#no i have not had the musical on loop for 8 days why do you ask

[pastafossa]

Daredevil Characters as Epic the Musical characters

Been talking this out with @sunflowersandsapphires and I THINK WE GOT IT. Loved doing this, since this is a combo of three things I love: musical retellings of stories I love, ancient Greek mythology, and fucking DAREDEVIL.

Anyway, go listen to Epic the Musical if you haven't already, it's gd amazing, now one of my favorite musicals ever, and the way Matt and the others line up with it is beautiful.

Matt: Odysseus

What if I'm the one who killed you Every time I caved to guilt? What if I've been far too kind to foes But a monster to ourselves? What if I'm the monster?

Foggy: Polites (really hope this one doesn't come to bite us in the ass in Born Again)

This life is amazing When you greet it with open arms Whatever we face, We'll be fine if we're leading from the heart

Karen: Eurylochus

Tell me you did not know that would happen Say you didn't know how that would end Look me in the eyes and tell me That you did not just sacrifice six men

Fisk: Poseidon

The line between naivety And hopefulness is almost invisible So close your heart, the world is dark and Ruthlessness is mercy

Frank: Athena

I've no respect for bullies Those who impose their will I've seen plenty enough to truly understand this kind of filth Let's teach this dog a lesson In front of all his kind

Elektra: Circe

If you make one wrong move, then you're done for Anything I don't approve, then you're done for I could put a spell on you and you're done for Boy, you better run or soon you will be done for

Peter: he was in a scene with Matt in No Way Home, it counts, anyway he's Telemachus

Give me sirens and a cyclops Give me giants and a hydra I know life and fate are scary But I wanna be legendary

Claire: Tiresias

I am the prophet with the answers you seek Time, I've unlocked it I see past and future running free There is a world where I help you get home But that's not a world I know

Bonus for TRT Readers!

Jane: Penelope

I will fall in love with you over and over again I don't care how, where, or when No matter how long it's been, you're mine

Bonus Bonus:

Stick: a pig that Circe eats because he is a fuckface

(scared squealing)

[annewithaneofthegreengable]

Kinktober - Day 8

8th — almost getting caught/ public sex, Sebastian Vettel

The previous day I The next day I Kinktober masterlist I Main list

Sebastian was the kind of man who was well-liked by everyone, popular and envied. He was a charmer, a heartthrob, and a flirter until he met you. You were a rarity, a scandalous deviant that could match his perversions, keeping Sebastian’s interest. To him, you are a total goddess who granted all his wishes in life by staying by his side. 

Now that he had won his fourth title, he ended a season that was not his best with Red Bull, and currently, he was looking forward to a fresher start at Ferrari. 

Big band music filled the penthouse, the Ferrari’s Christmas party in full swing. You were hung on the arm of Sebastian Vettel, the new driver for the Italian team, and also your husband. You guys had just got married a few months ago, on the summer break during the 2014 season. 

“Your ass looks great in this dress,” Sebastian spoke in your ear, grabbing the fat of your bottom in his large hand, giving it a good squeeze. 

“All for you, Mr.Vettel,” you grinned, sipping the champagne and grinding back against him, trying to rile Sebastian in the middle of the party. 

“Careful. I’m in a mood tonight, doll. Don’t test me, or you may end up somewhere you don’t want to be,” Sebastian warned, dark eyes burning through your clothes. 

You turned, letting his hand rest on your ass while you looped an arm around his neck. 

“I’d go anywhere for you,” you grinned, tempting Sebastian with a messy, open-mouthed kiss. His tongue slotted with yours, swallowing moans as he pushed into your mouth.

The festive ambiance of the Ferrari Christmas party melted away as you and Sebastian disappeared into your own world. His hand gripped you possessively, his large palm squeezing your curves with an unabashed hunger. Even though you were surrounded by the top brass of the Ferrari team, you felt like you and Sebastian were the only two people in the room. The low hum of chatter, laughter, and music became background noise as the heat between you two intensified.

“Mr. Vettel, huh?” Sebastian murmured with a smirk, the playful light in his eyes not masking the fire burning beneath. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll forget we’re in public.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, igniting that delicious thrill you always felt when you tempted him. You knew Sebastian had always been the charming flirt, the man everyone wanted a piece of, but with you, it was different. There was an intensity in his gaze, a deep craving only you could satisfy, and you loved pushing him right to the edge.

You brushed your lips against his ear, your breath hot and teasing. “I like when you forget,” you whispered, your voice low, daring him to lose control, right here, right now. The desire to see him unravel in public, the powerful Sebastian Vettel at the mercy of his own need, was intoxicating.

He groaned softly, his grip on your ass tightening, and for a moment, you thought he might drag you out of the party then and there. The idea sent your heart racing. His tongue brushed against yours in that open-mouthed kiss, and it took every ounce of restraint to keep from moaning too loudly. You could feel his restraint slipping, his body pressing closer, radiating heat as his lips devoured yours.

But Sebastian was no fool. He knew how to bide his time, how to savor the build-up before the release. As much as he wanted to take you right there, he’d make you wait. He pulled back just enough to murmur against your lips, “You’re playing a dangerous game, doll.”

You grinned, licking your lips, savoring the taste of him. “Isn’t that why you love me?”

His eyes flared with desire, but there was that glint of control in them too, the kind that told you he wasn’t done teasing. Not yet. “We’ll finish this later,” he promised, his voice husky. “But when we do, you’ll be begging.”

You smiled knowingly, your body thrumming with anticipation. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

After some very close dancing, a couple of nips to your neck that Seb kept giving you, and a not-so-quick kiss in the corner that had your body pressed into the wall and Seb’s hand on your body, you were led to the current position you were in. Sebastian led you out of the party, through hallways, until you found yourselves in the privacy of a room away from everyone. His eyes burned with lust, dark and dangerous, as he closed the door behind him. He didn’t waste a second, his hands were on you again, tugging at the straps of your dress as he growled lowly in your ear.

"You have no idea how much I’ve been holding back," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin, his voice a mixture of promise and threat. You knew whatever restraint he’d shown tonight was about to break.

You leaned into him, a smirk on your lips, teasing him as your own fingers played with the buttons of his shirt. "Then don’t hold back anymore."

A low, almost feral growl rumbles in my chest at your words. In one swift motion, He yank the straps of your dress down, exposing your shoulders and the tantalizing swell of your breasts.

“Mein Gott, this is pure heaven, Schatzi” 

His touch becomes urgent, mapping out your body like a track he’s memorized. He finds the zipper at your back and slowly pulls it down, feeling your breath hitch in anticipation. The dress pools at your feet, leaving you in nothing but a lacey bra and matching thong. Your body melted into him as he kissed his way down your neck, his hands now fully exploring, his fingers slipping beneath the lace of your bra, teasing, making your breath hitch again.

"Seb, someone could still,..."

His mouth was suddenly on yours, cutting off your words, and when he pulled back, his voice was a soft command. "Let them. You’re mine, and I’m going to take my time with you."

Sebastian’s words sent a thrill through you, your heart pounding in your chest. The possessiveness in his voice, the way he spoke like you were the only thing that mattered in that moment, it set your body alight. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you even closer until you were pressed tightly against him, feeling the hardness of his body against yours.

"I’ve wanted this all night," you whispered, your own voice shaky with anticipation. Your hands moved to the waistband of his trousers, unbuttoning them with trembling fingers, eager to feel him, to match the raw desire that was building between you both.

Sebastian’s voice was low, dripping with a mixture of guilt and desire as his hips pressed into yours, the heat between your bodies almost unbearable. His hand slipped down to your thigh, rubbing slow, tantalizing circles into your skin, his touch sending a ripple of anticipation through you. His eyes locked onto yours, filled with intensity, but there was a softness behind them, a recognition of the time he’d been distant.

"I’ve been selfish," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. "Neglecting my poor missus where she needed me the most."

His words were laced with an apology, but there was a hunger beneath them, a need to make things right in the way only he could. His other hand slid around to your lower back, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you, every inch of him pressing into you. You could feel the heat radiating off him, his body tense with restraint, and yet he moved with a deliberate slowness, savoring the moment.

"...and I should apologize," he added, his voice dark and sultry, the guilt evident, but his actions betraying the lust that burned underneath. His hand on your thigh squeezed gently, teasing, making your breath hitch as the warmth of his touch seeped into your skin.

You could feel the tension building between you, his body pinning you in place as if he was waiting for your permission to continue, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours. You leaned in just enough to brush your lips against his, a silent invitation, and that was all it took.

He flips you around and hands already at your cunt. You can feel his movements as he hinges you at the hips, working your thong down the meat of your thighs. He grabs big handfuls of your ass, kneading you open so he is face-to-face with your dripping pussy. He gives it a light slap before fingering you open for him. 

"This what you've been hidin'? Getting soaked like a fucking slut?" He's knuckle-deep, working his digits in and out of you with little resistance. You're struggling not to moan, knowing how thin these walls are. 

“Gotta be quiet Schatzi. You don’t want to give these Italians a show, do you?” He withdraws his fingers and pushes his pants down, unleashing himself from his boxer briefs. He pushes you back down and pushes himself in. 

He sinks himself to the hilt, burying himself inside you with a low grunt. He pauses, clutching your hips tightly. "This what you wanted, huh?" He pulls out slowly, only to thrust back in hard. He picks up the pace, slamming into you with force. "You better clench that pretty little kitty, or I'll finish on your back instead."

“N-no, don’t pull out, Seb…” You clamp your hand around your mouth to smother your moans, but the slick sounds of your hole fill the room regardless. 

Hands spreading the globes of your ass, he forces you deeper, harder. You've never seen him like this, so desperate for your cum. Your tits shake with the force of his thrusts, another thread coiling up at the base of your stomach. You're both lost in the bliss of it all when there's a knock at the door. It was Britta’s voice.

“Are you okay in there, Y/n?” 

The door handle rattles and your heart jumps at the thought of her coming in. Did Seb lock the door? You rack your brains, unable to think properly. 

Sebastian notices the way your pussy clenches at the thought of someone walking in, seeing you both like this and speeds up. You paw at the hand migrated to your pussy, trying not to moan out loud. Logically, you know if you told him to stop he would, and you should tell him to stop. But something about the stormy look in his eyes, the fervour and energy that he uses to fuck you…. 

“Answer her, Liebe. You don’t want her to come in here and see us like this, right?” He whispers into your ears while keeping up with the pace, pounding into your pussy. 

“Britta, I’m ok. Just need to fix the outfit a little bit then I will come back.” 

“Sure. Also, did Seb with you, ‘cause I can’t find him anywhere.”

“Maybe he has sneaked off somewhere to have a drink with Kimi?”

“Ok, I’ll go get him right now. Do you need anything?”

“I’m all good, Britta. Good luck finding him.”

Sebastian pulls you up by your hair, your back arches and his arm wrapped around your middle, holding you up. “Good girl, you did so well, Liebe and for that, I think you deserve to cum on my cock.” his lips against your ear.

You nod your head, knowing if you speak, you’ll just be rambling incoherently. “Gonna cum for me, aren't you? You’re my good girl.” He says.

“Come on my cock first, Schatz. Wanna make your slick pussy feel so good, smear my dick with your cream.” 

You drop your mouth open and you moan loudly when your orgasm gush out over Seb’s wide cock. He continues thrusting up into you as he feels you crumble on his dick. 

With a clenched jaw and gritted teeth, Sebastian finally saw stars as he came deep inside of you, hitting your insides with his frothy come, pulsing himself in and out of you as he rode out his high, his thighs quivering.

