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emswritingsstuff · 5 months ago

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can i plz request rosita x fem reader enemies to lovers 🙏🏼

Sunlight (Rosita Espinosa x Fem! Reader)

Note: Implied PLATONIC! Glenn x Reader bc i love Glenn and i miss him

WC: 3.9k

The prison was in flames, your newly found home gone. Just like that. You and Glenn were left there. As well as Tara, one of the Governors fighters, who was a stranger to you both. You had seen her during the fight, but she looked terrified. She didn’t want to do what they did, and you knew that, so you trusted her. Glenn knew it too; it's why he saved her.

But no one else was there. Just you three. Amidst all the chaos, it was a no-brainer you all were going to get separated. But you did not think it was as bad as this. You both had no clue if your family was dead or alive, or even just injured, anything like that.

It was just frustrating. And now you are stuck with people you barely know. They picked you up after Glenn passed out, you had guessed wanting to help. And stronger in numbers for their benefit. You had tried telling them you had to stay, but without Glenn, your fighting fell on deaf ears. It took Glenn waking up and breaking a window to actually be heard.

Both of you tried to leave, Tara in tow. But Abraham wasn’t budging. What was his deal? You and Glenn kept walking, despite his loud protests. But soon both of you stopped when he spoke up.

“When the people we love kick it, well they disappear. Doesn’t mean you have to go out that way too.” God that pissed you both off, just leave them in the slim chance they’re dead? Yeah no way. Before you could say anything, Glenn was quick to throw a punch. You were stunned, but noted in your brain to high five Glenn for it later.

“She's alive, I'm gonna find her,” Glenn spat, quickly turning his heel and walking away. You nod along and walk forward with him. From behind, you heard Abraham speak up again,”Son of a bitch!”

Abraham tackled Glenn and pinned him to the ground, starting a fight, punching Glenn in the face. “Fucking stop!” With no idea what had come over you, your fist collided with Abraham’s face. You stumbled backward in shock and soon you were met with a punch, that one coming from Rosita. “Punch him again, I’ll shoot you next time,” she said through gritted teeth walking away from you going to help Abraham.

The tensions died down as soon as Eugene spotted the herd, putting all of your angry feelings towards that. Wiping the sweat off your face, you noticed blood on your hand. Rosita can pack a punch you noted to yourself. Grabbing your backpack you ripped out a rag and held it to your nose, hoping the bleeding would stop soon.

“You okay?” You turn your head to see Glenn, holding a water bottle toward you. Taking it, you poured some of it on the rag to clean your face a bit. Handing the bottle back, Glenn took a swig and put it back in his bag. “I’m fine. What about you? Are you okay?”

Glenn just shrugged, sighing frustrated. “I’m okay, just worried about Mags.” Placing your hand on his shoulder, you gave it a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll find her,” he nodded sadly and looked up to see Rosita walking toward you both. She had Glenn’s picture of Maggie, handing it to him.

“Thanks,” Rosita nodded her head in response, walking away but also managing to give you a dirty look before turning around.

“I don’t like them” you said quietly enough so they couldn’t hear.

“Well we don’t have a choice right now,” Glenn sighed in response. Looking down at his feet, almost defeated. Glenn gestured toward the leaking truck, you groaned and crouched down to sit. You put your head in your hands, tears threatening to fall, but you didn’t let them. Last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of these assholes.

“C’mon, we’re going,” Glenn nudged you and you stood up. Sniffling and keeping your head down, not caring to make eye contact. You trailed behind, Glenn leading the way for the groups mostly. You could slightly overhear Tara and Rosita’s conversation from where you were, talking about you. Great.

“The hell is her deal?” Rosita gestured toward you, looking at Tara. Tara just shrugged in response, “Griefing probably, her and Glenn did just lose their whole community.” Rositas face softened a bit, looking back at you but she still whipped her head around. “Well she needs to get a grip, she’s not the only one who's lost people,” She picked up her pace, leaving Tara to walk with Abraham. Tara just shakes her head. That hurt, but you couldn’t let her words get to you. You just couldn’t.

The footsteps stopping caused you to look up, seeing a sign. Terminus. Too good to be true you thought, “Maybe they’re there.”

“Let’s go.” Glenn trudged along, you right beside him. You were going to find your family. Nightfall fell, and you all grew tired, deciding to camp out. You sat close to the fire, knees to your chest, just staring off. It was weirdly quiet. Just the sounds of the fire cracking filling the space.

Abraham then decided to open his mouth, probably deciding it was way too quiet for him. “How many y'all even are there? In your group I mean”

“Don’t know anymore, maybe 12,” Glenn sighed, poking the fire to make sure it stays lit. “And all of you made it?”

“We can hope,” Glenn sat back and looked up at Abraham. He just had that weird smirk on his face, one of humor but kindness too. It was refreshing to meet someone so confident and different, but everything about him and his group still threw you off.

You kept sneaking glances at Rosita from across the fire, already knowing you both weren’t going to be friends. Everytime she had talked about you it was to make a comment or ridicule what you were doing. Granted, you did punch her boyfriend square in the face, but he was pounding Glenn into the ground.

But you couldn’t help but be so interested in her, with no clue why.

Your thoughts got the best of you and you were brought back hearing her speak up, “What are staring at?” Getting embarrassed you look down at your knees in front of you, running a hand through your hair. “Nothing, got lost in thought” you said quietly. She looked away from you and grumbled something to Abraham.

Yeah, definitely not friends.

Back on the road, the day dragged on. Following the track, Glenn kept finding messages from Maggie. Go to Terminus. She’s alive, thank God. While following the track, you got led to a tunnel. “We should go around, no clue what’s in there,” Abraham suggests, Glenn just shakes his head.

“No, it could take days,” Glenn sheds his riot gear and hands it to Eugene. Signaling he was making the choice to go in. “I’m going too,” you say. Though everyone would have figured that out. “Guess this is goodbye, good luck out there. All of ya,” Abraham nods, you both nod in response and walk away. Noticing Tara come up behind you, flashing her a smile and a nod.

Glenn flashes his flashlight down the tunnel, you were scared of what you were going to find in here. But if it meant finding your people, you’d do anything. Walking through the tunnel you came across walkers under rumble, Glenn immediately checking to make sure none of them are Maggie. All of you killed the remaining walkers and made your way up the rumble. When descending down, Tara’s foot got stuck and you were all met with a herd coming toward you. Shit.

It was overwhelming. Glenn was trying to keep the walkers away and you were trying your best to get Tara out. “Just leave me, go!” You shook your head rapidly and kept trying to get her out. “We’ve come this far, like hell I’m gonna leave you.” More rapid gunshots rang through the tunnel, shots that definitely weren’t from Glenn’s gun. Looking over you see Abraham’s strong figure with the rest of his group, and a few other people you couldn’t make out.

It clicked for Glenn faster than it did for you as you were focused on Tara and getting her out of the rumble. But the three people were people you knew all too well. “Maggie?” you let go of Tara and ran, Maggie engulfing you in a hug as soon as you collided. You separated and hugged Sasha and Bob as well, grateful that they were alive.

You all set up camp in the tunnel, you’d offered to take watch. Knowing you probably won’t want to sleep anyways. Gun and knife in hand you sat there. Just letting your thoughts entertain you. Soon though, Rosita walked past you to grab something from the car they’d found and you tried to take this chance to maybe speak and make peace between you.

“Thanks for saving our asses, thought we were done for,” you let out a slight laugh as she just shot you a blank look. Hand on her hip, giving off an annoyed energy. Wrong time, shit.

“We’re only back because we happened to run into your group.” Silently nodding you let her go and just waved your hand as a goodbye. She just scoffed, going back to where Abraham was.

This was going to be rough if they stayed, was all you thought to yourself.

Once you all reached Terminus, your worries were right. Too good to be true. The train car was dark, making you feel like a lamb led to the slaughter. Which wasn’t too far off. Nonetheless, how could you fall for this trap? It was a well disguised trick. Making makeshift weapons proved harder than you thought, but you were desperate to survive this.

All the men besides Abraham, Eugene and Carl were taken. Making you feel ill knowing what they might have to deal with in there. You heard Sasha ask Eugene about the cure. Rosita responded for him in a snippy manner, which pissed you off. “Now’s not the time for that,” you shot back at her, ultimately pissing her off too.

“Oh now that you're done sulking you speak? And you speak back to me? You have some nerve.” She shook her head as she continued working, physically looking angry. You shook your head and looked back down to your attempt of a wooden dagger, hoping it was going to do the trick. Noises were heard coming toward the door and everyone remaining in the train car stood at the ready, weapons in hand. When the door opened, sighs of relief were heard all around as Rick was outside with the rest of the men taken.

Everyone got out of Terminus, no one died. And eventually reuniting with Carol and Tyreese, Rick also getting baby Judith back. You guys couldn’t have been more lucky at that moment.

But luck runs out, all of you were forced to continue on the road, Abraham’s group's big trip to Washington was a bust. Turns out Eugene lied, which you could’ve sniffed out from miles away. And to make things worse, Beth, Bob, and Tyreese were all gone. You were angry, people kept dying.

Sitting in the barn on watch, you stared at everyone. Looking as peaceful as ever. It hurt, all the loss hurt. But you have to keep moving, or at least it's what you told yourself. Abrahams group was now officially part of your group, which turned out to be alright. All besides Rosita.

You found herself wondering about her again. It felt wrong to already hate her, but she hasn’t been nice to you at all. Maybe that's just how she is with most people? You knew that you left a sour taste in her mouth after the big fight, but you wanted to make it right. She wouldn’t let you though, maybe it was easier for her to hate you.

Letting out a deep exhale, you leaned your head up against the wall of the barn. Letting your mind go blank for a while. Not letting yourself think about anything happening. It was nice.

The sun had started to come up, and tensions were raised again. A man named Aaron showed up, he was a complete stranger, inviting you to his community. Not again, this was definitely too good to be true. But he checked out, it was surprising. Once arriving in Alexandria, you were nicely surprised. Homes, running water, decent food supply, the works. Holy shit. This was real.

Adjusting to life there went as smoothly as it could. You were luckily far away from the one person giving you trouble and for that you were thankful. But also kind of sad, but you pushed that away, why would you be sad? She could care less about you. But she plagued your mind all the time.

Even if life was going easy, bumps in the road were bound to happen. And by bumps you mean potholes, massive potholes that ruin your car. Nonetheless, you had to manage to keep going.

But the Saviors paused that idea of moving forward. After the attack on Denise, everyone was on edge. You included, finding solace in your porch. Just sitting out there relaxes you. Usually, you just rest, but today you were just watching. Watching the grass blow in the wind, the clouds travel in the sky, it was relaxing.

Looking toward the street, you can see Rosita walking down the sidewalk. Looking almost distraught and upset. You honestly had no clue what was up. Something was wrong though, you were sure of it. Swallowing your pride, you made your way toward her. Doing your best to catch up before she noticed you were even there.

When you were finally close enough you spoke up, “Hey Rosit-” She quickly stopped in her tracks and turned to look at you. Furious look on her face, “What do you want?” Swallowing hard, you told her, “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you just seem off lately.” You silently played with your hands nervously, why were you even nervous?

“I’m fine. Leave me alone.” She sneered back, turning to walk away again. Letting out a sigh of defeat you lightly yelled, “If you need anything, I’m here.” That stopped her again, this time Rosita didn’t turn around. “Why do you even care, just go,” she said almost silently. But you heard her loud and clear. “I care because you’re a member of our group,” that comment made her turn around to look right at you.

She slowly looked down and walked toward you, you were fully prepared to be told off. But you were surprised when you saw the tears in her eyes falling down her cheeks. “Thanks. Guess you’re not so bad.” she sniffled a bit, laughing to make the situation more light hearted.

You gave her a weak smile, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

After that interaction, things with Rosita were better. You both didn’t argue anymore, but you still avoided each other. It was weird, but at least there was a chance for a friendship?

Shit hit the fan before you could even work on that idea. Negan, that son of a bitch. Killed Abraham and Glenn right in front of your faces. It was horrific. Seeing your best friend die at the hands of a crazy man with a bat enraged you, but all you could do was sob. Sob as the bat hit him again and again and again.

Burying Glenn was the worst thing you had to do so far, and with his pregnant wife? Even worse. You felt numb, Glenn was with you from the beginning and now he was gone just like that. No amount of scrubbing could get his blood off your body. You were angry, you wanted to kill Negan. It wasn’t possible though, not possible when he has a whole army at his disposal.

Maggie had asked you to clean out her and Glenn's house for some of Glenn’s sentimental things to take up to Hilltop. She told you that if you wanted anything you could have it, which you were grateful for. Glenn didn’t have much, he wasn’t one for material items. While packing up a box, you noticed a red cap in his closet. Picking it up, you threw it in the box, deciding to look at it more when you were outside. You packed up a few smaller things and you made your way out, but stopped on the porch when your eyes caught the cap again.

You held it by the brim and looked to see the logo on the front, tears welling up when you saw it was the hat from the pizza shop you had both worked at. Setting down the box gently, you made your way to the stairs of the porch. You sat down and just let the tears fall. Glenn was the one to get you a job there, and he kept you sane when customers got weird or mean. He was like a big brother to you, and now he's gone. Gone for good.

In the midst of your sobbing, you saw a figure slowly approach. Vision blurry, you could barely make out who was approaching. But you soon found out it was Rosita, you were surprised she even walked up to you.

Sitting there silently, your eyes met Rositas and you could feel she was feeling the same pain as you. If not that, something worse.

