#no matter already did lmao

[fonulyn]

May I have a fic rec, please?

I would like to do a full Fon re-read but, and you may not be aware of this, you have A LOT of fics.

In your expert opinion, where should I start?

... when you say "a fic rec" do you mean just one fic or? :'D because c'mon these are my children and there's over 200 of them how am i supposed to pick just one! :'D

so i'm gonna just. take this as an opportunity to list some of my personal favorites and you can ...idk use a random number generator to pick one? :'D (or start with 5 it's a good start)

reach the point of no return; Chris/Leon; Chris proposes and the timing is questionable. (idk it still makes me laugh :'D it's one of the very first fics I wrote in this fandom (like the third? I think) and it still makes me happy so I think it's worth mentioning lol)

survival is secondary (to having it all again with you); Chris/Leon; Leon tries to sort through the traumatic aftermath of being kidnapped and tortured, and watching Ada die because of him. (this was my attempt at touching the complicated ...whatever it is between Ada and Leon, and idk I do enjoy rereading it occasionally)

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow; Chris/Leon; They fight their way out of a BOW infested castle while going from idiots to lovers. (very self-indulgent Leon-gets-impaled (and not in the sexy way lmao) fic :'D)

from the gates of longing; Chris/Leon;  Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for. (I just loved writing the re4-ish Leon. considering how much i love that version of him i write him very rarely lol)

so I confide in you (for nothing compares to you); Piers/Leon; Leon saves the president's son from a cult, but that isn't the end of their story, it's only the beginning. (one of my personal top faves negl, I loved getting to include re4 and Vendetta and my fave otp in one fic :'D in hindsight I wish I'd somehow worked Damnation in too lol but I'm still happy with this)

all the things you are; Jake/Piers; At first, Piers isn't happy the guy he's been hooking up with turns out to be a damn mercenary. Then, his emotions get more and more complicated. (their dynamic is just so fun to write, and this fic is something that rattled in my brain for a good while demanding to be written lol)

maybe he's born with it; Piers/Leon; There's a bet going within the BSAA whether Leon is a natural blond or not. Piers is not amused. (it makes me laugh :'D that's reason enough)

without hope, without fear; Jason/Leon (past Krauser/Leon); Jason tries to convince Leon of his cause, and when it fails, he takes of Leon what he can. (I am still so bummed that the obvious Krauser-Jason parallels were so uniformly ignored by fandom 😩 there's so much potential. also the monsterfucking was fun to write lol. I'm still happy with this one and I hope one day i can write more Jason)

can't help but follow in spite of going insane; Krauser/Leon; Krauser takes too long to kill Leon and Saddler intervenes. (negl I had tons of fun with this and i love the complicated mess of feelings between Leon and Krauser. I'm both really happy with the ambiguous ending and sad that I couldn't figure out how to make this fic longer :'D)

will you be by me?; Piers/Leon; After getting infected in China, Piers doesn't regain all of his memories. Leon has to deal with both almost losing Piers and losing their entire relationship. (I'm honestly so happy with how the sad stuff in this turned out. it makes me cry :'D so I feel accomplished)

never too much to ask for; Piers/Leon; Leon's journey to learn that he is allowed to have nice things. (I love love love Leon learning to enjoy hugs and closeness, and even more importantly, learning that he deserves them and can have as many as he wants!)

nothing else remains; Piers/Leon; So Leon might've known he had a bit of a praise kink but the intensity of it still takes him by surprise. Or maybe it's Piers, who is making everything even more intense with his mere presence. (what can I say, I think Leon is desperate for praise and deserves every bit of it ;D srsly, i'm way pleased with this one)

and love shall heal the scars; Chris/Leon/Piers; Leon is missing and presumed dead, but in reality he's in captivity being tortured, while Chris and Piers desperately try to find him. (not sure what it says about me but i loved writing this :'D)

winter lovin' (there's snow one like you); Piers/Leon; They get a winter vacation. (things don't get much more self-indulgent than this tbh I just want all the fun good things for them! and them being in Finland is just a plus :'D)

only the courage to continue counts; Piers/Leon; Leon is sent to Spain with a new partner to save the president's daughter. (i worked so hard on this and my love for re4 knows no bounds)

heal the scars and change the stars; Piers/Leon; Piers and Leon are stuck together with civilians and surrounded by zombies waiting for rescue. What makes it harder is the fact that they've broken up, even though they still love each other. (I still remember the dream that inspired this so vividly. and what can i say, they're a love story for the ages :'D am happy with how this turned out)

