#no hard feelings to my mom at all i wouldn’t choose any other life

[jugheadthelesbian]

being in a parental position with young children while also balancing school and other responsibilities is kinda crazy as a teenager. like yesterday i did a full day of school and came home to take care of children and put them to bed but i have a project i had to work on and i have college work due at the end of the week but it doesn’t matter because i have tiny humans to turn into kind people. and im typing up my writing with one hand while a five year old clings to my arm to sleep. idk i wish there was mother’s day support for sisters who act as mamas

if u were raised by ur older sister, give her a big hug. it’s a hard job.

[acidinduceddaydreams]

First Real Love with Skz

Skz x reader who was in a toxic relationship before them

Synopsis: In which you experience love, the real kind, for the first time.

Warnings: major tw for trauma in terms of mental and physical violence done by a significant other. Please don’t read if this triggers you.

a/n : this fic was my baby for a long time. Now it’s yours, please look after it. I pray it brings some comfort to you!🫶🏼

Chan:

He feels honored that you choose him to be apart of your life.

Doesn’t pry too much when you bring up your past. If you want to tell him you will and he’s content with that.

He finds you so incredibly intoxicating. He can’t believe that someone would ever treat you badly. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure you’re always happy.

Literally so in love with your more childlike/ whimsical view of the world now that you two are together. Your personality definitely changed for the better once you met him and realized that being safe should be a prerequisite in a relationship.

Minho:

Doesn’t ask about your past relationship much. Mostly relies on you telling him about it when you feel comfortable enough.

Absolutely at your service!!! If you’re having particularly unpleasant or difficult feelings or are in your own head he’s at your beck and call. Whether that’s cooking for you, feeding you (which you won’t admit you like) or even leaving you alone for a bit.

The babies (his cats) are by your side 24/7 to ground you and get you out of your head because “ they wouldn’t want their mom to be sad.”

Changbin:

Cannot fathom the idea of someone hurting you in any way whatsoever without wanting to beat them up.

Unlike Minho, Changbin will not leave you alone if you’re having a particularly bad day. He thinks you’re so precious so he will never leave your side even in a particularly bad situation.

Binnie gives the best cuddles!!!! I am 100% convinced. Cuddling is a must! It’s like free therapy. (He, himself is free therapy but wbk) his hugs and cuddles make you forget about what’s going on in your head bc binnie’s cuddles make everything better.

Hyunjin:

He’s appalled that someone could treat another human with disrespect and violence let alone you!

He’s your number one fan in everything you do. Celebrates your small wins just as grandly as the big ones. Oh you ate breakfast today. Suddenly your name and “I’m so proud of you” is all he knows how to say.

Paints with you. Yk when you put the canvases parallel to each other and paint something for the other person. Yeah you guys do that all the time as a grounding technique but also just as a way to show love to one another.

Jisung:

He’s so good at reading body language!!!!!! He is absolutely crushed when things like holding your hand or stretching his hand out to touch your cheek make you flinch, not because he’s mad or angry at you but rather at the person who ever dared to treat you this way.

Wdym personal space? Hannie’s never heard of it. He’s so good at getting you out of you head. He knows what triggers you and sometimes know when something will trigger you before you do.

He’s so attentive bc why wouldn’t he be when he has you to look after. This boy loves you so much and he shows it every day.

Felix:

Bakes for you!!!!!! Sometimes you two bake together but he usually does it in advance to you telling him you need a little extra love today.

So in love with you. Tries to show you the beauty that you are because you haven’t felt beautiful till you met him. “Oh baby you look even more gorgeous than you did yesterday, I didn’t even know that was possible.”

You remind him of sunshine and he reminds you of the sun. Clearly neither of you can exist without the other.

Seungmin:

He is super playful and witty naturally but he tones down the more mocking side for your particularly hard days. He loves you in ways that you didn’t know you could be loved.

On regular days though you two share a similar sense of humor. He loves that about you. Never lets it go too far though.

Absolutely a sucker for you. The boys tease him for being soft for you but he doesn’t care. You’re his baby and he doesn’t care who sees that.

Jeongin:

This boy is so whipped for you. He always listens to you even if what you have to say is something he has no idea about. It feels so amazing to have someone listen to you. To truly listen. He makes it look easy even though listening and not interrupting is quite hard.

He’s not a big fan of skinship but your hands are always within his and he loves it. He’s genuinely so feral for it but you don’t need to know that.

He’ll make sure to show you how someone treats someone they love every day. He’s so attentive and that makes going to him whether it’s with a problem or just to talk so easy because you know there’s no judgment from him.

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Mine

Luke Castellan x Reader

Requested by: @officiallenalove like imagine the reader is like a daughter of Poseidon and we know he’s not around most of the time and she meets Luke and they like fall in love but she’s never known what healthy love looks like so it’s low key angsty but happy at the same time yk?

Summary: "You are the best thing that's ever been mine"

Warning: crappy parents, angst, self doubt

Word Count: 2k

Masterlist

A/N Sorry this took so long I had a hard time choosing which lyrics/moments I wanted to write

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter

Godly parents were always deadbeats. It was just a fact of half-blood life. But after spending years thinking I had no father, I was thrilled to have been claimed by Poseidon. It was naïve of me to think that just because he claimed me he’d be a good father just because I knew of his existence. I spent night after night praying to him, looking for some sense of guidance from him but never receiving anything. Eventually I learned not to bother with him or anyone else.

My mom had let me down enough times that I knew it wasn’t just gods that let you down. When she finally told me about my father she told me I’d be moving to a strange place. Not for my safety but because she didn’t want to take care of the daughter of the god that broke her heart. She complained endlessly on the drive over that my father never even bothered to offer her immortality, rather last she heard of him he was falling in love with another woman on Long Island.

She was dead to me after she dumped me at camp with hardly a goodbye. And then my father was dead to me when I begged for his help but received nothing.

~

I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' / Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

Most of the other campers felt the same about their godly parents but it seemed like the only one who really understood was Luke.

“I mean, it’s like we’re nothing to them,” Luke ranted to me. We rant to each other a lot. “We’re just byproducts of their mistakes.”

“Gods, I hate men,” I groaned, lying back in the grass of the green. “Are all fathers this shitty?” I asked, looking up at Luke. I squinted into the sun as I peered at him accusingly. He moved his hand to block the sun from my eyes.

“I wouldn’t know from personal experience but I wouldn’t be this shitty,” he smiled cheekily down at me. He moved to lay back too, resting on his elbow. “I’d never abandon you.”

I could feel my chest tighten and I hoped it wasn’t apparent on my face. I just laughed, gently pushing his chest in a playful manner, hoping I was sparing him any embarrassment by making him think I thought he was joking. “You wish. You’d probably leave once the first diaper change comes.” I couldn’t even begin to consider loving him—or anyone—enough to feel abandoned by him. Thanks to my parents I felt more than enough abandonment.

He gave me a forced laugh as I sat up. “Yeah probably. I’d just be the fun dad.”

~

Do you remember, we were sittin' there by the water? / You put your arm around me for the first time

Later that day I found myself sitting on the beach of the Long Island Sound. The ocean was always sort of a sore spot for me because it was just a reminder of my father but it still felt calming. Like I belonged despite my father’s indifference.

As I stared out into the sound, zoning out, I let my mind wander to the conversation I had with Luke. That wasn’t the first time he had tried to hint at his feelings and he was a great guy but I couldn’t trust him. I didn’t have faith that he—or anyone for that matter—wouldn’t just let me down. How could I trust I wouldn’t let him down.

I was interrupted from my thoughts by the man himself. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked, coming to stand next to me. I just wordlessly gestured for him to sit next to me. He complied, taking a few breaths before looking at me. “I’m just gonna come right out and day it: I like you,” he rushed. “You don’t have to like me back or anything but I need to know that you know.”

I stared at him, my mouth agape. I hadn’t expected his boldness. “Um…” I had to take a second to structure my thoughts. “Luke, you’re a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you but you don’t want me.”

“Actually, I do I just said it,” he chuckled, trying to release some tension.

I laughed with him. “No, I mean I don’t think I can give you what you want. I’m not the best with feelings and I’m not entirely convinced that you, and everyone else in my life, won’t just leave me when it’s convenient.”

“Hey,” Luke chided gently, throwing an arm over my shoulder to bring me closer, “I meant what I said I'm not gonna abandon you. And if you’re scared, that’s fine, we can take this slow. If you really just don’t want a relationship that’s fine. I’ll still be by your side no matter what.”

Tears pricked my eyes at how thoughtful and caring he was being. Fortunately he couldn’t see them because my head was resting on his shoulder. “Okay,” I agreed, “I want to try taking things slow with you.” His grip on me tightened as he held me a little closer, like he was so excited you just have to squeeze something.

~

Braced myself for the goodbye / 'Cause that's all I've ever known

Things were great for a few months. Every time I began to doubt our relationship, Luke was there to help me. Giving me constant assurances and telling me how much he loved me. So much so that I started to feel like a burden to him. Like I was just a task he had to get through every week.

“Hey,” Luke announced his presence as he entered my cabin, “I haven’t seen you all day, what’s up?” he asked, looking around the cabin.

