#no it’s not groundbreaking like 1989 or rep

[hamstertross]

tortured poets is bad to YOU. i’m having the time of my life

[mag200]

my initial reactions to red tv

(i wrote this down on my first listen thru but was way too exhausted that night to post it lol)

state of grace: it sounds like, kinda rushed but i think that’s probably just me being a little anxious cause its one of my favorite songs. she sounds fantastic oh my god the notes

red: OH HELL YEAH SHE SOUNDS GOOOOOOOD. the guitar!! the production!! im obsessed this song was already so good and just feels like revitalized now i love it. THE BRIIIIIDDGE. it fucks!!!

treacherous: oh she sounds so soft and good its stunning how much her voice has matured in the last decade. gorgeous incredible showstopping. the background vox are perfection

ikywt: oh it slaps i knew it would. the beat drop sounds a little more modern i love it. i can hear so much more in the background its so cool.

all too well: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 she sounds so good but im crying oh god.

22: oh this is so good and fun. i love that shes almost 32 singing this you can hear her having fun with it. it definitely sounds less authentically young than the og does but i think her voice and the production are also more pleasant to listen to now. im so excited for anyone whos 22 right now and has this.

i almost do: ohh the “i cant say hello to you” line hit DIFFERENT i love it. the guitar coming thru in the last chorus actually reminds me so much of debut era which i am SO excited to hear rerecorded. god she can do things with ballads now that she couldnt before and its so good. like 3 separate syllables in “mess” in “we made quite a mess babe” it sounds excellent.

wanegbt: shes gotten so good at the singing-like-shes-talking thing the snark comes thru so strong blondie i love u. its a bop it sounds so great. the “wheeeEEE” is so high pitched but i think its funny

stay stay stay: oh her voice sounds softer i really like it. the fake country twang has returned lol good for her. recreating the giggle “its so fun” at the end feels Mildly weird to me but whatever its cute.

the last time: OH HI GARY LIGHTBODY his vocals sound soo good. IS THAT A HEARTBEAT IN THE BACKGROUND. UHHhhhhh??? OH. OH WOW. aAHh. okay!! okay. i feel normal and fine. this fucks. everything sounds so clear. its cinematic. groundbreaking spectacular.

holy ground: YEAH YEAH YEAHHHHHHH BABEYYYY. god she sounds so fucking good im losing braincells. i was hoping she’d do the deep throaty joan jett “DUST!!” she did at that one 2017 (i think?) show but its still good.

sad beautiful tragic: this needs to be in a movie someone needs to use tbis. fuck its good. this song doesnt need a big show to be spectacular its just so fucking cutthroat shes just such a good writer.

the lucky one: her singing this after 2016 hits different huh ah its soo good tho. ppl always slept on this one but its a banger.

everything has changed: good lord this album is long. ok. ed sheeran sucks but its a good song. i dont like that i can hear more of eds backing vox in taylors lines hes so annoying.“all i know is pouring rain” always fuckin gets me its good. she sounds stunning.

starlight: i am literally a barbie on the boardwalk. she sounds SO GOOD god!!! this bitch really tried so hard to become a kennedy. go girlboss. the new production does so much for this song i love it.

begin again: this songs perfect always has been always will be <33

the moment i knew: he literally didnt go to her birthday party…. anyway hhghh ive always loved this one its just so big and sparkly and dramatic and heartbreaking.

come back be here: yeah yeahhhh yeAHHHH always been in like my top ten songs im so glad to have this. not much different rlly but her vocals are insane. love u blondie

girl at home: OHHH IFS SO DIFFERENT AND COOL!!! i love the og but i think taylor was like no one likes this so i can do what i want. anyway its VERY cool & reminds me of 1989 and rep. girl isnt at home shes in a club i think. i like it!!

state of grace acoustic: mystical and enchanting <333

ronan: yeah i cant handle this song im listening to it once for release night but probably wont be listening much its too rough. she sounds good but christ dude.

better man: oooh the melody changes are interesting. i think its gonna grow on me i kinda liked the stripped back country approach to it more but i like hearing taylor do it more than little big town.

