#no YA or contemporary tho :3

[harriertail]

end of year reading roundup

Notes on a Scandal - i finished this in a night. fucking gripping but did i enjoy it? not sure. WEIRD... dickensian characters.... a somewhat rushed final section but an absolutely brutal look on class in the UK and the way we treat female criminals. full of awful, awful, people, and the system that failed a young boy. the film takes a different look at Barb but what a witch she is here, what an awful lonely bitter woman, love her character. i will definitely be checking out ms heller's other works.

Patrol - ugh SO good. incredible prose, incredible story and set up, the futility of war and the seemingly insignificant decisions made. While obviously a near play by play of mr majdalhany's experiences at war, some of the sections of the book describing his fear under attack and the expectations of his men, his encounter with an injured German, and the intense stress of the north african front, were so direct they added a vulnerability and a directness that could not have been written by anyone else. They say the war killed mr majdal in '51 and after reading what happened i can understand why.

Trial by Battle - AHHHHHH this was incredible. again a fantastic novel- I can't recommend the IWM's war classics collection enough!!! truly some gems in there showing the lesser known frontiers of the war. the setting was vivid and richly described, our narrator a man going insane over his beloved lettuce and where his class places him in the army. and Holl! What a fucking guy!!!!!! Nutcase!!!!! 10/10

The Power and the Glory - set after the first world war in socialist mexico as some crazed liuetenant chases after the whisky priest... beautifully written. i admit i maybe didnt get the full depth of it's morals and questions but definitely a good introduction to Mr Greene's writing and a somewhat overlooked time period.

Kibogo - set during the Ruzagayura in Rwanda during ww2, interesting. trippy POVs and myths throughout. deserves another read I feel.

The Terror - this just let me down. DNF and ended up skip-reading the last 50% lmfao. the racism + sexism felt less like the *characters* were racist/sexist and more like the author just wanted to repeatedly write those horrible things about 15 year old girls (ala Stephen King or Tarantino). plot was not actually that good because I couldn't get over the narrative repeating the same thing ad nauseum and the absolutely baffling pacing including the final August to October time skip ??? the choice to have multiple POVs and then have events crucial to one POV character's arc appear in a footnote in a different POV (ie Fitzjames' death being a fucking diary entry in Goodsir's POV and not Croziers?? the amputation that led to Mr Diggle's death being Crozier POV and not Goodsir??) poorly written imho. congrats to the show runners for adapting it i guess

2025 goal is definitely more female authors, no yanks, and to get through my stack of books + finish AVOS reread + more historical nonfic to read; When We Were Twins, Piranesi, Liquidation, The Geneva Party.

[castaccio]

I find it very funny that I'm being re-intrody Ed to Hamlet through you, be abuse when I read it in high school it was my senior year and also the middle of COVID, and I chronically never could understand what Shakespeare was saying. So I definitely Sparknotesd my way through that unit! But not it's been almost 4 years and here on Tumblr Dot Com of all places I'm actually learning what the hell was going on in that play as I'm also grasping at straws trying to remember what actually was happening there LOL

LMAOOO I love when the passage of time and happenstance does that to ya

But yeah, going through so much antique language in not a lot of time turns a really good play into a chore. Hamlet is a really REALLY cool play (imo) but it, like all works from Shakes and his contemporaries, needs precious context and analysis.

I remember being so intrigued when we first read it aloud in class earlier this year and trying to speed read it outside of class. Though I did manage to get through it in only a couple of days—the pdf Folger Folio, the one without the annotations that help out with what the fuck is going on—and it was not as fun as I'd hoped. I forced myself through some sections while getting barely anything aside from broad strokes, not even feeling anything about it until the end. (Boy how I cried over it when I first read it...and I tried staging it in my head and only made myself sadder,,,)

But what actually helped me was firstly, the physical Folger Folio; secondly, in class read-aloud and discussion; and most of all...Shakesblr! The summary-memes, the casual analysis that goes more in-depth than my deepest thoughts, the fanart...

Both Ironically and genuinely! Like I wasn't able to get more than a broad summary of Act 3 Scene 4(?), where Hamlet kills Polonius, but now I have a much better sense of what kind of emotions were felt on both sides. (Still not perfect tho LMAO, I really gotta read that over again.)

But fr, the fandom really helps to bring the boy to you. And with my making you a learner-in-law, I hope what shall follow is the bequeath meant of a new blorbo-in-law ❤️

[livvyofthelake]

random question but do u have any recs for good YA books? ive started like doing student assistant stuff for my schools librarian so ive been reading a lot of books from there in my free time. usually i gravitate towards the classics but ive started really reading YA for the first time and im honestly really liking it. i already finished speak and the hate u give and my heart and other black holes and some other popular ones and wanna know if theres any particular YA you like that i should try. or i'll even take middle grade recs too if there are any good ones that you can think of

again i know this is a random question lol ive just seen you sometimes posting abt YA and middle grade and i trust your judgement so i figured why not ask😭 no pressure for a reply tho

ok sorry it's taken me like 2 weeksish to answer i've been like. in some kind of torment nexus or something idk. it happens! anyway! any ya i have to recommend is gonna be at least 8 years old at this point i fear so i can't exactly give current recommendations but i mean it's not as if libraries don't have older books so i guess it's fine <3 anyway if you want to read a series there is always the mortal instruments of course.... would not be me if i didn't throw that out there... not the entire shadowhunter chronicles that would be an insane thing to recommend to a person i've never done that and i wouldn't unless i was speaking to a 13 year old who has that kind of stamina and passion. but the mortal instruments books 1-3 is actually a really great trilogy. and i know there's 6 books but you can read 1-3 as a trilogy it's set up weird like that. moving on. idk about genres you like but given your examples i'm getting a contemporary fiction vibe. so here's some of my favorite ya books like that i read in high school that actually stood the test of time for me and i still hold in high esteem and would recommend unlike say. john green's paper towns (not necessarily hating on paper towns or john green. but i just personally would not recommend his work... it doesn't stick out to me...sorry john) anyway here's a list

