of faces before him were smiling ear to ear and cheering loudly. As Jensen moved his vision to the right in what felt like slow motion, he caught the wide grins of his closest friends who were sharing the stage with him, who were also clapping along with the crowd. 

Jensen brought the mic up to say more, but he was at a loss for word. The energy and vibe in the theater that night left him speechless, and it took all his will to not let himself shed a tear. Y/N could see his emotions building under the surface, and gently took the mic from his hand. He smiled at her thankfully for it, and took a step back as she proceeded to prepare herself to address the crowd.

“We can’t thank you all enough for the support, and love you brought with you here not only for tonight, but for this entire weekend. Now, we don’t want to take up too much of your time, so I am going to pass the mic over to Ms. Briana Buckmaster who has a few quick things to go over with you. After that, Mama June and I will be at each end of the theater exits handing out your official volunteer shirts for the weekend. One last thing before we get to the nitty gritty, while you are out there working hard to make sure our guests have fun, don’t forget to stop and enjoy the festival yourselves! We have done our best to make sure that all volunteers get plenty of breaks to go enjoy the food and music, as well as give each of you a free admission voucher to pass along to a family member, friend, or just someone you know who would enjoy the event but can’t afford to buy their own ticket. We want this to be an all-inclusive event. So have fun, work hard, and let’s make this something not only the city of Austin, but every other town and city represented here, will never forget!”

For the last time that night, the volunteers cheered and applauded the words of love and encouragement bestowed on them. Y/N passed the microphone to Bri, who’s smile lit up her dimples nearly as bright as the lights of the theater. Briana pulled Y/N into a big hug and held her tightly. Right before she let go, Bri squeezed her and whispered in her ear, “You’ve come a long way from that scared, nervous woman I met New Year’s Eve. I am so fucking proud of you!”

With that, Bri released her from the embrace, reset herself and turned to address the volunteers. Y/N took a step back to stand beside Jensen, and immediately felt his hand snake into hers. They watched on as Bri continued to captivate the audience with her distinct and charming way of explaining the processes and procedures for the weekend. Just as Bri wrapped up her part of the speech, Jensen and Y/N took a moment to meet each other’s gaze. Y/N had all but forgotten the call from the day before, and found herself feeling more confident than ever that everything they had worked so hard for would unfold without a hitch.

Tag List:

Everything:  @coffeebooksandfandom​ / @sorenmarie87​ / @yallgotkik​ / @thefaithfulwriter​ / @sister-winchesters99​ / @thymeheals​ / @keymology​ / @divadinag​

SPN RPF (Jensen): @screechingartisancashbailiff​ / @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ / @sandlee44​ / @wings-of-a-raven​ / @negans-wife​ / @kazosa​ / @deans-baby-momma​ / @teaspoin​ / @whiskeyandapplepie​ / @hobby27​ / @breereadsthings​ / @maddiepants​ / @adoptdontshoppets​ / @squirrelnotsam​ / @faughnphotography​ / @katehuntington​ / @his-paradox​ / @deansenwackles​ / @destielhoneybee​

When You Least Expect It:  @mrsjenniferwinchester​ / @vickyfarley​ / @winchest09​ / @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ / @aomi-nabi​ / @luciathewinchestergirl​ / @alexiswinchester​ / @seppys-return-to-madness / @donnaintx​ / @deans-baby-momma​ / @the-is13 / @stoneyggirl​ / @captaindorit0 / @fanfictionjunkie1112​ / @focusonspn​ / @deanwanddamons​ / @theebeee​ / @ultimatecin73​​ / @deanwinchesterswitch​​

Wanna get in on one of my tag lists? View the different Tag Lists, and send me an ask with which one you’d like to be on! Series Tags are on one sheet, Character tags on a second sheet.

[ironandsilvcr]

poor temper.

SUMMARY: taking place during new moon. you are paul lahote’s imprint, the two of you trying to take the whole bond thing slowly while you get your head around the whole wolf thing and get to know him. still, when you hear his temper could have been the cause of injury to bella swan you can’t help but say something. ( fluff with a little angst. requests are open. )

WORDCOUNT: 3,000

The length of time you spent at the reservation really shouldn’t have been surprising to anyone anymore. Schoolwork, your part-time job at the cafe you loved in Forks and trying to keep some sense of normality at home all tried to keep you away and yet, you still found yourself sat in Emily’s kitchen most Saturdays. Listening to the howling laughter of the boys whilst sat at the table doing homework. Sitting beside Paul and Embry watching a movie, you didn’t care what you did when you got there. You even helped Emily make a muffin or two, although no one could claim you were a match for her in the kitchen. Settling in amongst them all had been as easy as sighing after a long day, easy in a way you weren’t really prepared for. It almost seemed as if you had never needed to be anywhere else.

The packs reasons for inviting you tended to change. It was usually something like letting you get to know the pack, them needing another player for their board game of choice, or even just to escape the chaos of forks for a little while. You had however come to have your own suspicions. The pack was getting larger and you were no stranger to stories of Paul’s temper. It had been a point of warning for you once sat next to Emily at a bonfire. You had had to promise her to get out of harm’s way the second something had seemed off. There was a part of you wondered if he was simply easier to be around when you were there too. Something along the lines of making him softer, getting him to let his guard down. The thought was enticing, no matter how new this thing between the two of you. You had to admit it was endearing to think you could have such an effect on him.

Today had been one of the busier days between the sightings of the ginger vampire and Jacob admittedly struggling to handle the shift Paul had made it clear when he’d called the house phone that you weren’t likely to see much of him that day. You headed over to Emily’s anyway ignoring the feeling of disappointment in your gut. On busy days like these, you figured Emily was going to need all hands on deck to make sure the pack didn’t make a mess of her place.

The sound of a truck outside and the familiar hooting of wolves pulled you from your thoughts. Turning your head to grin at Emily. The boys were back and going by the fact none of them had run in at full speed yelling about a problem they were in one piece for now at least. Embry and Jared entered through the screen door and you busied yourself fetching some juice for the table, Emily taking the muffins from the oven.

“You guys hungry? Like I have to ask,” You heard Emily joke as you turned around, a grin spilling onto your own features as you knew exactly what appetite she was referring to.

Still, when you lifted your gaze to the door, it was not Sam, Paul or Jacob standing there, but rather none other than Bella Swan. A girl you had barely spoken to since you were kids.

“Who’s this?” You heard Emily ask looking to the boys for an answer, you meanwhile lifted your hand in a somewhat awkward wave. Luckily she didn’t really seem to notice too busy looking just about everywhere in the house but at Emily. You figured one of the boys must have mentioned her scars and she was now actively trying to avoid making this any worse than it had to be.

You couldn’t be sure whether or not Emily had noticed, but you watched her grin anyway as you moved to take your usual seat at the table leaving a seat between you and Jared that Paul would fill later. Shooting a confused look to the two boys who all of a sudden seemed hesitant to meet your gaze. The very fact that their behaviour was off and Bella was there meant that something must have happened. You opened your mouth ready to fill the silence and ask where the other three might be, but Emily beat you to it.

“So,” Emily hummed. “You’re the vampire girl,”

Relief washed over Bella’s features as she stepped into the room, her hands stuffed into her jacket pockets. You could help but be amused by Emily’s ability to put people at ease.

“So you’re the wolf girl,”

Laughter flashed over Emily’s features then, you could tell she’d decided at that moment that Bella maybe wasn’t as bad as some of the boys had made her out to be “I guess so… well I’m engaged to one,”

The moment the muffins finally hit the table you knew they weren’t they were going to last very long. Not that that stopped Emily from trying her hardest to make sure that the boys kept their manners reaching out to catch Jared’s hand.

“Save some for your brothers,” she sighed pushing their shoulders. “And ladies first,” Her eyes bounced between your’s and Bella’s then gesturing to the plate. You didn’t need to be told twice, having learnt from past experience that you needed to act fast.

“Sure, thanks.”Bella seemed to get the hint, heading over in your direction and taking one for herself.

“You okay Bella?” You asked cautiously, ensure what you could and couldn’t say even though she clearly looked like she had been shaken up.

She raised a brow in response, almost as if she had forgotten that you were there at all. “Yeah, I guess,” Bella shrugged. “Given… everything,”

You didn’t really have time to think about what it was that she might have meant as it seemed Emily had managed to put the pieces together much faster than you.

“Leave Jacob to figure out a way around Sam’s gag order,”

What really took you by surprise was just how calm she sounded.

“Wait… what?” You questioned seemingly the last to know. As far as you were aware the boys weren’t able to go against Sam, so just what has Jacob done?

“He um, didn’t tell me anything,”

“Yeah it’s a wolf thing,” Embry spoke despite the daggers you were shooting him over the table. “Alpha’s orders get obeyed whether we want ‘em to or not. Oh and check it out we can hear each other’s thoughts,”

You didn’t need wolf based telepathy to picture Sam cringing.

Luckily Embry’s comments were enough for Jared to try and step in even with his mouth full of crumbs. “Would you shut up? These are trade secrets. Damn it this chick runs with vampires,”

“You can’t really run with vampires,” Bella corrected to Emily’s amusement. “’ Cause they’re fast,”

You couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy about the way she found it so easy to talk about the bloodsuckers that you had become so scared of in the past few months. What would Bella have been like, you wondered, had your places been reversed and she had been witness to so many stories about the destruction the cold killers could leave in their wake.

“Yeah?” Jared commented as if he could hear your thoughts. Leaning forward as if it might make Bella take him more seriously. “Well, we’re faster, freaked out yet?”

Everything was going to be a competition to the pack it seemed but at that moment you were glad for the normality. Shaking your head at just how standoffish Jared could appear to be to strangers.

Bella shook her head, you could have applauded her for the way that she was willing to stand up for herself. “You’re not the first monsters I’ve met,”

“Jake’s right,” Sam spoke from where he finally appeared in the doorway. His appearance a welcome sight to everyone. “You’re good with weird,”

You watched him walk across the room then his focus on Emily alone. He took the few steps across the kitchen to reach her side before he whispered the softest ‘hey’ you ever heard and kissed her about a hundred times.

It always made you feel a little odd watching Sam and Emily, despite how dear the two of them had become to you. They were the only other imprinted couple in the pack and were about as close to true love as two people could get and that was from the viewpoint of an outsider. The fact that you and Paul had the chance to have a similar relationship was not lost on you, even if you preferred not to think about it for the moment. Imprint or not, you owed it to him to get to know him as a person rather than just the wolf.

Seemingly responding to your thoughts Jake and Paul arrived on the porch a few moments later, shoving at each other in a way that had become familiar and playful. Whatever tension you had been holding dissolving for a moment at the sight. Clearly, whatever it was that had happened out there had done no permanent damage.

Jake and Bella were, of course, wrapped up in each other from the moment he arrived, you, however, could say nothing given the way that Paul’s eyes lighten slightly upon noticing you at the table. You grin as his hand brushes against your shoulder and he, as predicted, pulled out the seat beside you and reached for a snack of his own. It was no big romantic gesture compared to what you had seen between Sam and Emily but it was enough for the two of you at that moment.

Then when after he had seemingly convinced himself that you were indeed real rather than something made up in his mind. He turned to Bella, the grin still filling his features highlighting the way that he could never manage to take things seriously.

“Sorry,”

Sorry? You questioned. What had happened?

You didn’t miss the way that Jared had to get five dollars out of his shorts to hand to Embry five dollars, that being the biggest clue any of them could have given.

Bella and Jacob disappeared a few seconds later off to one of the beaches most likely. The pair leaving behind a few beats of silence after they left like the others needed to catch their breath. It was a big deal for all of you, trusting someone else with such intimate knowledge not just about the pack but about their tribe.

“Something tells me we’re going to be seeing her more often,” Sam spoke from where he was still standing, arms wrapped around Emily like he hadn’t seen her in months.

Embry scoffed shaking his head. “As long as she knows that she has to keep quiet,“

“Says you!” Jared spoke in disbelief.

The shook your head then, despite the softness you held towards the pack their bickering could still be annoying.

“Look,” you sighed. “Is one of you going to bite the bullet and say what happened, or are Em and I supposed to figure it out for ourselves?”

The mood at the table shifted then, the boys looking over to Paul expectedly while the playfulness alighting his features disappeared. Clearly, you were more frightening than Bella.

“Well?” you asked pointedly looking between the four of them for answers.

“You should have seen it y/n,” Embry spoke excitedly. “Jacob phased like that,” snapping his fingers for effect.

“Embry shut up,” Paul huffed in his seat beside you. He looked more anxious than before like he was scared of something.

Sam got the hint then, moving from Emily’s side to clasp the two other boys on the shoulder. “C’ mon lets give them the room,”

Paul shot him a grateful glance, while Emily moved to squeeze your shoulder lightly before following after the other three.

You waited until you were sure the two of you were alone before shifting in your seat. Moving to take Paul’s hand, not really thinking about anything other than the way he always seemed to find comfort from your touch. It must have been an imprint thing you guessed. Standing with his arm around your shoulder, or a hand or in the small of your back, or even sitting so close your legs brushed under the table. The two of you had long surpassed any form of physical boundaries in that regard.

“You gonna tell me what happened? Remember unlike most people in your house I can’t read your mind to help you out,”

That caused him to laugh at least.

“We were heading over to Billy’s to check on Jake, you know what he’s been like lately,”

You nodded. Jake had been the first real newcomer to the pack you had witnessed, you had been too new yourself when Embry had phased, but even with your limited experience, you could tell he wasn’t taking it all that well.