nothing new: PHHHOOOOEEEEBE!!! she got a verse <33 oh fuck these lyrics hits hard. women.

babe: what about your PROMISES PROMISES??? what ABOUT them!!! hearing this in her voice just hits different.

message in a bottle: ooh this is SO glittery sparkly christmas pop. like this sounds like a christmas song. this is the prelude to christmas tree farm. its cute!! it feels like a disney song lmao i like it tho

i bet you think about me: it sounds so good i rlly enjoy the sound but this is SO funny does taylor think shes poor? im sorry girlie do you think you grew up a poor working class farm girl?? bestie???????? its a good song tho. fuck the gyllenhaals. “your organic shoes” ajdjfjjsjdjd get his ass

forever winter: the way im getting i’d lie vibes from this omg. love it. its another christmas pop ballad. im convinced im hearing sleigh bells in the background. good for her.

run: tragically im forced to really like a song that has ed sheeran in it. wish they would stop doing this to me hes so annoying but its a rlly good song. kinda reminds me of dead hearts by stars.

the very first night: they dont know!! about the night!! in the hotel!!!!!! the prologue to dress. once again this is quite clearly a christmas bop. did taylor want to write an og christmas album in 2012??? this is very fun tho im enjoying it.

all too well 10mv: mentally im unwell. blondie signed my death certificate w this one. like. oh wow. all the new lore about this rlly changes the perspective on this relationship and makes it sound so much more toxic than the og atw did. “ILL GET OLDER BUT YOUR LOVERS WILL STAY MY AGE.” im revving my chainsaw. im crying in a river. the production!!! i rlly like the drums and the light synth its different but not too different from the original. the lyrics holy fuck taylors taking no hostages. “just between us did the love affair maim you too?” i wasnt even there and it maimed me so. that outro is so haunting she literally sounds like a ghost.

[cowboylikesarah]

Why we shouldn’t hate on any of Taylor’s albums -an early morning thought by Sarah (that’s me)

Taylor Swift (Debut)- Taylor was extremely lucky and smart in the moves made with this album. It’s hard to make it in the music scene and even harder to make it when you’re 14 to 16 years old. So it’s admirable to even that extent. Also each song is so different, that’s so hard to do! Also lyrics like “September saw a month of tears, I’m thanking god that you weren’t here, to see me like that”, the entirety of Cold as You, “it’s hard to make a conversation when you’re taking my breath away”. They’re good lyrics! Anyway NEXT!

Fearless- IN THE MOMENT NOW CAPTURE IT REMEMBER IT. This album was all about being afraid but doing it anyway (that’s so beautiful!) Not to mention what this album did for her career! It made her go from country sweetheart to a rising icon in country music... at 18 to 20 years old. She wrote the song that shot her to major stardom in LESS THAN A HALF HOUR. And I KNOW y’all look forward to it and sleep on it’s performance every tour smh. Fearless also marked another, more mature voice sound for Taylor, a part of growing as an artist.

Speak Now- Self. Written. But we all knew that. It’s an impressive feat. But, there are other reasons Speak Now is so beautiful. Also the era itself was so magical! Taylor Swift was the country-pop princess on her way to take the queens crown and scepter. She had INCREDIBLE lyrics on there and they were cutting, to the point, and relatable. “You made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter”, “it’s okay life it a tough crowd”, “Long live that look on your face”... Taylor cemented herself as a songwriter who knows exactly what to do and how to write a hit. Not to mention this was her first big transition to pop, with mine, the story of us, and many others playing on pop radio and some of them didn’t have to edit the original song for a pop version.

Red- the versatility. We all know reds a fan favorite and a certain song shines through on this one, but I am not going to talk about said song, instead the beauties that lie in her shadow. (Step aside all too well, I’m not crying to you today) today we will be crying the words to Sad, Beautiful, Tragic, Begin Again, and I Almost Do. These three songs are some of Taylor’s most beautiful and dare I say, some of her most mature country songs. It’s almost hard to believe she paired these beauts with such masterfully iconic pop songs like We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together and I Knew You Were Trouble. Red was that bitch who faded the lines between Taylor’s younger country years and Taylor’s transition to pop, it was beautifully done and should be respected. Not to mention it solidified her as a country icon.