“J-just a second!” I called from a storage closet. I quickly wiped my tears and steeled myself, willing myself to look normal. Realizing he’d be wondering why I was in the closet, I grabbed a random blanket from one of the shelves. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the closet with a smile. “Hey.”

His face immediately dropped. “What’s wrong?”

Curse my puffy eyes. “Nothing,” I answered. He approached me but I just slid past him, dropping the blanket onto my bunk. “Why?”

“Your eyes are all red. What’s wrong?” he asked again. Once again trying to touch me but I just backed away.

“Must be dust or something in the closet,” I tried to dismiss.

His face hardened. “C��mon, Y/N I know something’s wrong. I don’t want you to hide things from me. I want to take care of you.”

At his words the dam broke and all the thoughts and feelings I had been dealing with bubbled over. “I don't want you to have to take care of me!” A look of hurt appeared on his face and my heart ached for him. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I do. I just don’t think it’s fair to you to have to comfort me whenever anything little happens. It’s pathetic,” I spat at myself.

“Hey, no, you’re not pathetic,” Luke assured me.

“You’re not listening to me,” I insisted. “How can you possibly want to be with me when I do nothing but drain you?” I stared at him, waiting for him to realize that I was a leech and leave for his own sake. But instead, he just looked endeared.

“Y/N, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re a burden to me. I love you and I love that I'm the one who brings you comfort. So please, just let me love you.”

My resolve broke and I went to him, letting Luke pull me into his chest. “What did I do to deserve you?” I cried into the warmth of his chest.

“I ask myself the same,” he returned, pressing a kiss to my head.

Masterlist

[helluva-high]

jax headcanons!! involving kinger, queener, and ragatha!!

———————————

so i’m hooked on the idea that jax joined the circus as a child, so i decided to be silly and come up with my own headcanons for it

jax arrived in the digital circus very young, maybe.. 6 or 7. he, of course, was confused and panicked, but queener immediately helped to calm him down. and as time went on, kinger, queener and jax ended up becoming a little family in the circus.

they would read to him before bed, help him eat, run around with him, everything loving parents do!

but, as he got older, maybe around.. 13, he wanted to leave. he wanted to leave the circus and find kinger and queener in real life, since his own life was awful. him entering the circus was a way to escape.

unfortunately, the two had to explain to him that there’s no exit, and he’s stuck there. but that they were with him! and that they’ll take care of him.

he had a breakdown that day, and it lasted a few days. and queener felt absolutely distraught that her son, her prince, was going through this. so what did she do?

she looked for an exit.

from when jax was 13, to when he was 18, queener kept looking for an exit. at first, kinger helped, hoping that she’d give up after a while. but she didn’t. during this time, ragatha joined (dont take this to heart ill change it up when we get timelines of when everyone joined), and her and jax grew close, having a sort of unspoken older sister, younger brother relationship.

but eventually, queener drove herself insane to the point of abstracting.

everyone; jax, kinger, ragatha, gangle, kaufmo, zooble, and a few others (who later disappear before pomni appears), witnessed it.

and jax? oh, the poor boy. he was broken. caine ended up coming around as gangle went to grab him, and he opened up the cellar. he picked her up to put her in, but jax didn’t want that.

he reached out, grabbing ahold of her, being lifted off the ground. kinger panicked, reaching to grab jax’s feet. with the help of ragatha, they pulled him down. kinger held onto jax tightly as he reached out to abstracted queener. caine sealed her away, before turning his attention to jax, who just cried out for his mom.

he just sat there, his condition.. not the best. due to the contact, he started the pre-abstraction phase, his entire body quickly being consumed by the glitch.

caine reacted quickly, this being the first time he’s had to save someone before they abstracted. due to this, some of his coding wasn’t back to normal. he can break the filter, but chooses not to unless need be. it also explains all his keys. he didn’t just find them laying around. (i’ll add a few more things when i think of them.)

the rest of the day, everyone was quiet. kinger locked himself in his room, wanting to be alone. jax did the same, but often just hid around, hoping not to be found.

and that night, jax stood in front of his mirror, just staring at his reflection. he almost didn’t recognize himself.

he was crying.

he hadn’t cried in years, much less any serious tears. queener and kinger were always there for him, to help him calm down.

but this time? he was alone.

he couldn’t understand why his fur was wet, why he couldn’t stop crying. it wouldn’t stop. the tears wouldn’t stop.

so he went to the only person he felt comfortable with.

knocking on her door, ragatha answered, looking up. “jax..?” she asked, a look of shock on her face.

jax stood there, a hand feeling his face as he stared down at her, utterly confused. “my.. my face is wet. it won’t stop.”

“why won’t it stop?”

and ragatha just pulled him in to a hug, and jax didn’t realize he was audibly crying until ragatha rubbed his back, and cooed, “it’s okay. just let it all out. you’re okay, i’m here.”

he spent the night in her room, and they talked.

“why does it hurt so much? it- it's like.. there's a pit in my body, it's so hard to breathe?"

"because it's a loss, jax."

"but i lose a bunch of things-- i don't know why this hurts so bad."

"because it's her."

"what?"

"you're hurting, because you lost her. your mind knows she isn't coming back, but your heart- doesn't. you watched her be put into the cellar, she's gone, jax. and it's hurting because you know she isn't going to come back."

"..but.. she's still alive.."

"..i know."

"..why does it hurt so much..? she's not-- dead, i don't-"

"it's just the way things work, hun. it's.. it's going to be hard, but you'll get through it. we're all right here with you, it'll be okay."

i’ll summarize the rest.

jax ends up hating how he feels, he hates crying, he hates being so sad. so he starts to cope differently. he makes jokes, he becomes more sarcastic, more cold and uncaring for the well being of others. his grief turns him into who he is when we see him during the pilot.

writingn this while sick killed my eyes cuz im not wearing my glasses LOL anyway judt had to thrownhis out there when im unsick ill draw more ok bye guys 🎉

[thornpixie]

I am Team Jeremiah, but that doesn’t mean I hate Conrad. However, I find it very hard to feel any sympathy for him: an essay.

I truly hope Conrad finds happiness. I just don’t think he and Belly are right for each other. And no, I haven’t read the books (you can read my feelings on that argument in another post I’ve done lol), so I’m just going off the show.

I am Team Jeremiah, I make no secret of it. But that’s because he is just the better choice for Belly. Not because he is better than Conrad, full stop. They both have their flaws. Should Jeremiah have made out with his brothers ex girlfriend like that, without at least talking to him first? Hell no. But come on - the guy tried to resist. He tried so hard. Belly kept pushing. And let’s remember what Conrad said to Belly at the start of the season after they kissed - ‘Do you want to be with him?’ ‘Being with you is all I’ve ever wanted.’ ‘Okay so be with me then.’

Belly choosing Conrad over Jeremiah was all that mattered back then, not how it affected anyone else, even though she was quasi-dating his brother for most of the summer. He didn’t give a fuck about Jeremiah and if it wasn’t for Belly saying no, he would have flaunted her immediately, even knowing she had kissed Jere a few times. When he asked Jeremiah for his blessing, I don’t believe he did that for any other reason than Belly would continue to distance herself from him until she believed Jere was over it. Conrad did not go to Jeremiah to make sure he truly was okay. He was ticking a box for Belly. Jeremiah was quite obviously not okay with it but Conrad chose to ignore that because he wanted Belly. We saw that in what he told Belly about it afterwards. He took the parts of the conversation that suited his narrative and the outcome he wanted, and he ran with it. And it worked. Jeremiah got hurt, and Conrad didn’t care, because he had Belly.

Their relationship wasn’t this epic love story. I still don’t understand where it came from. I understand Belly’s crush. But when and how and why did Conrad start loving her? The writers of the show seemed to just say ‘he just does’ and we are supposed to say ‘okay yeah sound makes sense.’ I just don’t understand the timeline. Besides that though… Look, I understand and empathise with the fact that his mom was dying while they were dating, and that he was struggling with his mental health. It was a lot for an 18 year old to deal with. (Of course, Jeremiah was dealing with it, too, but Conrad stans conveniently forget that). But Belly suffered in that relationship because of it, and no one should have to do that. To me, it seemed like she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to pull away. Scared. Maybe Conrad wasn’t going to break up with her at prom, and she jumped the gun, but it says a lot about how she was feeling that she immediately assumed that. A relationship shouldn’t be like that.

Jeremiah, though… from day one he was open and honest with her. He asked her straight up if she could ever love him like she did Conrad and she said YES. Belly said herself - Jeremiah is always there when she needs him. That’s what you need in a life partner. And fuck me, the passion they have. A perfect blend of supportive and passionate. Tie that man DOWN. He is supportive, he defends her, he speaks his mind, he is honest and reliable (the only time we saw him ‘let her down’ in any way was when he missed the dance at the Deb Ball and jeez, he had a damn good reason so no one can blame him). He makes her laugh. They can have fun together, but can also have the serious conversations. I married my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s honestly amazing to know you have that person who truly sees you, loves and supports you. Who is your comfort. Jeremiah is that for Belly. Honestly, I could go on and on about how Jeremiah is the perfect match for her - and the chemistry between Gavin and Lola definitely adds to it, but it isn’t the only factor - but everyone has probably given up reading by now…

Both boys have been dealt a shit hand, losing their mother. Both boys have made mistakes and have flaws. But they both have incredibly good qualities, too. Personally, I just think that Jeremiah is more suited to Belly, and they will have a happy, healthy relationship.