“Well Bella was over for something, I don’t know, and so she bolts up to the four of us and starts yellingat Sam. Really aside from Jake I don’t think anyone’s ever really yelled at him like that ever. Anyway, she’s shoving at him and I’m already frustrated thinking Jake must have told her somehow and then she makes this claim that he’s afraid of us and that’s why he’s not speaking, which of course I laugh at because, you know, Jake’s our brother, but she really didn’t like that because next, she slaps me right across the face,”

You couldn’t help but cringe, not because it would hurt but that might have been the stupidest decision Bella had made in her entire life.

“So then I just can’t take it anymore and I phase right there in front of her,”

“Poor girl you must have given her a heart attack,” You sighed. There could be no doubt the wolves were an intimidating sight when a person first lay eyes on them.

“I mean it was fine,” He backtracked “Because Sam had gotten her to at least give me some space, and I at least had enough sense not to hurt her, but then Jake comes running out of the house, volts over the porch and shifts jumping over Bella as she ran away,”

You raised your brow at that, unsure if you had heard of anyone else shifting that fast.

“Anyway the two of us got into a bit of a fight and may have broken Billy’s boat,”

You sighed then, resting your forehead on your free palm for just a moment. “Well for starters I hope you apologised,”

He nodded. “Look y/n -” He went to speak before you cut him off.

“That was stupid you know,” You sighed although there was no real annoyance in your tone. “If she’d been standing closer if there had been someone else with her…” Your thoughts providing a never-ending list of just how that could have been so much worse. Still, you don’t move your hand from his. You had known that his temper was an issue right from the first time he took you to First beach. it was not going to scare you away now.

“I know it doesn’t sound like it, but I did try to stay calm,” There was a degree of tenderness in his tone, directly related to the way that (admittedly unsaid) you simply refused to be scared off.

You nodded then. “I’m sure,” If there was one thing you had faith in it was that Paul was a lot more emotional and caring then people might think initially. “Listen if she slapped me I would have been… Maybe just try and remember how intimidating you guys can be from the outside next time alright?”

He seemed to visibly relax then, squeezing at your hand a little more and slumping back into a more comfortable posture in his chair somewhat, even though it seemed like there was still something he needed to say.

“It’s just with this and what happened to Emily, I just didn’t want you to think that I wasn’t trying, or didn’t take this seriously. I’m not going to put you in danger, I’d rather die,”

The two of you had had plenty of quiet intimate moments between the two of you, with just how loud the pack could be, and how chaotic your life was at the best of times they were necessary just to make sure the two of you had some time together, but you could have sworn you’d never seen him be that vulnerable until that moment. Emotions were usually something Paul could disguise pretty well so for something to have shaken him up this much must have been a pretty big deal.

“I know,” You spoke gently, looking right at him. “Just like I know exactly what signs to watch out for if things get bad… I’m not going anywhere Paul, so you can stop worry about scaring me off,” Usually you wouldn’t have been so stern with him, but it was what he needed to hear at that moment.

Getting up from your seat, you saw a second of confusion in his gaze whilst you closed the gap between you and wrapped your arms around his (quite bare) shoulders. Not really thinking about what it was you were doing you pressed a kiss to his cheek, before the two of you just held onto each other in a moment of silence.

Then when you were sure you had been of some comfort to him, you pulled away and grabbed his hand again. You tugged until he stood up from his chair a stray hand coming to reach for your waist.

“C’ mon,” You spoke lightly. “We should go catch up to the others. Emily will want to make sure you’re okay,”

[collecting-stories]

Secret Santa - Connor Murphy

A/N: Getting some things out before Christmas comes. Ah! 

It’s Christmas time and the reader got Connor Murphy for secret Santa. 

-

“It’s secret Santa, it’s anonymous.” Jared pointed out, looking passed you toward the sign for the food court. It’d only been ten minutes since he parked the car and you walked inside but Panera was really starting to call to him.

“No, it’s supposed to be a surprise to the other person, it’s not anonymous.” You replied, ignoring his longing looks and starting to walk again, “What if we got each other? And then I give him his present and it’s shit and he’s gotten me something nice.”  

“Knowing him he’ll have forgotten until the day of and end up giving whoever he got a joint.” Jared pointed out. “Or Wednesday Addams will have a freak-out and then no gifts.”

“Can you just help me?”  

“Alright, alright. I gotta buy a present for Evan anyway.”  

“You got Evan?” You asked.  

“Unfortunately.” Jared had been tempted to the name back in Zoe’s jar and pick again, not exactly wanting to tackle buying a present for Evan. He would have preferred Alana or even Zoe, he could have just gotten off with an itunes giftcard and a cheesy card.  

“Please, Evan is easy.” You had gotten Evan last year and given him a forest guide, plus when the weather cleared the two of you had taken a trip to the state park together. Connor had not participated last year.  

“Connor is easy too, buy him a joint or lay on his bed naked...he’d probably be down for both.” It was no secret that you and Connor had a thing going on. If you could call awkward flirting and pinning over each other from a distance a thing.  

You thought that going away to college would make it harder to keep in touch with everyone but somehow with Connor, it had become easier. While Evan had opted for in-state (closer to Zoe he claimed but closer to his mom you were sure), you and Jared had both ended up out of state, at the same college. Connor was “taking a year off” and working and yet you were certain he spent more time in your dorm than your roommate did. He drove the four hours up on Friday nights and stayed until Sunday evening, you texted him constantly and had managed to convince him to make a snapchat (“So I can see your beautiful face every day”). But you were just friends. Or something along that line, he hadn’t talked about wanting more and you were afraid that if you mentioned it he would want less.  

“Jared!” You hissed, glaring at him.  

“You could lay on my bed naked.” He smiled cheekily, earning an eye roll from you.  

“Keep dreaming.”  

“What about money?” It was what he was thinking about getting Evan and at least if you gave Connor money too then he wouldn’t get flack from Alana about his gift being impersonal.

“I was thinking something more personal than that. You’re not helpful.”  

“I never said I would be. Besides I thought you got me and that’s why you wanted to go out.” Jared pointed out.  

“I needed a car. You have a car.” You replied, shrugging.  

“I can’t believe you used me for my car.”  

“Jared, focus, presents.”  

-

You weren’t surprised when Zoe told you that Connor would not be joining the party. He had, according to her, had a blow-out tantrum over something Larry had said earlier and had locked himself in his room. And despite her warning not to go upstairs you did anyway, carrying your giftbag with you. Willingly choosing to take your chances on Connor when you could easily stay downstairs with the rest of the party.  

You knocked on his closed bedroom door, listening for his inevitable ‘fuck off’.  

“What?” Connor shouted, a harsh tone to his voice.  

“Is it okay if I come in?”  

“Tell Zoe I’m not coming downstairs,” he yelled, “this whole thing is stupid.”  

You waited for a minute, mulling over whether you should go back downstairs before finally deciding to try one more time. “Connor?”

“Go away.”

“I’m not here to drag you downstairs Connor, I got your name for secret Santa so, stupid or not I have a present for you,” you held up the bag as proof even though he couldn’t see it.  

While you couldn’t hear the sigh that escaped his lips you could imagine it. “Come in.”

“So, it’s not much, but,” you handed over the present as you came in, standing awkwardly at the edge of his bed. He was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling and throwing a hackey-sac up in the air. He looked over at you, managing to catch the sac before it landed on his face and sat up, taking the gift bag.  

“I didn’t get you anything.” He mentioned, picking at tissue paper.  

“It’s not a big deal, I got your name so-“ You shrugged.  

“That’s what I mean. I got your name too.”  

“Just give me a joint or something, it’s really not that important. If you don’t wanna participate you don’t have to.” Zoe made everyone pick names at her friends-giving, which Connor also made himself scarce from. He didn’t want to be part of the secret Santa and he’d told her enough times that she should have known but she insisted that he take part.  

It didn’t matter to you that he hadn’t gotten you anything. Regardless of the idea, the intent of the tradition was not to receive. And besides, he had given you plenty. He stopped at Starbucks every Friday and brought you ridiculously overpriced lattes. He bought you packs of pens or notebooks or random things he found while stocking shelves at Target. He spent money on gas driving eight hours every weekend just to see you. No gift could top that.  

“Yeah but I still feel shitty about it now.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t get you a present?”

“I thought Zoe would tell you I wasn’t gonna do it.” He replied, fiddling with the tag, you’d written his name in pretty cursive.  

“Well too late for that, open your present, I wanna see if you like it.”

“Thought you said it wasn’t a big deal?”  

“It’s not.”

“Seems like it.” He mumbled, pulling different tissue-wrapped gifts out. It wasn’t much. A pair of socks with marijuana leaves on them, a dark grey sweater that looked warm and that Evan had weirdly known the right size for, a moleskine sketch-book and some watercolors that you’d spent way too much money on, and a set of Christmas themed scrunchies as a gag. He held up the pack of scrunchies, shaking them and watching the bells on the red one jingle.

There was a long pause, thoughtful even, as he looked over the presents that you had spent the weeks between Thanksgiving break and Christmas break mulling over. The green scrunchie in the pack was velvet and he tore the plastic binding them together so he could pull his hair back with that one. It was his favorite color and while he realized that it was just a stupid variety pack he recognized from a display at his Target, he knew there were two other packs as well. Maybe it was too much to be hopeful for but he sort of wished you had chosen that specific one because of the green.  

You were still standing there, waiting in silence. Watching him patiently. You gave the best gifts, he knew from experience. In third grade you made everyone in class ornaments out of intricately folded paper. You’d made him a snowflake and glittered the edges dark green and told him you hoped he liked it because you knew that was his favorite color. The paper was a page from your favorite book, you had mentioned when he attempted to make out as many words as he could. Tuck Everlasting, you said you’d been to the town where they filmed and it was right by the beach.  

He hadn’t said it then but he had thought about how fun it would be to go to the beach with you.

“Hold on,” Connor jumped up and went over to his desk. He made a show of rummaging through papers and drawers.  

“Connor,” You stayed in place but twisted your body to follow his movements.  

“I’ve got something I can give you.”  

“It’s really not a-“

“Not a big deal, I know, I know, just, just close your eyes.” He requested, turning back toward you.  

“Why?”  

“Just do it okay?”

You closed your eyes and waited for whatever might happen next. His footsteps were muffled by the carpet but you felt his hands on your upper arms. You could hear him breath and, as he leaned in, you realized you could feel his breath on your face. Just as you were about to open your eyes and ask what he was doing you felt his nose brush against yours and his lips press a kiss to yours. It wasn’t anything especially romantic or passionate. It was quick, a closed mouth kiss, just the ghost of the feeling of Connor’s mouth on yours and then he was gone. You opened your eyes and he was still holding your upper arms but he was looking at you a little more vulnerably than before.  

And you opened your mouth to say something intelligent but the only thing that came out was, “Oh, thank you.”

The nerves broke and Connor smiled, teeth and all, so close to laughter he let you go to cover his mouth, “did you just say thank you?”

“You said it was a present,” you dumbly replied, the heat of embarrassment warming your face.  

“No one says thank you after someone kisses them.”  

“Maybe they do if it’s a present.”  

“I don’t think so.” Connor teased. He undid his bun and then tied it back up, a nervous habit you’d picked up on from all the times he spent at your dorm.  

“Well next time I won’t say thank you.”  

“You might. I might be that good a kisser.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You tried for even an ounce of sass but all you could muster was the same tone of awe you’d had since he kissed you. He had kissed you and your whole body felt like it was tingling with a wonderful buzz of happiness.  

“Who do you have to stack me up against other than Evan?” He joked, sitting back on his bed. He was trying to play it cool, doing a better job than you, though he was still filled with nerves. Had he read the situation right? Did you feel the same way about him that he felt about you?

“Oh god, Zoe told you about that?” You paled at the thought of Connor knowing about that kiss. A dare Freshmen year of high school.  

“Jared.”

“That’s even worse!” You groaned.  

“It’s not so bad.” Connor replied, “didn’t turn me off the idea of kissing you.”

-

I’m finally posting again and it’s still whatever I want...sorry, its the most I can do for now. 

[talesfromthesnogbox]

Stuck Here With you

Rating: M (Rating for explicit conversations about sex) 

Words: 3,586

Summary: Richie and Eddie are stuck quarantining themselves together... what could possibly go wrong? OR based on this tweet: "@cjkasulke: APPARENTLY you have all just been *waiting* for this moment to confess your love to your roommates, so many of you live with people you have been silently in love with for y e a r s"

Notes: This is so stupid. Yes, I wrote a quarantine fic. Yes, this whole thing is a serious matter and I am an adult who's working from home and it all sucks, and there are people dying all over the world, and I do care, but I just thought people needed a little bit of a laugh, ya know? Anyways, this is wildly out of character and not good in general, but drop a comment if you like it, or if you think I'm a horrible person, whateves.

AO3

*~*~*~*~*

Richie woke from his catnap with a startled jump as he heard the front door slam shut.

“Jesus Eds, is it 6:30 already? Did I sleep all day?” He asked with a laugh.

“No asshole, it’s noon.” Eddie slammed his briefcase on the breakfast bar and worked his tie open. “This pandemic bullshit has gotten out of control.”

“Is that why you’re home right now…”

“Yes! Jared that fucking lunatic went off and brought some girl home last weekend and now he’s got a fever, so we were all sent home, and I’m stuck in isolation.”

Eddie was pissed, but Richie could see through his thinly veiled layer of anger; there was fear.

“Oh. Do you hang around Jared a lot at work?”

He sighed. “No, no I don’t, but it’s just a precaution until he can get tested properly.”

“That’s good then, right?”

It was good. After seven full days, Eddie finally emerged from his room with a cheery smile. “Jared’s in the clear, turns out he just picked up some STD, and I get to go back into work tomorrow.” He plopped down on the couch.

