#ninety five gang

[annabelle--cane]

okay. collection of disparate thoughts on the good hal/bad hal thing:

-> I get, mechanically, why they went for it as a creative decision. I can buy the hal we see in the cutler flashbacks and the hal we see in the present day as being the same person because they're separated by sixty years, people change with time, but clearly what they wanted was for hal to go full villain mode in the last episode, and simply making him have a breakdown and do a heel turn on his personality wouldn't make sense. and like, last episode evil!hal is really fun, he's a smug villain who does dance numbers and is blunt enough to deliver the show's thesis as parting wisdom, I see the reasoning.

-> but I'm not sure how much of that was planned from hal's introduction? he says things like "I've been so many people" and "you've got the wrong man, I'm not him anymore," but it always reads as more metaphorical until s5. hal always says "me" when referring to his Evil Self, up until the middle of s5 where he starts saying "him."

-> and because (in my opinion) this element was added for a mechanical function, it overwrites thematic ground we've already covered before. when george split his monstrosity off from himself and called the wolf "it," that was a problem he had to overcome; when mitchell tried to deny his own agency and say he wasn't in control when he hurt people, that was a flaw that got corrected. then in hal's case they flip the script and say it really isn't him who does the atrocities. they try to work around it a bit, having good!hal kill someone and feed in secret so he does have things he's responsible for that lead into the change, but it still feels weird.

-> I also get where this comes from, metaphorically. there is a trend in sci fi/fantasy of portraying addict characters with this sort of jekyll-and-hyde dualism, literalizing internal struggles and the way people change while under the influence of mood altering substances, you find shades of it as far back as medieval morality plays where an everyman's vices and virtues manifest into physical form to duke it out. I don't love it, but I see where the emotional core of it comes from, and I also think it works best when (like with jekyll and hyde) the story comes to the conclusion that the two aspects aren't ultimately different people, and that's not really what they do with hal. unless...

-> how different are good hal and bad hal, anyway? obviously their moral codes are different, but are they different people or two aspects of the same person? bad hal isn't a neat freak, but he shares good hal's passion for vintage showtunes and werewolves who visibly want to do him harm. he's genuinely distraught when lady catherine dies, he keeps up appearances with lady mary for 250 years, young leo gets right under his skin, and he was willing to let let tom and alex have a nice send off from him. and, as should probably go without saying, good hal can also be a bastard, too. he almost attacks people several times, he says awful things to tom, he recruits ian and hides it, he kills larry and hides it, he feeds and hides it even when directly asked, etc. if the show had had one more season, I think the obvious next step for this arc would be bad hal joining the gang and everyone realizing that he's still just hal. this isn't a stranger, their friend hasn't died, this is the same man they've been living with for months and he still thinks the lute is the coolest of all medieval stringed instruments. the only real difference is that now he's decided to stop trying, but he's perfectly capable of changing his mind back.

-> what actually is his deal? what, specifically, is the good hal/bad hal thing? other vampires don't do that, other old ones aren't like that, the closest another character comes is herrick's whole amnesia arc but that was because he came back from the dead. I've seen other people go through and track how hal does actually show a good number of symptoms of a dissociative disorder (traumatic early childhood, out-of-body experiences, some amount of amnesia, etc.), but given that he says he feels like "both" and "neither" of himself when the devil tricks them all into thinking they've been un-cursed, I think we're supposed to read it as something supernatural. the best headcanon I've got is it is a dissociative disorder but hal thinks it's supernatural so the devil took it away as part of the whole too-good-to-be-true thing, but I don't think that was the intention and the show leaves it super unclear, they just drop it in and expect us to roll with it.

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my February 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Remember Me Fondly by kiddle / @bluejeanlouis (73k)

“You’ve told the beginning of the story so many times. I want to hear the end.”Louis laughed, scratching at his chin. “I can’t say I really know when the end happened.”“How about the tour of ninety-five?”“Alright.” Louis took a deep breath. “But it took a few steps to get there. What would you like to know?”Penny cleared her throat.“How did you first meet Harry Styles?” Grunge legends Fearless Doe topped the rock charts in the ‘90s, but they spent the decade kicking Smudge off their heels. From lawsuits to jaw-dropping scandals and a surprising joint world tour, the two bands share a complicated history.

Twenty-five years later, frontmen Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are finally ready to sit down and tell the world their two sides of the same story.

Truth may vary.

I Would Know You From Touch Alone by staybeautiful / @harruandlou (72k)

They had never been face to face before now. They’d never touched, skin to skin, until Harry landed a punch to his face, high on his cheekbone.