1989- Thriller you’re a great pop album and imma let you finish, but 1989 was one of the best pop albums of all time. (Michael Jackson stans please don’t attack me.) 1989 does not even bother with having skips on her. Even the songs that aren’t necessary fan favorites are still songs you can and should sing while skipping around New York City, or driving with your windows down, or better yet into your hairbrush. 1989 was a great album once you get off that was for lack of better term “sonically cohesive”. The era itself was one of Taylor’s most piviotal and impressive, she became a main pop girl. And what a way to end with Clean.

reputation- say it with me “rep was not a jumping point for lover.” Yes, Taylor wrote this because she had to but that doesn’t make it any less groundbreaking and beautiful as an album. Finding love in spite of the noise and a bad reputation. COME ON who other than Taylor Alison Swift would ever. reputation was also that bitch who could have easily been played all at one show! That’s insane. This album was well thought out and pushing that creativity envelope. Well done angry Taylor.

Lover- you’re my my my my LOVER. Hello we were graced with 18 songs about the real love she found, her love of politics, love of her mother, all the love. Taylor did a wonderful job in jumping around and exploring sound here, even going back to her country roots. Lover is a nice-late-spring-early-summer-sway-your-heart-away album. Lover also blessed us with such pretty songs. Also lovers already won an award soooo yeah.

[loveisbraveandwild]

The lack of support from huge artists and men is making me feel sick. Do they not understand how hard Taylor has fought for fairness in the music industry? For the rights of other artists. I can’t believe so many are just ignoring the situation. The fans have her back, but there’s only so much we can do. I wish I had the power to do something, because I know I sure as hell would

like taylor, even as a woman, has done so much for the music industry as a whole that so many men reap the benefits. like her apple/spotify decision 4 years ago literally changed the game for all artists. when she proved that you can switch genres midway through a career, that was groundbreaking for the entire industry, not just men. before the rep tour she had at least one, if not multiple or all men open for her on shows. she’s had more men feature in her music. she’s had more men produce and cowrite her music. she had men come out for the 1989 tour and she’s spoken, publicly, in defense of many male artists. the fact that there are men, male artists, male artists with voices and influence, who are choosing to remain silent is literally horrifying.

[lavendergrace13]

Let’s talk Grammys for a bit.

Alright, so first off: of course we were all hoping for Lover to get an Album of the Year nomination. And of course I would have liked to see it nominated in the place of one of the other albums - though that might not be fair since of those nominations, I only know Ariana’s album. But the thing is, I don’t feel like this was really a snub. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the album and there’s some incredibly strong songs there, but I don’t think it’s her best and I don’t think it was snubbed as hard as RED and reputation were. And in some weird way, I feel like instead of 1989, Lover should have gotten the AOTY - not that I don’t love 1989 as well, but Lover, to me, is a lot better than 1989. 

My point is... the AOTY category is for albums that really made a huge impact, that were all over the music industry, that were really BIG - both in numbers and in how they affected people. And yes, Lover has been a huge success, very critically acclaimed and very much loved by fans, but... it wasn’t groundbreaking. I mean, I am a huge Ariana fan and if I had to choose between nominating Lover and nominating thank u, next... I would definitely have chosen TUN. That album broke all release rules and records, and what she did with those songs, with the meanings and stories behind those songs, with the production of those songs, with the vulnerability of those songs... that is both outstanding and groundbreaking. And I’m sorry, but Lover just doesn’t have that. It has great production and amazing lyrics and important meanings and messages as well, but it’s nothing like rep and RED in terms of outstanding and groundbreaking.

And that is okay, because it DID get nominated for Pop Vocal, which I think is very well deserved: it’s a huge pop album, pretty much the definition of singer/songwriter pop, and all of those songs and lyrics and vocals and productions are getting recognition this way, not for being groundbreaking or outstanding but for being really, really good and strong and meaningful.

