#no longer mentally ill probably i’ll check in with that later

[krispiecake]

I am officially an entire year free from suicide attempts

[texanredrose]

Prep and Goth

Day 1: Enemies to Lovers/Secret Library Time

---

Weiss stared at the clock, mentally urging the second hand to move faster. The transition between this period and the next always took the longest- or at least it felt like time slowed down around this point in the day. She hated how the end of the period never caught her off guard; she was always keenly aware of the clock, with her work done and backpack already packed and ready for her to leave the classroom. She was usually the first one out the door.

“Hey, if I give you five lien, could you get me a redbull?”

“No, Ruby; for the last time, I don’t have a release period next, I’m a library aide.”

“Oh, come on, everyone knows you just show up, sign in, and disappear!” Her fellow senior slumped in her seat. “It’s not like you’re going to get in trouble! Ms. Goodwitch knows you ditch and she doesn’t say anything!”

How she’d become friends- perhaps even best friends- with the school’s most energetic track star was beyond her; it involved an ill fated chemistry lab and the fire department but, honestly, she couldn’t remember specific details beyond that. While Weiss would love to say she merely put up with and tolerated Ruby, the truth was that she still hadn’t entirely adjusted to the concept of having someone who would be with her through thick and thin. She was being… persuaded to open up to the young woman but she still kept more secrets than she probably should from her best friend.

“I swear, Ruby Rose, if you keep spreading such slander about my character, I’ll be forced to take drastic action!” She tore her gaze away from the clock to glare at the woman. “I do not skip class!”

Rolling her silver eyes, Ruby rested her head on her desk and groaned. “Just because you’re the Valedictorian doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, Weiss. No one’s going to care if you ditch one period.”

“I care!” The bell rang a moment later and she forgot about the argument entirely as she quickly grabbed her pack and fast walked to the door.

The walk from her class to the library was a blessedly short one, made slightly longer by classmates and underclassmen getting in her way as other students emerged into the hallway for the passing period. A cold glare managed to persuade some of them to move but not all of them- those blessedly ignorant few she stepped around or nearly barreled through if she could get away with it. It probably contributed to her reputation of being a vicious, cut throat type of person like her sister but her patience had worn too thin and she needed to get to the library.

A few steps from her goal, a hand suddenly landed on her shoulder and spun her around, and only two people in the whole school would dare put their hands on her like that, and only one of them for no good reason. “YANG-”

“Calm down, Princess, this’ll be quick, promise!” With hands on Weiss’ shoulders, she guided them away from the throng of students to a small alcove next to the library doors. “Just got something I need to say real quick.”

“What could you possibly have to say to me?” Weiss scowled at the blonde, annoyed that she seemed to get taller every time they talked, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Last I checked, I didn’t have anything to do with the girls’ basketball team. Or the weightlifting team. Or the boxing team. Or-”

Yang clapped her hands together in front of Weiss’ face, smiling that do-you-really-think-they’ll-expel-me smile of hers. “Hey, do me a favor? Drop the frigid bitch act for, like, five minutes, okay? Because I really don’t have the time for it; if you wanna go toe-to-toe in the bitch-out-lypmics, we can schedule that another time, but right now, I need to have a serious talk with you. It’s about Blake.”

At the namedrop, her blood ran cold and her heart lodged in her throat, eyes growing wide as a genuine tendril of fear began taking root in her chest. “Is she okay?”

“Well, that depends,” Yang replied, looking around at their classmates walking past without paying them any mind. “Look. I don’t get it, okay, the whole secret girlfriends thing, I don’t even know how you two got together… but what I do know is that Blake deserves better than someone who’s ashamed of her-”

“Don’t you dare put words in my mouth,” she hissed, worry turning to fury in the blink of an eye. “I’m not ashamed to be dating Blake. If it was safe, everyone would know!”

“Yeah, can you define ‘safe’ for me in this context? Because I’m having a real hard time convincing Blake you’re being sincere when you don’t want anyone knowing the two of you are dating.”

“You know we’re dating!”

“Because I refuse to let things go and I knew she was acting weird!” Yang growled in frustration, fingers flexing as if she was seriously debating throttling Weiss. “Listen, I figured it out and I bullied her into telling me weeks ago, but not even Ruby knows beyond that. Not a fan of keeping secrets but I’ll do it for a friend. Now, answer my question, please, because with the rest of the school convinced you two hate each other, this whole ‘don’t tell anyone we’re dating thing’ is clear as mud, and it’s really starting to get to her.”

Weiss’ shoulders fell as she looked away, her anger abating in the face of the situation presented to her. “It’s… complicated.”

“Then uncomplicate it for me.” Yang made a gesture with one hand. “Just give me a straight answer!”

“I can’t!” She stamped her foot, speaking before she could think about her word choice. “I can only give you a gay answer!”

Yang stared at her for a long moment. “So, that’s what Blake meant when she said you have the worst sense of humor.”

“I’m done with this conversation-”

Yang grabbed her arm and stopped her, expression turning serious. “Listen, you don’t wanna talk to me? Fine. But talk to Blake. If you really care about her, she deserves to hear that.”

As the blonde stepped away, the bell rang, making both of them late- not that it would matter. Ms. Goodwitch wouldn’t count her late and even if she did, a single tardy wouldn’t be much of a blemish on her record. There was a time when it would’ve bothered her but she’d grown past that a few years ago; perfection was, in some sense, in the eye of the beholder. Blake would notice, though, and she hurried to the library to keep her ‘secret girlfriend’ from worrying.

When she got to the library, she dropped her bag behind the counter and signed in, highly aware that Blake was somewhere among the rows reshelving books. 

The librarian gave her a small nod. “I presume you have good reason for being late but don’t make a habit of it.”

“Of course, Ms. Goodwitch.” With that, she grabbed a few leftover books that needed reshelving and went into the stacks to reshelve them. As soon as she was far enough away from the front desk, she spoke in a soft voice that Blake would be able to hear regardless. “Blake? I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Is everything alright?” She’d long ago grown accustomed to the faunus’ silent steps, which really shouldn’t be possible given the amount of glistening chains and bits of metal hung from her ensemble but it was one of those things Weiss had accepted about Blake at first and had grown to admire. “It’s not like you to be late.”

“I… got pulled into a conversation.” She debated, briefly, if she should mention who the conversation was with but ultimately decided against it. Yang would likely bring it up herself at some point but she didn’t want the distraction at present. “Blake… you know I care about you, right?”

“Yes, Weiss, and I care about you, too,” she replied, her voice holding that special lilt that Weiss used to think was snideness. Now, she recognized it as a gentle sort of teasing and, sometimes, a deflection. “What brought this on?”

“I’ve been thinking about some things… and I find myself curious about some… other things.”

“Truly, you have a way with words.”

“I’m trying to be serious!” Weiss whined, putting a hand to her head as she tried to think of a way to word what she wanted to say. In the next moment, Blake stepped up and wrapped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Weiss’ shoulder in a silent show of support. This was, partly, where they differed, because even when words escaped Blake, the faunus could somehow find a way to convey what she needed; Weiss, in contrast, simply clammed up entirely if she didn’t begin insulting whoever was nearest. “You know the only reason we’re not dating publicly is because of my family, right? That, the moment I turn eighteen and gain access to my funds, I’ll shout it from the rooftops… right?”

Blake took a step back but one hand lingered on Weiss’ hip, a soft assurance that she wasn’t leaving but that they should probably have a conversation like this face-to-face. When she turned around, she searched shining amber eyes and found a touch of disbelief hiding there. “I’ll admit, I didn’t think it was the only reason.”

“It really is…” Weiss sighed, running a hand through her bangs in frustration. “I… I don’t know how to prove it, I don’t know if there’s anything I could say or do that would, but… I don’t want you thinking that I’m ashamed of dating you… that’s… that’s the furthest from the truth.”

Feline ears flicked towards one end of the row and both of them quickly focused on shelving the few books that remained as a group of students went back to one of the study rooms. Once the coast was clear, Blake sighed heavily. “I told Yang to drop it.”

“She’s trying to help.” Begrudgingly, she continued. “Ruby’s the same way. They meddle when they can but they have the best of intentions.”

“Still… she wasn’t too… forceful, was she?”

“She only threatened to throttle me, so no, she wasn’t too forceful.” Weiss tilted her head. “And, arguably, she has a salient point. I… I perhaps took it for granted that you would… that I made my feelings about you clear to you.”

Blake ducked her head, her ears flicking back briefly to blending into midnight black hair. As per her usual, the faunus was bedecked in all black save for the silver of the chains hanging from her pants and the snake bite piercings on her bottom lip. Whenever they were making out, Weiss found that flicking either of the piercings with her tongue would always result in a soft groan from Blake.

“So… when you turn eighteen…basically, when we graduate?” Blake took a step forward. “That’s… a long time to be a secret from everyone.”

“Well… not from everyone. Yang knows.”

“Uh huh.”

“And Ruby will know… when I tell her…”

“Right.” Blake came a bit closer. “I guess that means we won’t be going to prom together.”

Weiss raised a brow, then caught onto what her girlfriend was doing, a smile tugging at her lips. “You? Go to prom?” A soft chuckle. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be caught dead at… what was it you called it? A useless party for empty headed idiots?”

“And a waste of money. I said that, too.” Blake stopped just a hair’s breadth away and very nonchalantly shelved a book just behind Weiss’ shoulder. “But you’ve got a crown to win, right? Prom Queen to go with your other honors?”

“There’s only one crown that I care to claim,” she replied, reaching up to bury her hand in midnight locks between the faunus’ ears and pulling her down into a kiss. Normally, they didn’t indulge in such outside of Ms. Goodwitch’s office, which the librarian granted them access to once they’d reshelved all the books. If she suspected what they did in there, she remained silent, probably because while reshelving the books they would also fix what other aides did incorrectly and she appreciated the help more than she cared to curtail PDAs.

The kiss didn’t last too long- just long enough to drive her point home- but the look in amber eyes almost made her too weak to move.

Weiss gathered her courage. “I do love you, Blake.”

Not ‘care about’, not ‘fond of’, not any other arrangement of words she’d used over the past year to describe how she felt. Fear that caring too much would make her careless had prevented her from saying the words before. Now, though, she couldn’t go another moment without Blake understanding exactly how much she cared.

After the shock passed, Blake smiled softly, ears canting forward. “I love you too, Weiss.”

It took a moment for them to part but they returned to the counter and finished reshelving the books.

“Blake?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think I’d look good in black?”

---

Hi, yes, please join me in picturing Blake as a late 90′s/early 00′s goth girl.

[weasleylangs]

in the summer sun - f.w

Pairing: Fred x Fem!Reader but honestly it’s just a whole Weasley family slice of life fic. Summary: The war has ended and the Weasley’s appreciate their family now more than ever. Warnings: Mention of the war, mention of Fred having a near death experience, mention of PTSD, anxiety, nightmares and injuries, opening scene involves an anxiety attack, fuck is said twice by the way. Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: This fic is inspired by this ask I received from Kai @weasleyclaw for the ‘send me a made up title game’! The warnings sound scary, but I promise this is a super fluffy slice-of-life fic with Fred and the reader, just existing after the war! Fred lives, obviously but he still had an accident and in reality, he’d be going through a lot of shit and I didn’t want to ignore that!

I am in no way romanticising mental illness and trauma, I myself struggle with a variety of mental illness and trauma and representation is super important, babey!!!!!! Proper support is important!!!!!!

I still can’t decide if I love or hate this but.... [schedules while I’m asleep]

----------------------

Fred sat up quickly. Heavy and ragged breathing coursing through his lungs as he struggled to catch his breath. He couldn’t even remember what he was dreaming of now that he’s awake, only remembering flashes of green and a loud ‘bombarda maxima’ before being shocked awake by his anxiety and fear.

He’s been plagued by nightmares for three months, ever since he was fighting in that seventh floor corridor and the wall came crashing down on him. He knows it’s normal to be haunted by these memories, he almost died, for crying out loud, but he would really like to have one night where he sleeps through it without being jolted awake. 

He could feel the pressure in his chest get stronger as he struggled to breathe as he checked the clock on the bedside table. It reads 6:30am and when he looks out the window he realises the sun is already rising and the summer heat is making it into their bedroom. His girlfriend of five years sleeps in the bed next to him, snoring lightly having not been woken up by his oncoming anxiety attack.

Fred struggles to remember the grounding technique she taught him when he had his first attack. She’s his biggest supporter, always there when he needs her, but he wants to get better himself . He doesn't want to rely on her for the rest of his days no matter how often she reminds him it’s okay and that she wouldn’t want to be doing anything else.

He’s got his legs swung over the side of the bed, his body closing in on himself when he feels the bed move and arms wrap around his middle, “Breathe, Freddie, and tell me five things you can see,” she whispers gently in his ear.

His eyes darts around the room, searching as he tries his best to breathe, “The tree outside our window, the lamp, that chair,” he struggles to speak as his breathing is laboured, “your book on my bedside table, my slippers…”

“Good job, my love. Now, four things you can touch.”

His hands grab hers, “Your hands,” he says as he turns to face her, “the duvet, my shirt and…” His hand moves, from her hand to cupping her face, “your hair.” 

This continues, Fred rattling off three things he can hear, two things he can smell and one thing he can taste before he realises his breathing has slowed down, his hands have stopped shaking and while the pressure in his chest is still there, it’s been alleviated and he knows it’ll disappear in a few moments. 

Y/N whispers soft praise in Fred’s ear as she lays him back down in their bed. She’s so proud of the progress he has made in just a short few months. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

He shakes his head, while he barely remembers, he knows it’s the same nightmare as usual. Hogwarts, duelling, wall comes crashing down and Fred almost dies. It’s more of a flashback if anything, that he’s constantly reliving the worst day of his life.

“That’s okay, we can just lay here and rest before we go to your mum and dad’s… If you still feel up to going?” Y/N knows when nights like this happen, Fred usually wants to stay in bed and recoup his energy and try again the next day. 

“No, no, we have to go,” he says and it’s not because it’s an obligation, he truly does want to. After almost dying, after spending almost a year without knowing if Ron, Harry and Hermione were okay, after Bellatrix Lestrange threatened to kill both Ginny and his own mother and with Percy reconnecting with them all, he appreciates family time like he never did before. They all deserve to have happy, carefree and relaxing days and that’s what today is meant to be for them all.

“If you’re sure, my love,” she whispers, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. Fred probably won't fall back asleep, the sun has risen and while he won’t admit it, he’s too scared to try and sleep again. But he doesn’t mind, he’s perfectly content having Y/N fall back asleep in his arms and sometimes, rarely but sometimes, her soft snores lulls Fred into a light, undisturbed sleep.

-

It’s lunch time by the time Fred and Y/N apparate to The Burrow. Fred’s still recovering physically from his injuries - having your entire body crushed by rubble does that to you, so he happily side-along apparates with Y/N instead of solo floo’ing places. 

When they walk into the house, they’re met with a chorus of hello’s and Molly dragging Fred into a hug and kisses his cheeks repeatedly, and then continues to complain that he has no meat on his bones and that he needs to be eating more while shoving a muffin into his hand. 

George is snickering by the table because someone who isn’t himself is finally being on the receiving end of his mothers affection and he has Angelina Johnson awkwardly beside him. When Y/N raises her eyebrows at him, he mouths a ‘I’ll explain later’ before winking and walking Angelina over to her. 

“Hey, Angie,” she says, pulling the girl into a hug. While they were never close at school, considering Y/N wasn’t a Gryffindor, they still got along when the time arose, “didn’t know my little Georgie here got himself a bird.” 

George groans at the fact Y/N completely ignored him and Angelina blushes as she tries to hide her face behind her hair, but Y/N can see that she’s smiling and not at all bothered by the teasing, “Hey, I’m only teasing, come here!” she says as she pulls the embarrassed girl into a tight embrace. While Y/N drops the subject of Angelina and George finally getting their lives together and dating after years of pining, George knows Y/N is going to corner him later and get the answers out of him.

Hermione and Ginny quickly run down the stairs and grab Y/N, pulling her into a hug as well. Soon enough, the entire family is trying to squeeze inside the living room - including Bill and Fleur who always turn up for the Weasley get together and even Charlie has taken extended leave from his job in Romania to stay and spend the summer with everyone. 

Because of the overcrowding, Ron whistles loudly, grabbing everyone’s attention, “Who wants to play a game of quidditch and let mum have some peace and quiet?” Immediately Harry, the twins, Angelina and Charlie are out the door, already fighting about teams and position. Y/N briefly hears Harry whine ‘I want to be on Charlie’s team but he plays seeker’ as their voices fade. Ginny stays back, wanting to catch up with Y/N for a bit and promises to join everyone later.

Fred loves nothing more than spending time with his siblings. Growing up as a twin, he’s had someone constantly by his side, but he loves his huge family more than anything. George and he spend 5 minutes fighting over who gets to be beater until they just decide they’ll just be on different teams before they realise they don’t have enough siblings for a full team anyway, meaning the beaters are out of the equation.

This causes the twins to just start jokingly fighting over who plays chaser before Ron and Harry has to break it up so they can actually play. 

Fred adores flying. His hair has been growing out and the wind through it as he flies is one of the best feelings in the world, he thinks. It makes him forget all his worries, his only focus is snatching the quaffle out of George’s slimy grip and getting it past Charlie, who’s playing both keeper and seeker for the other team to make up for the lack of players.

“Oi, Ickle Ronnikins,” he calls out from his broom, wobbling slightly as he yells to get his brother’s attention, “mind paying attention to the match and not your girlfriend? George is getting every shot in, mate,” He’s teasing of course. They can see the girls through the window and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t sneaking glances at Y/N.

Meanwhile, the three girls sit at the kitchen table chatting amongst themselves and Bill and Fleur are outside in the garden when Percy and his girlfriend turn up. There’s tension in the air, there always is when Percy turns up. It’s not that no one wants him there, but given his history of being a ‘right prat’ (Fred’s words), everyone is cautious. 

But he goes right up to Molly, pulling her into an embrace and kissing her on the cheek and then turns to his dad and gives him a hug. 

“Hey Gin, Y/N, Hermione,” he gives them a curt nod as they say hello back before pulling the girl beside him closer, “this is Audrey, my girlfriend. Do you guys mind hanging with her while I go find the boys?"

The girls, of course, nod. “How long have you and Percy been together for?” Y/N asks as the girl sits and she hopes she isn’t coming off rude. She’s been with Fred for five years and never met Audrey and Hermione’s been in the Weasley’s lives for even longer, so it’s clearly a recent development. 

“Around this time last year… With everything going on and Percy not being on speaking terms with everyone, we haven’t really had the chance to meet…” she trails off and Y/N senses the awkward tension rising, so she grabs Audrey’s hand in a reassuring matter.

“Don’t stress about that. You’re here now and you’re family,” while Y/N isn’t officially a Weasley, her and Fred have spoken about their future together on numerous occasions so she doesn’t feel like she’s speaking out of turn offering ‘Weasley Family Status’ to Audrey, “I’m Y/N, Fred’s girlfriend.” 

“And I’m Hermione, Ron’s girlfriend,” Hermione adds and before Ginny even speaks, Y/N interrupts her, “You’re obviously a Weasley, Gin,” and the girls all start giggling.

“I’m Ginny, Harry’s girlfriend!” she exclaims proudly when all the girls finally calm down and it only sets them off again.

What the girls don’t notice is that Molly’s watching them, with a smile on her face. She’s always wanted daughters - she loves Ginny and she loves every single one of her sons, but she wishes she had been able to give her a sister. But watching the scene unfold in front of her, how these girls welcome Audrey so easily into their lives, Molly’s eyes well with tears as she realises she has the most wonderful daughter and future daughter-in-laws a woman could ask for. 

“How’s Fred doing?” Ginny asks. Of course, everyone’s suffered from the war, but everyone is constantly concerned about Fred. 

“Between seeing his psychologist and his physical therapy appointments, he’s doing really good,” she says, looking out the window and she laughs as she sees Fred holding Ron in a headlock, shouting something about how rusty he is at keeper, “there’s days it’s hard, and he has really bad nightmares sometimes, and there's days where they make him not want to leave the house but he had one this morning and was determined to get here today. I’m really proud of him.” 

Molly rubs Y/N on the shoulders, almost like a thank you for being there for Fred through it all as she places muffins in front of all the girls and takes her own seat. She takes a moment to scold Arthur for trying to repair the muggle radio playing he’s stolen from work before joining in on the girls’ conversation as they eat. 

The sweet moment is interrupted by a voice that is clearly Percy’s shouting and both Y/N and Audrey’s automatic assumption is that the worst has happened. Especially when Y/N hears the familiar voice of her boyfriend shouting incoherently. 

All the girls rush out the door, expecting to break up a fight but that isn’t what’s happening. Instead, Fred has Percy on the ground, rolling around in dirt and they’re both laughing . Molly has to excuse herself, tears welling in her eyes at the sight of Percy being accepted by his brother. 

“What’s going on here?” Audrey questions. It’s clear she’s still weary, worried that at a moment's notice, Percy’s siblings will turn on him and forget his apology. Fred looks up, winking at Y/N before looking at Audrey and flashes her a cheeky smirk, “Perce said I suck at quidditch.” 

Everyone rolls their eyes at this as Y/N grabs Fred’s hand and pulls him up. She lives with him, so one would think that the time spent apart at The Burrow is no big deal, but secretly Y/N has always been super clingy, wanting to always have Fred in her sights, and it's only worsened now they live together.

“Hi Freddie,” she giggles, tucking herself close to his side despite the summer heat blasting down on them, “I miss you.” she whispers.

Fred lets out a cackle of a laugh, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and leading her to the tree they always sit under as he tells Ginny to take his spot on their makeshift quidditch team. Secretly, he was hoping to get away from the game because he needs a break and maybe an attempted nap under the tree. 

He settles down first, stretching his legs out as he leans against the trunk and then he pulls Y/N down to sit between them and to rest her back against his chest. This has always been their favourite way to cuddle.

“What’s the go with George and Angie? I knew they were going on dates but...” Fred asks, and Y/N shrugs. “He just said he’d fill me in later so I’m still waiting. But she’s at family day, so it must be getting serious.” Fred hums behind her, resting his chin on top of his head as he watches his family on the makeshift field in front of them fight over quidditch rules. George is trying to teach Percy fake rules and Ginny’s smacking him over the head as he laughs at the confused expression on Percy’s face. 

To their right, Arthur’s got the radio working and he’s charmed it to blast 80s muggle music loudly for the entire family to hear. Bill’s dragged Fleur to dance around with him and Arthur’s trying to get Molly to join them. Charlie’s sitting with Audrey and Hermione, probably droning on about dragons as usual and the girls listen intently, gasping when appropriate. 

“What are you thinking about?” Y/N asks. Fred is never this quiet, usually speaking every single thought that comes to his mind without any sort of filter. It’s gotten him in trouble a fair few times, from both his mother and Y/N. 

“I’m just happy,” he says quietly, tucking his head into her neck, and Y/N doesn’t miss the crack in his voice, “I’m so happy I’m here with everyone.” She shuffles in her spot so she can sit and face Fred and he can’t meet her eyes because his own are welling with tears.

“Don’t hide, my love, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she coos as she cups his cheeks in her hands. He leans into her touch and smiles as he sniffles. 

“I know, it’s just…” He trails off and Y/N knows what he’s going to say. He almost wasn’t here and that thought haunts the both of them more often than they’d like to admit. “I know, but that doesn’t matter, because you’re here , and I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am you are,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to his cheeks.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you,” he says and Y/N’s heart swells. Marriage and lots of ginger babies has always been in their life plan, but hearing Fred say it, so, so vulnerably, almost brings her to tears. “Forever, Freddie, you promised,” she replies and he leans forward and presses a soft kiss on her lips. 

He’s always promised. He promised forever when they were 16 and they’d only been together for a year as they danced at the Yule Ball until 12am. At 17, when he admitted he wouldn’t be finish the school year. He promised once again at 18, before he flew out of Hogwarts with George. At 19, straight after George had his ear cursed off and he was sick with fear because the war was real and happening.

At 20, they were fighting in their school and he’d promised, ‘We're surviving this fucking thing and I’m marrying you as soon as I can.’ 

They pull apart and Y/N is smiling at him, adoration filled in her eyes as Fred feels around in his shorts, clearly trying to grab something. When he pulls it out, Y/N’s eyes catch the small, velvet black box and while she doesn’t want to get her hopes up, her heart is racing.

“I’ve been carrying this everyday, waiting for the perfect time,” he chuckles, shaking his head. You’d think Fred Weasley would have a huge and bizarre proposal, most likely with fireworks and dancing gnomes somehow, but in reality, this is perfect. He’s surrounded by his loved ones, there’s no war and he wants nothing more than to officially make Y/N a Weasley. 

“Is that now, Freddie?” she says and he nods, smiling. Y/N thinks he’s never looked happier in his life. He knows what her answer will be so he doesn’t feel the slightest bit nervous.

“I promised you, we're surviving the war and I’m fucking marrying you as soon as I can, so here I am,” he pops the box open and Y/N gasps. It’s nothing extravagant but she doesn’t mind. Small and classy, just like she’d always wanted and she doesn’t even realise she’s crying until Fred’s hand wipes her tears with his free hand, “Will you marry me?” 

She barely gives an answer, nodding her head violently as she wraps her arms around his neck and presses her lips to his. Their teeth clash and they both laugh at Fred not being prepared to be jumped before getting a verbal response. Y/N pulls away and puts out her left hand, “Of course I’ll marry you.” 

He slides the ring on her finger and it’s a perfect fit. They continue to sit in front of the tree, watching their family but Y/N constantly catches herself looking at the diamond ring sparkling in the sun and she’s decided she’s never been happier as well.

Everything is perfect, because it’s the calm after a very, very long storm and she’s never taking family for granted again.

[sorryimanon]

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!Reader, Izuku Midoriya x NB!Reader

Warnings: some angst, FLUFF, and our boys being the best boys.

In which they comfort you after a rough day or week

A/N: im sorry if Izukus section is shorter than Bakugou’s. trying to practice writing other characters. enjoy!

Saturday's are reserved strictly by the majority of the girls from class 1-A, leaving the guys to hibernate inside their dorms as they allow the commencement of girls night. You've never rain checked nor rejected the idea of spending  quality time with your friends, considering all the tribe's and trepidation's everyone has endured together during their time at the academy. It's nice to just strip away the stress and dip your toes in pure relaxation.

Unfortunately, you woke up with a bad case of cloudy thoughts. For the past week you've been carrying the weight of dread, causing your mood to drastically change throughout the day. You'd be having a civil conversation with someone one minute and then the next minute you're completely irritated by their presence. You've tried to balance it out and fix it overnight with the regimes you researched on the internet. A new sleeping schedule, healthier diet, yoga, and even went to the extreme of writing in a journal. It was all so cut throat and prestigious, nothing close to your liking. Katsuki made fun of you for it one day when he snuck into your room and read the many inscriptions in your journal entries.