the sky is everywhere by jandy nelson. it's about a girl grieving the loss of her sister and there's romance and it's well written if you like a sort of camp-esque purple prose writing style, which jandy nelson does in a way that would be annoying if she wasn't so good at it. i'd technically recommend her other books but this is the one i'd say to start with it's her first and it's definitely the one with the most chill version of that writing style. like just in case you find it ridiculous the sky is everywhere is the toned down version

i am the messenger by markus zusak. insane book. maybe not as good as the book thief which is his popular one but still solid. take this rec with a grain of salt though because this was my favorite book in ninth grade and i don't actually know 100% if i just have a nostalgic fondness for it or if it was actually that good

hacking harvard by robin wasserman. insane silly fun book about a group of guys in like 2007 trying to scam some deadbeat kid into harvard to win a bet. it was awesome

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire sáenz. have to get ari in this list that's literally my buddy ari.... you have most likely heard of this one before i won't bore you with a description

the upside of unrequited by becky albertalli. same author as simon vs the homo sapiens agenda, but this one's better. source: dude just trust me....

one of us is lying by karen mcmanus. i will not lie to you i didn't like this book and i don't think it's good. however. it was memorable. it was SOMETHING. i have read manyyyyy books in my day i do not remember a lot of them but this one i remember clear as day because it was so like. kinda bad... my intro to the world of the mid murder mystery.... cannot deny the impact. for an EXPERIENCE this is the book

in terms of middle grade i fear i have not much to say on the subject of contemporary fiction in middle grade... i think all the middle grade i've ever read in my life is fantasy or historical mystery or something weird idk. but i love the sisters grimm series a lot and i think it should have been as big as percy jackson or harry potter if we lived in a world where books could have female leads and still be considered gender neutral and get popular with all kids regardless of gender. alas i guess young boys just don't want to get their asses up and read about girls. even though it's literally not written For Girls it's written exactly like every other gender neutral kids book series. it's just like percy jackson. the author is literally a man. we live in a society

[littlefoxandthearcher]

Goodreads 2024

- the naughty list -

My overall goal for the year was 50 books! And I’m about at 52 books 🤭. As usual real readers know; sometimes entertainment comes at a price of reading a horrible book…all the way to the end. And this is my list of books that were …in my opinion… horrible/overhyped/ or just something I picked up because I wanted to read something bad. (this is ranked WORST- to - …Bad/Boring/Basic ((the three b’s if you will)) within genre/themes -because I said so)

Contemporary Romance

The Play by Elle Kennedy (0/5) - traumatic experience.

Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon (1/5) - very cute writing but not my style!

Unsteady by Peyton Corinne (1/5) - has potential honestly (with its messaging) but some of the plot and writing got kinda crazy.

If Only I Told Her by Lauren Nowlin (2/5) - unneeded second book…didn’t really add anything. That being said I did cry.

Happy Place by Emily Henry (2.5/5) - this is controversial but this is my least favorite Ms.Henry book…main love interests were irritating but the friends plot line was great.

Everytime you Hear That Song by Jenna Voris (3/5) - idk it was cute, but I kinda only was interested in the singer’s plot but yeah.

A Love Most Fatal by Kath Richards (3/5) - Mafia book but the woman is the mafia? Yeah I can get on board with that. It’s basically a mafia fic (positive).

Day Dreaming by Hannah Grace (3.75/5) - I love Henry so so so much but the main girlie’s perspective got on my nerves a bit. I still love you Hannah Grace.

Fantasy YA

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller (0/5) - full offense if you liked this book I can’t imagine reading this and thinking “wow what a fully realized book with good characters and plot”…

Powerless by Lauren Roberts (0/5) - I actually haven’t finished reading this because it is like nails on a chalkboard. Off brand Katniss and basic YA plot with a love triangle.

These Hollow Vows by Lexi Ryan (1/5) -i predicted everything that happened in this book…basic YA with a love triangle (who else is shocked?/j)

How to Fake it With the Fae by Amy Boyles (1/5) - this one was so stupid that it might be camp.

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros (2/5) - basic YA but I enjoyed the horny dragons for the bit…not reading anymore of this tho.

Historical Fiction

An Offer from a Gentleman by Julia Quinn (1/5) - I had a lot of issues with this book but Benedict you are still one of my favs

The Benevolent Society of Ill-Mannered Ladies by Allison Goodman (3/5) - I enjoyed this book honestly! Plot was great just doesn’t stand out to me.

- also full respect to all of the authors or people who enjoy these books; I just have a different opinion <3

-realizing I appreciate fully developed fantasy worlds and characters that don’t rely on a man or “discovering an insane power”. The cookie cutter template needs to be broken!

[glassamphibians]

here are nico-centric fun facts:

• dionysus fills they’re pseudo-therapy sessions with theater exercises he’ll be like “for the next hour you can only respond with ‘yes, and—‘” and nico just has to deal with it or face dolphin threats. sometimes mr d is just doing it to see what nico is willing to put up with <3 he is awful :)

• if they aren’t talking during meals they are talking during a card game and they are both cheating so much for no reason

• if nico is hanging out in his cabin there is a 90% chance the door is open

• he sings & talks to himself when he’s alone

• once he figures out audiobooks he listens to them obsessively

• LOVES nonfiction so much most of the books he reads are abt v niche historical concepts

• for fiction he enjoys political scifi & fantasy but as soon as it gets super Magicy questy he’s like “this is lame i fight monsters all the time 🙄”

• he likes The Idea of YA & contemporary books but often gets frustrated bc of how many modern things he’s just expected to Know. like he’ll give it a shot but having to ask someone something like “what’s a superbowl” twice every chapter can get annoying </3

• if he can tape something to a wall it is going on a wall there are recipts & movie tickets & sticky notes & drawings & posters & anything that reminds him of his friends :) it also breaks up the Overbearing Pitch Black Of Cabin Thirteen which is nice

• he v much enjoys hiking & Being Outside sometimes he will just shadowtravel w/ will & be like “we’re exploring these woods now.” will just has to be like ok. what state r we in tho.

