#no I don't care for grammar lol

[liltaireissocute]

[PERC'ILDAN]

my favourite 'idiots in love' dynamic

[autisticlee]

working through autisitc traumas with my therapist. she wanted me to figure out why I have such a trauma response to doing art collabs with people.

after some poking at my brain, a repressed memory revealed itself and started unfolding. i remembered i was bullied by other artists during a collab, but not the details. then i remembered i saved some screenshots and went through them which unfolded more. it was the time I did my first and so far only art collab. it was meant to be a happy and fun experience, but turned so bad so fast. it was on twitter some years back and i was very much bullied by the mod of it and my collab partner who was his best friend. i truly, genuinely didn't understand why or what was happening??? and couldn't get answers. never got answers. trying to get answers was a big bad no-no. any attempts to ask clarification or explain things made me the "bad guy with behavior problems" but of course this was never explained or talked about with me at all. apparently because if it was, i would be "butthurt" or something. i was never given the opportunity to even discuss it, which i would have preferred, because i like to work through things and have honest and open communication at all times until any conflict is resolved! so this supposed "behavior" i didn't know about was only used later to insult me behind my back, instead of talking it out.

because of course being autistic and trying to ask clarification, understand a problem, wanting to make things better, or explain a misunderstanding means you just have bad behavior, are attention seeking, are trying to start drama and be offensive, have a bad attitude, and are a horrible person 🙄 we all hear this all the time right? many allistics are incredibly offended by us trying to understand what their problem is, not being able to read their minds, and trying get them to have clear and honest communication with us. they rather "drop it" and not discuss it and then blame us when the problem doesn't magically go away! they perceive any attempt at communication as an attack on them. and since we don't play their games how they want or expect, we are the bad person who is doing it "on purpose" apparently!

i've debated back when this happened if I should post these screenshots I have. especially since I didn't get screenshots for all the stuff that was happening. like when the group chat disappeared, I was unable to get anything from before that. if they deleted stuff too quick and i only got the popup notif on my phone but it was gone on twitter, i didn't get it. also i only did screenshots to share with my friend chat and ask them if they understood what was happening because i was so confused. and didn't know there was a problem until it was too late. so i didn't record everything.

I, for the life of me, cannot figure out what was happening. to this day. i'm SO CONFUSED. truly, genuinely, swear on my entire existence, agreeing to accept being cursed and cast to hell if i'm lying at all, i do not understand and was not trying to cause any harm on purpose.

they either genuinely thought I was doing something wrong on purpose and it was all a huge misunderstanding, because i struggle with words due to my disability, and they misread the tone of my texts or something else. i gave them the benefit of the doubt and tried to work it out. but they refused to work out with me.

OR they were just being bullies on purpose and trying to gaslight and accuse me instead for fun? i don't know! if they misunderstood me and decided to take it out on me instead of talking it out, how am i supposed to know what i supposedly did wrong? BECAUSE I DID NOT KNOW. i can only make guesses.

I can't figure it out. there was no talking with these people because they decided I was a bad, horrible person for trying to talk it out and understand/explain what (i thought) was happening, so they wouldn't have honest communication with me no matter what I did. I would just get shut down and told i'm trying to make drama. I hate drama. but I love clear communication and understanding and fixing problems! sorry if you don't value clear communication and rather take offense to it and call it "drama/bad behavior" lmao.

i do admit i avoided directly talking out problems with my collab partner, mainly because i didn't know there was a problem or how or approach it??? because it wasn't ME having the problem with them. it was me perceiving they had a problem with me but were silent on it and i was punished for not reading their mind. things started bad with the mod, so i didn't want to "cause more drama" by asking why my collab partner didn't want to talk to me and was ignoring me in the gc. but they also never tried to communicate with me about the problem they may have had, so how is that on me? why is it my job to figure out thir issue and bring it up first? if they don't say anything, i can only assume it's not that big of a deal for them?? right? more on that later with a screenshot

so, I don't even feel like blocking out usernames anymore. i started to but meh i give up. if that's wrong, i apologize. i've decided that if they have the same usernames still and someone decides to take this to them, then whatever. they can either act like an adult, listen to me, and have clear and honest communication in order to work out the misunderstanding, and apologize for THEIR behavior, or they can leave me alone. you cannot claim someone was purposely doing bad things when they are completely clueless about it.

if they think I WAS THE PROBLEM and i don't know what the hell i did wrong, it's THEIR responsibility to tell me. but they did not. the only "problem" they told me about was my art apparently being shit after i definitely NEVER asked for their "advice"

anyway here's some of the screenshots i got along with the story. maybe if someone reads all this you can help explain what the fuck was even happening and help me understand?????????? did i make an honest mistake and not realize, or were they just being bullies like my old friend gc told me? but i'm using this post to try to work it out now that my therapist made this repressed memory come back and encouraged me to work through it....

it started when an artist on bts kpop twitter posted about an art collab their friend was hosting that needed more people. i replied and said i'd join! i love collabing and working together with people and would love more art friends! so they added me to the group chat.

when we got enough people, the mod announced that we will choose what member of bts we want to draw and be partnered with one person doing the same member to draw opposite theme arts. i said i'd take yoongi if no one else does. i literally gave an opportunity to let someone else take him because i wanted to be nice! no one else did. only my future collab partner did. i waited and no one said anything. i didn't get a response from the mod but everyone else did for theirs, as he marked them all down and shared the doc screenshot. yoongi still unmarked. i was 110% planning on giving him to someone else IF THEY JUST SAID THEY WANTED HIIM. but literally no one did. yet i kept getting told someone called him already so i have to wait for them to respond?????

so of course i kept trying to ask, because every other member was filling up and only like 2 others + yoongi were left

WHO WERE THESE PEOPLE. WHERE WERE THEY. WHY WERENT THEY TALKING. why was it my responsibility to talk to them if yo u won't tell me who they are! pretty sure i asked who they were so i can talk to them but didn't get a response. i was never told once who these people were???? so as far as i'm concerned, they never existed!

even others in the gc stuck up for me saying i called yoongi first! a few of them even dm'd me saying they're trying and also don't know why i'm being ignored. i asked if they saw anyone else call yoongi first before i was added to the gc so i can message the person, because YOU CANNOT SEE MESSAGES FROM BEFORE YOU WERE ADDED TO A GC. and i was among the last 3 or so to be added. so if someone said it, i literally cannot find proof myself, yet the mod refused to send me proof of the claim. the people who dm'd me said they didn't see anyone else either. i even asked one of them to scroll back and look and send me a screenshot of who claimed him and they said there was no one before me! (i didn't think to screenshot those dms unfortunately. but i got a few where they said it on the gc itself)

"it's about getting here first" while people were saying i WAS first??? according to literally everyone EXCEPT YOU i was first. you refused to tell me who this "real" first was. how am i supposed to talk to them then??? and i have to wait for them to speak up themselves because you refuse to tell me. if i remember correctly, he even said he's not going to call them out and i have to wait for them to reveal themselves. no one did lmao. so WHAT IS FAIR ABOUT ANY OF THIS. it's not fair to me that's for sure.

this is where i didn't get many screenshots because i was suddenly kicked from the chat soon after this. i only have these few because i was asking my friend gc what this meant and what i'm supposed to do since most of my messages are being ignored. there were more of me asking, being ignored, other people trying to speak up for me, and being told yoongi is taken, despite it not being marked off on the doc....all i did here was ask if i can do yoongi if no one else is, and since it looked like no one else was, then asked a few more times because i never got a response until other people started speaking up for me.

it was part of the lost chat, so i didn't get screenshots, but my future collab partner was practically begging everyone to work with them on yoongi. but they all refused and said they already chose a different member and that i chose yoongi first. they weren't asking someone who said they wanted yoongi. they were asking people that chose a different member! so if someone chose him already, why weren't they @'ing that person to ask them??? they even discussed their whole idea which was angel and demon and they were doing the angel side. i said i like that idea and since the others don't want to do yoongi, i'd be happy to do that idea with them! i was ignored. and perhaps i was metaphorically attacked

while i was typing in the text box to send another message, the chat box froze, then the group chat suddenly went blank, and nothing was there anymore, with a popup thing saying there was an error or something, and it wouldn't let me send the message. i thought maybe my internet went out so checked it. it was fine. i thought twitter broke. i restarted the app and the gc was completely gone from my messages??? i thought the mod decided to end it and i didn't see the message because i was typing. so i went to his twitter to see if he posted an update. nothing. then he sends me a message

i was incredibly confused. i figured there was a mistake, but tried to investigate to figure out how twitter broke that bad when i was the only person that had that issue. i said if i figure out what happened, i'd let him know. all i know is i didn't, COULDNT have left the chat by myself. you can't just click leave when you're in the middle of typing a message 😭

so when i joined the gc, i followed everyone in it once we finalized who was part of the collab. but i noticed once i was added back in, there was ONE person i was suddenly no longer following. i asked my friend gc, and they confirmed that if you block (or soft block, aka blocking and unlocking immediately) it makes the person unfollow you, but also kicks you out from any gc you share with them. they know because they blocked each other as a joke sometimes and had to keep adding each other back in the gc after that.

so logically, if i'm suddenly not following one single person in the gc, but i'm still following everyone else. that means they soft blocked me and no one else could have (i didn't know the term soft block at the time, so i didn't use it. so there is a chance they took "block" rather than soft block as a offense? and maybe that was my mistake? but also it could have very well went the same way regardless) but like i said, i let him know that i figured it out! i stated it very matter of factly, as in i wasn't upset but just stating what i thought was facts. what i thought had happened based on my investigation and discussing with my friends. i didn't care at all about the soft block. you do you. if you don't want me to follow and we aren't friends, i don't give a fuck. i was just stating the reason i was suddenly gone from the chat! but if the reason was because we were about to become collab partners and you didn't want that to happen, you owe me words and an explanation. it's not up to me to read your mind and try to figure it out!!!! so i tried to explain my thought process to the mod.

i assume sam here was annoyed at me asking to be partners since all their friends were turning them down and this supposed "first" yoongi-claimer wasn't speaking up. so they decided to "get back at me" by soft blocking because they don't want me following. sure. whatever. but what i don't think they realized was it KICKS ME FROM THE GROUP CHAT.

this is where things get muddy and confusing......and also everything is stacked against me because surprise, my collab partner and the mod are best friends! i don't think alex realized how soft blocking works / wouldn't accept it. wouldn't accept that their best friend was the cause and i didn't "choose" to leave on by myself. i tried to explain how twitter works and he refused to listen

alex was not listening to reason or logic AT ALL. he let his "i must protect best friend" emotions cloud his judgement. he took it as me accusing his best friend of i-don't-know-what offense to purposely try starting drama. well I PERSONALLY didn't see how this was a bad thing??? and i wasn't sharing this info to make it out to be a bad thing at all. i was sharing that i figured out how i was kicked because i said i would if i figured it out! i accepted the soft block and would let that go. a soft block kicking me from the gc was probably a small mistake sam didn't anticipate. maybe they didn't tell alex about it, so maybe alex had no idea. no harm in sam admitting to it and apologizing or even moving on! but it seems sam kept it to themself. it may have all been a misunderstanding. yet when i tried to talk it out but was only shut down.

alex never even acknowledged the fact that sam was begging everyone else to do yoongi with them. why didn't alex tell sam to ask the mysterious "first yoongi asker" i kept getting told existed???? why didn't alex tell sam to talk tot me about about it? why didn't alex tell me who that supposed person was to tell them to dm me? why did they never get yoongi in the end if they existed? why was i by default given yoongi when he was inevitably left over? why was everything my responsibility, my fault, and my problem? why was trying to get clarification and not getting any a bad and horrible thing? why could no one speak clearly, honestly, and straightforward with me? i can only assume these people who claimed yoongi didn't exist and were made up since they never spoke up and alex refused to tell me their name. so obviously they had a problem with me choosing yoongi and refused to speak about it to me! they just hoped someone else would claim him, but turned out everyone was on my side sticking up for me

so i tried to talk about it since no one else would come to me first. i tried to explain that i thought it was because sam wanted to work with their friends they asked who kept turning them down, and especially since the last message i was able to send was saying i'd do it with them since their friends won't. then suddenly poof, i was kicked. but yeah alex won't listen. sam probably lied to him saying they didn't soft block me so they can make me look like the bad guy. despite twitter literally having this mechanic that all pointed to sam doing exactly what i had said. alex had no way of refuting it except deciding i'm a liar. either that, or they were in on it together. but part of me wants to think sam lied and alex truly didn't understand. but try explaining as a stranger to someone their best friend is lying to them.....instead IM the liar i guess LOL

I WAS GENUINELY CONFISED AS FUCK AND TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT AND YOU WERE NOT HELPING AT ALL ALEX. WHY WOULD A LIAR BE CONFUSED???? I DIDNT ACCUSE SAM OF ANYTHING BAD EITHER. I WASN'T DOING DRAMA. I WAS BEING TRUTHFUL AND SERIOUS. I WAS TRYING MY BEST TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND UNDERSTAND SO I COULD TRY TO HELP FIX IT. IF YOU USED YOUR BRAIN AND COMMUNICATED PROPERLY WITH ME INSTEAD OF RUNNING YOUR EMOTIONS MAYBE YOU'D SEE THE LOGIC BEHIND MY WORDS. MAYBE IF YOU COMMUNICATED PROPERLY TO BEGIN WITH THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED

but of course someone will only believe their best friend...but why is soft blocking a bad thing that you need to defend so hard? sure, it's rude, but everyone does it so it was so normalized, i thought it was fine to point out, like genuinely. AND I WAS OK WITH IT I ACCEPTED IT????? they coud have asked me to unfollow and i would have asked why but did it in the end. but if sam had an issue with working with me to the point they wanted me to not follow anymore, they should use their words and speak to me!!!!!!!!! not soft block me away and start this whole nonsense.

i assume i was kicked upon soft block and sam didn't know that's what happens when you soft block and that's why they "didnt know until alex told them" so they panicked and lied to alex about not blocking me (OR they hard blocked and noticed i was out and panicked and unblocked? but soft block sounds more believable to me for some reason) and alex of course took their side and believed them, typical best friend behavior. but still doesn't excuse alex's behavior and deciding i'm the bad person. i tried so hard to fix the issue and come to an understanding but he made up his mind and refused to give me the benefit of the doubt like i'm STILL giving him for some reason! when he doesn't deserve it at this point!

anyway, i'm added back to the gc and i'm FINALLY given yoongi since i'm the only one without an assignment and he's the only one left over. i wasn't even told. the final doc was just posted. so everyone starts discussing their ideas. i said i'm going with what my partner suggested earlier, unless they want to do something else. they didn't respond and tell me they disagreed? they just posted this:

all i had to go off of was what i remembered them saying before i was kicked from the gc. so i started on that. i assumed they didn't want to discuss further when they said this? i also assumed they didn't want to talk to me because i was still sure they soft blocked me because how else would all that happen.....

they ended sending me their art that was not at all the concept they said they were doing in the gc. it didn't match mine so i told them i was doing what they said they were doing and they're like oh fine i guess i have to redo my art. so they redid it. but that's on you for deciding to not discuss it and not doing your original concept.

i think it was while waiting for sam to finish their art, some other weird things were happening???? can't remember if it was only sam or if alex did it too, but they started liking a bunch of my old tweets, so it felt like they were stalking my account (trying to dig up dirt to prove i'm a bad person perhaps?) don't know but it made me feel uncomfy. didn't mention it though. just felt weird so idk what the purpose was

one of the old tweets they found was where i posted a dtiys post ("draw this in your style") which was a twitter trend where artists posted an art that they let other artists redraw, but in their style. basically you copy the art, but in your style. you don't change the general art concept. you are supposed to keep all the main details, not change them to make it look completely different. it's supposed to be recognizable as a redraw, not like a whole different art. at least that's how all the ones i saw were done. unless i misunderstood. also, you're supposed to quote retweet the original art with your art or add the link in your replies to credit the original. here's an example i just found, you can see how you're supposed to do it, how everyone does it:

so these two suddenly posted a dtiys of my art! i was surprised, and at first wasn't suspicious at all, my brain just jumped into grateful mode, so i went to thank them. before i could see it, they were deleted. i clicked the notification popup on my phone and it said no longer exists. a bit later they were reposted and stayed up longer. i waited before i responded this time and they stayed up for a while. this is when i started to get sus since i could look at the posts now. they didn't quote my original art. just posted it and @'d me.