“Can I sit,” Rosita pointed to the open spot beside you. Giving a weak nod she took the spot and let out a defeated sigh. The silence between you both was comfortable, or as comfortable as it could be in this situation. You desperately wanted to break the silence, but you had no clue if you had the strength too. But one of you eventually did.

“I going to kill that fucker,” Rosita said through her gritted teeth. With the same emotion she had with you all those months ago. “I’ll watch him die, make him feel how they did,” the grip on her hands tightened as she spoke. Her body eased up as soon as the tears fell from her eyes, causing her to put her head down in shame. Giving her a moment you still sat there, looking at the worn out hat. Thinking back to all the good times, even when the dead started walking.

“It was a bullshit way for them to go. Both of them, Glenn would’ve wanted to go out defending his family. Not just be some number. I didn’t know Abraham well, but I know he would’ve wanted that too.” What you said was nothing but above a whisper, but Rosita heard you. You knew she did. Her eyes puffy and glossy, she looked at you, “I’m sorry,” you shook your head. “Don’t, them dying wasn’t-” Rosita shaking her head rapidly made you stop speaking.

“Not that. Treating you horribly all those times, and especially when we first met. I was angry, everything was so shit. I was scared to get close to anyone but Abe and Eugene. My resolution was to make enemies, not get close. Now I realize I was stupid for that.” Hearing those words come out of her mouth was a relief, now you finally knew.

Nodding along, you rested your hand on her shoulder showing her that you understand. She moved her gloved hand to rest on yours, rubbing small circles in your hand. “Getting close is scary, but maybe we can try. Support each other, you know.” Saying that to her made your stomach flutter, but in the best way possible. Your stomach doing more flips when she smiles back at you.

“I’d love that.”

Time moves slowly, especially when you’re anticipating a war. You and Rosita had been working closely ever since that day on the porch. You could confidently say that you both were friends now, which made you happy. There was something else there though, the same feeling you couldn’t pinpoint from the beginning. But you know you felt so much more stronger about her than just wanting to be friends.

You had never felt this way about her, but more thinking made you realize you did. You just didn’t let yourself believe it. She was stunning, her hair looked so soft, her skin glowed in the sunlight, there was so much to look at with her. And she was smart, she always knew what to do. Knowing almost everything you needed to know. It attracts you to her more and more.

When dismantling the dynamite, watching her blew you away. How concentrated she was, now delicate she was to not set them off. How could you have not seen this before? When running to block the ramp, Rosita got knocked over by a walker. Survival instincts kicked in and you quickly took out the walkers and helped her up when the coast was clear.

“You okay?” Rosita quickly nods and runs after Tara and Carl, you not far behind. Once in the car, somewhat safe, you took a deep breath, looking at Rosita in the seat in front of you. Glaring back at you, she gives you a light nod to replace an ‘i’m okay’. Flashing her a soft smile, you look out the window hoping to forget your worries but all you could think about is Rosita.

Fuck, you love her. You couldn’t deny it anymore.

A few days after the highway, you caught Rosita on her way out of Alexandria. Looking more determined than ever. A feeling in your gut told you this wasn’t good. You knew something was going on so you followed, trying not to be creepy but also not wanting her to do something stupid.

“I know you’re there (Y/N), you can’t stop me,” you stopped after she said that. Freezing in your tracks. She also stopped and turned around, giving you a blank expression. “I wasn’t going to, you have your mind set and I can’t stop you. But I at least want to know what's happening.”

“I’m going to kill Negan,” You knew it, but who were you to stop her. You took a few steps closer so that you could put your hand on her shoulder. “Okay, but please come back,” you whispered, just so she could hear.

“Promise. I’ll see you later,” she turned away and walked the rest of the way to the gate. Disappearing into the distance.

You were a nervous wreck. It was late at night when she eventually came back. You were on watch so you were the one to let her in. Pushing the gate, you were immediately met with her blank expression again. You felt off again, like something happened.

“Did something bad-” before you could finish asking her about the mission, her lips collided with yours. The kiss was soft and passionate, but also eager. Like she had been wanting to do that forever. When she pulled away and you shot her a confused look, but also made sure she knew you were okay with the kiss.

“I realized something while out there. I really fucking like you. Like really bad, and I think I’ve always had.” Smiling at her, you nodded softly, taking your hands in hers. “I like you too, Figured it out recently.” She giggled at you and squeezed your hands tight.

If friendship was possible, a relationship sure as hell can be too.

#rosita espinosa #rosita espinosa x reader #twd rosita #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead #x reader #fanfic #wlw #enemies to friends to lovers #angst?

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fcthots · 1 year ago

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ok so this is clearly self-indulgent but what Reader x canon stuff isn’t?? 😤 anyway I’m finally submitting a thing because your portrayal of him & all these ficlets have done wonders for the world—

Italian!Jason (and/or just Jason Who Speaks Italian) & you have used Italian as sort of a “comfort language” since you were growing up together as teens. Yeah, you speak English, but your nicknames for each other, the curses you tend to use, just a lot of specific words because English isn’t always properly descriptive…& there was always a sweet Italian old lady who made the best bolognese & arancini!

anyway, he dies & you’re obviously heartbroken. Skip to Jason finding you (he might be in costume or not) & revealing that he’s alive. He’s too tall, his eyes are too green, he’s too tired and sad-looking. Not that he’s not attractive, but—what if it’s not true? There’s clones, alternate dimensions, dreams…

Then he’s speaking your language. Just partly because you were never fluent. He’s slowly coaxing you into a hug. (Or maybe this is much less angsty & you went from suspicious to in love & ready for a sexy reunion in seconds, lol.)

anyway, have a great weekend!! ♥️ 👌🏽🇮🇹

I'M SORRY THIS IS LOW KEY FUNNY AS HELL BC I'M ITALIAN BUT I'VE SLOWLY LOST ALL MY HERITAGE LMAOOOO

Also I google translated everything bc despite my last name looking like an Italian masterpiece even I say it the English way.

He rotated through every nickname in the book. You were his "principessa", "Tesoro", "cara", "bella", "mia amata", "mostriciattola", etc (princess, sweetheart, dear, beautiful, my loves, and little monster). He called you every sweet name under the sun, all in the language he said "was more fit for your beauty. It sounds much better in Italian."

And one day he stopped calling you anything. One day you just stopped hearing his voice for what you thought would be forever. One day he's calling you "puttana" for stealing his food and then the next day he's dead, laying in a coffin six feet under. You put a red, green, and white rose by his grave because you think he would have found it funny. You don't go back.

You're not the same after, haven't even jokingly attempted to speak a lick of something other than English. You keep quiet, keep to yourself, and think about Jason's spiel about americanized food when you pass by a Dominos pizza.

This all changes, though, when you're walking home by yourself late at night. You have to pass through the bad part of town and maybe you should have been more careful, but it was too late for that now. There were two men and one had a gun; you stood nom chance of making it if you ran. You attempted to back up, just to put some space, but you backed into a trash can and it loudly knocked over. You assailants don’t seem to have appreciated that: one grabs your arm and the other levels the gun at your head. You're shaking and slightly crying, scared out of your mind.

That is until a tank of a man with a bright red helmet drops in. He takes out the man with the gun first and the other pulls a knife to put to your neck. The Red Hood freezes when he looks into your eyes. After the knife starts digging into your skin, he springs back into action. It all happens so fast, you're not even sure what really happened.

But the next thing you know, there's two unconscious bodies on the floor, and the Red Hood is kneeling before you, taking off his mask.

"Principessa?" (princess?)

"PUTTANA?" (BITCH????)

#I am the angst queen #saph’s love letters #jason todd #saph’s thots #jason todd x reader #red hood #red hood x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #jason todd x reader fluff #Italian!jason

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juniestar · 10 months ago

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I really like not having a sense of humor or making cute jokes as often as I used to like try to be funny with me bitch. Now try to be funny with me again. A friend wrote me like “not you silencing notifs in the middle of our convo” I wrote back “they’ve been silenced since 10pm it’s automatic” I will not think of anything humorous to say to you. I hate you. I’ve actually been really bitter against a lot of people recently, many of whom didn’t do anything to me but I just feel like I put my glasses on to look at them and realized they were people and hated them for it, it’s a bit overwhelming. There’s also a subset of these whom I don’t like just because they ignored me when I asked to hang out or whatever and now I see them pursuing things I won’t publicly support bc I KNOW I wouldn’t receive that level of support back. Also I’m put off by one of my coworkers bc he said Drake putting hot sauce on his condom before fucking this woman who’d been trying to baby trap him was “cool” (just don’t have any more fucking sex with her, dude) and he told me that he once punched an ex gf in the stomach bc she’d been hitting him and blocking his way out of the grocery store, I couldn’t tell if he meant play hitting or for real trying to fight him but if it’s the former it’s so gross. And he’s one of those types who dresses like a woman but still IDs as male, which isn’t an issue because a lot of the time I see a light reenter the eyes of people who do this, but he has unresolved issues towards women that I don’t like. I mentioned to my other coworker that I used to talk shit about him and now just have suspicions about him and he told me he’d ask more but didn’t want part in any drama so I should just have fun with my suspicions and THAT made me bitter too even though it’s me who didn’t tell him what my suspicions were! Ugh, I should’ve just told him that I don’t like the way our coworker talks about women so I’d give him a fair chance to respond to something I think has a bit of gravity which isn’t petty gossip shit but I didn’t want to make it weird. I get along well with that guy, he’s not a bad guy so I don’t want to go around telling people how I feel, but I don’t like him much half the time. Each time he’s said something weird I’ve told him it’s weird so at least he knows how I feel. I’m also bitter against men who ask to hang out and I know they want me but they just don’t say it until they’re backed into a corner. It feels so slimy. And I’m bitter that they’re all short, I don’t care, I am. I’m bitter against my old boss, who didn’t pay me for three months instead of looking into things and realizing the system wasn’t getting my timecards, I’m bitter against people who smile in my face but avoid me, I’m bitter against the stained glass place in the Inner Richmond which interviewed me, rejected me, called me back to have me try out working there, getting me to cancel a full day of my usual job to go over to their sad sack of shit place, met another candidate last minute, wasted my day, hired her, and then offered to pay me back for 2 or 3 hours (i was there nearly 3 hours and missed five hours of pay at my other job because I was promised seven hours of work here) instead of the full day. I’m going to go ask for a full day’s pay tomorrow. I’m bitter that I have to work with a former friend who left me because I was too pathetic and didn’t say “thank you” enough on a film set. I’m bitter that my hair is fucking short. I’m bitter that I’d always get happy birthday wishes from my white protestant grandma (important distinction because I have a white protestant grandma, a jewish grandma, and two iranian grandmas) but didn’t realize til after she died that I never sent one back. I’m bitter that I can’t show closeness or care for anyone within my family without feeling like there’s a million eyes on me. I’m really bitter against all the aforementioned people though. And I hate Kathryn Newton’s face.

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florestmoon · 3 years ago

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sauveur

pairing(?): Danny Johnson (Ghostface) x Reader

Notes: This was originally part of that Danny x reader x frank story I told y'all that Im working on, but I changed my outline so I cut it, which is why it starts and ends weird and is short. I was going through some of my old writings I've done and found it and decided to post (ik Im lazy ) bc we love Danny and it satisfies me .

TW: SA attempt, very gross pervy character, depictions of the murder of said character tho, blood. It’s Ghostface duh there will be murder

You should have known allowing one of the school jocks to take you out on a date, which took a lot of convincing on his part, would have ended terribly..

“You fucking bitch!” Ryland yelled, his hand holding onto the bleeding nose. His eyes followed your movements as you quickly stepped back after his release on your arm, hand falling by your side in shock by your own action.

At seeing the blood coating his fingers, his eyes rapidly changed from shock to fury as he continued to step towards you, his fist clenching.

“I told you to get your hands off me !” You panicked as you felt like your option to simply walk away from the boy diminished with the way he was stalking towards you. Eyes darted around the isolated area. You felt like an idiot for letting him drive you out here but you didn’t know the boy was going to try to force himself on you .

Ryland only wiped at his nose roughly before grabbing you by the shoulder and shoving you backwards harshly, a pained yelped echoing through the woods once your back collided with the grassed floor. You felt the breath forced out of you by the impact, groaning as you felt him tower over you.

“What-what are you doing!” His hands gripped your legs after an attempt to scoot away, pulling you towards him as he sat on them. His hands reaching towards your shirt, successful pushing it halfway up your stomach.

You felt sick at feeling his hands touch the side of your stomach, palms pushing against his chest as hard as you could. “What the fuck! Get off me!!”

“Cmon, don’t be a prude. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” He placed his hand over you mouth at a weak attempt to shush you as he began to kiss your beck neck. Each contact from his lips burned on your skin, breath quickening once you realized he was really set out on what he wanted to do.

Feeling his hand slightly loosen around your mouth, you took the opportunity to sink your teeth into the side of his palm and pinkie. The metallic taste falling on your tongue before the sound of his pained yell entered your ears and the hand was pulled away.

Ryland gripped his hand in shock before bringing his other hand up and quickly slapping your across the face. The force causing your head to snap to the side , banging onto the ground for the second time.

Your swore your vision blackedned for a second, the pounding against your skull making it hard for you to focus fully on fighting back. You really were helpless. His hands grabbed onto the waist of your jeans , causing for you to weakly move your heads towards him.

The pathetic attempt of saying ‘stop’ died on your lips at the sight of a cloaked figure behind the brunette that was too busy concentrating on the zipper of the pants. Your eyes widened in horror focusing on the white mask stuck on that frightening expression that you’ve seen before.

Ghost face simply tilted its head, a sharp knife appearing in a wave.

