#no gods for drowning
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Wait I just finished No Gods For Drowning through @queerliblib and HOLY FUCK??? HOLY FUCK??????????
God... If you ever need a story that's dark but ends in HOPE (and is so unabashedly queer) definitely give it a read!!!!!
#no gods for drowning#god that was so good#im gonna release it early bc other ppl are waiting for it#but it is going to be buzzing in my head for a WHILE#lilac??? arcadia??? cecil???? alex??????#also not that fix-it call out 😭#god.#once I've let it simmer enough i definitely need to reread it#bc given the late reveal about [REDACTED] being the reason for [REDACTED] i NEED to see how close [REDACTED] actually got to noticing
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Why yes I am using the Silt Verses to push propaganda for some of my faves 🤭
If you like TSV for its weirdo eldritch gods and cosmic horror most of these would fit.
If you're specifically looking for capitalism-core with a dash of lovecraft type shit The Craft Sequence and The Dead Take the A Train got you.
If you're looking for the Ace/aro Mood while attempting to comprehend the horrors and being persecuted for your creepy fantasy religion try Winter Tide/The Innsmouth Legacy.
You looking for the unhinged queers who do murder in the name of their gods + a middle-aged trans MC who's just trying her best™ No Gods For Drowning might be for you.
Ya like the messed up saints?the body horror?and devastation that the gods in TSV bring? The Black Iron Legacy might do you some good.
Suppressed religions & dangerous gods 2 electric boogaloo aka The Divine Cities. Also got that sweet sweet political intrigue and commentary on colonisers/colonised dynamic among other things.
TWs:violence, death, gore, body horror for most of these. Some sexual references but nothing too graphic, In the Craft Sequence I do remember Three Parts Dead having a non-consenual kiss, can't recall any further SA atm.
I'm bad at explaining but just try them. K thx bye.
#the silt verses#tsv#books#the black iron legacy#the craft sequence#winter tide#the dead take the a train#no gods for drowning#the divine cities#Gareth Hanrahan#max gladstone#ruthanna emrys#robert jackson bennett#Hailey Piper#cassandra khaw#richard kadrey#book recs
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Reading update!
So as you'll see below I've read a lot of books since the last time I did one of these. I'm not going to write a little blurb for all of them, only the ones I feel strongly about. But I'm going to start including my ratings.
Arctic Sun by Annabeth Albert. 4.25/5 stars
Where We Left Off by Roan Parrish. 5/5 stars
Peter Cabot Gets Lost by Cat Sebastian. 5/5 stars
This book was just. So lovely. Short and fast-paced, but I loved Peter and Caleb so much. I love the time period too. I know this is me being toxic and problematic and showing my internalized homophobia or whatever but I actually really like books set in places and time periods where homophobia is a real and present danger. I think it's because I'm totally a Love Conquers All romantic, so the fact that people dgaf and make a go of being together anyway scratches that itch.
Anyway, good book. I picked up the other two in the series but haven't read them yet.
Let's Get Back to the Party by Zak Salih. 4/5 stars
Literature. Good but pretty sad.
No Gods For Drowning by Hailey Piper. 3/5 stars
The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas. DNF
I got 50 pages in before I gave into my hate and DNFed this.
The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley. 5/5 stars
I find it genuinely upsetting that Natasha Pulley isn't a household name, because she writes the most beautiful, gutting books that I have maybe ever read. I don't understand how she's able to write what is, on the surface, a completely mundane sentence, and yet there's this roiling sea of heartbreak underneath it.
This is the sequel to The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, easily one of the best books I've ever read, and this one is at least as good.
Natural Enemies by Roan Parrish. 4/5 stars
Us by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy. 3.75/5 stars
Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh. 5/5 stars
Lovely little novella that read like a fairy tale.
The Prince's Poisoned Vow by Hailey Turner. 4.25/5 stars
At first I despaired of ever learning who all the characters were in this book because the first like, 10 chapters were all from a different POV, but I got a handle on all of them and liked it a lot.
Spectred Isle by KJ Charles. 4.75/5 stars
Un Lun Dun by China Miéville. DNF
This is the book that made me realize I hate whimsical books.
Here the Whole Time by Vitor Martins. 4/5 stars
The Lightning-Struck Heart by TJ Klune. 3/5 stars
I ranted about this one already but Jesus, Klune. This straight up reads like the kind of stuff I wrote when I was like, 14, and I don't mean that as a compliment to my 14 year old self.