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[lokisprettygirl]

Come As You Are (Eric Draven! Bill Skarsgard's Version x Female Reader) (18+) (Slight Au)

Read chapter 8 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 9

Summary : Calm before the storm is always soothing isn't it?

Warning: 18+, Smutty smut, more smut, dirty sexual thoughts, cum play, Description of self harm, dry humping, Eric is a past drug addict with suicidal tendencies, self harm, use of cuss words, description of claustrophobia, reader is in her early thirties, mention of sexual assault, death and murder, Consumption of alcohol and weed, periods

Note: Enjoy the fluff and smut in this.

Eric hated it when you just didn't tell him wherever you were going or what plans you were making after work with Dina or Cheryl. He sounded like a controlling jerk, his past wasn't an excuse to act this way but he didn't like not knowing where you were if you weren't at home or at the diner. He just wanted you to go to work and come back on time, if not all he needed was for you to tell him where you were going but sometimes he felt that you did things on purpose just to piss him off.

As he came back today he didn't find you in your apartment, you had given him the spare key so he used it to get in yours instead of his own, he practically lived in your place now, he had even replaced his bed with yours, as much as he enjoyed your body squished into him, he really needed both of you to sleep well at nights.

He grabbed his phone and dialled your number, when you picked up he could hear the loud music blazing in the background and he couldn't hear your voice clearly which made him tense up but after a few seconds the music had faded,

“Baby you're home early today aren't you?” You said to him so he sighed.

“Early or not, I have asked you to inform me wherever you're going, right?” he asked you sternly so you bit on your lower lip. You didn't know why but you found it so hot when he went all 'Daddy' on you like this.

“Yeah I'm at this club next to the diner.. Dina was bummed about something and needed a drink and i figured I'd be back before you know it” you answered shamelessly knowing it would piss him off further.

“So you're getting drunk and didn't think I'd like to know your whereabouts?” you squeezed your eyes as he said that even though you had anticipated it.

“I'm not drunk, I had one drink.. you know I don't like being drunk anymore..I'll be back soon okay? Infact we will take off now” He sighed as you said that, he didn't want to argue with you, he had missed you all day and all he wanted was for you to come back and hold him.

“I'll come get you darling” he answered but you interrupted him.

“What happened to keeping this a secret?” you asked

“I'll have a disguise or something”

He could hear you chuckling as he said that.

“You stay put and you wait for me okay? Be the one to wait today, I do that everyday” you said softly so he grumbled but gave in.

About half an hour later when you came back home you found his tall shirtless frame in the kitchen snacking onto a box of fruit loops. He was a giant big baby.

You were indeed slightly tipsy so you giggled at the sight before you walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his lower back to hug him from behind. He was so tall, without your heels you barely reached the middle of his back.

“What am I gonna do with you y/n?” he sighed as he turned around and cupped your cheeks to make you look up at him.

“You can do plenty but we both know how much you hate to cause me discomfort” his cute nose flared as you sassed with him.

“This is not funny”

“I know, i should have texted you I'm sorry, I just thought I'd get home before you do”

“It doesn't matter, i need to know anyways, it's important for me” you held his cheeks as his voice softened. He was afraid but you didn't like him being so worried about you.

“Okay..baby..I'm sorry..i really am”

“You can't just say sorry when you do things on purpose, I warned you the last time” you nodded as he said that.

“Are you starting to realise I'm not a good girl?” his mouth curved into a side smile as you said that.

“That's the problem..you're the best, but you love pissing me off”

“No I don't. I just don't want you so worried about me all the time, I'll always come back to you” he let out a defeated sigh, you didn't understand the horrors that existed in his world.

“You don't know what it's like darling -”

“I know..but I do know that I'm not going anywhere where you can't find me”

But you can, he thought, if you die he won't be able to bring you back, he had no soul to trade any longer, he gave it up for her.

“Hey..come on now, I need my cuddles” you said as you dragged him into the bedroom so he grumbled in a fake annoyance as if he wasn't thinking about falling back into the bed with you the moment he woke up this morning.

“I want to apologise” you said as you straddled him on the bed.

Been four weeks now and he was still restraining himself from fucking you.

He looked at you, the crimson dress you had on was so tight and short he hadn't even noticed it before because he was stressed and pissed.

“You should apologise for putting on this daddy please fuck me dress and then going out without me”

Keep talking.

“Well secrecy was not my idea..you could have been there grinding against me” He smiled as you said that but he couldn't risk it again, not with you, if they weren't frolicking around so freely when Melody was on the run from Roeg perhaps he could have protected her better.

As you leaned over him he grabbed your waist and pressed his head up to kiss you before he flipped you underneath him, his mouth didn't leave yours for a second.

“When will you fuck me?” you asked him between the kisses so he pulled away to look at you.

“Not tonight”

What a disappointment.

“You treat me like a girl i feel like I'm in my early twenties” you said as you caressed his cheek so he gave you a mischievous smile.

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah I do..i hate being in my thirties”

His brows furrowed as you said that.

“Why is that?”

“You know how it is.. and I'm dreading going home next week”

Yeah!! He didn't want to think about that at all. When you told him last week about some cousin's wedding in Ohio that you had to attend, he didn't know how to react, being away from you for five days didn't feel right to him. How was he supposed to protect you from that distance?

“Don't go then? Don't need to be around such negativity”

You hummed as he said that, you had told him about your family, your workaholic absent dad and your narcissist mother and her over critical thoughts about your personal life and career choices, or the lack of it.

“I have to..i promised Sheena I'd be there, I'm one of the bridesmaids you know?” you said to him so he smiled

“Yeah? My little bridesmaid” he kissed your forehead as he spoke.

“I wish you could come with me” you mumbled softly so he stared at you

“You can't take me home sweetheart..I'm not the type of guy you should be taking to your parents especially when I'm the first one” he mumbled softly.

“But you're the guy ..you're my guy”

“It's because you're so stupid to choose me instead of a decent man”

“I can say the same to you?” he chuckled as you said that.

“How could you possibly say the same to me?” he challenged you. You were an angel as compared to him.

“You could pull an absolute baddie for a girlfriend and here you are stuck with a thirty two years old waitress”

His jaw clenched as you said that, he failed the challenge apparently, he had the tendency to forget how cruel you could be to yourself. “Doesn't it feel nice when I turn it around huh?”

“You're lucky I find you cute sweetheart when you're being so sassy”

“No..but seriously though, can't you just come with me? You don't have to meet my family..just be around somewhere I can go see you when I want to pull the hair out of my scalp after being around my family”

Why didn't he think of that?

“Mmm well..thats not a bad idea ..we can do that”

“Yeah? Can we take the train? Book a cabin..just the two of us for 7 hours and we can pretend to not know each other all you want” he chuckled as you said that, you had already thought about it.

“You have weird fantasies”

“Mmmhm all of them involves you”

“Yeah they do .. you obsessed little freak” you bit on your lips at his words, they weren't a lie if nothing. You were so obsessed with him.

“Mmm let me suck your cock” his heart skipped a beat at the sudden change in conversation.

“Fuck y/n..you have never been gagged in your life have you?”

“Please let me suck on your pretty cock..I'll do anything you want after that” you pleaded with him with that familiar look in your eyes that he couldn't resist.

As if you sucking his cock wasn't everything he'd ever need in life.

How could he deny you this when you asked so sweetly, he laid down on the bed but you asked him to get up and sit at the edge of the bed with his long legs wide open so you could sit between them. You just loved it, the sight of his naked body turned you on in ways you couldn't begin to describe.

His fists clenched onto the edge of the mattress as you slipped him into your mouth without wasting a second further, but then you took him out and used your hand just so you could stare at his beautiful face, the way he opened his mouth and tried to stifle his moans was your favorite sight.

“If I had your talent..I'd draw you like this..you look absolutely divine” he let out a chuckle as you said that. Not the word he'd ever associate with himself.

All the pent up sexual frustration you have had over the years came out in his presence, you felt like the filthiest whore for him, willing to do whatever he wanted. He never really asked for much though but you knew you'd go to your limits to please him sexually or in any which ways he wanted.

Hell you'd let him spit on the floor and lick it if he'd ask you to.

If he could hear the thoughts running through your head right now he probably would not treat you so delicately as if you were a flower.

He clutched his fingers into your scalp and tugged on your hair as you bobbed your head back and forth, he had never had this before, never had a woman sucking onto him as if she absolutely needed it. Not even Melody, they had sex a lot, but oral wasn't something they did very often, giving or receiving, so it was something special he had just with you.

You had sucked him off five times now since that night he had that nightmare and each time he tried his best to hold on, give you time to enjoy suckling on his flesh as much as you wanted to but you always made him lose it so quickly. Fucking powers didn't really work against that talented mouth of yours...

God he loved you so much.

He cupped your cheeks and craned your head up before he leaned down to kiss you softly, you couldn't help but smile at the gesture.

“Carry on” he whispered softly as he straightened himself up, the immaculate posture of his made him look so giant as compared to you.

“You know in the club..i have been thinking about you.. missing you” you said as you jerked him off slowly so he looked at you with his glassy heavy eyelids. “People making out around me and all i could think about was coming home to the most gorgeous man i have ever seen and doing exactly this to him”

He let out a groan as you said that, the thought of you thinking about sucking his cock even when you were amidst people was a tantalizing one.

“I underestimate you sweetheart” he said, his voice just a breathy whisper.

“It's because I'm a Virgin”

Well yeah.

He expected more innocence but then you were a grown woman and not some teenage girl.

“Mmmhm”

“Virgins have the most overactive imagination”

“Fuckk..i know that now” he moaned as you continued your ministrations on his cock.

“Good..so cum on my face”

That was all the encouragement he needed to tip him off the edge, he watched as his cum splattered on your face, you had your eyes closed, mouth open, not wanting to waste a drop of his cum.

He slumped down on the bed as his whole body felt so weak.

After a moment you crawled up on him so he stared at your beautiful cum soaked face. He then wrapped his fingers around your neck and kissed you before he laid you down on the bed underneath him.

“Stay here like this” he said as looked at you carefully before he got off the bed, leaving you confused.

“What?” You asked but he didn't answer you. You heard your main door slamming once and then again after a minute as he returned with his drawing pad and pencil, he pulled a chair out in front of you and sat down. You propped yourself on your elbows to stare at him and his mouth curved into a smile as if he was hit with a sudden burst of inspiration.

“Perfect..so beautiful. Stay just like that, don't move” he said to you as he began to sketch you.

He was drawing you like one of his french girls. You were having your very own Rose moment but the x rated version of it. His cum had dried on your face by the time he was done with his little project.

Once he was satisfied he got up, kept the drawing aside and picked you up swiftly to take you to the bathroom, so he could clean you up

“You're so filthy” he said as he ran a washcloth under the cold water and began to wipe your face.

“Says the man who let me marinate in his cum for half n hour”

He chuckled as you said that,

“You say the dirtiest thing sweetheart, have you always been like this or i bring out the freak in you?” he whispered as he pulled you closer to kiss you.

His naked body was distracting you again, you couldn't help it, he was so tall and muscular, add that pretty face to the mix he was pure perfection, that's what had attracted you to him at first but knowing him now it was everything else that made you fall in love with him, he had been so hurt in his life, he had loved and lost, he had suffered.

All you wanted was to take care of him and never let him get hurt again, especially not emotionally. You wanted to kiss all the scars on his beautiful skin and tell him how strong, how perseverant he was and how proud you were to have him as yours.

