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beckyninja · 28 days ago

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Trust

Pairing: Roboute Guilliman x FemReader

Warnings: some suggestive content; implied torture

Description: This is a direct sequel to At First Sight. Guilliman and his intended break the news to their entourages and face the first test of their relationship.

His calloused hands move over your body, mapping each curve and divot. You feel the heat of them, the strength of them. They could hurt you, you know. They could tear you apart with so little effort. But they won’t. You know they won’t.

He whispers your name. You’ve never heard it spoken that way before. Like he’s drinking in each syllable and is awed by the taste. You whisper his in return.

“Roboute…”

He takes your mouth again and you melt further into his arms. He encompasses you. Overwhelms you. Drowns you in his presence.

By the Light and the Void, you sink willingly.

But then he pulls back.

You feel his massive chest heaving against you, hear his breath coming in great gasps. When he speaks, it sounds as if he is trying to hold back an avalanche with will alone.

“I… I must stop.”

***

“My Lady?”

The voice ripped you from your reverie. You jerked upright, blinking. Before you, the great view port stretched to the ceiling, what was usually a view of endless starfield now taken up by the bulk of The Macragge’s Honor. The Ultramarine flagship, at least the size of your homeworld’s capital city, flew alongside and dwarfed your own ship.

It should have been an intimidating sight. Instead, you found the brutal and beautiful lines of the behemoth comforting. Your betrothed was there.

Betrothed.

You bit your lip and tried to hold back a delighted laugh.

Are you thinking of me right now, Roboute?

An impatient sigh reminded you of your company. You composed your face into a pleasant mask and turned to face the frowning attendant. She bobbed a half-hearted curtsy.

“Captain Takahashi, her officers, and Her Grace’s diplomats are assembled, my Lady. As you requested.”

You took a deep breath and rose from the cushioned window seat. “Thank you, Nita. I will be along shortly.”

The woman barely tried to hide her scoff, bobbed another perfunctory curtsy, and scurried off without waiting to be dismissed. You sighed. You’d done all you could to endear yourself to the attendants Grandmother provided. And still they treated you like some provincial hick fresh from the high country.

Which I suppose I was not too long ago.

Oh well. You’d grown used to their slights. They didn’t sting as much as they used to.

Holding your head high, you left the Observation Deck and headed toward the Bridge. Time to deliver the news.

Void only knows how it will be received.

***

“I… I must stop.”

He forces the words through gritted teeth. Every primal instinct he thought himself above roars in protest. They rage against his better judgment, urging him to dominate, to ravish. You’re warm and willing. Your very scent cries out to him. You want this as much as he does.

When he pulls away and you whine in confused protest, his will nearly crumbles.

“Oh My Hearts,” he groans, “do not tempt me.”

“Roboute?” Your soft hand slides along his jaw. “Why…?”

He closes his eyes and fights to master these foreign desires. “I will not dishonor you like this. You deserve better.” When he finally feels he has mastery again, he looks at you. “You will be Lady of Ultramar, my wife. I will not treat you like a mere mistress.”

You are silent for a moment, then, “I understand.”

Taking your hand in his, he presses another kiss to your palm. “Forgive me my rashness.”

“There is nothing to forgive, Roboute.” Your smile lights the dim room. “You’re a good man.”

If you had reached into his chest and plucked out both his hearts, Guilliman assumes he would feel much the same as he does now. Throne! His adoration is painful in its intensity.

“Sleep well, my Love. Fear nothing, and know that I am near.”

***

Roboute Guilliman was never more grateful for his skill at multitasking. His stylus flew over the parchments and data-slates before him with unerring focus, part of his mind steadily solving the unending problems of Imperial government one by one. As usual.

He trusted his face remained set in its usual mask. No one near could possibly guess at the turmoil beneath.

You. You. Youyouyouyou….

Your scent. The floral, herbal fragrance you favored, mixed with something he could only describe as fresh. Like the mountain air of Macragge.

Your touch. Cool in comparison to his and impossibly soft.

Your taste… the sounds you made….

Throne damn it all!

The stylus in his hand snapped in two. He growled and leaned back in his chair, dragging a hand across his face. For the thousandth time that day, his eyes went to the view port, and the sleek ship that floated beyond.

He understood your need to address your crew and fellow diplomats. His rational mind did, anyway. Every other part of him chafed at the thought that you were no longer in reach. You were so fragile, and this universe so capricious.

Whatever chance granted him this bit of solace could snatch it away just as easily. His chest constricted at the thought. He needed you close. On his ship. In his arms. In his bed.

No, damn it!

There were rules, in both your culture and his. Rules that needed to be followed. He would not permit you to begin your life at his side under a cloud of scandal. Throne knew acclimating would be hard enough without that. Besides, he wanted to court you, like the lady you were.

His impromptu proposal would already raise eyebrows. He frowned. You needed a proper ring. He’d have to see to that-

“My Lord.”

Sicarius marched into his office, sabatons striking the floor with slightly more force than usual. Guilliman could read the displeasure on the Commander’s face as he stiffly saluted.

“Are they all assembled?”

“Yes, my Lord. The Victrix Guard, the Ultramarine Captains in attendance, all the most senior baseline officers and officials, and the Mechanicus ArchMagi. As you ordered.”

“The Astropaths are prepared to transmit?”

“They are, my Lord.” Sicarius hesitated a moment. “Forgive me, Lord Guilliman, but, may I speak freely?”

Here it comes. Guilliman sighed.

“Speak.”

“I do not understand your reasoning behind this decision, my Lord.”

Not for the first time, Guilliman regretted the Commander’s presence that fateful night. Hiding anything from Astartes’ ears was nigh impossible, and he remembered well the look of utter horror on the Commander’s face when he’d exited your quarters.

Guilliman stood and made his way toward the door. “I shall make my reasoning clear during the official announcement, Sicarius.”

I doubt you would understand even if I explained it to you. I doubt any of your brothers will either.

Somehow, that saddened him.

***

“In conclusion, Lord Guilliman has made me an offer of marriage, and I have accepted.”

As you expected, your announcement is met by stunned silence, followed by a flurry of hysteria from the other diplomats.

“What?!”

“This is not what was planned!”

“What would Her Grace, your grandmother, say?”

“Have you lost what little mind you ever possessed?!”

You winced at the last outburst, coming from Lord O’Rourke. The stout career politician was the senior diplomat in this delegation, though your superior rank placed you in the position of Ambassador.

A fact he’d never forgiven you for.

You watched his face turn from its usual red to a truly alarming shade of purple. He lurched toward you and you had to fight the urge to shy away.

He can’t hurt me here. Not in front of everyone.

O’Rourke halted just a few feet in front of you. You could see, and smell, the sweat dripping from his face. He jabbed a finger at you.

“Foolish, brainless, naive little girl!” Spittle flew from his lips. “Get back over there and tell that barbarian warlord you’ve come to your senses and refuse his disgusting impertinence!”

Your eyes narrowed at the insult. He’d been singing a different tune when he’d actually met the Primarch, cringing and quivering on his knees.

“I’m afraid it’s far too late for that, O’Rourke. As we speak, Lord Guilliman is delivering the message to his staff, and then on to the wider Imperium. What’s done is done.” Indignation emboldened you. “And I, for one, am glad of it.”

The stinging slap caught you by surprise. A few of those present gasped, more smirked, as you stumbled back.

“Selfish bastard bitch!” O’Rourke snarled. “Have you any idea what you’ve done? You’ve sold your people into slavery because you couldn’t keep your legs close-”

“That will be quite enough, my Lord.” Captain Takahashi’s quiet command cut through the politician’s rant.

He whirled on her. “This is my delegation! You cannot tell me-”

“This is the Lady Heir’s delegation.” The Captain approached from her position by the helm. “But you stand on the Bridge of my ship.” She stood a good two feet shorter than the politician, but commanded far greater respect. “And I will not tolerate such undisciplined behavior. Will you, my Lady?”

The Captain sent you a meaningful glance. You swallowed tears of pain and shame.

“I-I will not. L-Lord O’Rourke, please remove yourself from my presence until you have r-regained your composure.”

Void! Why can’t I stop my voice from shaking?

O’Rourke looked as if he was about to argue, when a motion from the Captain brought two men-at-arms to your side, hands on their weapons. The politician seethed and stormed off the bridge, followed by the rest of the diplomats. They did not bother waiting for your dismissal.

You let loose a long, unsteady breath. “Thank you, Captain.”

She nodded. “I know my duty, Lady Heir. Even if some have forgotten theirs.” A brief pause. “Would you do me the honor of joining me in my stateroom?”