Love, Hate & Clickbait by Liz Bowery. 5/5 stars
!!!!! This book was so good!!!! I picked it up way back when it came out but it only surfaced in the TBR pile in March, and it did not let me down. Thom and Clay are SO unlikable, but you start to like them in a way that's practically insidious because you don't see it coming. By the end, I was totally rooting for them and loved them both. And this is a romcom with a truly great villain, too, which definitely isn't standard in romances.
Red Skies Falling by Alex London. 5/5 stars
Second book in a series that revolves around a culture where falconry is hugely important. If you want fantasy that doesn't take place in fantasy England, check this series out. It has an A+ sibling relationship, a lovely romance, and high stakes. But this one was saaaaad ugh so sad.
Less by Andrew Sean Greer. 3.75/5 stars
I hated this book until about 80% through, and then it subverted all my expectations and I ended up liking it okay. I thought it was just about a pathetic middle aged gay white man (I know I know, that's my type, what's the problem?) feeling sorry for himself, but it was deeper than that. And it had a nice ending.
Invitation to the Blues by Roan Parrish. 4/5 stars
Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. 5/5 stars (reread)
Bought this edition for the bonus chapter from Henry's POV and for @vkelleyart's end pages. Totally worth it. I love this book just as much as I did the first time.
Threshold by Jordan L Hawk. 4.25/5 stars
So this is a series with like, 11 books? I read the first one and was kind of eh on it. Good enough to buy the second, not enough to buy all 11 or whatever. But the second one was substantially better, so now I've acquired like 5 more of them. I continue to be a sucker for late 19th century/early 20th century settings.
Lavender House by Lev AC Rosen. 4.5/5 stars
Is gay noir a thing? Because that's what I'm calling this book. Gay noir. I loved the main character and I'm really excited this is going to be a series (I've already preordered the second one). The only reason I knocked off half a star is because some of the side characters were irritating. And as a mystery, it wasn't great, so I wouldn't read this one if you're looking for a really good mystery. It's definitely more about the character development and the relationships.
Though possibly one reason I didn't think the mystery was that good is because it got spoiled for me on tumblr by someone who imo had a pretty shallow read on the book. Honestly not sure if they actually read it or they just skimmed it.
Something Wild & Wonderful by Anita Kelly. 5/5 stars
AHHH. THIS BOOK!! This book was so good. So I've been making fun of it for a while because if you look at the cover, it looks like a Stucky AU. And you know what, maybe it was, but at least it didn't read that way, lol. It was really lovely and I'll be using it as a comp for the manuscript I finished last week.
The Bedlam Stacks by Natasha Pulley. 5/5 stars
I don't even have anything else to say except that you need to read Natasha Pulley's books. Please. If you're reading this post, go get her books. Buy them, take them out of the library, whatever. Do it.
Work for It by Talia Hibbert. 4.25/5 stars
A Tree of Bones by Gemma Files. 4.5/5 stars
Any Old Diamonds by KJ Charles. 5/5 stars
Something happened in this book that made me close it and stare into the middle distance, then put it aside until I could process.
Anyway you should definitely read it.
Farview by Kim Fielding. 4/5 stars
Whistling in the Dark by Tamara Allen. 4.25/5 stars
Currently reading The Restless Dark by Erica Waters
Which I'm enjoying more than I thought I would!
#natasha pulley#the bedlam stacks#the lost future of pepperharrow#arctic sun#annabeth albert#where we left off#roan parrish#peter cabot gets lost#cat sebastian#something wild and wonderful#kj charles#let's get back to the party#zak salih#no gods for drowning#hailey piper#the sunbearer trials#aiden thomas#natural enemies#us#sarina bowen#elle kennedy#silver in the wood#emily tesh#the prince's poisoned vow#hailey turner#spectred isle#reading tag#un lun dun#china mieville#here the whole time
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No Gods for Drowning by Hailey Piper
goodreads
The old gods have fled, and the monsters they had kept at bay for centuries now threaten to drown the city of Valentine, hunting mankind as in ancient times. In the midst of the chaos, a serial killer has begun ritually sacrificing victims, their bodies strewn throughout the city.
Lilac Antonis wants to stop the impending destruction of her city by summoning her mother, a blood god—even if she has to slit a few throats to do it. But evading her lover Arcadia and her friends means sneaking, lying, and even spilling the blood of people she loves.