and.....it wasn't the best art. they even both said so themselves in their posts. but mainly it wasn't good because they failed to do the prompt correctly at all. they didn't draw my art in their style. they posted an art not even slightly related to my art! i wasn't going to point this out, but thank them and move on. alex was like "hope you don't mind i changed some details" but there were no detail at all that matched mine so ??????????? it looked like they posted a random unrelated art, maybe slightly edited pretending it was a dtiys. if they did draw whole new arts,,,,,looking like they used an unrelated art they already had done explains how badly they did the whole prompt. but it's not your job to judge if they don't ask you to. so i didn't say anything about that. maybe explains why they didn't quote/link my art like everyone else who did the dtiys did. maybe they didn't want anyone to call out the fact they didn't do the dtiys it right. (but it could have also been them not wanting to give me "clout" by sharing my art with their followers?)

i didn't screenshot alex's full art since i didn't think to do it, but you can see enough of it to see it's nothing close to mine. alex and sam posted at exactly the same time as you can see from the timestamps. so they were obviously planning it together. seemed super sus. and here's my art to compare and see how they didn't do MY art in their style at all. they did a completely different art (the main focus of the art was supposed to be the big hat and the little bird on it, as well as the colors. they didn't do any of those things! it's also meant to be a messy sketch with water color where i was playing with colors. not perfect or realistic! i did this as a way to try to convince myself to NOT be a perfectionist about my art! which makes the things i was told after this so much worse....)

but ok cool. i liked/rt'd both arts. i was able to comment on one, which was alex's, but as i was trying to reply to sam's they deleted

then alex responded to my response. i didn't get a screenshot of the first reply because he deleted it soon after, but i paraphrased the best i could remember to my friends who i asked to help me figure out what was happening, so this was basically the first reply, followed by the second (and my reply to the art that was deleted as well) ((also this was before i went by "Lee" so i crossed out my old name for myself. he/him was also used and i used they/them fulltime now))

after i shared this with my friend gc to ask what they think, one friend got super defensive and said she was going to respond. i told her multiple times not to. she didn't listen because i got a notif that she responded to the thread. so i muted that thread because i said i don't want to be part of that since i told her not to. i even defended alex's pronouns because that friend kept calling him "she" and i told her to stop shitting on his art. we aren't friends anymore, but when we were, i still wasn't defending her decisions there lol so i'm not going to defend her at all now either since some of the replies were her just being mean lmao. her words are her own responsibility, it had nothing to do with me. so i won't share those.

since i muted the thread and didn't look at what they were saying to each other, i got curious and just now went back and looked up my old friend's replies so maybe i can gain some kind of clarity to the situation and make sense of it now. i can't believe what i read from alex, but also i'm not surprised. the thread was broken so might be missing stuff. so this is all that was found. but alex was showing his true colors. tori replied to the above tattoo comment:

i won't include it because it's kinda irrelevant, but alex says he's just giving advice because he apparently ~knows better~ they argued a lot with tori saying alex did the challenge wrong, alex saying he can do what he wants. and alex saying he and sam didn't like the art they did so both deleted it. tori saying there's no reason to delete and they should keep it up out of respect. and why even post it if you don't like it lmao, especially after you insulted my art. then, for no reason, alex was just being super nasty towards me/my art for no reason when i had nothing to do with what tori was saying! basically he seems to have revealed his true colors!

what does alex EVEN MEAN here. i don't understand it lmao. is he trying to say he sees why i don't have art friends because i had a protective friend group???? how's that make sense LOL and oh standing up for your friend is "disrespectful and uncalled for"?? i guess you're also disrespectful then alex. you defending sam and calling me a liar was uncalled for! hypocrite. who do you think YOU are????

ANYWAY if you hate my art so much, why the fuck did you choose that art for dtiys challenge???? why even do a dtiys of my art at all????? i had many other arts to choose from!!!! if your whole reason was just so you would be able to insult my art, then what the fuck. why bother? but alex clearly hated my art SO MUCH. so i can't understand why he chose to do it unless it was for the purpose of bullying????? especially when he and sam both admitted to not putting effort into it! even though he had to ~spend so much time fixing my mistakes~ 🙄 i'm going to puke on him. what. you can't "fix other people's mistakes" in art. it doesn't work that way.

the thread got split so i will try to put them together in order. apologies if it's confusing!

to use your own words against you alex, i don't know who you think you are but. no one made you king of art and gave you the right to judge others' LMAO "as a tattoo artist i have the right to judge--" NO YOU DONT YOU ELITIST FOOL. that's hilarious. and you called the whole thing "utterly awful" so this wasn't just about tattoos. and the contradicting himself? first saying he had to "spend hours fixing" then turns around to say "have better things to do than fix other ppl mistakes" make up your mind. did you spend hours on it or rush to finish? and you don't get to call other people's art a "mistake" lmao

next, "it's not bad to seek advice" THATS THE PROBLEM ALEX. I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE. did you not know it's extremely rude to give "advice" when not asked? it's rude and looked down on to criticize someone's art to their face when they didn't ask. you don't try to help if they didn't want help. (especially when it was one art i posted about being very proud of! it was like this was on purpose!) i don't think alex wanted to help at all, especially when his "advice" was about being destructive and not constructive at all. i can't learn from insults. there was no real advice. only telling someone they did wrong or bad isn't advice lmao. IF YOU ARE GOING TO CRITISIZE do NOT give DESTRUCTIVE advice by pointing out what is "bad/wrong" instead be constructive and actually say how to improve. but only if asked!!!!! alex was WAY more destructive than constructive! all he did was point out what he didn't like. the only thing i "realized" is alex thinks he's king shit, has some kind of complex where he thinks he's the best at art, thinks he has the right to judge when he does not, and sucks at giving advice lmao

also, he claims to be a tattoo artist, but i doubt that was true. i can believe a wannabe who was studying or something, but i doubt he was even a trainee who did a single tattoo before. maybe he started after, but there's no way this person was an actual tattoo artist at this time. (he better work on his attitude AND art first to be honest) i bet i've been doing art longer than he's been alive so if anyone is allowed to judge, uh i mean, give advice, it's me. but i'll be nice and not insult, um i mean, give unwanted advice about his art :)

i should go to you because you're the mod, alex? tori was wrong here. because I TRIED AND ALEX CALLED ME A LIAR WHO WAS TRYING TO START DRAMA. why would i trust you and try to talk it out again when you shut me down the first time!!!!! and ignored me in the gc until everyone else spoke up for me asking why you're ignoring me!!!!!! and he still held onto me "leaving the group chat" which is completely false. i really wish i had screenshot the gc when it suddenly cleared all messages and told me there's an error, but i did not because i genuinely thought it was a real error!

and.............*autistic facepalm* we all heard this a lot haven't we? my "BeHaViOr" lmao. put that on the autism bingo card! "scared away because of (their) behavior and ended up leaving the chat" WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. my "behavior" scared me and made me leave the gc? what????? please make sense!!!

"immature behavior that made people want to leave" who the fuck wanted to leave? most everyone was standing up for me when you and sam were ignoring me???? no one said they had a problem with me! if they did, they could come to me about it, or you could tell me. but no, no one told me ANYTHING AT ALL.

"made me uncomfortable" you and sam made ME uncomfortable lmao. so i guess we are even!

"(their) behavior meant (they were) clearly seeking attention" i don't understand how???? who was i "seeking attention" from???? IF I WANTED TO SEEK ATTENTION i would have posted my screenshots on main on twitter, making a long thread, to expose your rotten asses to all your friends!!!!!!! not keep them for nearly 5 years and dissociate the memories away, only to unlock them in therapy and post them quietly here where i doubt anyone will see it, just so i can work out the trauma you left me with. maybe i should have been "attention seeking" and exposed you to everyone!!!!!

anyway, so me asking things in the gc and getting ignored with no clarification at all, then suddenly being kicked form the gc and telling you what happened when i figured it out, all while trying to fix your poor communication problems for you is apparently seeking attention now LOL. don't make me laugh. if you got to know me at all, i am the last person to "seek attention" and rather not be perceived. but i don't take kindly to being ignored, so of course i kept asking when you refused to respond??? how is that "immature behavior" unless me explaining that i DID NOT LEAVE THE GC MYSELF is "immature behavior" to you because your bestie lied to your face. but you'll never believe me over them so that means i'm wrong i guess 🙄

"under the impression that some other person also wanted to do yoongi" alex, my guy. my bro. buddy. this is exactly where all the problems started. you can't put this all on this imaginary person who supposedly wanted to do yoongi that you had no proof even existed in the first place! the person you refused to tell me the name of when i asked, who you told me to discuss this with. but instead insisted that i wait for them to speak up first, which they did not! just TELL ME WHO THEY ARE SO WE CAN TALK IT OUT. WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO DO???? this was all while sam begged everyone else in the gc to do yoongi with them, ignoring me too. and not asking the imaginary person who claimed him "first" which can only mean no one else actually called him but me, and sam just didn't want to work with me. IF THATS THE ISSUE JUST TELL ME AND I WILL TRADE WITH SOMEONE WHAT THE FUCK. WHY WERE YOU MAKING THIS SO HARD. USE YOUR WORDS. NO ONE CAN READ YOUR MINDS. you both hoped someone else would step in to claim yoongi from me, but no one did. they all ended up being on my side instead and not helping you. cry about it.

also, if this person existed you should have put their name down on the doc but you did not, instead you said yoongi was still open to be picked for anyone, except for me apparently. i said "if no one else is doing it" the first time and no one else jumped in. i was clearly willing to give it away! if only you just talked about it with me honestly instead of playing these weird mind games..... you cannot put the blame on me here when you have worse communication skills than me, the autistic person lmao (i sear i have better communication skills than most allistics despite how much i struggle with it!)

but yeah of course, alex doesn't care if i'm autistic. he "couldn't care less and ain't gonna judge someone because of that" but this whole problem is him judging me for being autistic tbh. you don't understand autism CLEARLY since you were extremely unwilling to accommodate my communication needs (clear, straightforward, honest) and decided to play mind games instead

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS "BEHAVIOR" I SUPPOSEDLY HAD?!?!?!? you "never pointed it out because you didn't want me to be butthurt" (your calling ME immature and you're using "butthurt" lmao ok that's hilarious) you judge me for my "behavior" but refuse to "point out" what this behavior even is, when i NEED TO BE TOLD THINGS IN ORDER TO NOW ABOUT THEM. autism 101, try learning about it! me thinks it's an excuse because he can't actually tell me what i did wrong since there was nothing lmao

i don't like how tori worded this with the "doesn't know any better" part though. sounds like she's trying to excuse ACTUAL bad behavior, sinxe that happens all the time and i don't agree with that. it makes me angry. but she is right in that i don't know a lot of the time. IF NO ONE TELLS ME. you have to mention it to me and not expect me to read your mind! if i get no indication of how you feel based on my "behavior" then, how am i supposed to know i apparently did something wrong? (tbh i'm trying so hard to figure out what could have led to this, like what i did "wrong," because i'm the type to admit to my mistakes and try to learn fom them, and cna't even come up with anything at all. so it just sounds like pure victim blaming to me and trying to pretend he was the true victim)

but how am i supposed to know that asking why i wasn't marked down for yoongi and who this supposed other person was is "bad/immature behavior" LOL I CANNOT READ YOUR MINDS. the only other thing i said in the group chat was telling sam i loved their idea so i'd love to work with them since it looks like no one else is calling yoongi and he's the only one left. real immature of me 🙄

i know there was more, because tori was sharing some screenshots in the group chat and i remember her pointing out that sam joined in too and i think one of their other friends. they started shit talking her AND me in spanish, thinking we wouldn't understand. funny that my spanish speaking friend was reading all their replies and translating in the group chat LOL. i don't have those. i didn't screenshot the translation chats and didn't see them appear in the thread i just looked at.

after that, everything stopped i think. i don't remember anything else, so i think my crazy friends scared them off. we aren't friends anymore but i'm grateful for the help that i didn't ask for since in the end it made them leave me alone. i begrudgingly finished my art and turned it in. i decided to finish it because once i decide a thing, i stick to it, even if i'm super stressed and unhappy. but i also figured i'd be petty and not let sam have fun by getting a new partner since i didn't like whatever was happening. you're suffering with me buddy. didn't interact with them again after the collab ended. the end. alex sometimes sent messages pretending to be nice and stuff but i know it was all fake, especially after seeing the things he said to tori about me.

so.............WHAT THE FUCK. is there any explanation lmao. what was their reason? what was the purpose? i'm so confused. i want to understand them and why they did what they did (i know i will never. wanting to understand and struggling to accept i never will is a huge flaw of mine that i need to figure out how to stop, but don't know how)

i wish i had all the screenshots for better context, but at least there's a few. if someone reads this, do you have an explanation? is this a case of my autistic flaws caused a misunderstanding and i "did something wrong" in their eyes because they misunderstood, is it allistics suck at communicating even more than me and autistic person who is supposed to be the one "bad at communicating", or are they just bullies?

my conclusion is that they are bad at communication, sam threw a fit and made a mistake which they lied about, alex misunderstood and then blamed me for everything and decided i'm a bad person, so they did weird things to bully me, leading to alex saying really rude and insensitive things about me to tori when called out, playing the victim in it all when it's obvious he was in the wrong. sound about right?

[sithbelle]

Ok, be honest with me. We're all friends here, right? Besides, nobody is going to see what you answered, so tell the truth.

I'm very curious to get a glimpse of the behind-the-scenes culture of Writeblr. Thanks for participating!

[pardi-real]

Holy cow.

TIL the word for how a word or a name is pronounced is written as "pronunciation". I really thought it was "pronounciation".

Pro-Nun. Well I love Arknights Specter.

That reminds me some years ago I was absolutely bamboozled by "similar" & "available", I thought those were written as "similiar" & "avaible" .

My life is a lie.. all this from being curious on how to pronounce "Berrien County Jail".

[justaholeinmysoul]

I just Remembered that one mistake native English speakers often make that drives me nuts that is basically the equivalent of the Italian a posto/apposto: "I'm apart of group x" instead of a part of. Ugh no!

[satellite-evans]

Drunk in love

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x reader

Summary: When their wives get drunk, it is up to the Bridgerton brothers to take care of them ;)

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Kate and reader are drunk lol, just pure fluff

A/N:

this is just something silly I had in my mind lol enjoy

English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, recommendations, vents or questions are always welcome. I love talking to you guys about anything <3

Happy reading xxx

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.

The Bridgerton household was steeped in the soft glow of the evening, and in the library, two brothers sat comfortably. Benedict Bridgerton leaned back in his chair, a small smile playing on his lips as he listened to Anthony's latest tirade about the complexities of running the family estate. The occasional crackle of the fire punctuated Anthony’s words, creating a comforting backdrop to their conversation.

"It's all well and good for you, Benedict," Anthony was saying, "to prance about with your paints and canvases. But someone has to keep this family afloat."

Benedict chuckled, shaking his head. "You take life far too seriously, Anthony. One day, you'll realize there's more to it than ledgers and land."

Before Anthony could retort, a burst of laughter erupted from the drawing room, loud enough to make both men pause. They exchanged curious glances, and without a word, rose to investigate the source of the commotion.

As they approached the drawing room, the laughter grew louder and more infectious. Pushing the door open, they were met with a sight that brought simultaneous smiles and sighs to their faces. There, amidst a sea of discarded shawls and half-empty wine glasses, were their wives: Y/N and Kate, draped over the settee in fits of giggles.

"My love," Benedict began, striding over to Y/N, who looked up at him with sparkling, mischievous eyes.

"Ben!" Y/N exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "Have you come to join our party?"

Anthony moved to Kate, who was similarly animated, her cheeks flushed with wine. "What on earth is going on here?" he asked, unable to keep a smile from his lips.

"We were just... having a bit of fun," Kate replied, her words slightly slurred. "Isn't that right, Y/N?"

Y/N nodded enthusiastically, her grip on Benedict tightening. "Yes! And you should have been here, Benedict. We were planning all sorts of adventures!"

Benedict exchanged a knowing look with Anthony. "It's getting late," he said gently. "Perhaps it's time to retire for the night before we wake the whole household."

"But we’re not tired!" Kate protested, though she yawned right after.

"Yes!" Y/N said eagerly. " We have work to do. We need to save the pirates!"

Benedict looked at Anthony with a confused look on his face, not understanding a word his wife is saying.

"The pirates? What pirates?" He asked his wife.