A week later you were doing the final packing for your cousin's wedding, the train was supposed to leave in five hours, he was just watching you do the work while he laid on the bed, he wasn't a fan of packing so he wanted you to do it for him.

Six months ago you couldn't have imagined any of this happening to you but dreams do come true, you still didn't know what he actually did or how he made money, a part of you had stopped caring if you were being honest to yourself.

Next morning when he woke up he turned you on your back and just stared at you before he placed his head between the crook of your neck and began to kiss your soft skin until he had your arms wrapped around him. Thanking the God for showing him some mercy afterall.

Perhaps you were the fruition of his good karma.

“Eric..where will you live baby?”

You asked him so he sighed.

“Whereever is close to your place” he said nonchalantly so you hummed in response.

“You know you don't have to come if you don't feel like it..I'll be fine..it's just five days” you said as you crawled into the bed, it's not that you didn't want him to come but you didn't want him to feel forced to do it.

“I know you'd be fine..you're a big girl” he said as he cupped your cheeks and kissed you “I on the other hand..won't be fine without you, just the thought of coming back to this empty apartment makes me..sick”

It really did, he knew this is what would happen if he allowed himself to get so close to you, the moment he saw you he knew you'd become so important to him, that's one of the million reasons why he was afraid in the beginning and wanted to push you away.

Your eyes teared up as he said that, his voice was so soft and gentle.

“Then you better shower and get ready”

He wanted to take different cabs to the station so you're not seen together but you didn't question his methods anymore.

You fidgeted with your fingers as the train was about to depart and he still hadn't joined your cabin, but the moment you were going to call him you watched him enter with his small luggage.

He sat down in front of you so you glared at him.

“You'd have missed it” you said to him so he perked up his brows.

“Excuse me?” Do I know you?” He asked you, the stupid smirk apparent on his face making you roll your eyes.

As it got dark you threw the caution out of the window and joined his berth, snuggling into him for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately 7 hours weren't that long when you wanted them to be. You had already given him the address to your parents' house as well the venue where the wedding and reception was being held.

“You call me when you get to the hotel okay?” You said to him as you fixed his clothes before you two would step out of the cabin “I'll miss you” you mumbled softly so he smiled

“I'm right here” he kissed you before he wrapped his arms around you to hug you.

For the next two days you didn't really get to see him, you were catching up with your cousins but you did send him pictures whenever you found yourself to be pretty. And today you looked really lovely in your bridesmaids dress. Sheena had a good taste, it was a peach coloured full length bodycon dress with cute straps, Eric made you workout with him these days and damn your shoulders were starting to look really good.

You had your picture taken by a cousin of yours before so you sent it to him and instead of receiving a text back he called you instead so you picked it up with a smile.

“Hey beautiful” your face flushed as you heard his soft voice

“God i wish you were here” you said to him so he sighed. He wished that too, he really needed you in his bed with that dress of yours bunched up around your waist as he'd eat you out. He was going to respond but then there was an interruption.

“You look like such a woman now” you heard your mom's voice as she entered your room so you put the phone away from your ears.

“As opposed to what exactly?” you asked her, knowing very well nothing good will come out of her mouth.

“You're getting fat and out of shape, you're thirty two but I look better than you, I was younger than you and had you already and I still maintained. You have no stress in life and yet you're losing yourself, what man would want to marry you like this?” She said as she looked at you up and down, your eyes became teary at her harsh tone. You were used to it now, her criticisms but it still hurt because you felt good for once and that didn't happen very often, her cruel words had managed to make you feel insecure again.

You wanted to scream in her face that you already had a handsome man in your life who didn't really care how you looked.

As she left you placed the phone back to your ears and composed your voice to not give away your hurt.

“Baby I gotta go..I'll talk to you tonight okay?” You said softly, hoping he hadn't heard her.

“Darling -”

“I really need to go..I'll message you”

His jaw clenched as you hung up, he hadn't even met your mother yet and he already wanted to strangle her. How could she be so mean to her own daughter like this? He'd have been surprised but then he knew humans were truly awful when they wanted to be.

'You're so beautiful darling, don't listen to her or anyone else who says otherwise. Come to me after the reception okay? I'll show you how pretty you are'

His message did make you smile and you wanted to ignore what your mom had said but at the wedding the whole family was on your case for one reason or another, but mostly about you being unmarried and childless, you had lied to them that you were a receptionist at this five star hotel in Chicago, god knows what they'd have said if they knew you worked as a waitress in a diner.

As soon as people got more drunk and busy at the reception you got yourself out of those painful heels to put something comforting on and then made your way to the motel Eric had been staying in, you were done socializing with these stupid people.

When he opened the door he looked at your sullen little face so he immediately pulled you in for a hug. That's when you broke down in tears, he felt so nice, so safe, so comforting, so warm and gentle that you just crumbled in his arms the moment his familiar masculine scent engulfed you.

He didn't say anything, he allowed you to let it out before he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you away slightly just so he could look at you. The sight of you crying always hurt him in the deepest corner of his heart and to know that those people who were supposed to be your family made you feel this way filled him with murderous rage.

“Sssh now enough okay?” He mumbled softly as he kissed you, trying to quieten the sobs that won't stop coming.

“Do I look fat?” you asked him so he chuckled.

“What if you do? Does that make you undesirable in any way?” You looked him in the eye as he said that, he wasn't trying to comfort you, he was asking sincerely.

“I don't want you for your body, baby. I want your body because it belongs to you.” His fingers trailed over your curves as he spoke “Don't listen to your mother or any of those assholes in your family” he grabbed your arm and dragged you towards the dresser so he could make you look at yourself in the mirror. He was so tall he was able to place his chin on your head even as he stood behind you.

“Look at her, so pretty isn't she? Even with the tears and messed up makeup” he said as his thumb rubbed over your lips, ruining that lipstick further, you turned your head to look at him and got on your tiptoes to kiss him, arms flung around his neck as his hands pulled you closer, his palms caressing your ass.

“The moment you sent me that picture in this dress I was so fucking hard for you sweetheart, so fucking proud to know you're all mine”

He quickly lifted you up and walked towards the bed to lay you down before he took his shirt off as he got on top of you, then he grabbed both of your wrists with one hand and placed them over your head as he leaned down to kiss you.

“You have no idea what it does to me..the fact that you won't let anyone touch you but me” he whispered as he kissed down from your jawline to your sternum, breathing in as he pressed his head between your breasts.

“Baby fuck me please..I need it I want” you let out a whiny plea so he looked at you.

“I'm not going to fuck you in some cheap motel sweetheart” he said that with a smile, he was so frustrating at times, the patience and restraint he showed you was extraordinary.

“Why not? The place doesn't matter to me”

“It does..you deserve better for your first time” you whined as he said that.

“I really wanted to go home smelling like you tonight”

“I can manage that” he said as he bunched your dress up to your waist and opened your legs wider, placing his head over your soaking heat he took a deep breath, the gesture alone made you tighten your thighs around him.

“So wet-” he stated the obvious so you bit on your lips.

“I have been thinking about you all day baby”

“So have i..” his fingers hooked around the waistband of your panties and he pulled them down, his eyes darkened with immense lust as he looked at your completely waxed cunt, without wasting a second further he dived in, his mouth sucking on your clit and tongue lapping up at the wetness.

“I wonder what they'd say..your family..if they knew where you are right now” he murmured between his nipping and sucking.

“Mmmm nothing good” you answered as you caressed his scalp.

“I know.. didn't have a man for thirty two years and now you're letting yourself get defiled like a whore in this cheap motel by a criminal like me”

Fuckkkk you wanted to cum.

“Eric ..don't say that baby, you're not a criminal”

You said but his words had made you buck your hips into his face. Truth to be told you didn't care as long as he wasn't hurting innocent people.

“It's true..you know I'm not a good man”

“That's the problem, you're the best” you threw his own words back into his face so he smiled..

He brought his hand up and rubbed your lips before he tried to push his middle finger inside.

“Relax baby..let me loosen you up slowly, wouldn't want you to split in half on my cock”

Oh but you wanted it so badly. You wanted to feel the pain, you needed him to make it hurt if it meant he'd be inside you.

You relaxed your walls as he said that, he groaned as he barely managed to shove his finger in. He kept looking at your face to see if you felt okay and you just seemed blissed out of your mind.

“So fucking tight” he groaned as he slowly pumped them in and out, his thumb stimulated your clit simultaneously. It didn't take much for him to make you come undone, all your senses were fogged with his touch, with his smell, with his voice, you felt overwhelmed but in all the good ways.

He stared at you as you rode your high, his fingers didn't stop moving though, not until he had you completely relaxed into the mattress, your body limp with exhaustion from the orgasm.

Usually he didn't ask for anything in return, he wasn't going to ask today either but he needed a release, his cock ached painfully and he needed to cum screaming your name before he'd lose all control.

You watched as he pulled his cock out of his pants, his fingers then ran over your wetness and he used it as a lube to aid his movements.

As much as you wanted to put him in your mouth, he just needed you to watch so you obliged, you were his good girl afterall.

He stared at your wet cunt as he pumped his cock at a faster pace, you looked so dishevelled but this was becoming a favorite sight of his in this wretched world. He had something so pure, so precious right here in you.

“Show me your pretty tits baby” he said firmly, his voice dominant, he wasn't asking you, it was a command so you got up and unzipped your dress before you laid back down and lowered the straps as slowly as possible to tease him..

His breathing came out in shuddering waves as you exposed yourself to him slowly. You had no idea how perfect you were to him in all your gloriousness.

He placed his other hand over your bosom, cupping them both in one grip as he gave them a light squeeze before he placed his hand on your throat and began to thrust in his own fist..

The image was pornographic at best, you couldn't even believe at times you had a man on top of you who looked like that. You placed your hands on his wrist that was on your throat, wanting to lick up the sweat that dripped down from the dip of his neck to his sternum. You grabbed his thumb and sucked it in your mouth, that's when he came with the loud grunt of your name.

You felt his warm cum dribbling down over you, he made sure to cover every inch of that smooth little cunt with his hot release.

“God I love you” he whispered as he leaned down to kiss the breath out of you.

You were definitely going home smelling like him.

After he took care of you and cleaned you up like the decent boy he was, he pulled up your underwear and then he fixed your dress to cuddle you.

“Do you have to go?” He asked you so you sighed.

“No..not really but my parents want us to have a chat ..I'm late already I think” you had been hearing your phone buzz for a while now but you didn't care.

“Why? So they could criticize you some more?” His jaw clenched as he spoke, he hated how they treated you and he wished he was able to stick up for you but he felt helpless.

“It's okay..just two more days then we can go back in our own bubble” you said softly as you cupped his cheeks to kiss him.

That's what he wanted to do, he really loved that bubble you two lived in but two days later when you both returned he saw Melody outside of the building, waiting to speak with him, her eyes held the same fear he had seen in those days when they were on the run from Vincent Roeg.

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist: @m-riaa @erebus-et-eigengrau @peachychyy @enchantresss97 @fandomxo00 @a-differentbrandof-beans @mariaenchanted

[gugapuppy]

Abortion - Part 7 (A!Ghost x O!Soap)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

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First of all, HAPPY 2025!!! 🙌🎉🥳 I hope you had a great New Year's Eve with lots of food, music and fun!

Now, on to the chapter.

CW: Abortion (Offscreen)

═══════════════════════════

"So... what did you want to talk about?" Soap stared at his own coffee, which exuded a slight vapour, and on the other side of the table, Laswell sat with her arms folded, her face calm.