Ryland finally noticed the look on your face, eyes brows furrowing in confusion before turning to look at what you caught your attention. He didn’t get a chance to process before the hand with the knife was brought in one quick motion, slitting the boy’s throat.

You watched in shock as the boy hands came up to hold his throat, blood slipping between his fingers as the force in the swing turned him towards you once again. His eyes nearly bulging out of his head as he looked towards you helplessly

His body convulsed as he coughed, blood splattered from his lips onto your face. You merely only flinched at the contact, body frozen in terror. Your body began to feel numb as you watched him attempt to stand up but only was successful in stumbling towards the side, his knees digging into the grass as he tried crawling away.

ghostface simply walked slowly behind , shaking his head slightly. The boy’s gargling and attempts at breathing was the only source of sound surrounded them, any life in the woods hiding themselves, as though watching the whole exchange.

He didn’t notice any of this in his struggle to reach his truck only a few feet away. One hand not holding his wound reaching towards it. A foot collided to his side, forcing him on his back. A strangled cry vibrated from his chest when the masked killer finally plunged the knife in his chest, pulling it out and bringing back down with more force.

You finally managed to tear your eyes away, body gaining back its senses. You flinched at every sound that the knife made slicing the boys skin. It felt like a life time before it finally stopped and Ryland body went limp. His glazed over eyes stuck on the sky.

Your ears caught on your own heavy breathing, whole body shaking as you stared a spot in the grass. The sound of footsteps surrounded the still night before Ghostface knelt in front of you, his gloved fingers sliding across the sharp metal, wiping the blood away. You finally looked up at him, eyes looking right at the blackened eyes on the mask.

“Are you going to kill me?” A whisper , not daring to break eye contact. Ghostface stayed silent for a few moments, before a hand reached up, ignoring the flinching, and placed on you cheek.

“We’re going to have fun.”

#danny johnson #danny johnson x reader #danny johnson x you #dead by daylight #dbd #dbd x reader #dbd x you #dbd imagine #slashers #slashers x reader

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jasontoddiefor · 3 years ago

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Rant about D.Gray-man and father figures, spoilers up until the most recent chapters:

Mana adopts Allen out of a circus, which had allegedly bought Allen from his parents. So we know that the concept parents is entirely foreign to Allen. He knows that they exist and other people have them, but he doesn’t - and also doesn’t see the need for them. Narratively, we learn very early on that Mana loved Allen and Allen cared for him so much because Mana was basically his savior. So of course Allen blames himself so much for turning his father into an Akuma after he'd died and then sees it as his duty to help free souls as his father cursed him with the ability to do so. So we have a character that went from not caring (openly) about parents, to dedicating himself entirely to his father, building his grief-wrecked identity around him.

Which, you know. Seems pretty standard for a plot, nice father died, resurrected as an Akuma and is exorcised by his kid again, cursing him with the ability to see other monsters.

And then the image starts to deteriorate and you're left staring at it like "oh. oh they were SO NOT okay".

First of, "Allen" was named by Mana. His name before that was Red, for the color his deformed arm. And Allen wasn't just named randomly. As far as he is concerned he was named after Mana's dead dog. Like, that is so fucked up. Especially because throughout the series he always ensures that he is actually called Allen and not by some nickname. He has claimed this name, clings to it as if it’s all he has. (Which, would be an interesting parallel to Lavi, but that’s for another post.

What Allen doesn't know is that Mana named his dog after a deceased friend.

But point is that he still clung to the name of a pet that he'd taken for himself. Next up is the fact that Mana had hallucinations his mental health was continuously worsening to the point that he didn't exactly know where or when he was and likely, at points, saw Allen as Nea, whether that is subconsciously recognizing his presence or not, Allen was definitely aware that Mana was struggling and must have internalized that. As much as Allen saw Mana as his father, and Mana showered Allen with love and took care of him, they were So Messed Up.

And D.Gray-man handles that so wonderfully. When you're introduced to Mana, it's through the eyes of a grieving child who lost everything. Mana seems so perfect, so good and holy, and it is only as Allen grows up and learns more of the truth that he understands this broken image. And this is also one of the reasons why I don't mind the many hiatus of dgm so much because the reader literally got to grow up with Allen. I mean, I was 12 when i started reading it and Allen was 12 when his father died - now I'm older than he currently is in-universe (17) but it still feels like we grew up side by side as the narrative just became more and more mature and you learn to reflect actions more in depth.

So in Mana we have what appears to be a father figure first slowly turning into a deeply hurting man whom you're not even sure truly understood what he was to Allen.

With Allen's teacher Cross we have the exact different development. We see him pick up Allen and apparently tell him about Akuma but that's it. Otherwise we learn that he was rather rough to Allen, made him pay off his debts, left him alone for a long while and didn't even teach him all that much given how much the Order still has to explain to Allen when he joins them - which is also interesting. The fact that Allen has seen Grave of Maria in action and knows precisely what it is, the kind of magic Cross deals with, but is ignorant in so many other ways.

But then we have the plot reach a flashback and we learn that Allen was pretty much catatonic for months after Mana's death and that Cross, while bitching about it bc He Did Not Sign Up For It, cared for him. Fed him, cleaned the bed and him, talked to him and tried to get a rise out of him. All while saying that he can't afford to get attached to Allen bc Allen's death is pretty predestined.

And then again the narrative's growth just helps you reflect on it. You learn to view Cross and Allen's interaction as that of a kid who knows nothing but tries his best and a man who never meant to get attached, to ensure Allen only lived as long as he needed to but suddenly actually grew to love the kid and want him to survive, going as far as entrusting Allen with some of his most precious belongings and wanting Allen to actually deal with his repressed trauma and learn to live only for himself. Like!!! The parallels between Cross and Mana are so fascinating and while Cross by no means was like A Good Guardian, you see that it was him honestly realizing "ah fuck, I did it now. this is my kid huh.". And just!!! The fact that there are not many fanfics dealing with how fucked up it is to raise a kid for slaughter only to realize that you want him to have a fighting chance now makes me wanna cry. Hoshino did such an amazing work building up these relationships.

And I really love how Hoshino didn't go with any of the typical routes for father figures, but uses tropes to dig deep. you have the "uncaring but secretly loves him" father but it is actually bound to the fact that said father had to keep the emotional distance to avoid breaking the world. You have the "perfect and ideal" loving father whose love comes from the fact that he is actually so lost and doesn't have anything at all.

Just,,,,, I adore this manga so much

#dgm #d gray man #Allen Walker #cross marian #mana d campbell #mana Walker #dgm meta

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realcube · 4 years ago

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their team reacts to seeing them with hickeys/back scratches 💫

characters: kageyama, akaashi & kita

tw// fem! reader, sexual references, swearing, blood

kita tw// mentions of daddy kink, punishment, overstimulation - MINORS DNI

KITA’S IS AGED UP!!

thank you anon for the request 💗

Tobio Kageyama

he was on tanaka’s team for game amongst karasuno and he watched his senpai take off his shirt and wave it around after they scored another point

but instead of putting the shirt back on, he kept it off bc he was too lazy to go get it since he threw it to the other side of the gym

then noya took his shirt off too bc he was sweating buckets

but kageyama wasn’t really sure why they had their shirts off so he felt the need to ask

‘why aren’t you putting your shirt back on?’

noya was just kinda like ‘who are you, my mom?’ but tanaka gave him a straight answer which was ‘it helps with ✨ aerodynamics✨’

kageyama isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed so he doesn’t even know what aerodynamics are

but then he watched tanaka make a killer spike and he was sold

shirt = off

aerodynamics = thriving (?)

sets = awesome

back scratches = exposed 😳

hotel = trivago

tsukishima was the first one to notice ofc as he was positioned right behind kageyama

he didn’t say anything tho bc yamaguchi was on the opposite team so he just had to snicker to himself

hinata was like ‘what’s so funny, stinkyshima?!’ bc he automatically assumed that tsukishima was laughing at him lol

but then he followed tsukki’s gaze and leaned back to look at kageyama’s back too

‘yeesh, man. you should probably put some aloe vera on that or something, it could get infected.’

AIUWRAFHBE ok ok hinata isn’t completely oblivious to the connotations of back scratches but he’d never think in a million years that kageyama would get laid so he kinda subconsciously ruled that possibilty out-

kageyama quirked a brow, ‘what?’

‘your back! it’s all mangled.’

then noya and tanaka ran over and fkn BURST OUT LAUGHING

at this point, all of kageyama’s team was surrounding him while the other team waited patiently for them to serve

but after a while, it was clear that they weren’t gonna do that so suga - who was on the opposing team - strolled over to see what they were all laughing about

and when he saw it- bitch- he went red

a cool mom so he probably made a suggestive remark as he walks away

it eventually got to the point where everyone in the gym was crowded around kageyama and for ease, i’ll categorize their reactions:

laughing their ass off ➵ tsukishima, tanaka, nishinoya, coach ukai & yamaguchi

concerned and confused ➵ yachi, takeda, hinata & narita

a blushing mess ➵ asahi, kinoshita & sugawara

unfazed 😐 ➵ kiyoko & daichi

LIVID ➵ kageyama

‘WHY DO YOU ALL CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MY BACK?!’

kageyama could literally break his neck and walk into practise with a neck brace and no one would bat an eye but now that he has scratches on his back, suddenly everyone is so concerned about his wellbeing? where with this energy that time he said that hinata gave him a concussion?

to be fair, he didn’t have a concussion- also, he forgot the word so he told suga that hinata gave him a ‘conclusion’

daichi agreed, trying to usher everyone back to their spot on the court, ‘yeah, it’s no big deal, guys. let’s get back to practise.’

everyone slowly made their way back to where they were previously but since tanaka and noya were still on kageyama’s team, they continued to pry

tanaka flung his arm around kageyama’s shoulders, ‘so how’d you get those scratches, big boy?’

an ungodly laugh left noya’s mouth

kageyama shrugged, ‘(y/n), i think.’

the whole gym room went silent before erupting in choruses of laughter once again

‘WELL YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND NEED TO CALM DOWN THEN!’ tanaka wheezed

kageyama was truly the idiot that didn’t understand the implications of the back scratches - so you can imagine that he was frustrated when everyone started laughing again

‘what’s so funny?’ but then, he recalled the events which he was pretty certain were the reason for the marks on his back......it was pretty funny

you insisted on giving kageyama a back massage after a long day of practise so he took his shirt off and let you go for it

for the record, he really loved it :)) he was just so happy sitting there between your thighs as you sat on the couch and rubbed his back, loosening all the knots he didn’t even know he had

but then he got a lil’ inch on his back and was like ‘can you get that for me?’ since your hands were already on his shoulders/back

ofc you said yes and started lightly scratching the spot he desired, but being extra careful bc you just got you nails done in the stiletto shape and the last thing you wanted to do was puncture his back lol

‘harder..�� kageyama muttered so low that you almost didn’t hear him

you obliged, pressing a bit harder

‘harder.’ he insisted once more

again, you served by digging your nails in a bit deeper

‘harder.’

‘no, kags. i’ll literally pierce your skin if i press any harde--’

‘harder!’ he barked (for a joke) and you jumped from fright, instinctively pushing in more and increasing the pace of your hand

at this point, you were rigorously clawing at his back, on the verge of drawing blood which you could tell by his skin’s newfound crimson pigment

kageyama took it upon himself to lean backwards onto your nails to force you to go rougher as you had yet to ease his itch

then you let out a high-pitched scream so naturally, kageyama jerked away then peered over his shoulder to make sure you hadn’t like..died

‘what?!’ he asked, eyes filled with worry

‘blood!’ you yelled, pointing at his back before sprinting to the kitchen to get a tissue

kageyama’s gaze followed you until you were out of sight, then he lightly touched his back around the parts you were scratching and once he pulled his hand away, he noticed the blood which was now on his fingers

‘oh.’

the concerning part was that he didn’t even feel it tbh 🤔

anyway tanaka and noya probably coo ‘oooh~ lovebirds~’ when you come pick him up from practise

Keiji Akaashi

bokuto heard some ppl whispering about akaashi & (y/n) in the changing room so he turned around to take a look at his friend then he noticed the scratch marks on his poor friends’ back

‘AKAASHI!! DID YOU GET MAULED BY A BEAR?!?!’ he screamed, grabbing the attention of everyone in the changing room and those who weren’t whispering about akaashi before, were definitely doing so now

akaashi smiled softly and shook his head, hastily throwing on his shirt and buttoning it up as he spoke, ‘no, bokuto-san.’

bokuto quirked a brow, wondering what could’ve possibly happened before his jaw dropped to the ground

‘is it ‘cause i patted your back a bit hard earlier?!?!?’

akaashi didn’t even bother to question how bokuto could think that a slap on the spine could lead to scratch marks and instead just replied normally, ‘no.’

bokuto was stumped once again- why else would his buddy have marks on his back? and why was (y/n) such a prominent name floating around in this changing room? doesn’t everyone know that she is taken by bokuto’s best-bro akaashi?

....

WAIT

bokuto’s jaw hung open once again as his soul left his body through an overdramatic gasp, before leaning in and whispering in akaashi’s ear, ‘wait- don’t tell me- you and (y/n)-’

akaashi’s cheeks tinted red slightly so he turned his head away while he pulled on his blazer, ‘no.’

bokuto let out a light sigh of relief, gently patting his pal’s back, ‘ah, good. but then, where did those marks come from?’

before akaashi even got the opportunity to open his mouth to respond, komi and konoha passed the pair, konoha patting akaashi’s shoulder and komi shot him a toothy grin accompanied by a thumbs-up, ‘get some, akaashi.’

then they walked off, konoha mubbling something about his chances with (y/n) being ruined

this left both bokuto and akaashi extremely confused

once all traces of komi and konoha were gone, akaashi proceeded to explain himself

‘backne is a horrible thing.’ he murmured, grabbing his satchel, slinging it over his shoulder before strolling out the changing room. ‘i’ll wait for you outside.’

and bokuto just stood there like (。_。) ‘what’s backne?’

