#no gorgug unfortunately

[deconstructthesoup]

While at the con, I met:

4 Adaines (5, if I include myself)

4 Kristens

4 Figs

3 Gilears

1 Fabian (who led us in a rendition of the Wenis)

1 Riz (who had to leave early)

1 Sandralynn

And 1 Jennifer Drips who was a bit late to the party

[septembersart]

sisters moments + a fig & gorgug!

[brennan-lee-mother]

Jawbone finds out Fabian's parent left him alone in Seacaster Manor and insists he move into Mordred. He's collecting Bad Kids like Pokemon cards. The way he can still get Riz eventhough his parent doesn't suck is by getting Sklonda into the parent polycule.

[ewwww-what]

I mean??? That’s one way to get him to stop picking on you I guess?????

[bebagerie]

I was convinced to watch D20 and I’ve only just finished Fantasy High s1 but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted

[smolandweirdwriter]

oh let me tell u i am so normal about adaine so here have a collection of some of my headcanons (that i can remember)

adaine starts dressing more "punk" in a sense because she lives with fig (totally not cause shes trying to remove herself from her goody two shoes appearance that her parents knew)

I also think this comes out of necessity as she doesnt have the money to buy new clothes if they get damaged so ends up sowing patches onto her clothes.

Adaine is the second tallest bad kid (after gorgug) at 5'11 simply because fabian is 5'10 and claims hes 6'0 (adaine is having none of it)

Adaine and tracker are still really close even after kristens breakup

She also has chronic fatigue which did not help her anxiety attacks. for most of her life she just believed she was lazy and not trying hard enough due to her parents thinking she was making excuses

Fig realizes at the beginning of Sophomore year that she really, really likes fun colors. She’s sick of all black. She wears bright red skirts and t-shirts of all colors and she smokes her cigarettes and dyes her hair and paints her nails pale pink and is uniquely, wildly, entirely herself. She doesn’t limit herself to a “rocker aesthetic”. Isn’t the whole point of rebellion to be you? 

Adaine’s style has changed so much. Partway through freshman year, she begins dressing as defiantly as possible. Whatever her parents would hate the most, Adaine wears. She borrows Fig’s clothes, which tend to be a bit too short and tight on her, but it’s all black with a leather skirt and ripped fishnets and her mother calls her a slut and her father forces her to go back to her room and change. Aelwyn mocks her for it over breakfast and Adaine stares at her food and doesn't wear fishnets or crop tops again.

(Aelwyn sneaks out that night wearing a similar outfit because she knows what her parents would say and the idea of the look on her mother's face being pointed at her is enough to terrify her to the point of nausea, and she drinks and drinks and drinks until she forgets to be afraid.)

Still, Adaine's style keeps changing. Sophomore Year it's mostly her Jacket of Useful things, t-shirts, and jeans. But as much as she hated being forced to wear the Hudol uniform, she really likes nice clothes. Junior Year she begins exploring more elven clothing: long skirts, vests with collared shirts, pleated blouses, breeches, tall boots, et cetera. She, Ayda, and Gorgug work together combining Wizardry and Artificing on her Jacket of Useful Things so that it can effectively transform into any coat/jacket/vest/etc to go with her outfit. It's perfect as her style is constantly shifting on a daily basis. 

This is just my thought on all of their heights, but here we go:

Riz is shortest, obviously. He’s actually average-height for a goblin, resting at about 3’6’’. 

Fig gives severe Tall Vibes, so much so that people forget she’s actually only 5’3’’. She wears boots that bring her up to about 5’5’’, but she’s still the second-shortest bad kid.

No one will let Fabian let down how short he is. He’s tried changing his diet, stretching, everything he can imagine—he’s still 5’4’’. It’s mortifying. Fig fits into his clothes perfectly.

Kristen has always felt somewhat ungainly, her limbs at different shapes and sizes, and she’d crash into things a lot. She’s always felt too much: too tall, too wide, too much, too much, too much. Junior Year she starts working out and begins getting comfortable with her body. Still, she’s tall, almost 5’10’’.

Adaine is quite tall, but her parents and sister are taller than her, and she’s spent her life feeling inescapably small. Her posture is good, but there’s something to the way she tilts her head, the general way she carries herself, hunching around a too-big orb and clutching books to her chest, that makes her look short and small. Sophomore Year, her confidence grows, she becomes more stable, and most importantly, she eats much more. She uncurls herself, and by the time she finds Aelwyn again, Aelwyn is horrified to see that her little sister looms over her. Adaine is 5’11.