You managed a smile and followed her off the bridge. Once inside the rather spartan stateroom, the Captain pulled a chair and motioned for you to sit. She then called a steward, who vanished into a sideroom before re-emerging with an ice pack and a flask.

“For your face.” The Captain handed you the icepack. “And for your spirit.” She handed you the flask.

“Thank you.”

You pressed the pack to your aching cheek, but did not drink from the flask.

“You’ve always been kind to me, Captain.” The stoic woman bowed her head in acknowledgement. “I would know your thoughts on this matter, if I may.”

A long silence. The Captain seemed to stare off into the distance before speaking.

“In my time in your presence, I have come to know you as a conscientious young woman. You care for our people, and would never take a course of action that would harm them.”

You warmed under the rare praise.

“In fact, I believe you would sacrifice both your dignity and your honor if you believed it necessary. You have been taught to do so.”

Your eyes widened. “This isn’t like that, Captain!”

“Is it not?”

You set the ice pack on the table. Your mind spun with a thousand different arguments and rationalizations. Finally, you settled on the simplest.

“I love him.”

Her expression didn’t change. “But do you trust him, Lady Heir?”

A bucket of ice water dashed over your head would have felt much the same. “I….”

By the Light and the Void, do I? Or am I being played for a fool yet again?

You finally chose to take a swig from the silver flask. The liquor burned its way down your throat, but failed to supply the courage you sought.

“Captain, I…I don’t-”

“Captain!”

A naval officer burst into the stateroom, eyes wild. “Someone has armed the nuclear arsenal!”

Captain Takahashi was on her feet in the blink of an eye. “Shut down the firing systems, immediately!”

“We’ve tried, Ma’am. We’ve been locked out of the computer!” He swallowed. “They’re aiming at the Imperial flagship.”

Roboute.

You felt your heart still. “Light help us.”

***

Guilliman stood in his massive audience chamber. The vaulted ceilings, great pillars, and vast murals of Ultramarine triumphs never failed to awaken mixed feelings of pride and melancholy in him. But today, today he allowed himself to feel just a sliver of joy as well.

He knew few enough in the multitude shared the sentiment.

Shock seemed to be the prevailing emotion, followed closely by confusion, especially among his sons. At least they didn’t all express the same blatant disdain as Sicarius. He hoped some of them would eventually come to appreciate your presence. Part of him wished Calgar were aboard, just to see his reaction.

The baseline officials traded glances and whispers amongst themselves. They all knew of your existence, of course. But relatively few had ever come into contact with you. This news must seem to come out of nowhere to them.

Only the Mechanicum Magi had no response at all. Guilliman could imagine them wondering why he’d interrupted their work for such a trivial announcement.

He found himself oddly disappointed.

Then he noticed the serfs.

They moved among and on the edges of the crowd, unnoticed by nearly all. But his Primarch’s eyes caught the smiles beneath their hooded robes.

It seems some did share his joy after all. The thought lifted his hearts.

He turned to Sicarius. “See that the Astropaths transmit this message not only to Holy Terra, but to the Captains of the Companies as well.”

Sicarius nodded, but did not leave immediately. “My Lord, what if this is all some sort of trap?”

A few eyes glanced their way and Guilliman growled. “Lower your voice, Commander.”

He did, but did not stop speaking. “I do not know how this… female has ensnared you, my Lord. But have you considered that she could be some sort of psyker? How do we even know her people possess any useful technology? Perhaps this is all an elaborate ploy to get you to lower your-”

“Enough!” Guilliman winced as his retort echoed throughout the chamber.

He retreated to his office. Sicarius followed, silent but obviously displeased. Once inside, Guilliman whirled on him.

“Commander, I understand your concerns, but if you ever, ever question my judgment in front of such a multitude again, I will see you demoted and dishonored. Do you understand?”

Sicarius went rigid. “Yes, my Lord.”

Guilliman closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “Do you think I have not considered each and every one of the things you named? I have. And I have discarded them all.”

The Commander’s facial muscles twitched in such a way that Guilliman knew he was struggling to remain silent.

Guilliman turned away.

How can I explain this in a way you could understand, Cato? How can I say that I truly do not care if her world is of value to the Imperium or not? As long as I have her.

He remembered the look in your eyes when you accepted his proposal. The love he saw there. He knew what betrayal looked like. Few knew it better.

You would never do that to me.

Alarms blared. A mechanical voice screeched through both his and Sicarius’s personal vox-casters: “FOREIGN WEAPONS SYSTEMS’ ACTIVATION DETECTED. ALL HANDS TO STARBOARD BATTLE STATIONS.”

Sicarius leapt into action. “My Lord! We must get you to the armoring room!”

But Guilliman broke away and strode to his view port. Your ship slid into view, small and silvery and somehow more aggressive than it had been just hours before. He saw portals, like mocking mouths, opening all along the side facing The Macragge’s Honor. Missile ports.

“My Lord!” Sicarius bellowed.

The mechanical voice screeched again. “COUNTERMEASURES READY. AWAITING ORDER TO FIRE.”

Behind him, he heard Sicarius activate his vox. “This is Cato Sicarius, Commander of the Victrix Guard, I hereby give the order to-”

“Wait.”

Sicarius’s voice rose into octaves not usually attained by an Astartes. “My Lord?!”

Guilliman ignored him, eyes fixed on your ship. In a mere millisecond to the average human, his mind raced through every possible option. His flagship could atomize your’s without even putting a dent in its munitions stock. Your crew knew they had no chance. That left malfunction as a possibility.

Or suicide. Your ship had been allowed closer to The Macragge’s Honor than any non-Imperial ship in millenia. This could be some desperate, sacrificial attempt at assassination. Sicarius’ words, dismissed moments before, now gnawed at him.

Had that been your plan all along?

“Lord Guilliman!” Sicarius all but screamed.

He did not speak, eyes still fixed on the open missile ports. He should give the order. But something… something held him back.

“INCOMING MESSAGE FROM FOREIGN VESSEL.”

He let out the breath he’d been holding. “Patch it through to my personal vox.”

Behind him, he sensed Sicarius was nearing an apoplectic fit.

“Roboute?”

Your voice, thin and staticky from a barely compatible communications system. But still your voice.

He activated his vox and spoke your name.

***

You gasped in relief at the sound of your name over the transmitter. “Roboute! Don’t fire. There was a mutiny among several of my delegation. They hijacked one of the firing systems.” You knew you were babbling, but couldn’t stop yourself. “We managed to stop them just in time and things are back under control. Don’t fire!”

Tears filled your eyes. You couldn’t decide if they came from the stress of the last few minutes, or the idea that your love might think you’d betrayed him.

“Please don’t fire. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I-I would never….” Your throat nearly closed.

Beside you, one of the naval officers reported. “Their weapons’ systems are still active, Captain.”

Captain Takahashi’s face, blackened from weapons’ fire, was grim. She motioned to another officer.

“How quickly can we cloak?”

The officer just shook his head.

You swallowed. It was all up to you.

Do I trust him? Does he trust me?

“Roboute, please.”

You felt a strange sense of calm as the realization you’d done all you could came over you. Now it was up to him.

The officer next to you suddenly laughed. “They’re powering down!”

The transmitter cracked to life. “Are you well?”

Tears fell. You replayed the last few minutes over in your mind. Chasing after the Captain and her men-at-arms as they rushed to the Fire Control Center. You hadn’t known what else to do, and waiting seemed unbearable.

There you’d found the door held by Lord O’Rourke’s personal guard. Shouts. Screams. Smoke in the air. Someone had shoved you to the floor. You remember wishing you had a rifle.

In seconds that seemed like hours, your group had forced their way past the door, and found O’Rourke poised to fire the missiles.

He’d looked so proud. “I do this for our people, and by the command of the rightful heir-”

Light and Void, had you really thrown yourself at him? At that moment, you hadn’t thought of the alliance, shattered before it had a chance to begin. You hadn’t thought of the hundreds of innocents who would die. You hadn’t even thought of your own life.

You’d thought of impossibly blue eyes, looking at you like no one had ever looked at you before.

When you awoke moments later, ribs aching from where you’d been thrown against the computer bank, all you could think about was getting to the nearest transmitter.

“Yes, Roboute, I am well.”

The next hours passed in a blur. Roboute insisted you return to his flagship, and Captain Takahashi had agreed. She couldn’t know who else among her crew might be plotting mutiny. But she did have one thing to say when she met the Primarch in the docking bay.

“Nothing will stop me from launching every bit of ordinance I have at your ship, if the Lady Heir comes to harm under your care.”

