#no I dont not respect you because I didnt tell you to start with 9

[omi-papus]

Im starting to genuenly dislike a certain subset of fanfiction readers because you can tell that they took the attitude of defending the creative and artistic merit of fanfiction, and twisted it into demanding profesional level quality from unpaid, usually young or underage authors and will bitch incesantly about how “non of the fics are good” when most of them are and even the meh to bad ones are a lot of fun. Like I love that we are respecting the incredible craftsmenship of some authors but you have failed as a fanfic reader when you stop viewing it as a comunity of similar people all taking a crack at some concepts and having fun and giving eachother feedback, to “Give me free bestseller novels, and if I see a spelling error you are a failure” in a space that is built to be safe to fail in. Especially when it starts then becoming about “acuracy” to the source material and internal logic of canon. And essentially judging fanfics as if they where oficial material made by profesionals.

Thats one thing I really did like about wattpad sometimes, is that nobody really gave a shit about minor quality checks, like if the only dialogue tag you ever used was “said” didnt matter at all as long as your plot was fun and went in a satisfying direction. (Spanish speaking fandoms had this on mass it was lit)

Like obviously you dont have to read every fic you see, I see emojis in the text and know its most likely not going to be fun and I drop it quite quickly after that. But like bruh Ive powered through that pet peeve because some of those fics turn out to be batshit insane and its the most entretaining thing Ive ever read.

That and 9 times out of 10, the people that have these expectations are readers that have never tried to write anything, and just become entittled because they have never actually participated in the fanfic space. And also a symptom of being in masive fandoms where they have a billion fics and can get supper picky and then decide that those types of fics are the only ones that should exist.

Ive seen, some of you fuckers bitch about second person POV when Y/N has built this nation and you need to respect her.

If I see another video thats like “When you find a completed long fic with the exact pairing, plot and tags you want… but it uses Italics to emphasize words🤮” Girl I will sell you to One direction myself if you dont stop talking shit.

[tortured-writers-parttime-poets]

[dumbass quirkless UA teacher izuku au]

just found this absolute gem in my notes app please guys i need more fics like this

dumbass quirkless UA teacher izuku au

dont let the dumbassery fool you, he's actually a genius. oh, also in this his hair started going white at 9, was fully white by 11. 

he lives in a shitty apartment on the edge of a red zone. he was kicked out at 12 years old because the rent wasnt paid, and hasnt seen his mother since he was 10. he has multiple phDs in social work, quirk counseling, psychology, and analysis. he also hacked the HPSC's and police's files of him to add in a teaching phD. and he's graduated high school digitally, though he's still 14. 

nedzu found him when he applied for the entrance exam and convinced him to be a teacher because he was overqualified to be a student. he teaches Analysis and Psychology, or A&P for short. 

he had 1A first. when he walked into the classroom he was wearing a plain black medical mask, a 'women love me fish fear me' hat, an oversized hello kitty sweater with aroace and agender pride pins, dark green cargo pants and one (1) hot pink croc with some dinosaur clips on it. oh, and black socks. he also had in one gold contact and one purple contact, which was revealed when he lifted his bangs to give iida a blank stare.

katsuki, who already knew(theyre friends in this), had to sit there and not laugh when izuku smack talked iida, introduced himself as Mr. Hands, presented their first assignment in the most fucked up confusing wording possible, threw glitter on them, then left through a vent in the ceiling. 

right before he made his exit tho, he turned to shouto and said 'oh by the way ur legal guardian is hawks and has been since u were five but neither of u knew until now but he should be here for when the end of day bell goes to pick u up,' then sent the poor kid a thumbs up, threw extra glitter (DINOSAUR glitter) on him and left. 

then shoto promptly burst into tears while  staring into space. katsuki collected both of their shit, tried to brush the worst of the glitter out of shoto's hair, then walked to the teachers lounge with shoto following him absentmindedly. 

oh, have i mentioned he was taught to fight by stain and eraserhead? seperately, of course. at the usj he promptly shoots off two of tomura's fingers, one on each hand, then him and eraser proceed to absolutely decimate the remaining villains, though eraser does more capture than killing. they wrap it up in record time, and still have plenty of time to go through each of the rescue activities. 

also in this chisaki is actually a good dad and isnt using eri for experiments, he's also kind of izuku's dad. him and nedzu actually somewhat get along and bond over their parental experiences. oh shit wait i didnt elaborate on nedzu yet-

nedzu and izuku are very close, the former considering the latter to be his son/kit. they often meet up in his office to chat, play chess, analyze things, etc. nedzu convinced izuku to move onto the ua grounds, then gave him the nicest apartment possible without it being too big, and gives him high paychecks, insisting it's because he's young and deserves/needs it.

the rest of the staff also have a somewhat familial bond, especially aizawa, snipe and recovery girl, but he fucking despises all might and doesnt bother to hide it. 

him and hawks are pretty close too, after everything with shoto. he's already got dabi figured out, and checks in with him consistently to make sure he isnt starving or in need of medical assistance, but hasnt told anyone out of respect. he does  however eventually convince him to tell hawks, so they start dating and live together. 

he got dabi excused of any and every crime he was accused of, though he was never convicted, and between him, hawks and nedzu manager to get him surgery for his scars so he is no longer a walking open wound. dabi and hawks now both have rights to shoto and thr kid does actually begrudging consider them father figures. 

he also figured aoyama out immediately and they made a plan to get him out, which involved aoyama requesting a meeting with AFO, izuku following him, AFO taking the quirk back and izuku shooting AFO, killing him. the blond is still a UA student and now izuku's personal student, plus part of their group. (katsuki, shoto, hitoshi, mei, and now yuuga)

once AFO is dead, he takes in tomura (and by extension kurogiri) meanwhile stain takes toga and spinner under his wing. despite tomura being like 6 years older he tends to think of izuku as his dad, though he only accidentally voiced it once and got so embarrassed he hasnt since. nedzu is just fucking ecstatic he has a grandkit.

the staff (-ass might) all take tomura under their wing pretty quickly, and after a bit so does 1A. 

each day izuku shows up in increasingly preposterous outfits and no one is willing to say anything for fear of losing a limb or two. the second day it was an oversized black t-shirt that says 'FUCK ENDEAVOR' in bold white text, long hot pink fuzzy paw gloves that go up to the ends of the sleeves, neon pink sweat pants tucked into chunky black platform boots with pink spikes, the same black mask and one of those bunny hats with the paws where if you squeeze them the ears go up. when he entered the building nedzu's cackling could be heard from outside his door. iida almost had a seizure. katsuki almost broke a rib holding his laughter. 

on the third day he showed up in a hooded skin tight sleeveless black turtleneck crop top  that said 'the birds work for bourgeoisie' is white font, baggy black cargo pants, forest green platform boots with heels, a matching green utility belt, the usual black mask, and elbow length black leather gloves. a lot of students realized some things about themselves that day. 

Aizawa sighed loudly when he showed up in a rainbow tie dye t-shirt with '"ur moms a hoe" ? bitch im an orphan' on it in boxy black text. then sighed again when he saw the pink fingerless gloves and heart glasses

[wormbloggign]

taylor stop lifting techniques and tactics from others challenge (impossible)

yeah.. you're a cloud of various insects, people arent looking to get in your way

taylor its not innate cmon you need to notice the swarm covering you isnt a comforting prescence for anyone but you

(also, if someone fights grue and wins, his darkness would dissipate. if they fight skitter and win, they have to deal with the many insects who are VERY pissed, and VERY unpredictable. it's simply a more extreme implicit threat than what grue has)

is she.. emulating coils convo tactics?

(TAYLOR STOP LIFTING OTHERS TECHNIQUES AND TACTICS CHALLENGE (IMPOSSIBLE))

to taylor the bugs are just her little guys, doing their best with what they got

to everyone else the bugs are spiders, flies, and wasps; vectors for poison, infection, and pain all organised by their thousands under a single cunning mind

its a very funny bit of dramatic irony (not the right term)

honestly surprised it took her this long to tell that to the PRT, taylors favourite pasttime is outing bad actors in their system

the funniest way to get immediately excecuted, ballsy move taylor

notably in those records she was telling the truth consistently, miss military seems to buy a little too much into armsmustards narratives

BY SUPPLYING RELEVANT CONTEXT TO THE SITUATION, DO YOU THINK STARVING PEOPLE WHO STEAL BREAD DESERVE JAILTIME FOR THEFT?????

(miss minutia seems very dogmatic in her beliefs of justice and criminality, kinda cringe ngl)

skitter im sorry to say but im pretty sure theyve known for a while now

they havent gone after your civillian identity yet because you havent really been findable as taylor herbert and in the rare cases you've gone out as taylor, they've had much bigger fish to fry

oh

that mustve taken a lot miss militia, i can respect that

2 ways to take this, either tattletales doing some mind games with how skitter is perceived or she wanted to get a better look at taylors butt

knowing lisa, probably both

oh yeah that too maybe

the bug pass over she does on people is very funny bc people almost definitely read it as a weapons check or an intimidation tactic but no, she just wants to know what the person she's talking to looks like

her face and eyes were covered in blood no wonder were more tense than normal "ooh why are people so unnerved around me" you look like a monster from a horror movie, you're walking around like you dont even need sight to know everything around you (she couldnt see regardless but they didnt know that)

oh theres no way they don't know her identity now

it takes one person with probably low to medium security access to hear that and go "gee, let me run a check to see if anyone with Skitters brown hair and skin colour (they wouldve seen at least that on the skitter clones, even outside how disfigured they were) matches with anyone who is blind or has been recently blinded" and then bam you find taylor with her school's recorded connection with Sophia/Shadow Stalker, her locker incident (possibly a trigger event?) her absences from school which start a couple days after skitters first appearance, line up with skitters activity AND escalate to 0% attendance once Skitter starts doing things like participating in the Endbringer event and soon after claims territory (a full time occupation seemingly), if you keep digging it seems she has moved out of her dad's house around the same time to an undisclosed house on the edge of town (no actual address given, possibly a misdirection), her father and all of his work friends survived (with minimal injuries) the Shatterbird announcement at the begining of the Slaughterhouse 9's occupation and they stayed alive for its entirety, And as a cherry on top, Taylors last 2 documented interactions with the public is Asssaulting a minor which was handled and doccumented by Shadow Stalker and COILS BOMBING where she was one of the survivors but was BLINDED, shortly after MYSTERIOUSLY DISSAPEARED with no release or transfer papers signed (or if they were, it'd be signed by Lisa W or an unknown third party)

OR

they could just ask dragon

...

that was kind of long sorry

back to the livebloggign!

