#no advice is universal. in fact some spells actually want you to move a Lot and Quickly

[iscratchdoors]

my touhou tips for beginners and strugglers

try not to get pushed against the very bottom of the screen. advance up through gaps in the patterns instead of waiting for them to get to you

sometimes staying still is the best option. don't panic dodge just because you can't process what's coming at you, you're very likely to just slam yourself into a bullet

practice small movements. very very small movements. no smaller than that. the smallest you possibly can. it will come in handy. do not move more than you have to

IMPORTANT: when you're done playing, imagine those women kissing. this will make it worth it whether you win or lose

[oblivionbladetd]

The Fatal Flaw of Lily Orchards Entire Body of Work: Immersed like Wearin' Combat Boots on a Floor that has been Mopped at Some Point in the last 24 Hours.

I was saving this, but Lorch showed her whole ass again, so I moved it up.

Now, just the other day, I was playing Cyberpunk 2077. Despite being two dashes from the nearest fast travel station, I summoned up my personal favorite car and proceeded to cover 2/3rds of the map to my next job I felt like doing. Nothing really happened on the way there either. I was not bored, though. I was still having fun. I loved the subtle shifts in the environment, the sound design of the world, just existing in the wonderful world CDPR had made. I was immersed in the experience.

I bring that up because I am getting the feeling that Lily... Kinda just can't. Or, at the very least, doesn't 90% of the time. For even when she likes something, she doesn't seem to look very deep in it.

It goes all the way back to that Steven Universe video. A lot of stuff that is not directly plagiarized is her own very surface level takes. Like the Diamonds as Nazis comparison only works if you don't open your mind to the fact that they are inhuman beings that do actually need to be taught humanity, they don't have being reasonable people.exe on board, for gems are a made to purpose race. The show does even spell it out for you in a song, specifically What's the Use of Feeling Blue?, Yellow doesn't ever try and wave away depression, she's literally asking her "sister" what the point of emotions are as they were never made to ponder them until very recently. Because even they are purpose made Gems.

It becomes quite obvious in her fanfics. Niva gets to be measured in giga-Kyoshis because?... she actively despises the cultures that she'd need to fully internalize to use the bending styles with any level of efficiency? Sure fuck it, who cares about living breathing worlds when FACTS AND LOGIC say it's possible therefore she can! Losing childhoods to bloodbend without a full moon? Sounds like a skill issue, Fucko! There's no reverence, no respect, not even a token gesture of balance. It is possible so she can just do it despite it being straight up improbable.

Her streams and retrospective on pokemon even paint it as somebody that can’t be assed to just let themselves IN! Dragon Age is a very high fantasy game. The game wants you to be part of its world! Meanwhile, we have Lily charging an unwavering, perfectly straight line to the next set of end credits in each game, and from what I can tell of her pokemon retrospective does so with most rpgs. She made it sound like Gen 2 ends at the elite 4, and the other half of the game is a waste.

Now, despite these humongous paragraphs... in a vacuum, all this is fine. Like fuck it play how you want, watch how you feel is right, write what fucking ever. I can't be assed to stand watch as a holy arbiter of how to enjoy things. Though in a vacuum, this is just your everyman just chilling and doing their own thing...

Lily is, in her own words, a career critic. There are expectations I am not wrong for having. I do not expect the world from Lily, but it has to be asked what Lily actually adds to the conversation of Critique! She refuses to experience stories as a fantasy to get lost in. It's swimming advice from somebody who has never been in a body of water. Asking a social recluse how to best socialize. Asking the illiterate to write an award winning novel. Taking culinary tips from someone who would happily fucking starve if not for the chicken nugget and French fry combo. She likes to attack fandom all the time but probably couldn't comprehend being that genuinely invested in fucking anything.

I'd probably even feel bad for her if she wasn't such a vile human.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi!

I'm here for a pretty stupid thing actually but I've always found it annoying to do: summaries for fics. I never know how much is too little, how much is too much, or if what I'm putting is going to make people think “wow this sounds interesting” or “wow what a shit, keep scrolling”

Do you think it is better to make a summary as such, or include some lines from the story? Idk, any advice would be appreciated

Thanks for taking your time to read!

Hugss🥰

Hey Nonny!! *HUGS*

Ah, the bane of all writers... the blasted summary to describe your story in as little words as possible to get people interested. The LITERAL very last thing you have to do on a story. Always a fun time.

And it's daunting and can feel very overwhelming, because, just like in advertising (my professional background), you have a TINY window to grasp people's attention and make them WANT to click on your fic to read. As an avid reader of fanfic, I do have my own preferences on what I look for... but as a professional, I think I can offer some wisdom in this part here, for a change. PLEASE KNOW that this is different for EVERYONE! These are just some things I picked up in my 20 years in advertising, and applying it to – what is essentially – a "classifieds" board for stories.

Attention-Grabbing Title – Not PERTINENT, but the average reader is more likely to continue reading what you have to offer if your headline is interesting. Even one word ones can grab attention. Something whimsical or metaphorical to your story is always a winner.

Short and Concise Description / Call to Action – One to two sentences is an average attention span before someone gets bored and moves on to the next post. You need to entice someone into reading MORE of your summary in those first two sentences, if you have a long summary. Start your summary with the subject of the story. ie. "John has a problem: he's well hung." That example right there will entice someone to read your summary further.

Grammar Check your Summary – BECAUSE the summary is a representation of what's to come in your story, make sure you get that summary spell-checked or beta'd with your beta. It's a small thing, but it can help bring people in, and especially if you're trying to appeal to a language that you're unfamiliar with. Your beta can even help you refine the summary so it's more attention-grabbing.

Rate Your Story – "Not Rated" stories have a lesser chance of being read than something rated. Doesn't matter what it is, just put a rating there. At least, if people are doing a ratings filter, then you will show up in a search result.

If You're Writing a WiP, State the status of your story at the end of your summary. Many people such as myself don't want to start a WiP without the certainty that it will be done. Stating something like "Story is finished, new chapter every Friday" is a GREAT way to get engagement on your story, AND generate excitement and buzz for it from the day-oners. THEY are your advertisers. A LOT of people like the suspense of a week-to-week model... it's why syndicated television is still alive! A lot of our Fandom authors do their stories this way, working on chapters weeks in advance while posting chapters "approved". It gives YOU time to write and proof, while also having a Live / Active WiP Story that will keep people coming back.

So yeah, those are some tips from an advertising standpoint.

As a reader, though, my PERSONAL interest in a fic is based solely on these 4 things:

The Ship Tags – use "/" (slash for Slash-fiction) for romantic and sexual relationships, and "&" for platonic/friendships or non-sexual relationships. I, for a fact, DO filter stories by the ship tags FIRST, so I'm sure other people do too. Make sure that you use them.

The Story Tags – Ao3 has spoiled us with these!... List relevant tags, tropes, Universes, and genres that pertain to your story... these are what help get your story found in the search algorithm. Don't write "tumblr-style tags" (ie. "this story took way too long") into this field. It is a big turn off for many people (myself included), AND it fucks with the Ao3 search results. Use author notes or descriptions to write your Tumblr-style musings! The tags should ONLY contain content within your story that may appeal to people OR help trigger/content warn against stuff. Yes, I understand that many authors poo-poo on "spoilers in tags", but in all the years I have been reccing fics, I have NEVER ONCE been told that people don't like how meticulous I tag everything I rec. A LOT of people will use those tags to filter OUT stuff that they personally can't read or don't like. Apart from the summary, the Tags are VERY important, AND it can help you come up with a more interesting and short summary that doesn't need to be descriptive. Use the suggested tags that Ao3 offers when you start typing – these are tags, I believe, that have been used frequently on the site.

The Summary – I KNOW it is legit the worst thing to have to come up with, but your story has a higher chance of being read if you stick to writing a concise summary as I've pointed out above. Some people also may choose to use an interesting blurb from their stories as a preview, which some DON'T like, but it's honestly better than nothing. I know for a fact that I have skipped over stories that don't have SOMETHING in the summary box NOR any tags. I know this isn't what you want to hear, Lovely, but put something here, even if it's just "A literal fuck-tonne of porn without plot" (I give authors permission to steal that pun, LOL).

WiP or Not – This is one of those "gamble" things. As I mentioned above, some authors do a week-to-week advanced model for their story chapters, while others "post each chapter when done". The latter tends to wind up with stories in limbo. PERSONALLY, I don't read WiP's for the simple fact that I get confused REALLY easily on plot lines when I do – I like reading one whole story in one go. But PLEASE don't take this as the golden end-all/be-all. This is a personal preference, since I read a LOT of fics and I have very little time these days to do it. Some people love WiPs. A good way to indicate that you have a story plotted out, but is NOT a week-to-week model? Add the Chapter count, rather than leaving it as "?". People are more likely to follow your WiP WITH a chapter count, since it gives the illusion that you have a rough draft written out and you know how long it will be.

So yeah! I hope this helped you out a bit, Nonny. Sorry it's so long, but I thought with how long I've been reading fics and with how picky I am with fics, these tips would be helpful for you. Again, at the end of the day, it's ALWAYS up to personal preferences of the readers. And don't take it personally if you can't "get an audience" right away. Just be yourself, write because you LOVE writing, and you will have a fruitful and enjoyable time publishing your story!

If any experienced authors in the fandom want to add their two cents from a WRITER'S perspective, please do! <3

[blu-joons]

DATING NCT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Taeyong

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Taeyong loves to give you as much affection as possible, he cares a lot and can tell straight away what you need from him. He’ll hold you all night long if that’s what it takes some days to make sure that you’re smiling.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

You caught his eye when you walked into the local coffee shop with a friend, and he soon found himself staring across at you. Taeyong was scared to approach you and say hello, which definitely took you by surprise to begin with. But, when he asked for your number to take you out sometime, somehow you found yourself giving it over.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

He knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid of taking that next step with you. After getting to know you better, he knew that you liked him, and he knew that he liked you too. He wasn’t nervous to confess to you, he more excited than anything else to take that next step and start dating you properly. You loved how confident he was when it came to his confession, making sure he convinced you well enough that you were the one he wanted.

D ⇴ DATES

Taeyong loved to cook for you, he would often invite you round to the dorm so that he could show off the new recipes that he was trying out. He’d often end up having to shove the boys away as they were big fans of Taeyong’s cooking too. Your dates always had to be perfect as far as Taeyong was concerned, if any of the other members ever interrupted you, he’d make sure to scold them the following day at the studio when you weren’t around. Even though you’d assure him it was fine, he’d never let them get away with getting in the way.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

Being the leader, Taeyong knew that if he was going to start dating, he had to do it right. A lot of the other members looked up to him, so he wanted to make sure that he set the perfect example of how to handle a relationship as an idol. It was definitely a learning curve for him at the beginning, he didn’t want to ask anyone for help, but as things became more serious, he turned to his seniors for a bit of advice to make sure that he didn’t risk hurting you, or the group too, as that was the last thing that he wanted.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

As the leader, Taeyong was usually the one that ended up diffusing a situation if things were getting a bit heated between anyone. So, when it felt like the two of you were beginning to butt heads, then he would definitely stand up and quickly try and bring a halt to things before either of you let them escalate. He didn’t care how much you wanted to argue with him sometimes, when he knew that it wasn’t a good thing for either of you, he’d stop you straight away, usually hugging you tightly or pressing his lips to yours until you eventually admitted that it was pointless for the two of you to argue with each other.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Taeyong was more nervous for you to meet the members than his family, he couldn’t wait to introduce you to his family, and proudly show off the girl that had stolen his heart. He knew that his family would love you, as all they wanted was for him to be happy, so he made sure to comfort you before you got too nervous.

H ⇴ HOME

Having his own room in the dorm was definitely a huge advantage for you both. Taeyong saw no rush in moving out when the two of you were lucky enough to have your own space. Eventually, he knew he’d have to leave, but you were more than happy staying at the dorm with him and being around the boys too.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Taeyong was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ at the end of a promotion. He never understood how you managed to remain so supportive of him and his career, but at the end of it, he was desperate to show you just how thankful he was. At times, he didn’t know why you stuck around, but because of it, he knew that he loved you.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

He was confident enough in himself that he didn’t really feel the need to ever really get jealous of anyone else. Taeyong knew that he was yours, and if anyone ever wanted to challenge him on that, he’d definitely stand his ground. He loved that you got on so well with all the other members too, others would wonder if he really was as comfortable as he suggested with your friendship with the group, but he was more relieved than anything else that you all got along. He never saw any reason to start getting jealous.

K ⇴ KIDS

Taeyong was already the mum of the group, he did a great job of taking care of the boys, which often got you wondering about the future. Taeyong loved to joke that he’d had five years of practice with all of them for whenever the two of you had a family of your own, but as you loved to remind him, caring for grown adults was very different to caring for a needy baby. But he definitely was ready for whenever that time would be.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

The two of you could be heard laughing from the other side of the dorm most nights, the two of you shared a very similar sense of humour which tended to spell out trouble for everyone else. They all knew how cheeky the two of you were when you were together, but they loved seeing how much Taeyong let go whenever he was around you. Hearing your laughter would always put a smile on his face, it was infectious, and was the key to brightening up his day, no matter just how hard it might have been.

M ⇴ MISSING

Taeyong felt a duty as the leader to keep a straight face whenever he was on the road, even if he was missing you. It was only ever Taeil and Johnny who he would really open up to as they were the two that were elder than him, so he felt less of a need to protect the two of them. Even around you, he’d always make sure to keep a straight face and try and assure you that he was doing alright, but the second he hung up the phone or read through your texts, he’d definitely need a few moments to recompose himself before returning to the group, trying to push any thought of you to the back of his mind for a while.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

You tended to just call Taeyong, ‘tae,’ it would often just roll off your tongue whenever you were talking to him, it wasn’t even something you ended up thinking about after a while, it was just a habit for you.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Taeyong was obsessed with your hands, he loved to feel you holding onto him, or he loved to hold onto you by intertwining his hands in with your own.

P ⇴ PDA

He wasn’t afraid to be affectionate with you in public, but when he was, it would usually only be with subtle gestures. He knew as the leader he had a reputation to uphold, but he was also in love, and he didn’t care who knew about it. He could be a leader and a boyfriend in public without upsetting you or the fans.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

When he was planning your date nights, Taeyong would often ask you if there was a food you were particularly craving so that your date night could be perfect. Whatever you wanted, he always made sure to give it to you.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

In the back cupboard in his room, Taeyong actually ended up creating his own recipe book of all the things he knew that you enjoyed, so that he could always refer back to what you liked. If he was struggling for an idea to cook for you, his book of recipes was the perfect tool to remind himself of all the things that you liked so that date night could still go by perfectly without any hiccups or dodgy recipes.

S ⇴ SEX

Taeyong was definitely one to dominant when it came to intimacy, he was confident with his words and his actions, he knew that he could make you feel good, and of course, you trusted him always. At times, he could get a little rougher with you if his ego allowed it, but he’d always take the best care of you afterwards, giving you plenty of hugs and reassuring you that he loved you and always was going to look after you.

T ⇴ TEXTS

If he hadn’t from you in a while, Taeyong would usually text you just to check in and make sure you were alright. He’d often nag at you to keep in contact and make sure you gave him regular updates so he could ease his mind.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

He’d spent so much of his time caring for others, he enjoyed being the one that was cared for, for a change, with you. Whilst he also took the best care of you, knowing that he was your priority was incredibly comforting for him.

V ⇴ VACATION

When he had time away, Taeyong tended to prefer to just stay in Seoul, and the dorm, and just relax. He was logical and knew that in just a few days he didn’t have the time to be able to take you away so instead he’d create a little holiday for the two of you at the dorm so you could still feel like you were escaping.

W ⇴ WHINING

Taeyong didn’t usually whine, too many people whined around him when they needed something for him to do it back to you.

X ⇴ XXXXX

His kisses were very common, he loved to be able to kiss you whenever he had you in his arms or if you were moving around him. You’d often be able to hear groans around the dorm from the other boys as they watched Taeyong kiss you, usually making sure that it was nice and loud so that he knew everyone else could hear the two of you. He didn’t care what they had to say, he just loved being able to kiss you.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were the one take took care of him, which was all that he ever wanted.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

The two of you would fall asleep spooning every night, without fail. Taeyong loved the routine of falling asleep beside you, if you so much as moved, he’d always put you back in position and keep you there.

---

Masterlist

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

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******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

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******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 2x11: Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents... the reason for my next mental breakdown

I can't believe myself, honestly. Oversleeping on the one day of the week that I've got something exciting to wake up for? Oh well, I'm up now and I'd better go ahead and do this before my dashboard has showered me with spoilers. I mean, I have never really minded spoilers, but when it comes to this, somehow I do. Though I do wish something had forewarned me about last week's snap ending (get it, 'snap'... I'll see myself out). I'd better dive in already.

Yes, Mr Mazzara, that's what I've been saying for a while! Ok, maybe I haven't been very vocal about it, but it was in the foreground of my mind that they should have asked for Mr Mazzara's help re: transformation! I'm just glad he pointed it out. Not that he could have done much while he was busy playing therapist for his beloved Miss Jenn. Oh well.

Were those Ash and Ricky doing actual paired-up warmups? That is what they should have been doing for weeks now. That and having actual off-stage interactions, too. But I still subscribe to the theory that the gang had some good rehearsals off-screen — otherwise there's no way they could have been this good on stage as we saw in the previews. I said it last time and I'll say it again — not everything is for us to see.

Wow. The one time our leads are in unison, and it is about both being injured. The East High drama club must be cursed — they can't have one production run smoothly and without what can only be described as pure unbridled chaos.

They don't have any understudies? That explains some things... but also how? But also, I'm so happy Ashlyn is going on. No way she would have missed her first (first of many, right?) chance of being the lead because of some 'minor' injury.

Ricky and Nini still can't talk to each other properly. Oh well. Take your time. It's not like I care about this pairing anymore.

