#no empathy no like ?? self awareness no politeness anything

[imsobadatnicknames2]

ok but i need the evrart claire essay

Okay just be warned that this is gonna be less of an "essay" and more of a loose collection of thoughts, and I don't know how fresh or novel any of these ideas are going to be when it pertains to popular Disco Elysium fan discourse because I don't really do fandom, you know?

Anyway, I think the most obvious factet of Evrart's character is how he very intentionally calls to mind a caricature of corrupt union leaders, the image of a sleazy mobster who only cares about his own personal gain but pays lip service to leftist politics and pretends to care about the interests of workers as a way to obtain and maintain his power. And I think a lot of people straightforwardly read him as such, because that's the way he carries himself and the type of character the game is riffing on. There's also the question of how much of Evrart's manipulative, duplicitous attitude is just how he normally acts and how much of it is him specifically acting that way towards Harry and Kim specifically, it's important to have in mind that your main character is a cop and that would definitely play a role in making Evrart go out of his way to be a bit more of a bastard and toy with you a bit before he decides to actually do anything helpful.

However, once you dig a little deeper into his characterization, it becomes clear that he's pulling a very interesting double bluff, because it becomes apparent that the shady mobster who only cares about his personal gain is an act he's putting on. He's very self-aware about the fact that he's playing the villain, he seems to actively revel in it, but ultimately, it seems like he does it because playing the villain is the way he gets shit done.

This is not to say he's not actually corrupt, or that he's not ALSO involved in all sorts of shady stuff and taking advantage of his position of power, but the game does make it apparent that on some level he DOES have the interests of the people of Martinaise at heart.

For example, it is textually stated that the harbor doesn't need a night watchman, and Evrart created the position specifically to provide a source of income for René. He knows the pension Rene gets is not enough for him to live on, but he's also aware that René is the sort of right-wing guy who would rather starve to death than take a handout (especially from those dirty union commies), so Evrart created a job position which pretty much involves doing nothing for a few hours every night so he could help him with his economic troubles in a way he wouldn't refuse out of principle. René hates his guts, ideologically stands against everything his organization represents, and is generally an unlikeable asshole and a fascist prick, but he's also a disadvantaged member of the community and that seems to matter more.

Even when he asks you to get the signatures to build the community center, which is definitely one of the most morally questionable things he does during the events of the game (as it will improve the community, but at the same time displace the people from the fishing village), his intentions seem to be ultimately good. Due to the very nature of his character and the act he puts on, it's purposefully hard to tell when he's being sincere and when he's being manipulative. However, if Harry's drama and empathy skills are high enough when he's confronted about it, you'll be able to tell that he's not lying about his motives for wanting to build a community center or about the fact that he intends to provide better housing for the people displaced by the project, and that he feels genuine rage about their current living conditions. It can still be said that he's ignoring their self-determination and essentially forcing these people out of their current homes, but he does seem to have good intentions and think he's doing a good thing for them in the long run, even if his methods are morally questionable at best.

In that way, the Union is an extension of him in this regard too. They're pretty unapologetic about the fact that they're openly operating as a crime syndicate, but the game doesn't give you any reasons to believe they're lying when they say they're doing it as a way to muslce out all the more dangerous gangs and crime organizations out of Martinaise, or that their involvement in the drug trade is at least partially motivated by a desire to make sure it's not controlled by more dangerous and violent crime organizations. Again, they're playing the villain as a way to fill that power vacuum and make sure more dangerous people don't fill that role (but of course, that doesn't erase the fact that, noble as their intentions may be, they're still involved in all these shady activities and turning a pretty substantial profit from them too)

Of course, on the other hand, just because the game seems to hint at the fact that Evrart and the Union are, deep down, a force for good, doesn't erase the fact that he's done plenty of bad shit to further his interests, and the game doesn't shy away from this. He's still extremely corrupt, his long-term plan to wrestle control of the harbor away from the company and turn it into a worker-owned operation (which *would* massively improve the material conditions of the dockworkers if succesful) involves endangering the lives of a lot of his own workers, he and his brother Edgar pass the position of union foreman back and forth between each other to circumvent the term limit and keep themselves in power indefinitely, and if you explore all dialogue options with the Deserter it's all but explicitly stated that they rose to power by getting him to assassinate the previous Union forewoman.

These are things that Evrart himself would probably rationalize as sacrifices that need to be made for the greater good. After all, it is implied that the previous union forewoman was also corrupt, except in favor of the company's interests, and might have even been a company plant. However, this doesn't make those things morally right. Good intentions nonwithstanding, it's clear that the Claire brothers are very "the ends justify the means" kind of people, they probably see getting the previous Union leader killed or endangering the lives of the dockworkers to overthrow the company that exploits them as "pulling the lever" in the trolley problem, which is extremely callous at best.

Here's where we get a little more into "disjointed thoughts" territory, but Evrart can also be seen as a critique of the limits of trade unionism and social democrat politics. Something that I completely missed in my first playthrough but was able to catch on during my second is that the people of the fishing village refuse to unionize, and as a result they don't get the same level of support and protection that the union provides to the people of the more urban section of Martinaise. This is apparently widely known enough for characters other than Evrart to comment on (I forget what character I learned this from, but it was definitely not Evrart). So it's clear that Evrart and the Union put their interests of the members of their own organization over those of other working class people, which is one criticism that can be leveraged against the way a lot of leftists seem to treat unions as the ultimate tool for worker class liberation.

Similarly, when Evrart tells you his long-term plans, it's clear that his ultimate goals don't involve complete worker liberation. As far as the game shows, he's a socdem who's still looking to work within the confines of capitalism. There are more radically left wing characters in Disco Elysium, but Evrart is the only one with any actual power to affect change, which kinda speaks to the lack of presence of more hardline leftist positions in mainstream politics. As someone living in Latin America, I kinda ended up seeing a bit of a lot of our currrent socdem politicians in him in that respect, I guess, but i'd need more time to articulate this thought properly, I guess.

Ultimately, I think Evrart is an amazingly crafted character. He evokes a well-known archetype of a shady, corrupt, power-hungry union leader, but he adds a lot of depth, self-awareness, and nuance to it and subverts that characterization in several ways. I think he atually serves an important role of ideologically challenging players who share the developers' and writers' political leanings. I think it would have been very self-congratulatory and autocomplacent to make the most influential leftist character in the game an unambiguously good paragon of workers' rights and working class liberation. By instead giving us someone who's an absolute callous bastard who definitely has a bit of blood on his hands, who's a socdem at best and a self-serving mob boss at worst, but can ultimately be interpreted as a force for good, and asking the players to decide what they think of him I think it brings interesting questions to the table of our commitment to material gains, what sorts of people we're willing to work with, and the sort of acts we're willing to tolerate, and makes the game a lot more thematically rich.

I also think a good analysis of Evrart is incomplete without an analysis of the ways in which he serves a a charater foil for Joyce, but I don't feel like getting into that rn.