She had arrived early the day after she and Price had come, saying that she would like to talk to Soap without the lads getting in their way, so the two of them decided to go to a coffee shop a few blocks away.

She swallowed and cleared her throat, making Soap look at her.

"First of all I'd like to explain properly about last night, I insisted that Price didn't come yesterday, but he wouldn't listen." She uncrosses her arms and places them on the table. "Let me explain the Ghost situation."

"Laswell," Soap exclaims, not knowing whether or not he wants to hear about his ex.

"Just... listen to me, after that I won't say anything else." Soap stares at her momentarily until she decides to give a small nod and take a sip of her coffee.

"Last night Ghost called Price, I was with him at the time." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "What Price said last night about Ghost wanting to be a part of your pregnancy is true."

"Then why did he leave me and accuse me, Laswell?! Why?!" A few people look round at Soap as he raises his voice.

"A few years ago, Ghost became a POW for a cartel in Mexico, the things those people did to him... it's something that shouldn't be commented on."

"And what's that got to do with it?" Soap almost spits at Laswell in indignation.

She pauses, thinking about how to tell Soap until she decides to just be blunt. "The reason Ghost walked away after you broke the news to him is because he thought he was infertile."

Soap pauses briefly, repeating Laswell's words in her head on a loop for a moment. The reason Ghost walked away is because he ‘thought’ he was infertile? He could have spoken to Soap if he was unsure!

"Ghost apparently shared this information with Farah who made him take a fertility test, the results of which showed that there were no fertility problems or STIs." Laswell added, leaving Soap with his mouth ajar and anxious.

Someone had to force Ghost to take a test... didn't he even think that maybe he was the father? He didn't even imagine the likelihood, he just jumped into what he always does and ignored everything. As if it was nothing. As if Soap simply didn't matter.

The touch of Laswell's hand on his makes him blink back to reality.

"He didn't trust me? Why didn't he tell me about this doubt, this could all have been avoided if he'd just..." Soap just shakes his head.

"Sometimes people are insecure and prefer to ignore the small ray of hope." She squeezes Soap's hand before letting go. "What do you want to do John?"

Soap doesn't answer right away, he thinks for a moment until he finally decides on an answer.

"I can't go back to Laswell... What guarantee is there that he won't ignore me or abandon me again? I tried to go after him even when he was accusing me of things I would never do... I can't go back to him. Not anymore."

Johnny tries to be strong, but every few moments his eyes start to get heavy and his jaw quivers with a small sob. His head shakes slightly,

Laswell's breathing is cut off for a moment, the smell of a stressed and sad omega spreads through the air. She moves over and stands next to Soap, trying to scent him and calm him down, which gradually works.

While she's crouched down next to Soap helping him, she says calmly. "I'm here for you, John." She hugs him straight away.

Soap returns the alpha's embrace, and in a stammer he says. "Kate... I need a favour."

--🧼--

The next day after the conversation with Laswell, Soap decided to write Simon a goodbye letter, he knew that seeing the alpha wasn't something that was going to happen.

When the day finally arrived, Johnny was nervous, every atom of his existence telling him not to proceed. But he knew that it was the omega's instincts, the instinct to look after the baby and not let anything hurt it. To be a dad.

Gaz had one arm around Soap's shoulder, one of his hands gripping omega's tightly.

Soap felt more at ease with his best friend there. He just wanted to make a nest and put him and Gaz inside, never to come out again.

Some of the patients passing by thought it was strange to see two big, strong men, one of them purring loudly at the other, but in all honesty, Soap didn't give a damn what anyone else thought.

The moment Gaz's sister called out to them, the two of them followed, Gaz saying that he would wait for Soap.

John was taken to a room where he was instructed to wear one of the hospital's clothes. Gaz's sister offered more strongly for the last time that Soap might see one of the therapists first, but the sergeant refused.

And then he was redirected to the room where the surgery was to take place.

As one of the doctors put on the anaesthetic gas mask, John's consciousness gradually faded, leaving only one thought. 

I'm sorry, pup.

--🧼--

When Soap finally woke up, he was lying on a bed, his body was sore and a slight dizziness ran through his head.

Next door he heard someone getting up and then something being put near his mouth, Soap jumped away, but then he heard it.

"It's just a straw, it's water." Gaz said calmly.

Soap drank the water little by little, his throat didn't hurt but his body did, he opened his eyes and looked around. He was in a private room, a window in the wall showed that it was night.

Slowly he sits up in bed, holding his hands a little too tightly. 

Gaz sits down on a small part of the bed next to Soap, who, just as Gaz gets into bed, rests his head on his shoulder. Gaz puts his arm round Soap and shakes him little by little, as if he were a child.

Soap slowly hides his face in Gaz's shoulder, and it's not long before the beta hears sniffling and something wet on his neck.

"It's done..." Soap sighs quietly.

Gaz lightly lays them both down on the bed, giving them little rubs.

"It's done..." Gaz affirms.

═══════════════════════════

Yes, it happened, and yes, there is no happy ending to this story. But this story will have two or three more chapters, which will be the bad ending and the hopeful ending.

If you're going through a difficult time and you're having doubts, see a counsellor for your own good. They will be able to help you.

Take care, and see you guys later.

PS: I guess because I was having a happy day this week, there wasn't much angst, but I'll make it up to you in the next chapter.

[iwriteiguessandiloveit]

Tie Troubles (TM)

(Musical) Beetlejuice x Reader

Tie Troubles (TM)

‘Beej? Almost ready?’ You pulled on your boots and adjusted your hair clip, waiting expectantly for your ghostly boyfriend to make an appearance beside you in the doorway. 

Silence.

Strange. Wasn't he just in the bedroom, fixing up his jacket? 

It was oddly quiet, no laughs or even screams, no breaking dishes. Today of all days, he knew it wasn't a day to mess around. You were going to your parent’s house to have dinner; It would be the first time Beetlejuice would meet them. You wanted everything to be perfect. 

It didn't take you long to find out where he was. A ray of light shone through the cracked door, and you heard the faint babble of BJ’s voice, the  pulling of fabric and the occasional aggravated whine. 

You checked the time on your phone, reading ‘7:57 pm’. Your leave time was 8. Whatever this was, hopefully it could be solved in three minutes. 

At the exact same time as you pushed open the door, there was a sickening ‘SWIICHKK’ and a thud-and the head of Lawrence Beetlejuice Shoggoth came rolling to a stop at your feet. 

You weren't even fazed. 

‘C’mon dude! We should have already left by now. Why in the world is your head on the floor?’ You leaned down and grasped the sides of his head-avoiding the grody place where his skull and neck had been severed-and pushed it back onto his shoulders with a ‘squelch’. The crack of bones echoed as he adjusted the reconnection of his brain and body. His hair was flush with red, something you didn't notice until just then. You scratched the back of your neck, a somewhat uneasy feeling of concern for him settling in your gut. ‘I was tyin’ my tie! I-um, might’ve made it a little too tight.’ He picks up the frayed matte-black tie and holds it up for you to see, bits of flesh stuck to it from slicing through his vertebrae. Your concern was overridden by your frustration, and you heaved a put-out sigh. ‘Mhm, if it chopped off your head then it was

definitely too tight.’ You started for the door, eager to get going. ‘Now hurry up and put it on, Beej, we’re gonna be late.’ 

He opened and closed his mouth without making a sound, as if deciding on whether to say what was on his mind. something was clearly bothering him. You asked, ‘What is it?’  With a gulp he blurted out, ‘I-I-I don’t know how!’ His hair was pink through-and-through, fidgeting with his hands nervously and avoiding your eyes.

‘Oh.’ You crossed back over to him, picked up the tie and looped it around his neck. ‘Is that all?’ 

‘It’s pathetic! It’s such a simple thing, I never learned, Juno did it for me once, whenever it came off I’d ask Lydia.’ He sighed. ‘I don't want your parents to think i'm incapable, I want everything to go perfect!' 

‘And it will.’ You finished up the knot, pulling it tight and fiddled with his collar. 

He started up again with his spiral-‘I just-’ your fingers curled around the recent piece of subject matter you just secured, and pulled him in for a kiss; Effectively shutting him up. A shudder you could feel ran through the demon’s body and enthusiastically returned it. The taste of moss and cigarettes were a taste you had grown quite attached to. The reluctant step away you took made him whine. ‘Babe…’ 

‘We gotta go, Beej. There's time for that when we get home. After I teach you to properly do up your tie.’ Still lovestruck, he nodded fervently. 

‘Works for me!’ 

You took his hand and pulled him out the door. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I loved writing this one-soft Beej has my heart.

(I wear ties nearly daily, so I got to use my knowledge 😄)

@saddled-on-stars, this one's for you!

-Rea ❤

[minyard-05]

damocles

me again coming back to type up another word vomit 'essay' about a song i've had on loop for the past ~8 hours.

SO. damocles.

the main thing that stands out to me lyrically is the tense change. like a lot of sleep token's songs have a tendency to be set in the past, as if vessel is recounting feelings and events that can't be undone. from this perspective he picks apart his own emotions and analyses himself, questioning his own existence through the lens of trying to put himself in context for the audience (in some cases this presents itself as almost trying to justify his actions but thats a different post). damocles does have a bit of this, in the bridge with the 'nobody told me' lines, but primarily, it's about what's happening now, how he feels now, and the entire chorus is focused on the future. that uncertainty in the lyricism, and the honesty of lines like 'no one else knows that i've got a problem' is i think what gives the entire song its whole Vibe, and why i think it's probably one of their hardest hitting tracks so far. before, the stories might have been sad, but they were certain. like, we may be doomed but at least we know we're doomed. but in damocles, vessel doesn't know what's happening or where he goes from here, and that's what makes it scary.

another thing it does really well is capture the whole feeling of catastrophising and overthinking, as shown in the chorus:

"When the river runs dry and the curtain is called / How will I know if I can't see the bottom? / Come up for air and choke on it all / No one else knows that I've got a problem / What if I can't get up and stand tall? / What if the diamond days are all gone, and who will I be when the empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten"

a big part of what backs up the uncertainty theme I mentioned earlier is actually the way this part of the song is done technically. the piano is the only instrument alongside vessel's voice as of yet, and it begins softly, mirroring the vocal line in a ballad style, but when the chorus starts, the tempo increases. the entire first chorus happens in the span of about 25 seconds, whereas the first verse lasts twice longer, about 50 seconds. this increase means that the song doesn't feel rushed, but tense, before it slows back down to bring in the drums on verse 2. i don't know about you guys but the first time i listened to it i actually kind of felt a little on edge, because the way it's composed means that it musically raises a question that isn't really answered. in a sense, the chorus never really gets closure, all the questions vessel asks himself don't get any response from sleep, if that's who he's talking to. damocles is telling us a story that doesn't have an ending, not yet.

lyrically though, and this may be somewhat of a self contradiction, but it feels to me like damocles is something of a sequel to caramel. side by side, the songs actually feed fairly well into each other, following similar thematic ideas, but the main split is that caramel is about the pressure of being known and damocles is about the fear of being forgotten. i talked about this already a little in my caramel post but i feel like there's really no way where this song isn't an incredibly personal message from the singer himself, not the character of Vessel.

like let's look at the line from the chorus again: "Who will I be when the empire falls?" and lets take this 'empire' to mean Sleep Token as a project. they've been immensely successful, especially in the past two years, and success for musicians comes as a blessing and a curse. more fans = more people to share your art with and more money gained from concert tickets and merch sales to then fund creating and recording more music, which is all good! however, success also means interest, and interest means critics picking every second of every single apart, it means there will be people who only like you when you're doing one specific thing, and if you deviate from that binary, it will never be as good as your old stuff. sleep token are not just a metal band, and damocles isn't a metal song, and the more you experiment with new styles and techniques in your art, the higher the chances you will alienate people who don't like your new stuff. unfortunately, a lot of people LOVE to voice this dislike online, and with the internet being the behemoth that it is, it's easier for artists to see those critiques. and yeah, fuck the haters, create what makes you happy, i'm all for that, but from an artist's perspective that's way easier said than done. all this to say that the speed at which sleep token gained mainstream popularity, and all the bullshit that comes with it, is undeniably going to take a toll on the musicians themselves.

they've been anonymous throughout their whole career thus far, and have been explicit in saying that choice was made to protect their personal privacy AS IS THEIR RIGHT. but i'm wondering if damocles is in part about the fact that while they stay anonymous to stop Sleep Token from taking over their lives, it kind of feels like it did anyway. because while you can disconnect from the internet and not look at the comments or the critics, there is always this nagging question at the back of your mind that says is it good enough? do they like it? do they like me? did i get it right? am i good enough?. fame is fickle, and if you're not constantly keeping yourself afloat, the tide will drop you. so to me, "Who will I be when the empire falls? / Wake up alone, and I'll be forgotten" sounds like vessel wondering if he's already written himself over in the context of the band, and when 'the empire falls', i.e, when the band ends, does he go back to his normal life? does he start over again? did any of it ever matter?

and the uncertainty comes back, because maybe he doesn't know when the empire will fall, maybe he doesn't want it to. but he is Damocles now, on his throne he looks over the empire, and he waits for the sword to drop.