The Ultramarines had stiffened, but Roboute only nodded. “If I allow harm to befall her, I will lower our shields myself.”

Then he’d swept you into his arms. You snuggled against him as he carried you through the halls of his ship, ignoring the glances from those you passed.

“Where are you taking me?

“I have had new quarters prepared for you, adjacent to my own.” He smiled wryly down at you. “I am not letting you out of my sight again. Not, at least, until we reach your homeworld.”

You stiffened. “You’re taking me home?”

“Of course. How else will I officially ask for your hand?”

You pressed your face into his chest, not wanting him to see the dismay that flitted across it. Home held fewer happy memories than he thought. Still….

You trusted Roboute Guilliman to keep you safe.

***

Guilliman made sure you were tucked safely in bed, a medica on hand and one of his Victrix Guard stationed by the door, before he made his way back to the docking bay. Commander Sicarius and a rather plain-looking baseline man fell into step behind him.

The warmth and comfort of your presence faded with each thunderous step, changing into cold rage.

A tiny woman met him outside of a shuttle similar to the one in which you’d first arrived. He nodded to her.

“Captain Takahashi.”

He saw her shiver slightly at the expression on his face, though she quickly regained her composure. “Lord Guilliman.”

He glanced toward the shuttle. “My thanks for bringing me what I asked for. I sincerely hope you will not be reprimanded by your superiors.”

“I would endure any level of reprimand necessary for this. Besides,” her dark eyes glittered coldly, “prisoners are often ‘shot while trying to escape’.”

She snapped an order into her comm-link and the ramp of the shuttle opened. There was a muffled shriek as a bound and gagged figure tumbled down and into the docking bay. He’d been stripped to his underclothes, and his skin already bore numerous mottled bruises.

The Captain eyed him. “The Lady Heir managed to land a few good hits before he threw her off.”

Guilliman felt a surge of pride. “She is stronger than she looks.”

“In more ways than one.” The Captain saluted. “My Lord, I leave you with your baggage. I trust you’ll share whatever information he divulges. I am most interested in whoever gave him his orders.”

“As am I.”

The Captain strode up the ramp without a second glance at the bound man, even when he whimpered something that sounded like her name. A second later the ramp closed, and the shuttle departed.

Guilliman walked slowly toward the man, stretching to his full, armored height and never breaking eye contact. The pathetic figure immediately soiled himself.

“Interrogator,” Guilliman motioned to the unassuming baseline, “how long before you extract every secret this insect has to give?”

The man cocked his head, the implants where his eyes used to be whirring, “Oh, an hour at most, my Lord. Faster, if you don’t mind more… extensive damage.”

“Proceed.”

“And when I am finished, my Lord? What shall I do with what remains?”

Guilliman stared down, unblinking, at the screaming form of Lord O’Rourke, the man who’d come so close to extinguishing one of the only lights in his life.

“The lower decks are always in need of more servitors.”

@remembrancer-of-heresy @solspina @sleepyfan-blog @moodymisty @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

@bispecsual @kit-williams @cosmic-cryptid-from-beyond @adhd-fandom-hyperfocus @lemon-russ

@justeverythingnothingelse @scriberye @bleedingichorhearts @c-u-c-koo-4-40k @mooniequeen

@passionofthesith @noncon-photobomb @sinistermojo @b-rabbitboss

#warhammer 40k #primarch x reader #roboute gulliman #roboute gulliman x reader #the first hiccup in the relationship #trust issues #shadowy forces at play?#but these two come out strong

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lutawolf · 4 months ago

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Hidden Agenda Ep 1 Soft D/s Commentary

I was explaining to some friends that I feel Hidden Agenda was a great example of cultural D/s or soft D/s. I'm going to do my best to explain why I see it this way.

Now, first impressions would have you believing that these two are on equal footing. Both have attitudes and are giving as good as they get, but notice that Zo submits more often than not to Joke. At this time, we will say it's the nice guy in him, but notice that Joke is crowding Zo. While Zo might be reading it as an intimidation tactic, that isn't what Joke is trying to do. He is attempting to elevate himself to the top of the hierarchy at this juncture.

If you want to see real equal footing, look at Zo and his friend group. Each place with visit with them shows no hierarchy, not even ones typically seen in Asian culture. They speak casually to each other without any submission or dominance.

Now look at Joke on the bus with Zo. It's an immediate show of dominance. Joke is once again invading Zo's space in order to enforce dominance. Generally speaking, Asian relationships have a more Dominant partner and a more submissive partner, and this can be seen in more than just romantic relationships. Sometimes this also carries into romantic relationships, and sometimes it doesn't. This is due to their culture, which I'll tag @notfreetoday in on, as she explains this much better than me.

Anyway, we can clearly see that Joke is attempting to be the more dominant partner. Which is entirely different from Zo's friend group. Even when Zo pushes Joke's arm off, he still stays in Zo's space. Just look at his legs. Zo's legs are breathing room open while Joke is full on doing the man spread. This body language says a lot. It literally means this is my territory, I consider this person my territory. It speaks confidence in protecting what is his that he has claimed, whether it is space or person.

Have you ever noticed what types of personalities ask people to beg? Dominant personalities. Someone who wants to dominate over someone else. There are charming Doms, but most are also assholes, with bullying tendencies. The difference is, and what keeps us from being called bullies, we prefer people who like to be bullied.

Now, if you look at the debate club, you can see that how Zo treats Wave is what I mean by hierarchy. If you look closely, you can see the similarity to how Zo treats Wave and Joke vs. everyone else. There is more respect there for Wave, but the overall is similar. Even Zo with Nita, while Zo is shy, there is a casual equality. Yet with Joke, there is space invasion and bullying. Now, I've seen many people say that this looks like a regular relationship, but can you also see the Dominance and even, to a certain amount of submission? Now ask yourself if maybe this seems normal to you because you're used to hierarchy relationships.

The bar scene shows Joke man spreading again, but you can also see that he's giving Nita a fair amount of space. He isn't interested in claiming her as territory. Also notice how everyone is talking to Trin respectfully and not casually even when joking. Again, it's that hierarchy at play. Then we see more space invasion and bullying from Joke again, this is all Dominant actions. You can be attracted to someone and act on that attraction without being Dominant, but Joke is being Dominant.

You might be thinking, but Luta, I've seen many people flirt like this before. Indeed, those individuals who possess dominant personalities. Some people like it and others don't, which is why we teach consent. We emphasize that it is inappropriate for boys to be boys and pull a girl's ponytail because he likes her, or vice versa. However, this is actually the beginning of a dominant personality. I resent it when boys would do such things to me; however, I am a Dom and have been since childhood. Now, inquire of a submissive individual regarding their reaction. Consent is paramount, but it is not as important in fiction. So let's continue.

The bar bathroom scene. Joke is everything that Dom is. From the way he won't be pushed away, to the way he sternly demands Zo's submission, and even the way he is caging him in. Even the way Joke cares for Zo is 100% how a good Dom treats their submissive. We might bully them, but we also take care of them. We also don't kick them when they are down, we listen, we console and if it's our fault, we recognize. We bully but aren't bullies. Again we have Joke holding Zo back and using a tone to gain Zo's submission. Anyone notice that Zo does pause when given that tone?

Now look at the apology scene. Notice that Joke doesn't instantly forgive, nor is he angry. He explains and then we get teaching mode. Now we have commands, follow, sit, and Zo submits. This next part has all of you questioning me, right? When Zo gets pushy with Joke about his wound and caring for it. First, let's acknowledge that while Zo is relatively submissive, he isn't one hundred percent submissive. Then keep in might that there are different levels of submission. A brat submissive will absolutely fight with their Dom. Especially if it concerns their Dom's health.

The juice scene is my favorite. Notice how much more pushy and Dominant, Joke, gets when he becomes Zo's “mentor.” Forcing Zo into drinking the juice. Why was the drinking of the juice so important? “wo ai ni, ni ai wo, ting dong ma” translating to “I love you, you love me, do you understand?” He also mimicked the Chinese tradition of jiaobeijiu where the bride and groom would drink wine together in the bridal chamber and was used to symbolize the confirmation of marital union. This would either be one cup or two tied together by a red string. That little smirk from Joke, knowing he has completely pulled one over on Zo.