[zouisexo]

|

[drdemonprince]

A real masterclass from Captain Awkward on the art of navigating competing agendas within a passive-aggressive friendgroup without losing your head. Every word of this needs to be read and internalized by so many people, but here are the highlights:

People often call me diplomatic, and it’s true, but not in the way they mean. Diplomacy isn’t just about being good at de-escalation, peace-keeping, compromise, or finding palatable ways to deliver hard truths. Diplomacy is about understanding power and leveraging what power you have in negotiations, which sometimes includes strategically escalating conflicts or letting them play out. You most likely don’t have the power to fix your friends’ hearts or make your group chats all run smooth, and I don’t have any magic scripts up my sleeve that will guarantee that you can, but it doesn’t mean you have no power in the situation. It’s there, just, I suspect that it’s not where you’re looking for it.

There’s this persistent idea that the *only* right way to respond to shitty interpersonal behavior is to empathize deeply with the shitty person, figure out precisely why they are being like that, and use your own compassion to create a teachable moment that fosters greater self-awareness that results in eventual behavioral change from the inside out, and anything less constitutes a failure of *your* patience & empathy. That’s where the notion that saying any version of “Hey, can you knock it off right now with the housewarming party planning?” would be “rude” and “unhelpful” comes from. If somebody’s being Rude, you’re supposed to Polite at them so hard that they Learn An Important Lesson, Eventually. A couple problems with that: What good does this do for the targets of shitty behavior? What happens if the shitty people never learn? What happens if they learn, but it’s exactly the wrong lesson? “I can be as shitty as I want, and people must be polite to me at all costs, and if they fail to tolerate my bad behavior with perfect grace, it makes them even worse than me and everything becomes actually their fault? Sweet!” What do you win if you successfully erase your anger and annoyance from all of your closest friendships and present only the most accommodating, peace-making parts of yourself? The answer to #1 is “nothing much” and the answer to #2-#4 about what happens and what you “win” is More Shitty Behavior, All The Time, Basically Forever because you’ve robbed yourself of the tools for actually addressing it, tools like, “healthy expressions of authentic emotions” and “meaningful consequences.” My pitch to you is basically, what if we changed the order of operations for dealing with someone whose behavior is out of pocket? What if we administered consequences first, and let the epiphanies sort themselves out later? If people get rapid negative feedback every time they do or say something shitty, maybe they’ll learn to think and feel differently over time, but that slow internal work is none of your business. If people wanna be assholes, they’ll need to do it somewhere else. If they want to hang out with you, there are limits on acceptable behavior.

[androgynouscomputerthing]

this post is a repost of an amazing reddit post by u/throwaway6372801 on the r/MoDaoZuShi subreddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MoDaoZuShi/s/GeHsDKCFON

Growing up in a Chinese brothel and how it may relate to Jin Guangyao/Meng Yao as a character

Just to start off I would like to preface that I’m not excusing his crimes, only putting in perspective parts of his character that I personally resonate with based on similarities. I will start off discussing how brothels and debts tend to work, especially involving children.

I will not be releasing where I grew up nor my name due to privacy reasons as I have somewhat personal information about myself on this account, despite its name.

But in short, I grew up in a brothel in China with my mother. She worked as a prostitute out of desperation and debt, which I ended up also helping with.

Debt was accumulated through food, housing, water, electricity, makeup, clothes, anything that we were unable to pay for ourselves and had to ‘take out a loan’ for. Things necessary for my mother to work, such as makeup, also fell into this category. This is not to mention baby items which were even more expensive and often times couldn’t be stretched out to last as long as other items.

Your co-workers are not your friends. You may both be in this situation, you may both have children, but if you cannot afford it, kindness is not an option. You have to be callous to survive.

On the same subject, politeness is a sought after commodity. If you can have a convincing smile, laugh, anything of the sort. Lying as well, if you can’t convince the man about to rape your child that they can’t because you would be ‘jealous’, you and your child are cooked.

Selling a child isn’t uncommon either. If someone has a particularly low-paying client who happens to be ugly or undesirable, they may offer the nearest person to them, not uncommonly a child that’s either their or one of their co-workers’.

Being a woman in a brothel is not a ‘women supporting women’ place. It is survival. And yes, some people are just evil, and will try and sell the child of a better paid co-worker than work themselves.

It doesn’t matter how pitiful you look, though it can help, you cannot stop it.

Onto Meng Yao. I will be calling him that since at this point in his life, he was indeed called Meng Yao.

We see when Wei Wuxian performs Empathy, that he goes into the body of Anxin. We as the readers get a glimpse into Meng Yao’s childhood at the brothel. It’s brief, and mostly focuses on the event of his mother, Meng Shi, being dragged naked into the streets, with himself after (fully dressed). Sisi comes to their defence.

But what I think that most people forget is that earlier, Anxin tries to sell Meng Yao to a customer. Not an uncommon thing to see in a brothel sadly.

We as the readers also are aware of Meng Yao’s signature ‘customer service smile’. This is pretty common with people in the customer service industry. Where you have to keep people happy to keep them from screaming at you. I have no doubt that this is likely a learned behaviour from his childhood at the brothel. All my fellow brothel brats, as well as myself, default to it as well.

Another response is possibly immediate lying/not taking fault in a situation where you are obviously at fault or have been caught red-handed. Think the scene of Meng Yao stabbing the Jin Captain and being caught be Nie Mingjue. Reading this scene, it always felt more like when a child drops a plate and immediately points to the dog to avoid punishment. While the child was clearly at fault, they took the blame off of themselves in an act of self-preservation. I’m not claiming that he was right here, just that his response makes sense to me. I have found myself and many others with a similar background doing it as well.

Well, that was definitely long. I don’t want to come off like I’m ridding Meng Yao of all his faults. I’m only trying to shed light on how some of his responses to things make sense given his upbringing, as well as maybe give people an insight as to how horrible brothels can be, especially to children.

If your mother is the only kind person to you, she is your whole world.

In addition, prostitution is often called ‘the first profession’ or ‘the oldest job’. I think this rings very true. Much of the practices mentioned have been practiced for centuries and likely will continue to be practiced for centuries to come.

If anyone decided to sit through and read everything, thank you. I would also like to apologise in advance for any grammatical or spelling mistakes, English is not my first language. I’m pretty all over the place here so apologies for that as well.

Edit: I forgot to mention the disgust and prejudice that people hold to this day. Meng Yao serving tea and it being seen as ‘tainted’ is a sentiment still somewhat held to this day. Same with him not being allowed to hold Jin Ling due to his perceived ‘dirtiness’. It’s something that is sad but true, and follows people for their entire lives. You will never be clean, due only to the circumstances of your birth and childhood, as well as a desperate attempt to survive. Prostitution is not something people aspire to achieve generally. If they do, they likely don’t understand the long term effects and social stigma that isn’t just limited to you.