Also, the way she kissed him back in that episode… I’m sorry but there’s no way she’s not jumping his bones when they start officially dating. It wouldn’t make sense to me. She was smiling against his mouth and knotting her fingers in his hair, and it was ‘Wattpad level hot’, as Taylor would say. Considering she’s already done the deed, I can’t see any logical way for the writers to incorporate a ‘no intimacy’ storyline for them. Especially after that scene in particular, but also their first kiss in the pool back in season one, and the booby fondling in the car - WHERE BELLY STRAIGHT UP SAID SHE WAS NOT NERVOUS BECAUSE IT WAS JEREMIAH. Sorry, but let’s be real - there’s not a chance in hell those two are not banging the brains out of each other. And good on them. So I hope that is a change made to the books. Furthermore, show-Jeremiah cheating? I cannot see it happening. I really really hope it doesn’t.

IF Bonrad must be endgame, then please, Jenny Han, I beg of you to right your wrongs and not assassinate Jeremiah’s character to reach that ending. There are better ways to do it. But I maintain that the better choice for Belly is Jeremiah. And Conrad should meet someone new who is more emotionally mature and able to deal with his very obvious mental health problems. Someone he feels he can open up to about them. Because, as a sufferer myself, you need that support. Belly doesn’t provide that for Conrad and, as a result, Conrad doesn’t give Belly what she needs either.

One last parting thought - what the fuck happened to Jeremiah and Steven’s friendship? Jeremiah told Steven how much he cared for Belly in season one. Why did literally no one listen to him? And how did no one see it in the way his entire personality seemed to shift in season two. He’s lost his sparkle. YES most of that is because of his mom, but is everyone really that blind to him? No one notices that poor guy. He’s completely overshadowed by Conrad in every aspect. Everyone just expects Jeremiah to roll over and let everyone else have their happy ending while he gets trampled on because he’ll ‘just get over it’. Come on. WRITERS - DO BETTER. There is too much phenomenal acting talent in this show to let bad writing and tropes ruin it.

In conclusion, I haven’t written this much on one topic since I did my degree and I am obsessed with this show. Goodbye.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

I would like to request A gender neutral reader being a half titan (Greek myth titans) half mortal whose father is Oceanus (Because it only makes sense) and the ror universe greek gods being surprised about the fact that the reader is human looking and human sized despite their their father being a titan. Greek Gods Only please. (I.e. Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hermes And Ares and/or Heracles)

It would be fun to see their reactions.

And Crossover is Heavily Implied But No Crossover here, Please.

How They knew and met is entirely up to your choosing.

-When it was revealed that there was a child of a Titan still out there in the world, the gods, naturally, panicked!!!

-Zeus was immediately giving out orders for this Titan child to be found, worrying about another uprising, wanting this to be dealt with immediately!

-They were not expecting their target to be brought in by Aphrodite, walking alongside her, about the same height, and looked basically like a normal human, except you had blue hair that was dark in some spots and lighter in others, like the ocean.

-You weren’t really sure why you were being called by the gods, as you’ve spent most of your life lounging on a beautiful tropical island you had converted into a massive luxury resort.

-Zeus looked up at you, his eyes wide, “This is the child of Oceanus?!” you grinned warmly down at him, “Hi there! That’s right, he’s my dad! I’m Y/N!”

-You were totally not what they were expecting, even Aphrodite, who had found you on accident, was stunned that you looked so… unlike your Titan father.

-Hades then spoke to you, his tone even but not unkind, “If you’re Oceanus’ child, why are you normal sized like the rest of us?”

-You shrugged your shoulders, “Not completely sure myself- oh wait- I know why! It’s because I’m only a demi-god, mom was a human!”

-That wouldn’t completely explain things, but they weren’t going to bother with it at the moment.

-Poseidon was rather leery of you, worried you were going to try to take over the oceans to avenge your father.

-You were immediately laughing, holding your sides as he scowled, looking rather annoyed before you gave him a grin, “Why would I want to do that when I have my resort to keep me busy?”

-This…did make sense, and Zeus was the first to apologize to you but you weren’t bothered, actually extending an offer to them to visit your resort!

-Zeus- He was instantly like your best friend, he was so funny and enjoyed as many activities he could at the resort, from partaking at the different restaurants and bars, learning to dance, you taught him how to surf yourself, at least the simple stuff. You were definitely nothing like the other titans he faced in the past, you were so much fun! He quickly joined your rewards program and was at the resort at least once a month.

-Poseidon- Watched you the closest while at your resort, which was very beautiful and you took cleanliness very seriously, not allowing any pollution from your resort to taint the beaches or oceans, and you were a constant diver in the ocean around your island, making sure there was nothing bad to disturb the reef or the wildlife. He relaxed after a few days, enjoying hard liquor as he floated in the lazy river pool that wrapped around your whole island.

-Hades- Was annoyed that he spent most of his time at the resort asleep, sleeping in his bed, sleeping in a poolside cabana, sleeping on the warm sandy beaches. He felt like he didn’t get a chance to experience all your resort had to offer, but he did feel extremely relaxed. Hades booked his next vacation as they were getting ready to leave. You were no threat; he was quick to realize this.

-Hermes- The resort was so beautiful! Hermes spent days exploring, from the resort to the beaches, scuba diving with you to see the reefs, and even the jungle that had a footpath the whole way through. He had no idea this place was even here! It was so relaxing and peaceful, he could easily tell that you were nothing like other titans, you were way too chill. He did however, enjoying watching you teach Ares how to scuba dive while he sat on the beach with a massive fruity-boozy beverage.

-Ares- Was hesitant and rather distrustful of you, thinking you were an evil titan like all the others. You were very quick to prove him wrong, given them all free reign of the resort, they could eat, drink, and have as much fun as they wanted! Ares, after a bit of goading from Hermes and Zeus, managed to convince him to go scuba diving, but only if you taught him. Ares found the experience different but eye-opening, although he didn’t like his father and half-brother teasing him afterwards.

-Hercules- You two were like you had been separated at birth, almost constantly together, getting along so easily with each other. He loved your resort, especially the options of food available from the six restaurants and nine bars, all with vastly different menus. He also enjoyed exploring through your jungle, seeing the signs you had put out, showing different landmarks. It felt so good to just be able to lay down, bury his feet in the warm sand, and relax the days away.

-Aphrodite- Was in heaven at your resort, taking full advantage of the spas, pools, and drinks offered; she spent her whole time there being pampered and treated like the goddess she was. You were definitely not a threat, despite your lineage, and she will not hesitate to defend her new favorite resort owner from others.

[crueltyserpent]

When she introduces us, she’s either my girlfriend or my mom. She’s neither of course, she killed my mom and my girlfriend so long ago at this point. Sometimes I think she chooses whichever she thinks will make me more uncomfortable; it’s not like whoever she introduces us to will live long enough for their thoughts on it to matter. If I were to choose a name for what I am, I would probably go with captive. Victim also comes to mind, but it’s hard to feel like I’m the most victimized person in the room when she’s cutting off the fingers of a naked woman one by one.  At least she’s not making me eat them this time. The “here comes the airplane” bit with raw human flesh isn’t nearly as funny as she thinks it is.

If I guess why she keeps me around, why I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere like every other poor bitch who get’s her attention, I’d guess it’s because simply torturing attractive women to death every other day doesn’t fully sate her appetite for cruelty. Sure, her ability to wring physical pain out of a stranger is staggering, but there’s a special type of satisfaction she gets from the form of psychological torture that is only possible to inflict on someone she keeps close for an extended period of time. I don’t know if she chose me because something about me was uniquely appealing to hurt or she just liked how my dick felt inside her, but at this point I’m fairly confident she’s sunk too much work into messing with my head to casually replace me.

The woman bleeding out on the floor is the owner of the Air BNB we’re staying at, a chipper blonde thirtysomething who was now karmically paying for the fact that nothing in her life had ever gone wrong before. I used to vomit seeing a girl taken apart like this. Now it’s boring enough that I can sit on the bed reading a romance novel while barley acknowledging the poor cunt’s slowly decreasing number of body parts. This is an easy one, relatively speaking. I don’t really have enough emotional energy left to feel bad for well to do women a decade older than me who’d never give me so much as a smile if I weren’t a customer.

I call myself a captive, but it’s not like I couldn’t walk out of the room if I wanted to, physically speaking. She wouldn’t stop me, she’d continue her ruthless execution and not even remark on me leaving. I was never bound (except for sex), never locked in a room, always free to go where I wanted. It had just been incredibly clear to me that if I ever made an attempt to do something she disapproved of, she could make my life so much worse than it already was as her unwilling partner in crime. One time she had left me alone for three months, letting me think I was free, only to return and kill every single person I had met and liked to any degree. I was trapped with her because she had created a situation where helping her murder people every few days was the decision I could make with the lowest innocent body count. And it meant that sometimes women like this died instead of the cute queer girls my age who used to blow me in alleys. Seeing someone I might have been friends with in a different life die was a whole different story to something like this.

