#no but really thank you for giving me my whole entire life michael no joke

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Top 100 Movies #25 - #1

100 - 76

75 - 51

50 - 26

So this right here is what I really wanted to talk about. These are the 25 movies that I hold nearest and dearest to my heart, the ones that mean the most to me, the ones that have influenced my tastes and the sort of things I like to see more than any other. Some are older films, some are pretty recent, but all of them represent what I think is the very best of their kind.

And yes, I could have just talked about these in the first place without doing all those other movies... But I'm the movie guy around here, so I felt like it would be more fun to give you a window into my taste in film. Anyway, here are the final movies:

25. Hercules

What happens when you throw Greek mythology, gospel music, the animator from The Wall, and Superman into a blender? You have Disney’s most bizarre and ambitious musical. It was a bold move taking Greek myths and sanitizing them to a mild degree(there’s no incest, rape, and infidelity but there is death and attempted infanticide!), a move that pissed off Greece for disrespecting their mythology, but come on. Lighten the fuck up. The whole point of myths and legends is to allow storytellers to embellish and alter details as they see fit for their vision. This take is no more or less valid than any other, though considering it has James Woods portraying Hades like a sleazy used car salesman trying to screw you out of your life savings, I’d say it has the edge over everything save the game Hades.

24. Clash of the Titans

As a child, this is the movie that got me into Greek mythology. It’s also the movie that got me into stop motion animation, which to this day remains one of my favorite forms of animation. And then it’s also the movie that gave me horrible nightmares, because that Medusa sequence is fucking terrifying. Ray Harryhausen delivers some of the best animation of his entire career here, and he singlehandedly propelled Medusa into the limelight; she wasn’t a household name prior to this film, but you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who hasn’t at least heard her name now. It also helped greatly alter the public perception of what a kraken is, and may have convinced people it’s a Greek creation. For a cheesy cult classic of a film, the impact this has is impressive, but even if it was just me and five other people who knew this movie existed I’d still love it all the same.

23. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

This is essentially a Shakesperean play, but with apes. The sheer amount of drama is incredible, and the stunning work at bringing the apes to life shows that human ingenuity will achieve the best results when it comes to rendering monkeys. Caesar is a fantastic and compelling lead of course, played perfectly by Andy Serkis, the man who somehow doesn’t have an Oscar, but I think the real star of the show is the villainous Koba. Never has a chimp been so horrifically and unrepentantly evil while also being heartbreakingly tragic. He also rides a horse while dual wielding guns and then hijacks a tank. That is literally one of the most badass visuals ever put to film.

22. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

A lot of people view this movie as the weakest of the trilogy, and while I obviously don’t agree I can kind of see it. The first act has its moments, but I think it’s a bit too slow and repeats a few too many jokes from the first film. But as soon as Ego hits the scene, the film goes into maximum overdrive and delivers a far better and funnier experience than the first film. Ego is one of the most heinous and captivating villains in all of comic book cinema thanks to Kurt Russell, but frankly it’s former side characters turned major players Yondu and Nebula who steal the show, as both are given a lot more to do and thus a lot more depth. The latter’s relationship with Gamora is explored quite a bit more and they’re even given a reconciliation, while the former gets a strong emotional arc and redemption while also pushing the development of the trilogy’s true main character Rocket to the next level. He also gets to massacre an entire ship full of goons in one of the MCU’s most epic sequences. And as if all this isn’t enough, this movie has the single best soundtrack of the Guardians trilogy; hard not to when you have Fleetwood Mac and George Harrison on it. The only thing that’s missing is “Come and Get Your Love.”

21. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

I like most of the other Star Wars films; there’s maybe only two I consider outright bad, and even then one of them is more “messy and mediocre” than “awful.” But there is no way in Hell I’d ever even consider an argument that Star Wars ever got better than this. It has the battle of Hoth, the Wampa, Han hiding in the asteroid, Lando, Yoda, Han being frozen in carbonite, Boba Fett… And then capping everything off is one of the single greatest plot twists in cinematic history and a pretty dark ending for this sort of series, though one tempered by hope that the day can be saved. This is what Star Wars is all about right here, and the series has yet to ever produce anything that quite matches this in terms of sheer quality.

20. Dune: Part Two

Ok, that’s enough about the sci-fi for kids; it’s a real man’s sci-fi movie now! The first film was good and all, but I felt like it was slowly paced and a bit too heavy on exposition and worldbuilding without much excitement. This film fixes that; it keeps all of the exposition and worldbuilding, but it intersperses a lot more exciting setpieces and brings in Feyd-Rautha, who steals every scene he’s in even if he isn’t wearing those crazy space panties like when Sting played him. Of course, the real draw of the film is watching the well-meaning but vengeful Paul buy into his own hype as a means of survival and slowly descend from a decent guy in a bad situation to a villainous terrorist messiah with a god complex. The fact this movie ends on a triumph that would be the end of any other series but paints the victory with the blackest brush really has me excited for where the third chapter will go. What can I say? I’m a sucker for movies with big worms.

19. The Incredibles

Pixar had made plenty of compelling narratives about things like toys, bugs, monsters, and fish before this one, so it was only a matter of time before they tackled humans. I think there was probably a worry there, considering the humans in the original Toy Story looked really ugly and while the second one showed improvement it wasn’t all the way there yet. But making the novel decision to stylize the characters a la Team Fortress 2 proved the way to go to tell this story that’s a blend between James Bond, Watchmen, and the Fantastic Four. The characters and their struggles are relatable and grounded in reality despite their superpowers, and the movie is absolutely not afraid to get dark in ways you wouldn’t expect from an early Pixar movie, mostly courtesy of one of cinema’s greatest villains, Syndrome. Throw on top of it a Michael Giacchino score that helped launch his composing career into the sky and a hilarious minor role for director Brad Bird as the super suit designer Edna Mode, and you have what is inarguably Pixar’s best movie.

18. Pulp Fiction

I go back and forth a lot over whether this or Kill Bill are my favorite of Tarantino’s work, but I inevitably always land back on this one. Sure, the latter film is fun, violent, and action-packed, but this movie here is more quintessentially Tarantino. It has non-linear storytelling, with chapters bouncing around time to deliver a fascinating tale of criminals trying to outwit each other. It has an all-star cast of actors giving it their all, with defining performances for Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Uma Thurman, and Ving Rhames among many others (plus a demented Christopher Walken cameo). It has an awesome soundtrack, it has black comedy, it has meandering conversations that reveal a lot about the personality of the speaker, it has copious use of the N-word (sometimes even straight from Tarantino’s own mouth), and of course it has plenty of shots of women’s feet. This is Tarantino in his purest form, and it still holds up as one of the greatest masterpieces of the 90s.

17. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

I didn’t know if I’d be thrown into the same sort of blissful ecstasy that Hideo Kojima was while watching this, but let me tell you that this was such a fucking amazing movie I just had to rewatch Fury Road right after. As far as origin stories go, it is genuinely hard to get better than this, which not only showcases Furiosa’s backstory and her rise to her position as seen in Fury Road, it also showcases a younger Immortan Joe and the depths of his evil as we see he once had a son named Scrotus. Who the fuck names their kid that besides the most depraved villain imaginable? But quite frankly the real star of this show is Chris Hemsworth as Dementus, a villain who is as stupid and pitiful as he is depraved and cunning. It is absolutely astounding seeing him act his balls off after watching him sleepwalk through mediocre Thor and Ghostbuster movies. If you ever thought he might not actually be that good of an actor, you need to sit your ass down and watch this movie.

16. Deadpool & Wolverine

I think it is extremely easy to pick this apart when you take this film at face value, because on the surface the narrative is kind of flimsy and the emotional core just isn’t there. Like, why should we give a shit about this brand new Wolverine’s plight, moping over the deaths of a version of the X-Men we’ve never seen? But this isn’t a movie we should be taking literally; this movie is a metaphor for a lot of things, from the very nature of the Fox Marvel films and their messy and convoluted timelines to the literal idea of Wolverine as a cash cow box office draw. But most importantly, this is a superhero movie that is a love letter to unloved superhero films, a heartfelt sendoff telling them that even if they weren’t great, they had maximum effort put into them. Think of all the crossover characters and how they’re from failed franchises or unmade projects; no one was clamoring to see Elektra, and hardly anyone would know Channing Tatum was ever meant to play Gambit. But these characters are implemented in such a way where it’s clear that whatever audiences thought, Reynolds certainly saw some value in them. As someone who loves watching dogshit movies and seeing if they’re really that bad, this plot definitely speaks to me. As a straight Deadpool film this doesn’t work, but as a fond farewell to Fox’s time making Marvel movies and an entry point for Deadpool to join the MCU, this is one hell of a great film. You will come out of it wanting Cassandra Nova to stick her fingers in your brain, though. Fair warning.

15. Poor Things

If Barbie is the film equivalent of an “intro to feminism” course, this is the advanced placement course. This is an impressive allegory about the objectification of women and how they seek agency in a society that so desperately wants to force them to be something whether they like it or not. Emma Stone gives an absolutely insane performance, and it’s genuinely hard to deny she actually deserved the Oscar after seeing how mind-bogglingly demanding this role must have been. Mark Ruffalo, too, shows off his long-dormant acting chops, flexing his comedic muscles after being stuck as a supporting CGI giant in Avengers movies with zero hope of a solo film. The colors, the dialogue, the score, it all comes together to make one of the most striking films in recent memory.

14. The Thing

John Carpenter made one of the few movies I have ever had to look away from on my first viewing, sitting alongside Breaking Dawn – Part 1 and Cannibal Holocaust in that illustrious category. The effects here are beautifully gruesome, with some of the most delightfully monstrous bits of body horror you could ever hope to see. The plot is fantastic, with the paranoia and fear that breaks down even these toughest of men being something that leads to a lot of applicability (it’s easy to read this movie as a metaphor for the AIDS crisis, for instance). And best of all this film features amazing performances from Kurt Russell and Keith David, some of the best of careers that are stacked high with amazing roles. Carpenter had a pretty flawless run of films in the 80s, but this right here is his magnum opus.

13. A Clockwork Orange

I love films that are character studies of horribly repugnant individuals, and there are few better films of that sort than Kubrick’s crowning achievement. Malcolm McDowell makes Alex DeLarge into one of the most captivating monsters ever put to screen, a villain who at times exudes an almost human warmness before committing a depraved crime and slipping back into psychotic coldness, sometimes complete with a chilling Kubrick stare. I think my only real issue with this film is that it just sort of ends without any clear resolution, something the novel actually gave, but considering I found that book unreadable I can live with it.

12. American Psycho

A Clockwork Orange is fantastic, but Alex can be a bit too charismatic for his own good. I like a character study of an awful person who is just a complete void of personality, a wretched, miserable, evil person who is also utterly vapid and hollow by design… and boy howdy is Patrick Bateman the guy to scratch that itch! Christian Bale gives easily the best performance of his career, and keep in mind this is a guy who refuses to not act his pussy off in every film he stars in. His Bateman has that surface level sheen of charm and charisma that only barely masks the fact he is nothing but a soulless husk of a human being who revels in killing/fantasizing about killing to fill the empty void of his life since he’s an overly-privileged yuppie piece of shit, The fact that they even managed to take an astoundingly unfilmable novel and translate it so well to screen is astounding, and they even kept in all of Patrick’s rambling music monologues! And if nothing else, this film does do one of my absolute favorite things a movie can do: Show Jared Leto getting brutalized.

11. The Suicide Squad

DC’s movies generally sucked, and Suicide Squad is generally seen as a failure. With these two facts in mind, it was easy to be apprehensive about the at-the-time disgraced former Marvel director James Gunn’s try at taking a bunch of D-list villains and sending them on a suicide mission. But unlike Ayer, Gunn understood the assignment, and delivered his trademark superhero found family goodness with all the cathartic freedom an R-rating could give a Troma alumni. There’s blood, gore, and swearing, but there’s also a ton of heart (and not just the one Peacemaker stabs). John Cena gives the best performance of his career and one who would continue to improve upon in his spin-off, and for once Sylvester Stallone nails comedy as the dopey juggernaut King Shark. It’s a movie wholly unafraid to embrace the silliest aspects of comics (giant alien starfish, villains who control rats, Polka Dot Man) while also engaging with mature and serious themes while using said aspects. And after her previous ensemble outing with the Birds of Prey, it’s nice to see Harley truly back in her groove and getting to live out a Lollipop Chainsaw level.

10. Drive

Ryan Gosling cemented himself as a star in my mind with this movie. A pitch perfect neo-noir with a godly soundtrack, excellent atmosphere, and gripping plot, this might be my favorite movie that I just can’t bring myself to ramble about; like Ryan Gosling in the movie, I just have so little to say. I guess maybe he is literally me after all!

9. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

It’s kind of impressive how this movie pulls the rug out from under you and reveals this whole time, the trilogy has been about Rocket. It all makes sense in hindsight, of course; he has one of the clearest arcs of any of the Guardians and probably the most bombastic personality of the group after all. But the places this movie goes to show why he is the way he is… man. This one has some of the most crushingly sad scenes in any superhero movie even if you know they’re coming, and also one of the few cool action scenes in any Marvel movie. It also has the most nasty villain imaginable in the High Evolutionary, who despite being wholly evil with motives that aren’t too complex manages to be entertaining and engaging. The soundtrack is good (not as good as the last one, though) and the comedy is solid, and the way this movie ends leaves it so that even if we never see any of these characters again, we know they all got a satisfying sendoff. Isn’t it nice, when things end and we get some level of closure?

8. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Henry Selick worked miracles translating Tim Burton’s macabre holiday mashup fairy tale into glorious stop motion animation. It’s a film that really is greater than the sum of its parts; the story is relatively simple, the message is pretty heavy-handed, and the villain is in two or three scenes and barely effects the plot. But it’s all so visually interesting, all the performances are stellar, and all the songs are so damn good that it’s incredibly easy not to care and just get sucked into the weird and spooky world of Halloweentown. Every Halloween and every Christmas I would get my parents to rent this from Blockbuster, and I would watch it over and over… I loved it from the first time I watched it. And imagine my joy when, the first time I sat my daughter down to watch it so she’d quiet down and relax, she had her eyes glued to the screen in awe. Like father, like daughter. Love of this film is hereditary.

7. The Silence of the Lambs

This is the greatest thriller ever made in my eyes; as far as murder mystery stories go, nothing even comes close. The plot, the setup, the mystery, the killer are all so well done, and Jodie Foster really sells her role as a young woman struggling to be taken seriously in her field while also having a steely resolve that keeps her from coming off as a helpless damsel. But it is Sir Anthony Hopkins with his limited screentime as Hannibal Lecter who truly steals the show, portraying a villain who is cunning, classy, and creepy all at once. His nightmarish jail break is something else entirely. Of course, everyone heaps lavish praise on Hopkins, so I’m going to highlight Ted Levine as the deranged Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb. While his depiction may come across as a bit problematic in some areas due to omission of a lot of context from the novels, he still manages to be incredibly eerie and fascinating. Hard to hate the guy who introduced me to “Goodbye Horses.”

6. Evil Dead II

The first film was a straight-up horror movie, and Army of Darkness was a wacky fantasy action comedy. In between those two came this, a perfect blend of both horror and comedy and a true showcase of Sam Raimi’s directing skills. Impressively, it manages to outdo its predecessor in horror and its successor in terms of laughs, truly managing to be the best of both worlds with its surreal black comedy that hearkens back to movies like House. Bruce Campbell is truly at the top of his game here as well, with the iconic Ash we saw in Army of Darkness fully formed after his experience in this film. Truly a film that earns the right to call itself… Groovy.

5. The Princess Bride

This is my mom’s favorite movie, so I got to watch it a lot growing up; it should come as no surprise it also ended up as one of my favorites. It’s hard to think of a single film with a better script than this one; almost every line of dialogue is iconic, and all of them are delivered perfectly by one of the most impressive casts imaginable. Before we had Bautista and Cena, we had Andre the Giant in a wrestler-turned-actor role giving his all and making Fezzik one of the most lovable characters in fiction. But it’s hard to really single him out when literally everyone is great—there’s not a single weak link in the whole cast. Even the framing device, the easiest part to fuck up for a film like this, has motherfucking Peter Falk as the narrator. This is one of the few films I can honestly say is about as close to perfect as a film can get.

4. The Lighthouse

Robert Eggers is probably my favorite name in modern horror, and it’s almost entirely thanks to this film right here. It combines the surreal, black-and-white dreamy horror of stuff like Eraserhead with delightfully batshit performances from Robbert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe and brings us an intimate, claustrophobic picture of two men going mad from isolation… maybe. There’s so much beautiful ambiguity here, so much to ponder even after the film is over. Is the ending meant t be taken at face value? Which of these men is actually lying? Is everything happening just mundane sea issues or is it an oceanic curse? There’s a lot of ways to think about and interpret this movie, and that’s what I love about it. Each viewing gives me more to chew on, and more for me to consider when I try and make sense of some of the bewildering things shown.

3. Mad Max: Fury Road

I don’t think there are really any action movies that are quite as thrilling as this one. Like, okay, the movie right after this one is also a thrilling action movie, but I love it for different reasons than this one. This has some of the most insane stunts and pyrotechnics around. There’s a dude with a flamethrower guitar, for crying out loud! But even that aside, there’s a pretty solid plot with a feminist slant to it, featuring a villainous character turning good and redeeming himself through viewing women as human. Tom Hardy’s take on Max is a fierce reclamation of the character from the grubby hands of the vile Mel Gibson, and he is a deeply important character even if he doesn’t talk much. That’s another great thing about this—These characters don’t always need words to communicate their ideas, sometimes their looks, their actions, and their grunts are enough to tell us all we need to know. If I have any criticism at all it’s that this film only rarely slows down—but even when it does it’s still fantastic.

2. John Wick

The sequels got bigger and crazier with their action setpieces and choreography, veering into almost fantasy levels of gun-fu and violence. And I love the second and fourth films a lot (the third is okay, but it feels like spinning the wheels a bit too much), but I still think the first film is entirely unmatched. It has a much darker atmosphere, between the lower stakes plot and the more ambiguous and mysterious nature of the world. Keanu Reeves finally shook off decades of being called a wooden actor with this, channeling his talent into either simple yet effective replies or the most snarling affirmations of bloody vengeance; his “I’m thinking I’m back” speech is short, sweet, and effective at not only establishing Wick isn’t fucking around (something we know full well but it’s nice to hear) but at showing us that Reeves himself is back in the limelight as well. This is so close to being my favorite film of all time, but there’s one movie I like more… and when you see what it is I’m sure you’ll get why this only takes home the silver.

1. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

For the longest time, this was the installment in Peter Jackson’s fantasy epic that I was the least impressed with, preferring the more epic The Two Towers and especially The Return of the King. But upon rewatching them all after the birth of my daughter, I had the same sort of realization I did with the John Wick movies: The first movie just can’t be beat precisely because it isn’t so overbearingly epic in every regard. Oh, don’t misunderstand me, though—this movie is still epic when it needs to be. How can it not be when it has Gandalf fighting the Balrog? But it has moments where we get to see Middle Earth without constant wars and fighting. Hell, a big chunk of the first act is the hobbits chilling in the Shire before Gandalf drags them off on the mission. Literally my only issue with this movie is that there isn’t any Gollum in it aside from a cameo, but that is the most minor of nitpicks for what is easily the greatest fantasy film ever made and one that does Tolkien’s work justice.

[buttercup-bard]

“Oh! Thank you.”

Get you someone who looks at you the way Aziraphale looks at Crowley Pt. 1/?

[isagisyoichi]

how do u think the boy would be in a party😈😈

NEW RULES!

SYNOPSIS: blue lock at a party

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: isagi, bachira, nagi, reo, rin, chigiri, naruhaya, niko, nanase, gagamaru, kunigami

WARNINGS: mentions of underage drinking and weed (but no one actually takes anything), swearing, mentions of throwing up and food, again pretend they're all friends and go to the same school because it's more fun to think that way. ooc rin maybe? idk i like pretending he's not as miserable as the manga makes him out to be 🤗 he deserves to have fun i think

A/N: no cause this was soooo fun to write tysm anon, i got through this in a flash cause i loved this suggestion sm :') literally one of the most fun requests i've ever gotten eeee!!!!! also this made me miss my irls bye corona can suck my balls fr

ISAGI YOICHI:

i feel like this would be his first big party aw lol, so he’s kind of nervous LMAO.

gets handed a beer by someone, has his first sip of it ever, and immediately spits it out. mutters “how the hell can anyone drink this?” and “discreetly” pours the rest into a bush.

mainly stays with nagi, chigiri, kunigami, and bachira and they just talk throughout the night

(bachira only sits down and talks after his energy dies down. i'll elaborate on this below the cut).

keeps asking nagi “what song is this?” throughout the night LOL. makes a mental note of what songs to add to his playlists.

slightly nods his head to the music, aw cute. goes a little harder and lip syncs/raps along when he really likes the song, though (i stand by my word when i said he loves “neon guts”)

does accidentally bump into someone, but isagi starts a convo with them after he apologizes, and they hit it off right away 🥰

but, the person left early and isagi, ever the dummy, forgets to ask for their number.

and he's actually so disappointed in himself when he realizes, too 😭

BACHIRA MEGURU:

not drunk or anything at all, but boy, the way he’s acting makes it seem like he is.

the self proclaimed “life of the party.”

can be found “dancing,” though i use that word generously because to classify whatever he’s doing as “dancing,” is a stretch, to every song, even if he doesn’t know the words LOL

really likes when throwbacks come on!!!! he does dance to the lyrics and not the beat sometimes, though 😭

but, bachira looks like he’s having so much fun, it’s so cute, he’s definitely been waiting for this moment his whole life 🥰

if you were dancing with him, bachira would 100% take you by the hand and spin you around

also forces gets isagi to dance with him but isagi’s so awkward 😭

bachira also ends up jumping in the pool sometime later that night. yells “cannonball!” and everything, like, okay michael phelps 😭

he doesn’t have extra clothes so reo has to give him some and they're so fucking big on him LOLLL

texts the groupchat “i was sooo crazy last night😂” in the morning LMAOO, okay babe calm down

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE:

takes it upon himself to make sure none of his friends die LOL

only drinks water and diet coke 👍

his mom calls in the middle of the party to ask how he's doing and bachira and nagi are doing stupid shit like yelling “pass the weed” and fake moaning 😭

isagi and chigiri tell him to tell her they say hi LOL

really likes when the dj puts on 90s/2000's r&b/hiphop songs (i'll die by my hc that kunigami's an oldies fan)

mostly sways side to side to the music, but he did also dance a little, per request of bachira, and ended up talking to a cute person a for little, too 🤗

offers to help clean up in the morning

CHIGIRI HYOUMA:

at least two drunk girls have mistaken him for their friend, and another four have asked to touch his hair.

tried to use one of reo’s many bathrooms, found a couple making out, outwardly said “gross,” and then left to find another one 😭

nods his head and taps his foot to the music, not much of a dancer.

also a people-watcher, and he points out things he sees are happening to his friends.

“guys, i think misa and her boyfriend are breaking up, look.” leave that poor girl alone bro 😭

finds himself laughing a lot that night because damn! his friends are funny, whether they try to be or not.

not really a party person, but chigiri actually had a lot of fun 🥰

NARUHAYA ASAHI:

also on the dancefloor! doesn’t really dance, per say, but he jumps up and down and does the fist pump thing 😭 he has the spirit, let's give him that.

drank a lot of soda, so he’s filled with energy. also pees in at least three of reo's bathrooms.

talks to his friends, but also makes new ones! also i feel like he takes a lot of pictures LOL. he needs the finsta content 😭

plays truth or dare, or something like that. ends up having to do some stupid shit like smack raichi’s ass and run away, but naruhaya did make out with the girl next to him, so fair trade, he thinks.

also ends up in the pool, but he’s playing chicken with gagamaru and some other people. does not win a single round, but he had fun 😇

leaves with like four plates of food and one of reo’s decorative towels for some reason???

GAGAMARU GIN:

goes through a bunch of reo's shit 😭 he's not taking anything, but he's just curious LOL

strikes up very, random conversations with a bunch of people out of nowhere, good for him!

weirdly good at darts, very good aim.

although one round, naruhaya accidentally distracted gagamaru and one of darts ended up in reo's wall 💔

“it's fine, he has the money to fix it,” naruhaya shrugs as he walks away from reo's now punctured, wall. so true bestie!

gagamaru somehow ends up giving some drunk stranger some “life-changing” advice. (whether it's good or not is debatable)

they thank gagamaru for changing their life and he never sees them again

NAGI SEISHIRO:

irritates the fuck out the dj because nagi keeps asking him to play one specific song over and over again.

it was good the first time, don't wear it out for the rest of us bae 😭

doesn't really dance, just nods his head, maybe raps along a little, too

when he talks to the girls that come up to him, nagi says stuff like “yeah, the host and i go way back, we’re best friends.”

“way back,” my ass, but whatever nagi 🤨

knocks out in one of reo’s guest rooms. someone finds him when they’re trying to look for the bathroom and they draw a mustache and a bunch of other stupid shit on him 😭

tries to leave before reo makes him help clean up in the morning. does not work 👍

dumbass also ended up losing his phone (reo bought him a new one so nagi doesn't really care)

RAICHI JINGO:

gasses himself up sooo much when he’s trying to hit on girls.

“yeah, i'm about to go D1 after high school, just wait on it,” yeah, okay raichi 🙄

also tries to show them his highlights, bye. babe, i mean this in the nicest possible way but, i do not care, can we just kiss 🙏

i feel like he’s one of those boys who likes to take his shirt off for no reason, so raichi most definitely ends up shirtless at some point of the night 😭

takes pictures with reo’s fancy cars in his garage to flex 💀 gets annoyed when reo says raichi can’t drive them. raichi doesn't even have his license 😑

plays pool and is actually not that bad. does almost accidentally blind isagi with his cue, though.

