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argaliaofficial · 7 years

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i started typing this earlier but then had to go to work so now im just gonna finish it so i get it off my chest

back when i was with my first ex, meg, we went to this private christian school i prolly made a post about this on here before but its topical right now i didnt sleep at all and im tired enough to spill my fucking guts out some more

so anyway we went to this private christian school and thats when it happened. ive honestly repressed a lot of my time there i was not doing great but what i do remember just makes me feel sick. like, meg aside, the school just sucked.

for context the way it was set up was that we had “placement tests” to see where we were in subjects like math and english, and however we did made us get placed in PACEs according to our skill level. in theory this is fine i suppose, but the thing was that there were no alternatives to the PACEs.

PACEs were part of the learning curriculum of our school which was ACE- Accelerated Christian Learning. they were basically little study pamphlets that went over instructions on how to learn certain subjects and whatnot, while also having a christian perspective on things. scripture verses were abundent in them, and they had like a continuous series of comics going in there about their character Ace Virtuson and friends.

Along with the PACEs, the classrooms were set up like an “office” of sorts with cubicles that you sat in. For me honestly that was one of the many hells because it was so cramping and clinical and I just do not learn well in that sort of environment. so you’d sit quietly for like 8 hours a day with occassional breaks with nothing but your PACE pamphlets to work on. you couldnt speak to any body, and if you needed help, there was a flag system in place where you’d put a flag up and have to sit around and wait for a teacher to come assist you, and usually their assistance only lasted briefly because theres countless OTHER students to get to, and nepotism is a thing and if they dont like you or think of you as a problem kid, you’re less likely to get the aid you need.

i was one of those problem kids.

early on, i could manage that set up when my work was easier, but when i hit “high school age” and got into more advance work i began to suffer horribly. it didnt help that at this time, i got with meg, but less about her right now and more about how this school system fucking failed me and others tbh

i do not learn by reading information. at least, i dont retain it. i need to discuss with people, with my peers and professors. i need one on one sometimes, especially with math- my biggest struggle. but how the school was set up made that sort of learning almost impossible. your peers were all at different levels, so group discussion was rare. their were attempts, but they never lasted long, and the extent of the help basically surmounted to the teachers just reading what the PACEs already said and vaguely explaining more, and that blew.

so, me, being a hands on group learner who has to talk and listen to even retain information and needs to be allowed to move around often instead of being cramped up, started to fall behind in my studies. badly. and of course, instead of the teachers trying to asses WHY it was you were falling behind, you got written up and had to have your parents sign a slip. you could get written up for a few things and these were always detentions of sorts. usually they were lunch but if you were bad enough you’d get an after school one. i accumulated these almost once a day and after a while i got tired of having my parents sign them EVERY SINGLE day and just forged their signatures. i got away with that like 75% of the time lol

like they were just for the same shit ‘oh ur kid didnt do their homework blah blah ur kids out of dress code blah blah” and so i was just “whatever” because like... nothing seemed to change i was just being perpetually punished for being unable to keep up in my studies. my parents tried to get a math tutor for me but halfway thru i think freshman year she moved and that was that

i got so fucking sick of just being behind while my other peers seemed to be moving forward that i started bullshitting my work just to get thru. ofc that didnt do anything because i wasnt learning the work, and because i lied about my answers and cheated i got punished again. and i was just like “whatever”

i cried all the time. parent teacher conferences were hell. i always cried. it felt like i couldnt convey to them why i was such a fuckup. like i wasnt making sense, or i was being overemotional. instead of trying to make changes they just talked about how i had to work harder. least i think. i’ll be honest i always just disassociated during those meetings before going into meltdown mode.

on top of that, i was in a “gay” relationship with a classmate, and lots of bad stuff happened. ive always had an overactive imagination. great for being a wannabe artist. not so great when youre already an easily manipulated undiagnosed autistic child. me, her, and my current gf actually had our own little world! thinking back on this now, for me at least it was escapism to try and just cope with how miserable i was at school

i dont know how soon in the “relationship” it was before things got sexual. my concept of time during those years at foursquare is so scattered. according to posts ive seen on dA me and her were together or at least “friends” for 2 years? so actually i think my saying “freshman year in high school” is inaccurate and things got bad the tail end of middle school and continued until i was a sophomore before switching schools.