"This stuff reminds of Deku. Always shoving his nose in that stupid notebook of his," he didn't care much to hear your refutes about Izuku. "Anyways, what's with all this depressing shit you are writing? You don't really feel this way do you?"

You didn't give him a definite answer that day. Only a curt "no" and he resumed rambling about his day like nothing happened, having you listening with his voice like white noise going in one ear and out the other.

And that's how it went on throughout the duration of the prior week before Saturday.

Inside the confinement of your dorm, you made the rational decision to sleep in instead of attending classes. The chilling thoughts kept you up all night, never once allowing sleep to take full throttle. You tossed and turned around on your bed, unable to shut off your brain. So when you woke up in the peak of late afternoon, you weren't surprised to see the unread messages on your phone. All of them were from your explosive boyfriend.

King Explosion🤍: Oi you running late? Mr.Sleepy head is taking roll call

King Explosion🤍: y/n where tf r u?

King Explosion🤍: fine don't answer me ig

King Explosion🤍: are you at least coming down for lunch? i made curry last night and imma make you finish it

King Explosion🤍: fking hurry before dunce face eats it

King Explosion🤍: nvm he ate it 😐

Katsuki never intended for the message to be funny. He's probably blowing actual steams of smoke through his nostrils and ears while chasing kamanari amongst the halls. The comical imagery made you laugh harder. At least he made you crack a smile. You haven't shown any emotions let alone a hint of enthusiasm for tonight.

Maybe it'd be best to sit this one out.

"Hey, we're missing a person! Where's my y/n?" Mina asked after scanning the group of girls huddled around on the carpeted floor.

Momo shifted uncomfortably on the cushioned pillow she stole from the couch. "Y/N said she wasn't feeling too well to join us for tonight. Something about food poisoning and throwing up every hour."

In unison all the girls gasped, along with a concerned 'ribbit' from Tsuyu.

"Well I hope she gets to feeling better. I wouldn't want her to endure such sickness for much longer," Tsuyu croaked out.

Everyone in the circle agreed and promised to pay a visit later in the night to check on you.

On the fourth floor, Katsuki stared blankly at his phone, hands shaking due to the repressed anger he's been holding. Each of the messages he sent previously were all left on read, including the one he sent an hour ago asking if he could have a cuddle session with you before girls night. Yes, even an ill tempered guy such as him enjoys sappy shit like cuddling. After pacing back and forth in his room for a solid 5 minutes, he was now dead set on confronting you in front of your friends.

Katsuki made a beeline for the elevator and aggressively pressed the 1st floor button repeatedly in hopes it'll make the process go quicker. He reached the commons area in precision time, overhearing the girls giggle after someone suggested playing truth or dare. He towered over Uraraka's figure, casting a demonic shadow version of himself in the circle. Hagakure shrieked and clung onto Jirou.

"Where's y/n you extras?" He demanded, voice deafening the brunette under him.

"She didn't come tonight. She's in her dorm room sick," Jirou explained to him as she tried pry the invisible girl off her arm.

"Like hell she's sick!" Katsuki spun around quickly and retreated back to the elevator, mumbling obscenities under his breath. "She's going to pay for being so careless and irresponsible."

The commons room fell silent once the explosive blonde disappeared behind the doors of the elevator, all eyes searching each other in complete shock. Uraraka was the first to speak out of the small group.

“Should we warn y/n that Bakugou is coming for her?”

Jirou averted her gaze to the direction bakugou left off from, a ghost of a smirk spreading on her face.

“Nah. Knowing y/n, she can handle the asshole on her own.”

King Explosion🤍: can i come over? i wanna cuddle, i miss u

The text message kept flashing behind your eyes every-time you closed them - a sad image of Katsuki waiting impatiently for you to reply back with a heart or one of those unusual memes he unapologetically adores. You knew he’d be furious, no doubt about it, but you rationalized your decision and concluded it would be best to avoid your boyfriend like the plague till this undesired feeling dissipates. Katsuki doesn’t do well with people being emotional, let alone handle his own emotions for god’s sake.

Your own thoughts were interrupted by someone raping the outside of your door. The continuous knocks made your head spin, a painful sting ghosting back and forth between your eyes. Remembering back to an hour ago, you messaged one of the girls that you weren’t going to make it to tonight’s session. Surely they respected your wishes and continued on with their hangout? But you forgot about the one person who’s persistent and stubborn like a cat.

“I know you’re in there y/n! You may have fooled your idiotic friends with a lie, but you keep on forgetting you’re terrible at lying!” Katsuki hollers against the wood of the door, not once being considerate of those living above her.

He’s right. You’re absolutely horrible at making up excuses for yourself. Dating someone as intuitive as him will be the death of you.

“If there’s something going can you at least let me in? You can’t ignore me forever y/n.”

Again, he’s right.

You slipped out from the comfort of your bed and padded towards the door, mentally preparing for the blonde to scold you once he enters your room. What you weren’t prepared for was the tears swelling up in the ducts of his vermillion eyes - his hands clenched tightly into fists as he looked down at you. Your breathing hitched when his arm outstretched to rest on the door frame to keep his trembling body steady.

“What the hell y/n? Why the fuck have you been ignoring me?! Did I do something wrong?!” He asked, not caring about his current appearance.

You grab ahold of his other arm and absentmindedly started rubbing it affectionately, trying to coax him into calming down. “Katsuki no! You didn’t do anything wrong! Why would you think that?”

“Because dumbass, you’ve been distant this past week,” he paused, choking on his words. “Are...are you breaking up with me?”

Your eyes shot up instantly at his horrifying assumption. “Katsuki, if I tell you the truth, will you promise not to make things worse for me?”

He tilted his head in confusion, but nodded once you led him into your messy bedroom. Once inside, your boyfriend plopped down on your bed, watching intently as you anxiously bit down on your nails - a nervous habit you picked up at the beginning of the school year.

“I’ve been feeling weird lately. Ever since the beginning of last week. I don’t know how to describe it but, my brain is constantly feeding into my already negative state. Telling me things I know aren’t true but I’ve convinced myself they are. Almost as if a grey cloud is hovering above me,” tears were already starting to pour down your cheeks. “I just...I just feel so miserable and lonely and useless and irritated and- I’m so sorry for ignoring you. You probably want nothing to do with me after this!”

You manage to turn away from the sight of the blonde during your speech, ashamed of pouring out your emotions onto a person who disregards other peoples emotions and constitutes them as a quote on quote “pussy”.

From behind, you can hear faint shuffling nearing your already shaken up figure. A pair of muscular arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a wall that could only be described as his own chiseled chest, doing the same as you did moments ago with his arm - lulling you to calm down a notch before he stared speaking.

“If you been feeling this way, why lie when I asked you a few days ago after reading your journal?”

“I know how you are, Katsuki. You get very uncomfortable when people talk about their feelings. So, why should I be any different?”

Your boyfriend suddenly maneuvers you around in the circle of his arms, shifting to where you’re now making direct eye contact with him. His gaze intense and unwavering.

“Because you’re my girlfriend? I don’t give a rats ass about any of these extras. When it comes to you, I’d make an exception for. I made that promise to myself when we first started seeing each other. So don’t think for a second that I’ll disregard your true feelings, dumbass.” He stepped a couple of inches backwards, ankles eventually hitting the bottom of your bed - making him fall and dragging you along with him. You landed on top of him, head still buried in the depths of his hard chest. The vibrations of his chuckle shook your whole body. Katsuki gently titled your head to be leveled with his, a red tint of blush painting his pallid cheeks.

“I’m being serious though. Don’t be afraid to come to me when things get tough, okay? I love you too much to see you like this.”

Next thing you knew your boyfriend stole your breath away by meshing his plump lips onto yours, hands snaking their way into your hair and carefully massaging it. By all means, you let him have his way with you by kissing the sadness away, tears puddling together cheek on cheek.

He let go eventually, pecking a quick chaste kiss on the side of your mouth before hauling you further into the bed. You settled on letting him spoon you, knowing how much he likes the feeling of your backside pressed against him, and the fruity aroma of your hair infiltrating his senses.

“I promise Katsuki,” you said after some time during the cuddle session.

He shifted in his spot, head placed firmly in the crook of your neck. “Promise what?”

“That I’ll come to you when these thoughts return again. I should trust you by now, and I need to not let these emotions ruin everything in my life. I love you that much.

Your confession swelled the very last evidence of Katsuki being a human being, his heart.

He smiled weakly to himself and nuzzled more into your shoulder, brushing his warm lips against the tender skin. “You better, dumbass.”

-

Today was just so exhausting, and the big fat 'D-‘ written in red ink on your final report was the icing on the cake. To make things even worse, Aizawa reminded the whole class before the exam that this was to determine wether or not if you'll be joining the training camp that'll commence the following winter break.

Hopefully this was one of your teacher's terrible deception tactics into making everyone do their absolute best, go plus ultra even. But to your dismay, he was indeed very serious of the matter this time.

It wasn't your fault, not entirely. You stayed up all night listening to another one of your boyfriends rambles, the conversation lasting till 2 am. Izuku grew worrisome and anxious ever since his encounter with a gruesome villain, thus resulting in him to pour his emotions out onto you. Poor baby kept mentioning the safety of All Might and you.

Solemnly, you left class and trailed back to your dorm room, wanting to ignore the jovial atmosphere inside the cramped room as everyone traded and talked about their scores.

Izuku noticed you leaving abruptly and got up from his desk to follow you behind, bidding a quick goodbye to his friends.

Your room was dark and dramatically colder than usual, a trickle of light threatening to pour in from the cascading sunset. You laid down on your stomach with one of your pillows propped on your head, in hopes to shield away anyone from seeing your ugly-crying face.

Too late because Izuku was already standing outside your dorm room, swaying back and forth on his feet while biting down harshly on his lip. He can hear your soft cries seeping through the door. He doesn't know why he's hesitating, he's your boyfriend after all.

Moments later you hear the acute sounds of someone knocking on your door, followed by the soft spoken voice of your green haired boyfriend.

"Baby? Can I come in? I-If that's okay with you I m-mean! It's alright if you need some space but you left class so early I figured something happened to you and I got really worried because you always wait for Iida and uraraka to walk us back to the dorms as a group and maybe it had something to do with what I was telling you last night-."

You crack the door just a smidge before fully opening it, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained shirt to him. His breathing hitched once his eyes fixated on your disheveled state. 

"Can you comfort me? I need you right now Izuku," your voice cracked a little, throat still tight after the crying session.

His strong, lean arms wrapped around your body momentarily, encasing you into a bear hug. Hugs from Izuku were amazing, no exceptions. He placed a quick peck on the crown of your forehead.

"C'mon, let's get inside and snuggle. How does that sound?" he asked as he unwrapped himself and took your trembling hand, leading you back inside the dimly lit room.

Izuku laid you gently down on your side once reaching the bed, crawling alongside with you before  draping the covers over the both of you. His familiar hands snake around your waist and nudges you to roll over. You obliged and shifted your body to face his, sparkly green eyes staring straight at you.

"Tell me, what's wrong baby? Does it have to do with the recent exam?" his thumb started tracing delicate lines on your hips, your uniform long gone and now replaced with comfortable clothes instead.

"I failed Izuku...I did so terrible on the written exam. I kept falling in and out of sleep during the test that I didn't have time to finish the middle portion of it," you exhaled a shaky breath. "Who knows what'll happen on the practical. I'll probably fail that too...I'm such a failure compared to everyone."

Izuku grabbed the tender flesh of your cheeks and directed your vision to level with his. He looked angry and concerned.

"Don't say that y/n! You're not a failure! That exam doesn't determine wether or not if you're good enough to be a hero. I've seen you in action hun, and I know for a fact that you're possibly the most strongest person I've met in my lifetime! You're ambitious, smart, determined, and so freaking beautiful." He then kissed you tenderly on the lips, his eyes closing slightly due to the contact.

"So...freaking...beautiful." He whispers against your mouth.

His sentimental words were enough for you to push back the negativity and simply enjoy the intimate moment.

Izuku lifted his head away from your face to rest it against your temple. "You're going to do great things, okay? One failing grade isn't going to be the end of the world. Trust me sweetheart, I've had my fair share in failures during our time here in Yuuei. But look at me now, still standing."

You nuzzled more into his chest, tickling his chin with your hair. Faintly, you can hear the pitter patter of his heart beat bursting through his rib cage.

"Would you love me even if I was a horrendous looking-failure?" you were clearly teasing him, but sometimes Izuku became dense when it came to that.

"Y/n! W-Why would you ask that! Of course I would you dummy! I'd love you no matter what."

This time you return the favor and kiss him, knowing how to easily fluster him in seconds. He whimpers into your mouth at the sudden contact and cups your jawline affectionately.

The two of you stayed like that till the moon shone through the balcony curtains, illuminating your skin in a dusty glow.

Lips bruised and swollen red, you laid lifelessly in his arms, letting him wove his scarred fingers through your hair. Izuku would occasionally stop to peck your lips, then resumes his attention back to your hair.

"I'm sorry by the way. I shouldn't have kept you up last night before the exam. I'm such a horrible boyfriend..." he admitted suddenly.

"Yes. Yes you are."

He gasped and stopped his movements altogether, obviously taken aback by your blunt words.

You giggled and said, "Kidding. You're the best boyfriend. Apology accepted.”

After hearing that, Izuku shoved himself onto your chest and let out muffled cry. "D-Don't scare me like that. Almost made me have a heart a-attack!"

[writingwhimsey]

Lady Azuchi Ch. 2

Chapter 2

Nobunaga and the others returned to Azuchi by mid-morning. Hideyoshi was waiting at the gate to greet him, but his wife was not. "Where is Ava?" Nobunaga asked as soon as he reached him.

"She is still in bed." He answered.

"What is wrong?" Nobunaga asked concern evident in his tone.

"Apparently Ava has been sick this last week. She was hiding it from everyone well, except for her maid, Kinu. I wouldn't have known if not for yesterday when she passed out." Hideyoshi explained. "I apologize for not finding out sooner and making her see the castle doctor."

"What did the castle doctor say?" Nobunaga asked.

"That she has some stomach ailment and he gave her some medicine for it and it should help her within a couple of days. That she also needs plenty of rest."

"I see." Nobunaga said, he then recalled how she had been acting the day he left. She was clearly hiding it then, too. He dismounted his horse and handed the reins over to Hideyoshi, knowing that he would put the horse up for him so he could check on Ava.

"Where is he headed to in such a hurry?" Mitsuhide asked, as he ride up with Ieyasu and Masamune.

"To see Ava." Hideyoshi answered.

"She wasn't here to greet him with her tail wagging?" Mitsuhide asked.

"Perhaps she decided to cut out the meeting here and just skip straight to their reunion in their room." Masamune joked.

"She's ill." Hideyoshi interrupted.

"What symptoms has she had?" Ieyasu asked. "She overwork herself again?"

"I'm thinking that may have contributed to it." Hideyoshi answered. He then explained the illness and what the castle doctor had said.

"I'll have to see what he gave her and make sure there's not something better."

Ava...

I woke up to the feeling of someone running their fingers through my hair. "Huh?" I mumbled in my sleepy haze. I couldn't quite get my eyes to open completely. They were still quite heavy with sleep.

"I come home to find my wife ill. And to learn that she has been hiding this illness the entire time I've been gone. Possibly even before that."

My eyes popped open at the sound of that familiar deep voice. "Nobunaga."

He gave me a warm smile, though I could see the concern still in his eyes. "Why did you not tell anyone you were ill?"

"I didn't want to worry anyone." I answered. I was then pushing myself up into a sitting position. "How long have you been back?"

"I just returned. Hideyoshi greeted me at the gate and told me of your illness."

"I bet he ordered Kinu not to wake me either." I muttered. "He promised that if I felt okay this morning there was no reason I couldn't be there to greet you."

"That is likely what happened. Though I heard you fainted yesterday. Clearly your body needed the rest." He was then lifting his hand and placing it on my forehead in a gesture I had done to him once before. "You do not feel feverish. How are you feeling today?"

"I am feeling okay at the moment." I answered. "A bit of a headache and slight unease in my stomach, but other than that I am alright."

"Kinu brought some rice porridge up for you. She said she mixed in the herbs the doctor gave you already. You should probably eat it." Nobunaga told me. "Having something should help settle your stomach."

I nodded. I was still going through my mental list of how I wanted to tell Nobunaga the news. He was then setting the tray in front of me and picking up the soup spoon for me. "Are you...feeding me?" I asked.

"I have to make sure you actually eat." Nobunaga answered.

"And here I thought I was going to be punished for calling you an ogre." I replied.

"That only comes if you are feeling well enough, later." Nobunaga answered. "Now eat."

"Alright." I agreed opening my lips. He then put the spoon in my mouth.

Nobunaga continued to feed me. Once the porridge was gone, I could feel my stomach settling down. "You seem to be alright after that." He observed.

"Yes, I think the herbs are helping." I answered.

Nobunaga leaned his forehead against mine and brought his hand to cup my cheek. His thumb gently stroked my cheek. "I am glad you are feeling a bit better...though I wish I could stay with you, but I have matters I have to attend to before the banquet tonight."

"You mean you came straight here to see me?" I asked.

"When I learned my wife was ill, I had to come. There is no greater treasure to me than you."

"I'll be alright." I told him. "I have Kinu to help me should I need anything."

Nobunaga kissed my forehead. "I will be back to get ready for the banquet with you, though if you are not feeling up to it, we can stay here tonight."

"Do you really think you can get out of going to your own banquet?" I teased. "And I am feeling much better. I will be there. I am feeling much better."

Nobunaga smiled and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. "Just rest and take care of yourself until I get back."

"Alright." I agreed. I wanted to stop him and tell him that I wasn't sick. Tell him the good news, but I knew I couldn't right now. Not when he had other things he had to attend to. Maybe I could tell him when he came back to get ready for the banquet.

We shared another tender kiss before he left. Kinu was soon attending to me and helping me get ready for the day. Though I was still under orders to rest and take it easy. I decided to go through my sewing basket. I found the perfect fabric and found the perfect color combinations and got to work.

When it got closer to sunset, I put my sewing notions away and got up to head to the dresser. I pulled out the kimono and obi I would wear for the banquet tonight and started to remove my night robes.

Nobunaga returned just as I was finishing getting dressed. "I take it you are feeling well enough to come to the banquet?" He asked me, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me.

"Yes, the herbs have settled my stomach and I don't have a headache anymore." I answered. Do I tell him now? How do I tell him? I thought as I looked at our reflection in the mirror. His arms were at my waist, just hovering over the child growing there, the one our created.

"You look exceptionally happy at the moment." He said, kissing my cheek.

"I'm always happy when I'm in your arms." I replied, not sure I was ready to tell him, still unable to find the words. I could always just blurt it out, but that's not what I want to do. I want to find some special way to tell him.

"I am always happy to have you in my arms as well." He told me. "Perhaps we should skip the banquet and we'll spend the evening with you here...minus your clothes."

I giggled. "You and I both know if we don't go Hideyoshi will come here looking for you." I replied. "Besides you're always talking about how these banquets are good for morale."

"True...I will just have to boost my own morale after the banquet." He said, running his hands down my stomach and over my thighs before coming back to my rear and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Nothing says we can't leave early...just make an appearance." I replied, feeling a bit breathless. How is it your touch always does that to me? I thought. You can make me into a puddle so easily...well that would be how I ended up pregnant.

We parted, Nobunaga taking my hand and then we headed to the main hall for the banquet. We arrived and found everyone waiting for us.

"Well, it looks like I lost the bet." Mitsuhide greeted us.

"I knew the lass would show up. Nothing can keep her down for long." Masamune replied. "Now pay up."

"You were betting on my health?" I asked, looking at the pair of them.

"Well, when you weren't waiting at the gate for Lord Nobunaga with your tail wagging, I thought you must be quite ill." Mitsuhide teased, as he reached into his robes and passed some coins to Masamune.

"I am not a puppy."

"I think that's enough Mitsuhide. Ava has only just recovered. It was just yesterday she fainted." Hideyoshi said.

"You know, you don't have to tell him that." I replied, my face reddening further.

"And here you just added to it." Mitsuhide said looking at Hideyoshi. "Look at at how red she grows."

"Enough from all of you." Nobunaga spoke up. He then put an arm around me, almost possessively. "If anyone will be making my wife's cheeks turn red, it will be me."

You're so cute when you get jealous. I thought as I looked at my handsome husband. I felt him pulling me towards the dais where we took our seats.

Soon the food was brought out and the sake began flowing. I noticed that the food set before me was much simpler and lighter than what everyone else was eating. I felt grateful and so did my stomach. While the herbs were helping, the idea of eating the heavier foods just made my stomach churn.

I turned to Nobunaga and looked at him a question in my eyes. "Did you make sure that I had some lighter food?" I asked.

"I spoke to Masamune and asked him to make you something different." He replied.

I smiled. "Thank you." He was always so thoughtful of me and caring for me. We didn't start out this way, but I loved it and was grateful for how he was with me.

"Hey, I am the one who cooked you that food. Don't I get some thanks?" Masamune spoke up having been listening.

"Yes, thank you Masamune." I replied with a smile.

"That's more like it." Masamune replied. "Though it wasn't easy making sure to get the flavors right, what with the medicinal herbs Ieyasu was giving me to put in them."

I looked over at Ieyasu surprised. "You contributed, too?"

"Well, I spoke with the doctor to know what he gave you and while it will help, it will take longer to help you fully recover." He said. "And it's not like I did it to help you. I just know that everyone else will be too worried about you if you're ill."

I smiled happy to have so many people who cared about me. Just wait till they all find out I'm pregnant. I thought. Oh and then when the baby gets here, they will all be like the best most overprotective uncles.

"Thank you anyways." I said to Ieyasu. I knew despite what he said that he actually cared.

There was plenty of talking and laughing through the rest of the party. It got even stronger as the sake flowed. Naturally I did not partake of any. I kept with water and tea, knowing that the sake wouldn't be good for the baby.

Part way through the party Nobunaga, stood up and took my hand. "Come, walk with me." He said, pulling me up.

"Okay." I said, wondering what he had on his mind. He led me out of the hall but not towards our room in the tenshu. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Somewhere we can be alone." He answered. "And get some fresh air."

He led me out to the garden. "I noticed you were not drinking any sake, tonight." He told me, looking up at the moon and stars in the sky. "Are you still trying to hide how ill you feel?" He then turned to me his eyes showing nothing but concern.

I shook my head. I guess now is as good a time as any to tell him. "No, I am feeling fine. Really."

"Then what is it?" Nobunaga asked.

"Sake isn't good for the baby." I answered.

His eyes widened in surprise. "What did you just say?"

"It's not good for the baby." I repeated. Then I took his hand and placed it over my stomach and looked meaningfully into his eyes. "Our baby."

Nobunaga's gaze gentled and a tender smile came to his face. "You are with child?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"You are full of surprises." He said and then placed his fingers beneath my chin and pulled my lips to his for a sweet kiss.

I smiled up at him when we broke the kiss. "Is it really that much of a surprise?" I asked my tone teasing. "I mean it is the natural occurrence of what happens when a couple spends so much time in bed together."

Nobunaga chuckled and leaned his forehead against mine, his hand still resting on my belly. "You do have a point...so this is why you have been feeling ill?"

"Yes." I answered.

"I should have put the symptoms together and guessed as much." Nobunaga replied. "That and you are radiating warmth even more than usual."

I smiled. "So...you are happy with the news?"

"Of course." He replied. "What could be a happier occasion than finding out the woman I love carries my child?"

I smiled. "Good."

A devilish grin flashed across his face then and he scooped me up in his arms. I let out a squeal of delight. "What are you up to?" I asked.

"Just thinking we should go have a private celebration, in our room." Nobunaga answered. He then kissed me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer. When we broke the kiss, I smiled. "I like the sound of that."

Just as Nobunaga was turning towards to tenshu, Hideyoshi and the other war lords were coming out. "Where are you going?"

"Ava was feeling faint, so we are heading back to our room where I will be tending to her for the rest of the evening." Nobunaga answered Hideyoshi. His tone was one that left no room for questioning. He was then taking me to the tenshu, leaving the other war lords with a questioning look on their faces.

"I didn't think Ava looked like she was feeling ill at all." Hideyoshi said. "Other than not touching her sake, she seemed like she was much herself."

"Oh, I think she was feeling quite well and that's exactly why they were heading to their room." Mitsuhide said. "It's quite obvious."

"What do you mean?" Mitsunari asked, clueless.

"It's nothing you need to worry about." Hideyoshi said with a sigh. "And Mitsuhide, you need to not say things like that."

"You know I speak the truth. No need for you to protect their modesty or anything. Especially when our lord isn't afraid to show how he really feels for his wife."

"Still just shut it, will you."

In the tenshu...

Nobunaga had carried me all the way to our room and hadn't put me down until we were at the futon. His hands made quick work of removing my obi and my robes. My hands sought him just as hungrily as his sought me.

We were a tangle of limbs as we explored each other. Nobunaga was gentle as he touched me and placed kisses over my body. His fingers, lips, teeth, and tongue stimulated me until my body was alight with need and just when I couldn't stand it anymore, he entered me, filling me and bringing me over the edge.

When we finished, Nobunaga fell back into the futon and pulled me to him, holding me close. "Now this is how a man likes being welcomed home." He said, his voice teasing.

I smiled. "Speaking of...welcome home."

"Coming home to you...and then getting the news that you are carrying my child...coming home has never been sweeter." He then placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and then he leaned down and placed a kiss on my stomach. "I love both of you."

There was no way to stop the smile that came to my face nor the surge of happiness I felt. While I imagined that he might want to share our good news with everyone else tonight, I was glad that we had the night to celebrate just the two of us.

The next day after waking up, we ate breakfast and got dressed for the day. We headed to the main hall and Nobunaga called a meeting of his war lords. We sat waiting as they all piled in, curious looks on their faces, wondering what this meeting was about.

Once they were all assembled, Hideyoshi, Masamune, Mitsuhide, Ieyasu, and Mitsunari, they all looked at us expectantly. "Thank you all for coming so quickly." Nobunaga greeted. "We have a matter of utmost importance to discuss."

"What is it, my lord?" Hideyoshi asked. "Is it Kenshin and Shingen? Or another enemy? We will strike them down immediately."

"I have no such reports from my sources of any of our enemies moving." Mitsuhide spoke up. "I believe our recent victories have scared several of them off."

"Calm yourselves, it is nothing to do with our enemies." Nobunaga spoke up. "No this is a more personal matter, but still quite important."

Everyone was quiet then. Giving Nobunaga their full attention. I was having a hard time not bursting out laughing. He knew how to play them all, giving such a serious and commanding look. Oh, I just can't wait till they find out. I thought, trying my best to keep from smiling.

"Last night, Ava gave me some important news. I believe I shall let her deliver it." He said.

"Important news?" Hideyoshi asked.

"And what could our little seamstress have found out that none of the rest of us are aware of?" Mitsuhide asked, amusement evident on his face.

"You involved in some plot we don't know about, lass? Our lord give you a secret mission?" Masamune teased.

"Because such a weakling could be trusted with something." Ieyasu said in an annoyed tone.