IMAMURA YUUDAI:

he's with some girls but, he’s a dummy and he didn’t know his other hoes would be there, so imamura had quite a few drinks spilled on him here and there.

still somehow leaves with like three new girls snaps, four numbers, and a bunch of lipstick stains. not even gonna lie, i respect his game.

actually a really good dancer, and he knows he looks good, too. knows the words to every drake song that comes on, argue with your mom.

lip-syncs the words to you when you dance together and it makes you more flustered than you would think 🙄

the type to pull you close and wraps his arms around your waist or around your neck

actually really fun to talk to. always in the loop with drama and stuff, so he's always got some interesting conversation topics. and he's funny 😭

MIKAGE REO:

obviously, the party’s at his house. what’s the point of having a rich teammate if you can’t exploit them for their possessions?

jokes, but reo did offer to throw it at his mansion house in the first place.

actually really likes throwing parties lmao, so he jumped at the opportunity.

posted on his snap, “party at my place su for address‼️” LOL

natural charm + raised with good manners = reo being an amazing host

but, reo does have a little group of girls following him around the entire night 👎

and it irritates the hell out of whoever reo’s trying to talk to because they’re all up on him, making it hard for reo to pay attention 😑

also doesn’t help that he entertains them and flirts back and dances with a couple of them, too

and looks good when he dances, too UGH!!!! he's the type to run his hands up and down your body while he dances with you 😣

i hate this man 👎 /j

ITOSHI RIN:

practicing. he didn’t come. sike! rin has a social life, too, come on now, y'all 🙄

talked a big game about how he wouldn’t show up then he still came anyways, like rin, what 😭??

super good at cup pong and he knows it. he keeps beating ryusei and if you look closely, rin has something reminiscent of a smirk on his face.

a foot-tapper, not a dancer, which sucks because he’s not even bad at dancing, either 👎

a couple of girls come up to rin to flirt, but rin doesn’t give them the time of day. no response or anything just a little side eye 😭

rin just talks to his friends and that’s it, really.

actually internally glad for the chance to kickback and relax for once, tbh.

but, he refuses to admit he had any semblance of fun. (he did, rin’s just a weenie 😒)

NIKO IKKI:

the team forced him to come 😭

niko’s already a homebody and he doesn’t like loud noises or large social scenes, so he wasn’t too jazzed about going somewhere where the both of those things combine.

also he's picky with music so LOL. does like that one remix to the pursuit of happiness, though

he’s a wall-stander, i hate to break it to y’all. just watched everything from a distance and didn't talk to anyone except for isagi and his friends.

bye, if you don’t get off the damn wall and dance (he'd dance with me i'm different 🥰🤗)

keeps opening and closing his phone so he looks busy but that mf is literally just going through the settings app 😭

called his mom to bring him home an hour and a half in 👎

NANASE NIJIROU:

i hate to admit it, but he’s the annoying first year that documents everything on snap bye

he’s just excited to be there but like, there is no reason for his story to be half an hour long.

i'm not watching all of that! sorry that happened to you or good for you 🤗

probably playing games like spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven. is very proud of himself for kissing four people in one night #bigmoves 🥳

stays with his group of friends and they're sooo loud and rowdy LMAOO. #firstyearthings

you can literally hear them laughing over the music, but they're having fun, so it's fine (at least of those kids hits people when they laugh too)

also dances, too! has super good energy and a natural sense of rhythm surprisingly 🥰 also a good hypeman!!!!! honestly, he's just really fun to be around tbh

overall, has a lot of fun, as you can tell by his story 😇

[litwitlady]

The 3x08 fic I was writing in case 3x08 didn’t end with Malex goodness. It’s unedited and very raw, so be gentle.

*************************

Michael sits next to Alex on his lowered tailgate and hands him a beer. It had been a long, stressful day, but they had managed to help Maria pull herself free from Jones and were well on their way to saving Max as well. “To a damn good day.”

They clink their bottles together and drink in silence as the sun sets behind the junkyard. There’s no space between them; Michael hadn’t cared to leave any. He’s no longer interested in hiding what he wants from the person he most wants. That being said, he still hasn’t figured out exactly what to say to Alex about the future he hopes for both of them, still too used to Alex running at the mention of any kind of permanence.

“We make a pretty good team,” Alex says, staring down at his boots. 

“Don’t sound so surprised.” Michael knocks their shoulders together, pulling a smile from Alex.

“I’m not. Not really.” He takes a long drink, swipes at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Michael watches him pick at the label on the bottle and knows he’s locked in a battle with himself. Always at war, never able to find peace.

“Figured out what you’re going to do about the whole Deep Sky thing?” They need to have this conversation. Michael doubts it will go well, but they’d put it off all day in order to get shit done. And now the shit is done. 

Alex shakes his head. “I know what you want me to do. It’s just not so cut and dry for me.”

“Why not?

“Because this is how I’m useful. You all have this alien connection, these alien powers. But I don’t. I’ve got resources and that’s it.” He shrugs, his chin wobbling ever so slightly as he looks off into the desert and away from Michael. 

“Last I checked, Liz didn’t have any alien powers, and she’s been plenty useful.” 

Alex snorts, keeping his head turned away. “You and I and the whole world know that Liz’s brain is her superpower. Hell, she gives you a run for your money in that department.” He drinks from his beer again, sets it aside. “I know I sound pathetic, but I need to be more than just a cheerleader on the sidelines, Guerin. And Deep Sky is how I can do that.”

They fall silent again, less comfortable this time, tension building steadily until Michael’s afraid Alex will bolt. He opens his mouth to say something, to say anything to keep him from running, but Alex beats him to it. 

“And I know this is a demand I’m putting on myself. I get that no one requires anything more from me than just showing up and being there or whatever.” He waves his hands around vaguely, his voice strained and cracked. “You’ll love my useless ass anyway, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to love myself. You know?”

“Yeah.” And the thing is, Michael does know. He’s always struggled with self-worth and feeling like he has to earn his place. He understands that Alex has too, just maybe in a quieter way, held deep inside unlike Michael’s volatile messiness. “I can’t fix that for you.”

“I know. And I’m working on it. I promise. It’s just not going to change overnight.” He turns back to Michael, offers him a small smile now that he’s controlled his emotions somewhat.

“Well, from one self-loathing fuck to another, me too.” He returns Alex’s smile and they both grab their beers again, taking a much-needed break from too many words spoken and shared and unable to be taken back. But regardless of the tension still sitting heavy between them, Michael feels giddy, lightheaded, full of hope.

“It’s just, you know, even Ramos didn’t choose me because of any actual skill. He chose me because an alien boy batted his eyelashes at me once and I handed over my entire life to him without question. Fall in love with an alien and get full access to Deep Sky’s darkest secrets.” He laughs, derisive and sharp. “This is too much self-pity. Sorry.”

“No need for sorry. And I’m pretty sure I never batted my eyes.” Michael considers what he’s said and struggles to find better words to say what he wants to say. And maybe that’s half the reason they have so much trouble talking, trying to find the perfect words rather than just saying what they feel no matter how bullshit it sounds. “But I do think that maybe that is your superpower, no matter how cheesy it sounds.”

Alex scoffs and kicks his foot in the dirt. “My hard-on for alien ass is my superpower?”

“No, love is. I know that sounds like a line out of a sappy 90s romcom.”

“It really does.”

“But, it’s true. You love so freely, so openly, so completely that you were able to entirely change my mind about humanity. And that is power, Alex, maybe the greatest power.” Alex looks at him, brows knitted together like he doesn’t believe a single word coming out of Michael’s mouth, lips already shaped into an argument. “And your capacity for love is made all the more amazing knowing it’s something no one ever really taught you how to do. So I’ve got to give Uncle Ed some credit; he chose you for the right reasons.”

Alex’s face crumples, his eyes shine with unshed tears, and he stares down at his hands for several beats before sliding off the tailgate and taking several steps forward. Michael’s heart races, his stomach plummets because he’s said too much, gone too far, struck a nerve best left alone. He swallows hard and girds himself for Alex’s inevitable next move now that things have gotten too raw for comfort. 

But Alex doesn’t run. He stays put, still and quiet, staring down at his boots and then into the distance toward the mountains. Putting his hands on his hips, he takes several loud, steadying breaths and turns back to Michael. His cheeks are tear-streaked and there’s enough emotion left on his face to take Michael’s breath away. He hasn’t run, he hasn’t hidden himself away. So Michael reaches out his hand and tugs him back onto the tailgate.

“Since I’m on a bit of a roll,” Michael starts, pausing while Alex laughs and swipes at the tears wetting his cheeks, “you were helpful today beyond merely being ‘resource guy’. You have this knack for staying cool under pressure even when I’m spiraling into an emotional mess which made you able to see things I couldn’t. And now we have an entire alien language we need to decode and last I heard, you were a pretty good codebreaker. And if Eduardo is as good a man as you think he might be, I don’t see how it should matter if you’re in Deep Sky or not. He should help you on principle.”

Alex clears his throat and laughs again, the sound music to Michael’s ears. “When did you get so good at this?”

“I’ve been attending the Kyle Valenti School for Wayward Boys. That asshole’s really quite effective and it pisses me off to admit that.”

“I hate that about him.” They grin at each other, thankful they can joke over Valenti now that he’s safe and sound and fully under Liz’s protection. “Thank you, Michael. For everything, for today. We really do make a great team.”

“We do. And that’s what we’re going to continue to be, yeah?” He looks at Alex, catching his eye and holding on, trying to communicate beyond words now.

“Yeah.” Alex holds his gaze, and Michael knows that they’re on the same page. Finally. “You can kiss me now.”

It’s Michael’s turn to scoff. “Who says I want to kiss you?”

Alex just raises a single eyebrow and fists Michael’s jacket collar tight, yanking him forward. Michael takes the direction as always, letting Alex put him right where he wants him. The kiss is soft and lingering, a simple reconnection more than their usual carnal immediacy. But they have time now, so much time.

Michael pulls back. “Kyle Valenti only wishes he were this good.”

“Shut up, Guerin.” Alex kisses him again, smiling against Michael’s lips. 

[kindahoping4forever]

When The Sun Came Up, You Were Looking At Me (Prologue) // Ashton Irwin

It really cannot be overstated how excited @cal-puddies​ and I are for you all to finally start reading this fic!! I searched our chat and we actually came up with the skeleton idea for this sequel only TWO DAYS after Remember When We Couldn’t Take The Heat was posted LAST APRIL and we started seriously writing in SEPTEMBER. This is a long time coming. We hope you love it as much as we do and thank you again for encouraging us to continue this story!

Don’t forget we’re alternating chapters so the story continues tomorrow over on Cass’s blog. And of course, you can find links to everything as it’s posted in the masterlist linked below! 

Warnings: Tension, both dramatic and sexual. Mild angst. Meddling but well-meaning friends. The first smut-free work Cass and I have ever written together (don’t worry, we more than make up for it the rest of the series lmao)

Word Count: 3455

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist  // Series Masterlist

Let  us  know  what  you  think!

The traffic light changes to green and you turn down Luke and Sierra’s street. You roll your eyes at the quickening of your pulse as you think about the party tonight; you’d give anything to skip it but you know Michael and Crystal really want you there and you can’t not show up for them. 

You feel your nerves settle a bit as you step out of the car and see Sierra waiting at the door for you, happy to have you over to get ready together. She grins wide and pulls you into a warm hug, Luke quickly coming over to engulf you as well. Their excited greetings overlap as they literally smother you with affection and you can’t help but laugh at the fuss they’re making.

“You always disappear for too long,” he murmurs, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of your head. 

“Just needed some space,” you say with a shrug. 

“You broke up with Ash, not us,” Sierra reminds you, squeezing your arm. 

“I know, I know,” you nod with a weak smile. 

Luke grabs the bag with your dress in it and takes it to their room while you and Sierra get a drink. “Thank god you’re letting me pre-game,” you joke. 

“How are you feeling about everything?” She asks as you head back with her. 

“Just doin’ my best to be OK,” you admit, without even thinking about Luke overhearing. “It was like… close to an entire year of my life you know? I know it doesn’t seem like much... I just wasn’t ready, you know? And I’m definitely not ready for tonight.” 

Sierra sits on the bed, listening as you sit at her vanity, absentmindedly looking over the beauty products on it.  “It was such an intense relationship, it makes sense you’re not over it yet, babe,” she points out gently.

“I should be over it, though, it was ridiculous. Our whole relationship was based on a foundation of fighting until we fucked to forget why we fought… it didn’t work, we never really communicated about anything.” 

“Well. You already know I’m not a fan of how the breakup went down,” she shakes her head, plugging in the curling iron you’ve been gesturing wildly with. “It’s been a couple months now, you guys still haven’t even texted?”

You scoff, taking a sip of your drink. “Please, we are the king and queen of Stubborn Town, I haven’t seen or heard from that man since I got the last of my stuff from his place,” you shrug. “I guess it still just feels… unfinished. I hate that.”

“I mean, it feels unfinished because you guys left it that way,” she says matter of factly. “You both decided you were done and then just… were? When you love someone, walking away like that doesn’t work.”

“I never said I loved him,” you glare at her through the mirror.

She settles behind you and starts sectioning off your hair. “Never said you didn’t either,” she teases.

Before you know it, 45 minutes have passed and Luke is at the door warning that he’s about to call the Uber; you’re deep into your girl talk catch-up and the knock on the door causes you both to burst into shrieks and giggles, scurrying around the room to finish getting ready.

Miraculously, you get yourselves together in time and as you stand in front of the house waiting for the car to arrive, Luke nudges you gently. “Ash is coming from a meeting on the other side of town, so you’ve got time to relax, he won’t be there for a while,” he reassures you. “And if you feel like you need to leave, let us know and we’ll come up with a reason to swoop you outta there.”

You put your arms around him and squeeze. “I’ve missed you too,” you say with a smile.

Luke tells you and Sierra how nice you both look as he ushers you inside the party. They both watch you scan the room, relaxing once you see Ashton hasn't arrived and then you all break off, making the rounds. 

You greet a few people but end up hanging off to the side, keeping an eye on the door, nervously half-paying attention to anyone who happens to approach you. 

You immediately tense when he enters. Luke moves to welcome him while Sierra comes to you, trying to be a silent support; her babysitting goes from feeling comforting to coddling very quickly and you urge her to go back to mingling. 

You try not to stare but you can’t help it, you haven’t seen him in so long. Even before you were together, when you hated him, it was hard not to be drawn to him. He just has that kind of presence. 

Luke hasn’t left his side since he walked in, chatting away, but you don’t think anything of it. That is, until everyone seems to be finding their place at the various tables and you’re still awkwardly standing to the side. You would typically sit with Luke and Sierra but they’ve made themselves cozy at a table with Ashton and Calum. 

You head for the bar and before you can order, someone comes up beside you. You ignore them until you hear the soft “Hey” fall from his lips, in that lush, slightly accented voice you missed more than you’d care to admit. 

You turn, fully taking him in for the first time tonight; his hair is different than the last time you saw him and he really seems to be feeling himself in his black pants and the lace button-up you used to make fun of. “Hi,” you respond, so quiet that Ash has to lean in to be sure he heard you. 

“Grab your drink and come sit with us,” he says, waving encouragingly. 

“Uh… that’s OK. I might leave,” you shrug. 

He snorts, rolling his eyes at your ridiculous suggestion. “No you won’t. First of all, I know you came with Luke and Sierra and they’re not leaving. Second of all, you’d never let Crystal and Mike down like that. Just come sit,” he insists, gently tugging on the hem of your dress. 

You melt a little inside. This was one of the reasons you liked him so much, he was always so confident that he knew you so well. But it’s also one of the reasons why you fought and he drove you crazy. 

“Fine,” you sigh with a slight smile. He waits for you to order your drink, also making you crazy, like he can’t trust you’ll do as you say.

“There you are!” Sierra smiles as you take the seat across the table from her and Luke. Sitting between Calum and Ashton is a spot you were very familiar being in; they’d constantly lean over you to share a joke and then one of them would fill you in afterwards if you were lucky. Your heart breaks a little when you realize that's not likely to happen now. 

You make small talk with Cal for a bit; you’ve missed his pinchable cheeks and his sweet laugh. You’d spent plenty of time with him when you were with Ashton but hadn’t really kept in touch since the split. He asks you about work and both he and Ash pay close attention as you chat about your job.

Sierra keeps a close eye on the two of you and notices how quickly you get reacquainted. The way Ash naturally rests his arm on the back of your chair. How when he started getting animated with a story, you knowingly shifted all the drinks over until he was finished. How he won’t let himself laugh at his own joke until he checks to make sure you’re laughing first. The hair toss you subconsciously give whenever he does make you laugh.

Later on, she catches him at the refreshment table serving your favorite dessert onto his plate even though it’s something he notoriously doesn’t like. She walks alongside him as he heads back. “You hate that,” she smirks, pointing at the offending dish.

“Oh. Right,” he says, realizing the old habit he just indulged. “She’ll eat it,” he shrugs, quickening his step to avoid any follow-up questions. 

Crystal makes the rounds to thank everyone for coming and stops Sierra with a hug; they chat for a minute but Crystal notices she seems distracted and eventually follows her gaze over to your table. Cal’s deeply invested on his phone, leaving you and Ash chatting by yourselves.

Crystal lightly snorts and leans in to her friend. “What’s old is new again, I guess,” she cups her manicured hand over her mouth to disguise her words. “You think they’ll leave together? I was shocked when she told me they haven’t hooked up even once since they split.”

Sierra shakes her head firmly. “They’re both too stubborn to admit they want even that from each other,” she rolls her eyes. “You should’ve seen how nervous she was to come here tonight.”

“Oh, Ash too,” Crystal whispers. “Ever since we planned this, Michael must’ve gotten at least 5 texts from him casually trying to find out if she was coming.”

Sierra sips her drink, never taking her eyes off your table. “It ended so badly, I can’t get over how comfortable they are with each other… there’s still just so much love there.”

Crystal shrugs. “Well god bless them but think of how long it took them to actually get together,” she points out. “I wouldn’t hold my breath for them to figure out that they called it off too soon.” 

You make light conversation with Ashton, trying to ignore the girls’ gabfest you see out of the corner of your eye; they were both supportive but clearly distraught when you told them about the breakup so you know they’ve got to be eating this up. 

Calum announces he’s stepping away for a cigarette and you and Ash pick at your plates in silence for a few minutes, suddenly feeling the weight of having to interact without a buffer. Finally, he offers up a quiet, “You’ve been good?”

You answer perhaps a little too quickly, nod perhaps a little too vigorously, eager to mask any implication of hurt feelings. “Yep. Busy. But good.”

He fiddles with the tablecloth. “You know... I meant to call sometime but it never felt right and then things got crazy with the band…”

“It’s fine,” you interrupt, shaking your head. “I didn’t check in either. Didn’t think you’d answer,” you laugh weakly.

He smiles and you hate how warm you feel at the sight. “Why did I always assume you were a ‘fuck that guy, delete his number as soon as you’re out the door’ kind of ex?”

Your heart sinks and you’re not sure why; it takes you a moment to realize it’s because this is the first time you’ve actually thought of yourself as “his ex.” You steady yourself. “Usually am. Decided to be mature on this one. You’re still at the top of my contacts. Listed under ‘Asshole,’ obviously,” you giggle.

“Ah, my favorite of your pet names,” he laughs along with you.

You talk for a few more minutes until Crystal makes her way over; Ash slips away while the two of you catch up and shortly after, you get a text from Luke asking if you’re ready to go. Your eyes scan the room though you aren’t sure what exactly you’re searching for, because you’re totally fine leaving without saying goodbye to Ashton. 

You're quiet on the ride back to Sierra and Luke’s and while you collect your things from their bedroom, she gently checks in.

“See, tonight wasn’t so bad,” she muses. 

“No, it was OK. Good to see everyone,” you shrug. “...Ash looks healthy.” 

“He looks good,” Sierra says pointedly. You say nothing. 

“You sure you’re good to drive?” Luke asks, coming into the room and sitting next to his girlfriend on the bed. “You know you’re always welcome to stay here.” 

“I’m fine, Luke,” you chuckle. You turn and hug them both. “I love you both, I’ll text when I’m home.” They respond by kissing the top of your head and you chuckle fondly as you leave. 

“They seemed OK tonight,” Luke mentions while they get ready for bed.

“They were more than OK, those stubborn kids couldn’t have been more into each other,” Sierra rants. “I think they really miss it, they just won’t admit it.”

“Oh, Ash definitely misses her. I swear, he talked about her less when they were together,” he jokes. Sierra raises an eyebrow, which Luke takes as encouragement to continue rambling about everything Ash had told him. “He knows they fought a lot but he even misses that... he’s been saying he’s glad he never told her he loved her, though. Things would’ve been a lot harder. Messier. I dunno, he’s always asking about her.”

You get home and drop your bag right inside the door with a huge, exhausted sigh and pull out your phone to text Luke and Sierra before heading to your room. You throw open the closet and it only takes you a couple seconds to spot what you’re looking for: that hoodie that Ash left behind and you never bothered to return. 

You stare at it for a beat and then leave to wash your face and brush your teeth; you already know what you’re about to do but you still try to talk yourself out of it. Back in the bedroom, you reluctantly grab the hoodie off of its hanger, change into it and climb into bed. You hold the sleeves to your face and breathe Ashton in; long, deep breaths, letting his smell fill your nostrils. You’ve done this more times than you’d care to admit these past few months; you miss him here, in your space. You curl in a ball and drift off, taking comfort in his scent surrounding you. 

You’re woken up early by your phone buzzing on the nightstand. You see it’s Sierra and pick it up, groaning, making sure she can hear it. “S?”

“Hey babe… can we lunch?” She bubbles. 

“You couldn’t have texted?”

“Sorry, Sunshine, just wanted to hear your lovely voice… and get a definite answer out of you. 1 o’clock, don’t be late!” She sing-songs, hanging up. 

You check your notifications and your heart sinks, not seeing anything from Ashton. You weren’t sure why you thought you would. You curl up and go back to sleep for a while. 

Sierra knows you well enough to guess you fell back asleep without setting an alarm and she starts blowing you up around noon. You text that you’ll see her soon and you start getting ready. You use the most fragrant soap you can find for your shower, ensuring the smell of Ashton's cologne doesn't linger on your skin.

You walk into your usual lunch place and easily spot Sierra on the patio. "Drinks are on their way," she shares as you take your seat.

You chat breezily about the party: how good the food was, how Michael's DJ setup was so much more elaborate than at the last party you attended, how much you loved what Crystal had worn. You wonder out loud if Cal had gone home with the girl he'd been making eyes at all night and Sierra seizes the opportunity to steer the conversation to her topic of choice.

"Speaking of making eyes," she takes a prolonged sip from her glass. "Things seemed a little intense with Ash last night."

You give her a tight-lipped smile, determined not to give her anything she can blow out of proportion. "I told you it was fine. Easier than I expected in a lot of ways, harder in others."

She places her hand on your arm from across the table. "I looked over a few times and saw him with his arm over your chair, you watching him talk… it was like we were back at that resort again," she says wistfully.

You evaluate her face for a moment. Since she's one of your best friends, you're used to being lovingly annoyed with her meddling in your life but sometimes you forget that it comes from a place of genuine love and concern for you. "Regardless of how things turned out, I'll always be grateful you forced me to stay on that trip," you smile. "That was some once in a lifetime kind of shit."

"From what I heard down the hall, sure sounded like it," she teases, grinning as you playfully shoo her hand off your arm. "That anniversary's coming up quick, isn't it?"

"Next week," you blurt, wincing at how quickly you answer.

"We'll have to think of something fun to do together," she declares carefully. "Not that you need it, but just in case you don't want to be alone."

This time you reach over and squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry I haven't been around like I used to, S. I just… needed time," you admit. "It's still hard. Most of the time, actually. But being around you and Lu again feels good. I think I need the support more than I realized."

"Babe," she pouts. "We were there for you before Ash, during Ash and we want to be there for you post-Ash. We love you."

You feel better than you thought you would as you head back to your car. Being honest with Sierra - and yourself - was easier than you expected. You briefly think about texting Ash - nothing major, something chill like "fun catching up last night" - but think better of it.

Sierra gets to her car and immediately texts Crystal, who requested an update when she heard you were getting lunch. She suggests asking Cal’s perspective to get the full picture of where Ash is at, so Sierra calls him on the drive home. 

“Hey Sweet Boy!” She greets him. 

“Sierra!” She can hear the grin on his face at the nickname. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

“Well, I wanted to ask you how Ash is. I mean, I know what Luke tells me but I feel like he gives you more,” she explains. 

“How do you mean? You saw him last night?” 

“How has he been since the breakup?” She emphasizes. 

“Oh… OH!! Oh! What are you planning? Please tell me you’re doing something, he’s making me crazy. I don’t know what came over him last night,” Cal babbles. 

“I think Luke had a hand in that,” Sierra admits with a sigh. “She came over to get ready with me and I think he probably shared some things he shouldn’t have. You know how he is.”

“What’s in that beautiful brain of yours?” Cal murmurs, letting out an excited little laugh. Out of everyone, he tends to enjoy Sierra’s plans like this the most, especially when they aren’t directed toward him. 

“I don’t know yet… I feel like we just need to get them talking alone again like they were last night, remind them what was there...” she muses. She talks through a few ideas with Calum and he’s on board for any of them.

By the time she gets home, Sierra is raring to go; she practically runs up the stairs to ask Luke for his help.

“Hey hun!” He greets her with a smile when she raps on the door to his studio. He moves the guitar off his lap, silently inviting her to come lay on the couch while they talk. “How was lunch, how’s our girl?”

She fills him in on everything: your mood, your conversation and the consulting she’s been doing among the friend group. Luke seems interested but about halfway through becomes engrossed in his phone and Sierra sits up, irritated. “Babe, you asked, are you even listening?”

He briefly looks concerned and then grins. “Sorry, just distracted by Ash blowing up the group chat, asking if anyone wants to go away next week so he doesn’t have to deal with their anniversary,” he proudly holds up his phone.

Her jaw drops at the opportunity that’s fallen at their feet. “What if…” She starts furiously typing into her phone. “Yes… that house you guys stayed at when you were planning the last album is free.”

“Palm Springs? OK, so…” Luke trails off, trying to follow her logic.

“Band retreat for the boys. Self-care trip for the girls,” she answers, shooting off texts to Crystal, Mike and Cal. 

“That house really isn’t big enough for all of us,” he comments, still lost.

She finally looks up at him, smiling widely. “It’s a good thing they’ll be the only ones going, then.”

————-

Taglist is breaking the links in the post and I currently do not have the brainpower to figure out the problem lol. We’ll try again tomorrow but in the meantime, if you aren’t notified, you can always check the masterlist which will be updated everyday!

@mymindwide​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​ @pxrxmoore​​ @loveroflrh​​ @ghostofmashton​​ @sexgodashton​​ @feliznavidaddycal​​  

@castaway-cashton​​ @ashtonlftv​​ @cashtonasfuck​​ @megz1985​​  @angelicfluffs​​ @findingliam-o​​ @youngbloodchild​​  @irwinsbetch​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​

@wiildflower-xxx @metalandboybands  @realisticnotes  @makeamovehemmings @golden166​ @burstintocolor

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[dailylangdon]

If I Die, I Die // Xavier Plympton

Warnings: Oral sex (fem receiving), face sitting, blow job (implied), mommy kink (Very lightly implied)

Word Count: 1.6k

“Babe, hurry! My scene’s about to start!”

You pulled another can of Diet Coke out of the fridge and hurried back to the living room. Xavier beamed at you from the couch and outstretched an arm. You snuggled into his chest and popped open your soda.

Xavier was a struggling actor and your boyfriend of 3 months. Sometimes he was picky about his roles. But other times, he knew he had to go for whatever was available. He worked at an aerobics studio to pay the bills and hopefully save up enough to get an agent. 

It was a fickle career, and of course you had concerns. Not with Xavier. He was very talented and passionate. You worried sometimes that the fact that he wasn’t shooting to the top immediately was discouraging him. But you saw his excitement when he talked about acting. He was born to do it, and you believed in him. 

It was your idea to make such a big deal out of his bit part on the new “Facts of Life” episode. Xavier sheepishly told you he was nothing more than a featured extra. But you assured him that any work is better than no work. And you were gonna help him celebrate any victory he made. No matter how small.

Your roommates were on vacation, so you invited him to your place. You popped popcorn and had plenty of sodas. The two of you huddled up on the couch in your pajamas. The only light in the living room was the glow of the television. You wanted to make an event of it, and you’d succeeded.

“Okay, here it is!” he said. 

As he’d told you, he was barely in the scene at all. He was in the background of a shot in the park. But you could see his face for three whole seconds. You squeezed his thigh and gave him an encouraging smile. 

The episode finished. Xavier turned off the TV and you clicked on the lamp beside the couch. When you looked up at him, you noticed a frown. But he plastered on a smile a millisecond later when his eyes met yours.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” You poked the side of his face. 

He shrugged and grabbed your hand, kissing your palm. “Nothing, babe.” 

“Xav, you seem totally bummed out.” 

“(Y/N), do you think I’m actually meant to be an actor?”

“Of course you are. Why? Are you worried? Babe, you were just on an episode of a primetime TV show!”