Edit 2: Safety is another huge thing, especially for formal brothel brats. Safety comes with power. I’m not excusing Meng Yao’s use of getting power, he definitely used certain means that I don’t agree with. But especially growing up in that setting safety = power. I was given the advice many times growing up to cling to a powerful man in hopes that I become his wife, as that would grant me safety and stability. Many of the children I grew up with ended up working alongside their mothers or turning to drug dealing and criminal activity, which in turn gave them power. I think that what we learn growing up has a huge impact on people as adults. It can be very difficult to unlearn these associations.

Last edit, more of an update: I would like to thank everyone and extend that thanks on behalf of my mother. We are both doing well now. We have both come to America and I have started my own family in the past few months. She has a new job and recently moved. She’s very happy and has many friends here. Thank you all for your kindness and well wishes. Have a lovely day!

screenshots of the original post as well as my messages. cut off, but she did approve this post.

[biohorror-human]

just watched a porn video of this guy sitting near a lake, fully clothed, talking about their past. just their political beliefs, their upbringing, moments from their childhood, how their views have changed over time, what they're doing in their life, why they are making a porn video despite that going against one of their morals they mentioned. they're this wandering nomad who just wanders around canada, they're a self proclaimed analyst-neuroscientist and simultaneously a high school dropout. they're an anarcho-communist and a naturist.

After 55 minutes of just talking to the camera, and shifting around because they couldn't find a comfortable sitting position on the rocks, they do this finger-snap transition to them naked in their tent. and like, i know it sounds weird- keep in mind weird and unconventional is kind of their whole thing- but the whole time, it doesnt feel like any video you'd ever really watch. They're super aware of how odd video blogging is, there's no cuts for 99% of the video, even when they're just waiting for a train to go by before they start talking again. You just sit there and wait with them. After the snap transition, it's just them talking about how they wont know whether or not the edit will work.

AS IF the first 55 minutes of a porn video being a personal recollection of their past and political views and overall worldview AND that semi-awkward yet natural hyper-awareness of the falseness of video blogging WASN'T unconventional enough; the whole section of them masturbating in the tent is so... personal. It 100% reminded me of my first time ever having sex. before they even start doing anything, they talk about how they were going to film this part outside, but got assaulted by mosquitos as soon as they got undressed. inbetween segments of them masturbating, they stop to just talk about this lubricant substitute they use, or their journey of sexual discovery so far. They're constantly switching positions, or readjusting the camera (and subsequently apologizing for readjusting the camera).

This video just hit me right in the heart. The awkwardness, the slowness, the constant shifting and readjusting. there was no script, there was no director, there was no editing. This person just wanted to potentially make a few bucks on their video so that they could keep wandering, and so they started posting video blogs on youtube and video blog style porn on pornhub. The porn doesn't even feel like porn, because the experience itself is so personal. The way the video doesn't just END after the "moneyshot" (i hate that term), it rolls for a few more minutes as they just talk about their feelings about their performance. Like, holy fuck. that was literally me talking to my (now ex) after my first time. I feel a deep empathy towards this person now. I know about parasocial relationships, so believe me when I say I understand that the emotions are completely one way, but even then I was reminded so much of myself. Due to how natural everything in the video happened I felt genuinely closer to this person by the end. Also because he's cute and I like his voice.

I'm not sorry for this weird post because if i didn't say something about "the incredibly deep and personal porn video with a 55 minute dialogue completely made up on the spot by the creator, who is a high-school dropout anarcho-communist naturist nomad" I was going to explode. someone has to know.

Also I really like media that depicts consensual sexual acts / nudity in a casual and empathetic manner that makes the behavior seem human and neutral, and in doing so normalizes natural sexual behaviors as simply "part of being human" instead of some sacred and important ritualistic or purely lustful and barbaric act. So of course this video is a big favorite.

anyways his youtube is: adamnsliceofcake6371 the pornhub account is: adamnsliceofcake

I just checked his hub account and holy shit.

based police???? the video is 78 minutes long. thats one of the SHORTER ones. he's like modern day diogenes if he was even cooler.

absolutely fucking genius. found my new favorite thing I wont be able to talk about with real life people I know. 141 minutes by the way.

[sleepingdeath-light]

what kind of dad he’d be hcs ; reiner braun

requested by ; anonymous (10/10/23)

fandom(s) ; attack on titan

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; reiner braun

outline ; “Hello! Can I request a dad headcanons (as in reader is his kid) about Reiner or Zeke [you can do both of them if you feel like it] (AoT)? What kind of father would he be and how would he deal with being a single parent. Those dudes have some issues, so I'm curious how that would impact their parenting styles. Have a nice day or night!”

note ; very shaky characterisation as i haven’t written for reiner before — also this spans from pre-rumbling to after eren’s death

warning(s) ; canon typical references to violence and angst, but mostly fluff!

reiner is a deeply traumatised person who grew up wholeheartedly believing the idea that his blood is lesser, that he and those like him are devils, and as a result of that he’d undoubtedly struggle a lot to cope with being a single parent — especially if you’re his biological child, someone that shares the same blood that he grew up despising

he doesn’t have any positive parental role models to default to as he raises you on his own, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try his best to be there for you — he refuses to be like his father and only ever does things that he believes are in your best interests

(even if he can’t help but tell you all about his childhood and the shame associated with his — your — heritage)

he instills a strong set of values in you as you grow up, some that originate from his own upbringing and others that come from his experiences as a soldier, and as a result you’ll come into adulthood as someone who values hard work, dedication to your cause, and extreme empathy — a desire to protect the innocent and weak whenever you can

there are times when the guilt of his past actions and attacks on his fellow scouts gets too much for him, you’ll see your father start to isolate himself completely — leaving you mostly to fend for yourself, and to care for him, as he spirals into self hatred, guilt, and suicidal ideation

you’re the only thing keeping him from pulling the trigger, and that makes him feel even worse because he’s all too aware of the weight and stress that puts on your young shoulders

reiner does his best to keep you away from the dangers and darkness that follows him through his life — in fact, on multiple occasions he even considered giving you up so that you could live a happier, safer, and more comfortable life than anything he could ever provide

and, of course, he made sure to set things up so that you’d have someone to take you in after his time is up — though that specific fear is much less prominent after all of the titans, including his armoured titan form and the shortened life span it represented, have been wiped out

he wants to make the world a better place for you and that’s why he keeps on atoning by working with the scouts, why he keeps on pushing even when it feels impossible to do so — but it’s undeniable how relieved he gets when he gets home from a mission and gets to see you, see his beloved child, again with your kind smile and open arms and all of those drawings you made in his absence

after the final battle, once he no longer has to fight as he once did, reiner makes an effort to be as present of a parent as he can be for you — trying to navigate his work as a peace ambassador whilst also doing his best to give you a semblance of a ‘normal’ childhood in what’s left of the world after the rumbling

his mother, thankfully, is there to help and becomes a much more prominent (and doting) maternal figure in your life when your father is busy or abroad trying to diffuse political tensions with his fellow former scouts — and while neither of them is perfect, it’s clear that they’re both trying their best to do right by you