Louis shoved him off and was pulling his fist back from Harry’s abdomen before he realized his face wasn’t tingling because of the pain.

It pooled out from his cheek, over his face, down his neck and spine. A shiver in the late September night. Heat, sparks - whatever you wanted to fucking call it.

or The Tomlinson and Cox gangs have hated each other for over forty years. Harry Styles, the grandson of Gritty Cox, was freshly back to the city after uni when, on his first night out, he punched the Tomlinson heir in the face. It shouldn’t have mattered, their gangs have done worse to each other. But all it took was one single touch to recognize your soulmate. Louis was adamant that being soulmates changed nothing, not who they were or which family they were loyal to. Or, at least, it shouldn’t have.

A Yuzu Grows in Brooklyn by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci (66k)

Harry is a recent implant in new york and a young chef opening a restaurant called yuzu. louis, a music teacher and broadway lover, has been around the block for a while. in a city that's so fast-paced, they're slow to catch on to each other.

Ferricadooza! by suspendrs / @suspendrs (65k)

Harry can’t even fathom the idea of surrendering; he’d fight ‘til he died, if he had to, anything to keep from surrendering.

Or, the year is 1963, homosexuality is illegal in the UK, Louis owns a gay bar, and Harry’s an underground boxing champion with an unfortunate enemy.

The Recklessness in Water by LarryOn (50k)

Louis Tomlinson is miserable. He's stuck on a family vacation at a lake cabin in New Hampshire when all he wants to do is bemoan his sorry existence and wallow in his sweatpants. As if the humidity and mosquitos weren't bad enough, he becomes the singular target of an obnoxious lifeguard named Harry.

Passing By by Larry_you_know / @larryyouknow (48k)

Sometimes, people are in each other's lives just for the briefest of moments. They meet and then go their separate ways because being vulnerable is scary and it might be easier to not let anybody else in. But some people aren’t meant to be just passing by. Maybe when they open their eyes, they can learn things about themselves they haven’t known before. If they let their hearts speak they will find a way to be together.

Or the one where Harry doesn't even know he's into guys until he meets Louis on a boat trip. There's something more to their friendship but it ain't gonna be smooth sailing.

Rivers 'Til i Reach You by embodied (29k)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer.   AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

You Promised Forever by indierection (amandamoraisa) (21k)

[Harry wants a baby. Louis wanted a baby. Now he's not so sure.]

Of course they've always wanted to have kids, even as young as they were in 2012. But it's only ten years later, when they've been married for already three and One Direction is no longer together, that Harry and Louis will finally get to start their own family. Or at least that's what they thought, because Louis suddenly feels the pressure of fatherhood on his shoulders as he realizes he has to be responsible for another human being; and if that's not terrifying he doesn't know what it is. He is, in fact, having these sudden panic attacks when he thinks too much about the future. Yet, Louis just sucks it up because he's losing his mind, but Harry has already to much on his. Besides, in the end they are fireproof. Aren't they?

The Sunshine Stays by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird (15k)

It's three years after One Direction got back together, and Harry and Louis have just come off a world tour. They're enjoying a much more relaxed schedule the second time around, allowing themselves to bask in married life. Until, one day, Louis surprises Harry on vacation, and there are some surprising consequences.

[stardestroyer81]

🥪 Introducing... Door2Door! 🥪

Door2Door stars twenty year old possum Gigi Dempster, who lives in a rather ramshackle, podunk town in Vermont called Bendersville. After sending numerous job applications all over town with no word back, she finally lands herself a delivery driver position at an unassuming locally-owned sandwich restaurant named Dine 'n Dash. With no prior experience in the art of crafting a mighty fine sandwich or running a delivery route, Gigi is strapped in to experience the whirlwind of a first time food service job firsthand, and in an unpredictable town like Bendersville, quite literally anything can happen.

(For more information on what Door2Door is— as well as a handful of progress images— please consider checking underneath the cut!)

At last, witness unveiling of my latest project I've spent the last month conceptualizing, Door2Door! What once came about as a silly idea of basing a project after an inner-city delivery driver inspired after a certain gameplay section in Spongebob Squarepants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, it has since blossomed into one of my dearest passion projects yet!

Though, before I get into any further detail behind Door2Door and its creation, I must stress— none of the above five images hail from a lost late nineties/early 2000s Cartoon Network show, and if by chance any of them were enough to fool you into thinking they were, then that just means I achieved what I set out for! 💙✨

Now, about a month ago, I'd been watching a retrospective on the critically un-acclaimed Spongebob Squarepants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, a game I had growing up. It's important for me to mention that I had seen and personally played the aforementioned gameplay section before, though for some reason seeing it again struck me with a brilliant project idea.