He frowned. “Yeah, for like half a second. What if that’s all I ever get?”

You took his face in your hands, thumbs rubbing down the planes of his gorgeous cheekbones. “Everyone has to start somewhere, babe. You’re putting in the hard work, and it’s gonna lead to something great.”

“You really think so?” A small grin played at his full lips. 

You planted a soft kiss on his mouth. “I know so.” 

The two of you sat in silence, just looking at each moment before Xavier piped up again. 

“But what if I get too old before I get my big break and I lose my good looks? Like when I’m...40?” 

You laughed at the way he wrinkled his nose in disgust at the prospect of turning 40. 

“You’re so much more than your good looks, Xav. You’re so talented. And caring. And you’ve got great instincts,” you leaned your forehead to his. “But between you and me, I don’t think you’re ever gonna grow out of your looks. You’re just gonna get sexier and sexier.” 

The tenderness and compliments really struck a chord with him. He closed the gap between you, his lips caressing yours. He coaxed your mouth open, slipping his tongue inside. The kiss, as always, was warm and electrifying. The boy was so good at kissing. The first time you’d kissed, you couldn’t believe how lucky you were. You could honestly spend hours kissing him.

But you had him all to yourself tonight. You wanted to do more than kiss. You pulled away long enough to straddle him on the couch. His blue eyes widened in bewilderment and awe before you kissed him again. His hairsprayed and teased hair was soft beneath your fingers. (Luckily it was nighttime, or he would have whined about you messing it up). 

He pulled away, gasping for air. “You are so hot, babe.” 

Your face warmed. You rode the high of his admiration by peeling your pajama shirt off. You were left in your sports bra. You felt a bit insecure for not having on something cuter, but Xavier’s dumbstruck face assured you all was well. 

You took his shirt off for him. His muscles were creamy and flawless in the lowlight of the lamp. His neck was soft beneath your lips. You nipped and sucked right above his chest. One of your hands reached for his sweatpants to feel his growing bulge in your palm.

A moan broke from his throat and you grinned. 

“H-hey, babe?” he asked. 

His nervous tone made you halt your movements and pull away. Had you done something wrong? “Yeah?” 

He must have sensed your apprehension. He grabbed your hand and held it to his heart. “I wanted to know if we could try something...different.” 

“Oh?”

“I want you to sit on my face.”

You blinked. His bluntness and lack of shame when it came to sex was refreshing but could take you aback at times. You still were reeling from the time you were out to dinner with friends when he said during the appetizers that he wanted to fuck you in the bathroom before the main course arrived. 

“What?”

He smirked. “You heard me. I’ve wanted it for a while. But I really want it now.”

The idea made wetness pool in your panties. It was tantalizing, to say the least. 

“I don’t know. What if I hurt you?”

“How would you hurt me?” He seemed truly perplexed.

“Shit, I don’t know, Xav. You’re pretty good with your tongue,” you chuckled. “What if you get me going so much that I break your nose?”

His eyes widened for a moment, but he shook his head. “Still would be worth it.”

“What if my thighs, like….Smother you to death,” you half-joked. Insecurity could get the best of you. 

“Babe,” he murmured. His hands slid down to the aforementioned thighs that were straddling his lap. “It would be an honor to be killed by these babies.” 

You laughed and playfully shoved his shoulder. “You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?”

His arms went around your waist, pulling you closer. His lips tickled the shell of your ear. “What do you say, babe? You gonna smother me with those thighs, or what?”

You shuddered as he nipped your earlobe with his teeth. It was hard to say no to that man. Even if you wanted to. But you never wanted to.

“Fuck, Xav, okay,” you gasped. “Let’s do it.” 

He kissed you hard on the mouth. “You won’t regret it.”

You hopped off of him to let him get situated. He laid down on the powder blue carpet in front of the couch. He gestured for you with his fingers. 

He put on an awful English accent, “Your throne awaits, madame.” 

You laughed, nerves easing immediately. You stepped out of your sweatpants and panties. You straddled his torso first and put your hands on the couch cushions to brace yourself. 

“Come on, babe,” he said. “Have a seat.” 

Crawling up, you put your knees on either side of his head. Xavier’s hands went to your hips and he pulled you down to meet his face. His breath was hot on your dripping cunt.

He licked a broad stripe over your entire slit. 

You moaned loudly, gripping the couch. God, you were thankful to have something to hold onto. 

Xavier pulled away enough so he could speak. “Does it feel good, Mama?”

“Fuck yeah, it does, baby,” You said breathlessly. 

“Good,” he said and got back to work. 

His tongue explored inside of you, lapping up your juices. Savoring every inch of you. Then he wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking like it was a piece of candy.

One hand remained on your hip, holding you in place. The other snuck between your legs. His middle and ring fingers slid inside you easily as he flicked your clit with his tongue. 

“Xav-Xavier, I’m gonna--” you stammered. 

He thrust his fingers at an even pace, curling them deep inside you, and that was all it took. You cried out, thighs shaking. You nearly collapsed, but he held you up. He gripped your hips then, continuing to lick and suck, sending you into complete overstimulation. By orgasm four or five, you had to tap out. 

He released his hold and crawled down so you could face him. Your juices covered his chin. You’d feel embarrassed if you weren’t so completely fucked out. He pulled you in for a kiss and you tasted yourself on his tongue.

“That was even better than I thought it would be, babe,” he said against your mouth. 

“Had a pretty good time myself,” you said. You laid your head on his chest, hearing his thundering heartbeat.

His hand rubbed absentminded circles on your back. “You’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had, you know? And not just because you let me eat that amazing pussy of yours.”

You chuckled. “Thanks, baby.”

“I mean it. My exes never believed in me like you do. You’re amazing.” 

“You’re definitely worth believing in, Xav.” You kissed his chest before pushing yourself up. 

He looked at you, softness and adoration in his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “But, listen. Don’t get sleepy on me now.” 

You crawled down, pulling at the waistband of his pants, and winked up at him. “I’m gonna give you the Hollywood treatment.” 

He smiled down, and you knew that he’d always feel like a star when he was with you. 

---------‐-‐-----------------------------

Taglist: @jimmlangdon @thewarriorprincessxo @prophecy-is-inevitable @sluttyyrose @michael-langdon-appreciation @bloodcoatedeclipse @matildaofoz @bigwolfjudgeshepherd @bowerskitten @blueboi-345

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[stxphxn-strange]

moments we had and suddenly lost

a/n: wanted to write smth self indulgent and fun and sweet and cozy, this was the result. for most of it. sorry not sorry for the ending (tw for character death though)

“Did you see the way Bruce just spoke to me in the groupchat?!” Stephen asked, not at all angry but very surprised.

“Finals stress is probably hitting,” Christine replied. “I keep suggesting he tries meditation.”

“You’ve suggested that to everyone.”

“And none of you so far have listened!”

“... okay true.”

Christine rolled her eyes at Stephen conceding. “Where’s Ant?”

“Studying with Carol and Rhodey I think,” Stephen said, not yet realizing that someone had just gotten home. “Or in class, I don’t remember if he said his class was meeting today or not.”

“It wasn’t,” Anthony replied from the mudroom. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it up, stretching in place for a moment. “Hi Christine.”

Christine waved with the hand that wasn’t busy highlighting her notes, glancing up slightly as Anthony crossed the room.

“Rhodey’s still out?” Stephen asked. He looked up from his computer, reaching out for his boyfriend.

Anthony nodded. “He went to get lunch and run errands with Carol and I think someone else. I dunno, I came home because I’m tired.”

“I’m not surprised, you haven’t slept more than a few hours this entire week,” Stephen replied. He kept his voice low and soothing, partly to ensure he didn’t distract Christine from her reading.

“Hence why I’m admitting exhaustion-induced defeat! I’m going to take a nap,” Anthony said. “If I’m not up in an hour will you wake me up please?”

“An hour and ten?” Stephen suggested.

Anthony sighed fondly. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Go get your sleep,” Stephen murmured, hugging him close. Anthony was half sitting on him at this point, but neither of them minded much. “And get under a blanket, you’re fucking freezing.”

“It’s cold out!” Anthony replied. He softly kissed Stephen’s hair. “Good luck with studying, both of you.”

“Thanks man. I’m going to dinner with Hope later tonight so that’s making this a little more bearable. I can’t stand your boyfriend,” Christine said, throwing in a friendly dig at Stephen.

Anthony laughed lightly. “Don’t worry, I can’t either.”

“What did I do to deserve this treatment?” Stephen asked, unable to hide his amusement and laughing with them.

“I’m obviously kidding, you’re good to study with. And a half decent friend I guess,” Christine replied.

Stephen flipped her off and pretended to scowl, his facial expression softening as Anthony kissed him again.

“I’m going to go sleep,” Anthony said. He pulled Stephen in for one last kiss. “Love you lots, good luck!”

Stephen smiled. “I love you too. I’ll wake you up after an hour and 10.”

“Thank you!” Anthony called as he left the room. He was already forming a plan to steal one of Stephen’s hoodies and nap in it, thinking about what music to listen to while he rested.

++++

Christine left at the same time Stephen’s alarm went off, reminding him that he promised to wake Anthony up. He didn’t want to, knowing his sleep deprived boyfriend could really use more rest, but too long of a nap would keep him from falling asleep later that night.

“There aren’t enough hours in the day,” Stephen muttered to himself as he headed towards his room.

“Amen,” Wong called from his own room, the door slightly ajar.

Stephen poked his head in. “I didn’t even know you were home.”

“Because I’m being quiet, obviously. I’m meeting Pepper and Loki to study with them, and I think Bucky is coming too,” Wong replied. He was neatly arranging his backpack, filling it to the brim with books and notepads.

“Got everything?” Stephen teased.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than bother me? Go bother Ant,” Wong replied mirthfully, taking his laptop out of his bag to quickly repack the whole thing.

“He’s sleeping! I was on my way to wake him up, forgive me for wanting to check on you,” Stephen bantered back.

Wong just rolled his eyes, giving Stephen a good natured shove as he passed him in the doorway. “I’ll see you later, good luck with whatever you’re doing for the rest of the day.”

“You too,” Stephen replied, finishing his trip to his room as Wong continued in the opposite direction. His heart burst when walked in to see Anthony still sleeping and wearing one of his hoodies.

He looked so comfortable and relaxed for once in his damn life, and Stephen hated to disrupt him just as much as he hated breaking his word. He gently shook Anthony’s shoulder a few times before beginning to brush his hair back from his face. It was about two minutes later when Anthony woke up, blinking in love and annoyance while expelling the stray sleep from his eyes.

“As much as I hate waking you up from your rare moments of sleep, this drowsiness is cute on you,” Stephen murmured. “Good nap?”

Anthony huffed in exasperation and pushed his head against Stephen’s hand. “Too short.”

“I know,” Stephen soothed, continuing to play with his boyfriend’s hair. “Sometimes it feels like no amount of sleep is ever enough to feel rested. Even when I slept for 11 hours that day I was still tired.”

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Anthony quipped, still a bit out of it. “How was your studying?”

“It went well. I’m not going to worry about this test tomorrow morning, I’m just going to try and relax tonight,” Stephen said, ignoring the first thing Anthony said. He smirked, knowing he wouldn’t be able to take his next words seriously. “Maybe I’ll even to go sleep at a decent hour.”

That... didn’t happen. It just didn’t. 

One (1) coffee driven all-nighter later, they sleepily headed off to take their respective last exams of the semester. Stephen’s exam was earlier in the day, but Anthony went with him when he left “for good luck.” That was only half true, he just wanted any reason to be around Stephen and vehemently told him that.

“Anthony I adore and appreciate you but you really didn’t have to walk with me,” Stephen said. “You could’ve slept before your test.”

Anthony scoffed. “I really don’t think a power nap would have any effect. Besides, I want all the time with you I could possibly have.”

They stopped walking in the hallway, Stephen looking at Anthony with a loving gaze and smiling at him. “I can’t wait until break starts.”

“We’re almost done,” Anthony replied. “Aside from waking up early for our flight tomorrow, we’ll be able to sleep in for the next few weeks!”

“We’ll be able to try and sleep in,” Stephen corrected him.

“We’re saying the same thing,” Anthony said with a little laugh that made Stephen smile even more.

“All I want to do is lay on the beach with you at least once while we’re away,” Stephen said.

“That can be arranged,” Anthony replied fondly. He looked up as a clock chimed somewhere in the building.

Stephen yawned. “That’s my cue to go and look over my notes before the exam.”

Anthony nodded and pulled him close again. “Good luck! You’ve got this, I love you,” he murmured against Stephen’s lips, kissing him between each clause.

“I love you too, see you at home?” Stephen replied.

“Of course. Pep and I are going to lunch after we’re done at 12:30, text me if you need or want anything and I’ll bring it,” Anthony said.

“I might be asleep, I’m taking a fucking nap before Bucky’s party tonight,” Stephen said. “Or not-party. Whatever it is.” 

++++

Despite the fact that no one outside the friend group was there, Bucky’s game night/dinner quickly spiraled into a full on party. There was dancing and snacks and jokes, everyone finally relaxing for the first time in weeks. Tired as everyone was, partying and dancing the night away was a good way to get rid of the last bit of final exam and grade stress. Grade point averages didn’t matter, just friends and memories. And because they were... themselves, Stephen and Anthony were late. 15 minutes late was actually pretty good for them, but their tardiness was always amusing to their friends. 

“We would’ve gotten here earlier had Anthony not changed his shirt three times,” Stephen explained to a fondly exasperated Bucky.

“I only had time to do that because you fell asleep! And you had the audacity to be annoyed with me for waking you up, even though you asked me to,” Anthony replied.

Stephen didn’t say much, unable to argue with that. “I hate to say it, but you’re right.”

“At least you’re cute about being woken up,” Anthony said, unable to refrain from teasing him. “Your tired face reminds me of my sister’s cat when she’s angry.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” Stephen rolled his eyes.

“May I host my damn party please?” Bucky tapped his foot impatiently. “Are you done with this interruption or can I finish talking?”

“Honestly I thought you were done,” Stephen replied sincerely.

“I don’t think Bucky is ever truly done talking!” Sam called from another room.

“Hm, you both have that in common,” Stephen said to Bucky and Anthony.

“Oh hush,” Anthony quipped, looking at Stephen with nothing but love in his eyes. 

“Conveniently for you bickering jackasses, we’re telling embarrassing stories about each other. Basically you have to tell a story while the rest of us decide if it’s a true story or not, and we can ask three clarifying questions.” Bucky had a fiendish look in his eye as he explained the game. “And since you were late, I think it’s fair we put one of you on the spot.”

“I think we know an appropriate amount about each other already,” Wong muttered jokingly. 

“You don’t want to hear about the time Loki stabbed me with safety scissors when we were kids?” Thor asked. “Rude.” 

“That’s all you ever talk about, and I said I was sorry!” Loki replied. “At least I didn’t get banned from Michael’s for a few years... Hela.” 

“I’ll dump my wine on your head,” Hela said in an icy voice. 

“Not on my white carpet!” Bucky muttered. 

“Hey how much do you want to bet that the Odinsons are going to start wrestling by the end of the night?” Wong asked Stephen as he and Anthony sat down and joined the others.

“Oh they definitely will. If they don’t I’ll buy you a sandwich when we come back from break,” Stephen replied. “Anthony will you be a witness for this incredibly stupid bet Wong and I are about to shake on?” 

Anthony, curled up against Stephen’s side, nodded with a yawn.

“Great. If the Odinsons don’t piss each other off enough to start fighting, Stephen owes me a sandwich,” Wong declared. They sealed the bet with a very gentle high five, Stephen loosely lacing his finger’s with Wong’s. 

Wong dropped his hand. “We’re not close enough to be that affectionate,” he said teasingly.

“Aww but I’m tired! I want to hold hands with everyone,” Stephen mumbled. “Anthony will you hold me?” 

“Anytime baby,” Anthony replied, pulling Stephen into a hug. 

Both Stephen and Anthony were extremely physically affectionate, even more so when they were tired. The long week drained them of their energy and stole 90% of their snark, leaving them “annoyingly snuggly” according to their friends. When they got home from the party, Rhodey rolled his eyes at how clumsy they were, completely sober but completely exhausted. 

Anthony didn’t even bother changing out of his suit when they got home, brushing his teeth and collapsing into bed as soon as possible. He left the lights dimmed, just bright enough so Stephen could see while he was in the bathroom. Anthony was almost asleep when his phone rang, annoyed at the interruption until he saw who was calling. 

“Buona sera, Mamma,” He greeted her warmly but sleepily. 

“It’s a bit late to be considered evening, isn’t it?” Maria asked. “How was the party? Or was it not a party? I don’t remember.”

“It ended up turning into a party and it was only our friends there! But it was super fun, we’re just really tired,” Anthony replied. “We’re getting up in a few hours for our flight.” 

He looked up as Stephen ran into something and cursed colorfully. 

“You okay?” Anthony asked, holding the phone a bit away from his face. 

“I tripped over my bag,” Stephen replied, unceremoniously laying on top of him. He was also still wearing his suit, knowing he’d probably sleep more comfortably in PJs but at this point it was too late to care. 

“Stephen’s been clumsy again,” Anthony informed his mother. 

“He says that as if he didn’t almost fall down the stairs this morning,” Stephen added. 

Maria rolled her eyes on the other end of the call. “Stop bickering and get some sleep, you two. I’ll see you Sunday, okay? Anthony I was just calling to see how the end of your week went, we can talk more tomorrow.” 

“It went well! I just can’t wait to spend time on the beach and see you and Natasha,” Anthony replied. 

He could hear the smile in his mother’s voice as she replied. “I’m excited too. I’ll let you get some sleep now, sweet dreams! I love you.” She was talking to them both, their happiness warming her heart. Maria smiled when they said they loved her too. Stephen was basically her son-in-law at that point (she even addressed him as such), and she couldn’t wait to see them both.

Stephen was asleep before Anthony even hung up the phone. He meant to set an alarm, knowing Anthony had one set but they both had a tendency to oversleep. It would just be an extra precaution, a “just-in-case,” but at the time he was too tired to set it. 

Luckily, something was on their side and they were begrudgingly awake on time. They met an equally tired Bucky in the morning, their only relief being that they could try to sleep on the flight.

“I’m buying a coffee at the earliest possible opportunity,” Bucky said as soon as they got to the airport. 

“You sound like Anthony,” Stephen remarked. 

“In this one instance maybe. You guys have more in common than most people I’ve ever met,” Bucky replied. “But I guess that makes sense because you’ve known each other since the beginning of time, you’re basically the same person.” 

“That’s not true! I’m taller,” Stephen said. 

“You asshole,” Anthony quipped. He yawned and leaned closer to Stephen as they walked towards their gate. “Bucky what kind of coffee do you even drink? I thought you didn’t like it.” 

“Somehow Sam convinced me that cappuccinos are good,” Bucky replied.

“They are,” Anthony insisted.

“Oh I agree, but as far as Sam knows I’m still on the fence about them. I can’t have him thinking he’s right,” Bucky said humorously.

Anthony winked at Stephen before replying. “True. If he finds out he’s right you’ll never hear the end of it.”

“I hate you,” Stephen said, his words betrayed by his loving tone and the way he reached for Anthony’s hand.

“It’s going to be such a long flight sitting next to you two idiots,” Bucky muttered. 

Stephen was unsure if he scoffed or laughed at his friend. “We won’t bother you, at least I won’t. I’m going to sleep at, as you put it, the earliest possible opportunity.”

He fell asleep before the plane took off, resting his head on Anthony’s shoulder and staying as close to him as possible. Anthony didn’t mind Stephen’s using him as a human neck pillow and fell asleep shortly after, leaving Bucky with peace, quiet, and a chance to take embarrassing photos of them (to send to the groupchat later). They slept for almost 75% of the flight, just in time to hear the announcement that it’d be landing early. Bucky, concerned about missing his connecting flight to Vancouver, relaxed at that news and closed his eyes to sleep until they landed.

“We could go to the beach today, if you’d like,” Anthony suggested softly, still waking up. “Of course we have a bit of a trip to take before we’re home, and there’s no telling what traffic will be like when we land, but we could probably go for a bit.”

Stephen hummed in agreement. The beach wasn’t far from Anthony’s house, and there would be plenty of time over the holiday. He’d be lying if he said the idea didn’t entice him. He didn’t say much of anything out loud, but smiled as Anthony kissed his head as if to say he understood.

++++

“Bucky are you all good for time?” Stephen asked as they walked through the airport. It was a relief that they landed early, even more of a relief that LAX was surprisingly quiet.

Bucky shrugged his backpack over his shoulder, looking at his phone and presumably checking his flight information. “Yeah I’m good, I have about an hour.”

“Want company while you wait?” Stephen offered.

“No, I’ll be fine,” Bucky said, shooing them away. “Go home and sleep or go to the beach or some shit. Be safe okay?”

“You too, have a good flight Buck,” Anthony replied.

“Why are you saying that like I’m in control of the plane? I didn’t go to flight school,” Bucky quipped.

“What would we ever do without your snark?” Stephen teased. “How are we going to survive the whole break without you Bucky?”

“The two of you are snarky enough for each other, you know that. But if it’d make you feel better, I’ll roast you the next time I see you,” Bucky offered. He then added, mostly to himself, “Or in the groupchat.”

“What was that last thing you said?” Anthony asked, vaguely registering what Bucky said.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you guys!” Bucky replied, effectively ending the conversation. He smiled as the couple waved to him and continued walking through the airport, automatically finding their way to holding hands.

It was just under half an hour later when they left the airport, preparing for a scenic drive with hopefully minimal traffic.

Stephen glanced at Anthony as they got into his car, putting on his sunglasses. “How does it feel to be so bright that you put the sun to shame?”

Anthony shrugged, lightly tapping the steering wheel. “I dunno Steph, you tell me.”

“We’re not talking about me, douche” Stephen replied.

“Really? It seems like we are,” Anthony murmured. “Is there anything you want to get on the way home?”

“I don’t think so,” Stephen said with a yawn. “I’m just tired.”

Anthony nodded in agreement. “I don’t blame you, I don’t feel like doing much of anything today, we can see how we feel once we get in.”

“I don’t care what we do, I just want to be around you,” Stephen said breathlessly. He was still holding onto last night’s exhaustion, which only made him even more affectionate (and Stephen knew himself to be an extremely affectionate person as it was). 

He couldn’t help but smile when Anthony told him the feeling was mutual. 

++++

The next day, Anthony woke up to his phone ringing and at least 60 missed notifications from almost everyone he knew (mostly family). His mailbox was probably full from the amount of calls he got, everyone from his sister to his mother’s assistant trying to reach him. It was a sharp contrast to their afternoon spent lazing on the beach and by the pool, their air of panic almost tangible in Anthony’s phone.  

“Fucking hell,” he muttered, quietly enough so he didn’t wake up Stephen. He’d just scrolled through all of the various missed call, voicemail, and text notifications when Natasha called him again.

It was the combined noise of the annoying ringtone and Anthony slipping out of bed that woke Stephen up, the med student pouting slightly. “Anthony turn your alarm off.”

“I’m sorry Steph. It’s not my alarm though, my phone’s ringing. I’ll be back, I think my sister needs something,” Anthony replied. He softly kissed Stephen’s cheek before going into the kitchen to see what was going on.

Natasha didn’t answer Anthony’s text, calling him instead. “Do you really not know what happened?

“Good morning to you too,” Anthony replied. “And no, will you please tell me? You’re starting to scare me.”

“Hold on,” Natasha said. She hung up, only to call him back from their grandmother’s home phone. “Okay I’m back.”

“I thought you and Nonna were going to get Mom from the airport, what are you doing home?” Anthony asked.

“We—”

“Did the flight get delayed? I haven’t heard from Mamma since yesterday, she missed my calls,” Anthony continued.

Natasha became increasingly sad and frustrated with her brother as he kept interrupting her. He wasn’t doing it to be hurtful or dismissive, the siblings regularly talked over each other and it was in Anthony’s nature to speak his stream of consciousness aloud. Just this once Natasha needed him to listen first, to tether him to reality if only this one time. “Yeah, because—”

“I was hoping I’d have a call from her when I woke up, but she’s one of the only people I haven’t heard from today. Even her assistant called me, and he doesn’t usually—”

“Chiudi il becco! Per amor di Dio, chiudi quella cazzo di bocca e ascoltami!” Natasha snapped.

“Mi dispiace.” Anthony apologized immediately, hearing how upset Natasha was. “What’s wrong?”

“Look at the news,” Natasha replied, her voice shaking.

“Should I be looking for something specific?” Anthony asked, turning the TV on. “They’re about to go to a commercial, and—”

The rest of his response was cut off as he dropped his phone in shock.

Stephen was just falling into heavy sleep when he heard something crash, followed by frantic cursing from the kitchen. He sat up and was about to go see what was wrong when his phone rang, announcing a call from Rhodey. “Hey man, what’s up?”

“I just called Tones but he didn’t pick up and his mailbox is full, I was only calling to say that I’m so sorry and I hope the both of you are okay,” Rhodey said. “And obviously my family and I are here if you need.”

“What are you talking about? ... Did something happen? We just woke up, Ant went to go talk to Natasha,” Stephen replied.

“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you,” Rhodey said. “You guys can call me later if you feel up to it, okay?”

Stephen was still super confused, his concern increasing as he heard Anthony swearing again. “Okay, thanks Rhodey.”

He tossed his phone aside and stood up, walking a bit faster than normal for a sleepy Saturday. The situation, whatever it was, was too cryptic and Stephen was almost afraid of whatever he was about to find out. He was relieved when Anthony hugged him tightly, relieved that he hadn’t fainted the way Stephen worried originally. 

Even still, he was inconsolable and shaking like a leaf seconds away from falling to the ground. Anthony stumbled over his words, sentences turning into high pitched sobs as he tried to explain what happened. He eventually broke the hug and moved to sit in another room, still trembling as Stephen sat beside him. Anthony was close to panicking, needing comfort as much as he wanted to curl up alone and hide. He laid with his head on Stephen’s lap, his eyes staring sightlessly at the rug his mother picked specifically for this room and this house. He’d turned the television off after seeing the headline for the first time, refusing to accept it. He was still holding onto the remote, debating whether or not to turn the news channel back on as Stephen began to comfortingly pet his hair. Eventually he decided to do it, knowing he wouldn’t be able to say the truth himself. 

Anthony was stubborn, even in his worst and most painful moments, and forced himself to try anyway. “They hadn’t gotten to the airport yet,” he said, his voice strained from crying. 

Stephen, who’d been looking at him the whole time, just hummed and waited to see if Anthony would say anything else. 

He didn’t, and he didn’t need to as the anchorwoman on TV said everything there was to say. Stephen felt his blood turn to ice as he heard the story, each word in the anchor’s professional tone hurting more than the last. 

“Good morning and breaking news if you’re just joining us. Howard and Maria Stark were reported dead early this morning just outside of New York City, following what looks like a collision with at least one other vehicle in a major accident. Sources are unsure of exactly what happened and where, but the Starks were confirmed dead at the scene. They were reportedly on their way to JFK airport when the collision took place, Mr. Stark himself at the wheel. More updates to follow as we receive more information...”  

tags: @atypical-snowman @stark-strange-love2 @h3mmy @kiwidino @chocopiggy @doctorstephenvincentstarkstrange @maya-custodios-dionach @majesticnerdynerd @spooky-n-spunky @thespacecryptid @ocforeverything

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

Maybe In Another Life...

Summary: JJ is jealous of Andrew Mendoza because he has Emily and she doesn’t. Loosely from 15x07 "Rusty". Major spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet.