[sidebar: in the original story of Damocles, he was a courtier of Dionysius (not the god), and flattered his king, essentially saying he was fortunate and blessed to have so much power. Dionysius offered Damocles the chance to sit on his throne for a day, but he had a sword suspended over it by a single horsehair. the moral of the story is that it's a lot more work than it looks to be a leader, and great ones will always have enemies, dangers that are just out of sight but ever-present. Sleep & Vessel parallels anyone????]

MAYBE that's a stretch. but i'm not done because now i want to talk about the bridge.

"And nobody told me I'd be begging for relief / When what is silent to you feels like it's screaming to me / Well, nobody told me I'd get tired of myself / When it all looks like Heaven, but it feels like hell"

THIS is where i am getting the strongest caramel parallel (ha). this is explicitly about chasing this golden promise of fame and love, only to catch it and realise it's burning you. the vocals here are melodic but to me it almost sounds quietly angry as well, like vessel can't openly scream 'nobody warned me', so he sings it instead ("too blessed to be caught ungrateful"). and he's angry because all he wanted to do was make music and share it with people, but Sleep Token isn't just a band anymore, it's also this huge collective of fans that it's built, and when something like that spirals out of control, you can't easily get it back. vessel's anger comes from the fact that he never started this wanting to write songs about how much it hurts to keep doing this. it was supposed to be an outlet and a way to make something beautiful out of pre-existing pain, but now it's come full circle and is the new cause, rather than the cure.

anyway. those are my damocles thoughts somewhat articulated but i may come back to them. i need a whole new post just talking about that drum mix fr

[homestuckreplay]

Cursed By Zazzerpan To Take Webcomics Too Seriously

(page 472-483)

8/14/2009 Wheel Spin: Captchalogue Lore Verdict: Just Captchalogue, No Lore

8/15/2009 Wheel Spin: being silly :3c Verdict: Slimer Pogo Ride – Inherently Silly

The imps have STOLEN John’s clever disguise. >:( How could they do this. Aren’t their jester hats costume enough. When John says ‘they’re mucking up all my cool stuff!’ he is right and justified in being mad. What little control John ever had over his living environment has now been completely obliterated, the imps (and Rose) running rampant and using his home as their own personal playground.

Speaking of Rose, I was deeply struck by her total lack of regard for the monetary worth of a piano. Those things are expensive, and they’re not a standard thing for a house to have either! But this is not the first time Rose has thrown an expensive musical instrument around, as shown by her violin antics (p.236, 395) being more of an annoyance than a risk to a delicate possession. Knowing how rich her family is really explains why her response to destroying John’s house is a casual ‘Oops.’

We also get another moment of Rose dismissing John’s problems as not especially serious on p.478, when John says he was ‘hoping to avoid nanna and her spooky ghost cookies’ and Rose says ‘that does sound dumb.’ I know that Rose is speaking from her personal experience, but from an external reader’s perspective, if I am going to take it seriously that Rose’s mom might be an alcoholic and that Dave’s brother might be psychologically tormenting him with puppet tricks, then I am also going to take it seriously that John could have genuine trauma surrounding food. If he’s been forced to eat beyond his limits or eat food he doesn’t like all his life, that could definitely lead to a negative relationship with food, even if John’s dad and nanna are baking for him as an act of care.

EB: i'm not sure what came over me there, i was acting really crazy for some reason. EB: but my head feels like it's clearing up, i think i'm alright now.

This is the line that’s had me scratching my head and clenching my fists all of yesterday and today. I’m truly not sure what the intended tone is – if this is meant to be a joke, or a leading question about how exactly the control panels and possible time loops work, or a setup for a possible future where John does something really bad while being mind controlled by the Vagabond, or just a way for the author to justify any potential future out of character moments. I think I am biased towards reading this story in a serious and realistic way, and I think there’s lots of other valid ways it can be read, but from my personal reading this is existential horror, and more affirmations of John’s complete lack of free will and – importantly – his steadily growing awareness of this. I think a big part of his character progression so far is going from the vague and uncertain ‘something feels missing from your life’ to slowly being able to put words to his problems.

We actually learn a fair bit more about the rules, game logic and progression of Sburb in these pages, which I’m planning to lay out in its own post in the next few days. In contrast, we get no new information about the captchalogue and strife systems – it really feels like John’s passed that level now, and is able to do these things in the background without it interrupting the narrative. The same thing will probably happen with the imps after he’s got a few more kills.

I can’t figure out how to score points in the game on p.476 where we do sick pogo ride tricks as an imp (my high score is 551?) but I love it narratively. In the game we are definitely controlling the imp directly – there’s no indication that John or Rose have any hand in the imp’s antics - but in the text below, John is still addressed as the second-person ‘you’ and the line focuses on John’s own history with the ride. I like the suggestion that the imp is doing the same dangerous stunts that John once did, and the idea that there’s some parallels between John and the imp – both low level entities who are fundamentally at the mercy of the greater forces of Sburb, both clowns wearing disguises through circumstance instead of choice.

Anyway I am politely requesting that John check out the punch designix for real now.

[delilaahh9]

Pages Turning

September 20th, 2021

2:39 am

Annabelle would rather do anything then be on bed rest, sure she has wasted so many days by just laying in bed but those were illness or pure laziness, when she had the choice to, now she is actively forced. Jack was able to drive her home before practice where he explained the whole situation to his parents since she was still… drugged up from surgery.

Ellen had told her to take a nap to which Anna declined and kept “crunching” herself out of her room, to the point where Jim shut her door at 7pm after dinner and said he’d put a piece of tape at the bottom of her door so if she opened it then the tape would rip off and he would know.

Now she sits up against her headboard with her notebook and guitar in hand.

Her feelings had been getting the best of her, seeing a picture from a party last night and slightly in the background was mark smiling at a girl who had her arm looped through his. Which sent the brunette down a rabbit hole of song writing about her feelings.

“she.. wears your number..” she smiles and writes the lyric down.

She began to hum a melody when her door was lightly pushed open. “Luke no” she scolds when her brother enters the room.

“What?” He asks.

“Dad taped my door I’m gonna get in shit” she whispers.

“um.. there was no tape on your door” he says back with eye brows drawn in, then opens up the door to show her. “Dammit” she groans and sits back.

“Whatcha singing?” He asks while laying down next to her.

“new music�� the brunette mumbles and closes her book only for him to take it and flip it to the first page titled “bad ones” and began to read, While she set her guitar to the side.

“Holy shit Annie, who is this about?” He asks and flips to the next song called “rubberband”

“um, those two are about max” she says quietly and embarrassed she writing about a relationship from 3 years ago.

“I always knew he was a dick.. like I always knew” he emphasizes but keeps looking through the book.

“I know Luke, you mention every-” she noticed he was stopped at the one she was just working on so she snatched it away and hid it under her back.

“woah woah woah what was that” he asked.

“Nothing for your eyes” she mumbles and picks up her phone which she hasn’t been on since earlier yesterday when she chucked it on the pavement. Leaving a crack across the bottom.

“woah” she mutters seeing 15 messages from her friends and 10 alone from mark.

Care 🐻

Hey babes!

I heard what happened

I’m gonna drop off some soup my momma made tomorrow Morning.

Thank you carigan 💗

Abigail

Dukers told me what happened.

If you need anything let me know! :(

Of course, thank you 💗

Zo Zo🌷

Talked to e today :(

How’s my girl feeling?

I’m alright

Doc said no dancing till fall :(

Oh my god?!

mhm but it gives me more time to write

Write a song about me before your famous!

I won’t be famous.. but I’ll think about it 😉 

“Wake me if you need anything, okay?” Luke says as he stands up. “night”

“Goodnight Luke” she says back and begins to dial marks phone number.

“Anna, are you okay?” He says when he answers after one ring.

“Yes mark, I’m alright, a little sore but I’ll be.. ok” she sighs, it won’t be okay. She can’t do one of the two things that makes her happy in this world.

“I know you’re not alright, which is why I’m coming over- not now- but tomorrow afternoon. So you aren’t home alone”

“Don’t you have a game to play tomorrow night- actually I have a game to go to.”

“He will be okay if you miss it Ann, and it’s just a practice which is from 8-10 so I’ll get to you about 11“

“Thank you-” she cuts herself off with a loud yawn. “But I think I gotta go to bed”

“You do, goodnight princess”

“Night mark”

It took her a second, but then she realized what he had called her.

*Princess*

[jadeandquartzes]

🍓 🕯️ 🥤 🍄 ❄️ 🦴 🪲 (i may have gone a little overboard also my b if there are repeats!)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

answered this a little bit here! (crown of candy in 2020 + network shows making Big Mistakes in the late 2010s. lmao)

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

answered this here a bit too! (7 to 8. I really enjoy it.)

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

OKAY we're gonna talk about the amazing @sharkodactyl for a minute here. she writes some of THE tastiest fics I have ever read. like, that is the way to describe them in my head because I read them and wish to Physically Consume The Words. yknow? absolutely phenomenal characterizations and body horror and utterly inspired au choices and the descriptions are always SO delicious and marrow-deep literally all of her fics are KILLER. candy-coated darling holds the title for one of my favorite pieces of writing anywhere, on or off the internet. it's so downright eerie and captivating and this gloriously specific flavor of saccharine (pun fully intended) horror that has impacted my writing going forward and opened my eyes to the delights of unreality in fic!! and no grave can hold your body down is SUCH a fucking phenomenal knockout look at the kipperlilly and lucy dynamic that i am FOREVER rotating in my head at unfathomable speeds. i read this for the first time and put my head down on the table and went "fuck!!" in delight and agony. it's a cycle it's a loop!! just try again and it'll totally go different this time :)))) there is no tragedy inherent in this story :)))

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

HUH. gonna give myself some variation in fandoms here, and say that I am a firm believer that ms. emily kaldwin and ms. alexi mayhem had a variety of increasingly homoerotic sparring matches over the years about which emily lived in blissful unselfawareness and alexi suffered every goddamn day.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

HMM. See, normally all my dream themes and plots for fics are things I just have in the works in the future, because yknow! If I can dream it, I can do it! That said: starbreaker grad school dark academia is one of those fics, and I WILL get to it someday. dark!orym au is another, because I have VERY SPECIFIC TAKES on how it would go down. and a third one is time loop fic series for the bg3 companions, bc i have Thoughts.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

answered a bit here, but I'll add onto this that musical theatre (Les Mis, Falsettos, Great Comet, SO many more) and audio dramas (Wolf 359! Penumbra Podcast!) all live rent free in my mind and frequently make their way into my works. I love varied formats! 