"I think Ava is much more capable than we all think. She has proven quite useful in tending to the wounded during battle as well as a skilled seamstress. Her joining the castle seamstresses has only added to the orders and helping the economy of Azuchi continue to grow." Mitsunari spoke up.

"Awe, thank you Mitsunari." I said. "But if the rest of you would shut up, I might actually be able to tell you. Tell you all about something none of you can do and only I can."

The room fell silent at my words then. I smiled pleased that I had managed to shut them up. "As you are all aware, I have been ill these last few days, but...that is not really the case."

Their eyes looked at me with questions. Hideyoshi couldn't help but to speak up. "But I saw you faint."

"What I mean is that I'm not really ill." I said. "I am...with child."

I am certain I heard their jaws hitting the floor. Mitsunari was the only one whose jaw wasn't on the ground, he wore a warm and happy smile. "Congratulations! That is wonderful news." He said.

"That is not what I was expecting." Mitsuhide said, seeming to recover from his surprise. "Though I am not sure what I was expecting."

Masamune smiled and then let out a laugh. "Should have known that this news would be coming soon, with as much time as you two spend alone in the evenings...and your late mornings."

I felt my face getting red just then. Nobunaga laughed beside me. He then wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close to him. "Now, that you all know, I expect your cooperation in keeping my wife and unborn child safe." He said. "Now, Hideyoshi, Ieyasu, I want you two to assist in finding the best midwife to care for Ava during her pregnancy."

"Of course, my lord." Hideyoshi said with a bow.

"It's a pain, but alright." Ieyasu agreed.

"Just as long as they aren't picking one without me. I am the one who is pregnant after all. I think I should find someone I am comfortable with." I said, looking at Nobunaga.

Nobunaga looked at me and smiled. "I should have known you would say something like that. Of course, you will pick whomever you see fit...but with their assistance. They can help you get the word out for what you need and Ieyasu's medical training should help make sure we find someone who knows what they are doing."

"And don't worry, I'll make sure the lass gets plenty to eat." Masamune spoke up, already having a guess as to what his orders could be. "I'll help fatten you up in no time, Ava." He then winked at me.

"Oh that will be interesting to see." Mitsuhide said. "I imagine you'll look quite adorable as your belly swells...waddling about the castle."

I let out a groan. "I am not your entertainment you know."

"Oh, but you're so amusing and so easy...I think you're about to be even more fun. I hear pregnant women get worked up quite easily."

Without thinking about it, I stood up and walked over to Mitsuhide and smacked him upside the head. "I said I'm not your entertainment."

Everyone looked at me stunned, even Nobunaga was surprised, but then he began to laugh as Mitsuhide looked up at me stunned. "My, my." He mused, then looked at Nobunaga. "It appears having your child in her belly has made her even feistier than usual."

"My fireball." Nobunaga said, looking at me with a fond yet amused smile.

I let out another groan. though Nobunaga calling me his fireball did make me smile.

"Would you really expect anything less from the woman who shoved me away her first night here?" Nobunaga said.

"A good point." Mitsuhide agreed.

"You really should watch your silver tongue, Mitsuhide." Hideyoshi said. "Ava is our Lord's wife, making her our lady...and we shouldn't aggravate her in her condition."

"I am pregnant not an invalid...and besides why would you all start treating me any differently now?" I asked. I was then taking my seat by Nobunaga back.

"That is not all I have to ask you." Nobunaga said. "As I mentioned, I want your help protecting Ava and our child. See to it she always has a guard with her when she is outside the castle. Whether that is one of you or one of your vassals."

The room rang out with all of them saying, "Yes my lord."

"Is that really necessary?" I asked, looking at Nobunaga.

"Once word gets out that you are pregnant, my enemies will see your value as a hostage increasing. It is just a precaution." He told me.

His words made perfect sense given the times we were in. Though I was already hating the idea of not being able to go anywhere outside the castle alone. But I know he just wanted to keep me and our baby safe.

Nobunaga placed a hand on my cheek. "I only want to keep you both safe. If anything were to happen to you..."

"I know." I replied, leaning into his touch.

I heard Hideyoshi let out an awkward cough. Masamune let out a whistle and Mitsuhide let out an amused laugh. Ieyasu let out a disgruntled sigh and Mitsunari just wore a happy smile. Though there was the shock and the teasing, I could tell they were all happy for us and that they would be happy to help keep the baby and I safe.

You're going to have some very protective and powerful uncles. I thought as I looked down at my stomach, my hand resting there. Nobunaga brought his hand to rest there as well. I couldn't believe how happy I felt. I was married to the love of my life and now I was having his baby and we had our friends sharing in that happiness.

Read Chapter 3 below!

https://writingwhimsey.tumblr.com/post/659725379771252736/lady-of-azuchi-ch-3

[reidingandwriting]

So This is Love...

Word Count: ~1,750 words

Ship: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Language, mention of ECT (it’s hard to explain out of context, but nothing detailed!!), and awkward!!reader

A/N: Soooo, this is my first Criminal Minds fic!! And my first fanfic in a while but we’re not going to talk about that. I’ve just started binge watching the series and I absolutely fell in love with all of the characters, especially our boy wonder, Dr. Spencer Reid. This fic plays out a bit different than the episode but this takes place during the episode where JJ and Will get married 🤍

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” The wedding officiant spoke as he stepped away, and the crowd in Rossi’s backyard began to cheer and clap as JJ and Will finished their ceremony with a kiss. You stood beside Hotch and smiled, your eyes tearful as the duo walked down the aisle formed with hanging lights and flower petals- white roses to be exact. You felt someone’s eyes lingering on you and you glanced over to where Spencer stood. “I’m okay,” you mouthed when you saw the concerned look in his eyes. Spencer’s eyes crinkled as he smiled and you couldn’t help but return the gesture, and you only looked away when Derek nudged Spencer with a knowing look on his face. Aaron’s hand rested on your shoulder and you looked up at him, grateful for the distraction from the teasing you know you’d be subjected to after much longer.

“We should go take a seat for the reception.” There was a hint of a smile on Hotch’s face. God, you hated profilers. “Unless you want to keep longingly staring at Reid.”

“I was not longingly staring. He was checking on me, like a good friend. You should try it sometime.” There was no true malice behind your words and Hotch knew that. You walked together towards the tables where everyone else had gathered and took a seat as Rossi started a toast.

“They say that good things happen to good people. And today is one of those days. And these are two of those people.” Dave tilted his champagne flute towards Will and JJ. “We love you.”

“Cheers.” Everyone clinked glasses and celebrated the marriage of two of your close friends through drinks, memories, and laughter.

------

“What’s on your mind, pretty boy?” Derek asked as he stood beside Spencer. Spencer had been standing off to the side as he watched everyone else on the dance floor. Derek had just managed to break away from Penelope who was now dancing with Hotch, her head thrown back as she laughed. Rossi was with Emily, the smiles on their faces resembling a father and daughter’s as they danced across the dance floor. JJ was with Will, both of them looking off towards you. Of course they were, Spencer thought as he saw you. Henry was wrapped in your arms, rested against your waist, and you swayed with him. Yours and Henry’s laughter echoed through the backyard as you dipped him down, and his little hands latched onto your arms. One of your hands was tucked under his head securely, and you kissed his head as you stood back up straight.

“So, that’s what’s on your mind. Or who, more like.”

“Shut up, Morgan.” Reid mumbled as Derek laughed, which caused you and Henry to look in his direction. “Great, now they’re looking at us.”

“Is that a bad thing? You’ve been staring at her, so I think it’s fair.” Morgan said as you set Henry down, which led to Henry running to Spencer.

“Uncle Spencer!” Henry rushed over and crashed into Spencer’s legs. Spencer let out an “oof” before he knelt down to Henry’s level.

“Hey, Henry!” Spencer grinned as Henry started to ramble about you and him dancing together, and Derek took his leave. Little did Spencer know, you were watching him with the same look he was watching you with not even minutes prior.

------

“You should ask him to dance with you.” Emily offered a flute of champagne and you accepted it with a “thanks.”

“He doesn’t really seem like he wants to. I don’t think I’ve seen him dancing yet. And it’s gonna be hard to beat Henry’s dance skills.” You winked as you took a sip of champagne, and Emily laughed.

“If you won’t dance with him, you should come dance with the rest of us. Rossi won’t rest until he dances with all of his children.” Emily took your hand and led you to the dance floor, where you both began to dance. Throughout the night, you danced with everyone on your team. Hotch was after Emily, and Garcia took you from him. You then danced with Morgan who spun you over to Rossi.

“The man of the hour. Papà Italiano.” You curtsied before you stepped into Rossi’s arms, and he led the two of you as you danced.

“Mi figlia.” Rossi smiled.

“I’m impressed. You managed to put together a pretty awesome wedding with barely any time. Remind me to let you plan all of my parties.” You teased and Dave laughed as he twirled you.

“I’ll even give you the favorite child discount.”

“Favorite?” You gasped and held your hand against your chest. “I’m honored. I can’t wait to tell Spence he’s not your favorite child.”

“Speaking of our boy genius,” Rossi started and you cut him off with a groan. “What? I was just going to say you two haven’t spent much time together tonight. Usually you two are attached at the hip.”

“Everyone’s been trying to set us up all day today.” You admitted. “And I don’t know. He’s my best friend.” And I’m in love with him, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship if he doesn’t feel the same for me. Which he probably doesn’t, so why put myself out there and face the inevitable rejection when I can pine after him from here?

“Do you always think out loud when you’re nervous?” There was a sparkle in Rossi’s eyes and your cheeks burned. Shit.

“You can’t-”

“I won’t say anything.” You sighed and your shoulders sagged in relief.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Y/N.” You looked over towards Spencer, who had been roped into dancing with Penelope. “You can talk to him.”

“Wait, what? Rossi!” Penelope and Rossi maneuvered a switch- Penelope was now with Dave while you stumbled into Spencer. “Hi.”

“Hi. I’m sorry for,” Spencer waved his hand in the air, “this.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s just me. And you. Two friends, dancing. Like everyone else.” Okay, Y/N, shut up now.

“Yeah.” Spencer seemed to deflate a little. “Just like everyone else.” The music playing suddenly changed from upbeat to a slow song, and if looks could kill, Emily and Derek would have dropped dead by the DJ’s booth where they now stood with smug smiles on their faces.

“Do you want to dance with me?” You blurted out at the same time Spencer spoke.

“You don’t have to dance with me.” Spencer’s cheeks turned pink when he heard what you had said.

“I, uh, haven’t danced in a long time. I might step on your toes a lot.” You bit your lip and Spencer smiled that smile that made your heart melt. That smile that could get him whatever he wanted from you.

“I think we can manage.” Spencer took your hand in his and twirled you into him, and you wrapped your free arm around his shoulder while his wrapped around your waist, and his hand rested on your hip. “Is this okay?” You didn’t trust your voice to be steady, so you nodded. His eyes met yours and you couldn’t look away. The music took control and the pair of you began to dance. Neither of you spoke as you danced, and you lowered your head to rest against his shoulder. The smell of his cologne, along with the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, enveloped your senses and you looked up at your best friend.

“I’m sorry for dodging you until now.” Spencer hummed but let you continue to speak. “It feels like everyone’s been pushing for us to be together and no one really cared to listen to what we wanted. Especially today, since it’s a wedding and ‘love is in the air.’”

“And what do you want, Y/N?” Spencer asked and you felt your chest tighten and your heart began to race.

“I want you.” Spencer froze at your words.

“You… what?” There was an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes and you began to backtrack.

“No, no, no, I didn’t finish. I, I wanted you to know that before electroconvulsive therapy was used to treat mental illness, they actually used insulin shock therapy for schizophrenia. Patients would be injected with so much insulin they’d fall into a coma for weeks at a time. And they weren’t really conscious, so psychiatrists would call it successful for treating their patients. But it proved to be too dangerous, with brain damage and even death, so they started using ECT instead.” Spencer took a step back at the end of your rambling and the look on his face pained you.

“Thank you for the dance, Y/N, but I should go.” Spencer started to walk away and you panicked. It’s now or never, Y/N.

“Wait!” When Spencer turned back towards you, you gripped his jacket, pulled him into you, and pressed your lips against his. You pulled back when Spencer hesitated. “I’m sorry, I should have asked before I just-” You were cut off as Spencer’s lips met yours again and his hands cupped your cheeks. You relaxed under his touch and in that moment, it was only you and him. You broke the kiss a minute later, your cheeks flushed and breath labored.

“Yeah! Get some, pretty boy!” Derek called out and the two of you laughed, and you shook your head.

“I’m going to kill him. And I am going to enjoy it.” You muttered and Spencer shook his head, a playful smile on his lips.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you did say you wanted me.” You glared at Spencer who raised his hands in mock defense. “If it makes you feel any better, I kind of told Morgan earlier that I was in love with you.”

“And Morgan told Garcia,” you started.

“Who told Emily.”

“And I told Rossi.”

“Who told Hotch.” Spencer finished.

“And they all felt the need to give us a gentle, totally subtle push in the right direction.” You chuckled and Spencer nodded as he brushed a strand of hair out of your face.

“We’re getting them back, right?”

“Oh, totally. But first.” You wrapped your arms around Spencer and began to dance with him again as the music sounded throughout the backyard.

So this is love, mmm

So this is love

And now I know (and now I know)

The key to all heaven is mine

So this is the miracle

That I've been dreaming of...

I didn’t know if I should tag my Marvel taglist so I’ll be tagging @spidey-reids-2003 and @ssa-sugar-tits 🥺 If you want to be added/removed from my Marvel, Criminal Minds, or any taglist, let me know!! Requests are open but will be completed slowly until I settle into my new school and routine 💕

This reader was written as a fem!reader but future fics will be neutral and physical descriptors will not be used unless absolutely necessary/requested ❤️

[fics-of-culture]

Nightmares and Angels

Requested by anonymous

Summary: The littlest Winchester has been experiencing hallucinations and nightmares of her brothers covered in blood. Can a certain whiskey eyed angel come to the rescue?

Words: 2,123

Warnings: Blood, Hallucinations, Nightmares. Reader has PTSD. Possible misrepresentation of mental illness. (I personally don’t have many experiences with PTSD or hallucinations so take everything here with a grain of salt.) 

It was late. And you found yourself milling around the bunker. Again. Trying to find anything to occupy your time with in order to avoid going back to your room. You were positive that if you went to bed you’d have nightmares. You’d been having them a lot recently. Along with some other... issues that you’d yet to address. Today had been especially difficult for you in that regard. Your older brother Dean had been in the kitchen making dinner when you had another one of your ‘attacks’ as you called them. 

“You want bacon on your burger?” Dean turned away from the veggies he’d been chopping to face you. You were seated at the kitchen table, nose buried in a book and just enjoying your brother's company when he had asked. Being caught off guard by the question, you let out a little ‘huh?’ “The burger.” Dean repeated. “You want bacon on it or- Ah shit!” He exclaimed suddenly. You stood from your chair to check on your brother when you saw it. A steady trail of red streamed from his thumb onto the cutting board. Apparently Dean had nicked his finger while he was distracted. You froze in place. Images flashed rapidly before you as Dean grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding. You watched in horror as the blood seeped through the towel. Slowly, it continued to spread until it was running as a steady steam down his arm pooling around his shoes. You took an unsteady step back, priming yourself to run out the door when a pair of fingers snapped in front of you. Dean was staring at you with concern. Hand wrapped in a towel completely devoid of blood. “I said can you get me a bandaid?” Dean asked. Watching you curiously as you stood there. Shaking off your latest trance, you gave Dean a sharp nod before turning to locate your first aid kit.

It wasn’t always like this. Some days were just worse than others. You had gotten so accustomed to seeing your brothers steeped in blood that you had started to see it even when it wasn’t there. Your brothers didn’t know about this. No one did. And you intended to keep it that way. They always looked as though they had the weight of the world on their shoulders and you couldn't bear to stress them out more with your personal problems. You sighed as you wandered into the kitchen. It was empty now. Your brothers had gone to bed hours ago, meaning you could roam around freely without your brothers worrying about why you were up so late. Knowing you’d be awake for a while longer, you decided to brew some coffee. You were pouring yourself a steaming cup of coffee when you heard wings flap behind you.

“Is that for me? Oh sweetheart, you shouldn’t have.” Gabriel speaks in your ear as his arms wrap around you to pull the cup out of your hand. You roll your eyes as you turn to face him. You cross your arms as you stare at the angel who has been your best friend since he’d been ‘brought back to life’. A smug smirk graced his lips as he kept your beverage from you.

“Gabe, that drink does not have nearly enough sugar for it to be for you.” You sass him as you reach out to take your cup back, but he continues to withhold it from you. 

“I’ll tell you what, you give me a little sugar right now and you’ll get this drink back.” You cross your arms and groan in annoyance as the mischievous angel taps a finger to his cheek. “Come on hon, one little kiss and I’ll stop buggin’ ya. Besides, I’ve been gone for weeks! Don’t you wanna welcome me home?” It is true that he had been gone for quite a while. He and Cas had been working overtime in heaven trying to keep the lights on. Uncrossing your arms, you sigh in mock defeat as you step closer to give your favorite angel a kiss on the cheek. He lets out a dramatic gasp as you give him a quick peck. You turn your face slightly to hide the blush spreading on your cheeks. If Gabriel notices your sudden bashfulness, he doesn’t say anything.

“You only get a kiss because I did miss you.” You mutter quietly. Gabe gives you a soft, genuine smile. “Now can I have my drink back?” You raise your arms and make little grabby motions with your hands as you wait for Gabe to give your drink back.

“Hell no!” He basically shouts, showing no concern for the other sleeping tenants of the bunker. He swiftly raises his right hand and snaps the coffee out of existence. Your arms fall to your sides as you regard your friend with a look of betrayal. You open your mouth to whine at him before being quickly cut off. “You have any idea what time it is, sugar? You don’t need coffee. You need sleep.”

“You promised you’d give it back.” You said, giving Gabriel your best pout. Maybe your patented Winchester puppy dog eyes would distract the angel from the lateness of the hour.

“Honey.” Gabriel’s voice was suddenly lacking that playful tone from before. “I know you and the rest of the mystery gang are used to burning the midnight oil, but you need to take care of yourself. Are you guys even on a case right now?”

“No.” You muttered quietly. “But!”

“But nothin’ sweetheart. You gotta go to bed. Unless there's something you’re not telling me?” Gabriel had suspected that something had been up with you for a while, but damn if you weren’t a tough cookie to crack. You just huffed out a little sigh before saying goodnight to Gabriel and heading to your room. You were certainly not interested in explaining your lack of sleep to Gabe. You figured that you could probably get away with loading up Netflix on your laptop and staying up a bit longer, but Gabe was right. You desperately needed sleep. Chuck knows you’d been lacking it for the past couple weeks. You resign yourself to your fate as you get ready for bed. Maybe with Gabe in the bunker, the dreams won’t be so bad you think to yourself as your eyes slide closed.

-

Sam was suddenly woken to the sound of your screams. His bedroom being situated directly across from yours gave him the benefit of being the first one to hear your destress. In less than a second, your brother sprung up from his bed, blankets violently tossed to the side as he rushed toward your room. Once he was in the hall, he shouted once for Dean, but didn’t linger to wait for him. Instead, Sam burst into your room, shotgun in hand. Expecting some sort of intruder, Sam was caught off guard when all he found was you screaming and writhing blindly on your mattress. 

“Y/N!” Sam shouted your name as he rushed to your side. Jostling your shoulder in order to wake you, your brother watched in horror as your eyes opened suddenly, falling upon his face. Instead of his presence soothing you as he thought it would, you instead jerked away from his touch and let out a scream of what he could only describe as haunting despair. From your perspective, you weren’t seeing your sweet brother Sammy as you normally would. Instead, you watched as your brother’s face was covered in blood and contorted in anguish. Desperate to get away from this haunting image, you pulled away from his grasp and pinned yourself to the headboard of the bed. As far away from your concerned brother as possible. Vaguely you recognized that he was speaking to you, but you couldn’t pull away from your panic long enough to hear him. All you could do was stare at the blood pouring down his face, repeatedly jerking away from him each time he tried to touch you or otherwise get near you. A few moments later, you were curled into a ball on your bed when the door swung open once more. It was Dean. He stood there staring at you with a worried expression similar to Sam’s, apparently having heard the ruckus you’d made. But you couldn’t focus on that. All you could see was the copious amounts of blood dripping from what appeared to be a stab wound right where his heart was. Just like when Sam approached, you jerked away from Dean when he got near you. You were unable to do anything in this moment other than tremble and sob at the horrific images of your bloodied brothers before you. You truly tried to calm yourself, but nothing seemed to soothe you. And the presence of your brothers were just making your stress worse. You couldn’t get the picture of your blood soaked brothers out of your head. Subconsciously, you desperately cried out to the only being you thought might be able to save you. You didn’t even register the new presence in your room until you felt the bed dip. Your head jerked up, frantically searching for the new intruder when you saw Gabe. He wasn’t covered in blood or half dead. He was just your Gabriel. You let out a little cry of relief when you saw him. Instantly moving to crawl into his lap for comfort.

“Hey hon, what’s going on?” You hear him whisper as he wraps his arms around you. From your spot in his lap, you couldn’t see the confusion and worry on his face as he tried to figure out what was happening.

“I can’t- I can’t make them stop!” Your voice sounds pathetic to you as you speak frantically. Gabe runs his hand through his hair, not entirely sure what to do. 

“What’re you talking about? What won’t stop?” His hand falls to your head and he lets his fingers card through your hair as you whimper into his chest.

“The hallucinations! I can’t make them go away.” With your head buried in his chest, you don’t see the grim look Gabriel sends your brothers. Your brothers turn to share a look as if to say ‘Did you know about this?’

“What’re you seeing?” He turns his attention back to you. He kept his voice gentle as he spoke to you, not wanting to spook you more than you already are.

“Sam and Dean. Covered in blood. Oh God make it stop.” The trickster was positive he felt his heart break when you said this. He knew you’d been having some sort of problem that you weren’t sharing with him, but he never imagined it was anything this severe. And according to the shocked looks on your brother’s faces, they hadn’t known either. He sucks in a breath and steadies himself, wanting to be confident for you.

“Look again.” He speaks calmly. And you pull away to look him in the eyes for the first time since he arrived. You let out  a little ‘what?’ He’s patient as he speaks to you. “Look at your brothers again. It’ll be okay. I promise.” Hesitantly you do as he says. You turn your head to look at Sam and Dean as they stand helplessly in the corner of your room. Clearly unsure how to help you. To your shock, they looked completely normal. A little ruffled from getting out of bed so suddenly, but they didn’t have a speck of blood on them.

“Ho-how?” You can’t wrap your head around the sudden change. 

“A little angel magic. As long as I’m here, you won’t have to worry about those pesky images.” You let out a little sob as you hugged him with renewed vigor. Gabe cuddled into bed with you and when you seemed calm enough, your brothers left the two of you alone. Dean was grumbling a bit about leaving his little sister alone with the trickster but Sam just shoved him out of the room. You were sure that they were going to have a long talk with you tomorrow, but for now they seemed content to just let you relax.

“Gabriel?” He let out a distracted ‘hmm?’ as his fingers continued to comb through your hair.

“Stay with me tonight?” You spoke so quietly that if Gabe hadn’t been an angel, he wasn’t sure he would’ve heard you.

“Anything for you, sweets.” The two of you made your way under the covers. You laid your head on Gabriel’s chest and slowly allowed yourself to succumb to sleep. Knowing that for the first time in months, you would be getting a peaceful sleep.

[mrsalwayswrite]

To Call Forth Love (Modern!Ivar x OC) Chapter 1

So I recently joined the Vikings fandom (better late than never, right?) and could not get this one-shot out of my head. This is my first time writing for Vikings and writing Ivar. Let me know what you think. 

Also a huge shout-out to @saritanotserena​ for helping me with the moodboard. You are the best, babe! 

Words: 4300

Warnings: mild swearing, mild sexual content, mild angst?

Series Masterlist

 "I'm going to get something to drink!" Kari yelled into the ear of her friend, Alana, hoping she could hear it over the deafening music blasting from the nearby speakers. 

 Alana nodded, ignoring the brunette in lieu of the man who had his hands on her hips and cock grinding against her ass. 

 Without waiting further, Kari squeezed her way through the crowd on the club's dance floor and towards where their table was. For the umpteenth time, she tried to tug down the short, skin-tight black dress over her thighs, unsuccessful in covering the vast amount of skin showing. Even if Alana told her it looked fine and to stop worrying, it still made her personally self-conscious. Right now, she would much rather be at her shared townhouse eating popcorn and binge watching a show or reading one of her new books, comfortable in yoga pants and a soft sweatshirt with preferably no bra. Definitely no bra if she had a choice. But no, she had used up all the valid excuses she could conjure and now had to pay the devil his dues. Or in this case, go out clubbing with her friends. 

 Quickly, she made her way to the table and plopped down in a chair, reaching for the bottled water she was smart enough to bring this time. She ignored the couple sticking their tongues down each other's throat on the other side of the table as she took a sip of the water. Yes, she had told Alana she needed a drink but mostly she just wanted a break. She never wore heels unless for special occasions and with all the dancing she had been forced to endure amongst the mass of sweaty bodies, her feet and ankles were killing her. 

 She peeked at her phone, seeing the late hour and wondering if she could use it as an excuse to leave. She knew her friends planned to stay longer, or leave soon with company for the night. Perhaps no one would notice if she snuck away, feigning exhaustion or some illness. 

 As if sensing her thoughts, a voice called out to her from the other side of the table. "Don't even think about it."

 Kari looked up, meeting the narrowed, brown eyes of her friend across the table from her. "Rach…."

 "No, don't you, 'Rach' me." She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at Kari. "I see you, and you are trying to figure out how to leave. It's not happening. You know the deal."

 "Please? It's getting late and there is no one here…"

 "Bullshit. Quite trying to make excuses. You agreed to the deal and you can't leave until you fulfill your side of the bargain and you bet your ass I'm watching." She leaned back against her boyfriend, brushing a few strands of blonde hair behind her ear. 

 Kari grumbled under her breath. "Doubt it. You've been trying to eat each other's faces the whole time."

 "What was that?"

 "Nothing."

 "What is the deal she agreed to?" Seth asked smugly, arms wrapped around Rachel's waist and laying soft kisses over her exposed shoulders and neck. 

 "Before Kari leaves tonight, she has to make-out with someone...and not just a quick peck either. Full. On. Snogging." Rachel answered with a mischievous glint in her eyes and a crooked smile. 

 Kari dropped her face in her hands, groaning. She knew there was a snowball's chance in hell that Rachel would have forgotten about what Kari reluctantly agreed to but still…. she had hoped. 

 Rachel continued speaking to Seth but Kari could feel those brown eyes on her. "She hasn't kissed anyone since her ex; so Alana, Jasmine and I decided that we needed to take matters into our own hands."

 "Her ex... shit, wasn't that like two years ago?"

