#no im not procrastinating what makes u say that

[lemedstudent2021]

books & stuff!!

i have been meaning to make this post for months now lol oops :') have been asked to recommend books and stuff so here i am finally, i will update with more as i go along and link what i can find. enjoy!

--

Islam

made a list of reads and resources for sisters looking into islam on reddit, indeed this blog was first made with the purpose of sharing things abt islam & muslim daily life & med stuff. so by popular request (a beloved moot lol) i present to u

*:･ﾟ✧ links to playlists:

5 pillars made plain (a playlist going through the foundation upon which Islam is built. Islam 101 if you will)

My moment of conviction (when reverts realised they were on the right path)

Jesus in Islam (learn how Muslims see Isa peace be upon him)

Keys to prophetic parenting (parenting from the perspective of the best of mankind!)

*:･ﾟ✧ resources in general:

Quran.com (listen to the Quran, read the tafsir (exegesis), and peruse reflections left by users)

Sunnah.com (books of Hadith (narrations of the prophet peace be upon him) categorised according to authenticity, the best of which belonging to Sahih Muslim and Sahih Bukhari may God be pleased with them both)

and:

Yaqeen institute (website & youtube)

Mufti Menk (scholar and speaker, passionate, sometimes funny, always informative) & my favourite dad joke of his lol

*:･ﾟ✧ books i have:

Islam for younger people (i reread this often ^-^)

Islam beliefs and teachings (this ones in my dads office lol)

answers to non muslims' common questions about islam (direct and satisfactory)

in the early hours (a book gifted to me and is dear to my heart)

islamic manners (another gift, a must read for everyone really)

God bless! *throws sparkles*

--

my library

sadly i am not as well read as i would like to be lol, my lil library is limited to the books i grew up with; a few older children novels and some non-fiction. i mainly want to read classics, literature and poetry alike, like shakespeare, the bronte sisters, jane austen, edgar allan poe and the like. ive been meaning to expand for years, but alas, i have yet to find the time (and motivation) to do so. not really into ya, id love to read crime and mystery though (like agatha christie) one day. wow just remembered my sherlock holmes phase while writing this :D

*:･ﾟ✧ currently reading (and i use the term reading very loosely lol):

the posthumous memoirs of bras cubas (download link)

the iliad - homer

the odyssey - also homer

probably more i forgor

*:･ﾟ✧ on my shelf (physical and metaphorical):

the black death - philip ziegler

hagakure - yamamoto tsunetomo

the ones who walk away from omelas (rec from a moot :3)

as long as the lemon trees grow - zoulfa katouh

there will come soft rains - ray bradbury

*:･ﾟ✧ favourite & most beloved reads:

the anne series (esp anne of the island)

children of the new forest

the secret garden

companions of the prophet (comfort reads of mine. also i have the revised edition and i only found my book 2, heres a pdf tho)

*:･ﾟ✧ others:

toxic childhood - sue palmer (was reading parenting books at 15 lol. tbf its a great read. i also had no friends so)

theres a sequel too (detoxing childhood)

a short history of the ottoman empire - erhan afyoncu (this is the only link i found beside amazon :'))

living in the ottoman lands: identities, administration & warfare (turkiye was beautiful & i still feel guilty abt not reading these two)

probably more i also forgor

--

thank u for reading this far and being patient with me i really appreciate it lol. happy reading!!

for my beloveds @notsolonedesert & @sporadicallyanenthusiast <3

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[fadeintolight]

pont pont vesszőcske

[nyxypoo]

thinking about when the time when me when he when uhm when HANDS FACKKKKK

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[mysimsyuri]

on the topic of Women . would yall still think im cool if i continued the trend of "ship names that are vague music references"

[sanchoyo]

my dog turned 14 the other day!!! 14 years old in human years... I've had him since he was a pubby and hes 14... woaw....🥺

[inosukijiro]

𝗚𝗜𝗬𝗨𝗨 𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗖𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗧

𝙨𝙮𝙣. ━ giyuu decides its time to tell you how he feels.

━ 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. this is part two. or not, it really doesn’t matter if you read the first part. loved this idea bc i love crochet. currently making a giyuu amigurumi doll atm, so yay me ig

━ 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. im so sorry for being gone for almost two months. i was burnt out. but i have lots of prompts / plot ideas written down and just have to finish them. also also!! season 4 was crazy, i loved every minute of it but that ending – im so not ready for the final arc. anyways, thank you for the support as usual, luv u besties

━ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨. fluff. use of swear words (not a lot, but they are there). giyuu-centric. modern reader in kny. mentions of crochet and amigurumi. gender-neutral reader. also very poor dialogue probably, i avoid talking irl so yk. 1.9k words.

first part (optional); giyuu has a crush

Giyuu is about to have a stroke. He’s alone in his room late at night. He should be sleeping, but he can't imagine doing so. The moon light is coming through his window and all he can do is stare at the crochet hook in his hand as his fingers remain still. He is hunched, hovering over a ball of yarn in his lap. He can't shake the feeling of inadequacy that heavily weighed on him because he really has no idea what he’s doing.