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

okay so I am giving myself a temporary exemption from this based solely on the fact that I woke up #ill (it'll be fine, I'm just unhappy about it lol) BUT. i will update this space with the aforerequested 50 words when I am in fact Less ill. mark my words.

[foggyfanfic]

The House is in Danger

Chapter Preview: For a second, Alma was really tempted to just say “I fucked up, give me a vision”, but as fun as it had been to shock and confuse her family in the last cycle, she now needed to focus on getting answers.

Or read on AO3

8. Loop 15

Alma found herself suddenly ten years younger, staring down at a Luisa that had not yet hit her first growth spurt. She was holding a piano over her head without a single sign of strain and looking up at Alma with expectant, inquisitive eyes.

“Ah, er, put it over there, please,” Alma said, gesturing at a relatively out of the way corner. She had no idea where she’d had Luisa put the piano the first time through, it wasn’t exactly the first thing that came to mind when she thought about Mirabel's fifth birthday.

“Yes Abuela,” Luisa said, calmly strolling away. Alma had forgotten how cute it was seeing tiny little Luisa carry things twice or even three times her size like they were nothing. Maybe when this cycle had fallen apart Alma would spend the next one with Luisa, the day after she had gotten her gift. But she shook the thought off before focusing on the things that made her happy ripped Casita to shreds.

She turned away from the busy courtyard and instead went straight for the stairs. She had to field a few questions on her way to Bruno’s room, but eventually she pushed through the door and into his lobby.

It had been more than ten years since she had been here. She sort of wished she could say it looked so much homier than it did after Bruno disappeared, but it didn’t. His room had started to look dusty and deserted long before he disappeared. Alma slowly walked through the lobby, then ducked her head under her black shawl as she passed under the sand curtain.

She paused on the landing on the other side, taking in the canyon with all its stairs. Too many stairs. Her knees may have been ten years younger, but they weren't that young.

“Bruno? Mijo?” Alma called out, “Please tell me you’re not up in that cave.”

She waited a couple minutes, then Bruno appeared from under the landing she stood on, ducking out of the hidden cave under his too many stairs then looking up at her with surprised eyes. How long had it been since she sought him out in his room?

“Uh, sí Má?”

For a second, Alma was really tempted to just say “I fucked up, give me a vision”, but as fun as it had been to shock and confuse her family in the last cycle, she now needed to focus on getting answers.

“Today is not going to go well, I have it on good authority that time feels… weird to you right now?”

He looked even more surprised, “How did you know?”

“It’s my doing. Mine and the miracle,” she walked down the stairs to the sandy canyon basin, “Mirabel will not be receiving a gift today, I don’t know why, but I do know that I have handled the whole thing rather poorly. So poorly, in fact, that I begged the candle to give me another chance to fix it all. The candle obliged and now I am stuck reliving my own past until I find a way to fix the mess I made without killing Casita in the process.”

Bruno, predictably, did not have an immediate answer to that explanation. He stared at her owlishly as she reached him and casually picked a tuft of rat hair off his shirt.

“Oh, right, every time I fix my mistakes Casita collapses, I would like your help figuring out why so I can end this cycle once and for all.”

“…ah,” he said, blinked a few times, then said, “uh so d-do you want me to have a vision or something?”

If one of her children had told her what she just told Bruno, she would have asked for proof. But her children and grandchildren all grew up with magic, with a living house and perfectly coordinated musical numbers. What had once seemed impossible to her was now her family's every day. So of course Bruno only needed a few seconds to accept it.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s tiring, but I would ask that you have two,” she said, “I want to see the vision you had… would have had, if this day went on unchanged. I have seen the final tablet, and I have seen it come to pass, but I have not seen what you saw.”

“You… want to be with me when I do the vision?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve done that, hasn’t it? Stayed with you while you had a vision,” she realized out loud, she use to stay with him for each and every vision, after all, they could be so overwhelming for him.

“It uh it has,” he said, nodding minutely, then, “years.”

“Hm, well, this time I would like to stay with you.”

“What was the other vision?” he asked.

“I suppose I just want to see if there is a way to fix things without losing Casita,” she said, shaking her head a little.

He gulped, but nodded, then opened the sand curtain for her so she could follow him into his secret cave. At the back of the cave a large green tent glowed from within, he led her through it, not pausing near long enough for her to take in the cozy little room she hadn’t seen in years. Bruno’s visions sometimes manifested as nightmares, so when he was a child she had spent many a night sleeping in this tent with him. A wave of nostalgia and longing hit her, but too soon, he was moving aside a bit of cloth wall designed to act as a hidden door of sorts. Behind it was a tunnel, sloping slightly upward. Bruno paused to grab and light a lantern next to the tunnel’s entrance, then began leading the way up the gentle slope.

They didn’t talk at first.

Eventually, Bruno asked, “Are you sure Mirabel isn’t getting a gift?”

“I have lived through the next ten years, if she got a gift it has remained very subtle.”

“The next ten years,” he said it faintly, voice filled with mild wonder, “huh. What’s her room going to be like? If she doesn’t get a gift? Just... a normal bedroom?”

“She won’t have one, unfortunately she’ll have to stay in the nursery,” Alma said, thinking for the first time in years about how unfair that was.

“She won’t have a room?” Bruno repeated, startled, “B-but what about when Dolores and her sister start having kids?! What about when she starts having kids?!”

“You know something, I asked Casita the same exact questions,” Alma said, feeling a little vindicated, “it’s just not practical. Her staying there long term, we haven’t been able to have guests stay over for the last decade because where do we put them? Can’t use the nursery as a guest room, it’s already unfair enough that Mirabel is the only kid without her own room, now I’m supposed to supplant her because the Ramirez boy drank a little too much yet again? Oh, and when Antonio’s born!”

“Who’s Antonio?”

“Oh. Pepa and Félix’s youngest, you are going to love him,” Alma said, keeping the “when you come out of the walls and rejoin the family” unsaid.

“They’re going to have another? At our age?”

Alma rolled her eyes with a wry fondness, “Well, let’s just say your sister’s marriage will be staying as affectionate as ever.”

Bruno made a quiet noise that either meant disgust or just general displeasure, then said, “What are we going to do when Antonio is born?”

“Well, the bright side, I suppose, is it will turn out to be a non-issue,” Alma sighed, “Mirabel absolutely adores her cousin. I think she’s happier sharing the room with him than she was having it to herself. But in the lead up to that discovery, we spent many a night trying to figure out what we should do.”

On reflection, Mirabel’s love for her cousin was sort of a double edged sword. On the one hand it meant Mirabel was perfectly happy to share the nursery with Antonio and the family avoided having to come up with a different solution. On the other, Alma had stopped thinking about how unfair it was that Mirabel didn’t have her own room because Mirabel was so fine with sharing. It was just one more way Alma was able to bury all consideration of Mirabel and her missing gift.

“You said you asked Casita about it? What was the answer?” Bruno interrupted her thoughts, and looked at her with open curiosity.

Alma sighed, shaking her head then shrugging, “Casita just said she’ll get a room when I’m ready. And trust me, I told Casita I was ready plenty of times, nothing I said… I don’t know what…”

“Is it uh is it because you’re not ready for Mirabel to grow up?” Bruno asked, “I-I mean, youngest grandkid… most helpful… a-and I didn’t say this but uh, she is sort of the most adorable one.”

“She really is,” Alma couldn’t help but chuckle fondly, “oh, those little glasses!”

“And those tiny hands,” Bruno said, holding his own hand up as if he was gently cupping the tiny hands in question.

“Antonio is going to be just as adorable, if you can believe it.”

“I can not, actually.”

“No, mijo, trust me. He’s like a tiny Félix, so sweet and such a little gentleman but so shy.”

“Shy?” Bruno asked, putting his free hand to his heart, “well in that case I might believe it. Maybe.”

“Unfortunately not wanting Mirabel to grow up was the first thing I thought of, but no,” Alma got them back on topic, “and then I tried coming up with things that are only tangentially related to her, such as being ready for Isabela and Dolores to become teenagers, or being ready for…”

Bruno waited for her to finish her sentence, then when she didn’t, he prompted, “For what?”

“I thought, maybe, the miracle had just run out of magic to spare,” Alma admitted, “so I tried being ready for Camilo to be the last Madrigal to get a gift, b-but Casita said…”

“What?”

“Casita said that wasn’t guaranteed, and Antonio got a gift so-,” she spoke quietly, then shook her head, “you know how it is, talking to Casita, you feel what Casita is saying more than hear it. Usually I can fill in the words myself, but this time… I don’t know. I don’t know what Casita was trying to tell me, not the specifics, just that I needed to be ready for… something.”

Bruno didn’t respond, but when she looked at him, she could see he was troubled. Of her children, of her entire family, Bruno was the one who understood the need for the Encanto the best. He had seen what was out there, all the dangers the mountains were shielding them from. He didn’t want his nieces and nephew exposed to all that anymore than she did. So having some mysterious problem befall their miracle was enough to wrinkle his brow.

“This is the first time I’ve really talked about all this,” Alma admitted, then frowning, she asked him, “I do rely on you quite a bit more than your sisters, don’t I?”

“D-do you?”

“I… sí, I do. I feel, while perhaps not as close to you as we once were, after what happened when you were nine… I guess it became all too easy to speak to you with a candidness I don’t have with your sisters, especially as you've grown. I... am suddenly realizing, I don't think there's anyone in the Encanto I am as honest with as I am with you mijo, not even...”

“Oh,” he said when she trailed off, then walked with her in silence for a while.

Alma eventually sighed, “I should have been this open with your sisters as well, they're adults too. Now that I am hearing it out loud for the first time, I suspect that whatever it is I need to be ready for is at the heart of all this.”

Bruno nodded, slowly, he continued to not speak, but he had a thoughtful expression on his face.

She let her own thoughts keep her occupied for the rest of the walk up to his vision cave.

They came out of the tunnel by moving aside one of the gruesome looking reliefs carved into the walls of the hall approaching the cave. Bruno collected his herbs and incense, then held the door to his vision cave open for her. It was bigger than it had been the last time she was there, and the little cushions she had gifted him for him to sit on when he had his visions were gone. When she asked about it he grimaced and told her the sand ate them.

“Probably down there somewhere,” he muttered, kicking at the sand a little, then he moved on to setting up his herbs.

His ritual had gotten more elaborate than the last time she’d seen it. Alma didn’t comment on it, she just waited. Whatever Bruno had to do to feel comfortable.

“Let’s do the vision about Mirabel first,” he said, when he was done with his ritual, he held his hands out to her and quietly murmured, “hang on.”

She put her hands in his. The vision started, and sadly it proceeded exactly as she expected. She had been hoping there might be new information to be found in the original vision, but there was nothing she hadn’t already witnessed firsthand. When the vision ended she just sighed.

On the other hand, Bruno’s hands shook as he held the vision in front of his horrified face.