Anyone who's been following me for at least a year knows that I've designed a cavalcade of candied characters for my own arcade game concept, Rascal, and initially my idea for Door2Door— which I also called Project JJ (In reference to the sandwich chain Jimmy John's)— was to give it a plot simple enough to translate into an arcade game.

The idea was that you played as a plucky delivery driver who rides through the streets of a seedy city to deliver a food order to the... er, order-ee. But your progress would be impeded by a fiendish gang of mobster alley cats who are after your sandwiches, so there would have definitely been a large cartoony element to the gameplay loop.

I drew concept art for Door2Door's protagonist, then known as Marcy, though I really wasn't vibing with either drawing. For one, making the protagonist a cat seemed a bit overdone, and I already have a cat character who's name rhymes with Marcy, so that had to go. More so, I also couldn't settle on a good spriting style, which prompted me to rethink the whole project.

Well, there is a general aura of cartooniness to Door2Door, I thought, why not just embrace that vibe whole-heartedly and reshape the project into a long-lost late nineties cartoon?

I did like the idea of having an excuse to drawing more animation cels, though if I was going to make Door2Door into something resembling a cel-animated cartoon, I was prepared to go the full distance in nailing that aesthetic, in the form of how characters are designed and the way I go about drawing each screenshot.

For those unfamiliar with cel animation, essentially it can be described as a traditional form of animation and involves objects— usually characters— being hand-inked and painted on clear celluloid sheets and placed over painted backgrounds.

Above, I've provided a visual for what a standalone 'cel' from Door2Door would look like, coupled with a hand-painted background. When overlaid on top of one another...

... you would get this! This is exactly how cartoons were animated up until the era of digital inking and coloring... but that begs the question. How am I achieving a hand-drawn and painted aesthetic if everything I've shown so far has been drawn digitally?

I have my ways! It involves a lot of studying how individual cels of animation look, and taking note of recurring hallmarks; grainy textures, paint blemishes, drop shadows, etc. Above, I've assembled a small gif of my process in composing a screenshot for Door2Door, from lineart to final product!

So, that all should loosely explain it; Door2Door is what would happen if I were in charge of a late nineties Cartoon Network show, and what you've seen here is merely the beginning. Going forward, I will be posting art of Door2Door's main cast with some additional character information and concept art for each one, though for the time being, enjoy all five art pieces I've supplied for this post— they are perhaps the biggest works of mine yet this year! 💙🏳️‍⚧️✨

[lively-potter]

— nepenthe ; jjk ; part two

— genre ; age gap, angst, fluff, smut, sheltered oc, ceo jungkook, mafia/gang vibes ( kinda/sorta )

— warnings ; please note that in the beginning, the oc is in an abusive home — and if this triggers you please do not read. the oc is of age but nothing smutty will be happening for a while — but there WILL be smut. A small bit of SA is in this chapter and if it tiggers you, don’t read.

— intro, part one

— 2024 © @LivelyPotter

— find me on Wattpad ; LivelyPotter

— taglist ; @ahgasegotarmy116 @jk97bam

— word count ; 2.2k

***

SOLARIS January 20th, 2024 Charleston, SC

THE NAME SENT TREMBLES OF FEAR DOWN MY SPINE.

"Chairman Jeon?" my words cut off in a whimper at the reminder of the man everyone was frightened of. It was no secret to everyone how influential Chairman or Mister Jeon was and how much power he held by being the Chairman and owner of most of the multi-billion dollar companies in the United States and South Korea; the country he was originally from.

He even owned a Gentlemen's club here, called Ataraxia, in Charleston that Father visits more often than he ought — when the Chairman allows other people in the private club one another month.

I bit down on my lip as more thoughts raced through my brain.

Chairman Jeon wasn't a man even the most courageous of people wanted to cross, and those who did were either found dead...or just disappeared into thin air. He was the kind of man parents threatened their children with when they wanted them to behave. He was the same man Father threatened me with when I wouldn't stop crying after Mama died. Chairman Jeon was the most powerful sort of man Charleston had ever seen. It was also rumored that he had strong ties to the Mafia.

A cold chill passed through me at the thought.

Most of the people who lived here were grateful he barely made appearances, since ninety-five percent of the population of Charleston worked for him.