Also, I think those other nominations are very important. YNTCD geetting Pop Solo Performance is a huge deal, because that song stands for so much. It’s about Taylor using her platform to fight for LGBTQ+-rights, it stands for empowerment and acceptance, it stands for the Equality Act and the hand reached out to those people, it stands for breaking barriers and crumbling prejudice, even in places like China, where homophobia is a very real thing... that’s really important.

And then, the fact that Lover is also nominated for Song of the Year... that is very, very meaningful to Taylor. This is a song that is so special for her at this point in her life and her career. It’s a song she wrote alone - and, we should note that it is the ONLY solo-written song nominated! - and that she put her whole heart and soul in, a song that came from such a deep love and devotion and trust and safety. A song that is the title track to an album that is special to her because it’s about happiness and vulnerability and speaking up, all at the same time, and because it’s the album she OWNS. A song that really corresponds with her doing better than she ever was and being the happiest she’s ever been. I think this is the nomination that matters most.

Let’s not forget also that Taylor doesn’t really care (anymore) about awards and numbers, but all the more about making the music she wants to make how she wants to make it. So what matters here is that the nominations matter to her, that she’s getting recognized for what she’s most proud of.

So, no, I don’t think Lover was snubbed for AOTY. It got nominated in all the right categories. It wasn’t the album of the year, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still a great album. And personally, I’m totally rooting for Ariana to win AOTY - as is Taylor, I’m positive.

[ipictureitsoftandiache]

one more thing re: the spotify cover art (yes i know it’s not that deep pls let me assign symbolic meaning to a pop star that doesn’t know i exist it’s the only way i use my brain anyways) —

besides the obvious metamorphosis themes/motifs we’ve seen this era i really like the detachment from her public image here. compared to rep, where she stared defiantly at the camera and pasted her name a million times on the cover, because the album was about her owning her negative image while also reckoning with its effects on her personal life — an album about GLOBAL SUPERSTAR TAYLOR SWIFT and what it means to be a name before you’re a person — an album about being a caricature — an album about realizing that you will never be more than a name and a bad taste in some peoples mouths — an album about picking up the pieces after your name becomes a weapon and an insult........this is v different. her name isn’t on the cover a million times. it’s not on the cover once. she’s not even facing the camera. a celebrity is a face, but taylor isn’t showing hers. obviously this isn’t new or groundbreaking in terms of ~the modern celebrity, and taylor is definitely not the first celebrity or pop star to not use their face as a selling point. sia’s done it. beyoncé’s done it. it’s not a departure from the norm. but it is a departure from taylor’s norm. taylor’s career has always depended on her recognizable face. that’s a main facet of her celebrity, the fact that she’s instantly recognizable. even when she’s detached herself from her name (like with 1989’s album cover), even when being “taylor swift pop superstar” was difficult or unwanted, it’s who she is. her face is part of her brand.

but it’s not there. and yes the snake-butterfly thing definitely symbolizes her change and rebirth but i think that more than anything — her departure from what is expected of her in something as simple as a single cover — this is a sign of the change we’re gonna see in this new album

[theconservativebrief]

2018 has seen a record number of women run for elected office, the majority of them Democrats. But two Republican women in Tennessee — Reps. Marsha Blackburn and Diane Black — are poised to become nominees for statewide office if they advance in this Thursday’s primary. If either of them win the general election this fall, it would be a historic step for the state, which has yet to send a woman to the Senate or the governor’s mansion.

But neither Blackburn nor Black seems particularly interested in focusing on gender.

”I don’t put my focus on being the first. I think it’s important to put the focus on why people should elect me, and on the record of accomplishment and the background that I bring to be of service,” Blackburn, who is running for Senate, said in an interview with RealClearPolitics. Black, too, has hewed to a similar message.

“I was the first female caucus chairman here in the state Senate. I’m the first female to have served as a budget chair for our country. But that’s not when I’m running as. I’m running on my credentials,” Black, who is running for Tennessee governor, told NPR.