“In the-. You will go into hiding to keep people from seeing that,” Alma said, “I have-. You asked me not to change anything you… I promised I wouldn’t change any of your choices but-.”

“No. No, I… don’t try to talk me out of it,” Bruno said, voice rough, “if this gets out-. If the villagers see this-. It would ruin Mirabel’s life!”

“Bruno, mijo, I know, I know. But please, just… I won’t force you to do anything but just think about this,” she all but begged him, “you were living in the walls mijo. All alone. I saw what it did to you. There has to be another way, a better way, to protect Mirabel.”

He laughed a dry little laugh, eyes distant and his mouth a bitter twist, then to her great relief Bruno nodded and said, “There might be. I-I mean if you’re going through this whole uh what? Time loop situation? Then things uh probably didn’t work out that well for Mirabel in uh, the first place.”

“They didn’t,” Alma agreed, feeling relief flood her, “I… she was going for the candle while Casita was collapsing all around her. All I-, all I could do was pray for the chance to-, for this! I don’t know if she would have survived if I hadn’t prayed to the candle for this chance to fix things.”

Bruno gulped, then set the vision aside, even though his eyes lingered on it, as if pulled by gravity to Mirabel's face. He re-lit some herbs that were burning low, took a few deep breaths, and pulled the future back into the sands.

This vision didn’t really go anywhere. It started where Mirabel's left off, with Mirabel standing in front of Casita as it cracked apart behind her, then a butterfly flew past, briefly landing on a blade of grass before circling around Mirabel and Alma as they held each other close. Then the vision ended with Alma surrounded by most of her family, and the rubble of her dearest friend. When the sand coalesced into an emerald tablet, this one didn’t shift or change as she moved it like Mirabel’s did. She helped Bruno back down to his bed and sat with him in the dark, shifting Mirabel’s vision back and forth while the vision of Casita in pieces sat before her.

When Bruno was rested and recovered, he muttered, “There wasn’t a hint of uncertainty. Th-that will happen. Casita will fall.”

“No,” Alma whispered, “no! After everything Casita has done for us, for me! It’s not-. Casita doesn’t deserve-. Why? Why?!”

“I don’t know,” Bruno sighed, staring blankly up at the roof of his tent, "the only good news I have is th-that Mirabel is meant to survive whatever's happening."

It was good news, and she quietly thanked him for it, but she had seen the house fall on Mirabel a few too many times for her to take it as gospel. Mirabel being meant to survive something wasn't the same thing as her being guaranteed to survive. Bruno must have been thinking something similar because he sighed again.

She sighed as well. A glance at Bruno’s clock told her she needed to go get ready for the party. She thought about not going, but if she changed anything she would just be killing Casita that much sooner. She kissed Bruno’s forehead, telling him that he had been at the party originally, that he had helped comfort Mirabel until Alma had dragged him away to have the vision that sent him into the walls. She promised not to do that this time.

He nodded and in return, promised he would be there.

And he was.

Then in the morning he had disappeared.

She held on for a week. Alma tried to live her life as she had the first time around, the only change she made was leaving food and his preferred soaps out for Bruno. She couldn’t help but be a little gentler with Mirabel, a little more patient with Pepa, a little more lenient with Isabela, but otherwise she did everything exactly the same as she remembered.

But it wasn’t good enough.

Casita collapsed and fog rushed in. Alma was left in that empty gray limbo, alone.

[carsonian]

10 Questions for Writers or thereabouts

Thank you to @sunnysideprincess and @moon-language-0 for tagging me. WHAT the hell is up with you two crafty fuckers, jesus Christ leave some a that for the rest of us. Anyway and whatever, lezz get into it

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

54, excluding graphic design pieces and videos.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

469,159. Someone write the 69 joke I'm not fucked. Hang on! That may just be the 69 joke. Also when I get to 500k there will be nothing more to be wroten (real word). All will be wrote

3! What fandoms do you write for?

SteveTony, stony, superhusbands whatchamacallit.

4! Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah, I do! Gave me cookie got you cookie type infinity loop.

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dunno I don't be looking around enough... I've probably stolen my own fic.

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but there are times when I just don't know the bitch who wrote yesterday's chapter or that One Fic or it feels like I'm trying to write in another girl's shoes, ones I coulda sworn fit me the day before but are now tight as hell. I am like 98% sure this is just a normal life thing though. Many such cases

7. What's your all-time favourite ship?

SteveTony as far as I know

8. What are your writing strengths?

I think I get away with a lot more crack than you'd think a romcom tag would warrant.

9. What are your writing weaknesses?

My biggest enemy is time forever and always xoxo

10. First fandom you wrote for

Shut the front door. I know this question's about my first fandom but I just realised I've been wearing my earphones the wrong way for the past hour and a half (right in left and vice versa). what the fuck no wonder the music was not bussing the house down.

11. I wanted to do a bonus question so here is a bonus question for me and the people I tag to do this:-- is there a fic writer you find yourself returning to as a golden standard?

For me it's Captain_Panda.

AND I tag @soliloquent-stark and @cowboyhorsegirl <3

[rthwrms]

july 1st, 2024

12:23am — Its very ironic that the song currently haunting my top spot in my spotify “on repeat” playlist is a song about hiding from the sun. I just thought that was worth mentioning.

12:29am — once again i am captivated by what i could do with myself. I can’t film at the moment, so I will write instead. Possibilities are endless, and distracting, aren’t they? i feel dazzled, a deer in headlights, even. The music flows down and through me like a wave crashing at my feet. And yet, i don’t want to say fickle, but like the tide my mood changes on a dime, hm? Something like that instead. I don’t quite understand why my stitches keep not matching up on a two pattern repeat, so that it keeps ending on the first of the two stitches instead of on the second. I believe i frogged several rows only to repeat them just now. Still, this project is worth slaving for. my plan is to crochet my grandmother a sweater and it’s going well so far, except for the last named example, which is frustrating me to no end.

12:51am — I don’t want to sell you a product. I just want to tell you how i feel. Can’t that be enough? I’ve been thinking a lot about what i want for myself and my art lately, and i’m still not sure. Aborted half-formed ideas pour out of me at this hour, and it seems no good for anyone, frankly. So i think i will shower, and I think i will try to lay in bed quietly, and i think i will try to come back here in the morning, if you’ll have me.

8:50am — everything good i do for myself only seems to grow teeth to come back and bite me with. not to necessarily start the day like this, but it just seems pertinent. i had a real breakfast, and it only served to give me chills and a terrible stomachache.

2:37pm — the day aches on as usual, creaking and terribly slow. I went downstairs for a bit and managed nothing, which is well and fine. Now i am back upstairs and still managing nothing, which is a little less than well and fine for now i am on my own. We’ll manage. I don’t understand why i’m exhausted. I’ve been trying to sleep. I haven’t. But i’ve been trying in the meantime, I mean — it’s not like i have anything else i can do right now. Yesterday and the day before were terrible, simply awful days of dysregulation and pain. I think i had a total of five or more meltdowns in that time. I’m just so bored and understimulated. Nothing is interesting but I want to do Something but I can’t think of Anything so I do Nothing isntead. Classic scenario. The loop is closed. How do we open it? by being curious. What can I be curious about? Well, whats the first question you can think of ? Why do I feel this way? Okay lets start there. Cause i’m off ritalin, that doesn’t really help. Is there an alternate path here? Nice dichotomy, idiot. What lies outside it?

4:31pm — Well, I did manage to do something after all, but its like pulling teeth. Between a rock and a hard place, they say. ha ha. i just have to remind myself that this is part of the plot too.

[vossprime]

The OC 8 Track Prompt Mix

tagged by @tumbgert

You have a single cassette tape, it will only hold eight songs and play them in the exact order in which they're added to the tape. If you made such a mix tape for your original character, which songs would you choose and in what order?

Feel free to explain why you chose the songs and order that you did or just let the music speak for itself.

I did Zlatko's here!

For my Warhammer OC Mayrie:

1. The Last Shadow Puppets - Calm Like You "And if he was calm like you / Locked up inside of your loops / Then he'd know full well / That all he had to say was / All he had to say was goodbye"

2. Florence + The Machine - King "I need my golden crown of sorrow / My bloody sword to swing / I need my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology / 'Cause I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king"

3. Frank Sinatra - The World We Knew (Over And Over) "Now over and over, I keep going over the world we knew / Days when you used to love me"

4. Florence + The Machine - No Light, No Light "No light, no light in your bright blue eyes / I never knew daylight could be so violent / A revelation in the light of day / You can't choose what stays and what fades away"

5. Mike Oldfield - Nuclear "Whispers in the air tell the tale / Of a life that's gone / Desolation, devastation / What a mess we made, when it all went wrong"

6. Phoebe Bridgers - Nothing Else Matters "Life is ours, we live it our way"

7. Motörhead - God Was Never On Your Side "Why is He silent, is He blind? / Are we abandoned in the end?"

8. Alter Bridge - Blackbird "Let the wind carry you home / Blackbird, fly away / May you never be broken again"

I tag @revivisection , @pycnolite and @gingerfan24 , provided you haven't been tagged already (or would like to do it again, like I did) !

[3ris-d1st0rtionnn]

StoLE tHiS fILe FroM THe aRcHivES… dON’t TeLL @speyeralling-down-thy-majesty , bUt i JuST WantEd a LittLE MemENtO oF ThEsE EvENtS… eVEn ThouGh tHeY’Re StiLL iN My HaLLwaYs SomeWhErE :)

Statement of Jade Connor, regarding a strange theme park attraction. Recorded by [REDACTED], head Archivist of the Magnus Institute.

I don’t even know why I decided to send this your way. I know you won’t believe me, nobody does, I just… I need to feel sane for once after last week.

It was last Saturday, if I’m remembering right. I had taken my friend Emma out for a day at this small theme park at the edge of town. Emma Davis… That was her full name. I have to keep reminding myself.

The park was really nothing special, just a small place with a few standard carnival rides and food stands. In all honesty, we were just coming up on finals at university and needed to relieve the pressure with some mindless entertainment, but I had a sort of nostalgia for that park. I had been going there since I was around 8 years old, so I know the place like the back of my hand… It’s no wonder that I picked the new building out so easily.

It looked a bit like one of those old “ghost train” rides, but none of it was visible from the outside. The building was just a small, weathered black box with faded murals painted on the front that I couldn’t make out at all; if I looked closely, I could have sworn I saw the remnants of painted faces, but the paint had streaked and bled too badly to see any details. The only legible text was the word “FUN” in pink and green block letters above the singular entrance door. No information, no name, just “fun.” That should have been my cue to stay away, paired with the sense of paranoia I felt just seeing that damn building, but Emma was already heading in by the time I noticed, shouting her usual lighthearted mockery of me being “too scared.”

I can’t explain how, but I knew I couldn’t let her go in there alone.

The interior of the building was… strange. It definitely wasn’t a dark ride like I expected, more like some kind of funhouse. The entrance led us into a dimly-lit hallway; the walls, ceiling, and floor were all painted black, but it looked… unnaturally dark, as if we were standing in an endless void. A series of doors were painted on the walls, each one skewed oddly in perspective and painted in neon colors so bright, they hurt my eyes to look at too long. I could have sworn there were ultraviolet bulbs set up somewhere, but I couldn’t see any visible light fixtures… or anything, for that matter. No fire sprinklers, no exit signs, no electrical panels… Nothing.