Did EJ just use the word 'dig'? Boy, the boy's got it baaaaaad. Also, what is it going to take for these two to realise they're in love? For all we know, they might have that big kiss we're all dreaming of and still be like 'nah, it's nothing, we're buddies'... give me a break! But I mean, at this point they might just be turning into Redlyn 2.0, where even a kiss doesn't define things. But hey, if they do follow in Redlyn's footsteps, that only means good things in their future, right?

What did that fake French git do to my boy Carlos? He's not supposed to look this inanimate until right before the climax of the play! Well, I mean, at least Seb serving as his interpreter means that Seb gets more lines for a bit. Too bad he can't go on for someone with more lines in the play.

Miss Jenn's 'words of inspiration' were less than inspired... yeah, this show's going down. Or it would, if it depended solely on her. Let's hope the kids do better. I mean, I know for a fact they will... at least for about 5 minutes of the thing. There is still room for things to go wrong and I'm scared.

Oh, my sweet boy... I wish I could jump in there and do something to help him feel less nervous. Thing is, if I were there, I'd probably be the most nervous of them all, even if I were playing Townsfolk #3 or something, and everyone's nervousness would rub off on me, and I would be making things worse instead of helping. So yeah, I'm kind of glad I'm not there.

Ahhhh who called it? @redlyncentral was it you? Ash got flowers for her Biggie! And there's a card whose contents we've yet to see. But that doesn't seem to be helping either. My sweet, sweet Reddy... I hope and pray he'll be alright.

Well this is awkward! Who told Mike to show up and shake everything up right now? Miss Jenn is literally on the brink of exploding, and now she's stuck in this completely unnecessary love triangle. She needs some space. And a quiet place to breathe, thanks Mr M for suggesting it.

'Did we forget to build a mote around the school or...' Yeah, you tell her, Rick! That girl whose name I never want to pronounce (because it makes me think of much nicer people and she's making me hate it) has no business being there. She's not... being given a redemption arc, is she now? Some people just don't deserve it. And if hating her is an unpopular opinion now, well, I never did care much about having popular opinions. I can live with that.

'Lily, scram!' Yes, thank you, Natalie! I've always wanted someone who would voice my thoughts in a way that the characters can hear them. Make this girl a main next season, won't you? (Just so we're crystal clear, I mean Natalie, not the other one.)

OMG Mr M is in the play! In a way... I love that!

I love, love, love the way they did the prologue. 'Repulsed [the prince makes an over-the-top gesture of repulsion] by her haggard appearance [the witch shows off her face to the audience]...' I love this. I would pay a lot for a chance to see their entire play, you know?

Oh dear, somebody give my boy Reddy some sort of... medical aid against all the throwing up! I've got a nice pill that helps me with my bad cases of motion sickness. Hey, so maybe I could have helped if I were there after all. Great, now I feel bad. But also, is all the throwing up an excuse on the writers' part to keep my boy off-screen for the majority of this episode? Because it's a really lame excuse.

Gina's 'Many questions' continues to be a mood. What exactly is Miss Jenn expecting from the kids? Last-minute adjustments? No way. This spells disaster.

Was Carlos on vocal rest or something? Because he shines like the star he is... despite all the very obvious nervousness backstage. I mean, I wouldn't have it any other way, but... oh well, I wouldn't say it's unrealistic. In my personal performing experience, the most nervous ones perform the best. (So... what is that saying for my boy Reddy? Good things only.)

I've already had the opportunity to geek out about Be Our Guest yesterday, but... I mean, just look at them! Carlos doesn't need actual candles to be on fire, Ashlyn is stealing the scene without any lines in it, Gina is absolutely gorgeous, and don't even get me started on EJ and Big Red looking at their girls in absolute awe! This is everything!

Aww, look at them! Gina and Ashlyn dancing together, I mean. They're sisters and it really shows. And I love them both so much.

Kourtney is an absolute show-stealer! I'm still upset about some casting choices (one of them is in this scene, doing his absolute best with the crumbs he has been given), but she is absolutely perfect. I think I'll rewind and watch this entire scene again before moving on with the rest of the episode.

I'd just like to point out that Frankie's voice in his lower register is everything!

'You absolutely dusted that stage'... Not EJ making a pun so punny even I could not have thought of it... boy is absolutely smitten!

Not me tearing up when Jordan Fisher appeared as Gina's brother... like, I knew it was happening — I knew it even before it was announced. And I still teared up because, well, it's emotional in-universe and out.

Awww, my boy Reddy is so in love with Ashlyn... I mean, who wouldn't be... but — not Ricky saying Lily might not be as mean as they thought. Especially not to Big Red of all people. To him, she was just as mean as they thought.

'Side hustle project in the south hallway'? Ooh, what is it, I want to know now!

Why do I feel like things are a bit too awkward between Kourtney and Howie? Not that I'm too invested in their relationship, but if it bothered me, imagine how it must feel for the stans.

No, Ash, you absolutely do not need to add any fancy riffs to the song! Especially not just because L... well, that girl did it. You're unique and lovely and a literal Disney princess inside and out. That girl? She's just a wolf in a sparkling golden dress.

Awww... Big Red literally lowers Ash's blood pressure! Those two are such an amazing couple! (Full disclosure, though, he kind of does the same for me too; the other night I had this horrible nightmare, and I woke up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, and then... ok, getting too personal there.) The point is, if even the fantasy of a Big Red hug makes me feel better, imagine what his actual presence would do for Ash at that moment. Where is my boy? Everyone seems to be looking for him.

Oh... guess they took my advice to give the poor boy something for his vomiting issue. Good for whoever thought of it.

And we're back to the Porter siblings... forgive me if I still can't wrap my head around calling Gina's brother Jamie. I don't know about you guys, but thanks to my lovely new friend Paz he will always be Theodore to me. I guess we can headcanon that as his middle name. Anyway, I love it that they made a joke about the hilarious height difference between him and Gina because, well, it's the only thing I can think about when I look at the two of them. It reminds me of me and my little cousin who has been taller than me since she was 10, and is still growing taller now at 13. But, I mean, it's not very hard to be taller than me, since I'm so, so short... ok, this is not about me. Moving on.

Was I the only one who actually laughed out loud at Ricky drinking from the bowl as the Beast? I mean, that part has always made me laugh in the original movie, but something about Ricky's take on it makes it even funnier.

Meanwhile, my girl Ash is absolutely killing it as Belle. Not me having the very same expression as Big Red while watching her... gosh, I love both of them so much! Also, no offence to the rest of the cast, but Julia really is the best vocalist out there. Out of all of them. I said what I said.

My apologies to Ricky, but his voice is just not it when it comes to playing the Beast. Still, with the other option being him putting on that fake deep voice from the audition, I'm glad he didn't.

Ahhhh Portwell nation you ok guys? Since we didn't get them singing Something There, this is very much the next best thing... and boy, is it good!

Those glances between Kourtney and Howie, on the other hand... what on Earth is happening there?

Ok, so you all know just how strongly I feel about Seb's casting as Chip, and yet... boy had one line and absolutely ate it up! Give him an actual singing role next time, Miss Jenn!

EJ being starstruck by Jamie not because he's a big music producer, but because he's Gina's brother... excuse me while I sob!

Excuse me, what!!!! 'A big brother figure'? Boy, this didn't turn out the way I thought it would... now I'm scared.

Way to ruin things, Jamie! And I don't even mean the fact that his name is not Theodore. It doesn't matter what his name is anymore. He might just have put a spanner in the works of Portwell, and they were just doing so well! Ugh, I'm so frustrated. I wish I'd never boarded — what did I call it — 'the majestic S.S. Portwell'. What if it doesn't set sail now?

And there goes another disappointment... Carlos' 'the orchestra hasn't vamped this much since Bop to the Top' line had nothing to do with Seblos, and everything to do with what might still be the downfall of this show. I am not ready.

No. Miss Jenn did not just say that. She did not just tell Ricky — who, may I remind you, not that anyone's forgotten, just fell off of a high place last episode — to 'jump off of something high'. I realise she's under all the pressure, but that is not an excuse. Well, at least she heard herself.

Oh my gods... Nini — well, Nina, actually — did not just call him 'Richard', did she? That's it, that's the point of no return. And well, I kind of wanted them to reach it.

Told you, didn't I? I told you that-girl-who-must-not-be-named was evil! I always follow my intuition and it has not once deceived me. Redeem that, if you can! Guess what? You can't. We've just reached another point of no return.

Wait, a bloody cliffhanger? I cannot handle this. I physically cannot handle this. If you need me, I'll be sitting on my bed in shock, trying to process everything that happened. I'll need a while to get a grip on myself.

[jj-5656]

Wanna Bet? With; Diego Hargreeves

A/N: Alright, it’s a long one folks! Took me just about all day but I was determined to get this one done. Special thanks to @jen8888​ for help with the prompt idea. I hope you all enjoy.

Warnings: Drinking, mild harassment, a LOT of cursing and✨sarcastic✨ Diego (grammar/spelling edits will be made later on) 

“C’mon, I can’t buy the big winner a drink? You had a hell of a fight.” 

“You promised a few drinks, actually. And the winner would have liked to go back to his room in the gym instead of walking two blocks over to this shit bar.”

“I appreciate the enthusiasm Di, truly inspiring.” You mutter out the final word as he opens the pub door, a wave of blurred chatter from it’s patrons and music from the old jukebox flood your senses. Diego doesn’t have the energy to rebuttal, seeing as you’ve had a battle of light-hearted sarcasm the entire walk here. The pair of you receive drunken cheers from a few of the patrons who must have bet on The infamous Kraken for tonight's fight. The brunette offers a curt nod, ushering you toward your regular seats in order to avoid any more attention. 

“Are we celebrating another victory or a loss?” Robin asks hesitantly from behind the counter, knowing by now two of her favorite regulars are here after a fight. 

“Victory.” You give her a smile as she places your beers in front of you, Diego rolling his eyes with a grin as you raise your bottle to meet his in celebration. 

“So, how’s it feel to be a local favorite? I’m here on even the quietest of night and there’s still talk about you, Kraken.” Robin gives a sly smirk to Diego, leaning over the bar as if to hear him better. Something ignites in you as they spark up conversation, and the not so subtle flirting on her part makes you take another swig after a slight scoff. Ignoring Diego’s curious side-eye towards you, a shot is in front of you as the pair is removed from your attention.

“Thought you could use a drink, on me of course.” In another ‘fuck you’ from the universe, there just has to be someone looking to get in your pants for a mere tequila sho-oh. He’s cute, and maybe the universe is not that much of a bitch after all. Not when you can feel Diego’s eyes burning into the handsome stranger as you offer your most charming smile.

“That obvious?” You both chuckle whilst clinking the small glasses together, not hesitating to down the clear liquid that burns some of the edge off.

“So, I kind of convinced my work buddies over there that I’m kick-ass at darts. And don’t get me wrong, I am. But maybe you could play a round or two with me to prove it?” You give him a once over as he speaks, glancing towards said friends who look to the pair of you expectantly. 

“Sure. No promises you’ll win though.” The words leave your mouth before Diego can even think to butt in, and the two of you are walking across the bar before he can even process what that cheese-ball has even said.

“Robin, who the fuck does that guy think he is?” He glares across the room as the woman laughs to herself whilst wiping the counter. Her smile growing when she observes the man angrily tracing the condensation on the rim of the cold bottle.

‘”I’m not sure y/n’s picked up on the fact that I play for the other team Diego. She’s probably a little pissed at me.”

Rob, what are you trying to say? Y/n has nothing against gay people-”

“Christ, Diego. Not that, I mean she’s probably confused our jokes for flirting. Man you’re lucky you’re pretty.” The tanned skin man narrows his eyes at her insult, scoffing before turning toward the couple grabbing the darts off of the board whilst lost in conversation. 

“Fuck you. And you know her and I are just friends. It’s not-we don’t...It’s not like that.”

“Right, so she just up and left to go play darts with some random douchey guy for fun? Let’s not pretend you’re not eyeing her every time she’s not looking Di. You’re practically pining over her every time I see you two.

“But you-”

“But what, I’m right? Besides, she likes you too dumbass. But you just sat here and talked to me for ten minutes while she watched.”

“Alright so, what do I do?”

“Diego, I’m not gonna hold your fucking hand while you write her a valentine. I have customers. You’ve never been one to back down from a fight right?”

“Right.”

“So go for it, knifeboy.”

               ___________________________________________

“Another double! Next round is on you then.” The man you now know as Henry grabs his darts off the board as you roll your eyes.

You prepare to throw, glancing incrudeously as he downs yet another shot with his friends. Looking over at you and muttering something that makes them all laugh. Your eyes focus back onto the board, eager to settle the head to head score and wipe that cocky smirk off his face. Quietly cursing yourself as you only earn an eight. 

“Lemme help.” He’s a bit too close for comfort when he utters the words from behind you, the strong smell of tequila informing you he’s had a bit too much to drink. “You need to square your feet, like this.” Your foot is kicked out into place by his own as his hands meet your hips, scruff tickling your neck when he tries to continue slurring advice into your ear. 

“Alright! Let’s just play the game.” Your face is stern when you spin around out of his grip, obviously uncomfortable with his sudden handsy demeanor. Diego rises from his stool across the bar, and you shoot him a look to signal you're fine, and quite honestly uninterested in his heroics. He grimaces when you do, slowly sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms in defiance.

“Whoa, whoa. Okay, no more helping out the competition then.” Henry snickers as he speaks, no doubt basking in the amusement he’s providing his co-workers. “How about we make it a bit more interesting. I’m pretty sure I can win here and-”

“Wanna bet?” You interrupt his rant with a challenging glare, skin getting hot with annoyance when his grin widens.

“Precisely. If you win, I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the night. Considering Rocky over there has been giving me a death stare this whole time.” His friends chuckle as he speaks, the pair of you glancing over at Diego who shifts in his seat before muttering something to Robin. “And if I win, let’s just say I won’t only be scoring on the board.” He eyes you at the end of his sentence, chest broadening at the ‘oohs’ from the childish group beside you.

Nice guy turned frat boy, why are you not surprised? Men are too predictable for their own good. Despite your now seething anger, you’ve never been one to back down from a challenge. Especially when sexism is at play.

“Fine. But just don’t get your hopes up. I’m assuming your right hand will do the most of the scoring tonight, an I’m not talking about the board either.” There’s another roar of hoots from the men at the table, other patrons giving them annoyed glances as they edge you both on.

                       -----------------------------------------------------

“25! I get a 50 next round and I win!” You cheer triumphantly, turning away from grabbing your darts off the board and bumping right into Henry’s chest. His face mere inches from yours as his hands grasp your waist once more. 

C’mon sweetheart, I know you want to come home with me. Why don’t we call it quits and I can get us a cab back t my apartment-”

“I’m going to win. And when I do, I’m leaving. Alone.” You pull out of his hold once more, side stepping away from him and only getting a few paces before you feel his large hand grasp your shoulder

“Don’t be like that bi-” He can’t even finish his sentence before you fell his hand suddenly leaving you as his body crashes against the wall. Your eyes trailing up his arm to see the sleeve of his jacket pinned against the dart board by a sharp, silvery blade. It’s tip buried into the red dot in the middle of the board and just barely missing the man’s wrist. The loud conversation has halted, and everyone in the bar stares expectantly at the three of you. Just great.

“Bullseye, she wins.” A familiar voice announces. Diego’s eyes are dark and filled with rage, fists clenched in an attempt to contain his anger as he eyes the man in front of him.

“What the fuck dude? Let the chick decide who she goes home wi-” Henry’s words are chocked to a stop once again when Diego’s on top of him in  flash. Forearm digging into his throat to catch the words about to leave his mouth. 

“You better watch your mouth pretty boy. Because next time, I wont miss.” The taller brunette seethes in challenge, Henry straightening up in a pathetic attempt to look more intimidating in his compromised position. 

“C’mon Di, he isn’t worth it.” You interrupt the testosterone battle with a huff, uncomfortable with the amount of eyes on the scene going down.

Diego's eyes move fiercely between you and the man under him, softening a bit when you enter his line of vision. Letting out a patronizing chuckle, he rips the knife from the board and backs away. Turning towards you with yes glimmering mischievously. And because Diego isn’t the least bit threatened by this douchebag, he let’s his guard down. Before you can warn him, Henry’s newly freed fist is in the air and bout to collide into Diego’s cheek. 

Instantly dodging the attempted blow, Diego lands a harsh strike into the blonde’s jaw. A few gasps from the other customers as Henry hits the ground with a thump. You smack your palm against your forehead as a round of cheers come from the men who had watched The Kraken’s fight earlier on, congratulating the man on yet another victory.

“Alright, that’s enough! You guys are out!” Robin forces her way through the groaning crowd as she motions the group of you to the door. Simply raising her finger at the Henry’s friends who are half holding him up from the floor and shouting words of protest. 

“Ah-ah! No talking, now I have to mop your friends blood of the floor because he’s too bitch to respect an uninterested woman’s rejection. Get that asshole out of here, I don’t want to see him or any of you incels again.” She finishes sternly, rolling her eyes as the group shuffles out of the bar. The other patrons have died down now, back to conversing about other things as if nothings happened. 

“We’re so sorry Robin I-”

“Nonsense y/n, it wasn’t your fault. Unfortunately, Conor McGregor here needs to go too.” Robin interrupts with a glare towards a very giddy Diego.

“Wha- Robin! Did you see that shit? I just knocked his ass out cold!” 

“Yeah I saw that shit, and now I have to clean it. You know the rules Diego, no knives and obviously no fighting in my bar! Now go, it’s not like you two wont be here to bother me next weekend anyway.” Albeit a bt pissed, the woman nods you two off with a knowing smile as you exit. “Bob, go get me the mop!”

Her shouts are drowned out when the door shuts and you’re met with the brisk night air. The only thing illuminating the sidewalk of the city being the streetlights above you. You start walking back towards the gym, eager to get to your car and go home. Rolling your eyes when you hear Diego’s footsteps quicken to catch up to you. 