Both lawmakers have emphasized gender neutrality so much that they like to be referred to as “congressman” and “chairman” — not “congresswoman.” This broader approach might be a personal preference. But political experts also note that it’s a conscientious calculus aimed at steering clear of even the vaguest whiff of “identity politics.”

“A lot of Republicans are very turned off by identity politics and female candidates on the Republican side are pretty disciplined and avoid something that might be perceived as identity politics,” said Kent Syler, a political science professor at Middle Tennessee State University.

Both women have given a nod to gender in their campaign ads with Blackburn mentioning it in her announcement and Black describing her groundbreaking leadership of the House Budget Committee in hers as well. But overall, it appears like they’d really rather not put the emphasis on this part of their candidacy.

A Blackburn spokesperson disagreed with this characterization — pointing to both the announcement and her work on sexual harassment as two areas where the lawmaker has put the spotlight on gender. A Black campaign spokesperson did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

“I think that Democratic candidates get hung up on identity politics like, ‘I’m this, I’m that.; Obviously, Marsha is a woman,” said Candice Dawkins, the communications director for the Tennessee Republican Party, of Blackburn’s candidacy. “She’s not going to the Senate to be a woman, she’s going to represent Tennessee.”

For Blackburn and Black, this strategy is likely aimed at appealing to as many Republican voters as possible. “A lot of the Republican Party thinks Democrats talk too much about people of color, women voters,” Syler said. “When the Democratic Party is talking about solving problems of those groups, they aren’t trying to solve problems to white voters is the perception. There’s a limited pie mentality.”

Nationwide, nearly half of the Democratic nominees in states that have held primaries have been women (excluding incumbents), according to an editor for Cook Political Report.

Republican women, meanwhile, make up just 17 percent of nominees in primaries that have already occurred this cycle. And even as Democratic women are expected to see a major spike in House membership this fall, Republican women may actually see a dip in their ranks due to the number of candidates who are leaving to pursue higher office or retire.

Tennessee is an exception. Blackburn and Black are both seen as leading contenders for their statewide races. (Blackburn is by far favored to win the Republican primary for Senate, while Black faces a much closer race with former state economic development chief Randy Boyd, entrepreneur Bill Lee, and state House Speaker Beth Harwell.) Both women have ascended the ranks of Tennessee politics. Because Republicans dominate the state government, the women who have gotten ahead in politics have tended to be Republican, Syler noted.

“I think it’s situational, I don’t think it’s anything systematic,” Vanderbilt University public policy professor Bruce Oppenheimer said of Black and Blackburn’s rise. “They were both very visible members of the state legislature, and hard-line conservatives on a range of issues.”

Blackburn has been active in local politics since the 1970s, and was the first woman to become chair of the Williamson County GOP in 1989. She was elected to the state Senate in 1998 and became the first woman in the state elected to a House seat without taking over one vacated by her husband. Black also has a long career in Tennessee politics, getting elected to the state legislature in 1998 and to Congress in 2010.

Both candidates have not shied away from describing gender discrimination they’ve overcome. In an interview with Yahoo News, Blackburn recalled approaching an older male mentor when she decided to run for state legislature, who unequivocally shut her down. “You’re wasting your time, you’re wasting my time, you’re wasting money,” she said he told her. “I don’t see how you would ever win.” Blackburn eventually did just that — and went on to count him among her campaign donors.

Black has also described her own experiences with sexual harassment and the “good ol’ boy” culture of the Tennessee legislature. She and Blackburn have sponsored legislation that would tackle the issue in Congress. “There is no place in the public or private sector for sexual harassment or assault. Period,” she wrote in a Townhall op-ed.

Black and Blackburn’s own stories are rife with a host of milestones. But they aren’t necessarily getting the spotlight on the campaign trail. Being seen as different still might not play well with many Republican voters.

“Gender issues are not issues that resonate with primary voters,” Oppenheimer said.

“We don’t need to highlight our otherness,” Dawkins said. “We have a lot of folks from various backgrounds. We’re really focused on pushing out a unified a message. The Republican Party has a track record, and that’s what we’re running on.”