• likes swimming as long as his feet can touch the ground. Will Not put his head underwater

• annabeth is his brain game buddy they play lots of geoguesser & jeopardy & chess together

• ik ive said this one before but he buys hazel So Many Things when she visits chb there’s always a pile of stuff he thinks she’d like

• nico has a v complicated relationship w/ catholicism that he can never really figure out! he is a very All or Nothing kind of person so i find putting him in situations where he has to live in a grey area very fun

• he will not share camp gossip but he Will exploit it during capture the flag

[bulletnotestudies]

I’d love to hear your lgbtq+ book recs!!

I hope you have a lovely weekend as well!

well now you've opened pandora sabrina's box asgdbhjq

okay firstly, lemme just link u to some recs we've previously compiled in the studyblr w/knives server: top 2021 books, lgbtq+ main character, trans main character (more recs incoming next month ;))

and now, to single out some recent(ish) faves: (cut bc this is long)

exciting times (n. dolan) - contemporary fiction they say this is the closest it gets to sally rooney but i haven't read any of her books so i wouldn't know about that. i would, however, know that i absolutely love the writing in this one - barely anything happens and i rarely like plotless books and yet here i am, tabbing the hell out of this book

gideon the ninth (t. muir) - sci-fi horror fantasy it took a little for me to get used to the writing but oh. my. god. it destroyed me in the best way possible and i already have the sequel on my shelves, waiting till after finals to dig in (very much recommend it - feel free to dm me and i can tell u more)

the charm offensive (a. cochrun)* - contemporary rom-com this had the lovely vibes red, white & royal blue has; i read it in a day and had a blast, it also has a main character of color and neurodiverse rep!

the six of crows duology (l. bardugo) - ya fantasy you surely already know abt it, but it's among my all time absolute faves so of course i have to mention it

the raven cycle (m. stiefvater) - ya urban fantasy same reason as with soc lol

things have gotten worse since we last spoke (e. larocca)* - conteporary epistolary horror horror indeed. chilling, gripping, delightfully horrifying and fucking disgusting - i probs won't ever be rereading but man, it was a ride

damaged like us (b.&k. ritchie)* - contemporary romance is this the height of literature? certainly not. but did i enjoy it and read it at lightning speed? i did. i really did.

the house in the cerulean sea (t.j. klune) - urban fantasy a hug in book form. reading this feels like being bundled up in ur fave blanket, sipping your fave hot beverage and Vibing™

hepdale rain trilogy (c. paul)* - ya urban fantasy i don't like werewolf stories. these books tho? had me in a chokehold. the characters are amazing, the writing is lovely af, and each book is better than the last.

the atlas six (o. blake)* - urban fantasy some ppl hated this but me? it made me go absolutely insane. i was making inhumane noises as this took my heart and twisted it in like 5 diff dimensions, 5 stars, immediate new fave.

top secret (e. kennedy, s. bowen)* - contemporary romance kinda a frat house you've got mail au. shameless smut ngl. a great pick if u just want sth quick, super non-demanding to read while getting over a book that ruined u lol

him (e. kennedy, s. bowen)* - contemporary sports romance same as the previous, just with the hockey gays flavor this time.

cemetery boys (a. thomas) - ya urban fantasy this. book. asdfsdghfjkl. my poor heart. just sweet and so soft, but at the same time amazing at tackling themes like your identity and belonging and culture and

simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda (b. albertalli) - ya contemporary romance a classic by this point, but i read it in 2018 and def wanna reread :')

heartstopper (a. oseman) - ya contemporary romance the graphic novel that stole our hearts <3 also go watch it on netflix everyone (if u want to Emote be consumed by warmth)

the magic between (s. hoyt) - magical realism romance this wasn't exactly a fave, but the dedication reads "for all the bisexuals out there - this one's for you." and yes. the bisexual rep this world deserves

*contains (varying degrees of) graphic sexual content

okay i'll stop with that for now, feel free to ask for more literally any time. but bc i cannoT shut up and you have been warned, here are some fantastic lgbtq+ books i have on my tbr (recs courtesy of my friends with superb reading tastes):

the darkness outside us (e. schrefer) - ya sci-fi romance my preordered paperback is on its way as we speak

in the dream house (c. m. machado) - non fiction a memoir that apparently doesn't read as non fiction and tackles multiple incredibly important topics

if we were villains (m. l. rio) - contemporary mystery i won't even say anything, this has been on my tbr for 6 years and that's that.

summer sons (l. mandelo) - urban fantasy (magical realism?idk) this was pitched to me as "the raven cycle but darker and more unhinged". sold immediately lmao

heated rivalry (r. reid) - contemporary sports romance hockey gays with a lot of angst

crush (r. siken) - poetry

iron widow (x. j. zhao) - sci-fi

the starless sea (e. morgenstern) - urban fantasy

19 days (o. xian) - manga

the gilded wolves trilogy (r. chokshi) - historical fantasy

if you have any recs for me (any genre), definitely do drop them in my asks or dms and if you ever run out of books of a specific genre to read or just wanna scream about a book, you know where to find me ✨

[burningdarkfire]

books i read in july 2022

[these are all short + casual reviews - feel free to msg me and ask about individual ones if u want a full review or ask for my goodreads!!] 