I don’t know how long I was lost in my thoughts. My mind was screaming at me to turn around and leave, that something just wasn’t right here, but I was forced back to my senses by a low creaking sound. One of those doors, the ones that couldn’t possibly be real… somehow opened. It had been replaced by an opening in the wall that looked like it had always been there, with no trace of the door itself to be seen. I could hear Emma’s voice laughing in the distance, calling for me to “find her” and “catch up” before blending in with a cacophony of indistinct background music.

All I could do was run after her.

The hallway opened up into… I can’t even say if it was a room, a hall, or something completely different. It looked like the interior of a dark ride with no track, just a winding path surrounded by these strange props and cutouts, each one painted in those same, blinding neon shades. None of them looked like they were supposed to be animated, but I could have sworn I saw them moving from my peripheral vision. Everything around me was just… constantly shifting and changing, even the path itself was winding off into oblivion. And the music… That damn music. It sounded like 5 tracks of frantic cartoon music looping over each other. I couldn’t make out any words, any instruments, whether there were actual voices or if it was all an instrumental, but I felt like there was something in there, like a message I was supposed to understand. Did I hear Emma’s voice up ahead, or was it part of the audio? There was no way I could tell, but I could have sworn I heard her laughing.

I had to have been walking for hours, maybe even days. My ears were ringing, panic building up in my chest as I broke into a run, screaming out Emma’s name, struggling to navigate this deteriorating maze of lights and colors. The walls had faces. The props were pointing at me and laughing. The path was narrowing, trailing off into oblivion and herding me in one direction until… Until I reached the room. Until I saw it.

It was a small room, completely filled with doors. They were all stacked on top of each other, defying logic and space, the walls extending upward infinitely like some twisted rabbit hole I was at the bottom of. I somehow knew not to touch them, that they wouldn’t let me leave yet. And in the center of it all… God, I can’t describe the thing.

It was twice my height, this… complete mockery of a person. Its arms were far too long, allowing its clawed, twisted hands to scrape the floor as if they’d been dislocated from their sockets. The thing smiled, the corners of its mouth extending past its face, exposing what had to be around 7 rows of teeth. Its eyes constantly shifted in color, spiraling voids that pierced right through me. It said nothing at first, but I could hear the audible snap of its neck as it tilted at a painful angle, motioning toward one of the doors nearby.

Just past that door, I could hear Emma’s voice. I couldn’t tell if she was laughing hysterically or screaming, but the sound was… completely unnatural, a noise that came from the very depths of insanity.

“Don’t worry, she’s having fun.”

The thing’s voice felt like broken glass scraping my brain, like a voicebox that was nearly out of battery. My head pulsed with pain, a primal instinct of panic overwhelming my body.

The next thing I knew, I was sprinting down another hallway. My vision was fading in and out, the ear-bleeding soundtrack returning to laugh at me as that figure blinked in and out of my peripheral vision, always behind me as if it knew I wouldn’t get anywhere. The last thing I remember was dropping to my knees, my nails sinking into my arms as I screamed, and…

..and then I was back outside. The second my eyes snapped open, I was lying on the pavement, surrounded by concerned onlookers and emergency personnel. I can barely remember what they claimed had happened, something about a “spontaneous breakdown” leading to me collapsing.

It had only been two minutes since I apparently “broke down.” The building was nowhere to be seen.

Asking about Emma led to the same response of concern… There were no records of her ever entering the park. There were no records of her anywhere; trust me, I checked. Not in the contacts on my phone, not online, nowhere. It’s like she was just… erased as soon as that thing took her.

I haven’t left my home since then. I can still hear that damn music looping in my ears, I can see that thing in the corner of my eye… It’s only a matter of time before it comes for me next, and I know it won’t let me go this time.

Statement ends. A follow-up has been requested, but we can find no records of a “Jade Connor” or their contact information in our databases, except for this transcript.

[fallofcyber]

Eighth Doctor Reviews: The Eighth Doctor Adventures; Series One

In honor of me re-listening to the first series of the 8DAs and it being rereleased as a box set I'm going to be giving a little review.

I mostly listen to this at work, and jot down notes and the like pretty quickly.

Also if you are interested in this series it is one of the few that is free on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/704B1LamEbU2wNPDmfwLQ8

Doctor: The Eighth Doctor

Companion: Lucie Miller

#1&2: Blood of the Daleks

Blood of the Daleks is an absolutely amazing start to this range. Quickly introducing a new companion, showing the state that 8 is in and giving us one of the best Dalek stories that Big Finish have ever done.

Lets talk about Lucie Miller, I absolutely love Lucie Miller. She instantly endears herself to the listener, and her 'antagonistic' relationship with 8 is, "Chef's Kiss". She has that Rose Tyler energy but without the melodrama of season 2. In short Lucie kicks ass.

This is a great jumping on point for anyone at all interested in the 8th doctor and has seen the new series. This was made for people who were watching Doctor Who in the RTD era.

This story has that super interesting contrast between two factions of Daleks that I loved in Remembrance of the Daleks. Also Hayley Atwell (Yes Agent Carter) plays the villain in this and is just killing it.

I really recommend this story, It's free and just one of the most amazing places to start.

fun quotes:

"More Beans please" - The Eighth Doctor

"FISH AND CHIPS FOR ALL!" - The Eighth Doctor

Rating 9/10

#3: The Horror of Glam Rock

A just fine adventure set in the 70s. The name is a cool play off the Horror of Fang Rock. I love the Glam Rock/Bowie vibes of the music. Bernard Cribbins plays an asshole music agent, and it is super weird to hear Wilf shit talk people. We get to meet Lucie's aunt Pat who seems super cool. I love that even though we can't meet Lucie's family in the modern day we get to understand her more through her connections.

The monster in this one is kind of lame, and the constant whining of Tommy Tomorrow is exhausting

Rating 7.5/10

#4: Immortal Beloved

Now this one is super interesting, an extremely Shakespearian story. It's very obviously taking a lot from Romeo and Juliet. I'm not sure why but this one really spoke to me, I love the fusion of Greek mythology and future technology. The whole twist of the piece is also super engaging from a moral standpoint. Also the guy who played Winston Churchill in NewWho plays the antagonist Zeus and is delightfully evil, like really despicable.

Rating 8.5/10

#5: Phobos

This listen through is actually my first time listening to Phobos, I skipped it on my first listen through of the 8DAs season one. I just hate this story and it's the only one I might actually call bad. It's the least fun kind of goofy and follows a far too Scooby Doo type plot for Doctor Who. I do like the idea of this world being a travel destination for thrill seekers to visit, that was a cool bit of world building.

Rating 6/10

#6: No More Lies

When I first listened to this one I thought I had skipped something because of the fact that it starts en media res, but it really works in this story. Zimmerman is a really interesting character. I'm always happy to see a time loop when they pop up. The vortisaurs from Storm Warning reappear and are always a lovely bit of world building for 8. Also the song sung in Hungarian is just wonderfully haunting,

Rating 8/10

#7&8 Human Resources

We finally get some resolution to the mystery of Lucie set up in Blood of the Daleks. The concept of what the company they work at is so fucking cool, like absolutely *chef's kiss*. I always love when the Doctor is thrown into a mundane situation and him roleplaying as a big shot office worker is so fun. Lucie and Karen also have a very funny dynamic. We also get the full introduction of the character of the Headhunter who has been trying to track Lucie down through the whole season. I always love when the Cybermen are handled well and this one does some great things with them. There are so many twists and turns in this one that I simply cannot spoil, but I am in love with this story. Also fuck Straxus, all my homies hate Straxus.

Rating 9/10

Overall this season struggles in some places, but for the low low price of free on Spotify I cannot recommend it enough. Lucie and 8 have an electric dynamic, and this season is tailor made to get NewWho fans into both the 8th Doctor and Big Finish in general, and the two two parters that feature the Cybermen and the Daleks present themselves as real standouts of the whole set.

[apurikottotii]

spotify wrapped ! 2024

it's been a whole year!!! i think i'm more happy with my spotify wrapped this year, since all the songs on my top listened are all very important to me (or at least, i can remember listening to them during a specific time).

okay i'm not sure how much 33,000 minutes is, but my longest day of listening was 547 minutes, which is over 9 hours. jesus christ. but june 30... that was an important day to me. i had an essay due on that day, so the night before i stayed up until 6am writing it (and reading fanfics to take a break, lol). it's really nostalgic, watching the sun rise and hearing everyone wake up.

.................... i'm a little sad that my top 3 songs are all songs i listened to in order to cope with a.... certain event. but. they are all good songs. truly.

hibana (ES COVER....): i fucking love this cover so much. i was recommended to listen to it after an es fan on tumblr said it was really good and i agree. it changed my life. i love the fast tempo, es's cv (i know i've said this before... idc she is so good), es sounds so emotional, i love the lyrics SO MUCH ("amidst a love that missed saying "no"- or something, "i don't want to harbor a love that never ends" and stuff along the lines of "do it properly", etc.)... and. the key change. absolute insanity.

help me, erin!: to be honest, i think this is my most listened to song, since i listened to it way more consistently and i've looped multiple covers (makina remix, piano cover, MUSESCORE piano cover, "sh-style", 8-bit, utau cover, MY ALARM. i'm not joking this is my alarm- or at least the instrumental version is) . awesome lyrics (i don't know why but.... these lyrics are relatable: "ahh, what will i do!? i raise my arm on high", "you are my princess, my selfish princess", etc.), fast tempo, dancy, IV-V-iii-vi progression, the way miku is tuned helps me cope with life okay... idk, it's weird to be obsessed with a touhou fansong (i don't even know touhou) but i just cope like this, okay.

kimagure mercy: what a fun and dancy song. i did transcribe this (and i'm quite proud of it). i think my favorite lyric has to be jubyphobic's english ver, "lonely girl needs a guy to hold on tight, baby". which is SO heteronormative but that's the fun of the song. this was also a major coping song lmao. i think i found all of these songs in the april-june range when i was dying. this song told me that you gotta just let it go and leave. "letting him walk? and walk upon you?" "even if i cry and beg you not to go, nothing can possibly change!" "let me hope just a little bit, dammit..."

good child and the fox spirit: yeah.... i found it because of that 0909 animatic lmao. no shame. i originally thought it was amane (before i actually watched milgram) bc i never watched the animatic. i don't have much to say about this song, but it's insanely catchy. that part that goes, "love you, i love you, i love love love love you when you're a good child" or something scratches my brain just right. can't believe kikuo doesn't have music theory knowledge. it's insane.

empurple: ARGHHHHH i found this the last week of june and it powered me to finish my essay. it really reminds me of samsa, with the rhythm and all. i love the tuning of miku (i think it's miku...). rhyming, "please forgive me and purple" and "empurple" is really amazing to me. it's so catchy.

honorable mentions: string theocracy (saved my life), butcher vanity (ashe...), mozaik role (actually saved my life. seriously i don't know where i would be without this song), yin-yang relationship (reminds me of a certain someone....), the nights (good times don't last forever), say it back (also reminds me of...)

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN??? i got into milgram during april (spring break) so i'm not surprised lol. i can't read the third one, i know the first two are es and kotoko- i'm... really surprised about kotoko? i think i listen to haruka, shidou, mahiru and amane the most? i wish they put all milgram songs under one artist though.

this is ONLY because i listened to fontaine's main and battle themes when i briefly got back into genshin during summer break. it was really fun and reminded me of good days in 2021... but i have no idea how it was that significant.

guys i hate deco27 i swear. i only have him here because he makes a lot of vocaloid songs. i usually don't like this new songs that much, but i think he still has got it sometimes. for example, i really liked aitai-lians and neverland. personally i think his milgram stuff is so much more creative. if milgram counted under his name, i would understand him being my top artist lmao.