“That’s great Eds, but I hate to break it to you…” Richie pointed towards the TV where the headline read “California officially shut down”.

The first few days felt like any weekend would. They had extra groceries delivered, they binged some true crime documentary on Netflix, they had a group Skype session with the Losers, they did pretty much anything that took their minds off the current situation. But then the fifth day hit.

It was only 7am when Richie dragged himself out of bed for a coffee. Sure it was early, and he had nowhere to be, but time meant nothing anymore.

Usually Richie’s clamoring about the kitchen woke Eddie up. The first few nights that Eddie moved in after Derry were rough; turns out, Eddie was a pretty light sleeper, and Richie was loud. But today, there was no Eddie in sight.

He continued on his way, pouring himself a bowl of cereal when he saw it through the window to his backyard… and promptly spilled milk all over the counter.

On the bright side, Richie had found Eddie. The only downfall was he’d found him in a pair of tiny running shorts and a tank top doing squats on his deck.

“Fuck!” Richie swore, grabbing a tea towel to clean up the mess he’d made.

“Richie?” Eddie stopped his squats and ran into the house. “What the fuck happened dickwad?”

“N-nothing, nothing happened, it’s just early and I lost my grip.”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“So um… what’s happening in the backyard there, Jillian Michaels?” Richie giggled.

“Fuck off. I usually go to the gym before work, but now that the gym’s closed, I had to improvise.”

“Ahh, I see, trying to pick up the new future Mrs. K with…” with thighs I want to wear as earmuffs and that tight ass? He was glad there was an entire counter between them to hide the fact that he was currently at half-mast.

Eddie gave him a strange look and shook his head. “Shut the fuck up. I’m a divorced 40-year-old living with his best friend, I don’t think I’m going to be picking someone up that easily at the gym. Besides, Santa Monica women aren’t really my type…”

“Oh? Well when this is all over, I know a few places we can go pick up chicks. West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, hell even Studio City. Name your type Eds, we’ll find her.”

“Aren’t you gay? How do you know so much about picking up women?”

“Closet case my boy.” Richie winked and took a bite of his cereal. “I’m as good of an actor as I am a comedian.”

“No wonder there were never any articles about how much of a playboy you were then.” Eddie said straight-faced, walking back out to finish his work out.

“Eds gets off a good one!”

*~*~*~*~*

After that eventful morning, Richie tried his hardest to stay in bed until after Eddie’s morning routine was done. One almost-embarrassing situation in his pants was enough to last a lifetime around his best friend of however-many years, he did not need it to escalate from there.

As the days passed on, the two of them found ways to entertain themselves. Eddie took to reading on the deck in the mild April weather, and Richie decided to pick up his guitar again for the first time in years.

He was a little rusty, but after a few hours of practice, it was like riding a bike, and before he knew it, he was back playing the tune he’d spent hours playing as a teenager.

Richie hummed along to the tune of “Eddie My Love” as his fingers formed the familiar chords with ease. He didn’t even realize Eddie walking in from the backyard, a stunned look on his face.

“Rich?” He jumped, startled at the sound of the other man.

“Hey Eds, sorry was I being loud?”

“N-no.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know you played.”

Richie chuckled. “Yeah, I picked it up in high school after Went agreed to teach me a bit. I was in a band in college, but we kinda sucked.”

Eddie scoffed. “You don’t suck, that tune is lovely. What is it?”

Richie’s face felt hot all the sudden. “Uhh, I can’t really remember the name, just something I used to play a bunch. It’s an oldie my mom really liked.”

“Can you teach me?”

His eyes widened. “Y-yeah, here, come sit.” He moved more away from the body and more towards the neck of his acoustic, allowing Eddie to sit nestled between his folded legs. “Okay, um so you hold it like this, and your fingers go here.” Richie curled Eddie’s fingers around the neck of the guitar, placing them in the correct spots on the frets. “So we start with a G chord.” His other arm snaked around Eddie’s shoulder to show him how to strum the chord.

Eddie shivered, completely engulfed by his best friend, noticing for the first time how much he loved his arms being wrapped around him like this.

“Then we move to an E minor.” Richie shifted Eddie’s fingers again and strummed. “Then A minor, and up to D.”

Eddie moved his fingers, pliant beneath Richie’s big hand. His heart beat fast, and he could feel Richie’s breath warm on his shoulder as he played.

For a moment, Eddie could convince himself that Richie felt the same way about him, but only for a moment. They were best friends, and just because Richie was gay, it didn’t mean he was interested in Eddie, no matter how hard he wished that he was. He would never have Richie, but he’d always have this moment.

*~*~*~*~*

“Alright, that’s it. We’re getting drunk.” Richie pulled out a rather large bottle of vodka and a few other spirits. “I’m mixing you up a quarantini.”

“A what now?”

“Quarantini, Eds. We’re getting shitfaced.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Rich, there’s no way in hell I’d—” he paused. Maybe this was the perfect way to come on to Richie. Lowered inhibitions were a great excuse to do something potentially stupid, and if it all went sour, he could blame it on the alcohol. “You know what, fuck it. Mix me a quarantini.”

“That’s the spirit!” He mixed the drinks and dragged Eddie over to the couch. “Alright, we’re indulging tonight. I want not a peep from you. I never got to do any of this gay shit before, and now is the perfect excuse to start a new series. We’re watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

Eddie nodded his head. “Drag racing, okay cool, I like cars.”

Richie burst out laughing. “No asshole, drag race… like drag queens.” He popped on a random season and hit play.

Four episodes and many quarantinis later, both Eddie and Richie were yelling at the TV.

“How could they send April home, she’s like the hottest one there!” Eddie put his hands up.

“Right? Look at how hot he is ugh I just wanna…” Eddie glanced over at Richie with a smirk. “Shut up.”

“No, no, I see it.” He pulled out his phone, April’s instagram profile already loaded. “The scruff is driving me mental.”

Richie chuckled. “Eds, that sounds kinda gay.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” Eddie said, face heating up. “Um, surprise?”

“Oh… shit dude, yeah, um, congratulations. Thanks for telling me.” Richie brought his friend into a tight hug, the alcohol running through his system making him feel a little light headed.

“Thanks for being cool about it.” Eddie mumbled, pulling away a bit, but still resting within Richie’s grasp.

“Hey man, I get it… I’m a closet case too.” He laughed.

The two were silent for a moment, content in each other’s grasp, until Eddie couldn’t handle the silence anymore. “Come on, next episode. I hope Laganja gets booted, I can’t stand her.”

Many episodes and quarantinis later, Eddie was fully shitfaced.

“Come on, bedtime for Eds.”

Eddie giggled. “Yeah Rich, take me to bed.” He waggled his eyebrows in a way that made Richie’s heart stutter.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough from you.” Richie deposited Eddie onto the bed, helping him with his shirt, when Eddie pulled him down hard.

“Oops, sorry Rich.” He giggled. “’s not my fault, you’re trying to get me out of my clothessss.”

“You’re wearing jeans, I can’t let you go to bed in jeans Eddie. What kind of asshole wears jeans in quarantine.” Richie giggles, undoing Eddie’s zip and pulling his jeans down his hairless legs. Fuck, his legs are amazing. “Eds, do you wax?” Richie giggled, rubbing a hand up his thigh.

“Pffftt, we’re in isolation shithead, I haven’t been to my wax girl in weeks.”

A jubilant laugh bubbled from Richie’s chest. “Shit, I’ve learned more about you tonight than I have in all the years I’ve known you. You really are a twunk.”

“A what now?”

Richie planted himself down on the bed beside Eddie. “Twunk, hunky twink.”

A look of realization dawned on Eddie. “Ohhhh, that makes a lot of sense. The dude at the checkout told me I was a twunk when I went to buy those underwear without the butt.”

Richie’s brain went blank. “Eddie, do you wear thongs?”

“No asshole, the other thing without the butt. Jock something, I can’t remember.”

“A jockstrap? Eddie are you trying to kill me right now?”

“Shut the fuck up asshole! They’re good for working out in. And they don’t give me lines in my nice suit pants.” Richie was speechless. “So if I’m a twunk, what are you?”

“I—I—I think it’s time for bed.”

“Oh.” Eddie said sounding dejected. “O-or we could just hang out?”

Richie was at an impasse. He knew they were walking a thin line right now, and he shouldn’t stay, but he wanted to see where this would take him, he didn’t want to leave Eddie’s side.

“I think I could hang out for a bit.”

Their “hanging out” didn’t last very long. Within ten minutes, the two men were out cold.

Richie woke up first the next morning and left the soundly sleeping Eddie to go make a pot of coffee. His head was pounding, and as much as he knew the bright sunlight was going to burn his eyes, the fresh air couldn’t hurt.

He’d never been more thankful for his manager who also happened to be a fantastic decorator. The outdoor couch may have seemed stupid to him when he first bought the place, but at times like this, it was a great choice. He could relax, and look out towards the ocean, and forget everything that happened the night before.

That is until Eddie decided to join him.

Richie’s breath left his lungs once he got a good look at his friend. It was like a blast from the past seeing him in a pair of tiny red running shorts, much like those he wore when he was a kid, but now… now they were so much more. Richie’s mouth watered when his eyes caught a good look at how Eddie’s ass filled out the shorts. A large tank top donned his torso, one that Richie had been gifted, and definitely not been too comfortable wearing himself judging by how low cut the arm holes were. He looked hot, not that he wasn’t always attracted to Eddie, but this felt like something had changed, a sexual awakening of sorts, and Richie would never look at his friend the same way.

“Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been so hungover.” Eddie complained as he sat beside Richie. “That stupid drink went down like water.”

“Yeah man I hear you, I feel like shit.”

“I had fun though, it’s been a long time since I’ve had that much fun.”

Richie looked over to him. “No regrets about spilling your guts then?”

Eddie winced. “Okay, maybe you didn’t have to hear about what kind of underwear I prefer.”

Richie burst out laughing. “No, I definitely appreciated that tidbit of information, Eds. I’m proud that my twunk theory was right.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself you coward.” Richie mumbled to himself.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“N-nothing.” He said, darting inside. “Going to work on my new show, I’ll see you in a bit.”

Richie had to get out of there. Last night was a lot, sure, but something felt different today. Seeing Eddie in his boxer briefs felt almost safer than whatever the hell he was wearing today. It’s almost like… almost like he’d purposely dressed up for Richie, and it was killing him. He didn’t know how much more he could take before he combusted.

Unfortunately for Richie, this new look seemed to be Eddie’s new uniform. Richie could tell that now Eddie was out to him, he felt more comfortable being himself, but Richie hated every second of it.

He dreaded seeing Eddie in the morning, dreaded knowing what fresh hell lay beyond his bedroom door in the form of a 5’9 firey bundle of sex personified.

Nearly a month into their quarantine, it was finally warm enough for Richie to sit out by the pool. He donned the brightest swim trunks he could find and rubbed his pale skin down with sunscreen, soaking up some vitamin D.

He’d been out there for just under an hour when he heard (and felt) a splash from the pool where Eddie jumped in.

“Okay, I take back everything bad I ever said about you having a pool when the ocean is right there. The pool is definitely more relaxing than the beach.”

Richie giggled. “I told you, asshole.”

“Oh, and I totally figured out what you are now. If I’m a twunk, you’re an otter.”

“A what now?” Richie removed his sunglasses and moved to sit on the edge of the pool.

“An otter.” Eddie rested his elbows on Richie’s thighs as his calves framed his torso. “At least that’s what I think. It’s like a softer bear. You’re not quite as big and not enough hair to be a bear, and you’re still too thin to be a cub, so you’re an otter.”

“I understood exactly none of what you said except for ‘bear’. I met a bear on Grindr just before Derry that made me realize I like being the bigger body in bed.” Richie winked saucily.

“So you’re a top then Trashmouth?”

Richie’s brows rose into his hairline. “I—I—we are not talking about this right now, not when you’re this close to my dick.”

“Oh come on, you used to talk about your dick all the time.”

“Yeah, I was a closeted kid who’s balls hadn’t dropped yet, obviously I wanted to come off as heterosexual as I could.”

Eddie laughed. “Okay, good point.”

The two sat in the same position for a few minutes, exchanging no words between them. It felt intimate, it felt like Eddie was flirting with him, but he’d never been good at picking up signs. Could Eddie want this too?

“I am though.” He said quietly, finally breaking the silence.

“You’re what?”

Richie’s heart thudded in his chest. “A top, I guess. I don’t mind bottoming, I like it, but I guess I just…”

Eddie grinned. “You like being in charge?”

“No, fuck no.” Richie laughed.

“Really? Huh, okay.” Eddie nodded, mostly to himself.

“Hey, what the fuck does that mean?”

“Nothing, nothing at all Tozier.” Eddie pushed off of Richie’s legs and floated on his back towards the inflatable lounger.

*~*~*~*~*

The week that followed was agonizing. All Eddie wore was those stupid shorts and a variation of t-shirt/tank-top/fucking crop top, and it was driving Richie mental. He felt like a teenager again, he’d never had so many hard-ons in one week in his life.

It was only a matter of time before Richie snapped.

Richie was descending the stairs from his room one fateful morning and groaned rather loudly when he saw what was waiting for him.

The shorts seemed shorter, tighter on his ass (damn all those squats he does) and his already short shirt seemed to rise up, showing the lovely dimples on his lower back as he reached for a bowl from a high shelf.

“Hey Rich, can you help me… what’s wrong?”

He huffed out a laugh. “What’s wrong? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Wh—did I do something?”

Richie stared at Eddie in disbelief. “Did you… did you do someth—the shorts man, what’s with the shorts!”

“The shorts? I always wear the shorts.”

“I fucking know you always wear the shorts, that’s the problem!” Richie’s stomach rolled. He thought he was going to throw up, he’d never been this candid about his feelings in his life.