 "Yep." Rachel popped the 'p' loudly. "Now, Kari, you get back on that dance floor and find someone or I will pick them out for you."

 Almost giving herself whiplash with how quickly she raised her head back up, Kari stared horrified at her friend. 

 "You know I would."

 "Shit…." Kari mumbled, fiddling with one of the diamond studs in her ear. If there was one ultimate truth in the world, it was that Kari did NOT want any of her friends picking out someone for her to make-out with. The thought alone made her shudder. To say they had different tastes was an understatement. Her friends seemed to prefer the big, Viking-looking, blonds that seemed to enjoy going outside and chopping down trees…. for fun. Her preference was for, well not that. She downed the rest of her water and stood up, tugging down her short dress once again. "I'm going to the bathroom."

 The blonde rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you better get back on the floor once you're done. We can be here all night if we need too."

 Kari scurried away without a response. She did not actually have to use the bathroom but used the excuse to check her makeup and hair...and hide…. possibly for the rest of the night. Hoping to kill even more time, she took the long way to the bathroom, pointedly looking at the floor to avoid encouraging anyone to approach her. 

 She stumbled past the short set of stairs leading up to the VIP section, silently cursing her heels. All she wanted to do was kick them off. It was becoming a miracle she had not face-planted yet. Making a mental note to never let Alana choose her attire again, she pressed on, moving down one of the half walls along the raised VIP section. 

 As if fate sensed her thinking about her loathed heels, it decided to do something about it. 

 Someone suddenly shoved into her, pushing past her on their way towards somewhere. All the brunette managed to catch a glimpse of was a long, blonde braid and a backless dress. The force was enough to lose her balance on the stupid heels and slam into the wall next to her, her momentum and gravity then yanked her towards the ground. Just as she thought she would at least fall to her knees or kiss the dirty floor, a strong hand grabbed her bare, upper arm, keeping her upright. 

 She staggered drunkenly for a moment, her hands automatically reaching out to grip the shirt of the person who magically appeared in front of her, and really saving her from utter humiliation. No exaggerations. At all. Utter. Humiliation. 

 Once her mind refocused on no longer falling to her demise, the first thing she noticed was that whoever was holding her was definitely a man. Not just because the person was taller than her, but the sheer size of the pecks underneath her fisted hands in his shirt and the broad shoulders were a dead giveaway. Even one handed, this person was holding her upright with ease. The second thing she noticed was his scent. Yes, she knew that thought was beyond creepy but her body decided to take notice. Not her fault. Obviously. She just got to enjoy the repercussions. Whatever cologne he was wearing, it should be illegal to wear out in public. It conjured images of a fire in a hearth, bourbon, hot sex under furs and debauchery. 

 In the next moment, she lifted her gaze, wanting - no, needing to know who this man was. To thank him for saving her. Of course. That was it. Yep. Not to sear his image into her brain to fantasize about later. Not at all.  

 As her eyes met his, any words of thanks died on her tongue. For whatever working brain cells she had left silenced under his gaze. Staring down at her was the most vivid, gorgeous and terrifying blue pair of eyes that both soothed and scorched under their allure. 

 He never spoke a word, just stared at her. His hand held onto her upper arm as if worried she was suddenly going to drop. 

 Later, she would blame it on the combination of his touch, that intense look in his gaze and his cologne that made her act irrationally. So, before her mind could convince her how stupid she was, how reckless this was, how outside of her normal behavior she was acting…

 ...she rose up slightly on her toes and kissed him. 

 His lips were surprisingly soft against hers but unmoving. Slowly she retracted, hurt by his inaction but honestly not surprised. It was probably for the best. This idea was a failure from the start. She did not even know the guy, he just saved her from falling. She should have said 'thank you' and walked away…. not…. not kissed him! Opening her eyes to meet his now painfully hardened gaze, it only confirmed her stupidity. Before she could apologize and retreat to hide away from the world for at least the next century, he spoke. 

 "Are you drunk?"

 His abrupt, harsh question startled her. Her answer tumbled out of her mouth before her mind could filter the proper response. 

 "What?...no, I've had like two drinks but that's it...wait. Oh gods! Was my kiss that bad? Shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll just...sorry." She tried to pull away from him, face flushed from embarrassment. What had she been thinking? This was why she never just made-out with random guys. Whatever self-esteem she had evaporated beneath his piercing gaze. Her ex had called her frigid but this….

 His hand tightened ever so slightly on her arm, not enough to hurt but to certainly impede her desire to run away. His eyes bored into hers as if trying to read all the secrets of her soul. It was now, caught in this trap of his gaze, that she noticed the predatory glint in his eyes. She wondered if this was what a rabbit felt like while staring down a wolf, too frightened to move away. Well in her case, she was probably more of a hamster than rabbit. At least rabbits were fast and could try to hide. A hamster had no ability to outrun or outsmart a wolf. And everything about him screamed predator. 

 "Come." He commanded, releasing her arm and took a step to the side. 

 "Wha...what?" 

 He cocked his head to the side slightly, eyes narrowing. "Come. I am not through with you."

 A sharp shiver ran down her spine at the severe scrutiny sent her way but for some reason found herself agreeing. "Ohhh….um, ok." Her friends had wanted her to make-out with someone right? 

 She followed him, carefully ogling him from behind. The nice button-down he wore only accentuated the broadness of his chest and shoulders, plus with the sleeves rolled up and those toned forearms on show, he could have easily been just walking out of a photoshoot for some fashion magazine. Even the dark wash jeans and white Adidas sneakers could not deter from his overall striking appearance. His dark hair was long on top and shaved on the sides, something she had never seen before but it gave him a serious look instead of it being comical. 

 Surprise coursed through her when he started up the few steps leading to the VIP section. Somewhere she had never been nor expected to go. Only people with money or connections were allowed to be in there. She wondered which one of the two he was. It was also now as she followed him that she happened to notice the slight limp in his gait which drew her attention to the braces around his legs. Her mind wandered with questions as to why he needed braces. Had he been in an accident recently? Or surgery? Should he even be up walking? 

 Once they ascended the few steps, passing the bouncer at the top of the stairs who only gave her a passing glance before returning his eyes to the rest of the club, she continued to trail him to a short 'L' shaped couch with a low table in front of it. There were short half walls around all of the arrangements giving the illusion of privacy for those seated on a couch. Glancing around quickly, she could hear laughter and see some heads over the partitions but no one seemed to have paid any attention to her and the stranger she followed. 

 The man dropped down unceremoniously onto the black leather couch, stretching his legs out in front of him. Immediately, his intimidating gaze turned on her and she could not help but thickly swallow at the pure wicked look that sent shivers down her spine. Without a word, he held his hand out, beckoning her closer. 

 For the rest of her life, she would always question why she moved closer, why she took his hand, why she let him slowly guide her to straddling his lap. 

 All she knew was in the moment….it felt right. 

 "Good girl." He breathed out; rough, calloused hands held her hips steady over him. His fingers skimmed the hemline of her dress, now indecently high, almost no longer even covering her ass. 

 Her rational side screamed at her, reminding her she never did this, that she did not know this man. That if her family ever found out, gods forbid, they would probably disown her and not care if it left her starving in the streets due to her wanton behavior. Though their opinions no longer truly mattered in her life. 

 But her emotional side softly whispered that for once, to just give in, to let someone else be in control, to revel in the pleasure his touch brought forth. To throw caution and fidelity to the wind and enjoy life for once before she locked away her heart again. 

 Tipping her head forward, she pressed her lips to his once again. Where he had been unresponsive to her prior kiss, this time his lips slammed against hers, dominating and controlling. It sucked the very air from her lungs. Right now though, he could happily own all the oxygen she ever needed if he continued to kiss her like this. His hands slid to grab her ass, coaxing her even closer and drawing a needy moan from her. As her mouth opened, his tongue slipped in to explore as if he owned it. He kissed as if he was making love to her mouth and giving her a hint of what he would be like in bed. 

 Eventually she yanked her mouth from his, chest heaving and desperate for air. His head dropped to her chest and she gasped when she felt his tongue traced the line of cleavage her dress exposed. 

 "Fuck, you taste amazing." He whispered, practically branding the words into her skin as his lips tasted her. Before she could move or question him, his tongue was back on her exposed skin. This time it slid up from the hint of the valley between her breasts up her chest and neck to end with him sucking just below her earlobe. A whine, or was it a purr, was all her brain could handle, so overwhelmed with sensations she had never experienced before. Sure she had been kissed before but it had never felt like this. It all felt so…. tame compared to what this man elicited out of her. As if her prior understanding of fire was only looking at a lit match; while now she could only stare, completely absorbed by the raging bonfire that threatened to touch the sky with its unending flames. 

 Her hands shifted from grasping his shoulders to keep her upright under his onslaught to gripping his face and forcing his lips back to hers. A heat continued to build in her belly, an inferno that she wanted to dive into without fear or care of being burned. Her hips ground against him, feeling his hardened length between her legs only spurred her on. 

 "Fuck, kitten, keep going. Ride my cock." He growled into her mouth. 

 Before she realized it, the waves of pleasure and heat she had been riding exploded. She ripped her mouth away from his, head thrown back in a silent scream. She could feel his mouth move back to her exposed skin, kissing and sucking as he continued to grind under her. Her mind felt shattered into a million pieces but instead of frightening her, she felt pure bliss. Eventually she came back down from her high, her mind whirling with what just happened. 

 "What…." She licked her lips, wondering why her mouth was suddenly so dry. "What, um, was that?"

 "What are you talking about?" He asked smugly as he placed open mouth kisses along her chest and neck, never stopping his ministrations. 

 "Um, that feeling… I just...wow…."

 He stopped to tilt his head slightly and meet her gaze. "Have you never had an orgasm before?"

 Her eyes widened as realization swarmed her. Hastily, she tried to scramble off his lap but one of his hands grabbed the back of her neck, while the other still gripped her hip, forcing her to remain on his lap. His eyes scoured her, pupils blown wide but it was the dark, heated look in them that caused a whimper to slip from her lips. 

 "You never have…" he murmured, in something between surprise and a dangerous, boyish glee. Mumbling something in a foreign language, his wicked gaze never released her from looking away. One of his fingers returned to tracing her cleavage, teasing her occasionally as it dipped between her breasts only to continue its path. She could feel the heat slowly building in her core again, but if it was due to his touch or the devious smirk he wore, she was unsure. Never more had she felt like prey being toyed with by a hungry predator. 

 "Are you a virgin, my pretty kitten? Mmm?" He asked in such a filthy voice, it should never be allowed outside of a bedroom. 

 She whined, "please…" 

 Agonizingly slow, he leaned closer to her once again, his mouth just hovering over hers with a mischievous smirk that proved he knew what he was doing to her. 

 "Kari!"

 She jerked at the unexpected calling of her name. Turning to look over her shoulder, she could see Rachel and Alana both standing next to the bouncer at the top of the steps into the VIP section. Rachel was staring her down while Alana's blue eyes bounced back and forth between Kari and the man under her. 

 "It's time to go." Rachel yelled at her over the loud music, still easily heard this far away. 

 Kari turned back to...to him. "I need to leave."

 He nuzzled the crook of her neck, brushing her hair out of the way, before whispering into her ear. His hands never relinquished their hold on her. "Answer my question first."

 "I... I need to go. I'm sorry. Please. I just…"

 His hand trailed around her neck so he could grip under her jaw, forcing her face back up to meet his. His vivid blue eyes covetous in their intensity. "Answer. Me." His breath ghosted over her lips. 

 "Yes." The single word came out in a just barely heard whisper. 

 A hesitation, a pause, as if both were frozen in the moment due to her confession. Then his mouth slanted over hers in a greedy kiss, as if claiming her through sheer willpower and his ardent touch. Unable to help herself, she moaned into the kiss. Her hands gripped his shirt as if clinging for her life.  

 "Stay." He whispered against her lips. 

 "I can't…"

 "I'll bring you home. We aren't finished yet." As if to emphasize his point, he rolled his hips under her, his hardened length pressing against her wet core. 

 "Please, I'm sorry. I want to stay, I promise. I've never…. I…. I just need to go. I'm sorry."

 Deliberately slow, his grip on her loosened. First the hand on her neck, his thumb caressed her pulse point before dropping next to him on the couch. The hand on her hip glided up her body leaving a trail of fire in its wake, up to her arm and down it to her hand still clutching his shirt. Gently, almost reverently, he entwined their fingers. His blue eyes stared into hers as he helped guide her off his lap to stand before him. The lust was still evident in his gaze but now she noticed something underneath, something hidden by the ferocity. Yet she could not name it. Though it made her want to pull his head to her chest and just hold him, let whatever the unnamed emotion there bleed from him and comfort him. 

 "KARI!"

 She jolted at the frantic call of her name, pulled away from gazing into his eyes. 

 "Can I see you again?" He quietly asked, running his thumb along the back of her hand.

 "I hope so." She smiled gently then stepped away, before she did something stupid like give the man her number. That would be too forward for her. Turning her back to the man, she walked towards her friends. 

 Once she reached them, Alana slipped her arm through hers and they started to follow Rachel down to the main floor. At the last second the brunette looked over her shoulder to glimpse him one more time. His elbows were on his knees, body leaned forward and eyes glued to her as if trying to commit everything about her to memory. 

 For the briefest of seconds when their eyes connected, his gorgeous blue meeting her blue-green, she considered returning to him. To see what happened next so she never would have to wonder. To try and label what lay behind the dangerous glint in his eyes that she glimpsed. 

 Then her steps brought her to the main floor and away from his piercing gaze. She was too much of a coward to give in and taste the forbidden fruit he so freely offered. Even if a part of her wanted too. Her family rules seared into her brain since birth would never allow her too. 

 Quickly, the three women headed towards the exit. Just before they reached it, Rachel directed them to a semi-secluded alcove. 

 "What the hell was that?" The angry blonde demanded, turning on Kari with a vengeance.

 "What?" 

 "No, don't you fucking 'what' me! We told you to make-out with someone, not plan on getting fucking murdered!"

 Kari almost stumbled back at the venom in Rachel's voice. Her eyes bounced back and forth between her friends, trying to understand what she obviously was missing. "What are you talking about? Murdered? He was nice…. I thought."

 "Nice? Oh, he was nice?" Rachel stared at her for a long moment in shock. With a huff, she pinched the bridge of her nose as she harshly asked her next question. "Do you have any idea who that was?"

 "Um, no... we...he didn't say his name." 

 "Gods, you are so stupid sometimes." 

 Alana cut in, before Rachel could continue to berate. Her doll-like face ranging in expressions from concern to pity and fear. "Kari," she spoke as if explaining a simple matter to a child, her blue eyes pleading and intent on her face, "that was Ivar."

 "Huh?" Kari stated, dumbly, mind not fully processing what that meant. 

 "You know…. Ivar Lothbrok…." Alana gave a pained smile, tugging on one of her large hoop earrings under her blonde, pixie cut,"....one of the sons of Ragnar Lothbrok."

 The sudden knowledge felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over her head, freezing any semblance of warmth she may still have carried from their interaction. "What? I didn't…. are you sure?" 

 "Well the braces on his crippled legs should have been a damn giveaway." Rachel practically snarled. 

 Alana spoke back up, laying her hand on Kari's shoulder. "I know you haven't been here long but the Lothbroks have a…. reputation…. especially Ivar, for being, well, um, brutal. We just want you to be safe." She sighed and peeked over at Rachel. "Let's get out of here. Everyone else is waiting outside."

 "Ok." Was all Kari could say as her mind whirled with this new information. She followed behind them like a lost puppy, too absorbed in her thoughts to pay attention to where they were going. She could faintly hear Rachel harshly muttering something under her breath as they continued. 

 She knew who the Lothbroks were but kept that information to herself. Honestly, she probably knew more about that family than her friends did. She had listened to her uncle curse them enough times she had grown to associate their surname with a one-way ticket to the gates of Hell. If mortal enemies were a thing, her family and the Lothbroks would be that. 

 Her thoughts though stayed focused on a pair of brilliant, piercing blue eyes, soft, dark hair and a voice that called something out in her. There certainly was an aura of danger that hung over him like a shadow of doom plus with the predatory, wicked glint in his eyes, Kari could understand what they meant by dangerous. It was the other look her mind continued to replay over and over. Now away from him, she could pinpoint what it was. Vulnerability. When he asked her to stay- in anyone else she might have mistaken it for begging- that confidence he wore as a mask slid away just for a moment and allowed her to peek underneath. No wonder she wanted to crawl into his lap and hold him close. A part of her yearned to turn around and rush back to him to do that very thing. But her feet kept moving, following her friends. 

 She was not stupid, naïve maybe but not stupid. They wanted her to stay away from him. She could read between the lines well enough. Though if she encountered him again, she was unsure if she would be able to stay away…. or would want too. 

[nerdierholler]

Wayhaven Frights Day 7: Isolation

Pairing: Ethan Langford/Adam du Mortain Rating: G Words: 1925 Warnings: none Ethan's been shut up alone inside his apartment dealing with the flu and Adam comes to check on him. It's flirty fluff, mostly on Ethan's part. Even sick he's absolutely incorrigible. Also you can read it on AO3 here.

Isolation

Fevers and chills had racked Ethan’s body for several days now. At the first sign he was feeling under the weather, the captain had ordered him out of the station, something Ethan resented in the moment but was grateful for by the time he’d collapsed into bed later. And in bed was where he’d stayed for most of the last 48 hours. It had taken him 10 minutes yesterday just to get the pot of soup Tina left on his doorstep and put it away. Afterwards he slept for 8 hours from just that small amount of exertion.

The buzzing sound of his phone grating against his nightstand woke Ethan up. He rolled over, grimacing as he peeled himself away from the sweat soaked sheets. If it was Douglas calling to check on him yet again he was going to strangle the kid as soon as he could hold his arms up for more than a few minutes. He looked at the caller ID. It was Adam.

“Hey,” Ethan croaked, the first word he’d spoken in days.

“You sound terrible.”

“I feel terrible.” He let the phone drop onto the side of his face, too tired to hold it up. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, can I go back to sleep?”

“Agent Langford contacted me. She’s concerned about your illness and wanted to check in on you.”

“You checked, I’m still alive. Goodbye now.”

“In person.”

Ethan groaned. He was an adult, not a child, he didn’t need his mother trying to babysit him just because he had the flu.

“Since catching your illness isn’t a concern, I offered to stop by after my patrol.”

Normally, Ethan’s heart would be fluttering at the rare moment of concern from the usually stoic leader, but right now even the opportunity of having Adam alone in his apartment wasn’t enough to overpower Ethan’s desire for rest.

“Fine.” Even if he had the energy, he knew there’d be no point in arguing if both Adam and his mother had conspired against him. “But don’t expect me to get the door, just let yourself in and try to be quiet.”

In the brief silence that followed, Ethan could perfectly picture Adam about to protest against just waltzing into his apartment and somehow invading his privacy. “I’ll be there shortly,” he said finally.

“Okay.”

“Goodbye, detective.”

“Yeah,” Ethan mumbled. Rolling over, he let the phone slide off his face and onto the pillow. In a few moments he was asleep once again.

Several hours passed before Ethan opened his eyes. When he did, he could just make out the faint traces of sunset shining through the curtains. Adam must have come by while he was sleeping. At least he didn’t wake him up in the process. It felt like that last bit of sleep might have been what he needed to start turning the corner. At the very least it meant he woke up feeling well enough to make it as far as the kitchen for some water.

He swung his feet over the side of the bed and sat up, allowing a few moments to adjust to the change in position before attempting to stand. His knees didn’t immediately buckle, so that was a good start. He shuffled over to the door, holding onto the frame for support as he opened it. And on the other side was Adam, sitting on his couch with a book, green eyes darting up to look at him.

Ethan would be lying if the thought of standing in front of Adam, clad only in his boxers, hadn't crossed his mind before. This just wasn’t how he imagined it playing out. There was usually a lot more lead up to this point and a lot less body odor on his part. As it was, the most he could manage was a lopsided grin in apology for his current state of existence.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“Don’t worry, I’m heading back shortly, just getting some water. Maybe food and a shower too, but let’s not get carried away just yet.”

Adam watched him closely as he made his way to the kitchen. Ethan had no doubt he was ready to jump up if he showed any sign of trouble. Briefly, he considered faking a stumble just to see what Adam would do but decided against it. There was too great a chance of his fake attempt becoming a real one.

Ethan filled a glass from the sink and drained it in one long gulp. Filling it again, he leaned back against the kitchen counter and closed his eyes, partially to avoid looking at Adam, but mostly because even the short walk across the apartment had made his head start to spin.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Adam’s voice was just a few feet away now. He must have gotten up after Ethan closed his eyes. “I’m fine.” There was a huff of disapproval from nearby. “Or I will be. It’s just the flu. A few more days of rest and I’ll be right as rain. Don’t worry about...” the last word hung on Ethan’s lips as he opened his eyes and found Adam standing right beside him, brow knotted with concern. Raising the glass to his lips, Ethan took another long drink.

“May I?” Adam asked as he lifted a hand towards Ethan’s face,

Ethan could only nod silently, not sure of what to expect next and half wondering if maybe this was all just part of some fevered dream. Adam placed his hand on Ethan’s forehead for a few moments, the touch making his whole body tingle. He made a mental note to hide the digital thermometer that was currently sitting on his nightstand.

“I don’t feel any fever but that doesn’t mean it won’t return. I think it would be best if you returned to bed as soon as possible.”

Part of Ethan wanted to immediately protest, an unfortunate side effect of having spent so much time with the vampire. In this instance however, there really wasn’t a reason for them to butt heads. It wasn’t like Ethan had been planning on going for a long evening stroll or something. “At the very least, I’m going to take a quick shower,” his stomach gurgled, “and maybe eat something, then it’s back to bed, I promise.”

That answer seemed to satisfy Adam and his face softened with relief, apparently not in the mood to fight either. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“In the shower?” Ethan raised an eyebrow, “I’m sure I could think of something.”

Adam folded his arms across his chest, “That was not what I meant.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ethan waved a hand dismissively as he made his way to the bathroom. Flirting with Adam when he was standing in his underwear was probably a bad idea anyway. “I’m fine. I’ll deal with my own messes in a few days, there’s nothing that can’t wait.” He turned back to Adam with a genuine smile, “Thanks for offering though.”

The hot water running over Ethan made him want to melt into the drain at his feet. If he had a list of top ten showers he’d ever taken, this would have been one of them. He didn’t have a list, but his mind quickly started to form one before he stopped himself. Adam was still in the other room and while some of those might be pleasant memories to revisit, now was not the time.

He stood there for longer than he’d intended as the aches in his body slowly dissolved until he felt blissfully limp and relaxed. He dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist then opened the door. And immediately closed it. Right, Adam. Ethan looked down at the boxers in the hamper, he really didn’t want to put them back on, even for just a few minutes to get to his room. He cracked the door just wide enough for his face to peek through.

“Hey, Adam? Can you do me a favor?”

Adam eyed him cautiously, unsure of what kind of favor the detective might ask, “Yes?”

“Bring me some shorts. Middle drawer, any pair is fine.”

For the briefest of moments Adam’s face blushed with realization at the request and Ethan couldn’t help but wonder how much Adam enjoyed the mental image that must have just passed through his mind. He hoped it was quite a lot.

In half a minute, Adam returned, holding out a pair of shorts, which Ethan quickly grabbed and put on. Finally emerging from the bathroom, he looked between the kitchen and his bedroom. Despite how much he’d slept recently, floating back into bed seemed too irresistible given his relaxed state.

“Alright, I’m going back to bed, I’ll worry about food the next time I get up.”

Instead of seeming pleased with this announcement, Adam frowned instead. “When was the last time you ate something?”

“Umm,” Ethan ran his fingers through his wet hair in thought, “I think I had some crackers yesterday, maybe.”

Adam’s frown deepened, “Last time I checked, humans required regular meals.”

“I thought you wanted me in bed?”

“I do,” Ethan quirked an eyebrow at Adam’s words, causing him to pause and clear his throat. “That is, I think you need more rest in order to recover. If you want to lay down, I would be happy to bring you something.”

“If you insist.” Ethan started to head back to his room, “Tina brought some soup by the other day, it’s in the big green dish in the fridge, just put some in a smaller bowl-”

“I remember how to make soup,” Adam interrupted.

“Two and half minutes in the microwave should be enough. Do you know how to work the-”

“Yes, I know!”

Ethan chuckled to himself as he pulled back the duvet and slipped between the crisp sheets. This felt heavenly, hopefully he could stay awake long enough for Adam to bring him his soup.

Wait. Ethan rolled over and sniffed his pillow. These were clean sheets. Had Adam? While he was in the shower? Ethan closed his eyes with a happy sigh. As frustrating as it could be trying to figure Adam out, there was nothing in the world like those times when he showed how much he cared.

“Here, it’s hot,” Adam said, as he set the bowl down on the side table.

Ethan sat up and grabbed it, enjoying the feeling of warmth in his hands. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Adam’s voice was surprisingly soft and the smile that played on the corners of his lips didn’t escape Ethan’s notice.

“I really appreciate you coming by. I don’t think I realized how nice it would be to see someone again.” To see you again.

“It was no trouble, Ethan. I was glad to be of assistance.”

“Care to fill me in on what I’ve missed that last couple of days? Just while I finish this,” Ethan added, “then I’ll be a good boy and go back to sleep.”

The smile Adam had been trying to suppress finally broke through and he leaned against the dresser, telling Ethan about the latest news from the warehouse. Ethan wanted this to last, the comfortable conversation. He ate as slowly as possible and the last few spoonfuls were cold by the time he got to them. But try as he might, his body got the better of him and it wasn’t long after Adam carried the empty bowl away to the kitchen that Ethan was fast asleep once more.

[soundsof71]

for the album thing: born in the usa :)

I could write a book about any of Bruce’s records from Born To Run to Born In The USA. I did in fact write my grad school thesis using Nebraska as the hook: ”Vehicles of Grace: Automobile Imagery and Salvation in the works of Bruce Springsteen and Flannery O’Connor” LOL which is one million percent true. 

In fact, I bought Nebraska on my first day of class in grad school (a whole story by itself), and BITUSA came out as I was finishing my coursework two years later. It’s hard to overstate how hard this one hit, but my reaction was kind of complicated, so I’ll tell ya all about it.

the first song from this album I heard: “Dancing In The Dark”, which came out as a single before the album. Followed immediately by “Pink Cadillac”, its b-side. We played the SHIT out of that song in particular, far more than the A side, and were dumbfounded that it wasn’t on the album. 

do I own the album?: Obvs, but there’s a story. Of course. My girlfriend and I bought it on vinyl the day it came out in June (we weren’t married yet, but we’d merged our record collections the previous year LOL), then for my birthday in August, she bought me a CD player for like $800 (they were expensive as FUCK when they first came out -- and $800 was even more of a fuckton of money back in those days, especially for a couple of grad students), with one CD, Born In The USA. That one CD was more than reason enough to spend the dough on a player.