I turn the page, working my way through a particularly arbitrary love triangle as I hear the death rattle. I don’t remark on it, but I’m not at all surprised when my bloodstained captor sits at the foot of the bed, looking at me with those hungry eyes. Don’t get me wrong, this woman is evil, the worst person I could even imagine who I would do anything to be free of.

She’s also probably the hottest person I’ve ever met. She was the first woman ever to be hot enough to make me cheat on my girlfriend, in what was either the greatest mistake of my life or the sole decision that kept me alive, depending on what would have happened if I turned her down. Her nude body sprayed with fresh blood is a powerful sight, and her toothed smile makes me shiver as blood rushes between my legs.

“Anything spicy happening in your book, honey?” She asked in a soft, motherly tone, her hands moving to undo my belt buckle. I hate how much her sexy mom routine works on me. It’s humiliatingly effective. I should be anywhere else right now, doing anything else, doing anyone else, but as she rides me, her other victims blood dripping off her chest over my face, I can’t do anything but whimper in enjoyment.

[kanmom51]

I think I had wishful thinking with how this whole Jk thing would be handled. It’s showing me that a lot of ARMY still forget that our boys are human. I understand having strong feelings towards certain habits due to a multitude of reasons but seeing people question his character is wild to me. Yoongi talked in his documentary about this very thing. Things being blown out of proportion that genuinely in the scheme of things don’t need to be. Our boys have shown us they drink heavily, something that is also harmful but it seems that doesn’t get as much hate as smoking. They are grown men who will do and have habits that aren’t great but as of what we know don’t change who they are. Jk is still our goofy silly guy that we love. I’ll get personal for a second I’m also a singer and used to be a heavy smoker of 🌱, I stopped eventually because I knew long run it wouldn’t be great for my voice but so many singers do it. Now what he seems to be smoking is obviously not healthy but he chooses to do it cuz he likes it and wants to. Of course we want them to be healthy and take care of themselves but again they are grown. I really feel for K-pop idols because it seems there is no way to win. The idol system in a sense sets them up to “fail”. More people upset with him smoking then him being filmed without his permission. Western pop stars are out here doing some wild stuff and no one holds it against them. I feel for them really I do. Again I get that it can be hard for people if they have their own experience with smoking. I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am with the reaction I guess but after how he has been so open on his Weverse lives about being an adult and living his life the way he wants, who are we to say no you can’t do that because we don’t like it.

I agree!!!

Anything else I have to add? I really don't know, cause you kind of said it all @leearmy.

Do I love he's smoking? Hell no. Like I wouldn't love for one of my girls to. It's bad for your health. It's not great for his voice. I lost my mom to lung cancer so it's a little of a sore spot for me.

But at the end of the day, he's a grown up and it's his decision, his life to live.

So, not loving it, but no judging going on. These are my demons to deal with, nothing to do with JK or his choices.

I do have to say that I don't love the glorification of it either. JK is sexy. Period. No need for a cigarette in his mouth to make him that.

I just wish people would accept this is something he does and move on without the ugly or sexy talk going on.

Either way, this is still JK. Smoking or not smoking doesn't make him a good or bad person. It's a lifestyle choice he's making. Nothing illegal going on. Nothing hurtful to others. And as such it's in the "people need to mind their own business" category.

This is most definitley being blown out of proportion. As if we have any say about their private lives in any way shape or form (we most definitely don't).

Like you said, it's still JK, the sweet kind goofie young man that we love.

Plain and simple.

[celestie0]

you know why he feels entitled to eat the peach cobbler ingredients without asking??? YUP, the patriarchy made him believe he’s welcome to everything he wants. can’t fucking stand him…

STAND STRONG READER (i’d have folded the first day but luckily she’s stronger than i am). i love that he’s feeling bolder with his advances 😭 he’s both clueless and strangely in tune with readers emotions and i really love that. this gojo is such a green flag i wanna fight him so bad 😩 i wanna know what was going through his head when he just went for the kiss (probably “she’s so fucking hot” or something) at that moment

their banter is so addictive and i love that they keep each other on their toes without being straight up mean to each other. also love that gojo backed up y/n with everything that’s going on with Juno, he couldve just let everything play out but he backed Juno and y/n up every step of the way even against his own sister, i love that so much 😭

as someone that has also gone through caretaker’s fatigue… i really get what she’s going through. it’s hard to realize how you flourish when you’re away from it all. i hope she doesn’t let the guilt eat away at her because we know her mom wouldn’t want that for her.

this is all over the place so i’m really sorry! i can’t help but gush over this story bc it’s just that good 🙂‍↕️ but in all seriousness, i really hope you’ve been doing well. i will be here no matter what you decide for you and your stories, it’s genuinely the least i could do for the authors that share their work with us. i appreciate you letting us read your stories and i really do hope life is being kind to you. TYSM and i can’t wait to read whatever you have for us 🥰

hiii makimais darlingg pls i look forward to your ihm reviews so much :”)

LOLOL fr. i think its so funny how im so down bad for gojo but at the end of the day he’s still just a MAN smh 😂😭🙄 ihm reader will never be any man’s peace

both clueless but strangely in tune w her emotions is sooooooo ihm gojo like you pretty much summed him up right there LOL. i feel like he saves his self awareness energy for the moments where it really matter and then the rest of the time he’s just vibing no thoughts head empty LMFAO idk thats kinda the vibe canon gojo gives me so i wanted to emulate that in ihm gojo :)

yes! tbh i love it when men choose u over their family 😂😂 is that strange? like not in a super overbearing way but idk when guys start to kinda put u up there over their family in terms of priority thats kinda hot asf to me so it was fun writing a lil glimpse of that in the recent chapter

aww i hear you, and i’m sorry. i too have been a caretaker n one of my closest friends spent two years taking care of her dad before he passed away and i could see the physical n emotional toll it all took on her :( it really is such a complicated situation, but absolutely guilt is such a huge part of it, and it’s hard to shake that feeling

thanks darling!! you’re too sweet. you have a wonderful rest of your day <3

[razorblade180]

Up In Smoke

Part two of Thief’s Gambit<-

Carmine was a lot of things. Talented, strong, capable, and yet she knew despite all those things that she had several failings. For starters, and most importantly, constructive conversation. An hour had passed and yet Carmine couldn’t stop replaying her conversation with Mona. There was next to nothing she knew that would talk that girl out of whatever her intentions were, but that didn’t make Carmine feel any better as she looked over the city. Just what prompted Mona to ask for a favor that would require, to a degree, willful negligence? Nothing good. That much was certain.

“Why can’t things ever be simple?” She sighed. If only she had a lead to go on. Carmine wanted to ponder further but her scroll began blinking. Sure enough, it was Aero. Mona must’ve gone through with leaving like she said. Carmine answered the call. “Hello?”

“Carmine! Where are you right now?” He said with urgency.

“Patrolling. Is something the matter?”

“Mona quit the gang out of nowhere. Said her time with it was done and that she had better things to do.”

“Can you really be surprised? She’s always been a loose cannon. If you weren’t reigning her in then who knows how deep her antics would go.”

“Look, I know you don’t like her but Mona isn’t as terrible as you make her. Yeah she’s troubled but who wouldn’t be in her predicament. I mean you’ve met her mother.”

That was an interaction Carmine wishes she could forget. “Yeah, yeah I have. I don’t blame Mona for how she is in life. I blame her for choosing not to change.”

“That’s…”

She could hear Aero sigh in defeat. “Hey, you’re a good person for trying to help her. It’s what makes you, you. It’s pointless to tell you not to worry over this but-”

“She’s not my responsibility. I swear you and my mom say that as if I told you she was. What’s so hard to understand about wanting to keep a person in your life despite the risks. I help because I care.”

“And now you sound like my mom.”

“Is that supposed to be terrible?”

“No…never. It just means we’re never going to convince each other on certain topics.” Carmine frowned.

“Is that really how you feel?” Aero could tell her attitude became a little somber.

“I don’t know. Maybe? All I know is you’re gonna get hurt moving through problems the way you do. I’ll never say your way isn’t beautiful in its own right, but as long as you’re someone I cherish, don’t expect me to watch you approach a fire without trying to put it out myself. I’d rather take the burn then let you feel the flames.”

Carmine waited for a response but the call ended. She almost felt insulted until she heard the flap of powerful wings behind her. Aero landed with a neutral expression on his face. He was clearly bothered.

“If that’s how you feel then you don’t give yourself enough credit when it comes to being kind, even if it’s selfish.”

“I’m a selfish person.”

Aero rolled his eyes. “I don’t think you believe that. Not for a second. Sounds like to me you’re-”

“Why’d you call me? I know it wasn’t to have some debate on ideals and values.”

Of course Carmine would push back the moment the topic moves to her. Whatever. Aero was used to it by now and she was right anyways. “I called you to ask if you’ve seen Mona. Figured between patrol and all your flowers, you’d know something.”