ANYWAY, so yeah, along with all this school nonsense, i was in a gay relationship, one that was abusive in many aspects. ofc at the time i didnt know that i was being abused! i just thought yknow her forcing herself into me sexually was kinda par the course and i was already kinda a sexually curious kid growing up so like.. i was looking for that i guess? it hurting cuz she went in dry is just to be expected, yadda yadda. pretty sure i cried? and i know for a fact that i still sleep in the room where she raped me like that and its sometimes just “yea i was literally right in that spot when i was raped lol”

and she would constantly want me to touch her sexually too, and when i said “no” and pulled my hand away that she had been trying to force down her pants because i wasnt personally ready to do that she’d always complain and make me feel bad cuz i wasnt comfortable touching her. “i always get you off but you never get me off!”

and at the time i didnt just tell her to fuck off cuz i didnt know any better. i didnt know that it was ok for me to not be ready to do that. i thought i was a bad person for not being ready to pleasure my partner, even tho its not my fault if shes ok w/ pleasuring me, and im ok with being pleasured (even tho tbh it was hit or miss sometimes she just did it lol), but im not ready to touch her, i guess? and like i tried to communicate with her and im pretty sure i told her that if she didnt wanna jerk me off cuz i couldnt do it to her yet that was fine but whatever

on the fourth of july she started groping me out in public while we watched the fireworks and i remember trying to get her to stop cuz i wasnt comfy with doing this in public cuz a) this was years ago and homophobia was a lot more common especially in this boonies town and b) i dont like seeing other couples being handsy in public so i dont want to be handsy in public either

and i remember while shes groping my chest and im trying to get her to stop theres this group of older kids in front of us and they see. and they start snickering. they started snickering at the sight. and i was so mortified and wanted to die.

looking back those kids should get hit by a fucking bus for laughing at someone getting molested and being obviously uncomfortable with it but i guess its funny cuz “lesbians! haha look at that pervy lesbo touching that other lesbian!”

and thats the story of why every fourth of july i want to kill myself

things kept progressing, ofc. i remember one night, while we were camping, i finally caved and fingered her. i forced myself to think “yeah ok i can do this” and i just thought the crippling anxiety i felt was cuz i was nervous to be intimate with my girlfriend for the first time like this, but really i was probably scared she was gonna hurt me since by that point she had. she had made herself perfectly clear in her mannerisms and tone of voice that she was stronger and bigger than me and could hurt me.

and a few occasions she did. one time she started choking me so badly that i honestly thought “oh my god, shes going to kill me here at school”. i still sometimes feel her nails digging into my throat, and i dont think ive ever been as terrified in my life as i was in that moment. i dont think she would have stopped had a teacher not intervened.

there was only one time i ever hit her, and that was before school started, and i had finally lost my shit over how much she kept fucking with me. all i remember was i came to school angry at her. over what i dont remember. she was always toying with my emotions, and i think that it had built up over the time that i finally snapped walked into class before school started, walked over to where she and alyss were talking, and a slapped her across the face before i walked over to my desk

i dont think i got in trouble for that cuz no one snitched? idk i mightve, but i didnt care. i was angry at her, angry at the school, and suicidal.

i remember one time during a break i was crying. a teacher from another class came up to me and asked what was wrong. i told her i wanted to die. she just looked at me all uncomfortable. i think she mightve said something before walking off?

nothing came of that.

i was more worried that i would get in trouble for being in a gay relationship than as apposed to thinking that these teachers- people who are supposed to protect their students- would help me. i gave up on them even recognizing the signs of me being abused. i feel like they wouldnt have even taken it as seriously as we were both “girls”, and this was back before talk of how women can be abusive was more common place. abuse was still strictly seen as male on female violence. and to some people, gay violence was comedic.

eventually, one night, it all came to light. at least, that she and i were sexually involved. that week was a blur. she was taken out of school. it was brushed under the rug. everyone trying to save face i guess and keep other kids from finding out, but somehow i always felt like they knew. they knew that she was taken out of school because of me. because we were gay

i tried to move on, but my studies never got better. i just grew more jaded. i never did any work. i mouthed off to the teachers, continued getting detentions and just plainly stopped caring. no one could get me to do anything. i would play hooky.