I still have that CD, along with the ticket for show where we saw Bruce on our honeymoon in England, at St. James Park in Newcastle, in June 1985. He’d just gotten married too (the first time), which is a whole ‘nother story too. Oh, and I still have the sweatshirt from that show! I'll post a picture of all this some time.

my favorite song: Wellll....here’s where it gets kinda complicated. Bruce had a notoriously hard time picking songs for the record. He’d recorded something like 50 songs for the album, and once he cut the list to 30 or so, he kept asking people he trusted to pick THEIR favorite running order. (Dave Marsh talked about this in his book Glory Days: Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s, and I haven’t heard it much discussed since then.) It’s hard to argue with the finished results, but you know what? I kinda do, still, all these years later. LOL 

My favorite song OF the album, no question, is “Shut Out The Light”. (Check my tag for this song to hear some more about it.) It was first released as the b-side to the 7 inch single of “Born In The USA” (remarkably, the third single from the record), and wouldn’t show up on CD until 1998 on the Tracks anthology. Tracks was 4 CDs in all (should probably have been 6 discs, and COULD have been 10), but I bought the whole thing for THIS.

My favorite song ON the album: “Downbound Train.”

my least favorite song: “Darlington County”. 

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: “Dancing In The Dark”. I’m not alone in this. Miami Steve famously HATED the song at first, and only came to appreciate it after years of playing it live. I still remember never more eagerly anticipating an album in my life, and never being more upset by the advance single. I was devastated.

Here’s why. Born to Run came out when I was 15. “Gotta get out while we’re young!” The romance of escape, with the last two songs, still grandly romantic, hinting at its costs. 

Darkness came out when I was 17. Narrator: “They did not escape.” LOL Ghosts, bitterness, compulsion, cursed by God. His estranged wife’s eyes “filed with hate for just being born”, while “Tonight I’ll be on that hill ‘cause I can’t stop.” 

The closest thing to hope: a whispered “Tonight my baby and me are gonna ride to the sea / and wash these sins from our hands.” I was a senior in high school and the dream was already dead. Awesome. LOL

The River came out when I was 20. The only hope is domesticity. Too bad that it’s suffocating and you’ll fuck it up. LOL Want to wash the sins from your hands? Sorry, the river is dry. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / Or is it something worse./ that sends me down to the river?” Yikes!

The shows for this album were astounding. The album was soooo much darker than it first appeared, and the catharsis in the performance was rewarding, sure, but almost unbearable. You were left broken and crawling by the end of the night. In a good way. LOL 

Nebraska came out when I was 22. Murder, mental illness, ghosts, more murder, compulsion, and as a treat, a little more murder. LOL 

The one song I couldn’t stand was “Reason To Believe”, because I didn’t believe there was one, and I didn’t believe he did either. But boy did I love the album as a whole. Like I said, my grad school thesis started here, because I had too much to say about Nebraska and the sweep of Bruce’s literary roots and spiritual impulses NOT to write about it. 

(Not shockingly in retrospect, and a blessing for us all that he went through with it and is still at it, but Bruce’s therapy started here too.)

So from 1975 to 1984, things got darker and darker and darker. It was beautiful. LOL And hey, this was MY LIFE we’re talking about, too! From 15 to 24, I was listening to Born To Run, Darkness, The River, and Nebraska practically on a loop, and the more hopeful stuff was becoming less and less resonant. 

Sure, there was Rosalita and Thunder Road and Badlands, plenty of dancing and pumping fists, but I was dwelling in darkness, and living for it. On my best days, I was wounded, not even dead LOL but I barely listened to Born to Run by the end of this span. It was mostly Darkness and Nebraska. 

I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming after the highest body count in recorded history on that album. LOL I knew it wouldn’t be acoustic again, but man, he was cutting closer and closer to the bone each time out. How much farther could he possibly go?

And it was....Dancing In The Dark? What the actual FUCK? Practically fucking disco or something? WHA....? I loved dance music, especially in the 80s, but I didn’t need it from Bruce. I had that from other people. Oh well, at least the b-side was cool, so maybe the album won’t bite. LOL BUT THEN PINK CADILLAC WASN’T ON THE ALBUM. FUCK.

The album didn't bite, of course, but it took a looooong time to get over this huge dual disappointment of a chirpy disco single by an artist I barely recognized, and whom I now felt I could no longer trust to manage his own creative mission.  

My wife wrapped her head around it first (as is usually the case LOL). She dug it as the closest Bruce had yet come to putting his actual self in a song. The narrator is a writer, anyway, unlike every other song he’d ever written about jobs he never held for a single second (an observation that would form the bedrock of Springsteen on Broadway 40 years later).  

Now, I totally dig it. If you’re naughty enough, I might even post my ukulele cover of Dancing In The Dark. LOL

a song I used to like, but now don’t: None. The songs I loved, which is most of ‘em honestly, I still do. Everything about this album has gotten better with time for me, and nothing about it has gotten less so.

my favorite lyric: 

From “Shut Out The Light”: Oh mama mama mama come quick I've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sick Throw your arms around me in the cold dark night Hey now mama don't shut out the light 

From “Downbound Train” The room was dark. Our bed was empty Then I heard that long whistle whine And I dropped to my knees, hung my head, and cried

Bruce was gonna try to give me a happier record, but I was having none of it. LOL 

For the record, “Downbound Train” is my wife’s favorite track on the record by FAR, at least partly because it sounds like a band version of a song that could have followed Nebraska. I prefer Shut Out The Light because I heard the story of my own mental illness in it for the first time, but yeah, Downbound Train is amazing.

I only saw it live once at the time (in Newcastle, June 4, ‘85), but it really comes to live onstage -- true for all of Bruce of course, but this album more than any other imo.

overall rating out of 10: Then: 8. Now: 9.2.  The shows were unbelievably good (we saw three shows in three different countries on that tour) and it sold a buttload, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that after the run of Darkness - The River - Nebraska, that this was a missed opportunity at best. 

Time and distance heals all LOL and I now love it. Not more than the four before it, but more than anything since. A masterpiece, by any standard.

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 1 (One More Light)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, potential blood mentions, genocide mentions, runaway mentions, emotional manipulation? (If you can call it that? Idk you decide), mental illness (depression implied), sexual mentions, mentions of death, mentions of violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: This story is gonna be a bit of a heart puller. Sorry. But for this chapter anyways, I recommend listening to One More Light by Linkin Park because it really goes well with this chapter.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀

Lonely Hearts Club Master List

Chapter 1: One More Light

The way you moved was devastating. The way you laughed was harmonious. The way you smiled was infectious. The way you smelt was intoxicating. He’s been so giddy ever since you came through their doors. He finally found you.

His brothers had told him to wait and be patient, but who was he kidding, waiting was impossible for someone like him. He always had so much love to give. When he loved, he loved with all his heart. So it’s no surprise that he was already in love with his mate that he’d only known for a few days. He had told you he had imprinted on you the day after you woke up from your injury, three days ago. Your response was less than ideal, you simply let out an “okay” and walked the other way. He couldn’t lie, your reaction stung him a bit, he wanted you to be just as in love with him as he was with you.

You were really cold to him. Colder than you were with anyone else in the house. But he understood that that can happen sometimes and that it could take you some time to come to terms with having a mate. He was just hoping that time would speed up so he could reach his happily ever after sooner.

-

As you walked downstairs for dinner, you saw him sitting there again. Your eyes automatically went to him when he was in a room, you couldn’t stop it. No matter how hard you tried, your body’s natural reaction was to want to see him. He was already looking at you, before you had even made it fully down the stairs, with stars in his eyes. You couldn’t help but scoff under your breath.

Your stupid instincts once again had fucked you over. That’s what that new feeling you felt on the first day was, you had imprinted on a young wolf in Seungcheol’s pack. But You didn’t want a new mate. You didn’t NEED a new mate. You just wanted to be left alone. You just wanted to be left alone to die. But NOOOOO. They HAD to come and play heros and save you and keep you from seeing the end of a silver bullet. You understood that they were just trying to help, so you weren’t really upset with them, just more so sad that you had to continue with your shitty life.

While you were sitting down at the kitchen table eating, you could feel his eyes on you, watching your every move like you were some sort of goddess. The feeling had your skin tingling. You hated it. Because, now that you had a mate, you knew you could go into heat. You’ve never had that problem before, you weren’t mature enough back then to experience it. But you knew it could end up VERY bad if you weren’t careful now that you were able to go through it.

Being in the same room with him was getting harder and harder. It felt like the room was getting hotter and hotter. Like you were suffocating in his delicious aroma. You couldn’t keep this up. By tomorrow, you knew you’d want to hump his brains out. And you DEFINITELY didn’t want that to happen.

You couldn’t deal with it much longer, as you finished your last few bites of your dinner, a reeling hot flash hit you when your eyes met and he looked deep into your icy blue orbs. You were sweating and you felt like your every layer of skin was being peeled back to expose all your nerves. The slight breeze in the room was making things that much worse. Fuck. You HAD to get out of there before this shit got more out of hand.

You quickly got up from your chair and washed your plate in their sink. It startled quite a few of the pack members around you and their mates because no one else had done that just yet. The boys could… smell- that something was different about you. They didn’t know what exactly as they had never even been around or heard of a female wolf before, but they still knew SOMETHING was weird with you. They just couldn’t put their finger on it. Even so, they tried to continue their dinner as nonchalantly as possible as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Well SOMEBODY’S in a rush” joked Joshua, who had his mate all but sitting on his lap feeding her portions of her food.

“Yeah (Y/N). You good?” Mingyu asked in a similar manner, but you could see he was actually curious as to why you wanted to make a sudden exit from the table.

“Yeah. I- uh- I’m fine. I just need to head back to my den tonight. I’ve been away too long and I- um- I need to go make sure everything’s alright.” You stuttered while not looking at any of them and with quite a bit of hesitation. You were hoping none of them would question why you were so on edge and why you wanted to leave. But obviously with Seokmin there, your hopes had been smashed to pieces the second he spoke up.

“You’re leaving??? You can’t leave! I mean- I didn’t mean it like that but- I mean, you still aren’t healed properly. You could get hurt again!” The frantic words left his mouth as soon as you had finished your own sentence moments before.

You couldn’t leave him, he just found you. He HAD to make you stay somehow. He couldn’t just let you walk away without knowing whether or not you’d come back to him. His heart was beating out of his chest in panic, what was he gonna do if you left him??

“I’ll be fine. I’ve taken care of myself for a long time now. I appreciate you guys helping me out but-” you tried to brush off their worry, wanting to make a quick get away as soon as possible. But Seokmin stood up from his seat and hurriedly retorted your little speech.

“But nothing! You still have a hard time walking around without holding onto something. There’s no way you’re leaving in this state!” He gestured with his hands as he got closer to you.

God, did he have to smell so fucking good? You had to shake the thought off, you had to control yourself. You had one focus right now and that was to leave before you did irreversible damage.

“Who are you my father? I can leave if I want to!And i WANT to leave! I have other things I have to do and I won’t put them on hold any longer! I can’t!” You punctuated your sentence by throwing your hands in the air.

“Seokmin’s right (Y/N). You still aren’t doing your best. If you’re not careful, you could get yourself killed. It’s probably best you stay here at least for another few days.” Hansol tried as the pack’s resident doctor in an attempt to keep his brother from going crazy at the idea of losing his mate so soon.

They all really liked you, even if you weren’t… the warmest person towards their packmate. They all could see you were just putting on a brave face. They didn’t want you to go run off and get yourself in trouble without them backing you up.

“I can’t! I have important business to attend to this week. I can’t put it on hold just because I’m still not 100% better. I have to go” you say, standing your ground as best you could with Seokmin standing right in front of you with his stupidly warm glowing aura that made you wanna tackle him to the ground with kisses.

You just wanted to grab his beautiful face and let him take you right then and there from the way he was biting his lip while looking at you. The thought made you shiver. But you couldn’t give in to those thoughts. You WOULDN’T give in to those thoughts. You didn’t want a new mate. You didn’t want him, you had to keep reminding yourself. But You NEEDED to get out of there, for both your sakes.

Seokmin was in a panic. He couldn’t lose you. What if you never came back? What if you go hurt? What if you ran away? What if he never saw you again? He couldn’t risk losing you. He couldn’t. He looked to Seungcheol, who was sitting at the table stroking his mate’ thigh, for help.

“Okay how ‘bout this (Y/N), You go finish whatever business it is that you need to finish and a few of us will check up on you in a couple of days to make sure you’re alright? That’s fair right? Besides, you’ll definitely need another healing session or two before you’ll be able to defend yourself fully alone again” Seungcheol suggested.

He knew his brother didn’t want you to leave their house, but he also knew forcing you to stay was definitely not the right thing to do in this situation. He knew trying to leash you down would only make you resent them and more defiant. At least this way, they could still make sure you were alright and you’d get some independence. Everyone would win. Seokmin had a little whine emit from his chest at the thought of not seeing you for a while, causing Cheol to look to his brother’s depressed face. Well… everyone would win except Seokmin that is…

“Fine! If that’s what it’ll take for you guys to let me go, fine. But I NEED to leave and I need to leave like yesterday!” You repeatedly tapped your foot to the ground, almost waiting for some sort of reaction from them.

Hansol got up from his seat, “Okay. How about we make sure you get to your cave safely? That way we can make sure we know you got there okay and we’ll know how to find you later for your check up.”

“Fine. That’s fine, whatever. But I need to go now!” you declared while heading for the door, knowing full well you didn’t bring anything to their home but the clothes on your back.

You never really owned anything anyways. You had to move around and run so much that you never thought it a good idea to own too many material possessions.

“Better get going then.” Seokmin said semi-coldly, not really wanting you to leave, but also realizing that he didn’t get much of a say.

-

On your way to your den, it was decided that Hansol, Jeonghan, Jun, and Seokmin would accompany you on the journey. They wanted to be sure they had enough people that would know where you were staying so they had multiple people who could find you later. They wanted an Alpha to go with you to make sure the boys stayed in line, mostly Seokmin, so they had Jeonghan go. Jun went because you were more comfortable with him as you were both foreigners and kind of hit it off, making fast and perfect friends. Hansol went because he was the pack’s healer and he would more than likely be one of the ones to check on you later. And of course, Seokmin went because he wanted to spend every possible second he could with you.

It wasn’t that far, an hour or two’s walk in human form at best. But You wanted to just dash there in your wolf form so you could get there. It irritated you that you couldn’t already shift to a more familiar form that you were used to and felt more safe in. Though you knew the boys with you just wanted to protect you, so you made the slow walk to your little home next to the boys.

“Hey (Y/N). Can I ask a question?” Jun spoke out of no where next to you.

“I mean you can ask, doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily get an answer though.” You causally let out, stepping over a big rock in order to continue your way to your den. You didn’t mean it in a mean way, the boys all knew that, it was just your personality. You preferred to keep things short, blunt, and sarcastic, kinda the exact opposite of your mate’s style.

Jun bit his lip and played with his large thumbs before his voice echoed out again, “Well I mean, I could hear you talking in your sleep these last few nights, We all could. It sounded like you were having quite a few nightmares. Does-Does that happen a lot?” He questioned, trying his absolute best not to offend you in the process.

“Eh. Yeah I guess, it’s not that big a deal though. You get used to it after a while.” You answered, not really wanting to elaborate but also knowing he wasn’t asking in a malicious way, more so in an ‘are you good bro?’ type of way.

“Oh okay. Well then can I ask who- who Cyrus is…?” Jun quietly stuttered again while trying hard to not upset you.

As the boys kept their walk going, you stopped for a moment. It didn’t go unnoticed by them so they halted as well. Jun, worried he had pushed you, tried to lighten the mood some more.

“I’m sorry (Y/N). I didn’t want to dig too deep into your personal life or anything. I just-” Jun spoke before you cut him off swiftly.

“No! I mean- it’s alright. I’d want to know if I was you guys too. I just… I- I haven’t heard his name said aloud in a long time ‘s all.” You responded while looking down at your feet as they started up their pace again.

They began following behind you as you continued with your answer to the Chinese wolf’s previous question, “Cyrus is- Cyrus WAS my mate” you croaked, trying to keep the tears back. You were NOT about to have some people you barely knew see you cry. No, that was definitely NOT happening.

“You- You had another mate?” Hansol said without even realizing he had added the word ‘another’ in his question.

It was still a bit of a touchy subject for both you and Seokmin as you hadn’t really accepted or denied him yet. This earned Hansol a nudge from Jeonghan. Seokmin, who had been staying quiet for most of the journey, was listening and processing your statement attentively. His heart rate sped up, you had another mate? It hurt him to think about it. He wanted to be your only one.

“Yeah. I- I did” you muttered, putting the word ‘another’ out of your mind and focusing on the question at hand, “A long time ago. He’s- He’s gone now. When he died… that’s when my nightmares started- that’s WHY my nightmares started.” You added, almost having reached your cave.

“… How did he- How did he die?” Seokmin let his voice out for the first time since you guys had left the house, startling you a bit.

You again hesitated to respond. You weren’t against talking about it. You just weren’t sure you wanted them to know just yet. You weren’t sure if you were ready for Seokmin to know just yet. But you knew you’d have to tell them all eventually, especially if they kept bugging you about it. So you decided to just sit the dirty laundry out and let it fall wherever it was meant to.

“Jun, you’re Chinese right?” You quizzed, slightly confusing them at the sudden question. They assumed you were just trying to change the subject.

“Yeah... I’m from Shenzhen.” He added, still very curious as to where your random ass knowledge came from.

“… You- You know what Lingchi is?” You say continuing to walk on.

As everyone else still kept walking the way to your den, Jun stopped entirely. His heart dropping at the word that you had linked to Seokmin’s earlier question. That’s what happened to him? That’s what happened to your MATE? The others didn’t understand, they didn’t know Chinese as they were all Korean and really had no need to learn a language that wasn’t used a whole lot in Korea. They knew a few words here and there do to having lived with Junhui and Minghao for so long and having had another Chinese pack for friends, but they never needed to know THAT word. At least, not until now.

“… That’s- That’s how he died?” Jun spoke up and all of you turned around at his distant voice. You could see the tears brimming on the brink of his water lines. He was sad for you. He was sad for your lost mate. He was sad at your whole situation and your whole backstory.

You cleared your seemingly very dry throat, “Yeah,” You said in a small voice, trying your best to hide any emotions that hit you like a rock through a window.

It upset you that while you were even speaking on such a serious topic, you were about to start heat and you still felt it creeping up on you. You tried to shake the dirtier thoughts away and just decided to do your best to get through it in one piece. You really wished that Seokmin would’ve stayed back at the pack’s house. He was making everything sooo much harder for you. You wanted to be able to be upset, but how could you when your every instinct at the moment was telling you to jump his bones?

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry… I- I didn’t know… I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t have asked if I had known.” Jun shook his head to flick the tears back and brought his hand to your small shoulder in comfort, looking at you with almost pleading eyes.

You gave him a small smile and put you little hand on top of his larger one and gave it a small squeeze, “It’s alright. It was a long time ago.” You whispered out, gently brushing his limb from your body as you started walking again, clearly indicating that you were too emotional to keep talking about the subject anymore. The others just followed your movements wordlessly, not really understanding the gravity of the whole situation like their brother did, but knowing that whatever it was you were talking about couldn’t have been good.

-

It was a few more minutes until you reached the mountain opening you were searching for. You had walked in silence the rest of the way there, the evidence of your and Jun’s serious topic still lingering in the air. The others had other conversations they wanted to have, but knowing that you spoke of your last mates demise without actually having an idea of what happened to him made them reluctant to speak.

“Okay.” Hansol finally broke the ice, “We’ll be back to check in on you in a couple of days okay? If you need us, don’t hesitate to give us a howl! Someone’s home at all times. We’ll find you. So don’t run out on us got it?” He joked as he lightly pushed your shoulder as a symbol of affection.

You had taken a liking to Hansol almost immediately, he was a very calm and positive person, he felt like your natural brother already. He made you feel like you were such an outcast and tried to make you feel included. So you lightly pushed his shoulder back playfully.

“Okay okay. I’ll be here don’t worry! Just give me like five or six days to get some stuff done. Then you’ll be able to check on me” you stated as you gave him a big bear hug, though you kept it short so you wouldn’t get too much contact that would aggravate your heat any further.

You went on and hugged the other boys too in similar ways, discluding Seokmin as you were worried that, if you touched him, you’d completely lose it. So you simply just gave him a head nod and said your goodbyes verbally. It hurt him that you didn’t give him a hug goodbye too since it would be a while since he saw you next, he didn’t even know why you wanted to go back to your cave or why you refused to be near him recently. So he took the lack of contact a bit more to heart than you had meant for him to, but still, he said nothing. He didn’t want to agitate you or risk you potentially not coming back due to his actions or words.

-

As the boys left the cave, one sure question was on all three of the boys minds.

“Hey Jun” Seokmin caught his brother’s attention as they walked home and were finally far enough away from your den to where you couldn’t hear them anymore.

“Yeah?” He responded cooly while cruising back down the path home.

“What’s Lingchi?” Seokmin questioned. All three of the Korean boys turned to him as they waited for an answer. Junhui gulped in response.

He really had to explain one of the worst things he could think of to his brothers, one of them being your current mate who would no doubt be seriously disturbed by the sudden declaration of your old mate’s fate. Perfect.

“Lingchi- it… it usually means… Lingering Death. When talking about- well- said death, it means- it means Slow Slicing.” Jun let out as he looked on while shoving his hands in his pockets as he tried to act off his discomfort of the topic at hand.

“Slow Slicing?” Jeonghan questioned, also wanting some sort of explanation or further elaboration on what Jun was talking about.

“Yeah. It- It’s also known as- I think you’d guys call it… Death By A Thousand Cuts.” Jun slowly let his words simmer out, trying his best to not sound affected by the thought of that happening to someone he had known’s mate.

“Tha- THAT’S how he died???” Seokmin panicked, knowing full well how that must have affected you. His heart felt like it had just gained 100 pounds in a matter of seconds.

“Yeah. They usually used some kind of sword… and they kept cutting shallow slices into a person until they bled to death. It’s- Death By A Thousand Cuts- it’s really a terribly slow and horribly painful way to die.” Jun reiterated while kicking a rock close to his feet.

He wasn’t even sure if he should’ve told them to begin with, it wasn’t his mate that met that fate after all, but he also knew that if he were you he wouldn’t have wanted to be the one who explained it. So he took it upon himself hoping you wouldn’t hate him later.

“Fuck.” Jeonghan breathed loudly as he ran his hand through his hair, having finally have reached the house.

“That’s fucking awful” Hansol added.

It was awful. Your mate died in one of the worst ways possible. And, from how bad your nightmares sounded, he figured you must have seen at least some of it. He felt terrible for you. And he was mad at himself for being slightly jealous earlier at the mention of your old mates name now. No wonder you were so cut off from him. You were numb. You didn’t want to go through that again, and he couldn’t blame you. If he saw that happen to you, he’d jump off a cliff and end it all.

Still, he promised himself that night that he’d do everything he could to get you to see that he would stay with you always and that he’d keep you safe forever. He was determined to show you that you’d never have to go through that again. He just needed to figure out how to do that in like five days. No fucking biggie or anything. Little did he know that five days from now, your past mate couldn’t have been further from your mind…

Another Author’s Note: Hi guys! So I just want to put out there that I’m not Chinese, I’m Mexican. I think I used the word right but if I didn’t, PLEASE let me know. I asked one of my friends for help with it, but she only uses conversational Mandarin with her family and isn’t 100% fluent. Everything I’ve looked up says that it’s the right word to use in Mandarin for it and use of the language was kind of essential for this particular chapter as I needed the suspense of having the characters have to ask someone later what it meant. Again PLEASE let me know if it’s wrong or if there’s a better word for it! Hope you guys liked this chapter because the next one will be super fun😉

(Updated 9/8)

[jawritter]

The Arrangement

Part 4

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Scared Reader, insecure reader, angest, pre smut, drinking, I think that’s it.

Word Count: 2626

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

The rain was pounding down on the windshield in sheets, and the traffic seemed to be moving impossibly slow due to the horrible weather. The only sound in the car is the sound of the windshield wipers dragging across the window, and the rain pounding down on top of the car. 

Jensen hadn't said a word to you, or looked at you even since pulling the car out onto the highway. You tried to tell yourself that it was just because he was trying to concentrate with all the bad weather and traffic. 

Your self-consciousness was screamed past your own reasoning.

'Look at him, he's freaking gorgeous! He's probably regretting this already, and you haven't even gotten to your hotel yet. He’ll probably return you to the church by morning, and not even try to consummate the marriage. Someone as attractive as him could never be attracted to someone like you.' your mind screamed at you.

You looked out the window, even though all you could see was pouring rain. Trying your hardest to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over onto your checks, you felt like he'd already rejected you. Your own thoughts quickly become your worst enemy.

You were so engrossed in your own thoughts that you nearly jumped out of your skin when he reached over and took your hand in his, and entwined your fingers together, your gaze snapping over to him.

"You okay?" he asked you, looking quickly over at you and then back to the road. You had to clear your throat to make your voice work clearly.

"Yeah, I'm okay."  You were once again having trouble thinking clearly, your mind on his thumb that was running little patterns on the back of your hand. His strong callous hand holding on tightly to your own. Your hands looked so small compared to his.

You looked up to notice that you seemed to be heading outside of town. You didn't know that you were leaving Dallas tonight. Where was he taking you? You could feel your heart racing in your chest. Was he going to bring you to California?

"Jensen...." you say tentatively, not wanting to test his authority as your husband and head of your house. Like the preacher said, like it or not, your body was no longer your own.

"What's wrong sweetheart? Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, looked nervously between yourself and the road.

"Yeah.. I'm fine, just wondering where we're going? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." you quickly looked away from him, and back out the side window, bracing yourself, not sure what his reaction would be to you questioning him. 

You'd only been married for fifteen minutes, and you already felt like you were screwing it up and making him want to get rid of you.

"Oh I'm sorry, I was concentrating on the traffic, this weather is something that I hadn't expected when I got here, and I forgot to tell you. I booked us an Airbnb to stay at for a few days while we get to know each other a little, and decide where to go from there. We're almost there, just about five more minutes." he said, squeezing your hand reassuringly.

You nodded your head, and decided you lucked out this time and he was more patient than you anticipated, still it was best not to push your luck.

"You know you don't have to be afraid of me." he said, looking over at you, his eyes meeting yours. He looked concerned, not angry, which surprised you. "I'd never do anything to hurt you. I feel like you're sitting over there terrified of me."

You mentally kicked yourself for sitting there acting like a child afraid of the monster in the closet. You were making your new husband feel like you were terrified of him, when really you didn't know what you were terrified of.

He pulled the car into the driveway of a house, which isn't what you expected at all. It was quite a cute little house, almost like a little cabin on it's own piece of land. Not some big motel, with people wondering around everywhere. 

"We're here." he said, putting the car in park and looking over at you. "Is this okay? I thought it might be more private, you know than a hotel."

"No, this is perfect! I just didn't know what to expect. I've never stayed at anything like this before."