last chance garage; Chris/Leon/Piers; Chris and Leon retire and start a garage together, before ending up getting together. Yet somehow something is still missing. Until Piers. (i never intended to write 8k of this lol but in hindsight i'm glad i did because i think it turned out great. altho i'm still a little bummed no one else enjoyed my fave scene in it :'D)

honorable mentions to the re2 Piers/Leon time travel au, the Piers/Leon choose your own ending (with varying degrees of death), the Piers/Leon woke up as girls for a day smuttage, the Chris accidentally breaks Leon's heart but Piers puts it back together fic, the Piers/Leon where Leon has a bit of a competency kink, the little nose kisses Piers/Leon fluff, and the tiny soft moment Piers/Leon.

and as separate mentions, a couple of series;

the pinnacle of self-indulgence; Piers/Leon; it's obviously very long and obviously very self-indulgent but I just can't not mention it because it's important to me. and I'm hoping to get the next part done soonish.

the Krauser's back trilogy; Krauser/Leon; i'm genuinely proud of how it turned out. i am more of a fluff person so writing something more complicated always feels like an accomplishment :'D

hey, it's free (mutant) baby!; Piers/Leon; ok this series only has one fic rn but i'm halfway through writing the second part and have plans for like... five parts, so maybe i'll one day get them written.

[add1ctedt0you]

What a plot twist you were. [x]

[stiffyck]

I just now realized that I may or may not have made a mistake. Um. If I made a mistake I am quite possibly fucked for like a year lmfao

[shigarakins]

i remember when the bodysnatching happened and how hardly anyone else in the fandom (or what i saw of the fandom) seemed to find it as horrifying as i did. then the same thing happened again with the mind invasion. and yes the fact that the mind invasion happened at all and not even the story gave much of a fuck about the fact that it did is still one of biggest gripes with the finale

[thegreatyin]

y'know, it probably feels weird for the scoundrel to admit, but they feel surprisingly comforted to be back on their ship for a change. they finally have control of the situation, they're finally around people they (vaguely) trust, they- wait a minute hold on what was that line

oh

oh no

oh no the horrors just keep getting worse and worse for them

[thatswhatsushesaid]

didn't anyone ever tell u it's rude to interrupt, da-ge

[shooks-stupid-stuff]

i did it. i did the funny thing-

"man shook you're real late to this trend" look man i started this a month and a half ago but then uh.

decided to take things a bit too far-

anyways, i modded peppino into 100% orange juice, it's fully functional with voicelines and you can get it on the steam workshop here (plus there's a few other things i changed but well... those are a surprise :]

[molar-bear-sims]

day two on the job: back with the gang

[blogquestionmark]

maturing is realizing llorumi is a bad ship not bc its toxic but bc its pseudo incest

[faaun]

she's so arrogant and annoying and hot it pisses me off !!!

[salty-an-disco]

Your design for Paranoid loosely reminds me of Dendy from OK K.O. in the best way possible.

yeah, I can see it lmao.

Just add in some more anxiety and the visible horror in their eyes, and they’re basically the same person

[bonetrousledbones]

Have you checked out UT Yellow yet? It's really fun and hits in the feels over and over. And I'm curious who your favorite character would be.

i have not! sadly for some reason i'm just not super interested in fangames so i honestly haven't looked into it much :( that star guy's design is pretty sick though i'll give it that

[chromaticroses]

sometimes we talk to reasonable ppl who are against generated art and go “oh, this is really just a difference in philosophy, i don’t really have to care all that much about it” and then i get an opinion from The Internet At Large and go “oh right it is vitally important that i Very Loudly care about this”

[vvelegrin]

another funny thing is how every single thing produced or written by a doctor on something that is not commonly diagnosed is like, come on, we're trying!!!! remember that we're trying!!! if a doctor doesn't have the information you need, it's not necessarily their fault, they're working with whta they have :(((( come oooonnnn, it's probably that doctor's birthday, he's just a little doctor birthday boy. you're going to be mad at him on his birthday? wow. did you know every doctor was born on the same day so when you are mad at one you're mad on ALL of our birthdays? we're trying!!!! remember that we're trying!!!! we don't have the resources!!!! and we're not going to look for them <3

[fideidefenswhore]

'AB should have stayed on cromwell's good side and supported his policy, which she believed unduly favoured those of the realm who were already wealthy and would disadvantage the poor'...........you are not serious people.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.

but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]

like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.

and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']

another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]

tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want