“That’s not quite how my flowers work. And you’re wrong.” Carmine turned back towards the city lights. What’s one more potential burn? “Haven’t seen her. If anything she might actively be avoiding me if she has something planned.”

Aero came up beside her and sat down, his thoughts brewing. “I just can’t make sense of what’s changed.”

“…You’re not the only one. Whatever is going on, we’ll just have to wait.”

“So you’re helping me?”

“Like I said, I’m not letting you walk into fire if I can help it. Not that I wouldn’t help anyways. Mona has never been the quickest troublemaker.” Carmine squinted as she remembered the sword of destruction incident.

Aero let out a small chuckle. “Heh, I wouldn’t be so sure. You’d be surprised just how many times there’s something missing that nobody was even looking for.”

That was true. Credit is given where credit is due. Never underestimate The Gem of the Slums. “Guess we should keep our eyes peeled then.”

Oh how little did they both know. The dazzling lights of the city they watched over were suddenly drowned out by bright, blinding lights to their left. Their heads turned in silence as the sight of three brilliant pillars flames rose into the sky. Carmine and Aero had yet to process the sight, until the thunderous boom came. Buildings rattled and wind whipped as the shockwave hit them into reality. The sound of alarms began to play as Carmine’s eyes widened.

Aero still needed a second. “Wh…what the-”

“Ambulance.” Carmine uttered, her feet pulling her closer to the explosion. “Call emergency services!”

Aero watched her run off. He pulled out his scroll and followed suit.

Carmine looked over her shoulder. “Don’t follow me!”

“Oh you can not be serious!? I know we were just talking about burns but-”

“Not that! Fly up you idiot! Let them know how far and fast the flames spread! You’ll be our eyes in the sky. Go!” She commanded.

Aero spread his condor wings out and shot straight up into the sky with a single flap. His call came through as he gazed upon an unforgettable sight of a growing sea of red and orange. “H-hello!? There’s been an explosion. The slums, it’s…it’s burning away…”

xxxxxxx

Inside the chaos Carmine’s clones in the area had hit the streets running the second they bloomed, barreling past those who fled in fear of blazing death; a few of their progress came to a screeching halt as they made it to the edge of the crisis. It was worse up close. The slums became like a gateway to hell. Blistering flames made the air sting while her eyes watered from smoke. Now was the worst time to be wearing contacts but Carmine would have to endure. After all, this clearly wasn’t an accident. The slums weren’t the most well kept but even she could tell that the fire was spreading abnormally fast. There’s no way Mona did this, right? What would be the point? However, if it wasn’t her then the likelihood of this catastrophe being far more evil in nature was high. Carmine could only think of one group sick enough for it.

Through the flames, several more clones came running out with civilians to hand off to the others.

“Did you see anyone suspicious!?” One asked to another as she took an injured woman.

“No, and all I’ve heard is fire, sirens and people. I’m going back in.”

They both nodded, carrying out their job. As one of them went back towards a the flames, she heard a voice yell.

“Carmine!” It cried out from her right.

Petals blew by, sweeping her feet off the ground and away from fall debris. The girl looked at both her arms, feeling the grip of her mother on them.

Ruby breathed in relief. “Stay sharp.”

Carmine shook her off. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just a clone! There’s people still in there.”

“I know and less of you means less saved, so stay sharp.” Ruby emphasized. “Where’s the real you?”

“On her way.”

“Let her know to not show up.”

“What!? You just said-”

“I know what I said! But I need the real you headed towards the west gate. I’ll stay here and help with the victims. You deal with the panic they bring.”

Carmine’s eyes widened. The west gate leads to near endless dunes and is home to some of Vacou’s most unsavory creatures. Some of those monsters lay in wait on the call of their master. Carmine nodded before turning around, but was quickly held by her wrist.

Ruby turned her back around and stared deep into the gaze she knew her actual daughter could see. “I’m trusting you Carmine. If you see Cinder, Neo…or Dustin, then you call me first and foremost.” Her voice trembled slightly. “Okay?”

xxxxxx

Halfway to the chaos, Carmine stopped her rooftop run. She felt a tightness tug at her chest suddenly as she saw what she needed to see. With a slow yet shaky breath, Carmine steeled herself. She booked it towards the west gate without a moment to lose.

“Understood!” She said with conviction. It wasn’t often the two of them worked together. Carmine was going to make it a good experience. Her blade, Stamen, was brought out as soon as she exited the city. As she crossed over a sand dune, the vast desert greeted her with dozens of scarlet eyes looming in the distance; and they were only beginning to grow in number as they lurked.

“Sorry guys, but you should’ve stayed out of sight!” Carmine stomped down with her right foot and leaped forward, leaving a patch of ten roses where she took off.

Upon landing, she took another leap to advance far right. Again, ten roses were left behind. Carmine stopped advancing after landing to the left, clapping her hands together to manifest two glowing red roses before throwing them up in the air.

“May I have this dance?”

Both roses turned to clones and joined both their hands before crossing their arms to form a cross. Carmine jumped and landed one foot right on their hands as they slingshot her towards the center of the madness. There was no time to be subtle in her approach but she couldn’t abandon safety either. Carmine put her weapon into scythe mode mid flight then spun like a saw, cutting clean through several beowulves upon entry.

Her feet slid across the sand towards four more Grimm she decapitated in one swoop before lunging backwards with her scythe spinning overhead and slashing down into a Taijitu’s head that was ready to strike. A pull of her trigger brought the blade ripping out of the flesh and carving up through the ground to cut a medium sized DeathStalker up the middle. The loud demonic screech from behind made Carmine backflip and land on an attacking Nevermore that was quickly grounded by the two clones stabbing their swords in each wing then landing perched on the respective hilts with guns trained on approaching threats.

Anger, fear, hostility, and more. Carmine kept those emotions at the forefront of her mind to draw the masses of Grimm her way to slow their advance to the kingdom. Meanwhile, the twenty roses in total she left on the outside had fully bloomed into clones that not only held the line of defense, but actually pushed it back aggressively. Inexperienced Grimm weren’t an issue and were quick to rush to their demise, but that wasn’t the case for Sand Dwellers. Those pesky land swimming sharks always loved to pounce when least expected.

“What a pain.” She hissed, minding her footing. Carmine sliced through several more monsters before retreating back onto the pinned Nevermore. Ironically it was the safest spot to sand. Until…

“REEEEEARRRRGH!”

It was like a deafening screech into the night. The cry in return wasn’t any better.

“AAAAEEEEGGHHH!!!!”

Carmine gasped. That was not a Nevermore. Thinking fast, Carmine placed a rose on her scythe and tossed it as hard as she could into the sky. Two ominous arms came slithering out rapidly through the hoard and grabbed Carmine from each side before reeling her in. The girl dug her heels into the sand as she was forcibly getting dragged closer and closer towards a galloping Nucklevee with its horse’s mouth wide open.

Carmine cracked a nervous smirk. “Well if it isn’t my favorite of the trash? Let me get a good look at ya!”

Her scythe came flying down, severing the right arm while a second scythe belonging to the clone cut the left; the benefit of sharing sight went both ways as long as Carmine concentrated. Thankfully getting dragged meant not worrying about moving or searching. Now free, she quickly jumped to avoid the bite, landing on the horse’s armored head to flip over the humanoid body. Carmine grabbed both horns on the way down to yank its head towards the broken moon.

The clone from the sky came tumbling down along the ground, grabbing a scythe along the way and springing up over the horse to deliver a slash that lobbed off the main head to kill it instantly. It would’ve been a brief moment of triumph if teeth didn’t sprout out from the sand around the dying horse she stood and on.

“Shit.”

The jaws of a massive Sand Dweller came chomping, swallowing the Nucklevee and Carmine whole as it shot out of the sand into the sky. As it headed back to the ground to crush its victims under the weight of desert dunes, light gleamed through from its gills. It’s black and white skin turned gray, solidifying into rigid stone that shattered the instant it nose dived to the ground; the entire beast was reduced to rubble with only the girl remaining, her body kneeling with scythe in both hands and glimmering eyes that rivaled the moon’s radiance.

It was beyond risky to remove her contacts, especially in this unknown situation. Even so, it wasn’t much of a choice in this situation. From what she gathered however, so far there wasn’t another soul out here. Time to make good use of that while she could. Carmine slowly reached in her pocket and pressed a button on her scroll before readying herself. The Grimm around her stood on guard, ceasing their overly aggressive behavior as Carmine stood up.

“Don’t get scared now. The fight just started.”

xxxxxx

Ruby continued to successfully evacuate people when her scroll began pinging.

“What is it now!?” She winced, trying to juggle the mess.

Another Carmine clone came by with kids to put in the safe zone. “Don’t worry, I pinged everyone my location.”

“Having trouble?”

“More like I’m not testing my luck.” She points to her eyes, watching Ruby’s jaw open slightly. “Hey, I said I’m fine. There’s just a lot. Where’s dad?”

Ruby got back to helping. “At home guarding your brother and the house in case this attack was meant for us. For hell’s sake, where’s the backup!?” She yelled.