His eyes softened as he looked at you. The rain had let up significantly, and the sun was starting to go down behind the tree line, casting just enough light in the car for you to clearly see him. Each time you looked at him, you couldn't help but feel like he took your breath away from you. He was so painfully handsome, which only amplified your insecurities that you fought to push down with everything you had.

Shrugging himself out of his suit blazer he reached over, and threw it across your shoulders, the smell of his cologne surrounded you, and immediately calmed you. He jumped out of the car in the rain, and ran around to open the door for you, pulling you close to his side as you stepped out into the steady drizzle, before running to the small porch that was attached to the house.

Once safe out of the rain Jensen reached in his pocket, and pulled out a key and quickly unlocked the door.

You waited for him to either open it or move out of the way so that you could go inside, but he did neither. Instead he turned around, and pulled you close to him, looking at you in a way that made your knees week.

Slowly, gently so as to not scare you, he leaned down and placed a feather light kiss to your lips. Your body responds to him in an instant , even though it only took you a moment to kiss him back. Your lips moving in time together, like it was second nature. For some reason that was comforting to you. If kissing him was this easy, maybe everything else would be to.

Finally breaking the kiss, Jensen pulled away, leaning his forehead to yours for a moment before gently leaning down, and as if you weighed nothing at all, picked you up into his arms. Turning to the door you didn't even notice he’d opened, he walked you both into the small little cabin.

His lips found yours again as his foot kicked the door closed, and he gently placed you on the couch in the living room, hovering his weight off of yours. Breaking the kiss he backs away from you, stopping long enough to place a light kiss to the top of your forehead.

"I'm going to go and grab our bags from the car, then I'm going to order us some takeout."

You blinked at him. Your heart sinking in your chest.

'He really didn't want you.' your mind was screaming at you again. 'See you weren't good enough for him'.

Sensing your confusion he leaned down, and placed a small kiss on your check before kneeling down beside the couch where you were sitting, putting his hands on both sides of your hips. His thumbs running little patterns on your skin just under your shirt.

"I know what you were expecting, but we have all night to get to that. You've been through a lot today, I thought maybe you might want a little time to yourself before we..." he looked down at his knees, almost like he was shy. 

That surprised you. A man that looked like that.. Shy? You didn't feel like you were anywhere near his equal. Why would he be shy around you?

"I'll go draw you a warm bath, and I'll let you know when dinner gets here. Then I'll get myself cleaned up  and we're going to get this old house cold enough for penguins to habituate, curl up in the bed and just let this happen naturally. I don't want to force this." he said, playing with your bare left ring finger before kissing you on the top of the forehead, and walking toward what you assumed was the bathroom.

You were grateful that he wasn't being forceful, and you did like the idea of having a little time alone before you had to officially become his 'wife' in the biblical sense. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as you thought it was going to be.

Five minutes later you walked into a decent sized bathroom that had a very nice jacuzzi bath on the wall of the room. Jensen had obviously put a bath bomb in, and turned the jets on for you.

The room was filled with the smell of lavender, and he'd dimmed the lights down to make it more relaxing. Looking over the vanity that sat across the room on the opposite wall, Jensen had laid out a towel and washcloth for you. It made you smile that even though he was stranger to you really, he'd taken the time to try and make you feel better in an uncomfortable situation.

Sinking into the warm water, you let it relax you, pulling away some of the stress that had been hanging over you like a dark cloud over the last week. Everything had all happened so fast. You woke up one morning and your whole life changed all in one week. 

Your parents were gone, and now you are married.

Thinking about being married brought a whole new stress to mind. 

You'd never been with a man before, even though you were 29 years old. You'd never even been given the opportunity to court anyone. Your parents always hoped Jensen would come back and claim you "when he comes to his senses." as your father always said.

From the point you were very small, you were told what was expected out of you once Jensen had claimed you as his wife.

Cooking, cleaning, nursing him back to health when he was feeling ill, baring his children if he so chose to give you any, and then raising those children, making a comfortable and safe home for him to come home to at the end of the day.

None of that scared you.

It was the fact, as your pastor not so delicately put it. "Your body is no longer your own, it belongs to him."

You were always told never to deny your husband when he comes to you. It was against the law of God to deny him the pleasure that you owed him for providing for your family. You were to under no circumstance turn him down. Period.

You were also told by friends you had made in the church that were already claimed by their husbands, that the wedding night wasn't ever really pleasant. Usually the first time being with your new husband was painful.

Just thinking about it, your stomach twisted in knots, and your hands started to shake. You knew what was expected of you. You knew in order to be fully bound to this man the way God intended, and even the law intended you had to have sex with him.

As fear of pain and blood rampaged through your mind while you lay there in the bath that he'd so graciously drawn for you, a soft knock on the door nearly made you fly out of your skin and land on the ceiling like a cat.

"Baby, the food is here."

"Baby?" you thought to yourself as you climbed out of the warmth of the water, and wrapped the towel around you. "

Are pet names normal this early?"

"Okay." you yelled back toward the door, afraid if you didn't respond he'd come in. 

You listened as his footsteps made their way back toward the living room and kitchen area. You sighed in relief as you walked over to look through your overnight bag that you'd carried in the bathroom with you.

Dressing quickly in your favorite pair of Pajama pants, and black t-shirt you made your way into where you'd heard Jensen disappear to.

He'd already gotten the food out and plated for the two of you, and was pouring wine into two glasses. He smiled softly as he heard you enter the room.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah a little." you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jensen brought the two plates of food over to the coffee table, trying to keep the situation non formal and comfortable probably. 

"Sit down and eat sweetheart." he patted the spot on the couch next to where he'd placed his own plate, and retreated to grab the wine he'd poured for the two of you out of the kitchen.

You looked at the dark red liquid that he'd placed down in front of you as you slowly started to make your way through your food. You'd never drank any sort of alcohol before. Your father hadn't allowed it.

"I thought it might help.." Jensen said, watching you closely. "You know if you were a little more relaxed tonight."

So he thought getting you tipsy would make this easier for you. Great.

You said nothing, knowing better than to challenge his authority. 

You picked up the glass, and took a test sip of the substance it contained. It wasn't an unpleasant taste, though it was different. Satisfied that you were eating Jensen turned the TV on in front of you, and tucked into his own food. Watching the highlights of the local college football game.

The sound coming from the TV was oddly comforting. It was a sound that you remember hearing every Sunday after church. Your dad would come home and turn the TV on to catch the highlights of the game that he'd missed. That little piece of home, or the alcohol you'd started to consume relaxed you a great deal.

Once you both were about two glasses in of wine, and your plates cleaned, you gathered up everything and brought it to the dishwasher. Jensen had done more than you probably should have let him already. He didn't protest, just watched you closely as you loaded the dishwasher.

Coming up behind you, he put his arms around your waist, and turned you away from the sink that you were standing in front of to face him, looking into you (y/e/c) eyes for a moment before bringing his lips to yours, kissing you with a little more force than he had before you'd gone to take a bath earlier. It damn near knocked the breath right out of you.

Jensen slipped his tongue between your lips, slowly exploring your mouth, taking his time running his tongue over yours, kissing you like you'd always dreamed someone would. Memorizing everything about you as his hands traced the hem of your shirt lightly, sending chills down your spine.

Finally he pulled away, looking into your eyes with his head resting on your forehead, his thumb tracing lightly over your cheek bone.

"I'm going to go grab a really quick shower, you wanna wait for me there." he said, jerking his head toward what you knew was the bedroom was located that was attached to the master bathroom.

You said nothing. Taking a deep breath, you nodded your head, and he placed a feather light kiss on the side of your mouth before walking away into the bathroom.

You knew you couldn't put it off forever, but the fear that gripped you was unreal as you made your way into the master bedroom and pulled the covers back, climbing in the cold sheets to wait for your husband.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @deanwanddamons​ @imabitch4jensen​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​ @lyarr24​ @amandamdiehl​

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Triumphs & Tribulations

A JSE Fanfic

This turned out surprisingly long for being written in the middle of my midterms. Probably goes to show where my priorities are when I’m writing during downtimes in class. But hey, it’s here, and at no expense to my grades! This is a big one, as Marvin’s hearing finally wraps up, Chase goes to visit someone and finds things have changed, and JJ? Well, it’s Halloween and his birthday, something’s bound to happen. Hope you enjoy it!

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

The entryway of the courthouse was busy, many people milling about. Marvin wasn’t actually surprised, after all, this was a big case for the city. But that didn’t mean he liked it. He sat on one of the benches, playing anxiously with a Rubik’s cube in his lap. Not to solve it, just to do something. His lawyer, Aja, sat next to him, looking through her files.

Someone pushed through the crowd, coming to a stop nearby. “Marvin!” she called. “Am I late?”

“Huh? Oh!” It took Marvin a moment to recognize Dr. Laurens. “No, uh, you’re fine. We’re on recess, you don’t actually go on until later.”

Laurens sighed, relieved. “Sorry, traffic. I-I went slow, too, because. Well.” She gestured to her arm, no longer in a sling but still in a cast. “Much more mobility, and my wrist is better, but I’m still supposed to be careful. When does the recess end?”

“Uhh...” Marvin checked his phone for the time. “Just a few minutes. But it’ll still be a few minutes after that before you need to testify. Right, Ms. Bakshi?”

“Right.” Aja nodded. “Don’t worry, just head into that side room. All the people called to testify are waiting in there.”

“Oh.” Laurens followed Aja’s point towards the door. “So, this is a proper trial now and everything? I was told this was just a hearing.”

“Yes, but due to the sensationalism of the case, the hearing is being treated as a trial,” Aja explained. 

“It’s stupid,” Marvin muttered. “I mean, I guess I’m glad that it’s getting attention, but I think maybe it’s a bit too much.”

“Look at it this way, now that it’s televised, public pressure will be up, and on our side,” Aja said.

“Well...good luck,” Laurens said. “I guess I’ll see you after this trial?”

“Yeah, sure,” Marvin shrugged. 

That wasn’t very encouraging. “Uh...yeah. See you then.” Laurens awkwardly backed up, then turned and hurried towards the side room door.

The small side room looked a bit like a combination parlor and waiting room, so of course Laurens was right at home. The furniture was in shades of red and brown, contrasting with the green potted plants in the corner. One of the tables against the wall had a TV on it, showing a view of the courtroom. There was another door on the opposite wall that led to said courtroom. And surprisingly, there were already two people in there.

“Oh, Dr. Laurens, I see they’ve called you to testify.”

“Ah, hello. You’re those...detectives,” Laurens recalled. “Nix, and...I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name.”

The other detective bristled, but before he could say something snappy, Nix raised a hand and quieted him down with a gesture. “This is Hooper, don’t mind him,” he said. “How have you been? I see your arm has been healing well.”

“Yeah.” Laurens rolled up her sleeve to reveal the cast on her arm. “No sling anymore, and the doctor says I might be able to lose it entirely in another week or two, though I might still need a wrist brace.” She sighed, and rolled it back down. “A-anyway, why are you two here? Are you testifying, too?”

Nix nodded. “Yes. They wanted a statement from us reassuring the court that Henrik von Schneeplestein is not dangerous.”

“He’s not.”

“Well, we know that, but the public doesn’t,” Nix explained. “For a long time, he was our only suspect in these killings.”

“Nix, he still helped,” Hooper protested.

“Under threat, while he wasn’t in his right mind,” Nix said sternly. “Is that correct, Dr. Laurens?”

“Right.” Laurens nodded faintly. She could still remember her short time with Anti and Jackie as if it was just recently. And she didn’t think anyone could last long in those conditions.

“Not to mention his original disappearance turned out to be a kidnapping,” Nix muttered, side-eyeing Hooper before turning back to Laurens. “You know, I thought it was...strange, when we finally found him. You received the report on the arrest, right?” He waited for Laurens to nod again before continuing. “Yes, the house’s doors were all locked, and they all required the use of a key on both sides in order to unlock. Yet Henrik didn’t have a key. The real killer, this Anti, must have left him behind to take the fall, possibly fleeing the scene seconds before we arrived. Henrik got convicted anyway due to all the security footage and his fingerprints being at every crime scene, but personally, I think those would be easy to manipulate.”

Before Laurens could reply—though she didn’t know what she would have said anyway—there was movement on the TV, the one showing the courtroom. It appeared as though people were entering the area, settling down in their seats. Curious, she walked over, noticing a pair of volume buttons. Turning the sound on led to a bunch of chatter.

“Looks like they’re getting ready to start again,” Hooper commented.

“Yes, it seems so,” Nix agreed. “This must be to let us know when we’re being called to testify.”

Hooper shook his head. “We could’ve refused to come in,” he muttered unhappily. “We already gave them all the relevant case files.”

“Oh come now, this would be stronger for the prosecution,” Nix said. “We just have to confirm what’s in the files and clarify any questions.”

Feeling nerves start to crawl up her stomach, Laurens took a seat in the chair closest to the TV, anxiously waiting for her cue.

It wasn’t long before the time. The hearing proceeded with statements of the charges against Newson, and her lawyer attempted to counter said charges. Marvin’s lawyer responded, and announced they had someone to testify about Newson’s malpractice. The judge called for this testimony, and Laurens stood up, just in time for one of the courtroom’s employees (she wasn’t sure what his actual job was) opened the door. She nodded at him, and hurried out.

Laurens had never been in a courtroom before, and she was surprised that it was exactly how she pictured it to be. A grand room, some tall windows, a spot for the judge and the two parties. The only difference was the camera crew set up in the aisle: about four people dressed in dark professional attire, a table with a computer and some equipment, and a large camera. There was even a boom mic, being held by one of the people. Laurens tried not to look directly into the camera as she walked across the courtroom floor and took a seat at the table the judge was pointing her to.

“Dr. Laurens.” The lawyer sitting at Marvin’s table stood up, walking around to stand close to Laurens’ table. What was her name? Bakshi? “Please state your name and occupation.”

“Oh. Right. Well, I’m Dr. Rya Laurens, I’m a psychiatrist at Silver Hills Mental Hospital,” Laurens said.

“And what exactly do you do at Silver Hills?”

“Well, uh...I-I help people, um...who have checked in. My specialty is forms of psychosis and dissociative disorders. Currently my only patient is...um, the one in question. Henrik von Schneeplestein.” Her eyes couldn’t help but drift over to look at Newson as she talked. But Newson was very deliberately not looking at her.

“I see. And your relationship with the defendant?” Bakshi waved her hand in Newson’s direction.

“She’s—she was my boss, head of the hospital,” Laurens explained.

“And how involved was she, as your boss, in your patient cases?”

“Oh, uh...normally not very. But this one was different, she got...pretty involved,” Laurens admitted.

“Can you give an example?”

“W-well, uh...” Laurens swallowed nervously. “At first she offered to take the case from me, and one time when I was sick, she took over that day’s session with Schn—the, uh, the patient. Which resulted in one of the orderlies being injured.”

“I understand that was not the only time she did this, correct?” Bakshi prompted.

“No. When I was, uh...” Laurens paused. “...unavailable for a few months, she took over the case entirely.”

Bakshi nodded. “Tell us about what happened during this period.”

Laurens took a deep breath. This was easy. She just had to...just had to do it. “Well, obviously I wasn’t there, so I don’t know the specifics of what happened in the sessions and such. I guess, uh, you could ask the orderly on duty for that. But I do know that when I returned, Schn—Henrik, the patient, had his mental health severely degraded, and had lost all progress we’d made before. He was...very upset, and his hallucinations had gotten worse. A-and also, I checked the medication records, and Newson had prescribed large doses and—and unnecessary sedatives, both of which would have an—an effect on Henrik’s physical and mental well-being.”

“And would you say she did so deliberately?” Bakshi asked.

Laurens hesitated for just a moment. “Yes, I would say so. Definitely. It was clear that Dr. Newson harbored...um, ill feelings for Henrik.”

“Thank you very much, Dr. Laurens.” Bakshi looked at the judge. “The prosecution rests our case.”

“Very well,” the judge said in a deep voice. “The defense may proceed.”

Newson’s lawyer looked uncertain, but stood up, and cleared his throat. “Dr. Laurens, would you say that...that at any point, Dr. Newson broke the regulations of Silver Hills?”

“I, uh...don’t understand the question,” Laurens said quietly.

“I mean, is it against the regulations for Dr. Newson, in her position as head of the hospital, to be involved in other cases, prescribe medicine, or take over a doctor’s case when unavailable?”

“Well, no, not technically,” Laurens said slowly. “The head doctor may do all that, though it’s not very common, as she has her own patients.”

“So at no point did Dr. Newson do anything against the rules?” The lawyer stressed.

“Wha—no, I didn’t say that,” Laurens denied. “I mean, we have a policy against taking patients you are personally involved with, and I...I understand that Dr. Newson was personally involved.” Laurens said this last part quietly. “And she didn’t tell anyone.” Then she cleared her throat. “Furthermore, the medication prescribed was dangerous and unnecessary, and qualifies as misuse. The ethics committee has a strict restriction against misuse or abuse of any kind.” Her voice became stronger. “And even furthermore, I can confirm that the sessions she had with Henrik worsened his issues. And I didn’t know it at the time, but the hospital requires all patients to be let out of their rooms at least once per day for one hour, which Henrik was denied on Newson’s orders.”

The lawyer appeared to be at a loss for words. Laurens let out a long, long breath, and ended up glancing towards Newson. She still wasn’t looking at her, and Laurens wasn’t sure if she was relieved or hurt. “Well, ah.” The lawyer cleared his throat. “Thank you for your time, Dr. Laurens. The defense rests, Your Honour.”

“Yes, I see.” The judge nodded. “The witness may leave. Though I advise you to stay near court, in case we need to hear your testimony again.”

“Ah, thank you, Your Honour.” Laurens stood up again and hurried back into the side room. That didn’t take long at all. Hopefully, this will be over sooner than she thought.

——————

Unfortunately, the hearing would drag on for some time. Marvin zoned out halfway through, playing games on his phone, while Aja did most of the talking and legal details. At one point, the judge asked him about his relation to his case, and so he put away the phone and quickly explained how he was friends with Schneep. But then he went immediately back to his phone. He knew he should probably be more engaged, as the one who started all this, but he just couldn’t help it.

Eventually the court called for a recess while the final decision was debated. “It’s looking up for us, Marvin,” Aja said with a small smile. “Though be prepared, just in case.”

“Yep, mentally ready for anything,” Marvin said absentmindedly.

Aja’s smile faded. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, trust me. I mean, I know I don’t look it, but I’m ready.”

“Hmm, alright. Just be sure.” Aja straightened her papers into a single stack.

A few minutes passed. And suddenly, Marvin got a text from Chase, letting off a loud ding! sound in the middle of the mostly-quiet room. Marv i have some big news! Im on my way to meet the kids rn but im gonna call you after to tell you.

“Huh?” Marvin said out loud, blinking in confusion. He sent a message in reply: What do you mean? Is it good or bad?

Before Chase could reply, the hearing quickly reconvened, everyone returning to their spots. Marvin put his phone down, watching the judge stand up to deliver the court’s decision. “After much deliberation, we find Dr. Jennifer Newson guilty of malpractice. As of right now, her license to practice is to be revoked, and a fine of £70,000 is to be paid to Silver Hills Mental Hospital. However, the prosecuting party Marvin Maher was in the wrong to trespass and take information from Silver Hills, and thus must pay a fine of £25,000 to that establishment.”

Marvin raised his eyebrows, visibly surprised. That was...a lot. But he could probably scrape it up. While the judge continued with the particulars, he leaned over to look at Dr. Newson. Her expression...was utterly devastated, but resigned. She knew something like this was coming. Marvin stifled his urge to give her a smug grin; no need to add insult to injury.

The hearing adjourned immediately after. Marvin and Aja headed outside quickly, so as to avoid the television crew that was now anxiously looking for people to interview. “Whoa, it’s like evening,”  Marvin gasped, looking up at the twilight sky.

“It was, uh, certainly pretty long.” Laurens appeared nearby.

“Aah! Oh, it’s just you.” Marvin relaxed.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Laurens mumbled. “But, um. Congratulations!”

“Ah, yes, thank you for your congratulations. It means a lot, considering I just got your boss permanently fired,” Marvin said, unable to keep a hint of a smile off his face.

“Well, um...I guess it was really her own fault,” Laurens said. “I mean, it’s...bad for her, but I think it was the right thing to do. If this was how she reacted with one patient, she could’ve been doing this for others, too. A-and I don’t think they would’ve revoked her license on just the first incident.”

“Well, this was a very well-known case,” Aja pointed out.

“Oh yeah, by the way, thanks for your help,” Marvin said to her. “I’ll send you the check.”

“No problem. If you’re ever in any similar trouble, let me know. You still have my card.” Aja nodded, then turned away. “I’ll be heading off now.”

“Yeah, see you. Again, thanks!” Marvin waved as Aja slowly headed off. Then he looked at Laurens. “Uh...need a ride or anything?”

“No, I drove here, but thanks,” Laurens said.

“Oh good.” Marvin paused awkwardly. “Because, uh. I didn’t. Could you, uh, drive me over to my house please?”

Laurens thought about it, then shrugged. “Sure. I don’t think it’s too far away. My car is this way.”

“Thanks so much.” Marvin hurried after her as he headed to a parking lot.

“No problem!”

And so they headed off. Marvin breathed a sigh of relief. This whole ordeal had been on his mind for so long, he was glad it was all over with. Maybe things could slowly start to return to normal soon. Or at least some semblance thereof.

——————

“So, Happy Halloween. It’s that time of year again. Pretty nice outside, too, like that sort of fall day where everything is just like, crisp and cool, y’know? Usually it’s just all foggy and cloudy and cold here. Honestly that’s one of the downsides of this part of the world, there were a lot of fall days like that when I was a kid. Or maybe that’s climate change, ha ha.”

Chase smiled a bit, leaning back in the hospital chair as he looked over at Jack. Of course, there wasn’t much of a response. But he talked anyway, as always.

“Anyway, I’m taking the kids trick-or-treating this year. That’s gonna be later, thought I’d stop by first. Stacy sent me pictures of their costumes. Nick’s a bat, and Sophie’s a cowgirl. She really likes horses lately, we were talking about having a horse-themed party for their birthday, but Stacy said that wouldn’t be fair to Nick. I dunno, he likes cowboy stuff well enough, and I think when you’re four-turning-five you don’t really have strong opinions except for a few things. Or maybe that was just me.”

Jack’s hand moved a bit, inching closer to the edge of the bed. That was happening more and more recently, which was apparently a good sign, according to Dr. Emerson. But Chase still jumped a bit as his arm and shoulder shifted position.

“Oh hey, do you remember like, two years ago when you did that, like, game thing with the videos on your channel? With all the glitchy stuff that Jackie edited? That was fun.” Chase chuckled. “Man, the community really liked that, huh? I-I tried to do a couple game things similar to that, but I’ve left all the glitchy stuff for you, don’t want to steal your thing. Nothing for Halloween, though. But I did record another pumpkin video, that’ll be going up later. If you don’t keep doing this every year once you’re better then I’ll just move it to my channel, it’s pretty fun.”

There was another twitch. Chase stopped talking for a moment as Jack’s head slowly lulled to the side, so that his face was now partially facing him. That one was new. Should he tell someone? Maybe move his head back? After a moment, Chase stood up and looked over the oxygen supply and cannula system, and concluding the movement hadn’t upset or anything, he figured it was probably fine. “Be careful, bro, don’t want to unplug shit, you need that.” No answer, but it felt a lot more personal when Jack was actually looking towards him.

Slowly sitting back down, Chase continued talking. “Oh yeah, a couple more things happening today. JJ’s birthday. I want to go visit him, but y’know. Kids. I didn’t see them last year, so.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Also about a year since we met him, so it’s kinda special. I dunno, maybe I’ll drop by real quick on the way back home. But Marvin won’t be able to visit until later, either, maybe I’ll wait. That’s the other thing, he’s in, uhhh, court, y’know? That thing about suing Schneep’s old doctor, the one who was a dick. He’s pretty confident, so I hope it’s going well right now.” He paused. “Maybe I should go see Schneep later. I mean, I can’t, visiting hours and all that, but Laurens, the good doctor, told me last week that’ll be changing soon, maybe I should stop by anyway to check, later tonight before going to see JJ.”

“Mmmmhnn.”

“But I don’t know, would that be too annoying? I don’t want to be one of those people, the ones who...wait.” Chase had been staring blankly at the opposite wall, but now he looked back over at Jack. “Did...was that...did I hear...?”

Jack’s other hand raised up briefly into the air before flopping back down. “Mmnnh. Nnnnhh.” Then his mouth opened. Just a little bit. “Uuuhhhn. Aauhh.”

“Holy shit.” For a moment, Chase just stared, in total disbelief. Then, he kept staring, unsure what to do. “Can you...do that again?”

A pause. And then some more mumbled, incoherent sounds. It might have been a coincidence that it happened after Chase asked him to do it again, but the fact remained that those were sounds. That was Jack’s voice.

“Holy shit!” Chase shot to his feet. “Hang on, I—shit—I have to get somebody!” He rushed over to the room’s closed door, throwing it open and leaning out into the hallway. “Hello?! Anyone?! There’s something—th-there’s a—he’s—!”

“Hhaaaay.” Chase whirled around as Jack made another sound. “Eeeee...?” His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, as if he couldn’t get it to form the right letters. “Ssssaaay?”

“Say? Say what?” Chase gave up on the door and hurried back over. “Are you actually trying to say something, or is this just—I-I don’t know, just—god, I don-don’t know.”

“Saayys...eeeelluh?” It sounded like a question, the way Jack’s voice was rising at the end. His hand raised and fell again, and his body turned a bit more in Chase’s direction. Wait...was doing this on purpose? Like, these movements weren’t just random muscle spasms? “Saayss...weeeluh?”

“I-I can’t understand you, bro,” Chase whispered urgently. “What’s ‘saays’?” It was only after saying it out loud that he realized. The sound Jack was making...it was almost like his name. “Are you trying to say ‘Chase’? Is that it?”

“Sss...Ssshhhaays,” Jack mumbled. “Weel? Ww...w...weellyy hhhewh?”

“Wheel? No, that can’t be it, can it? Wheely? Hewuh?” Chase shook his head. “I’m sorry, I still don’t get it.”

“Is everything alright in here?” A nurse poked her head into the room, looking worried.

Chase glanced back over towards her. “He’s speaking, h-he’s trying to say something! I—this is—he hasn’t—”

The nurse nodded, immediately grasping the situation. “Wait right here, sir, I’ll go get a doctor.”

“Dr. Emerson is in charge, if you can,” Chase called after her as she left. Then he immediately turned back to Jack. “Can you say that again?”

“Weeel...ehssss...weeeel?” The corner of Jack’s eye twitched, then he blinked. “Shhhaays?”

“Ehs wheel,” Chase repeated. “Ehs...Ihs...is? Is wheel? Is...real?” That sounded right. “Of course I’m real, Jack. You’re awake now, right?”

“Nnn...nahhh...” Another blink. “Naahh...ffff...ffffff...fffffayy?”

