#no i am not embarrassed
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rat on the run!!!!!!!!!!
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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like where did it come from i was literally doing a silly little art and craft
#dropout tv#game changer#sam reich#erika ishii#me mid-apple butter stirring: i am inherently worthless and also remember that embarrassing thing i said in ninth grade history class yikes
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oh! big stretch!
#deadclaws#poolverine#deadpool#wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#art#daekiyu art#i. am so god damn embarrassed
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#ice ice baby#polls#pls rb i want a good sample size#we can't ALL die of scurvy it's not mathematically possible! someone has to succumb to exposure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also i could have included sooooo many more medical ailments i am being restrained#it could be its own separate poll#anyway so many of these are me and i would love to die of some horrible disease but i would fall into a crevasse#i do not look where i walk and there have been multiple occasions in my life where i have unintentionally climbed into a ravine & got stuck#one of which i had to us tree roots to climb up a rock face and i should have fallen and died#the other option was getting washed away by the tide lmao#and i was too embarrassed to call my boss for help#hi andrea can you send a boat to come get me i'm stuck at the bottom of hole in the wall and can't get back up#greatest (s)hits
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Being horny for mutuals is so fucking embarrassing because I’m grinding on a pillow like a bitch in heat for a girl across the planet whose saying the silliest things ever
#and that makes me want them carnally#robot girl#robot fucker#t4t yearning#yearning#hornyposting#actually grinding the air right now#why am i so gay#and embarrassing
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unwavering devotion
#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#stobotnik#agent stone#jimbotnik#more motorcycle stone please please please#i am embarrassed the way i acted upon seeing him in that one scene#yams art
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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thisis so fuckin embarrassing but the spirit of jayvik just wormed its way back into me after i realize how close arcane s2 is
#the most embarrassing part is that i draw them exactly the same. I STAGNATED BROO FML#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#saw a ref pic and thought maybe jayce would holst vik up sometimes#i am in favor of him sometimes being a human taxi like oda in listless tanaka kun#arcane#league of legends#im so cooked#my art
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they're exhausting<3
#art#digital art#fanart#one piece#one piece fanart#zosan#comic#everyone knew they'd still get into petty fights when they got together...just maybe not like this#but i feel like they WOULD do this tho#edit:JUST realised i left up the colors next to sanji's face and im so embarrassed.... need to stop posting at 4 am#makes my brain mush
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barbie was actually one of the best movies i have ever seen
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been thinkin bout how aziraphale can canonically draw and did this dumb comic
sighhh and heres the drawing
#good omens#good omens 2#aziraphale#crowley#the fact that i to am embarrassed over it- i dont jam 2 well with realism/ i had to use myself for reference and it made me feel a bit sill#trying to make something look traditional while its digital is hard man
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retro 🪖
#cod#call of duty#john price#john soap mactavish#mw2#my art#did someone say WW2 au ???#no?..just me then??#the number of HOURs I put into this...#embarrassing really#disclaimer that I am not- in fact- a WW2 expert#so I'm fully expecting some historian to be cracking their knuckles about to serve me an ass whoopin' on why#Johnny should actually be wearing the lighter material khaki drill uniform if he's in Africa !!#believe me I kNOW!#this is just for funsies anyway~
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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(ID on alt text) wangxian rgrk save meeeee
#mdzs#wangxian#mo dao zu shi#wei wuxian#lan wangji#my art#art#fanart#sketch#how many posts am i at in one day. three? is this triple posting?#im SO impatient abt posting LMAO i need to post shit THE SECOND i finish them its so embarrassing#anyway#'wangxian are fuckin' thursday?#'wangxian are married and if we add wenning its a throuple' thursday?#how do i make a catchy thursday name for wangxian...
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