Alex and Cecil of Ace Investigations have been tasked with hunting down the killer, but as they close in—not knowing they're hunting their close friend Lilac—the detectives realize the gods may not have left willingly.
As flooding drags this city of cars and neon screaming into the jaws of sea demons and Arcadia struggles to save the people as captain of the evacuation team, Lilac’s ritual killings at last bear fruit, only to reveal her as a small piece in a larger plan. The gods’ protection costs far more than anyone has ever known, and Alex and Cecil are running out of time to discover the true culprit behind the gods’ disappearance before an ancient divine murder plot destroys them all.
Mod opinion: I haven't read this book yet, but it is on my tbr and I'm hoping to get around to it soon.
#no gods for drowning#hailey piper#polls#trans books#trans lit#trans literature#lgbt books#lgbt lit#lgbt literature#fantasy#horror#trans woman#own voices#to read
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No Gods For Drowning by Hailey Piper
IN THE BEGINNING, MAN WAS PREY.
WITHOUT THE GODS, THEY'LL BE PREY AGAIN
The old gods have fled, and the monsters they had kept at bay for centuries now threaten to drown the city of Valentine, hunting mankind as in ancient times. In the midst of the chaos, a serial killer has begun ritually sacrificing victims, their bodies strewn throughout the city.
Lilac Antonis wants to stop the impending destruction of her city by summoning her mother, a blood god—even if she has to slit a few throats to do it. But evading her lover Arcadia and her friends means sneaking, lying, and even spilling the blood of people she loves.
Alex and Cecil of Ace Investigations have been tasked with hunting down the killer, but as they close in—not knowing they're hunting their close friend Lilac—the detectives realize the gods may not have left willingly.
As flooding drags this city of cars and neon screaming into the jaws of sea demons and Arcadia struggles to save the people as captain of the evacuation team, Lilac’s ritual killings at last bear fruit, only to reveal her as a small piece in a larger plan. The gods’ protection costs far more than anyone has ever known, and Alex and Cecil are running out of time to discover the true culprit behind the gods’ disappearance before an ancient divine murder plot destroys them all.
Set in an alternate reality which updates mythology to near-modern day, No Gods For Drowning is part dark fantasy, part noir detective story, and unlike anything you've read before, from an author whose imagination knows no boundaries.
#no gods for drowning#hailey piper#transfem#trans book of the day#trans books#queer books#bookblr#booklr
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No Gods for Drowning by Hailey Piper
Today's sapphic book of the day is No Gods for Drowning by Hailey Piper!
Summary: "IN THE BEGINNING, MAN WAS PREY.
WITHOUT THE GODS, THEY'LL BE PREY AGAIN.
The old gods have fled, and the monsters they had kept at bay for centuries now threaten to drown the city of Valentine, hunting mankind as in ancient times. In the midst of the chaos, a serial killer has begun ritually sacrificing victims, their bodies strewn throughout the city.
Lilac Antonis wants to stop the impending destruction of her city by summoning her mother, a blood god—even if she has to slit a few throats to do it. But evading her lover Arcadia and her friends means sneaking, lying, and even spilling the blood of people she loves.
Alex and Cecil of Ace Investigations have been tasked with hunting down the killer, but as they close in—not knowing they're hunting their close friend Lilac—the detectives realize the gods may not have left willingly.
As flooding drags this city of cars and neon screaming into the jaws of sea demons and Arcadia struggles to save the people as captain of the evacuation team, Lilac’s ritual killings at last bear fruit, only to reveal her as a small piece in a larger plan. The gods’ protection costs far more than anyone has ever known, and Alex and Cecil are running out of time to discover the true culprit behind the gods’ disappearance before an ancient divine murder plot destroys them all.
Set in an alternate reality which updates mythology to near-modern day, NO GODS FOR DROWNING is part hunt for a serial killer, part noir detective story, and unlike anything you’ve ever read before."
#bisexual#bi#lesbian#trans#transgender#sapphic#wlw#queer#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbt#books#book recs#book recommendations#booklr#horror#fantasy#no gods for drowning#hailey piper
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@funneylizzie got me in that Casey Jones Jr brainrot and I haven't known peace since
#my art#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rise donnie#rise april#rise casey#casey jones#casey jones jr#if anyone needs me im gonna be drowning over here#rotting my brain out with this wayward kid#and his adoptive dad#GOD i just love them so much#this post is specifically for lizzie#but also mostly for me#any rise fans still out there pls talk to me about baby casey jones#i have so many thoughts#rottmnt casey jr#rottmnt casey jones jr#rottmnt future leo
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Reading "No Gods for Drowning" and I think one of the 4 leads (Arcadia) is trans. It's a subtle couple lines that made me think this, I had a feeling there was something about her not quite in line with everyone around her. That said, it could be something else entirely since this is a fantasy-horror-mystery novel.