“What, you’re mad at me now?” He teases from beside you, eyebrows furrowing when his elbow jab does nothing in attempt to get you to acknowledge him. You quicken you pace, trying to take deep breathes of the cold air in order to calm you. “Let me try then. Hey Diego, my best friend who enjoys the company of just about nobody but me, who is also really badass and fights crime, thank you for saving my ass back there!” He finishes his teasing when you whip around on your heel to face him. Your eyes wide in bewilderment as he stops short to avoid crashing into you.

“Th-Thank you? You want me to thank you for the shit you pulled back there!” You’re shouting now, and thank god it’s so late so this wouldn’t be the second public scene you two have caused tonight.

“Um...Yes?” He’s a bit offended now, short temper no doubt fired up from your sudden outburst.

“Okay, sure. Thanks Diego for causing a huge fucking scene for a situation I could have handled.”

“If you didn’t notice, that asshole had an iron grip on you. He could have hurt you y/n!” 

“You don’t go throwing knives at people just because they’re handsy Diego. I had the situation under control. I was getting out of there before you had to swoop in with your whole hero act!” The brown eyes looking into yours widen at your words, before turning dark and cold as they had at the bar. 

“Fine, then I guess I’ll let you walk yourself home since your’re so fucking capable!”

“Fine!” 

“Fine!” In true Hargreeves fashion, Diego shouts the last word before storming off in the other direction. You turn around once more, wrapping your arms around yourself in order to keep warm. The quiet of the night is a little creepy, but your apartment building isn’t far from here. 

It’s only been a couple minutes since you two have separated, but somehow the streets feel darker without Diego. If it were a normal night, you’d be pestering him over something while he pretends to get annoyed. And you can;t help but feel a pang of guilt when you picture him walking alone, head down as he rethinks tonight over and over. But your anger is valid right? He spends half the night flirting with Robin, and then decides to get all protective? It’s bullshit, and the constant mixed signals make your head spin and heart ache. It’s you’re fault for falling for him though, and directing all your anger and hurt toward him isn’t fair. On the other hand, did he not constantly send messages that he might be feeling the same way?

Your heart sinks when you pick up on a steady pair of footsteps behind you. Testing the stranger, you walk a bit faster, beginning to panic when they do too. A steady hand grips your mace as you continue walking, knowing your apartment isn’t far and if anything you can knock on Mr. Brown’s door. Recalling a time when he told you if you were ever worried, he’d be ready with his shotgun to ‘kick the shit out of them bastards’. But it’s late, and who knows if he’ll hear you in time. 

A hand on your shoulder rips you from your thoughts. Letting out a yelp, you swing your arm back so it knocks theirs away, giving a swift kick to their groin and sticking out your mace in preparation to spray and sprint. 

A guttural groan escapes the man on the floor, who shoots up a gloved hand to halt any further assault from you. 

J-Jesus Christ it’s me! It’s me y/n!” Diego manages to squeak out between wheezed coughs. 

Your hand smacks against your chest as you let out a sigh of relief. “Fuck Diego, you almost gave me a heart attack!”

“You know, I’d give a shit if I wasn’t worrying whether or not I’m able to have children.” He clutches his groin as he speaks, shooting you a glare when you kneel down beside him, hand over your mouth to stifle your giggles. “Are you seriously laughing right now? I’m pretty sure my dick just shot up into my stomach.” 

“I-I’m so sorry. Why’d you sneak up on me like that!” 

“I didn’t want you to walk home alone. Too dark out. But, I guess the reinforcement weren’t needed, seeing as you’ve just sterilized me.” He lets out a small chuckle when you laugh gets louder.

“I told you I could handle myself.” You offer your hand to pull him up, rolling your eyes when he lets out another dramatic yelp.

“I taught you that block, actually.” 

“Touche. Still up for walking me home?” 

                                  -------------------------------

You’re on the couch now, takeout strewn about over your coffee table as the tv plays quietly in front of you. Avatar plays on the screen, and although Diego always teases you for enjoying a kid’s show so much, he’s fully invested in every episode.

Not now, though. You can feel his eyes on you, and shift uncomfortably before turning your head to look at him.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just...I don’t know, forget it.” He shakes his head as he speaks, taking a swig f beer before peering over at you again. In an attempt to ignore it, you try to focus on the tv instead. But he’s still staring, and you can’t help but become increasingly annoyed at his behavior.

“Diego, what is it?” You give him your full attention, shifting so you’re facing his side of the couch. 

“Well, we never really talked about tonight.”

“Am I dreaming, or is Diego Hargreeves trying to have an adult discussion about a confrontation right now?”

“I’m serious y/n. Y-you haven’t been acting like yourself lately?”

“How have I been acting like then?” Your brows furrow defensively, and you straighten up as he replies.

“Like that! Like I’m I don’t know...Pissing you off all the time! I just want to know what a did wrong. And you do that little thing with your nose where you scrunch it up and stuff. And..Well, it’s pretty cute but you always get angr-”

“No! Don’t even say that shit Di. You know why I’ve been pissy lately? Because, you’re always saying stuff like that! And then we both pretend it doesn’t happen!” You stand up as you argue, beginning to pace around the room as if to better explain yourself. 

“Say what?”

“You, you just say stuff that makes my stomach feel like flippy and I don’t know how to handle it.” 

“Flippy?”

“Yeah, and then I have to ignore it because I know you don’t mean it and-”

“Don’t mean it?”

“Would you quit repeating everything I say!”

“Sorry, you’re confusing me!”

“NO, nope . You are the one that’s confusing Diego. I get it, we flirt as a joke or whatever. But it’s not really a joke to me anymore, and I don’t know how to feel about all the shit I’m...Feeling, and I’m so confused all the time! One minute I think you might actually be interested in me and the next I’m beating myself up for ever thinking you would. Because we’re friends, you’re my best friend. I c-can’t be without you and then when all these emotions bottle up I get angry and take it out on you. I Love you! Alright, is that what you wanted to fucking hear?” Your hands fly up to your temples at the end of your spiel, rubbing them in an attempt to figure out whether tonight has all been one big nightmare. The living room grows quite, and you continue to stalk around the room as you await a response. 

“Can you say something lease? Or just like, go if I totally just fucked up our entire friendship.”

“I-you, well...You never told me that.” He stutters out quietly, eyes trained on you as you let out a cynical scoff.

“Yeah, well now it’s out there.”

“You like me! I mean, you totally have a crush on me!” He cheers with a laugh, not seeming to notice your look of pure confusion. 

“Great, thanks for the memo then. You know, you could’ve us let me down easy but hooray y/n just made a complete fool of herself!” You stutter to a stop when you realize he’s standing in front of you. A shit eating grin you so rarely get to see from the typically stoic man adorning his tanned face as he admires you. 

In a pathetic attempt to scrounge up what little dignity you have left, your eyes dart around the room to spark up some sort of conversation. “Oh, they finally made it to the Southern Air Temple...Can we-can we just continue watching and pretend like nothing happened? Because that’s totally cool with me-”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Wh-what?”

“Can I kiss you?” Diego repeats, softer this time as he steps even closer. Hands going around your waist as he looks for a response expectantly. You want to move out of his grip, unaccustomed to the way his warm hands take your skin tingle.

“What’s wrong? Do I make you nervous?” His eyebrows raise as he utters out the challenge, a cocky smirk plastered on his lips when your eyes finally meet his. 

“N-no.” You can feel his breath against your skin, and damn it if that electric shock feeling doesn’t stop shooting from his hands you might just-fuck it.

You collide your lips with his, eager to get that stupid smirk off his face as his stance slightly falters. You’ve caught him off guard, and you’ll be damned if he thinks you’re the only one to get bashful from the other. 

You pull away slowly, biting down on your lip gently and quickly pulling back when he attempts to pull you closer for more. You stay close though, and let out a soft chuckle when he grunts at your teasing. 

“Hey, don’t get arrogant on me now. I had you all flustered just a second ago. I have the upper-hand here.

“Really Hargreeves? Wanna bet?”

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember 2020 Master List

Now that I have awoken from my post-Hypnovember nap, it’s time to post my 2020 Master List! in comparison to last year’s entries, a lot of stories this year delved more into either more intense kinks or more of my intense personal feelings than my stories last year did. Sometimes writing stories is a bit like reading my own tarot cards in that way- letting an ambiguous prompt roll around in my subconscious and sometimes being surprised or amused or even slightly unsettled by what it turns into. I hope you will find something in this group of works that soothes you, that turns you on, that intrigues you, and that most of all provokes a response. If you do, I’d absolutely love to hear about it. :)

Copying one of my favorite @jukeboxemcsa  ideas, I’ve also included a HypnoBS rating for every work about how realistic the hypnosis/mind control is in each work (IMHO). In this ranking, 1 means to is absolute bullshit and 5 is a normal Tuesday night (for someone).

Icons- 📰- story. 🔊- audio 💻- technology 😍- romantic 🌈- queer 😴- regular ole’ hypnosis 🛀- brainwashing and/or character in tub 👻- spooky 🐈- at least one happy pussy ❓- bad or reeeally questionable consent 👨‍🔬 -science! 🤪 -crackfic #-#sceneideas 😭-feeeels ⭐-author’s personal favorites

Day 1: Instant M/f 📰 😴🐈#😭

Choice quote: “Sean chuckled as he moved in closer. And closer. ‘I thought you wanted to know what it was like to be hypnotized, sweetheart. To follow suggestions? To have someone else take control? It’s not real control if I’m doing something you already wanted, now is it?”

HypnoBS- 5. Read the whole thing but- IMHO totally plausible.

Fun Fact- These are the same characters from last year’s Day 5: Poison.

Day 2: Coils F/m 📰 😴 💻 👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Daniel rolled his eyes. ‘I bet you could hypnotize me with a bar of soap if you wanted to. That still doesn’t make me like spirals.’”

HypnoBS- 5. Maybe 4 because I don’t love the induction but- maybe you will? Also- oh no poor Daniel is so conditioned that he’ll go under to anything Jamie does! How hard for him. :(

Day 3: Staged Hypnosis (Stage) F/f 📰 😴 🌈 🛀 ❓

Choice quote: “No one needed to know she was a plant. A confederate. A stooge.”

HypnoBS- 1.5. This would collapse like a house of cards. It’s a fun concept though.

Day 4: Psychic F/nb 📰 😴 🌈 😍 👨‍🔬⭐

Choice quote: “Something about the hypnosis- being in and out of each other’s heads and in and out of each other’s bodies all weekend- made her feel like she and Tris had merged in some way. Like there was a new, deeper understanding between them now- a telepathic bond.”

HypnoBS- 5. Maybe a 4.5 if you’re recognizing some nre magical thinking here. But- I’ve definitely had this feeling and this kind of experience- and I hope some of you have had it/will have it as well. :)

Day 5: Visor F/multiple 📰 😴 🛀 💻 👨‍🔬 🤪#

Choice quote: “Besides, everyone knew stormtroopers were kinky.”

HypnoBS- 4.5. Some of the exact details would need to be changed and thought through more thoroughly, but I absolutely believe you could do something like this if you wanted to. (And if you do, you definitely have to let me know. I know some of y’all out there go to Dragoncon.)

Day 6: Pendulum F/y’all 🔊😴 👨‍🔬

Choice quote: This is a trick I first learned from a science book I read in 5th grade.

HypnoBS- 5. The real thing.

Day 7: Song Aliens/the human race 📰 💻 👻❓

Choice quote: “Anna didn’t know what she was singing.”

HypnoBS- 1. I hope. Why do the song based stories always turn out so creepy?

Day 8: Performance unknown/f 📰 👻❓😴# ⭐

Choice quote: “With each snap, the gears inside her doll body click click click clicked into action. She turned, jerky but graceful. She was determined to do well. “

HypnoBS- 5 (if part of a fearplay scene, which is my headcanon for this story)

Day 9: (Hot Under the) Collar F/f 📰 😴🛀🌈 🐈#⭐

Choice quote: “She was wearing her collar. She was aroused. It was as simple as that.“

HypnoBS- 5 With time, I think you could do this. Maybe a 4.5 for the 30 minutes thing- that might lead to a bit too much cramping.

Day 10: Gentle 🔊😴

Choice quote: “Just look into the spiral....”

HypnoBS- 5. I hope.

Day 11: Summoning Sappho (Summon) eventual F/f I hope 📰 😴🌈 🤪

Choice quote: “In fact, the only ideas left to try on their brainstorming board included ‘sexy alien invasion’, ‘sexy witches’, and this. Shockingly, at this point a sexy seance seemed the most practical.”

HypnoBS-1. Although stay tuned for Femme Flirt 2021.

Day 12: Plants unknown/m 📰 😴🛀#

Choice quote: “If he focused, Chris could feel that new suggestion also growing stronger and stronger, becoming more and more firmly rooted inside of him. “

HypnoBS- 5, with the right person

Day 13: Artifact F/f 📰 😴🛀🌈 👨‍🔬 ❓

Choice quote: “She fumbled through the contents when suddenly her hand found something unexpected from her past.A red lipstick tube. An artifact.”

HypnoBS- 4? There’s different ways of reading this story, but my headcanon is that the consent here is pretty dubious.

Day 14: Tail M/f 📰 😴🛀❓👻#

Choice quote: “It was no use. She could sense her tail was still behind her. She couldn’t shake him. She should have known he’d come for her.“

HypnoBS- Let’s say 2. Although I think this could work really well for a fearplay scene in an appropriate setting (where someone wasn’t actually left unmonitored with extreme paranoia).

Day 15: Serve F/m 📰 😴#⭐

Choice quote: “He had put his heart and soul into the dish.They were hers now.”

HypnoBS- As a scene? 5 (depending on the person). As a long term effect, much lower.

Day 16: Memory F/f  📰 😴 🛀🌈 😍

Choice quote: “Mesmera waited for Galaxy Girl at the door.”

HypnoBS- 4, you could do an induction along these lines but -1 for psychic powers

Fun Fact: These characters were originally featured in last year’s Day 19: Hideout. 

Day 17: Toy F/f m/f 📰 😴 🛀🌈🐈 #

Choice quote: “Dolly hated to have Bad Manners. “

HypnoBS- 4.5. This is pretty deep into headspace, but I wouldn’t want to rule it out for the right person.

Day 18: Monster m/f 📰 😴 ❓😭⭐

Choice quote: “That kind of stuff wasn’t fair to think about here. It wasn’t everyone else’s fault that she was so warped.”

HypnoBS- 5. Ouch my heart. Poor young!Ella.

Day 19: Eyes M/m 📰 😴 🌈 😍

Choice quote: “Scott looked into his partner Brandon’s eyes. Brandon had hypnotized him so many times over the years in so many ways but- this was one of Scott’s favorites.”

HypnoBS- 5. Especially in a long term relationship like this. (In my pretend Hypnovember universe, these guys are some of the patriarchs of the hypnokinky convention scene and absolutely wonderful advice givers.)

Fun fact: The story of how these characters originally got together is in last year’s Day 12: Stage story. 

Day 20: Possession F/f  📰 😴 🌈 😍😭

Choice Quote- “Things that were hard to do for herself during these times became easier to do as something owned by Thadra. Taking a shower. Getting up and going to bed at the right time. Making sure she ran once a day. Making sure she ate.”

HypnoBS- Errr....4 trending upwards. Although for this to be safe and healthy you’d really need to be checking in with a therapist and working on your continuing mental health at the same time (IMHO). Please do not get relationship advice from my porn.

Day 21: Snaps 🔊😴👨‍🔬

Choice Quote- “No, that one was up.”

HypnoBS- 5. I’m not sure quite how this translates to audio but this is the kind of shenanigans I pull with friends all of the time.

Day 22: Restrict  F/f 📰 😴 🌈 🐈👨‍🔬 

Choice quote: “’Hmm. By ‘weird’ do you mean ‘hot’?’ asked Zahara, lounging above her on the couch. Nikki nodded. She definitely meant hot. “

HypnoBS- 2. A month is a long time and this is a strong reaction. But- maaaaaybe would work for a bit, especially within these boundaries?

Day 23:  Villain there’s a m and a f  📰 🛀👨‍🔬❓#

Choice quote: “They had been planning against that damned do-gooder reporter Lizzy Lampost for months and now they were about to finally have her in their clutches. “

HypnoBS-1. But you’re not reading this one for realism, are you?

Day 24: Drink F/f 📰 😴👨‍🔬🌈 😍

Choice quote: “’Leah,’ she said. ‘I’ve found a drinking game! This might be fun! Want to try it?’”

HypnoBs- 5. With the right person. (That part of the end might be a bit harder.)

Day 25:Worship: F/m 📰 🛀🌈 

Choice quote: “After all, it wasn’t the time to work right now. It was time to worship his Mistress’s cock.”

HypnoBS- Someone on AO3 told me this fic just wrecked them. Lucky that person- this one’s a 5. Maybe not with everyone, but an awful lot of people should be able to do an awful lot of the activities in this story. :)

Day 26: Fey M/f 📰😴 😭⭐

Choice quote: “Humans do not know the spells they weave.”

HypnoBS- 1 Only true in that metaphorical way. (So- really, really true. But not factual.)

Day 27: Recording F./m 📰 🛀❓👻#

Choice quote: “It’s a recording, he reminded himself. “She’s not there. No one is there.”

HypnoBS- 2 At least, I don’t know how to make this happen (outside of a consensual scene).

Day 28: Obsession M/F 📰 🛀😍👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Some guys had cars. Some had computer systems. Some had home brewing. But Mark’s obsession was Julia.“

HypnoBS- Oh gosh. Errr...2.5? Hard to say. 

Fun Fact: This started as a one-sided scenario, then it changed, then it felt really hot, now it feels like a sweet silly sitcom premise. (If you want to read some episode synopses of this hypothetical sitcom, there are some brilliant ones here! Also- feel free to send me more!)

Day 29: Helpless F/m 📰😴😍

Choice quote: “’I want to be helpless,’ he replied. Juan felt his headspace changing. He threw himself into that feeling, trusting Josie to take the reins.“

HypnoBS- 5. Not a scene log, but pretty much How I Top.