(insert funny masking joke here)

sometimes i wonder if taylor has a death wish (hint: yes)

i sincerely doubt that. our girls tolerance for abuse is ridiculously high by now

the writer is fucking with me. the day we get a proper breakdown of anyones costume is the day hell freezes over

are we just gonna pretend that isnt deeply disturbing and violating?

eh, alright

taylor may know the kind of thing he saw but its very clear from how he's behaving, whatever he experienced has a lot harsher of a grasp on his psyche, probably because his trigger event and the context around it happened at such a vulnerable and young age

anyway hows that search for a villains therapist going? i really think they should invest in one

TATTLETALE YOURE GOING TO GET THE SECRET ASSASSIN SQUAD AFTER YOU PLEASE

lisa either never fucks around or never stops fucking around and i cant tell anymore

[fallish]

i will absoluely take this baton, thank you for tagging @fairlylokai 🥰

1 ) do you make your bed? the truth is i tried for a while and i still do try occasionally but a majority of the time it ends up with me sleeping on top of a comforter because my brain cant put together the effort to pull it back and actually get in. im going to go with no (despite the state of my very made bed that i am currently sitting on at the time of this post)

2 ) what's your favourite number? two-way tie between 58 and 87. iykyk ;)

3 ) what is your job? im a software developer, its kinda a boring title but im getting good at it!

4 ) If you could go back to school would you? it really depends on the day you ask me this one. like generally? fuck no, it was hell on my adhd. on a particularly self destructive day? yeah and i might finish a college application before deciding to sleep on any major life decisions (and then i wont do it! 10pm rule that shit!)

5 ) can you parallel park? yes! i used to be the only one of my friends who could but i live on a street with only parallel parking and i think theyre getting better at it :D

6 ) a job you had that would surprise people? i used to be a camp counselor for one summer! everyone used to always tell me id be bad with kids because i didnt really like them, and i actually tried failing this interview but i guess they needed people, so i got the job. i got on swell with the kids! uh. not so much with the other adults tho. i accidentally made the ice tea spiked at the end of the summer and needless to say i was not invited back. i look back on it fondly :)

7 ) do you think aliens are real? of course. its unthinkable that humans are the only ones around in the whole universe. as they say, life finds a way

8 ) can you drive a manual car? nope. dated a guy who did once, and im ngl i was kinda into it, but i never learned myself.

9 ) what's your guilty pleasure? k pop photo cards 🙈 while I agree that guilt is for the weak, I do think I spend an unreasonable amount of money on those

10 ) tattoos? not yet, but ive got plans. my mom is super against them so while im at home, i cant. when i move out tho, i really want to get a set of wings in honor of ffvii (the first video game i finished)

11 ) favourite colour? i like yellow, like the mustardy kind but im partial to green and black

12 ) favourite type of music? i spend a lot of my attention on the punk/rock so like fall out boy and mayday parade and i listen to a lot of indie shit like glass animals and basement punk like the front bottoms and mobo, and recently im into kpop, particularly zerobaseone. also! i suspenct that no matter what, if i like the rhythm of the rap put in front of me, its highly likely ill enjoy it

13 ) do you like puzzles? i like puzzles so much i made it my job! one could absolutely say i like puzzles lol, me and my sister used to do them a lot and for her last birthday i got her a 10 pack.

14 ) any phobias? im not fond of men with raised voices, but on a lighter note, i wont go more than 5 feet into the ocean because i grew up in jersey on movies like jaws that made me wuite scared of shark attacks

15 ) favourite childhood sport? i uh didnt play sports 🫡 i liked watching hockey though and i still watch nhl hockey now! so that might count?

16 ) do you talk to yourself? oh yeah. all the time. i cant do tasks if i dont talk myself through them. it might not be out loud all the time (i respect public spaces and the quiet associated with them) but theres a constant running monologue i promise.

17 ) what movie(s) do you adore? cheesy answer but i LOVE inception its one of my all time top 5 movies i could watch it in any mood and it would amaze me.

18 ) coffee or tea? i like both, i prefer tea, but im not allowing myself to have either right now. im trying to get myself off of caffeine again because i recently started going back to work and drinking more coffee and what do you know? my migraines made a comeback

19 ) first thing you wanted to be growing up? i wanted to be a famous singer, and sometimes i still want to make music but i dont know, i guess it got away from me at some point. i still make little singing audios and send them to my friends and my mom always says i have a nice voice so the dream stays alive :)

thanks again for tagging! im going to tag @doomcannotbethisadorable @alittlebitofrainbyyourside @sherlockholmeson and anyone who wants to do participate!!

[momiamtired]

i tremble and panic when remembering what my life will be. im scared and lonely and i dont want anything else, just to see my family and home. for some reason i feel like in mt first days here, and even then it wasnt that bad. im afraid of the idea that i have to get used to this. i don t find living in the apartments and going to work that scary but still just understanding of how life plays with me makes me feel misserable. oh how i wish i never looked up this university in google, when i was lying in my warm bed at the winter, excited, because i found western university that will bring me to my dreams and actually is afordable for my family. i feel so stupid and im so sorry dad i am you spend so much money on me and im not even grateful. this fucker oh fuck he asks if 2 pm is okay for me. i dont think any pm is okay for me. i think tomorrow will be horrible. i dont think he thinks of me in a romantic way, he has some chicks name in his user name sticker. i fucking hate him. but i wish he could comfort me. he probably doesnt care in the slightest ab me. for some reason i kinda feel like omori? is this a strange reference idk. well omori song just started playing so i thought of it. i feel like i dont really should be in this world. i want to come back to what it used to be. i guess a lot of people think about the same things but uh yeah. i guess tomorrows gonna be awful. i really dont want to see him espercially this early but i have to get out of the house, it will fucking eat me alive. i must have studied a lot today but ima lazy ass and cryed all day. i hate that the idea of crying is so normalized today. its like oooh i cried because of this dead pigeon!! wtf no i believe tears are not for this. people cry when they experience strong emotions. my other roommate is singing songs in the shower god i hate her. its 9 pm btw. she screams like a pig. sometimes she is nice and i truly believe she is a nice person. i still hate her and would like to see her dead. but no right now. im not that angry right now. when i think of my mom i start to cry. i miss her so much. it was always like this when i was a kid, i would always cry when i was at sleepovers. i dont know why, its a strange feeling. it is reallt strange. when im okay i dont even want to talk to her, its like i dont have a lot of stimuli to do so? but when i feel bad the only oerson i want to call is her. i guess shes the only one who i believe would reallt care. not even my best friend who i would always call the best person in my life. im just a bad person. when she tells me that something happened to her im always kinda happy it happened. its not always like this but sometimes i feel like oh lol ye u deserved it bc there is enough good in ur life. im just an awful always jelous person. i guess world would be a better place without people like me. people like me are the people who shoot schools. i would be happier if it uh fuck again its like when u remembering something like just spontaneus and u immediately start to cry and tremble and like idk feel bad? i feel so so so homesick. i didnt feel that homesick at the start and here i am after 3 months here. i really love my parents and actually my home i am so sorry that i never told anyone this or idk oh god im so so sorry i never respected never understood. i guess its just that im homesick and my home isnt that good but tbh i cant of a thing better rn than my home. fuck any other place. fuck heaven. i just wish i could my cat and my mom sitting and talking loud at 7 am when the sun is rising with her mom and she will make me awake and i will go and ask her to be quiet really angryshly and she will go to her room and i will try to sleep again but now i cant so i smoke my vape and browse through tiktok, lying in underwear and some t shirt, then my cat will come to me and start meowing for me to play with him, i will annoignly play alittle bit with him and then proceed to do my every day morning chores. but summer in my country when u have friends is amazing. i mean my city. okay i will end now to mush words

[bishiglomper]

It's not even 9 and I'm riled up

I woke up to a loud, confident "FUCKIN'-!"

It sounds like the nephew hurt himself. Which didn't actually trigger my anger because of the F word

Its because he said it so adamantly.

Which i then realized started last night.

Before then it would be a scream whisper, going "FAH" or "F'kin". Which irritated the shit out of me, but no, now that i think about it, he blatantly said FUCK several times last night with no shame.

And half the problem isnt even the goddamn F word! He always straight up verbally attacks and abuses us! And when we tell him to go away, he'll come back seemingly calmer and be like

"Hey mom? ...why are so annoying?"

And she'll say something like "I'm trying my best to make you happy."

"You didn't answer my question. I said- why are you so goddamn annoying?

And why is (bishi) so annoying? I just want to play my game, but you, you cant mind your goddamn business! Why can't you just ignore me! I cant believe i have to share the living room with you people!!"

I want to bitchslap him so bad

It's such a shame. He's a very sweet, sensitive boy. He can be so thoughtful. If you're hurting, he asks if he can rub it for you. He asks for cuddles all the time. He likes playing games like I Spy and the alphabet game. He likes doing character voices. He can sing great. He's very good at math and when he realizes he does good in reading he gets so shyly proud of himself. He likes history and all sorts of interesting facts. You do NOT ever make a bet with him over facts he knows. And he's real good with toddlers.

But oh my god. He absolutely cannot deal with any negative emotion. The slightest irritation and he becomes the biggest fucking asshole.