Jemily fic, but it’s a little bit of a sad one. I apologize in advance for breaking any hearts :(

Also big thanks to @bridget19 for beta-reading this!!

Read on AO3

Emily walked into her office and saw a bouquet of flowers on her desk. She saw a little red card in the bouquet and looked at the writing on it.

Thinking of you. - Andrew

Reaching for her phone in her bag, she saw her boyfriend’s name on the screen. Of course. She contemplated answering after four rings and sighed before tapping on the red circle to reject his call.

Emily didn’t know exactly where her relationship with Andrew Mendoza stood. This was a whole new experience for her because, sure, he’s a good guy, but is he really the one for her? She never did well in long-term relationships because of her trust and commitment issues. Emily always felt like someone could never love her enough to stay with her in the long run.

She sat down in her chair and heard a light knock at her office door. It was JJ giving her a bright smile and walking towards her desk.

“Morning,” the blonde greeted. “Another day, another dollar,” she sat on the armrest of the chair in front of it.

“Yep. Good old fashioned government dollar,” Emily joked.

“I can see Garcia hit up her favorite coffee truck on her way to work.”

“I had to cut her off,” Emily said. Garcia was more energetic than usual talking about the show they both watched, something about a blonde agent getting injured and professing her undying love to her female boss.

JJ smiled and nodded. “Wait, don’t you have a budget meeting this morning?”

Emily checked her watch. “Uh, yes, I do.”

JJ nodded again and drawled out, “Emily…”

The unit chief looked up and raised her eyebrows, “Yeah?”

“You buried the lead. Flowers?”

Emily hesitantly nodded.

“That Andrew Mendoza’s a keeper…” JJ teased.

“Mhmm,” Emily forced out a response as she stood from her chair, grabbing her black binder and phone for the FBI budget meeting.

“Can’t be late for that meeting,” she told the blonde as she made her way out of her office, tapping her shoulder with the binder.

“Mhmm,” JJ responded with a closed-mouth smile, watching Emily leave. She looked back at the flowers Andrew sent to Emily and her smile quickly faded away. JJ observed them with narrowed eyes, gripping the back of the chair a little tighter and harder than normal.

For a group of profilers, rarely anyone noticed JJ’s jealousy towards Andrew. When it came to the team’s love lives, she’d always smirked because it was just too fun to tease them about.

She reminded herself on many occasions that she had Will and her boys. Don’t get her wrong, she loves her family and has always made them one of her biggest priorities in life. But JJ also knew she would be a lot happier, if she shared her life with Emily Prentiss.

God, to be married to Emily Prentiss.

JJ smiled wistfully at the thought of being married to her. She would be so good with her sons. JJ knew Emily wanted to provide the maternal care she never had growing up, and imagined her giving that to Henry and Michael. Emily was also very loving and always listened to JJ’s problems, every rant and issue she had.

JJ knew Mendoza was a good guy. He’s good for Emily. The blonde bit her lip and stood from the armrest she was sitting on. She looked at the flowers again when she neared the door and took a slow deep breath, sighing. After a few more seconds, JJ left Emily’s office in sadness.

----------------------

The next day, the team was on the jet, going over the case with Garcia on video chat. The BAU had been called on another case and they had an unsub decapitating male victims and collecting their heads. They looked through their file folders for more details on their unsub’s victims, and all of a sudden, the tech analyst chimed in with a comment.

“Shut the front door. Andrew Mendoza signed this report.” Everyone’s heads shot up at her remark. “Andrew Mendoza is Prentiss’s boyfriend. He’s the head of the Denver field office?”

“Uh, yes,” Emily reluctantly replied. “He has been for the past, uh, two months. Um, his daughter and ex-wife moved to Colorado a year ago, and he'd been waiting for a transfer so he could be closer to Keely. She starts high school soon, so…”

Emily felt like she had just divulged a little too much to the team, and kept her mouth shut after receiving the awkward silence from them. She knew the case was in Denver, which was where Andrew was, but she wanted to keep her personal and work lives separate.

“But you guys are, um, you’re good?” Luke’s voice broke through.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s all good,” Emily nodded. Well, it was a half-lie because she didn't know.

Spencer looked at JJ, then Emily, then back to JJ. He studied her facial expression go from surprise, jealousy, amusement, to heartbreak. He didn’t know if the others noticed, but he trained his eyes on her when Penelope had mentioned Andrew.

JJ had been shot by Everett Lynch’s daughter, Grace, about a month ago. While in the hospital, she had told Spencer the truth about her confession she made to the unsub who made her play truth or dare the week before: that she was really in love with Emily. JJ thought if she was about to die in that situation, she had already trusted Spencer enough to keep that secret. The younger co-worker figured it wasn’t meant for him once he saw how she kept glancing over at Emily at Rossi's wedding, especially when JJ paid extra attention to her during the twin flames speech.

JJ had her head down as she quietly scanned through the file again the entire time. She frowned and her eyes were filled with sadness and a hint of regret, Spencer noted. Practically rolling her eyes, JJ didn't bother listening to the team talking about Mendoza.

“JJ, Reid, check out the latest crime scene. Tara, Luke, go to the M.E.’s office,” Emily ordered.

JJ nodded her head towards Spencer, who nodded back. He noticed she masked her pain behind her eyes with a smile when she did. Maybe they’ll talk about it later.

----------------------

JJ and Spencer had just investigated the unsub’s latest victim’s house before concluding that they needed more evidence from eyewitnesses for information on his behavior. After asking a few people, the two drove their way back to the field office.

JJ was focused on the road in front of her and Spencer examined her body language. His friend was gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles had turned white. She bit the inside of her cheek, and her eyes narrowed while her brows furrowed.

“JJ,” Spencer broke the silence.

She turned her head to glance at him, “What?”

“Your grip on the steering wheel is tighter than normal and the tone of your voice sounded controlled when you answered me, like you were holding back on something.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Does this have to do with Emily and Mendoza?”

JJ rolled her eyes, still focused on the road. “If Emily’s with him, then good for her.”

“What about when Garcia brought him up when we were on the jet?”

The blonde agent had enough. She took a turn to the nearest vacant spot and parked the SUV near the curb. She turned the engine off and faced the younger man. JJ quickly clasped her hands together, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

“Stop it, j- just stop. Please just… stop talking about Andrew, ok? I don’t want to talk about his relationship with Emily. I have to keep telling myself she’s happy with him and I have a life of my own now. So, I am begging you to stop,” JJ vented out to him. She felt tears pricking at her eyes towards the end of her rant.

“I was worried about you, JJ. I don’t like seeing my best friend hurt like this,” Spencer frowned as his eyes softened.

JJ shook her head to stop her tears from falling, but felt one single tear trail down. She bit her bottom lip, so she would not start sobbing.

“I- look, I’m sorry for snapping at you, Spence,” JJ sincerely apologized, rubbing her fingers in an attempt to soothe her worries. She knew he meant well and that he hates seeing her in pain, especially if it’s over the woman she loves. “It’s just that-”

JJ exhaled out another deep breath to compose herself. “There were flowers Andrew sent Emily, and I had to bring them over to her desk before she came in her office.”

The delivery man had arrived at the FBI building, holding a bouquet of flowers. He looked around to see if there was anyone expecting them. He saw a blonde woman pass by and quickly caught her attention.

“Excuse me. Are you Emily Prentiss?” He read his clipboard to check the name.

“Oh, no. I’m sorry, I’m not her,” JJ shook her head and smiled.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he frowned. “I got flowers for her from someone named Andrew Mendoza,” he gestured to the bouquet.

JJ froze for a second and she heard her heart shatter before responding with a polite smile, the one she used in her past liaison days. “I can leave them in her office, if that’s ok.”

“Thank you. Can you sign this for her?”

“Of course.”

After signing the clipboard and thanking the delivery man for Emily’s flowers, JJ took them and walked up to the brunette’s office. She held the flowers in her hands and frowned deeply. 'Things must be getting serious, then?' JJ wished she was the one bringing her flowers and not… him. She set the bouquet down on Emily's desk before leaving her office.

“What am I going to do?” JJ rested her forehead on the steering wheel, still gripping it. “Things seem to be going well with him and I don't think I'll ever make her that happy, not the way Andrew does. I really lost my chance with her 12 years ago,” she sighed in defeat.

“13 years, 1 day, 17 hours, 34 minutes, and 6 seconds, to be exact,” Spencer corrected her.

“Was I really that obvious?” JJ chuckled.

The doctor shrugged, “I’ve noticed you subconsciously having similar habits to Emily, like playing with your fingers and biting your lip when you’re nervous, or even dressing up similarly to her. You stare at her whenever she's not looking, for approximately 4.78 seconds. Your body seems less tense when you hear her voice, almost as if that’s the only thing that calms you down. Your pupils dilate and your cheeks turn red every time she gives you a compliment and-”

JJ cut him off with a laugh, "Ok, I think I get it."

"Oh," he quickly shut his mouth, not realizing he was rambling again.

“Spence?”

He looked at her.

“Thank you. For keeping this secret between us,” JJ said.

“It’s no problem. You are my best friend,” Spencer gave a small awkward nod.

JJ gratefully smiled at him and patted his shoulder before turning the engine on again to drive back to the field office.

----------------------

“Coffee?” JJ announced her and Spencer’s presence, holding cups for Luke and Tara. They gathered evidence that the unsub was dealing with alternate realities, and found themselves getting a little closer to finding him and what his motives are.

“Look, guys, we are banging our heads against a wall here,” Tara said. “I mean, Denver is littered with colleges, and we’ve already worked our way through most of the academics and scientists.”

“Well, you know what? We just need to take a step back and look at things differently,” JJ said. “The Mandela effect is a unique psychological construct, right? I mean, there’s got to be a good reason why he latched onto it in particular.”

“Well, creation of dissociative realities can often be a crutch for people who’ve suffered extreme trauma,” Spencer started with a fact that may be a clue to the unsub’s motive.

After a beat, Tara nodded and considered his statement, “Ok, let’s run with that. We’re looking for a loss triggered by an event likely caused by the unsub himself, and then this inability to accept this reality would be a defense mechanism for a mind racked with guilt.”

“So, unable to face reality, our unsub has created his own,” Luke connected.

“Still doesn’t explain why he’s killing fathers, though,” Spencer said after taking a sip of his coffee.

Luke shook his head and elaborated on the theory, “Unless it does. Say his own guilt is a major factor in a break like this. That would mean that he's picking out dads out of some kind of self-loathing.”

“This isn’t hatred towards his own dad,” JJ realized. “These men are surrogates for him. He’s angry at himself. Our unsub’s the father here.”

JJ recalled her colleagues’ words. She thought about the idea of parallel universes in that moment. Was she relating to the unsub? Had she subconsciously made an alternate reality where she and Emily were together because of her own guilt? It wasn’t the appropriate time to dwell on that thought, then again, when has she ever found the right time?

----------------------

The team had just finished solving the case, and were heading back to the hotel they were staying at. It was almost midnight and most of them were already in their hotel rooms. Emily had come back from visiting Mendoza and his daughter, Keely. JJ was in the hallway grabbing a small pack of Cheetos from a vending machine near her room.

Emily shook her head and smirked, Some things never change.

JJ was walking back to her room and smiled when she saw Emily, waving a hand at her. The younger woman decided it was the perfect time to talk to her since she wasn’t with Andrew.

She jogged up to the unit chief, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Uh, listen. I know it’s late right now, but… do you maybe wanna hang out for a bit? Just you and me,” the blonde quietly offered, placing her free hand into her pocket.

Emily nodded, “I’d like that.”

JJ gave a soft nervous chuckle before the two women walked to the younger agent’s room. JJ opened the door and held it open for Emily to step inside.

She lightly scratched her head and pointed at a plastic bag on the table near the TV, “Um… the team went out for dinner and I might’ve saved you some food, since you weren’t there.”

“Heh, thanks,” Emily said, acknowledging JJ’s considerate action and sitting on her bed..

The younger woman sat next to her. It was an openly awkward silence between the two agents, which was rare because they usually found ways to entertain one another. After a little while, JJ broke the silence.

“So, parallel universes, huh?”

“Yep,” Emily chuckled.

“Do you believe in all that?”

“Hmm?”

JJ grew quiet, “That there are multiple universes that have several possibilities we don’t really think about often?”

The unit chief looked at her hands for a moment before responding, “Sometimes, yeah. Do you?”

JJ slowly nodded in agreement, “Sometimes.” She was wringing her hands, something she did when she was nervous and didn’t know how to put things into words. “You know when my mom came to town, she told me about imagined futures and projecting yourself in them. Like a movie about how your life would play out, if you had things your way and it got me thinking.”

“About?”

She contemplated on her next words and squinted her eyes at the floor, recalling a memory a little while back. “Emily, do you remember when you said something about twin flames at Krystall and Dave’s wedding? That sometimes, it takes a parallel universe for them to be together again?”

“Yeah. I’m surprised you even remembered that,” Emily said.

JJ silently nodded and gently took Emily’s hand in hers, rubbing small circles with her thumb. The unit chief looked down at their hands and furrowed her brows in confusion.

JJ slowly licked her lips before making eye contact with her. It’s now or never. “Do you think maybe in another lifetime… you’d ever give us a shot? You know… together?”

Emily’s eyes widened, registering what she just heard, “JJ-“

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry I told you this, Emily,” JJ regretted and tried to stand up, but was stopped by a hand gently pulling her wrist.

“No, it’s not that. It’s-“ Emily gestured for her to sit down. “I just didn’t know you felt that way about me."

JJ shook her head, “I’m sorry. I- I didn’t know how to tell you this and I know it’s already too late.” She couldn’t stop the tears that were falling and she felt soft hands cup her face to wipe them away.

“Hey, hey. It’s ok,” the brunette soothed her nerves. “It’s ok, I got you.”

JJ leaned into Emily’s gentle caring touch. She raised her hands up to where Emily’s rested, and held onto them. “I- I talked to Spence the time I was shot and told him I was in love with you. I told him if things were different, I would have a chance with you. I sometimes think about how life would be if… we were together. I would’ve shared the boys with you, Emily. They love you and you love them. I would’ve loved being called your wife.”

JJ took a sharp intake of breath before letting out a bitter laugh and shaking her head, “You helped me through so much and came every time I needed you. You know, there were so many moments I kept wishing for something more, and it confused me because I didn’t realize how much happier I felt with you around.” She felt a salty tear trickle down her lips and sniffled, “I love you, Emily. And I’m sorry it took me years to say it out loud because I’m a coward.”

Emily listened to her and processed everything she just said. JJ really was in love with her all these years. It wasn’t just in her head. She was still silent and it made JJ want to run away in shame and guilt.

JJ’s eyes widened in fear as she rapidly blinked. She shook her head, mouth opening and closing as she tried to explain herself, “Emily, I- I-”

“Hey, breathe. Just breathe, ok, JJ?” Emily softened. She pressed their foreheads together to calm JJ’s nerves. “Just listen to my voice and look at me, ok? I’m here.”

JJ took deep breaths and listened to Emily while making eye contact with her through her eyelashes. The older woman wrapped an arm around JJ’s shoulders and pulled her close. “How about we lay down? Is that ok?” Emily suggested and JJ nodded.

The two scooted up to the pillows and Emily still held the younger woman close to her body. JJ felt herself relax in her warm and comforting embrace, eyes fluttering closed to take all of this in. Emily slowly rubbed big circles on JJ’s back and kissed her soft blonde hair.

After about two minutes, JJ lifted her head and blue eyes scanned Emily’s features. She raised her left hand to brush brown bangs away from her forehead. JJ silently asked Emily if it’s ok, and the unit chief nodded, knowing what her question was. The two always were best at silent communication with each other.

So, the blonde leaned closer and they both closed her eyes, listening to their nervous yet steady breaths. JJ closed the gap between them and their lips connected perfectly, like they were each other’s missing puzzle pieces the entire time. Emily tucked in a piece of hair behind JJ’s ear and brushed a thumb against her cheek.

Holding the back of her neck, JJ adjusted her body to straddle the brunette’s hips. Emily carefully sat up and cupped each side of her face. Both women thought the amount of passion in their kiss would make up for the time they’ve lost together. Tonight was the only time they really had the chance to be together, with no worry in the world. There was no Andrew, no Will, none of the members of the team or their troubled pasts. It was just JJ and Emily as lovers for tonight.

Emily reluctantly pulled away to rest their foreheads together, while JJ’s eyes were still closed and blindly chasing after her lips. The younger woman’s hand was still buried in dark hair as she slowly opened her eyes, licking her lips. She saw Emily’s pupils dilated from the almost heated kiss and chest heaving to regulate her breathing back to normal. Emily gave JJ a short and sweet kiss before JJ laid back down beside her.

“You know, I was kinda wishing we’d done more than just that,” Emily admitted quietly.

JJ nodded against her shoulder, “Me too. But we can’t.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry for everything,” JJ said, her head now in the crook of Emily’s neck and sighing. “I wish I’d said something before.”

Emily bit her bottom lip and looked at the ceiling, “I wish I’d said something, too.”

“Maybe in another life…”

“Yeah," Emily softly said. She didn't need to hear the rest because she thought the same thing. Her hand made its way down to connect with JJ’s, squeezing it lightly to know that everything is going to be ok.

JJ glanced down at their joined hands and raised them up to her lips to kiss the older woman’s knuckles. “You know, I remember joking around with Spence one time that it was his and Penelope’s job to get Henry into Yale. I didn’t even realize you went to Yale. I guess I really was thinking about you the entire time, huh? I think I wanted Henry to follow in your footsteps.”

Emily raised her eyebrows in amusement, “Wow.” She blushed and looked down at their hands, hiding a small grin, “You really wanted Henry to be like me?”

“In a way, yeah,” the blonde agent nodded, running her thumb over Emily’s. “Well, maybe without the goth phase in high school…”

Emily playfully shoved her and JJ laughed. She cringed at that goddamn awful photo Garcia had pulled up once and teased her about, “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

JJ shook her head, smiling, and Emily groaned.

“To be honest, I’ve always imagined us living in Charlottesville, for some reason,” JJ stared at the ceiling, getting lost in her thoughts. “Maybe when we retire, we’d find a nice, stable home for us and the kids, you know? I think I want a place to finally settle down and not worry so much about what we deal with on a daily basis. Maybe we’d actually see our kids grow up and not miss out on that. There’s some wineries and vineyards we could go to… and this really good restaurant I could show you sometime, if we ever have a day off. Some places we could hike, you know if you’re up for it…” she winked at her.

Emily nodded, “That sounds nice. As for the hiking, that’s a definite no.”

JJ softly laughed and kissed her cheek, sighing contentedly, “What about you? What’s your alternate reality?”

Emily smiled, “Remember that story I told you about my grandfather’s home in the French Alps? I always thought that once we retire from the BAU, we’d go up there after our kids graduate high school. I kinda thought about taking his place up there after he died. You know, just to get away from things. Maybe you could ski with the kids and I’d be inside making us some tea and hot chocolate. We’d gather around a little fire and, I don’t know, make some crafty things.”

JJ nodded and lifted her head to look at her, “You still haven’t answered my question earlier. Would you have considered it?”

Emily let out a chuckle and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead, “I wouldn’t even hesitate.”

“I love you, Emily. I want you to know that,” JJ whispered, leaning back up to kiss her again.

Emily smiled sadly as she responded with, “Always, blackbird. I will always love you, too.”

Tonight was just them, JJ and Emily, no one else. They can worry about the rest tomorrow. For now, this was their chance to be together. A thought crossed Emily’s mind as she remembered her own speech about twin flames:

Twin flames. Two souls that are always meant to be together. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it takes a parallel universe or something. But the thing about twin flames is that nothing can keep them apart. They are a magic unto themselves, and together, they light the way for all of us.

Now looking back at it, she remembered how her eyes kept darting back to JJ’s at the wedding. The way the ghost of a frown was on JJ’s face as she squeezed Will’s hand in reassurance, or how JJ snuck a little smile at Emily when she stood in between her husband and her long-lost lover. The following events when JJ was shot, Emily remembered how her heart rate increased on the monitor once she entered the hospital room to check up on her.

Was Emily so blind to realize that JJ loved her back? She had missed all those signs JJ had displayed over the years. They could have been together, if only both of them said something sooner.

This was their time, their time alone. This universe gave them this night together. Only in another life, would they be together for certain.

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[ukulelecal]

Bloom - Part Three

The story of flowers.

Pairing: Poet!Luke Hemmings x Female!OC

Warnings: mentions of alcohol/drinking, anxiety, bit of angst, fluff as well

Word Count: 7.9k

A/N: the finale!! i really really loved writing this and i hope you all enjoyed reading it. if yall are interested i would love to write more about luke and devon in the future!! anyways. like always, i ask you to remember how important reblogs and feedback are, and i hope you love it!!!

series masterlist

my masterlist // posted on ao3

Moving back in with Luke was as painless as moving could be.

It was much easier than when Devon left in the first place. She didn’t have help then, and there was the anxiety about moving to a whole new place and starting grad school all while going through a breakup. This time, Luke was there, and she was going to a place she knew and loved.

Within a week, Devon was packed up and ready to go again, after a quick pause for the official release of Luke’s book, a cause for celebration. All her belongings were taken by the movers and her and Luke flew back home without a hitch. Ashton was still in the process of packing up his own belongings and assured the couple that he would be out within a few days, cracking a joke about making sure to keep the noise down until he was gone. Devon and Luke sped up the process by helping him pack and transfer everything over to Calum and Michael’s flat.

Finally, they were alone. And thank God for that.

“Is it weird being back?” Luke asked over breakfast the first morning that it was just the two of them. Devon shrugged.

“I thought it would be, but it’s really not. Feels natural,” she explained. Luke smiled in satisfaction, feet rubbing against each other under the table.

He was so glad to have her back. As much as he liked living with Ashton, he needed his girl back. He needed to wake up next to her, share good morning kisses and cuddles until daily duties finally pulled them out of bed. Ashton didn’t make nearly as good of a dance partner while making dinner and definitely never gave Luke a good night kiss.

Now that Devon was back, they could go back to all their normals from before. Luke could lay his head in her lap while she read a book and he wrote. At least, he would try to. The feeling of Devon gently scratching his scalp always distracted him and made him sleepy.

Devon, ever the early riser, could sneak out of bed in the mornings to make a run to the local cafe down the street from their apartment complex for coffee and pastries and be back before Luke ever noticed she was gone. She’d always climb back into bed with him for a bit if she didn’t have anywhere to be, knowing he hated to wake up without her there.

Things had finally fallen into place.

With breakfast finished and cleaned up, Luke and Devon got themselves ready for the day before meeting in the living room.

“What now?” Luke asked, throwing his arms out. “We have the whole rest of summer until you start school again. What do you want to do?”

“Not to be boring, but first things first, I want to see if I can get my old job back,” she chuckled, causing Luke to roll his eyes playfully, though he understood. Rent and loans wouldn’t pay themselves. “But, I haven’t been here in a year. I want to do it all.”

Luke smiled, stepping towards and snatching up his car keys.

“Let’s go, then. Summer won’t last forever.”

Back in Bertha, Luke drove Devon to the office building where she used to work as a receptionist. She hated it, if she was honest with herself; the people there were stuffy and boring, but the job paid well, and that’s all she needed until she finished grad school and got a permanent job. A quick conversation with her old boss had her rehired, the woman expressing how Devon was always the most organized receptionist they ever had, before she made her way back to Luke.

“I am officially a receptionist again starting Monday,” she announced with fake enthusiasm as she shut the car door behind her. “Anyways, I’m thinking a walk in the park and then the panini place a few blocks down for lunch, if that’s okay with you.”

Luke didn’t answer. Devon looked up from clicking her seatbelt into place to find him staring at her with an adoring grin, eyes twinkling with love.

“What?” She mumbled sheepishly, heat rising to her cheeks.

“I’m so glad I’ve got you back, honey. I love you so much.”

Devon barely had the chance to return the sentiment before Luke was leaning over the center console, beard tickling her as he pressed a needed kiss to her lips. He reached over to give her knee a squeeze before throwing the car into reverse.

“Off to the park!”

The walk was relaxing. Luke and Devon both found solace in nature, absorbing up the sunshine and fresh air. Devon realized she needed an updated picture of him in all his beard and glasses glory for her lockscreen. She picked a few daisies from the ground and tucked them behind his ear, using her free hand to cup the side of his face opposite from the flowers and took the picture. It was adorable; his eyes squinted from the sun and his grin was full of joy. She loved it, wasting no time in setting it as her lockscreen. He teased her about it, but a picture of her laughing across the table from him at the restaurant quickly became his new lockscreen.

It was an amazing day. The best day either of them had had in a while, right up there with Luke’s book release. They drifted off to sleep that night with smiles on their faces, ever so content and ever so in love.

One evening some weeks later, Luke hopped in the shower while Devon wandered around the bedroom until he was done so they could watch a movie. She stopped in front of the small book shelf in the corner, eyes landing on The Life of a Flower. She picked up the book, fingertips trailing over the familiar orchids on the cover.

She had read it all the way through a few times, and it didn’t take long to realize that the entire book was about her. The very first poem in it was The Orchids, the first poem Luke had written for her. It started off happy, all poems about their loving relationship, but they slowly got more tragic as the book went on, poems about their breakup. Many of the poems had flower themes, including the flower referenced in the title of the book being a symbol of their relationship and it’s journey.

The final poem was called Sunshine Can’t Save Me Now. It was about a broken man - Luke, surely - trying to save a flower that was already dead - his and Devon’s relationship. He explained that he was at a very low point when he wrote it, admitting that he didn’t have much hope at the time. It was the right way to end the book, considering the state of Luke’s life when it was finished.

It took Luke a half hour to calm Devon down when she finished the book for the first time. She couldn’t stop sobbing as he held her, assuring her that everything was okay now. Her tears were caused by a mixture of resurfaced painful memories and the pure heartbreaking beauty of Luke’s poetry.

She let out a deep sigh. Just thinking about it made her want to cry. The poems really revealed how Luke was feeling about the breakup. He opened up to her about going through a bit of a rough patch, but his poetry said far more than what he ever said to her out loud. She only wished things could have been different; maybe the book would have had a happy ending.

“You ready, babe?”

Devon’s head snapped up at Luke’s voice, seeing him step into the bedroom with wet curls and only a pair of joggers on his legs. She quickly put the book on the shelf and grinned at him.

“Yep, I’m ready.”

She walked towards him, expecting him to turn and go into the living room, but his large hands rested on her forearms, stopping her.

“You okay?” He asked with concern. He didn’t miss the frown on her face when he first walked into the room.

“I’m alright, bubs. Come on,” she insisted, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the living room.

“You sure?” He coaxed as they sat down on the couch together. She looked up at him with a smile and nodded. He searched her face; she really did look alright. He sighed and pressed a prickly kiss to her cheek. “Okay.”

Devon tossed a blanket over the two of them as Luke pulled up the movie. She cuddled into him easily, head resting on his bare shoulder. With an arm wrapped around her shoulders, his fingertips gently danced over her forearm, the touches subtle but meaningful.

They greatly appreciated the quiet moments like this. No expectations, worries, or watching eyes. Just the two of them, flowers in a pot rather than a field.

Devon felt her eyes start to droop, as they did most times when they watched movies at night and she got too comfortable. Luke would tease her relentlessly about not being able to stay awake through an entire movie, but he was more than happy to hold her sleeping figure until the movie ended, then carry her into bed with him.