Shinsuke Kita

atsumu had invited the whole squad back to inarizaki for one last game before coach kurosu’s retirement

after ages of arrangement, the whole team were able to make an appearance at the game - whether that be for 10 minutes or the whole thing

kita was able to stay for the whole thing

he was currently warming-up while chatting with aran before he was approached by atsumu, who was as lively as ever

‘mister rice farmer! it’s good to see you again!’ he sung, tossing his arm around kita’s shoulder and patting it in a friendly manner, ‘how’s life been treating ya?’

kita and atsumu somehow managed to make small-talk as if they hadn’t been apart for the last 6 years

‘me and my girlfriend have only been together for 6 months but i think i’m ready to settle down.’ atsumu mused, tapping his elbow before realising that he had been talking about himself for a while, ‘but anyway, i see that you and (y/n) are still going strong. haven’t y’all been together since the first year of highschool? that’s impressive! when are you gonna wife her up?’

kita perked up upon hearing that, ‘uh, yes. but how do you know that?’

atsumu couldn’t help but smirk, casually running a hand through his hair before motioning to the hickey on kita’s neck which was on semi-display, ‘right there, bud.’

kita looked down but unfortunately, his neck didn’t bend enough to see what atsumu was referring to

‘also,’ atsumu chuckled, slightly embarrassed about what he was going to admit ‘i saw the pic of her you put on your facebook.’

‘ah, okay.’ that one kita could understand

atsumu was about to open this mouth to say something but then the shrieking noise of the coach kurosu’s whistle rang through the gym room, indicating the start of the match

the game went surprisingly smooth tbh

minimal fights :o

but kita did get teased quite a lot smh

anyway, after everything was all said and done and everyone started to filter out the gym, kita rushed to the bathroom to check himself in the mirror and see what atsumu was referring to on his neck

once he took a look at himself, he frowned

just as he thought, a hickey - that’s embarrassing

it was clear you made an effort to place hickeys in areas that would be hidden though as the bruise was barely peeking out from under the collar of his jersey, atsumu just has a rather keen eye

however, that wasn’t going to stop kita from pounding you dry when he gets home - as a punishment ofc

kita was about to leave but he couldn’t help but stay and stare at himself in the mirror for a bit longer, recalling last night as he wondered at what point you bit those onto his neck

was it during the 2nd round? or the foreplay? or perhaps the 4th round? wait- no- definitely during aftercare cuddles!..or actually, maybe the 1st round?

in all honesty, he couldn’t remember

to him the whole night was a blur of pounding into you relentlessly, overstimulation, pleads for mercy, tears, passionate kisses and praise

with a sprinkle of daddy kink but let’s not talk about that

oh, and not to forget the way you’d call out his name just as you were about to reach your orgasm

or your sweet, lewd whines that echoed through the room when he thrashes against your sensitive spot

and don’t get him started on the cute little nicknames you have for him that squeal out through moans, like ‘daddy’, ‘master’, ‘sir’ etc

kita snapped out of his fantasies, letting out a sigh and about to exit the bathroom- until he noticed himself in the mirror out of the corner of his eye

he was hard

smh smh smh

now he was stuck between a rock and a hard place

(literally 🤠)

he could either potentially embarrass himself or cause an accident by walking to his car and driving home with a throbbing boner

or he could call you to help him jerk off in a bathroom stall

so he took a seat in one of the stalls - for the sake of the ppl he might run over if he did otherwise

he rung you up and thankfully, you picked up and you weren’t feeling bratty enough to deny him the help he needed so badly

although it wasn’t a very pleasurable experience since he was constantly on hyper-alert just in case the janitor walked in, at least he got a lot of nostalgia from it :))

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hnychn · 4 years ago

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𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 [𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀]

summary : tsuki had always been the rational one between the two of you, but sometimes even he needs his other half to knock him back to earth

warnings : twin!reader, fem!reader, cursing, physically hurt/comfort, generally fluff, PLATONIC, tsuki & reader get into a fight, not edited at all

word count : 1600+

a/n : i was rewatching karasuno's match against shiratorizawa last night, and i thought about this so :) it's just general headcanons about being tsuki's twin and it gets specific when i bring up the match :) enjoy ( ´∀｀)

karasuno masterlist ~ haikyuu masterlist

- contrary to popular belief, tsukishima is actually a really good sibling and an even better twin

- he’ll definitely make sure you’re taking care of yourself and eating and drinking often, especially if you have you’re involved in your own club

- he and yamaguchi wait after school for you too so you don’t have to walk home alone. tsuki says it’s because he doesn’t want your mom or akiteru to stress out over you if you get lost or something, but deep down you know it’s because he cares for you and doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you

- but, if you manage for the volleyball club, it makes his life a lot easier

- you definitely joined before yachi, right at the beginning of the year when tsuki and yamaguchi signed up for the team. you and kiyoko were quick to become friends, along with the third years (the only ones tsuki really trusted you around alone. pls tanaka nearly tackled you to the ground when you said you wanted to be manager had it not been for daichi grabbing his collar and tsuki pusing you behind him)

- tanaka apologised

- do i really need to tell you why tsuki didn’t trust hinata and kageyama around you?

- you were the one to recruit yachi to be another manager as well. she was in some of your classes and you knew her to be a kind and work-driven person, so you asked if she wanted to sign up

- pls babes never stood a chance saying no to you

- she was a blushing mess

- (she highkey has a crush on you and tsuki knows it, but that’s none of his business)

- just like tsuki, you’re able to quickly analyze players and their movements and you also are able to think ahead and plan out attacks or defences with the information you’ve gathered

- so the coaches really like you :)

- during the training camp, you and tsuki got into a fight, y’know, as siblings do. and you’ve gotten into arguments and fights with each other in front of the others, so they weren’t all too worried and assured everyone else that it was normal . . . but then y’all started getting physical

- hurtful words were thrown without thinking, it’s normal, but tsuki went a bit too far with his words and you aren’t the type to cry and run away, so what did you do?

- you tackled that bitch :D

- so there you two were, fighting like kids over the last popsicle in the freezer, while everyone just stood there in shock at what the hell was going on in front of them

- the others were quick to pull you away from each other, and the managers led you away from your brother while the two of you calmed down. it definitely took you a while to calm down from the adrenalin high from tackling your 6’3 brother, but you eventually did and went back into the gym where tsuki was sitting on the bench.

- the others tensed up when you walked over to him and sat next to him, thinking you were gonna start fighting again, but instead the two of you sat in silence for a while

- the other managers, who you’ve become great friends with, eventually got everyone to mind their business to give the two of you privacy to apologise or whatever

- and you did, because he’s your brother, and no matter how many petty fights (verbal or physical) you get into with him, he’ll always be your twin. your other half

- but that doesn't mean you'll never take his ass down again if he doesn't watch his words

- bcs you will ˙ ͜ʟ˙

- the two of you like to tease each other, i mean, this is tsukishima we’re talking about, if he’s going to tease someone it’s most definitely going to be you

- now onto what spurred this whole headcanon >:)

- everyone was nervous leading up to the match with shiratorizawa and, despite him not showing it, you knew tsuki was too. you could tell in the way he got dressed a bit slower that morning and the way he ate less and drank more water. plus it’s just twin intuition, you could just look at him and know what’s up

- n e ways, the match is going on and you would have fallen over the railing of the stands had it not been for akiteru’s grip on the back of your jacket (who scared the hell out of you when he first showed up. “kei’s not gonna like you being here, nii-chan.”)

- so it’s getting intense

- you’re sure this single match has taken 50 years off your life

- you’ll give tsuki a good slap when the match is over for it

- you cried a little when tsuki blocked ushy gushy’s spike, but you made akiteru and yachi swear not to tell anyone especially tsuki since he would tease the fuck outta you and you don't need that.

- and then (y’know where i’m going with this) tsuki just goes and fucks up his hand

- it was like you became the flash because you were down in the court in literal seconds (akiteru swore you jumped over the rails down onto the court, but . . . i guess we’ll never know ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ)

The walk to the medical room was silent.

You could hear the cheers and screaming from the main gym form where you were, the shrill sounds echoing down the hallway almost hauntingly. You cursed a bit when you felt chills run down your spine, because despite being wrapped in your karasuno jacket and an extra jacket akiteru brought, the short length of your skirt provided barely any warmth for your legs.

From beside you, Tsukishima was silent, simply clutching onto his bleeding hand while burning holes into the polished linoleum floor. You had expected him to tease you about the glare you sent Ushijima when you jumped onto the court (said boy would later confess to his teammate that that had been the only moment he truly felt fear), or make fun of the way akiteru’s jacket seemed to drown you and made you look like a wet cat; but he didn’t. And his silence was more unnerving than anything.

But you knew Kei. You knew the looks he was giving, the way his face seemed to relax and become more expressive when it was only the two of you, you could see his thoughts and worries as plain as day on his face.

You were twins after all. You knew Kei better than he knew himself, you knew his attitude was nothing short of a direct result of your brother's lies and his worry was because he had finally gotten a taste of what volleyball was really like, and he was craving more.

So, as the eldest twin, you did what you did best.

You teased him.

“Stop making that face, you look constipated.”

Tsuki snapped his head over to you and scowled, “Shut up.”

“No, you shut up, and listen well, Kei.” Your strict and monotone voice surprised him a little, he hadn’t heard you use that voice in a while, let alone with him; you were known as the nicer twin after all, “You need to trust that the others will hold their own. Have trust in your team to keep Shiratorizawa on their toes. You know them, you know they can hold their own and take some points. You’ve trained and practiced with them for a while now, Kei. You’ve seen their improvements and you’ve seen their hard times, have a little more trust in them. So stop worrying about what could happen while you’re not there and start thinking about what you’ll do when you get back, big head.”

There was a silence between the two of you as the medic room sign came into view. You sighed a little as you shrugged in your mind, perhaps Kei was too deep in his thoughts to care about your words, but there was only so much you could do to convince him to relax a little. But before you could slide open the door to the medic room, you felt a little tug on the back of your (akiteru’s) jacket.

Tsuki still looked down to the ground, but you could just about make out a small dust of pink on his cheeks, “thanks for that . . . y/n”

Your eyes widened a bit and you nearly made a move to pinch yourself because on the way to the medic room you must have died and went to heaven or aliens must have burst through the window and taken you to an alternate universe where your brother, Tsukishima fucking Kei, was thanking you.

You hands shook a little as you pulled Tsuki’s face down, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead and checking his body for other injuries, “What the fuck, are you sure it’s only your hand that’s injured? Did one of Ushiwaka’s spikes hit you in the head? I think you’re dying . . . yeah, that’s what it is. Maybe you should sit this game out Kei, you might start doing crazier things like tell me you love me or that I’m the best sister you could have asked for or-”

“OH, SHUT UP!”

You laughed as Tsuki pushed you into the medic room and ignored you as his hand was being bandaged up. Tsuki glared at you over his shoulder as you poked and prodded the back of his head and teased him further, but when he turned back around his glare softened.

Tsuki was grateful for your presence. He was thankful you were there to keep his head on his shoulders and make sure he stayed focused on what really mattered. And out of everyone in the world, Tsuki was glad you were his twin - his better half.

Not that’d he ever tell you.

- so yeah :)

- tl;dr tsukishima is a tsundere and secretly loves you ˙ ͜ʟ˙

#haikyuu #haikyū!!#haikyuu!!#tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanon #tsukishima headcanons #sibling!reader #tsukishima x twin!reader #tsukishima x sister!reader #fluff #haikyuu headcanons

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dreamyyang · 4 years ago

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hi bb hope yr doing well? can you do a 127 reaction where the reader tells them she needs to talk to them / tell them smth & she starts crying but it’s becos she’s confessing that she was in love w them? like she was nervous LOL and they comfort her ofc ehe smth fluffy,,???

surprisingly, I’m in a good mood lol. I hope you’re doing good as well ^^

god I haven’t written reactions in like five years shsjdhs I hope you like it, love. tysm for requesting 💖

summary: you're finally about to confess to your crush of god-knows-how-long but your nerves get the best of you.

pairing: nct 127 x reader

genres: fluff, humour, crushes to lovers

warnings: none except for a lot of cursing lol

word count: 0.7k

note: these reactions are based on my interpretation of the boys' personalities so I'm sorry if this disappoints you

requests are open

taeyong:

concerned bubu™

honestly thought you were gonna tell him you had a terminal illness or something

conducts an impromptu therapy session

“what’s been going on in your life?” “mhm, and how does that make you feel?”

when you finally manage to tell him that you like him he looks so done with you

“I like you too y/n but you didn’t have to cry tf”

taeil:

literally doesn’t know what to do/say

just wraps you in a hug and goes, “I promise you, nothing could ruin our friendship.”

which makes you cry harder bc holy fuck taeil is such a sweetheart :(

squeezes your hand and encourages you to continue speaking

“go on, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

gives you a big kiss and can’t stop smiling as he does it because he also has the fattest crush on you

johnny:

turns into your personal hypeman, “y/n, babe, you’re the baddest bitch alive and don’t you DARE let anyone tell you otherwise”

isn’t focused on what you’re trying to say, just wants you to feel better

so he’s completely thrown off-guard when he’s scooping out ice cream for you and you go, “so yeah...I have a huge crush on you”

ice cream is now on the floor

“BITCH I THOUGHT YOUR GRANDMA DIED OR SMTH”