[mercadona007]

to elaborate on instagrams and specifically ethically and hyper-morally aware influencers' increasing incline towards vulnerability – I think the main difference in (subversive) voices of the 20th and the 21st century is the commodification of empathy. we've seen how sites like tumblr spawned so called "social justice warriors" and a discourse mainly sparked by the call to action to "spread this like wildfire". instagram has made political discourse easily digestible with colorful slides and informative posts that can be easily shared to our profiles to participate in a lively political discourse, or so it seems.

the main goal of any publicly posted social or political opinion is not idealism but is rooted in wanting to fit in and not being caught not caring enough. at this point I could elaborate on what I think are the main driving factors that led to us as social media users feeling obliged to have a very clear stance and opinion on burning political matters.

another thing this evolution towards an online turbo-empathy has brought along has been the phenomenon of self-diagnosis and a hyper-awareness for mental health issues. while I see this as a very welcoming evolution towards less stigmatization when it comes very real misdiagnosed neurodivergences, I think its transformed into a rite of passage for some.

all of these factors have brought along an evolution from a toxic hyper-positive and life affirming influencer to a much more socially aware influencer with (im)poster syndrome. being aware about social media showcasing only the best moments in ones life and ultimately, a lot of personal privilege, it seems a lot of newer influencers are now unable to post anything without the disclaimer that this positive milestone, this successful event or launch was accompanied by so much personal struggle, fears, insecurities. I root for transparency, I root for a more honest way of posting, but it becomes insincere and feels inauthentic in a way. if you've had a successful studio launch, a project you've been working on for months, I think its fair to celebrate such a milestone. im afraid we are commodifying struggle to a point its going to become a privilege.

[lordelmelloi2]

I am kind of glad that I saw your take on the aztec stuff because a lot times people's extreme dislike of it has a habit warpping anything that comes in contact with it deeming all as the same You're like legit the first person who went, yeah these story are great, yeah there narratives are resonate to many people many times over, which makes these cases all the more furstating cause it gets in the way for all sakes purposes by painting the story in a certain light that it's impossible to get rid of.

And that something wholeheartly agree with. Type moon's greatest strength and weakness is it's purity and how it works in it's own internal clockwork. Almost every story is rarely anything phoned in and it's always one guy/gal trying really hard to express something and that such an important to the works. But at the same time it really shows that they don't consult anyone when things are running high which can result in some good and some bad which in seven with the some revealations latter down the line with some characters.

The fact that until relatively recently that they didn't know they had a national audience just shows there lacking self awareness and while everything recently shown they gotten better at it, it doesn't completely help when that eranest shows and it becomes 50/50 how it will turn out. In the end they only way I could see this is slove is someone making effort to expand the internal group with my various opinions but that's like making them actively aware of said issuse of literal brainrot they get.

Yup and that's one of the things that drives me kind of crazy too is like, now they're aware of this massive international audience for their works, people from all corners of the earth and different cultures, and people who like the series who also are like... well, not so embroiled in this anime-manga-otaku culture who Don't think it's right to, for instance, whitewash cultural figures, or include figures from cultures/mythos that Aren't supposed to be depicted (i.e. Wandjina), or understand that constant sexualization of minors is a No-Go in like The Majority Of The World, etc.... and Type Moon is always going to focus itself in on its Otaku market in Japan. So it's always going to try to be appealing to that market demographic first, even if it gives crumbs to, like, female otaku at times.

Which SUCKSSSSS!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE AWAREEEEEEE!!!! OF THE WAY THESE STORIES RESONATE WITH PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THOSE DEMOGRAPHICSSSS!! AND SOMETIMES EVEN THE AUTHORS WILL *WRITE STORIES* THAT HAVE THAT SORT OF MEANING, THAT HAVE THAT SORT OF CONNECTION, THAT GIVE EMPATHY AND COMPASSION TO PEOPLE OF HISTORICALLY OPPRESSED GROUPS... BUT LIKE MANY GACHA THEY'LL ALWAYS BE FOCUSING IN ON THE MALE OTAKU'S WALLET FIRST. And especially when the writing is introducing a lot of cool ideas to explore within a variety of cultures and kind of also exploring how heroes and legends and mythological figures of other cultures may even learn and benefit from knowing each other, and this idea also that like these figures can reconcile with each other even (i.e. like how the Indian Hindu figures have reconciled with each other to a great degree, I think that's a fantastic story idea, especially because they talked and touched on how in the focus of saving greater humanity, there is this sense of -- I think it actually might've been Hector who said it, or something like it -- "if you continue these grudges from when you were alive and don't reconcile, you lose the only family you've got in this place". And it's that suggestion that also family and those you should care about are also people who have been through these same time periods, these same experiences, etc. Chaldea as a story's thesis insists that we need to build community, and focus on communities, and work towards the common goal of saving our planet.

Which, if you're a fan of the Fate series, you'll see them drop political references to socialism and communism and class disparity being an issue -- I mean the political storyline of Case Files alone also focuses in on class disparity being a massive issue as a whole for many people for many reasons -- it generally leans pretty left, and the overall themes and messages it tries to bring forward, that building community and being strong as a community and allowing us to learn from other cultures and perspectives and work towards a greater goal of saving humanity -- that's a message that quite a lot of us really really want to be hearing right now! It's a powerful message that I would argue is probably one of the most motivating factors people can have for continuing to engage with Fate series as a whole. Because so much of this story revolves around that central thesis, of treasuring humanity despite its flaws, and working to preserve humanity and restore it -- in this time of climate crisis, mass government corruption, genocides, etc. -- it's a message that a lot of people hold very dear to their hearts. I'm not saying FGO intrinsically motivates people to lean left, you have to have a brain to be able to understand that and a lot of people just don't engage with FGO's story like that, especially with the added layer of Gacha psychosis manipulation which is their primary way of making money asides from merchandise (another one of FGO's contradictory practices). But FGO does encourage people to look at other cultures and other peoples with empathy and understanding. It encourages you to learn about history, to learn about these historical figures, why they did what they did, what impact they had on society. If nothing else Fate series succeeds at encouraging people to learn about history and culture, and you don't have to have a Ph.D to see the ways that people have gotten involved more after learning about figures through FGO.

That's exactly why I think it's so difficult for people to just up and walk away from it. Because even if FGO mishandles it, it still opens up that opportunity for people to learn about it. Quite frankly -- I'm not saying it's good that FGO implemented Wandjina, for instance, but without that implementation, people in this fan space wouldn't also have been motivated to research and say "Hey, this is actually inaccurate, and not a great representation" and for us as fans that care also to share that information, and learn about Australian Aboriginal nations and their cultures, and why FGO fucked up so badly with this character implementation. Because we have this community of people who care about history and culture and mythos that we have built over the years. I think the fan spaces that are full of people who really care about the cultures that they come from being represented well, people who also are eager to talk about their cultures and histories and share it with others, or to praise when something IS represented well in Fate and given respect, is also another big reason why people don't leave Fate series. Because a lot of people really, really care. And the overall themes of Fate series encourage people to care about history, and culture, and to share it with people, and to educate people and get people engaged with their cultures, through these characters -- whether well-represented or not. I see it all the time with people making jokes about like, Tlaloc is literally Mexico City/Tenochtitlan, what does that mean for her in modern times? Oh, her and Tezcatlipoca are having Modelos with us, etc. Or people sometimes make jokes and posts about Hassans celebrating Ramadan or Eid-al-Fitr, and while I don't enjoy the way the female Hassans especially have been depicted, I think it's still fun to show people, hey, we are Muslim and we do this, here's Hassan picking out some sweets to have for early morning Suhoor.