Republican women across the country have had to navigate a tricky relationship with Donald Trump’s presidency — backing his policies while speaking out against his alleged misconduct when it seems politically savvy to do so. Candidates have been forced to align themselves with Trump given his strong popularity with the party’s base, while still appearing to hold him accountable when he makes denigrating remarks about women.

“Female candidates — they’ve got to be careful in how they deal with Donald Trump. If they let things completely go, they appear weak,” Syler said. “If they come on too strongly, then it can backfire on them. They’ve got to walk a fine line.”

Alabama Rep. Martha Roby is often cited as a key example of this dynamic: She was among the earliest to withdraw her support for Trump in the wake of the notorious Access Hollywood video tape, and this year, she was forced into a runoff. Blackburn and Black also criticized Trump following the release of the tape, but both stood by his candidacy.

Blackburn and Black are also among the candidates seemingly looking to sidestep concerns about Trump’s history with women by focusing on the economy, betting that if people are seeing strong jobs growth and wages they’ll overlook the rest.

“Women know that their economic security, their national security is in better shape … and they are grateful for that — and that is primarily what they’re talking about right now,” Blackburn has said, per NPR. Black told Politico that she tells women about her positive experiences working alongside the president.

“As far as economic prosperity, Marsha has been a supporter of the president’s agenda and tax reform to allow our economy to grow,” Dawkins said.

It’s a message that Blackburn, Black, and the broader Republican Party have been championing for a long time. While they served alongside one another in the state legislature, the two lawmakers were even part of a trio with former state Sen. Mae Beavers that became known as the Killer Bs — after they effectively blocked the implementation of a state income tax.

The idea that economic gains are enough to discount Trump’s treatment of women can be a tough argument to make. “If you don’t like Donald Trump, you certainly see it as contradictory,” Syler said. “If you’re someone who supports Donald Trump, you probably get it.”

Thus far, Blackburn and Black have used such messages as a place to weave in mentions of gender.

Black has highlighted her time as a nurse and single mom, with one campaign ad detailing how her efforts on tax reform would help other women juggling these responsibilities. “I’ll never stop fighting for her,” she said. Blackburn, similarly, briefly mentioned the issue during her campaign announcement, noting, “Courage comes in both genders.”

That seems to be as far as they’re willing to go — for now.

Original Source -> Republican women sidestep gender as they try to make history in Tennessee

via The Conservative Brief

[mredwinsmith]

Finding Ultimate in ’89 – Part 2: Learning the Game

I have been playing ultimate for 28 years. I am also a writer. After a significant amount of time trying to figure out how to combine these two skills, I settled on writing a series of stories about my life as an ultimate player which, if all goes well, will also be turned into a groundbreaking psychedelic rock opera entitled Tommy unless someone has beat me to that already.

For those who missed part 1, it can be found here.

The year was 1989.

I had just played my first ultimate game and I loved it.

In one sense, it was like my entire world had come into focus and, in another much more accurate sense, I had just recently upgraded my prescription glasses. In the first few minutes of my first game, I felt that I had finally found my sport after years of fumbling footballs, getting cut from basketball teams and being pummeled in the face and stomach with soccer ball after soccer ball no matter how much I pleaded with them to just stop already.

And though I was new, and had no real idea of what I was getting into, I was ready.

I had my cleats (the infinitely heavy, hightop Nike Land Sharks), I had a disc (my parents’ much-used orange Whammo), I had some slightly-too-sheer shorts (fashion choice) and I had gumption, or at least I thought it was gumption – turns out it was heartburn. And I was ready to dominate on the field using my cleats, disc, shorts and whatever else it took or, failing that, I was ready to participate in the hopes that ribbons would be awarded to all at the end of the season unlike the horrors of little league baseball.

The problem was, as I realized midway through my second game a week later, that I couldn’t really do anything.

At all.

Defense was impossibly hard, catching was an endless adventure, marking the thrower was an exercise in futility and throwing? Let’s just say that my throws, while horribly laughable, helped make my teammates’ throws seem infinitely better in comparison. You’re welcome.