and that was just.... my life. perpetual anger at a system that failed me spectacularly. to this day i still hate that place. i cant be there. i was groped and molested and it was treated like nothing

so yeah

thanks for listening to my ted talks

#av talks #text #THIS IS HEAVY #rape mention #abuse mention

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captain-spookycandycollecti-blog · 6 years

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I currently live in NJ. I'm planning on switching insurance companies and i would like to put it under my name. I'm currently under my dad's policy and he is the owner of the car. But, for me to get my own insurance, i need to transfer to title under my name. But, it says that you need proof of insurance before you can transfer the title. Is my dad's insurance (which is the current insurance for the car) good enough for proof?""

Can having your car insurance cancelled lower your credit score?

Cost of insurance for 1999 mustang?

im 16, did the full drivers ed course- should get me some discount. live in Connecticut prob gonna drive 5-7kmiles annually car already has 122k mi. car is black, v6 model standard. bought it for 2k$ HELP ME OUT A LITTLE, HOW MUCH WOULD MY INSURANCE COST?""

How can i get cheap insurance?

I'am going to be 17 soon and i going to buy a car so i was wondering what car should i buy or what shoul i do to get cheap insurance, because at the moment it's cost about 3.500 and that just too expensive... help please""

Insurance boyfriend and girlfriend.?

Well as topic says I need an insurance for me and gf (I don't have one yet) and I live in newyork and she lives in georgia I need some plan that can have me and her on same thing and I can pay for it. Your help is appreciated

""Hi , i had an accident and wrote my car off, i thought id cancel insurance but insurance company say ?""

that i cant because its a credit agreement , i thought that cant be right im now paying insurance for a car that i don't have , help""

Car Insurance Help!? Will my rates go up?

Today when I got outta school, I was about to drive home and i found a huge dent on the passenger side door. So it was a hit and run I guess. Nobody left any note or anything. I drove the car home and called the cops to get a police report. the cop gave me a card with her name and the case number, but she said that if i file a claim with insurance, the company will either drop me or increase my rates. I'm a 17 year old boy and i live in maryland and im insured under geico. will my rates go up? Thanks""

Is liability insurance the same as renters insurance?

Car insurance question?

if you let someone else drive your car , and they get in an accident , what happens? does their insurance still cover them? are you covered to fix your car? i have my friend (who has had his license way longer than i have , and who i feel is a better driver than me anyways) drive my car sometimes when we go out together is this a bad idea, and why?""

Car Insurance?

Is it possible for two brothers to be under the Named (or Names) Insured list on a car insurance statement or any paper relating to car insurance. Can two brothers be insured together?

How much insurance for a Mustang in Florida?

I'm 18 years old, and I want to get a Mustang and my insurance plan is going to be under my uncle's name (52 yrs old, but he has many records for crashing and tickets, his insurance for the Civic now is $800/ 6 months). If I get a brand new one using Progressive, AT LEAST how much it's gonna cost me for 6 months??""

Parents Insurance?

If I'm on my parents Insurance and I go to a doctors appt without them knowing will it show up on there insurence statement?

Health Insurance?

Can someone reccomend some good affordable health insurance policies for people who's work place does not have health insurance yet. I'm looking for something with good coverage that wont cost me an arm and a leg. Here is a list of things i want on this coverage in order of priority: 1.Mental Health Coverage (dont refer state and government run things because i fall through the cracks on their rules) 2.Dental (i love and want to keep me teeth) 3.Doctor visits (i dont go to the doc much even when i am sick)

Cost to insure 2008 Kawasaki Ninja 250R?

I'm 18 years old, female, live in Virginia... not sure what else you need to know for an insurance quote, but about how much would it cost to insure? Let me know if you need more info. By the way- I've heard many, many times this bike is great for beginners- is this true? What are your recommendations?""

Question about delaying the individual mandate portion of the Affordable Healthcare act.?

Since the Affordable Healthcare Act is based primarily on the individual mandate, if the mandate is delayed by 1 year, what happens to those who have already lost their current health ...show more""

What are insurance rates on a 1992 camaro?

i want to buy a camaro but need to know if insurance will cost too much on a 1992 convertible camaro?