Gorgug hunches over a lot, and it’s actually after becoming an Artificer that he gets better with his posture, because he’s sitting a lot more now and his back hurts if he hunches too much. His actual height is 6’5’’. He’s the tallest bad kid.

My personal headcanon is that Tracker also has anxiety and used to “wolf out” whenever she got overwhelmed. So she understands Adaine very well, perhaps better than anyone else. She understands the way Adaine’s anger stems from her fear, from her lack of control. Tracker helps her find the right anxiety meds and teaches her methods of working through and handling feeling overwhelmed.

When the bad kids see Nara and Tracker again in Fallinel, she introduces them all to Nara. “Ah,” Nara says as she and Adaine are introduced, and Adaine tenses for oracle, the daughter who killed Angwyn Abernant, the oracle who ran away, but what she’s met with was: “Tracker’s little sister.”

Adaine never tells Tracker how much it means. She loves Aelwyn, and Aelwyn loves her, but that love is something that has been asked for by both parties. Adaine never realized before that she shouldn't have to ask. 

[sea-buns]

I have yet to see any official Cloaca art so I've just been picturing one of those segmented fidget toys shakily hanging in the air while it gyrates so violently

[zero-1234]

At work rn and all I can think about is how I’m totally goblin catching size. Watch out Riz Gukgak bc you’re like 4’ tall and I’m 5’6 and prepared to catch you

I’ll take you home and cook you a home cooked meal and make you sleep and then eat you probably idk

[gorgugplushie]

LUCY ART? HOLY DHIT SHE LOOKS SO CUTE OH MY GOD

[severalrodentsdrinkingtea]

There’s something so funny to me that Fabian “Maximum Legend” Seacaster—aka the Coolest Kid in School—has had sex exactly 1 (one) time and it wasn’t even that great (unfortunate 4) while Gorgug Thistlespring, the awkward half orc raised by gnomes who brought a tin flower to the first day of school and made a featherless bird homunculus named Cloaca, absolutely FUCKS.

Sources:

First kiss with Ragh, in the middle of killing a dragon

Two year steady relationship with a satyr whose family worships a god of revelry

Year long (!) situationship with Unit

Hooks up with (basically) his nemesis not even a week after she is resurrected and redeemed after dissolving her and all of her friends in lava

[real-elias-hodge]

porter not approving gorgug’s multiclass request is so heartbreaking and so accurate to the way the school system actually works. so much focus is put on academics to the point where students aren’t allowed to participate in extracurricular activities if their academics suffer, even though some of those students have no desire to further their education through the traditional route. classic higher education institutions aren’t the only path available, there’s trade school and becoming an athlete and starting your own business along with countless other possibilities that aren’t being presented to students because schools are granted resources based on standardized testing scores. in gorgug’s case, his advisor isn’t letting him participate in something that he shows genuine interest and aptitude in simply because he doesnt feel as though gorgug is doing well enough in the pathway that he chose when he was likely at the end of middle school. people grow and change and unfortunately, both in real life and in elmville, the public school system is set up to push you towards one path that may not be right for you.

[thelesbianluthor]

So we were blessed with Margaret Encino, got to see Amanda Maillard in action and also had a little Kristen in the end.

We witnessed the incredibly quick first date to marriage pipeline of Cody "Night Angel" Walsh and the quangled Loose (Duke) Baron from the Baronies.

Fig tried her best to propose and be the one to marry Ayda and even sent her an 80 minutes proposal album. She was only stopped by the unfortunate reality of not being of age.

Gorgug was having a not very good day as usual but at least he got it easier than Fabian last time so there's that!

Adaine and Pinocchio were mostly chilling and having a great time even with the weird circumstances all around.

Love how the more we quangle the more crack pairing and alternate universe ships we get. Sklonda and Sandra Lynn are canon in another universe and that's wonderful really

The more we go on the weirder and more insane the quangles get I swear and I love it immensely

[slumbering-shadows]

Can you imagine the mortification of all of your friends now having to help you battle your parents' weird sex machines. in highschool? Gorgug will unfortunately never be able to live this down. 20 years later kristen can just turn to gorgug and say "lawnmower" and he will take 2d8 psychic damage immediately

[valdrinorm]

damn, that was crazy, anyway, secret sylvan :)

from adaine to fabian, pipes of the sewers.

extremely targeted behavior from adaine. important to note that while you can summon rats to you, the rats are not under your control once they arrive.