Sure I showed up (80% of life, I read somewhere!) looking the part, but nothing I was doing on the field would been considered “playing” or “helping” or “not embarrassing himself permanently” by even the most generous and hopefully near-sighted observer. I spent my time in this second game, running around resembling some sort of farm animal being led to slaughter, holding the disc as if it was potentially explosive, and seeming “scared” and “freaked out” and “white with panic” when attempting to guard someone. It was clear to my teammates that I wasn’t going to be “bringing home the championship trophy” for us any time soon despite the clearly-homemade matching t-shirts I had made for the team before the game that said as much that were meant to inspire and hopefully make me a new friend or two..

I had to face the facts (something I never did – seemed a tad bit aggressive), I could either be satisfied being a glorified cheerleader, something that just a week earlier I would have yelped ‘YES’ to if offered, or I’d have to put aside my ego (fits in a small handbag), admit my failings (I prepared notes!) and put in some hard work (I didn’t know the meaning of hard work, literally).

As I lay on the ground, stretching, attempting to both catch my breath and not let on to anyone nearby how hard it was for me to catch my breath, my ultimate future flashed before my eyes. In this future, I saw myself having pinpoint long throws, awe-inducing endzone grabs, graceful leaps into the air, a vastly improved lung capacity and, for some reason, hair like a pony. Different story for a different day.

But how to get from point A to point B? How to go from this young man of 20, laying on the ground writhing, to this dream version of my future self?

I had tried nothing and was all out of ideas.

I wanted this future as badly as I wanted pizza for dinner, or maybe slightly more but it was hard to tell as I was really hungry for pizza. I sat up and resolved then and there to work harder than I’d ever worked before, which wasn’t saying much, but I had to start somewhere. I looked around and realized that I was alone on the grass and that everyone had gone home hours ago leaving me a cryptic note on my forehead saying “we got bored, hope you’re okay.”

I was okay. Really okay. I stood up. It was time to get to work.

After with conferring with my friends, who were like Gods of ultimate in my eyes due to their rippling muscles, white teeth and cryptic natures, I made a plan.

Step 1: Learn to throw. Step 2: Learn to catch. Step 3: Learn to play defense. Step 4: Learn the rules. Step 5: Only speak monosyllabically whenever possible to maintain my sole focus on steps 1-4.

So I grabbed a friend (without a cane – too hard to pull off without hurting his neck) and with my trusty frisbee, we threw. Day in and day out, wherever we went, we threw that plastic. We always had a disc with us and we tossed it constantly whether in parks, on the beach, on our busy side street playing the fun game of trying not to hit cars or trees or pedestrians, in that order. And yet, despite the hours of throwing, and the spectacular leathering of my skin, progress was very slow.

And then I realized, after someone told me repeatedly via direct message (which was exceedingly laborious back in 1989 – involved tons of folding of paper, driving back and forth and unnecessary gas usage) that it wasn’t good enough just to throw, but that I needed to learn to throw properly. Ahhhh, ‘proper’ throwing! Of course! It all made sense.

I realized that I needed to learn from the best, so I sought out the best throwers and decided to copy their every move. I started by taking mental notes, but my progress was slow so I took the next step. How was I to know that videotaping him in his backyard without his written or verbal consent was crossing some sort of line? But learn I did.

Despite my best intentions, my throws wobbled and veered off in random directions. It wasn’t safe to be around me while I was throwing if you weren’t dressed for a construction site, and even then. With each turfed throw and broken nail and family of ducks rudely displaced from their home, I wondered if I was long for this sport regardless of my passion.

Our team practiced once a week at a local elementary school. Each week, a different teammate would take their turn attempting to remove the wobble from my forehand, to no avail. They would often have these long, hilarious chats in front of me, dissecting my flick as if it was an under-anesthesia patient in the ER. I tried and tried to straighten and smooth it out and, along the way, experimented with a variety of grips and mental states, and still that disc refused to obey even after I resorted to embarrassing begging.