Halfway through the movie, Luke glanced down to see Devon’s eyes closed, noticing her breath had slowed down. A soft grin spread across his face. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. The weight of school and work weren’t twisting her face. She was at ease, calm.

Luke’s lips ever so softly connected with Devon’s forehead. The tickle of his beard made her stir for a moment, but quickly settled back into his shoulder. He wanted this forever. He wanted Devon to fall asleep on him every night, fall asleep with her in his arms and wake up with her right there next to him. He had known that for a long time, but at the moment, the love he felt for the stunning woman right next to him was overwhelming.

He watched her sleep for another moment before an idea popped into his head.

He quickly paused the movie and gently scooped Devon up into his arms. She cuddled into him, thankfully staying asleep as Luke carried her into the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and pulled the sheets carefully over her. Once he was sure she was still asleep, Luke quickly moved into the spare room and pulled out his most recent notebook.

The words came easily, flowing out onto the paper as water flowed through a stream. The poem was short but heavy, a depiction of white roses to match a white gown. A vow to love forever, through whatever life may throw at them. Through sickness and in health. He let out a deep breath once the final line was written.

Luke would save the poem for later; now wasn’t a good time. But one day, Devon would hear it, and have a brand new ring on her finger to go along with it.

…

The rest of the summer was certainly one to remember.

Devon and Luke were lucky to have similar work schedules. Their days off typically lined up, and even if they couldn’t see each other much during the day, they were always both home to have dinner together.

Luke’s book was doing well in sales and reviews. Readers begged for more, desperate to find some sort of closure on the wilting relationship detailed in the book. They had no idea that things worked out in the end, the flowers revived.

Summer came to a close. Devon’s second and final year of grad school was starting, only two semesters away from her master’s degree. Luke had some promotion opportunities for The Life of a Flower lined up, and was starting to think about a second book.

He was hesitant to quit his job at the bookstore. He didn’t feel like he was established enough in the poetry world to be financially stable without a more steady source of income. If he could just write all day, every day, he would. Until then, he would stay a manager at the quaint store in the city.

“Are you nervous?” Luke whispered to Devon the night before her first day of classes. The couple was cuddled up in bed, Devon’s head on Luke’s chest.

“A bit,” she sighed. “I guess I’m more nervous about what comes after I graduate.”

She figured a master’s degree would open more opportunities, but there was always uncertainty when it came to job hunting. She had time before she needed to start looking, but the thought always made her worry.

“Don’t be nervous, honey. You’re the smartest person I know. I have every faith in you that you’ll be amazing. And remember, I’ll always be here.”

His words brought a smile to her face. He always knew just what to say when she needed comfort.

“I love you,” she whispered as she began to drift off. She heard his return of the sentiment before sleep took over, her final sleep before being thrown into the whirlwind of a final year of grad school.

…

First semester was nothing short of overwhelming.

Devon was swamped with assignments, constantly scrambling to get things done between classes and on her breaks at work. She spent hours at her computer, back aching and eyes burning, pressure heavy on her shoulders.

It took a lot of deep breaths and reevaluation to remind herself that she only needed to get through two semesters, and she would be done. She would have her master’s and grad school would be over. School being done meant a job hunt, but she tried not to think about what came next. She needed to stay focused in the present.

Luke wasn’t around much. He was away a lot doing interviews and signings for his book, taking up extra hours at the bookstore in his free time to save money - for multiple things he had in mind.

When he was home, Luke’s mission was to make sure Devon stayed sane. He could see the stress school was putting on her, and she tended to overwork herself. He had to force her to take breaks, even if it meant physically lifting her from her desk chair and carrying her into the kitchen to eat. She would always give in, but it never lasted long until she scurried back to her studies. Saturday nights, however, were always reserved for date night. No work, no school, no commitments to anything other than each other. It was their favorite night of the week in which they got to relax and let their minds drift from responsibility.

Winter break was like a sigh of relief for the couple. Devon got her first proper night’s sleep in months, putting Luke’s worried self at ease. They divided up the time between Luke’s family and Devon’s family, of course setting some time aside for themselves. It was relaxing, refreshing, and the perfect break before second semester.

Now just a few months away from her master’s degree, Devon had to bring her A-game. She had her thesis paper to worry about, along with the dreaded job search. It was a lot to tackle all at once, but she was prepared for the challenge. She had her eyes on the prize, and all the stress would be worth it in the end when she fulfilled her goal.

Luke still had promotion things to do, but he was starting to focus on writing more. He wanted his second book to have a story like his first one did. He planned on making it a sequel of sorts, a tale of his and Devon’s saved relationship after their breakup period, but not in a way that a reader would have to read The Life of a Flower to understand.

It was only a couple weeks into the second semester that Devon’s workload quickly got massive. Between gradual work on her thesis paper, class assignments and her job, things got difficult pretty quickly. Luke was busy as well, cranking out drafts upon drafts of poems that he wasn’t even happy with. He knew he needed to slow down and focus on quality over quantity, but it was difficult when he knew publishers would want options.

Luke and Devon’s individual stress began to put a stress on their relationship.

There was hardly time for each other. Devon was usually out of bed before Luke in the mornings, and it was a guessing game to see who would retire to bed first at night. No matter who it was, it was always at an hour far too late. It affected Devon especially, who was used to turning in early most nights. There were rarely good night or good morning kisses, and most dinners were whatever was easiest and quickest.

Actual date night got canceled most Saturdays as someone was usually too tired to go out; it had gotten to a point where the closest semblance they had had to a date in weeks was a trip to the grocery store.

All of the tension built up more and more, and eventually it led to the little time they had to spend together being full of petty arguments. It started with Devon snapping at Luke for leaving his pants on the bedroom floor, and it only grew from there. Little things that used to not bother them much caused ridiculous bickering.

It was scaring Devon. Their relationship was starting to feel like the days leading up to their breakup. Tense and bitter. Every little argument with Luke left a foul taste in her mouth, and she didn’t want to let it go on. They promised each other that they were going to make things work, and that meant they needed to sit down and talk like adults.

Devon knocked softly on the spare bedroom door where Luke had shut himself away to work, as usual. She heard a soft “come in” from inside, and gently pushed the door open.

Luke looked up from his notebook, and she quickly noticed the dark circles under his eyes. What pained Devon the most was that they had probably been there the whole time and she had been too frustrated to notice. Not frustrated at him, either; it was school and work, and she was taking it out on him.

“You alright?” He asked, seeing the worried look on her face. She simply sighed and stepped forward, taking his open arms as an invitation to take a seat on his lap.

“Can we talk, bubs?” She whispered. Luke’s hand gently rubbed her thigh as he nodded in agreement. Devon continued. “I’m sorry I’ve been so rude to you lately. It’s not an excuse but school has just been a pain in the ass.”

“It’s okay, honey. I’m sorry too. I think we’ve both just been really on edge lately,” he mumbled, pulling her closer. “We need to find time to unwind.”

Devon hummed in agreement, leaning her head on Luke’s chest. The gentle thump of his heartbeat was comforting as she took in his touch. She couldn’t remember the last time they were so close physically.

“My spring break is coming up next month. Maybe we could go somewhere? Even if it’s just for a few days?”

Luke smiled a bit at the suggestion.

“That sounds nice.”

Perhaps a getaway would do them good. They could leave all work and school behind and just have fun together. The last time they took a trip was spring break junior year of undergrad. They spent most days getting drunk and making out on the beach. They laughed until they forgot what was funny and ate their way through the local restaurants. Maybe they were overdue for a nice vacation.

Devon leaned up to press a kiss to Luke’s scruffy chin.

“Let’s go to bed, bubs.”

The two of them climbed into bed at the same time for the first time in a long time that night. Luke pulled Devon into his arms and they exchanged a good night kiss, thoughts of a vacation lulling them to sleep.

…

Luke and Devon eventually decided on going back to the beach for spring break. They didn’t have much money to go anywhere fancy, and they had a lot of good memories associated with the place. Devon insisted on taking her car for the drive, unsure about Bertha’s ability to make it through the trip, but Luke still insisted on being the driver.

With luggage loaded into the trunk, the couple hit the road.

As passenger, Devon got the aux. She played the road trip playlist that she perfectly crafted for the occasion, and the drive was spent singing along and dancing in their seats.

Devon glanced over at Luke. It was golden hour, a gorgeous glow casting over the gorgeous boy that she was lucky enough to call hers. He looked so happy and in his element. Devon squeezed his hand that was resting in her lap.

“You’re staring,” Luke mumbled without returning her gaze, a small smirk on his face. She giggled.

“Can’t help it. You’re beautiful.”

A blush spread across his cheeks under the orange glow of the setting sun. She squeezed his hand again as a reassurance before turning her eyes back to the road.

Soon enough, Luke pulled into the parking lot of the small hotel they had booked a room at, the same place they stayed at junior year. It wasn’t exactly a five star establishment, but they didn’t expect to be spending much time there anyway.

After loading their small amount of luggage from the trunk, they made their way into the quaint lobby to check in. The walls were covered top to bottom in tacky beach decorations, coastal throw pillows on the white couches. It wasn’t what Devon would call good interior design, but it was fitting for the location and only made her more excited for the trip.

“We’ve got a reservation under Hemmings.”

The man at the front desk handed them their room keys and a pamphlet with some local attractions and restaurant recommendations. They were off to their room afterwards, a small thing but plenty for the two of them.

“Remember the last time we came here?” Devon asked as they got settled in, carrying her toiletries into the bathroom.

“I remember coming, but I can’t say I remember much of the actual vacation.”

Devon laughed at that; they spent a good majority of the trip drunk. She couldn’t say she remembered many specifics either, just some tidbits. Based on the blurry pictures they found in their camera rolls afterwards, they could imagine they had a good time.

Luke pulled on a clean shirt before joining Devon in the bathroom where she was leaning over the shower, setting her shampoo and conditioner on the wire shelf on the wall. She turned around to face him, finding a small smile on his face.

“C’mere, honey,” he hummed with open arms. Devon flushed and melted into him, feeling him press a kiss to the top of her head. “This was a great idea. I love you.”

“I love you too, bubs.” She puckered her lips for a kiss that Luke gladly delivered. “How about we walk around to find a place for dinner?”

Luke agreed and the two were out the door. Hand in hand, they strolled around the small beach town. There wasn’t a chain restaurant in sight; every place was a local business. They didn’t look like much on the outside, but the couple were firm believers that the holes in the wall and the greasy spoons were usually the best places.

A taco restaurant with a calming seafoam green exterior beckoned Devon and Luke inside, sitting down for dinner. The slightly run down building was no comparison to the delicious food.

With full stomachs, the couple made their way to the beach. The spring breaker crowd was thin at the time, most people gone for dinner, but surely it would fill up again later at night for the real fun.

Luke and Devon slowly strolled down the beach, carrying their shoes in their hands that weren’t interlaced together. The sun was barely still peaking out, and a cool breeze began to rip through the air.

“I forgot how pretty it is,” Devon commented as they walked. The setting sun over the ocean was a lovely sight to see. Luke hummed, dropping her hand in favor of wrapping it around her waist.

“I love it,” he mumbled in response. “And I love you, honey.”

Devon turned her head to press a chaste kiss to his shoulder, leaning her cheek on the spot.

“I love you too, Lu.”

They walked until they reached a wooden bench swing. It was a bit creaky but comfortable, Luke using his feet to slowly swing them back and forth.

“I’d like to live here one day,” Devon said dreamily. “On the beach. Maybe after we retire. We’ll be that old couple that sits on their front porch all day and watches the waves.”

Luke could picture it perfectly. They would be the laid back grandparents that took the grandkids to the beach all the time, having bonfires in their backyard on warm summer nights. They would have their own little beach house with a porch swing and a dog. He wasn’t too keen on growing old just yet, but the thought definitely made the future seem bright.

“One day,” he affirmed. “But what about now? Where do you want to live after you graduate?”

“I think I want to stay where we are.” She glanced up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Is that where you want to be?”

“It is.” He bent down and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “We could live anywhere and I would be happy as long as I had you, Dev.”

“You’re so cheesy,” she chuckled although her heart soared. She felt the same way; white picket fence house or tiny apartment, she would be content so long as she had Luke.

“I’m a poet. It’s my specialty.”

The couple laughed before falling into silence again.

Luke meant what he said. He still wanted to be in the city and close to all the job opportunities for Devon, but he wanted more than their little apartment. It was perfect for college students, but they had always yearned for something more. Once Devon got a job after graduation and if his book sales continued to be successful, they could achieve their dreams soon.

The rest of the trip was pure bliss. They spent their days lounging on the beach and popping in and out of antique shops in the town. There were many photos, many laughs, many heartfelt kisses. It was exactly what they needed to recharge and regroup. After weeks of tension, they were finally at ease.

All too soon, it was back to reality. Devon had a thesis paper to finish, and Luke had a book to get back to work on. However, they were confident that the workload wouldn’t put such a strain on their relationship this time. They had a newfound energy to power through and make things work.

Time flew by, and before either of them knew it, Devon was only two weeks away from graduation. She was only two weeks from having her master’s degree. She had to admit she was proud of herself. Grad school was no walk in the park, and she was about to finish. In a world that seemed to be against her, she was succeeding.

It was both an exciting and stressful time in her life. She was approaching the finish line, and she even had a few job offers lined up. No more receptionist work for her.

There was one thing that was bringing her down; the damn thesis paper.

Her first draft was done, but she wasn’t happy with it. She spent hours editing and rewriting, fingers cramping from all the typing. She only had another week to finish, and the panic was starting to set in.

“You’re working yourself ragged, honey,” Luke said one afternoon, not missing the concerningly dark circles under Devon’s eyes or the fact that she had been wearing the same shirt for three days. He placed his hands on her shoulders, thumbs working the stiff muscles. “Come on, take a break.”

“I don’t have time, Luke,” she huffed, eyes never leaving her computer screen. “I only have a week to finish and this paper is shit.”

Luke felt his heart break in his chest. It pained him to see her so stressed out and unsure of herself. Devon was a perfectionist; she would settle for nothing less than fantastic for her paper.

“Devon, look at me,” he mumbled, gently grabbing her chin to turn her face towards him. Exhaustion weighed heavy on her features.

One look into Luke’s sincere blue eyes had Devon’s own watering. Her bottom lip trembled as she turned around in her chair to stand up. She collapsed into Luke’s arms, a pained sob escaping her lips.

“It’s so hard, Lu,” she choked out. “It’s so hard.”

“Oh, honey,” he cooed, slowly walking backwards until they reached the bed. He laid down and coaxed Devon to join, still crying into his chest. “It’s alright, just let it out. It’s okay to cry. I’m right here.”

She sobbed until she had no tears left, cries subsiding to the occasional sniffle. She felt a sense of relief, letting out a deep breath.

“You okay, baby?” Luke inquired. He only got a nod in response. “I told you you needed to take a break, Dev.”

She sighed and mumbled something incoherent, burying her head further into Luke’s chest.

“What do you want to do now, honey?” He asked. “You want to take a nap? I know you’re tired.”

She did want to nap. She wanted to sleep for days, but life didn’t allow that.

“Shower,” she grumbled, voice muffled. “Then nap.”

“Alright,” he agreed softly, thankful that she wasn’t fighting him on taking a break anymore.

While she showered, Luke straightened up her workspace a bit, knowing the mess would only stress her out more. He also prepped some celery with ranch dressing, one of Devon’s favorite snacks, for her to munch on before she went to sleep.

Devon let the hot water soothe her aching muscles. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, relishing in the warmth. She didn’t want to take too long of a break, but Luke was right; she was working too hard. If she was well rested, felt good, and paced herself, she would do much better.

After her shower, she changed into one of Luke’s clean t-shirts and her most comfortable pair of leggings. She stepped out of the bathroom and walked back to the bedroom, quickly noticing her tidy desk and the plate of celery on her nightstand.

She could have started crying again, just because of how sweet he was. He had a certain knack for being able to make her feel better instantly.

“I’ve got a snack for you to have before you take your nap,” Luke explained, standing up from the edge of the bed. “Celery and ranch.”

She stood up on her toes to press a grateful kiss to his lips.

“Thank you, bubs.”

Curled up in bed, she nibbled on her snack until she could barely keep her eyes open. Setting the plate back on the nightstand, she moved herself to lay down and curled up next to Luke.

“Don’t let me sleep too long, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise,” Luke assured. “Just go to sleep, honey. You need it.”

Devon dozed off contently. With Luke by her side, she was ready to take on the next two weeks.

…

Devon’s knee bounced the whole flight to the city of her grad school, as much as Luke tried to calm her down. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous; she had been through graduation ceremonies before. All she had to do was walk across the stage, get her diploma, and shake a few hands. It was simple.

“Why are you so nervous, honey?” He had asked, rubbing her thigh to soothe her.

“I don’t know,” she huffed. She reached for Luke’s hand on her leg to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. “I don’t think it’s the ceremony that I’m nervous about. It’s just...I don’t know.”

The fact that she didn’t know what was bothering her only stressed her out more. She knew there really was nothing to worry about. She had gone through her bag a million times before leaving for the airport; she had her cap and gown, as well as the dress and heels she bought for the occasion and enough clothes to last the trip. Her phone was tucked safely in the pocket of her joggers along with her wallet. Pretty much anything else, she could either live without for a few days or buy it there.

If she wasn’t worried about the ceremony and she knew she packed all the essentials, then what was she so nervous about?

Luke dropped it for the rest of the plane ride, but once they got to the hotel, getting ready to meet Devon’s parents for dinner, the way she paced around the room and fidgeted with everything she could get her hands on was starting to make him nervous.

“Everything is going to be fine, Dev. You’re getting your master’s and your parents are going to be there to see you. I know they are so proud of you. You worked so hard for this. Isn’t that exciting?”

The realization finally hit.

Devon’s parents expected a lot from her. She knew they always wanted the best for her, and she did everything she could to make them proud. Her parents were loving people. They always said that they would be proud of her no matter what, but Devon never felt like she was doing enough.

“That’s just it, Luke. What if it’s not enough? What if they expect more?” She rambled, straightening her necklace for the thousandth time.

“What more could they expect? You just finished grad school. That’s a huge accomplishment,” he tried to reason with her.

“Anything. They could expect anything else.”

Luke realized what was happening. The need to make other people proud bled into a need for herself to feel accomplished. Even if her parents told her a million times that they would always be proud of her, she would always need more. She needed validation.

“Devon Murphy. Look me in the eyes.”

He grabbed her shoulders to stop her pacing. She stared up at him, eyes wide with nerves.

“I need you to realize that your worth is not measured by physical accomplishments. Your worth is not measured in grades and degrees. And even if it was, you’ve done better than the average person. You say your parents will want more, but I know for a fact that you have already made them more proud than you can imagine. You will always be enough.”

Devon wasn’t sure when she had started crying, but Luke used his thumbs to wipe the wetness off her cheeks. She definitely needed to hear that. Unable to find the right words, she leaned up to kiss him, a silent expression of her gratitude.

“Love you,” she whispered against his lips. He grinned and gave her one last peck before pulling away.

“I love you too.” He wiped away the bit of smudged mascara under her eyes. “Are you ready to go?”

Devon nodded. Hand in hand they headed out the door and to the restaurant.

Devon’s parents were ecstatic to see her. They hadn’t been able to visit since the holidays, and they were simply overjoyed to see their daughter and watch her get her master’s degree.

They were excited to see Luke as well. From the moment Devon first brought him home to meet them, they knew he was the one. They looked at each other like they were the entire world. Luke was kind and respectful. They had full faith in him to be a good man for their daughter.

Naturally, they were shocked when Devon told them that her and Luke broke up. It was the last thing they ever expected, but they knew deep down that things would work out in the end. They were right.

The meal went smoothly. The lively conversation put any anxieties Devon was feeling at ease, and as the night ended and her and Luke were off to bed, she was ready.

…

Devon took her time to get ready in the morning.

She got up early so she could take a long shower, cleaning well so she felt her best. She blow dried her hair and took her time doing her makeup. She did it lightly, wanting to look natural but not washed out in the inevitable countless photos she would be taking.

Slipping on the orchid purple color dress she bought, she glanced at herself in the mirror.

Luke’s words from the evening before rang in her mind. This was a huge accomplishment. She had done many amazing things in her life. She was enough.

Devon walked out the bathroom with a smile, ready to go. Luke was sitting at the small table in the corner, hunched over his notebook. He had already changed into his dress shirt and slacks, ready when she was.

His eyes widened when he saw her. She was simply glowing with confidence and pride, as she should. He smiled brightly as he stood up to meet her.

“You look stunning, my love,” he mumbled. He shook his head softly. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, bubs.” She glanced past him at his notebook. “What are you writing?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled.

He grabbed Devon’s black gown from where it was hung on the closet door and handed it to her along with her cap. With a deep breath, she was ready to go.

The ride to the school was short. Devon and Luke met up with her parents beforehand.

“We are so proud of you, sweetheart,” her dad announced, placing his hands on her shoulders.

“We always knew you would do amazing things,” her mom added in, tears welling up in her eyes.

Devon finally felt like she had done enough. Looking at her parents, she knew that they were truly beyond proud. She was enough.

“Don’t cry, Mom,” Devon chuckled warmly, pulling them in for a hug. “I wouldn’t be here without you two. Thank you.”

They talked for another minute before a different familiar voice called Devon’s name. She turned around to find Luke’s parents walking up, big smiles on their faces. Her mouth dropped at the surprise, heart bursting. Luke hadn’t told her that he invited them, but it made her so happy that they were there as well. Her relationship with them was very strong.

“Liz! Andy! Oh my gosh, thank you for coming!” She cheered, sharing hugs with them as well.

“Luke invited us. We’re so proud of you, Devon. We wouldn’t miss this,” Liz said, Andy piping in his agreement.

Devon couldn’t contain her smile, glancing at Luke in appreciation. This was her family, all together and there to support her in her biggest accomplishment. She felt proud, excited, and loved. She couldn’t ask for more.

The three couples chatted and took a few pictures until it was time for Devon to go. She exchanged hugs and kisses with each person before heading off to join the rest of her graduating class, Luke and the parents going to find their seats.

The anticipation as she waited to enter the gymnasium was killing her, lined up in a sea of caps and gowns. She shifted her weight back and forth, making small talk with the person standing in front of her that she had never met just to pass the time.

Eventually, the line began to move, walking right towards the next chapter of their lives.

The sound of Pomp and Circumstance filled Devon’s ears as she walked inside. The massive crowd made her heart rate pick up a little, both in excitement and nerves. This wasn’t just her big day. So many other students were feeling just the same as she was, so many other families beaming with pride. It made her feel good to be a part of something so grand.

Devon quickly glanced around for her family, but the crowd was too big to spot them. She took her seat in the folding chair, and the ceremony began.

Many people made speeches, most of which Devon wasn’t familiar with, but listened intently anyway. Before she knew it, it was time to call names. The first half of the alphabet flew by, and suddenly, it was Devon’s turn.

Her heart pounded in her ears as she stood at the bottom of the steps, her smile wide. After every all nighter, all the stress, she did it. She finished grad school. She had her master’s degree in social work.

“Devon Murphy.”

The crowd cheered as she walked across the stage. She could hear a few cheers that stood out among the rest, and she knew exactly who they belonged to. She couldn’t help but laugh as she was handed her diploma and shook hands. Nothing was funny, but she had never felt such a sense of pride and joy.

Devon barely heard the rest of the ceremony. She was buzzing, staring at the diploma resting in her lap. She did it.

Her attention was regained when the people next to her stood up, and she quickly followed, walking out of the gymnasium. Everyone made their way to where the graduates could meet their guests. It took a minute to find them in the crowd, but she spotted them.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the group as she ran towards them, pulling them all into a group hug. They all chorused their congratulations and pride. The love between them was strong, pride immeasurable.

Devon hugged her parents and Luke’s parents individually before she got to him. His smile crinkled his eyes, grabbing her face and pressing a firm kiss to her lips.

“Congratulations, honey,” he mumbled once he pulled away. “You did it. I am so, so proud of you.”

The group took many, many pictures before heading off to have a late lunch. Luke refused to tell her where they were going on the drive there, but soon enough Luke pulled into the parking lot of a fancy steakhouse.

“This place is like, the same price as my tuition, Lu,” she stated, giving him a look.

“Only the best for our graduate,” was his simple response, sending her a wink before getting out of the car. She rolled her eyes playfully but followed, grateful for the treat.

Luke and Devon’s parents meet them inside, talking to the hostess for a moment before being led towards the back of the restaurant. Devon followed, confused when they passed all of the tables in the dining room.

“Where are we sitting?” She whispered to Luke, but her question was answered when the hostess opened a door that led to an outdoor patio. String lights were strung through the awning, a perfectly set table for six sat in the middle. There were no other tables out there, telling Devon it was private.

“You guys!” She exclaimed, glancing around the group with a grateful smile. “This is too much.”

“You just got your master’s degree, Devon. This is the least we can do.”

The group all took their seats, a server quick to come and take drink orders.

The meal was phenomenal. The food was delicious, and it was also nice to be able to have everyone together. Devon and Luke’s parents had only met a couple of times, so they were glad that this was an opportunity for everyone to be together.

After dessert, Luke rested his hand on top of Devon’s on the table. She looked at him with a grin, but he looked nervous. She furrowed her eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. She snuck a glance around the table, noticing that they were biting back smiles. Now more confused than concerned, she turned back to Luke.

“Nothing’s wrong, honey,” he assured. “I, um...I have something for you.”

Luke grabbed Devon’s hand and pulled her to stand up with him. She glanced back at the group; they had pulled their phones out, holding them up.

“Lu…” she murmured under her breath, heart rate picking up and heat rushing to her cheeks. He sent her a comforting smile and took a deep breath.

“I’ve been trying to write this poem for you for weeks now. I just haven’t been able to get the words right. But this morning, I finally finished it. I’d like to read it to you, if that’s okay.”

He didn’t give her a chance to respond before he pulled a neatly folded piece of paper out of his pants pocket. Trembling fingers unfolded it, Devon watching as a million thoughts of what this might be ran through her mind. Luke held the paper in one hand and reached for Devon’s with the other.

The poem was beautiful. It spoke of a seed that budded into a vibrant flower, one full of life that lit up a room. The flower radiated love and kindness to all. It spoke of a love that was true and pure. Devon was barely holding back her tears by the time he finished reading, squeezing his hand.

“That was incredible, Luke,” she whispered shakily, smiling. He squeezed her hand in return and set the paper on the table.

“I just have one thing that I want to ask you now.”

He reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket, pulling out a small black box. Devon gasped, finally putting the pieces together. Time went in slow motion as he sank down to one knee, opening the box. She didn’t even look at the ring. She was staring at Luke, at least trying to, through her tears. Her hands covered her mouth in shock, heart racing.

“Devon Jo Murphy...will you marry me?”

All she could do was nod. Words completely escaped her. She hardly even registered the cheers from her family as Luke slipped the ring onto her finger. He quickly stood up to meet her, pulling her in for a bruising kiss. Their tears mingled together, arms wrapped tightly around each other.

“I love you so much, Devon. So fucking much.”

“You’re my world, Luke. I love you with my entire heart.”

They finally pulled back and looked at each other. Their eyes were red rimmed and their smiles beaming. They laughed, so full of love and joy. They were shortly joined by their parents, congratulating and hugging.

Everything about Luke and Devon was beautiful. The love they had for each other was as abundant as a field of flowers. Bright, joyous. A college seminar led to a wonderful, blooming relationship. And bloom, they most certainly did.