He is not going to make it in the world. At all. Everyone is going to hate him. He's not going to learn to make friends.

Fuck, we're not going to make it. My sister has expressed concern that, when he actually gets bigger than her? He's already like 150. He's a big boy. He could hurt us if he wants to.

When he hits puberty and shit escalates, i dont know what the fuck we're gonna do. He does not listen. He has never had an ounce of respect. We absolutely cant control him.

But the worse he gets, the weaker my sister's guidance gets.

I just. I understand to some extent "i can take it because he feels safe enough to lash out at me without consequences" but that is not turning the flag the color you think it is. And it is giving him the confidence to start treating US that way.

And i don't care if he's autistic. He's not unaware of the world or what's coming out of his mouth, this is not a verbal tic. He can learn some goddamn basic respect and patience for the people around him.

He's not going to learn to brace himself against bad feelings if we don't even bother to teach him how to navigate and deal with those feelings.

He turns 10 in 2 weeks.

Double digits already. And jesus, dont even get me started on the self reliance aspect of his upbringing. I just need him to control his mouth.

You know none of us taught him this. We do not speak to or treat eachother like that at all. He learned it all on youtube and the gaming culture he's exposed to on the oculus.

Ive been warning my sister to limit and control that exposure since he was like 4 and could navigate YouTube on his own. You can see how that turned out.

My sisters childrearing frustrates me so much. Ive shared thoughts, concerns and found all sorts of articles and videos to help provide insight and ideas.

Id been telling her for WEEKS about rejection sensitive dyaphoria. She avoided looking it up because she didnt want to acknowledge another thing wrong with him.

Since then, she read something like. When he feels criticism, he feels like the world is trying to kill him. Not consciously, that's just how his brain chemistry responds. And she doesnt want her squishy widdle baby to suffer. Its just so heartbreaking! That his brain thinks the world is trying to kill him! We must protect his feelings!

Like bitch, no. You need to help him reshape his thinking and reassure him that no, we're not attacking him personally every time he hears anything negative or opositional.

[sandymybeloved]

I think its time to stop telling people to start watching Doctor Who from Christopher Eccleston and instead treat it more like Classic Who (but not exactly the same). Give people some recommendations of episodes that are well liked, and tell new-commers that if they like a particular doctor or era, to watch from the start of that and go back and watch older stuff later. There are 13 series of this show, that's a little intimidating to get into. For people who want to get into an long series, who don't find it intimidating, sure, they should go back and start from series 1. Same goes for if your watching it with another person, like the advice isn't universal.

I just think "don't skip 9" isn't helpful anymore, series 1, as much as I love it, has aged, and the front half of the series is certainly the weaker half, so I wouldn't blame anyone who was turned off by it. And absolutely, if people get into a later era they should go back and watch it, but saying it's the one and only place to start is going to put a lot of people off.

I've loved doctor who for as long as I can remember, and have been watching it as it comes out since series 6 when I was 8 or 9 (I tried the series before but found the next time trailers to scary), but I stopped rewatching from the beginning years ago, I'm much more likely to watch a random episode I haven't seen for a while, or a particular series or Doctor I like. I don't know how universal that is, if most fans still watch the whole thing on rewatches, but if not, why recommend to a first time viewer that they watch in a way die hard fans don't anymore.

We already do this with Classic, every piece of advice you see says to bounce around, and obviously for very different reasons, until recently you couldn't find it all in one place. I don't see why we should do any differently with the new series, sure, there's not nearly as much of it, but the reason to tell people to skip around with classic is because different eras are different enough that not liking one isn't a guarantee you won't like another (for example I'm not a big fan of the fourth doctors era post key to time, but I love three's run (despite three being probably my least favourite doctor)). We ARE at that point with nu-who, we have three very different eras of the show (arguably four as the Moffatt era does change over time) and we aren't taking advantage of that when recommending the show.

Personally, if I were introducing Doctor Who to someone today, I'd stick on my favourite story for each Doctor (9-13), ask them which one they enjoyed the most, and watch from their first episode. (The one exception to this might be Tennant, as there's only one series before Christmas Invasion, and his run relies on the previous Doctors a lot more than most)

[a-romantic--aromantic]

tell me more about your experiences in real life aro spaces please *big pleading eyes*

okay so i am notoriously bad at answering asks because i’m on mobile, but i figured i can take a crack at this one

so i actually wasn’t in explicitly aro spaces, but due to the culture in my area, most lgbt individuals didn’t feel that they needed to use the pride spaces to have the ability to express themselves or feel safe. this very quickly led to queer spaces and clubs being full of aspecs. due to luck, i found my queer club was about 30% aro at the start, and about 50% aro halfway through. the more discussions we had about romanticism and amatonormativity and trying unpack and discover what romantic attraction meant, the more and more people in the club realized that romanticism didnt apply to them in the stereotypical or normative sense, and more and more people came out as aro. there were lots of conversations that included us just pointing out “that sounds like demiromantic” or “is that romantic attraction?” when people said something that sounded like a very aro perspective.

i also didnt join the aspec club at the university nearby because im not a student, but im always really tempted. im curious what a space intended for aspecs is like.

within my experiences, our aro circle was pretty large, and being open about queer identity and connection with our aro identity and community led to me knowing more aros, because you get excited if you overhear it in public, and the more people know about it the more people come out.

my aro circle did have a lot of dating in it, still, but that was because they were all aro4aro if that makes sense? a lot of people realized they were demi. and a close knit aro circle opens up nicely for aro identity being respected And developing romo attraction.

i’ve mentioned before that ive dealt with an exclusionist/aphobe irl, and that im annoyed their “romo aro” flag shows up in google. this person was actively a “chronically online” and “discourse” kind of a person. they held a lot of colonial ideals, were fairly ableist, and pushed a lot of people’s boundaries. this person was one of like 3 that were openly aphobic on campus, and all three of them gave off the sense that they were there to start arguments, not to engage in having a community of any kind. they were ultimately ignored by all the other allospec queer members. by and large, everyone accepted us in their queer spaces, and our “pride alliance” never once suggested that we didnt belong. we spent a lot of time talking about what mattered to us and how our queer identities impacted eachother, and how our communities intersected in various ways.

when the aros broke off to interact independently, our aromanticism was rarely brought up, it just was something that was a fact. we could talk about our struggles with our aro identity, they watched my blog grow, and we always chose activities that were friendly to the folks who didnt want to see romo stuff. ultimately it performed more as a tight friend group than as any sort of overarching activity to participate in. ive found virtual aro communities are pretty similar.

i dont know if this helps at all, but i do want to say you’re not alone in your aro identity, and you’re probably not even the only aro in your area.

for stats, i know:

7 arospecs in highschool , 2 aplspecs

10 arospecs in my close friend group in college , 2 (different) aplspecs

8 arospecs from my pride alliance (not in my friend group), 1 aplspec not in my group

4 arospecs in passing in college

an honestly unknowable number of arospecs from my old job, where ive been recognized from this blog before. these were mostly arospec and queer teenagers that were in awe of seeing a queer and arospec adult.

ive also made multiple online friends in fandom spaces who were not arospec or questioning arospec who recognized me from my blog, and, including both irl and online dating, have dated 9 aros/arospecs, and had qprs with 3 (tho ive had qprs with non arospecs too).

we aren’t an insignificant percent of the population. there’s honestly quite a lot of us and you shouldnt feel alone in this community. because theres so many of us, every aro community you join or create irl will be a little bit different. i live close to an aro organization that is in the nearest major city, and im thinking about volunteering and getting involved there, too. if you want to try making an irl aro community, honestly the easiest way to do it is just to be out and proud. they’ll come to you or you’ll help them realize it.

anyways i dont know if thats what you were asking, but thats everything i have in my brain for now. hope this helps.

💚💚🤍🖤🖤

-ghost

[straykidsftw]

how skz react to their daughters getting their period? 🩸😼😼😼😛 lmao

chan (jemima = 14):

okay he was prepared for everything else in parenting but not this

especially since jemima’s his youngest,, he’s just like ‘huh????? ur a child????? no??’

unfortunately for her,, as soon as jemima got her period it was SUPER PAINFUL

after only a year or two she had to go on the pill to regulate her cramps,, but in the meantime chan just cringed every time she was on because he hated seeing her in pain😭

would have a constant supply of painkillers and sanitary towels in his bag

and chocolate

minho (minseo = 11):

one day he just comes home while minseo’s crying into ur shoulder and he’s just like ‘wtf’

and you explain what’s happened

and for reference here,, i think minho would not be one to buy you pads when you ask they’d just appear in the bathroom and he’d completely deny it

i think he’d be the exact same with his daughters lol

but now he’ll share his snacks,, that’s his caring streak

changbin (changmi = 10 / miran = 11):

obviously having twins was hard,, but after they grew up changbin thought it was all gonna be breezy !! oh how wrong he was

changmi got her period first and miran was jealous

no one can explain why,,, i mean even by her second one changmi was telling miran she had nothing to be jealous about

but i see changbin as someone who literally from the beginning of your relationship would make sure you’re 100% comfortable at all times,, including period stuff

and that’s just exactly what he did for his daughters as well,, he bought changmi stuff and he comforted miran and then when miran finally got hers,, all the pads, late night fast-food runs, chocolate stashes and movie nights was just double :]

also double hormones,, it was not a fun time for haein and changbin

hyunjin (yena = 13):

he had no idea what to do !!

he’s only had two sons,, he’s an only child, and quite frankly the only thing he did when you were on your period was wash the sheets and cuddle you

‘thats all you need to do for her as well, jin, what else did you think you needed to do??’