not gonna lie rereading gideon & harrow put me into a reading slump because simply nothing else could live up!! we are deep in august and i am STILL thinking about them 🤠

comfort me with apples - catherynne m. valente ★★★★☆ (horror)

this is just a short novella so it’s kind of hard to talk about without spoilers but i do think that valente is my fave author in the fairytale/storybook style and this was no exception! an interesting little mash-up of ideas that was right up my alley personally

harrow the ninth - tamsyn muir ★★★★★ (scifi)

the gideon reread was mostly fun for me but the harrow reread destroyed my soul 💀 it’s so different reading it and actually understanding it and i just literally have not stopped thinking about it. i can’t recommend enough just reading it again if you didn’t “get” it the first time!!

more than this - patrick ness ★★★★☆ (YA scifi)

patrick ness has got to be one of my fave YA authors. very classic YA emotional core, which is very nice to read sometimes when it’s pulled off well (as this was). slow at times but the scifi concepts really push you to think, and i love how he never gives us easy answers

the angel of the crows - katherine addison ★★★★☆ (historical fantasy mystery)

this is literally published sherlock wingfic. the added supernatural elements are interesting but not the focus, so it really is about reliving the ACD sherlock mysteries - extremely fun for me but i suspect this is not a book for everyone. this “watson” was interesting as both a standalone and an adaptation

the deeper the water the uglier the fish - katya apekina ★★★★☆ (contemporary)

i don’t want to be the guy in my friend group who’s always the only person excited by the fucked up contemporary litfic but like .. yeah this is that and i liked it 🤷‍♂️ fucked up families where you get multiple POVs and learn how their shared family history leads to their individual personal struggles are my jam

the mysterious study of doctor sex & as yet unsent - tamsyn muir ★★★★☆ (scifi)

read (dr sex) and reread (ays) of the two locked tomb short stories. i liked as yet unsent quite a lot more but I’d never complain about more sixth house

delilah green doesn’t care - ashley herring blake ★★★★☆ (romance)

the romance was fine for me but this book does have a very uptight perfectionist bitchy side character whose name is astrid and i LOVED her. i am actually excited to read the second book in a romance series because she is the protag for the next one!!

a master of djinn - p. djèlí clark ★★★☆☆ (historical fantasy)

a book that was truly The Most 3 stars. so completely fine that i kind of wish i’d DNF’d it. the actual plot/mystery was poorly constructed but the world-building was beautiful and generally made up for it

night sky with exit wounds - ocean vuong ★★★☆☆ (poetry)

ehh, i just didn’t connect much with this one personally. some good wordplay and i highlighted a few lines but it was just alright

the vegetarian - han kang ★★★☆☆ (horror)

this book was so hard for me to a) finish and b) meaningfully review. there are three segments that are pretty distinct from each other and i found the first two brutally miserable to read for different reasons, but the book definitely does cohere, so i’m sure other people would get a lot from it

the flatshare - beth o’leary ★★★☆☆ (romance)

i’m a bad romance reader and i’m sorry to all of my friends who thought this was the cutest shit ever. the female main character had no genuine personality traits and the male main character didn’t grow a single bit and i have no clue why they even like each other beyond each of them being an upgrade from their exes. but i do see the concept and understand why romance likers would have fun with this book. it’s just not me tho!

wider than the sky - katherine field Rothschild ★★☆☆☆ (contemporary)

the blurb lured me in with promises that it was about an adult polyam relationship and how that relationship changed the family but instead i just read a terrible YA contemporary with a super unlikable main character who was just dealing with “normal” high school shit the entire time and for some reason even though her dad was polyamorous i still had to deal with an awfully written love triangle

unprecedented: canada’s top ceos on leadership during covid-19 ★★★☆☆ (non-fiction)

i got this book for work and read a couple of sections before donating it. mostly it was just similar to internal messaging but it was more political than i was expecting at points. ehhh

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

[pwnyta]

Some Pokemon doodles at 3 in the morning as ya do.

Arceus’ shiny little reapers. Yanmask, Drifloon, Mimickyu, and Shedinja.

Gellers babies are ready for the cold weather. As am I. Delilah has some objections but Dillas never seen the seasons change and hes excited for snow. Hes adjusting well to the modern era and a new family.

After coming to terms with his sudden blast into the future and learning that murdering your kingdom rivals is frowned upon Omar has begins to adjust to the modern world. He says ‘thanks I hate it.’ (So many new foods are worth the trouble tho.)

The Chi crew: The glasses theyre wearing are (mostly) for intel/communication.

Gadget is the big boss lady of the Chi crew. She has a bit of a gamer temper while working where she will seem like shes all fun and games but she will throw a controller or punch a hole in the wall... When shes not busy she spends her time in Pjs and a good book.

Anisos is perfectionist inventor. He made his own Porygon named Two (dont ask what happened to ‘One’), He introduced Two to a dubious disk and Two not wanting to disappoint It’s creator agreed to use it but it really scrambled poor Two up. Anisos feels endlessly guilty about it and vows to care for and protect Two until he cant anymore. (Two is actually significantly stronger than Anisos, but its the thought that counts.)

Tripwire is a sensitive little android. After Its last upgrade Its personality might have gotten a little messy but the power and intelligence boost was worth it (for Its job... maybe not so much for Itself). Trip is a little twitchy and often repeats Itself but is a kind droid, It sticks close to The Creator (Anisos) despite Anisos’ insistence It can do as It pleases and encourages independence.

Trip before the disk^ It replaced It’s legs because theyre lighter now and its easier to float. It barely ever walks anymore.

Deep Blue is a mute (not really) member of the crew... who also works in Deoxys’ lab, Dex thinks hes highly suspicious but he gets his work done without issue so he just keeps an eye out and lets him be. Because hes quiet others tend to enjoy his placid company not realizing he likes to gather info and will use it against anyone he must. Probably the most ruthless of the Chi gang.