That is all for Episode 1. Let me know what you think of this in the comments. If you'd liked to be tagged when I do other episodes, please let me know. Hope you enjoy! 💜💜💜

#hidden agenda #luta talks hidden agenda #luta talks

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lousiee · 1 year ago

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rewatching sailor moon :]

#also painting chrimmis presents 4 my friends >:]#happy #toby speaks #nita speaks #collective talks

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justafriend-ql · 1 year ago

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it's all about the *hands* (hidden agenda meta)

i really love the focus hidden agenda is putting on hands, and not just in the hand-holding scenes. even when joke and zo's hands aren't the primary focus of the shot, they're almost always doing something interesting - especially in zo's case. although he's tight-lipped and hesitant about his feelings for joke, zo's hands reveal what he dares not admit.

the expressive power of hands

first, let me nerd out a little about how important hands are as conveyors of emotion. earlier this year, i had the opportunity to go to an exhibit displaying the work of french sculptor françois auguste rené rodin, who "almost obsessively explored the expressive power of hands" . he believed that hands could convey just as much, if not more, emotion than facial expressions. he created several hand studies, my favorite of which - "the cathedral" - i've featured below. the sculpture depicts two hands encircled around one another, fingers just about to touch.

you don't need to see anything but the hands in order to get a feeling of romance, anticipation, and desire. in the spirit of these rodin statues, i want to focus just on joke and zo's hands, and how the series has employed them to tell us how joke and zo feel about each other, even when they otherwise mask their feelings.

joke reaches out; zo panics

hidden agenda #1 in this series is joke's plan to get close to zo under the pretense of helping him win over nita. but it's not very well hidden, as many viewers have noted, because joke keeps reaching out and touching zo. most of the time, it's intentional: too afraid to say he likes zo aloud, he uses his hands to tell zo instead.

and you can tell zo receives the message, because every time joke touches him, he Feels Things and freaks out.

what's interesting is that zo isn't freaking out about joke wanting to touch him. he's freaking out because he wants to touch joke. and he has since the beginning.

gif from @respectthepetty, who first highlighted this moment

and when he's not thinking too much about it, he does reach out and touch joke.

gifs from @gunsatthaphan and @mooninagust, respectively

unfortunately, zo is an overthinker.

zo's hand gestures are usually precise and deliberate, but when joke flirts, they become nervous and clumsy

another way we see zo's feelings for joke through his hands is how zo's precise gestures become clumsy when he's around joke. zo is a dedicated member of the debate team, and that affects the way he talks and gestures. in promo videos and interviews for the series, dunk has frequently mentioned how he had to practice talking and gesturing in the distinct, formal way people do during debates. he thinks before he speaks, talks slowly, and exaggerates his hand gestures to emphasize what he's saying.

but when he's flustered by what joke says or does, all that debate team training goes out the window. he flails, fidgets, and clutches his hands into fists. because he's nervous - big time.

fantastic gif from @chinzhilla

(right before joke asks zo how he feels about him)

when things get intimate, zo doesn't touch joke

reflecting his nervousness and hesitancy about his feelings for joke, zo is careful not to touch him when they kiss, nor when he finds their faces centimeters apart when they're sharing a bed.

gif from @mooninagust

he doesn't touch joke in these especially heated moments because to do so would be a confession in of itself, and he's not ready for that. but he's working towards it - as he becomes more comfortable with his feelings for joke, he's started to reach out to hold his hand (twice in episode 6).

zo's hands are very dynamic in these two scenes. he's relishing the ability to express how he feels in a way that feels comfortable for him, and he's exploring the new sensation of closeness with joke, finding that he likes it.

gif from @userneos

so next time he kisses joke, he's not only going to touch joke - he's going to pull him in closer.

#hidden agenda #hidden agenda meta #hidden agenda the series #jokezo #this is... excessively long #i'm so sorry the hands have taken over my brain

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absolutebl · 1 year ago

Text

This Week in BL - There's so much airing even I'm struggling to keep up

That's why I'm late.

Aug 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 6 of 8 - Oh no. I am totally in love with the escaped young master & his smitten bodyguard. How did that happen? (Be careful P’Thee the broken ones are the most tempting. Tin understands.) NO SINGING! Trust Thai BL to destroy any moment of sentiment I might have by picking up a damn guitar. And we finally get Charn’s Batman villain origin story. Good use of back hug! This is a GREAT show. Melodramatic as fuck, but GREAT. Gotta say this pair in NOT Thailand’s best kissers but not everyone can be Zee++. Still I think that + singing + a touch of overacting is likely to keep this out of the 10/10 club.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 1 of 12 - Rich /poor dynamic with characters & set up exactly as expected. Chimon is great. Perth is good too. A real rich-kid bully, Heirs level or Japanese F4 evil. All the teachers are also corrupt (that’s kinda a Thai thing, I think because they can't call out the government). I gotta say, Marc is doing a bang-up job as the jock friend, too. And the kiss twist was fun. All in all, this is good. And you know me, I love a high school BL.

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat YT) ep 1 of 12 - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for. Adaption of y-novel by Violet Rain, from the producers of Lovely Writer. Heartbroken architect is transported to the 1930s. Nonkul (actor playing Jom) keeps reminding me of Cho Han Gyeol from Love Mate. It’s a bit slow to start but interesting when it hits its stride. The pacing feels like a Chinese historical (makes me wonder if this with be 4 or 6 act structure). Nonkul is a wonderful actor. They weren’t sharing the screen for long, but the leads seem good together. I’m in.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Well. It’s entertaining, I'll say that for it. Addiction. Manipulation. Queer as folk & all that jazz. (No jazz for you, Thailand. Oh no! I’m giving them ideas.) I would like it to turn out that Mew is actually manipulating everything. This is his revenge con on Top. Mew is, after all, supposed to be "the smart one." Gotta say, this is darn near perfect casting. But honestly? This show could just be about Ray & Sand. Their story (and them in it) is easily the most riveting. Sand better be careful, the wildly broken ones are always the best in bed, because they don’t care ao they have no shame and that's HOT.

Hidden Agenda (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 6 of 10 - I like how soft Joke’s version of seme flirting is. It’s mellow, like his voice gets with Zo. I also liked Zo casually chatting to his friends about how he feels about being flirted with. His friends gave good advice & were supportive. Oh no! A boy in a BL went into the rain ALONE. What ON EARTH will happen next? The argument was interesting, because it gave us insight into Zo’s maturity & ability to handle a relationship. I’ve been wondering why anyone would like him, and now I know. Joke & Nita’s backstory is fun. I like the gay boy protecting the straight girl reverse beard action. On a complete aside, I really like Dunk’s makeup in this series. It’s very Kdrama.

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The house ghosts trying to help are cute. The plot is at least... a plot? I don’t know. Dias Ex Mafia is a new one on me. (COME ON THAT’S A GREAT PUN, PRAISE ME!) I’m ready for this show to be over.

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 7 of 12 - Honestly, the whole time I’m watching this I’m just thinking I wish JaFirst got better scripts. Speaking of, I don’t object, but these characters sure moved into sex fast. I really don’t quite understand how Daddy & Hot Doc got together so fast either. It feels like their story was meant to be spread out into the other episodes but didn’t get cut in properly, so it ended up all in this one? Or is it just the pacing is particularly bad in this show?

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 eps - I have no idea what is going on. What are all of Dino’s friends doing? What do they want? what’s their point in the story? I’m even annoyed by Peak, and love him. Sex scene which they tried to make sexy. Operative word being tried. Although, there was some interesting after sex discussion about mechanics. And there was a cute bathtub chat about pet names. But this show is a lotta work for very little pay out.

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 5 of 7 - I like the sunshine sides? PUNCH LOM 2023! Trash watch here!

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - Pushy older bro is Earn from Love Sick, yay! And he’s the hyung of a side couple, which is "best friend’s older brother" trope! My favorite!!!! Have we seen this in BL before? I don't think so. Anyway, DOUBLE YAY! The main couple… eh. You know I loathe stalker characters. And I viscerally HATE this one. Almost as bad as SCOY, not sure I can take it, actually. The squealing of "Tammy!" is worse on my ear than any off-key guitar strumming. I may have to DNF or fast forward through all his parts… but he’s the lead. What to do? I do like the “Chinese” businessman actor. He very cute. (On an aside, I was just reading about commercial real estate as the loophole for foreign property investors in Thailand. Cool plot point.) I’m getting a Taming of the Shrew vibes from this. Just me? For now it's living at the bottom of the list for sheer unadulterated loathing of Phumjai. Not the actor, he was my favorite and only good thing about Our Days. But this character? NO.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 5 of 8 - This is basically the gay Boys Over Flowers of my heart. Or as close as I think we’ll get from BL. I like both of the 2nd leads, even though I suspect Simon of actually being into everyone’s fav hyung. Cute to see the Mr Heart boys back on my screen, oh so briefly. Such a Taiwan trick, reusing a beloved couple like that. Nice gimmie to the fans. Meanwhile, Choi Jun - boy sure knows his angles but his motives? Please don’t let this be another arranged marriage beard situation? I can’t take 2 in the same month.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 8 of 10 - The boyfriends ep! JC is biggest simp spoiling his baby EVER. Taiwan = the sappiest of saps. “Owning the same key” is such a cute way of putting it. Also I love the "knew all along" twist, made me happy. The angst is silly but that's normal in Taiwanese BL.