“Calm down!” Carmine kicked down a door for a few people to escape. “They’re-”

“Over here!!” Yelled a familiar voice.

Ruby and the clone looked over their shoulder to see Ilia arrive with firefighters carrying hoses and buckets of water in the area.

“Sorry it took so long. I was helping with moving some ice dust.” She pointed to the rooftops.

From multiple angles, a handful of rose clones with crisp blue tipped hair came charging in and releasing ice from above and inside the blaze while the firefighters worked their way in.

“Ilia, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” Ruby sighed. The base clones and I have already made safer pathways inside. We’ll guide the firemen through them. Can you please help Car-”

“No need.” Ilia flashed a message from her son that was sent several previous minutes before even Carmine pinged everyone. “It’s hard not to see the Grimm approaching where Aero is, or the person confronting them. Help should be there any minute now.”

The clone didn’t know what to think. Looks like she may have been read like a book. Honestly, what was the boy doing, prioritizing her in a situation like this? He better be back to reporting fires.

“Seriously…”

xxxxx

“…What am I going to do with him?” Carmine smiled, staring down a crazed Alpha Beringel among several recently made statues.

The beast leaped into the sky for a ground pound. Carmine was a second away from adding him to the scenery then saw a shadow accompanied by three lights run along the ground. The girl let her gaze soften.

Her body relaxed for a moment as she sighed, “Finally.”

The Beringel reeled its fists back to strike but was greeted with a dive kick in the face by Sun, followed by three clone kicks that sent the ape plummeting into its companions. The man landed with his copies around Carmine in a defensive stance with their staves at the ready.

“Hey kiddo! Having fun?”

“Oh ya know, keeping busy. These guys are lucky they’re dealing with me after a full day of work. I had them on the ropes.”

“Heh, I actually believe that. Your defensive line is holding strong! Take a breath.”

“Okay.” Carmine complied. Physically speaking, she hadn’t taken many hits but that was thanks to the constant strings of attacks. While effective, it didn’t leave much room to catch her breath. With Sun however, that changed. The man went straight to business crushing through armor and providing better spacing. Carmine wasn’t about to play damsel though; not by a long shot. A stomp made five more clones to help him out.

“What happened to taking a breather?”

“This is me breathing.” Carmine didn’t move an inch outside of the circular defense they had made. “I’d feel like shit if I had to tell Aero his dad got hurt saving me after he sent you.”

“Oh? You know about that?”

“Not the hardest thing to figure out. In total, there’s twenty eight rose clones here that were made tonight. Between your clones and the two of us…”

“We have this shit handled.” He gave a thumbs up in her direction. “Save the rest of your aura for yourself. Remember, this isn’t a one man show. The entire kingdom is acting and reinforcements will be here in five minutes at most. All we have to do is keep the pressure on.”

“Pressure is the one thing I’m good at.” Carmine switched back to sword form and kept her eyes keen to any opportunities. Although, what Sun said brought concern. Not a one man show, yet Carmine couldn’t help but wonder if the incident was made by one. If Cinder was part of this, she would’ve been seen by now; that goes for Neo and Dustin too. They wouldn’t have allowed help to come to her, and she could sense no disturbance near the garden at home. It could only make the girl think of one assumption.

“Mona…” she uttered to herself. Whatever this was all about, Carmine hadn’t the foggiest idea. She just knew Mona was going to answer for it. Nothing in Vacou was worth stealing that warranted this level of chaos aside from the Sword of Destruction; and the girl managed to steal that with far less effort and potential casualties. Carmine wanted to ponder more, but the Grimm weren’t going to let her do so easily and attacked.

“Screw it. I’ll think later.” Carmine rejoined the battle.

Everyone from civilians to the civil servants of the kingdom helped to quell this incident and protect their own. What Carmine, Aero, and the other heroes failed to realize was what was longed for has already been stolen away; and it wouldn’t be known until the dust began to settle.

xxxxx

Off at an old abandoned factory, a woman tied to a chair finally had a bag roughly removed from her head so she can stare in the dim eyes she had made long ago.

“Hey sleepyhead. Hope you’re not concussed~” Mona said dryly, spinning a butterfly knife as she stumbled backwards and slid her back down a pillar. “I think we’re overdue for a talk. Ya know, like most mothers to daughters about life.” She stabbed the knife into the floor. “How about we change that?”

[heart4gyu]

friends date || nicholas x reader

note: just a little something i thought of to get me started ^_^ hope y’all like it and suggestions would be rlyy appreciated ! also should i continue this ? pt.2!!

you really never did understand why your friends would tease you two so often, "love birds," they'd say when they found you together. and it always upset you because you didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around you. your relationship was perfect, you'd never met someone more compatible with you and he was your best friend in the whole world... you wouldn't change that for anything.

you had known him since elementary school, he transferred to your school in the middle of grade 2. he was a quiet kid who always kept to himself, he’d never really tried that hard to make any friends either. but you had always noticed how he loved recess, he would beam at just the mention of it. yet when the time came he never ran around screaming like the other kids, instead he liked the old torn up tire swing sitting at the far end of the playground. he wouldn’t even swing on it just lay there and look up at the branches or stare up at his hands that traced things in the air. guess you could say you had always been a people watcher and something about him just caught your attention from the start. “hey what’s your name?” you said abruptly and he sat up on the swing, startled by your sudden appearance. “why are you always alone? and why are you always staring at the tree? what’s up there?” you continued, looking up into the tree as he listened to you go on. “i’m nicholas… and the tree is my friend,” he answered after a while. “the tree can’t be your friend… you should really make some people friends,” you said and he glared at you for a second when suddenly he had an idea. “fine then,” he said jumping off the swing and taking his place right beside you, still staring. “what are you doing?” you asked, backing away. “i’m making a friend,” he replied, a smug little look on his face. and ever since that day he’d follow you around everywhere, around the playground, the classroom, the library, the cafeteria. at first you hated it, and you’d whine to your teacher every day, “teacher, nicholas won’t leave me aloneeee,” you’d say. and she’d separate the two of you, only for him to be right by your side again during the next activity. after a while you got used to it, i mean he wasn’t all bad, he’d bring you snacks and show you interesting books. eventually he’d let you lay on the tire swing next to him and he’d tell you stories about all the people the tree had met. he had a vivid imagination and that was one of your favorite things about him.

the years went by and the two of you only got closer, you knew each other like the back of your own hand. as you became teens and all the other kids spoke about boyfriends and girlfriends, the two of you didn’t change at all. you didn’t feel the need for all that stuff plus you had each other and that was enough. but your friends could never quite let go of the fact that you were basically a couple, yet you couldn’t even fathom it. nicholas, your best friend, and you, a couple? no, no it would never work. all throughout high school you’d always let the teasing slide. by the time you graduated and made it into college, you couldn’t help but wonder what a relationship would be like, what falling in love was like. but no, that wouldn’t work because then you’d have to make time for two important people in your life: nicholas and your significant other. you simply wouldn’t be able to choose between them, still the thoughts of holding someone’s hand and having your first kiss always lingered in the back of your mind…

it wasn’t until your own mom pointed it out that you really noticed it. “mom,” you called out from the kitchen, “i’m leaving in a bit.” “aww, you going on another date?” she said as she walked in, making her way over to the sink. “what? mom, no, i’m just going to hang out with nicholas,” you replied, shaking your head while still looking down at your phone. “you know, it’s called a date when you ‘hang out’ with your boyfriend,” she said, as she dried her hands and turned around to face you. you looked up at her with a puzzled look on your face and she looked just as confused as you. “mom… nicholas isn’t my boyfriend…” you finally replied, and she was shocked. “what do you mean he’s not your boyfriend?!” she said, mouth agape. “he’s my best friend, mother, we’ve known each other since elementary school, how did you not know?!” you asked, just completely taken aback that your own mom would think that. “well i don’t know, you two sure do act like a couple… why not just make him your boyfriend already,” she stated, like if it was the most obvious thing to do. “mom!? i don’t-” you started but were interrupted by a knock at the door. “he’s here” you said grabbing your bag from the counter, “listen i don’t like him like that, so don’t mention a word of this again… like ever.” you opened the door and there he was, he tried to come in and talk to your mom but you were already pushing him out. “bye mom, see you later,” you said as you closed the door, not looking back to see the adoring look your mom had on her face.

[kayleigh-83]

Thanks for tagging me @eulaliasims

1. What’s your favourite sims death? Never thought about having a favourite, maybe the cowplant? Or maybe when death results from something usually mundane like hail or lightning (I’ve had that one).

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Mainly Maxis match, but I think of my style as like 90% MM and 10% semi-realistic (more on the BB side) because I do find the occasional thing that fits in with my style from that aesthetic. And I feel like my style is somewhere between the true Maxis match and the cartoony style.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No? Seems odd!

4. Do you use move objects? Constantly, it’s on more than it’s off. I have an alias set up in my cheat file.

5. Favorite mod? Wow that’s a hard one to narrow down, so I’m gonna choose a few. Based on what has the biggest and most widespread effects, I’d say ACR, Community Lot time, and the whole Traits system (that’s cheating since it’s a million mods but I don’t care lol)

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Would have been the very first pack, so University I guess! When the games came out I was living at home still and my mom played too, so we always got them relatively soon. Uni came out a month or so before my birthday so I suspect I probably got it as a gift that year.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVE as in LIVING, @eulaliasims is 1000% correct.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? So not counting born in game? Sort of a tie but I’ve always been very fond of Joshua and Roxanne Lewis, they were two of Brightmaple’s founders - the first ones I thought up, and first ones I created.