"Silly Benedict, the pirates that got captured of course! If we don't help them they will die or worse, catch a cold." Kate said to her brother-in-law while slurring the words, indicating that the night was surely over for the 2 ladies.

With a mixture of gentle coaxing and persuasive charm, Benedict and Anthony managed to guide their wives towards the staircase, their efforts accompanied by more giggles and shushing noises. Y/N and Kate were like a pair of mischievous schoolgirls, clutching each other for support as they swayed precariously.

"Shhh, we must be quiet!" Kate whispered loudly, her finger pressed to Y/N's lips.

"Yes, shhh!" Y/N echoed, though her laughter threatened to spill over.

Benedict exchanged an amused glance with Anthony. "Easier said than done," he muttered, placing a steadying hand on Y/N's waist.

The trek upstairs was a comedic parade of whispered laughter and shuffling feet. Y/N, in her drunken state, decided it was a brilliant idea to try walking on her tiptoes to avoid making noise. She stumbled, her giggles turning into a high-pitched squeal as Benedict caught her just in time.

"My hero," she declared, leaning heavily against him.

"Always," Benedict replied, his voice filled with warmth.

Meanwhile, Anthony had his hands full with Kate, who seemed determined to recount an elaborate and entirely fictitious tale about their latest adventure. "And then the pirate said, 'No, it's my treasure!' and I told him, 'You can have it, but only if you dance a jig!'"

Anthony shook his head, suppressing his laughter. "Let's get you to bed, love. You can tell me the rest of the story tomorrow."

As they finally reached the top of the stairs, the brothers carefully navigated their wives down the hall to their respective bedrooms. Y/N clung to Benedict, her fingers playing with the buttons of his shirt.

"Do you know what we should do, Ben?" she whispered, her voice conspiratorial. "We should have our own little party. Just you and me."

Benedict raised an eyebrow, amused. "Is that so?"

Y/N nodded, her movements exaggerated by the effects of the wine. "Yes. And I have... ideas." She bit her lip, trying to look sexy for her husband but failing miserably.

Benedict couldn't help but laugh softly at her earnest expression. "I'm sure you do, darling. But I think you might regret them in the morning."

She pouted, leaning in closer. "You're laughing at me," she accused, though her own lips twitched upwards.

"Never," Benedict said, kissing her forehead. "I just find you utterly adorable."

Y/N’s pout deepened. "I’m trying to seduce you, Benedict Bridgerton, and you’re laughing."

Benedict wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "And I love you for it," he murmured. "But you’re far too drunk to remember this tomorrow."

Y/N huffed, but her eyelids were already drooping. "Fine. But you owe me, mister."

"I’ll gladly pay my dues," he promised, tucking her under the covers, making sure she was comfortable.

Once the bedroom doors softly clicked shut behind them, Benedict and Anthony exchanged amused glances, their expressions a mix of fond exasperation and lingering mirth.

Anthony let out a low chuckle, shaking his head slightly. "Well, that was certainly an eventful evening."

Benedict grinned, running a hand through his hair. "Indeed. I never knew Y/N had such a penchant for dramatic declarations."

"And Kate," Anthony added with a raised eyebrow, "tyring to save pirates? I wonder where she comes up with these ideas."

Benedict chuckled softly, moving to pour himself a glass of water. "It’s all part of their charm, I suppose. Makes life interesting."

Anthony nodded thoughtfully, leaning against the dresser. "Indeed it does. They certainly keep us on our toes."

Silence settled between them for a moment, the sounds of the quiet house filling the space. Benedict took a sip of water, his eyes twinkling as he glanced at Anthony. "At least they provided us with some entertainment."

Anthony grinned, raising his glass in a mock toast. "To our adventurous wives and the mornings after."

Benedict laughed, clinking his glass against Anthony's. "May we always be prepared for their antics."

The next morning, the dining room was a scene of quiet activity as the Bridgerton family gathered for breakfast. Sunlight streamed through the large windows, casting a warm glow over the table laden with a variety of morning fare. Benedict and Anthony were already seated, exchanging knowing glances as they sipped their coffee.

"Good morning," Anthony greeted with a wry smile, his voice a bit too cheerful as Kate and Y/N finally made their way downstairs. The two women looked thoroughly sheepish, their faces pale and their movements slow, battling clear signs of a hangover.

Kate, with a hand on her throbbing head, groaned softly as she took her seat. "Please. Not so loud, Anthony," she muttered, reaching for a slice of toast but ultimately settling for a glass of water.

Y/N, trailing slightly behind, sat down next to Benedict, doing her best to avoid his amused gaze. "Good morning," she mumbled, her voice hoarse, reaching for a cup of tea as if it were a lifeline.

Benedict leaned over, a smirk playing on his lips as he whispered in her ear, "How’s your head, my love?"

She shot him a sideways glance, her cheeks coloring. "Let’s not talk about it," she replied, taking a tentative sip of her tea.

"But you were quite the charming seductress last night," Benedict teased gently, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

Y/N buried her face in her hands, groaning softly. "I’m never drinking that much again."

At the other end of the table, Kate was having a similar conversation with Anthony. "Honestly, I can't remember the last time I felt this awful," she confessed, gingerly rubbing her temples.

Anthony chuckled, passing her a plate of fruit. "Perhaps next time you’ll heed my warnings about overindulgence."

Kate shot him a baleful look, but there was a hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth. "Don’t be smug, Anthony. It’s not becoming."

"Who, me? Never," Anthony replied with a wink, earning a soft laugh from Kate despite her discomfort.

As the morning continued, the initial awkwardness began to fade, replaced by the comforting normalcy of family life. Eloise and Colin entered the room, their curiosity piqued by the unusual quietness of their typically lively sisters-in-law.

"Good morning," Eloise said brightly, her keen eyes darting between Kate and Y/N. "You two look like you’ve been through the wars."

"Something like that," Y/N muttered, managing a small, embarrassed smile.

Colin, always one for humor, grinned broadly. "Did we miss an adventure last night?"

"Let’s just say it was a night to remember," Benedict replied, his eyes meeting Y/N’s with a tender affection that spoke volumes.

Eloise raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Do tell."

"Another time, perhaps," Y/N said quickly, the color rising in her cheeks again.

As the conversation flowed around the table, the bonds of love and laughter only grew stronger. Despite their mortification, Y/N and Kate couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for their husbands’ gentle teasing and unwavering support.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" Benedict asked Y/N, his tone light but with a hint of curiosity.

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to piece together the fragmented memories. "Bits and pieces," she admitted. "I remember laughing a lot. And I think I tried to..." She trailed off, her cheeks flushing.

Benedict chuckled, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "You were very determined to have a private party," he said, his eyes twinkling. "It was quite the spectacle."

Y/N groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I’m so embarrassed."

"Don't be," Benedict said softly, leaning closer. "I love seeing every side of you, even the tipsy, adventurous one."

At the other end of the table, Kate was facing a similar interrogation. "So, what exactly were you and Y/N plotting in the drawing room?" Anthony asked, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

Kate looked mortified, her face pale except for the flush of her cheeks. "I think we were planning an expedition to find some pirate treasure," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Or something equally ridiculous."

Anthony laughed, the sound rich and warm. "You certainly had quite the adventure in mind. Perhaps we should consider a career change?"

"Very funny," Kate muttered, though she couldn’t help but smile at his good-natured teasing.

The rest of the family, picking up on the mood, joined in the light-hearted banter. Colin leaned back in his chair, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "It seems our sisters-in-law have a penchant for late-night escapades. We'll have to keep an eye on them."

Eloise, never one to miss a chance to tease, added, "I think it’s wonderful. We could use more excitement around here. Perhaps next time, I'll join in the fun."

"Absolutely not," Anthony interjected firmly, though his smile betrayed his true feelings. "Two tipsy adventurers are quite enough."

Amidst the laughter and teasing, the lingering embarrassment began to fade. Y/N and Kate, though still feeling the effects of their overindulgence, found themselves relaxing, their initial mortification replaced by a growing sense of comfort. The warmth and acceptance from their family wrapped around them like a cozy blanket, reinforcing the love that bound them all together.

[gojosatorubrainrot]

Scars don't define you💫

Summary: Gojo starts to feel insecure about your love for him because of his scars

Feat: Gojo Satoru x reader

Content: fluff, mentions of Gojo vs Sukuna fight, reassuring, body insecurities, husband!Gojo x Wife!Reader. Ch 261 doesn't exist lol

Wc: 1121

Author's note: Hi!! I've never thought I will ever be doing this but here we are! Encouraged by my gojo friends in discord to continue this drabble🥰 Sorry in advanced for my poor grammar, English is not my first language 🫡

The Shinjuku incident meant a reborn for the the strongest sorcerer, and you, his wife as well. You almost lost the love of your life by the hands of the King of Curses. At first, you thought everything was over when you saw him laying down on the floor, his lifeless body starting to be covered by the heavy snow storm that had began to fall minutes earlier.

You felt useless, after all, you were a non sorcerer, so,as a civilian, you didn't to have another choice than staying where Shoko and the others were watching the battle being broadcasted.

But its been a long time since that jumpscare and you thanked every existent God and also Shoko for bringing your reason of living back to your arms.

Satoru and you both were laying in bed together, you are running your fingers along his scarred face; each fingertips of yours feeling every single injury of his skin.

As you continue with your doing,he closes his eyes at the softness of your sweet touch, at first, he enjoys it a lot, he always loved the way you did it, always being careful as if he was a glass meant to break, but fear set up on his mind;he thought you hated his scars, that you despise them and  those marks ruined his pretty face, that you wouldn't love him anymore and, eventually, you would leave him alone as everyone did during his life, but this time, he wouldn't have a reason of living because you are his everything.

He doesn't even want to think how a life without in it would be, how alone he would feel again just like he did after Suguru's departure.

When that event occurred, when he was ordered to kill his best friend, he has never felt so useless as a sorcerer, but most of all, as a human being, so that was the reason he chose to stay alone for the rest of his days, to prevent someone from getting hurt by the mere fact of being involved with him. That was his idea until he met you at his favorite kikufuku store. He didn't believe in love at the first sight until he met you nor how does it feel to be in love until you.

you, his everything

He was afraid of losing you again, but now it was because of his appearance, he hated those scars because that meant you won't call him pretty angel or pretty face ever again. On the other hand, they were his reminder of a second opportunity, an opportunity he would take advantage of. His second chance to make things right and spend as much time as he could with you: not spending nights working or on mission trips, only with you, his home.

Now he is debating if telling you or not about his insecurity with his scarred skin, because he thinks you would laugh at this and ignore him, but call him silly for thinking that.

As he thinks about that, he sits up, preparing to get his shirt on. You can see how the mood changed, how an intimate moment filled with love and adoration became one filled with insecurities and non spoken words. He is looking for his shirt to put it on and leave the bedroom towards the balcony, so he can spare his mind off a little bit.

You wonder why he was feeling troubled and why he decided to ignore you and not talking with you as he has always done before. You are hesitant about ask him or not, you always wanted to give Satoru his space, you always respected that because after some time, he will come to you and tell you everything between thousands and thousands sorry for not telling you before.

All you can see now is his scarred back, and your intuition is screaming at you to do something so he could open himself up to you. After few seconds, an idea popped up in your mind; while satoru has his head between his hands, you approached to him slowly trying to not get noticed.

Satoru, who was lost in thoughts, suddenly felt your plump and soft lips along his scared back, giving it small pecs and smooches, replacing your lips with your small fingers tracing every single scar. He didn't understand what you were doing so he let you do so. Suddenly,he feels something he has only felt with you and you only: loved, adored, cherished, he was seen as a human, not a pretty face as he has been called few times, the strongest weapon for the jujutsu society, he was Satoru Gojo for you, your Toru.

He turned his head to where you were tracing your fingers and stared at you: you were focused and determined to make him feel alive again.

His small chuckle made you look up and meet those blue eyes you fell in love with many years ago;

"Hi sweets" he whispered without looking away" What are you doing?"

"Hi Toru" you giggled at that nickname he gave you only when you both were in an intimate moment "Nothing, just admiring your beauty" you responded never looking away from his mesmerizing blue eyes.

"Nothing about me is beautiful, princess" he said defeated. "Look at me" he pointed at his scarred skin, despising it, hating it.

"I'm looking at you, Toru. I'm always looking at you and all I see it's the prettiest, the most caring, loving man that I've ever met" you said putting his face in between your hands "I love you,Toru. If you ever think those scars will stop me from loving you, I must tell you don't me well. These scars are telling me that you are here" you give him a kiss in the tip of his pinky nose "alive, with me in our home"

After yours words, Satoru’s eyes immediately fill with tears, but before you notice, he closes his eyes to stop them and leans his head to your warm and reassuring touch, a warm feeling inside his chest arises.

He feels so grateful with you, you are his everything.You stopped caressing him at the moment he opens his eyes, blue like the ocean itself "I love you, angel" he says at the same time you started caressing the scar across his cheek.

"I love you too, Satoru and remember that you can tell me any trouble or inconvenience you are living through, okay? I'll always love you until my last breath" you said finishing the sentence with a quick kiss, which is immediately reciprocated 

With this Satoru knew that he would never feel alone again.

[lovetei]

hellooo!! first of all, i really love your writing!! <3 may i request some solomon smut please?

personally, if i were to actually live through the nightbringer events i would probably be so sad and stressed that it’s not the version of the demon brothers we actually know and love so i would just take a day off from devilsitting and ask my magic-basically-husband to fuck me stupid lol i mean we already live such a domestic life might as well go all the way :D

thank you so much in advance!! <3

Wow... I have the time and energy to write...

--------------------------------------------------

After returning to the past and the brothers having no memories of you, there is only one solution in your mind to forget about them too

Warnings: No proofreading, grammar errors, spelling errors, smut, mind break, erm... There's a little Lucifer on the phone while Solomon ykyk you

Links: Masterlist

--------------------------------------------------

Tired body and even more tired mind.

You dragged yourself through the hallway of cocytus hall to your white-haired husband's laboratory.

Not bothering to knock, you pushed the door open earning a flinch from him "Oh dear, what happened to you?" He even dared to chuckle as he asked.

But his chuckle soon died down when you swiftly swiped all the papers and books off his desk and sat on it, legs wide open.

He smirked, "Say less." he uttered before going down on his knees.

Not even a few minutes ago, with him being down on his knees, you're already bent over the desk.

Your head pressed firmly against the dark wood of his table with him tirelessly fucking you from behind.

He panted, "Oh baby... Are you sad, hmm?" He asked in such a caring tone but the way his grip on your hair gets firmer, the way he condescendingly looked down on you said another thing.

"Those stupid demons not talking to you— haaaa..." He threw his head back as you felt thick globs of his cum escaping your hole and dropping to the floor.

Ringggg

Your eyes shot open, and his grin went wider.

"Oh, no no no no— AGHH?!~" You were about to reach on your phone when he buried himself to the hilt.

Your tears rolled down your cheeks, you have never felt this full... His cum, his cock...

He pressed himself down on you, hugging your waist as he pressed his torso on your back and grabbed your wrist with one hand.

He let out a breathless chuckle "Oh this has just gotten more interesting..!" His pace went faster, he went deeper.

He grabbed your phone with his other hand and looked at who was calling, "Lucifer... What a lucky day!~" He sang.

"Solomon... N-No...!" You trembled out and tried to get the phone from his grasp but failed.

"Hello, MC?"

His regal voice can be heard despite the loud slapping of skin the echoed inside the room.

"Don't worry, honey~ we're muted." as soon as he admitted to that fact, your hands flew away from your mouth and instead ripped the edge of the table for support as he rammed you harder.

"I just want to apologize for what happened earlier..."

Solomon chuckled and gripped your hair, "Come on, say 'it's fine Lucifer~'" He laughed out as he mockingly forced your head to nod.

"Ish— fineeee~" Your tongue lolled out as his hips started to stutter, he's about to cum again.

Just as he felt his orgasms ripped through him, his grip on the phone softened and he dropped it.

"MC...?"

You just wish the way his cum dribbled down your thighs weren't seen.