Again, to reinforce -- I'll never denigrate someone or denounce someone leaving FGO because it depicted their culture poorly. There's many things that even I myself kind of have moments where I'm like, ... honestly the new Muslim character in Ordeal Call and the way people in certain corners of fate fan spaces treat him drives me up the fucking wall. Like that's an example of one way where I just feel like "yeah I just totally don't even want to engage with that at all, I'll redesign him probably, maybe if I'm lucky that redesign catches on," etc. You know what I mean? And I'll never denigrate anyone for leaving FGO because the gacha psychosis got too strong. I left FGO for like a year or so and played on-and-off because I spent a gazillion dollars on Waver and never got him, it took me a long ass time to get over that psychosis, and I even still have gacha psychosis issues with like, Kama, who I still haven't rolled to this day.

But I think it's pertinent to recognize why people don't totally denounce FGO in the capacity that other gacha games receive flak for. Fate is a very long running series, and the authors take Fate Grand Order to be another connected massive story in the run of all the other massive stories in Fate series. To be a long-time fate fan and ignore everything happening in FGO, and still have an understanding of the lore, of character development, etc... it's... just not possible. It's not possible to ignore FGO entirely in the grand scheme of being a Fate series fan who is engaged with the story and narratives. I think that if anything, because of these themes and narratives, we should be more demanding, we should ask for better effort, and we should point out issues where they arise, because Fate's themes already insist upon a higher standard -- and we, as fans that care, are the ones to hold them to it, as best as we can, and to do the best we can to insist upon better treatment.

[ohraicodoll]

How would you describe feral!reader's personality?? Her positive and negative traits, that's a great thing to script

Answer if you want!! I love reading your fics, and I love readers who aren't wimps or anything like that.

Thank you!! I'd say some of it is covered in "Monster" but it's hard to put into words exactly what makes things positive and negative. She's very resourceful and quick on her feet, adaptable, is able to focus to the point of it being tunnel vision when something needs to get done, and is kind to those she lets in. She's loyal, so extremely loyal, if you fall into the category of being "her people." She wants to take care of them however she can. This can be a bit of a moral conundrum because she isn't exactly the best moral guiding light. She'll help because she loves them even if its a bad thing. That loyalty and love can also lead to her being extremely selfless to the point of self-destruction, as Joel gets angry at her for. She doesn't care about herself and knows she's a weapon and weapons are meant to be used. Things don't make her squeamish anymore. Violence doesn't affect her. There's a very big disconnect between taking a life and the damage it does to her soul and she's actually okay with that. No sleep is lost. But it means she's very disconnected from normal people and the "old way" of life which makes being in Jackson hard for her. When you survive alone for so long, you feel comfortable with the quiet and Jackson is so noisy. She sees them as easy targets. What does politeness and manners have to do with anything anymore? Hospitality gets you killed. People will inevitably stab you in the back. So living in a commune rubs her the wrong way. She's aware of the difference of who she use to be and who she is now and sometimes feels self-conscious about it. Knows she's not beautiful and bubbly and bright anymore after 20 years. The old her was gentle and loving and affectionate. Someone that would have wanted a family and kids and the whole white-picket life. Maybe someone the old Joel would have wanted. Who she is now is the monster under the bed and who wants to have a family with that? I think that's why she's so protective of Ellie and Joel. They're mirrors of her, but not completely without their empathy and care. They're feral in their own ways, but not as far gone, and it's something she wants to protect desperately. In their group when they're alone in their house, she's softer. Quieter. She likes to be touched, hugged, will sit on the couch with Ellie between her legs and braid her hair so its out of the way when she works at the stables. She cleans all theirs knifes and guns and even trades to get Joel a crafting table put in one of the rooms. She notices small things about them and leaves them where they can find them, never telling them she's doing it. Like if they noticed her tokens of affections, a part of her will be exposed. It's like living with a barn cat that's taken a liking to you. They let her come to them on her own terms, too much affection spooking her. Slowly, day by day, they take care of her in the same way she takes care of them.

[allegraforchrist]

I was curious, out of all the false religions that exist, which one would you say is the worst?

Like, let's say that Scientology is pretty bad. A science fiction writer who said he wanted to get rich by starting his own religion suddenly writes a book about alien ghosts getting blown up in volcanos, and some people are dumb enough to believe this. And it's basically a pyramid scheme with extra steps run by crazy Hollywood celebrities.

But like, is that actually the WORST one? Personally, I would vote for a made up religion that basically exists here on Tumblr called "Queerstake". First, you need to be gullible enough to believe that a known scam artist used his allegedly magic rock to translate an Egyptian manuscript into an entire book that bears no resemblance to the original manuscript. Then you have to overlook that the same scam artist also had 30+ wives. Next you have to overlook that the successor of said scam artist was a racist. And assuming you manage the mental gymnastics to get past all of that, then one day you decide that you are actually super-duper extra gay, and you start a whole new mental gymnastic routine to rewrite the racist scam artist religion to remove the parts about homosexuality being a sin. And naturally Tumblr is the only place where people are pathetic enough to do this! 🤣

Like, take for example this r4cs0 blogger and his lemuel-apologist side blog. This guy says he is going to organize a queer jump humping orgy to protest capitalism!

Hi! Great question. I believe all religions not centered around Christ alone, is a false religion. For me there is no worst one, there’s just worse agendas.

Like the one you’ve kindly explained. Satan will always operate on the fact he can be deceptive and is the king of liars, murders, and thieves. He will do everything to put human worship into anything instead of Christ. That’s what Anti-Christ means, not against Christ, but instead of Christ. Like Islam for example, they praise the god allah and call Jesus a prophet - immediately twisting the truth that Christ died for our sins, and that the only way through the Father, is through Him.

False religion is heartbreaking, and I only feel empathy and grief for people lost in the world and searching for meaning in all the wrong demonic places - as I once was. Some people are aware of the truth, and choose to reject it. Some people aren’t aware of the whole truth, and reject it because it’s been conditioned into them to. Some people don’t want the truth, and God says their wicked time will come and be done upon them.

Extremists, of any kind, is the worst agenda in False religion for me. Especially when that extremism is taken out on the people God tells us to look after and love: outcasts, orphans, windows, Jews, black people, women, prostitutes, the depressed… etc.