Hoping the author never confirms one way or the other though and let's the audience see what we need to in her. She's an incredibly complex character regardless and I adore her.
Mind you I'm maybe half way through so we shall see what's what soon enough. Can definitely see myself reading more by the author in the future.
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one day, in a thousand years
#I THINK I HAUVE COVID#oh to meet your love after a thousand years at a museum exhibit of your past lives#thinking about them makes me so sick so ILL DISEASED#I AM NOT IMMUNE#spc i’m cursing u forever for this wtf. WTF bro wtf#ouyang’s last thoughts were a desperate plea for esen to wait for him.#he has NEVER called him by first name he has NEVER asked him anything#and his last thought is asking him to wait#and esen does. bc he would have given ouyang anything he asked for#god i hope u get rawed so good it makes up for all the lost lifetimes u earned it#he who drowned the world#she who became the sun#the radiant emperor#general ouyang#esen-temur#(zhu also present in the golden imperial dragon and the golden light of gayness that brought them together again)#my art#not super proud of how it turned out tbh tbh it looks better in my head 😔😔#would’ve stayed in the drafts if not for my need to feed this 4 ppl fandom#and if not for robin motivation nfngdjfb ty kissa you forever#id in alt text
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Ineffability is just some bullshit God came up with to hide the fact that Their plans are stupid
#some angel just goes ‘hey Almighty maybe you didn’t have to drown the humans?’#and God’s just like ‘you just don’t UNDERSTAND I’m gonna put up a rainbow!’#good omens
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Day 3 of our sailing voyage, somewhere off the coast of Long Island— I had a little friend with me at the helm. He stayed on our mainsail boom long enough to dry his feathers, and then flew off to wherever he was going.
#tumblr user leftenantjopson thinks he may be a soul of a dead sailor#but I think it takes a God with a real sense of humor to bring a drowned sailor back as the only seabird without waterproof feathers#cormorant#seabird#sailing#seabirds#tall ship sailing#pride of baltimore ii#pride of baltimore#tall ship#sailing ship#privateer#age of sail#nautical#maritime#19th century#tales from the sea
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Etho looks down quietly at his basket, making sure everything he needs is inside. He knows it is best to only make one trip down to the water. The water is treacherous. He is strong enough to withstand it, but of course, everyone who ever drowned thinks they're strong enough until their lungs are bursting. So. He double checks. He makes sure.
He has a week's worth of laundry. Some dishes he needs sand from the river to scour. A bucket, so he won't have to make this trip for another few days. There are a few pieces of leather armor in need of a quick rinse before they're polished. Also, he's thirsty. He tries not to drink his rain water. He needs it to last.
Finally, Etho belts on his sword, hefts the basket over one shoulder, and the empty bucket with his free hand. He looks to the short path that leads down to the dock. The water is blue as the diamond sky above, edged in gold from the slowly gathering sunset. Birds are singing. Breeze whispers through the willow branches and cattails. Across the river, a small herd of deer is moving through the rushes. One breaks apart from the others to drink. Etho sighs out a long breath, steels himself, and walks down the trail.
The water is cursed. Very few people still come to the river for chores. Most only dare to run down for a few buckets of water when the well is running dry.
_____
When Tango saw him gathering his things earlier, he'd shaken his head and made a warding gesture with his hand. Protection. For himself. For Etho. Or just to ward away the idea of evil.
"Scream, I guess," Tango had told him. "I doubt we'll make it in time, but yanno, we'll know what happened."
Etho had only offered a tense smile behind his mask. Everyone would know what happened, scream or not.
"I'll be fine," Etho said. "I've been fine before."
He said it a lot more confidently than he felt, and Tango wasn't reassured. Tango had a good nose for things like that. He sniffed the air, and made the chagrined expression of someone who could smell a coming thunderstorm.
"Yeah. Sure." Tango sniffed again, and then tapped the side of his nose with a knowing finger. "On second thought, maybe save your breath."