Day 30: Awaken 🔊😴👨‍🔬

Choice quote: “Aaaaaand-awaken!”

HypnoBS- 5 Hypnotist BS- also a 5

Thank you all for reading these! Thank you especially to everyone who reblogged, wrote me comments, and generally supported me through this past month. I’m going to specifically single out @daja-the-hypnokitten​, @wellgnawed​, and @spiralturquoise​ for the encouragement- y’all are the best. :)  I know this is a long post, but I’d really appreciate reblogs of it!

Also, I didn’t have time to contribute myself but- if you donate to Hypnokink for Trans Lives, let me know and I’ll write you an epilogue for any of these stories that you choose. 

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

How To Catch a Friend

Kanene’s note: Heyaaa!  Well, this is a very late fanfic written due @kieraelieson‘s Make This In Your Only Style Contest. I choose prompt one because it was the one that most inspired me, and I really like the result!

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That is an Alternative Universe with Fairy!Patton, Magic!Logan, Witch!Virgil and Magic!Roman

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.

* Warning for Angst (but only a bit), cursing, fighting, mention of explosions, slightly hurt/comfort and brief shouting.  This has about 7.000 words because I got hella inspired due this very good prompt. Kiera, I am looking directly at you XDDD <333. Thankys for the inspiration!

* I didn’t proof read it very well, so I am sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Want to know more about this AU? Here is a post for ya! They’re precious and I will fight for them. Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Stay calm, take a time to yourself, remember to eat today, hug asoft thing, make a wish, drink water and sleep well! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

“I can’t do anything right!” The tiny fairy cried, crumpling forlornly onto the stump.

Logan realized then that the dare to keep walking had not been intended to be possible. He frowned slightly, wondering if it was even possible to comfort the little thing when he was the one to upset him.

“Please don’t cry. I can step back and you can try again to trap me.”

The fairy sniffed, wiping his eyes. “You would do that?”

“Certainly. I’ve tried enough difficult things to know that it sometimes it takes several attempts to get it right.”

“Ohh, okay!” His tiny head nodded thoughtfully, the hair strands bouncing a bit with the movements, which made Logan wonder how the gravity influenced the little being and if he could bring up this discussion in his school.

Definitely not during class, the other kids didn’t like when he talked a lot, especially about things that weren’t in the book and ‘therefore’ - Logan didn’t grasp the logic in this. Books are great, however can’t contain all the knowledge that existed about the subject and most of the time their approach wasn't nearly as interesting as it should be. - weren’t important to say.

Logan couldn’t understand how could exist something that wasn’t worth being said or asked.

“How do gravity work on you?” He blurted out, looking behind, the tip of his tongue out matching with the frown on his face as the boy tried to step on his exact footsteps previously left on the dry dirt.

The fairy hummed, the movements of his wings making him to go slowly up and down, up and down, up and down. Like a seesaw, Logan would point, if he wasn’t so concentrated on the task of retreating and re-doing his previous steps very carefully. A funny image of himself and the fairy playing on the toy would also pop on his mind, perhaps making a giggle bubble on his chest.

The small magical being, in other hand, would think it was more like a leaf swinging back and forth on their branch before falling, the actual image of him and a very small human swinging and holding a branch as they smiled shining among his thoughts for three pieces of time, leading a giggle to escape and shake the tip of his wings. But he quickly tapped his temple a few times, attempting to poke that thought away.

The other fairies said he got attached too much easily.

“I don’t know.” The human seemed flatter his shoulders with a ‘oh’ and the winged being couldn’t help but continue his sentence, hurried “But I know how to sing in bee! Ah, please stop right there!”

The boy did as requested, his left hand running on the spine of his book back and forth, making the other wonder if the letters inside it were bigger than his – comparatively – tiny hands. His gaze fled until it met with the bigger being sparkled eyes. “Do you? Really? Why do I need to stop here?”

“Because it’s the closest where my trap is, kiddo! I’m going to redo the magic really quick. Then I can show you a bit of the dance!!” His tune bathed itself in joy, his hair strands looking as if they were floating in the air with how fast he flicked his wings, coming down to grab a brown pot, a silver liquid gleaming inside it. He stepped on the ground, spilling the potion on ten green leaves before going up, the liquid following him on absurdly thin strings that the magic fairy used to tie on the lower branches from the tree shading their forms, intelligible words coming out his mouth during the whole process.

The strings then spiraled before turning invisible.

“There! You can try to pass again, please, please, please!”

“Thank you,” the boy replied, remembering it was polite to reply with a good word when someone used a good word with you.

But it didn’t work. Again. The one who spent hours and hours preparing the potion - not only the simplest spell, but the simplest magic human trap - felt a painful tug on his stomach. The mean thoughts came back one more time, but he was too much distracted looking at the unfazed silver strings to poke them out.

“A-are you really a human?” He sniffed.

“Yes. I believe I am.”

“I can’t even catch the easier prey in the world!”

The young human noticed the distress on the other, this making an unpleasant feeling scratch his chest. He thought about what he could do to help. Usually talking about things he understood helped him. Yes, he really liked to talk. It felt good and very, very warm. Not hot. Hot made him stink and gave a really disgusting feeling on his skin. Talking was warm, different and good. Especially when people paid attention to him.

He could pay attention to the fairy. He also liked to listen.

“Why wouldn’t it work if I was not a human?”

“Humans are too much curio-ous to feel the magic or run away from it. This was the simplest potion to catch you! I spent an entire day preparing it, the ingredients aren’t hard to find, b-but I get very distracted.”

“Do you want me to come back tomorrow so you can try again?”

The tiny fairy blinked, looking at him with awe. “Would you do that?”

“Yes, of course. That is why I offered.”

“Oh, my stars. You’re the best human ever! Thank you, thank you, thank you, kiddo!!”

However, then he remembered a thing about humans. Humans are liars. They’re always busy, full of things to do and words empty of meaning to share. His bright smile fell a bit. 

 Well, at least they had the good luck of spending some time together having fun, right? Something deep down which wasn’t prepared to say goodbye grabbed the first excuse which appeared on his mind, didn’t want it to end just yet. “Do you still wanna see the dance?”

“Yes!” His wide eyes followed as the winged creature danced in loops and shaking his body, a soft buzzing filling the wind along with giggling.

“It can tickle.” It’s the explanation after he is done. Logan nods, making notes on the book he is carrying around, the tip of his tongue showing out again. He suddenly stops.

“What does it mean?”

“What?” The other asks, sitting on the pages and discovering with a joyful couple of clicks that his hands are actually bigger than the letters!

“The dance. Mom says that not everything has a meaning, which is weird but I remember seeing on TV that bee’s dance is commonly used to communicate, share localizations and therefore all their dances mean something. What does it say?”

“Oh,” he traced a letter with his finger, feeling the texture and avoiding the taller one gaze, “goodbye.”

“Thank you.” Logan nodded, circling some symbols and adding more symbols above it “Can you move, please? The Sun is beginning to set, I need to go home.” Both were momentarily embraced by the silence as the fairy moved to sit on a near branch, swinging his legs distractedly as a bird sang near, their attention captured by the melody.

The boy was the first to get out of the trance when the song stopped. “I’m going to be back by the same time tomorrow.” He wondered if fairies had clocks, however something on his mind said ‘no’, probably because the small being wasn’t always looking at his pulse and clicked for an entirely different reason. “Two hours before the sunset.” He provided, his chest for some reason scratching again when he didn’t see the excited flutter of the tip of the other’s wings, or the floating hair, just a smile.

“Okay.” Humans were busy, full of things to do, full of important tasks to attend.

They don’t come back.

“I will wait for you.” Patton - but Logan didn’t know this yet (and would him ever?) - answered with the most truthful sentence he could gather.

“Ok.”

Both waved as the distance between them increased, smiling their own small smiles.

The other fairies said he got attached too easily.

[~*~]

“Good afternoon, fairy.”

“You came back.” Patton’s mouth was wide open, the small pot shaking precariously on his hold, his utensil falling and being forgotten beside the rock where he sat. This couldn’t be true. Was it true? Was the damsels of wind and light pranking him with illusions? 

Humans didn’t come back.

They didn’t care enough to come back.

But not this human.

“You came back!! You really came back!” Suddenly it was like the Sun had set on his stomach, filling his entire body with warmth and rays and sparkles and energy and warmth, warmth, warmth!

“Clearly. Just as I said I would.” The human’s voice sounded a lot more near now, since Patton bust in his direction, flying around the other in a paint of loops, twirls and giddy giggling that didn’t take long before being accompanied by the taller own huffed giggles. “Is it a bee dance again? What does it say?”

“No! It’s a Patton dance and it means ‘Welcome Back’!!”

“Patton?”

“Yes! That is me!” The tiny fairy landed on his hair, gasping a bit, unaware of his wings messing with some hair strands with their incessant, uncontrollable flapping.

“You’re not a specie.”

“Nope! But I’m as special as one! Just like you’re also the only one of your kind!”

“I’m not the only human that exists.”

“Yup! But you're the only one that thinks, feels and lives just like you.” Patton could feel the human frown in confusion. Clicks filled the air as he tried to think in how to explain his thoughts. “Everyone is... special. The Universe will never be able to make another Patton again, that is why I exist and that is why it’s a Patton Dance!”

“Hm.” Logan didn’t actually understand everything, but his mom told him every opinion is important, even if sometimes you think they’re wrong... or weird. The little magical being was a bit weird. Other people said Logan was also weird, usually when he talks a lot about a lot of things.

The boy decided it was a cozy feeling, being weird with Patton.

“My name is Logan.”

[~*~]

Virgil was not worried.

He was a witch. He studied every single spell put in front of him in the most complete way possible. All the weakness, all the dangers, all the consequences, all the afterwards effects, all the ingredients, the necessary rituals... Everything. His full nickname on the academy used to be Thunderstorm of Stormclouds due his habit of knowing all the details, all the books, as if he devoured every bit of information in front of him. His dorm was often full of sounds and explosions of his incessant attempts of replicating all the magic learned.

That is the why of ‘Thunderstorm’.

But never, ever, any accident happened in the classes he one day attended. Because he was careful. He understood the dangers of magic and its instability. He mastered protection spells and charms and it wasn’t before him to wait for all of his classmates to go to sleep to sneak out of the dorms and shove on a big part of the building a bunch of security magic. 

The thought of that, even years later, if the professors searched carefully, they would still find some of his amulets between the walls’ small holes and webs on the ceiling still made a toothless smile cripple on his face.

So, back then, even if people were wary of him most of time, they still felt safe enough around him - and honestly, to Virgil that more than enough - that is why of ‘Stormcloud’.

It wasn’t that Virgil didn’t trust his professors or classmates. He was just prudent.

TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE TWO KIDS!

Virgil huffed from the shadow he was sat, camouflaging his form as his gaze traveled to the watch on his pulse, confirming that one hour had already passed and the tiny fairy - Patton, as it seems - didn’t come back looking for any forgotten belongings. His form sunk in the darkness, submerging on every tree’s shadow in a ray of thirty meters to check the strong points on the protection spell he casted there on the last week. The tight knot on his stomach loosening with the acknowledgement that his entomagic triggered in the afternoon didn’t affect it, even if the guilt kept the knot firmly where it was.

The witch didn’t expect such a bigger reaction from them, when he first set the spell. It was something simple, really, only a few groups of spiders, ants and caterpillars appearing from a dull thud around the two unsupervised kids playing with magic and trying to crawl on them. A quick, unharmful and scary enough act to make them flee and hopefully go to get an adult next time they desired to practice their spell abilities.

But Virgil should’ve known how much terrifying an army of insects would be to a fairy, who immediately screamed as the scene before him settled and attached himself onto his friend – Logan, I think? – the fear apparently taking over his body, leading him to half fly and half stumble around the human, confusing and startled him enough to fall and kick in despair to get the most away as possible from the animals.

The adult immediately undid the spell, realizing how spectacularly it failed – like most of the things he tried to do, ha – however, he couldn’t just make the small whimpers and tears from the other’s two disappear in a ‘puff’ as well, his heart being squeezed with the scene of Logan trying to clumsily hug an obviously shaken Patton as him himself tried to stop his trembling limbs. And, even if Virgil deposited in a near, visible rock a small chocolate bar with curative properties and whispered soothing, soft words on the wind and made them fly to the others until they both were calm again, he couldn’t bring himself to go away back to his cottage like any other day. 

He quietly accompanied the two as they ate his treat (not after Logan’s analyze and final word that it was safe, of course) and forgot the trap in order to play and have fun a few feet from its original location and then talk about stars and planets, a subject which seemed to interest both parts.

Virgil wasn’t good with social etiquettes, so it took some great days of searching to discover how to apologize in Fairies Language and to find the exact gift he was looking for. 

He put the star map and the small pot of cider inside a trunk, visible enough to be seen only for the younglings when they arrived in the same spot they always met. 

The witch took a deep breath, shaking his head. No. Nope. His work here was done. He put charms and spells around the place. They would be fine. They would be okay and even better as the adult stopped to put his nose on their business. There was absolutely no reason for him to keep extending it. He would go back to his cottage and to his normal life, just like it was and always had been.

Just like it was supposed to be. It had been fun to remember those times from the academy, when people trusted him and actually got a gleam on their eyes when he entered the place. 

But this wasn’t his academy. Virgil had nothing to do with Patton and Logan. He should go.

And that was what he did.

[~*~]

To their and his own credit, it took about one month in its entirety before things came crashing down in an avalanche.

He was quite impressed, when he stopped to think about it. But on the day the events occurred? He was terrified.

And he knew, believe me, Virgil knew very well when the wind got a tad stronger than it usually was, causing the fairy to lose his balance and slightly hit the boy’s hands, not even hard enough to hurt any of them, but enough to cause a distraction and to let an extra drop of Waterfalls Tears – secure, easy to find, easy to lose. Extremely volatile when used together with Aqua Flower’s petals; Used on the Old Era due its beautiful pyrotechnics – on the mix. More specifically, the mix of Dandelions Roars, Rainbow Feathers and Aqua Flowers, that none of them, except for him, would notice the mistake before it was too late. 

Before their eyes got wide as the mix started to spark, air full-filling in clicking sounds as the pot heated on the point its own porcelain almost melted, too much scared and distracted by the louds sounds that grew louder, louder, louder to acknowledge the trepidation of quick, desperate footsteps getting closer and closer of them.

Aqua Flowers and Waterfall Tears. 

Virgil knew the dangers of magic. He knew that he spent hours planting and sneaking protective spells and amulets as well as charms, the exact ones he was trespassing right now, enough to keep them safe especially to moments like that without his help or interference.

Aqua Flowers and Waterfall Tears. 

This is not safe. Run. They need to run.

He knew about explosions and scars and the consequences. He knew about despair, the paralyzing fear taking over their bodies, and yet the witch found himself wishing they would just run, go away, to be safe.

Why was he back? 

Aqua Flowers Waterfall Tears. 

Not safe. Not safe. They need to run, run,

RUN

They were just kids playing with things that they don’t entirely understand. They had nothing to do with him. They would survive. They would be okay, eventually. Things like that took some time, but they eventually heal. Everyone eventually heals. He has nothing to prove, nothing to owe to them. 

Why the fuck was him back?

Patton screamed something he couldn’t understand with his heart beating pulsing on his ears, Logan firmly closed his eyes – so fearful, so wide – and covered his ears, curling on his own form as the sparkles and bolts shouted from the bowl. Virgil got faster, stronger.

He got close enough to involve both with his arms, hugging them close to his chest as his body turned in a dangerous slip, creating a physical barrier between the younglings and the explosion, which hit him more like a hot wave than something actually dangerous. Good. It had worked. He felt trembling forms under his touch, except the witch couldn’t really tell if it was Patton, Logan or his own wobbly hands.

“Shh, shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay.” His gaze, sharp, wary, darted to the ground behind him, looking for any hints of other danger lurking near, signing in relief when found nothing, altered breathing. 

Oh stars, he was getting too old for this shit. “The explosion is over. It can’t hurt you anymore. You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.” Only then, after being sure nothing really represented danger anymore, Virgil turned his attention to the kids in his embrace.

He first noticed the boy inside a brown shield, a coat of arms on the necklace hanging on his neck shining brighter or duller as Logan seemed to mumble something to it, small words and nods as he kept his hands firmly pressed on his ears. So the youngling kept an own protective amulet with him? Smart boy.

It was only when the witch stared the fairy glaring at him with gleaming, warm eyes, mouth slightly open that the gears on his mind looked to start functioning again.

‘…the kids on his embrace’

Oh no. No, no, no. He had just jumped on act, taken over by his instincts again and then screwed everything blowing his cover up during the process, hadn’t he?

Fuck.

The realization seemed to just got stronger as Patton open and closed his mouth a bunch of times, the tip of his wings fluttering in a way that probably was terror, leading the fairy to go up and down, up and down in maybe a despair to run away, but too much afraid to actively leave his friend alone with that scary random guy who jumped out a damn shadow and grabbed them out from nowhere.

Well done, Virgil. Well hecking done. Now you terrified those kids out of their mind. They can’t even speak properly anymore. You don’t even know how fairies or kids work! Now look at this, you broke them!

“It’s you!” To the one dressed with the long vestments typical of witches blinked astonished when the first thing to come out from the small being lips wasn’t a scream. Patton only beamed more, his smile increasing as he closed his eyes and concentrated. “It’s really you!!”

“Why did you do that?” Logan, who previously dissolved the magic shield asked, his tune free of discomfort, blank and curious.

“I…”

“Logan, Logan, it’s him!!” and, before any of them could add anything else, Patton continued amidst his clicks “It’s the kind witch!!”

[~*~]

“No.” He said firmly, internally wishing he seemed a whole lot sterner than he sounded.