And any form of extremism, fueled by the lies and deception of the false religion (witchcraft, New Age, Islam, Buddhism, any ‘Christian’ denomination that rejects the Trinity and Christ) will always have a political agenda to fulfill. And it’s a Satanic agenda: like the orgy for “Capitalism”, the pro-choice movement for abortion, the government funding for minors trans Gender Affirming Care, and the whole Self-help industry to make Satan a god.

And lastly, Scientology is just demonic. Science reveals, to a degree, God’s power and existence. But the faith alone placed in science instead of God, is Satan making another crowd give him a round of applause - and unfortunately the rich and famous are in on it. Unashamed, and unwilling to yield to God’s truth. His Son Jesus Christ.

I suggest listening to Bishop Mari Mari Emmanuel, he makes great sermons about these topics and the agendas of Satan’s false band of religions!

[mobolanz]

Saw you'd like to get some asks in your inbox (I am a bit late, sorry D:) and the following question automaticlly came to my mind: If Evelyn, Cecille and Mia were just human likes us, living on planet heart, who do you think you'd like to be friends with the most? Any that you would avoid being friends with? 👀

Ohhh that's an interesting question!

Tbh I'd probably dismiss the who I'd avoid part because had they been unlikeable to me I wouldn't have indulged so much in their characterization to begin with. (Off topic: after noticing some parallels with him, Evelyn made me like a male character from another anime I initially disliked intensely! Like wow xD). Even flaws wise or what might be deemed unlikeable to others, it's strongly influenced by struggles I myself had so if anything it'd make me relate and want to help them out in whatever way possible. Or I'd at least acknowledge in cases like Evelyn's it's mostly out of good intent and people are already pretty harsh about it so no need to be a hypocrite on my part of add gasoline to the fire.

For Evelyn I'd quote here: I’ll have to say my immediate response is a yes. In fact I don’t see why not. She’s very polite and got a strong sense of respect empathy and consideration overall Non-judgemental outlook when approaching others it’s only natural to treat her the same if you’re close enough. Very self aware and observant too. Plus even if the approach would be flawed in one way or another I’d personally still appreciate it knowing she means well. So I’ll have to say yes, I don’t see any particular thing I personally would dislike in having a person like her around 🤧💞

In fact, with someone like that I'd be surprised anyone even chooses to mistreat and it's as if they're purposely looking for tidbits to get upset over. So you could imagine my surprise were I to find out her family biological and adoptive alike fall to that category. I actually would love to listen if she does want to open up about it without fear of it leaking to unwanted people. Like that's the least I could do if anything. She'd have done the same.

For Cecille, in earlier drafts like I mentioned in previous her and Evelyn were originally sisters , and not holding any sense of resentment whatsoever even after their ties were cut,,, so I figure that in villainy-free normal life she'd be pretty much that, if anything the sort of bond I'd have wanted around too. Mostly introverted and intimidating still but once being close with her one can overlook that 😆😆😆 (plus she'd probably understand my recent case of Somniphobia and say something that'd probably ease it xP )

Mia's turn! Ah yes the character that embodies everything that is my taste in beauty and obsession with small details. We could be talking for hours on what we find pretty, especially jewelry, and maybe even some painting sessions!:3 also makes the easiest one to figure what to get her for a gift/ what gifts to expect from her.

So this is pretty much it :3

[misanthropicvampire]

3, 12, 13, 20, 22

3. do I care about being a good person? why/why not?

difficult question and entirely depends on my current mental state. if I had to try to be as objective as possible, I care to an extent, and that extent is likely a lot lower than other people's. I do have my own personal values or code of conduct that I'm unlikely to break, certain lines that I won't cross, but my morality tends to be very conditional, depending on who the person is and how they're treating me. so far in my life I've found that I rarely feel guilt for my actions, and the times that I believe I have felt guilt have actually been irritation at the negative consequences for myself. generally I don't think that I'm evil, and there are many worse people than myself, but neither do I think that I'm especially virtuous.

12. what is my worst trait that affects me?

in day to day interactions, my unconscious arrogance and lack of interest in other people can make forming connections difficult. I usually have to resort to a very restricted, polite mask that doesn't allow me to genuinely communicate with anyone in order to hide my natural attitude/reactions, which most people find rude, pretentious or dismissive.

13. what is my best trait that benefits me?

the thing I get the most out of from npd is an ability to control my attachments, remain immune to other people's emotional manipulation (due to a lack of empathy), and not have to worry about a lack of confidence regarding my abilities. obviously this depends on if I'm currently crashing or not, but when I'm in a high period, the sense of control that I feel over my life and relationships has saved me from a lot of grief.

20. is there a trait from my cluster B disorder I really wish I didn't have?

there are quite a few undesirable traits that come with npd, but for me my main ones are anger management issues/general pessimism/overabundance of negative emotions, a lack of self sufficiency when it comes to feeling pleased and satisfied with myself, intense jealousy, and unconquerable emotional detachment from others, a.k.a not being able to conceive of other viewpoints or recognise that other people have their own internal lives. delusions of grandeur also lead to a lot of disappointment, and can be infuriating because I'm never aware that my expectations are unreasonable until I'm let down again.

22. do I have a hierarchy of how I view people? if yes, what do the 'levels' look like to me?

yes, definitely. I don't generally think about this in detail or consciously move people up and down the 'levels' but, if I had to label them like a pyramid, beginning from the very bottom:

• background noise/cardboard cutouts - the majority of people; I rarely notice or remember any defining features about them and have to be actively encouraged to give them a second thought.

• minor irritants - nothing personal, I've just noticed certain behaviours or mannerisms from them that get on my nerves. I tolerate their company but that's all it is, toleration.

• active dislike - the reason that they're higher up on this imaginary pyramid is that they're able to provoke a reaction in me. I still don't usually think about them unless prompted, but can't be around them without immense stress or having an outburst.

• neutral zone - I'm aware of their existence and remember basic facts about them but they mean very little to me and I would not notice if they became absent from my life. I have no opinion on them one way or another so they place higher as I won't mind their company.

• vague affection - I don't mind their company and would gravitate towards them if there was no one else around who placed higher in the pyramid, but again, I wouldn't feel much of anything about their absence.

• fondness - where most friends that I've had lie; I actively seek out their company and can appreciate a few aspects of their personality. they're useful to have around and I'd feel let down if they disappeared.

• pet - I've accepted them as an extension of myself for the time being and, like the label suggests, view them as other people probably would a pet, something that's comforting and a companion.

• true equal/chosen person - rare for me, only about two people have been placed here to my knowledge, but a chosen person for me is someone that I view as equally conscious and deserving as myself.

[kylejsugarman]

SUPERSTORE AUTISM HEADCANONS

Dina

* Good at math

* To the point of being able to do basic math in her head

* 198+535? Give her 5 seconds.

* Math always came easy to her

* Good at learning music

* Learned guitar very quickly

* Also can play piano

* She’s a very skilled singer despite never having lessons

* Bad at reading social cues

* She’s not bothered by this, and she doesn’t care. It’s not her fault neurotypical bitches make things so complicated.