9. Have you made a simself? Yes, in my old neighbourhood, I was a vampire along with the Sim version of my cousin. We lived in a huge Victorian mansion I built where I sent all the vampires in the hood to live.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Brooding, couch potato, good, loves the heat, hopeless romantic

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Don’t really have one I guess.

12. Favorite EA hair? Also don’t really have one lol.

13. Favorite life stage? Probably adult because the most happens, but I also really enjoy toddler which is a hot take in most circles.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Both! The building is fun and a creative outlet for me, but I do it so I can create more immersive and enjoyable worlds to play in too.

15. Are you a CC creator? Yes but on and off, I do it purely for fun and primarily for things I want in my game. So I take long breaks of making nothing at all, when I’m not in the mood.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I wouldn’t really say so? I do chat with people from time to time and have lots of great acquaintances on here! I find it to be a generally very nice community. But I usually find online friendship difficult since I find it harder to read people purely through text with no baseline for knowing them irl, for things like tone of voice/mannerisms/body language and just general vibe.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) Well I think it’s pretty obvious TS2 has ruined all other games for me (not just other Sims games either).

18. Do you have any sims merch? nope

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Actually yes! For speed builds.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Gotten more Maxis match in terms of aesthetic, if you scroll back to like, pre-2017 on my blog you can see that for sure. For play style it’s a lot more structured - pure rotational so ages sync, more wants based, paying a lot more attention to their personalities etc.

21. What’s your Origin ID? I’ve been playing with either the RPC Launcher or a no-CD crack since the day I switched to the UC, so although I do have an Origin ID I’ve literally used it probably twice ever. So no idea!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? There’s too many to pick!

23. How long have you had a simblr? My very first Simblr post was July 31, 2016. Before that I had a bit of a hiatus from playing for a few years, and before that I was on Livejournal/Dreamwidth.

24. How do you edit your pictures? My photo editing program (PSP8) is literally from the era of TS2 itself, which seems appropriate. It’s always worked perfectly well for me - I downloaded Photoshop a couple times but always found doing the same actions clunky and unfamiliar, so I stick with what I know. I adjust curves, saturation, and add a very slight (probably imperceptible) bloom effect. Then I crop in, and I resize by width - meaning my pics are always the same width, but the height varies slightly. I prioritize getting everything into the frame that I want, and don’t really care if the heights are different.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? If I were making up hypothetical TS2 EP’s? I wouldn’t have minded something like Superstar from the Sims 1, having my Sims become famous (if it was done more like OFB/hands on style rather than “off to work in a carpool for the day” style) would have been pretty fun.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? That’s really tough to pick. Probably Seasons (such world building!), Freetime (the hobbies system adds so much depth for me!) or Open For Business (my whole hood has no EA careers and only businesses sooo...) or Pets?? I love my Sims having pets. They’re all so good!

I’m seeing this going around, so please allow me to tag @you if you haven’t been yet and wanna do this!

[a7xbrazilianfans]

On its new year-end edition, Metal Hammer spoke to guitarist Synyster Gates about Avenged Sevenfold's eighth album, "Life Is But A Dream…" that combined hip hop, classic rock, EDM, thrash metal, classic soul and more, with some hailing it as a masterwork and others condemning it as career suicide.

It’s been six months since the release of Life is But a Dream… How do you feel about it now?

Synyster Gates: “I’m beyond proud of it. I don’t listen to it as much as I did, but I still listen to it a lot. I’m excited to get into some other songs to take on the road. It’s still fresh, we haven’t toured that much, we still have a few months off before we announce something…”

Did you have any fear before releasing the album?

Synyster Gates: “I say this knowing it’s not everybody’s cup of tea: you have to write what inspires you. I’m a big Beatles fan and a big Pantera fan. You want to touch people with eclectic taste in music. I have very eclectic tastes, and so I knew that if it touched me, it would touch other people. I knew we were on to something special. You know, The White Album by The Beatles is my favourite-ever album, and we tried to take our album to the next level… for us! I’m not saying this is comparable to The Beatles! Ha ha! We just wrote our greatest collection of songs.”

With an album like this, it’s probably too early to know how it’s going to be thought of in the long run, right?

Synyster Gates: “I think with an album like this, time is on its side. I’ve been using this analogy: both of my parents’ favourite band is The Beatles. My mom hates everything post-sgt. Pepper’s, my dad couldn’t care less about the early stuff. They both still respect the fuck out of it, but it’s not for them. So, for my mom, Sgt. Pepper’s was the death of The Beatles, and I think for a lot of people this is the death of Avenged Sevenfold. But for a lot of other people, it’s a birth. The birth of a different band.”

Have there been any comments you felt were way off the mark?

Synyster Gates: “Funnily enough, I thought it could go either way. We’ve actually had really amazing support from the press, so I don’t want to make people think that we feel like we aren’t supported by the press at all. I actually feel it’s good that it just hasn’t been ignored. Even the bad reviews, people have talked about it. People are still interested in us, so that’s all I could ask for, really. The negative comments, I feel they’re the minority. I think people have been really thoughtful in considering this album.”

Has anyone else from other bands reached out to you about the album?

Synyster Gates: “I can’t name-drop, unfortunately, I’m not that guy to use their names, but, yes, overwhelmingly so. The amount of positive criticisms or even the ‘What the fuck?’… that’s my favourite, people calling me up and going, ‘What the fuck did you do? What were you listening to? Where did this come from?’ I love that. We’ve definitely had more of that here than from any other record.” You’ve been touring the States.

How challenging has it been to integrate the new material?

Synyster Gates: “Well, there’s a lot of programming, because the new album is essentially a hip hop album in regard to the tracks and different things. The guitars have to change on a dime. It took six months to program the show, it took six months to create the visuals. We just have to get our setlist in order and see whatever bells and whistles we can add.”

Was it hard to choose the setlist, knowing what to take out and add in, and make it flow cohesively?

Synyster Gates: “Actually, no. We were all on the same page. We wanted to do a lot of new material, we don’t want to be a novelty, legacy act. We see the vision. If the album had flopped and fans had completely hated it then we wouldn’t have buttfucked them. But we can see the passion and I feel like we’re on the same page.”

Which young bands remind you of Avenged?

Synyster Gates: “Kim Dracula, they’re fearless. Their ability to just be themselves and their confidence, it’s mind-blowing. I’m sure you’re going to see a really unique career there. A personal favourite of mine is 100 gecs – Jesus, they’ve just turned music upside down. I was toast after this record – no more new music, maybe I could think about a new song in five years. Then their album came out just before we released our record and I was like, ‘Hey Matt, wanna go write some crazy shit?’ They completely re-energised me. We’re not planning anything new, but it gets you excited.”

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

Holiday Films and Romantic Heroes

OR…George Bailey Has Big Shoes to Fill, But J Can Do It

I never know what to get J for Christmas. He’s a hard man to shop for. It gives me anxiety. Because he deserves to be lavishly celebrated, but…I don’t know how to do that properly, I guess.

Gift giving for J is kind of intimidating, because, in my life, J’s the best person who’s ever been born. I know…people who actually read the stuff I post know we have a son, and I’m supposed to say that our son is the best person to ever be born. I get it. Of COURSE I love our son to absolute pieces. I love him on a cellular level. I love every neuron in his brain and every blood cell pumping through his veins. I’d gladly and without hesitation lay down all my cells for any of his. But I loved J like that FIRST, and without that consuming love for J, there would be no Boy. The Boy is the best *gift* J ever gave me. And he was even born immediately before Christmas. We brought him home from the hospital on Christmas Eve. Again…I know. I’m a modern feminist. I don’t think women should be pigeon-holed by or glorified for motherhood, and not everyone wants to be a parent, but I DID and DO. I know women aren’t defined by the number of children they have (or don’t have), and a huge number of women parent solo, some by choice, not circumstance. But being a mom is important to me, personally, and I know it’s something that wouldn’t have happened for me without J. I never trusted anyone else enough to have sex with them, much less embark on a decades long partnership involving another human life, and I know it’s not something I’d have ever considered choosing to do by myself.

J has given and continues to give me…jeez…everything. When I was a little girl, I wanted a dog so badly I dragged a plush dog around for years, pretending it was real. I even wrote a little ‘theme’ at school in the second grade about My Dog (my stuffie) that was so convincing my teacher mentioned it to my mom on parent/teacher night. ‘Boy, she really loves her dog.’ My mom revealed it was just a stuffed animal, and my teacher was stunned. I begged my parents incessantly, always hearing 'no.’ When J and I got married and moved to our current home, I mentioned that I’d always wanted a dog. (One of the reasons for 'no’ when I was a kid was that we lived in an apartment. I asked again when we lived in a house with a fenced in yard…my parents still said no).