��wait where are we going?” “ice cream parlour for our first date. you’re paying.”

yuta:

“just breathe, okay? take as much time as you need.”

ends up cancelling his plans bc he’s really worried

starts coming up with ways to hide the body cause he’s convinced you killed someone

honestly isn’t surprised when you confess, you were being so obvious these past few months

now he’s kinda mad cause he cancelled on father-son bonding time with shotaro

“MY POOR BABY IS GONNA THINK I HATE HIM”

doyoung:

half “noooo my lil baby please don’t cry” and half “well this is awkward”

he’d probably want to impress you and seem like really chivalrous and shit

holds your hand and comforts you or gives you his jacket if you guys are outside and it’s cold

is a bit awkward but really happy when you confess to him

expect to get teased constantly

“hi this is my s/o y/n, did you know they cried while confessing to me?”

jaehyun:

okay it’s so ironic that I just wrote a hurt/comfort fic w jae but pFFT this boy does nothing

gives you blank stare, and on a good day, he might even nod encouragingly

there’s a chance he’ll hold your hand, rub your back or do some action that’ll comfort you, but that’s it

jaehyun just strikes me as the type to be quiet and let you say what you have to before reacting

gives you a cute smile and a kiss on the cheek after the words, “I really like you” leave your mouth

he laughs, feeling relieved it wasn’t something bad and actually finds it cute when he thinks about it later

jungwoo:

like jae he just feels like he wouldn’t really say something aside from some words of encouragement

if he feels like you’re really upset he might try to make you laugh

“you don’t have to tell me right now”

can’t help but laugh at you when he finds out you were just nervous to confess

cuddles afterwards while watching your favourite movie/show to help you calm down (netflix and chill 🥴)

he might joke about it later but not as much as hyuck and doodoo

mark:

panics and gives you a fucking bro hug

awkward back patting and all

literally the most awkward interaction ever cause you’re too scared to confess and he’s too scared to do anything that might upset you further

“dude it’s all good, just like, chill bro. you know you can tell me anything bro”

you manage to stop crying but only cause you’re laughing at how terrified mark looks

you end up confessing to him mid laugh and honestly all he does is just stare at you

mark: *ten minutes later, telling jungwoo the whole thing* anyway so I think I have an s/o now idk I’m still very confused

haechan:

hyuck gives me “imma annoy you into feeling better” vibes

“stop doing that thing with your face you look ugly” “stfu I’m literally crying”

at some point you stop crying and start beating his ass with a pillow

“okay now that you’re back to being murderous instead of a depressed lil bitch what’s up?”

tries to act smooth when you tell him but he’s honestly ecstatic because he has liked you for literally the longest time

like doyoung, he will make fun of you 24/7. actually scratch that, he’s even worse than doyoung

let’s just say he’s lucky that he’s cute

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sovpologist · 3 years ago

Note

how do you think mara will react to crow? assuming they do meet which i’m honestly 100% sure they will (one of the writers hinted at it on her twitter 👀) i’m hoping they don’t make her out to be some kind of unreasonable bitch that tries to “steal” crow or some bs like that... she doesn’t strike me like that kind of person but some people (mostly mara haters) are saying they think she will do just that lol

im def hoping for some ingame interactions (even if it’s just ghost telling mara about crow and mara responding/reacting) but tbh id be pleased with even just a lore piece describing how they feel about each other/interacting!! and lol i def don’t think the writers will have mara try to “steal” crow… i’ve seen the meme comics abt her trying to do that so that crow can smugly turn her down and i just laugh because it’s so out of character for mara. first of all, she would never be so open about her manipulations and second of all, mara just doesn’t really care about people loving her like that. realistically i think they’ll have mara be very cold and distant towards crow, but here are my pipe dreams…..

i would love for a more nuanced take… it’s very understandable that to crow and the guardians faces she would be very dismissive and cold, bc that’s how she always is to the guardian as it’s her public queen persona, but i would love some lore from her perspective being more honest about how it’s hard for her to see him like that or how she misses her brother and regrets how their relationship turned out (bc we see a little bit of that in the marasenna before she “dies” and i would love to see it expanded upon). i would also love to see crow expressing that she seems familiar, since as someone pointed out awoken who are close to mara during their lifetimes and then are turned into guardians still have some sense of connection with her (like orin) which i find soooo fascinating. also since mara was dubiously friendly with orin and kept in contact with her even though she was a guardian and mara doesn’t really like guardians, i would love to see mara have a journey of gradual acceptance and go from being very cold and distant towards crow towards maybe accepting him and realizing he’s not so different from uldren and realizing that they could kind of have a second chance at their relationship. bc it’s shown in the marasenna that mara regrets how their relationship turned out and how distant they’ve become but basically thinks it’s just far too late to fix things so she gives up (bad mara!!!!). so this would be a perfect “do-over” and a clean slate and a chance for them to have a healthy friendship, even if they’ll probably never become as close as they once were as twins.

#long post #ask #but like i said these are like… my fondest wishes #what i would do if i was a writer for bungie and they gave me free reign #trying not to expect too much bc i like to be pleasantly surprised instead of disappointed #realistically i think she’ll just be cold and seemingly indifferent #which i will chalk up to her masking her true emotions 😈#i never lose bc i just interpret canon to suit my needs /s #mara sov

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ateezaligned · 4 years ago

Text

How OnlyOneOf portrayed queer relationships and dynamics in libidO, w a hint of good ol’ yearning

(disclaimer: this strictly about the mv and in no way I’m implying these dynamics are translated to real life and their friendships if u suggest that ill kick you, don’t ship real ppl romantically pls)

The storyline of Instinct pt. 1 tell us this album is focused on self-discovery and how young people repress their “urges”, but the way all three subplots play with this concept is super fascinating!

The KB/Yoojung situation (which is my favorite subplot!!): From my point of view, Yoojung and KB show a relationship that is just blossoming. The song starts with tying up Yoojung’s hands, he is being contained, and his lyrics are literally “I’m attracted for no reason”, now I looked up other translations besides the original and it also has to do with being ‘pulled’, like Yoojung is being pulled into this relationship for ‘no reason’, he thinks he needs one to fall in love with another man. Rationalizing your feelings is a way to separate yourself from them. Therefore, Yoojung plays the more hesitant part, he overthinks, his super ego policing strongly what he feels.

On the other hand, KB is seen initiating most of the physical contact between them, and he does it in a way that makes it easy for Yoojung to pull back if he doesn’t want it. KB is also always at least an arm away, inside a comfortable space for Yoojung to reach for him if he wants to. In their first scene of close contact, Yoojung is the one laying his head on KB’s shoulder, and he keeps control of their closeness throughout the whole video, despite KB breaking it with the soft touches we see, such as fixing Yoojung’s hair or putting his hand on his shoulder in the beach scene. And all this gentle-ness contrasts so well, bc we also see KB’s character initiating contact with others! He pulls Junji for a hug when both of them are shirtless and he does it so nonchalantly! It’s obvious he is okay with /more/, but he respects Yoojung’s boundaries and never pushes.

The scooter scene is great, bc we can see Yoojung hugging and pressing their thighs and putting his hands in the air, he feels more carefree, he was able to get past his own inhibitions and it’s so great to see.

So Yoojung and KB's is like a first relationship: you are stepping on eggshells, you don’t know what you’re doing or looking for. A lot of queer people start dating into adulthood, and even with previous ‘straight’ dating experience, everything is so incredibly new! And it’s great but also anxiety inducing and frustrating.

Then, there’s Rie and Junji. A thing I found incredibly interesting is that in every scene of them (except two) they’re already in contact. In the car they’re holding hands, and when they’re hugging and eating lollipops, and back to back in the basketball court, we don’t know who started it, but it doesn’t matter because Junji and Rie are equals and stand on the same ground of mutual love, respect and experience, they’re having fun and smiling at one another, even when they’re playing basketball face to face, their eyes are on each other and its playful and great. Rie has one of the best lyrics in the song that is “I trust youand I accept it”. Junji and Rie don’t need to fight their instincts, really, because they know everything is reciprocated and their libido (not as in sexual drive but as in life energy) is matched in the other, they have trust over everything else, and this can also be shown in the only scene where Rie lays his head on Junji’s back, he’s supporting himself on his partner and Junji accepts it because relationships aren’t only fun but also healing and giving someone a place to rest. And Junji does his part and bandages Rie’s wounds, which @henlex pointed out as a Achilles and Patroclus reference, being these basically the top tier of gay love and companionship, when Patroclus died (represented by Rie), Achilles dies avenging him, asking for their ashes to be mixed so they could be forever one. So yeah, let’s yearn for something like this gays.

Finally, the trio. They’re the first ones to have their solo scenes, and you can see Love in the bathtub, he is naked and exposed, playing with some rosemary leaves (yeah I went to someone and asked them if they recognised the plant leave me alone). Rosemary used to be given to Aphrodite bc it was used as an aphrodisiac. It also represents fidelity. Yeah. So Love is playing with fidelity, basically. Many thoughts were thought.

Then, Nine and Mill are a continuous contrast throughout the mv. While Nine is inside and laying on the floor, cozy and reading, Mill stands outside in the garden looking at the window. I’ve said it before but I think it’s really important the way Mill’s character portrays one of the harsher parts of queerness that is that “other-ness”. You’re just an observant, and you want in and to be yourself with your friends and participate in those rituals, but something inside you doesn’t allow you to. In here, though, is not just ‘I want to identify with my straight friends’ but ‘I want to be free like these other gays, why can’t I do it?’.

Nine and Love’s relationship doesn’t really show a lot of romantic moments, in fact, I can’t really think about something between them that was, intimate and sensual? yes, but not romantic. Which is completely okay. Sex is not something bad, and gay sex is constantly demonized. Casual sex is okay and sex with friends and whatever, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, sex is okay. So to me, Love and Nine are friends, the arm around the neck seemed casual and natural, they’re comfortable with each other, and they’re also comfortable with mill, as shown in the creek scene. They didn’t mind the audience (yeah this sounds kinky ik), both nine and love are pushing the boundaries, unlike kb. But pushing isn’t always wrong, per se.

Nine starts with the lyrics “leave it, libido, we’re like roots (…) mixing together with no rules”, while Love sings “don’t suppress it just accept it”. Both nine and love are clear with their intentions and instincts, their subconscious is not their enemy in any way, since both of them accept the relationship they have.

Meanwhile, Mill battles with his libido, but it’s not like Yoojung who has a partner that actually loves him, if Mill takes the chance and jumps, he doesn’t know where he is going to land. In the whole video, not even once Mill touches someone else, even if he desperately wants to (Yongsoo did a great acting work I’m still so amazed!!). The yearning and pining over Love, who pulls him in and gazes at him, is such a good concept, because even if Love is giving him all the signals that there is (he is with another boy openly, allows close contact and shows himself in front of mill), Mill will still doubt himself and what he is doing. Hesitation and all, he takes a leap of faith in that one scene where he approaches Nine and Love, and keeps eye contact.

Now here is where the controversial crotch grabbing scene comes, and both Love and Nine sing. They say they’re walking over shallow water, so it’s not risky, they’re not gonna drown, and there’s no one around and they just “keep walking”. They do their thing with no care of what others may think. But also, Nine asks “what you need?” And “why can’t you see the light over there?” now, maybe after the whole no compromises he did catch feelings for Love, but Love, playing with fidelity as previously stated, answers “I’m gonna go where I feel like going”.

And then we have Mill’s rap. He talks about how this ‘experience’ can’t be compared to anything else but it’s an experiment. Now I know a thing or two about downplaying queer experiences, it isn’t unusual for gay ppl to look at things our younger selves did and think ‘how did I even passed as straight?’. Mill, even after saying it was just this experiment, says “you’re already putting a period, that doesn’t end things”. So, my guess, since after that we don’t see them directly interacting unlike the other couples, is that it all fell apart. Love, having the upper hand in the whole dynamic, didn’t have actual romantic feelings for any of the other boys, and he left them hanging.

While a bit heartbreaking, I think it’s important to point out that queer relationships are just like straight ones, and sometimes they end up in ruins, and it’s okay and its part of growing and discovering oneself!

So yeah, that’s my interpretation. This is like 1500 words. A whole essay. Hyperfixation is a bitch. I need a girlfriend.

#onlyoneof #long post #isi rants #as always excuse my bad english #oh to have a gf so i didnt have to torture my followers w my babbling #if someone wants to give me their opinion and talk to me i will love them forever!!