but for some reason it just didnt feel like enough??? hyunjin absolutely LOVED to spoil yena

and so honestly every month was just an excuse for a shopping spree, or fast food runs after school,, hyunjin had a great time honestly

jisung (jiyoung = 13):

idk why but i just have this headcanon that on the day jiyoung got her period,, you were away but jisung, changbin and chan were all in the house

and obviously,, jiyoung being the miracle baby she was, everyone would dote on her !! but she’s never felt embarrassment like having to go and tell her dad she’d started her period while her two uncles were watching

but she was in safe hands🥰

“ahh it’s okay!! changmi got her’s earlier this year!” changbin exclaimed, “i have some pads spare in my bag if you dont have any”

chan just sympathised,, having had a little sister and a girlfriend for several years,, he knew, “i bring painkillers with me everywhere,, if it hurts just let me know!!”

jisung just pouted,, he didnt have time to think about how his baby was growing up when she was possibly in pain right in front of him,, “baby🥺 do you want to come and sit on my lap and eat chocolate?”

felix (hazel = 9):

hazel was young when she got hers so felix was kinda taken aback

like hazel had come to you and explained what was going on,, and already knew some parts from health education ?? but when you told felix he was just so like 🥺🥺 ‘my baby’

and honestly he would do ANYTHING for you and hazel when you’re on your period

like i just get the feeling (especially with two sisters) that felix has such respect for people who get periods and just would do anything for those he cared about

teaches benji to be that way as well :]

seungmin (areum = 16):

areum was SUPER insecure about how long it took to get her period

especially having short hair as well,, people often made fun of her for ‘not being a girl’

so when areum got her period it was a fucking celebration,, she ran downstairs screaming

needless to say seungmin was SHOCKED

also the whiplash he got when the next day she woke up with cramps and realised she was probably the lucky one

seungmin just laughed,, i see him being a hot water bottle/snack monitor,, just bringing her more when she needs it

jeongin (jihae = 11):

i feel like jeongin would be weirdly emotional about it???

not in a weird way,, just in the fact that this was one of the signs that his daughter was growing up ???? and it made him a little sad ?

he didn’t show it though,, he just made jihae tea and hot water bottles whenever she wanted them

but as soon as she had cramps she’d cuddle up to jeongin and something in him was soothed with this knowledge

ofc periods sucked but those cuddles were some of the best jeongin had in years🥰

[sailorhyunjinz]

How about super tomboyish reader who is almost like a brother to the members so doing anything to them just feels weird? And imagine how whipped they'd be to finally see you wear a toght fitting dress that shows off your beautiful curves 🥴✌🏼

OK you didnt specify with format i should write but imma just write it as a headcanon,,, because it seems fitting! SO LEGO

warnings; fem!reader, swearing, non-idol!au, highschool!au

so your closest friend group consisted of 8 guys

you've known them since kindergarden pretty much and you never felt different because you were a girl

quite the contrary, you were comfortable! and so you naturally grew into what your family described as a "tomboy"

but something was around the corner

p r o m

you hated the thought of even going

it was going to be filled with people you never wanted to see ever again after graduation, bad club music and too sweet punch

but you couldnt hate it either since the rest of the boys were so excited, wanting to confess to some girls and get them to be their prom date

[Jisungie] guys, dark blue or burgundy tux?

[mongmong] burgundy? are you fucking 5? dark blue all the way

[lixie] HEY! I WAS GOING TO WEAR BURGUNDY

[Jisungie] i think you should bro

[chan-wolf] but real talk guys, what flowers do girls like

[Jisungie] AYE y/n!!! TELL US

[y/n] i dont know? roses?

[hyunjinnie] roses seems too,,, funeral,,,

[foxdude] but real talk,,, what is y/n gonna wear

[binniebinnie] I WANNA KNOW THIS ONE

[lixie] ayo changbin i thought you were sleeping, get on the game in 5

[binniebinnie] i was sleeping before my mom started beating me with the vacuum BUT SURE

[mongmong] you probably deserved it, have you seen your room? those monster cans have centuries of dust on them

[foxdude] shut the fuck up everyone, wanna know what y/n gonna wear

[y/n] tbh i dont have a flying fucking clue, my mom wants me to wear a dress

[binniebinnie] OH SHIT Y/N IN A DRESS ITS SERIOUS GUYS

[hyunjinnie] at least she looks better than you

[chan-wolf] when was the last time you wore a dress? wasnt it like kindergarden? lmao

[y/n] ,,, oh shit you're right,,,

[Jisungie] what if y/n is hot in a dress?

[foxdude] get out the groupchat you fucking perv

[Jisungie] PLEASE DONT REMOVE ME AGAIN IT'S HAPPENED LIKE 3 TIMES THIS WEEK

[mongmong] another mf that deserves it, can changbins mom beat jisung with the vacuum as well?

[lixie] i would pay to see that lmfao

[chan-wolf] well,,, you have to wear something cause you're coming to prom with us!

[Jisungie] well obviously she has to wear something ;))

[hyunjinnie] OUT!! NOW!!!

[User 'Jisungie' has been removed from '9 dudes']

[mongmong] finally some peace

[chan-wolf] you'll look good in whatever you wear y/n! the important part is that you feel good about yourself!

[y/n] thank you chan, really!

you put your phone away, sighing as you looked out the window

what the fuck should you do?

days later your mom knocks on your door as you're playing games with felix

she's holding a long red dress and you just stare at her in disgust before saying something quick to felix and turning off the game

"y/n, it will look great on you! just try it on, for your mom!"

you sighed, taking the dress from her and shutting the door behind you and starting to undress, you could at least try it you thought.

when you put it on it felt,,, odd,,,, but not,,, horrible?

your walking and posture could use some work since you didnt really know how to sit in such a dress

but it looked alright!! NOT HORRIBLE!! YAY!!

your mom was awed >:((

immedietly grabbing her phone and snapping a pic in typical mom fashion from some odd angle

the day of prom you couldn't sit still, shaking your leg as you scrolled mindlessly through your phone

all the boys were coming to pick you up since you lived closest to the prom venue

they were all so cute greeting your parents with the utmost respect and standing all dapper and trying to be cool like 8 douchy highschoolers but failing miserably

you heard some bustling of noises and small talk, deciding that it was time to head down to the living room but barely breathing from how tight the dress was

how you were gonna dance in it still remained a mystery.

you looked down the stairs and started walking down slowly, startling jisung that was walking by the staircase

"who the f- y/n?!"

the other boys came rushing as they heard jisungs uproar, their jaws dropping to the floor

they barely recognised you

"why the fuck are you guys staring like that?"

you say, convincing them that it is indeed y/n that was standing before them

you had a body-ody-ody that was usually covered by boxy hoodies and oversized pants

but this dress displayed it all, ass and tits

not like,,, too much but just enough,,,

some of them didnt know where to look, not wanting to weird you out

whilst some were openly staring (cough jisung and changbin cough)

which felt FUCKING WEIRD you obviously had to punch some sense into them

all and all,,, it ended up being a really memorable night! it wasnt as highschool cringe as you thought it would be, espescially since you got to spend it together with your best friends in the entire world.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (90)- First pages ONLY.

I skimmed thro ch-89 to know the context of ch-90. it was Cinderella’s play. In this chapter, Kyo says early on, that time has passed since the play & that they are NOW starting their third year in high school. cool.

This part will ONLY focus on the 1st few pages of ch 90 abt (kyo & tohru) & stop before kyo’s memories starts, because the early pages contain:

Tons of new unexplored analysis of (kyo & tohru) characters that unfortunately was intentionally cut & worse! “changed” in the anime.

No space to add kyoko’s story in this post.

Kyoko’s story is full psychologically & socially.. I need to take a deeeeeeep breath before I unpack it. very deeeeep breath!

-Glimpses of Tohru (the silent grieving girl) Subtle Writing of Grief:

Right from the beginning, I hate how much insight into tohru’s grief & weakness as a human being is already there in the first few pages of ch-90 than the entire 3 seasons of the anime! From few pages we have:

Tohru’s seemingly delighted watching a video. Subtly, showcasing tohru’s grieve & paving the path for tohru’s trauma exploration later in the story. Grief is not sth you quickly past, that’s the most tragic misunderstanding of grief. Time will pass, so, you’ll be better & healthier. Really?!. Tohru’s inner desire to see her mom alive manifested in her words: “ like a photo comes to life” T_T.

The story/writing/manga is acknowledging tohru’s heartbreaking & NOT cute habit of talking to her mom’s cold dead photo! In the anime, tohru talks to her a lot in se01 & it’s up to you to see as as “ cute” as all the canon characters do or actually feeling it IS wrong. Kyo’s  “ what would she do if there were a video of her mom”! “ drives the point more abt tohru being a sad grieving human~not the “advice-giving, optimistic angel, & rain-stopping sunshine in the anime.

Tohru telling kyo to NOT catch cold connecting it to se01, ep 9 (haru’s ep) when tohru was afraid that yuki might catch cold & kyo noticed that! so now in se03, they’re dropping this plot altogether within the main anime, for what? we dont even know if this part would be included in whatever “ kyoko’s” spinoff content would be. -_-’.

That’s how you write subtle trauma such as (grief) for a main (female) MC. subtlety is the key. Respect the viewers intelligence & do it.

You don’t have to give her the long speeches or the many focused ep that yuki had. he’s the kind who confront himself inwardly constantly.

You don’t have to showcase drama, confrontation & force the emotions out like you did with kyo. he runs from his trauma & punishes himself.

Tohru buries her feelings! she’s different from both kyo & yuki. So, with her subtle & symbolic scenes are enough!!!The viewers will catch it if you show it, but ignoring it, cutting it & hoping the viewers will magically predict what you cut, is weird. But the anime isn’t even into us predicting nor subtly showing her cuz this tohru is NOT the tohru we have in the anime. How?