Grey is a bit of an over achiever and thinks Gadget isnt that great of a boss so is gunning for her position. Shes very organized but super inflexible in her thinking which puts her at odds with some of her contemporaries. She has a particularly hard time dealing with Trip whos the hottest of messes.

THESE GUYS EXIST.... IDK if im satisfyied with their design... WIP. Maybe. Or I’ll get over it. Bugsy, Diplo, Cross and Uda--v

Kappa crew is about done... the little degen weirdo crew.

The Phi crew:

AH HAHA! TO think I was like imma draw a nice colored image of the Phi crew.

I did this dumb drunk twink and was over it.

Is this the appearance of a believable spy?

And the higher up Psi crew.

Hermann and Leon were friends as kids and lost touch but found themselves in the same crew! Hermann is quite surprised his old buddy is now in this line of work but hes happy to have him and will beat the ass of anyone who messes with him just like the good ol days!

Mosaic hates being on Psi division because Father Mistletoe and Perma are three crazy weirdos and Parallax stole the only other fun crewmate (Decibel) and she cant even complain about it because Father will absolutely kick her ass. He dont care. If only she can be in Kappas crew.

Father, Mistletoe, and Perma I think Ive posted about before so ... w/e

[kpopmakesmequestionmylifechoices]

Kingdom Round 3: Best episode so far, and here's why.

I've seen many people being upset about the episode, about the voting, the experts, the amount of members per unit - So I started watching with a very bad feeling. But you know what, this was the best episode out of all so far. It showed people having fun with each other, having fun with creating music and performances, it showed passion and a unified love for music. What more could you want?

Frankly said, I absolutely lost the overview about the voting and how the rounds are organized and tbh, I won't care about those things anymore and just focus on the perfomances because ain't nobody got time to figure out this mess. We can't change the way MNET operates, we can't change that fans fight with each other, but we can focus on just enjoying what those idols present to us. Idk about you but I'll enjoy the few upcoming episodes without caring for all that unnecessary drama.

But let's get started with the two rap units.

Bobby | Sunwoo | Hwiyoung: First of all, mentor Bobby is just endearing. Loved their chemistry during this entire segment, and I loved their energy on stage. They just were enjoying themselves and putting out what they really felt, that's how I perceived it. I'm truly no intellectual when it comes to rap because I have no idea of such things, but I simply enjoyed it as it was. It felt swag af, it felt hip-hop af, and I totally bought this because they sold the vibe like a boss.

Minhyuk | 3RACHA | Hongjoong: My goodness this was so enjoyable. Their chemistry, how cuddly and soft they are with each other, how they just constantly were bright and joyful, loving their job? That's the content I signed up for. The meaning behind their song was just freaking amazing, Bang Chan's part hit me tho, as well as Minhyuk's "We bleed the same colour". Powerful. Meaningful. 10/10. Also not at me constantly falling for Hongjoong because he got this special aura only he radiates

Now to the dance unit.

DK | Juyeon | Taeyang: Haha they were so awkward and shy with each other tho. The fact that in particular the rather calm members came together for this unit was hilarious, but it also showed in their perfomance. It was very gentle and pretty. My problem is, as always with rather abstract stuff, I didn't necessarily understand much. I understood that the Queen died, that the king grieved for her and eventually went low-key crazy. Didn't get the ending tho. In conclusion, contemporary styled dances are not my cup of tea, but that's personal preference. They did a great job, worked well together and created an original choreography.

Peniel | Felix, Minho, I.N | Yunho, Wooyoung, San, Seonghwa, Yeosang: First of all, the chemistry once again was so so so so good! When I saw them in the practice room and later on stage, I simply thought: They could debut exactly like that. At times I was highly distracted by the audio because it sounded extremely good to me, they did a great job in my eyes I vote Minho for main vocal lol also pls San's voice was so low here omg The concept was well ... (were)wolves eating people and ripping each other apart, and that worked pretty well for me. I liked how they seemed like one entity on stage, and that move with Felix and Wooyoung was so cool man.

The two remaining perfs will be in next week's post, as always. But in general I can say, this was the episode I enjoyed the most (even more than the sports episode last week), because it was full of teamwork, passion, and joy. For the first time all members seemed to have more fun than they felt pressured, and that's simply what I was looking for in this entire show. Also the fact they barely used any stage props was just amazing to me because I finally could properly focus on what they actually performed. Thanks for reading ya all, and I hope you had as much fun as I had!

[posthungergamessyndrome]

so here’s my long overdue review of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes that no one asked for. I finally read the book, well listened to the audiobook, coz i dunno how to read a book anymore. 

This book was everything I expected it to be and also not. Definitely the first two parts was easily predictable, we all kinda assumed that was the general arc that story would take. So while I found the first two parts enjoyable, learning more about the history of the games and learn more of Capitol, i wasn’t really hooked until the third part.

But let me say this first tho, Ms. Suzanne Collins, you never disappoint. Also I have questions and I hate that she wasn’t able to go on a book tour (I haven’t read her Q&A tho). 

I still have the same qualms as i did about the prequel as i did before I read it. While I get the early records of the games were shoddy, and the 10th Hunger Games was erased but for one copy hidden in some vault, that doesn’t matter, what matter is Snow knows.

So If Snow had that relationship with the Games and Lucy, the first victor of d12, a lot of the decisions he made in the trilogy made no sense.

I get it, he wanted to forget, it’s decades until Katniss came along. While there might be parallels, Lucy and Katniss are very different characters. But all I can think off is the reason he didn’t kill Katniss sooner, was it really because she would end up a martyr or rallying cry for the district, which happened anyways, or he was practically disassociating the moment Katniss was reaped?

Were Katniss and Peeta unintentionally triggers to so many of his hidden traumas that’s why he made so many misteps? Katniss singing the meadow song to Rue, triggered. Peeta mentioning the Valley song, triggered. Mockingjay, triggered. The Hanging Tree, triggered. 