“Nah fay? No fey? Like fairies?”

“Nnnah. Nnauuhh...fffffaay...ffffay...ffffay—” Jack made a strange harsh breathing sound. He seemed to be having trouble with that word, but Chase was pretty sure the repetition meant he was really trying to communicate.

“Take it easy, bro.” Chase reached up and took hold of Jack’s arms on either side, gently. He glanced over towards the vitals monitors. They seemed increased in activity, but not to dangerous levels. “Okay, that’s nauh...maybe it’s not ‘no’, it’s ‘not’? Not fay? Fay fay fay...fffate. Faith. Fail. Fade. Fake. Not fake?” Chase smiled a bit. “What, is there a fake Chase running around?”

Jack groaned quietly. “Ffff...ffayy Shh...Shhaaaysss. Ffayy Shhayss. Ffayy mmm...mmmahhffnn.”

“Muffin? No, that makes no sense,” Chase muttered. Maybe it was another name? After all, it would make sense in the context of Jack saying Chase’s own name.

“Ffaay Shaayys. Fffay mmm...Mmahfffvfnn.”

Chase’s expression fell, cold dread filling his heart. “Fake Marvin,” he realized. “That’s what you’re trying to say, isn’t it? Fake Chase, Fake Marvin. Jack, was...was there someone here pretending to be us? Do you...remember that?”

“Fffayy Shaaayss. Ffaaay Mmahffn.” Jack’s head listed slowly to the side. His eyes remained staring straight, causing his gaze to shift. “Ffaay Shayyss. Fffayy Mmahffnnn. Ffayy ahhhshee? Ffaaay shnnneee?”

Footsteps pounded against the floor, and Chase looked back to see the nurse returned, Dr. Emerson in tow. “Mr. Brody!” Emerson looked flushed, as if he’d run all the way here. “Is it true?”

“Y-yeah.” Chase nodded. “Yeah, it’s—”

“Mmmmn.” Jack’s head rolled back around, falling forward. The force of the motion caused the rest of his body to lean forward, too, until his head hit Chase’s chest. “Sshhaays. Fffff...ffffffeh...”

“My god,” Emerson said, stunned. He gestured to the nurse, who hurried around the side of the bed to look at the readings from the equipment. “When did this start? Has he said anything clearly?”

“Uh, about a minute ago.” Chase lifted Jack’s head up and gently pushed him back into place. Jack groaned, and his hand shook irregularly. “I-I don’t know what you mean by ‘clear,’ I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s trying to say something, but there are, uh...n-no words that you can just hear. It’s all mumbled and slurry.”

“I see, I see.” Emerson hurried over, quickly looking over the equipment as well before leaving that to the nurse. “What about movements? Gaze?”

“He’s just looking straight ahead, but his eyes are staying open. Moving is, uh, random, but I think it’s deliberate? He just can’t make it happen.”

“Alright, I understand.” Emerson leaned over Chase’s shoulder. “Jack, this is very important. If you can hear me, try to say something. Try to say your name.”

Jack blinked slowly. “Eeuhh...aaaah...aaa—aaa—” Another harsh exhale. His mouth moved silently for a few seconds. “Zzzhh...zzhaah—aa—” And yet another harsh breath.

“That certainly sounded like an attempt, it had the ‘aah’ sound in the middle.” Emerson nodded. “Alright, then. Can you raise your hand, Jack? Either one of them.”

“Hhhh...” Jack’s right hand trembled for a bit, then slowly lifted up a few inches before falling back down.

“This is good, this is very very good.” Emerson backed up. “Nurse, has there been any change?”

“No sir, everything’s stable.”

“Hey, uh, Dr. Emerson?” Chase looked up. “I—I might have to go now.” He wanted to stay, he really did, but he couldn’t just abandon Stacy and the kids.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Brody,” Emerson said reassuringly. “We have everything under control.”

“Nnnnih—!” Jack’s head turned. “Sshhaays. Shaaayyss.”

“I know, Jack, but it’s okay.” Chase reached over and squeezed Jack’s hand. “These guys know what they’re doing. And I’ll be back tomorrow. Do you understand?”

“Nnnnmm.” Jack blinked, and squeezed back.

“Okay.” Chase reluctantly let go, and stood up. “Take care of him, doc.”

“We will, Mr. Brody,” Emerson said. “Count on it. You go have fun on this holiday.”

“Yeah. Well, bye.” Slowly, Chase turned around and left the hospital room, leaving the business behind. His head felt a bit full with everything that happened, and as he walked to the elevator he tried to process it all.

Good news, Jack was definitely awake again, and somewhat coherent. What would happen next was unsure, but even getting to this point after over a year was a weight off everyone’s shoulders. But those comments he made still lingered in Chase’s mind. Was he really interpreting them correctly? Did Jack really have some memory of...fakes?

Maybe he shouldn’t really take any of that at face value. He’d read somewhere that people in comas often took nearby stimuli, like sound and voices, and turned that into dreams. Well, he’d also read that some remembered nothing and others remembered everything. It must depend on the specifics of what happened to them. But, on the off chance that Jack had been in that last kind of coma, and he remembered everything that happened...if that was the case, then Chase knew one person who might be able to explain the “fakes.” After all, he knew that Anti has visited the hospital at least once, pretending to be Chase himself.

He pressed the button to call the elevator, and the doors opened almost immediately. Stepping inside, he took out his phone and unlocked the screen, staring at his messages. Should he tell the others about that? Well, of course, but should he tell them now? After all, Marvin was probably still in court, and JJ didn’t even know Jack. After a moment, he decided to send a quick text to Marvin, telling him that he had big news and that he’ll call him later. And so, typing out the message and then putting his phone back into his pocket, he pressed the down button, and the elevator started to descend.

——————

The sky was twilight through the window. JJ stared out at the street below, then closed the curtains and sat down on the sofa, letting out a long sigh. Evening on his twenty-seventh birthday. It hadn’t been a very eventful day, if he was being honest, but he actually quite liked that. Some peace and quiet after things being rather stressful lately. The celebration could come later. Though, if he remembered correctly, ‘later’ might actually be quickly approaching. After all, if the televised hearing was any indication, his friends’ all-day business would probably be wrapping up soon.

As if on cue, the intercom system let out the ding! sound that meant someone was in the lobby, asking to be buzzed into the apartment building.  Standing up, he walked over and pressed the button, making a whistling sound.

“JJ? It’s me! Buzz me in.” Only Marvin could say ‘it’s me’ and immediately expect everyone else to be on the same page. JJ pressed the button to let him into the apartments.

The knocking on the door came a few moments later. JJ hurried over to open it, revealing Marvin standing on the threshold and bouncing anxiously. “Hey!” Marvin smiled. “I brought cupcakes. Just store-bought, but you know.” He held up a plastic container of six cupcakes, chocolate with blue frosting. In addition to those, he also had a bag slung over his shoulder.

JJ smiled. Hey, anything is good, especially when it’s chocolate. He stood aside, letting Marvin walk into the apartment. I was watching the hearing on TV. Congratulations.

“Still can’t believe they filmed it,” Marvin said, setting the cupcakes down on the counter. “But yeah, right? I mean, finally. They just dragged this whole thing on and on, and it’s like ‘was my evidence not enough for you’?”

Well, you did sneak into the building and steal some of it, JJ pointed out.

“And?” Marvin chuckled. “Anyway, more important things to talk about. Happy birthday, JJ! You’re finally catching up to the rest of us! How’s it feel to finally be 27?”

Exactly the same, in all honesty. JJ opened the cupcake container and pulled one out. He paused, then set it down on the counter so he could sign. Though twenty-six was a good year in my life, if I must say. After all, it’s when I meant you.

“I—” Marvin stammered. “Well—that’s just—”

JJ smiled. I see I’ve flustered you.

Well you can’t just say something like that without warning, Marvin signed. That’s too sweet, I wasn’t prepared.

It’s fine, take a moment. JJ picked up the cupcake again, carefully peeling away the paper. He ate slowly, careful to not get any frosting on his mustache.

“So, uh...what were you thinking for tonight?” Marvin looked around the apartment. “You didn’t really have any decorations, I see. Not even any balloons?”

Oh, I’m not a balloon person, I don’t like it when they pop. JJ walked over to the trash can and dropped the paper inside.

Marvin raised an eyebrow. “You ate that fast.”

Shush, it was a really good cupcake. JJ shrugged. Anyway, as for what I had planned...not much. I just wanted to hang out. I was thinking we could play Minecraft or something, I’ve been doing a lot of that recently. Did you bring your laptop?

“Oh. No, I didn’t. Should I have?” As if to double-check, Marvin looked inside his back. “Shit, I forgot to stop by my house and pick up your present, I just rushed straight over here.”

It’s fine, it was just an idea. And you didn’t need to bring a present today, either, JJ assured him. Then he paused. Is that a new bag?

“No, it’s an old one, I couldn’t find my normal one this morning,” Marvin explained. “Uh...yeah I got nothing in here. Sorry.”

Well, at least you brought cupcakes. JJ tapped the plastic container. Did you want one, too?

Marvin hesitated. “No, it’s fine. I mean, not right now. Later. We have all night, right?”

That’s true. But are you sure? You must be hungry, after being at that trial all day.

“I had snacks, it’s fine.” Marvin shrugged it off. “Well, anyway, back to the topic at hand, is there anything you really want to do? You’re the birthday boy.”

JJ pursed his lips, thinking. Well, I think I have some multiplayer games kicking around somewhere. Let me check.

It took them a while to find something. Marvin didn’t give that many suggestions, insisting that JJ choose since it was his birthday. Which, while Jameson really appreciated the gesture, seemed a bit...odd. Marvin always had something to say about group activities. But maybe after such a long day, he didn’t really have the energy to think much about it.

Eventually, JJ settled on rigging his computer up to a pair of controllers, and projecting the image on screen to the television. That took about fifteen minutes to do alone, but from there, he just had to select Stick Fight from Steam and it was ready to go.

“Hmm, is it really fair to play a fighting game against someone who can’t return any trash-talking comments?” Marvin wondered.

Well, that’s never stopped you or Chase before, JJ joked. Though do you think we should wait for him? I know he likes this game, and I’m sure he’ll be done with his kids soon. How long does trick-or-treating take?

“I don’t know. A couple hours?” Marvin bit his lip, considering. “Why are you asking me? You’ve been trick-or-treating, right?”

I think I went once as a kid, JJ recalled. And...once later, but it doesn’t really count when you’re a teenager, does it?

“Well, I think it counts,” Marvin said softly.

JJ shrugged, and looked away. One year, he went out on Halloween with Anti; the year he was sixteen. That first year was pretty fun at the time, but it was different looking back on it. Thinking about it just made him feel...well, it was a big mix of emotions in there, positive and negative. As were a lot of emotions attached to doing fun things with Anti. He’d been working on figuring them out and accepting him in his therapy sessions, but this wasn’t the time to get into thinking about that. It was his birthday. He was going to have fun. Didn’t you go trick-or-treating? Why don’t you know how long it takes?

“Well, uh...no,” Marvin admitted. “Once. But like you, I was already pretty old. Eighteen, that’s even an adult. I guess the time you’re allowed to stay out late will vary between kids and teenagers, so we’re not really good judges for when Chase will be done.”

It can’t be that long. The kids are only four, after all, no matter how energetic they are.

“Well, in that case, I think Chase will forgive us for starting a little early.” Marvin smiled. “C’mon, I’m excited.”

They played a few rounds—which went really fast in this particular game, so honestly, they played through practically all the levels—but as time went on, Jameson found it difficult to concentrate. His thoughts started to drift...and become a little foggy. He blinked slowly, and yawned. Why was he so sleepy all of a sudden?

“That’s the tenth time you’ve lost in a row,” Marvin pointed out, as his yellow stick figure destroyed Jameson’s blue one. “Are you feeling okay?”

JJ put down the controller and signed, I’m just a little tired, it’s okay.

“Ah. Did you have a long day?”

No, not really. I didn’t have work, so I just stayed in all day. I suppose I could’ve gone out for lunch or something, but...he hesitated.

“But?” Marvin prompted.

Well, there was something that happened last week, Jameson signed slowly. Someone followed me home.

“Really? Are you sure?”

JJ nodded slowly, stifling another yawn. Positive. I didn’t recognize him, but it scared me, so I’ve been inside since then.

“That’s probably not a good thing,” Marvin muttered. “Do you want to go out tonight for dinner or something? If there’s two of us, then nothing will happen.”

Jameson shook his head. No, it’s fine. I’m too tired to go out anyway. Strange, though. I...not...don’t know why. His signs slowly fell apart as his train of thought got lost in the brain fog.

“Maybe you should take a nap, then,” Marvin suggested.

No. No, maybe it’s just dark or something, that can make you sleepy. JJ knew on some level that logic didn’t fully make sense, but he didn’t care. He stood up, swayed for a bit, then walked over to the nearest lamp. But just before switching it on, a strange, powerful wave of drowsiness overcame him, and he stumbled, and ended up holding onto the lamp for support.

“Are you alright? Don’t fall.” Marvin stood up as well and hurried over to join him.

Fine, Jameson signed loosely. He managed to flip on the light switch before losing his balance again. His muscles felt so weak all of a sudden, barely able to hold him up. What was...what was going on? This wasn’t...normal.

The lamp started swaying. “Be careful there.” Marvin grabbed JJ as he fell again, but the lamp toppled with him. Its lampshade tilted, directing the light from the bulb directly at Marvin’s face. “Aak! God damn it, just—hang on a moment, that went right in my eyes.”

Jameson frowned. Was...was it just him, or was something...wrong, there? In Marvin’s eyes. He felt a bit bad about looking directly into them, knowing how Marvin felt about eye contact, but...something was off. What was it? What...was it?

Marvin pushed the lamp away, only for it to tilt back. “Fuck this lamp,” he said under his breath, squinting against the light that was once again too close to his face. The...light? The light, the light...

There. There was the problem. It wasn’t anything wrong with Marvin’s eyes themselves, it was the way they were reacting to the light. One was reflecting an image of the lightbulb that was a little too perfect, a little too much like a mirror. The right eye, in fact. Also, the way Marvin’s head was turned, the lamp was shining right into his right eye, but he didn’t really squint until he turned slightly and caused the light to be more visible in his left eye. Almost like...he couldn’t see out of the right one.

Jameson let out a fearful squeak, and wriggled away from ‘Marvin’s’ grip. He fell directly onto the floor, not reacting fast enough to catch himself, but immediately tried to get up again. Yet his head was too clouded, movements...slowing...

“Hey, what’s wrong?” ‘Marvin’ reached down to help Jameson up, only to have his hand swatted away. “What’s—” He stopped. Jameson’s eyes were scanning the right side of his face, as well as his neck. And slowly, he grinned. “Oh, you figured it out, huh? Well, you were always pretty smart, Jamie.”

And with that, Jameson’s fears were confirmed. Nobody else called him that. He backed up until he hit the back of one of the chairs, then tried to grab onto that and use it to pull himself to his feet. There wasn’t much success, but...but he had to...to...what was wrong with him? Why...was he so...so...tired?

Anti didn’t look too concerned with Jameson’s reaction. He didn’t even chase after him. Instead he reached up to his face, and—“It’s pretty good, right?” The fake right eye came out cleanly, and Anti held it up. The glass eye wasn’t a sphere, but more of an irregular dome-like shape. Anti slipped it into his pocket. “His eye color is actually a bit different from mine, you know? A bit lighter. I debated if I should just use the one that matched my natural color, but I thought it would be better if I just went all the way and got the actual shade, then used a contact for the one...left.” He laughed at his own joke.

Jameson gave up on trying to stand up, and instead started fumbling with his pocket. If he could...could get his phone out, he could...text someone...get help...

“What’re you doing?” Anti quickly walked over, kneeling next to Jameson. He easily got through Jameson’s small attempts to push him away, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Oh. No, you can’t have that.” Anti tossed the phone across the room, hitting the wall by the door. “Sorry.”

JJ looked after it with a sinking heart. He couldn’t possibly...move to the door...or somewhere. He could barely move. Maybe he could...call for help? But as always, his voice didn’t cooperate with what his...what his mind wanted.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” Anti said, oddly reassuringly. “The effects will wear off after a while, you’re not dying or anything. Just going to sleep for a bit. Sorry about that, too, but I thought you wouldn’t come with me if you knew who I was. And this shows I was right.” He gestured vaguely at Jameson’s continued attempts to get away from him. “I know your recent impression of me hasn’t been...favorable.”

Jameson could barely keep his eyes open, but he kept trying to inch away from Anti. This...couldn’t be...happening...

“Do you know what this feels like?” Anti whispered. “I thought you were dead, Jamie. For years. And once I find you, you’re just...here? In your own little world? Forgotten me?” He reached under his shirt and grabbed something tightly. And he smiled wide. “Well, no more. Now we’re together again. I know you’re a bit freaked out now, but trust me. It’ll be fine. Just like it used to be.”

The last thing Jameson did was shake his head, before finally closing his eyes and slumping over. Just like it used to be. Nothing scared him more.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

YES MA’AM- REQUESTS ARENT OPEN AT THE MOMENT I HAVE SOME TO FINISH AND ILL OPEN THEM BACK UP!

Summary: he makes it up 🥸

Warnings: soft smut? Language, acting drunk to leave, a jealous Tom holland, NOT PROOF READ

A/n: SORRY THIS TOOK ME SOOO LONG, I WAS LIKE MENTALLY PANICING AND WASNT IN THE RIGHT HEAD SPACE

T.H| Oop-

“I mean am I sleeping over though? Because I didn’t get these chocolate cakes for no reason, zendaya” you eye your phone. “Yes we will have a marathon of Harry Potter” you let out a little ‘yes’ “stop cheering y/n, and Toms gonna be there” “as in...” “yes. Tom holland, impossible tom holland” “REEEEE” you and zendaya have been best friends for what felt like foreverrr, like dramatically long, you played as one of her love interests.

But you’ve had a crush on Tom holland for longer, you had him on your wall, just kidding. But everyone in your family, mostly your mom said “oh you like snow flakes?” “Interracialllllll” “alright give me my privileged babies soon” “damn I kinda took you for the Asian type” “yeah I thought you liked BTS” “UK accents is hella annoyin, find someone else” “would you stop hoggin the TV? I’m tryna watch American Top Model!” “Nah let’s watch basesketball-“ anyways, ya you have annoying, irritating family, oh well.

“You think he likes dark skinned type?” “He likes girls with aggressive tans I know that much” “that isn’t helpful” “hey I’m just being honest” she shrugged looking at you through the phone as she picked up her makeup brush. “So what are gonna do for your birthday?” “I-uhhhh probably clubbing?” “As in golf?” “No, party y/n” she glared at you as you chuckled.

“Please ask hunter when we are getting married” “y/n, I know you have an insane crush on her to but it’s just never gonna happen, she’s mine” you stuck out your tongue at her as she did the same chanting “she’s mine, she’s mine” “whatever I need to get ready” “bye papas” “bye mamas” you hung up, instantly going to your closet and pulling out the dresses you have, only to put them back and grab a two piece, it’s neon yellow, the pants are high waisted, no belt, the top stopping right below your boob, the straps at the end of your collar bone.

For accessories you put on some black dangle earrings and a black purse, a gold but matching watch, but you put on sandals, no high heels because the pants were covering your feet anyways, for your hair you put on your wet and wavy lace front, you added lip gloss to your lips, and they look like glass, in a good way of course, the fox eyeliner with thick parted eyelashes and a neon eyeshadow with it. You brushed your eyebrows up and boom your done.

You stepped back and went to your full body mirror, checking your butt and your boobs, smiling at yourself “you look fine” you sigh, grabbing your bag, phone, and keys.

You phone rung and you answered. “Yes z?” “Are you picking me up?” “Yeah sure babe, I’ll be there soon” “alright bye” she hung up. Luckily for you, you just got your 1966 mustang, vibrant white baby, everyone would wanna touch your car, you named him KAI, stands for kiss ass ight. The License plate saying “white ssn”. (I’m sorry but I really like these old kinds of cars, I fucking had to) you hoped in your car and drove to dayas home, you picked her and her brother up, just listening to old 2000’s and 1900s songs, either rapping or singing your asses off.

You guys were there pretty early but of course you were, it’s her birthday, she didn’t want to dance yet because of her makeup and you felt the same, leaving her brother smacking his lips and eyes glued to his phone.

Now everyone was starting to come, hunter, Jacob, alexia, Barbie, everyone, and most importantly, Thomas Stanley holland. No cap you bout dead as fuck, did I mention you run on Red Bull’s? Just kidding. You remained calm, hugging hunter and talking to her. “Hey” zendaya said, grabbing your hand and pulling you up, pulling you to Tom. “Hi Thomas, this is y/n” “the one and only?” He laughed, making you both giggle. “Yeah” she nodded, Tom got up, opening his arms and she pinched you, silently telling you to hug him. And you did, taking a breath you smelled him, he smelled really good, sexy and musky, like something you’d want to smell all day.

“You smell nice” Tom whispered. “Yeah you too” you smiled, pulling back from his hands as he nodded at you and sat back down, you looked and zendaya as she silently cheered, you walked back over to hunter and ordered something to drink. “So you and Tom?” She asked, you only rolled your eyes. “You know I’ve had a crush on him for years now but I don’t think I’ll be making any progress” you thanked the person as they handed you the cheerily temple. “Whattt? This is your chance to get drunk and confess your feelings, like wake up in the morning with him” you smacked your lips at her “girl I don’t know, and I wouldn’t want him to forget what happend” you shrugged. She put her hand on your shoulder making you look at her “take a shot, before zendaya pressures the fuck out of you both” she warns, making you sigh and throw yourself back in the seat.

“I know and that’s the problem, I don’t think-“ “you’ve had a crush in him for years y/n, you can make this a reality, you don’t have to dream anymore” zendaya whispered in your ear “I told you” hunter smiled. “Fuck stop smiling at me like that, you’re gonna make me fall in love all over again” you said making them both laugh. “Okay Cupid what’s your plan?” “Don’t worry bout it alright girl?” “Alright”

“Harrison fuck off it’ll happen when it happens” “well it seems like she’s bored, I’ll go entertain her” “don’t you fuckin dare haz, I’ll beat the shit out of you” instead of haz getting up Harry did, he walked over to you and sat down next to you, the lights and music booming as he took out his camera. “Hey” he smiled at you. “Hi, I’m-“ “y/n, yeah I know, I’m Toms brother, Harry” he held out his hand and you took it. “I thought you looked really beautiful- I was just wondering if you wanted to take a few pictures?” “Oh I’m not the picture type” “pleaseee?” He beggged, you giggled and nodded. “Alright” he took a few pictures of you as Tom stared at you.

“He’s tottaly gonna get instead of you” Harrison whispered in his ear, making Thomas slap his arm “shut up div, I’m just gonna wait here and I’ll see what happens” he told haz his game plan, no progress. Zendaya walked over “I know you like y/n, please hit on her, you both would look so good together, you’d bring me smoll Bebes-“ “Jesus zendaya we get it” Tom rolls his eyes as haz lets out distant chuckles.

“This is so awkward, he doesn’t like me and-“ you sighed. “Oh my god, you never give up so easily y/n, what’s wrong you’ve liked him since preteens” hunter asked in all seriousness. “Are you talking about Tom?” Harry asks, both of you looking at him and letting out a way to fast “no” leaving Harry in giggles. “Well I wish I could help you but I don’t know anything” he shrugs, you soon see Tom make his way over to you, standing infront of you. He clears his throat to say something big but only lets out an-

“Hey” you wave back at him, hunter silently cringing, feeling the tension able to cut it with a butter knife. “Your so fücked” Harry laughed, Tom glaring at him but smiling back at you. “Uhm, how’s your day?” “To be honest I’m having a bit of anxiety right know” you both laughed “me too, yeah” he nods his head. “Look you don’t have to really speak to me if you don’t want to” you laughed “I think we both know-“ “zendaya” you both said. Hunter looked at Harry, panicking for you as you remained calm. “Okay- yeah- thanks” he smiled, as you returned, he walked off.

“You fucked up” “well what was I supposed to do Harry? Suck his dick?-“ “it would’ve made some progress” “shut up hunter” “I feel awkward for you” “second hand emarrassment hunter” “well you knew what I meant Harry so we are all good” you looked at them both “I’m fucked” they just both agree with you. “I think I’m gonna go” “then I’m coming!” Hunter said. “How are you gonna leave zendaya?” You only picked up his beer can, winking at him and hunter ‘helped’ you out.

“Woah woah woah where are you two going?” Zendaya asked, the shit in her hand as she looked confused. “She’s drunk” “whattttt no I’m nottt” zendaya looked at you as your eyes were barely opened, taking your finger and pushing it against hunters lips dramatically. “Let me tell yaa E sevret” you whispered at zendaya, you came close to her ear, “I’m so naw dunk” “you drunk, get out of here, Tom will give me a ride” zendaya waved you both off, Harry soon running up “let me get your number at least, yeah?” “Sureeeee” you wink at him, he hands you a pen and you write your number, a nice happy face next to it.

“Let’s get you home, nice show you out on” you took your time, trying to look drunk as possible. “My whole life is madness! I can’t- he doesn’t like me I promise you” you say, pulling out of the parking lot, hunter right next to you. “He does, let’s bet on it” “how much?” “200” “shake on it?” She handed you her hand and you shook it. “SOMETIMES YOU LAUGH SOMETIMES YOU CRY I GUESS YOU KNOW NOWWW, I TOOK THE HALF AND SHE TOOK THE WHOLE THING SLOW DOWNN” you both sung together “BABY” you both both failed the note, laughing together as you rode both of you home.

“She left” zendaya shruged, “what why?” “Shes black out drunk” Tom put his eyebrows together, he was litterally with you like a couple minutes ago, sober as hell. “Yeah... alright” he nodded, Harry took out his phone and sent you a simple hey, which you returned under a minute later.

Everyone had a lot of fun, you and hunter ordering some random stuff off of Amazon and making the cake that you would both send to zendaya the next day, on the other side everyone danced and drank, they were sober enough to go eat at least. “Who are you texting?” Tom asked Harry. “Y/n, she’s showing me the things that she’s ordering or something like that, I wonder why she’s a Harry Potter addict” toms jaw slightly clenched, “can I see?” He asked, Harry looked at him, forgetting that you’re supposed to be ‘drunk’ “Nah mate, she’s drunk texting me though” “bulshit, give me the phone” Harry sighed as he gave tom the phone, scrolling through the text messages the messages were alive, not dead at all, no lols, laughing emojis, more ‘lmao’ ‘AKDIHDIHFRJRFN-‘ ‘I- what? Okay-‘ he couldn’t help but be jealous, he handed Harry back the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, looking at Tom confused. “You know I like her” “it didn’t seem like it back there” Harry smirked. “Do you like her?” Tom asked, Harry only shook his head “all for you, just making conversation and trying to pull her closer” “whattt Harry got the digits and you didn’t?” Haz whispered, “fuck off”

“But this is like, really ugly” “that’s why it’s called an ugly Christmas sweater, y/n” you layer on her arm, looking at Kohl’s, “green for sure, red is just plain” “how about we get like onzies of animals or the incredibles” hunter looked at you “perfect, yeah” you nod ferociously.