Simply cuz there is no kyo’s inner thoughts abt small things such as tohru’s photo obsession which subtly shows her grief & trauma. If kyo didn’t monologue abt her, tohru does not exist as she’s meant to be. You loose the subtle insights into tohru if you cut kyo’s inner thoughts. Not everything kyo thinks abt in regards to tohru is romance!!! That’s a very narrow & superficial look into the writing of kyo/’tohru dynamics. Flip the pages, hmm..cut this kyoru scene here & there cuz we dont want the anime to be only their love story.. But the story itself IS NOT only their love story at all. These pages/scenes here are abt tohru as a PERSON. Not tohru the lover...

- Writing Clashes between manga & anime: (Kyo’s Conscious Gradual Psychological Exploration vs Shock Value & Drama)

In ch 90 i really love all the inner self talking that kyo’s doing. It really explains why he ended up rejecting tohru so strongly. Also, going for a trip into kyo’s mind is hella exciting, new, refreshing & full of analysis-worthy exploration! Kyo’s inner psychological argument with himself is a psychologically-informed presentation of a tried guilty mind:

“ Why can’t I stop thinking of (kyoko’s words) lately? Acknowledging that he IS remembering kyoko & never forgot her. This is also supported in the anime itself. When he apologized to a sleeping tohru in se01, ep14 & se02, ep9 , confronting yuki in the stairs & other instances as well. 

“ It’s like a lid been opened & all the memories came pouring”. Acknowledging that kyo DID open his lid since se02, ep9 byt chose to run & not confront it due to his guilt of ruining tohru’s happiness by confessing his connection to her mom. 

“ pretending I didn’t know, pretending I forgot”. Here is a blatant clash in kyo’s writing (1) between the anime & manga (2) between the anime’s episodes themselves!!. In the manga, again kyo chose to ignore & pretended to forget. Death is NOT sth you forgot. Kyo saw kyoko bleeding & dying.  The anime chose to make him totally forget & it could’ve worked if they didn’t included all the canon moments of him actually remembering & pretending to forget. Is that lazy writing? or was the director for se03 different from se 1 &2 &? chose to NOT watch the two previous seasons? Why would you consciously include a contradicting depiction of your character on screen for thousands of confused viewers? Was the scene of kyo’s shocked gave upon seeing kyoko’s photo that artistically appealing that you forgot everything? I really have NO problem of kyo forgetting kyoko if that was written in the anime since se01, but it wasn't. that's why it sucks. 

“Is this payback? maybe I want to blame ME?” augh! i love this line so much! Directly hinting to the viewers that this is kyo’s one-sided guilt before his story with kyoko even started! subtly paving the path for the reason of his rejection of tohru” I dont want forgiveness. I want to blame ME.

-I don’t mind that the anime left kyo’s thoughts of kyoko until the climax in eo8, cuz ep 8 was SO well-done! Se03, ep 8 pacing was very suitable to (1) uncovering dark secrets & death, trauma, & guilt. (2)  for exploring the effects such secrets on kyo’s character, decisions, mentality. Also, the animation of kyo’s face all ep 8 was one of the most expressive facial expressions the anime has ever delivered! The eyebrows, eyes, mouth, tears, body languages, heartache was all 100% perfect. The fact that the following eps didnt have much time to express everything & chapters were cramped is not ep 8′s fault but the decision to have 13 eps. Kyo’s delayed trauma deserved to have its own ep.

-What I DO mind is the added scene of ep 6 where he freaked out upon seeing kyoko’s picture, the concept of shock is perfect & so suitable for an anime but was NEVER properly written into the anime itself from the beginning. On the contrary, the anime itself contradict such usage of such value. Good job ruining an otherwise perfect-depiction of two traumatized characters (kyo & tohru) with ONE scene.. -_-

Side Notes:

I thought tohru is narrating the 1st page in ch-90, turned it out it is kyo!!!! Kyo narrates sth? Kyo monologues? kyo has a POV? Just the setting of kyo doing that feels different! I duno if it cuz when that happens in the anime it’s always clash & drama! lol, or cuz it’s sth original!

Shigure’s “ it’s broadcasted all over the nation” is epic! XD! you know poor stupid kyo would fall for that! XD. kyo, you really are an idiot! XD... man this scene would’ve been epic comedy~ lol.

Tohru not knowing what a “dvd” is is outdated for the anime, but to still keep the sentiment of “her wishing she’d have a video footage of her mom”, they could’ve replaced her words with “ It’d be fun watching this play years from now & remembering all the details”. I know that to some, it feels weird that tohru doesn't have video footage of her mom in this era. but trust me, this is more common than you might think. My late brother, who’s way younger than me, doesn't have much video footage, he always felt awkward & preferred not to be filmed. We got photos for him tho~

Even if you want kyo’s knowledge of kyoko to be in the climax only. You can always include this scene of tohru & kyo in the first pages in the anime somehow. It doesn't even need to be abt the dvd even tho that’s manageable. Cutting this short scene of them talking abt videos, & catching cold is cutting tohru’s trauma from its core. Then, the old grandpa’s narration from se03, ep6 would at least have some backup in the anime’s canon.

Momiji & shigure are perfect as a comedic duo!

I can’t get over tohru’s art~ <3

Pinning kyo at the beginning is epic~ kyo always gets the BEST romantic lines when he talks to himself. “ burning (tohru’s ) memories into my head or forgetting everything”. The torturing fire inside him is only distinguished by loving her but is also ignited by loving her~ what’s the solution~

[laddieseddiemunster]

Could you possibly do a separate lost boys x reader who is Laddie's older sister? If not that's fine. Have a great day :)

Y’all seem to like when I write about Laddie, and that’s great because I love writing about him too. You have a great day as well!

The Lost Boys x Fem!Reader Who is Laddie’s Older Sister

David

david isn’t too fond of the idea of having a child in his gang. he doesn’t mind kids...unless they’re living with him. he doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of a child, so when laddie came around he let the other boys take responsibility of the little guy. that was until laddie told the group that he had an older sister, and he wanted her to join the group. he expected you to be young like laddie, but instead you were older...and beautiful.

out of all the boys david would be the least likely one to ask laddie for permission to date you. what’s the little pipsquaek gonna do about it? david thinks if laddie doesn’t like the relationship then too bad. unless david is mistreating you (which he wouldn’t obviously) then laddie would have no problem with your relationship. the only problem he does have is laddie doesn’t want david to take up all of your time. sometimes laddie wants brother and sister bonding time, and he doesn’t want david around for that.

laddie has never caught you two “in the act”. the only time he ever walked in on you two was during a heated makeout session. laddie came in the room for his teddy bear and well his eyes widened when he saw david on top of you. he didn’t know what to say so he just left the room really embarrassed and closed the door behind him. unfortunately, laddie told paul about what happened and it became a thing you and david got teased for. 

david doesn’t like to be bothered when he’s around you. especially when he wants to be alone with you, but sometimes laddie wants to be alone with his big sister too. david won’t bother arguing with laddie because he knows you’ll shut it down immediately, and even though laddie can be a pain in his butt the little kid is still related to you so david’s gotta show some respect. 9/10 times they’ll both have to spend time with you at the same time, so there really is no winner. the 1/10 times are when david uses mind tricks to get laddie away or he’ll bribe the kid with a new toy. 

the good thing about dating david and being laddie’s older sister is it gives them both a chance to get to know each other better. they’ve never really had one on one time together since laddie spends most of his time with dwayne, paul, or star. it’s not that they don’t like each other, they just don’t know each other. laddie has always been intimidated by david, so they never really had a one on one conversation. 

they probably won’t have a really close relationship, but it’d be better than before. to the point where laddie is comfortable with your relationship with david. he trusts that david is a good boyfriend, and won’t hurt you in any way. since laddie is little he can’t exactly tell david “break her heart and i’ll break your face”, but if he ever would break your heart laddie would loose all respect he had for david. 

Dwayne

it’s not hard to notice that dwayne is pretty good with children. when laddie was turned he took the little guy under his wing, and made sure he stayed out of trouble. he was the older brother that anyone around laddie’s age would want. it was a complete surprise to dwayne when laddie told him that he had an older sister. dwayne didnt mind the idea of having another female in the group. of course he expected you to be young, so he was in for a big surprise.

when dwayne saw you he immediately knew you were the one for him. the only issue was you were laddie’s sister, and dwayne didn’t know how the kid would feel about it. since dwayne didn’t want to loose the friendship he had with laddie he decided to ask the boy to see how he’d feel about it. laddie didn’t have a problem with it as long as dwayne would be respectful towards you. soon enough, you and dwayne started a relationship.

dwayne’s worst nightmare would be if laddie would walk in on you two. it’s never happened, but it almost did. you two were about to do the deed when laddie walked into the room to ask you something. when you guys heard the door open dwayne immediately jumped off of you, and you tried to act like you were doing something. luckily laddie didn’t suspect a thing and left the room once he was done talking to you. now dwayne doesn’t try to do anything with you unless you’re alone with him. he doesn’t want to risk that happening again.

there are times when dwayne wants alone time with you, but he doesn’t know how to tell laddie to go away without sounding rude. if laddie wants to spend time with you then dwayne will let him. he understands that families need to spend time with one another. if dwayne really wants to spend time with you alone then he’ll make some agreement with laddie. for example, he’ll have to take the kid to get ice cream every day for a week, and he’ll get to spend time with you alone for the week too.

there is only one problem about your relationship with dwayne that usually ends up in an argument. laddie always rides on the back of dwayne’s motorcycle, but now he can’t. laddie doesn’t like riding with anyone but dwayne because the other guys can drive a bit recklessly. dwayne doesn’t really know how to fix the problem because he doesn’t want you to ride with any of the other boys, but at the same time he doesn’t want to hurt laddie’s feelings. dwayne’ll hate it but the only way to work the problem out is for you and laddie to take turns. he gets a little jealous when you ride with one of the boys but he won’t show it.

overall, laddie likes your relationship with dwayne. he trusts that dwayne won’t do anything to hurt you. dwayne and laddie’s relationship didn’t really change. they were close before and they still were. dwayne still took care of laddie and occasionally brought him on a couple of your dates, but usually he’d get bored of all the romance and he’d leave to go hang out with the others. even though laddie is small he will still look out for you, and he’ll make sure dwayne never breaks your heart.