Was he so busy crying in the shower that he wasn’t able to stop Seneca Crane from making bad calls during the 74th Games? Two winners from the same district, would Snow really okay’d that himself?

And also, I’ve always thought that anything he did towards Peeta was coz he wanted to hurt Katniss. But no, he wanted to hurt that boy. Peeta reminds him of his young self, at least the young person everyone saw him as, charming, smart, and loyal. And in a way, had Peeta been born in the Capitol and was among Snow’s contemporaries, Snow would have seen him as his ultimate rival. 

Coz Snow was smart and knows how to manipulate people, but Peeta does it a lot better and a lot more successfully. With Snow, it’s right in front of his face and he still misses it. Often he is so close to getting it. How could he not have thought of the star-crossed lovers angle? How??  When one Peeta Mellark thought of it?

Which idk if there’s fanfics of that yet, but I need to read them asap, Katniss and Peeta and teen Snow, make it happen.

(But I was looking at my notes and I wrote probably the reason Snow didn’t think of the star crossed lovers angle because it was about his survival not about Lucy’s. Lucy was at best, seen as his possession. Even at the moments he was honestly in love with her, he still saw her as someone belonging to him only. )

Snow had two relationships going on: with Sejanus and with Lucy. I did find his relationship with Sejanus more interesting, because I think it’s that relationship that shaped him more that his relationship with Lucy.

I did like and even at some points enjoyed their Slytherin-Hufflepuff BFFship going on, coz despite how Snow let us know what he really thinks versus what he actually says, he was drawn to protect Sejanus, even though he’s reluctant about it or insist that he was made to do it or it’s also to benefit himself.

And I’m not saying there’s queerbaiting in this book, but certain pairings in this book makes more sense to ship than Johanna and Katniss. 

With Lucy, i know many were wary or didn’t want Snow to have a relationship with her. For me i was open to it, at least intrigued to see where it will go or how will it be handled. 

Honestly while it is still better written than most YA romances, I found it very insta-love. Again, my sense of timeline in this novel might be different coz I was listening to the audiobook instead of reading it, but they fell in love pretty quick. 

While listening to the audiobook, i thought, if their  relationship is at this point it must have been weeks since the reaping and the games haven’t started yet, and then Snow says it’s just been five days. They were making out I think by day 3 or something. 

Maybe because I knew they relationship was doomed from the start and we know how Snow ends up, I was amused by certain moments in their relationship, coz all I can think about it is, oh honey no. 

but also, I am mad that Ms. Collins is capable of writing amazing fluff moments in the midst of a dystopian world, and she wastes them on Snow and Lucy? Where was all that for Katniss and Peeta? i was given crumbs in the trilogy, Snow and Lucy made out so many times, at one point I even thought they were going to sleep together, like how dare you Ms. Collins.

For the many years we debated the meaning behind The Hanging Tree, Ms Collins, said no hun, this is what the songs means, let me tell you it’s origin story. And omg Suzanne, that was fucked up. Thanks.

One of the things I was worried about for this prequel is that while it is set in the future, the messages in it will seem outdated because a lot has changed since the trilogy came out. 

But she wrote this book well before it was announced in 2019, before it was released in 2020, but she still made it very relevant for today and I think the messaging of this prequel would be more resonant in the future, like the trilogy is.

She touched upon how we really value children, and that immediately reminded me of school mass shootings and how we haven’t done anything about it. She lives in Sandy Hook when the shooting happened so this makes sense she makes a statement about it. And now we are sending kids to school in a middle of a pandemic for political reasons not because we are concerned about their education. 

And there’s also mentions of a pandemic in a middle of a war,  let’s say it was a whole mental experience alternating between listening to the audiobook and watching the news on January 6. 

I also loved the lines: “why do people think the only thing they need for a revolution is anger?” and “we pour money into industries not people.”

While it’s almost unbelievable that the modern hunger games was merely a student group project by a bunch of privileged rich kids and one person who thinks slavery is okay ended up writing the whole thing anyways, that’s basically how this country and our system of governance was founded. 

Dr. Gaul is also every Security and Development professor I had in grad school who teaches that war never ends and it’s not about winning it’s about control to a class of future leaders at the state department, white house, and pentagon. i mean, it’s the cornerstone of US foreign policy since end of WW2.

While also listening to this book, I am dead sure that Suzanne could write a different version of Catching Fire where Katniss and Peeta were mentors and they uncover the hidden 10 hunger games tape, and it still will be a be hella of a story.

It also makes sense that the two characters that could possibly tell us or Katniss the connection of Snow to Lucy were the ones who can’t talk: Mags and Tigris. 

obviously lucy ended up in 13, possibly related to Alma Coin coz where else will she get that personal hatred against Snow? 

Snow could have at least picked Clemensia or Lys, but Livia? i guess make sense since her offspring ended up being Plutarch’s assistant. 

I feel like if i read the prequel before the trilogy, it would be a different reading experience. But at the same time, Snow, while he had his moments, is an unlikeable character even as an anti-hero, and his moral stand point is something i dont agree with, coz you know, he’s basically a republican. it’s like reading a book about a young Mitch McConnell, doesn’t matter if the system hurt him sometimes, as long as it hurts others more and keeps him in control, and i gag. I don’t think i would finish reading the prequel if i started with it instead of the trilogy. 

but it does solidifies my theory that Snow’s evil is not because he is out of touch with the rest of panem, he knows suffering that’s why he knows how to exploit it. He is not oblivious to the problems, but he arrived at different conclusions or convictions, because again he supports the system that controls his enemies, even if the system is cruel to him too. Again, a Republican. Don’t be one, don’t date one. 

I do wonder tho if he made good with champagne tuesdays when he became president. 