You had this habit of making him gifts. Cute little amigurumi things and it had become a habit of his waiting when you’ll show up with one just for him. They’re almost always an animal or some sea creature, maybe even a small plant that he has sitting on display in his room somewhere. They are always so adorable and tiny, always fitting in the palm of his hand. It's almost like clockwork at this point, and Giyuu is always so flattered to receive them.

He remembers the little tiny baby sea turtle you have made for him. Its flippers rested against the palms of his cupped hands; its eyes and lids sewed on so perfectly along with the rest of it. It’s so intricate, he almost thought it was real. He remembers bringing it up to his face, staring at it in its tiny face, because for some reason this time he really didn’t know how to act.

He remembers you giggling, quickly explaining that you really didn’t know what to make him this time – lies, you have so many patterns. You just care too much about his opinion and his likes. Honestly, you could make him anything you wanted and he would be happy.

❛ And then I thought, ‘well you are the Water Pillar after all’. And I thought the sea turtle was kinda cute too, so I wanted to make it for you. Now you have a little friend to keep you company on your mission! ❜

Now here he was, with little idea of what he was doing. A frustrated sigh left his lips. He began working the yarn along with the hook – all his movement completely hesitant and fumbling. It would be a lie to say that he had never been skillful with his hands; he is a swordsman after all. However, it was clear that he wasn’t as skillful as you regarding this, and it makes sense. He had never picked up any knitting or crochet hooks until tonight at this ungodly hour.

Sure, he could have just crafted a wooden figurine. It is something he vaguely knows how to do, and seems like a more appealing thought now, plus, he knows that you would love it either way. But all he wanted to do was something special. He wanted to convey his feelings to you through what you love doing the most and give you something that he knows you would like. And for about a moment he wonders if this is a good idea. Then decides that he doesn’t care anymore. This is going to make or break him. He procrastinated this long enough.

Though hours passed and Giyuu is shocked to consider it done. He hoped it was. He glances over at his window and the sun is barely over the horizon. And as much as Giyuu loves you, he can't do this again. No, that is also a lie. He would if you asked. But he couldn’t help but feel disgruntled. He didn’t even know what he made. It is some type of plushie. It has a big body with some stubby legs. Its arms are almost the length of it too, if not longer, making them seem like large floppy paws. Its head; he is unsure if it's too big as it’s the same size as the body, but it’s a bit too late now to do anything about it. He made small ears on the top, and added some type of embroidery to make the eyes – as no buttons seemed to look right to him. There was no nose or mouth either, because Giyuu couldn’t figure out how to add them without making it look worse than it already does.

He frowned at the finished product, before hanging his head. It was done, yes. But to him, he knows that he could have done a much better job. And the pang of disappointment didn’t help. Because surely you deserve something better than this crude attempt at a gift.

However, for some reason Giyuu was oddly excited. Maybe it was the ice cold water he almost drowned himself awake to. But he really didn’t pay it any mind. Maybe he just didn’t care anymore. Maybe he just wanted to get it over with. He was afraid, so very afraid because this was the first time he was outwardly seeking your validation. But he was also anticipating the interaction. Because you were so nice. And he shouldn’t be afraid.

So here he was now, standing in front of you. And suddenly, he can't remember why he was so afraid in the first place. You looked so delightfully happy just like he had hoped. He watched as you took the plush from his hand, your fingers just barely brushing against his. And he felt his palms get clammy again. You were so delicate with it, and honestly, if you had asked Giyuu, perhaps you were a bit too delicate. He didn’t think that it deserved such care. He watched as you brushed your thumb over the soft yarn. Your eyes staring intently at it, and Giyuu couldn’t place the look you were giving.

“Giyuu, it’s adorable!” Your eyes sparked just a little bit when you looked back up at him. The plush is pressed against your chest right now. So softly, almost protectively and Giyuu actually can't believe it. Truly, he is in disbelief. You actually liked it? You really must’ve, because you’re going on about the plush; gushing over it and completely unfazed by any of its imperfections. You asked how he made it and when he had the time. It was nice, until you asked him why. And he got all nervous again.

Well… He responds. “You make me such nice things all the time. And I wanted to make you something as well. To show my appreciation.”

Oh! You are a little taken aback by that as a light blush starts to burn on your cheeks. You were definitely feeling the appreciation. You just never really anticipated Giyuu to make you something. Not because you thought he was incapable, or anything like that. You just… liked making things, and if that happened to be for Giyuu more than others you weren’t going to deny it. It made you happy to do so. And you never really expected anything in return. But for him to make you something, the gesture kind of made you feel special. It was so sweet!

“Of course, I’m glad you like it. You… mean a lot to me you know. Um…” He stops because he's a bit flush. He wants to confess so badly and he doesn’t understand; why is it so hard. Just say it. It's like you are waiting for him to – and you are – but you are so completely and utterly patient with him that sometimes he wished you weren’t. “Ngh, don’t look at me like that.”

You giggle softly. You can’t help it. Why is he so cute? “I’m sorry,” You say sincerely, still hugging the plush to your chest. “Please continue.”