_____
Etho walks out onto the dock, his footsteps silent as he can make them. He took his boots off by the dock's edge. They're heavy when they're wet. He sets the basket down gently on the aged wood. He fills the bucket first. In the neat and tidy plan of his habits, he thinks the bucket is the one he least wants to be left last with. It's heavy and cumbersome, and requires leaning over the water's edge. So he fills it, trying to disturb the water as little as possible, and pads back to his boots to set it down gently beside them. Then he's back to his basket, and getting to the louder work, what he know will attract attention.
He grabs a shirt and dunks it into the water, wringing it out a few times before scrubbing it against the dock's edge. Someone nailed a washboard here, probably to make it easier for everyone else who needed to scrub up -- one less cumbersome thing to drag to the riverside. Beside it, Etho can see long scratches in the wood, vanishing off the side. He has large hands, so they don't line up to him, but the unmistakable look of nails scratching, clinging, is recognizable even still. He wonders idly who made them. Probably someone playing, before the water was cursed. Or an animal that swam across the bank and needed help scurrying out.
He is tempted to think it's something more sinister, but he knows better.
The water turns from diamond blue to sunflower yellow, then to blazing orange with rusted and bleeding edges. The herd of deer on the other side of the water wanders off, sated. A fox calls in the wood somewhere, an uncanny, very human scream. The bird calls twitter into silence, replaced by chirping frogsong. Etho wrings out the last of his clothes and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. He checks how far the sun has dipped in the sky, and decides he has an our yet before dark settles in.
With his clothes washed, he sets them back in the basket, neatly folded. They'll wrinkle probably, but when he puts them out on the line, the wind will straighten them out. His knees are sore from kneeling, his back from leaning. His armor will be easier to clean if he can settle in, brace it on his crossed legs.
Etho looks around the water, at the deceptive stillness. It's a slow, lazy river, hardly pushing the water fast enough to put ripples on it. There is one place near the opposite bank where a long shadow stretches from a stone, broken by the reflection of red sunset. It's the kind of image he would expect to see on a lake on a windless day. He's heard before that quiet rivers make for deadly waters, that there is a current in holes in the riverbed that will devour someone.
But Etho isn't in the water. He's on the dock, and the dock is safe. Nothing will drag him off it. Nothing in the water is strong enough. It doesn't have to be. There is some comfort in that, in knowing he can't be devoured against his will. It is why he still comes to the river. It is why he dares. Etho sits back and crosses his legs, bracing his leathers against his knees. He scoops a palm full of water onto them and scrubs, trying to get blood out of the small cracks where it will settle and rot. His chainmail is back at the fort up the hill, where its heaviness can't encumber him. It cleans itself reasonably well, all the links clattering together, just so long as he doesn't roll in any mud.
There is shuffling on the dock behind him, the creaking of old wood. Etho tilts his head, breathes in deeply through his nose. His pulse doesn't quicken. After a momentary pause, he resumes his work.
"Hey BDubs," he says conversationally. "Trying to sneak up on me?"
"Wh-- no. Of course not." There is mischief in BDub's answer, a grin in his voice. "The great Etho? Never. You probably heard me coming from a mile away."
"Maybe not a mile," Etho chuckles humbly. "You going to join me?"
"Well, I don't know," BDubs laughs, leaning over Etho's shoulder. "Is it safe?"
"I don't know why it wouldn't be."
"Water's cursed," BDubs reminds him. "There could be boogiemen about."
"You trying to tell me something BDubs?" Etho asks slyly, peering up at his friend.
"What? No of course not," BDubs laughs. He sits beside Etho, plunging his bare feet into the water beside the dock. "Even if I was, you know me Etho. You? Kill you? You'd kill me first."
"I don't know about that," Etho hums, splashing another palm full of water on a buckle clasp and scrubbing at a rusted stain with his thumb. "You made pretty efficient work of Grian."
"Grian had it coming," BDubs shrugs. "Got too caught up listening to the music."
Etho chuckles. "The music was very good."
BDubs kicks his feet in the water, humming the tune momentarily under his breath. It's a haunting sound, not really meant to be sung. Not by anything human. Etho shudders in spite of himself.
"Man, don't do that."
"Sorry! Haha! Sorry. Couldn't help it," BDubs grins a gap-tooth smile in Etho's direction, his eyes bright and gilded by the setting sun. "It's probably one of the coolest kills I've ever gotten."
"I'll make sure Tango knows you said that."
"Oh, Tango's fine." Bdubs waves a hand dismissively. "He's just upset 'cause I scared him."
"You did more than just scare him."
