#no i cant wait for the rest of my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

james-p-sullivan · 1 year ago

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idk about you guys but im excited to get old and grow wrinkles and see the way my mind and body changes. being super depressed as a teen made me think i would never live past 20 so i like to think of getting older and the changes that come with it as a treat

#my colleague likes to joke about turning 29 for the millionth time and im like #no i cant wait for the rest of my life #i want to be old and fat and grey #i want to sit on my rocking chair and think of all the art and music ive made #all the friends that have come and gone #and i want to be content about it #that’s why im trying so hard to make the memories now #so i can think back on them #anyway i just saw some dumb anti aging bullshit and it made me sad #sulley speaks #positive

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lemonebar · 1 month ago

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new life series i am already insane about

#digital art #my art #mcyt fanart #wild life spoilers #life series spoilers #trafficblr #joel smallishbeans #goodtimeswithscar #jimmy solidarity #ldshadowlady #gemini tay #i cannot describe my excitement #cant wait to watch the rest of the povs

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escaping-peril12 · 6 months ago

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MHA SPOILERS ✣!!

This is 100 times better knowing Shinsou is actually in their class now. 😭😭❤️

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sprinklethetangerine · 6 months ago

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Hey, I just watched Dead Poets Society for the first time ever! Now, if you guys don't mind, I'm gonna go sit in the corner of my room and scream!

#me very politely asking whoever made this movie to revive Neil (i am holding them at gunpoint)#NO BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK #what about my anderperry you cant do that... my anderperry you killed it... why ☹️#no but literally i usually cling onto one character in every show or movie and the rest i could care less about guess who it was for dps?#NEIL IT WAS FUCKING NEIL AND THEY KILLED HIM #i am rotating his father on a fire like a rotisserie chicken and feeding him to dogs.#i hope his father dies a slow agonizing death. i will boil him alive.#me at the end of the movie waiting for someone to say psyche or people to jump out with cameras and tell me i was being pranked #me before: “haha people seem to like this movie a lot it sure seems interesting ill check it out”#me after: “what is life...”#no but all of them standing kn the desks was so AHHHHHH #and i qant to fucking fight that bitch whatever his face was idk i forgot most of their names #the chatterbox tattletale snitchy bitch #thats his name now forget his actual name #dps #dead poets society #anderperry #since i mentioned it in the tags #nuwanda literally was like “sure yeah ill get expelled but i wont rat you guys out”#but chatterbox tattletale snitchy bitch mister “you forgot about the homework” over here is like “yeah so i told them everything”#i am exploding his head with my fucking mind #he deserved that punch so fucking bad

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zymstarz · 6 months ago

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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart #zymtalk #rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st #the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL #i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board #bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route #and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week #then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly #in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized #after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly #SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it #oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi #i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie #[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now #idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim #but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it #anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe #edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j

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murmurmurl · 2 months ago

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a modern human au where nothing bad ever happenned to them and they got to grow up together. I am making myself cry with this chat

#north is sad and beige and would have a stupid phone case #also i did a watermark thingy because im such a cool ans serious artist look at me #BTW !!!!! first thing im posting thats drawn on my new tablet :3 #north has beige mom energy. idk how i feel about it. im just leettinf it happen #yall have no idea i am SHAKING im so normal about them #i need to get to work on. everything about this. bc i really wanna finally be able to coherebtly tell their story #im very insane about them and THE THEMES !!!!!!!#ARGHHHHH #anyways #murl draws #murls ocs #oc #my oc #oc art #art #my art #artists on tumblr #whatever other tags there are #just you wait. i will make this into something coherent #ughhhg i cant. i need to cope ok #and its smth i myself made up wtf !!!!!#imagine being separated from your sibling who is your whole world at a young age and spending the next several decades being told theyre a #a traitor and eventually hunting them down only to discover that while you werw kept in a bubble where everything stayed the same the rest #of thw world has changed so much including your sibling and you realize the only person you could rely on these past few decades has been l #lying to you and now youre completely unajusted to life and have to deal with the fact everything isnt what you thiugjt it was AND EVERYRHJ #G CHABGED IT CHANGED !!!! CHANGE IS INEVITABLE AND YOU HAVE TO FOR THE FIRST TIME VE FACED WITH LIVING FOR YOURSELF AND DISCIVERING WHO YOU #ARE AS A PERSON HHHHHHHHH I CANTTTT.#i dont event have all the names for characters yet GAHHHHH

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the-voldsoy · 4 months ago

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Just listened to Ethics Town! I don't. uh. im going to go. lie down in a dark room for a bit i think