from fabian to adaine, an earworm.

useful, but highly insane. i can't quite figure out what the daelkyrs are doing with the information gathered but it's probably... fine? on-brand for fabian to skim the fine print.

from fig to kristen, an immovable rod pull-up bar.

enables some extremely funny evasion techniques. *kristen affixing her immovable rod in mid-air during a difficult conversation* "hold on i gotta get a few reps in real quick"

from kristen to riz, bracers of defense.

very solid item. unfortunately they make riz look like a batman villain.

from riz to gorgug, a potion of fire giant strength.

apparently this comes in a can, which makes me pretty sure it's just an energy drink.

and finally from gorgug to fig, a mask of the beast.

styled after an orangutan, but sadly this is as much as it does to make the wearer look like one.

[deconstructthesoup]

Personal Ranking of the Fantasy High Moms, From Worst to Best:

Arianwen Abernant: -19999/10. She's not as bad as Angwyn, since she's convinced herself she's a good mother, but her "I just want the best for you" shtick isn't any better, and the fact that she's ignorant about how horrible she is doesn't make up for years of neglect. And she also attempted to rope her daughters into raising a being of pure nightmares because she lost her status, so.

Donna Applebees: 0/10. Conservative, racist, judgmental, only loves her kids conditionally... you get the gist. Also, she's absolutely a Karen.

Hallariel Seacaster: 3/10. Yes, I know, she's a MILF, she's got such an iconic vibe, she's a badass with a sword, but none of that excuses years of being emotionally absent from your son's life. She's not a bad person, but she unfortunately doesn't know how to be a mom. Sorry, Hallariel. I wish I could rank you higher.

The Last Phoenix: 5/10. Bird. She's a bird. We don't know enough about her except for the fact that she is the last phoenix, she started out as a "haha Arthur Aguefort is a crazy motherfucker" gag, and she gave us the incredible gift that is Ayda. I cannot rank her fairly, but given that she is Ayda's mom, she goes on the list.

Roz Last-Name-Unknown: 6/10. Same deal with Gorbag---we don't know enough about her for me to properly rank her, but we do know that she was a teen mom, and she's made the choice to reconnect with her son and be in his life. Props for that.

Sandralynn Faeth: 7.5/10. I am ranking her realistically, but let it be known that I love her so much. She is such a beautiful example of a flawed person who consistently tries to be better, and even though she does relapse into old behaviors, she's still growing---and outside of the serial cheating (that is a response to trauma, by the way) and occasional lapses in social skills, she's a pretty damn good mom, all things considered.

Cathilda Ceili: 8/10. She's the parent that Fabian needed, even if he didn't always realize it. She's sweet, she's caring, and if anybody hurts her boy, she will fucking rock your shit. (Also, the reveal of Cathilda being an incredibly fearsome and ruthless pirate outside of Solace was one of my favorites.)

Wilma Thistlespring: 9/10. She's a caring and supportive mom who writes songs, is sex-positive, and loves her son! Again, she does need to recognize when she's embarrassing Gorgug, and she needs to recognize that he's gotta learn how to be angry, but still! We all love her!

Lydia Barkrock: 9.6/10. While she doesn't quite get the full score due to the fact that her son was briefly an ass, it clearly was not her fault, and from what we've seen of her, she is a fantastic mom. She's a badass disabled powerhouse who cooks incredible spreads and cares about her son and his friends a lot. I love her a lot. She's amazing.

Sklonda Gukgak: 10/10. She took that spot in her very first scene, where she poured water in her cereal so Riz could have milk in his, and she's been holding it up ever since. Despite the fact that she's constantly swamped with work, Sklonda is literally one of the best moms you could ever ask for. She deserves the world and it's a constant injustice that she's not getting it.

Bonus: Garthy O'Brien, while having transcended gender and therefore not being able to fit into either of the "mom/dad" rankings, is an 11/10 parent---not just to Ayda, but to everyone younger than them who they've essentially adopted. Words cannot express my adoration for this person.

[skuttlespringg]

can we just think about how skuttlespring, even though the communication might be kinda few and far between, would definitely have much better communication and understanding than zelgug? dont get me wrong i loved zelgug but riddled w anxiety x riddled w anxiety is a recipe for bad relationship unfortunately. and we know mary ann will tell you how she's feeling straight up. lowkey i hated it at first but im a huge fan rn. at least let gorgug have this for summer/senior yr and then go to college w ragh and then gorragh duhhh :3 it was always gonna end like this