[etjwrites]

OC Backstory - Emotion Edition | Week 5: Free/Courage

Week 0: Introduction || Week 1: Fear || Week 2: Joy || Week 3: Disgust || Week 4: Sadness || Week 5: Anger ||

Is it over already? This was so much fun! I really enjoyed participating and reading everyone's pieces. Thanks to our wonderful hosts @cirianne and @kosmosian-quills  for putting this on! These prompts filled my mind with layers upon LAYERS of backstory, and really helped me flesh out Brom as a character. Afallon is so much better because of it! 

You probably stumbled upon something between the last prompts, that moved you. An idea that didn’t really match the prompt. A backstory character that deserved exploring. A question that stayed unanswered. For this week, I encourage you to look for these questions and explore them, write on them, and tell me about it!

In keeping with the theme of this event, I chose yet another emotion, the story behind which I'm excited to share with y'all! Brom is about 14 here. (I started writing this and it wouldn't stop. Help.) @yourocsbackstory​

“These paths look treacherous,” Brom said, glancing nervously back at the way they'd come. He and Prentice had been traversing the numerous twists and turns of Hyphantria's revered caverns for quite a while, looking for all the secret entrances. Each time they explored the maze-like tunnels, they went a little farther, a little deeper.

Prentice waved a hand dismissively. “I've a sure foot.” He tapped the top of his boots with his walking staff. “Furthermore, how often have we quested here? These caves are as familiar as mine own hands.”

“We left familiar behind two chambers ago,” Brom reminded his friend. “I'm actively adding to our map as we progress.”

“If on the map, 'tis familiar,” Prentice rejoined. “No matter how new the path may be.” He patted the crystal-studded wall to his left. “In fact, I almost feel at home.”

“The whispering,” Brom said, unease, twisting in his chest. “It's stopped.”

Prentice quirked his head, listening. “Why so it has,” he said, brows knitting together before sheer panic stamped itself onto his features. “Brom, run!” He turned and dashed back through the tunnel, Brom following, the both of them slipping and sliding and cutting themselves against the sharp-edged walls.

Beneath their feet, the earth started to rumble, and dread seized Brom's heart. Would they die down here in the bowels of Hyphantria, ground into dust by the ceiling collapsing upon them? He pushed faster, past Prentice, towards the sparkling glimmer that marked one of the other large chambers whose tunnels would lead them back to the surface.

A sharp cry made him whip around and jerk to a stop. Prentice had fallen, struggling to regain his feet amidst the wobbling, unstable ground. A stalactite shook loose and crashed to the ground just where his head would have been, had he not managed to roll away in time.

Brom staggered towards him, hand outstretched, when the earth shook mightily.

Prentice flung himself at Brom.

Too late.

With a great, groaning sigh, the floor gave way, and Prentice tumbled deep into the newly formed crevasse.

“Prentice!” Brom screamed, dropping to his hands and knees, swaying with the sudden shuddering of cavern. He called his name again, peering desperately into the dark. But while the softly glowing crystal shards that lined the Shalott caves could well enough light the paths and tunnels they'd been exploring, their gentle luminescence was unable to penetrate the deep, yawning blackness that fell away in front of him.

He called again and again, but there was no answer. Either his friend had fallen so far he could not hear him, or he been knocked insensible upon landing. Neither scenario was desirable, and Brom squeezed his abruptly burning eyes shut, refusing to consider the possibility that Prentice might be gone.

No. He had to be alive. Had to be alright.

Ominous rumbles filled the sharp-toothed cavern, more stalactites falling during a particularly vicious quake.

The wisest thing to do would be to run, to flee to the next chamber and worm his way through one of the escape tunnels until he could see the sky once more.

But Brom couldn't leave Prentice here to die. He would be the worst kind of coward if he did that. His first and only friend in all of Hyphantria, who risked all manner of danger to sneak him across the boarder on occasions such as these, and showed him many of the wonders his mother's country had to offer. Brom would save him. Or die trying.

“Give me strength,” he prayed. He thrust trembling hands into his pack, withdrawing his climbing rope.  He kept up the silent prayers. He felt so utterly alone, the jarring earthquake shaking and horribly distorting the natural light of the caves so he could barely walk. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,” he breathed, reciting the verses over and over even as his hands shook so much he could barely fasten the clips in place.

Brom tugged hard on the rope once he had tied it off, looping it around for added strength. He looped his climbing pick around his hands, aware he could lose a limb if it snagged in the wrong place, at the wrong time, yet horribly afraid to lose his means of retreat. With one of the picks he struck the vibrating wall, breaking off some crystals, which he tied about his arms.

“Prentice!” he called once more, and again received no answer. “Please be alive,” Brom prayed. “I need a miracle right now.”

Then he turned around, and—clinging to the ropes—lowered himself into the black abyss.

Brom descended for long minutes, the crystals lashed about him providing the faintest light. He steadily climbed deeper, the glow from the ceiling above diminishing until it felt like a distant memory.

This far down it was cold. The quake continued to rage, and Brom grew ever aware of a powerful thirst that made dizzy. But he dared not let go of the rope, not even to slake his needs.

His feet touched ground. He'd reached a small ledge.

Brom relaxed for half a moment, and then a terrible jolt flung him off its crumbling edge. He hit the other side of the crevasse hard, the breath knocking out of him and leaving him gasping as the rope tied around his middle yanked him to a stop. He hung there, dangling in the air, fingers barely able to brush either side.

Thankfully his picks had stayed attached, so he struck out with them, painfully aware that he'd run out of rope, and yet hadn't found Prentice. Brom gulped. He would have to climb up again and unloop the rope.

Ascending seemed to take twice as long, and Brom's arms were shaking when he reached the top. Everything was cast in an eerie blue and white glow, and Brom could feel that time was running out. If he didn't find Prentice soon, the falling stalactites might well block their path home.

Once he had the rope unfurled to its full length, Brom ventured once more into the place that had swallowed his friend. He passed the spot where he'd had to stop before and kept going, deeper, and deeper, the chill of the abyss freezing him to his bones.

And there!

Prentice's walking stick was wedged into a narrow part of the crevasse, two bloodied hands clinging to it.

Brom started crying.

One of Prentice's hands slipped, and he swore at Brom. “I didn't hold on this long for you to lose heart at the finish!” His voice was horse, likely from screaming. The shock had hit each of them in different ways it seemed.  

Ignoring his friend's harsh words, words that were driven by the terror in Prentice's eyes, Brom rappelled down closer. He gathered up the slack in the rope and looped it around Prentice's waist, securing it using a knot his father had once taught him.

“You can let go,” he said, testing the rope to make sure it still held fast.

“I confess, I cannot,” Prentice said, shaking his head minutely. His clothes were torn to shreds, like he'd scraped against the walls the whole way down until his stick had caught, and he had cuts and freshly-formed bruises adorning his entire body. One of his eyes was swollen shut, a jagged cut bisecting it that stretched from his cheek to his temple.

“One hand at a time,” Brom said, getting his hand under Prentice's and shifting it from the stick to his shoulder. He did the same with the other, and the next instant Prentice was clinging to him, limpet-tight.

A massive shudder rocked the cave at that moment, and the gap widened, Prentice's stick dislodging and spinning away into the darkness.

If I had been but a moment later, Brom thought, unable to repress the full-body shiver that twitched through him. He slid one of his picks into Prentice's hand, slipping the loop over his wrist twice.

“You must help me climb, I have not the the strength to lift us both.”

“Aye, 'tis time that I cease clutching you like a babe,” Prentice said, the words meant to be joking. The fine tremour in his voice spoiled the effect.

They struck out together, Prentice and Brom, inching their way up until they reached the cavern floor. Mercifully, the distressing bucking had stopped, and they lay on the rubble-strewn ground until they caught their breath.

“Thank Heaven,” Brom uttered aloud, and Prentice nodded solemnly along.

“You saved my life, Brom,” he said.

They rose to their feet and began the arduous, limping walk back to the escape tunnels.

“I owe you a great debt. I should never have placed you in this position. I . . . I almost killed you. I would not have begrudged you had you fled and left me behind.”

“I wanted to,” Brom admitted, shame flushing his skin. “At first. I was so afraid.”

“But you did not.” Prentice paused for a moment and clapped Brom on the shoulder before they resumed their trek. “I really thought I would die. I screamed and screamed, but you didn't answer. Or I couldn't hear a response amidst the earth's pain. The longer I held on, the more I began to wonder if I were mad for simply not accepting my fate. I had myself near about convinced that I should just let go.”

“Then I saw you, descending into the pit like the Archangel Michael himself. You could have died rescuing me. You looked as terrified as I felt. But still you threw yourself into the unknown. For me. In the greater world, we are yet seen as boys, but Brom—I tell you truly—you are the bravest man I've ever known.”

They turned a corner, and the bright sun greeted them.

Additional thanks to everybody who has read and commented on my work for this event. Y'all rock!

Tag Crew: @adie-dee @writtendevastation @catharticallysarcastic @francestroublr @crystallized-ink

[binniedeactivated]

saint.|| soobin.🌪 (6)

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 3636

“we know that failing a test is bad news but refusing to take one is extremely unacceptable”. sister Agatha commented with her lips going into a thin line. you sat in the empty classroom with your eyes bulging out of their sockets.

“sister you have to understand that i took that test”. you try to explain.

“I’m sorry, our records show that you didn’t. And because of this I’m going to have to give you an F for your test grade”. 

“an F? that’s going to bring my grade down to a C!”. you whine, you couldn’t help it, you always felt strongly about your grades even without your parents’ pressure. she raised her lips in that fine line again and shook her head with disappointment. 

“I’m sorry but that’s school policy. Next time you have to make sure you’re doing your work and teacher is receiving it”. you huffed your breath in defeat, pulling your bag over your shoulder. 

“alright”.

“you may go to your next period class. i’ll be sure to email your instructor about the reason for your tardiness”. 

“thank you”. you mumble pushing the door open. I mean that was the least she could do after practically failing you. You knew you turned your quiz in you just knew it. but where did it go? 

“let’s go guys! change into your clothes and immediately do three laps!”. 

your gym instructor screeches while clapping his hands. you rush to the girl’s locker room to change into your gym clothes. you normally hated gym because it was a time where everyone socialized and gossiped with their friends as they ran laps. You never had anyone to do that with. People would stay away from you in fact, they thought you were way too much of a church girl to be interested in anything.

but to some extent you did. yes you were a church girl but you were also a teenager. gossip was intriguing just as it is for the next person. and you always didn’t mind opening yourself up to new things I mean, take you and soobin for example. 

“yeah and he even bought us a hotel for the night”. you heard outside of your stall. you looked through it’s cracks to see Mia, Olivia, and the rest of the schools gossip girls. Olivia squealed. “no way!”. mia fake smiled. “I told you”. mia responded with the sassiest grin. One of the other girls which you knew to be Ava replied, “and what did you guys do?”. she smirks. Mia laughs as if there was too much to even explain. “We fucked like there was no tomorrow”. she said in a low whisper that had the rest of them go into an uproar. 

you thought quickly to yourself, was she talking about soobin?

“I knew soobin was rich but i didn’t know he’d be booking hotels and shit”. olivia stated. “girl when i say filthy rich? the choi’s are loaded you must know that”. Mia responded. you felt your blood boiling. so they were talking about soobin.

“Girls! Out of the locker rooms and onto the track lets go”. the gym instructor yelled from the door. They quickly pack up and make their exit as do you when the coast is clear. you tie your hair up quickly and get to running. you were never the best athlete and you knew that but you always tried your hardest in gym class. especially since you’d already have to be spending your time trying to make up for the C you were about to receive. 

“ugh look at that bitch”. mia scoffed glaring over at you while she was halfway around the track already. athlete of the year award goes to the track star mia howard. she already didn’t like you because of soobin but reminiscing on last night, she couldn’t help but to hate you even more. you probably put soobin up to setting her up. you were the mastermind because you wanted him just that much. and no one could make up Mia’s mind, saints weren’t always saints. especially you.

running past you she couldn’t pass up her opportunity to put her leg out while you weren’t paying attention, leaving you a stumbling mess as you tripped and landed straight on your face. she was the first one to laugh loudly with her friends to quickly follow. soon though, everyone in the gym was running past you and either giving you a sorrowful look or straight up laugh in your face. you didn’t know which to feel first, the pain that sprouted in your knees and face or the embarrassment of your entire gym class.

“hey guys enough! the next person to laugh at this poor girl is getting detention and i mean it!”. he rushes over to you while the class finishes their laps around the track. “Are you alright?”. you try your best to get up, your knee was practically throbbing and your face wasn’t calming down either. you shake your head no. 

“I’m going to write you a pass to the nurse alright?”. he assures, grabbing a pen and quickly filling out the slip before handing it to you. you mutter a soft thank you as he helps you to your feet. luckily the nurse’s office was only down the hall so you wouldn’t be limping too far. 

“grab him soobin hurry up!”.

Michael urged while they were in the bathroom. soobin grabbed ahold of the cowardly boys’ collar and threw him to the floor. 

“you were the same guy talking shit about me on your ‘anonymous’ twitter account right?”.

the boy began squirming on the floor trying to escape soobin’s grip but fails horribly. 

“no it wasn’t me i swear man!”. 

michael reaches down and punches him in his jaw. 

“don’t fucking lie i know a lot of people and they told me about you”. 

he held his jaw in pain, blood leaking onto the disgusting floor that was inches from his face.

“don’t worry though. since they told me about you, I’d like to personally tell you about myself”. michael snarls while unzipping the front of his pants. Soobin holds his ankles so that he wasn’t able to go anywhere while michael pisses on his face. Soobin laughs at the boy squirming because of the stinging sensation. He thought it was funny how frantic he was about it. when michael was finished he kicks the boy in his stomach. 

“i dare you to say some shit about me again”. he snarls again. soobin grins following him out of the bathroom door. “That kid is going to smell like piss all damn day”. soobin jokes and michael laughs. “That’s his fucking fault. no one told him to be such a pussy and talk shit on social media rather than my face”. 

“so? how was she last night?”.  soobin asked smirking. “ridiculous. she did everything we told her to do. it was fucking amazing. best night of my life”. soobin shakes his head and laughs. 

“hey soobin I dm’ed you on instagram, did you see it?”. 

some random brunette girl walking passed them both had asked. and to be honest soobin never saw her before in his life. And he was barely on his socials unless drama was occurring. 

“what makes you think I’d respond to anyone who looks like you?”. soobin counter, leaving michael to playfully push him in full fledge laughter. The girl frowns and continues her journey down the hall. 

“hey man that was fucked up”. 

“oh really? didn’t you just pee on someone?”. 

michael was set to reply until he saw you turning into the nurses office down the hall. 

“hey isn’t that the religious bitch you be talking to?”. 

soobin met his gaze and saw you through the nurses’ office windows. oh shit. he thought. 

“i’ll be right back”. michael was smirking hard but soobin was too focused to care. 

“yeah right. I’ll catch you next period man”. and with that they both parted ways. the nurse advised you to sit down to keep you from putting so much pressure on your knee while she went to get you some knee wraps. 

soobin knocks on her open door catching your attention easily. and yes, he had that stupid grin on his face. he slid into the chair beside you. 

“what are you doing in here?”. he asks, was it scary that he looked genuinely concerned? 

“I tripped and fell in gym class today. My knee hurts bad. And my face aches”. 

Soobin reaches over and touches your knee re-sprouting your pain. you slap his hand. 

“ouch soobin! why would you touch it?”. you wince. The nurse sashays her way back into the room and peers over her glasses at soobin. 

“Excuse me Choi soobin? Do you have a reason for being here?”.

“Because I want to be here”. soobin snaps with attitude in his tone. 

you nudge him. 

“you don’t have to be rude about it soobin”. you mumble. he rolls his eyes. 

“I meant-- i’m just making sure she’s okay. Im not going to be in the way. I’ll bring her back to class when she’s finished”. 

“that was more like it”. she conceded before pulling a stool over to assist you. He wanted to tell her to go fuck herself, but he wouldn’t take it that far since you were around.

you wince as she lifts your skirt a bit more to wrap the bandage around your knee. 

“what are you checking on me for anyways?”.

“because why not?”.

“because you tried to act like you didn’t like mia. I heard you guys had a good time last night”. soobin glanced at her with a confused expression. 

“I took her out to eat. we didn’t do anything if that’s what you think”.

“that sure isn’t what she was telling her friends in the locker room today”. 

soobin thought to himself, mia was a filthy liar. 

“she’s lying. we didn’t do anything”. 

you hum as the nurse finishes your bandage. you had to say when it was wrapped it felt way better, you thanked her gratefully. “there you go honey, and here”. she reaches back and grabs a small baggie with two tablet pills on the inside. “I recommend you take these for your face okay?”. “yes thank you”.  you stand to your feet. Your knee wasn’t totally healed but you could definitely walk better than you did before. Soobin just watches you limp your way to the hallway, he grins. “Are you sure you can walk the whole way?”. 

“yes soobin I got it”. he gives you a head nod and walks beside you before he got tired of your limping. He stooped to your level and turned around. He pats his back. “come on, hop up”. 

“soobin I got it”. he shakes his head. “no you don’t”. “yes I do”. 

he turns around at you and sighs. “stop being a baby come on”. “I’m not being a baby”. “just let me carry you”. “why would I let you carry me when I have legs?’. 

soobin playfully rolls his eyes before he wraps your arms around his neck himself and stands up. He curls your legs around his body. it made you feel like a child again, you haven’t had a piggy back ride since you were much younger. 

“soobin i don’t know why you’re doing this”. you complain. 

“Shh. doesn’t it feel much better?”. he asks turning his head to look back at you with that dumb grin again. You roll your eyes and laugh. he was such a doofus. 

“you’re annoying”. you reply. He starts heading towards your calculus classroom.

“I’m annoying? you’re getting better with these compliments”. you playfully smack his head and he laughs of course like he always did.

“I mean at first I was a prissy little jerk but I’ll take annoying any day”. you hit his head again and laughs. You were finally there and he lands you carefully, making sure not to put any pressure on your knee. you swing your bag over your shoulder with an eyeroll, he folds his arms. 

“thank you soobin”. you roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed. 

“you’re welcome. work hard”. he calls out after you. And you did of course, still trying to account for the C that you were going to have. You weren’t the best math student but you were determined and that’s what really mattered. Having courage in the face of hardship always made you feel good about yourself. 

but you know what else made you feel good for some odd reason?

soobin waiting by the door for you at dismissal. It was weird, you just walked out of the room and he was just standing there like a valet or something.

“can I help you?”. you inquired raising an eyebrow. he gives you a side smile before squatting down again, patting his back. 

“soobin I can walk I swear”. he sighs again before taking things upon himself and putting you on his back anyways. secretly you were kind of grateful though. the hallways were always hectic during this time and it was kind of interesting seeing things from this height.

he cut through the crowd easily and went into the school parking lot heading towards his car. “where are you going?”. you ask only to get no response. He opens his passenger seat door and positions you there before closing the door behind you and sliding into the driver’s seat. 

“tell your mom you’re signing up for a club or something”. he suggests and sticks his key in the ignition. 

“why?”.

“because you’re not going home right now”.

“why not?”. you coax again. And soobin is just silently driving like you weren’t speaking to him. He was being a jerk so you slapped him on his wrists.

“why not soobin?”. 

“hey hey calm down. i’m going to take you somewhere”. 

he gives you a few glances noticing your mood wasn’t exactly up to par. 

“what’s the matter? why are you upset?”.

you fold your arms watching the scenery that sped past your car window. Soobin laughs. 

“so now you’re going to ignore me?”. 

you finally breathe, “I’m not ignoring you soobin”.

“then what’s the matter? you can tell me”. you take a glimpse at him and give up trying to hold it in. 

“I’m just... stressed because sister agatha is saying that I didn’t turn in my history exam when yesterday I literally worked so hard on it and turned it in I just--and then she didn’t even feel sorry that she was about to give me an F. She was just going to give it not even caring that my grade will drop. My parents will kill me if I have a grade lower than a B. And then I fell in gym class today and my knee hurts and i got embarrassed by the whole class. literally everyone laughed at me. the only person who tried to help me up was our instructor. It was so humiliating soobin”. 

“damn. that’s a pretty stressful day”.

“well you wouldn’t know. it’s not like you care about your grades and everyone in the school either loves you or is scared of you so they’d never laugh at you for anything embarrassing so I don’t know why I’m expecting you to understand”. 

“none of that means that I’m not sorry that those things happened to you today”. 

“i’m not some charity case soobin you don’t have to feel sorry for me”. 

soobin listened and nodded. you seemed pretty upset about your day so he didn’t want to bother you any further. he parked his car next to a place that was shaped sort of like a barn. you had no idea where you were, you just had soobin opening the passenger seat door for you convincing you to take another piggy back ride. 

“soobin, I can walk”. you attempted to step a foot out the car but soobin grabs it instead and squats down, bringing your arms around his neck again and your legs around his body. venting to soobin made you realize what a messed up day you had so you were too upset to fight back. he carries you to the front of the building and you noticed it happened to be a parlor built into the shape of a barn.

“what kind of ice cream do you want?”. soobin questions trying to get a good glance at the menu from his position in line. 

“soobin you don’t have to do this. it’s fine”. 

“i’ll just order you something to try”. he assures before it’s his turn in line. He orders strawberry ice cream for himself and rocky road ice cream for you. The guy hands him two waffle cones with spoons stuck in both. soobin decides to make good use of the colorful benches outside. Plus it was too beautiful and sunny of a day for the both of you to sit in his car. He parks you on the bench before he sits down himself. He slides you on his lap, making sure your legs were propped up properly with his knee. With his ice cream in one hand and yours in the other he takes a spoonful of your ice cream. 

“here comes the plane! wooooshh!”. soobin baby talks and flies it near your mouth. you sat with folded arms trying your hardest not to smile. 

“soobin I’m not that injured”. soobin stares at you before he goes into the biggest smile as if you told him the greatest news ever. he pushes air through his teeth trying to mock the sound of a plane engine. he jiggles the spoon lightly to make it seem as though the plane was patiently waiting. 

“say ah”.he coos like you were six months old. you roll your eyes opening your mouth so he could he stop being so cute. The ice cream was creamy and the chocolate was rich. The nuts and marsh mellows inside of it made it even tastier. you hum in satisfaction.

“is it good?”. he asks while taking a napkin and wiping the corners of your mouth. “I’ve never had rocky road before”. he comments again before licking his own ice cream. You watched his hair tousle over in the breeze. His doughy cheeks and eyes always looked cuter up close. 

“so you didn’t take me home because you wanted to eat ice cream?”. you say, while soobin prepares to feed you again. you let him because in all honesty, it was the cutest watching him do it.

“yeah”. 

“but why?”. 

“choo choo!!”. soobin whistles and drives the spoon in your mouth again. You laughed because it actually looked like he was having fun making the noises. 

“why? because your knee hurts and you’re having a bad day today”. you make a confused expression to which soobin replied,

“is it bad?’

“I’m wondering why you’re not being a prissy little jerk”. soobin licks the ice cream off his top lip. 

“hey today you called me annoying. you’ve upgraded me so i’ll no longer be responding to prissy little jerk anymore”. the both of you laugh in unison. he starts to rub your knee. which reminded you, 

“hey how’s your back?”. 

soobin shrugs and preps your spoon again. 

“It’s still sore I guess but it’s alright. I’m not used to getting beat but I’m used to the wounds”. 

“you’re not used to it?”. 

“well no because that shit hurts. it always does. It’s like 15 whips going across your back at once”. 

“how come you’ve never told anyone?”. 

“my parents are one of the richest people in this stupid ass town. they fund everything here. try telling everyone that the two people the town loves the most is abusing their son. they will all just call me spoiled and then my parents would beat me to death probably”. you wince at the image. 

“ouch”. 

“yeah, ouch”. he makes a small beeping noise while landing the spoon in your mouth again. 

“but what about your parents? they seem way nicer than mine”.

“really? how so?”. 

“well for starters they’re home waiting for you right now”.

“well i guess in that aspect but they’re just as religious and strict as yours. only thing is we don’t have one billion dollars to our name or something”. 

“i’d rather take that route”. 

“huh?”.

“yeah. having people around that constantly shows you love; I think I’d give up most of the things I own for that”.

“is that why you’re such a menace? because you want love?”. 

soobin stays silent and eats the rest of the ice cream off his spoon. he could’ve been silent all he wanted, but you knew the answer to that question. you rested your hand at the top of his head and lifted it so that his eyes were now on yours. Like you always predicted the stare was far more intense this time around. his brown eyes always comfortably made themselves at home in yours. And it was never an unwanted visit, you gladly accepted them each time, which made the stay better. 

you couldn’t feel his heart rate but you knew it was synchronizing with yours. you were more in tune with him this way than any other way. and slowly but surely you landed one right on his strawberry ice cream flavored lips. it made them much sweeter and tastier which resulted in swiping over his lips with your tongue as you kissed him. He was quite surprised to see your growth. you pulled away though, not wanting it to lead any further with your knee being hazardous. 

“thank you for kissing me”. soobin addresses. 

and you had no idea what it meant. of course he was saying thank you. but why?

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Weak ~ S.R. (part 3)(final)

A/n: Kind fo struggled to find an ending to this that I liked, so I hope you guys liked it. Side note: I was inspired by “Easy” by Camila Cabello for this part :)

Word Count: 8600+

MASTERLIST

We fall for that. Wake up, we fall again. We fall for that. Can't wait to fall again- One sip, bad for me; One hit, bad for me; One kiss, bad for me, but I give in so easily. And no thank you is how it should've gone, I should stay strong- But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? 

It took almost an entire month before Y/n really came to terms with having actual feelings for Spencer. With a lot of help from Michael and some stern words from Hotch when she'd begun to give Spencer the cold shoulder, she'd finally sat down and really thought about it.

I mean, who wouldn't fall head over heels for Spencer Reid, am I right? He was a total dork and had the prettiest smile she'd ever seen. He also had a huge heart and when he looked at her from across the room with the look of some kicked puppy, she still couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was with even that look on his face. Not to mention how kind and considerate he was. He even tried to save people everyone else rightfully hated, because every life that kept living was a victory to him. He shut himself down and kept himself in check as not to annoy others. Y/n was the only one who willingly listened to him, and he'd been slipping recently because he didn't have her to talk to anymore. He was just a really great person... and also really, really attractive like fucking hell dial it back just a TAD for the sake of a single woman with a weak heart.

When she could finally think about it without freaking out because of her past, she approached him again. "Hey." Her voice was soft, heavy with guilt.

He was surprised when he looked up and saw her. He stood, then stepped back to try and play it off like he hadn't been incredibly eager. "H-hi." His eyebrows came together as if in the world's smallest cringe and Y/n couldn't help but smile at the adorable awkwardness.

"I, uh." Her smile wavered as she remembered why she was here. "I'm really sorry, Reid." He frowned deeply at her use of his last name so she gave in a little. "Spencer." His shoulders lifted a little. "I've kind of had a lot of thoughts up in this little noggin of mine and unfortunately my brain works slower than average so it took me some time to figure it out." She shook her head. "I'm sorry it's made it so weird between us. I hope we can still be friends?" That's not what she really wanted, but she knew that what she REALLY wanted would be forever out of her reach. Spencer would never return her feelings. She didn't deserve it. Maybe her feelings now were healthy, but back then... no. What she had said and done and thought all those years ago was inexcusable. She couldn't have a relationship like wanted to with him with a such a secret between them, and she would NEVER tell anyone about it. It was in the past, it didn't matter. Just like her real feelings for the boy wonder in front of her now.

"Of course." He seemed relieved by her words. "Did I... do something to upset you?"