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 3-4 of 10 - Pair 1: Lee Hyun is such a wide-open, bleeding, no-shame romantic. It’s kinda great. Boy has a poet’s soul & NO artifice. J-Min is startlingly good, very nuanced. I know I keep saying that, but I’m v surprised by his skillz. And… add in creepy stalker, goody. Pair 2: The "other student couple" I’m not into, also NO SINGING. Pair 3: The underwear gift was so fucking funny. “I’m going reap the boxers I sewed” is next level script excellence. These two are brilliant at gayest-of-gay flirt-negging, I'm INTO IT. One of my housemates said, in response to my audible cackling, "You seem to be enjoying your shows extra much tonight."

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - Oh I love love love them. It’s so old school yaoi and SO JBL. No other country could produce this kind of show. I love this little feminist aspect where the weatherman treats his boy like a 1950s housewife & said boy thinks that makes him an indentured servant. Clocks. But also, the way our weatherman LOOKS at his boy. He is so in love. (It looks like we skip next week for holiday reasons?)

Sing My Crush (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 8 - It remains enjoyable.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - At least we know Minato actually desires Shin, he just won’t do anything about it. Also, Minato chose the perfect person to come out to. That's nice for him. Finally, Shu & Asuka are glorious. Sides are winning these days.

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 3 of 5 - A proper faen fatal has entered one of our couples. She won too, since she ended up marrying the boy. Still not sure about this show (and it should have convinced me by now). I definitely like the tattoo couple better than the reunion couple. Still, not a lot happened in this episode and this is short series, they don’t have time to waste. It remains intriguing but not... erm... good.

In case you missed it

River Knows Fish Heart is leaving Gaga soon. It's a decent little bully romance Chinese BL (pulp) - yes, you read that right. Actual CBL. Not great, but if you're into the CBL stuff, especially the early stuff, this has some of that tenor only made in 2018 (I have a feeling it was shot in 2017 and skated through). Anygay, just staying. Catch it before it disappears because with CBL once they gone, often, they gone forever.

Friend. Boy Friend a new Thai BL pulp was supposed to start airing on Aug 19th. I can't find it. Neither can MDL.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Everything from Thailand seems to be dropping on Sat & Sun this month. It's a good thing I got quiet weekends for a while. Also the BL firehose is upon us, so much content.

Starting this week:

8/20 (tomorrow) My Universe series (Sun iQIYI) 24 eps - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct.

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer.

8/23 Why R U? (Korean remake iQIYI) 8 eps - I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for 8 short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Another show reviewing itself. (Dino Love)

Don't insult bastards, Lom. (Wedding trash)

I would like this adorable romcom GMMTV, please and thank you.

See what I mean? Trixy.

Thanks boys. (All Only Friends)

(Last week)

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genma-support-group · 5 months ago

Text

The village was buzzing with life as women gave birth to their newborns that they had conceived during the winter months. Alfonso blessed each set of the newborns with a drop of water found deep in the mountains. Waters that are said to have been placed there by the Gods that they worshiped, and none argued that notion. But following the last set of twin boys, the chief found himself longing for the touch of a woman, a woman that would bare him boys. Siblings for his only child that looked on to other families in confusion.

As he walks down the tunnels that were packed with families, that he had blessed hours, minutes, and seconds earlier. His soft smile fading as he stepped into the warm air that was a contrast to the hot tunnels he had moved through. A soft sigh escapes from his lips, as he moves down the stone steps, and down the dirt road that cuts through the village that was preparing for the holiday of love. He gave weak smiles to those he passed, until the familiar scent of the woman he shared a hut with, fills the air around him. It was a scent he often forced himself to ignore, her desires were plain in her smell.

It wasn’t long until he found her in the market, the male gaze on her as she carried on with a conversation with an older Wolvian woman who smiled at her, missing teeth and all.

“Nita,” Alfonso calls out, approaching in a stiff manner, as the attention of the males around her shifts to their chief. “Come along.” He gestures with his hand, that is out-stretched.

“Of course chief,” Nita says in return, bowing her head a little before following the man that saved her all those years ago. “If I may ask, did I do something wrong?” She asks as his hand grabbed hers. Almost dragging her to their shared hut, knowing well that Alvero was not home but out playing with the rest of the pups his age.

Alfonso was silent, pushing pass those that got in their way, until they make it to the steps that lead towards the large home that they shared. “Your scent is strong and almost intoxicating for me not to take you.”

Nita was stunned at her chiefs words, it was a contrast to his more honorable nature so she thought. A shade of red filled her cheeks as she attempted to speak finding that her words failed her in her attempts ease the man in front of her. Mumbling her words as she is pulled to the home, and nearly thrown up against the wall just beside the wooden door that was slammed shut behind her. The things she bought at the market thrown onto the floor, as the skirt of her dress was ripped off of her, revealing her cunt to the man she had been longing for since her arrival to the village. Her smell was stronger now than before, he positioned himself behind her, lowering his upper half to her ear as he groaned into it.

“You are going to give me pups,” He demanded, as he grabbed a hand full of ass cheek. Another groan escapes his lips, as he carried on. “I will fuck you until you are with child, and then fuck you again.” He finishes as he pulls his head away from her.

Her sandy blonde hair was a contrast to those in the village, she was after all a human woman that Alfonso took petty on, so says the rumors.

#werewolf #mating cycles/in heat #adult human female #monster fucker #semi smut #original concept #my writing #original character #smut

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bagopucks · 2 years ago

Text

J. Drysdale - Drago-nita

✄————————————

Jamie Drysdale x Fem!reader (really light implications of feelings)

Requested✨

Word Count: 3.6k

Warning(s): Not much. Mention of sickness, assumptions of a dead animal. General dumbassery from Trev and J.. maybe a little from the reader too.

Gif was too good not to use. Jamie looking as exasperatedly at the title as I imagine the reader does at Trevor when he says it…

—————————————

I had just settled in bed. Just gotten comfortable and warm under my blankets, when I got a call from Jamie.

I told him he could contact me at any point while Trevor was out of the house on a road trip. Jamie seemed to do fine on his own the first few days, handling his sprained wrist well on top of everything else. Apparently I was wrong.

“It’s not moving.”

I didn’t know what to think when I heard him speak over the line. He sounded so worried, but I didn’t understand what ‘it’ was.

“Jamie,” I sighed his name into the receiver. I just wanted to rest, but there was a nagging concern in the back of my head. “What’s not moving?”

“Drago.. I poked him.. he’s like.. he’s cold.” I heard him pause, then a ruffle follow over the phone. It took me a moment to remember who and what Drago was. “Oh my god..” the words were dragged out in a whisper of slow realization.

“I think I killed Trevor’s lizard.” Despite the fact that he was home alone, Jamie was still quiet. As if at any moment, Trevor might break the door down and smite him for causing the death of the poor little animal.

“J, have you been feeding it?” I slowly sat up, trying not to sound too frustrated as I rubbed at one of my eyes.

“Yes! And putting water in the cage whenever its sponge gets dry.” I can tell Jamie is worried, but I’m not sure how to even go about a situation like this. Or why I was called to handle it.

“You have to come over and look at him.. okay? Please.” I truly did not want to get out of bed.

“If Drago’s dead, he’s dead, Jame.. there’s nothing I can really do about it.” I felt bad turning him down, but that was the truth.

“I just need somebody else to look at him. I’m really sorry.. I just- I don’t want to throw him out in case he’s actually still alive.”

I felt bad for Trevor. He really thought the best idea was to leave his lizard with a guy who planned to just throw it out if it was dead? No send off? No calling to at least let Trevor see it one last time before throwing it in the back yard for the vultures?

I could understand Jamie’s thought process on it a little. Many people saw lizards and reptiles as pets, but I personally did not. I didn’t mind Drago, though he did creep me out a little. But the idea of crying over a dead lizard didn’t exactly strike me as compelling. Or something you’d see in a sad movie.

Still, if it mattered to Trevor, I’d hate to just throw it out.