* Dislikes physical affection

* She only sometimes tolerates, depending on who they’re from

* She’s okay with being touched, but she doesn’t particularly enjoy it

* She doesn’t know pop culture

* She does, however, know the most random niche information, and is appalled when others don’t also know the random trivia she knows.

* Stims

* Making noises vocally

* Jumping

* Waving her arms

* Does not bother masking most times

* She does it so rarely that it’s very obvious when she is masking

* Special Interests

* Birds

* Security

* Knives

* Low empathy

* Strong sense of right and wrong

* Usually this is in a rule sense, but there are a few cases where her morals don’t align with rules, and she breaks them to stick with said morals.

* Biggest example in my opinion is her efforts to keep Mateo from getting detained

* Coping methods

* Sex

* Hitting and breaking things

* Hates changes in routine

Jonah

* Bad at reading social cues

* In denial over his struggles with reading them, thinking he’s great at it, when in fact he’s exactly the opposite

* Implying he’s bad at reading social clues will offend him

* He cannot stop masking

* He doesn’t realize he’s masking, but he was raised to mask his entire life, so it’s just normal to him

* He is always exhausted because of this

* Stims

* Moving his hands or arms in any way

* Twirling pens

* Repeating words

* Loves physical affection

* To the point of pushing it, and not noticing when it’s too much

* He gives hugs a lot

* Special interests

* The Americans

* Politics

* Musical Theatre

* Constellations

* Horses

* High empathy

* Strong sense of right and wrong

* Coping mechanisms

* Comfort shows

* Talking about it

* Or yelling if he needs to

* Quiet alone time

* He enjoys changes in his routine

Eric

* Bad at reading social cues

* Literally the worst

* He knows this to an extent but he’s not aware of just how bad he is at it

* Loves physical affection

* But he’s picky on who he’s affectionate with

* He does mask

* However, he unmasks around his safe people (Mateo, Amy, etc)

* He doesn’t really have the proper terminology for it but he’s sort of aware when he needs to put up a nice face or where he can just be stoic

* He’s good with eye contact and doesn’t hate it

* Stims

* Biting/Chewing

* Clicking pens

* Anything he can busy his hands with actually

* Whistling

* High empathy

* Special Interests

* Plants

* Specifically succulents

* Trains

* This one is literally so self indulgent but I don’t care lmao

* Baking

* Giraffes

* Weather

* Likes to sit on the floor

* Disassociates a lot

* Dislikes changes in routine

* Coping mechanisms

* Rocking

* Hugging his giraffe stuffy

* Baking

so obsessed with these and how u think about them, they really are So Autistic in such different and varied ways.....this is a wonderful reading of those characters and its so fun to really explore their behavior thru the lens of being aggressively neurodivergent

[ch3rryb0mb3rr]

anytime I see anything political on tumblr I get so pissed at my AP human geo teacher (who I will have next year for AP world history (a.k.a AP European history) I fucking hate ap classes). It reminds me of when she said she ‘doesn’t like the term equity’ and misspoke about countries ‘helping’ other countries. I was so excited that ‘omg not all governments are bad and not all of them only care about power and being rich’ and then she decided to belittle me in front of the entire class because I misunderstood what she was saying. I genuinely get upset whenever anything reminds of her backwards views, And am still so surprised about how someone could take AP human geography, learn exactly how other countries shove each other down and the systems and abuse the lower class and why and somehow not be radicalized.

I might even be getting the watered down version of it because I’m in high school and the U.S loves lying to it’s students and telling a white washed watered down version of history than what actually fucking happened. I’m am genuinely shocked at the things she has said, despite the subject she’s teaching. Completely shocked about how I was seemingly the only person in my entire class who was radicalized (even more than I already was) by her teaching and what we were learning.

How do those other students sit there, learning about how our government doesn’t give a shit about us, and how it will actively harm us and others and still be anything but a leftist/socialist/etc. when leaving that room. How do those motherfuckers stay conservatives and hateful bigots when she literally says and agrees that the government will pit us against each other to control us better. How does she agree to that and yet is still a bigot?? And still has the superiority complex that comes sometimes comes with understanding you have privilege??

It’s so shocking to me that people are so self-aware that they are being horrible or are genuinely a horrible person and do NOTHING to try and change it. Like wdym you know your a misogynistic asshole who actively defends a human trafficker, and you are actively aware your being an asshole and hurting your friends and not do anything about it. How do you walk around and exist without feeling so guilty for one wring thing you did years ago?? How??

How can you still teach knowing damn well you villainize people in the Middle East, KNOWING THAT THE GOVERNMENT AND MEDIA ACTIVELY VILLINAIZE THEM SO THAT CAN CONTINUE TO COMMIT ATROCITIES. How can you sit there, tell me to my face that ‘socialist governments would never work and capitalism is the only way’ when you are aware that we have no examples of a good socialists government because the U.S either bombed them, or over through their government and implemented a puppet version and then created terrorist organizations that then backfired and ruined an entire countries economy and government and their society. Like what?? Your aware your spreading misinformation and yet refuse to stop? Even thought you have an active choice to do so? It’s just so confusing.

It also just completely blows my mind that you can allow your child to have hateful views, and just, not do anything about it. That some people will just let their children be blatantly homophobic and transphobic to other family members (when they as the parents are not) and see no problem in it because ‘it’s their opinion’ No its not?? Their ‘opinion’ is actively hurting others?? No its not okay that your child has 0 media literacy, threatens to hunt down and kill other family members, has a superiority complex, and has not only 0 empathy (which isn’t a bad thing, I also have very low empathy) but also 0 compassion for others??? It’s not okay that your child literally only cares when it applies to them??

Having low or no empathy is not a bad thing in itself, but have 0 compassion is. Compassion is the act while empathy is the thought. You could go around having the most horrid thoughts but your actions are of a good person it doesn’t matter. You could go around having the most kind and pure thoughts ever and be a complete asshole and those ‘thoughts’ are nothing and mean nothing because you did not act on them.

[casspurrjoybell-31]

The Consort's Fate - Chapter 2 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Brayden

'They have taken surprising liberties over the past five years.'

The discussion disbands as we reach a small cottage near the west side of the market and Kelly leads us to the back.

Blue, paint-chipped shutters are nailed shut and the cobblestone steps leading to the door are cracked and weathered.

I deduce the shabby exterior is either a product of minimal means of upkeep or a purposeful way to keep passerby attention at bay.

A young brunette opens the door and welcomes us inside, expecting our arrival.

Her light eyes glance over me with innocent curiosity.

"You must be Brayden," she whispers, extending a hand in introduction.

"I've heard so much about you. I'm Maggie but please just call me Mags."

I take her delicate palm in mine, shaking it once, before placing a single kiss atop her hand.

Kelly closes the door, wasting no time moving around us and making himself comfortable on her couch.