I don’t see how this prequel works as a movie adaptation tho, even if turned into three parts. It makes more sense for it to be a series, so if lionsgate hasn’t declared bankruptcy before they can adapt this into screen, maybe with the state of movies right now due to the pandemic, they will be more convinced to make this into a series for Netflix or to launch their own streaming service.    

[lovphobic]

9, 10,17, 13 15 16 28, 47 48 50 31 32 26 19 🤬👉🏻👈🏻

dont 🤬👉🏻👈🏻 me wtf bro

9: YA, NA, or Adult? Why?

new adult definitely... i still read a lot of ya but like.. its getting boring and repetitive like dam do yall not have anything better to do :(

10: Sci-Fi or fantasy? Why?

MMMMM i dont really know about either to be honest - i havent really read any scifi yet (but i have a few on my tbr !!!) and i dont. Love fantasy? i dont mind it but its like. my least fave of the genres ive read. so i cant give an honest answer without bias on this one </3

13: Name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaption

i havent read or seen it but i hear the pjo movies are bad

15: What book changed your life?

this question ALWAYS GETS ME bc i dont really know what 'life changing' means... like did it actually change ur life or did u just like it A LOT. i guess ill say the freedom writers diary. it didnt Change My Life TM but it gave me. perspective

16: If you could bring three books to a deserted island which would you bring and why?

ah. "whats your favorite book" reformatted. id probably bring the city we became by nk jemisin (havent read it yet), the night circus by erin morgenstern and the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson (also havent read this one yet, but its small and it'll save my sanity with two other big books)

17: If you owned a bookshop what would you call it?

well. how not to make this sound cringey. im not good with named. probably smth stupid like last bookshop on earth or wtv. idk. bad question gi KJGHFDKJGFDJ

19: Which character from a book is the least like you?

any rich character or any villain take ur pick

26: If you could be a character from a book for their entire life who would you be and why?

ROUGH fuckin question. probably either lara jean/belly from either of jenny han's trilogies or maybe olive varanakis from love & olives. tuff pic

28: How many books have you read so far this year?

17 :-) very nice considering i had a major eye surgery in february

31: Who is your favorite contemporary author?

UGHHHh stephanie perkins i think. absolute instabuy idc idc but i also rly love jenny han. i just mentioned her tho so NEXT

32: Who is your favorite fantasy author?

again. i dont read much. usually when i do tho its leigh bardugo

47: What do you do to get out of a reading slump?

die. jk uhhh i try to read shorter books? that or i just let the slump take its course and dont read for like 2-3 months

48: Where is your favorite place to read?

UGH outside. i love reading outside sm but i dont do it often bc Sunlight exists

50: Why do you love to read?

no deep profound answer. just one of lifes little joys. little pleasures. i like stories :^)

[cmescapade]

Two Types (3/3): “Weird Roommate” Household

@aniraklova​

[Spooky / Punk]

Adelaide Jordan, (City Native) Dance Machine, Ambitious, Glutton

she used to live in san myshuno n worked as a dance instructor

her favorite classes to teach included contemporary and tap 

she doesn’t live in san my anymore since.......................the accident

vaguely remembers her apartment being on fire

not rly sure what happened after

ya she’s somewhat of a zombie ok 

currently lives in glimmerbrook w her quirky little roommate who takes too many naps

kind of concerned w how tiny her roommate is n why she doesnt rly eat much

esp when she herself is hungry ALL THE TIMe 

shes got weird cravings for meat 

prob bc she’s a ZOMBie (she doesn’t kno that tho)

luckily she gets fresh meat at ??? in the morning!

not sure how tho, she kinda blacks out n it appears

[Goth / Bimbo]

Azure Jeong, (Rennaisance Sim) Goofball, Cheerful, Lazy

she ate half of a spell book bc she was told to “consume more literature” 

she didn’t eat all of it bc she got tired of chewing 

then she became a spellcaster bc she ate it !

idk leftover magic in the book made her magical or sumn idk

she doesn’t rly know how to do magic

stuff just happens

like casually summoning a deceased dance teacher from san myshuno bc she wanted to watch the season finale of ‘dancing with the stars’

now they’re roommates ! 

ya they kind of just accepted things bc neither of them could figure out what happened so......................roommates !

saw her new, semi-deceased roommate eating ppl the other day

thinking about how shes able to eat the bones too made her head hurt

so she took a nap!

this happens every day

[queerbra-rian]

REVIEW ; ALL FOR THE GAME SERIE - By. NORA SAKAVIC

------

⚠ Trigger Warning : The book talk about lot of drug use, of overdosing, underage drinking, loss of a loved one, suicide, there's also mention of cutting, drugging someone, jokes about rape, physical abuse, talk of past parental abuse, ableist insults, homophobic slurs (the f word), and use of the r word. Be aware of this before reading. It’s also as spoiler free as it can be.

Genre: YA, Contemporary, sports, fiction, gangster, romance, mlm,

Pages:

1) 237 (book 1)

2) 423 (book 2)

3) 556 (book 3)

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

All for the Game is a 2013 book series by Nora Sakavic. The story revolves around the Palmetto State Foxes, an NCAA Exy team with the main plot being centered around Neil Josten, a kid on the run from his mob boss father. It is primarily a sports story and follows a storyline typical of the genre—with added drugs, violence, and gangsters.

Main character Neil Josten is in hiding, on the run from his mob boss father. He's a Consummate Liar who's just trying to lie low, but when he plays Exy for his latest high school, he somehow catches the attention of David Wymack, head coach of a Class I college team. He shouldn't say yes to the offer, but he does—and is instantly plunged into a world of tangled relationships, shady deals, lots of violence, and The Power of Friendship.