[bunni-v1]

Bunni that lighter x virgin reader was so GOOD??? YOUR BRAIN SO BIG?? it got me all embarrassed reading it, I had to take breaks in between cause the image of soft dom lighter is just so abgssngausgahstshh???? (I was also blasting ‘Like You Mean’ It by Steven Rodriguez when I was reading ur fic like oh god this song fits lighter so much 😳)

Aaaanyways I was wondering if you have any hcs for the day after lighter takes readers first time or any after care that he’d do? Also bit of a tangent but do you think lighter is the type to have cheesy nicknames for his partner like idk…sugar? Pumpkin? Or would he go the normal babe and doll type

Sorry it’s a bit long, I’m just happy to see lighter writers you all are a blessing thank you for the food 🤲🏼

🍓Hello lovely! Sorry I took so long to get to this, I'm p sure the hype around that fic is over, but this has been on my mind for so long and I just haven't had the motivation. I got some now, though, so here it is! (this is less headcannons and more a whole fic in bulletpoints lol) I hope you enjoy <3

TW: Day after; Alludes to previous sexual intercourse; Grammar Errors

Info: Lighter x Reader; Fluff; Headcannons

-You wake up to sunlight filtering in through the small crack between Lighters blinds, the warmth on your face a kindness that calls you to stir to life. There's a heavy weight across your middle and on your chest, accompanied by a different type of warmth -- human warmth.

-Your eyelids flutter open and, of course, you see your beloved partner Lighter curled up into your chest. He looked so peaceful resting like this, like all his worries had melted away from his mind and into the sheets until he woke up.

-You bring your hands up to play with his fluffy hair, smiling when he huffs a bit in his sleep, burrowing himself further into your chest if that is possible. Even in sleep he was trying to find ways to get you closer to him...

-Though he'd technically gotten you as close as possible last night if the dull ache inside you was telling enough. You could feel the sting in your hips already, and you would certainly limp a little when you got up, but you wouldn't trade it for the world.

-His green eyes blink up at you after a while of playing with his hair, foggy and glazed from sleep. He still finds it in himself to smile affectionately at you, and you can't help but smile back.

-"G'morning beautiful," He rumbles out, voice rough from his moaning last night, "Sleep well?"

-You nod at him, leaning down to press a kiss to his puffy lips in appreciation. That was answer enough for him and he lifted his weight off you in favor of leaning over you.

-He asks you if you're aching anywhere, and promptly massages your hips with the calloused pads of his fingers. The friction still surprisingly pleasant, and the ache in your hips eases up a little. It warms your heart, the amount of care he treats you with.

-He'll coo at you sweetly as he tries his best to ease the pain, mumbling about how much he enjoyed last night. How pretty you are. How much he loves you. How grateful he is you trusted him. All the sweet nothings.

-He takes the morning uncharacteristically slow, having been excused by Caesar apparently, or so he claims. He lazes around with you, happy just to have you in his arms for a while. You do, however, have to get up at some point which he grumbles about when you move to roll out of the sheets.

-You were right about the ache in your hips, you end up limping your way to the shower, and standing for the duration of it sucks. Lighter offers to help you out, but you insist on doing it by yourself (you wouldn't be able to keep your hands to yourself if you'd let him).

-Instead, you let him pick out some old clothes of his to wear, since yours don't exactly smell the best at this point. A too big t-shirt and a pair of sweats that no longer fit him find their way to your arms

-He waits for you patiently, like a puppy locked away from its owner during work hours. It's very cute. He's dressed now, cleaned up by himself while you were gone it seems. He practically leaps to greet you, pulling you into a sweet kiss. You hadn't expected him to be so clingy, but it was incredibly charming.

-He guides you carefully through Blazewood to get breakfast from Cheesetopia -- or, brunch more like it. You figured after your first time you would be a bit awkward, but Lighter didn't allow you any room for that. All was as usual, assuring you that nothing major had changed. Which, why would it have?

-Well... there was one thing...

-Caesar sat in a booth as you walked in, and the grin on her face said it all. She waved you over, and Lighter begrudgingly helped you over. You do your best to hide the limp, though it's absolutely futile with Caesars next words.

-"Have fun last night you two?" She teases, and humiliation washes over you -- Lighter's cheeks also turning a deep red, "No need to answer. We all heard you last night."

-Obviously, everyone around here knew of your relationship with Lighter... they didn't need to know the details. When you don't answer in your fluster, Caesar scoffs and waves her hands playfully. "Just kiddin', I stopped by to check up when you two disappeared. Congrats though!"

-She leaves you to eat after nearly giving you a heart attack, and you happily enjoy what you ordered. Feeling incredibly hungry after the night you had. Lighter doesn't seem to interested in his food, though. Just watching you with that same intensity from last night.

-You ask what's wrong, and he smiles wide at you, "Nothing, just admiring what's mine."

-You don't respond to that, because there's nothing you could say that's nearly as smooth as that.

Bonus:

You had me thinking about the nicknames a lot. I think that he definitely uses babe and baby the most. It's simple and easy to say, and people won't bat an eye if he calls you something like that. But he has other nicknames he uses you, some for specific situations, others just because he likes to switch it up sometimes.

Sugar is something he uses almost exclusively during sex. It's his way of coercing you into letting him take care of you, especially when you're acting all shy like it's an inconvenience. Or when you're afraid to make noise, "Lemme hear ya, Sugar~ Don't be shy~"

Darling is one that's more common to hear him throw out at random. However, it does have a specific use: scaring off other people. When someone is getting a little too friendly, he'll watch for a while until he can't bear it anymore and he has to intervene. He'll wrap his arms around you from behind, press a kiss to your temple, and ask "How're you feelin' Darlin'?" With a sharp glare at the offender

Doll is one that he likes to use to get you to squirm, almost always accompanied by a handsome grin. He uses it more to placate you when you're upset at him in a playful way. Like when his fangirls get a little too excited and upset you, he'll take your face in his hands and hum out, "Y'know they're not even half of what you're worth to me, doll. Stop your worrying."

Pumpkin I hadn't considered, but I think he uses it in private when it's just the two of you. It's a soft kind of thing he uses when you're really warming his heart. Curled up into his side half asleep, you'll hear him whisper it into the crown of your head, "I love you, Pumpkin."

[judesprincess]

fuffly alphabet – Jude Bellingham

note: hii babes, how are you? here im again hehe. an anon asked me for a fuffly alphabet so here it is... just remembering that English is not my first language, so please ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes... also, please let me know if you like it or not! kisses 💋

just a reminder that this is just imaginary and i don't know jude bellingham so i don't know what he's really like

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

you see, jude is without a doubt an affectionate man, but for me (I might be crazy), he might have a little trouble showing it (at the beginning of the relationship); I feel like it's harder for him to show affection romantically than when it comes to family/friends

but of course, have no doubt that as your relationship progresses, that man will have no qualms about showing how affectionate he can be at all times

b = best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

it would definitely be something jude would appreciate a lot. Being an extremely famous soccer player has its advantages, but at the same time it brings with it a lot of self-interested people who don't really care about him and just want fame. So when he realizes that you're not one of those people and that you really want to get to know Jude the person and not "Jude Bellingham," it will certainly be something fantastic for him and he will be very happy because he also wants to get to know you and he wants you to get to know him as he really is. Obviously, at first he wouldn't open up right away. When I think of Jude, I imagine a very smart and even suspicious man, someone who is not easy to impress or figure out, so I imagine it would be something gradual. He would let you in little by little and that would make everything more real and interesting.

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

he certainly loves giving and receiving affection, especially when he is intimate with the person; he's clearly someone who grew up in a structured family and who always provided him with affection and love, so I think he has no problem showing it to someone he cares about/loves

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

jude is a young man who clearly likes to hang out and have fun, but I feel like he would definitely become more domestic with you (which is what I would want if I were with him, since I hate going out) and would definitely love to spend a lot of quality time with you, whether it's watching a movie or talking or even enjoying some good food

as for housework, to be honest, I don't think he's very good at it lol and he definitely doesn't know how to cook, as he himself has said (we would go hungry because I'm not a good cook either); I think you could have a little work with him in that aspect, but with time he would get the hang of it, as you teach him (and push him a little too lol)

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he would definitely do it in a direct and honest way, as painful as it may be; I can't imagine him procrastinating or trying to smooth things over. if you broke up because it wasn't working out anymore or because you didn't have feelings, he would handle it better, but if it was because of lack of time or any other reason that forced you to break up, I don't think he would know how to handle it very well (even if he had been the one to break up)

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quickly would they want to get married?)

i don't think jude is against marriage, but i think he certainly doesn't think about it right now. he's clearly 100% focused on his growing career and enjoying his youth so even if he was completely in love i don't imagine he would think about a commitment to the level of marriage; at most, a serious relationship

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he is visibly a very gentleman, although I think he has his moments – like everyone else – of being in a bad mood or rude

when we talk about the emotional aspect, I think he is a bit of a "stuck" man; I don't imagine him being someone who is easy to show emotionally

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

come on, it's no secret that this man loves hugs and if I'm sure of anything in this life it's that his hugs are wonderful. just watch the way he hugs people, strong and tight and so sincere. I feel that his hugs convey a great sense of security and protection and I imagine that is exactly what he wants you to feel when he hugs you; simply so comforting.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

as sweet and caring as jude can be, I think he understands the weight and meaning of an "I love you" very well and he's definitely not saying it without really feeling it; I imagine it will take him a while to say it, since he wants to be sure that he really means it, but when he does say it, it will be extremely sincere and loud and clear

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

jude gives me very possessive vibes, as if he were saying "what's mine is mine and no one else's" and I feel like that would definitely fit you; he knows that you're not an object but a person with feelings and desires, but you're simply stronger than him. he would definitely hate to see you giving more attention to someone else — especially if it's a man — than him. at the end of the day, he wants you all and completely for himself

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

jude's kisses are definitely intense, that man exudes confidence and intensity; his kisses can't be any different. he will simply kiss you hungrily, but not in a hasty way, it will be intense and passionate as he grips your waist and presses you against some surface.

as for the places he likes to kiss you, I think he just wants to enjoy every part of you so he just explores everything he sees in front of him, leaving hot kisses on your neck, your bust and even your shoulders

when we talk about where he likes to be kissed, I quickly think of his neck, that man must get weak having you leaving tender kisses and little love bites on him while grabbing his muscles.

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

although he insists that he doesn't want kids, the way he is extremely affectionate and good with kids tells a different story. the way kids love him and get along with him is something that makes your uterus itch, and it also makes your imagination run wild imagining that man being the father of your babies; jude exudes daddy material

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

well, mornings with jude are hectic, unfortunately since he has training so he wakes up early and barely has time for anything other than getting changed and eating something. now when he has time off or is on vacation you will definitely spend more time in bed talking and having soft, lazy sex

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

well, the schedule definitely varies a lot depending on his routine. On a non-game day, you'll go out to dinner together, sometimes at a nice restaurant (he once said he loves going out to restaurants) or, if he wants more privacy with you, he'll just ask his chef to prepare something. He loves talking to you and is definitely telling you every detail of his day and wants to hear every detail of yours too. Maybe you'll watch a movie together until a kiss here and there makes you take things to the bedroom. He definitely loves sleeping with you close to him.

on a game day, you'll watch him — if you don't have anything from school/work to do. I think his late-night schedule will depend a lot on the outcome (and his performance) of the game. If you win, he'll want to celebrate with you, but if you lose, he'll definitely be completely irritated and grumpy and you know you need to give him space to think a little.

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

like I said, Jude doesn't seem like the kind of man who is easy to open up to emotionally in a romantic way so I think he only started opening up more and more after he gained a lot of trust; you would probably be the first to do it and he would notice how much you trust him and start doing the same — little by little.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

let's be honest, as loving and kind as he is, Jude clearly has a strong temper and gets angry easily; although, I think he controls himself quite well. from what we see and hear of him, we notice that he has a dominant personality (he tends to lead and control situations) and people like that usually hate to lose control of something and see that things don't go as they planned and when that happens they just explode first before solving what went wrong. in short, I think he's the kind of person who will explode when something goes wrong and get absolutely pissed off — and will definitely want to be alone — and then calm down and immediately act to solve the problem (I feel like he doesn't like to leave anything hanging, always wanting to solve everything)

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

jude is a very observant man and has a good memory from what we can see (the way he remembers fans/people he saw a while ago). for me, he would definitely pay attention to every detail and remember them all, especially since it's about you

r = remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

since he has an extremely busy life, I think his favorite moments with you will be those that are just the two of you and that are extremely comfortable and intimate where you talk sincerely and lightly, with him being able to be himself without any fear

maybe your first time could also be a memory that he will keep very fondly; he feels that it was different from anything he had experienced up until then, since it wasn't not only superficial pleasure

s = security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

it is extremely obvious how protective Jude is of those he loves and cares about; he is definitely sparing no effort when it comes to seeing you protected and safe. I think he is the kind of guy who will always be keeping an eye on your social media to see what people are saying about you and will always be there to show you that the negative things they say about you are lies; I also imagine that he will definitely not like the idea of ​​you walking around alone. besides, he will always want to see you happy and comfortable

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

you see, that is an English man, he definitely likes to show how important you are to him and he is definitely sparing no effort to do so; I don't even need to say that he's clearly not letting you pay for anything, even if you insist, and he's definitely not being frugal when it comes to buying you gifts, but hey, he doesn't just want to show off expensive gifts, he wants you to really like them and have an important meaning for you (and he definitely wants to be reminded every time you look at the gift he gave you)

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

i feel like he's messy (in terms of leaving things lying around the house) and lazy when it comes to helping with the housework; I also imagine him being stubborn and doing things his own way

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

there's not much to say when it's all there in front of our eyes; that man is extremely careful with his appearance. He knows he’s a handsome man and does everything he can to keep his appearance perfect. Furthermore, you can see that he’s extremely hygienic. You look at him and you realize how clean he looks and how nice he smells (many people who meet him talk about how delicious is his scent).

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

jude doesn’t seem like the kind of person who has an emotional dependence on someone; sure, he’s intense when he loves someone (especially his family), but not to the point where he can’t live without them. If you guys broke up or something like that, the emptiness would be there — obviously —, but it’s not like he’d stop living because of it. I also think he’d be proud to the point of hiding as much as possible how much he misses you, not wanting to show weakness.

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

obviously, self-interested people who are only with him because want something in return; superficial people (who don't see him as he really is or who are extremely superficial); people who are rude or who try to humiliate/put others down (that man is very kind and polite and he will definitely want someone identical in that aspect); I also feel that he doesn't like people who do everything to expose their lives (on social media or etc.). Jude is a very reserved man who loves his privacy and that of his family and would definitely hate a partner who insists on posting and showing everything

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

as he himself said in an interview, one of his favorite hobbies is taking naps so he definitely sleeps a lot, especially in the afternoon. I think he must be extremely tired when he gets home from training and doesn't want anything more than a cuddle and a good nap.

if you guys want to ask me for drabbles or one-shots, feel free (it can be fluffly, smut, agnst)

i hope you enjoyed it, babes 💋

[schoenpepper]

Hellooo

Can I request an x reader who tells them the most confusing stories on purpose? Like, "Have you ever walked on your back and suddenly a train washes up on your shore with a cold and lights on its house?" You can look more of this on tiktok lol

Characters: Trey, Jade, Floyd, Azul, Idia, Rook and Jamil pleasee

What the Fuck

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread, rushed kasi nagsasagot ako ng accounting

A/N: I don't have a tikky tok ahahaha I'll just wing it ig. also wdym jade's part is longer no its not

Masterlist

Trey would be confused, but to be honest, there's not too much that can phase him at this point.

He'll look at you with a small, fond smile—ever so compliant to every whimsy.

He won't reply with something just as ridiculous, but he can shove a pastry into your mouth to stop you.

Honestly, it's a good deal.

Jade knows this isn't a normal human thing.

He just doesn't care.

"Oh, is that so? I'm afraid I can't answer your question, seeing as I am but a poor merman ignorant of human ways."

Bulletproof smile.

Whatever you're trying to gain from doing this, he just won't give it to you.

Might reply.

"And if a clownfish suffocated in river water trying to kiss a seagull, how many eggs have been laid in a clutch within a coral reef?"

Floyd has two ways of responding to this. It depends on your luck.

If you're lucky, he'll think you're funny and laugh.

If you're unlucky, you get squeezed because "Ahaha, what nonsense are you muttering about, shrimpy? Should I squeeze it outta ya'?"

Run.

Anyway, if you do this to Floyd, you should have been long prepared to run like your life depends on it. It does.

Azul has a very low tolerance for nonsense.

Even if it is you, he'll likely just smile confusedly and refrain from replying.

If you keep on going, he'll draw up a contract then and there to forbid you from ever talking like that again.

Please stop.

Why are you even doing this?!

Jamil is going crazy. Actually, clinically insane.

Stop. Right now.

Will backhand you to the other side of Scarabia. Again.

He's tired enough, please don't add on to his headaches.