Paul

paul is pretty good with kids, but in his own way. young kids mainly like him because paul lets them do whatever they want. so when paul met laddie he became the not a very good influence kind of older brother. but they were close. like dwayne, paul took care of laddie when he first turned, and he showed the boy all his records (that he stole). when laddie told the group that he had a sister paul was pretty excited to meet you. when that opportunity came he was taken back on how gorgeous you were.

the minute paul saw you he wanted you, and he had a list of pickup lines ready. paul didn’t ask laddie for permission mainly because he doesn’t ask anybody for permission. if paul wants something he’s gonna go after it, and in this case it was you. laddie noticed what paul was doing right away. he might be young, but he’s not dumb. laddie cringed at every pickup line paul gave to you, and he was shocked when you agreed to go on the date with paul. he loves paul, but he kinda wished you said no.

laddie knows how paul is. he knows that paul sleeps around with a couple girls a week, and he didn’t want you to be next. he tried to talk to paul about it, but now paul was with you all the time! and he couldn’t talk to you because you were with paul all the time. it was stressful for laddie because he didn’t want paul to leave you for another girl. he finally got an opportunity to get paul alone when you were asleep. laddie told paul in the best way possible to not hurt you. paul just smiled like he always does and said “don’t worry about it bud. I dont wanna hurt her, I wanna keep her!”

luckily throughout your relationship with paul, laddie has never walked in on you two when he shouldn’t have. that’d be embarrassing for you, and it’ll probably traumatize laddie for life. you may think that laddie doesn’t know what you and paul do when you’re alone but ohh he does. he kinda wishes he didn’t. since you and laddie’s parents are absent, dwayne and paul gave laddie “the talk”. let’s just say paul is the worst teacher on the birds and the bees. laddie tries to forget that even happened.

a problem that does occur is paul is very needy for attention, and so is laddie. paul acts like a needy child when he wants attention, and laddie technically is a needy child. paul doesn’t like sharing, but he’s going to have to. he didn’t like it at first but he didn’t mind it after a while. if laddie wanted to be with you alone then paul would figure out how to entertain himself until he could hang out with you again. he forgot that family time is important since he hasn’t seen his family in decades, but he understands now that it’s important for you and laddie to have a good relationship.

your relationship with paul didn’t cause many changes to laddie and paul’s friendship. it only made laddie worry for some time, but then it was all okay. laddie doesn’t worry about paul breaking your heart anymore. he does worry that paul will say something stupid that’ll make you mad, but let’s be honest paul always says something stupid. as long as paul is a loyal boyfriend to you then laddie was nothing to worry about.

Marko

marko and laddie are friends, but they aren’t close. there is no beef between the two, they just don’t have much in common. marko likes to cause trouble while laddie is usually with dwayne or star staying out of trouble. the only time they got to know each other a little bit was when marko introduced laddie to his army of piegons, but since he couldn’t hold or play with them much he lost interest in the birds pretty fast. so when laddie told the group that he had a sister, marko didn’t think too much of it. that was until he laid eyes on you for the first time.

marko thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. why couldn’t laddie bring you to the cave sooner? the second he had the opportunity to get to know you he took it. he decided to be respectful and not immediately flirt with you. he started a conversation and eventually asked if you would like a tour of the boardwalk. when you accepted marko took you for a walk and bought you ice cream. marko kind of forgot that you were laddie’s sister, and he just asked you out on a date without even thinking about asking laddie first.

laddie didn’t know marko well enough to know if marko would be a loyal boyfriend. he didn’t even know you were dating him until he noticed you leaving the cave with him almost every night. he wasn’t upset that it was marko, but he wished that he got some sort of a heads up. when laddie did see you and marko together he realized that you really loved him, and he loved you too. that gave laddie some relief. at least he knows that marko cares about you.

laddie has never walked in on you and marko, but he has been kicked out of your bedroom when marko wants to be alone with you. usually it’s because marko wants to cuddle or he just wants some attention. laddie of course doesn’t think that. if he thinks what’s happening is going to happen then he’ll gladly leave. he doesn’t wanna stay and watch. marko will never tell laddie to leave the room. you’re the one that tells him because you can just tell by the look on marko’s face when he wants alone time with you.

surprisingly, they never fight over who gets your attention and who doesn’t. if laddie wants your attention then marko will let the kid have his way. marko knows that a lot of siblings don’t get along, so he wants you to have a good relationship with laddie. he’s a pretty patient guy, so he’ll want till laddie falls asleep and then he’ll get some alone time with you. but of course there are times when marko demands cuddles because he had a bad day or something, and those are the days laddie gets kicked out of the room.

since you and marko are very close that meant marko and laddie spent more time together then they used to. marko thought as long as he was dating you then he should probably get to know laddie a little more since he was your brother. it all started when marko bought laddie an ice cream along with one for you. laddie is pretty easy to gain trust of, so after a couple ice creams laddie already liked marko a little more. as time went by marko became another brotherly figure to laddie. not as close as dwayne or paul, but closer than it was before.

[mycptsdrecovery]

TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

TW

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

[horansqueen]

Vote For My Next Story

I'll try to keep this short. YOU&ME has ended, and it was a big part of the last few years of my life (along with AM Conversations). It'll probably always be my favorite and best story but that doesnt mean i want to stop writing.

please, know that the oneshots ideas are independent from the story ideas, meaning that i can write a story AND oneshots at the same time so let me know if youre interested!

(click on the read more to read the 10 synopsis of the story ideas I’d like to write)

AM Conversations & YOU&ME ideas:

-oneshots ideas for what happened after the story, before the story, or even in-between chapters in the story. you can send me ANY idea that you would want to read between Liv and Niall or other characters.

-oneshots ideas for any "what if" you can think of (i.e. what if one of them didnt love the other, what if they hadnt seen each other at the bakery, what if Liv had dated Louis, etc)

NEW STORY IDEAS:

NOTES: 

all the ideas are AU. 

 #2 #8 and #9 will include a few of the 1D boys. 

despite the title, #4 is a Niall fic

titles may change

                                   VOTE HERE!!!!

you can also vote by messaging me.

in the form, theres a place for comments but you dont have to leave any

you also dont have to leave your name or anything

thank you if you vote, it means a lot to me!

ill keep this open for a while, until i get enough votes :)

1- UNPREDICTABLE

They haven't seen each other since high school and they hadn't missed each other at all. In fact, they never really could stand each other. Her, a bit of a rebel, listening to punk music, searching for trouble whenever she could... and him, the good boy, popular and loved by everyone, who could rarely be seen without his guitar. It's been a few years already but not many things had changed and they still didn't have anything in common... except one thing. Both of them aspired to become famous with their music. With a twist of fate, they end up in each other's lives again and if they can put aside their resentment for one another, maybe they could bring something incredibly precious to each other. But nothing has ever been uncertain.

This is the story of two opposite persons who share a burning passion that may slowly bring them closer... or make the hatred they already feel for each other even more intense.

2- D.N.A. (daddies now available)

The test was positive. I was pregnant. The problem was, I didn’t know who the father was. It could be my ex boyfriend Liam, his best friend Niall or my best friend Louis. Or maybe it could be that boy I randomly had sex with, Harry... I had no idea and I was not going to find out soon.¸

All I knew was I had to tell four boys that there was a possibility for them to be a daddy in less than a year. Can you just imagine their reaction?

Contrary to all expectations, they accepted their fates.. somehow. And no matter who his daddy was, “little human” was going to get a lot of attention from a lot of men. Exactly like me.

This is my pregnancy story. And it was just the beginning of a long journey.

3- MEANT TO BE

When they first met, Louis was all *MAIN GIRL* ever wanted. However, a decade later the high school sweethearts had change and she felt like most of the sparkles she once had were now gone. Then she met Niall and it clicked instantly and intensely and since then, they’ve been seeing each other in secret, lying to their whole entourage about the nature of their relationship. Feelings started to grow, things started to change, and maybe, just maybe, it’s meant to be. Or maybe not.

A tale of broken hearts, unforgettable love and many… way too many lies.

4- LIVING WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON

Call me Queen Catastrophe. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my best girl friend and my apartment on the same day. Just a little friday afternoon like all the others, right?

Thank god, my best friend Louis was there to save the day. Nothing unusual. I was supposed to crash at his apartment for one night and then walk on my pride and go back to my parents to admit how much of a failure I really am.

However, Louis had other plans : he wanted me to move in with him. That’s when my story really starts. Mutual feelings, drunken sex, grocery shopping, fights that end up with porcelain thrown around the kitchen (I’m an intense person, I know) but most of all, his best guy friend stealing his (our, now) couch at least 5 nights a week.

I despise Niall Horan with all my heart. Him and his stupid charm, his flirty smile and his hands that always ended up in places they shouldn’t. He was threatening to come between Louis and I. He was slowly taking more space in our apartment… and in my heart.

Fuck, I hate Niall Horan with a passion.

5- FOR YOUR LOVE

After months of trying to get pregnant, Niall and his long-time girlfriend found out she was sterile. The news obviously shook their relationship and sparked a few arguments but after a long discussion, they found only one solution : hire a surrogate mother. As days go by, Niall's relationship gets harder and harder to save, and his connection with the surrogate mother of his child becomes tighter. Soon, he gets caught in feelings he can't explain and definitely can't understand. But life is not as easy as just following your feelings.

A story of unsettling feelings, confusing relationships, a deep and strong connection but mostly, decisions impossible to make. Can this really end well?