Where can I find non-owners car insurance in Massachusetts?

I'm looking to purchase a non-owner's car insurance policy (I live in the Boston area). I do not own my own car, but since I'm still in college and I just moved home, I drive both my parents cars and my brother's car. A non-owners policy would cover me in whichever car I'm driving, and I'm just wondering if anyone could recommend a company in MA that offers this?""

Should I buy Home Owners Insurance or Renters Insurance?

I am buying a home on a land contract. Should I get home owners or renters? Also if I carry the insurance does the owner have to carry a policy too?

What is the cheapest car insurance for a new 20 year old driver in Michigan?

I dont have car yet but I just need some general information about how much im going to be paying a month. I also live in the suburbs and plan on getting a reliable,cheap,and off the theft radar car. Thanks!""

Anyone who knows about car Insurance please help?

Ok, long story short. I live in Canada, Ontario, the worst ******* place in the world to be when it comes to car insurance. I am classified as a high risk driver because of some petty thing I did, (got caught driving with my G1 license alone, when you need a passenger with at least 4 years experience) I want to know what my insurance would be now on a 1991 bmw e30 318is. I am 16 years old, my question is can I call a bunch of insurance companies and ask for quotes? I mean do I have to be at least 18 years of age to do this? Please inform me. I am pretty sure as long as I have my license beside me I can call insurance companies for quotes right? Also what do they ask? Just car Make, model, year, color, sedan or coupe, etc? What else? Sorry for sounding like a complete idiot, I am only 16 I do not know these things. Thank you very much""

What is the best/cheapest car insurance?

I am 19, I've had one ticket for driving too fast for conditions . I'm getting a new car this week, a 2002 4dr honda civic. How much should i expect to pay for insurance? And what is the best company to go through?""

Insurance in USA for people above 45 and below 60?

Hello, My parent just moved to USA (NY) a few months back and my father works at a grocery store. My parents do not have health insurance and I want to get them medical insurance somehow, something that is affordable since my father's job does not offer any health coverage. I am there only daughter and I asked my employer if I can add my parents to the my insurance policy but he said that will not be possible. My dad has been searching for a job which offers medical coverage but unfortunately it is a tuff time to find a job. My mother is suffering from Sciatica pain she went to one of the walk in clinics and got the medicine and ended up paying 200$ which did not do any good. Any suggestions how I can resolve this issue?""

""How much do braces cost in los angeles, without insurance?""

I don't really have crooked teeth. My bottom teeth are straight... and my top teeth look straight from a frontal shot, but in reality one of my canine teeth is a little higher and outward then the rest. I want to straighten that one out. How much do braces cost without insurance? in cash! thakns""

How does health insurance work in the USA?

I wanna visit but I keep hearing crazy stories of how going to a hospital makes you bankrupt :/

How much would my insurance cost if i an a new driver age 16 in CT without a car ( i just use my parents car)?

My parents are good drivers and have no real accident record and i havre no criminal record and get decent grades. my dad saqys rates would go up 1500 dollars is he being accuratge?

Question about unemployment Insurance In california?

I have to send my form on the 12 of december. If i dont send it by that time.say about a week later will it be a problem? when is the latest i can send it through the mail? anyone know?

Why should someone who is say 40 get cheaper car insurance than a 17 year old?

If for instance they passed on the same day, why should a 17 year be categorised as less responsible than a 40 year old in terms of driving ability? Particularly when chances are due to the insurance gaps and most probably the earnings of these two hypothetical people the 40 year old would be able to afford a more powerful car...""

Can having your car insurance cancelled lower your credit score?

Insurance Coverage?

HI I was in accident about 5 Month ago..I was seen by a doctors but I stopped going becuase I didn't have that much pain. Now I started having all this pain on my legs..so My question is, if I go see a doctor now, does my insurance covers it. Thank you for your advice..""

""I bought a good life insurance for my family, Just how much does McCain loves 303 million Americans?""

I bought a good life insurance for my family, Just how much does McCain loves 303 million Americans?""

Which is best general insurance to take?

I can pay 2000rs/annam.I need Health & Mediclaim Policy. My Requirements -- Maximum coverage of insurance.Should cover all diseases including new diseases which will come in future(i have worried about swin flu a new arraival in 2009). My age is 27years.