She smiled. Of course he'd think it was his fault. "Never," she reassured. "I... upset myself." That was as close to the truth as she could get.

It only confused him more though. "Are you okay?"

"Please," she begged softly. "I- it won't happen again. Can we please just forget about it?" Her eyes were wide and earnest. "I promise none of us were in any danger. You just-" She sighed. She hated the thought that he might worry enough to go digging, because with his resources he might find out. "You remind me of someone in my past," she worded carefully. "Someone I hurt. And- he didn't know I hurt him, but I did. And sometimes when I look at you, I remember that version of myself and it's... difficult. But I've come to terms with it for real now, and accepted that I'm a different person now. It was years ago and I'm better, you know? So it's really happy news and nothing you need to worry about. I promise."

He seemed to calm down for real at my reassurance. "Okay," he promised. "But if you need anything-"

"I'll come to you first," Y/n declared. "Well." She got a coy smile on her face. "Second. I have an old friend who was there during the whole thing. Who helped me through it. So he might be a tad better at helping, but with his experience and your incredible mind, I'm absolutely sure that if anything comes up it won't even be an issue."

He looked a little sad. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you." He hesitated, so Y/n didn't say something in case he wanted to share something personal as she had. Now that she was sure that her old habits were long dead, she no longer felt worried about getting close to him. It was incredibly refreshing. As she'd thought, he did speak again, pulling out her thoughts so she could focus on him. "I feel like I should be able to do more for my friends. I'm trained to do this as a career, but when it comes to people I care about rather than some murderous psycho, I end up being pretty useless."

She's taken aback by his bluntness. "Are you serious?" He shrugged and she reached up to grab either side of his ace with both of her hands. He seemed surprised by the contact, but didn't pull away. He seemed even more shocked by the fact SHE hadn't pulled away from HIM. "Pen, you're like literally the smartest person I've ever met. Everyone considers you a genius, and you've earned that title time and time again- so much that it drives people crazy sometimes." They both chuckled. "Just because you're smart doesn't mean you're a mind reader though. Be nicer to yourself. Please. You deserve it."

He relaxed at her words and only then did he realize her thumb was grazing his jaw tenderly. She slowly removed her hands. He seemed like he wanted to stop her but he didn't, and she felt her stomach light on fire. "Thank you." The words were soft and warmed Y/n to her core.

Y/n shrugged. "Besides, 'The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.' You're gonna miss things you don't want to be there. I've been the type of person people ignore when I'm upset since I'm usually pretty upbeat and get over things quickly anyway."

Spencer seemed to glitch. "What did you say?"

A blush swallowed Y/n's face as she winced back in shame. "I don't mean to blame you, I just mean that it's okay, because I'm used to handling it on my own and-"

"No," he dismissed. "The thing about observing obvious things."

It was then that she became cautious. "It's a quote from a book I read a few years ago. One of the few things I made myself remember and internalize. It made me feel better about how I... got into some tricky situations, before I learned and taught myself better and stuff."

His expression brightened. "You've read The Narrative of John Smith?"

She tried not to think about how she'd read it because she'd watched him carry around the book for months. How it had rested on the dashboard of his car and it had made her curious since he blew through books so quickly and never held onto one for long. She tried not to think about how she had gotten it to feel closer to him, reading it slowly and writing down things that she thought were neat. How Michael used those exact words she'd cherished to help counsel her in a way that got through to her in the beginning when she was drowning in guilt. "Yeah," was all she said, even as so many more thoughts raced through her mind.

"That's so wild." He seemed to catch his breath. "I've been meaning to get a copy of my own. I keep borrowing it from the library and returning it too late. It's one of my favorite books."

"No way." She laughed, trying to make it sound casual. "I still have my copy, if you want it."

The idea of reading it again seemed to excite him, making Y/n relax. "I'd love to borrow it. I have to say, I can be a little... hard on books. I have a lot of love to give them."

The joke made her relax completely, her worries rolling off her shoulder. She was a new person, living a new life that was so much better than she'd ever dreamed. "You can actually have it," she told him. "Honestly, it's kind of a reminder of some things that I don't want to remember, and I haven't read it in a long time and probably won't ever again."

"Really?"

"Really," she promised enthusiastically.

He thought for a second then that glimmer in his eyes shone, just like it always did when he got an idea. "What if I read it to you? We could make new memories. Unless you don't like the book."

Y/n laughed. "It was a little hard for me to swallow, but with someone like you to help me if I ask some questions here and there..."

"Oh absolutely," he agreed.

"Then sure." He cheered and she laughed and then Hotch called their names because they had a new case. Both of them went into the meeting beaming.

-

"Did you bring it today?" It had been six whole cases where every day Spencer would ask her the same thing, and every time she had to disappoint him because she came to work very early in the morning and returned very late at night and she always forgot it.

Not today though.

Her parted, upturned lips gave her away and Spencer jerked in excitement. "First," she began, holding up a finger as she reached into her bag. "To make up for taking ages to finally get it to you." She extended a small bag of Sour Skittles. He seemed to do that physical stutter like he always did when he was so surprised by something it was like a human glitch, eyes on the Skittles like they were going to jump out and bite his hand. "Since it took me over two months to get it to you," she said quietly. Why did he look like she was holding out a dead dog rather than a bag of candy? Then she thought about how the very first gift she'd ever given him was this exact treat. She panicked for a second. Did he know that it was a stalker after all that had given him the gift? Did he expect it to be her? Had he stopped liking this candy because of her selfish recklessness all those years ago? Oh god. "I didn't know what you liked, but they're my favorite," she rushed awkwardly, pulling her hand away. "I' sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

He caught her wrist and she looked into his eyes, ready to see accusation and anger when she did. Instead, she saw guilt. Guilt? What did he have to be sorry for? "No, I love it. Very thoughtful. I'm so sorry, I just-" He swallowed. "I haven't liked them for a while. But," and he snatched them from her hand, pointing back to her bag. She slowly took out the book and he grabbed that too. "Like I said. Here's to new beginnings. New memories with things that were once ruined but didn't deserve it." Right there he opened the bag and popped a few in his mouth. His eyes watched her as he chewed and his body seemed to relax. He then rolled up the bag so none would spill. "Maybe after work today we can meet at my place and I can read to you and we can share them together?"

His place. "I... What about my place?" He made an odd expression and she returned a sheepish one. "I'm weird about other people's places." This was absolutely true. After she'd developed her obsession with Spencer, she got nervous being too intimate with other people, in case it shifted to them instead. "Until I'm super comfortable with them. It's kind of weird, I'm sorry."

"No, I get it." And he seemed to, though it was obvious he understood the feeling rather than the context. "Your place."

Y/n went to confirm, but then Hotch came out, the look on his face that meant they had a case. "As much as I'd hate to interrupt your date," he told Reid and Y/n - both who went beet red, making the rest of the team smirk - before holding up the case file. "We have a case. You guys can do it on the plane though, or in the hotel once we get there." At our surprise, he explained further. "We're headed to Alaska, and the storms are going to be very bad this time of year. There won't be much time to call each other, so Garcia will be coming with us as well. Because of the constantly bad weather, the electronics aren't very advanced so we'll need Y/n as well to help Garcia sift through footage and get information as much as possible. Getting information on this case might need more people talking than we have time for, so Y/n will be needed in quite a few places."

Suddenly Y/n was very excited.

She was going out into the field.

Boy, oh boy I love it when I fall for that. I'm weak, and what's wrong with that? Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that. I'm weak- Go! But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?

Y/n was relieved that after all the hard to swallow cases, the team was finally getting reprieve from a case that was unwinding pretty quickly. Not quickly enough. Never quickly enough, as two more women turned up dead before they had a suspect who seemed to have a third lined up for her grave the next day if they didn’t do something about it.

So, they did something about it. They were working with a team, who had split up to do different things. The woman cleaned the mess left from the torture, and the man finished off the victim in her grave before leaving her body there to be found later by police. Morgan and Prentiss were going after the man, and Spencer and Y/n were supposed to infiltrate the house and hack the computer for information on where the woman was keeping the victims, since it obviously wasn’t at home. Once they did, they’d send word to Hotch and Rossi and they’d take care of the rest.

It all went wrong pretty quickly.

First of all, Spencer hadn’t the book they’d been reading together on the dashboard. It shouldn’t have been a problem, since they’d reading it together every night to unwind before bed. To distract themselves so they could actually get some sleep. Or, Spencer had been reading it to Y/n. The memory was a good one, and had been getting increasingly better. Now that Y/n had come to terms with her feelings, she felt herself easily falling into a closeness with Spencer that left them growing very close. Physically even. They were very touchy and hovered around each other. Even with Spencer’s hesitance to touch people because of his germaphobia, or Y/n’s hesitance to share bits of herself that might reveal her past. The little goodness between them amidst all the bad things was a breath of fresh air for everyone. Not even Hotch had the heart to break them apart - especially when they both deserved to be happy, and why not together?

Even now they were smiling at each other, taking comfort in each other’s presence. Y/n was nervous to be on the field, wearing a bullet proof vest just in case even though no one should have been there. With the skills she’d picked up from Garcia even in the short time she’d had and Spencer’s never failing intelligence, it was going to be an easy in and out mission. No worry.

The book shattered everything.

Or, at least, what was inside of it.

It dropped on the ground of the car and Spencer reached inside to grab it really fast and put it back on the dash. As he did so, something fell out of the later pages much further into the book. Further than where they’d gotten with Y/n’s constant questions and wanting to understand. Something that Spencer had though adorable then, but was now tainted by the thing he held in his hand.

When he didn’t move, Y/n moved over to him. “Pen? What’s wrong?” She’d begun to use the name naturally instead of his title or even first name like everyone else. Usually it made him smile, but now it made him flinch. She reached out for him and he jerked away. “Spencer?” It wasn’t how she’d referred to him in a while. It seemed to upset him even more.

The thin thing spun around in Spencer’s thin fingers so that Y/n could see the other side. When she did, her heart stopped dead in her chest. “What’s this?” Spencer demanded.

In that moment, Y/n was that same scared girl she’d been when Spencer had walked into her precinct with his team for the very first time and all she could think about was how much she didn’t want her past to come back and eat her alive and ruin her life. Because now, staring at her, was Spencer. Or, a picture of him. An extremely old picture of him. A picture that was now six years old, of a Spencer with slicked back hair and vests and glasses, looking at JJ with a huge smile on his face. It was one of the intimate photos Y/n had taken when-

“I burned all of those.” She took a step back, but the movement might as well have been a slap across Spencer’s face for how he flinched.

“You had more?” This time he looked less shocked and more angry.

Y/n tried to find some words. “Had,” she stressed, trying to come up with something. “I- not anymore, not for a long time.”

She could see the gears in his brain turning, but it didn’t seem to be much work to put the puzzle that he was trying to solve together. She thought of all the things that gave her away. The book that was one of his favorites that she just happened to have. The candy she had given him. The shame she’d been carrying with her so long, that had driven them apart even when they shared the same working space. The picture in his hand now that was from a time Y/n was not in his life. A time she should have no record of. And yet she did, and he was holding it out to her as proof.

“It was you?” His words sounded sharp and accusing. She had never heard Spencer y’all like that before.

She tried to explain. Explain how much she’d gotten better and how far she’d come since then. But the words got stuck in her throat. She deserved this. She couldn’t get that thought out of her head. She deserved this. “Spencer-“

“My name is Dr. Reid and I’m a federal agent so you better answer my fucking question.”

Her vision blurred with tears. “Yes,” she whispered. The word held so much pain and regret that Reid stepped away, looking to where there was no trace of her. It hit her then. Slipping the picture in the book as a bookmark all those years ago. It was the only time she’d ever taken a picture out of the box. She’d used it as inspiration to get through the book. Every time she set a goal, she’d save it with the picture and her prize was seeing his smile again. After she’d finished the book, she’d forgotten she’d left the picture in it.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER?!

“You let me become your friend.”

A bubbling sob broke from the back of her throat. “I tried not to,” she begged him to understand. “I tried everything, but it was one thing after another and suddenly I have all these REAL feelings for you and-“ She hissed when his eyes shot back to her, hitting her like he’d hit her with his car. “Reid that was YEARS ago. I’m a totally different person now-“

“This isn’t years ago for me,” Reid snapped, his eyes wide as his mind began to reel.

Y/n looked away. She closed her eyes, feeling her heart drop into her toes. “We have to find out where the next victim is or she’s going to die. Can we talk about this later?”

“I can’t LOOK at you right now let alone with you.” He seemed panicked and Y/n flinched, recoiling. “Are you stalking everyone then?”

“I’m not stalking anyone,” Y/n defended weakly. “Stalked. Past tense.”

“Was it only me?” Spencer demanded.

The question seemed odd. “Yes?” That seemed to trouble him more. She couldn’t take it anymore though. She grabbed her pants to ground herself, turning away from him. “Let’s split up then. I’m not letting work drama cost this girl her life.” She steeled herself, wiped her tears, and then began moving inside from the back door, leaving the front door for Reid. “Just stay here.” He didn’t say anything, just stayed still and letting her go.

She slipped inside, making her way to the computer. She called Garcia as she’d been told to. “Hey G.” She frowned at the name. Did she have to leave the BAU now? If he couldn’t look at her or function, how could she stay? This might be her dream job but this was and had been his life for ages. She couldn’t take that away. No, she’d leave.

But that was later.

This was now.

She had this case to finish before anything else happened.

Garcia asked Y/n about the sniffling but Y/n brushed it off- no reason to get into why she’d been crying. And the case was more important now. Between hiding her own pain and trying to focus on hacking and finding this woman who was waiting to be saved, Y/n didn’t see the woman creep into the woman. The woman, who was one half of the unsub team, who was hefting a metal skillet in one hand and a knife in the other.

“Where’s Spencer?” Garcia asked suddenly. “He should be helping you with this.”

“Outside,” Y/n asked casually.

“What?” Garcia snapped.

Y/n didn’t get the chance to throw a response back though. A knife plunged into her gut and her mind went blank as pain erupted through her like she’d never experienced before. By some luck she knocked the skillet out of the woman’s hand, the chair falling back and the knife slipping out of her gut as she fell.

The unsub sat on Y/n’s chest, hefting the knife over her head, a grin on her face. The woman grabbed Y/n’s phone, leaving close to it. “Any last words?” She purred.

Garcia gasped. “DON’T-!”

The woman closed the phone. “Begging,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “What a fucking waste of time.” Then she stabbed Y/n again, cutting off a scream that escaped her by some serious luck.

The thought that she was going to die here passed through Y/n’s mind as the knife left her again and she groaned, blinking as her vision began to swim. The pain was all consuming and suddenly she was fading out as the knife buried itself higher in her stomach for a third time. Only one thing left her lips. “I deserve this.”

The woman grinned even wider. “Do yourself a favor and pass out, Dearie. After you I’ll be done. That completes the cycle.”

Y/n didn’t know what the woman meant, but she gave in to the pain anyway. The last thing was her blood on the knife and the woman’s hand as she hefted it over her head to bring it down on Y/n a fourth time. The last thought she had was that she was going to die worse than alone. She was going to die at the hands of a psycho with a knife, in pain and on the floor. Her story would be told by Spencer, who didn’t understand her struggle or how far she had come. It was all over and she’d be remembered as the creepy bitch who’d stalked Spencer Reid years ago and then been unlucky enough to end up actually falling in love with him.

Splendid.

-

It was quiet in the room outside of where Y/b was still unconscious in the hospital bed. When Garcia had called Reid in a panic he had run inside, because stalker or not Y/n was part of his team and he wasn’t going to let her die just because he felt a little disturbed.

The truth was that he was actually torn in a lot of directions at the moment. Knowing that there had been two stalkers, or maybe one after the other, was an unsettling thought. If Y/n had just been watching Spencer, there was still a stalker out there watching all of them, and no way would they not be jealous of how Y/n had been successful in getting close, if they knew about it at all.

There was also the fact that Spencer had fallen really hard for Y/n. He had some very strong feelings for her, but low every memory and feeling seemed to be tainted by the image of Y/n sitting in her car outside his house, or looking over him as he slept. How long ago had she stopped? Why had she stopped? How far had she gotten with stalking him? How long had she been doing it before she stopped? He thought of the day he walked out to those Skittles on his car and his heart had completely stopped as all the stalker cases filled his head in one go, as they did now. So many more cases now though, and much more fear.

What did she know that he didn’t know she knew? That she’d learned from watching him without him knowing?

When he apprehended to woman unsub and called an ambulance for Y/n, they’d all ended up in the hospital as they too often did with cases that went just a little wrong. Hotch had wrung the story out of him and now everyone was here and had heard the full story, especially his explanation of why he let Y/n go in alone.

Eyes slowly moved to Spencer, but he couldn’t handle it. He left, making up some reason about wrapping up the case and telling the local police they’d succeeded and such to get back to the precinct and to a computer.

It took him an hour to find Michael Bills. He was Y/n’s therapist. Spencer had dug deep into Y/n to get answers to his questions. Answers he couldn’t wait to get when she woke up, because he needed them right now. She had done everything to keep Michael and her past buried, but with help from Garcia he’d been able to dig it all up.

He called Michael the second he found the connection. “This is Dr. Bills speaking, how can I-“

“Tell me what you know about Y/n,” Spencer demanded. “Please,” he added shortly as an afterthought. This man had known. He had KNOWN and he just, what, didn’t say anything? Let Y/n keep going? Let her work with Spencer?! He was in town, how did he not stop her, knowing what she did?

There was a soft sigh. “Is this Dr. Spencer Reid then?”

He didn’t seem surprised. It agitated Spencer. How much did this man know about him to be able to read the situation and put it all together so quickly? “Yes,” he finally answered.

Michael hesitated. “What do you want to know?”

“You’re just going to tell me?” Spencer asked, eyebrows knitting together. “What about Doctor-Patient confidentiality?”

A pause. “Y/n would want me to tell you. I’d rather it be me anyway. If she did it she’d be too hard on herself and no one else was there.”

“Too hard on herself?” Spencer snapped.

Another pause. “Dr. Reid, talking as a professional, Y/n was a very strange case. She came in tears, begging me to make sense of her mental state and help her get better. Told me first session that she was stalking an FBI agent and that she felt terrible for doing it but she was in too deep to stop herself. She cane to me for help, a total mess, and did every single thing I told her to do. Worked with me and was open and honest when something didn’t work. She worked two whole years to shake you from her mind and make a better life for herself. I was there when she burned the pictures. I was there when she threw away her camera and emptied her apartment of everything she could find that reminded her of you.”

“Not everything.” He was trying to find something she was still guilty of. It seemed it had been over ages ago. “She still had my favorite book. One of her pictures inside it.”

Michael hummed, considering that. “She probably missed it. Dismissed it later, as it was just a book. I... look, Dr. Reid, I can only speculate as far as that but I can tell you from first hand experience she did a 180. Coming from someone who wanted to turn her in because I didn’t want to get involved with a federal agent and his stalker, I tell you now with full confidence that Y/n is absolutely everything. Her job. Her friends. Her time. Her sanity and peace of mind. Her self respect. Coming to terms with being a creep was hard for her to do, and she still holds herself accountable for that.”

“Why did she become friends with me?” He had to know. He was desperate. He needed something to be angry at her about. How could he hold something that had ended SIX YEARS AGO over her head now? She’d saved Spencer’s life more times than she’d put it in danger. “And- and how far did she get? Does she know where I live? Did she come into my house?”

“No,” Michael rushed. “It- well this won’t be funny to you, but we used to joke that even when she was crazy she still had enough sense to draw a line. She... never followed you home. It was something she was proud of.” S long silence between the two men. “Honestly Dr. Reid, I’m going to tell you what I told her. Years ago she had an obsession with a boy she had a crush on. A fantasy where you were the center. But she broke that herself and cleaned herself up, allowing a space for you two to genuinely form a relationship. I think whatever she’s feeling now? The relationship you guys have? I think it’s genuine, and totally safe and real. I think she is as far from crazy as one can get. She pulled HERSELF away from stalking. She’d been done a year before we even started working together. Have you ever seen anyone do that?”

Spencer had to admit, he hadn’t. He also had to admit that... he had nothing to be mad at her about. I mean he did, but he was six years too late to lord this over her. She didn’t deserve to have all her hard work ignored and years erased. She didn’t deserve to have the lowest she’d ever been - the worst thing she’d ever done - shoved in her face and down her throat. She was kind and good and caring. She deserved someone who gave her the time of day and respected the shit she went through to make a real life for herself. Who recognized all she’d done to leave behind a destructive path and end up working for the FBI in the BAU, practicing to be an agent and save lives and stop people like who she’d almost become.

Spencer rubbed their bridge of his nose, sighing. “Thank you.”

He could hear the smile in Michael’s voice when the man spoke again. “My pleasure.”

Spencer ended the call, standing up from his desk. He had even lore to explain to his team, and when Y/n woke up... they had even more to talk about.

Boy oh boy I love it when I fall for that.

Y/n didn't know what people usually dreamed about when they went into a coma, but she really hoped it wasn't anything like this. She had no idea how long she'd been out, but in her little mind palace it seemed she'd been here for eons. She remembered a time before here but it was almost like a dream, or at best a story she read when she was a child. She HAD been a child after all, even though she couldn't remember it. All she could remember was here and now, sitting in the dark of nighttime in this field, fingers every so often wrapping around the grass to feel it before letting it go and going completely still before doing it again after a while. It was silent here. No wind or night animals. Just the moon and stars and the dark, tall blobs in the corners of her vision that she assumed were trees. Or some monster that was waiting to kill her. Either way she didn't have any fear for it. Monsters weren't real after all, right? She'd been sure of that once. Now she wasn't so sure though. Monsters didn't have horns and claws and fangs like she thought, but they were just as real. She saw one every time she looked in the mirror.

Is that why she was here? Was it a punishment for everything she'd done? Had it been so wrong that she had been trapped here in this eternal nighttime, unable to move as she looked at the stars and wondered when something would happen? Nothing did happen though. She just sat there in the dark, alone. At least the air wasn't too cold and the ground was comfortable.

Hold on that wasn't right. She wasn't a monster. She'd seen monsters. She'd seen the blood on their hands, and the hunger for more of it in their eyes. She had seen the pile of bodies and the tension in bodies that would never truly leave, even if they did survive. She'd seen people get murdered live and watched as people other than just the monster with its fingers around her neck got off on it like it was some kind of porn. She'd seen a monster have sex with its girlfriend in the places it killed other women. She'd seen people murder those they loved most because they thought it would help increase their luck. She'd seen fantasies so thick and twisted that it didn't even make sense to those with normal minds. Those like her who knew when a line had been crossed.

She wasn't like those people. She had been headed down that path, changing into one of them, but she had stopped herself. She'd never be able to cover all the scars from the healing it had taken to e herself again, but she was herself as much as she could be after flipping everything on its head and making it out for the better. Well, as herself as she could be without going back to old habits. Better than her original self, even.

She was a good person. She'd made mistakes, but she'd also made up for them god damnit. She'd sacrificed everything to make herself a person who made life better for others. She didn't deserve to be alone in a field, surrounded by maybe trees maybe monsters with no grasp on the past and therefore no acknowledgement of the future. She didn't deserve to sit in the dark with no good company, trying to make sense of the here-and-now foggy place her mind had been wedged.

It was that thought that pulled her out of it. Pulled away from the dark forest with the stars that began to disappear as shadowy figures stepped int he way of her seeing them. Pulled away from the sleep, jerking her awake, eyes shooting wide as her body spasmmed, hands wrapped tightly around her sheets. Tears were already streaming down her face and something was beeping sporadically. A burning pain ripped through her body and all she could see was the last thing that had been there before she'd been taken to that place that was nowhere and everywhere all at once. A hand gripped her arm and she screamed, her vision blurred by her tears.

"Y/n." That voice. She knew that voice. It cut through her panic, such a familiar sound with so much care and concern in it. A voice she never thought she'd hear again, let alone with those emotions in it. Her eyes focused as her gaze sought out the face she was so hoping to see. To her relief, her eyes locked with another pair, brown and large with concern and warm.

"Spencer?" She croaked out, leaning away in surprise.

The room grew still and quiet until Y/n's head cleared and slowly everything came back piece by piece. The room was full of who she guessed was now her ex-coworkers. People she saw once as family, but now knew probably hated her. No one could make eye contact with her except Spencer. They were too busy looking at him as he looked at her. Y/n felt her head fall as she looked at her lap in shame. She wanted to apologize. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She wanted none of them to be there. Why didn't she just wake up alone?

When she went to pull her knees to her chest to hide her face, she winced, her hand shooting to her stomach. "Careful," a nearby doctor warned her. "You'll pull your stitches.

Then her mind cleared more, and she remembered the woman above her. The sick smile that twisted her face as the knife went in and out of Y/n again and again. Y/n closed her eyes, leaning back into bed and pulling the blanket over her head, groaning softly. Now that it seemed her freak out had passed, everyone was filing out of the room. Had they been outside waiting for her to wake up? Maybe they felt obligated since they had a relationship with her, even though they probably didn't want to anymore. Maybe they were just waiting to say goodbye and fire her.

Her mind began racing, filling with thoughts that made her chest hurt much more than her stomach did. When it went quiet outside and she thought she was alone, she began crying. She moved her hand against her mouth to muffle it, but allowed herself to let go and release the little sobs she'd been locking within. Her worst fear had come true. Her past mistakes had unearthed and were ruining her life once again. All the friendships she'd made. The job she so loved and was looking forward to becoming a bigger part in was being taken from her before she could even really start.

A hand skimmed her shoulder and she squeaked and jumped, moving her blanket down in surprise. To her horror, none other than Dr. Reid himself was sitting in the chair next to her bed, looking rather upset. He probably was listening to her self pity and loathing it. Loathing that she could feel bad for herself when he probably felt she deserved every injury she'd gotten. Did he hate her that much? Was everything so far ruined in such a short time? If she could go back in time she'd go back to the first day she saw him in that stupid coffee shop and strangle herself. How could she have been so stupid?

Self loathing like she'd not felt since she'd first realized how messed up she was began to rise up in her chest and consume her. Her chest restricted and her heart began to burn. Her throat closed and she found she couldn't breathe. "I-" She cut off, her eyebrows coming together as her face tensed as she struggled to breathe.

Spencer's concern grew. "Are you okay?"

Her hand rose to her chest, trying to massage it as if it was a tight muscle rather than a panic attack. She knew herself well enough to know that's what it was. She used to get these all the time, and still did occasionally. It started when she'd had a breakdown over her actions against Spencer and hadn't left her fully since. "I'm- fine," she managed, her face contorting further at the pain it caused her. "I-" She sucked in a breath and felt it get lodged in her throat.

"Panic attack," Spencer realized quietly.

"I'm-" But again it was cut off as she winced, shaking her head. She covered her face.

Spencer reached over, grabbing a pen off a nearby desk. It looked to be some sort of table, with food on top of it. It must have had wheels, because he pulled on it and it moved closer. He moved the food off, putting the desk in between them and setting the pen on top. "Can I show you something?" She looked over, feeling the urge to snap at him but holding it back because he didn't deserve that. Why didn't he just leave? "I can move this pen with my mind," he told her confidently. "Do you want to see?"

That caught her attention. "Uh-" But then she winced again.

He took that as a yes and stood up. He picked up the pen, holding it out for her to see. "Give me a second as I..." He rubbed it on his pants. "I have to charge it with static electricity. It makes the pen move better and connects it to my mind so I can move it better."

"So you move it with static electricity?" She asks quietly. Her words were a little breathless but came nonetheless.