“You have a problem with the way I dress? Fuck you, dude.”

“Fuck me yourself you coward!”

Both men fell silent. The tension could be cut with a knife, it was so thick between them.

“Richie?”

“Fuck man, I’m sorry I freaked out on you like that, I just don’t know if I can take this anymore. We’ve been cooped up for a month and I swear I’ve done more jacking off in the last month than I ever did as a teenager.” As good as it felt to spill his guts, he definitely thought he was going to pass out any second.

“I—I don’t…”

“The worst part is, it’s not even just that I’m horny. It’s you! Shit man, I’ve been dreaming of you since we were fucking teenagers. And now… now here you are looking like a goddamn… a goddamn what’s the word… a goddamn snack, telling me shit about the sexy underwear you buy, and asking me if I’m a top. Eddie, I don’t know if you’re flirting with me or not, but Jesus fucking Christ, it’s taking every single fiber of my willpower to not rip your clothes off right now.”

Eddie held back a smile. “Wait, I’m sorry, what? You couldn’t tell I was flirting with you? Are you fucking blind? Actually don’t answer that, I know you’re fucking blind.”

Richie was sure he was gonna get a nosebleed any second. “S-so you were flirting with me?”

Eddie laughed out loud. “Yes you idiot! Literally since the moment I got here, I have been flirting with you. You didn’t get the hint that I have feelings for you?”

“What the fuck, no man! Like you said, I’m fucking blind. I thought you were straight until a few weeks ago!”

Eddie moved to lean against the island, closer to Richie. “You dumbass, I tried so hard the night I came out to you, why do you think I told you about what fucking underwear I wear?”

“I don’t know man, I’m not good at this shit.”

“Clearly!”

Richie cast his eyes down. “S-so, so you really like me?”

Eddie reached for his hand and interlaced their fingers. He pulled Richie closer to him, so he was pinned between Richie and the island. “I love you, dickwad.”

Richie huffed out a laugh. “I love you too.” He blinked rapidly, looking up towards the light. “Oh god, why am I crying.”

“Get over here you big baby.” Eddie detangled his fingers from Richie’s and brought his hand up to the other man’s cheek, bringing him in for a kiss. It was sweet, it was chaste, it was everything Richie wanted from Eddie when they were younger.

But he wasn’t a teenager, and he wanted more.

He dove forward, tongue clashing with Eddie’s. It was hot, it was toe curling good. He snaked his other hand down Eddie’s side, curling around his hip and moving to squeeze his ass. Eddie groaned and ground himself into Richie’s thigh.

“Fuck.” Richie said pulling away. “Fuck, how are you so hot? We’re fucking forty man.”

“Me? Dude, look at you. Your arms… your chest…” Eddie snaked his hand under Richie’s shirt, scratching at the smattering of hair on his pecs.

“Jesus man, I’m not gonna last… fuck… bedroom?”

“Bedroom.”

*~*~*~*~*

The two men finally emerged from Richie’s bedroom for dinner later on with kiss bruised lips and satisfaction plastered on their faces.

“Anything good on?” Eddie asked as Richie turned on the TV. “Rich?”

Richie laughed. “You better come see this.”

“QUARANTINE LIFTED” The headline read as news anchors happily recounted the fall in new cases, and the rise in recoveries.

“You’re fucking joking.”

[laf-outloud]

#“not happening yet” #I believe that's the key takeaway #no matter how much Jared is trying to convince himself and others it will happen

This. He talks about how Sam isn't really gone and it won't be hard to slip back into him (like Jensen and his "putting the boots back on"). But when it gets to the reboot "it's not happening yet, but there will be, there will be". That still sounds like him just trying to put it out into the universe lol vs actual facts on a reboot. To me at least its like he's saying there is nothing currently going on, but he is optimistic that it will in the future. Whether that is optimism for the fans, for himself, or because he truly thinks it will happen - we can't know.

The way he talked about it with the reporter sounded very different than how he's shared with fans at CE cons. In previous cons, he made it sound like the reboot was further along than it was, here, it's still just a hope and a dream.

It makes me wonder if J2 got some bad news regarding the progress of the reboot, or if it was just Jared being more specific because it was a reporter asking and not fans. Either way, the longer it takes to get a reboot going, the less likely I think it will happen.

[citrinekay]

Modern setting. They have been together for a long time now but they haven't come out to the bureau. Holden wants to, but Bill is more reticent. It's not the right time, what if something happens to one of us, what if you don't like me anymore? Holden can't convince him but they love each other so that's more important. There's some company dance or gathering (or something) and Bill decides it's time and has the dj play one of Holden's fav songs and takes Holden's hand and they dance and kiss x

wah this is such a great prompt!!! Also, I’ve never done a modern setting with them before so this was fun! Hope you enjoy :) (and here’s the song I picked for them to dance to.)

“Do you think the tie is too much?” Holden asks, fiddling with the knot as he gazes critically at his reflection in the mirror. 

“It’s business casual, Holden.” Bill says, uttering a sigh as he leans back against the headboard of their bed. “Nobody else is going to be wearing a tie.”

Holden groans in frustration and yanks the tie from around his neck. 

Taking a drag of his cigarette, Bill suppresses the urge to not roll his eyes. He’s been dressed for fifteen minutes while Holden is still agonizing over what to wear to their department chief’s retirement party. They have this same conversation anytime they go anywhere together whether it’s dinner or the movies. Holden is wildly indecisive about unimportant things like which t-shirt to wear while being unimpeachably decided about a number of other things. 

“Just wear a polo.” Bill says, motioning to his own navy blue shirt. “It’ll be fine.”

Holden takes off his button up as he goes back to his closet to consult his choices. He drags his fingers across the row of shirts while he contemplates aloud, “I wonder if Wendy is bringing Kay.”

Bill draws in a deep breath as he dusts some non existent lint from his pant leg. There’s a pointed note in Holden’s voice, a question underlying the innocent pondering. A question they’ve been over only about ten times in the past week. Once Holden gets an idea in his head, it’s difficult for him to let go. 

“Probably.” Bill says, “Everyone got a plus one.”

“Including us.” Holden mutters, toying with the sleeve of a black knit sweater. 

Bill smashes his spent cigarette in the tray on the nightstand. “Are we really going to have this argument right now? While we’re trying to get ready to go? You’re gonna make us late.”

“Yeah, then everyone would notice that we’re arriving together.” Holden says, turning around to cast him an unperturbed glare. 

Bill longs for the days when a gruff tone of voice was enough to smother Holden’s simpering. No longer. They’re in a relationship now, and Holden is unbothered by his frustration, well aware that his bark is worse than his bite. 

Not too long ago, he’d been a sergeant in the Army. Where had all his authority gone to? 

Bill swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands with a sigh. “Come on, let’s go. I’m not fighting with you about this right now.”

Holden’s petulant gaze follows him out of the room before cutting back to his closet. 

Ten minutes later he’s dressed in a gray pull-over sweater and black slacks. Bill motions him out the door, checking his watch with a flare of annoyance.  

Holden scrolls through his phone while Bill drives them to Quantico. Pushing aside his frustrations, Bill reaches a tentative hand across the space between them to touch his knee. Holden laces his fingers through Bill’s, but he doesn’t look up from his cell. 

Bill squeezes his fingers around the wheel. He feels like he should apologize for being short, but a flinching part of him hides fiercely behind prickly armor. He’s never outed himself to anyone. While Holden has been out and proud to most of their co-workers since the day they met, Bill has always kept his sexuality a secret. Even after a failed marriage to a woman, it’s difficult for him to look at Holden’s gay friends, a community of proud, loving individuals, without wondering if he’s some kind of fraud. He’d spent the first half of his life trying to live up to antiquated ideals set forth by his family, by the military, by the Bureau, and the idea of identifying to everyone around them that he’s just as gay as Holden and Wendy scares the hell out of him. 

But he can’t tell Holden that. He can’t say aloud that he’s scared more than anything else. The relationship is too new and fragile. What if they made their relationship public, and then realized how incompatible they really are? Bill’s cover would be blown forever, and for what? 

Bill glances across the car at Holden whose face is illuminated by the blue LED of his cellphone screen. For him. 

Holden looks up from his phone. “Wendy just posted on Instagram she’s bringing Kay.”

Bill clenches his jaw. Social media. Yet another affirmation by fire. 

“They’re adorable.” Holden observes, holding out the phone so that Bill can see the photo of Kay kissing Wendy’s cheek while Wendy gazes blissfully into the lens. 

“Yeah.” Bill says, averting his gaze back to the road. 

“You know,” Holden says, after a moment, “Wendy already knows. And probably so does half of the department.”

“What’s your point?” 

“My point is that nobody is judging us.” Holden says, “It’s 2019, Bill. People are getting more progressive, believe it or not. All it would really be is signing the consent form and-”

“I don’t want my relationship to be a matter of FBI record.” Bill says, “Is that too much to ask, Holden? That I don’t want to sign some paper saying we’re sleeping together?” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t see what the big deal is.” Holden says, “It’s just to avoid sexual harassment law suits. It’s just a precaution. It’s not some big declaration of your love for me.”

Silence settles on the car, and Bill disentangles his hand from Holden’s. His fingers are itching for a cigarette, but Holden complains every time he lights up in the car. 

“Okay.” Holden mutters, sounding wounded. “Maybe love was too strong of a word.”

“It isn’t, it’s just-” Bill says, the protest cutting off as his throat knots around the magnitude of honesty. 

Holden’s eyes are glazed blue in the flash of streetlamps speeding past them. His mouth purses softly as realization settles across his expression. For once, he shuts his mouth and turns his gaze back to his cellphone. 

When they reach Quantico, they walk across the crowded parking lot together. Bill checks his watch, noting that they’re five minutes late. 

The party is located in the dining hall where the fully stocked bar is already flowing with a variety of wines and cocktails. Bill makes a beeline for the whiskey while Holden immediately gets pulled into a lively conversation with some of their co-workers about the merits of psychology in horror films. 

Bill sips his whiskey in the corner while Holden mingles. He’s better at these shindigs than Bill, and it’s probably for the best that they mostly keep their distance tonight considering the conversation they just had. 

Bill swallows back his first drink and goes back to the bar for another. His stomach knots as he replays the discussion in his mind, every word marinating in the pit of fear opening up in the back of his mind. Watching Holden’s animated gesticulating from across the dining hall, he suddenly wonders whether or not he’s being ridiculous. Two other men in the discussion with Holden have their arms wrapped around each other. He wants to know what that feels like, holding onto Holden like he’s a prize deserving of being shown off rather than cowering in the corner for fear that someone might judge him. 

“Hey, Bill.” Wendy says, jolting him from his thoughts as she approaches. 

Kay is on her heels, fingers wrapped loosely around Wendy’s. 

“Hey.” Bill says, “How are you?”

“Good.” Wendy says, leaning in to give him a hug. “You look awfully lonesome standing over here by yourself.”

“They’re discussing horror films.” Bill says, motioning at Holden’s group of friends. “I’m not exactly up to par on the subject.”

Wendy chuckles, “Not a horror film junkie? I’m a little surprised.”

“I was in the Army.” Bill says, “I know what real horror looks like. The fake stuff is just … fake.”

Wendy nods, “I see. Still, I’m sure you would have something to contribute.”

Bill narrows his eyes. “You know I’m not a social butterfly, Wendy. Did Holden say something to you?”

Wendy cocks her head to one side curiously. “About what?”

“Never mind.” Bill says, cutting his glance away. 

Half an hour later, the catering service brings out dinner and bottles of champagne. The director makes a speech before wishing everyone a good night. Upbeat pop music thuds over the roar of conversation while the dinner plates are cleared away, and all the party attendees slouch over their cups. 

Bill leans back in his chair while Holden braces his elbows on the table, leaning into the conversation with other agents at their table. Bill watches the back of his head, the curve of his spine, his mouth smiling wildly as the alcohol is quick to get him tipsy. 

Something warm and humming wraps itself around his ribs, smothering whatever withering fear he’d carried into this evening. Maybe it’s the whiskey or the champagne. Maybe it’s the candlelight, and Holden’s hair gleaming like bronze in the low, yellow light. Maybe it’s his joy and radiance, everything about him that had drawn Bill in like a moth to the flame, forcing him to lay down his insecurities at the threshold of their relationship and plunge ahead with nothing but each other to hold onto. Now all that’s standing in the way is Bill’s stubbornness of a piece of goddamn paper. A signature, a declaration - because truly, that’s what it is. 

Across the table, one of the other agents, Jared,  is vividly recounting him and his boyfriend’s weekend escapade at the gay strip club. Holden doubles over the table in laughter as the story gets more and more wild, perhaps embellished a bit. 

“You should come with us next time.” Jared says, “I know you would be a lot of fun.”

“Ah, I don’t know.” Holden says, running anxious fingers through his hair. “I don’t think my boyfriend would like it.”

Bill shifts uncomfortably in his chair, wondering if the rest of the group can see his face getting unbearably hot.

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” Jared says. 

“Yeah, um, it’s kind of new.” Holden says, his tone dwindling. “It’s not like … official or whatever.”

 Jared raises his eyebrows. “But he’s already telling you what to do.”

“What, no.” Holden says, sharply. “I’m just being respectful of boundaries.”

“Okay, sure.” Jared says, shrugging. “But you should really come with one of these days. It’s a helluva lot more fun than this party.”

Bill clears his throat. “I’m going to step outside for a cigarette.”

Holden’s gaze cuts sharply over his shoulder, eyes speaking a number of racing questions even as his mouth purses anxiously. 