How much should I pay for liability insurance for a non-profit?

I'm from a non-profit volunteer organization that wants its volunteers to teach a 16-session class. Normally, we teach in a local high school, but given the time in the school year, I would like to teach in a public/community setting over the summer. In order to get a public place (library; community center) to host this class, I need to take out liability insurance. I've asked my supervisor whether our organization has liability (no response yet). If we don't currently have it, what is an affordable company to buy it from? How much should my organization pay for a minimal premium?""

What is the difference between term insuarnce and whole life insurance?

Cheap auto insurance?? PLEASE? :(?

My friend she needs car insurance or her car will get repossessed. She's 19 and has only had her license for a year and is being financed a vehicle($200 monthly payments-in 2yrs it'll be payed off). She doesn't have a steady job yet but she's starting college at hcc this fall. She's living with her mom right now. The downfall is that she's already gotten a speeding ticket and hasn't had insurance for 6 or 7months. She needs a non-'name-brand' auto insurance. The cheapest offer so far was $406 a month and she can't afford that. By the way..this is in florida. Can you please inform me of a cheap car insurance place? It doesn't have to be any good..just cheap...thankyou..

Why does it make car insurance a lot cheaper when i add a younger girl than me as a named driver?

i got told to add someone younger than me on my car insurance to make it affordable, she's 17 and I am but she's younger than me, she has a provisional liscence. Is this illegal?""

Do you pay car insurance every month or every six months?

Need it for the class I'm in now. Help quick!

What insurance companies call sports cars?

im a 15 years old and my dad says i cant get a sports car cause i cant afford insurance on it so i want to no if there's a list of all the cars they call sports cars

DUI in CA - how much will my car insurance go up?

I was convicted of a DUI and soon I'll be eligible for a resticted license. I have to have an ignition interlock device installed, and file an SR-22 with my insurance company (Anchor General Insurance). I have not told them yet as I am not yet eligible. I called and they said that they do accept people with DUIs. I am currently paying $77 per month for full coverage. I'm male, 29 years old. How much can I expect my insurance cost to rise once I file the SR-22?""

Maternity on new Insurance?

Hi, I will be relocating jobs and will then have to get onto my new job's insurance. Just wondering, is maternity often available with applying with a new insurance? Could it be considered a pre-exisiting condition? Also, with insurance, would it cover all my ob/gyn visits? New to this, need info! Thanks, in advance!""

Looking into farm bureau insurance in louisiana need help?

Farm Bureau is the cheapest insurance I can afford here but do I have to be a member to get auto insurance through them? I am only 19 will they insure someone my age?

How much do you think my car insurance might cost? HELP PLEASE!?

I'm a new driver. I'm 26 years old. I want full coverage. I live in New Jersey. The amount of the might be 8,000 and Nissan 2007-2010. If anyone have any advice for me, that will help me choice the best car insurance. It would be appreciated. I'm still open to a different car.""

Fake insurance??

Hello my friend want to register his car under fake insurance. He wonder wat will happen if he go register it with that fake insurance?

Question about unemployment Insurance In california?

I have to send my form on the 12 of december. If i dont send it by that time.say about a week later will it be a problem? when is the latest i can send it through the mail? anyone know?

Advise please im looking for a cheapest and reliable car insurance i?

For my honda civic 2012 LX, thank you!""

Car insurance: Hybrid or conventional?

For a vehicle that is available in hybrid HEV and conventional drive train, which one costs more in vehicle insurance? and what is the difference?""

When does insurance go down for minors? at 18 or 21?

im wondering because i am getting a car and i am 17 and i am wondering if i should just wait till im 18 to get it cheaper or if i should just be on my parents plan

Does a Dodge Dart have sports car insurance?

If i buy a dodge dart Rallye and it has the 1.4L turbo engine, will i have to pay for sports car insurance?I have statefarm..""

How much should I be looking for to pay for car insurance?

Its a 98 ford escort with 127,000 miles and it has a salvage title""

Where can I get affordable Health Insurance asap?

If i dont have car insurance can i still drive?

my name is not on the car insurance for my dads car, and he said i cant drive because my name is not on the insurance.""