6- DATING FOR DUMMIES

*MAIN GIRL* has tried blind dates, dating apps, and speed dating to find her soulmate with no good result. Niall has tried pretty much the same without much more success. With all the bizarre, creepy and incompatible persons they meet, they're so close to give up on love until they meet each other through a friend. After a bottle of wine and a long discussion, they start thinking that maybe they were the problem, and that they're too dumb for dating. That's when they decide to make a list of what they individually want and need on a first date and finally decide to try it together. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and they will both realize that feelings can't be controlled.

When all else fails, the solution will always be to follow your heart.

7- THE BREAK-UP PLAN

*MAIN GIRL* and Niall's relationship had started when they had barely entered their teenager years. Now, over 10 years later, they feel like something is missing. They didn't know anything else besides each other and it had to change. They still planned on spending forever together but their lack of experiences and mistakes seemed to be an obstacle between them.

They agreed on  break that was not really a break. for six whole months, they would be able to do whatever they wanted to do with whoever they wanted to. Going to parties, leaving for a whole weekend with friends without giving any news, dating and even screwing whoever they wanted, nothing was out of reach.

They only had one rule : honesty. Every friday night, they'd meet and spend the whole night together, talking, making out or just cuddling until they'd fall asleep, to make sure their love was preserved.

Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and seeing the person you love the most in the world be happy without you is something almost impossible to accept.

A story about angry tears, painful jealousy, sweet sweet revenge and realizing who your real soulmate is. Watch out, it's gonna hurt.

8- HOT MESS

*MAIN GIRL* has always been a bit of a rebel who didn't really care about much. She just enjoyed life the way she wanted to and never really paid attention to anything else. If she wanted something, she did everything she could to get it, no matter who she'd hurt in the process. After a few years away from her hometown, family and friends, she finally comes back to realize that a lot of things have changed. Jumping in her twin brother Liam's life without being invited, she's about to make a mess of everything he had made so much effort to build by flirting with every single one of his friends without any shame. She's not looking for a relationship, she's just looking to have some fun and break a few hearts... but perhaps, she's about to make a mess of her own heart.

Sometimes, you play the game and some other very rare times, the game plays you.

9- 15 Complicated Rules

I have no idea how I got into this mess but somehow, I ended up with 4 different fuck buddies. I thought I was going crazy until I made a strict schedule of the days and time I would see them, and wrote down a few rules I had to respect myself. A useful guide to manege my 4 fuck friends. Monday for my ex boyfriend, tuesday for my co-worker, wednesday for my old best friend and thursday for a family friend. It could work, right?

I've never been much of an organised person but I honestly thought I could make this work. Everything went as planned for a few months until I broke one rule after the other. That's when I knew I was in deep shit. These are my 15 complicated rules to have fuck buddies. And this is the story of my downfall and the incredible mess I put myself into. After all, rule 15 was 'Never Fall In Love' and I guess that's something I couldn't control, even if I wanted to.

10- DISCONNECTED

When *MAIN GIRL* switches college to finally follow her dreams, she was ready to face anything and everything that would come her way. After all, she had been through so much already, right? The problem was, she didn't expect to be stuck in a room with someone who gets on her last nerves because of a paperwork mistake. Despite trying to find an other place to live or spend her time talking to the administration, she had to face the fact that this situation wouldn't change for a few months. Niall knew how to piss her off and he clearly abused that superpower, doing anything and everything he can to annoy the most pretentious and stuck-up person he had ever met. Perhaps fate is having a good laugh, because they seem to get stuck together way more often than not, but it's not until they let down their defense that they will see who the other really is... if that ever happens.

Apparently, some people are in your life to teach you something and make you grow. Perhaps, if you take the time to listen to them and open up to them, your karmic soulmate can turn into your twin flame... or not.

11- NEW ANGEL

When *MAIN GIRL 1* breaks up with Niall, he takes it harder than he thought he would, realizing in the process all the feelings he had for her. After a few weeks locked by himself in his room, his friends take him out on a crazy night and he decides he needs someone else, if only to get over the girl he loves. That’s when he meets *MAIN GIRL 2* and bring her back home.  However, on the next morning, he realizes he doesn't want her to leave, and that despite the feelings he has for *main girl 1*, he could definitely develop something with *main girl 2*. Everything is going amazingly well for a few weeks until what Niall never thought would happen actually happens : *main girl 1* calls him to tell him she regrets leaving him. Now confused and stressed, Niall is going to have to make a choice between the girl he thought he'd spend his life with, and a girl he just met that makes his heart race. And he's going to get help on his journey from someone he would never have thought of.

A story about making choices, creating connections, messy hearts and confusing emotions.

(i have many ideas for this one but i dont want to give everything away!)

[whiterbone-a]

i wanna know what your take on the nanami / gojo relationship is ?? cause a big part of me is like nanami isn't someone who really talks , like you won't get inside of him and he'll make jokes here and there with the whole work is shit thing . but i think he lost his heart and happiness alongside yuu and i think he even said this wasn't a mission first years should be on and the fact that yuu looked up to getou and gojo so much and still got killed was like a fucking blade to the stomach.

i mean do you think there is a romantic possability , i do play around with it but at the same time do you think it would be comforting ?? like i know the big ship is gojo and getou because of how close they were but what is nanami to gojo , a tool and a function or a friend and possible lover ??? and how will his death effect him ???

also were gojo actively smiles , nanami only smiles when death is around the corner and i am like red flags here and there . but sorry this got so long and please feel free to ignore it .

hello and welcome.  take a seat and thank you for joining me.  if this doesnt make sense just pretend u know what im talking about, its the adhd for making my thoughts so scattered everywhere

so in concept the nanami and gojou ship in a romantic concept is rly cute in concept like u have an ex - salary man whos serious doesnt allow himself the luxury of acting his age but on the other end u have someone who still acts like hes a child and never takes anything serious even when hes fighting.  they both endured the trauma being a jujutsu sorcerer entails yet they have nothing in common -- gojou dresses like hes a reflection with the moon and nanami, the sun.  also the fact that gojou thinks that he, himself, is ascended above all he works with while nanami is just a human living his day to day, and lot of ppl use this as nanami to bring down gojou to his morality just like a nudge or a friendly reminder.  he even tolerates and puts up with him a lot more than he should.  hes very patient but very honest.  a lot of the fanart of them is SO CUTE esp when theyre married and living happily with one another.  i even ship them, its actually one of my top ships next to satosugu but like in reality its not so great unfortunately

honestly?  theres a small slim of a possibility but due to the nature of the clash of personalities and what their job its like ... not rly possible

nanami, even out of being a salary man, fully treats being a jujutsu sorcerer as a 9 - 5 job and refuses to work overtime. he has small luxuries like he enjoys reading and eating left overs after a day of working hard like who wouldnt and not to mention hes the type to keep his relationships strictly professional. gojou has probably asked him several times to take him out for drinks after work (altho work never ends with gojou which is ironic) and has said no.  it’s funny now that i think about it,  shouko probably asks him for an occasional drink after hours and he accepts because at least he likes shouko and he knows theres no ulterior motive from her just a couple of coworkers doing some heavy drinking but nothing ever more than that -- hes even said that he wants to get married but when hes no longer a sorcerer

sucks tho, because like everyone else, nanami sees gojou as someone who is extremely powerful and only sees him for his techniques except more like hes a nuisance and extremely annoying, even to the point of having absolutely no respect for him.  he realizes, yeah hes strong but as for the full package that is satoru gojou?  there’s absolutely nothing to respect about that man

and while we’re talking about gojou, i’ll say it, he’s mentally unstable.  i mean, we all knew that -- hes got a couple of “screws loose” as he puts it inside that rattling brain of his.  on the opposite side of the spectrum, hes not capable of handling a romantic relationship.  hes always always busy, its rare that that he gets a breather for himself.  hes always being sent out on missions out of country and ive always portrayed gojou as the type of partner thats not even gentle on his partners in terms of being playful, childish, and being a nuisance.  his mental health is absolutely terrible (i’m not saying nanamis is any better but) hes always acted much younger than what he is altho i do blame his upbringing for that.

and gojou treats everyone as good friends but does like to particularly pick on ppl who take themselves too seriously (nanami and utahime), mei mei and yuki are exempt from this.  he also doesnt rly care for ichiji but like, that doesnt matter LOL.

i do see nanami eventually giving in for one (1) after dinner ‘date’ after work but when gojou is actually less himself, hes tolerable to be around which isnt saying much tbh.  you should def listen to the nanami and gojou drama audio if u can!  they’re so fucking funny as a pair, which solidifies them as being cute but were not talking about that rn.

in terms of being ‘what are they’ to each other, its hard to tell.  i talked about it briefly as nanami reminding him of his morality and being his humility tho gojou doesnt act like it, he fully believes hes above all and everyone, lovers and close friends are included in this.  i read a lot of nana/go fanfics and they portray nanami as someone to push down his ego;  to remind him hes actually Not all that great, a child in an adults body, etc.  he’s a brutality honest man and gojou can take critic and criticisms to his person but that doesnt mean hes going to listen (and he doesnt, hes even self aware that his personality sucks ass but does he bother to change?  absolutely not and he wont start now nor for anyone else).

yuu did definitely help nanami change and shift his ideas about the world, esp hating the jujutsu society afterwards.  like, i dont blame u king, it sucks ass.  tho, i dont think nanami looked up or cared for gojou and getou that much.  getou he looked up to more so because at least hes as a respectable guy, strong, good looking, and stimulates intellectual conversations.  gojou?  not so much.  nanami probably thought that it doesnt matter if u have techniques that is extremely rare to acquire and even more so to master but u suck ass and u dont stimulate joy to be around.

nanami is a good friend and high school buddy to gojou and nanami would definitely call him ‘coworker’ or something along those lines when hes annoyed him too much or doesnt want gojou to benefit too much from simple acknowledgement.  gojou thinks hes an ascended being but he definitely respects and finds nanami to be a strong sorcerer and was rather surprised when he took the 9 - 5 job but it was definitely safer.

death ... ah, i think about this all the time.  it’s like losing suguru all again except he didnt go rogue and kill a whole village.  hes absolutely confident in nanamis abilities to fend off curses and hes too stubborn to let himself die as well, so the idea of him dying doesnt ever cross his mind.  thats a true stab to the gut to hear that nanami has died, maybe a moment of truly being unhinged and a darker nature but we wont rly know until it happens in the manga, which i cant wait.  i mean, at least mei mei, utahime, and shouko are around but this is nanami were talking about.  if this was in terms of a romantic relationship rather than a simple seemingly one - sided friendship of enjoying of being around that person but that person just tolerating him and hoping he goes away eventually.  i can’t say, i can’t say!  just take these thoughts with like a grain of salt.

also that last statement in the ask, gojous smiles are fake and a mask while the rare times nanami does smile, its genuine.

regardless of what i said, i think it can be a comfy ship!  this ship isnt toxic but any means (unless u make it toxic then well, thats a you thing) so just enjoy it!  i know i do i think as long as u recognize that maybe neither of them being a relationship would benefit the other then go stupid go crazy, i know i will.