“Can you wait five minutes?” I gave in eventually, unsure if the sound of Jamie’s voice or the worry about Trevor’s abnormal pet was what pushed me to give in.

“I can wait, yeah.. what do you think I should do? Do I take him out or.. turn up the heat lamp? He feels really cold. I can hold him in front of the heater…”

I listened to Jamie’s rambling, holding my breath in frustration until I could finally get a word in. “Jamie! Jamie.. don’t- don’t touch the lizard. Okay? Just.. go do something else and wait for me to get there.”

“Yeah.. yeah okay.” I bid the poor boy goodbye before hanging up the phone and getting dressed to make the short drive to Jamie and Trevor’s. How hard was it to keep a lizard alive?

Once I got to their home, I landed a few gentle knocks on the door. Jamie opened it like he’d been standing there waiting, and he looked like a mother who had been handling a crying baby all night. I pray for him, the day he gets his own home.

“He’s this way.” Jamie grabbed my hand, dragging me inside and shutting the door before pulling me through the house and up the steps, eventually into Trevor’s room. It was pitch black except for the heat lamp on in the corner on Trevor’s desk.

I searched for the light switch before flipping the room light on.

“Wait! Trevor said he likes the dark.” Jamie reached to turn the light back out, but I pulled my hand from his own to shove the reaching hand away.

“He doesn’t have a preference if he’s dead.” I argued, watching the way Jamie’s face fell with worry. I panicked. “Well- well he might not be.” I rested a hand on his back before Jamie led me over to the tank. We both leaned forward, hands on our knees, peering into the side of the tank at the unmoving creature, laid out on a tiny log.

“So?” Jamie asked, our eyes both searching for a single inch of movement.

“Looks pretty dead to me.”

Jamie drew out another one of those long, ‘oh my god’s’ of disbelief, standing upright as his hands flew to hold the back of his head.

“Trevor‘s gonna kill me!” I quickly turned to look at Jamie, my brow furrowing in concern. The lizard, I didn’t have much feeling for. But Jamie? Poor Jamie. And Trevor would be upset. Devastated.

“No he won’t! Well just..” god I hated to pull something so stupid. “We’ll go buy a new one.” I could tell Jamie didn’t like the idea much either.

“Tomorrow.. okay? We’ll take a few photos of him, go to the pet store, and find the one that looks closest to him. Trevor will never know.” At least I hoped.

“But that feels wrong,” Jamie reasoned. At this point, I worried more about their friendship, and Trevor’s feelings, than the lizard.

“It’s a lizard, Jame. You can’t pet or cuddle a lizard.. or hold it or walk it. It sits in a tank and you stare at it.”

“No. No Trevor always let it sit on his shoulders, or curl up in his sweatshirt hoods. He would play video games with it- and he let Drago pick movies on movie nights sometimes!” Which was always Godzilla. But Jamie never minded. They both loved Godzilla.

“He let that thing out of the tank?” I was horrified at the concept, but Jamie nodded to solidify his previous statements. Something about Trevor cuddling a lizard seemed so gross and yet so normal for him.

“Well then.. okay so..” I placed my hands on my hips, watching as Jamie dropped to sit on the foot of Trevor’s bed. “Okay.. we��ll get the new one, and just.. condition him to do all the things Drago did with Trevor.”

What was I even talking about? We were going to train a lizard?

Jamie still didn’t look all too convinced, but he gave in nonetheless.

“I’ll call you in the morning, J.” I turned to leave the room, but Jamie quickly stood up and slipped around me to block the doorway.

“Wait.. don’t go.” I could tell he was still anxious.

“I want to sleep in a bed, Jamie. And in clothes that aren’t jeans.”

“You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take Trevor’s.. and I’ll grab you something. I just.. it sucks being alone..” the sound in his voice I didn’t recognize. Sadness? I thought Jamie had been fine with a little independence, but perhaps I should have reached out a bit more.

“Fine. But I want one of your fluffy sweaters.” Jamie’s face lit up, nodding and quickly disappearing down the hall. I followed close behind, stepping into the doorway of his room and waiting patiently as he pulled out a pair of gym shorts and one of his sweaters. I’d look like Adam Sandler, but as long as it was comfortable, I’d sleep in anything. Jamie turned to hand me the clothing, smiling at me all the while, but the admiration on my face slowly shifted into realization.

I didn’t want Jamie sleeping in the same room as the lizard he killed. He’d keep himself up.

“Jame. Why don’t you sleep in your bed? It’s big enough for the both of us.” He seemed to hesitate, searching my face for discomfort before nodding. He was already dressed for bed, in his own shorts and an old Ducks shirt, but he stepped out of his room to give me the space I needed to change, shutting the door behind himself.

Jamie and I had fallen asleep together before. We were a touchy pair. But never had we really slept together in a bed. I slipped my clothes off and folded them up, placing everything on the top of Jamie’s dresser. I considered leaving my bra on before deciding against it, slipping that off as well and tossing it on top of my clothing before I slipped into Jamie’s huge sweater and the shorts he gave me. I pulled at the strings and tied them as tightly as I could around my waist.

I definitely looked like I was about to go beat my old rivals on the basketball court. Or become a wedding singer. Or hey, maybe even get my high school diploma and play college football. I giggled at the sight of myself, rolling my eyes. The sweater smelled amazing, but then again.. Jamie always smelled amazing.

“Alright, you can come in.” Jamie was quick to open the door and slip inside, pushing it shut behind himself. A gesture I would have found concerning if this wasn’t someone I was so close to. I assumed it was only a habit he had, shutting his door before going to bed at night.

Jamie’s eyes looked over my body, and it seemed he found my appearance as amusing as I did.

“You look funny.” I rolled my eyes at him before making my way over to his bed.

“Another comment on my clothes and I’ll suffocate you with your own duvet, Drysdale.” I muttered, hearing him laugh. Jamie found his way around to the other side of the bed. I paid no mind to the fact that I was technically on his side, where his nightstand was with his chargers and such. He didn’t seem to mind anyway.

“I usually listen to music when I sleep.. do you mind?” His voice made me shake my head as I laid down.

“Go for it.” I rolled onto my side and watched as he pulled his phone out and pressed play on some playlist, setting his phone down on the empty nightstand on his new side for the night.

Jamie pulled the covers back and laid down in the empty space, placing his hands one on top of the other on his pillow before resting his head on them. He looked like a little girl ready to share secrets with her bestie. And that excited smile on his face only solidified the look. It was like we didn’t have a dead lizard in the other room at all. The smile didn’t remain though. The silence let both of our minds wander, and I watched concern overtake Jamie’s features again. His gaze dropped to the sheets, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Do you think Trevor’s gonna be mad?” His voice broke our comfortable silence as he moved a hand from beneath his head to rub the fabric of the shirt I wore between his fingers.

“Go to bed, Jamie.” I spoke softly, encouraging him to relax, batting his hand away and turning onto my back. I heard him sigh, but I didn’t look at him any more. Truth is, if Trevor found out, I didn’t know how he’d feel.

We both fell asleep at some point, I’m not sure when, but I knew he was out before I was, because the sound of his snoring was certainly a surprise to me. I’d never heard him snore, and I never expected it to be so amusing either.

——————

When I woke up, I felt the weight of a hand holding the fabric of the sweater on my back. At some point in the night, I had rolled onto my side, and it seemed Jamie had gotten ahold of me. I was careful shaking his hand off before I turned to look at him, on his own back, one arm draped over his stomach while the other laid on the bed beside me.

I rubbed at my eyes and slowly sat up, yawning and stretching. The lizard was an awful reminder of what we had in store for us today. I almost didn’t want to wake Jamie up to have to burden him with his own mistakes, but I wasn’t going to let him lay around while I replaced Drago.

“Jamie…” I whispered in a sing-song tone, grabbing his hand and lifting his knuckles to my lips. I pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, smiling at the way his head turned and his dark hair fell over his eyes.

“Jame,” I dropped his hand to the bed and poked at his side a few times before finding a spot that tickled. He giggled, his eyelids squeezing before they fluttered open. A happy morning Jamie was a good morning Jamie. It brought a smile to my lips while I gave him time to wake up both physically and mentally.

“We have to get into PetSmart.”

That didn’t seem to make Jamie happy, but I wanted to get the stress out of the way early so we wouldn’t dwell on it all day.

The two of us did our own thing getting ready, and I allowed Jamie time in the bathroom to fix his hair while I went to take photos of the lizard- in the same spot as before. By the time I was done, Jamie was standing in the doorway of Trevor’s room, in a crewneck and a pair of jeans, holding his car keys with pursed lips.