Classic (1964-1972) Mustang Reliability/Maintenance/Insura...

Hi guys, I am looking to get a classic mustang convertible as my first car/college car. Is this a good idea? I know its not the most reliable, but for the kind of money I have I think it is the coolest and most fun car I can buy. What are the reliability/maintenance/insurance like? thank you!""

Would my insurance policy rate go up?

If I report a hit and run to my insurance company would my policy rate go up?

Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old?

Hi iv just bought a Volkswagen Golf S 1.4l engine and can only get quotes for car insurance of around 4k - 11k. Does anyone know of any insurance companies who can offer a lot less on insurance for teenagers? Thanks

Can having your car insurance cancelled lower your credit score?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/woud-my-car-insurance-go-up-ethan-carpenter/"

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chipsanddespair · 7 years

Photo

As the U.S. labor force crests again, a new complex of problems locks many Americans out of the workplace.

Even at so-called full employment, some 20 million Americans are left behind.

Theyre looking for work, out of the labor force but unhappy about it, or report working part-time when theyd prefer more hours, according to data released last week. Their plight comes even as the U.S. flirts with what economists consider the maximum level of employment for the first time since before the recession, having added 15.8 million jobs since the start of 2010. While some of Americas jobless are simply between gigs, those persistently stuck out of work are called the structurally unemployed.

President Donald Trump said wrongly last month that 96 million people are looking for work, having included Americans who are still in school, retired, or just uninterested. Yet his words resonated in a country where economic insecurity is distributed unequally and cruellyfar deeper in Mingo, W. Va., than in midtown Manhattan.

Because of where the structurally unemployed live, what theyve done, or the skills they lack, employers cant or wont hire them. The problems that keep today’s jobless stuck on the sidelines are different than those of past recoveries: a complex web of often interrelated issues from disability and drug use to criminal records.

Behind the statistics are people with 20 million unique stories. Here are five.

Fighting To Get Out of Mingo, W. Va.

Tyler Moores late-December drive to Louisville, Ky., was one of desperation. He was headed four hours west on Interstate 64 to interview for a job. Even if he landed the position, filling his gas tank had left him with $8 to his name. He would have to sleep at a friends place until he could earn enough to pay rent.

The 23-year-old had run out of options. Hed applied for dozens of jobs within an hour and a half of his hometown of Lovely, once a coal-mining stronghold. Instead of opportunities, he had found waiting lists.

Minimum-wage jobs, fast-food restaurants, Wal-Mart, anything like that, a lot of them has already been took, he says in an Appalachian drawl, explaining that the backlog just to interview was as long as a year. There are no jobs.

Moores story paints an extreme picture of how an economic environment can create a vicious circle of joblessness. While he is an imperfect job candidate, his flaws were molded by his upbringing in Martin County, Ky. and neighboring Mingo County, W. Va.

Moore takes advice from Therese Carew, a nun and counselor

His problems started in earnest in 2014. He had been living on his own for several years, having moved out at 18 after dropping out of high school, obtaining his GED, and going to work in security at a coal company. Moore is gay in an intensely conservative region, and he said he left school because of bullying.

Moore lost his job in late 2013 after smoking marijuana and failing a drug test. Though he found temporary work as a remote customer service representative, he lost that one when his mother died of a drug overdose in 2014 and he had to plan her funeral.

Deeply depressed and unemployed, he moved into an old Airstream camper propped on cinder blocks behind his fathers house, at the entrance to the litter-strewn trailer park that the older man owns in the misty hills of Lovely. There, surrounded by long-unemployed neighbors and rampant drug use, Moore began to abuse his medical prescriptions. I guess I used it as my crutch, in a way, he says.

Moore began getting in fights while drugged and was arrested twice. When he landed in jail for several months, he realized things needed to change. He graduated from a rehabilitation program in September, one year, one month, and 15 days after that last altercation. Since then, hes deepened his friendship with Sister Therese Carew, a Catholic nun who ministers to the region, and dedicated his time to job seeking.

Opportunities are few. Coal mines have been closing, and theyve taken most other businesses with them.

To employers outside the area, the fact that Moore is neatly groomed, soft-spoken, and polite cant mask his history. Whats more, hes the first to admit that the math skills he learned in the local public schoolswhere only eight in 10 students graduatearent up to par, and his speaking patterns are colored by regional grammar.