His heart is beating out of his rib cage. He feels like he is going to die. He has never expressed his feelings so openly before and as much as he wants to say that he is uncomfortable, he's only half way there and he only needs to get the words out. He's been afraid of rejection for so long that, even deep down knowing the possibility of you loving him exists, he can’t help but worry about it. The words are on his tongue and at some point, he has to come out and say it.

“I… I love you.” Finally. “I’ve loved you for a while now. I just didn’t know how to tell you. You don’t have to say or do anything, I just… I just wanted you to know.”

“You love me?” You had a big, stupid smile on your face, which made the question you had asked seem hopeful to him. If you had been home, you might have thought he was pulling a joke on you, not that he would know to assume that. And you, yourself are having a good time telling the small voice in the back of your head to fuck off because – yes, Giyuu Tomioka just confessed his love for you and you were not going to let the universe take it back.

He nodded, silent. The smallest, timid, smile pulled at his lips as he waited for you to continue. “Giyuu, I love you too. Actually, I..” you stopped before you started tripping over your words and let out a deep breath. Your grasp on the plush tightened, clutching it closer to your body in an attempt to ground yourself. “I… may have been in love with you for a while, too.”

He stares at you for a moment, another dumb look on his face. It's like the gears are turning in his mind. That yes, just like you had, are realizing this is all actually happening. And if he promptly pulls you into the softest, brain melting kiss you've ever had – that's between the two of you.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᘡ ۫ 𖨂 𓈒 🦑 ۟ ៹ 𓂂

Of course, now it’s later and Giyuu is watching you show off the plush to the rest of the Hashira. You had grabbed his hand in a rush, so excited and happy. He let you tug him along, squeezing his hand so tight; never minding the clamminess. He watched as you shoved the crochet piece in Rengokus face, telling him with pride that Giyuu was the one that made it for you. ‘I see that,’ he says and lets out one of those joyous laughs, almost amused.

You tug him along, going from Hashira to Hashira. Giyuu vividly remembers you shouting at Shinazugawa from across the training grounds about ‘Look at what Giyuu made me! Suck it you fuck face’ before running off and taking him with you again. He remembers in the background the Wind Pillar shouting, something about how it was ‘Ugly as fuck’ and a few other things but Giyuu ignored it.

Others recognized the effort Giyuu put into it, much like Rengoku. He gets a ‘That's kinda flashy’ from Tengen, and surprisingly Shinobu didn’t really poke at him too much, but maybe that was because you were there. Mitsuri squeals about it. She thinks it’s the cutest thing she's ever seen, and Giyuu makes sure not to look at Obanai at all. Otherwise, the man might force Giyuu to teach him. Or force himself in between you and him to teach him, and Giyuu doesn’t know if he can handle that.

The afternoon passed by after that and you both ended up back at his estate, just like always. This time, you were much closer to him than usual, not that Giyuu minded. He watched from over your shoulder as you continued your own little crochet project. He had half a mind to join you, but instead opted to enjoy just being with you; resting his head near yours and wrapping his arms around your waist. Though, somewhere close by the little turtle and the plush were laying together where you had placed them. It was almost like they were watching you, like they were proud of him.

Thank you once again for reading!! ໒��ྀི ˃ ∩∩ ˂ ꒱ྀིა

[blqstar]

main mha boys finding out their s/o’s tiktok famous

↳ featuring ; midoriya, bakugou, shoto

content warning: black reader, fluff, a lil bit of crack too, mention on y/n’s big booty and boobies 😏, profanity + slurs, not proofread (as always tbh lmao)

note: i literally just came up with this on the spot, i was so busy daydreaming, thinking about this lmao. y’all i promise a oneshot finna come out, im def a d1 procrastinator lolll

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 — izuku midoriya !

deku honestly isn’t the person to be on social media that much. really because he’s out training most of the time

but every time he gets the chance, he comes across videos of you

and when i say every time, i mean every single time lmao

edits, little clips of you from your original tiktok, even your own tiktoks you make.

baby, when he sees you in that video, in them lil black shorts and crop top

y’all his ass is DROOLING

he’s honestly a little flabbergasted but at the same time, he’s not. he knows his princess is absolutely drop dead gorgeous so it’s really no surprise that you would go viral.

he ends up following you after a while and decides to ask you about it, assuming that you didn’t know about it yourself

“hey , bunny , did you know you’ve been going viral lately ?”

“yeah , you ain’t know ? i’m surprised you didn’t know before , zuku-poo “

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ — katsuki bakugou !

i feel kats ain’t a person to have social media, so he shol don’t have no damn tiktok🧍🏽‍♀️

“wtf is tiktak ?”

“kats , it’s tiktok .”

“whatever the fuck it’s called, i ain’t gettin’ that shit .”

with some persistence and a little bit of ‘pretty girl’ charm, he puts it on his phone (he be lyin like a mug lmao)

one particular day where he’s a lil bored, he decides to go on tiktok for the one time

and the first vid on his fyp is…you?

wtf??

he watches you lip sing a song wearing his color in a orange sundress, accentuating your butt and boobs

how many times he’s watched it? yes.

nigga has turned into an all out simp

after he’s looked, he goes through your comments and sees tons of guys simping for you too.

nigga’s boiling now

“HEY , WTF BABE ? TAKE THIS SHIT DOWN !”