Virgil was a skilled witch. He knew things enough to be a requested warrior at the beginning of his career, quickly turning on the most feared opponent due his tactics. He was the Stormcloud: fast, wary, unpredictable, soundless, using the environment in his favor with hidden traps and shadows for locomotion. His attacks were restless and never unfair. He was strong, resolute…

And he was NOT going to lose because of Puppy Eyes.

“No,” he repeated, trying to keep his composure when even Logan pouted, “give up, I’m not going to throw Patton in the air, especially just to see how the gravity works on a fairy.”

“But it’s an experiment!”  Logan quickly pointed, frustration painting his tune as if Virgil couldn’t understand the importance of this statement. “This is what science is for!” Virgil sensed a small wave of deja vu, feeling like he had already heard this somewhere else. 

“He can fall and injure himself and I’m not going to spend my ingredients to make a heal potion when I could avoid the injury in the first place.” 

“But, but, but! I’m not going to fall, you're going to catch me. I know it! I trust you!” And then, in a totally unfair move Patton held Virgil’s index finger between his palms, somewhat increasing his pleading eyes, “If something goes wrong, I can fly!! Please, please, kind witch.”

Virgil growled, deviating his eyes to Logan.

“He is correct. This is what science is for. Please.” The boy adjusted his glasses, looking pointedly to him. “Science.”

Virgil growled louder, however extending his hand to the tiny fairy, who excitedly flied around his head a few times before changing his way to hug his left cheek, clicks and fluttering wings materializing his delight while Logan swung back and forth on his feet, fists shaking and a toothy smile painting his expression. 

How Virgil was supposed to say no to that joy? The adult internally signed. These kids were going to be the end of his existence.

“Quick, before I change my mind.” He lied to cover his soft spot for them – not that would ever admit it – snorting as Patton quickly shoved himself on his palm and Logan hurriedly ran to get his notebook and pen from the blue, looking slightly old, backpack.

And, as Patton was thrown, his squeals of excitement along with the fast scribbles of Logan’s pen filled the air Virgil allowed a small grin to wander on his face.

[~*~]

“Mom is in the yard today.” Logan announced as he arrived, accepting the sandwich offered for Virgil, looking at its content and giving a happy hum as he found it had onions on it, picking one ring and eating it apart. 

“Oh, that is fantastic, Lo!” Patton said, had already finished his snack and now taken a few Colorless Petals from his purse. “Will she stay there today?” 

“Yes, I think. She will be waiting for me when I come back.”

“Great! Look, I finally found everything we need! We can start my trap again!”

“Does she like gardening?” Logan hummed in agreement, his eyes fixed on the new ingredients, probably memorizing them to write later. Logan’s mom is still a mystery to Virgil, the most near of a responsible adult in this boy’s life being Remy, a guy who his magic almost danced from his body - leading cold chills to run the witch’s spine - when they first met right after the Aqua and Waterfall accident. The coat of arms Logan used was definitely from him, and by the way Remy’s questions about the accident were precise, it was definitely much more than just an ordinary and simple protection advice. 

The witch would be much more defensive and wary on that day if he hadn't previous Magic checked the amulet and found only protection and kind, lovely feelings involving it. Patton, as a fairy, one of the most sensitive magic beings of the world, also seemed to trust the object, so he did his best to not attack or hiss at the stranger (even though both looked to have come to a silent agreement they didn’t like each other) when he showed up other times.

“We could search for some seed flowers to give her later, then. You think she would like it?” Logan nodded, humming contentedly a ballad about flowers and peaches. Virgil turned to Patton’s direction, frowning as he noticed the purse’s content. “Where are the Dandelions Roars? I thought they were the crucial part of the trap.”

Patton froze for a second, his breathing failing, but he quickly forced himself to act naturally, wishing the perceptive human hadn’t got his mood’s drop, “I, uhh, I found a new receipt of a new trap that I think will work better!” He wasn’t lying, “it’s a harder potion, so I will have to practice a bit more, but I’m sure this time I will succeed!”

“Oh, ok.”

[~*~]

The drop of Wind’s Whispers hit the pot and suddenly Virgil’s soul froze. After weeks of frowning and strange twitches on the pit of his stomach, he recognized the potion, no, the summoning they were doing.

“Patton!!” Loud, harsh tune. The fairy froze in the same place. 

He knew it. He knew it he knew it knewitknewitknewit. 

Virgil discovered everything.

He would try to stop Patton. 

The tiny magic being held the porcelain and, in a flash, hid it in one of the thousands branches above them. “Please, please, don’t!” Virgil’s eyes were traveling from tree to tree, trying to find the object, his heart pounding, his head spinning and the fairy had plenty of knowledge of why. 

It was risky, much riskier than anything anyone could ever try. But it was worth it. It was so worth it. Virgil would have to understand. “V, please, listen to me.”

“No, Patton!! You lied! You lied to me to do… that!” Virgil attempted to even his breathing, he would have to concentrate if he wanted to end this as quickly as possible. Unfinished potions were extremely hard to localize, but being a forbidden magic made it a tad easier. Patton got closer but he refused to deviate his attention. The adult gritted his teeth. He did not understand. “You’re not stupid, Patton. You KNOW what happened to everyone who tried to do that! You know about the rumors, about the marks and especially WHY this is a forbidden trap! You know all of this and don’t you dare to try to fool me again.”

That sentence hurt. It bruised almost as much as the hurt the witch tried to suppress from his glare. The fairy didn’t know he was clicking until this moment but the desperate sound was almost impossible to ignore now. “No, no, Virgil. I didn’t want to… The fairies, we have a new idea, a new way to make it and now it can work, Virgil! It can work and I can finally do something right and I have-”

“You HAVE? Patton? You have what? Put yourself, put me and Logan in danger just because of a dumb bunch of fairies that don’t even care about who you really are? Is it because of that you were trying to kill us all?”

There was a sound banging on the background. It was banging and pleading for attention but Virgil pushed it away.

“It’s not because of them! I don’t want to catch a star for any of them! I just want to-”

STOOOOOOP!

The sound harshly hit them as a strong wave of magic passed all of Virgil’s protection spells, breaking them as if they were made of glass and shoving the other two on the ground, both attention being deviated from the discussion and captured by Logan. A Logan involved by a thundering, navy waves of magic which fled and hit everything on its way. Virgil felt his voice disappear.

Logan wasn’t a human.

“Lo.” Patton was the first to speak, trying to crawl to his friend’s position even being clued on the ground with the waves’ force. “Lo, dear, please, look at me, okay, kiddo? I am sorry we were screaming. Look at me, look at me.”

SHUUUUUT UUUUP!

“Everything is okay.” The pressure on his body made his voice hoarse, however the witch pushed forward, getting on his knees, arms in front of him in a calming gesture, “we’re okay. You’re okay. I need you to take deep breaths, okay? You can do it, I know you can.”

Logan shook his head, gasping. With the corner of his eye the adult realized the pot floating from the second tree on the left, its content starting to gleam in a strong red color, and sudden dizziness took over his body. 

The trap had been activated.

“Of course, you can! You’re so, so strong and brave and really smart and cool. I believe in you, Logan. You can control it.”

The porcelain object slowly floated in Logan’s direction, looking as if it was devouring every bit of magic being thrown at it together with all the remnants of the environment. Virgil got up on his wobbly legs, gathering on his vestments all his attack potions and throwing at it from all the directions, activating on his run his protections charms and directing them to the trap with despair, the feeling only increasing as his efforts were broken by the force without even managing to touch the container. 

The color started to grow brighter and brighter, a portal opening above it, consuming more and more of the uncontrollable magic. If Patton was sensing it, he resolved to ignore, using the opportunity to get closer from his friend, his voice in a constant tune, talking and calming, soothing and warm.

But all the three of them couldn’t ignore the moment everything stopped.

The harsh strong waves ceased its explosion and came back to Logan, who laid with a silent thud on Virgil’s arms. The leaves on the tree stilled, soundless, birds were nowhere to be seen, wind frozen midair, Patton’s voice was muted and even their beating hearts were paralyzed during this piece of time. An horrible ringing exploding in their ears.

The light turned white, stealing their breath.

And then everyone and everything was engulfed by it.

…

..

.

..

…

“Hello?”

Patton was the first to feel his senses come back. His eyelids trembled before opening and he had exactly a second to realize he was laid on Virgil’s coat.

Because on the other tick of the clock, his gaze was captured by the tall, smiling, magic – so, so, so magic. In every atom, every blink, every cosmic dust around him, they all screamed magic, magic, magic! -  creature looking down at him. “What a hello, little fairy!”

And then Patton screamed. Because the last minutes of his life were the most horrible, nerve wrecking moments he ever imagined to feel. Because his friends were unconscious. Because he was scared, and more important than everything else…

Because his trap had worked.

“No, no, no, little nebula, calm down, calm down” The being began to move his hands without any idea of what to do with them, “I’m not going to hurt you, okay? AAAH!”

The star screamed because that sinister thing under the fairy moved, launching to a sitting position while it also screamed, and, on his turn, Virgil screamed because he got up to a big shadow hovering above him and moving closer to the fairy, that is also why his arm shooted to be around Patton, his chest vibrating as he hissed to the other being, eyes sharp and yet trying to focus on its human looking like features.

“Don’t you dare to touch him!”

“No, no, Virgil!” Patton finally saw the one who was captured by the trap, - by their trap – absorbing the way colorful dots shined on the other’s skin, how the eyes staring back at him were deep and antique and yet so joyful. He noticed how the hair floated playfully, as if the being had a kind of its own gravity, reminding the winged fairy of himself when he got really excited. Actually, Patton could feel some light brushes on his neck from his hair moving around. “Virgil, Virgil! It worked!! We did it!! We really did it!! We trapped a shooting star!” Then, his voice came out lower, as if he really acknowledged what this truly meant. “Now I can give Logan a wish.”

“A wish?” 

“A wish, indeed! It’s a pleasure, the bestest of the pleasure, to finally get to know you earthlings! You’re really so cute, makes me want to squeeze your poor soft materialized face! By the way, everything is so soft and light here! No wonders such little gravity is enough to keep everything down. I bet I could carry your all, no, explode that, I can carry you and all the Earth’s content all together! That sounds fun. What is the most heavy thing you have here? I’m going to lift it. Ah, right, I almost forgot” He lightly hit the side of his head, his words coming out non stop, as if he didn’t need to breathe, what, looking at the situation, was much more likely it, “Star Roman Prince, at your service for one wish and one wish only! Even though I was captured by three of you, my power is too much, well,” he laughed, loud and boisterous, “powerful to interfere more than necessary on the planets. So, choose well, little ones.”

“Are you really a star?” and the young bipedal who had just woken up was so full of reverence that Roman felt the magic dance inside him as a lovely breeze. Yes, that was it! That was exactly it he was imagining, – for ages and ages wandering in space. Able to watch and graze at any planet he could ever imagine and desire, but never visit them without being invited – truly dreamed for the moment when he would finally be caught, no, be claimed for a terraqueous.

He was glad he didn’t need oxygen to survive, because the view would absolutely have his breath taken away. There were so much green and vivid colors and things to touch and life! So, so, so much life and companies and being who he could actually talk to.

Oh, my gracious Universe. Roman could talk with them. He could talk, sing, ramble, explain, complain, discuss and be answered.

It made him kind of want they never wished anything in the first place. This way he could stay more.

“Yes, I,” and then he jumped holding the sing-sang word as he took the form of a fairy in mid air, holding the other’s fairy hand and spinning him a few times – smiling wider as the other squealed excitedly – before turning into the height of the second shortest of the group, conjuring a small vision of a particular cozy Universe’s corner before growing to a perfect replicata of the adult there, booping his face and taking steps away as the taller hissed, finally stopping his melody, “am!”

The tiny fairy clapped happily, flying closer, “I am Patton!”

“A pleasure.”

“Stars are loud.” Logan pointed with his usual blank voice, then hummed, a toothless smile painting his features as he went to get his loyal notebook.

“Well, stars got to shine. ~”

“And we are going to have a conversation. A private conversation.” The second sentence came sharp, cutting any remark the cosmic magic being was about to say. Virgil’s eyes seemed to stare deep into his core before gently shoving the younglings aside.

“A star?” It was the first thing that came out from his mouth, directed especially to Patton, since the other boy seemed occupied taking new notes on his book. “You were trying to catch a shooting star for Logan?” 

“He is… my first best friend. Ever. And he loves stars a big lot! And, and, and I thought… I’m not very good or powerful to give him a really great thing like a star, but… If I could catch a shooting star then he could have a wish and ask to see a constellation! Or to have one! Or to visit any planet! I just… wanted to give him something cool.”

“Patton, come here.” The witch extended his palm, carefully ruffling Patton’s hair when he sat there, his voice was soft. “You are a pretty cool guy, okay? Logan thinks that too.”

“Of course I do.” Logan said, yet writing even when a yawn escaped from his lips. Something about how nonchalant and sure he sounded, as if it was silly to doubt about it in the first place made Patton feel like his tiny form was full of Suns, again. 

“And I hope you both use your wish wistfully.” The two kids brightened up right away, the fear hidden deep in their minds that the adult would somewhat forbid them to interact with the new person – kind of – dissolving in pure bouncing excitement. “But never ever again you two dare to ever think about trying to do something dangerous like that without warning me first!” 

They nodded eagerly, bouncing up and down, making Virgil sign loudly, questioning all his life choices and shaking his hands to dismiss them “Go think about what you two want or whatever, your little demons.”

They didn’t take long before losing themselves in a joyful ramble with each other. Virgil took the opportunity to deviate his attention to the older one, who was trying to coach a very suspicious bird to come closer to him, narrowing his eyes. The guy reminded him those geniuses belonged to those old, with yellowish corners, tales where thousands of humans, monsters and magic beings were disgraced as their wishes were evilly twisted to go against them.

Well, he got closer from the other, who turned to him with a charming smile, this guy was about to have a big storm coming if he thought they would be so easily tricked.

“What.” said Roman.

“You…” Virgil started, warningly. 

‘Got it.’ Roman thought, smugly and immediately expanding his brightness to an astonishing level. 

“Done!” He announced, happily “Since you requested so eagerly for my company then that shall be!” He ignored the human irritated shout. “Oh, what an honor! That, of course, means I will stay together with you through your whole journey in this human form and therefore be free from my duty until your wish is fully granted! It will certainly be an awesome experience!”

“Awww, you asked for a new friend, V!” Patton didn’t seem sad for losing his chance, smiling wide and patting one of the human’s red cheeks.

“It was an accident!”

Logan made a low small upset sound on the back of his throat. “I desire to know how to properly set and activate the trap… We did it wrong. We messed up the steps and nearly didn’t put all the ingredients as asked, but it still worked, how?” He turned his head to Roman, who lowered his body a little in order to read the step-to-step spell written on the boy’s calligraph, he tsked in disapproval, taking the object and summoning a feather pen, starting to scratch a bunch of lines from the receipt.

“No, no, that is definitely wrong. That is the magic you were trying to use to get a shooting star? Damn, just don’t. You do this and you’ll definitely get a Supernova.” Then he stopped, his mouth slightly open, a lamp popping above his head, gleaming. “Oooh, that explains why Remus was always being claimed. I just thought earthlings didn’t like me.” For lonely and long thousands of years, “heh, silly me. Aaaand, there you go, kid! A brand new magic to get a brilliant Shooting Star as well as, of course, the wish.”

“Do you know a Supernova? Roman, that is so cool!!” Patton gasped. 

“Of course I do, he is my brother.”

“The astros can be related? I didn’t expect it to be possible. How?” 

Patton’s laughter and Logan’s questions made him smile, not that the witch would ever admit it. Well, maybe... maybe there was nothing more he could do now except keep an eye on them, right? Just because the star- no, Roman, - could turn out being dangerous too, sure. It has nothing to do he got utterly attached to the young ones. No, get off his thoughts, damn!

And, yes, things weren’t fully resolved. They haven’t thought about what to do about Logan’s outburst or how Patton’s managed to get the forbidden trap or to even fully understand what Roman was. However, as questions, answers and warm – that good warmth, which embraces your heart - feelings fled all around them, Virgil felt the anxious knot on stomach to ease a bit, relaxing before the scene of the rays of sunshine dancing with the Damsels of the Wind in between the leaves and trunks from the forest. A calm breeze attempted to carry all the smiles and grand gestures to a faraway land as the reminiscent magic began to disappear, and, along with all of this… 

They were okay.

…

The entire ground trembled when Remy suddenly appeared between them, even if his clothes were a mess, hair uneven and face marked by brown drops which could be just dirt on the best scenario his crossed arms sent shivers down almost everyone's spine – Roman’s ‘nice’ fell on deaf ears – and his voice wasn’t boisterous or even loud, but echoed, cutting the thick silence skillfully. 

“What the HECK happened here?”     

[writing-with-olive]

How to write a five paragraph essay

This is going to be my third and last of these posts, unless people have questions that arise from them (at which point I am more than happy to make more - just let me know!) You can find my post about writing thesis statements here, and my post on essay conclusions here (both imbedded). Unlike my previous posts, this is going more in-depth about five paragraph essays, though I imagine you can take the tips here and apply them elsewhere. 

Alrighty guys. Strap in because this one’s gonna be a bit long.

1) Prewriting

Okay. Since I hate prewriting as a concept (seriously. You do all this work and you don’t have any essay to show for it? what is this?), I tend to keep it pretty short and sweet, but it is necessary. 

What do do?

Read through your source material, and get an understanding of what you’re going to argue about

As you’re reading, make sure you write down your sources or else doing your bibliography is going to be a pain (just copy/pasting urls should suffice at this point)

Create an argument (generally, what is the point you’re trying to get across)

Write your thesis. It’s important that you do this AFTER reading the material, as you won’t know what to argue if you come up with a thesis before doing the reading. Constructing your thesis is also important to do before you actually get to writing, as it informs a lot of the structure of the essay. For more info on how to construct a thesis, I made this post as part of this mini series not too long ago (same link as above). 