The series consists of three books:

The Foxhole Court

The Raven King

The King's Men

---

REVIEW:

Oh man. Where do I start with this. Probably with the beggining as to why do I read the all for the game serie, since its a 2013 novel ? Because well, I saw it plastered everywhere since day one on instagram. And the curious side of me wanted to dive deeper into it. At first, I wasn't sure about it and would gladly skip it, because gangster story and sports wasn't at all my thing (mind y'all that I now have 3 sports + lgbt YA book yet to read in my tbr since I've started TFC) but what a mistake ! I now consider myself a fox, even bought the paperback copies (lol I know) and I ship a lot of thing in that book. For this review though, i'll try and go as spoiler free as I can.

First of all, I love Exy. Even tho it doesn't make any sense at all, as a sport itself, I found myself imagining everything perfectly. Like imagine LaCrosse, but with hockey's violent part and that is amazing. That's how I pictured Exy and that's how I would play it. But let's put that aside in favor of talking about the cast. What I have to say first is that I didn't know you could put so much side story in a book without it being too much ! Every or so key character got their own moment of glory through the serie and that's amazing. You could believe the whole plot would be centered around Neil Josten, as the synopsis is implying, but no! it became from time to time more a snippet of the other of the team and man that is story telling and character developpement at its finest.

I won't lie, my first impression of the book would have been, as I saw a lot of fantastic fanart that would imply it, that Neil and Andrew would fall in love together in the cheekiest way possible and then they would be okay together and live happily ever after, but how I was wrong and how I ship it ! I want more story with a clingy but not so much relationship ! (But maybe not centered around abuse, because that suck).

Anyway, I will try to summarize everything in less than an actual book and start with the main plot. It's actually an awful start of a plot, since we talk about a runaway child being signed in the worst team of the Class I exy team. (And the fuck how they magically start to win everything after Neil arrival and despite everything that happen to them between the three books. How do they do that ?! ) then come into the equation the Edgar Allan's Raven. A whole team of archnemesis to the Foxes. Dun dun Duuunn !

For most part, Exy is useless for the main plot and just an unpleasant distraction from the important part, which is Riko Moriyama being an assbutt and Kevin Day a crybaby. Okay no. They are, but it's far more complicated than that. The more I wrote down that review, the more I realise that the plot is sh*t, but what makes this story interesting is the craving to know what the fuck is happening, from this constant need to believe that the love affair between Neil and Andrew is going to end in something completly different that the unholy thing it is in the first few half of the two first book. (We are far from this bullcrap of hater to lover rag, since it's more about Andrew and Neil’s relationship is based around physical expressions of affection and respect, as opposed to verbally lovey dovey stuff) to the need to know if one of them is going to get killed (hint; there is definitly some killing involved, this is a damn gangster story after all)

I gave it 5 stars because it got me hooked, not because that's the best story ever. Mind y'all, because AFTG serie is just like reading an AU fanfic, well kinda. But probably because of the character developement. As I said earlier in this exact review, I love how everyone has their part of the story, even Riko and Jean at some point, that are in the opposite team (the baddies). I also love how you unravel certain mystery through the books. It's not about a reckless teenager afraid of living, but about a whole group (team) being challenged by life and the weight that carry each of them.

Is it worth reading? I'd say yes, because it get better. Surprisingly, I want another book too. Just for the sake of knowing what would happen at court.

Notable quote:

“It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you.”

[dillydedalus]

april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down...  i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

[karamazovdmitri]

1, 3, 27 for book asks!

1. What’s the last book you read? What did you think of it? omg does it count if its a reread? im going to say it does lol, so its metro 2033! if anyone followed me in 2015 you remember i was extremely hyped about it (my reading tag is still there btw lol) and absolutely loved it, then i reread it 2 or 3 years ago, still loved it and GUESS WHAT? still love it this time around, its pretty impressive how well it stands the test of time tbh. truly this reread is reinforcing with me how much its one of those “take what you love of the lore and run away with it” kind of books, just because the author umm loves misery honestly? its SO tragic and sad like more than i can handle so yeah LMAO no but truly its good and what i love about it its that its world-building done right. i love how it goes into details about more mundane stuff which tbh, is what i love. so yeah what can i say, still a huge recommandation on my part, its still good and im obsessed again lol

3. A book you found overhyped, and why

okay. help. i wasnt sure so i was like well ! lets look at like must read lists and whatnot yknow, bc i read classics and i dont tend to find them overhyped so i cant go in that avenue, and i dont read YA which tend to be the most popular genre on socmed and oh my god..... the first result i got is 1984 and on GOD? overhyped big time, first of all because of the blatant plagiarism, please read We, by Evgeny Zamyatin, which is the og™ dystopian novel from which 1984 “borrowed” a lot. but also yeah 1984 honestly i dont think provided that much ground for Thoughts and whatnot, like i def found it fairly heavy handed (then again. the whole genre tends to be like that but. 1984 goes REALLY heavy) and it’s just not the groundbreaking stuff we make it to be in my opinion, not to talk about the lukewarm characters and like unmemorable prose. yeah. for someone who loves scifi and has a hmm certain interest in dystopian fiction (tho not really first degree more like looking at what dystopias are telling about their authors and society™) yeah i find it . fairly empty lol. at least We has BANGING mathematic poetry and metaphors in it lmao

27. The book you’re embarrassed to admit you’ve read

okay this is... tricky bc like i want to say i probably havent felt EMBARRASSED embarrassed since my self conscious high school days even tho i probably have i just forgot LMAO so i will go on a slight tangent okay, back when i first got into russian literature i first read contemporary russian literature and oh my god. i read a book by a notorious nazbol but i had NO idea he was a nazbol and so i was so fucking confused by whatever ideology was going on in the book LMAO ashfjajfvasf i just cringe @ myself like do ur research next time...  also i guess while i was thinking, there IS a book that fits the original question lmao okay its called Oh, boy! my marie-aude murail and its like. young teen stuff?? idk its cheesy as hell and theres umm some like questionable stuff (just like. in terms of how sensitive topics are handled) but it got me SO emotionally involved lmfao i have to say

ask meme: lets talk books