At the practices, we’d run through a few drills and scrimmage as we attempted to get better for our game the following Wednesday. I, for one, was tired of being the worst player on my team by any measurement used. Being a laughing stock was getting old regardless of how cute and infectious the laughter was. I still wanted to become a star, but I was even willing to compromise (my middle name!) and become “this side of competent” or “less below average” or, if I was lucky, “good”.

Scrimmages were the answer! I needed reps and experience and layers of sunscreen. I needed to get knocked down, only to get up again, and then get knocked down again before wondering if I had concussion type symptoms. I was determined to use these scrimmages to get ahead and, despite my slow progress, that even the nicest teacher would label as “nice try” on my report card, I was still just so excited to learn, sort of like an excited drooling and yappy puppy dog, which I brought along to a practice for comparison’s sake only.

And I was determined to be a sponge (harder than it sounds) and soak up all of the suggestions and comments and sudsy water I could get. The advice was as frequent as it was bewildering.

One person told me “I was running too much”, while another told me to “get on my horse”.

It was suggested that “I would only improve by attempting throws in game situations”, while someone else suggested that I should “never throw forward for any reason whatsoever because we are trying to win.”

One teammate offered that I should “fake left and cut right”, while the same teammate told me that she wouldn’t be accepting any more rides home if I continued that practice while driving.

As I sat afterwards at my parent’s dining room table, nursing my injuries both real and imaginary, I whined and whined about how hard it was to be a beginner.

Even though I was only 20, it had been a long time since I had been “the new guy” at anything and it was frustrating! The other sports I played (tennis, squash and racquetball), I was proficient at and had the confidence, attitude and leg warmers to match. It had been years since I was flat out bad at something and it was constantly humbling to be so inconsistent on defense, as a thrower or while attempting to secure the rare frisbee thrown my way. (Note: a disc thrown out of pity is hard to distinguish from a regularly-thrown disc while sweating profusely.)

I wanted to improve so badly.

I wanted to really learn this game.

I wanted to be an asset on the field.

And sure my friends cheered me on and were supportive, mostly, but my interest started to waver by the end of my first season. It is just so hard to stick with something, anything, you are learning until you can see that you are progressing and improving and not beating your head against the wall, even if you are (I wasn’t). I couldn’t see any progress, at all. Despite not wanting to be labelled a quitter, I was debating an indefinite hiatus, a change of course, a ride off into the proverbial sunset (real sunset way too bright).

But, I didn’t.

Now, I’m not wanting this to sound like a made-for-TV movie unless you are an interested Hollywood executive, then I’m all ears (two, to be exact), but this story does have an overly-sappy happy ending. Somehow, against all odds (that’s right, my ‘friends’ were gambling on it!), despite myself, I actually started getting it.

Throws became crisper and ended up where they were intended, cuts were more purposeful and powerful, discs started being snatched repeatedly out of the air and defense…well, at least the rest of my game was improving. After hours and hours and hours of practice, slowly skills started to rub off on me like an infectious disease (not that I would know anything about that). As each game came and went, I slowly realized that I was turning into an ultimate player. And as my skills and confidence grew, my role on my team shifted from being “just some guy” to “even though he is just some guy, he is wide open and he screws up a lot less than he used to” to “the left-handed, red-haired assassin” (to be clear, no one aside from me, alone in my bedroom, writing in my diary by flashlight ever uttered those words).

I got thrown to on a regular basis, became a threat to score, finally put two and two together (four!) and started generating some real spin on my throws and cracked open the secret chest revealing all of the benefits of being a lefty. The wobble, the endless and clueless running around and the general hopelessness was in the rearview mirror. Also in the rearview mirror, for some odd reason, a huge number of black unmarked vans. My first set of cleats were replaced with a lighter version, my old frisbee was replaced by an Ultrastar, and my shorts were still slightly too revealing. Baby steps.

I was now ready for the next level.

Tournaments.

Stay tuned for part 3 of my ultimate story coming soon.

The post Finding Ultimate in ’89 – Part 2: Learning the Game appeared first on Skyd Magazine.

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