Outline your essay. This can be detailed if you like it like that, or it can just be a few words for each paragraph. As I personally find outlines to be both necessary and a pain, I tend to go with the latter of the two (described further in the example below). However, experiement with both - some people work better when they have detailed outlines with all of their sources and arguments listed under each paragraph heading.

How to outline

(How to outline, as well as how to write the intro paragraph, body paragraphs, a link to how to write conclusion paragraphs, and general tips all under the cut)

As you may have guessed, there are a number of ways to outline. The most basic looks like this:

Paragraph 1: Intro Paragraph 2: [insert topic 1] Paragraph 3: [insert topic 2] Paragraph 4: [insert topic 3] Paragraph 5: Conclusion

From here, you can make things more and more detailed if you like. Some common things people put in outlines are:

evidence presented

points made

relevant sources for each paragraph

their topic sentence

etc...

My advice is to play around and see what works best for you. If you’re like me and really really hate prewriting, you may go with a simpler approach. Or, if you find drafting to be hell on earth, maybe put more time into prewriting to make drafting faster.

2) Introduction

This is arguably the most important part of your essay (at least, that’s what my middle school teachers always said). The common difficulty is that everyone seems to be saying how important it is, and how cructial it is, and how [insert synonym for important and crutial] it is, and all that jazz. Which means after a twenty minute lecture of WHY you should write an introduction, there never seems to be enough time to teach people how to actually WRITE it. 

Here’s the thing. The point of your intro is to ease your reader into the topic. You don’t want to blind side them with something hyperspecific out of the blue. At the same time, you don’t want them to loose interest because you’re taking too long. 

The trick is to use the funnel method.

It works like this: each sentence is a layer, and how wide the funnel is represents how broad your statement is. Your first statement is going to be huge - something that encompases a lot. Each sentence should encompass less and less, until you get to your thesis, which is very narrow. 

A formula I frequently use (depending on if it’s applicable) is:

Intro: Sentence about humanity as a whole (establishes basic concept)

NS 1: Sentence that establishes that Intro thing applies to certain time/place (establishes the what/where)

NS 2: Sentence that specifies how, exactly, Intro thing applies to time/place (establishes how)

NS 3: Sentence that specifies relevant groups within this time and place

Thesis: the specific thing I am arguing. 

In this (very generic, and also very fake) example, I’m going to bold every other sentence so they are easy to distinguish from one another. It’s the same pattern featured above.

Conflict is one of the universal truths of life. Throughout the ages, individuals and groups have found themselves on opposing sides of a disagreement, but few could compare to the 1789 B.C. Battle of the Frogs in what is now modern-day Tatooine. Dissention had been brewing for years, but when the Narnians finally stole all of native unicorns, the civillians of the sandy outer-rim planet finally hit a tipping point; they were prepared to sacrifice anything if it meant being free. Despite the epic proportions of the Battle, a few individuals were able to record the events of the conflict in journals that have survived to this day. In his journal “Of life on the Desert,” Percy Jackson describes the effects of war, including the impact it had on his family, his work, and the state of his village.

3) Body Paragraphs

These three paragraphs are where you will be backing up your thesis statement. This is a fair bit of space, to work with if you do it right, but it’s also not a lot of space, so you do have to make sure to use it wisely. An easy way to make sure you’re doing this right is to.....

Follow yet MORE paragraph formulas

(yay!)

Seriously though. Using formulas in your essays will set you free, and it makes it look like you know what you’re doing.

Sentence 1: Topic Sentence

This is usually going to start out with some kind of transition phrase such as “in addition to [previous thing]” or whatever. Then it’s going to introduce the thing you’re actually going to talk about in this paragraph.

Sentence 2 - Second to Last: Evidence and Analysis

For each paragraph, you’re probably going to want between three and four pieces of evidence (as two looks like there’s not actually solid evidence, and five becomes tedious). 

For this structure, you’re going to want to spend a sentence introducing a piece of evidence, making sure to include the proper in-text citations (which I am not going to cover here, but I can cover in another post if someone asks me to). 

After your evidence citation, you’re going to want to write at least one or two sentences of analysis, either picking apart just that piece of evidence, or linking that evidence to other pieces of evidence. For beginners, many teachers will expect about one line of analysis, from about sophomore year of highschool up, teachers begin to expect two or more. 

Make sure that your evidence and analysis flows together - that is, organize your evidence into a logical order, and use transition words (there’s huge lists out there - google is your friend) to go from an analysis sentence to another piece of evidence. 

Sentence 3 - Conclusion Sentence

This is one of the harder sentences to nail, but the idea is that you want to restate what your topic sentence is.

If you can’t think of a good conclusion sentence, you can write a transition sentence instead, and on the topic sentence of your next paragraph, leave off the transition. 

4) Conclusions

I already did a post on conclusions, which is linked here (imbedded). 

5) Miscellaneous Tips!

Never use “you” statements. This is because you can never be sure of your reader’s background, so it wrecks some of the credibility of your argument! If you’re describing something and you feel a burning urge to write “you might do X” or something along those lines, switch “you” out for the word “one”

Similarly, never use I statements. They make things look like opinions rather than facts. NOT GOOD. A good fix is to not use personal experiences that would force you to use I statements (unless explicitely asked to), and to cut off all phrases such as “I think” or “I researched.” These are implied, and you make your argument look stronger without them.

Avoid using the word “that.” If you can cut it out and the sentence still makes sense, cut it. It’ll make your narrative voice stronger.

If you need to make your essay look longer, find places where paragraphs end at the end of a line. Then, throughout the paragraph, un-abbreviate words that can be sensably un-abbreviated. This will push a few words onto the next line and give the apperance of a longer essay. 

Similarly, if you want your essay to appear shorter (if you have a page limit or something), look for places where a paragraph just barely makes it onto a new line, and cut extra words so that the words move back until that new line isn’t there.

Keep track of all new sources as you go - it saves so much time.

Make in-text citations as you go, rather than trying to put them in after the fact. 

Run spell check before turning in your work

Make sure your grammar is correct, and understand how to use colons and semi-colons (they will save your life)

Now, here are 1000 awesome points for reading until the end, and good luck with your essay!

[promethes]

how an idiot like me got into good schools

A quick run-through of my academic history and how I got into good colleges will be below the cut! I’m also including a list of some of the schools I got into for reference. I apologize in advance for how messy this is, but my memory is shitty and I remember random things that I keep throwing in lol. (and for people congratulating me, thank you very much, but I got into all these schools last year lol! so keep in mind I graduated high school in 2019)

If all you came for are the basic stats and you don't want my rambling: I went to a public school GPA: around 4.4 on 4.0 scale (3.9 unweighted) SAT: 1520/1600 APs: 10 (4 3s, 2 4s, 4 5s) Extracurricular: mainly NHS (around 300 volunteering hours), StuCo, Varsity Golf, and Quiz Bowl

EDIT: comments made by the readers who reviewed my application are available here!

First off, I am not an einstein! I am blessed that I pick up on stuff easily and gifted in academics, but I’m nowhere near a genius. For a little backstory, I went to a public school in Michigan for the entirety of my pre-k - 12 education. When I was in the third grade, the district introduced an accelerated program. We took a quasi IQ test and if we tested high enough (I think the threshold was 80%? If I remember correctly I got a 97) we were put in a class that was 2 years ahead in English and Math. We stayed grouped together for the rest of our public schooling, basically a core group of around 20 people. Since we were the first year of the program and our grade was exceptionally gifted for some weird reason, it was a very high achieving group of students, so I’m going to include their stats along with mine for comparison because colleges also factor in your peers when they look at your stats.

I’ll start off with basic stats:

I got a 1520 on the SAT. My grade had around 5 - 10 people achieve over 1500. Some of them had been studying for years, while others (me) did not know that the SAT existed until that year and couldn’t afford any private tutoring and had no patience for the study books from the library. I’m lucky to have an aptitude for the skills they were testing. I did not take any SAT subject tests.

For GPA, I think I ended up with around a 4.4 on a 4.0 scale. I was around 15/350 when it came to class standing, so I was far from the valedictorian. I think our valedictorians got around a 4.6 or 4.7.

I took 10 AP tests. I got a 3 in APUSH, World History, Language and Comp (I fell asleep lol), and Chem (I will get into this class a little later). I got a 4 in Literature (I fell asleep. Again.) and in Psychology. I got a 5 in Calc AB & BC, Comp Sci Principles, and Environmental Science.

AP classes were really pushed in my high school, especially onto my grade, and I don’t like being told what to do lol so I pushed back and took fewer AP classes than most of my peers (valedictorians ended up with maybe 15? It’s crazy) and basically only took classes I was interested in or that I had to take because I had exhausted the rest of the curriculum.

I also dual-enrolled in 2 classes at the local community college since I’d exhausted the curriculum at my high school for things I wanted to do (english and comp sci). I want to make it clear that I never sat down and planned how I was going to maximize my schedule or how I’d take the most advanced classes, I just fell into it since we had already essentially skipped two grades. Most people didn’t dual enroll since they wanted the AP GPA boost.

For extracurriculars, I mainly focused on Quiz Bowl, Golf, NHS (volunteered around 350 hours in 3 years I think) and Student Government. I never had any leadership positions and just kind of fucked around most of the time. Most of my peers held several leadership positions throughout the years and did like a bazillion things. 5 of them even traveled to Europe for some science research thing where they presented their research. I was not that big of a nerd.

In junior year, I stumbled on something called Questbridge and decided to apply because I wanted the money for the scholarship. I became a Questbridge college prep scholar, which then led me to apply for the National College Match. I didn’t rank any binding schools so I didn’t match, but I did apply to several schools with their application. If you are a low-income high achieving student, I highly recommend looking them up. I was the first person in my school to do this program and encouraged my peers to do it too. I think 4 of us were Questbridge scholars.

As you can see, I had good numbers, which probably got me past the first wave of application look throughs. However, I’m fairly confident that what made me stand out was my essays. I always stress this to whoever asks me for advice: do not write a perfect essay, write YOUR essay. I can only imagine how bored those poor people are of reading about someone winning a soccer game or a spelling bee. Add some pizzazz in there. Talk about your flaws and your mistakes and your unique life experiences! 

For example, my personal essay wasn’t even in essay format! I wrote it like journal entries, focusing on my sophomore year when my life was Extra Tumultuous and I was going through homelessness. I did not say I was homeless once in the essay. I just did day by day entries of what my life was like during that time and through that the readers were able to see that I loved to read, that I am fiercely protective of my single-parent family, and they saw how I handled adversity. I want to stress that I’m not encouraging poverty porn at all. I did not write it to make the reader feel bad. I simply relayed what I thought about in a day, focusing on both big and small.

I also wrote about funny things related to academics, partly to explain my transcript and partly to be funny. This is the AP Chem thing. I actually dropped out of it after one term (so about a third of the way through) so I could dual enroll in a class I was interested in instead. My chem teacher HATED that since I was good at chemistry (hate it. Hate that subject so much) and tried to convince me to stay. One of the things he said was “You’ll never be ready for college if you don’t take this class! You wouldn’t even be able to pass the AP test!” so I said bet. dropped the class and signed up for the AP test that same day and showed up almost every day for the rest of the year and dicked around the entire class, taking naps in the back of the lab, sitting on his desk, cracking jokes about whatever he was teaching. I got a 3 on that exam purely out of spite with only half the information I needed. So write about stuff like that. It’s fun.

The fact that I had no guidance in writing the essays was actually really good for me since I just kind of let loose. My UChicago essay read like I was on crack, and they loved it so much that they literally mentioned it during the welcome speech for their little college visit in April.

And don’t sweat over the small stuff! The short answers don’t have to be perfect and mind-blowing, just answer honestly. For the “why Yale” supplemental essay I just ranted about how beautiful their library is for a good 300 words (at some point I said I needed my inhaler because it was that breathtaking. I made a Yale admissions officer read that.) I ranted about Howl’s Moving Castle to Columbia. I told them my favorite magazine was the American Girl ones for their arts and crafts! I have a friend at Columbia who literally sent them a picture of her in a duck costume as a supplement. They loved it. So don’t lose your mind trying to sound worldly and educated. You’re like. 17. Just answer honestly and don’t think too hard about it.

I was also extremely lucky to have a dedicated counselor who sat down for hours with each individual student to write fantastic letters of recommendation. She really made it clear what I had achieved and what challenges I’d faced.

So. tl;dr: I got lucky. Unless your parents donated a couple billion to the school, there are no guarantees. Sometimes you can have the stats and perfect essays and amazing extracurriculars and you can still get rejected because they don’t think you’re a good fit with the school compared to the rest of the applicants. There’s limited space in the student body. I got into schools my valedictorians didn’t get into even though I was academically less than them in every possible way. So let yourself shine through your essays and know you’ll end up in an environment that values the person they saw in those essays.

I got into a lot of schools, and don’t really have a record of all of them, but here are some of the top ones I can remember off the top of my head:

Yale, Columbia, University of Chicago (likely letter), Northwestern, University of Michigan, Northeastern, CWRU, UNC Chapel Hill, and a couple other schools here and there that slip my mind at the moment.

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Ezralia Vali, but all my friends call me Elv

Writing Blog URL(s): @ezralia-writes (@haylo4ever was my OG writing account 5 years ago)

Age: 19

Nationality: Asian American

Languages: English and un poco Espanol

Star Sign: Aries

MBTI: INFJ

Favorite color: As of now, red

Favorite food: Pasta

Favorite movie: The Golden Compass, but Howl’s Moving Castle and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time are close choices too

Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla with chocolate syrup or caramel

Favorite animal: Narwhals

Go-to karaoke song: Uh, Who Do You Love (Monsta X)

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): TBH, my dream job is being a manager/CEO of a tech job (realistically) or a backup dancer for kpop groups (unrealistically)

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? Neither, hot coco (coffee in the future to keep me sane)

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Mind-read 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? Sengoku Japanese period or in England when kings and queens were bloody powerful 

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? Yes

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? 100 chicken-sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? Please, I wanna be in the nerdy girl and jock romance but honestly, I’m probably just the side, hermit character.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yes but I know they don’t exist 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? Uh, I talk a lot about myself but I have trypophobia - there should not be holes in things that are supposed to be whole.

What fandom(s) do you write for? As of now, I write for BTS, GOT7, NCT, Monsta X, and Stray Kids

When did you post your first piece? May 26, 2020 (Dec 7, 2014 was my OG post on ff.net haha)

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I write fluff, angst (lots), and sometimes crack. While I can rec some awesome smuts, I don’t feel comfortable writing explicit smut as of yet, although I will elude to some smexy time. I do have a WIP that I will one day write that will definitely include smut because it’s part of the story.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? I have some OG OCs and my starter fics on Tumblr were third-person female reader. However, recent works include x you (reader) and I find that really fun and easier to write! I don’t really write any ships for Kpop.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Having read so many awesome works on Tumblr made me want to write and hopefully have other readers experience the same feelings I do when I read that great piece. However, my original goal was just to write for Monsta X since there aren’t a whole lot of fics for them but also because I have too many ideas running in my mind. Lastly, I just write for myself.

What inspires you to write? The groups I write for, other things I read (like mangas and/or shows), and especially songs!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? I write best fluff for established relationships because otherwise it’s all just angst, which is a lot of fun to write while keeping it not too toxic unless stated otherwise for plot. I also love silly fics for giggles. As for Au’s I enjoy regular day to day life with a spin or fantasy based Au’s.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? I hope they just feel a strong emotion - depending on the genre. I hope that they get to the end and find all the nuances I try to sprinkle throughout the story hinting to clues or plot devices. That’s always what I try to aim for.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? Cry. Jokes aside, I take a break/breather to refocus and take time for myself. I also read professional works to take my mind off things or get inspired. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? My personal favorite of my published works would be my Han Jisung x reader, Promise. It was my first kpop fic and a gift to my friend. I think it’s a hallmark of my return to writing and I look forward to publishing more of my favorite plots! My most successful is Spiderling, a Jeon Jungkook x reader fic, not surprised at all that my first official BTS fic would be the most popular one of my current works haha.

Who is your favorite person to write about? Honestly, I have so many ideas for Changkyun haha. I feel like he’s totally boyfriend material and can fit different roles from a total fratboy to a soft boyfriend. But I’m trying to expand both my writing and pairings and it’s a fun challenge to write for the different boys.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? I actually do! In my honest opinion, fanfiction is work about an already established character/person/universe. It’s easier for me to think up ideas for characters already prepped because I personally get lost in the details already of thinking up terms/universes to place the story in. I have a character that’s already established and people know about without having to elaborate on those finer details.

What do you think makes a good story? Proper formatting goes a long way. While I don’t judge on grammar and spelling mistakes, it is a much smoother read if people follow basic narrative-writing skills. I feel like anyone who can embody their own style and ideas (without being discriminatory or mean), then they’ve really got me hooked.

What is your writing process like? A mess. I know a lot of people outline, and I try that sometimes. But, normally I just get straight into writing what I’ve brainstormed, maybe adding some notes for future events here and there. If I get tied up at a certain part, I make a messy line break and start another scene.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Yes. Funnily enough though, I repurpose my original storylines for fics, but if I could, I would write an original story.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? I can’t stand cliches but I WILL cry over them if they’re well-written and/or have a spin on them. So, ultimately I’m down for anything. Enemy to lovers isn’t always my favorite but @gukyi​ does a great job, since that’s her renowned trope.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? A lot! I have a few lovely mootz that always have something nice to say, but I would love more reader interaction! Of course, I’m a newer writer and haven’t blown up so it is to be expected that I’m a little lonely right now. I hope that’s not a long-term thing.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Who I write for. I hate to be blunt about it, but certain members and/or groups truly are more popular which is a shame at times. Plus, interacting with more mootz and authors as well as joining discord chats and networks helps by meeting new people who will interact with you and your content.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes, at times and with certain topics. We all know people will go on anon and tear anyone down for whatever reason.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? Definitely! Writing for the public,(especially fanfic and reader-based fics) especially in these times, means you have to adapt and adhere to the ever-changing times. We have a role to play in how people perceive things, whether that’s regarding an IRL person or how we view others with representation.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Huh, as of now, I feel like I’m writing for myself. Without a lot of interaction, I don’t feel pressure. I do want to write for other groups, but as of now I’m trying to pick up speed with certain groups. I have a lot of WIPs, so we will see where I end up.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? Not that I know of, haha.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? No, haha.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? I love you!