If you catch him when he's sleepy, he'll just look at you in a daze and stop processing your words. Will crash.

Rook smiles.

It is very unsettling.

Will nod along to your words and comment complementary nonsense every once in a while.

"There is beauty in such a labyrinth of words! As if only Ariadne's string itself would be my only salvation."

Freak.

Idia grimaces—there's no way you're hopping on a trend that cringe, right?

...Damn. You actually are.

Er, how close are you with Idia?

Level 1: omfg dude bro get a lyf like rn away from me

Level 2: haha v funny shut up now

Level 3: bb pls stop im going to actually die from cringe

Taglist:

@yummyyummyinmytumny @fsh1 @lemon-koii

[pinkchaosnight]

so here is my adar request. basically in which the fem!reader is taken in ep 5 instead of galadriel. once in adar's tent (during ep 6) they talk and get into a heated discussion about sauron and eregion. their banter gets so intense that glûg walks inside to see if everything is okay and then they both snap at them in union and then glûg whispers something like "oh no, dad and mom are fighting" idk something humorous lol. (excuse my grammar mistakes - English is not my native language). i need tension like air.

omg , tysm for this ask. its absolutely flawless. i enjoyed this ep so much! i have initially thought of doing a small imagine but somehow it turned it into this long, also i diverged from the ask slightly too🥹. i have changed some dialouges and scenarios. i hope you enjoy them!

pull of threads - (adar × fem!reader)

summary: dinner with adar is never straightforward is it? when especially you are captured and essentially sort of a prisoner?

(reimagined rings of power ep 6 where reader gets captured instead of Galadriel)

pairing : adar x female!reader

notes : english is not my first language, so i apologize in advance for the errors you might encounter. i have not properly edited, so please let me know if you find any error.

the uruk leader seated across you is poking his food with a vigour, as he regards you with suspicion. humiliation might be the nicest thing you can describe about what you are feeling right now, (along with some other feelings too but you blatantly ignore them) being captured as a prisoner. you were Lady Galadriel's friend and the her aide, until a few months ago when you retired from your post. everything that was going on was so overwhelming that you had to step away from your duties and that's exactly what you did. you travelled around, mostly staying in woods and forests and praying orcs don't chase you. you almost succeeded too until you recieved a letter from Lady Galadriel stating she needed your help, now that they are going to warn Celebrimbor about Halbrand being Sauron. you were reading her letter without a care for your surrounding that unfortunately resulted in you being captured and brought to the uruk camp. and thats why you were currently in this situation, being seated in front the uruk leader. Adar, he is called, as you recall from the days Lady Galadriel captured him many months ago.

the tent which was made up of dirty rags, was surprisingly warm, with a fireplace and a huge table laden with food. combinations of food that seems almost a disgrace to the plates it hold ; with berries, onions and meat. whoever did the dinner should be tossed into the cliff. the said uruk leader was now biting into a piece of meat from god knows what, as he watches you. if he is hoping to catch something from your expression he has another thing coming for him, as you keep your face as emotionless as you can, although Eru knows for how long.

" from my brief time in your Commander's capture, I guessed she was intent on finding Sauron. almost consumed by the thought of it, one might say." his words sliced the depth of silence that hanged between you and him.

" former Commander. and it is none of your concern what her intentions are. who are you to know her mind? you who could not even resist the allure of Sauron's words?" you reply in a monotonous way, hoping he doesn't find anything there.

Adar stops as he hears those words, as he slowly puts down the piece of food he is chewing. he remembers the first time he saw you; being chained up after being captured by Galadriel. all around him was dark but you came with a jar of water and a loaf of bread for him, when everybody was kind of neglecting him, except for when they needed information and torturing. that simple act of kindess and the conversions that ranged from 'hello' to a simple 'have a good day' that followed from your side warmed what little was left of his beating heart. he remember you being firercely loyal to Galadriel yet having a mind of your own to speak if necessary. he remembers how you disagreed when your commander spoke of his children as slaves. and above all, he remembers how you exuded a sense of warmth in that cold space.

now he looks at you in surprise as he leans forward "former?"

you squirm uncomfortably in your seat. after all, how could you let him know that one of the reasons why you left the army and being her secondin command, was his words? the converstion between him, Lady Galadriel and you, when he was captured really messed up your perceptive. other elves could not see but you saw what he was trying to say; that the uruks were just as worthy of lives and living as other creations of Eru, as each had a heart. you remember disagreeing with Lady Galadriel when she mentioned them as slaves, and Adar's eyes flashing in you direction, with ambiguous emotions.

shaking out of your reverie you say "yes, i am no longer her second in command, so its really useless to have me captured in here. i can offer you nothing. "

adar chuckles at your statement, as he rises from his seat and strides towards you. he stops infront of your chair, as he looks at you with an intense stare. and you couldn't help but stare back at him. those eyes, surrounded by scars and years of mutilation, made your heart ache with pain. you wonder what he was thinking, what he was plotting behind those somber eyes of his. you always wondered what happened to him after you ran away from the campsite that day. you retired and wandered in woods after that incident, with nothing to keep you company but fragments of him in your memory. love and hatred have a fine line separating them; you often heard from your friends and in those lonely nights on the woods you wandered if that is true. if you can cross that line with bravery. something that you are afraid to reveal to anyone. he was the one in your mind and on the other side of that fine line, as swirls of feeling wound up in your heart. a dangerous feeling to have for man who is going to kill you......one day.

"who says you can offer me nothing?" he says as he strides close to your face and tucks a strand of hair back. funny he did that because you had the same thought too, of brushing the loose hair of his and tucking it back. "my children found this in your bag" he says as he pulls out the scroll from a table behind you. "we know the elven army is approaching to find Sauron, in Eregion. And that has all the confirmation i want. and i know Halbrand is Sauron"

desperation washes over you as you see the scroll of paper Lady Galadriel wrote and gave you to read before she parted ways. you never got a chance to read the rest of paper as she and you went seprate ways, before you got caught by his minions.

" whatever your plan is, it is not going to work " you say with venom, as you stand up in anger (or so you thought stubbornly), coming face to face with him.

"do you know what Sauron promised me? " Adar asks you as he studies your expression flits from anger to confusion "children, he promised me children. and he made that promise into weapons of wars, my children mere tools for his gratifications, something which can be eradicated at his whims" he says, his voice a tad quite and flushed with sadness. it took all my willpower to keep my hands from reaching his and comforting him.

" you are going to kill him Eregion, aren't you?" i ask as realisation hits me a few seconds later. he moves back a few paces, widening the tantalizing distance betweeen us and doesn't reply as he keeps his back to me.

" you cannot, i think it is his plan too. i just have feeling in my heart this is exactly what he wants. for you to lead your army to him. we must ask Lady Galadriel's advice" i say as he turns and shoots me a look of disbelief.

"why should i listen to the words of someone whose race is hellbent on eradicating us from the face of this plane?" he shouts as he paces towards you, shaking with anger. "i did not capture you to hear your advice. Eregion will fall and Sauron with it" he says as closes the distance between us, trapping me between the chair and him.

"i want Sauron to fall too, i want to kill him and make sure he is permanently wiped off from this earth. but not in this way." i shriek in his face, which was merely inches apart from mine.

"i do not know why you care if i lead my army or not " he hisses as he moves back from me again, his eyes capturing my own ones in anger and perhaps sadness.

there is a tipping point for everyone's anger and you could feel his words pushing you to yours. you could no longer hold the feelings erupting inside you as you shouts." i care because this will all be ending in blooshed. i care because all my loved ones are going there and i don't want them to die. i care for the lives that will be sacrificed if you chose to follow this foolish plan of yours. and i care that something will happen to you and you will not make it out alive"

reality of the words registers in your brain as soon as the words escape your mouth. you have opened your heart and mouth and let all the dam of emotions you kept inside to turn into a river. and now you are going to suffer the consequences, preferably being submerged in those same waters, which you so kept in binds inside your now erratically beating organ.

Adar was stunned, staring at you in utter silence. his heart tingled, with the same warmth he felt months ago in your presence. his ears has always been the receiver of abuse and bad news, never the object to receive the sentiment with which you uttered the words quite a few seconds ago; words with care...and love. he slowly steps forward you, his hands unclenching from the remnant of his anger and reaching towards your face "you ....care about me.....?" his voice is a mere whisper, tinged with something you couldn't place. this goddess, this beacon of kindness care about him?

you wanted to melt into those eyes of his, that is oh so mysterious and perhaps you would have, if the tents did not flap open suddenly.

" lord father, glûg here. i heard shouts coming from outside. i was worried and just came inside to check if you are okay and if nan--" glûg stops as he sees you standing closely to his lord father. you notice his surprise being replaced with a slight smirk in your direction.

"get out" adar and you both says in unison, as you turn towards the orc in annoyance.

"certainly lord father" glûg says as turns away to exit "just lover's quarrel, lord father and naneth better make up". he exits as quickly as he can, muttering to himself.

you turn your head towards him, only to catch his eyes searching your face "yes i do care about you...." your voice is shaking but not in anger and with some other emotions you tried so hard to bury.

a flicker of emotions passes over his eyes as he glazes his vision over you "you think you are the only one who cares? why did you even think i captured you instead of your Commander, when i could have easily caught her and gotten the information too? why did you think you never encountered any orcs while you were sauntering through the woods? never have you escaped from my mind for a moment from the day we met. i tried so hard to keep every emotions i am feeling, hidden from you. but tonight i can't and i won't. i know i am a monster, an abomination for someone so kind as you. but tonight i am baring the one thing that has not been tainted by the evil , to your hands."

he places your hand on his chest, as you your eyes brim with tears. you feel his heart beating erratically, mirroring yours. "from the day you pulled me from that dark abyss, i decided that this heart will only belong to one person, to the one person this heart wholeheartedly loves."

time stops as you hears his words, it is like honey being poured into your ears. "so does mine too" you reciprocate, as you places his hands on your chest. "you are neither a monster nor an abomination. you are beautiful as Eru's any other creation. i even left the army because of you. because you keep on invading my everyday thoughts. and i kept thinking of how you are my enemy and i how i should hate you. but my heart never responded to any negative emotions, for all it had was love for you."

fianlly you can let this emotion run free, this plaguing need for him that you tried so hard to conceal. you would have stood there for eternity, for all of your immortal life, with his warm hands pressing yours into his chest. no words are exchanged betweeen you two in these seconds; no words are needed as the beating of your heart and the measure of your breath are enough to convey the feelings pouring off from both of you. he slowly closes the already miniscule distance betweeen you, as you step forward at the same time too, the tantalizing distance between your lips almost unbearable. you can feel his breath near your mouth, as your lips part with breathlessness and need. you just need to lean forward and place your mouth. you slowly reach forward, just enough to press the lips against his----

" lord father, i got a sudden report that---what is happening here?" glûg's voice rang across the tent as you and adar both turned to his direction.

" GET OUT GLÛG" you both cries in unison as poor glûg scurries off, being banished from the tent second time. but not before he catches a warm smile passing over his lord father. glûg catches from his peripheral vision, of his lord father pressing a chaste kiss in your cheek before placing his forehead against yours and smiling a genuine smile, which he has never seen.

'things will be good from now on' glûg thinks as he passes over to the next tent, thinking of the elf that thawed the ice of his lord father's heart. the one his lord father told him about months; the one lord father instructed him to call naneth in the future. and the one who made his lord father whole again after eons.

extra notes - all the asks i got, i will update them by this week itself, tysm for requesting! please leave a like and reblog and if you enjoyed reading them. hope everyone have an amazing day :)

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

If you do take requests at this moment, can I request a Hualian x GN reader where reader feels like the third wheel, and when Hualian look further into reader, they find out that reader is hurting themselves/trying to change in the way they look

That Hualian would baby reader, like take sharp objects out of arm’s reach, or spoon feed reader when it’s time to eat. Giving reader kisses and words of affirmation every time they’re around

Lol, I’m feeling very angsty, but if this request is a little too far, you don’t have to do it (I hope you’re doing great! Make sure to drink enough water!) 🥰

Shape Shifting Heart

HuaLian x gn!reader

Ignore grammar mistakes

Slight OOC

Made up looks about reader for plot

Tyyy Pepsi zero has become my hydration 😔🙏

Also I'm so sorry for disappearing but I've had like the worst few months of my life ever so 😃🙏 bear with me

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Being with Xie Lian and San Lang is the best thing that has ever happened to you. There's so much love to go around with three people and everyone is always taking care of each other! So you never listened to people being hateful about it, whether that be other gods or ghosts. You guys are happy and that all that matters right?

What happens when all of you aren't happy, when it's just one person bringing down the mood and the whole relationship? That's how you've been feeling lately. You haven't been much use to Xie Lian and San Lang these days. Often, you've been curled up in bed and staying hidden under the covers. For what reason? They don't know. You won't talk to them, and while Xie Lian and San Lang pride themselves on knowing you inside and out they can't figure out what's wrong.

You can't tell them. It's kind of embarrassing, humiliating even. How do you tell your lovers, "I feel like the third wheel, I feel neglected and left out" to the two kindest people you've ever met. Everything you do seems to make it worse and you're trying your best so you don't understand why it seems to put your relationship more on edge.

You had honestly just wanted to sulk and pout for a few days in bed over something silly. When they stopped visiting the bedroom it became a problem. All you do is lie here so what could possibly have made them want to leave you alone? You aren't even doing anything to warrant them off! Xie Lian and San Lang easily coddle each other all the time so why don't they think to do it with you? They stopped coming to the shared bedroom, even going as far to sleep in another bedroom together, but by themselves without you.

It only made you feel worse, are you so depressed and off putting they don't want to be near you now? Sadness becomes frustration and it fuels you to get out of bed in what has been weeks. You leave the room disheveled and groggy hoping to find one of your lovers to receive some affection, to you it feels like you haven't had in forever.

You find them together in the kitchen, an awfully domestic scene. Xie Lian cooking dinner and San Lang attached by the hip. The way San Lang holds Xie Lian's waist and stays close while Xie Lian bustles around the kitchen. Where you had once been and would usually love to hear the sound of their laughs and love filled giggles all it sounds like is mocking joy of what you once felt. How many nights has it been like this? How many nights have they been content without you?

"Making dinner without me?" You pipe up, leaning against the kitchen counter. Making dinner is a silly thing to be upset about. A part of you feels awful for being so jealous but the other doesn't. It's not like you're jealous of San Lang or jealous of Xie Lian. You don't spite a specific person. You're just jealous of the love they share, of their bond. You're envious of their happiness, you just want to be included too!

"Ah, y/n!", Xie Lian gives a wobbly smile, "Of course not" Xie Lian didn't know how to bring up that they've been trying to give you space. He doesn't know how to say it in a way that would sound reasonable to you. These days you've been a little irritated and you easily take words they say but add a whole new meaning to it. They know it's not your fault, it's one of your episodes maybe.

No one moves. They don't know whether to extend a hand to invite you or not but you seem to take it upon yourself. You walk closer and stick right up to Xie Lian's and San Lang's side. The tension - you can't tell if you're imagining it or not, you've been imagining a lot these days - is thick. "Well I feel a little better so I'll join from now on, what are you making?" You try to make conversation, you try to move closer in hopes that the domestic scene will just continue.

It doesn't. The room is tense and so are your lovers. You hate it. It makes you want to lash out, cry, and scream. Xie Lian and San Lang seem to be walking on eggshells around you and you don't know why. You've never gotten angry with them before, you've never been violent or aggressive with them so why are they acting like you're a ticking bomb?

San Lang attempts to break the tense atmosphere first. Wrapping hesitant hands around your waist and nuzzling into your hair, hair he will not mention is a bit notty. "We missed you" he murmurs into your long, bright locs. "We're glad you feel better" this seems to get the night moving smoothly again. It's pathetic how quickly you melt into San Lang's touch and preen at his words. It finally feels like you're included in the domestic picture they make.

The three of you eat dinner and enjoy it, Xie Lian's cooking has been getting a lot better but that's probably because you and San Lang were in the kitchen to help him. You're filled with a deep satisfaction when Xie Lian gently grabs your hand and all of you go to your shared bedroom together. Xie Lian pulls you into bed and They cuddle up next to you under the covers, placing gentle kisses on your face and shoulders.

You feel suddenly energetic because of the affection you're receiving. Making you giggle and kissing them back with new found passion. You won't lie you guys haven't had sex in a while so. . . You easily climb on San Lang, and straddle his hips. Kissing him eagerly and nipping against his lips. They weren't expecting you to be so eager but who are they to deny you.