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supercantaloupe · 4 years ago

Text

on Aelwyn Abernant, the Reformed Villain Squad, and redeeming teenage antagonists

an analysis on antagonist character development in Fantasy High. spoilers through sophomore year and (mildly so) the most recent roll20 oneshot. essay under the cut bc i am very long winded

the turnaround with Aelwyn in s2 is handled so well i cant get over it. she was such a major antagonist in the first season and just. despicable. she had no pathos. we hated this bitchy older sister who tried to kill Adaine and her friends and raise an evil dragon, and when she gets knocked on her ass and thrown in jail, we cheer.

and then s2 fucking starts saying “hey she’s in jail still if you’d like to look into that” and pursuing that thread ends up being almost as comedic an idea as it is a reluctant one; it’s also quickly shunted to the background as soon as more pressing leads present themselves, to the point where we almost forget about her until Adaine is kidnapped and then the first time you see her it’s just. viscerally upsetting.

she’s bad. she did evil. she got what she deserved.

but she already got what she deserved. last season.

she got her ass handed to her by a bunch of 14 year olds including her little sister (how embarrassing!). her plans were thwarted. she got punched in the face and made fun of. she already got her punishment.

it just……immediately registers as over-the-top Wrong to be told “hey, remember that antagonist you beat last season? she’s still being punished for that, except it’s way worse than just going to mumple.”

and there’s that reminder that like…this is a teenager. a child. who has been manipulated and abused. which is a really fascinating look at this character we used to see pretty much unilaterally as a one dimensional bitchy villain.

i mean we got a more in depth look at Penelope’s and Biz’s motivations in s1 (Penelope being the popular rich girl sorceress obviously hungry for power and the alllure of the high school clout that is being prom queen, but also we know that her having to turn on her best friend Sam Nightingale as part of the scheme was something she was reluctant and not happy to do; and Biz being that predatory incel creeper type dude besides just a nerd with computers and a lack of social graces). and they were as much willingly active in the plot as Aelwyn was. yet in s1 they really never do bother to explore Aelwyn’s motivations. i remember after watching s1 but before s2 that was one of my biggest lingering questions: why tf was Aelwyn involved?

well. she was manipulated and abused. her terrible parents raised her in an awful environment that conditioned her to Listen and Obey and Behave and Be Perfect, and then Kalina helped cinch the noose around her neck with threats and coersion into the KVS Kaper and the NMK crown debacle. she doesn’t freely choose any of it; she’s coerced, manipulated, abused.

and she already got justifiably punished for her bad actions in s1. the torture is almost literal overkill. it’s just……there’s this immediate turnaround in sympathy and view of the character. on first watch, it’s viscerally upsetting to see her getting so brutally punished for actions she already faced consequences for, and on rewatch, it makes your skin crawl to know she’s being tortured for terrible things she had little choice in carrying out. and tortured by some of the very same people who coerced her to behave terribly in the first place, to add insult to injury.

and it’s still fucking frustrating when they rescue her and her memory gets reset and she goes back to her parents because it’s like “well shit, she’s evil again, and we just wasted all that effort for nothing” but it’s also sad cause we know she’s running back to her abusers and she isn’t happy about it but doesn’t feel like she has a choice. and it’s sadder still that what eventually inevitably gets her to turn to good for good (i.e. away from her parents) is just. a full dissociative mental breakdown.

(but then she survives and it’s gonna be good!!! until Adaine dies in her fucking arms. which is. almost funny. she’s been through so much shit and that isn’t something that Brennan would have just. preplanned. like a written in plot point. no, that was just an unpredictable consequence of the battle. what a juicy fucking moment. she’s been through All That Shit™️ and has finally turned to fight for good and her sister just fully dies in front of her. yeowch)

and she turns out okay in the end. she comes out the other side alive and whole and supported by her sister and her friends, with the hope of a future and recovery. there is an acknowledgement that A) she can and will grow from her mistakes and damage, B) it’s going to be really hard, and C) the post-s2 one shots both prove that she’s doing okay now. hell, she has a whole squad now of other former-teenage-villains-turned-good-guys. she has friends now, Ragh and Zayn, with common ground, and a secret handshake and everything. they’ve all grown from the mistakes of their past into better, happier, healthier people

and about Zayn and Ragh. we’ve seen a lot of characters, protagonist and antagonist, teenage and adult, PC and NPC do some really fucked up shit and get punished for it. but why do they get happy endings? why are Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn the only members of the RVS and not someone else like Biz or Penelope or Dayne?

well, the latter two are dead by then; but then again, Biz and Ragh were also killed by the Bad Kids in s1, and subsequently resurrected. (Zayn died too, but was neither killed nor revived at the Bad Kids’ hands, so i’ll get to him in a sec.) and there are plenty of adult antagonists the Bad Kids face who are killed and left that way by the Bad Kids without second thought: Johnny Spells, Coach Daybreak, Captain Wicklaw, the Abernant parents (presuming Arianwen doesn’t survive in the forest for very long, which i doubt). why do some characters get second chances while others don’t?

in the case of Zayn, his death was pretty much out of the Bad Kids’ hands, and they later found out he was manipulated by Daybreak into being bad anyway because of his sad living situation. he was a pretty minor antagonist in the scheme of things, and when we re-meet him as a ghost in the s1 epilogue, he’s pretty obviously remorseful for his actions. and dying seems like a steep enough punishment to me for the shit he did to contribute to the KVX caper; returning as a ghost, free from the trappings of his unfortunate living life, he now has the room and freedom to grow into a better person.

in the cases of Daybreak, Spells, Wicklaw, and the Abernant parents: these are bad people who should know better. these are fully grown adults who actively choose to do evil. whether they think it’s the right thing to do or not (in Daybreak’s case), whether they think it will benefit them and don’t care about anyone else (in the Abernants’ case), or whether they don’t care much at all and are just doing shit because they feel like it (in the cases of Spells and Wicklaw), these are all adults who consciously make the decision to do terrible things and hurt other people. of course Johnny Spells, who is generally a punk thief and thug, is not on the same level of bad as Angwyn, who kidnaps and tortures his own daughters for political gain, but the point remains. these fuckers should know better. they’re grown ups. they had their chances to be good and they chose not to heed them. their minds are set on bad actions and they are a continued danger to other people as long as they are alive. when they die, the Bad Kids do their damndest to make sure it stays that way.

now, in the cases of Penelope and Dayne: these are teenagers who actively chose to participate in an evil plot. Penelope, Dayne, and Biz were all fully cognizant of what they were doing trying to raise KVX back to his former power. why? well, to some extent, we can only speculate. i suspect Penelope was just one of those Regina George bitches who is rich and popular and powerful and obsessed with power and popularity within high school as if that’s the end-all-be-all of existence (which, like, when you’re currently in high school, is a somewhat understandable worldview i think). Dayne being her boyfriend and a musclehead jock probably falls into a similar line of thinking. they are actively and willingly trying to cause harm, and teenager or not, must be stopped. they’re killed, anyway, during the Climactic Battle™️ anyhow; it’s not like the Bad Kids were going to gain anything at that point by keeping them alive.

now, Biz: Biz is the creepy Nice Guy incel type, sees woman as a prize he deserves to win, yadda yadda. he does, like Penelope and Dayne, actively choose to help KVX. there might be something to be said about his motivation the Bad Kids discover after the arcade battle by detecting his thoughts (that being to upload the captured maidens from the palimpsests to “call the shots” himself) is an altered memory; whether this was his original motivation from the start or not, i’m not sure. but the Bad Kids do kill him – and then resurrect him for important, time-sensitive information. and they beat it out of him – he gets two of his fucking fingers blown off. and Riz reattaches them once they have their info, and they realize his memory is altered. of course, the Bad Kids don’t know at this point that the altered memory was something he, Penelope, and Aelwyn had planned and agreed on and done to themselves, but this points to something important in my opinion: the Bad Kids, and the narrative/show as a whole by extension, acknowledge that external manipulation affects how guilty someone is in a crime.

which brings us to Ragh. Ragh, introduced from episode 1 as the meathead jock. Ragh the archetypical one-dimensional high school bully. Ragh who works with the harvestmen in effort to (ostensibly) end the world/provoke international war. Ragh, whose low intelligence but high loyalty and internalized homophobia led him to be fully swayed and blindly led by his coach and captain, who have actively chosen to do evil. Ragh who is killed in combat by the Bad Kids and resurrected for information, not Daybreak. Ragh, who the Bad Kids realize was probably not aware of exactly what he was being made to do and how bad it really was. Ragh, who by their kindness in sparing his life and directing him on a better path, becomes a well-rounded character and an active ally to the Bad Kids during and after prom, an invaluable companion during their quest in sophomore year, and overall a really good friend and person.

(it might also be worth considering the case of Jawbone here, too, who started out a very minor antagonist in a fight but ended up becoming a major NPC because the Bad Kids talked to him, found out he came from an unfortunate situation and set of circumstances, and showed him kindness in offering the school guidance counselor position, a kindness that isn’t really owed but given anyway and ends up changing his entire life for good.)

and then, Aelwyn, whose case is already discussed above. so, why is the RVS what it is, why them but not others?

if you’re familiar with Avatar: the Last Airbender, you’re probably familiar with Zuko’s character arc, and how it’s often lauded as a masterful example of developing a villain into a hero over the course of a narrative. what makes Zuko’s arc so well done and exceptional is that he starts out as a kid in a bad situation under the influence of bad adults seeking to do bad deeds, but he later realizes the error of those ways, actively removes himself from that situation despite the difficulty and danger in doing so, goes through a lot of shit and reflects on his past mistakes and learns from them, and then actively chooses to fight for good in the end with the help of close, trusted friends, found family.

this, i believe, is the same in the case of Fantasy High and its treatment of the RVS. its members, like Zuko, are all teenagers who came from shitty situations and were manipulated by evil adults to do bad. they are punished for their bad actions, and they learn from their errors and mistakes. with the kindness and help of good people, friends and chosen family, they are able to escape their abusers and bad situations and grow into their own people. and they actively choose to improve themselves with that help and fight for good.

Fantasy High, through the arcs of Jawbone, Zayn, Ragh, and especially Aelwyn, asserts that it is not your fault if you come from a bad situation and are forced to behave badly as a result. it does not pretend that you are absolved of any responsibility for those actions; quite the opposite, as even though they were externally manipulated into their evil actions, all of those mentioned characters face tangible consequences for their actions and later express remorse for their mistakes. but Fantasy High also asserts that even if you have made great mistakes in your past, even if you came from a bad situation beyond your control, even if you were manipulated and abused, with care and love and support and a hell of a lot of work and effort, you can improve your situation and find good, happiness, peace, you can thrive. evil adults who should know better don’t get redeemed. teenagers who aren’t coerced but actively choose evil don’t get redeemed. but abused kids deserve another shot at happiness. with enough work, and some love and help along the way, they can get there, even from the lowest imaginable point, from rock fucking buttom. it’s possible.

#fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 live #dimension 20 #fantasy high sophomore year #fantasy high freshman year #d20 #dimension 20 live spoilers #brennan lee mulligan #aelwyn abernant #zayn darkshadow #ragh barkrock #sasha reviews #hello tumblr. tonight i bring you a 2.3k word essay. tomorrow? who knows #i'll just throw myself into the nearest river if this doesn't show up in the tags this is fine #this one's for y'all in my notes i see u and i love u here's some content #the first half of this is mostly copy pasted from my discord ramblings #i didnt intend for this to be as long as it got but yknow. i never do and it always is #so thats why the first part of this is written differently from the rest of it lol

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loth-wolffe · 3 years ago

Note

About that Fox post: i absolutely love you for writing it, thank you for that

Also, for your consideration:

- Where were you during the zillo beast attack?

- throwing a surprise birthday party for him?

- going shopping together

- I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?

- what's the friendship with his brothers like?

- why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something

- on that note, does he get the dad genes from Jango?

- post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to

- Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)

many Fox thoughts today, many thoughts

sorry this is so long, I have little self control and a lots of love for fox. i love u so much for asking this and letting me explore what a life with fox would be like.

also I apologize for being a h*rny bitch and not controling myself, so nsfw thots are marked like this so if u wanna skip that's fine.

and uh, first I'm gonna answer the investigative journalist hc and base everything about this in that solely thought because that's a galaxy brain thing to say.

I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?

AHDJSJ I LOVE THIS. okay okay but I feel like because of this job this is exactly why you guys met, like you needed some info and you asked some shiny but he didn't know a thing and you were like "is there someone I can talk with about this?" and when he's about to reply, Fox enters in action and he's like "need anything?" but sO COCKY.

he hates journalists mostly because some of them treat the clones very badly and never talk about the casualties or that kind of stuff about war, right.

like, it would turn into this-- banter filled with sexual tension that would've ended up in a make out session if 1. fox didn't have that much of self control and two if he weren't wearing his bucket.

it'd be like

"listen man-"

"it's commander for you." a pause, "or sir."

or like

"i need to do other things if you don't mind."

"i can think of a few you could be doing right now." and the way your eyes run through his entire body, even if he's all covered in plastoid but damn you if he isn't the hottest man walking, and he actually shivers, and gulps, because it's not like he wasn't thinking about that either, pushing down your pants and railing you right then and there in that fucking filthy alley. he is well aware how his suddenly codpiece feels too tight, but you only smirk and go, "you know, like giving me the information I need?"

KDJSJ IMAGINE THE POWER. THE POSSIBILITIES.

it'd be so ridiculous, but you also caused this impression on him that when you turned away to go on your business he was dEVASTED, but he didn't want to let u know he actually liked you. He's stubborn, that man.

So by some miracle when you're investigating something, you guys run into each other bc he's on patrol or something and he's GIDDY. but also frozen in place bc he didn't think he would ever see you again, mostly because Coruscant is big and has too many people in it. and you're like

"ah, commander fox, isn't it?" and he quickly resumes to say something that shows how aNNOYED he pretends to be, but he ends up tagging alone because "these parts are not safe"

"oh?"

"you'd need protection."

and the smirk you have is sO ARROGANT because it's not your first rodeo.

"you wouldn't want to have a civvie getting killed or something on your watch now, would you?" and he clears his throat and nods sharply. and you give him this innocent eyes and bat your lashes, "my hero."

and if you think those words didn't do aNYTHING to him, you're mistaken u hear me, he's instantly hARD.

so anyways after that YOU ask him out, and he's like, stuttering and saying yes and all.

now some random thoughts on this magnificent hc.

• if it can't be himself, he would always have the men he trusts the most going on patrols around the zone you're around in case something happens.

• he lOVES when you rant about something new you discovered, and when he asks for mOre info bc he's a, how do you say chismoso?, he loves gossip??? anyways and you're like "nu huh, you gotta wait till tomorrow, foxie"

• he aLWAYS makes sure to read/see your job, either if you work for some newspaper, magazine, etc or if you're on the TV he nEVER misses it.