“how about…no .”

“DON’T TELL ME NO , YOU WEIRDO !”

this man is an actual diva sometimes lmaoo

⋆⁺₊❅. — shoto todoroki !

like deku, he isn’t much of the type to have social media.

not just because of training but because he’s not really interested in those types of things. especially tiktok

but once he heard you talking about it to him the day before, he went to see what it was all about. (mans is obsessed w u like anything u talk abt he wants to know about lol)

and first thing he saw was you in a little black sundress and recording yourself in the mirror, showing off your figure

baby boy blushed (hes so cute)

he went through multiple clips and edits of you, even going through your profile and watching your videos.

during this, you were caught in the midst of it, watching his phone from behind

“babe~ , are you stalking my videos ?”

“yeah ofc , you look so gorgeous . send me the vids before you post next time . wanna be the first one to see ‘em .”

[ukiyoq34]

texts with genshin gang

I’m not doing that whole text pic thing cus I’m lazy but I wanted to do this cus man some people make these guys get so out of character when it comes to this typa stuff

synopsis; asking them for the homework/copy their homework / reader has no pronouns or any specific gender/ can be seen either platonic or romantic whatever you feel like/ paring Xiao, scara, Kazuha, heizou, Tartaglia, and Lyney

-Scara/wanderer

“Bro I need your help”

*read*

“??? bro help”

*read*

“answer i know ur ass is there”

“tf you want now”

“I need help with hw”

“no”

“boy 💀”

*read*

-Heizou

“bro can you help me real quick?”

“sure”

“i didn’t do the homework I need help”

“u sure you need help or do you just wanna copy?”

“is copy and option”

“nah😂”

“Js Help me dawg 😭🙏”

“Lmao get on call and I’ll help you”

“thanks dawg 😘”

“smh wish that kiss was real😒”

“GET OUT!!🤬🗣️”

-Xiao

“Xiao”

“yeah”

“can I copy your homework please🙏🙏🙏”

“I’ll help you but I won’t let you copy”

“WHY?? PLEASE BRO I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT 😭😭”

“you have a lot of time I know you do”

“😒😒😒”

“it’s easy dw”

“do I get a kiss if I finish it”

“No??”

“just say you want me dead💔💔”

“😐”

-Childe/Tartaglia

“bro can you send me the hw”

“girl.. WHAT??”

“WDYM WHAT?? DID U NOT DO IT?? 😭”

“I HAD PRACTICE IM THE LAST PERSON YOUSHOULD BE ASKING 😭😭”

“oh my GOD”

“girl don’t give me that attitude 😒😒”

“who is this DIVA”

-Kazuha

“Kazuhakazuhakauzhakauhzhshajakuh”

“yes??”

“did you do the homework”

“yes I did”

“can I PLEASE PLEASE copy your work”

“did you procrastinate it again?”

“yes😓😓”

“alright but try not to make this a habit okay?”

“I know I’m sorry 😢😢 but thanks 🙏🙏🙏🙏”

“Np👍”

-Lyney

“Lyneyyyyyyyyy yayyayag”

“Yeah??”

“Did you do the r homework???”

“yes I did do you need to copy”

“YES 😭🙏”

“here 😘😘”

*attatchment 4 images* “You’re a real one THANK YOU🙏🙏”

“Love you too 😘🤑”

“Love the confidence you have!! Keep it up!”

“☹️”

[gorgeouslypink]

HIIII PINK!!! When I heard you were leaving I was so sad I even started crying and started to doubt myself on entering the void. I was like “how tf am I going to get into the void without pink???” I started procrastinating reading some of your post basically stalking ur page staying up til 4 in the morning (I was desperate 😭). I realized that I already read all of ur post, nd I just was surprised on how much time I wasted trying to get into the void. And I always dreamt abt putting a success story in your inbox. I already had all the knowledge i needed so what’s the point of more? I deleted tumblr and thought of anything that could help me get in the void. I did SATS while listening to my subliminal playlist, i daydreamed abt the void and my desires for fun, i affirmed for my void concept randomly throughout the day, feeling of the wish fulfilled, listened to delta waves when I was abt to sleep, and I meditated once a day for 10 mins. Meditation was optional but whateva 🤷‍♀️. I ONLY DID THAT FOR THREE FREAKING DAYS. And Im still mad at myself for wasting time procrastinating for 9 months. I was going to take a nap and I was in a drowsy state, so might as well affirm for the void right? I started saying affs like “I’m in the void”, etc etc. Once I started affirming, everything was just calm Yk? My body wanted to move but it was like it couldn’t cause the state I was in was calm asf. So I closed my eyes and just repeated the affs in my head over and over and over until I got this feeling like as if my body was floating, then I payed attention to it for a split second then ignored It after. I kept on affirming then I felt like I was being pulled then let go and it was as if I was falling. Everything got darker and quieter. So then I got scared and jumped because that scared me soo bad (I’m a easy person to scare 😔). After that, I felt like I was actually a master at the void, I took a nap again and I had the same feeling but when I felt like I fell I kept my calm. Then I couldn’t hear my fan which was louddd, I opened my eyes to total darkness, I was scared for two seconds and realized I was in the void!! Ngl I had a whole list set up with my desires and I was ready to affirm and goooo!!! But I realized how calm the void is and stayed there for what felt like 5 minutes. I did affirm I had all my desires and that I was able to wake up in the void under 5 seconds. When I woke up from the void it was 9 pm and I took a nap at 2!!! I woke up with all of my desires nd shi. (I would explain in more detail in how I got in and stuff like that but I was in a rush and didn’t want to make this too long 😀)