Dark room. Dark water. Tango screaming and running, scrabbling at the walls with his nails. If they ever went back to that little cave, Etho wondered if there would be marks on the walls like the docks, played, desperate fingers, digging.
"Well he's alive, isn't he?"
"I guess he is."
"Then he should get over it!"
Etho shakes his head, laughing. BDubs' voice is over-loud on the quiet lake, but its a good sound. Full of intensity and joy, and revelry. It made the silence between his words stark and empty, and Etho was always loathe to fill it.
Bdubs suddenly wraps an arm around Etho's shoulders, pulling him into a conspiratorial embrace. "Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you, by the way."
Etho suddenly has goosebumps on his neck, his spine, his arms. BDubs' arm is cold against his shoulders. He smells of bracken and standing water, and his eyes are bright as sunset. Etho takes a long, slow breath in and holds it for a moment.
"Uh... Yeah, BDubs?"
"I've got a plan, you know, for the others," Bdubs continues, his voice dropping to something near a whisper. There is something on the edge of his tone like the ringing of bells. Excitement. Thrill. Hunger. "But I'll need some help. I mean, I'm good at redstone, you know 'ol BDubs knows his stuff. But I need an expert. Someone good at traps."
"You know you've always got me Bdubs," Etho laughs, and it is hard to keep the nervousness from his voice. He's not sure he succeeds. "I'm happy to help. Just uh--" He shrugs his shoulders, and BDubs' arm falls away. "You know. Keep your distance."
"You're not scared of me, are you Etho?" Bdubs laughs, and it's loud and boisterous, and perfect. It echoes off the water like glass. Bells and ringing. He gives Etho a prideful, knowing look. "No, you're not scared of little 'ol BDubs. I know what you're scared of."
BDubs suddenly turns and slips into the water. Not all the way. His hands are still clinging to the wood, his elbows resting on the dock like it was a pool side. But the splash hits Etho's side and makes him shudder so hard, he drops the armor he'd been polishing. In a flash he's on his feet, backing away two, three steps. His movements feel too slow and heavy, and there's an instant of panic in him.
"Woah man!" Etho snaps, startled. He reaches for something, anything-- "I said keep your--!"
But BDubs is laughing, kicking his feet, stirring up the mud at the bottom of the river. "Oh come on Etho. It's water."
Etho takes three long breaths, filling his lungs to bursting before pushing the air out again heavy through his nose.
"You're fine you big baby," BDubs grins, resting his head on his crossed arms. His legs stop kicking, stop stirring up the mud, and Etho can see the water is shallow enough that he's standing on the bottom. He'd thought-- he'd thought-- "You'd think I tried to drown you, jeez."
He thought it was deeper.
Etho held his breath for a moment, counted slowly. He wanted to reach his hand to his neck, to check his pulse. To see how fast his heart was beating. He moved his hand to, and at a mocking glance from his friend, decides instead to stoop to pick up his dropped armor. He walks carefully to his basket and places it inside.
"Why'd you come down here, anyway?" BDubs asks. "If you're so scared, I mean."
"You know me, BDubs. I always come back," Etho answers, almost a reflex. A rehearsed answer. "Who else would I go to?"
"Tango and Skizz?"
"They won't keep me safe like you will." Etho points out. He shudders again, the cold from BDub's touch had seeped into him more than he thought it had. He's acclimating though, like jumping into a pool. It's a cold that seeps out of him, warms as it settles. "It's me and you to the end, right buddy?"
"Of course Etho. I'd never betray you."
Etho looks through his things one last time, then frowns. He turns the basket with his foot. He glances at BDubs, who still watches him from the water's edge. Then he takes a chance and crouches down beside his basket, rifling through with both hands.
"Lose something?" BDubs asks, standing on his tiptoes to get a better look.
Etho looks around, checking first the dock, and then the water beyond. In the deeper water over the side, he sees the flash of a buckle in the dying rays of the sun.
"Oh, huh," BDubs hums disinterestedly. "Guess you'll have to get that."
"BDubs," Etho scowls.
"Fine! Fine. I get it. You don't wanna get wet." BDubs puts up his hands, as though surrendering. "The water really isn't all that bad." He offers Etho a quick little salute. "Be right back."
He takes an exaggerated breath and splashes beneath the dock, stirring up mud and river plants. He breaks the water's surface shortly after, holding up the fallen armor piece triumphantly. "Ta-da! Hold your applause. I know I'm great."