He tried to hide a smile and failed. "No. I move it with my mind." She rolled her eyes and he chuckled. He placed it back on the table when he finished "charging" it and then pointed at it, sitting back down. "Now, watch this." She did just that, her eyes on the pen on the table and his finger as he pointed to it. His finger began to move forward and to her shock and wonder, the pen began to roll along with it. It went on and on until it fell off the end of the other side of the table, his hand dropping to catch it at the last second.

"Okay that was not some static electricity bullshit," Y/n accused, pointing her own finger but at him rather than at a pen on a table. "How did you do that?"

The grin on Spencer's face was contagious, pulling up Y/n's own lips. "A magician never reveals his secrets, you know that." She rolled her eyes and laughed and he relaxed. "You feel better?"

His words made her stop short. "You... Yeah." Her chest had loosened and her body had relaxed. There's wasn't any pain. She could breathe just fine. "How did you do that?"

"Distraction." That was an answer he could give her. "I took your focus away from what you were thinking and feeling and it allowed your body to move on more quickly."

Y/n was quiet for a few seconds. Long enough that the silence was noticeable and Spencer felt the urge to reach out and comfort Y/n when she looked away from him. "Why did you help me?"

He knew what the real questions behind that was and he sighed. "I talked to Michael." She looked up at him sharply. He was already looking back and their eyes locked. There was no judgement in his gaze and it surprised her. "I was... a little freaked out at first. The BAU has a stalker. One that's been following all of us and has been killing people to show that he knows our cases. Sending us gifts to let us know he's there. I thought you were..."

Y/n shook her head. "God no. I could never kill anyone, Spencer."

"I know." He offered a small smile. "Six years ago huh?"

A small groan came from Y/n. "I hate thinking about it." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "And I don't expect you to forgive me, Spenc-" He cut off, shaking her head. "Dr. Reid. I don't expect you to trust me again either. And I especially don't expect you to work me considering you don't trust me, so I'm quitting."

Spencer jerked. "Y/n, this is your dream job. What you've always wanted."

She nodded. "I know that, but there are other things that people do. I don't expect people will hire me as an officer of any kind once this goes on my record, so I'll just have to do..." She shrugged, her face set as she glared at her hands. "Something else."

"You're an idiot." She looked over, confused, to see him smiling. "I know why you're doing this, and you're a total idiot." She didn't know what to say to that, so Spencer simply continued. "Did you know that a few years ago I was kidnapped during a case? I was drugged really badly. So much so that I got addicted while on it. Or maybe it was before when I found more of it once I was home and continued to use it. Either way, it got bad pretty fast. Hotch found out and told me that he would have to let me go if this continued. You can't give someone who's drugged a gun. I even... came to work once." He winced and Y/n felt her heart shatter in her chest. She knew what he was talking about. She remembered that span of time he seemed off. Distant and faded. She'd thought it had been the job getting to him. Maybe depression. Shed never imagined something like this. "If we were all judged by the worst things we'd ever done. Held accountable for mistakes we made years ago. If we were all judged based on the lowest points in our life, I wouldn't be here either." He reached forward, taking one of her hands between two of his. "I'd like you to stay. You add a very important piece to our team, and... I'd miss you. You're my friend, Y/n. No matter what you did over half a decade ago, YOU stopped it and got better. You didn't have to be stopped by someone else. You changed it made a better life for yourself and now we have a relationship that is very real and I don't have many of those." He looked at her and suddenly 'friendship' sounded different when he said it. "I'd like you to stay."

Well, how could she say no to that?

-

"So what's going on with you two?"

Y/n was half asleep, her head on Spencer's shoulder. After she'd gotten out of the hospital and returned to work her and Spencer had been inseparable. Now that the air was clear they could be honest with each other. They still weren't doing anything about the feelings they both seemed to have. Y/n was nervous to cross that line and Spencer wanted her to feel free to take things as slow as needed. He'd be lying if he didn't admit that he also needed time to come to terms with her past himself. They'd had a long talk about it, with Y/n telling him what she knew and how far she'd gone in stalking him. It had been a hard thing to hear, but most of the information was fuzzy for her to recall or outdated, so it didn't matter. Even more had been overlapped by what she'd learned naturally through their current friendship, so that helped. In return of his forgiveness, she'd gone on a rant of all the stupid things she did in high school - not something he'd asked her to do, but something she'd insisted on anyway. He'd been laughing so hard at the end of her most embarrassing high school moments that all had been forgiven and it didn't seem as weird anymore. Maybe he just had a higher tolerance than he should.

Now they were here, much closer and familiar with each other as well as much more open and honest. Y/n never pressured Spencer to tell her anything, sensing the line he'd silently drawn of her getting too much into his business. She chose to be quite open herself though. To the whole team, not just Spencer. The team thought there would have been more hesitance, but before Spencer knew about all of this and it had put a little chip into their relationships, he'd been pretty sure of much stronger feelings than friendship so it had progressed pretty quickly.

It didn't matter what either of them had done in the past. They were much more concerned with what they were doing it now, and making sure that they did as much of it as possible together.

Spencer chose to hum rather than shrug, in favor of not waking Y/n. "I like her. She likes me."

"And everything else?" It was Morgan asking. The man was always protective of Spencer, but Y/n had been his friend too and he felt the need to have her back as well. Of this whole thing went south it might end up REALLY ugly.

"It doesn't matter," Spencer decided. And then he let it go. And Y/n felt her own chest release, finally really setting all those old fears free. It just didn't matter anymore.

Morgan nodded though Y/n couldn't see that. "Cool."

And that was the end of it.

-

"I can't believe it's real," Y/n whispered softly. She had gone through school. She was graduated. She was a REAL member of the BAU now. Badge and gun and all. She thought of her younger self looking at that TV screen as she watched the news as a child, and how proud that little girl would be to see who she had grown up to be. Her eyes turned to her friends. "I did it."

Spencer moved forward first. "And now there's something I have to do." They hadn't been as close since Y/n had gone to school, but they still talked all they could and hung out around their schedules. The most they'd seen each other was between calls at work - but then it was mostly dead bodies talk and asking her to research people who might be killers, or at least connected to them. Now was one of the few times they'd been in person, and would be the first of many as she'd be following them on cases rather than staying behind with Garcia.

He took the pause of a moment to grab her face, pulling their lips together, and she let him. They'd made a deal to wait until she was graduated so that neither of them were distracted amidst all the very important things that required their attention more. Now they didn't have to wait anymore.

The rest of the team cheered and hooted and hollered but the kiss didn't last long. It wasn't a surprise, but it had been long awaited and even the chaste exchange was something to be celebrated.

"To the future?" Y/n offered quietly.

"To the future," Spencer agreed.

"As long as you guys aren't idiots on the field," Emily groaned. Her smile let them know she was joking though.

"No promises," Y/n responded easily, the two separating so she could sass her friends that had become family so quickly. "Especially to you." She smirked and the room erupted in laughter and acknowledgement of Y/n's jab at Emily.

Yeah, they were going to be just fine.

-

Tag List: @ajwantsapancake @urie-bowie-mercury

Spencer Readers: @realimbo

[popculturebuffet]

Green Eggs and Ham: Here (Patreon Review for Emma Ficci)

Hello all you happy people! And I have my first fully paid for comission and patreon review all in one! Yes my good friend Emma became a patreon and you can too, go to patreon.com/popculturebuffet. Even one buck a month helps and 5 a month nets you a review of whatever of your choice a month. An episode of any tv show I have acess to. It feels good to have more than one person paying my salary, though I sitll want to thank Kev, my other patreon for helping with that. 

So with that all in order, let’s talk about this thoroughly weird, thoroughly wonderful show from a couple years back. Green Eggs and Ham is modern adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book..... and I bet those of you who haven’t heard of this series before or it’s reputation just had your bowls clinch a bit. Yeah while I haven’t seen illumination’s takes on the maestro of children’s books, I haven’t heard the best things and the trailers and odd and counter productive marketing tie ins for the Lorax have made me want to stay 30 feet away from it at all times. Seriously you get certified Legend Danny DeVito.. and you waste him on “Dat’s a woman” a joke that I don’t have time to unpack all the ways it sucks. My point is Seuss really hasn’t had the best time with adaptations latey.  But leave it to Warner Animation and Netflix to pull out a great one. Yeah I wasn’t too excited about a tv adaptation of one book at first due to all this and even a celebrity cast wasn’t a good sign. They roped Danny DeVito into the Lorax. So even with a whopper cast containing Michael Douglas, Diane Keaton, my boy Adam Divine, Ilana Glazer, Kegan Michael Key,  Jeffery Wright, Eddie Izard and JIllian Bell.. I wasn’t convinced. But word of mouth was really good, and the animation looked downright gorgeous, perfectly mimicking suess’ work and feeling like an unabashed love letter. 

So I did what I tend to do.. and sat on it for several years because I simply forgot to watch it till my friend comissioned it and here we are. And off the bat.. the reputation.. is not remotely overblown. This is easily the best Dr. Seuss adaptation i’ve seen in some time taking the best of his ideas and whimsy, with what little behind the scenes stuff I could get saying they specifically took art design from his art of book, with a modern and intresting story behind it and an all star cast that this time around are used well instead of just being there for Name Recogntion. Not only that but it takes inspriation form, of all things, Planes Trains and Automobiles, but does so well so far, getting the oddcouple dynamic down perfectly. 

So join me under the cut as I cut this bit of green eggs and ham into bite sized pieces for you all and go into why it’s so delecitable. 

This episode’s mostly broken up into bits to introduce all the main players, so as I tend to do when there’s multiple plots, I will be covering each one at a time. 

Guy and Sam: The Failed Inventor and the Animal Thief

So our story begins with.. a ninja breaking into a zoo to steal the rare Chikaraffe. 

Neither was the narrator, played by Key.. and the narrator naturally for a work like this delightfully interacts with things and is one of the best parts of the whole episode. But this already shows how well the series updates things. There’s one or two things like Ninja Sam or a family making ducklips during a photo, there’s even a fairly obvious trump stand in we’ll get to.. but none of it’s SO overdone it takes you out of things or dates the projects. The tech is kept to about the 70′s or 80′s with cameras still used instead of camera phones, crt tv’s, and what have you, and most inventions seens are susian. It feels wholly in line with his books while still nudging it into our current decade here and there. In other words.. how you SHOULD do it: add in a few things here or there but no overt pop culture refrences and at most a take that at something Seuss would gladly take aim at. 

So we meet our other hero the next day, Guy-Am-I. Guy is the show’s version of the nameless harassment victim from the books, with a bit of a darker fur and hat, likely to help better distingish him from sam as well as sell him being older than his co-star. It’s a good change, and helps sell Guy as what he is.. a grumpy middle aged man who keeps failling in life as demonstrated by his way to the inventions: he falls in a puddle, signs no on a pettition because he’s in a hurry, reminds me of man in a hurry from hatchefield but I couldn’t find a good image of him saying that in time and takes a picture of the family “Say runing my life” “ruining your life!”. We later see after some of the following scenes Sam do the same.. but he hops over the puddle then dives ino for fun, signs an entire page of the pettition, and takes tons of pictures. It’s a nice establishing scene for both. 

Guy is presenting his invention for Snerzco, your standard megacorp given a delightful Seuss twist with LITERAL pencil pushers and beancounters, to present his invention, with other inventors presenting, witht he hopes of presenting to Snerzz himself, having such delightfully bonkers and seussian inventions as a reverse umbrella (it rains on you) and an automatic fingercrosser. It’s touches like this that really tell me the series really loves Dr. Seuss. 

Sadly things don’t go well for guy as he’s hoping his invention dosen’t explode, his invention being a backpack made of hands to help people fly. Most people are imprestted apart from Michelle a bean counter who.. randomly snarks she wouldn’t let her daughter fly on it.

Yeah it’s not a great introduction for one of your major characters to have her randomly mock something that hadn’t exploded yet, and to for no reason bring up what a paranoid and unfun parent she is. We’ll get to her more in a bit. But yes it does explode and Guy’s dreams are ruined. 

And this whole picture.. shows who guy is. He’s someone whose kept trying agian, and again and again only for it not to work, and to get laughed at by the public and spat on by god themslef. It’s easy to see WHY he’s such a bitter curmudgeon: life hates him, so why shouldn’t he hate it back. That’s a self defeating prophecy of course but this is episode one and tha’ts probably the point of the series: to explore this. That being said I could see this coming from a mile away and felt it to be the most unupsired bit of the episode. 

Guy enters a diner to get some Oatmush “The Sadmans Special” after the bus leaves before he can get to it because again, God hates him personally.  No the sadman’s special is a famous bowl from KFC. I should know as a professional sadman. Regardless Guy is miserable.. and in enters sam, whose fascenated their “Breifcase Buddies” because thier briefcases match.. and unlike the above I like how they call attention to them being identical. We know wha’ts going to happen there but the lampshading helps it go down easier and makes us wonder if they will swap. Sam is a regular, being friends with Donna the waitress and ordering his usual green eggs and ham.

So we get the expected bit: Sam asks Guy to try them, he says no, but the show makes a good choice. Instead of just.. stalking guy for the next 11 episodes to get him to try it.. he simply asks if he’s actually tried it, Guy says no and makes a great poop joke, and Sam leaves it. He apparently asks once an episode, but it’s made more into a character thing; Guy refuses because he hates to try new things outside of his inventing and that’s hit a wall. It’s also a nice suprise that Devine and Douglas just play perfectly off one another. The two are from vastly diffrent generations and backgrounds acting wise, but they just work perfectly together and it’s what makes their interactions work. 

Sam does leave it and the other inventors having ALL got the golden ticket, arrive and Sam treats them.. only to notice Guy’s paper and the fact guy failed, and asks donna politely to get guy his mush as he ordered first. It’s good setup for Sam. We saw him be nice and free and what not, but we also see that while he can be insietive (He asked guy what broken dream he had earlier in the scene) he does geniunely care and it isn’t just surface level. He loves people and helping them and getting to know them. 

Of course while Guy is greatful, showing that beneath his own exterior he’s not a bad guy just one made miserable by life, he’s not going to be best friends or anything.. that’s a lot to ask they just met and takes his case after gulping down his oatmush. 

That night Sam prepares to leave, having given Donna his adress.. multiple times. in the hopes someone comes over and hangs out. Can relate even if i’d never go that far. He does however reveal himself as the ninja and prepare to take the chikaraffe with him for whatever reason. 

Guy goes to his hotel room to sulk, not helped by the other inventors partying outside, and full of misery and self loathing throws his suitcase in the fire.. until it makes a noise. He quickly pulls it out to find the Chickaraffe. Will he surivive? I mean probably. We have 12 episodes left. And a full second season. God this is going to take a few years.. regardless, let’s move onto the subplots. 

MIchellee and E.B.

We meet Michelle’s daughter EB who just wants to live but her mom dosen’t let her have toys or shenaniagnas.. and comes off untetionally as really abusive. She’s SUPPOSED to be overprotective, but saying “I detect a hint of whimsy.. i’ll allow it” really just paints you as an overcontrolling psycho. Their headed on a trip and while EB wants to catch the chickaraffe for herself dosen’t have the time and her mom gives her a magnetic friendship bracelet.. that shackes her to her. Just... yeah Michelle has made me  hate her in one episode and she’s played by Diane Keaton. How do you do that? Hopefully she’ll get better but hearing about these two characters was part of the reason I procastinated so long. The other is my brain being kind of a forgetful swamp. 

Snerz: We meet Snerz himself who has someone bringing him the chickaraffe. Snerz is a cold, mean man with trump hair.. that in this case is a literal being he’s forcing to be his hair, has everything gold plated and keeps animals in a wall forcing them to stand on the other side and put their heads through like he mounted them because he’s a sociopath. And this is the refrence I meant. Snerz has many comparisons to trump, the hair, the gold platings, but it dosen’t really date the thing as Trump has been around since long before this and will sadly probably be around till his inetivitible jail sentence. But it’s not so overt or over the top that it takes you out of it it works. Okay one more. 

BAD GUYS:

Two mysterious agents, one old and one on her first mission, go to the zoo and interogate the guy running it holding him over a slapping turtle exhbit. Their after the chickaraffe and depart.. with the yougner agent accidently dropping him. Whoops. At least he gets to get hit into space by a turtle. Some of us never will “Sigh”

Final Thoughts:

This was an excellent first episode. It fleshes out the characters well, sets up the story without feeling too slow, and the show strkes the right ballance of being it’s own thing while still feeling Seuss. It’s a wubusoully wonderful good time and I recommend checking it out. I look forward to the rest of the series over the next year. 

Next on this blog: Sleepover time as Shadow into Light, my Lena Saberwing retrospective resumes. 

[jordanstrophe]

This One is Mine, part...10?

Masterlist 

Anon ask, Anon receive c:

(I am aware the Content Warning spoil a lot, but I want everyone to be safe and comfortable. The main story will have a happy ending though!)

CW: Very Intimate whumper, manhandling, restraints, Whumpee recaptured by whumper, gun mentioned, Arrest made, implied whipping, Blood, Death threats, gun mentioned, Gag, Kidnapping mentioned

Michael sat crumpled under the desk, face pressed against the corner, twitching and shaking, the gashes on his back burning. He wanted to go home... He didn’t even care about his life before all this, he hardly even remembered it. He just wanted to stay with Charles.

Maybe he forgot about him already... 

He let a quiet sob escape his lips, but held in the rest. Almost immediately, two hands reached down and roughly grabbed his bound arms, pulling him from under the desk. He yelped as he was pulled into Malcolm's lap, who cradled him in his arms.

“Shh, baby, don’t cry. He’s not worth a tear.” Malcolm whispered, thumbing them away. He tucked his face into his shoulder, whimpering and crying softly. “You’re home now, lovely. Back where you belong, in my arms, at my feet, isn’t that right?” He asked. “Y-yes master.” He said, he didn’t have the energy to rebel anymore. Malcolm gave him a lovingly smile, stroking his knuckles down his face. Michael wanted nothing but to spit in his face and pull from his grasp, but he had learned not to do that the hard way in the past. 

His phone on his desk rang, Malcolm groaned annoyingly as he shoved Michael onto the floor, who quickly scampered back under the desk. “Who is it?! I’m busy!” He growled into the phone angrily.

“Jake, Kyle, Alice, Emma, Vince...” The voice rattled off a list of names. Before the voice could continue any further, Malcolm shrieked “What is this? What do you think you’re doing?!” He knew who that was, and he recognized all those names.

“Oh, some people you should know. People you took off the street against the system. People who didn’t see anything, but you took them anyway. You know what I’m talking about.” Charles smiled. “You abused the system for your personal gain, it’s like a sport to you, isn’t it? A big game. I have more names if you want me to remind you.”

Malcolm’s face went red, but he shook off the anger, he still held all the cards. 

Right?

“That doesn’t matter, it’s a business tactic! The other founders will recognize that, there on my side, remember?” He laughed.  “Yeah, but the government isn’t.” Charles smirked. 

Malcolm broke down laughing. He laughed, and laughed, and laughed until he was practically wheezing, Michael was pretty hopeful he would die on the spot.

“The government? Please old friend, you wouldn’t dare! You rat me out, the entire system goes with it.” He laughed.  “So?” Charles asked. “I’ll be honest. I’m getting bored, I feel like I beat the game of life a long long time ago. But now I have something else to live for, and if you don’t return him, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe."  “You’re either crazy, or bluffing, and I’m going to go with the second one.” He sneered. 

 “He’s not joking, Malcom.” Nimrah spoke behind Charles. “Is that the lovely Miss Nimrah Loralie? Are you still salty about our last business deal?” He chuckled. “Yes, yes I am, thank you very much. But let me make it clear to you, Charles is no bluffing man, he plans to take down the entire system unless you give him what he wants. Or.. You could always not, and we can go back to the first plan.” She shrugged.

“First plan, eh?” He laughed. “Yeah, me kindly giving you a bullet between the eyes.” She hissed into the phone. 

“You even got her involved. You’re serious here, aren’t you Charles?” He sighed. 

“Deadly, serious.”

Malcolm glanced down at Michael cowering under the desk, he was only hearing half the conversation, too many questions were swimming in his head. Malcolm let off a sigh of defeat. “Alright. Alright. Fine. He’s not worth the trouble, you know where to meet me, tonight.” He mumbled. He hung up before Charles could get another word in. 

Malcolm ripped the phone in two with his bare hands, and threw it against the large mirror, shattering it to pieces that shot across the room. He slammed his fists on the desk, jostling the whole room, the chandeliers clattering and swaying. He collapsed to his knees to come face to face with Michael, who trembled and shook. He grabbed his chin and pulled him closer.

“What is with you, huh? What’s so special about you?! Do you realize what you’ve just caused?!” He cried out. Michael only squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering over the pain in his back. Malcolm sighed, loosening his grasp and petting his cheek. “But don’t worry baby, I’m going to fix everything tonight, alright? Right in front of Charles.” He smiled lovingly. 

Charles' hands trembled, he had made dozens of phone calls, and deleted hundreds of files on every hard drive. Miles nervously paced around the room twitching his fingers in his grasp. 

“Charles, are you sure? Are you one-hundred percent sure you want to do this?” Miles asked.  “I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life. It’s time.” He gave him a sad smile.  “And you’re sure we’re going to be fine? We have protection, right?” Nimrah asked. “Absolutely, every one of you is going to be taken care of, I swear. I take care of my household” He said. 

“But... What about you?” Liam asked. The room went silent. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Miles, I’m counting on you, alright?” He asked. Miles nervously nodded his head. 

When night fell, they drove to the abandoned lot where they did the usual trades. “Nimrah? Something has been on my mind. That day, in the shop, you recognized Michael. You said he was brave... What happened?” He asked. Nimrah sighed, crossing her arms and legs. 

‘'Before our little fall out, I would always attend his parties. I’ll give him credit, his parties were a real killer. But this one night was a bit different. He had just lost one of his favorites, and was pretty mad. He did it himself, of course, but he never blamed himself. He dressed up a bunch of his Pets and had them serve the food and drinks, one of them fell and spilled a lot of really expensive drinks, it’s safe to say he wasn’t too happy.” She huffed.  “I swear it looked like he was about to kill that boy on the spot. But Michael jumped in front and shielded him, He took the punishment instead.” She sighed.

Charles was silent, he was scared to try and picture that scene. “He knew what he was doing, brave kid. But he sealed his fate that day, for that was the day he became the new favorite.” She said. “Man...” Miles muttered, dragging a hand through his hair. Charles could only clench his fists tightly. 

Malcolm’s car pulled up, Michael was knelt on the floor. “Come on lovely, up here.” Malcolm cooed, gently pulled him up on the seat next to him. '‘Now sweetheart, do you know what’s going to happen?” He asked, brushing the bloody hair from his face. “N-No.. Master..” He muttered. “Charles about threw everything away for you, his career, his freedom, all for you! Isn’t that nice?” He smiled.  

Michael’s eyes shot up, he finally felt a glimmer of hope. “He’s... Came f-for me?” He asked, tears streaking down his face. “All for you, he’s just outside, waiting for you!” He grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a tight hug, hissing in his ear. 

“And then I’m going to kill you. Right in front of him, before you even reach him. And while he’s too stunned to do anything, I’m going to kill him, right after he sees you dead.”

Michael’s eyes went wide, his breathing stopped.  No... No he wouldn’t. No... No!  “Why?” He whimpered, too shocked to even break down to sob, he was only breathless. 

‘Why? Because if I can’t have you. No one can.” 

In an instant, Malcolm shoved a gag in his mouth, and tied it tightly. “But shhh, it’s a surprise, so don’t tell him, okay? Oh baby, I’m going to miss you.” He said sadly, as Michael tried to scream, or run, or fight, anything! But he couldn’t... 

Malcolm grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the car. He could see the headlights of another car, beaming across the lot. He heard the other car door slam shut. He tried to shout, to scream, anything to warn then about what was going to happen! But all that came out were panicked muffling sobs. 

“Malcolm!” Charles shouted. Standing in front of the headlights, only his silhouette was visible. “I’ve got your boy, Charles! I honored my part, now do the same!” He called. “Let him go, and we’ll see about that.” He responded. 

Malcolm had a hold on his arm, as he pulled him forward. “Don’t mess this up now.” He whispered, before shoving him forward. He quickly regained his footing, standing in the middle of the lot, his legs quaking under him, as he froze.

“Michael! It’s okay, come here!” Charles called, but he didn’t move. He tried to cry out again, but hardly anything was coming out. He looked up at Charles, with tears in his eyes, as he shook his head no. 

“Sweetheart it’s okay! It’s okay now, come home!” He cried, taking a step closer. Michael only responded by taking a step back, viciously shaking his head no. 

Malcolm laughed. “What’s wrong Charles? Your boy doesn't want you anymore?”  Charles let out a frustrated sigh, as he began to walk towards Michael, who scrambled back and collapsed on the gravel. 

“..Michael?” Charles asked, slowing down his pace, confused. He saw something flash in Malcolm's hand from the headlights, before he even had a chance to do anything, there was a loud crashing sound from the distance. 

‘'Hands in the air! Drop the weapon!” A loud voice announced. Black cars screeched up to the scene, within an instant dozens of people poured out of them.

“I repeat, drop the weapon!” They called again.

Weapon... What weapon? There was a clanking sound that came from Malcolm, who had thrown a gun to the floor with his hands in the air, his face pale, frozen with fear. He looked down, to see Michael still trembling on the ground, unable to move. He quickly grabbed him, pulling him into an embrace for just a moment, before ripping him onto his feet, quickly dragged him over and put him in Miles arms. 

‘Go!” He cried, as Miles held on to Michael. 

He turned around, hand in the air. "They’re not involved, I’m the one who called! I’m the one you want!” He called, as he was immediately wrestled to the ground. He looked up, as saw the same was done to Malcolm and his driver. Malcolm’s eyes were fixated on him, hatred burning in his eyes. “You rat... We had a deal!” 

Michael looked back, and saw what was happening. Miles pulled the gag from his mouth, as he immediately cried out. ‘Wait! What’s happening!? Charles!?” He cried. He tried to pull himself from Miles grasp, but he didn’t let go.

“No no no! Stay with me, he has to do this!” Miles cried, as Michael desperately tried to run to him. 

“WAIT! NO! CHARLES! PLEASE, NO! CHARLES!” He screamed, as Miles grabbed his legs and threw him over his shoulder.  He screamed, cried, fought and pleaded as he was thrown into the back of the car. Miles jumped in the driver's seat and hit the gas. Nimrah crawled into the back seat and tried to sooth Michael, who was screaming and crying.

“Sshh, Michael, it’s alright, calm down.” Nimrah whispered. She pulled off the shackled from his wrists, as he immediately scrambled to open the car door, but it was locked. She pulled him into a hug, trying to calm him down, but he wasn’t having it. They drove for hours, and hours, long passing the mansion. Eventually his voice gave out, as he collapsed in the seat, blindly staring out the window, his face stained with tears. 

“He’ll be okay.” Nimrah muttered, to the both of them. 

“He’ll be okay...”

Tag list: @lave-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @green-eyed-whumpster  @grizzlie70  @myworstdays @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @alien-octopus

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Thank you for reading!

I was quite unsure of this one, as the story was SUPPOSE to be fluffy. (My inner whump came out, sorry) But! It will have a good ending! And this was kind of the only way I could think that could lead up to that ending I wanted. The next chapter will most likely be the last. I may come back and do some drabble, or if someone wants to request something, but the main story is about to come to an end. I’m hopping these past few chapters didn’t go somewhere where people didn’t want it to go. But thank you for coming this far, I really appreciate you! <3