BUT THANK YOU SMM PINK, IM GOING TO MISS U SM. YOU HAVE BEEN A REALLY BIG HELP WITH MY VOID JOURNEY, I TRULY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE FOR THIS COMMUNITY, MAKE SURE TO ENJOY UR SELF 💗💗💖💖💖💗💕

✌️😼

Hi love!!! Omgosh I'm so proud of you! This is so cute and you deserve this so much and I'm genuinely happy for you. 💗

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 163 spoilers and thoughts that are making me procrastinate on like all of my work but its totally fine below the cut

.

.

.

i am so serious i was completely tricked into thinking this would just be a light episode with some ominous foreshadowing but still some answers for how to defeat fate. i thought we'd be in silly haha territory now and that soon we'd reach the end and everything would be wonderful now and they can finally have what they want. I WAS PROVEN WRONG

YOU. YOU TRICKED ME FROM THE GETGO BY SETTING THE MOOD OF THE EP TO BE SILLY OFF THE BAT. YOUR STUPID CUTE HAIR BEING MESSY WHEN U WAKE UP AND THOSE SILLY ASS D*SNEY ANIMALS. YOU YOU YOU YOU RAPHAEL YOU FOOLED ME

it's super cute and funny that his singing and his general demeanor is so fairytale esque that animals and people just love him even though he tried to destroy what they were working on . he looks adorable with messy hair. i wanna see it more. cute and blond. but also. FUCK YOU

like we went from that to this and i was like "oh my god they're gonna have a bonding moment" and i was so so happy i just,, i really thought,,,,

like he looks so pretty here!! and then javier says something so sweet and so javier-brand of affectionate and they're being funny about it and it's so cute and they're all smiley afterward in the reflections of the water so its like "awww stupid fucking idiots being happy at each other without even really knowing it i love them so much" AND THEN.

STUPID FUCKING OMINOUS REFLECTION GOT ME ALL WORRIED. BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF RAPHIE AT THE START AND WENT "nahhh thats just. yknow. the normal foreshadowing at something bigger. they haven't even gotten answers yet. it's fine" oh lynn. oh girl you had no idea.

like they're so close to the truth cmon they wouldnt dump what they need to do to stop fate AND whats going on w javier at the same time right? ha. ha. ha.

ominous panels aside POOR LLOYD,,, OF ALL THE SECRETS HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN,,, he had no idea its not fair </3 we got blushy lloyd as a result i love this panel btw he's very very cute. super duper bug of him. i really like that the artist has been drawing the two of them at this angle a lot recently they look so stupid i like it a lot

ALSO JAVIER DO YOU. HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY. WHY DID HE ASK THAT I. JAVIER U CANT JUST ASK PEOPLE HOW DEE- WHAT THE FUCK

and then we got hit w javier being worried and i was like "man me too buddy, im worried too but im sure itll be oka-"

DEATH FLAG. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT LLOYD OH GOD. i read this and my worry that was briefly washed away IMMEDIATELY came back . tged is very good at giving me tonal whiplash. i dont think thats a bad thing but also its not good for my health either so. /lh

AND THEN WE GOT HIT WITH THE JEWEL OF TRUTH SECTION AND. AAAAHHH AAAAAAAAHHH the darkness that lloyd is in, he's all alone when he hears this god i . oh god i have so much to say okay

it's kind of hard to go shot by shot with this section because all my thoughts are overlapping with each other but ill try my best???

he's immediately pushed into communication between just him and the jewel and shrouded in a very very isolating darkness. there's so so so much empty space and all my yapping about how much lloyd has been isolating himself for the sake of finally protecting his loved ones kind of comes to a head here. and then we hear the truth...

lloyd is a BUG. the fact that he EXISTS is a problem that has been the catalyst of all the pain and work that he and javier have had to go through, so so early in the story. he's essentially being told that its HIS fault fate is threatening their lives. AND WOW THAT HURTS. how do you cope with being told that?? how do you manage that???

and on TOP of it all, in order to fix it, he has to choose. rid the world of this bug, or let the bug take over. THAT'S SO EVIL

the only way to protect his loved ones is to forfeit his protection over them, giving up his life. and yet the only way for him to continue being there to protect them is to lose the life of the one he absolutely loves most, javier. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT

the moment he hears this he falls to his knees. im so fucking ill IM SICK . THIS IS SICK AND TWISTED!!!!!!!!!!!