Etho, in spite of himself, chuckles. He shivers again -- the evening is getting cold -- and reaches a hand out. BDubs places the buckle in his hand, then reaches his other hand up to clasp Etho's gently. It's awkward and off-balance, Etho leaning precariously over the side of the dock, and BDubs on his tip-toes, holding him in place. It isn't a hard grasp. At any moment, Etho can take his hand away. He has always been stronger than BDubs.
"Hey, Etho, I really have missed you, man," BDubs says, smiling fondly, his voice soft. It isn't a whisper. It simply isn't loud and brash like he normally is. Heartfelt. The kind of tone that beckons, that wants to be listened to. "I mean-- I've missed us doing things together. It reminds me of the good 'ol days, you know? NHO and Mindcrack. We make a good team."
"We do," Etho agrees. He takes a long, slow breath. He shivers.
He frowns.
Etho pulls his hand out of BDubs, and BDubs offers no resistance. Etho looks down at his hand, at the wrinkled, waterlogged skin. He rubs his thumb across his forefingers, feeling the odd texture, grounding himself on it. Etho takes a deep breath in, lets it out again slowly.
"How long have I been in the water, BDubs?" Etho whispers.
Etho is still holding the belt buckle in one hand, still looking down at the wrinkled fingers of his other. BDubs is still in front of him, only his head and shoulders above the water. Etho looks back over his shoulder. The dock is startlingly far away, the basket sitting on the very edge. Beyond it, his boots and water bucket are sitting in the grass beside rushes and willow branches.
"Does it matter?" BDubs asks, smiling gently.
Etho takes a long, deep breath through his nose.
"Oh, don't be scared," BDubs says, moving silently closer. He reaches out his hands and grasps Etho's arms, a gentle touch, reassuring. A friend trying to assuage fear. His eyes are blazing red and orange with the setting sun, but the sky is black and salted with stars. "I didn't drag you down here, Etho. You came to me, remember?"
"BDubs--"
"You know I'd never betray you," BDubs continues, taking a slow step backwards. He pulls Etho with him, and Etho, by habit and familiarity, takes a step forward. The allure of BDubs' voice tilts his vision. He's on the dock, holding the buckle that fell in the water, and BDubs is clasping his hands, and the sun is setting. The water is up to his chest, and the world is dark star-filled, and BDubs is taking another step backwards, and Etho is following. "I could have betrayed you day one, and I didn't. I'm just asking for your help, Etho. You and me together, right?"
"BDubs--"
"It's the deep water, isn't it?" BDubs croons, like he's speaking to a child. "The deep water scares you? It's okay. You're fine."
Etho is fine. His breathing is slow, his heartbeat even. He wants to be scared. He should be scared. But BDubs is his friend.
BDubs reaches up to Etho's neck, not to strangle or to threaten, but to gently cup his hands around him. He pulls gently on Etho, not to drag Etho down, but to raise himself up, so they're nearly eye to eye. Etho feels water around his shoulders, and shivers.
"It's okay," BDubs says. "I would never hurt you, I promise. We don't have to go any deeper." His voice even and calm, inexorable. Etho's pulse doesn't quicken when he says, "You know how many people drown in shallow water? It's easy. I'll be with you the whole time."
The water is around Etho's neck, and BDubs is above him just slightly. One hand raises slowly to the back of Etho's head, fingers gently tangling in his hair. It is the caress of someone who cares for him deeply, someone who wants him to stay. The feeling is wholly dissonant from the words being spoken. Water? Drowning? How could someone who loves him so much drown him?
"You want to stay with me, right?" BDubs asks. "You and me together, we'd be unstoppable, Etho. The best duo the Life Series has ever seen."
BDub's hand on Etho's neck moves just slightly, the thumb pulling around to rest on his adam's apple. The hand in his hair clenches just a little. A warning. "You're not thinking about betraying me, are you?"
Etho shivers again. He wants to be afraid.
"You know, Grian said some things before he drowned," BDubs's hand on his neck tightened just a little. Etho could feel his pulse against BDub's thumb, finally, finally beginning to quicken. "He said you were a survivor. He said you'd leave me -- heh -- high and dry. You wouldn't do that, would you, Etho?"
Etho's pulse quickened more. There was a cold numbness in his limbs that he hadn't even noticed gathering, and his sluggishly awakening panic pushed it from him.
"BDubs," Etho said, his voice small and hoarse in his throat, "let me go."
"Etho..." BDubs said warningly.