#jesus fucking christ #i would love to say i dont know what just happened but i do and that makes it worse #cant wait to inflict this on everyone i know #because that was actually?? really well written???#definitely something im going to think about occasionally for the rest of my life #ethics town

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unganseylike · 7 months ago

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i hate when i get ghost baited by media. please let your ghost character be actually dead it was only cute when just like heaven did it 😭

#I’m inventing a new word. this has to stop #this is so cruel to do to tumblr user formerly known as ghostlygxnsey #like. dealing w implications of ghost character can be sooo cool and sexy stop bringing them back to life in convoluted ways #any ghost story is inherently a tragedy. lets live in that a little!#noah czerny i love you for rotting and being forgotten #like great example of a really truly dead ghost playing a narrative role only a ghost can #anyway. cant tell u what media this is about bc spoilers. but IM SO MAD .#this is why in my unfinished shitty haunted house au blue is really truly dead . etc #ok wait actually amending my initial only exception #locked tomb gets a pass bc fucked up fantasy rules make it as logical as anything #it was fun and sexy having dead characters reappear #and also its all about grief so we got the tragedy covered. and also ‘im not fucking dead’ even tho she eas #<even so. even tho i know its not gonna happen it cld be cool to see her actually rest. well thats another topic

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harringtiddy · 6 months ago

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Hey so I just need to say this. If Bobby Nash dies, I don't think I'm going to be truly happy ever again and ABC will be paying for my psychiatric/medical bills. Leave my fire captain dad alone 😭 I can't handle the emotional devastation.

#911 #911 abc #911 season 7 #bobby nash #118 firefam #please i actually dont think i can take it #Athenas reaction alone will kill me #not to mention the rest of the 118 or BOBBY'S CHILDREN #Buck included #especially Buck #i think if they give Buck the same trauma as me (dead dad) i will actually never recover ever #they cant do this to me and now i have to wait a week to see if my life will be forever tainted by a weewoo show

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carcarrot · 11 months ago

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crazy year

#new friends. old friends.#the insanity of sparkstour (seeing them in concert TWICE my letter TWICE (it ultimately never got to them but thats ok. revising my plan)#everything ive learned this year........ some of it more mindboggling than the rest #finding my style and buying fun clothes. trying new foods. revisiting old ones #doing scary things like making a hotel reservation! meeting friends in person!!#working on my screenplay! making fun little videos! listening to new music! old music!#becoming more me and living life. this all sounds silly but hey. new year #i cant wait for next year to be even more crazy and fun. its all gonna get better

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nomairuins · 30 days ago

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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid #but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil #i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl #spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but #i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to #afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like #vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you #should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done #with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt #but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen #but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the #way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so #tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me #sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and #it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there #nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having #to work for the rest of my life #ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be #Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes #all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does #but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its #back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until #i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep #and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice #days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends #IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so #dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like #its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going

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bangcakes · 10 months ago

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.

#so like is the rest of my life just gonna be Yearning from now on NZNXNXJXNXMX #ok maybe not the rest of it. but the forseeable future. god how do ppl do this. how have ppl BEEN doing this.#ignorance is truly bliss like. i talk to my friends about him n they dont like fully understand bc theyve never liked someone so mucg #its just so embarassing to talk about n i just BDNDJDJNDJD #i just !!!! always imagined myself single. and would Say Stuff about not wanting anything like that but now im a big clown JDJDJDJJDDJ #BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ITD BE LIKE THIS. GOD #im also like. trying to talk myself out of it. like oh maybe its all in my head JDJDJDJDJDN #but like just too much has happened. idk. im just........ im feeling impatient 😭😭😭😭#but like. its progressed well so far with me just progressing things when they feel Right. hhhhh god #and like things wouldnt have progressed this far without him liking me at least a little????#idk !!!!!!!!!!!! this stuff is so hard. and like i cant even see him now without making plans hhhhhhhhhhh #it was so much easier before we graduated NDJDJDJDJDMMFMD #ah well..... soon i guess. soon #itd be really nice tho if he like asked me out. but i have a feeling that maybe im not being obvious to him?? maybe i gotta spell it out idk #he also said (in ref to a job offer tho) that he wouldnt take it unless it was for sure #and i have a feeling......... that maybe hes not sure ????????? god idk #rip to my simple life. guess i gotta wait til i see him again hhhhhhh #personal

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arolesbianism · 2 months ago

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Sus quest my beloved <333333