Bill shoves his chair back, and escapes the stifled atmosphere of the party. Outside, the bassline of the music thuds a distant vibration while the blue sky lapses into melted purples and pinks of sunset. 

Sliding a cigarette to the corner of his mouth, Bill lights up and draws in a deep breath. Nicotine floods his strung-out veins while Holden’s voice echoes in his mind. It’s not official. Well, that makes it sound like some kind of quick and dirty hookup. Bill flinches at the thought. 

He takes his time smoking his cigarette, thinking and vacillating, shivering and pushing aside his fears. 

He has a lot to lose. His pride, for one. His standing as a military veteran. His position as a father trying to co-parent with his ex-wife. His own self-identity. It’s all at stake while Holden, already out to the world, has nothing to lose. 

The only thing they both stand to lose is each other.  The thought strikes him as if it had dropped out of the clear blue sky. 

Dropping his cigarette to the ground, Bill turns and marches back into the dining hall. 

The music has quieted down as couples migrate to the open floor at the middle to slow dance in muted, half-drunk intimacy. Piano notes tinkle across the speakers just before the Penguins begin to croon “Earth Angel.” 

Bill scans the room for Holden, quickly picking him out of the crowd. He shoulders his way past clusters of agents and department heads, muttering apologies in his haste. As he approaches, Holden glances up from his conversation, and their eyes meet from across the room. 

Holden’s wide blue eyes regard him with a faint frustration that quickly melts into hopeful longing when he sees the look on Bill’s face. His mouth slips partially open, tongue running anxiously across his lower lip. 

Bill jolts back into motion. Closing the few yards of distance between them, he shoulders his way into the circle of Holden’s friends. 

“Excuse me.” He mutters, ignoring Jared’s glare of disbelief as he grabs Holden’s hand.

“Bill-” Holden begins, his tone colored with surprise. 

“Can I have this dance?” Bill asks, nodding at the floor where half a dozen other couples are wrapped in warm embraces. 

Holden blinks in shock for a moment before a smile creeps at the corner of his mouth, quickly evolving into a excited grin. 

“Yes.” He says, fingers wrapping around Bill’s. “Yes, you can.”

Grasping tightly on Holden’s hand, Bill leads them away from the group, all of whom are standing still with their mouths open in growing disbelief. As they reach the dance floor, Bill hears one of them break the silence with a shout of encouragement. 

“Are you sure about this?” Holden asks as Bill pulls him around against his chest. 

“No.” Bill says, reaching down to grab Holden’s hand, and bring it up into position. 

“I don’t know how to dance. Do you?”

“It’s slow dancing.” Bill says, tightening his palm against Holden’s lower back. “Here, just lean against me and sway. That’s all there is to it.”

“That’s all there is to it?” Holden echoes, his mouth tipping with mild amusement. 

“Hey, you can gloat later.” Bill says, “Just let me have this.”

“Okay.” Holden says, leaning in closer. 

He nudges his nose hesitantly against Bill’s, asking for yet another boundary to be crossed. 

Ignoring the stares of people around them, Bill leans in to place a chaste kiss against Holden’s questing mouth. 

Holden closes his eyes, humming a sigh of relief. 

Bill chuckles a small, choked laugh. He buries his face in Holden’s neck, hiding the sting of tears in his eyes. Holden’s body leans into him, so close that he can feel the beats of their hearts connecting. The music swells over the speakers: Earth angel, earth angel. I’m just a fool in love. In this moment, Bill doesn’t care whether he looks like a fool or not - to himself, to their co-workers, hell even their bosses. Maybe he’ll wake up tomorrow still afraid of what signing some silly relationship disclosure form means, but for tonight, this dance is declaration enough.

[youralternantpersonality]

Except For You

Embry x reader: Except for You

Warning: Death, Emotional support and control, CPS/fostering/adoption/homes.

***

Y/n was an easy-going kid growing up, full of life, happiness, and all things of that. It wasn’t until the tragic accident happened that landed you in foster care. CPS searched high and low for a family member to take you in. But to no avail, you were still in the system from the soft ages of five to 15.5 years (to be exact). It wasn’t the easiest, nicest, and not the most pleasant, but you survived and that’s all that mattered. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

You were taken in by your great aunt when you were eight, but by then, the damages had been done. You were distant, hesitant, and deemed as an “aggressive” child. The only life form you ever let get close to you was the dog of the house, Manny. As soon as you entered the household, Manny was your comforter, protector, and your emotional and mental support. Your great aunt and uncle realized this and let it be. It wasn’t until another accident occurred that resulted in Manny’s death did you end up in a group home. The pain was too much, and because you weren’t properly taught how to express your emotions healthily, it resulted in a few tossed dishes, runaways, holes in the wall, and nights of screams and cries that could be heard for miles. Ever since, at the tender age of nine (at this point), you wouldn’t allow any form of being near you. The thought of going through that pain again only would hurt 20x more than the time you lost your family and Manny. And that wasn’t worth it.

That is until you were fostered by a couple who wanted to adopt you in the small town of La Push. You had met your foster mom, Emily, at the group home she volunteered at and for once grew attached to someone. It took a while, but something about Emily gave you a sense of home. She reminded you of your mother. Or what little you had of her. All you had of your family was pictures and trinkets you hid from the other kids, so they don’t mess with it.

You and Emily grew close. So close that Emily had to stop volunteering at the group home. Regret consumed you until you had a potential parental meeting to be adopted. When you walked into the room, the first person you saw was your caseworker, Lilly (the bitch), and then you saw her…Emily. You ran to her as fast as you could, hugged her with all your strength, and cried.

“What are you doing here?” You cried into her shoulder.

“I’m here to take you home Y/n/n.” you looked at her confused. She smiled and continued,

“That’s why I stopped volunteering. It would have been a conflict of interest and unethical to continue to work here and then adopt you, sweetie. So, I talked to Jessica and Leo,” the group homeowners, “and they said I would have to stop for a given month, place in an application, allow CPS to check if we’re acceptable to be able to be a contender. But Jess and Leo somehow convinced them to speed up the year process to five months. I’m so sorry Hun, I didn’t mean to be away for this long.” She said with tears forming in her eyes.

“You want me?” I said in disbelief. She smiled and looked up at a man I didn’t realize who was there. Big ass dude who looked to be “6’4”, broad shoulders, buff, and looks like he could intimidate and scare off anyone in his path. He grinned down at Emily and looked towards me. He held out his hand and introduced himself.

“I’m Sam, Emily’s husband. She has told me nothing but great things about you Y/n.” I hesitantly but confidently shook his hand and from then forward, I was accepted into their close little family. And to be honest, I wasn’t that was surprised at how easily I had grown attached to the two.

Six months later

I was in the garden with Emily fixing the flower beds when I heard the guys come from the forest. Emily and I looked at each other and went inside to clean up real fast and prepare for their ultimate feast. The guys had been training for some vampiric war due to this incompetent girl who can’t get herself out of trouble.

It was on accident really, how I found out what Sam and the guys are. Two things happened, one, Embry imprinted on me, and two, I was there that uneventful day, the first day I met Bella, where her dumbass punched Paul. Not only did I see Paul, but I also saw Jake transform.

Living with Sam and Emily for a month and a half

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” I yell at a distance, Embry, my imprint before I knew what it was, Quil, and Jered all turned to look at me.

“Fuck.” Sam said, he turned to look at me, but I took off. I didn’t know where I was running, but I ran. I wanted to go home, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know if Emily or Leah did the same thing. So, I just ran, ran until I got to First beach. I fell to the sand to catch my breath and just looked out into the ocean. I felt someone sit next to me, without even looking, I knew who it was. The second and last person I’ll let come as close as they were to me; the only other male to be within proximity of me. Enough to where our shoulders touched.

Embry. The cute and idiotic boy I took to instantly the second we met. I never understood or knew what it was about him, but whatever it was, I tried to fight it at first, but it hurt more than I thought it would. Emily said to just let it happen, let yourself feel, and not resist. It was hard, but after some time, he somehow looked like it affected him more than me, which worried and hurt me. Without a second thought, I accepted and allow myself to the possibility of gaining a closer friend. And since, he has been one of the closest people I have ever taken to. More so than Emily, and that says a lot. I broke the silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” I said without looking at him.

“I figured you’d want to get adapted to living here before you found out that our legends are true Olives.” I roll my eyes at the nickname he gave me as soon as he found out that I despise Olives. I looked at him and looked down as our knees were leaning on one another.

“You still could have said something…I don’t know. Anything. You know I hate secrets, especially coming from you Cilantro.” He wrapped his arm around me, and I easily gave into him. It used to bother me how easily I took to him being close to me, but now, I don’t fight it.

“I know, and I’m sorry. No more secrets, I promise. Unless I have to protect you, but I promise, I will try to keep you out of that situation Olives.” I looked up at him, I couldn’t look away even if I tried. His big soft brown eyes carried the light from the sun as if it was a sea with quiet waves. A whirlpool of honey mixed with chocolate. The boy had a grasp on me, but I wouldn’t break what we have for some weird crush. But apparently, he would because without a second thought, he leaned in and I felt two warm lips against mine. I did nothing at first, but when he pulled away, I leaned in and caught his lips to mine again to show him how I felt back. After that, we leaned our foreheads against each other and smiled. Thus, resulting in him to tell me about imprinting. Now, that, I understood why he held back from telling me. Thinking back on it, the ways the pack responded to us, it made sense.

“Awe, look at the married couple.” -Jared, when we were eating.

“You guys want us to leave while you have your privacy, or are we welcomed into the conversation?” -Brady, when we were hanging out at the beach.

“Get a room!”- Paul, when we were doing nothing but making stupid faces at each other.

Everyone knew I hated being touched or having someone too close to me, except for Emily. So, when I allowed Embry to do so, that brought on more teasing. And it wasn’t big stuff like wrapping an arm around me. It was small things.

When he’d sit next to me at the table, he would be close enough for me to cross my legs and rest my foot behind his calf, yet far enough so no one would be able to notice.

Sometimes Emily and I would be sitting at the table when the guys come in. He would purposefully be last so that when he came behind me, he would glide his finger softly at my exposed skin. At one point, he didn’t care, and Emily saw him do it then saw my reaction. She was happy to see my reaction but said nothing to me.

When Emily and I are cleaning the kitchen from cooking and the guys come in to eat, he’d get the silverware and slightly brush his shoulder to mine. Then bump me with it and head back to the table. I would do nothing but smile, which caught Paul’s attention, who then pointed it out. Asshole.

After that, Embry said, “fuck it!” and just found a way to get close to me. I didn’t mind. But it was moments like these, on the sand, with his arm wrapped around me that no one saw. It was something that wasn’t worth showing. Something that I was not comfortable showing. The slight touches, I’m ok. But PDA, I can’t do. Thankfully he understands this.

Present Day

Just as the boys were entering, Emily and I just took the food out. Like normal, the boys set the table and for some reason, Embry came up to me first, kissed my cheek, grabbed the plates, and went to the table. I was shocked, but I wasn’t mad. No one saw it, so that put me at ease.

After eating and relaxing, Embry and I went to his place to just watch a movie. It was times like these did he love the most. Why? Because I was always attached to him. With Embry, I can get lost in time and can easily feel physically deprived from. So, when we are behind closed doors, I basically turn into a big baby. Another thing that has scared me. But I am learning.

With Embry, I am learning a lot about myself. My boundaries, comfort zones, and what I want. With Emily and Sam alone, I learned what I want, Manny proved that to me too. With my great aunt and uncle, I learned what I didn’t want. At the group home, I was taught how to survive. With all these lessons, I learned a great deal about myself. And all of it came into play meeting up to the love of my life. And every day, I am grateful.

Masterlist

[jawritter]

Matchmaker....

Request: My request was a Jensen x reader one shot. they meet thanks to Rob, they became friends but Jay is shy to ask her out and Rob has to kind of convince him to do it. when he does, reader freak out (bc her bad past)and call Rob for advices and he tell it's time for her to take a chance to be happy. They go on a date and became the super cute couple, and Rob loves to tell their story at conventions to everyone and comments under their posts things like: you are welcome. Thank you

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader, Rob B x Reader (friends)

Warnings: None really, fluff, angst, maybe some light language.

Word Count: 1354

A/N: Flashbacks are Italicized. Please don’t copy my work. All mistakes are mine! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one!

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

"I don't know if this is such a great Idea Rob." You grumbled as you followed your best friend through the crowded sports bar in the middle of downtown Memphis, Tn.

You were all here this weekend for a convention, and you didn't know if it was a good Idea to be coming with Rob to meet one of his castmates for dinner and drinks tonight. 

You weren't part of the SPN cast, and you weren't part of the crew. So you really felt out of place doing this. Sure you and Rob had been friends since you lived in LA across the hall from each other in shit whole apartments all those years ago, but you weren't famous by any means, and you didn't know if his famous friends would appreciate you tagging alone with them to dinner.

You were only a photographer, trying to get a job at one of the bigger publishing companies in LA.

"Oh It will be fine!" Rob assured you as the two of you slid into the very back booth across from each other, and the waitress hands you both a menu.

"What can I get the two of you tonight?" She asked as he pulled out her pad and pin to take your orders. 

"Oh we're actually waiting on one more person." Rob said, but before he could get anything else out a voice boomed behind you, and your heart literally landed at your feet...

"Sorry I'm late, but I'll take whatever beer they are drinking sweetheart..." Jensen said, as he slid into the booth next to Rob, smiling at you a moment before turning his attention back to the weightress, who seemed pretty unfazed by her famous patriants..

Once your orders were placed and the weightress disappeared Rob turned to you with a smirk.

"Jensen this is y/n, a good friend of mine from LA I was telling you about yesterday, Y/n I'm sure you know Jensen.." Rob said, and Jensen smiled  kindly at you, making your heart jump into your throat...