some more thoughts on the language and just. inherent despair of this section:

i think the choice of calling lloyd a bug is so so so heartwrenching. i don't know if it's an intentional thing by the writer/adapter or if it's just something they defaulted to since the world is considered a system, but either way it makes me so damn emotional

i'm a computer engineer, so i take some computer science classes too as part of my major, and one of those fun facts that you learn in those classes is that debugging/bugs became common terminology in compsci for a very silly reason. "bugs" as a word to describe error and defects had been present before, but it became conflated with programming due to a team of programmers actually finding a moth, a true to life Bug, interfering with their computer and thus messing with their program.

see, the JoT could have called lloyd anything. an error, a mistake, a problem, hell even a glitch would have worked. but they specifically said bug (and again whether or not thats intentional is up for debate but i will treat it like it is)

and the thing about bugs, the thing that haunts me now, is that without them the rest of the program (theoretically) works fine. if that moth hadnt entered the computer of those programmers, then their code would have been operating smoothly. the system would be chugging along well.

the knight of blood and iron would be functioning just fine.

yeah it'd be sad, yeah javier would have lost everyone, but it would have gone exactly as the program was written. the memory allocated for the class lloyd_frontera would be freed, and the story wouldn't have had to call on it, ever. but lloyd, the bug, the moth, stuck around. errors ensue.

and often, bugs are HUMAN error. it's a problem in a human design, not a natural glitch or mistake. the moth wouldn't have been able to enter that computer if it was built differently. bugs do not appear naturally. and they do not go away until you go back to where the bug appears and FIX IT. lloyd cannot fix the story, he can NEVER achieve the happy ending he's always wanted, because the program will always be bugged because of HIM.

suddenly too, all the little changes that have happened in the story thus far make so much sense. all of those events happening EARLIER than they should have completely tracks.

the choices lloyd made - to defeat neumann, defeat lacona, go to cremo, go to the capital - pushed javier's presence ahead, and i know that's like really really obvious, but coupled with this bug analogy i feel insane because

something that's very common in programming in general are function calls, where on the side you have the function written out all complete, and in your main code you can just say the name of the function. when it compiles, itll know what to refer to when it sees the name in your main code.

something else thats very common is conditionals! y'know, your classic "if (comparison here) then do (this thing here) else (do this thing here)", you might have seen this before (or not, im not sure how well versed tged tumblr is on programming which is why im explaining this)

and u think back to javier being there EARLY and oh. ooohh....

if (javier.location == magentano.event_location(banquet)) {

kyle_betrayal(alicia);

}

this function, this betrayal, was called early. THIS WAS CALLED EARLY because a certain character object, lloyd frontera, changed the state of javier's location way sooner than it should have happened. a bug. a bug. a bug. a bug made the code jump to this conditional. he's been a bug this whole time

and you think to when the glitches on javier first started appearing and oh. oooohhh. the object referred to as javier, disabled the "protagonist" variable on him and passed it onto lloyd. but that won't do, because all these functions for the ENTIRE STORY rely on javier's class object. how can it call on lloyd instead? lloyd should have been freed, aka the memory storing his little array of data, should have been REMOVED. CAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE

theres more examples of this throughout the whole story that maybe ill list another day (as much as im yapping about it, its really not that hard/deep on figuring out where things were called early lol) but yeah yeah yeah. yeah this is so so evil and i cant believe i didnt put two and two together earlier. this analogy is SO EVIL WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME

apologies for the jargon btw. i have no idea if i explained this right or if anyone else really knows what im talking about but i've been losing it over this for the entire weekend ALKDFJLSDKF

WHATS WORSE IS THAT IVE BEEN CALLING LLOYD A BUG FOR LIKE. ACTUAL MONTHS. I WOULD REFER TO HIM AS A CREATURE AND AS A LITTLE ITTY BITTY BUG AND NOW I FEEL SO SO TERRIBLE BECAUSE HE REALLY WAS A BUG. I MADE A SHITPOST AND EVERYTHING (that ill prolly post later) THAT I HAD NO IDEA WOULD. AGE POORLY SOB SOB SOB

I AM SO SO SORRY LLOYD. I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sniffle,,, sob,,, anyway,,, thats enough yapping about bugs and programming and lloyd being a bug,,, back to the anguish

the following section is just. god ow ow OW. the shaking linework, the shadows setting in at the top with the dramatic bottom lighting, and the blur on javier as he loses focus and starts truly, truly panicking makes me INSANE. artist you're making me CRAZY!!!

javier truly has no idea either but god dammit he's trying his best to help, but how can lloyd explain this to the man whos completely and utterly loyal to him to the point of sincere devotion? if lloyd tells him, whos to say that javier - the martyr that he is - won't just give up his life for him? god that's so... GOD. GOD GOD GOD WHY AGHHH

AND AGGHHH AGGGHHHH THE FLASHBACKS TO THE P PANELS OF SUHO WORKING SO SO HARD TO REACH THE LIGHT. GOD FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK

ITS DIMMER ITS HARDER TO REACH AND OH MY GOD THE PANEL OF LLOYD REACHING UP EVEN IN HIS PANIC TOWARDS HOPE. THE THOUGHT THAT "ITLL GET BETTER ONE DAY" COMFORTED HIM AND KEPT HIM ALIVE BUT NOW ITS BEING RIPPED FROM HIM I FEEL ILL. EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL

this panel of that light going out . not much words on this i just feel sick to my stomach. why would u do that.