J: You want a dog? I’ll get you one.

He was on PetFinder within the next five minutes. We had our rescue pupper dog 6 weeks after we bought the house.

J’s given me unconditional acceptance of my quirks and kinks and flaws, and has helped me better myself. I’m physically in better shape, I’m less afraid in general and my panic attacks are fewer and farther between. I’m happier, more confident, more comfortable socially, and I feel more attractive. He’s given me financial independence…a product of his hard work, ingenuity, and sacrifice, not inherited wealth or blind luck. He gave me the child I always wanted, the home I always wanted, the dog I always wanted, the relationship loyalty and security I always wanted, the family I always wanted, plus about a million other smaller things. And he doesn’t even ask for any credit for it.

Anyway, I’ve seen this survey question floating around online: 'Which fictional couple would you compare yourselves to?’ I’ve seen a lot of good answers. Hank and Peggy Hill (ha!), Gomez and Morticia Addams, Meredith Grey and Derek Shepard from Grey’s Anatomy, Harry and Sally from When Harry Met Sally, Archie and Edith Bunker from All in the Family…

I’d say J and I are more like George and Mary Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life.

(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love that scene!) It’s a romantic movie, not just a holiday film. Trust me. It’s actually probably my favorite love story in film. And J is that kind of romantic hero. He’s so kind and selfless and always does the right thing and helps other people, even when it involves a forfeit of what he wanted for himself. He’s that quiet, unsung hero in real life. He asks me what I want and works hard to make it happen, whether that’s his own giving nature and determination, or encouraging me and helping to hold me accountable to achieve my own goals. I don’t normally ask for or want to do anything too crazy, but J will still help me get whatever it is with little, if any, regard for how wildly irrational it might be.

And me? Well…you know that scene where Clarence is showing George how things are because he’d never been born, and George asks for Mary, and Clarence says, 'You’re not gonna like it George…’ and they find her and she’s a fearful, solitary, pathologically reclusive librarian whose entire life is her work? Not that there’s anything wrong with fearful, solitary, pathologically reclusive librarians whose entire lives are their work if that’s what they want out of life, but that’s not the life I wanted for myself. I am **convinced** that would be me without J. J gave me the **life** I always wanted.

So I get anxiety every year around Christmas, because I don’t know what to do for him. How to show enough appreciation and gratitude to him. I feel overwhelmed with those feelings every day, but especially on gift giving occasions.  He’s given me all of this…he’s made literal dreams and fantasies come true for me. Getting him some car accessory or renewing his subscription to American Motorcyclist seems dreadfully inadequate. And the one way J is NOT like George Bailey is that he’s never in any kind of big trouble I could save him from, so…I can’t even plagiarize the movie. All I have is a bunch of sappy (but heartfelt and TRUE) words. And imperfect me.

I love J beyond all rhyme and reason. I’m so, so happy and grateful he was born, and that I get to be his wife. He’s my romantic hero. He’s my leading man. Thank you, J, for my wonderful life. It IS a wonderful life.

[aweirdfuckingguy]

The rooftop is where I daydream of being. I had (have) a plan. A plan for my last day, feeling chill fall air brush against my skin as I study the night sky above me. Last day hearing the dry leaves tumble in the wind. An undisturbed final night, perfect and serene. I have been asked what would I miss about life. Honestly? Nothing. I’m excited to finally rest. To finally allow my brain to stop, sit, and bask in eternal peace and quiet. Something my mind doesn’t have the ability to do. I was going to need: a pack of cigarettes, alcohol, tape, plastic bag, a knife, my earbuds, and my phone.

When I was younger, I imagined I would send out personal letters to the closest people in my life. When I attempted often in the past. I would write out letters to my mom, dad, and little brother. The themes were recurring.

Mom, I love you. You were the best mom a kid could ask for. I know you will get this in time if you haven’t now, this isn’t on you. This has nothing to do with you. You have been an astonishing parent and I am deeply thankful for every second I have spent with you. I love you so much, I’m sorry for not being strong enough to persevere.

Dillon, I love you more than you will ever know. Live for me. I wasn’t strong enough to

go on but I love you and miss you already. I’m sorry I had to leave. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better big brother. I’m sorry for letting you down and not being what you needed. I want you to live on, enjoy your life, don’t let your past consume you the way I let mine. Have fun dude, I love you. If there is an afterlife, I’ll be there waiting to hug you again.

Dad, I don’t love you. I’m sick of lying to you every time I say those three cursed words. I’m not going to waste any more of my words explaining why I hate you. I have tried and you choose not to listen. Just know I wouldn’t have killed myself if you weren’t such a shitty dad. I resent you. Always have, and even now, I’m killing myself because of your impact on me. Sit in it. My final words to you are, go fuck yourself.

I wrote those just now, imagine these three paragraphs in multiple iterations in a messy kid-like manner. I started writing suicide letters when I was thirteen.

The plan, it is a fight everyday not to do it. Some days I’m stronger than others. Sometimes I give in a little and cut my wrist just to see the blood and feel the pain. A fucked up way of reminding myself that I am alive. I described it to someone once as it feels as though there’s a deep pit inside me. No matter what I fill it with—therapy, friends, medications, art, weed, alcohol; I’m still deeply miserable. People say, “You just have to push through!” What if I’m sick of pushing through? What I hear and see that sentence for what it is, a distraction from the inevitable. I am sick of distractions. I can’t escape my childhood and the mental torture I’ve gotten from it and myself.

I have been going to therapy since I was thirteen. Desperately searching for answers as to why my dad is such an asshole. Why I hate and blame myself for everything. Now I at least know why. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. So, I at least know why it’s so hard for me to move past what damaged me the most. I have a medical difference. Recently my therapist keeps telling me to quit my vices. What if I just need to work through it? What if I just want someone to listen?

I tried searching for a deeper connection by dating. To find someone who feels fucked up as me but we both try to get through it together. It’s been weird..and hard. I second guess every text I type. Wondering if he hates me over a text. A joke that I over think and decide it’s stupid. My heart leaps when he replies. I miss him. I feel like I fucked up with him though…so I feel alone. Again. And all I keep thinking to myself is…I can’t keep doing this.

[ruminate88]

Life after emotional abuse - 07/07/24:

What a crazy but very busy and eventful week I’ve had. My husband has been off all week with vacation time but we didn’t get to go on vacation. He cries that we never have money but yet he spent it this week doing local stuff as if we’re rich lol confusing… my trust with him as been better this week but still not perfect. The other night I actually felt super connected to him and I haven’t felt that way AT ALL pretty much since I met him 😩😭 I’ve struggled for sure.

I had JUST walked away from Andrew when I met my husband, I was not completely over Andrew or healed whatsoever. I married my husband when the wounds are very fresh and I am completely in the dark about my self and the abuse or trauma. I thought I had forgiven Andrew and that I was going to leave him alone and move on…. I did physically move on but I could not stop thinking of Andrew at all 😓 was shameful!

since I’ve gotten married, my nervous system recognizes everything is okay but like every time I am triggered, it all acts up again. I have many days I fight to digest my food or have any energy. I have pushed and pushed myself to get better. I’m taking all kinds of vitamins now and I drink soooo much coffee hoping to get up off the couch and walk across the floor. This week pushed me beyond my limits.

another issue I realize I need to work on is “decision making” wow last night my husband was sooooo frustrated with me cuz we’re at this fare by his parents house and there’s different food trucks to choose from. My husband got frustrated cuz I can’t decide what to get. I wanted him to decide for me and he hates that. I just don’t know what I want 😓 I don’t wanna ask for anything from him and I feel bad he’s spent so much money on me this week but it’s his love language. My husband likes to buy me things or buy me food. Ugh, it’s not my love language AT ALL it’s sometimes just a bothersome cuz why can’t you just hug me and tell me you love me?? Why you gotta buy me food instead? lol well, eventually I chose ice cream and my husband was like “ok, finally….” And he let me get whatever I wanted. I think he was annoyed cuz he doesn’t care what I ask for, he will let me have it and he doesn’t care what it cost but I do!!!

I’ve never had a boyfriend ever buy me stuff before… my very first boyfriend Stewart was homeless. I was only 18 and Stewart made me feel sorry for him cuz at one point him and his mom lived in their car…. (So he said) Stewart never had money and wouldn’t hold down a job, so I paid for everything we did!!!! So to be the taking care of everyone, to now my husband wants to take care of me, wow. Mind blown 🤯 I don’t feel worthy or deserving of such love and respect but I am trying not to take it for granted or hurt my husband. I feel so much guilt every time my brain fixates and ruminates over Andrew but I mean, I’m STILL processing and making sense of my past. Having to accept harsh truths about the past.

I know I’m healing, people say I am and I’ve done well, as far as I do not Google Andrew or anything like that. I will get past all this at some point. Idk why decision making is so hard for me, I just idk I’ve never had a good man like I do now and I am constantly convincing myself he’s my soulmate and that we complement each other and are meant to be 🥰🥺 now if I could stop searching for Andrew everywhere I go ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 why do I have to convince myself so hard? Why do I have to force myself to feel, to connect and to trust?? Is it really from all my exes gaslighting me? 😔