Xie Lian gets behind you and slips off your robe, running his hands over your body. Your back, arms, hips, and thighs- your thighs. Xie Lian's hands freeze, and moves his hands as if he's been scalded. The sudden movement catches San Lang's attention and he sits up but he keeps you in his lap. "Gege what's wrong?" San Lang stares at Xie Lian and suddenly all the attention is off you. Somewhere inside you, you feel a little miffed at Xie Lian's reaction.

But you're concerned too so you turn your head to your other lover with concerned eyes, however Xie Lian is the one staring at you with pity. He turns on the light and sits next to San Lang. "His thighs, San Lang. . ." You scrunch your face. Of course that's what Xie Lian reacted so strongly about. While you were rotting in bed you were feeling so down in the dumps. So- so maybe you took it out on yourself and used your sword on your own skin.

It's not that big of a deal, they're already healed and just remain thick scars across your thighs but it matters to your lovers greatly. They've explored your body many times, and they know these are new. "Baobei, what happened?" Xie Lian cups your face with gentle hands but you turn your head the other way. You're irritated the night has stopped over something so trivial. "Nothing important, I was just feeling upset a few weeks ago, it's trivial now. Can't we just- can we not focus on that?"

Your face is scrunched in irritation and you try to roll your hips against San Lang but he removes you from his lap and onto the silk covers. You groan in frustration. The night was going perfectly and now it's all messed up! San Lang's eyes narrow as he gazes over your legs, and you swallow nervously. "This isn't something we can just ignore Y/n. You know that. . . Let's stop here for tonight" If it were San Lang saying it you wouldn't have minded as much but it's Xie Lian.

Xie Lian loves San Lang's body even with the scars on it so why won't he love yours?! "We don't have to stop! Just- ignore it, would you please?! I can get rid of them, I can look like whatever you want me to be! " You never notice when you start heaving for breath, when tears line your eyes and you try to cling to one of your lovers. You don't notice when you subconsciously change your body into something else because it's something you've always had the power to do.

So when your skin becomes smooth again, and unmarked it's something you don't even look over. But for Xie Lian and San Lang it's completely different. It's like looking at a stranger's body. Like looking at somebody who's never worked a day in their life, someone who has never gone to battle, something you are not but you're desperately trying to be. You have no scars, and the callouses on your hands have disappeared. They've memorized everything on you and now you've made yourself look completely different.

To you, it feels like they look at you with disgust and anger. You're breaking down and it's not something you're even registering. "Y/n stop!" San Lang gives up on keeping you on the bed and he lets you crawl into his lap, he cups your face with surprisingly gentle hands that contradict his angry voice. "Breathe Baobei" he rubs comforting circles into your hips and Xie Lian rubs your back. They're trying to get you to breathe and to stop hyperventilating.

San Lang never looks away from you, and he plants tiny kisses in your cheeks to get rid of your tears. When did you start crying? You don't remember. You eventually calm down from listening to your lovers instructions and their loving touches. When you're finally breathing normally again and the tension leaves your body they try talking to you again. Xie Lian rubs his fingers through your hair, he doesn't like how you've easily changed yourself. He misses your bright locs not the dark ones you've decided to take on. He kisses your head. "I want to talk to my Y/n now. Can I?" Xie Lian asks sweetly.

You've always been you but he wants to talk to his lover not the made up version of yourself. You sniffle and San Lang pats your waist. You take the encouragement and change back to your original body. When you make a weird noise in your throat that sounds close to a sob Xie Lian wraps around you and kisses your nape. "That's good Baobei, we're proud of you." San Lang and Xie Lian glance at each other and in that moment decide to drop the topic about your new found scars. They can only try to find the root of the issue now.

San Lang kisses your forehead and then below your eyes and then your lips. "Tell us what's wrong?" San Lang poses it as a question. As in, you don't have to but it would greatly help them if you did. You feel pathetic and selfish. You don't know why you broke down over something so silly and foolish. "I-I felt, I felt like a t-third wheel. You guys seem so happy without me and all I do is mess up, I'm sorry " you start to cry again and you rub at your eyes harshly but San Lang holds your wrists gently and keeps them away from your eyes.

Xie Lian kisses your shoulder. "There's nothing to be sorry for baobei. No one's at fault." He runs his hands over your thighs, making circles with his fingers. "We didn't mean to make you feel left out, we just wanted to give you space. We thought that's what you needed" Xie Lian explains softly. You nod and sniffle. That's more reasonable than whatever your mind came up with. San Lang pulls you closer by the waist. "If we make you feel like that tell us Baobei, we'll fix it immediately" he says with narrowed eyes. You know he isn't upset with you and he's probably beating himself up for not being able to tell. You kiss him deeply and sigh against his lips.

"M'sorry, I know you love me I just- my mind tells me awful things." You whisper in San Lang's lips and kiss him again. San Lang grunts and playfully tugs a piece of your hair. "Should I beat it up for you?" It makes you giggle.

🦊🪷

For the next few days and even few weeks they baby you endlessly. Xie Lian keeps an eye on sharp objects and makes sure you can't get into the weapons room. He also confiscated your sword and he won't even let you hold knives in the kitchen. The only sword you're allowed to be around is E'ming and they know you wouldn't do that to him or San Lang.

They have no problem with dragging you everywhere they go and often San Lang likes to feed you during meals. At first you blushed and insisted you could do it yourself but San Lang waved your concerns away and said "Let me take care of you". They coddle you a lot and one of them is always in the room with you. You know now that you need to work on your communication and not let your mind get to you. It was a big misunderstanding but San Lang and Xie Lian treat it as if it was a genuine problem.

You're suffocated with love but you wouldn't change it for the world.

[alavestineneas]

i can feel the soil falling over my head; no people are here, just the void in my chest

pairing: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!reader summary: Harkonnen men rarely wed; they just take what they capture—men and women—and turn them into slaves. Some, if particularly sweet, are reserved for fucking. There are no special songs for that; there isn't a specific word in their native tongue for wife, either. warnings: mentions of death, violence, implied/referenced child abuse, religious symbolism, daddy and sister issues, bald men chapter 1 - chapter 2 word count: 6,5K

author's note: hi beautiful people! this chapter may be classified as a prologue (yes, I am aware of its size, sorry, lol), but it is still integral to the story. we love evil people, especially evil bald people, in this house, so have fun and don't forget to wash your hands before reading! also, if you see things that are not canon, just know that me and the books are two parallel lines and we do not cross. feel free to point out grammar mistakes, though - english is not my first. love you!

Kaitain, 10176 AG

The violent streaks of light fight with the heavy cloth of drapes to find their way into the small, stifling chambers. The time was slowly crawling towards noon in the heavy summer heat, and the woman lying on the heavily decorated sheets was battling to get a breath in. Whether because of the annoying star, or the poisoning waiting, the patterns of sweat stained her tired face with esculent ornaments. Her lips, formed into a thin line, gleamed with small spots of dried crimson.

''Where is the messenger?'' The woman's voice was barely above a whisper, her eyes glued to the dancing light filtering through the window. ''The girl is strong; I can't hold her for much longer.''

The black figure on the chair in the corner slightly shifted at words. She was veiled, despite the heat—like a black hole, she seemed to suck the little air left. ''Forbearance,'' her raspy voice cuts through the room. ''The child makes you impatient. Control yourself.''

''I've waited, and waited long enough,'' the woman snapped, her frustration evident in her trembling hands. ''A few more minutes and all that is left of her will be a corpse.''

''Be quiet, Echidna. The child will live. If not, she was never meant to be part of our world in the first place.''

The woman clenched her jaw in a wave of pain and nodded. The girl ought to see the light of this planet today. Deep in her thoughts, she almost missed the rushed steps behind the door.

One of the Emperor's guards burst into the room, his eyes almost frantic. ''Lady Anirul has graced the Imperium with a daughter.''

Echidna smiled in relief, but her expression quickly changed as a beast-like cry pierced the air. The child was coming, with little care for the damage it caused to her aching womb. She tore the tissue down to the individual cells, gnawing her way with fists and elbows, moving the bones aside with brute force. Soon, her own cries were answered by much louder ones, as the head of the girl showed itself, covered in a thick layer of almost black blood. Just for a moment, the woman wished it would not steal another breath from the room, but she sharply composed herself. With a final push, the child left her body forever, leaving it a raw wound.

The small creature shrieked when the black figure approached, and slender, wrinkled arms took it from the warmth of rufous-red liquid. Echidna watched as the figure carried the girl away, resting her hurting body against the soaked pillows. She fulfilled her duty; she granted Bene   Gesserit the daughter they wanted. She is bleeding under a beautiful sun; she is holding the ghost of her child in her arms—the real one was never hers anyway. Echidna knows the Emperor will not come. From now on, it is just her and her never-passing pain. Thus, Kaitain, home to the Corrino dynasty, was warmed by the light of a new sun—Princess Irulan, an heiress to the Imperium—and chilled by the shadow of her sister, born a few minutes later.

-

The calmness of the gardens was disturbed only by the soft strokes of brushes against a thick canvas. YN sighed, her eyes still fixed on the tree nearby, its young branches swaying with the wind. Her body ached from stillness, the tension in her neck from holding her head slightly bowed spreading down to her small back. They posed for a portrait of what seemed like an eternity to a child, and was almost it to an adult who dared to inquire; the painter, while satisfied with the draft, looked at the group of young girls almost in fear—no normal child of that age would be unmoving for three hours. And yet, they were.

YN felt one of her sisters shift even through the thick fabric of her silver dress. Small Chalice turned, her cheeks red from the heat or tiredness, her lips forming a pout—the child was tired, sleepingly rubbing her eyes. YN thought for a moment, debating if the punishment would be worth it, or if her sisters could wait just a little bit more until the man with colours would end the session for today. She noticed how Irulan's face was starting to droop, her eyes fluttering closed and opening just a second later. Their youngest, Wensicia, was already asleep in Irulan's arms; her golden hair spread across her and YN's laps as a beautiful cover, shining under the faint sun.

''I am tired, Master Chen. We should end the painting for today,'' YN finally spoke; her voice was almost a whisper. She did not know whether it was not to awaken her sister or out of fear of the Emperor's anger; it did not matter. The man nodded and left, taking his canvases with him, leaving only a few drafts behind. Then, the sisters were left alone in the garden.

''Thank you,'' Irulan said softly, placing her head on YN's shoulder.

YN only nodded. Her eyes found the paper not so far away, her gaze studying the strokes of the pencil with interest. Wensicia, a beautiful girl of two, was smiling brightly, holding an olive branch in her chubby hands, her small feet peeking under the hem of her white dress. Small Chalice was at the opposite end of her, her curly hair surrounding her head like a halo as she leaned forward, holding a small dove inside her palms. Then, sitting at the bench, surrounded by lush greenery and bushes, they. Irulan and the Other.

YN was placed just a step away from her older sister, her head turned away from the gaze of the viewer. The delicate folds of her silver dress carefully cascaded down, creating an air of mist around them. Her hands were empty; she did not know if the artist hadn't decided with each object to grace her with, or left them hollow intently. She looked like a shadow—a ghost, maybe; her eyes were escaping the viewer as if hiding a secret.

Irulan was different. She was a sun-kissed creature, her head facing straight ahead. Her eyes, as if inviting for a challenge, were made from duty, steel. With a burning star on her regal forehead, crowning the streaks of golden hair, Irulan was water and air, dulcet and ever-bending; her figure held the place and her pose was distinct and commanding.

YN looked at the girl beside her, who was now quiet nearby. Irualn was wise, the wisest of the sisters; her eyes were all-seeing, her heart all-knowing. She was created in the shape of a mother since they could walk, and the small ones bathed in her light, drinking her till the last drop —like flowers following the warm embrace of the sun. The only one who could not enjoy the love was her, the Other. The other sister, the other half. For they have been too close in age, too similar to let each other pretend the burden was not a heavy one to bear.

When Irulan was natural in her all-caring shape, YN had to claw her way to the only role left—the father. An unbent tree, a silent soldier—she was not born to fit as one, but wishing for a different order of things was almost blasphemy. That's how it always was with them—out of two, one was the protector, the other - the protected. "Husband," Irulan humorously called her often. She smiled, and, for a moment, the wave of resentment in YN's soul calmed. She never called her wife in return: Irulan was too whole to be one, too proud to be moulded into. She stood alone, on a higher pedestal than all of them, closest to the Emperor, whom the Other was to call father, and closest to the Truth. No, Irulan was God.

God does not know how to love someone who is not his servant, because there is no one who would refuse to serve him; it is the only way. God guides, despite all one's protests. God gives, and God takes. God demands; Irulan demands—silent obedience without a need to explain or answer. That, she takes from their father. So, the Other takes a blade into her hand without compassion for her dead wishes and learns to wield it in God's name. She is the one little ones turn to when the world is too wicked for their fragile souls when the creatures under their beds lose all of their human form and turn violent. She takes their sins and bears the punishments, for they are not deserving of such cruelty. YN thinks not of her own guilt—what difference would one scourage make to one who counts in centuries? And when the sun shone, and God smiled, the Other almost forgot of the bruises she carried.

-

The first time he saw her, it was not supposed to happen at all. Feyd-Rautha just closed the door to Maester's chambers with such force that it shook against lean walls; the grumble echoed in the long corridors of Giedi Prime's fortness. The ache in his body was muted, but still present; the torn flesh inside his heart howled and clawed, slicing the ribcage in half. He would've screamed, or perhaps beat his hands bloody against the concrete until the dull pain turned into something as sharp as his knife's blade. Maybe he would've drowned himself in a small water bowl by his nightstand and done anything to escape the shame and humiliation that consumed him from within. But instead, Feyd-Rautha stood still, his jaw clenched tight and his breathing shallow. One day, it will pass. One day, he will see the world choke on its own spit.

That's when he noticed a small, shadow-like figure at the end of the hallway staring at him. A girl, not older than him, was in a dress so foreign to him that it hurt his eyes. The daughter of the Emperor, he guessed. One of many—only then would the golden stitching on her sleeve would make sense.

''What are you doing here?'' he barked, caring little for the common courtesy. Of course, she was a guest almost as prized as her father, but she was in his territory and dared to look at him for long enough without averting her eyes. Long enough to notice the bruising on his pale skin and a swelness surrounding his lips. Long enough to hear him cry.

''I was walking with my mother, but then I turned into the wrong hall,'' she shrugged. ''Will you be kind enough to show me the way out? Or should I find it myself?"

Feyd-Rautha ignored her question. What a weird creature she was—with cascades of hair and eyes that seemed to see too much. ''It is dangerous to walk these halls without guard, Princess.'' It is dangerous to be here, alone with him and the weapon strapped to his hip, but he did not add it.

''There is no use of guards if the one who wishes to kill you is their master.'' The girl took a step forward, pointing to the weapon at his side. "I am not afraid."

Feyd-Rautha laughed. It came out more as howling than human sounds, the abrupt nature of it ringing with high notes, tip-toeing down to hysterical; it sounded creaky, like his throat was not made for such sounds; yet here he was, laughing. ''Come,'' he gestured to her, his hand moving quickly, like ordering a slave around. ''I will show you why you should be.''

So, they walked. Inside the grandiose chambers and small rooms, filled with ancient artefacts or the newest technology Harkonnens came up with; inside the green lavish garden inside the dim castle and the training grounds, Feyd-Rautha showed every place that was built to display the greatness of his house and bestone fear inside both guests and people inhibiting it. He wanted to see the horror in the girl's eyes, to make her eyes water and her frame flee. Instead, he listened to her steady breathing just a step behind him, her curious questioning satisfying another need he did not know his heart possessed: reverence.

He was the youngest member of the ruling line, the smallest stone in the castle of power his uncle had built. His title meant nothing within these walls; he was too small in comparison to the Baron and his authority. Feyd-Rautha was feared, despite only being nine; he was the shadow in the corner that grew longer as the sun set, the whispered name that sent shivers down spines. But here, in the hallway he led the girl into, he turned out to be something else.

''Stunning,'' the girl whispered beside him.

Weapons. The walls, from the floor to the high ceilings, were covered in ritual and fighting blades. The pride of house Harkonnen, the tree of their dynasty, black, silver, golden, and steel knives, swords, and daggers gleamed in the dim light. Feyd-Rautha smiled, revealing a row of sharp teeth. "Welcome to our burial ground."