• if you work for the TV, his brothers are always like "fOX YOUR GIRL IS ON THE HOLONET LIKE RN!!!" and he gives them this bitch face because he kNOWS THANK YOU.

• alright but imagine going on dates with him and being like "did you know there was an investigation last year around this part that–?" ROMANCE AT ITS PEAK.

• if his shift ends before you even think of going home, he definitely joins you on your investigations.

Where were you during the zillo beast attack?

uhh, I think you'd be home, like maybe you turned in early and fox maybe didn't know, so he was almost in tears when he called you after the whole thing happened because he was so worried.

of course, during the attack, he tried to push the thought aside, bc I think all clones have this, uh, switch, that makes them not worry during missions that much? just like, have this thought here and there but nothing serious that would make them paralyzed and have a panic attack right there. but every second he thought of you and hoped you were alright.

unlike you, that were worried sick because you saw the chaos unfold, the troopers arriving in shuttles and the jedi doing whatever they were doing and you just heard destruction. you DID cried a bit and when fox called you, you cried even harder. and he was like "it's alright, I'm alright baby."

that night he hold you SO tight, whispering sweet nothings on your ear and never stopped kissing you once. you barely got any sleep because you were so afraid of waking up only to find out the other died on the attack and it was all a dream.

throwing a surprise birthday party for him?

AAAAAH THIS IS SO CUTE.

now, clones don't exactly have a birthday???? but he did all these nice things for your birthday (he and the boys baked you a cake that was sO UGLY and tasted a bit weird) so you thought you could surprise him too.

it's most likely he gives you the date when he graduated from Kamino or something and for all the years you're with him, you never miss his "birthday" at first you did something quiet, like a dinner at your place, bought him something nice, gave him a bath or something and spoiled the shit out of him.

so for the second year, you threw him a party in his office, made him this cake or whatever and decorated with red and white balloons and invited a few troopers that wanted to help you and he was stoic for a moment, but then you were like "hAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and hugged him so tight and he relaxed under your touch and whispered this small "thank you baby"

everyone congratulated him and he was a bit awkward but when they start telling all these stories of them and fox on the job, he starts to loosen up a bit, so while everyone is eating cake he hugs you from behind and chuckling lowly in your ear as he listens to his brothers.

he dOESNT like pda like I said but he forgets for a moment because he just loves you sO SO SO SO MUCH. it's also easier for him to whisper filthy things into your ear and mumble how good you are for him, that he doesn't deserve you, that he can't wait for everyone to leave cause he wants to have his present (you) nipping your earlobe and making u all hot and bothered and would def fuck you nice and hard on his desk. yup

going shopping together

imagine, jUST IMAGINE, he'd look like your personal bodyguard 😭😭 like, he'd be behind you carrying most of your bags and people would look at you wondering who are you, why are you sO important to have the commander of the Coruscant guard with you???

but like, you don't care and fox doesn't even notice, and he'd be so attentive, faking to be both annoyed and uninterested but he'd see this nice shirt or dress or whatever and grumble something like "you'd look good on this" i just-

and like when you pass by the lingerie store, dUDE, he'd make you model for him, him sitting like he fucking owns the place, getting harder and harder every time he sees you in a new pair of underwear and when you show off this cute little red set. damn.

if you go to the market or something, he'd always love to show you these things like "look at that" or just pull you towards this stall and you'd adORE to show him stuff like, "ohh, fox here try this" or "what you think about this?" and stuff like that.

what's the friendship with his brothers like?

i think it'd be very easy-going and light, they would tease you sometimes, but they really like you, mostly because they see fox isn't as stressed as before and they see how happy he is when around you.

they think he deserve it, to have somewhere where he's free and loved, so yeah.

they sometimes ask him about you and never miss a chance to say hi when you stop by the office.

the boys absolutely ADORE you.

why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something. does he get the dad genes from Jango?

HE WOULD AND HE DOES.

like, I think at first he'd be very hesitant when it comes to children, like he'd be nervous when you introduce him to your niece and when you ask him if he wants to hold her, he says a quick no and just prefers to watch you, heart feeling funny when you make faces at the little baby in your arms.

at some point he dOES hold her, with such care and a gentleness that makes your heart flutter, and he coos softly as she sleeps soundly in his arms, rocking her with a delicacy you thought impossible from such hard man, and when he looks at you his eyes shine with this flash of something you can quite place but makes your heart skip a beat and think of how much you'd love to have this, with him, a little family, a baby that has his curls and maybe your eyes, a mix of your skin color with his and maybe his stubbornness completed by your charisma. a perfect little thing for you two to hold and care and love.

he'd be such a good dad, but then again every clone would be the most fantastic dad bc it's literally in their genes.

if you have a nephew that is, u know, older but still a kiddie, like 5 or 6, the lil boy would be aMAZED by fox, he'd love him so much, like imagine, always asking for the commander, wanting to play with him, asking fox to carry him eVERYWHERE, and at first fox would be like, shy and uncertain and he wouldn't know how to act until he accepts the fact that this little boy really likes him and looks up to him and fox becomes The Cool Uncle™

post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to and Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)

well, in my post-war AU, clones get Rights™ and get paid and have vacations and stuff, sO, maybe you get to have Fox for a little more time and his schedule isn't as bad as it was during the war, so maybe after the war you get home to a nice dinner and fox using this silly apron and sometimes you come home early just so you can cook with him.

maybe you go on holidays to these nice places, going to the beach or the woods and finally settling somewhere quiet, start a family in this nice house or if you don't want kids then it's just the two of you and maybe a few pets.

i think the wedding would be officiated in Coruscant, of course, so his brothers and your fam can go, he'd definitely cry when he see you walking down the isle or when you put the ring on his finger and he'd be so so so happy, dancing with you all night, being so clingy because he's just Over the moon, y'know, kissing your cheeks and neck, whispering how lucky he is and how much he loves you, and how good you look, never leaving your side and always leaning over with pouty lips for you to kiss him.

when he proposed it was during one of your sweet, soft times with him, maybe in the aftertaste of your sexy times, as he holds you close to his chest, fingers running up and down your skin, as he stares at the ceiling and the question comes out as if he were talking about the weather, his heartbeat is slow and steady and it's one of those times he feels confident and sure.

you have talked about a future together, so he knows you'd say yes.

it's more a statement than a question, really.

"marry me." he would say, so quietly, almost a whisper. and when you look up you only find this beautiful emotion filling his eyes.

"what?" you just want to make sure you heard right, he'd smile softly, cup your cheek and as his thumb caresses your skin he'd whisper.

"will you marry me?"

you oBVIOUSLY say yes while ugly sobbing.

#ANYWAYS #i love fox #i love him your honor #I LOVE HIM #commander fox x reader #commander fox #headcanons #ted talks with ari

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yeahimaloser · 4 years ago

Text

Oh, To Be In Love 2

PART 2

Hawks x reader

This story will be about how you and your best friend of 5 years, pro hero Hawks, learn how to be in love with each other.

OMG!!! For real thank you all so much for liking my other Hawks X reader’s. As promised, here's part two of Oh, To Be In Love.

Here's the link to part 1 :)oh-to-be-in-love

ALSO THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!!!!! In this story Hawks picks up the reader and flies with them. I realize that some of the readers out there are plus sized, have a fear of flying, maybe some readers are disabled. But whatever the case I made a separate part were he doesn’t pick up the reader, I really want everyone who reads this to see themselves in the y/n. So this is the link!!! https://yeahimaloser.tumblr.com/post/633775712831225856/oh-to-be-in-love

No pronouns for the reader are used in this story, so feel free to read if you use any pronouns!!

Word count: 1722

Please enjoy!

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You were a total loser.

You had just called your best friend of 5 years, and also the person you were in love with, and told him about a guy you didn’t even want to go out with. Yet, you just wanted to see if he would say anything to deter you from going out with this other guy. But Hawks just gave you some friendly advice. You were expecting this, he was always so supportive of your life choices.

You groaned to yourself, God you hated this. Wondering what he really thought of you.

You scoffed at yourself, why would the number 2 pro hero ever want to go out with you? You two were just friends, nothing else.

But you just couldn’t help but be in love with him. Maybe you really were helpless.

You could recall when you first fell in love with the winged bastard…

“Damn,” you groaned to yourself. “I'm totally gonna be late.”

The whole start to your day totally sucked. Your alarm didn’t go off, then you realized you forgot to do the laundry the day before, and on top of that you didn’t have enough time to eat.

So there you were, running late on an empty stomach, stinky clothes and overall just really tired.

You sighed to yourself. Sometimes life was a bitch.

But then you saw a flash of red, and looked over to see Hawks standing only a few feet besides you. He gave you that exceedingly charming smile, “Need a lift?”

You and Hawks have been friends for around 3 years now, and yet he’s never taken you flying yet. Due to the hero licenseing law, he could only fly with you if it involved hero work.

You huffed, “Shouldn’t you be on patrol,” you asked in a snarky tone.

“Well,” Hawks said, striding over to you, “I’m on patrol, and also insanely bored. So, why don’t I keep you company.”

You shook your head at him, “Shouldn’t you be doing actual hero work?”

Hawks just chuckled at you, “I suppose, but hear me out,” his eyes seem to light up, “your a civilan, your in destress. So as a hero, I’ll escort you to your final destionation! The fact that we know eachother is just a bonus!”

You just smirked, rolling your eyes, “Whatever bird boy, let’s go then.”

Hawks groaned, “for the love of God, stop calling me that! It’s so annoying.”

You just giggled, “never.”

Hawks also did this kind of stuff for you. He just liked helping you out. You couldn’t decide if it was because of him being a hero, or if he was just a nice person.

“You know,” he siad in a seemingly careless tone, “I could always fly us there. I know your running late, so let me give you a lift.”

You looked him up and down skeptically, “Hmmm, and if I fall?”

Hawks just smiled at you, “I’ll just catch you.”

You rolled your eyes at his cheesy line, but checking the time you realized how late you really were.

You gave him a playful huff, “Fine, but I swear if you drop me, I will-”

But Hawks put his hands up, seemingly defending himself, “Wow there! I promise you, on my hero’s name I will not drop you.”

You gave him a snarky smile, “Fine birdboy, lets go.”

Hawks frowned at the nickname, “Will you ever stop calling me that?”

You giggled, “nope.”

Hawks just sighed, “Alright then… I’m gonna have to hold you.”

You just rolled your eyes, “Wow Hawks, I didn’t think about that. Don't make it weird, we’ve been friends for years.”

Hawks nodded. picking you up carefully, he positioned you bridal style in his arms. You held tightly onto his neck.

“Seriously, I’m a pro hero, I’m not gonna drop you,” he said laughing a little as well.

“Whatever, lets go I’m already so late.”

“Ohhh, someones snarky.”

But before you could retorte, he took off.

For all your complaining you really did trust Hawks, you knew he wouldn’t drop you. He was a pro hero after all. But being launched in the air would freak anyone out at first. You tried to shrink into Hawks, thinking maybe that would make you feel more safe. He seemed to pick up on this and gave you a reassuring squeeze.

At first, you were terrified. And also super mad, he took off with out telling you!

But then you realized how beautiful the world was from so high in the air. The sun seemed to make everything angelic. And everything looked so small, like you were watching the world from far in the clouds. And the wind. The wind didn’t feel harsh, in fact it felt inviting. The whole scene was enough to take your breath away.

You turned to tell Hawks how amazing it was, to tell you how thankful you were.

But your words died in your throat.

Hawks looked… like an angel.

He wasn’t looking at you, instead he was looking ahead, his expression was one you had never seen before. It was one of pure relaxation, and just prue freedom. The sunlight didn’t bounce off his face, it seemed like his face absorbed it. The way his face shone almost made you want to look away, and yet you couldn’t. His lips formed a purely happy smile. His hair looked beautiful, flowing in the wind and shining like the sun.

But his eyes.

It was his eyes that made your words die in your throat.

They seemed to shone with pure intensity, pure adoration, pure angelic beauty.

He looked so heavenly.

When he finally noticed you looking at him, he just gave you a smile.

A bright, stunning, beautiful smile that made your heart race and your face go red.

And it wasn’t just how he looked, it was his vibe too. He made you feel safe, like you could put your heart in his hand and he would protect it with his life. You realized how amazing your best friend really was. He was so calming and… warm. He just felt good.

And that's how you caught feelings for your best friend.

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You were so pathetic.

Of course you were gonna turn the other guy down. But your dumb brain thought that maybe, maybe there was a chance that Hawks would tell you no. That you should be with him and not this other guy. But he didn’t. And although you were loathed to admit it, you saw that coming.

When this guy told you about his feelings, you honestly didn’t really know what to say in the moment. But then you came up with this stupid plan, and here you are, hurt and alone.

Every time you even so much as thought of getting into a relationship with someone else you felt as though you couldn’t. Because you would just end up comparing them to him. No one could make you laugh as hard, no one could put you more at ease, no one was captivating enough to steal your attention.

You sighed, your back hitting the wall.

“I should probably go eat,” you said to yourself.

but just then your phone buzzed, your eyes widened at the I.D.

It was Hawks, sometimes you could swear the man was physic.

Hawks: hey you doing anything for lunch tomorrow??

You smiled but rolled your eyes, sometimes the man only thought with his stomach. You couldn’t count the amount of chicken he would buy.

You: probably not

You: why did you have something in mind birdboy??

Hawks: I literally only have wings

Hawks: I’m not a freaken bird

You giggled to yourself, Hawks seemed to never fail to make you laugh. Even when you felt like shit.