——————

“Okay.. it has to have these dark scales down the sides of its head.. right here,” I tried to show Jamie the phone despite the fact that he was driving. He spared it a halfhearted glance before looking back at the road.

“They all look.. sorta similar.. right?” Jamie’s question made me stop to think.

“Yeah… I guess they probably do.”

What made me worry though, was that Trevor probably knew every single scale on that thing from the way Jamie described his relationship with the lizard.

Once we found a place to park at the PetSmart, Jamie and I were quick to get ourselves inside, both uncertain of where to go, but the woman at the cash register helped with a kind smile.

“What are we looking for today?” She stepped out from her small area after she finished checking someone out.

“A bearded dragon?”

My question seemed to catch her off guard.

“Wasn’t expecting that. Usually young couples come in here wanting to adopt one of our cats.”

Jamie’s face went red before mine did, but neither of us knew what to say.

“Come on. They’re this way.” She turned to walk down the isles, and we followed suit. She stopped by the reptiles, taking her time examining the small tag outside each tank, until she found the bearded dragons. “Here they are.”

Jamie and I spent a good half an hour examining all the little creatures before we found one we decided was the best fitting option. Then we paid and took it home. One task out of the way.

Jamie didn’t want to hold it at first, or even touch it, but I insisted it was his job because he was always around when Trevor played with it. I swear I saw him go pale the first time he grabbed it.

Everything seemed to be going decently until Jamie got a call from Trevor, his fellow Duck explaining that he’d gotten some kind of sinus infection and the physician wouldn’t let him play. That he’d just gotten off of his flight home, and he couldn’t wait to sleep in his own bed.

Jamie and I began to panic at that point. Because it meant Trevor would be home within the next few minutes.

“Just put it in the cage!” Jamie shoved the lizard into my hands, and I gagged at the feeling.

“Jamie!” I scolded, but he was already rushing down the hall, and I had to helplessly follow with the scaly creature.

“What do we do with the old one?” When I entered Trevor’s room, my eyes landed on the dead lizard. I wondered if it was normal for a lizard not to decompose or even stink after two days of being.. well.. dead.

“Can we throw it in the back yard?” I hated suggesting doing something so terrible to an animal Trevor loved, even if I didn’t like the creature.

“What if he sees it? Or steps on it?” Both of us grimaced at the thought.

Then the front door opened.

“Holy shit.” I panicked.. the lizard in my hand began to crawl up my arm. “Jamie!” I practically shouted. He quickly reached out to grab it.

“Jimmy.. bud?” Trevor called as he walked down the hall, concerned at the sound of my yelling.

Jamie acted on impulse, cracking the top of the tank open and dropping the lizard in before he shut it.

We left the dead one.

Trevor quickly stepped into his bedroom, eyeing the sight of both of us standing around, acting as if nothing had happened.

I watched his brow raise. I took a step closer to my preferred Duck, and he rested a hand on my shoulder.

“You guys doing something in here?” His tone took on a natural suspicious sound, along with the congested one.

I looked up at Jamie, and Jamie looked down at me. “No?” I tried. “We were just-“

“I came to feed Drago.. she just wanted to see him.” Jamie blurted out, a nervous smile forming on his lips. Did he always look that awkward when he was lying? I never would have suggested buying a new lizard if I knew he was shit at telling a tale.

“Did you guys do something to him?” Trevor quickly dropped his bag, walking over to the tank. His voice sounded miserable, scratchy and nasally. “Dude.. those antibiotics must be crazy.. I’m seeing double.”

Trevor popped the top off the tank, reaching in to gently touch the dead lizard before he attempted to poke the other. He came to the quick realization that they were both real. “Did my lizard have a baby? What the hell?” He seemed absolutely confused, but Jamie and I weren’t planning on saying anything if Trevor really believed Drago had a kid.

“Yo, I thought Drago was a boy..” Trevor reached for his dead lizard, picking it up and resting it in the palm of his hand. I was horrified when I saw its eyes open.

“Uh no way!” I stepped back into Jamie. “That thing was-“ the taller immediately clasped a hand over my mouth, only pulling it down when he knew I’d be silent.

“Just started hibernating, I know.. the lady I spoke to said they can sleep for days and weeks at a time at the beginning.” Trevor smiled, resting Drago on his shoulder. “Guess he.. or.. she must have been exhausted after laying an egg.” He paused, “don’t reptiles lay multiple though?”

“I didn’t know what to do with them.. I didn’t figure you wanted a bunch of baby lizards so.. so I took them out.” Trevor only shrugged and nodded at Jamie’s words. He probably wouldn’t have wanted a bunch of tiny lizards.

“I missed one I guess.. thought I’d surprise you.”

Did he really not understand the mating process? Did Trevor just assume his lizard had a tiny Jesus lizard? Did I even want to ask and risk us getting caught?

“Guess Drago’s a Dragonita.. huh?”

Pure disappointment flashed across my face. Who made him pull out of basic science in high school? Which teacher failed him? Which teacher did he fail?

Now I understood why nobody on the Ducks thought Trevor was ready for a dog.

“I’m going home.” I shook my head, holding my hands up in mock surrender. I was losing brain cells being a part of this conversation.

“You don’t wanna hold DJ?” Trevor asked as I had gotten to his bedroom door. I just had to turn and ask what he meant.

“DJ?”

“Drago Junior.” Trevor beamed with pride, like a new dad. I wanted so badly to tell him that his bearded dragon was not a woman, and that she did not have eggs, and that the new lizard was store bought. But when I looked back at Jamie, I simply sighed at the relief on his face. I couldn’t out him. I couldn’t tell Trevor we planned on just replacing the little guy.

“I don’t like lizards.” It was supposed to be an excuse not to hold it. And it was the truth, but it contradicted with what Jamie told Trevor when he first got home.

“What do you mean? You were in here ‘cause you wanted to see them!” Trevor smiled and sniffed. I don’t know how anyone can have so much energy when they have a sinus infection. Trevor always defied all odds.

Jamie’s pleading eyes made me give in and hold my hands out.

“Hell yeah. DJ’s gonna love you.”

DJ did love me. But I did not love DJ. My entire morning was spent trying to fix this whole mess, only to come to the realization that a Google search would have fixed it. I went the rest of the evening curled up on the couch against Jamie, with a stupid lizard hanging off my chest, watching Godzilla. I made a silent promise to myself that I would never again help Jamie with lizard troubles.

✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾

#jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale imagine #nico hischier #trevor zegras #nhl imagine #jack hughes #quinn hughes #nhl x reader #nhl hockey

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bunnyydearest · 1 year ago

Text

A Dream with a Quidditch Player

pairing: James Potter x Reader

wc: 2.27k

genre; fluff, getting together

warnings: swearing but not a lot

summary: The closest that Reader has been to James is in her dreams, that all changes when one day they make eye contact in the Great Hall and he smiles at her.

a/n: This was inspired by the songs 'A Dream with a Baseball Player' by Faye Webster and 'James' by Laufey! Sorry if there are any errors, enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

“I saw him in my dream last night Veronica!” I groan, my forehead banging against the table as I bang my head against the hard cold wood. Veronica just snickered, continuing to work on her essay, not paying any mind to me. “That’s literally the closest to him I’ve ever been!”

“That’s kind of sad.” She giggles, still refusing to look up from her work, “while it’s absolutely hilarious to listen to you complain about your tragic love life, I would appreciate it if you could keep it down so I can get my work done.”

I huff reluctantly, picking my head back up before slumping in my chair and crossing my arms as I pout, no doubt looking quite childish.

“You don’t get it Veronica! I’ve spent months staring at him across the hall! He has the softest looking dark hair and these cute glasses, he’s perfect overall!” I don’t listen to her, continuing to complain and she just let’s out another amused sound.

“How about you just try talking to him?” She suggests, finally putting down her quill and focusing her attention on me. I scrunch up my nose, shaking my head.

“No way. He is way too popular to ever even notice me, let alone talk to me.” I just sigh, staring off into the distance as Veronica gets back to her work.

I’ve liked James Potter ever since the start of my 6th year, which is not that long considering we just started our 6th year a couple months ago. I think I’ve wasted more hours, maybe even days then I can count dreaming about him but there was no way I would ever actually approach him, he was always surrounded by his friends who were always laughing and up to no good. I appreciated his sense of humor though, I found it quite enjoyable.

Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I just made eye contact with him. I mean, I should’ve expected it considering I kept staring at him, especially in the Great Hall. Oh my gosh. Is he smiling at me? What I didn’t see after I turned around was Sirius Black giving a knowing smirk to James and patting him on the back before pushing him slightly in my direction. I grab onto the person closest to me, which happened to be Veronica as I nearly tumbled out of my chair.