His situation is difficult, but Moore has found a reason to hope.

Coal work, once a mainstay, has become scarce in Appalachia

He didnt get the job for which he made that 240-mile (386-kilometer) drive, but he dropped in to his old rehab center on the way home. When he explained his predicament, the director of operations told him that he could come back until he gets on his feet. The group has found a job for him in plastics manufacturing that could turn full-time after a 30-day probation period. The position is enabling him to pay $100 a week in rent. Its a chance to build an employment record as he fights to have his record expunged.

Still, moving out requires a tough tradeoff: Moore would have preferred to stay close to home, because his family is still in Kentucky and his father is in his seventies. And the job probably isnt a pathway to wealth and ease. But what Moore wants most is mere self-sufficiency.

A simple lifestyle, but being able to have work: I aint got to have nothing exquisite, he says.

David Wolf wears his journey through drugs and crime on his arm.

Branded as Untouchable by a Felony Rap

These days, David Wolf doesnt allow himself to get excited by the news of a job offer. Most get rescinded within days. Its happened at least a hundred times, he said.

In 2012, Wolf was convicted of faking a name and Social Security number to get prescription painkillers. Now the 40-year-old father of three and former Marine, who has an associates degree from St. Petersburg College, has struggled to find employment. He’s received so many retracted offers that hes lost count.

I get more interviews that I can shake my stick at, but again, it always comes back around to the denominator of being a felon, Wolf says from his small, one-level ranch house in a Tampa, Fla., suburb, where religious imagery and family photos decorate his walls. For many, many years, I pretty much got whatever job I wanted. I was able to do anything I felt like doing. Its really been a humbling experience

Wolf researches employment options at a career center in New Port Richey, Fla

Wolf, whose chaotic life before he got clean included several domestic battery and drug-related charges, is one of the more than a half-million people who are released from U.S. federal and state prison every year. The influx occurs as the nation comes out of a decades-long war on illegal drugs. Implementation of stricter laws and tougher enforcement that led to a mushrooming of incarcerations and a booming ex-offender population. Before his identity theft conviction five years ago, Wolf held several jobs in sales and marketing, managed a call center, and served as a recruiter for the U.S. Marines. Since, he and his family have since lived off food stamps and cash assistance.

They wouldnt even hire me to sell Christmas trees at a Home Depot through an employment agency, he says. A lot of times the hiring managers feel like they have their hands tied, due to company policy. Its something that really needs to change. Not only can I not get a job, but I cant get a job with a living wage for my family. I have three children. I have a wife. Im not a bad guy.

Wolf shares his home with his second wife, his toddler, and a cat he gently picks up every time it scurries into the living room. Nearly half of U.S. children now have at least one parent with a criminal record.

A Corinthians verse, Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails, decorates a sofa cushion. Outside his living room window, children gather by a school bus stop as the morning fog lifts in the modest neighborhood of Holiday, Fla.

Less than a 10-minute drive away, he spends his free time volunteering at a Mormon church, where he also gets career training. A workshop book, The Lord Would Want You to Be Successful, rests on his living-rooms desk. Men with criminal records now account for about 34 percent of nonworking men aged from 25 and 54 years old, otherwise known as prime working age.

Family photographs on the piano at Wolfs home in Holiday, Fla.

Myself and many other felons, and were facing demons, downtime isnt a good thing, he says. Almost half of released inmates are arrested again within eight years, either for new offenses or for violating the conditions of their release. Were getting food stamps and cash assistance. We dont like being on it. But the society that looks down on those receiving assistance is the same society that wont hire me, and the same society that judges criminals when they reoffend.

He had the word forgiven inked on his forearm after a stint in rehab. On the worst days of his addiction, which started following a car crash more than a decade ago, Wolf remembers taking as many as 40 pills in one day. OxyContin, Percocet, and Vicodin were his usual ones.

It affected me, seeing guys that have sentences of 20, 30 years. This is a vicious, vicious circle, and were not going anywhere.

Leroy Moore, one of almost 9 million Americans who receive disability insurance, spends nearly half of his monthly check on his apartment.

#chips #despair

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