You checked your phone and saw some messages, from you dad and you mom but also Harry, you were quick to answer them all, and as the night got old you had finished the cake.

“I don’t know mate do some research on her, watch her interviews” haz suggests as they were all home, Tom mentally panicking because Harry’s eyes was glued to his phone, he whipped out his computer and searched your name, ‘Y/N has a CRUSH on who?’ He bit his lip and clicked it

“Sooo, we know your the romantic type- so who were you in love with?” The interviewer said, you smiled and shook your head. “I’ve always had a crush on Evan peters, algee smith from let it shine, Keith powers, and of course Tom holland, I don’t know but just in all his movies he was the cutest thing” you giggled, putting a leg over the other. “That’s a lot of people” “hey, I only crush on one now, and yes it’s Tom holland” the girl raised her eyebrows at the camera “you make sure you hit her up” “please do” you wink at the camera, “now, you feel sexy most when?” “Probably when I take a shower and put on my silk robe” you shrugged.

“Silk? Sexy” Tom smiled to himself, imagining you in it, maybe a towel over your freshly washed hair, lingerie under, maybe a mustard yellow to match your skin, his eyes widened in shock as he felt uncomfterble in his pants, he looked down at his pants “fuck, not now!”

“Are you really crying?” Hunter asked. “No I’m having an emotional roller coaster” “so your feeling different emotions, your so bipolar” hunter laughs, “your not helping you know” she only shrugged at you, then the door was knocked on “I’ll go get it” “alright” you acted sleep, thinking that it was probably zendaya and... you were right. “Hey is she sleep?” She asked, hugging hunter. “yeah, but come in- she’s on the couch” hunter smiled, hearing zendayas foot steps and she giggled “she’s sober by now” she bent down, wiggling your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hiiiii” she waved at you, you only waved back, then she laid down next to you, her glasses on and in her sweatpants and a black t-shirt. “So you and Tom didn’t work huh?” She whispered and you only shook your head no, a tear fell down your cheek as she coed at you, wiping it away. “He’s stupid, he will come around one day yeah?” You nodded at her, “did you make the cake?” She asked and you nodded again. “Let me show you, come here” hunter said, she looked at you, you looked pretty lifeless at the moment honestly. Hunter and zendaya left and you checked your phone.

Ding

Your eyebrows furrowed at the anonymous message. You opened it and it said-

Hey it’s Tom, I was wondering if you’d like to get lunch yeah?

You texted him back-

As In... Tom holland orrrr...

Tom smiled at his phone

Yes y/n, Tom holland here, take it while you can

Cocky asshat

He laughed at your reply sending winking emojis,

Yeah lunch, I’ll see what I can do

Cya love

Bye luv

As time passed Tom looked at your work, your charity events, your women’s rights, your debates, your everything. He grew more interest then he already did, already wishing to work with you. “Hamburgers? What if she’s vegan, fuck” he only searched up what food you like, “burrito truck?” He could tell you weren’t like the other people with loaded of money, you were more of the cheap rich, not a bad thing but a very good one. “Sparkling water? That doesn’t really go with burritos, she doesn’t like cheese by it’s self or where you can taste it over anything, she sticks to the basics, god I need a pen and paper for this” “I got it, lover boy” Harry says, throwing it at him.

“Hey your the one who’s trying to take her away from me” “no that’s not true, I was trying to help you actually, her favorite color is (y/f/c) she likes nature or a big view of the city, beach sometimes, she actually wants a beach house” he shrugged, Tom smiled and thanked him, writing some things down

-nature, somewhere green for lunch

-quiet too, somewhere not to public

-sparkling water for sure, no burritos though

“Shit I don’t know, chicken or something!” Tom struggled.

-fruits, nuts, macoroons, nuts, wine

He smiled at the ugly written bullet points, “aha” he then took his phone, biting his lips as he tried to find the perfect place.

“He asked me to lunch last night” you smiled, hunter and zendaya looked at each other, mouths agape as they laughed. “Really? Oh my god y/n can I be the god mom?” “Oh I’ll be the god dad all the way!” Hunter added as you laughed and shook your head, you’ve been on a Harry Potter marathon all night, now your on a Star Wars one, so many tears fell of your face, you cried for draco, zendaya cried for George and Fred, hunter cheered on voldermort, which almost got her kicked out, how petty.

“What if it’s only lunch?” You asked, looking at hunter and zendaya. “I mean, yeah it is only lunch” hunter shrugged making zendaya slap her arm. “No it isn’t, you are probably gonna get laid and he’s gonna confess his love to youuu, then you both naked and kissing” “ew don’t make me imagine that” hunter shuddered, sticking out her tongue. “Welp we are staying here when you leave” “how do you know I won’t be back?” “Because I know things”

Tom spent his day visiting places, until he found the perfect one, green and the ocean? Best thing ever. It was pretty too, no plastic, no damage to the ground, the ocean is to be heard, perfect for you and Tom. He texted you to get ready, it was about 6, he bought everything he needed for it, put the ice cream in the cooler with ice in it.

“Alright, this one” hunter held up a dress, a small slit but it was a sweater dress, like for the fall or winter, it’s white with brown buttons that go down to the end of your stomach, the dress stops in the middle of your thighs. “Then wear some comfterble shoes please, we don’t want you to run your toes” zendaya said, pulling out some neon yellow huaraches. “That doesn’t match” hunter said, zendaya put the shoes back and pulled out some dark dark black ones.

You got dressed, comfterble for sure, zendaya flat ironed your hair while hunter did your makeup, “alright” zendaya and hunter admired their art, high giving each other before turning you to the mirror, “don’t worry it’s sweat resistant” hunter said, zendaya laughed as you rolled your eyes shaking your head. Then of course their was a knock on your door. “I’ll get it” zendaya said, you went to your room and grabbed your phone, noticing you have no pockets you held it. “Keep your hands off of my girlfriend, have fun though!” Zendaya said, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you came out and seen everyone smiling at you

“What happened?” You asked as everyone shook their head. “Nothing!” Hunter said smiling at you, Tom came up and gave you flowers, not roses but daises “you look lovely” he says, giving you a hug, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis, not in a Percy way of course, just a very friendly and close hug. “Can you put these in a vase for me?” You say, handing the flowers to hunter as she only smiled and made her way to the kitchen. “Have fun, once again, we want her back by 10” “that’s only 4 hours zendaya” “we’ll make your way over there, it’s starting to become late” “alright mother, we’re out” you sarcastically say, leaving Tom laughing as he takes your hand and pulls you to his-

“El Camino!?” You said, practicly smiling a a child when they get ice cream. “Yep, I know how much you like old cars so why not get you one right?” He squeezed your hand. “Oh I could so kiss you right now!” “I wanna save it for later, let’s go” he smiled at you, he pulled you to your seat and opened the door for you, you sat down and he closed it, running to his side and getting in. “Your pretty fast” “shut up” he laughed and started the car, Kendrick Lamar playing in the background as you both rode in the city.

It was silent but comfterble, you slipped your phone in the cup holder, played footsie with yourself, and almost shook when he placed his hand on your thigh, you looked at him and he smiled at you “warm” he only said, paying attention to the road, rocking his hand back and forth.

“I love this, you gave me all the things I love tonight” you smiled. “You now at the birthday party I didn’t show that I liked you” he commented, laying in his stomach ontop of the very large blanket as you sat with your legs closed. “Yeah I don’t think you like me... I know if it’s weird and-“ “what no I like you! I do! I’m just stupid, like zendaya would say, so” you both giggled as he sat up and grabbed a grape vine, it has grapes on it by the way. “Lay down” he smiled, and you followed, laying down. “I’ve seen all the work you’ve done” he smiled, the radio in the band Toto playing, Africa currently playing. He leaned down the grape and feed it to you and you chuckled. “I really like how dedicated you are, how hard working you are, how nice you are, everything about you is beautiful” he complemented, the moon popping out for the ocean, the sounds of water slapping the rocks calming the both of you.

“Well thank you” you say, done with the grapes he fed you, he fed you some more. “I bought ice cream” “what kind?” “Uhmmmm, not vanilla, cookies and cream!” “Doesn’t that have vanilla in it?” You looked at him, he shrugged and put the grapes down and took the ice cream out of the freezer “I didn’t know you were such a 80s fan, what would you bring back?” He asked you. “Probably all the color, the music, I love mullets and shags I just love it all, how everything was in fashion, freedom and dumb teenagers and yelling old people, ya know?” “So your a very detailed person?” “Yeah, I don’t pay attention to the big picture that much if I’m being honest” ‘it never rains in Southern California, by tony’ playing, now the moon full on display, he grabbed two spoons and handed it to you, you both grabbed a scoop. “Let’s try something”

“Like what?” “Cross my arm with yours yeah?” You wrapped your arm around his, your spoon facing you “and 3” he said, taking the ice cream in his mouth as you followed, giggling “I like the flavor” you covered your mouth. “See! I knew what I was talking about, and doing!” He cheered, you both laid side by side and looked at the view, still eating the ice cream of course, until he put his lips on yours. “I really like you y/n, I hope-“ you put your lips on his, holding onto his cheek you smiled into it, he made his hand go down to hold onto your waist, the moon shining on both of you, he flipped both of you over so he was on top, you let out a quiet moan as he kissed your neck and slipped up you dress, taking off your panties, you trailed your hands down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, rubbing over his torso, moaning as he found your sweet spot, kissing it and sucking harsh circles on your neck, he sat up and helped you take of his shirt, unbuckling his pants and taking off the belt to where ever.

He unbuttoned your dress, taking out your breasts and sucking on one of them, you whimpered as he twisted the other, your hands making it to his hair and tugging a bit making him hum in satisfaction. He switched nipples and looked up at you, you head was thrown back, breathing heavy and he opened your legs, you bucked your hips up allowed him to pull your dress up and over your head, he ditched his pants, well not really, there still around his ankles and both of your shoes are off, how? I don’t know. He came up and you leaned on your arm while the other was on his cheek, your lips hovering his, he muttered a ‘ready’ you nodded and he bottomed out in you, both moaning at the sensation, he kissed you and rocked his hips, you moaned as his hands found your waist, holding onto his bicep for support. Soft moans shared “y/n, fuck your so tight” he whispered in your neck and you whimpered, clawing his arm as he went harder, still slow though,

“Tommy, I’m gonna-“ you swallowed, bucking your hips up and arching your back, he rubbed your hips and held on tighter to them. He groaned and started going fast, high pitched moans leaving your lips as he stopped going hard, “cum for me” he let one hip go and rubbed your pearl slowly. “God- mm” you bit your lip trapping the moans, your head tilting back as he used it to suck more hickies on you, claiming you as you just took it all in, your head slowly starting coming up, leaving cries as your arm circled his around his arm, your back arching more, connecting chests as you said his name like a prayer while you came “fuck fuck fuck” he moaned, so close, your walls to warm to leave. “You on the pill?” He choked out. You repeated ‘mhm’ and just like that he came inside you, your name left his mouth as he rode out both of your highs, breathing heavy as a new song played ‘ask of you’ by Raphael, you both chuckled as he pressed his forehead on yours.

“Would you be my-“ “I think you know the answer Thomas, this is my 12 dream right here” you giggled. He pulled out and rolled over next to you, taking his arm and wrapping it around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest “your moans are adorable, we have to have sex more often” you only laughed at him, coming up to kiss his neck on his sweet spot, his jawline under his ear, sucking hickies on his neck as he looked at the water that the moon is glistening on. You both cleaned up with his baby wipes and covered yourselves with the extra blanket he had, he poured you both a glass on wine too, just taking each other in and the perfect view.

On the other side zendaya and hunter were high giving each other, FaceTiming Harry and saying “we got em!” He smiled and cheered, lifting his beer with Harrison and taking a sip. They set it all up, how? Who knows.

[nonbinaryventing]

TW ED. Venting with my journal entries. #1 09/16/2021

It's the same cycle daily. Wake up. Stay in bed for another hour or two just scrolling through different apps on my phone attempting to escape reality. And now we’re caught up to me now. Debating whether or not to go eat breakfast, it would be easier just to skip.

500 calories a day, 800 max

Go over the amount workout to burn it off

Can still workout even if I don’t go over the amount, less calories the better

I’ll get something to eat I guess, even though I really don’t want too and I know i'll just end up regretting it as I always do. I head to the kitchen and search around for something to eat that won’t kill my calorie intake, but also won’t get my parents wondering. I grab 2 eggs and make them over-easy. Salt and Pepper. Water. (140)

After I eat I head to the bathroom, remove what would have been my water weight, and step on the scale. I watch as the numbers go up and up. 103.6. Not bad, it went down again thankfully. At this rate, I can get down to 95 in no time. I proceed to log what I ate and my weight into the weight-loss app. I have my goal set to 100 on it but don’t worry, that’ll go down as soon as i hit it.

I’m two days into my workout routine, I’m nonbinary and I want more of a masculine figure. It just sucks that I’ll probably need a high calorie intake to make myself actually look more masculine and get the build that I want, but I can’t do that so we’ll just make do with what we have.

My workout routine as of now:

Stretch Briefly

Push-ups, as many as I can. I did 20 last night, 2 reps of 10. (Decreases chest fat, increases chest muscles)

Bicep curls, this one was a bitch to get through. 20 on each arm, then work up my goal. 5-10 reps on each arm, sets of 10. (Increase bicep/arm muscles)

Armpit row. I believe I did 15 reps and 5 sets. These were difficult. (Arm strength increases, it focuses on deltoids/trap and back muscles)

Standing dumbbell press. I think I did 10 reps and 5 sets of these. (Chest, shoulder, and back muscles) (should be able to see collarbones more the longer i do this for)

Scissor kicks. Oh my god these were difficult, especially since my scoliosis had my spine stabbing into the exercise mat underneath me, and god it felt like I was going to collapse. 4 sets and reps of 25. (Lower abs and leg muscles) (after a month my leg muscles should be more defined)

Air cycling. Wasn’t too too hard, a little painful. I did this for a total of 6-7 minutes, or the duration of 2 songs. (Abs and leg muscles)

Wide arcs. It burned a little bit, but wasn’t too hard. I believe I either did 2 or 3 sets of 10 reps. One rep for me is going to each side once. (Abs and Legs)

Hip Raises. HOLY FUCK this one hurt so so much. I didn’t expect it to hurt that much, but once I hit 30 I just lied on the floor about to cry, lol. I should do 30-50 reps on each leg. (Butt and Leg Muscles) (should lose an inch of hip fat)

And that's basically it. It took me about an hour and a half, but I know it’ll get easier over time. I’m not sure how many calories I burned, I’m going to try to figure that out now.

Pushups: about 2-3 minutes (-9 calories)

Bicep Curls: I think about 20-30 minutes, Ill time it all tonight. (-130 calories)

Armpit Row: Think 10 minutes (-21 calories)

Standing Dumbbell Press: 15 minutes (-78)

Scissor Kicks: 4 minutes (-23)

Air Cycling: 6 minutes (-30)

Wide Arcs: 2 minutes (-12)

Hip Raises: 3 minutes (-20)

Total burned: 323

Yesterday I ate a total of 750 calories, which is too much. I feel a bit better knowing that it’s now down to 427. Under 500 calories. I did good, right?

********************************************************************************************************

It’s now nighttime, I apologize for not writing for the day. I skipped lunch, but ended up regressing and making up for those calories with sweets. What do I mean by regressing you may ask? Well I’m talking about age regression, basically where I mentally regress back to a younger- more innocent state of mind, usually ranging between 2 and 5/6 years of age. I had been numb for most of today and it was the only thing that could get me out of that- well besides creating line in my arms or thighs till the blood reminds me I’m alive, and the cut can help me realize that I can feel pain instead of well- nothing at all? But anyways, when I regress it can be voluntary or involuntary, and it's mostly involuntary for more, and when it happens I lose more control of myself and tend to eat when I really don’t want too even though im so hungry, please let me eat, please

I ended up eating one brookie/brownie cookie thing (150) and one chocolate fudge cookie thing (65) it was surprisingly l̶o̶w̶ less calories than I thought it would be.

We had burgers for dinner, luckily I had a veggie burger (124) which was less than a normal meat burger. In total with all the condiments and stuff, it was quite a disappointing number (333).

After dinner, I went out to go longboarding to burn some of the calories at least for 15 minutes before it got dark (-65). I got some cool pictures at least.

I finished up some schoolwork when I got home, had a snack(which was a mistake) popcorn (93/ my dad gave me too big of a portion) and a soda for the caffeine for later (150), then worked out. Also, hey I was right! It went a lot faster this time and I actually got it done in 40 minutes. It wasn’t as many calories burned as last time though unfortunately (-241)

I put all the numbers together and honestly it wasn’t great. Without the working out and longboarding, it was 9̶3̶1̶ and then I burned 306 calories in total. So I’m still left at 625 which is over 500 but not over 800, and that's okay I guess. Anyways I’m going to read a book for the night now, check in again tomorrow!

************************************************************************

[realm-sweet-realm]

Sanctuary

Request from Threadedsafetypin: a story about Jack helping Sammy to recover from ink infection.

---

Most members of the Joey Drew Studios music room knew that Sammy behaving strangely was status quo. So, when was Sammy first infected with ink, few people were alarmed. Complaining about seeing Bendy in his sleep? Stress. Increased irritability? Stress. Spacing out more often, seeming more exhausted, looking more drawn and bedraggled than usual? Poor guy really has to get a grip on his life- but at least he’s still functioning well enough to get the songs out on time.

Jack Fain, Sammy’s best friend, was the only one who realized that this wasn’t just one of Sammy’s episodes. He’d confronted Sammy about it a couple weeks ago, and it hadn’t gone well. He had snapped about his health being his own business and told Jack to go away.

Jack was used to Sammy being irritable, so he didn’t take it personally. “Okay. I can’t help you if you’re not ready. Just know that I’m here for you when you’re ready to talk. I care about you, and want you to be okay. Alright?”

Sammy had grumbled an “alright,” and left. His symptoms had only worsened since then, and Jack was rather worried that Sammy would never be “ready”- at least, not until he was very ill. But he couldn’t think of any way to help the process along unless Sammy was on board as well.

Then, one day while Jack was working in the sewers, he heard footsteps. Only Sammy knew that he hid away in the sewers, so it had to be him. Jack got up to meet him, and saw that Sammy had a defeated look on his face.

“Remember when you said to come to you when I was ready? Well, I’m ready,” Sammy said, as though admitting a dark secret. He took off the white gloves he’d taken to wearing lately, revealing ink-black hands. “The ink did this to me, and tried to convince me that it was a good thing, but I can’t deny that this is a problem anymore. I don’t think that a hospital could help me, and I’m scared that Joey would kill me if it got out the public. I don’t know what to do.”

Jack stood stunned a moment, looking at Sammy’s hands. They clearly weren’t just stained, but tainted down to the bone. It looked like there were some pockets of ink just beneath the surface as well.

“It’s okay. I’ll find out what to do,” Jack promised.

---

“Norman, can you come with me for a minute?” Jack asked. “I need to ask Mr. Drew something he won’t enjoy answering, and I’m hoping that if you’re there next to me, he won’t kill me on the spot for it. Alright? All you’ll have to do is stand there. And you’ll probably get some nice secrets out of it.”

Excited at the thought of listening in on such a conversation, Norman agreed, and the two of them made their way to Joey’s office. The door shut loudly.

“Joey,” Jack began, in a tone one might use to calm down a wild animal, “someone I care deeply about is infected with ink. Now look- I don’t want trouble. I don’t have any personal reason to want your secrets to get out. Please tell me how to help him get better, and I’ll do it completely inconspicuously if it’s possible.”

---

“What did he say?” Sammy asked. The look on Jack’s face wasn’t especially encouraging.

“Well, he said that a hospital can help you- if we take you a couple miles from New York, first. He said that the ink is alive in you, and it needs to be taken away from the ink machine in order to kill it. If we don’t do that, the ink will live in you no matter what anyone tries to do to get rid of it, and you’ll be in and out of treatment for the rest of your life- which would likely be a very short, unhealthy one. So, that isn’t an option.”

Sammy didn’t understand why Jack looked so hopeless at the thought of killing the ink. “Okay,” Sammy said cautiously, “That sounds doable. What else?”

“Well, the thing is that once the ink is dead, it won’t be able to help keep you alive, so all that tissue damage, organ damage, and dehydration is actually going to hurt you. Joey gave me some tips on how to increase the chance that you’ll end up at the hospital alive, but it’s still possible you won’t make it.”

Sammy was in shock. “I-I might die before I make it the hospital?”

“Yes. Joey said that you should go home and eat something with a lot of liquid in it. I take it you physically haven’t been able to drink anything but ink in a while, have you?”

“It’s been a few weeks,” Sammy admitted.

“He also said that we should lance any obvious deposits of ink before we head out. I can help you with the lancing. And... one last thing, Sammy?”

“Yes?”

“I quit this place, because it’s dripping with a deadly biohazard. I definitely suggest you do the same- especially if you’re in the habit of drinking ink, which Joey said you might be.”

Sammy sucked in a deep breath. “Please tell me that’s everything.”

“That’s everything.”

“Alright. Thank you, Jack. Honestly, thank you.”

The two went to Jack’s place, and with a knife, they set to work lancing any obvious deposits of ink. Sammy had them all over- on his legs, on his chest, his back, and some fairly severe ones on his hands. One by one, they were cut open, squeezed out, and bandaged. By the end, Sammy was in a lot of pain, and Jack’s bathtub was stained not only with substantial amounts of ink, but with a fair amount of blood.

“I don’t feel stronger,” Sammy admitted, looking down with his arms crossed over himself. “What if Joey gave us this advice to trick you into killing me? Or he didn’t understand how far along I was?”

Jack sighed. He’d made a good point, honestly. But Sammy needed comfort. “He didn’t lie. I’m sure of it. Just trust me, alright?”

“Alright,” Sammy replied.

“Do you want to stay over tonight?” Jack asked, “It might help you dread tomorrow a little less.”

“Are you sure you want me here? I’ll get ink and blood all over the place.”

“You will? Then we haven’t bandaged you up enough- you shouldn’t be leaking like that. And anyhow, don’t worry about it- it’s just one night, I don’t want you to go through this alone.”

Sammy agreed to stay over, though all he wanted to do was wash off and rest. The next day, the two of them headed out of New York in Jack’s car.

“Alright, Sammy, you know the drill. Tell me when you feel the ink dying, and I’ll turn the car around as quickly as possible.”

Sammy nodded. It was only a few miles before he did.

“Now,” Sammy croaked. He was already looking greener. Jack found a place to turn around and took it. 

 “Everything hurts...” Sammy complained. It was true. He felt weak and heavy, as though a large percentage of his body had suddenly become dead weight. His lungs stung, and when his breathing was wet and slightly laboured. Pain was building in his head, in the cuts he’d given himself the day before, and especially in his organs. 

“It’ll be okay, Sammy. I promise. Just hang in there, and drink some water.” 

Though it was hardly his most overpowering sensation, Sammy was very thirsty. Jack watched with concern as Sammy took one of water bottles in weak, shaky hands, took a sip from it, and then fell forwards, entirely limp.

 Jack slammed his foot on the gas pedal. He was going about 85 miles an hour, and he mentally calculated that he’d need about eight minutes to get Sammy to the outskirts of town and hopefully not too much longer to get him to a hospital. Risky as it was, Jack grabbed Sammy’s hand to check for a pulse. It was certainly there. A cop by the side of the road saw them, but let them go by- perhaps seeing that Jack was hardly doing this for pleasure. Thankfully, traffic was thin that day. Jack checked Sammy’s pulse again while at a stop sign- still strong, and pulled up in front of a hospital. He ran in, pushed his way past a line of people, and spoke to the secretary. “My friend is in my car. He’s unconscious and I have reason to believe that he needs immediate attention if he’s going to live. Please help him.” 

Within a minute, Sammy was being rushed in for medical attention, leaving Jack to wait in the lobby and fill out the necessary forms. Hours later, a nurse approached him. “You’re Jack Fain, the one who brought in Sammy Lawrence?”

 “Yes,” Jack answered.

“Well, Mr. Fain, we have some serious questions for you. What happened to Sammy? His condition isn’t exactly easy to identify.”

“His workplace is filled with a biohazard. He got infected and kept it secret for weeks. How is he? Is his condition stable?”

The nurse grimaced. “Stable, yes. He’s on life support, but we’ll be able to keep him alive. We’re not sure when or if he’ll wake up again since we haven’t been able to diagnose. Would you like to see him?”

“Sure,” Jack replied.

Seeing Sammy laying still as a corpse on a hospital bed, with three different IVs in his arm, a tube in his throat, and the beep of a heart monitor nearby, was not an encouraging sight. It moved Jack to tears. “Call me when he’s up. Or when it’s time to say goodbye,” Jack croaked to the nurse. With that, he left.

Jack spent the next few days fraught with anxiety. To make matters worse, the hospital had called Jack to ask where Sammy had worked and gotten infected. Jack had said he didn’t know, because he didn’t want to risk either of them being killed by Joey for leaking his secrets. If Sammy died, he’s have to wonder if it was partially on his own hands. Jack’s husband tried to reassure him that he’d done all that could be done, and Jack knew it was true, but it was still a scary time.

In what felt like weeks but was actually just a couple days, the hospital called Jack and told him that Sammy’s tissue damage seemed to be repairing itself and that he was responding well to treatment. Thankfully, none of his organs had been damaged enough to require a transplant. A week later, he was called to tell him that Sammy was awake again.

Seeing Sammy again was a massive weight off Jack’s shoulders. The dark spots on his body had shrunk significantly, and he looked much healthier, especially now that most of those tubes and wires were gone.

“Sammy. You’re alive.”

“Yep. I must be part cockroach because it takes quite a bit to kill me.”

Jack smiled. “Ha, yeah. The radio is calling you a walking miracle. Even though probably haven’t walked yet, since you just woke up.”

Sammy prickled. “No, I can walk. I’m not that weak!”

“Right, sorry. So, when you woke up, did they pepper you with questions on how you got into this state in the first place?”

Sammy took a quick look around the room to make sure no one was listening in. “Well, they asked me where I worked. I told them it was an ink manufacturing plant that I didn’t remember the name of. I think they bought it. Why, are people pestering you about it?”

“No. But I’ve been hearing about the investigation on the radio. They all want to know about the man who who somehow got several pounds of ink into his system and lived. As far as I can tell, no one suspects a thing about our old workplace, or magic. I think we’re free of it, buddy. I don’t think Joey is ever going to be in our lives again.”

Now Sammy looked like a weight had been lifted from him. “I had no idea how badly I needed to hear that until now.”

Over the coming weeks, Jack regularly visited Sammy in the hospital. He looked stronger every time Jack saw him. The news story died down without much fanfare. Sammy got out with a clean bill of health, and Joey Drew Studios gradually became a distant memory to them.