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Don’t be afraid! It’s scary, but the worst that can happen is not writing!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? HAahaha, only because the site’s interaction roles have drastically dropped and a lot of the features suck. But the people I’ve met… priceless. I love them all and a lot have impacted my life so positively.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? Yes! All of them!

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

Stan yourself first! <3

[the-final-sif]

Sif’s Writing Advice

So, as someone whose done quite a bit of writing, fanfiction and some original stuff, I thought I’d throw together a post with some of the most important things I’ve learned over the years. This is all based on my own experiences, so take it with a grain of salt.

First, concepts:

1) Nothing is universal.

There are a million ways to write. Everything from writing style to getting yourself writing will vary heavily from person to person. There’s nothing wrong with that! In fact, it’s a wonderful, wonderful thing! Focus on improving, yes, and don’t disregard advice without consideration, but understand what works for one person may or may not work for you. Some of the greatest works of all times are those that challenge expectations, so fuck the rules, have fun while you’re writing, and make it your own.

The easiest way I’ve found to draw the line between important guidelines to follow and unneeded rules you can put to the side, is during the editing phase before you correct something. Take a step back and ask yourself why you think what you did is wrong. If the answer is it makes it harder to communicate your point to the reader, it doesn’t say what you want it to say, it makes the writing choppy, etc, probably best to change that. If the only reason you can come up with is “Well, that’s how you’re supposed to do it”, leave it alone.

2) Write poorly, and publish it.

Alright.

This is a fucking hard one.

As someone with ADHD and anxiety, this is one of the hardest things I had to learn, but it is also the single most valuable skill I’ve cultivated over the years.

You don’t get good at writing without doing it. That’s true. You need to write well to write great, you need to write okay to write well, you need to write like shit to write okay. I’m sure you’ve heard that one before. People say it because it’s true. You have to practice to get good at any skill.

What you won’t get told as often is, sharing your work with other people is a skill too. Learning what feedback is useful and what is not, dealing with the anxiety of putting yourself out there, figuring out how to reach audiences, etc. All of that is a skill that you have to learn. The only way you get good at that, is by doing it.

If you wait forever, writing and rewriting things over and over and over again, even if your writing improves, it’s still going to be hell when you try to put it out there, no matter how good it is. Putting your writing out there helps you get over the fact it will never be perfect. Learning to accept the imperfections in your works takes time, but it’s worth it.

I’ve been publishing fanfiction up for almost 6 years now. My early stories are still hard for me to go back and look at sometimes. Despite that, I’m glad I published them. Putting up stories that weren’t great taught me 2 very important things. First, just because it’s not perfect, doesn’t mean it can’t make someone happy and second, just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean it can’t make me happy.

Even now, I have the same A03 I’ve always had. I’m not going to switch accounts to leave my older works behind. I’m not going orphan them, delete them, anything of the sort. Sure, the writing for a lot of my older stories suck, but was still time and effort I put into creating something. They may not be great, but I’m proud of them anyways.

So write things poorly. Make mistakes. Fuck up spelling, grammar, flow, characterization, consistency, etc. Use every cliche and trope in the book. Leave plot threads half-finished, forget characters existed, have romance come in out of no where. Then once you’re done, put that shit up for other people to see. Let other people see that you have made mistakes, you have created something that’s imperfect, and that’s okay. Be proud of your creation, flaws and all.

3) Write the story you want to read.

It’s good to learn how to write for other people. Taking requests/commissions, experimenting with new styles, all of that is well and good. However, don’t get too caught up in writing for other people. 

When writing, don’t write the story you think someone else will want to read. Write the story you want to read. This goes hand in hand with tip #1. Fuck the idea that you have to follow a linear story path. Fuck the idea that you have to have a climax in the middle of your story. Fuck the idea that you need to have a goddamn plot in the first place.

People read slice of life fanfiction for a reason. Hurt/comfort is it’s own genre for a reason. Fluff is a genre for a reason.

I mean this for fanfiction, but I especially mean this for original writing. Write whatever story it is you want to read. Odds are, someone else wants to read that story too.

Second, here’s more concrete advice:

If you’re feeling like you’re writing is too bland/dry, check your sentence openers and sentence structure. Using the same opener (a pronoun, a name, “the”, etc) for every sentence can make your eyes glaze over when reading through it.

Fuck grammar when writing dialogue. Seriously. People talk in run-on sentences, with weird contractions and odd flow all the time. Putting grammar rules to the side, particularly during your first draft, can really help improve character voice.

Instead of ‘killing your darlings’, move them to a new document. That way if you want to bring them back in later, you can! If you decide not to, hey, you’ve got a file full of awesome scenes for later inspiration or even just posting on their own. 

Keep a sticky note, separate document, irl note pad, whatever, to the side when you’re writing. When you get a random idea for dialogue/scene/etc while writing, jot it down there. That helps prevent too much bouncing around while you’re trying to get through your writing.

Use brackets when you hit a snag. If you don’t know something, like a direction/color/date/etc, put (ADD X HERE), keep writing and come back to it. Again, this helps you keep in the groove. Particularly for my ADHD writers out there hyperfocusing, this can really help get through writing. 

Try voice to text program if you have a hard time getting ideas down. It lets you tell your story orally, put that (very roughly) into text, and gives you a base to work off of. It’ll be sloppy and rough, but it can really help kick writer’s block in the butt. Almost all computers have a built in program for this, but you can find plenty online too.

[boeserbby]

Only Time Will Tell- Brock Boeser 1.3

about/request: I really wanted to explore a relationship where you are ‘the other woman’ this is the result of that. I’m not sure how long this will end up so…. sorry.

warnings: cursing, i think that's it??

authors note: Sorry I took such a long time bringing this out, I didn’t know if anyone actually liked this or not. Remember that a lot of details in this story are made up or changed. Make sure to check out parts one and two, I fixed some mistakes and made some corrections. 

timeline: march 2017

word count: 2614

    Hockey used to be a life for not just me, but my whole family. Three nights a week we would hop in my dad’s old work truck to cruise over to wherever Charlie, and in turn Brock, played. Often times we would meet up with the Boeser’s to grab the best seats right by the ice. Here my mom would yell to “Shoot the puck!” or boo at whatever call she felt didn't fit the crime. My dad would grab a couple of beers while talking to some guys he knew from his work. Small towns mean most people there he knew so he would rarely sit with us the whole game. Sometimes I would sit by my mom and Brock’s mom and sisters. Sometimes there would be kids from school or members from the team who were scratched I would sit by instead. Wren was often the one scratched. He never made it to practice on time and when he did he would spend more time talking to guys on the team then practicing. He was nice and seen grew to be one of the guys on the team I felt fully comfortable with. He understood what it was like to be the younger sibling and live in the shadow of our elders. His older brother Josh was team captain and lead them to 3 state titles in a row.

    After the game, all of us would go out to eat. The Boeser’s and the Y/L/N’s and whomever joined along from the team. Dad would tell Charlie what to do better, of course Dad knew what it was like to play hockey. He played for the University of Minnesota until a really bad accident his sophomore year took him out. Charlie, and me too (at least for a little bit), just wanted to impress him. Often times dad would rag on Charlie until they got into a mini fight. Charlie would hitch a ride back with Brock and his family. My dad would then spend the whole drive home complaining that Charlie was never going to be as good as him if Charlie didn't take his advice. 

    Although the bad seeped into the good. The hockey rink was were my family was one. We all would come together to scream when number 6 would skate out. Cause no matter how awful things were going at home, the rink was a time of escape. It was when hot chocolate would warm cold fingers in the late second period or the high of sugar rush from skittles in the second intermission. It was a time to giggle at the little kids they brought out between periods. They wouldn’t yet be comfortable on skates so they would slip and fall or miss the puck completely. I couldn’t remember what it was like when Charlie and I were that young playing, but I like thinking we were better than that.

    After he had died, I didn’t go to many games. There was no more hot chocolate or skittles high. No little kids falling or scoring on their own net. We never went out to eat after the games. There were no more arguments between dad and Charlie. The nearby rink which once held the best memories was purposely avoided at all times. Life went on, but each day seemed to hold some emotional punch of remembrance. Like one day, about 3 months after he died I came home from school and my mom had cleaned out his room. Neat piles of his clothes and pictures were placed in bins labeled “attic” or “giveaway.” His first skates, his autographed Detroit Red Wings Steve Yzerman jersey, and so much more was packed away to be set aside. His posters, CDs and other trinkets were thrown out or donated to a thrift store. I remember yelling at my mom that this is his room. She told me she needed to heal and that dad had been asking her to do it for two weeks. It was time to move on.

    Since moving I had gone to no hockey games. And the Vancouver Canucks were not a bad team. They had just been having a difficult time in recent years. That didn’t make city pride for them any less. Any game night and the always crowded downtown streets turned into an obstacle only the bravest could handle. I never purposely put myself in a position to make the drive down to the stadium in the past 2 years of living in Vancouver. Occasionally I was invited to games by friends and classmates. I managed to get out of it every time too, but somehow escaping this invite seemed impossible.

    It was Brock’s mother’s last night in the city before she had to fly back down to Minnesota to care for Brock’s younger siblings. I was extended an invite due to my ‘gracious’ hosting, my mother called me and told me how Laurie, Brock’s mother, raved how I grew into such a beautiful and caring young woman. So there I was crammed in Rogers Arena with 18,000 or so people. Laurie was on one side of me wearing a new Boeser jersey. I, even though I lived there awhile, owned no such fan gear and instead dressed in a thick sweatshirt. Natalie tried to get me to wear her old Trevor Linden jersey, but I high tailed it out of there before she could fish it out of her closet. 

    I loved hockey growing up, but standing here made me feel so out of place. Life had changed so much in the past two years. I was no longer the little tomboy with scraped knees and a messy ponytail. I longer wanted to play hockey. Now, I had put hockey out of my life so much that welcoming it back in right now felt traitorous to everything I had done to avoid coming here. Laurie was cheering and dancing. I guess there is nothing quite like the debut of your child in the NHL. Warm ups had just started so every guy was on the ice. It was easy to spot him in the white 6 with the dark blue background. I got chills the first time I saw it. Boeser was spelled out in big letters across his back. I imagined at that moment seeing Charlie out there. He would mess around and probably fall trying to impress some girls he would see on the front row. But he would be here, and he would be happy.

    “I’m gonna go grab a beer, want one?” I asked his mom. Canada drinking laws are sort of amazing. I remember getting carded at a bar when I first turned 19. There was a split second of panic before I remembered I didn’t really need to be 21 up here. 

    “No, hun, I’m going to facetime the girls so they can see Brock on the ice,” she said grabbing her phone.

    People were still pouring in from the front doors. Lines were long for everything even the escultors. I recognized some people from college and waved. They sported brand new jerseys and held in their arms peanuts and beers and popcorn. “We are gonna win!” They all said. People were invigorated with the call up of Brock. I was invigorated to get a beer in me that's for sure. Fifteen minutes and 16 bucks later I carried my two beers back to our spot. Laurie was finishing up her call to Jessica and Paul, Brock siblings along with Duke. I waved and said hi to everyone. 

    “Kid, you gotta come back more often,” Paul said. Paul was Brock’s oldest sibling and he always acted like he was so much older than the rest of us. Add on to the fact that I was the youngest in our family friend group, “Kid” has been my nickname well into my early teens. 

    “I will soon, I have just been super busy with college and all.”

    It had been mine excuse through out my time here. For the first 8 months my parents begged me to come home. At this point they didn't even call me anymore. I guess it's far cause I don't call them up much too. 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay back home,” Laurie said. “Are you guys staying up to watch the game?”

“Only for a little bit, I work early in the morning.” Jessica said. West coast games ended way too late to stay up watching them in Minnesota. While it was only 7:00 our time it was 9 there so the game could last until 12 or 1 am. 

We all said our goodbyes as the lights dimmed. The Canucks opening video was being shown on the big screen while music blared in the arena. This was pump up time. As our guys skated out people cheered loudly. This game was supposed to be good. The Ducks always had a little rivalry with us. Add on to the fact that this was Boeser’s first home game and we were on a two-game losing streak. The team, and the fans, were hungry for a win.

    Unfortunately moral lasted until the ducks scored for the third time in the first period. Add on when Montour scored to make it 4-0 in the second, people began realising that not much has changed even with Brock. As the zamboni entered the ice for second intermission, Laurie turns to me. 

    “So, your mom told me your in college,” she started. God, she was fishing. Mom’s think they are clever trying to get information by stating the conversation at a wide base value and steer it to the cavity in the situation. 

“Yep, I go to the University of British Columbia for journalism,” I said sipping water I got after downing both beers in the first period. 

“That must be a lot of work, what do you do for work?” she asks.

“I actually write for Vancouver’s newspaper, they pay pretty good, and I do work study, so they pay for so much of my tuition that isn’t covered by my scholarships and then I get some of the money”

“What do you do for work study?” she asks.

“My English professor needs an assistant. I’m basically his gopher. If he needs a book from the library or a coffee I go get it. I transcribe his lectures for any kid who misses class. Sometimes I will tutor kids or help them find good sources for their papers. It’s not too bad, maybe three or four hours per day and I get like 6 credits towards my English major.”

“Gosh, that's a lot. He needs you to do all of that?”

 I shrug, “It sucks sometimes but the professor is nice so…”

“Your mom said that you haven’t come home since moving here.” They way she phrases the end of it is hard to respond to. It's not a question, more of a statement. She didn't sound mad or upset like my mom does when she says it. Laurie just sounds concerned. Her voice feels like a hug.

“It’s just soo much,” I start. “Charlie’s gone and mom and dad are splitting up. Mom met this new guy and he is so proper. Dad hasn’t even called me in two months because I said I’m not coming home for his huge labor day party. Plus I just got so much going on.”

“It’s okay to be hurt by what's going on, but don’t hide from it. Your parents love you a lot. They just don’t know how to love each other with so much hurt.”

“I don't know how to love them with so much hurt.” I mutter.

    Everyone is buzzing as the crowd makes its way out of the arena. We may have lost, but Brock put one in the beginning of the third to excite the crowd. Laurie and I hang back to give Brock time to get ready. The team could have lost 10-1 and she still would have been glowing with excitement for Brock. His life was changing, and he was no longer the little boy who fell over on the ice. Where most parents would have been freaking out, Laurie handled with grace, something she has done her entire life. No matter the situation Laurie put on her big girl pants and muddled through.

We meandered our way to the locker room, showing our passes to the security guard. In the hallway we waited as different guys from the team joined up with their wives or girlfriends. They all hugged Laurie telling her how wonderful her son is. Everyone loved Brock. Well almost everyone.

    Brock finally made his way out. His hair was still wet from what I was hoping was a shower and not sweat. He and Laurie hugged when he reached us. It was an awkward second or two while we figured out if we would hug or not. Wrapping my arms around him felt weird, almost as weird as the time we kissed. Yet there was a nostalgia in it too; we went always so awkward. In fact I remember a time in my life where I never thought we would ever be strangers. I remember once when I was about 12 and Brock was about 13, I had a dream that Brock and I were dating. The next day I remember being shy and awkward especially when he called me “Kid”. I went all pink and Charlie would not let it go for a whole year. Finally, when Brock asked a different girl to the joint 7th-8th grade dance Charlie let it go. I spent the whole night crying and accepted Thomas Miller’s invite. He had braces and dark hair and spent all night trying to kiss me. After the second slow dance song I joined up with my friends instead. The next day I heard a rumor going around that he said not only had we kissed, but that I let him touch my boobs. Charlie had been mad and cornered me about it. When I admitted it false, he said he taught Thomas a lesson. The next week someone “anonymously” shared a picture of Thomas at a birthday party sucking on his thumb with a stuffed animal. From there rumors spread he wet the bed every night.

    We always had each others backs. It made we wonder how things ended up so differently. We all walked out together. As I reached into my pocket to order an Uber, Laurie offered to have them drive me back to my apartment.

    “It’s too late for a young woman like you to hop in some random mans car.” she insisted.

    “”I couldn’t bother you guys,” I said.

    “No bother,” Brock said. “Might be nice to see more of the city anyway.”

    Thirty minutes later I lay in bed without make up and in an old, ripped up shirt from Natalie’s older brother that he left here. Natalie was already deep asleep when I got home with one of the Harry Potter movies on full volume. With school for both of us the next day, it was important to get as much sleep as possible. But as I laid there all I could think about was Brock’s hair and his cologne. I wished things could have ended better for us all those years ago. Maybe there’s time for change now. A girl could hope.

    As I finally started to drift asleep my phone’s ping jolts me awake.

Brock Boeser has texted you.

Thanks for coming tonight. I hope to see you soon.

    God, it’s going to be a long night.

[eternaleve]

I’ve spent the course of COVID lockdown cycling through hyperfixations while also trying to engage in some much needed therapy (lolsob), and I’ve been essentially encouraging myself to try and do more things I can enjoy without feeling shame. Anyway, that’s a short way of saying I decided to blog about all the music videos of Depeche Mode for reasons of science.

The science is that my basic premise is that most of the videos are pretty bad in ways that I find to be pretty strange. Full disclosure is that I spent my teen years being a huge Cure fan and there’s an overlap there? Of songs with very niche high-concept ideas that don’t necessarily map onto a model of popular music but found mainstream success in the rise of new wave music in the wake of the collapse of first wave punk and amplified by the creation of music videos and music video TV. And I owned all the Cure music videos and played them on my iPod Nano because I was a very strange child. But to get back to my central thesis, many of The Cure’s videos are very stylised and fun and memorable in ways that are good. And yet, despite existing in the same sphere and having an overlap of fans, the music videos for Depeche Mode mostly stay bad until the end of the eighties, a fact I will prove by watching them all.