#stars posting #the way the effect at the end is the same as when talking to the head housemaiden. tee hee.#ohhhh siffrin. picks them up and throws them off a cliff #also let it be known that the act 4 odile friendquest dialogue is everything to me as well #its delightful to me how bitter they are #I cant wait to watch it blow up #also I love how odile goes abt confronting sif abt it #because like. in act 6 I feel like odile probably assumes she was harsher abt it than she actually was #like she wasnt necessarily gentle but she didnt feel like. angry either. just upset. reasonably so #like the thing that gets me abt her speculation is when shes speculating that they might have lost to the kind before #and just like. that sticks with me so hard. even with sif actively lying to her face she doesn't assume that theyre trying to sabotage them #combined with everything else she says during the whole questline it just. feels like she truly does want siffrin to just talk to her.#with her frustration coming from him just blatantly refusing to despite how obviously super serious of an issue this is #it's always been my favorite party sub quest I love odile I am rotating her in my mind #especially in combination with her act 6 dialogue relating to it #and her act 6 dialogue in general #just like aughhhhh #it feels like to me that she assumes shes worse than she is and thats so fascinating to me combined with the rest of her character #and its like. what is this woman's deal. girlie had stalkers plural. what has your life been like.#and and! her dialogue with the wizard kid where she expressed that it feels nice to be old!! augh!!!#it just reads so much like a character whos already been through the worst period of their life and made it to the other side #and generally speaking she does seem fairly happy and comfortable with herself! but it's a learned thing!#and its just like oughhhhh what if I cried actually. over a backstory that is like 90% just pure speculation on my part #like her adversion to touch. combined with everything else. head in hands.#isat spoilers

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robotpussy · 10 months ago

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☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ maybe I do I want to get married?

#lately ive been like i don't wanna marry i just want to date someone for the rest of my life!#now im like. wait marriage sounds wonderful 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#cant wait to be married with 3 cats and a sexy beautiful partner yes 🫶🫶🫶

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orcelito · 2 months ago

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Whines bc im a few hours into my sleep and I'm not so nauseous now but my limbs...! My limbs, they ache...!!! And it's just all of them, the bone aches in all of them, so I feel like Peter Griffin Death Pose in this bed tonight

#speculation nation #sometimes the chronic pain decides Fuck You especially #i always have some measure of pain but sometimes it decides to flare in Multiple limbs. and it's never fun.#just laying here with pain radiating out of my limbs in a slow steady pulse #*why* dont i have a fibromyalgia disgnosis yet...? bc my fuckin liver readings were off & im waiting for a february GI appointment...?#would my Fucking liver make my limbs all hurt for no goddamn reason in their Bones?????#like i know my doctor is just trying to do her due diligence and if i have a liver problem that can explain the fatigue.#but idk man it's way more than just fatigue. and it's the fact that i have to wait until *february* before the GI appointment #that really gets to me.#if it was sooner id care less. like yeah lets cover our bases yeah. but i have to wait five Fucking months before i even have the Chance #to get a fibromyalgia disgnosis (and hopefully Treatment after)#and in the meantime my limbs will continue to Ache and Ache and Ache...#ive. lived with it up to this point. i can continue to live with it. as yes. this is just the rest of my life.#but god damn itd fucking be nice if i could get some Help for it ykno?#they cant rly change the chronic pain aside from pain relievers. which i dont wanna be too dependent on anyways #but just. idfk theres gotta be Something. some kind of treatment!!! massages?!? i dont know!!!!#i just know my limbs hurt and i have to wait At Least 5 months for a diagnosis (& even then it's not assured)#and it's just. so frustrating. i really hate our healthcare industry.#negative/

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beananium · 1 year ago

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oh its all so painfully real

#vent #transphobia #fuck.#i can barely compose my thoughts. im so upset and pissed off at my family #my grandmother screams my deadname on top of her lungs to call for me when i need to do something for her #and idk tonight i just got set off by it and started crying #eventually i composed myself only to be met with 'thats your name. its what i gave you' by my dad and...#idk i feel like i'll never be fucking accepted for who i am at all #it feels like i'm wearing a heavy mask that just wants to snap my neck if i move wrong #like i'm in the wrong for wanting to change my name due to it not reflecting me anymore #like everyone sees me as a basket case just waiting to be 'fixed' or whatever #its so... ..... i can't stop crying #my grandmother also said she cant change her ways and its making me want to bash my head into a wall until my brain turns into paste #IMAGINE IF I CALLED YOU DENNIS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? WOULD YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT???#i'm so stressed and upset i don't want to do this anymore #im probably just going to listen to music to de-stress. don't have energy to do anything else

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