"That's how I created the spn super couple that is Jensen Ackles and Y/n Y/L/N," Rob said over the microphone in front of him, the young girl that had asked the last question of how you and Jensen met each other giggled, and  looked around Jensen at Rob. Jensen staring at him with a smirk on his face...

"Well in all fairness Rob, you did introduce us, but I did all the hard work of actually getting y/n to go out with me.." Jensen said, teasing Rob as he leaned against the chair the fan was sitting in.

"Yeah, but don't let Jensen fool you guys, I had to talk him into asking her out in the first place.." Rob said, giving Jensen a look that made the whole giggle."Someone was too shy to ask y/n out even though they had been friends since I introduced them!" Rob said, leering at Jensen jokingly.

Rob wasn't wrong, and Jensen knew it, he'd been too shy to ask y/n out even though he'd been head over heels for her from the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

What Rob wasn't telling though you were thankful for, and that's what made him your best friend, because no matter how much he liked to brag about getting you two together, and no matter how much Jensen like to rile him up by saying it was all his handy work, you and Rob knew the truth, and the truth was that when Jensen finally did ask you out, you freaked right out, lied about having to go meet someone. running home to call Rob, and cry to the only one that knew the truth about how your last relationship ended.

Your ex had been controlling, and mentally abusive, and you hadn't had the guts to date anyone since you finally got the courage you needed to call things off with your ex, and you hadn't had the guts to try dating again. You were convinced that Rob was the only guy you could trust at that point, and even though you liked Jensen...A lot... You were fighting against demons from your past, and you didn't know if you could go through with it.

"Jensen's a great guy y/n, it took a lot of convincing for me to even get him to ask you out! Call that man and tell him you will go to dinner with him! He's probably freaking out in his trailer right now!" Rob scolded you, and you flinched a little at your own childish behavior.

"Rob... What if he's just like my ex, what if I get into another relationship, and this time it's worse, what if..." 

"Y/N STOP! You and Jensen have been close since I dragged you out of your hotel room and into that sports bar to meet him. I did it because you guys would be perfect for each other, Jensen doesn't come without his share of scars as well... Just give him a chance, I promise you if you let him slip away from you, you will forever regret it... Let him fix what that douche bag did to you." Rob said, being the voice of reason you so desperately needed.

Your mind filtered back to the hurt, and confused look on the man that had become your friend when you just abruptly left after he asked you to go out to dinner with him tomorrow night. Your eyes flickered to your keys, and you took a deep breath. 

You needed to go talk to him. 

You couldn't let fear rule you, and Rob was right, you had it just as bad for Jensen as Rob said he had it for you, and if you let this chance with him slip away you'd spend the rest of your life regretting it and wondering what could have been if only you had just given Jensen a chance...

"Okay fine, I'm going to go talk to him, they should still be there doing that photo shoot for Entertainment Weekly... I need to do this in person... I'm scared I hurt his feelings when I just left, and I owe him more than that, I can't keep living in fear of what happened to me years ago, and Jensen is an amazing guy, he deserves to at least get a day, what could one date hurt right?" You said to Rob as you grabbed your keys and bag..

"Atta girl!"  Rob beamed over the phone....

That was three years ago, and you and Rob had kept your conversation a secret, even though Jensen did now know about your ex boyfriend and what he'd done to you, ever since you stepped into that sports bar with Rob and met Jensen you were a goner. 

The first date turned into weekly date nights, long conversation on the phone, spending the weekend at one another's place. Long slow kisses, turned into nights of deep passion that you thought only existed in movies... You had fallen in love with him quickly, and you did have Rob to thank for that... 

Strong arms wrapped around your middle and pulled you tight into their hold as Jensen's cologne surrounded you, you had been so wrapped up in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed they had exited the stage..

"Hey you." Jensen said, kissing your forehead as you leaned back against his solid chest...

"Hey you." 

"Oh aren't you two just disgusting!" Jared said, grabbing your attention as he snapped a picture. 

"AWW That's a cute one!!" Bri squealed looking at Jared's phone, as Jared posted it to twitter and tagged you and Jensen in it. Fan's already commenting on and gushing over the picture.

Rob's comment digged as soon as you got into the back of Clif's car and headed toward the hotel room for the night.. The one comment  that made Jensen giggle over your shoulder... 

"Your Welcome..." 

"We owe him a lot you know..." You tell him, leaning down on his shoulder. His arm wrapping around your shoulders...

"Yeah we do..” Jensen sat silently for a moment before laughing to himself.

“Would It be too big of an ass hole move to start calling him the matchmaker..." 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: 

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​

[rebelminxy]

Now or Never-Chapter 2

Word Count: 3167

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Biting, Oral (Female Receiving), Self Pleasuring (Male)

Square Filled: Biting

A/N: In this story, Jared and Gen are divorced. This is purely written for fictional use and is in no means to disrespect the Padalecki family. I send them my regards and admiration. This was written for @spnkinkbingo​

Series Masterlist

SPNKinkBingo

Chapter 2

Twelve Years Later

     Jared walked out of his trailer for the last time, reminiscing about the years he dedicated his life to the show Supernatural. He started this life-changing experience at the young age of 23, and now at 37, he felt almost complete, almost. 

     He walked over to the main stage building where cast and crew were waiting outside to give their final goodbyes. The final episode had aired the night before and the fandom was hijacking twitter with their comments on the ending and the tear-jerking moments throughout the final season. Jared had to silence his phone for the day from so many alerts from his social media. He smiled when he spotted Misha and Jensen, hugging them both once he reached them. The cast and crew were in an all-out hugging mood, many trying not to

"Wow, this is really it," Misha mumbled as he stood back to watch everyone be emotional with each other. 

"Yeah, sure doesn't feel like it though," Jared responded, clapping Jensen on the shoulder.

"Hey, we had a great run and we still have some conventions to do. So it ain't over yet," Jensen added.

"Dee and the kids coming up from Austin?" Jared asked.

"Nah, the contract on the apartment ends in a couple of days so I might as well head home. We still on for the family to get together in June, guys?" 

"Yeah, Vicky and the kids are excited to see everyone. Is your family joining us Jare?"

"Still haven't talked with Gen, but last time I mentioned it, she was down for it. Trouble is, Tom hasn't been on his best behavior and we are trying to figure out what is going on," Jared answered back, his gaze dropping down to his feet. "We think he’s acting out because of the divorce."

"Dude, you guys got divorced almost a year ago," Jensen responded with a bewildered look in his eyes.

"Vicky did say there would be a chance one of the kids would act out on this big change," Misha interjected. "It's a huge change especially for Tom because all he knows is his mom and dad being together."

     Jensen nodded slowly in agreement.

"Since the finale was so close to all this happening, Gen wanted me to focus on the show and once I got back to Austin, we can start taking Tom to therapy, see if he will open up with someone else."

"That's a great plan, Jare," Misha replied with a smile. "We do hope everything works out and Tom will enjoy the family get together."

"Plus, it's not every divorce that both parties end friendly. You and Gen have been great at handling the divorce," Jensen added as he clapped Jared back.

     Jared gave both of his best friends a weak smile, the worry of his eldest son at the front of his mind. He was glad to finally have the time to focus on his children, especially Tom. 

=====

     The plane ride back to Austin was Jared's moment of realization that this time of his life was over, and now with so many big changes hitting him one after the other, he knew he needed to go somewhere where he felt comfort and control. The moment he got to his apartment, he put his usual black suit on his king-size bed and undressed to take a quick shower, making sure he used the body wash she said was her favorite. Once he was done and dressed, he slicked his hair back with gel and tied it back into a ponytail. Not like it mattered since she never mentioned about how he looked. But it made him feel better, dressing up just for her. He double-checked himself in the hallway mirror before heading out, his regular Uber he arranged for earlier already waiting for him.

     Austin was a beautiful city and no one could convince Jared to move anywhere else. But. just like every other city in America, Austin had its places that were more known by word of mouth. Heaven of Sins was an exclusive swingers club, but they didn’t really enforce the ‘only couples’ rule. Jared had heard about the place from a friend before his divorce, causing him to laugh to know such a place existed in the city. But after his divorce and a few nights of crazy drinking, he decided to give the place a look. Of course, the place required a heavy background check and even a doctor’s visit to provide a clean health test whenever they asked for it. But there was one rule that if broken, the member wasn’t allowed entrance and blackmailed into silence about the place IF they tried to reveal what they knew. 

     Never reveal your true identity.

     It was for the safety of all members and the club itself since high profile people of Austin frequent the place. So everyone wore a mask that covered the entire top half of their faces. Of course, this didn’t help hide everyone, but those there respected each other. Better said, they didn’t want someone going to talk to the press about certain kinks and affairs. 

     The first time Jared went, he met a few girls that caught his eye. They would do things but never did he cross the line of full penetration, he was still fresh from a divorce. It was after two months attending that he saw her. That night she wore an off the shoulder, deep V-line cut dress in the shade of a dark purple that exposed her cleavage. The dress had a thigh-high slit on the side, exposing her leg and, what he found out later, soft skin. Black open-toed heels covered her feet, showing off her well-maintained pedicure. Her hair was in a loose beach wave mess, barely reaching her shoulders. A pair of diamond drop earrings were the only sign of jewelry on her. Her face had the typical mask every female in the club wore, but her piercing gaze at him was what got him to talk to her. Something about her eyes reminded him of a dream long ago.

     That night he took her to one of the private rooms and before he could even begin, he explained to her how he was willing to do anything else except penetration. 

“Do whatever you want with me, just know, kissing is off-limits,” she whispered to him, her eyes never leaving his.

     After he heard those words, Jared knew he wanted to see her and only her. And ever since, that’s how things went. After a week exploring each other's limits and kinks, Jared asked if she was willing to just be with him in the club and she agreed to the exclusivity. Jared then purchased two phones, giving one to her and clarifying that this was their way to know when to meet at the club. No other communication, just a text message of a date and time to meet up. And that is what Jared had done when he got off the plane earlier. 

     Arriving at the club, Jared put his mask on and climbed out the Uber, tipping the guy generously as always to keep his mouth shut. He flashed his member card at the bouncer at the entrance and walked in, greeting those that said hello to him with a nod, his goal waiting for him in their regular back room. He didn’t stop for a drink, knowing she was waiting for him with one. The moment he stood outside the door, his hand froze over the handle. He thought about all the changes that happened over the year, hitting from one side to another. He shook his head and opened the door, sliding all his troubles away to the back of his mind, because right now, his focus was on the one person he knew was a welcomed change in the past months. 

     He shut the door behind him and smiled, seeing her already in her chair in the nude except her heels. She sat straight in the chair, her hands flat on her thighs. Her head was held up high, her eyes looking at him. Of course, her mask was still on and they had talked about maybe blindfolding her eyes, but Jared didn’t want that. He wanted to see her eyes at all times. 

“You’re late,” she said to him with a cocky smile.”

“Sorry, just got back into town when I texted you,” responded Jared as he walked over to the nightstand, his whiskey waiting beside her glass of red wine.

“Oh, work travels?”

     Jared responded with a hum as he took a sip of his drink, taking his and her wine with him back to stand in front of her. He looked down at her, only her eyes moving to look up at him. He tipped his head back as he swallowed the rest of the whiskey, his mind thinking on what to do tonight.

“I know you said you don’t have long,” Jared began.

“Family matters,” she stated matter of factly.

     Jared hummed back, looking at her and then her wine. He thought about something he always wanted to try but Gen was never into the idea. But he knew the woman before him would be ok with it. He smiled at her and swirled the wine in the glass, walking slowly towards her.

“How many glasses of wine did you have tonight?”

“That would be glass number three.”

“Oh, and didn’t we have a rule about only one glass before we meet?”

     She looked down the red tint of a flush peeking under the mask that he could see.

“Family matters had me a bit stressed, and waiting for you got me impatient.”

“Well, we need to rectify this matter.”

     Without warning, Jared tilted the glass to spill its contents down her chest. Her breasts and stomach were wet from the wine, a hint of red coloring her skin. He could see the trail of liquid slide down to her clean, shaved pussy, making him want to move forward with his plan. 

“Well, I would say that was a waste of good wine, but I doubt it really is now,” she giggled as she watched Jared kneel before her, prying her legs apart so he could get closer. 

     He placed a kiss on one cheek and then on the other, kissing each until he trailed down her jawline down to her throat. He quickly bit into the skin that covered the crook of her neck, causing her to moan and tilt her head to the side to give him more access. He loved how willing she was with him, how much he enjoyed her moans and cries of pleasure, knowing he caused them. He moved his head from where he was biting her, admiring the red skin and the visible teeth marks. He moved back to nibbling her delicious skin down her shoulder from the mark. As he dropped lower he heard her whisper.

“That’s the only visible mark allowed. I have something important tomorrow and can’t go in with multiple visible marks.”

“What are you wearing tomorrow?” Jared asked as he trailed the path of kisses and nibbles to the top of her breasts, which were rising high from her heavy breathing.

“Suit with a knee-high skirt,” she responded with a huff as his tongue trailed down to one of her nipples, his hand reaching out to grope her other breast.

“Good,” he whispered as he licked her nipple, tasting the wine he spilled. “That means I can mark up everywhere else, making sure you remember in the morning who you belong to.” 

     He suckled on her nipples, making her groan out, her body arching in reaction. Her hands wrapped around him, pulling his ponytail free and raking her nails against his scalp. 

“I want you to look at yourself in the mirror, see each mark and know I’m the one that makes you wet,” he groaned as he switched breasts, lapping up the taste of wine with the taste of her skin. “I’m the one that makes you scream here, the one that brings you pleasure.”