“Veronica, he smiled at me!” I whisper-shout, a grin on my face as I steady myself and shake her arm in excitement.

“Yeah, and he’s also coming over here.” My eyes shoot up to her face where a smirk was present and her eyes were glued to something, or someone behind me. I panic slightly, immediately turning around and coming face to face with James himself.

“Hey, I’m James- I’ve… I’ve seen you around and I’ve always thought you were cute,” He said with a smile, his hands adjusting his glasses, pushing them further up his nose slightly, “I was wondering if you would like to go with me to Hogsmeade next Hogsmeade weekend?” His hair looked unkempt and I just wanted to take my hands and run them through his hair. I snap out of my daze and internally scold myself before forcing myself to look at him and giving him a smile,

“Hi! I’m Nita.” My voice was so shaky, this is so embarrassing, I wanted to run and hide, maybe even flee the country. James just laughed and I swear my heart almost stopped, how can someone make laughing sound so heavenly? He gave me a slightly awkward smile before speaking again,

“I know who you are Nita, I asked if you would come with me to Hogsmeade.” I blushed out of embarrassment, wanting the earth to just open up and swallow me whole.

“I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t hear that part I must of zoned out. Y-yes of course!” I mentally high fived myself, feeling so giddy and wanting to burst into a pile of confetti.

“Great! I’ll see you soon, yeah?” James gave me a dopey grin before (speed) walking off to his friends to tell them the good news and I turned to Veronica, grabbing her arm and shaking it excitedly, the biggest smile on my face.

“Did you hear that?! I’m going to go to Hogsmeade with James bloody Potter! Star quidditch chaser! Popular Potter!” Veronica just laughs, nodding her head and patting me on the back, congratulating me.

A similar scene was occurring at the Gryffindor table as James slid back into his seat. “So? How’d it go?” Siris wasted no time in asking his best friend, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“She said yes!” James exclaimed, almost squealing as his friends all started to congratulate him, the big dopey smile he had while he was talking to me still on his face.

“About time mate, you’ve been pining after her since last year.” Sirius laughed at his friend, a blush clearly forming on James’ face, “you totally could’ve done what you did for Lily in our 4th year and ran after her like a lost puppy and you would’ve gotten her faster.”

“Well how things ended with Lily I think I would rather just keep my feelings more hidden now. Plus, she’s way out of my league I don’t know why she agreed, I’m just happy she did.”

His voice was slightly quieter than before, nothing unusual to the normal person but Sirius wasn’t just any person, he was James’ best friend and he had been there firsthand to witness how Lily’s constant rejections of James’ affection affected him. After spending a whole year chasing after Lily only for James to see her out at Hogsmeade getting cozy with another guy, James had become less confident in himself and it was clear as day to his friends. He stopped trying to pursue Lily and was no longer as vocal about the people he was interested in.

“Margot?” I say in the sweetest voice I can muster, batting my eyelashes coyly and smiling innocently at my dorm mate, who just rolled her eyes at me, causing me to scoff,

“PLEASE! You know how terrible I am with my hair.” I pout, shuffling myself closer to her. We were sat on her bed, me whining while she was flipping through a copy of the Witches Weekly.

“Fine! But only because I know you won’t stop annoying me until I agree.” She finally agreed, sounding exasperated, tossing her magazine off to the side and motioning for me to hand her the hairbrush and some hair ties.

“Hey! I don’t annoy you, I persuade you.” I say smugly, handing her said things before positioning myself so she could do my hair more easily. She easily glided the hairbrush through my hair, brushing it a couple of times before parting it into two section and beginning to braid one.

“So, you’re going on a date with Potter?” I almost giggle, I always almost giggle every time he is brought up, but I just can’t help it.

“Yup!” I confirm, popping the p. She finished up the first braid before moving onto the second one.

“That’s nice, have a good time, although I am a little concerned for you.” Margot admits, her lips forming a grimace.

“How so?” I furrow my brows, slightly confused by her words.

“Well, I just heard that he was totally obsessed and in love with Lily Evans in the 4th year and he would run around chasing after her.”

“So?”

“If that’s how he acts when he has a crush on someone, how come he didn’t act like that for you?” Margots question did make some sense, we had never really spoken before he asked me out, only the occasional ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, you’ve never really had a boyfriend or anything before.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure he wouldn’t ask me on a date if he didn’t mean it, his way of expressing his affection has probably just changed, plus that was two years ago.” I try to reassure her, I know she just wants the best for him and I did see where her concern was coming from. She nods her head, finishing off the braid with a rubber band and tying some ribbon on as a finishing touch.

“All done! Now go get changed, he’ll be here to pick you up at any moment now.” She ushered me into the bathroom where I had put the clothes I would be wearing in earlier in the morning. I quickly got changed before slipping on a pair of comfortable yet stylish shoes and walking out of the bathroom, giving both Veronica and Margot a little twirl. They grinned, giving me a thumbs up and showering me with compliments before ushering me out.

“James?” I say nervously, his back was turned away from me, talking to one of his friends. We had been hanging out together in the days leading up to the Hogsmeade trip and had agreed to meet each other in front of the Great Hall.

He turned around, a big grin on hist face as he engulfs me in a hug as a greeting. “Hello to you too.” I say, my voice being muffled in his chest. He just gave me an apologetic smile as he pulled away, saying bye to his friend which I recognize as Remus before offering his hand to me.

“Ready to go?” He asks, interlocking his fingers in mine as I put my hand in his, I giggle, nodding and we began walking towards the carriages that would take us to Hogsmeade. The walk was filled with chatter and laughter, I just felt so at home with him, there was none of that feeling of needing to hide myself as to not be judged. He was so welcoming and warm it was hard to find a reason to not like him.

As we got on the carriage, Margot’s comments popped back up in my head, making me feel slightly more conscious and worried, subconsciously comparing myself to Lily. I decided that if I was going to considering getting in a relationship with James then I should do my best to communicate.

“Hey James, um, I’m just wondering but in fourth year you liked Lily Evans, right?” I ask nervously, fidgeting with my hands. “Yeah, why?”

“It’s just, I heard you spent all of fourth year chasing after her, I just wondered what happened and how come you didn’t do that for me- not complaining! I wouldn’t really appreciate all that attention on me.” It was silent for a bit before he sighed, replying in a sadder tone, “I… saw her at Hogsmeade with some other guy and that left me pretty down, ever since that I guess I’ve just been less vocal about my crushes as to not get hurt like that again.” His eyes were glued to his shoes but his voice picks up, sounding more upbeat, “but I don’t like her at all anymore, trust me, I like you just as much if not more than her,”

“Thank you for telling me James.” I say softly, smiling and giving his hand a squeeze.

The carriage comes to a stop, James getting out first before extending his hand up for me to take, helping me out of the carriage as I giggled, “What a prince charming.”

“Only the best for a princess.” He grins playfully at me, continuing to hold my hand as we made our way through Hogsmeade.

Our day was spent with nothing but laughter and smiles, secretly stolen glances and rosy red cheeks from time to time. On quite a few occasions I caught him admiring me, leading me to teasing him, chuckling every time I see him blush. At the end of the trip, he walked me back to my common room. We stopped right in front of it, facing each other and holding hands, me having to tilt my head slightly up to look at him. There was so much tension I felt like I was going to burst. I just wanted to lean up a little bit more and press my lips against his.

I see his eyes flicker down to my lips before coming back up to look at me in the eyes again, I smile, going on my tip toes and pecking his lips quickly. James stood there in shock for a moment before coming back to his senses, a grin spreading on his face. He refused to let go, his hands going to my waist to pull my closer. This time it was him leaning down, softly kissing me. I kiss back, just as softly as him, his lips were soft yet chapped and he tasted like chocolates, I couldn’t get enough of it. After a while he pulls back, leaving me to chase the comforting feeling of his lips.

“I had a lot of fun today.”

“Me too.”

Silence. It was slightly awkward, neither of us wanting to leave but unsure of what to talk about to get the other to stay. “So, does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” He asks with a nervous smile.

“Depends, have you asked me to be your girlfriend yet?” I answer, tilting my head in question, a cheeky smile sneaking it’s way onto my features.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to.” He grins now, giving me another kiss before asking the question I’ve been waiting to hear.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Absolutely.”

#hp fanfic #james potter #james potter x reader #fluff #harry potter fanfiction #james potter x y/n #james potter fanfiction

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