You: you sure about that bud

You: bc I could count the amount of bird shit you’ve done in my presence

Hawks: wow

Hawks: here I was about to ask you to go out for lunch tomorrow

Hawks: but I guess you don’t want a free meal ;)

This was something very regular between the two of you. Your lunch break matched up with his, so you two almost always ended up going out. He would also take you out to dinner on special occasions.

You: only if your paying

Hawks: wow y/n

Hawks: didn’t know you were a sell out

You just huffed.

You: last time I checked your the pro hero

You: your the one that has like an ass load of cash

You: so yeah

You: your paying

You: :)

Hawks. …

Hawks: ok I’ll give you that

Hawks: so you're down??

You bit your lip.

When you first realized your feelings for Hawks, you tried to push him away. You tired not hanging out with him so much. Trying to save yourself from feeling your heart ache inside.But it was so hard, you were like a moth and Hawks was your flame.

So, whenever he asked you to hang out, it was impossible for you to say no.

You: I’ll see you there :)

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Woooooow the dramaaaaa!

Ok but for real, I really enjoy writing the series! So I really hope you enjoy this too :)

I have the draft for part 3 so don’t worry, It will probably come soon. But again, with this series I like taking my time.

Thank you again!

#hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #mha keigo takami #bnha hawks #mha keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #mha fanfiction #keigo x reader #anime #takami keigo

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jpegjade · 4 years ago

Text

Confessions - Spencer Reid

frens and ferns, IM OUT OF SCHOOL FOR A MONTH. so here’s a new fic about something i’ve been struggling with lately...

summary: With emily gone, Spencer is having a hard time coping with her death. After a little prodding, he finds comfort in y/n, who is struggling with their own demons.

gender: neutral (i think. i tried not to point to any gender terms so hopefully i did okay at it bc i dont feel like proofreading.)

Warnings: talk of addiction but nothing more

———

Getting home from a case was always, hard on you. There were days when it was harder to get up in the morning because of the physical and emotional toll the job put on your body. Ever since that un-sub broke your ankle, everything has been even harder.

“Y/L/N, nice to see you back." Morgan said as you exited the elevator.

“You too, D." You said, plastering a fake smile on your face. In truth, you wished that you were off for one more week but the world wasn't that kind to you.

The doors to the elevator were slowly closing when you heard Spencer shuffling quickly toward your direction.

Before you had the chance to throw your arm in the way of the elevator sensors, Spencer's slender body slipped through.

You were a newer member to the team. Well... You were the only new member to the team. Being a replacement for agent Emily Prentiss, the team getting to know you was a process. Derek trained you so he already knew what you were like in action but this was the first case the rest of the team saw you on.

The silence in the elevator was loud and thick with anticipation. Spencer was looking over at you in quick glances when he wasn't staring at his converse.

“You didn't press a number." Spencer said, barely loud enough for you to hear.

"Oh... I guess that explains why if felt like I was going nowhere." You chuckled at your joke and winced when you met Dr. Reid's blank gaze.

"Do you..." He paused.

Spencer shook his head, clearing the thought from his mind. You continued staring but he dropped his gaze back to his shoes as if he hadn't started and dropped a question.

The elevator doors opened, showing an empty garage. The two of you gestured for the other to exit first but you ended up going first.

“Did you want to ask me something. Dr. Reid?" You said, watching him hesitate.

"Spencer." He said, ignoring the question. "My friends call me Spencer."

"I didn't think we were friends yet." You blankly. It wasn't meant to be funny but you couldn't help but smile.

“My team consists of my friends. As you are on my team, we're friends." Spencer's face never changed.

"Okay, Spencer." You looked at him. If you weren't so worried about getting home, you would've indulged in the moment. But all you wanted to do right now was be alone with some pizza and take the edge off from today.

"If that's all..." You tried to close the interaction with him by taking a few steps back but Spencer took just as many slow steps forward.

"Actually," Spencer began, "how do you do it?"

You faked a chuckle. "Do what?"

“Hide your addiction so well." Spencer was so pointblank sometimes.

"What are you talking about?" You tried to control the beads of sweat that threatened to pool.

"Everybody knows.” It's your ankle that started the painkillers and you couldn't stop. It took you away from the pain, the humiliation.

“How could you be so stupid as to get caught? You're even dumber for finding solice in the feeling when you've got all of this support around you? You've got a family who..." Spencer trailed off.

Your head was still reeling from the beginning of his statement. Everyone knew... But how could that be? It wasn't obvious but something was off about the distant look in Spencer's eyes. It was like he wasn't looking or talking to you. The anger laced in his tone wasn't for you...

“Spencer," you took a step towards him, "Are you talking about you?" Spencer stopped talking. You weren't used to seeing him so quiet.

"It's been a while." Spencer looked down at his converse. "Emily was there. When it got bad, I would cuddle up with her cat on her couch and try to forget the thoughts. She wouldn't make me feel like a burden at 2 a.m., when I was screaming myself awake. She always told me to stay as long as I needed, even when I was positive she was fed up with me. I wish I believed her. I wish I stayed." Spencer tapered off into silence, sniffling.

A pipe dripping. Footsteps in the stairwell. A car alarm chirping. All of those things sounded louder than they normally would. This wasn't Spencer cornering you. This was a confused and hurting boy that was begging for help. He just didn't know how to say what he needed right now.

“Do you..." You started but stopped because it didn't feel right.

Where do you start with someone who is just like you: broken, hurting, and alone.

How do you comfort someone without enabling them to do something destructive that might make everything worse?

How do you avoid hurting someone when all you wanted to do was hurt yourself, in a way.

"Do you like pancakes?" You asked, startling him out of his thoughts. "Pancakes? Sure." Spencer slowly lifted his head and shrugged.

You started walking to your car, motioning for Spencer to follow.

The car ride with Spencer was filled with silence. The whole time, you were thinking about ways to explain the situation to Spencer without making it worse. Spencer was trying to decide if talking to you was a good idea after all, considering you were taking him somewhere pancake related.

Pulling up to the run-down diner, you looked over at Spencer, who was staring out the window.

"I promise the pancakes are better than the place looks." You chuckled, getting Spencer's attention.

"I wasn't really worried about the taste of the pancakes..." Spencer trailed off.

"Good, I guess." You said, a little bit defeated.

You and Spencer walked into the diner, where you were greeted by a friendly older woman named Janice. She knew your name by heart, since you were a regular, and she seated you at your normal booth.

"Actually, would you mind seating us at 12? This is Spencer, the guy I've told you about..." You blushed, hoping you said everything low enough for Spencer not to notice. His mind was elsewhere so he wasn't listening as he normally would. A part of you was grateful for that.

Janice did a once-over at Spencer, softly grinning, and brought you to table 12.

Despite the outside looking dingy, the inside of the diner was cleaner than Spencer thought it would be. He wasn't really fond of booths but these weren't the pillow seat booths where children could hide things between the bottom seat and the backrest. This was the plastic seats that hurt your butt after a little while. But what he noticed that was different about the seating at the table was that one half was a booth and the other half consisted of two four-legged chairs.

"I know you don't like the germs in booth seats so I figured this would be a better option." You said, unable to meet his eyes.

Spencer was shocked as you slid into the booth seat, avoiding his eyes. Spencer pulled out his chair, temporarily distracted by the fact that he never mentioned how much he hates booth seats. You paid attention and noticed that about him. What else had you noticed?

"So..." Spencer folded his hands in his lap nervously.

"Let's order and then we'll talk." You said, trying to focus on the task at hand.

Placing your orders, you went with your usual breakfast at midnight and he just ordered the same thing you ordered.

"It'll be good, I promise." You said, giving him a small smile.

"You never answered my question." Spencer said, looking up at you.

"I know." You were getting nervous again. The nerves hadn't stopped since Spencer asked that question in the parking lot but you were trying really hard to find an answer to it.

"How do you do it?" Spencer asked again.

"Spencer, it's not that simple. I can't give you an answer like that over something so complex. Why do you want to know?" You asked, trying to focus on meeting his eyes.

Spencer's gaze was intense when he wanted it to be so you settled for staring at the tip of his nose.

"I'm struggling, y/n. Emily was... She was family to me. If Hotch is the dad, Rossi is the cool uncle, JJ is the mom, Derek is the older brother, and Emily is..." Spencer's voice caught in his throat. "Was the big sister. I lost a sister the day she died and I'm lost without her."

"Spencer, I'm so sorry..." You said, wanting to hug him.

A tear slipped down Spencer's face as you watched him frustratedly wipe it away.

"It's not fair, you know?" Spencer continued. "I survived the worst days of my life. I got to live after experiencing torture and she didn't do anything but fall in love with someone who wasn't..."

There was a moment of silence as you let Spencer get his feelings out. While the two of you said nothing, Janice brought your food and drinks to your table. She must have sensed the tension between you and Spencer because once you thanked her, she didn't hover or make additional conversation.

"It just hurts and I don't... I don't want to feel it. I just want to escape the constant pain and be happy again, just for a little while. It doesn't have to stay forever but I don't want this pain to hurt like this for now." Spencer cut into his pancakes, taking a bite. His face changed into something of contentment.

"I come here when I have a... I guess you could say craving." You started, "Carbs and sugar are good for the itching feeling you get when you really need a fix."

A moment passed as the two of you enjoyed the food in front of you. After downing half of your food, you decided to speak again.

"What's your drug of choice, if you don't mind me asking?" You quietly said, your eyes staying trained on the way your butterknife slowly cut into your pancakes.

"Dilaudid." Spencer was so upfront about it. You thought you would have to pull it out of him but he made your job easier.

"Ah... Opioids are a bitch to kick. Controlled substance so I won't ask how you got it but I understand it's not easy. There was this study we had to do in training. This one agent got captured and tortured and the BAU had to watch as he was drugged, tortured, and almost died... I guess you would know them, right?" You asked, trying to figure out which team member it was.

"That was me." Again, Spencer being upfront.

"Oh...Spencer, I'm so sorry... I didn't know." You were remorseful, you shouldn't have brought it up.

"That's where it began. I begged for him not to do it the first time, not wanting the drugs. But after that? After the torture and pain and... Everything? I craved that release. And even after he died, I just wanted to get away from all of the stress in life. Feel warmth in my veins, mentally zoning out for just long enough to reset my mind and be reminded that there was something good in the world..." Spencer looked over your shoulder but his eyes weren't fixed on a particular spot.

That's the thing about being an addict... You don't realize how much it hurts to be alive until the high sends you crashing back down. And, especially in our line of work, all you want is to stay up for as long as possible because the horrors of reality will tear you apart..." You finished.

Spencer's attention came back to you as you spoke, making you a little uncomfortable. You couldn't meet his eyes.

"I went to a couple meetings in the past." Spencer said, thinking about his experiences there. "I didn't feel like I belonged. I have a good life. Stable job. I'm fortunate enough to have a roof over my head. My mom is taken care of by capable people. I don't have to worry about anything. And the guys there? They're struggling in many cases. They're fighting for the things I take for granted and I didn't know how I could stand to be in the same room with my privileges and pretend like my problem was important..." Spencer trailed off.

"Spencer, your addiction is valid." You were finally able to look him in the eyes and emphasize your point.

"Is it, though?" Spencer stared back at you, a challenging tone laced his voice.

"It's not fun..." You started, unable to look at Spencer any longer. "I don't do it for fun or because I want to stay high. I don't do it for the feeling it gives me. I do it because I feel like I have to."

"What do you mean?" Spencer tilted his head like a puppy who was trying to understand a new word.

"After I broke my ankle, I was prescribed these... Off brand pills. They didn't really help unless I snorted them. And even then, they didn't help my ankle or me. So I found something stronger. A friend of mine is a doctor and when I go to see him, I'm able to... I guess manipulate him into giving me the good stuff, the stuff that makes my thoughts slow down, calms the voice, gives me a sense of peace and not this constant anxiety." You said, hands tapping the table.

"Oh..." Spencer said, taking in what you were saying.

"I'm an addict not for pleasure but for pain. And my struggle is no greater or lesser than yours." You said, fingers still tapping away. "I struggle, like you, except the difference is I'm newer to the team so they don't know what it's like to see me in my chaotic neutral state. What did you do when you had cravings before? You must have been clean for a couple years now, right?"

"I went to Emily... I always went to Emily. I play back these moments when I snapped at her for wanting to help and I wish I just..." Once again, Spencer's voice was caught in his throat.

"She was your safe space when you felt like you couldn't turn to anyone else." You said, understanding. "You don't have to be romantically inclined to have a safe space with someone. It's whomever you find solace in, for any reason under and over the sun."

"I wouldn't feel this way if she were here..." Spencer said, more to himself as if he were trying to be convincing.

"Spencer, you have to be honest with yourself. If it wasn't this, it would be something else. And that something else might not have landed you with someone who was willing to assist you in your recovery to stay clean." You said, finishing your pancakes.

"What?" Spencer did a double take. No one had ever offered to help him. He always had to be the first to make the move but even then, everyone was reluctant to take on the responsibility of Spencer.

"Isn't there an unspoken rule about addicts not being with each other?" Spencer asked, genuinely concerned.

He hoped not because he would love to have someone he could finally confide in, someone who wouldn't make him feel like a burden.

"No, that's about addicts not dating each other. But I think that as friends, we can understand each other in ways others cant. We can fight together. Have you notiiced the craving is gone, for the most part?" You asked, sure that Spencers single slice would be gone in a moment.

"Okay. Deal. We can confide in one another and maybe it'll help us get a grip on reality when we feel ourselves slipping.”

“Okay.”

—

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