“Yes,” she hissed back, her legs wrapping around him.

     Jared licked every inch of her chest, leaving red bite marks behind. His mouth trailed down her stomach as his hands wrapped around her thighs. He gripped her thighs and pushed them wider, his tongue licking up the remnants of the wine. He could feel her shiver as he neared his goal. His tongue circled the inside of her belly button before he leaned back and admired how much her body was shaking in pleasure. 

     Slowly, he moved his face only inches away from her pussy, his hands gripping her thighs tightly so they won’t move. He blew a soft breath over her lips, making her quiver. He then slid the tip of his tongue along her slit, tasting a bit of her juices that were seeping free. 

“You love it when I eat you out, don’t you,” Jared said with a hushed, sensual tone.

“Yes,” she hissed again, her body quivering with need.

     Jared smiled at what he was capable of doing to this woman. Every time they would meet, it would end with her lying on the bed, lost in ecstasy. And tonight would be no different.

     Jared leaned forward, his tongue swiping up and down her slit, teasing as he let her thighs go, using his elbows to keep her legs apart. With his fingers, he pried her pussy open, his tongue now swiping her insides, her delicious juices covering his tongue. He could hear her groans, her body lifting from the chair that she was now gripping. He focused his attention to her clit, teasing the small bud as her body shook above him. His eyes traveled up to see her face, how her eyes seemed to roll into the back of her head as her mouth made an O as she moaned. He continued his torture, pulling back when he felt she was close to coming. 

     Eventually, he stuck a finger inside her, pulling it out slowly as he teased her clit. Another finger joined and eventually a third. He loved how much he could stretch her with his fingers, sometimes wondering if she would ever be able to handle his length. With his free hand, he unbuckled his pants and unzipped them, reaching in to pull out his cock. He stroked himself, imagining his fingers was his cock inside her. He imagined how it would feel to fuck her into the bed, making her scream louder than he already was, making her beg for more. As he stroked himself, he could feel how close she was, his need right behind. 

     Jared quicken his pace, his tongue flicking against her clit faster than earlier. He finger fucked her pussy, her juices bathing his chin as he pumped himself in his hand. He groaned against her as her legs wrapped around his head, gripping him tightly against her pussy, barely breathing. He felt a hand grip the top of his head as her body arched, the telltale sign that she was close. He pumped himself faster, picturing what she must look like with him fucking her from behind on all four. He could just imagine it, his name coming off her lips as he would pull her flushed body against his as he continued to fuck her.

     He heard her scream out, her grip on his head tight as her body convulsed as she came. He kept licking her as her juices flooded all over his mouth and fingers, his hand wrapped around his cock pumping faster. Her legs were gripping his head tightly as he wound her up, not stopping his actions. After a few more pumps, he groaned into her pussy as ropes of white cum spurt out and covered the wooden floor. His body jerked as he rode out his high, enjoying the feeling of her hands caressing his head. She finally let his head go, her legs dropping like jello. He looked up at her and smiled as he saw how dark her eyes were, how dazed she looked. 

     She leaned forward, her arms thrown over his shoulders and she licked his face, tasting her own juices all on his face. He was tempted to pull her into a kiss but reminded himself of her one rule. Pulling away from him, she got up and wobbled her way to bed right behind the chair. She landed with an ‘oomph’ onto the bed face first. Jared chuckled at her, heading over to wrap her with the sheet at the edge of the bed. He did admire his handiwork of bruises all over her chest and stomach, hoping she won’t mind the biting in the morning.

“You get some rest,” he whispered as he grabbed a pillow to place near her face.

“Make sure someone comes to wake me up in 30 minutes,” she mumbled.

“I will let Casey know,” he responded back.

     Before Jared could even make another move, she grabbed his arm, pulled back his sleeve and bit hard on the inside of his arm almost close to his wrist. Jared laughed once she let go, seeing how red his skin had turned.

“That’s a little reminder of what you did to me,” she groaned at him before falling asleep. Ever since then, she would always take a nap after their sessions, Jared trusting one of the waitresses to wake her up if he ever had to leave first.

      Jared sat there and watched her, enjoying the scene of her sleeping so peacefully. At first, no matter how tired she was, she would never stay. The fear of being vulnerable around a man she didn’t even know kept her on alert. But one night she accidentally knocked out and Jared stayed by her side until she woke up. Not once did he peek under her mask, showing her she could trust him at least in that. Ever since then, she would always take a nap after their sessions, Jared trusting one of the waitresses to wake her up if he ever had to leave first.

     So that's what he did after leaving the room. He called over the regular waitress and tipped her a good bit of cash to wake his friend up at the allotted time and left the club content. His Uber was waiting for him at the same spot and the ride home was silent. Once he arrived at his apartment, he got naked and jumped into the shower. After that, he dried off and changed into his pajama pants, laying in bed and turning the light out to sleep. But sleep never came, the things he had to deal with a couple of hours looming in his mind. Plus, his bed felt so cold, so empty, just like how he felt inside. One thought went through his mind before he closed his eyes to attempt to sleep.

What if she never got on that plane, to begin with?

[justanotherdeadgirlwalking]

That is Just the Saddest F**king Thing I Have Ever Heard.

TW obviously DEH is about a kid’s suicide, so it has those themes

other parts :)

Part One.

Cynthia said I had to go to school today. “It’s your senior year Connor,” she said, “you can’t miss the first day,” which was just complete bullshit. I tried to compromise, “I’ll go tomorrow,” I told her. No, I had to go. Mom just wanted to get me out of the house after watching me sleep and sit in my room all summer. “Today’s a chance to go make some friends” she told me.

Look it’s not my fault that I don’t have any fucking friends, and it’s not my fault that I can’t make friends because everyone thinks of me as big, bad Connor Murphy, the freak. I’m not a freak. People just have this false idea of me in their head and have never taken the time to actually get to know me. I’ve always been a hot topic of rumors, even though I’ve never done anything really worth talking about. Except the incident in second grade. Someone explain to me why something so stupid that happened when I was 8 years old is something people still use to talk shit about me. It is still a story that gets told from time to time, “oh stay away from Connor Murphy, he’s batshit crazy. He once threw a printer at Mrs. G. because he didn’t get to be line leader” That’s not the whole story. No one knows what really happened because they weren’t even there. I mean, yes I was upset that I didn’t get to be line leader, even though it was my turn, and yes I did shove the table that the printer was on, which caused it to fall. So, I mean, I guess I threw the printer in a sense, but what does it matter? I was a child. Do you know how much embarrassing shit people did in elementary school that doesn’t get talked about because, well geez, they were children, and they’ve grown since then. Fucking Alana Beck peed her pants probably seven times that year, but we don’t talk about that. Whatever.

Most likely, no one is going to be telling that story this year. There’s some new hot gossip about me. See, I spent my junior year at a private school. It was awesome, I actually had a friend, and I was doing well, but I got kicked out. They did random locker searches, and I had weed in my locker, barley half a gram. The best part is, the weed wasn’t even mine. Not that anyone cares, not that anyone is going to ask, or listen to my side of the story. Ironically, they found so much Adderall, in probably 50 lockers, and they got away without so much as a warning. So, pills are okay, I guess, but marijuana isn’t.

Look, unlike what my parents might think, it isn’t dangerous or addicting or bad. Newsflash weed doesn’t hurt anyone. You can’t die from being too high, but pills, you can die from taking too many pills. I told them that too, I showed them statistics and research to convince them marijuana isn’t bad, they sent me to rehab to help with my ‘addiction,’ but all it did was teach me new, worse habits and prescriptions for mood stabilizers.

I’ve always been on medications to try to help me with the depression and paranoia, but I don’t like how they make me feel. Usually, I keep the pills hidden so Mom and Dad don’t catch on that I’m not taking them. I just prefer weed anyways; weed just calms me down, while the other crap I’ve been prescribed puts in a zombie like daze. I just smoke a little weed every now and then to help me get through the day.

People are going to say whatever they want, but I guess that it doesn’t help that I smell like pot anyways. That smell, no matter how many times you wash your clothes or spray your belongings with ferbreeze, never goes away. Regardless, I know I’m not the only stoner, not that I’m a stoner, but most people act like it’s a fucking personality trait to smoke. They’ll go online and post pictures of their bowls and blunts, thinking that they’re cool, but I’m a burnout freak because I smoke.

Despite my protests, I found myself in the passenger seat of Zoe’s car as she drove me to school. Some people might think it’s lame to be driven around by their little sister, but I fucking hate driving. I get too distracted, plus, other people drive like absolute nimrods. I got enough stress in my life, why add the stress of driving.

The first day of school is always a waste; you never do anything meaningful or important. People just spend the day catching up with friends, talking obnoxiously loud about their trip to Italy, or how they built houses for the homeless, and you just do ridiculous ice breakers and make nametags. It’s not like I’m going to learn anything, I’m just going to sit through hours of “two truths and a lie.” Plus, I’ll have to sit through the embarrassment of no one volunteering to guess which of my statements is the lie. No one wants to waste their time with that. Though, I will admit, I came up with some good ones this year, “My birthday is 420, I like to draw, and I have a dog.” The lie, obviously, is that I have a dog. I’ve always wanted one, but Larry has always said no, “they’re too messy.”

I try not to let other people bother me. I just focus my gaze straight ahead, walking as quick as I can to my first class, avoiding obstacles the best I can. In my opinion, people that stand in the middle of the hallway to have their conversation do not deserve rights. Hi, you, and your conversation is not more important than me trying to get to class. Have some fucking decency and at least move over to the side, Jesus Christ. On the bright side, people do tend to move out of my way. It might be out of fear, but it’s convenient. I put my head down as I cut through the middle of two people. “Hey Connor”  a boy calls, “Nice hair length,” he continues, “very ‘school-shooter’ chic.” Wow, was that really necessary; did they really have to stop me to tell me that? That’s what I need too: Connor Murphy, not only a freak, but also looks like a school shooter.

I stop in my tracks with a heavy thud as my boots hit the ground. I whip around to face the voice. I look up with a narrow gaze and see Jared Kleinman and Evan Hansen. They are two nobodies like me, but I guess they think they’re better than me.

“I was just kidding” Jared stutters, “It was a joke.”

“Oh, I know.” I say, with no emotion, “I thought it was funny, I’m laughing can’t you tell?” I close the space between us until I’m in his face, towering over him. I’m not a scary person, but I am 6’3”, so my height tends to intimidate people, plus I really like wearing all black. My physical appearance is really a shell of armor, no one knows how sensitive I really am. At least, people can’t walk all over me if they are scared of me. I stare him down, “Or am I not laughing hard enough for you” I say.

I found, that if you stare at someone long enough, they will leave you alone. Mostly, because they are creeped out. It must be working, because Jared takes a step back, “you’re such a freak,” he says as he turns to make a run for it.

Evan’s still standing there, laughing quietly to himself. “What the fuck are you laughing at” I snap at him.

“N-nothing” he stutters.

I turn to him, “do you think I’m a freak.” He’s still laughing to himself. “You’re the fucking freak,” I yell as shove him.

I pause for a moment, looking down at Evan, who is now on the ground. He looks scared, like really, scared. Does he think I’m going to beat him up? Has he been beaten up before? Who hurt him? I scan his body quickly; this kid is already in a cast. Great, I just pushed an injured kid. Maybe I really am a freak. What the fuck is wrong with me? I collect myself and quickly walk away. I don’t have time to deal with this. It’ll probably be a few hours before this goes around the school.

I make it to my locker, my eyes are still on Evan, who is still on the ground. He’s been on the ground for a while, surly he should’ve stood up by now. Fuck, did I break his legs? Zoe walks up to him and helps him up. He’s fine. I watch as Zoe talks to him for a few minutes. Even my own sister isn’t on my side. Thanks Zoe, I’ll remember that the next time you want me to cover for you when you sneak out. Mom and Dad might think I’m the fucked-up child, but they have no idea what kind of shit you get into.

Each class is a blur as I sit through hours of introductions. Finally, its time for lunch. I don’t have friends to sit with, and I don’t like to give people the satisfaction of watching me sit by myself, so usually I spend the period in the library. I’m safe among the stacks. Books can’t judge you, but they can be an escape from your fucked reality. I can’t find a place to sit in the main library, so I go in the back by the computers. There’s a kid talking on his phone, but I don’t think he’ll mind my presence. I find a seat in the corner and lose myself in a book.

Suddenly, I’m snapped back into reality when the printer goes off. It scared the shit out of me. I look at the paper the printer is spitting out, “Dear Evan Hansen” the top reads. I look over to see Evan hunched over a laptop, talking to himself. I don’t think this kid has any friends either, besides Jared, but Jared’s a dick. Evan isn’t a freak like me, but he’s just someone always in the background. Everyone knows who he is, but no one cares.

I should probably apologize to him about earlier.

I grab the paper and walk over to him, “Hey.” He looks up at me, startled. “So, what did you do to your arm anyways?” I ask him.

He looks down at is arm as if he’s confused as to what I’m talking about. “Oh”, he stammers “I fell out of a tree.”

I look at him, expecting him to say more, he doesn’t. “Well, that’s just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard” I tell him.

“I know,” he says.

I look at his cast, its blank. I guess it makes sense, since he doesn’t have any friends. “Hey, no one’s signed your cast yet; I will,” I say.

“No, no you don’t have to” Evan whines.

“Do you have a sharpie?” I ask. He stares at me for a moment before he starts digging in his backpack and pulls out a marker, handing it to me. I grab his arm, and he winces. I ignore that and write my name as large as I can along the side of his cast. I figure, no one else is probably going to sign it, so I might as well take up as much real-estate  as I can. “There,” I say, “now we can both pretend that we have friends.” Evan stares at his cast.