They stopped near every one, his voice briefly covering the story of each blade and his owner; barons that came before him; fighters and rules that defined their legacy. Some still have blood on them—the highest honour; some look almost virgin. The small signs underneath them tell the names of people who wielded these weapons, their stories forever immortalised in the cold metal. ''Each Harkonnen ruler is crafted a blade of his own, the one he is to honour in battle.''

The girl nodded, her fingers tracing the shape of the last blade carefully. Her palms danced around the sharp edge, taking in the ancient symbols she had no chance of knowing. ''Will you have to kill Baron Vladimir in order to have one, like he did with his father before?''

Feyd-Rautha paused. Of course, he has thought about it before. The idea he repeated like a mantra in his head for all of his short life, the belief that spread burning flames down his spine. The words left his mouth for the first time but felt almost natural against his cracked lips. ''I dream of the day I have the chance to.''

The pair of foreign eyes that stared back at him held a glint of intrigue that quickly changed with a flash of acknowledgement. Feyd-Rautha held the gaze; not a single thing about it was hard. Still, he was the first to turn away; the burning sensation of being  seen  made him want to tear his flesh apart. ''Let me escort you to your rooms, Princess. The walls grow colder as the evening approaches.''

-

The weather on the planet leaves too few guards out of their breath, Irulan notes. The striking sun burns through the rounded windows of man-built walls, the frankly depressing landscape of huge boxes constructed with little intent for anything else but utilitarianism. She must not fear, while those lands will also be under her power with time, but the dreadful atmosphere of the lonely planet makes her skin break out in hives.

She believes the people here are more terrifying. White, hairless creatures with eyes as dark as the sun above them speak with just nods and courseys, paying little to no attention to the world around them, save for the concrete floors.  ''Tell them to set themselves on fire, and they will,''  Irulan recalls Baron Vladimir telling her father over the banquet. She believed it to be a simple boast at first, but now, after a few days in the strange world, the words make greater sense.

Perhaps, the harsh weather made people here hardened. Perhaps, such cruelty is necessary for survival. What terrorised her more was her sister—the one who now silently reads nearby, her long dress carelessly spread on the floor. Irulan would never allow her dress to wrinkle before the concluding dinner, but she is not Irulan. Despite them being demisisters, they shared fewer similarities than one could guess. Two lambs, as many in court would call them—the white and black ones. They knew one another better than anything else; where one went, the other followed. Where Irulan failed, her sister succeeded. What was allowed for her sister, was fobility towards Irulan. No one was embedded in their small circle; no one could get close enough to understand the bond they shared—together, they were whole.

Yet as they grew older, the bond seemed to thin. The path to the mind of her sister was more often closed to her now, her thoughts veiled by the silence rooted deep into her veins. Irulan knows they are just growing up, trying to find their path in the unknown. But she is scared; what would be of her without her sister? What use would the river have without fish to fill it?

''I shall go,'' her sister says, closing the book. ''The dinner starts soon, and I wanted to return the book before it.''

''Is it the one Na-Baron recommended?'' Irulan voices. Truth be told, she would never touch anything that Baron or his family possessed, even more recommended, but her sister seemed to enjoy the ancient text.

''It is. Rather interesting are the traditions of these people. Did you know their slaves have no tongues?''

Irulan feels sick to her stomach; the thought of having slaves brings the small bits of her recent meal to her very present tongue. ''Can I come with you?'' she asks, instead of answering. Irulan does not want to leave the faint safety of her rooms, but even more, she does not want to be left alone. She feels vulnerable—she is not of power here, despite being the embodiment of it in all of the other corners of the Imperium.

''You know I walk without guards.''

Irulan knows. While she is not able as much as bathe without the presence of someone with fighting knowledge, the rules do not seem to apply to her younger sister; she can move freely, as she wishes. Was it because she carried a thin blade with her and knew how to use it, or because of the lack of care from their father? Irulan was not sure. What she was sure of, was that no woman of twelve should leave her sister alone in the halls of Harkonnens' fort.

''It is just to the reading room and back, is it not?''

''Yes,'' her sister nods.  ''I'll take you,''  it means.

So, they walk. Fortunately, the guards usually waiting outside are nowhere to be found, and they manage to slip away unnoticed. Irulan holds the hand of her sister tightly, with each noise from the outside digging her nails deeper into her soft palm. Her sister says nothing; she steps calmly into the labyrinth of corridors, navigating them without much evident trouble. Soon, they find themselves in front of a huge black door, incarnated with words Irulan hold no knowledge of.

Inside, the chamber is massive; it forms a beautiful, round circle with ceilings so high that the air in it is always chilly. Rows of books and manuscripts fill the shelves out of oxidant, contrasting starkly with the white wall. The black circle table of cold stone is filled with replicas and ancient artefacts, each emitting a soft glow.

Who knew the small, desert planet held such treasures inside? Irulan forgets about her sister entirely—the texts call to her, golden lettering shining under the light. Irulan follows the names on the covers: legends, myths, histories, and art overviews. Some even contained gardening and soil research; Baron likely held those for a good laugh.

Irulan travels deeper and deeper until the voice of her sister addressing the only library keeper almost disappears, consumed by tall bookcases. The section she finds herself in is solely dedicated to martial arts; where, if not here, would the hundreds of books on such a topic be stored? Some of them are used; the spines are slightly older; others look brand new.

Irulan is brought to her senses only when she notices a black figure moving in the corner of her vision. She puts the book back and Listens. Just like the Sisters taught her, her inner ear picks up the faint voice of her sister, and the moving of two sandaled feet—the slave handling the books. She feels something else, too. A presence familiar enough to recognise but not enough to name.

''We have to go,'' she says, grabbing her sister by the shoulder and pressing. ''We will be late,'' she explains to the slave. Not that it would question the whims of the princess.

''Why?'' her sister turns to her, confused. ''I was looking at some other books. Weren't you also?''

''Please,'' Irulan whispers. ''We spent enough time here as it is.''

Just as her sister was about to answer, the atmosphere shifted. The air, sitting in its calmness, heavied. The silent before slave turned on its feet, its eyes burning holes in Irulan's body. It lurches towards them, opening its obsidian mouth to show the blackened void inside—indeed, it possesses no tongue.

Irulan freezes. The void seems to suck her in, the sharp mouth growing wider as its owner approaches her body. The fear paralyses her, planting her otherwise quick feet deep into the ground. Now, her training as Bene Gesserit should awaken—she should oppose, or at the very least dodge, the attack. But the black mouth continues to draw her in, clouding her thoughts with terror.

The body beside her shifts; her sister is quick. With one strong thrust, she pushes Irulan aside. '' Hide ,'' the voice within her head commands, and Irulan has no force to object to the technique. She crawls under the heavy stone, frantically looking for something—anything—to protect herself with.

Despite the long skirts, her sister moves like Adam's wine; she bends and turns, and strikes the man far taller than her, but he seems determined on the idea of killing her. Her sister grunts under the heavy hits; one sits in her abdomen, and another lands on her knees. The slave's nails leave a trace on her skin, rough enough to pierce the young dermis.

Eventually, her sister grows tired; the slave pushes her to the ground, pressing his slender body on top and closing its white, almost translucent hands on her throat. Irulan clasps the found sharp cutting instrument to her chest, desperately trying to calm the wave of fear forming there.  ''I must not fear. Fear is a mind killer,''  she whispers again and again.

She watches as her sister's hand slips under her clothes and emerges an illicit, slender blade—it shines under the light just as lettering did on the books a minute ago. To Irulan, it feels like a year's hundred. ''No!'' she wants to shout as her sister raises the steel and preys it into the eye of the slave, but the words are unable to leave her throat. Like a waterfall, crimson covers her sister's face, staining her light grey dress in hot circles.

The slave falls on his back, his hands leaving their place on her sister's neck.

''Enough, please! Sister, stop!'' Irulan cries, crawling out of her hiding spot but daring not to get closer.

Her sister doesn't hear; she lurches towards the man in a slick puddle and takes his life quickly, cutting his throat in one swift motion. The blood from his arteria leaves the body in pulsations; they spatter everywhere, some drops going as far as touching the shelves.

The silence settles in the chamber once again; only the sound of weakly flowing blood disturbs the stillness. Her sister does not shed a tear; she meticulously cleans the blade with the slave's white cloth and slips it back into the folds of her gown.

''What have you done?'' Irulan whispers. Her hands tremble; the sight before her crawls into the deepest corners of her mind and tears everything there down. How can one kill so easily? How can one be so cold and calculating, as if it were nothing more than a daily chore? How could that one be her sister, the one she shared a life with?

''I protected.'' Her sister's voice is hoarse, but firm. There is no remorse in her tone, only weariness. ''What have you  done?'' She turns to face her. Her hair, carefully braided by servants for dinner, is undone; the wet strands of it grip her face like a vice, framing the unseeing eyes.

Like that, she looks like a woman mad. Irulan backs into the safety of the doors, feeling her fear turn into something much greater. ''Do not come near me,'' she commands. Just as the heavy doors close behind her, she sets off running.

-

YN waits until the footsteps of her sister are no longer heard, and only then does she come out of the reading room. She pays the body on the ground little attention; no one would bet an eye on the death of a useless creature like that. It did not intend to kill; rather, someone made it do it. Who, in their right mind, would try to harm the heir of the Emperor? How would they know that Irulan would follow her there?

Irulan. The one who watched as the Other almost gave her life for hers, the one who had the nerve to be repulsed by the blood on her hands—the blood she spilt protecting her. What do you do when you are not allowed to be angry at God? Why does God shame one for the will she herself inflicted on one to bestone? YN would ask the sun, but it hid behind the walls of the fort. She would ask, but no one would answer.

So, she does what she is meant to do—finds her way into the large dining hall, where everyone, of course, is starting to gather. The Emperor would be dissatisfied to find her not there on time; she has no time to fix her appearance. In light of the slight possibility of shaming their House with her muddled hairstyle or suffering yet another punishment for being even late, she chooses the first option.

The guards let her in without saying a word. YNr watches as the shield slides open, revealing a full hall. Rows and rows of tables, filled with foods one would imagine never would have made their way to the Giedi Prime, and laughter not so usual for a harsh realm.

''Princess...'' the servant starts, announcing her arrival, but she shushes him with a slight wave of her palm. She does not notice the crimson liquid staining it.

The Other makes her way to her seat calmly, careless of the way people around her stumble and twist their faces in shock. The only eyes that watch her without fear at the Emperor's table are those of Lady Echidna. Her face betrays no emotion at all—hidden by her veiled black cloth, it only slightly moves when the YN passes her seat.

She holds the angry gaze of the Emperor calmly. He will demand an answer, of course if Irulan has not whispered the truth into his aged ears already. Her sister probably would do no such thing; in that, she would admit to disobeying the orders bestowed upon her. YN is puzzled at the attention directed towards her humble figure—the first thing a Bene Gessarite in training learns is not to be repulsed by the anatomy of her body. Why be grossed out by the liquid coursing through her veins—the liquid she carries all her life? Why be scared of death, when it is always at your doorstep? In the sway of her thoughts, the Other also seems not to perceive the pair of icy blue eyes glued to her figure as she finds her seat and takes her place.

-

"The boy follows you around like a dog." The mother's tone stands not in judgment but rather simply states the truth.

Lady Echidna is not veiled now; her heavy hair is still tightly braided out of her face. Just a small black ribbon highlights her status as one of the Emperor's senior concubines, a position most would bear with honour. To her, it was yet another stain on her earthly body—the body she could not call her to possess. The black sun of Giedi Prime is finally long behind them; nothing but a few light orbs floating around illuminate the chamber, yet her intense gaze seems to pierce right through the girl that sits across her.

"I know, mother. His steps are heavy; his thoughts are even heavier; they follow me much more often."

The woman's fingers stop working on an intricate needlework for a moment, before continuing as it was. "You are to call me Sister, girl," she speaks, her voice low.

YN drags her teeth across her tongue, feeling the anger flow through the veins in her body. She wishes to be far away from this small chamber, to run and never face the woman's eyes again. "The girl has a name, Sister. Or do you fear to voice it?"

Lady Echidna places the cloth on the table beside her gracefully, as if paying no attention to the words spoken. But YN can sense can feel the resentment that burns inside her mother's stomach, spreading its molecules to her throat. "A name holds meaning; for a person to have a name, one must first be of character and substance. You are none."

YN bit the soft flesh inside her mouth; it tasted bitter. It was better if her mother shouted, if she hit her if she did anything to prove YN is still here in her eyes, that she was not just a void the woman spoke her riddles into. Maybe then the pain inside her would have a meaning, would have a reason better than just childish hurt. "Did I not have a beating heart when I left your womb, Sister? Did you not hear it loud and clear? What kind of proof is needed more of me?"

"My daughter died that day, screaming. You took her place. So do not bother me with your foolish talks anymore, for we both know they just waste the air we breathe. Am I heard?"

She was. The tears dried on YN's face before having the chance to spill, and she turned to her studies. Once more, a feeling of ever-lasting cold surrounded her shoulders. The never-leaving vision in her mind appeared once again—her mother's quick steps as she walked away in another corridor of Giedi Prime's fort, her head straight ahead as YN pleaded not to leave her alone, her legs glued to the command spoken. It was a blessing that the boy found her earlier than his uncle.

-

Time has passed since the first time YN's eyes saw the black sun of the foreign planet so far from hers. The Other trained, restlessly, in the tongues of ancient warriors and the most prominent whisperers, slowly earning the right to bear Knowledge in her crown-empty head. She had much yet to learn, but the prospect did not frighten her; with every passing day, she felt power building in her hands and soul. Patience, the greatest virtue of all. She was alone now, without her half of a sister; alone, in her solitude, the heavy bearings seemed not as heavy—she had no one to enlighten about her battles. Still, God was on her mind; YN felt her presence near, her watchful eyes guiding her. Like the tight, dampened cloth on her bruised knuckles, her sister was stuck to her open wound of a soul.

Irulan has grown. Her complexion changed; she no longer looked like a bright-faced girl who left her sister alone in Harkonnen's library; the plump cheeks were gone, and so was fear. At the Other stared a sole statue of power she bloomed into. Silver collars, light blue waves of fabric—the cut is, as always, straight. The Other eyed her up and down, taking in each detail of the painting-like sight. Irulan did the same—a slight disgust at the Other's simple tunic and pants, creased from the sparring. Irulan did not need to be broken in order to be a Sister in the Bene Gesserit; they wanted her Corrino first, and a servant second. The Other, however, held no such value—a child carried not by the lawful wife, a second, a spare. So, there would be no bone in her body left untouched by the lessons, no string in her soul unharmed by the knowledge. They crushed her cartilage in grey sand and forced her to swallow the bitter truths of their ways. Yet, God remains undisturbed—stoic. Eternal.

''Will you not eat again?'' Irulan musses, putting another piece of dish in her mouth.

The Other would take it as a cruel joke from anyone else, but not from God. She shakes her head instead. ''I am forbidden.''

Irulan hums. It was not the first time YN would be disciplined this way; the cycle of punishment and forgiveness was all too familiar to her. The room is silent; there is no one but the two of them. She could offer to eat, and no one would know she did, but Irulan won't offer. The Other does not expect her to; pity is not something a sister can possess.

''How are your lessons going? A fresh knowledge, perhaps?''

YN nods. If she opens her mouth now, her voice will betray her. She could cry all she wanted in the presence of a sister, but it is not appropriate for a thirteen-year-old to behave this way in front of God. The Other is reminded of that with an absence of bruises on Irulan's skin; her hands were never cut by the sharp blades, and her mouth was never starved. ''Why was I summoned from training?'' She asked, directing her eyes to the figure in front of her.

''I am here as a messenger from the Emperor.''

YN's eyes narrowed. ''And what does our dear Emperor desire to tell me now?'' She wishes not to hear anything he has to say; the Other is perfectly content here, amongst her Sisters. Here, she is of cost.

''Recently, Baron Vladimir turned to our House for guidance. He and na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen felt misled by the House Artreidis, and their promise of a bride that did not come. Our father has graciously offered to negotiate the conflict and pay the needed price for the Baron's cooperation.''

''Of course, he did. With all of our might, we are still afraid of the savages that made Arrakis their home. With what advice, may I ask, did the Emperor provide the Baron?''

Irulan's lips turn into a straight line, with the small wrinkle on her forehead appearing. Something that she carried with her through childhood. Something that still reminded of home. ''With the proposal of a woman of our House to na-Baron Feyd-Rautha.''

''A gift? Irulan, I am so sorry.''