and finally at the end of the chapter we have this incredibly HAUNTING panel of lloyd panicking. the despair here is UNREAL. the lineart is shaken and messy and scribbly, and the focus on his face and his hand gives the panel a very claustrophobic and hard-to-breathe feel and it makes mE SICK!!! IT MAKES ME SICK!!! SICK AND TWISTED!!!! JEWEL OF TRUTH I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

anyway that's all my thoughts for right now . i really really hope they figure out a loophole or something . if they dont im actually gonna keel over and die /j not literally but yknow what i mean

SICK AND TWISTED!!! is my final word on this ep

thanks for joining me in hell ill see yall next week salute emoji

[bibleofficial]

literally saw my flatmate & he asked abt it too bc NEITHER of us cleaned it - we didn’t even ask the 3rd bc we know his ass ain’t do it 😭😭😭

walked into the kitchen for it to not reek of decay & actually clean & i feel like im being punked like im deadass looking around wondering who cleaned this bitch

[strandnreyes]

Hi, Jen

Would like to participate 3 word fic game but having too much in my mind so… here we are 😉 feel free to pick one (or multiple)

A: amnesia, always, awe

B: Buttercup, bacon, breeze

C: crash, clueless, coding

D: darling, diamond, dildo

E: Elf, eavesdrop, evil

F: failure, FBI, fatal

G:Gwyn, glimpse, grave

H: hope, hypothermia, healing

I: ICU, irises, imagine

J: jacket, jazz, jostled

K: knuckles, knot, knock

L: lasagna, lube, Lou

M: McLaren, missionary, milestone

N: nightmare, neurological, never

O: omelet, open, ocean

P: procrastination, prostate, plead

Q: Quebec, quit, quarterback

R: relapse, raincheck, ring

S (1): socks, snow, subway

S (2): sleepless, silence, survive

T: Tyler, Thomas, thief

U: Utopia, unknown, unicorn

V: van, violin, voicemail

W: wonderland, wand, wings

X: X-ray, xoxo, X-men

Y: yearn, youth, York

Z: Zoom, zucchini, zoning

first of all, WOW LOOK AT ALL OF THESE IM OBSESSED!!! because you took the time to come up with all this, I want to write all of them eventually!! ill pick at the list!

A - amnesia, always, awe

TK is confused when he wakes.

He doesn’t know what this room is, it’s certainty not his own. A strange bed, he could do with, but there’s a strange man next to him that’s the most alarming part. TK thinks he’s should be more scared, but for some reason this feels entirely safe, and he lets his body relax into the bed as he observes the sleeping man beside him. Curly hair, strong brow bone, long eyelashes. He’s beautiful.

And suddenly, he’s awake.

“Hey,” he croaks before clearing his voice. “How’d you sleep?”

TK grips the edge of the comforter in his hands. “Where am I?”

Something flickers in this man’s eyes that TK can’t name. “We’re in our home. My name’s Carlos. Your husband,” he says easily, like that doesn’t flip TK’s entire world around. “You had an accident a few years ago and now your memory is a little funny.”

TK tries to process that. It should be news to him if what Carlos is saying is correct, but there’s something about it all that gives him a sense of deja vu.

“I feel like you’ve told me this before,” TK whispers, guilt settling see within him. He hardly knows this man, yet deep down TK’s soul recognizes him, and he deserves better than a life of reciting an introductory lesson to TK’s life every morning.

Carlos gives him a small smile. He intends to reach out, and then looks like he second guessed it. TK makes the leap to close the gap, letting their hands intertwine. “I’ll tell you as often as I need to,” Carlos promises, and TK believes him.

[screampied]

miss vegas. how do u survive in college. please give me some tips. i am barely hanging on by a thread and it's only my first year. how do u do it. also ilysm.

hi nonnie 🌞. omg ofc! i used to live on campus, i don’t anymore which is way easier for me— also, don’t stress. first year can always be a lot and extremely overwhelming but i got uuuuu !!!!!! love u too

it's a lot of things i wish i knew as my first year LOL. i guess one thing that is probably super basic, don’t procrastinate. just get your stuff done so you don’t have to worry about it later ☝️ it’s easier said than done, but trust you’ll feel a lot better once you finish your assignments / projects early n on time !!! also, staying up late while working on stuff — don’t do that. it’s not good for you, and i always did that eheh. waiting ‘till the last minute of 11:59 to finish essays nuh uh. do your stuff as soon as it get assigned, DONT PROCRASTINATE 🫵 also, go to all your orientations. do nawt skip them

sleeeeeep. you need lots of sleep, regardless of what year you’re in it’s very important. i wish i knew that as a freshman 😀😀😀. i would stay up all night doin work, especially on the weekends. certified loser nerd. also, set an alarm !!!! if you’re a heavy sleeper like me, set a fuck ton of them !!!! or uh… have someone wake you up. i used to oversleep a lot, a way to prevent this is to usually go to sleep earlier than you usually do ( from my experience )

if you’re on campus, have some sort of map / guide so you know where you’re going !!!!! on my first day i literally got lost right away and i barely knew much english so it was even more embarrassing LOL. beeeee prepared !!!! ☝️ do research on ur school, they should provide those things — also, try to get those things ahead of time before your courses start so you aren’t askin random ppl where one of your rooms are. of course, its okay to still get lost anyway. it happens. ask for help if needed but make sure you’re prepared !!!