I remember that I still have his paper, “is this yours?” I ask, holding it out to him, “I found it on the printer, it says ‘Dear Evan Hansen,’ that’s you right?”

“Oh, that’s nothing, um, it’s stupid.” He tries to grab the paper from me, “It’s just an assignment”

I pull it out of his reach and look at it, my eyes land on Zoe’s name, “because there’s Zoe” I read aloud, “Did you write some freaky shit about my sister?”

“No, no” He stutters, trying to rip the paper out of my hand, “Why would I do that?”

“You wrote it because you knew I would find it” I snap, “So I would freak out and you can tell everyone that Connor Murphy is a fucking freak.”

“No” Evan cries.

I shove the paper into my pocket, “Fuck you” I say as I storm away.

I walk out of the library, and right out of the front door of the school. There’s still two periods left, but I don’t care, I’ve had enough of today. I keep walking, I don’t even know where I’m going. Eventually, when I’ve put enough distance between me and the school, I pause to pull out my headphones and put on some music. I don’t even care what I’m listening to, it just has to be loud enough to block out my thoughts.

I don’t feel bad about pushing Evan anymore; honestly that kid deserves way worse. He had to know I was in the room with him. No one is that oblivious to the world to not even notice that they’re not alone. Why would he write about my sister? Like does he have a weird fantasy about her that he just had to get down, and print out? Look buddy, most people keep their private thoughts in their head, where they belong.

I eventually reach a park, its oddly empty, but I guess all the children are still at school. I sit on a bench and throw my bag onto the ground, it rattles with impact. I pick it up to investigate the sound; I dig around until I find the source: a prescription bottle. I forgot that I had put my meds in here. I hold  the bottle and read the label, it’s good old Prozac. I have refused to take it ever since it was prescribed to me. If you look it up, it has so many warnings and side effects listed, it doesn’t even seem worth it. Like there’s a small chance this will make you feel better, but there’s an even bigger chance that it might kill you, or make you want to kill yourself. The irony! They give you the medicine because you think about killing yourself, but the medicine makes you want to actually kill yourself. Do doctors even care about you, or do they just write you a prescription, so you go away?

I’ve never taken a single dose of this medication, outside of the hospital where they basically force it down your throat, but now seems like a good time to. I feel so numb, what does it even matter, it’s supposed to help me right? I swallow a pill, dry, and then another, and another. I keep swallowing them until I run out of pills. I throw the empty bottle on to the ground. Suddenly, I have a killer headache; I can feel my heart pounding, thoughts are racing in my mind. I lay down on the bench and take a deep breath.

[thewhumpstuff]

You and I, Me and You [10]

@badthingshappenbingo [Original characters and content for prompt: Friendly Fire]

[Teaser and Master List] [Archives of our Own] (On their turf: Chapter 1)

[<– Previous] ~ [Next –>]

Friendly Fire.

Jared and Akira stayed nestled against one another for longer than they should have. It wasn’t just water that rolled down her cheeks.

Tears pooled in his eyes too. He squeezed her closer and she was grateful for it. For the warmth… For the release. Akira’s sobs faded to soft sniffles and then stopped. Her ragged breathing found a semblance of a rhythm again. He could feel the thrum of her heart through her soaking shirt, it gave him some measure of peace, to witness as the pace of the beat slowed. But a dread filled him as she relaxed.

They knew this moment was going to come to an end. There were so many things they wanted to say to one another. They didn’t.

Akira peeled herself off him, eventually, once her mental faculties were somewhat repaired and she could no longer ignore that she was still his prisoner. She wiped her face with the soppy sleeve of her shirt, carefully avoiding the small bruise and cut from their skirmish before. She choked back the sniffles. Physically, she still felt drained and weak. So, she resorted to crawling away. The floor was littered with small pools of water, her jeans wiped some of it as she dragged herself away from him. She didn’t get too far; they were separated by the length of the table in front of them. The distance was symbolic.

He understood what her gesture meant, better than he wanted to. The moment had passed. He felt an Akira-shaped darker splotch against his clothes. The light wasn’t enough to discern it visibly, but he could still feel it. The draft of air against it was a cold reminder of her absence. But, with time, it’d dry out…

That’s what he had assumed would happen when she abandoned her task and was labelled a traitor. He thought his love would evaporate... Had evaporated. And yet, he could not bring himself to turn her over without closure. This closure wasn’t coming by easy. Jared wanted to reach out and pull her back, but the moment had passed and they both resumed their parts. He turned to look at her, she did not. She had her head buried between her knees; arms wrapped around herself, trying to replace his body’s warmth, so she could stop herself from shaking, grit her teeth to make sure they did not clatter. Her uneven breathing was still evidence. Despite her best efforts, her sigh was a stuttering exhale.

“I’ll get you something to change into…” He stated. She wished she could have asked him to stay… Just for a little while longer. Her hands searched and found the buttons of her shirt, it hung against her frame, slowly she began peeling it off. When he got back and walked in, even the soft light illuminated too much. He averted his gaze and swiftly walked back out. “Sorry…” He called out. She was almost puzzled and replied with a bitter callousness. “What? It’s nothing you… and so many others haven’t already seen.”

There it was, the dark past she had now acquired, lurking in the simplicity of her words and evident in a very precisely created ladder of scars that ran down her ribcage. He had caught just a glimpse and it he was reminded of the darkness she had chosen. She took them and dropped her clothes onto the chair, the sodden fabric fell with a heavy, comical plop. He shoved his hand through a crack in the door, stubbornly. He was holding a towel and a fresh shirt.

His towel. His shirt. She dried herself quickly. A long time ago, a conversation with Nova had taught her that it was universal to like the clothes of someone you loved. She also learned that she was not an exception. Wearing his shirt felt like wearing a new skin. It objectively felt better too. “You can come in now…” She rolled her eyes at having to offer permission like this. But the act of chivalry and the warmth of fresh clothes, left her feeling better. Her jeans needed to dry out, but his shirt was long enough. He peeked before slinking in and closed the door behind them. The silence felt as thick as the darkness that doused them.

He cleared his throat before asking his question. “You… said Ezekiel… what about him?” It felt uncomfortable, like the name itself was tainted. His face went a little ashen. She could not see him well enough. The way he repeated the name was enough for her to decipher how he felt. She sought to lift lighten the heaviness settling on them like soaked blankets. “Depends on who is asking, SpecSyn agent, or my Red Knight…” Jared didn’t miss the possessive pronoun, despite it being buried in a raspy mutter, but it only made his voice constrict some more as he put effort into keeping it even. How much did she know? “Does it matter that much? Why are you so keen on keeping things from SpecSyn?” She shook her head but did not have the strength to argue with him about it now. Not without re-opening so many wounds…

She was not sure if she would ever get to talk to Jared about what she knew of his past. If nothing else than to just verify that some of it was merely a twisted fable. “Why? Why would you… they, send Nova after me?” she asked, smoothening her slick strands, they clung to her forehead and neck. He spoke and found himself mimicking her. “You rubbed off on her more than you realise, Shira… SpecSyn didn’t sanction her request to follow you. So, she just took matters into her own hands, we have not heard from her since.” She looked away and he reached for a cigarette. “She’s w-”

Somewhere a window was shattered, and it interrupted her answer. The sound was far enough to buy them some time—maybe just a few minutes. Yet, it was close enough to create panic. “Cavalry is busting in already, huh? How off the books is th-” She tried to be cavalier. He pressed his hand against her mouth with an urgency. He was glaring again. She was the cornered one, but he looked more like the animal. “Was this a fucking set-up, Akira?” The frantic menace in his question sent a stab of fear through her. She shook her head against the grip of his palm, violently. They’d just been getting somewhere… Akira reflected the panic she saw, and her heart sank with a dark realisation. She wasn’t looking forward to eventually being hauled off by SpecSyn, but she’d assumed that to be her new reality. Akira was so convinced of it, she never considered the outcome that she dreaded more.

Something had just kicked down a door. Too close for comfort and then another… and another. Getting steadily closer. Jared flipped her around and held her against him in a firm grip. The other arm snaked around her neck again, it tightened enough to make her uncomfortable and slightly red in the face. Their cell’s door was finally kicked down. “She’s one of yours, isn’t she?” Jared’s question also served as a declaration. A flash-light was shone in his eyes, it swivelled between his face and Akira’s. He lifted his hand to block the piercing rays, that sliced through the darkness and through their tenuously woven net of safety. Akira was reminded of the spotlight. She squinted and she struggled against the snare of his chokehold, for the second time today. She could not see the face behind the light, but she could see the barrel of a gun that sat under the torch. It was pointed first at Jared and then, just like the light… it was pointed at her. The safety clicked off. A heavy ascending beat, a frantic thrum played against her scarred rib cage, she closed her eyes.

“Her life is a lot less valuable when she’s in your shirt.” She recognized that voice. She would recognize it anywhere. It was Tariq. Jared probably recognized him too, albeit in a delayed manner. Jared made a small motion. Tightening his grip, but his trump card was feeling like a bust. Tariq was not close enough for Jared to attempt grappling with him, but the intent slipped into his movement nonetheless, it prompted a threat. “Don’t even think about it, Knight, my bullet will still move faster than you.” Tariq growled; his voice carried the weight of some choice that he was making. She couldn’t turn to look at Jared, nor could she meet Tariq’s eyes. “Tariq… This is not wha-” She whispered softly.

Jared was glad that the light wasn’t on him, because he couldn’t digest watching Akira explain herself to this other man with a straight face. To Tariq, she reeked of guilt and fear. She wished she could tell them both, that nothing was what looked like. She simply addressed Tariq because he was the one with the gun. “DON’T MOVE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.” It felt odd to use such a tone with her. Tariq had been her friend, her comrade and, just… hers. More of the Q.B. gang were sneaking up to the scene. Tariq was the lucky man who’d caught the fish… or rather fishes in the act. They were all eager to get a peek at the action. Jared and Akira were resigned to silence. “Scout the place for backup!” Tariq’s voice was grating as he directed his men away. He wasn’t usually this short or demanding with them.

He flipped the torch in his hand avoiding the glare of the light. It doubled as a pocketknife. In a fluid motion, he flicked it open and lunged towards Akira. He slashed at her torso, shredding through the shirt. It left a series of small angry gashes that lined up like stitches, they ran from her right hip to her left shoulder. She was shocked at the assault against her. She expected to be shot, she had even considered asking Tariq for that goddamn bullet. But she could not have expected the blade. That gesture was unexpected enough to surprise Jared too, which was rare. He should have struck the moment Tariq ducked into range…

Tariq had already finished his slicing motion, before he earned an elbow to his nose. Akira felt the warmth of the oozing blood, it trickled, first down her leg from the starting point on her hip, then down her side from the point where the slice ended in a deeper jab under her shoulder. Next came the chill as the ill-formed gash was exposed to the air… A sharp and burning sting followed. She didn’t recognize the mangled hiss that left her lips. It was made by the air she drew, through her grit teeth, unevenly.

The men struggled and wrestled in a way that made them look like they were handling porcelain vases. Despite their best efforts, their caution wasn’t enough. Bang. Before Akira could come to terms with the sting of the gash, the gun went off. Three pairs of anxious, wide eyes searched for the victim. She looked at Jared, then at Tariq... and she understood. Fuck. Everything had happened so quickly. Something rattled in her like a wave of an earthquake, the epicentre was the bullet lodged into the flesh of her thigh. It was hot - the sear of the metal in the wound it made. She opened her mouth, but no sound left it. It got worse. Her hand reached for the source of the pain with a distant fascination, to confirm that she indeed, was the receptacle for this bullet. She was.

Tariq stammered somewhere in her vicinity. A very soft and very broken apology? She could not be sure. In the recesses of her mind, she found herself wishing she were wearing her jeans, just so the dark fibre could soak up the blood that her fingers had absently collected. She felt oddly rejuvenated. Everything was crystal clear. She was acutely aware that she was injured. Despite the intensity of the pain, it had a blurred, vague quality to it. Like… it should have felt worse. But did not yet. She teetered on just one foot. Something tugged at her shirt… At Jared’s shirt on her… with an urgency that made her lose balance. Hands reached out to catch her. Tariq believed he had pulled off the shirt just as eyeballs peered through the doorway, they watched rivetted in sharp contrast with the disinterest that she scanned them. “Isn’t that… Kira? Did she get shot?” “Fuck that! Isn’t that Jared Knight?” The name made her search for his face. It blurred in and out of view, but not once did he look at her.

Tariq could not afford to lose control right now. He needed to guide his men and he was the only thing standing between them and Akira’s truth. “Alright lads and ladies… We have acquired our target. Time to report back.” Tariq’s voice was so assertive, yet there was reluctance and delay. More than one person was probably recording this spectacle, using their SmartEye contacts. There was no way any of these recruits, did not want to flaunt being on the team that hauled in the famous Red Knight.

Jared let things happen around him. He did not fight; he did not speak. He did not respond to the muttered taunts, to the rumours. He did not confirm or deny anything. “Carry her.” Tariq barked the order at Jared and shoved the gun against the small of the SpecSyn agent’s back. Jared did not need to be told twice. He scooped her into his arms, like a bride… A very blood bride. The gunshot wound, much like the series of gashes, spewed blood, the gush was exacerbated by motion, but mostly it was a seeping trickle. It was reasonable to assume the major vessels had been spared. He tried his best to keep her still, nonetheless. Tariq pressed the shirt he had ripped off Akira, into the wound like a rag as he walked by Jared’s side. “She’ll make it, she’ll be fine.” The Q.B. emissary said. While the two men looked like they would rip each other apart, given the chance… They both sought solace in the promise of those words.

[Category 3]