Maggie's gaze follows him and lingers a moment too long to be considered platonic.

"It is a pleasure," I respond.

"Though, I assure you, there is little to no validity in whatever you have heard about me if he was your source."

I nod towards Kelly and Mags blushes, suppressing a small laugh.

She shuffles towards the kitchen and asks over her shoulder if she can get us anything.

There's a pause and she pops her head back into the living room.

"I have a blood bag in the freezer too, Brayden," she whispers.

"Of course, I bought it months ago from a friend, as to not attract attention. I'm not sure if it'll be freezer burned but it's here."

I hold up a hand and politely decline.

How hospitable.

I can only imagine what the human species thinks of vampires now that the dust has settled on the war from years ago.

Is there a lingering animosity towards our kind?

Indifference?

Curiosity?

We are all but extinct now but the war resulted in humankind losing even more of their freedom becoming subjected to an era of Secondary monarchy fueled by a collective mentality of jealousy and self-righteousness.

Still, there is a gentle kindness and genuine empathy which exudes from Maggie.

Regardless of the circumstances of her kind, she is putting others before herself, fighting for a cause she believes in, even if it means living in a state of perpetual danger.

Such a thing is a rarity indeed and witnessing it is a nostalgic reminder to the very reason behind my fight as well.

For him.

Kelly calls after Maggie and my escaping thoughts dissolve to the present.

He inquiries about the remains of an egg and potato concoction, adding that it is 'thanks to her cooking that his six pack is looking closer to a keg' whatever that means.

She titters at the compliment and reassures him 'there is plenty left.'

"It appears your time in the market is spent a bit differently than I imagined," I muse quietly, taking a seat beside him on the couch.

A faint blush creeps into his cheeks before he shrugs.

"Being around her is refreshing. Besides, I could use the company. I mean, look who my alternative is."

He smirks at his witty rebuttal, though it comes off as nothing more than an ill-attempt to mask his emotions.

He is very aware of Maggie's emotion towards him, he is simply ignoring them.

I cut my gaze to the kitchen, where Maggie hums and twirls about the ceramic tiles.

Her brown tendrils bounce to her movements and with every exhale, the very space around her brightens, clinging to the remains of her energy like an invisible lifeline.

"She is quite lovely," I say, testing the waters.

"And it appears she fancies you."

Kelly's lips thin to a mulish line.

I have hit a nerve.

He grinds his teeth as he works out a response.

"My goal is to save Finn and get these Secondary assholes out of power. I'm not clouding my judgement with romance. The last time I did that, it nearly cost me my life."

"It was not the romance that nearly cost you your life," I correct.

"But rather the person you chose to bestow your affections. Not all of them will have such a painful ending."

Kelly shakes his head slowly.

"All due respect, B-D, you haven't seen your man in three years and who knows how he'll be when he gets out? After Finn is safely out of the Secondary fortress and things start looking up, that's when we can revisit this discussion. Until then, I'm not chancing it."

A bitter sadness sours his previously unaffected tone.

Despite humans and their fleeting emotions, heartbreak appears to be one that lingers.

I am keenly aware of the effect Fiona still has on Kelly's heart.

Many nights his subconscious reminds him of her and his cries and screams bleed into the silence of the night.

Maggie breezes into the living room with a small platter of snacks.

She only manages to get it on the table when I hear soft footsteps nearing the back door.

My senses focus on the intruder.

Their blood scent is weak, indicating a Secondary.

A succinct knock raps against the wooden door and Maggie tenses.

Only a beat of charged silence passes before she rushes to the door and looks through the small viewing hole.

She nods to Kelly over her shoulder before turning and pulling the handle.

"Welcome, welcome," she greets with a genuine... albeit nervous... smile.

"We've been expecting you."

The woman at the threshold steps inside.

Long, blonde hair frames a face of heavily painted, angular features.

Her eyes dance around the room and it is only when she locks eyes with me that I recognize the Secondary behind the disguise.

It's Tegan.

[ellaintrigue]

TIME AND PLACE (And, yes, the joke is a bit misogynistic but we're talking about boomers here lol.)

I saw this cartoon the other day and chuckled. This was my mom and grandmother's favorite joke actually! Mom told my grandmother, "why is being a hooker better than being a drug dealer? Because you can wash your crack and use it again!" The two women cackled away.

But they wouldn't have told this joke in church or in front of strangers. It's okay to have a dirty mind and free speech but you must use respect when exercising both.

I am by no means trying to promote the criminal element but as I've said, I date them. And I also meet a lot of non-criminal varieties who sleep with a lot of women, which aren't really my type. So why is it that most of these men are way more respectful to me than the good old country boys who work hard and live respectable lives??

I feel it is a matter of socialization. I am an uneducated rural woman but I have self-awareness and empathy. These things don't get taught when you grow up on a farm and are only exposed to your family and a handful of locals.

As a result, nearly every time I talk to a rural blue collar man, I hear the worst ignorance. I am not talking about them directly cussing me out or insulting me but they think it's okay to comment on big tits or make sexual jokes to women they barely know. And I know it's because they grew up sheltered and still are.

I dated one in 2021 and he said he went to a party, a woman farted, and he started yelling to everyone, "THIS BITCH FARTED." I said, why did you repeatedly call her a bitch? He was from the Rockies, WV. He said he thought bitch was just another name for woman. He actually listened to me and realized it wasn't respectful and corrected himself.

Earlier this year I met a man from a tiny rural Virginia town bordering WV. Very rough around the edges, uneducated, bad teeth. He was polite and kind but then a few days in he randomly told me he had a big penis. Okay? See, I'm not a prude, but I don't want any man I don't know coming at me talking about sex or his genitals. And he wasn't trying to be disrespectful, he was just plain ignorant. I saw his father's profile on Facebook and it was a bunch of right wing posts and pictures of busty women with captions like, "look at her floatation devices, she won't drown!"

I let it slide and he didn't say anything else sexual until the next day when he said, "your tripod is home from work ha ha." I blocked him. I don't care if he had a big dick, that's not how you respectfully address a woman you are trying to get to know. And he didn't know any better, that's just how his father had raised him.

As for the felons and manwhores? My theory is that they have been around enough people to learn social skills, even if it wasn't always good people. For instance prison is the worst place in the world but it seems some of these men come out of it knowing how they DON'T want to be treated and they apply that to how they treat others. Meanwhile if they had just stayed home on the farm all their lives with mom and pop and the farmhands they would still think it was acceptable to talk about bitches and tits in front of everyone. And the promiscious men? They've learned what women like because you don't get in a woman's pants by calling her a bitch and randomly leering at her breasts in public.

That's just my theory. Isolation is never good. I'm an introvert myself but in life you really have to get out, be around people, and be in social situations so you know how to act right. Because being around a small handful of people with no social skills is just going to turn you into one of them

I'd rather deal with a guy with no father who has lived on the streets and experienced life rather than a guy with a father who has been exposed to nothing but stacking hay and being taught lewd comments towards women.