"Let me go!" Etho shouted, planting his hands on BDub's chest and shoving backwards away. What he felt, in that brief second, was neither skin nor flesh, nor the softness of fabric. He felt tangled river weeds, and fish scales, slimy and cold against his skin. The cursed thing that looked like BDubs but wasn't, released Etho spitefully. His claws tore from Etho's neck, scraped along the back of his head to come free with pale strands of his hair. Suddenly there were arms around him, and Etho screamed and thrashed as he was dragged.
"I've got you dude! I've got you!"
It was Skizz, his voice a thunderous bellow in Etho's ear, his arms feverishly hot against him where they clamped like vices around his waist. Skizz dragged Etho from the water like he weighed nothing. Etho got his feet underneath himself and clung to Skizz, staggering out of the water as quick as he could. He heard feet pounding on the dock, and glanced over to watch Tango sprint across the wood. He stooped, grabbed up Etho's basket, and sprinted back with it, the reaching, clawed hand of the thing that looked like BDubs snapping for his ankles and missing.
"I got him!" Skizz shouted to Tango, scrambling onto the grass, refusing to let Etho go until they were well up the path. "Did you see how close he was?!"
"Yeah I saw!" Tango snapped, choking on his own fear, gulping in air and coughing it back out again. "It tried to drag me in!"
"Oh my god, are you okay dude?" Skizz demanded, and, when Tango nodded, he turned back to Etho. "Are you okay? I didn't see you go under. Can you breathe?"
Etho, who had collapsed into the grass the moment Skizz released him, lay there gasping like a hooked fish. He shivered, pale and cold from how long he spent in the water-- how long had he been in the water. He could still feel the thing's burning claws in streaks across his neck, and a tickling of blood at the back of his head.
"Etho?"
"I'm okay," Etho gasped, "I'm sorry I just-- I needed-- I wanted--"
"I know what you wanted!" Tango snapped angrily, the anger of someone who had risked his life. The anger of someone who thought a friend of his was dead, or dying. "But it's not him, Etho."
"It sounds like him," Etho whispered. He threw an arm over his eyes and shivered again. "It sounds like him, though."
"I know it does buddy, I know," Skizz said, his voice full of sympathy and pity. He waited with mountainous patience as Etho pulled himself together, and then helped Etho stand.
Together, they walked back to the fort.
Behind them, something cursed and hungry in the dark water, sang, and its voice was sweet and familiar.
#the barking writer#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#last life smp#llsmp#last life boogieman#tangotek#skizzleman#siren#siren!bdubs#last life au#last life series#god dont ask#just don't ask me okay i got like#i was having Visions From God#I needed to write scary siren bdubs trying to drown etho#i was aiming for spooky im not sure if i got there#this is unedited and unproofread#i just needed to get it Out Of My Head i do apologize
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Dear God it's pure agony being a fan of media that has a (near) nonexistent fandom😢. Like the tags are empty no fanart, no analysis, no memes I'm lucky if I see a gifset edit...Hell indescribable.
Please people I'm dying here, I'm writhing and crying. So like peep those tags pick up any that interest you and join me so their fandoms aren't empty and Inactive 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
#master of poisons#Andrea Hairston#Black Iron Legacy#Gareth Hanrahan#Carter Archives#Dan stout#the salvagers#august kitko and the mechas from space#starmetal symphony#alex white#no gods for drowning#Hailey piper#the graven#essa Hansen#The God-King Chronicles#mike brooks#the war arts saga#Wesley chu#the worldbreaker saga#kameron hurley#the last god#the fellspyre chronicles#books#adult fantasy#adult science Fiction#adult sff
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more seavbo pirate au <3
#bro has the blessing of the god of the sea (old man) he is not drowning#parkour civilization#parkour civilisation fanart#seavbo#seawatt#evbo
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im making text post memes for the whole student council but nanami gets her own post bc shes gods specialest little princess
#revolutionary girl utena#nanami might be my favorite character honestly she serves relentlessly#'UM sHe dRoWnEd a KiTtEN' god forbid women do anything!!!
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May I offer you a nice woman in this trying time?
#art#digital art#fantasy#the arcana#the arcana fanart#portia devorak#wishing all my fellow Portia likers a pleasant afternoon#the funniest part of this was when my search for references on pinterest devolved into just looking at ass pics for like 20 minutes bkdfjhb#God I love women so much man#Okay I can't think of anymore tags time to go drown my feelings in Monster Hunter or something idk man vbdfskvjhjhb
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