Sure, the bridge between them was long forgotten, growing with tall grass and wildflowers, but the weight of their shared history still lingered in the air. Irulan was still her sister, no matter how many times the Other tried to tell herself otherwise. And no woman sane would consider giving her sister to the inhumane brutes that were Harkonnens—the people even Bene Gessarit wished to observe from afar; the people so ruthless mothers told stories about them to their small offspring in an attempt to instil fear and obedience.

Irulan does not answer. She hides her gaze, her eyes following the wooden panels of the quarters.

''What is it, sister?  Speak .''

''The offer Emperor found the most fitting would be of your hand, not mine.''

The Other exhales. As if a heavy stone were put on her chest, she fights to bring much-needed oxygen to her bloodstream. She almost feels the erythrocytes scatter from her face into her neck, hidden by the cloth, and gather there in an attempt to regrow their might. Her throat twists and closes, its muscles compressing until not even an ounce of air can get in. All of her organs, from heart to stomach, made their presence known; one by one, they tensed and burned, forcing the otherwise relaxed hands to grip them.

It was supposed to be Irulan. The first one to marry is the oldest sister; the title high enough to satisfy the ambitious Harkonnes would be hers, no less. Yet, here she stands, not even looking at the one taking her place as she sentences her to an ultimate death. No matter how much power the Corrino name held, on Giedi Prime, she would consider herself fortunate enough if she were to meet her end quickly.

''Why, Irulan? Have I not been a loyal servant to you all those years? Have I not followed every order without question? ''

Irulan is unmoved in her position. ''We can not risk the Harkonnen blood getting on the throne, you know it.''

''You mean we can not risk you? We are not eight anymore, dear Irulan; you can speak truthfully now. Do you really think the Emperor will treasure you more if you say nothing now? We are no sons, Irulan; we are sisters, you and I. Please, spare me this fate.''

''Yes,'' the girl lifts her eyes, taking a step closer. ''We are no sons; you knew that one day we would marry for the peace of the Imperium. Why do you shout now?''

''Married, yes, but not murdered for the sake of the fucking old man who could not hold his promise. They are monsters, Irulan, spilling innocent blood for the fun of it. I beg of you, sister, show me the mercy I know you are capable of.''

''You are worried about blood? What could one more splash of blood mean to you? You have been no sister for a long time; I order you, as an heir of the Emperor and as the messenger of his will here, to comply. Do not make it harder than it has to be.''

The Other smiled—she would not grant the pleasure of tears. ''Very well, then. Someone needs to go first. I'll go; I'll be first, at least here. Tell the Emperor that I will comply with any of his wishes, whether it be to throw me to the sharks or to feed me to the sandworms. As a confirmation of my undying loyalty, you may show him this:''

She slaps her. She slaps her not like a warrior, not like the trained assassin she was raised to be; she slaps her like a sister, bitterly, harshly. For the first time in her short life, YN raises a hand on something she deems holy—the God's shocked face brings a sense of satisfaction to the Other's veins, even if the same blood courses through them. She turns on her heels and walks away, leaving the forsaken room behind. Leaving God behind.

[waffledforbreakfast]

I'm Busy! - [MUTI! BLLK X F!READER]

If you tell them you’re busy

Staring: Rin, Shidou, Sae, Niko, Kaiser, Ness, Otoya, Karasu, Reo

[ BLLK Scenario Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

>Rin 

He left you on read- (almost threw his phone across the room)

At first he tried to convince himself he didn’t care, but he was moody the whole day

[image02]

Rin doesn’t usually offer to help you, if anything you’d have to beg him

And with Rin’s help, surly you’ll be able to finish the project quicker, so you excepted 

“Damn- say less” you typed quickly, looking forward to the game tomorrow

Rin was just happy you’ll watch him, he’d never admit that though 🤭

>Shidou

Not even 2 seconds after you sent the second text he was out the door.

I’m not sure if what he did was legal, but he did it for you, so we’ll let it slide ;)

>Sae

Sae wasn’t planning on going out with you, but how dare you miss his game? 

He was pretty close to either calling shidou to beat your friend up, or straight up making the team reschedule 

He gave your friend $50 so that you wouldn’t feel bad LOL

>Niko

He (almost) cried

Told himself to do his best nonetheless

Luckily, you were able to make it to the second half

He was so so happy, smiled the rest of the game

Everyone was wondering why his performance skyrocketed 

Thanked you so much after, you felt bad that you missed the first half

>Kaiser

If you did cancel on your friend, he’d be so proud

Literally so smug for the rest of day, taking you out after the game

“See? I told you you should cancel on them, aren’t you having more fun with me?”

If you didn’t/weren’t able to go to his game, he’d sulk for a bit, then just be pissed during the game

He beat the crap outta the opponents, everyone (including his teammates and Ness) were scared

Was kinda mad at you for skipping, demanded that you go to every one of next games

>Ness

Ness was so sad :c 

He pulled a Reo and picked at his toothbrush 

“[Y/N] will come to my game…. [Y/N] hates me… [Y/N] loves me…. But not more than her friend…”

“Ness- what are you doing??” - Kaiser

You mentioned the game to your friend, so you guys cut it short and both went to watch him play

The switch up in Ness’ mood- even Kaiser was stressed…

He ran up and gave you a hug right after the game, “You came :D”

Treated you out to food after, paid for EVERYTHING

>Otoya

A/N: in this particular scenario, I see you guys as close friends that might be dating (your choice)

He pouted the rest of the day and barely wanted to play

Felt so betrayed LOL

>Karasu

In return for Otoya “persuading” the teacher, he had to tell him that he liked you…

Karasu kept getting teased for it, but hey, you went to his game, so it was a fair trade in his mind

(Don’t ask how Otoya got with a teacher, you don’t wanna know…

>Reo

You don’t even need a job when you have Reo

He doesn’t mind spoiling you either, he LOVES it

A/N: The more I look at my past(and present) work the more i cringe.

And that's why I don't proof read :3

[boynarcing]

I hate to be your dog

leon s. kennedy x puppy boy!reader

word count. 2.2k

cws. reader doesn't speak at all, neglect, implied alcoholism, mentions of heat cycles and sex, reader has a penis, fluff

note. I don't like writing hybrids as just a human with animal ears and a tail... make sure you take note of that before you read LOL… again lots of improper grammar my english sucks || title is Dog by Helena Deland

Leon takes care of his puppy. No, really, he does. You don’t need much to keep a dog happy; just a few scratches behind the ears and you’re set. You just gotta keep them fed and clean up after them, is all. That’s it. Nothing more. That’s all he does for you. No soapy baths or a trim. Not even a snip of those gnarly nails you’ve got growing. They’re so big your paws go crooked when you walk. 

You’re lucky if he remembers to feed you or change your murky water full of loose fur and cloudy patches of accumulated dust and grime. Nasty stuff. You’ll still drink it, though. A dog’s a dog; they’ll take what they can get—  rain or shine. 

Don’t get him wrong, he’s not trying to be neglectful. He cares, believe it or not. He’s just got a lot on his plate. Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head over. You wouldn’t understand. Not with those beady eyes and the silly smile you’re always wearing. At least someone is living stress-free under his roof. 

Leon sits on his couch, sipping on a glass of cold whiskey while watching TV. Nothing important. Politics this, criminals that— it’s whatever. A commercial starts playing, one with a pretty lady running through a set of flowery fields to advertise some fancy-sounding perfume. Something, something Eau de parfum. He thinks Ashley would like it.

The cushions beside him sink, the familiar odor of wet dog and stale chips making his nose wrinkle. 

��Hey, off the couch,” He clicks his tongue, hand gently pushing away your pressing face from his chest. You’re insistent, snuffling at his palm with a cold nose. You lick the salty skin, whining softly. Leon hasn’t washed his hands today. How many times has he peed? He doesn’t remember. 

Your tail wags behind you, slapping against the couch with a soft thump. “Hey,” He tries again, half-assedly adding a stern tone to his tired voice. “C’mon, you’re gonna stink it up.”

You wouldn’t stink if he just washed you for once. 

You whine again, pawing at his slacks and leaving short, wispy hairs behind. Leon grimaces. He grabs you by the scruff, ignoring the pained yip you let out and forcibly setting you down on the cold floor, your ass hitting the surface with a blunt thud. 

“Jesus, I just washed these,” He groans, hands sweeping over the fabric of his pants quickly, not getting a single hair off. He doesn’t bother anymore after seeing that. Instead, he turns his gaze down to you, frowning at the pitiful look you give him.

He nudges your side with the point of his shoe, sighing. That’s supposed to be affectionate— at least by his terms. “There’s food in your bowl, isn’t there?” He checks, looking over at the two blue bowls sitting on a dingy plastic mat with cutesy paw pads printed all over meant to contain the pigsty you usually leave after you eat. They’re full. He checks again, and then a third time. Just to make sure he’s not seeing things.

He nudges you again with his foot, this time pushing you a little. “Go, go eat.” His voice rises in pitch, he’s almost cooing at you. You don’t move at all, only tilt your head dumbly, fluffy ears perking as if trying to hear him right. Leon can physically feel the exhaustion soaking into his body like a sponge at the thought of having to figure out what you could possibly want from him. He’s done everything already, hasn’t he?

He slumps against the couch and groans, letting out another sigh right after. Groan and sigh, he could train you with those noises alone. Groan and sigh, they mean leave him alone. You won’t, though. A hard chin rests on his lap, and your big, sad, rheum-coated eyes stare up at him pleadingly. He starts to feel bad. His hand finds the top of your head and ruffles your fur, rough fingers tugging lightly at your ears. He stays there, mindlessly petting you. Lost in thought while he stares into your eyes. You lean into the touch eagerly, tongue lolling out with your happy panting. Leon squints. 

“Is that a flea?” 

Both hands now search through the fur along your ears, and then at the tufts on your throat that lead down to your belly. You plop down onto your side contentedly, mistaking his probing touches for affection, and Leon leans forward, raking his fingers through your tail. 

“Since when do you have fleas?” He looks worried— that’s new. If you have fleas, will he get fleas? He can’t have that. No way. Not in his house. 

He gets up and hastens towards the bathroom. You yip in alarm, following quickly, looking the happiest you’ve been in ages.

Leon doesn’t waste any time running a bath, sitting on the edge, and searching anxiously on his phone while he waits for the water to rise. 

How to get rid of fleas on dogs. 

He reads the first thing that pops up, something about a soapy ring around your neck and a flea comb. He doesn’t have that. He considers calling Ashley for a moment, before quickly relinquishing the thought. She has tons of pups, and she actually takes care of them, but he doesn’t want help. He’s a man; he can take care of this himself. He can get rid of some measly fleas by himself. Plus, he knows that once he invites her over, he’ll never get her to leave, and he’ll end up in a drunken stupor somehow.

The bath is full enough. He turns the knobs, and the water stops running. A small hand towel is stuffed into the drain, keeping the tub from emptying. “Alright boy,” Leon grunts, picking you up by your belly. “Into the water you go.”

He places you down into the warm water, your face blanking with confusion as your fur sticks to your skin. The water reaches the top of your belly, but the rest of you sticks out. You start to tremble like one of those apple-headed chihuahuas, cold. Leon pats your head, attempting to soothe you. 

“There, there,” he frowns, looking around helplessly. Right. No dog shampoo. Nothing bad will happen if he uses his shampoo on you, right? You’re human enough. It’s not like you’re entirely covered in fur. Uncapping the 2 in 1 he uses, he drizzles it over your back, the cold gel making you yip pitifully. “Shhh.”

He rubs the thick liquid onto your back, and then into your fluffy belly. Behind the ears, under your tail— he even goes as far as to get your paw pads into the mix. No matter how much you whine and squirm in protest, he doesn’t falter, merely sparing you with a few gentle words before continuing. Unexpectedly, he’s entirely focused on you. Not his phone, or the glass of alcohol he always nurses. Just you. 

He manages to pluck some fleas out of your fur by hand, but some stick to your skin like glue, hidden well behind layers and layers of matted fur. 

Leon curses under his breath, deciding to get closer. He kneels in front of the tub and tugs you close, working harder to get the results he wants. He’d get rid of those pesky fleas one way or another.

It takes a large amount of elbow grease and time, but eventually, Leon thinks he’s managed to get most of them out. Now, he’s toweling you dry, grimacing in disgust as he watches the murky water trickle into the drain from afar, dead fleas circling the rim idly. He’ll have to clean that soon. The worst of the worst is over though, and he finally gets a chance to catch his breath. You look happy to be out of the water— happy to be clean.

Your fur, once dull and dusty, shines bright, a healthy gleam glazing over your fluff. It’s pretty, he thinks. And it smells great. Way better than the wet dog smell you always carry around. A hint of vanilla and a trace of oats. Some honey, too. Leon inhales deeply, relishing the fresh scent. He pets the top of your head, threading his fingers through the fur around your ears.

“There we go,” He hums, “Isn’t that better? You’re not stinking up the house anymore, buddy.” He coos, ruffling your hair, purposefully riling you up. The bath did wonders, thank god. He was starting to consider building a dog house for you out back.

You wag your soggy tail and shake your head rapidly to dry off, sending specks of water flying everywhere. Leon tilts his head back and squints through the spray, grinning. “Stupid mutt,” he grunts, throwing the towel over your head playfully. 

He watches silently as you struggle to paw off the rough fabric, letting out agitated chuffs. His eyes roam, going over your chest, where your pebbled nipples lay stiff. It’s slightly uncanny how human you are despite your animalistic behavior. His eyes go lower, to where your crotch is. 

He wonders, briefly, how your cock would look standing tall at attention. Is it red and slick, like a real dog’s? He can’t see it now, the length tucked away in its sheath. 

He’ll have to look during one of your heat cycles— when you’re perpetually trying to get your dick wet and sniffing at his groin desperately. Out of curiosity, of course. Nothing more. 

Shaking his head, Leon tugs the towel off your face, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards at your wide-eyed expression. Stupid mutt.

“Out,” He commands with a humph, “come on.”

You give an eager yip, scampering out of the room on your hands and knees, nails clicking loudly against the floor. Leon winces. He’ll have to clip those soon. Today, hopefully.  

After a quick trip to the nearest pet boutique in town and a short walk-in nail trim, you get home looking better than usual. Better as in he can stand the sight of you for once. And the smell.

“Who’s a good boy?” Leon coos, patting his lap after he sits on the couch. You almost stumble over your feet in getting to him, clumsily climbing onto his lap. Leon’s warm, and he smells like a rich old man. Smells, not looks. 

You take a big whiff, pressing your nose into his neck. Your panting quiets into slow puffs of soft breathing, eyes shutting in bliss. Never ever has Leon let you get this chummy with him, so you bask in what you can get. 

The sight melts his stone-cold heart. It’s a necessary balm. One he didn’t know he needed. 

He feels a little guilty. Do you feel sad about the neglect? He doubts you even know about it, but he still feels bad. Poor thing. Not a single thought in your head. Just food and pets. Food and pets and Leon. 

He pats your head, then cups your cheek, thumb wiping away the snot running down your nose. You try to lick it off his skin, but he pinches your nostrils shut admonishingly before you get a chance.

It’s an uncomfortable responsibility, he finds. Having a small boy on his lap like this. A boy that can’t think for himself. A boy that can’t wipe his mouth after he eats. A boy that can’t pee on the damned puppy pads without it leaking through the corners and onto the polished floors.

It’s an uncomfortable responsibility, one he honestly wouldn’t trade for the world. Who would? Having someone reliant on him waiting at his house in rags he’d barely considered clothes beats any wife he could have ever possibly thought of having. 

Who needs a nagging woman around when he’s got a pretty, stupid boy ready to be used as a footstool constantly following after him? It’s everything a guy with an inferiority complex could ask for. 

Leon scratches your back, itching at a spot you’ve been struggling to reach. A pleased rumble draws from you, followed by a yawn. Leon keeps pampering you, watching as you start to drift off on his lap, your face smooshed against his chest. You’re already drooling, leaving small, damp patches over his shirt.

Glancing over at a clock on the wall, Leon lets out a yawn himself once he sees the time. It’s late, almost 10. He tends to sleep earlier, but you’ve kept him busy and distracted all day. It’s not like he had anything better to do; he never does.

The couch isn’t his preferred sleeping location, but it’ll have to do for tonight. He doesn’t want to risk waking you up, no matter how stiff his muscles get. Awkwardly, he angles himself, trying to get as comfortable as possible in a limited space like this. 

Tomorrow, he thinks, he’ll have to get you a shampoo of your own.