Can you tell that I am bored because i have lost my job and my mental health is making me fixate on strange shit currently because that is absolutely the case right now

Speak & Spell

Dreaming of Me (Feb 1981)

The single art is really lovely - the red/yellow contrast is very striking against the white, and I really love the design. Hey remember when people used to go out and buy singles and you would appreciate them and the work that went into them? I don’t think I’ve bought a physical single since I was about sixteen. I used to buy them from the Woolworths music department because it was cheap and all my friends worked there, so they had a pretty lenient attitude about what exactly constituted paying for things. Woolworths policy of only hiring teenagers is probably what destroyed their business.

Anyway, Dreaming of Me did not chart super well, getting to number 57 and having no official music video - or actually getting onto the album. It wasn’t included on Speak & Spell in the UK until the 2006 re-release. So, there was no music video for me to look at…

Apart from this video I found from local TV in 1981 to promote the song. It’s a maybe-music video. Because music videos had only been around for about six years and MTV didn’t exist until later in the same year, my guess is that Mute Records were pretty cautious about putting money into a medium that might cost more than they would get in publicity. That’s only a guess. I don’t have a crystal ball for forty years ago. 

Anyway, here are some children recording music.

If i was 19 and someone offered me a recording contract I would have taken it without thinking (like i took on all those student loans without thinking through any consequences wompwomp) but now I am nearly thirty I watch this and think, ‘These children shouldn’t be outside unaccompanied’. The passage of time has made a fool of me.

They go bowling and play Space Invaders which, hey, still sounds like a great night out to me, but I’m guessing that because this is very clearly aimed at teenagers the TV producers didn’t want to encourage teen drinking by showing them performing a gig at a club night.

I call it high fashion. The all-grey really sells it.

This reminds me so much of a advice column in teen magazines - when they’d have problems set out in a little faux-comic strip of still photos? ‘My best friend stole and read my diary’ ‘My crush found out about how I feel and now he’s going out with my best friend’, that sort of thing. That is also a classic carpet pattern. I think my grandma’s living room had that carpet. 

The video is very naive! It’s the sort of thing we would all see now on Youtube from bands just starting out and it is wild to me that this went out on TV. It’s very un-glossy and normal, the stuff that bands put out on YouTube now because of DIYness.

New Life (June 1981)

This is also a really great piece of single art. It’s very bold and striking - it would definitely be the standout record in a sea of other 7’’ released the same week. It also doesn’t particularly match the tone of the single but eh, it looks pretty cool. New Life did much better than Dreaming of Me and got up to number 11 in the UK singles chart. Still no official music video, but the charting meant that the band got onto Top of The Pops! ToTP was cancelled when I was a wee baby teen, because the BBC decided to stop caring about yoof viewership and promoting music was circling the drain everywhere as streaming hit, but it was the place to promote music so was definitely a sign that You Had Made It.

So, last video was silly and made by children, but now they’re wearing see-through mesh shirts, leather trousers, and leather hats with a design that I am a little bit dubious about. I grew up on the oi/punk scene and let me tell you about how many first wave punks wear iconography of bad regimes for faux edginess reasons because I met a LOT of them in my time.

Oh boy do i have thoughts about that hat. It also looks like a Leather Daddy hat which, well, let’s leave that thought to one side. Most ToTP performances were lipsynced. Playing things live would sound weird in the studio, be picked up strangely by the audio equipment and the cameras, so 99% of performances were mimed to the single. Now, some acts would deliberately play up to the pretence and refuse to act like they were doing anything that corresponded to the song - The Jam, The Communards, and The Cure are literally the first examples that come to mind who would just… not do anything close to pretending it was real. 

This is not that. It is very earnest and awkward and serious, which sort of makes it very sweet.

Just Can’t Get Enough (September 1981)

Right, that is shibari, isn’t it? I’m not blind, am I? It’s a very striking image that 99.9% of people would not recognise other than being a striking black and white image. 

I don’t think I can overstate how… innocent, in a way, this point of time was? As in the general level of knowledge about non-conventional stuff in the wider public at large. As in my mother, an almost teen at this point, saw George Michael walking with his boyfriend in central London and had no idea he was gay until he came out. It’s actually the widest cultural gulf I can think of between her teen years and my teen years because I was very aware of queer people from a young age.

Anyway, moving on, I feel like it bears repeating that this song fucking slaps. It’s the last single to be written by Vince Clarke and the last single until 2006 to be written by someone other than Martin Gore. This is one of those songs that just works on every level. Can you imagine coming up with this for the first album of your band? That blows my mind. It’s so overpoweringly good that it was probably for the best that it was saved for last - coming out the gate with a guaranteed fucking banger was been the nail in the coffin for a lot of other eighties synth/electronica bands. They scored a huge hit and then nothing after that managed to be as good or meet the hype. Depeche Mode had built up a far bit of radio play and interest before dropping this which turned out to be very good in the long run!

This got to number 8 on the UK charts and the first to get a music video! It is the only one with Vince Clarke. Full disclosure in that I had this song on my iPod through downloading the video to my computer (that’s how we got songs without using stuff that would give us viruses because i got a ton using bearshare for rare cure demos) and I remember watching the video, all of sixteen years old, and thinking, ‘Man, all these people look so grown up, compared to me, I can’t wait to be an adult!’.

Twelve years have changed my view, somewhat.

Look at this little baby man. Were you in one of my A Level classes - as in, ones that I have taught, not ones that I have been in.

Vince Clarke, however, has had a significant glow up in the six months and now looks like he is the bouncer in a leather bar. This is the One Adult in the room.

Ahh, I see it’s Open Mic Night at the local leather bar. You know what I was saying about how teens in the eighties tended to be significantly more naive about what we might call certain signifiers? Because what this outfit says to me, a queer woman in 2020, is susbstanitally different than to my mum and her friends watching this when it first came out. She would read this as ‘This is totally rebellious and cool!’ while I go ‘Someone just joined the university kink club and spent all their bursary’.

I don’t remember the member of Blazin’ Squad that wore a slave harness. (Now, there’s a reference that shows my age. A Blazin’ Squad reference in the year of Our Lord 2020. Hoooo boy.)

I read somewhere (that I can’t find now because, of course I can’t) that these are the band’s girlfriends and I always remembered that because it made me think, lol, same. One of my closest friends is the Head of London, so she’s in every band in London and if she’s not in yours yet give her time, and my partner was in a locally successful metal/hardcore band for about a decade and being connected with any sort of band means you will be helping out hugely behind the scene constantly. I have held lights, moved speakers, picked up instruments, been in music videos, and have bought tearaway trousers and glowsticks for gigs. You get called in to help all the time which is a lot of fun, so that fact always just stuck with me. It also makes sense financially because then you don’t have to hire any professional backing dancers, you can rely on people who will happily do it for free (while looking pretty rad while doing it!).

Anyway, the band look like those generic raiders that you run into when randomly walking across the map in a Fallout game.

I love awkward choreography in music videos. It feeds me.

Filming a night out provides A) Great footage and B) Can be done for limited overheads, leaving more money to be put into promotion. 

I always like seeing this sort of footage in music videos. I tend to see a lot of it, given the DIY punk scene, and it always charms me. I am easy to please. And all those women have the most amazing eye makeup that makes me super jealous because it all looks so good.

That hat is on point. This looks like a still image for some sort of cyberpunk big band style swing revival that, sadly, lives only in my dreams.

It took me so goddamn long to screenshot this shot probably because i was also blasting dream nails whoops

Anyway those are my reactions to Speak & Spell’s one solitary music video with some other things thrown in and this took me way too long. I make myself laugh though, that’s the main thing. I will do A Broken Frame… at some point. I think I have a bunch of vinyl for A Broken Frame? My mum actually bought all the singles for that album and I stole most of her collection years ago. I will have to search and see what I can find.

[ahagia-sophia]

Story Time

Vlog? Episode 1: A Man of Constant Sorrow

 Hey guys, I’m Jacob. I’ve always wanted to do a sort of blog type thing. But, I could never figure out what I wanted to make it about, you know? I like history, mostly. But then again so does literally every white guy on the planet. [rambling] Not to say that my love of history is basic, or that anyone’s passions and interests are basic its just- Never mind, that’s not what we’re here for.

I had considered doing a history sort of thing, but I decided against it for various reasons. Sadly, I didn’t have any other passions that might be interesting to other people. At least, that’s what I thought. Until the other day when my friend was going on about how I was a central point in a lot of the stories he was telling his new girlfriend. Specifically, I was what he described as, ‘the unluckiest man on earth.’

And you know what? People love real stories. Stories of people having terrible no-good very bad times adventures. And buddy, I’ve gone on a few adventures. So, I figured I’d tell a story or two. Mostly because I really love telling stories, but also because I crave attention love entertaining people.

I have a few eye-catching stories, like; Getting Cornered In a Carpet Shop, Getting Robbed by a Rapist(?), Civil War Reenacting, The Rape Accusation, Accidentally Becoming A Harem Anime Protagonist, Being a Terrible Person, and others. But I thought I’d start with something relatively tame.

Jacob Utterly Fails and Gets Congratulated Publicly For It.

Okay so this one takes place in a small-town high school in 2015. Which should already set off some alarm bells for people who were in small-town high schools in 2015. It was senior year and I was the Battalion S-5 for our school’s Army JROTC branch. The S-5 was basically the media officer, and the place where you threw useless seniors who had stuck with the program for four years and hadn’t done anything that could get them thrown out. Which was me. I was seniors.

I was the pale skinny white kid in high school who had charisma, but was too angsty to use it, you know? I didn’t have any real self-confidence; I would flinch if someone threw a ball toward me while playing Sport. I listened to metal and Irish folk music. I spent all my time playing video games with my friends and actively pretending that the future didn’t exist.

                                   Here I am, in all my glory

Not much has changed.

Anyway, these qualities did not lend themselves to what was essentially a military recruitment program. What I did have going for me was an intense need to please authority figures and a slightly above average mind.

To fully demonstrate my inadequacy, allow me to take you back in time to the distant year of 2011 and lay out how I could not master walking.

This is not a joke.

One of the key components of JROTC is walking in straight lines in various directions and formations. This practice was called Drill. Drill cover such intense concepts as, ‘turn while standing still’ and, ‘turn while moving.’ These advanced maneuvers were, however, based on one simple principle. Walking. Specifically, the advanced form of walking referred to by professionals as, ‘walking without stepping on other people’s feet.’ Or, more concisely, ‘walking in step.’

I was utterly unable to do this. Just completely, totally, categorically unable to do this. Even with such helpful aids as a person walking next to me actively telling me which foot should be hitting the ground. I just could not do it. I would walk in step for a few paces and then immediately fall out of step and have to perform what is called a ‘change step’ which I interpreted at the time as kicking yourself in the back of the heel in order to skip and land back on the correct step. In hindsight I was probably supposed to just drag the heel of my foot. There’s an allegory in there somewhere.

So, I couldn’t master walking. This has been established. This has been abundantly established. And it had been established at the time too. Everyone knew that my drill scores were terrible. Everyone knew that I was very unable to walk. However, I aced the academic side of things, and managed to get my shit together enough to pass the Walking Final with a solid B+, which in retrospect was absolutely a pity grade from the students who were grading the final. My legacy of mediocrity was secured, and I advanced on to the next year.

I was given the coveted position of Assistant Squad Leader and the enviable rank of Cadet Sergeant. What this meant was that everyone acknowledged my lack of ability on the drill pad and also the fact that this wasn’t the real military and they couldn’t drum me out for gross incompetence. Very quickly, however, everyone came to realize that despite having absolutely no actual responsibilities, I was failing terribly in my task of ‘Be the guy at the front of the line while we walk.’ For all of the above-mentioned reasons.

This began my career as what soldierly-types would call ‘regimental bitch.’ I worked exclusively inside. I wrote memos for the Officers (read: upperclassmen), I did numbers for fundraisers, I made lists of names and T-shirt sizes, and generally fucked about in my new walking free paradise. For an entire school year, I was behind the scenes, only going outside for Inspection on Thursday’s.

This, of course, meant the everyone had forgotten that I no ability with the ordered walking. And what little ability I might have possessed had absolutely gone to rust as I spent the year (or two, my memory is hazy) hiding from the sun. (This was in Louisiana, so hiding from the sun was not as shameful as it could have been.) Logically, therefore, the higher up types decided that on one of the last drill days of the year good old Jacob should take the reins and march the assembled company (Class, about 30 people) in a straight line, a turn, and then another straight line.

Sub Story: How I Caused a 30-Person Pile Up, Literally

Pretty much what the title says, really. I was given command of the company. I said ‘Forward, March!’ and everyone started to walk forward. A result which I was completely unprepared for. They started walking, you know, at the pace the people walking in, like, a bit of a hurry would walk. Which was entirely too fast for me.

They walked far too fast. So fast that by the time they had reached the point where I was supposed to tell them to turn, I had completely lost the plot. And the front rank, in one of those moments of blind obedience that you can never recreate when you need blind obedience, walked directly into a brick wall. And then the rank behind them, and the rank behind them, and the rank behind them.

It was a slow-motion pile of human idiocy with me as its conductor. In that moment I could almost hear the the universe stand proudly from her director’s chair and loudly call, ‘Scene!’

I was never given command again.

Sub Story: A Principal’s Principles

Alright, its 2015 or so at this point. I’ve skulked my way up to Cadet Captain and a position of theoretical importance. It’s Veterans Day. I have to do exactly two things. Read a script and put people’s names on chairs. I’ve got this. There’s no possible way I could fuck this up, right?

Did you know that there are two different spellings for the word Principal? I sure didn’t. I was given a very sudden and unforgettable lesson when First Sergeant (one of the two JROTC instructors) burst into the office with my sins printed on paper and asked me if I had passed 3rd Grade spelling. (Which I had, but only because I cheated.) Picture a 6-foot-tall, well-muscled, angry veteran yelling at a pale white kid who flinched when stuff fell off the table. It is not a lesson that will ever leave my mind.

Thankfully, my spelling error was corrected before anyone important could see it. Crisis averted. Now I just had to deliver a speech about a table set for a soldier or something. I was literate, it didn’t have to be fantastic. There’s no way I could fuck this up, right? Well, two things. I had rehearsed this speech, but I had only rehearsed this speech alone with the script. Not with anyone who knew how the speech was supposed to sound. So, they dim the lights, the spotlight falls on the table in the center of the gym, and I read my speech. I gave a damn good speech. It was rousing, it was passionate, and I’m pretty sure I got genuine applause at the end of it.

However.

I stepped down from the podium, awash in the afterglow of a Genuine Success, when First Sergeant pulled me aside and in a very forced whisper informed me that this was supposed to be a somber speech given in mourning for those who would never come home.

Fuck.

It is a common theme in my life that if I do something really well, I have invariably done it wrong. This is a phenomenon that I first noticed in second grade when I proudly presented my beautiful handwriting (I normally have terrible handwriting) to the teacher only to be informed that I had spelled the word wrong.

Now whenever my handwriting looks particularly good, I double check all my spelling.

               It was around this time that it was unilaterally decided (without my consent) that Jacob would never be put in charge of anything ever again. Which was something that was honestly a long time coming. But still hurt when I was informed.

               It hurt my pride so much that I fought it. I fought it hard. I demanded, in no uncertain terms, that I should be in charge of the Very Big and Important Slideshow at the banquet that we hold at the end of the year.

Jacob Utterly Fails and Gets Congratulated Publicly For It.

This was no normal end of the year banquet. These were not your average cold beans and dry chicken. Oh no. I cannot fail during such a mundane affair. This was the year that Colonel, a much beloved man who had held the program together through sheer competence and wisdom, was retiring. This was his last banquet. This was his send off, the blow out, the thank you for all of his years of service and sage advice.

This meant that graduates of the program were coming in from across the country to send off their beloved father figure. And, on top of that, this banquet hadn’t really deviated from its standard form in the past few years. So absolutely everyone knew how this was going to go.

Food, Slideshow, Speeches, Send-off.

This is how the banquet had gone since like 2004. Perhaps earlier, I don’t really know.

I was, as a result of my own arguing and everyone else’s poor judgement, solely in charge of The Slideshow. You know, 1/4 of the entire evening was entirely at my mercy.

Two weeks before the big event I put together my slideshow. I spend hours on the stupid thing. I comb the picture archives from each of the ‘Companies’ and make sure that absolutely everyone appears in the slideshow at least once. Then I go through all the old photo albums and scan in a bunch of pictures of Young Colonel and stuff. To really just nail it, you know?

If you can see where this is going, kudos, because I somehow missed all the signs.

One week before the event I submit my flash drive to First Sergeant to make sure that everything checks out. He gives me some corrections and sends it back. I make the corrections and save it all on the flash drive.

I save it all on the flash drive and only on the flash drive.

Yeah.

The flash drive, as is the way of things, dies. Can’t access the files. Can’t open the power-point, can’t do anything. I spend a solid day trying to unfuck this situation before I admit defeat and tell everyone what’s happened. At this point we’re two or so days out from the banquet and there simply isn’t enough time to make a new one. The slideshow is cut from the evening, and literally every single senior wants to hang me by my guts. Which was fair.

We come to the night of the event, it goes pretty smoothly. I think that maybe I can just slide by and no one will ask questions about the mysteriously absent slideshow.

Boy was I wrong.

In front of all the graduating seniors a few of the returning cadets (probably in their mid/late 20s) publicly praise me for having the clout and balls to cut the slideshow out of the formula. As they had never liked it and thought it was a massive drag on the evening.

I’m pretty sure I’m still living under some of the curses that the other seniors hurled at me over that.

That’s it. That’s the story.

No one chewed me out, no one came to afterward to tell me what a useless idiot I was. No one said anything.

Which was probably the worst part. My general incompetence had become such a common feature in the JROTC program that everyone who actually knew what happened was just. Totally unsurprised.