you don’t necessarily need friends to “survive” in college. everyone’s experience is different, but i found my experience easier by just keepin my circle small 🫂. IM NOT SAYING TO BE A LONER, you can have / make friends throughout your years ofc !!! in college, you’ll meet the best and worst people of your life. your main priorities should be yourself and your studies — but you come first at the end of the day. friends will always come & go, but eventually you’ll stumble across some nice ppl who share the same interests as you !!!

there’s prob super more important details but for the last thing i’ll say this— don’t let your grades define you 💓. it sucks majorly to get bad marks on something, especially if you stayed up countless hours on it, givin it your all. i personally have / had a habit of doing that, but never let it define you. if you truly think you didn’t get the right grade for any number of reasons, you can always talk to your prof about it in private. but don’t stress ab it !!! always remember you matter first over some exam 🫵

[star-writes-fanfiction]

:: c o p y c a t :: ☆ :: p e t e r . p ::

Character/s: mcu!peter x implied stark!reader

Summary: doing the 'copying snaps' trend with Peter.

Warnings: very suggestive content, light smut [masturbation, fingering] it's also kinda short since it's not full smut and I did not proof read, like, at all. Comment if you want me to edit lol.

Request: none (based off a headcanon I wrote recently)

Other: I don't really know how snapchat works because I don't use it much, so if I've messed it up let me know. <3 also I wrote reader and Peter as college students because sexualising minors is a big no-no y'all 😐😑😐

You were laying in your bed at the tower, playing block blast to pass the time. You were meant to be studying for your massive exam coming up, but there's nothing more fun than procrastination. Besides, you had all of tonight to cram as much as possible, and you work faster under pressure.

Just as you cleared your board, you got a notification from Peter, your best friend since elementary school, and also your decade-long crush. It was a snap of him pulling the duck face captioned 'it's that snapstreak grind'. Typical Peter, you thought, going to reply. There's no way in hell either one of you would be the one to lose your streak of 2000.

You took a photo of your roof, adding the text. 'I was trying to study, p'. His cute little face popped up in the bottom left as he began to type.

Pete ❤️

Oh sorry lol

Me

It's ok im bored anyway 😭😭

Time to spam u with ridiculous photos cuz u love me

You joked, already opening your camera. You took a photo of your middle finger, leaving it uncaptioned and hitting send. A moment later Peter sent you a similar photo with the same pose.

Oh, so thats the game we're gonna play? You thought to yourself, taking a photo of your face this time, poking your tongue out.

Again, he returned the snap. "Well, I may as well use this to my advantage..." You muttered aloud as you took a photo of you doing the spidey hand. You know, where you curl your two fingers?

And Peter, being the innocent little gremlin he is, sent it in return. His arm outstretched as he curled his middle and ring fingers. God, you thought, your thighs fluttering at the sight. You took a quick picture of you just sitting up and captioned it 'silly spidey'. That would buy you some time.

Keeping the image in your head, your fingers crept down your stomach and into your panties. You deftly found your clit and began to rub in in quick circles, gasping at the feeling. Your back arched slightly as you inhaled sharply. With those same two fingers from the photo, you started to thrust in and out, curling at that spot that makes you want to scream.

But in your mind it wasn't you, it was Peter. His hands in your pants making you feel so good. "Fuck, don't stop," you whined, throwing your phone somewhere on the bed. You couldn't care less about replying anymore. It felt so fucking good.

You felt your body reacting as your neared your orgasm already, just thinking about Peter. "Fuck, baby, you're so wet for me," he'd say in your ear as his toned arms supported his weight and trapped your head in. His left knee would be holding your right leg in place as you squirmed uncontrollably.

Until finally you came, finishing all over your sheets. You let yourself lay in euphoria before remembering about Peter. You scrambled to pull your pants up and grab the phone.

Pete ❤️

🟦 sent you a snap

Hello?

No reply?

Damn I just got ghosted 😞😞

You blushed, the full weight of what you'd just done settling on you.

Me

Sorry Peter dad wanted me for a sec

Pete ❤️

Oh ok alg

What'd he need

You rushed to think of something.

Me

He needed my little fingers for something

Wow, great lie, you thought sarcastically. You were wondering if it's possible for one to think sarcastically when he replied.

Pete ❤️

U sure it isn't u who needs my fingers for smth?

You turned the brightest shade of crimson on the spectrum of colour right then. Shit, think for a response! You thought desperately. Then he sent you another snap. You hesitated before opening it, seeing a picture of his hand clenching his sheets. Fuck~ you thought as you nearly moaned at the sight. Then you read the caption.

'Want help?'

You've never seen anyone agree as fast as you did then.

Send help I love this man too much. Like and rb as always and plz leave requests!!!

- star ✨️