[rightnowyoucanttell]

Malibu, Next To You

Title: Malibu, Next To You 

Summary: Is it supposed to this hot all summer long? Or is it just him? A very fluffy date with some minor molehills between Veronica and Grayson on a Malibu beach. Just because the sun is down, the night is still young, and so are they. But which way does it go...

Warnings: Fluff, implied smut (I don’t write smut, sorry guys), talks of anxiety 

A/N: When this idea came to mind, i say that because i have a roughly planned full series timeline in my head it started with just the first part as a blurb but then I was like hey let's make a series, it was originally to be a reader insert (Y/N, Y/L/N, ect.) but i always have problems doing that as they feel too weird to write so I came up with Veronica and added it to the plot/timeline whatever you'd call it. so you can do that or appreciate it for the beauty it is with Veronica and Grayson. 

Tags: @dzoint ​ @graysavant @blindedbythelightt ​ @tadadolan @heartofalionxo ​ @beatement-l ​  @grayswhore ​@saggitariusagirl @tattoogray @onlyangels-world @dxlxnbby

Part one 

Series Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know..” Ronnie drifted as she walked kicking the sand beneath her feet forward in a rhythmic pattern,” I’ve never enjoyed going to the beach..” Veronica glanced up from the sand and over to Grayson who gazed down to the ground before making eye contact.

The smell of saltwater brushed their noses, seagulls cawed in the distance as the water crashed closer and closer and then pulled itself back out. The pair, Ronnie and Gray watched the sunset as they walked barefoot as the tide came in and set back out, like both of their hearts, coming to a calm stop and then flooding back in a rampage of fluttering butterflies, beating in there chest.

He explained the currents and she just gawked in a secretive manner, so he didn’t notice, the dumbfounded look his body gave her. 

    “Really? You don’t say, I mean I figured that much, for someone who has a fear of seagulls and drowning…” he pondered the thought as his feet stopped the wallow in the incoming tide that was just far enough from Ronnie who was in the dry portion of sand.

She giggled shaking her head continuing down the shore all while facing Grayson,”..are you saying you’re not enjoying yourself?” he shouted over the crashing waves that he ran from to catch up to her. 

“You remembered…,” Ronnie’s heart fluttered. Grayson knew about her anxiety.  Ronnie explained to Grayson that night in Starbucks, her fears, in return for him doing the same.  There was a semi prolix list. Seagulls, birds, circus clowns, large crowds, heights, and significantly Drowning.

She shook herself from the bliss and continued, “but, no. No no, no.. of course not. You brought me here!” she exclaimed twirling with open arms, the wind catching her grey wool shawl that covered her white strapless sundress with bright red roses.

Her damp dark brown hair caught in the breeze flew gently, her eyelids covered her vibrant green eyes. Grayson’s eyes followed Veronica in awe as she twirled in the sand and breeze all the way as she ran back to him and nearly ran into him. 

   The two laughed and turned around to walk back to the there picnic blanket, both inaudible deciding it was time to eat,” Your something else, you know that?” he offered up to the conversation. His hand brushed against gently against Ronnie’s. 

   Ronnie just smiled letting silence sit between then,”..Something good I hope…” the entirety of the walk back to the picnic blanket and the food was silence, blissful and incentive for Grayson, but nervous and nerve wracking for Veronica. She hastily wondered if she had said the wrong thing, or turned him off or away and that’s why he hadn’t said anything, but she tried telling herself it was just the anxiety and the nerves this Italian boy from New Jersey stirred up. 

  Veronica Chandler likely always would be anxiety-ridden. After all, Fears my life, Ronnie had the words tattooed on and wrapping around her wrist. The black ink still had water droplets from when she had been swimming and wading in the water with Grayson. Veronica left the fishing on her stepfather’s, Darren,  boat to him and her older brother Noah, even all the while, an excelling science student, she never got how they were floating.  

    However, if tonight, if Grayson asked her, Ronnie probably would step foot on a boat.  She never willing went to the beach, even though living in Miami with private beach access growing up at her home, and certainly did not stand by the ocean. But on this evening, Grayson brought her there, and she was happy that he did.

So here they were. 

  The sunset warmed Veronica the pinks and blues entangling themselves, like the hopes of how Veronica undeniably wanted to be entangled with Grayson later that night. Something in Grayson hoped it too.

On a picnic blankets, following a stroll along with the tide on the now rather deserted from the public eye, on a beach in Malibu. Munching on what Ronnie’s mom would call “Rabbit Food”. 

  “This is one of the best wraps I’ve ever tasted,” Ronnie added as she quietly finished chewing her toes in the sand below and surrounding the blanket. 

"Its from.." Grayson paused to chew," this stand in downtown LA, Marty's I think, they're delicious." They made eye contact, Ronnie smiled with her eyes, covering her mouth as she was chewing.

"We should go together sometime,"Ronnie offered nervously.

 "Defiently...,"Grayson brushed his hands above the wrap on a clear piece of plastic wrap beefy ass salad chickpea wrap sat on, in between final swallows of his bites of food he started, "so... care to explain why you ignored me for a week, 'ronica?"

   That's when the evening went south.

What Grayson didn't know, that the week Veronica avoided him..one week desperate Gray was left with no sign she was alive, no text, calls, and no DM’S except the confirmation seen from the first night. 

 That week the week she ignored him, the week he was referring too, Veronica,  was in Miami visiting her mother. Veronica had deep-rooted feelings for Grayson.. but, again, like a record used, the last had left a few scratches, and overtime... they scarred.

But it was nothing, Gianna, Mama Chandler couldn't fix...

   Ronnie sighed heavily,"Why does everyone I love settle for someone so low of them?" She pondered the thought in silence as she finished her rant of the night she met Grayson.

 “..well, he sounds like a keeper..and handsome....,” her mother drifted. Ronnie wasn’t paying attention fondling with the small strands that belonged to the blue and white polka-dotted beach towel her mother and herself were tanning on. Within seconds her attention was grabbed by an incoming frisbee, that landed...perfectly in one of the white polka dots. Ronnies eyes widened when she caught its sight, she gazed curiously and then picked it up examine it, before tossing it to the wind aimlessly,”-Veronica! You could have hit someone!” Gianna gently smacked the four-arm of her daughter’s right hand with the back of her hand. 

    “Mom!? What the fuck? Did you not see that it landed in the circle, that’s not a coincidence...that’s a fucking conspiracy. Like how a cartoon predicted 9/11 and then moon landing was faked...," Ronnie slumped back so her back rested against the beach chair set up behind her. 

"It was an accidental coincidence..dear," her mother licked the tip of her finger pulling the pages apart. Her sun hat covers her sunglasses covered eyes, and held her brown hair in place around her shoulders, she was paler than Ronnie, she and noah got there skin from her absentee father, he was the Brazilian in her jeans.

"Yeah well, accidents don't just happen, accidentally, mother," Veronica huffed and crossed her arms leaning back farther and closing her eyes, enjoying momental peace before the woman started up again.

"When you head back to Los Angeles, you better text that boy, I'll be damned if you pass up a chance with someone like that. He's a good one that Grayson, I can tell. You cant let your life wither away to nothing and give up on love because of one bad drinker and a beater bad apple.. theres good people out there.. you just gotta look in front of you."

The memory on the beach faded, she hadn't realized she had been gazing into Grayson's hazel eyes the entire time the flashback played out in her head like a scene from a movie,"do you, uh. Really want to know? Is it fundamentally necessary.." she drifted off leaving a tenacious gap of silence. Just the wind and the waves to be heard.

Grayson scoffed a chuckle,"..well, no, but, I'd like to know."

Ronnie thought for a few moments, if she didnt tell him, he'd be suspicious, if she told him he might doubt the feelings she had if they were legitament,"I was in Miami. With my mom, i needed advice. A break. I was worried you were..a player. And now I know, I know that your not. Your kind, cute, hot, sexyyy, and-"Veronica's ramble was cut off by Graysons hands wrapping and cupping her head into his hands and pressing his lips to hers.

Internal fire works went off, if it were a movie they would be exploding over the water between there heads just visable to camera shot. Both hearts beat against there respective rib cages, not knowingly they both had been wating for this moment the entirety of the night.

Ronnie's hand came to touch Grays chest shortly before she came up to breath in the salty air,"that.." she panted,"was hot. But, I dont know.. if this'll work. I'm lonely and broken.. and can barely take care of myself, just, Grayson-"

"I like that your broken, and lonely" he grasped her face one hand still behind her head his thumb caressing her cheek,"not like in a kinky sort of way," they both laughed for a few seconds, Ronnie looked down. He placed his pointer fingern underneath her chin, tilting it up,"I could be lonely with you.."

"My place or yours?" She smirked. Hoping that night of entanglement would happen after all.

"Mine, definetly mine." He breathed there chins pressed together.

Ronnie had never run faster than she didn that night, all the way back to the porsche.