It had been months since Chairman Jeon had been here – I reckoned he spent most of his time in Korea, where his permanent residence was.

"Go to your room, girl, and remember –" he cut himself off to glare heatedly at me, "this house had better be spotless. I won't have my friends visit a pig stye."

I jerkily nodded and without wasting a moment, I raced away from him and shot to my bedroom. The first thing I did was wrap myself in my blanket and huddle in the corner – it was something I did when I wanted to think clearly.

Picking at the skin on my lip, I hesitantly glanced out the window and sighed. This would be a nerve-wracking week.

A stuffed purple bunny sat on the edge of my bed – a stuffed animal five-year-old me lovingly named; Mr. Carrots – caused me to smile. I shivered slightly underneath my blanket, thanking god I was finally warming up – and snatched the bunny from my bed and snuggled close to its neck.

Mr. Carrots had been with me the majority of my life and he was one of the only pieces of Mama I had left.

He brought me peace and comfort when Mama couldn't. I was anxious for what the next few days would bring but I didn't have any other choice but to just let them play out the way God intended.

*** SOLARIS January 21st, 2024 Charleston, SC

THE NEXT DAY WAS MUCH BRIGHTER THAN THE LAST.

Father had left before I woke up, sniffling with the first signs of a cold. I wrapped myself in one of Father's old sweaters to keep myself warm.

Wrapping my arms around my tummy with a flinch, I knew I better pay attention when it came time for Father to come home. The last thing I needed was for him to catch me wearing his old clothes to keep me warm.

The only thing I had to do before I started taking overthink down and cleaning was to place a new bandaid on the gash on my wrist.

Doing that, quickly, stomach grumbling in hunger, I entered the kitchen with a longing glance out of the tiny window above the kitchen sink.

I had lost count of how many years it had been since I was allowed to go outside the house and explore. I reckoned it had been years. I hardly remembered what kind of places were outside but I did remember how much I loved walking through the woods with Mama, collecting pretty leaves and tiny pincones. I smiled and started to twist the ends of my hip-length hair. I still had those leaves tucked inside the old pages of one of my old storybooks that Mama used to read to me. The little pinecones were stashed inside my little trinket box, along with the little acorns – we only found those when we were lucky.

I carefully grabbed a knife from the drawer, and cut a small apple in half, and nibbled on it as I pulled long hair out of my face with a ribbon and prepared to start cleaning.

I hummed happily under my breath as I picked up the glass, scrapped knees aching but I paid it no mind.

Hours passed by in a blur and I thankfully got the entire house cleaned and dinner and snacks already presented on the table before I declared myself done.

A grin beamed across my lips as I trotted to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. My bare feet padded on the carpet as I neared the small window a foot from the floor and knelt in front of it. My hands cupped my jawline, eyes watching the sun set with a heavy heart. Tears pricked my eyes and I closed them and clasped my hands together in front of my heart and began to speak.

"Dear heavenly Father," I started off, eyes closed and head tilted towards the sky, "I thank for letting me wake up and experience another day on this earth. I thank you for keeping me safe today, and being by my side when no one else is. I ask that you please watch over Mama and let her know that I love her and can't wait to be reunited with her one day." a lone tear dripped down my cheek, "Please, dear Lord, bless me and keep me safe and continue to hold me within your arms. I know that you have a plan for me," I continued, knees shifting.

"God always has a plan, my little Solaris." Mama's voice rang inside my head. "No matter how rough life gets at times, just know that God will always be there for you and after those hard times are over...the rewards are immense and glorious."

"But please, I just want to not be afraid anymore." I sniffled, "I want the pain to stop." the tear slid down my head and dripped onto my clasped hands. "I thank you for hearing my prayer and I hope you'll answer me soon." a small smile crept upon my lips. "I guess that's all for now – oh! And could you please keep me safe tonight and when Chairman Jeon comes back, please? I'm sorry to ask so much of you, but you're the only one besides Mama that loves me and I know that you hear me when I pray...um, Thank you again! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

My soul lightened and my heart rate relaxed and then sped up when the noises of the front door opening. A little gasp escaped my lips and I smothered.

Don't be seen or heard, Solaris.

The voices of Father's terrifying friends had me balking in place, arms wrapping around myself to ground my trembling.

With shaky fingers, I peeled Father's sweater off my body and stuffed it underneath my bed — I'd have to sneak inside his room and put it back when he left.

I sat in the corner of my bedroom, knees pulled to my chest, and listened closely to what was happening in the living room.

The house was old and nearly falling apart, which meant the walls were thin. Pressing an ear to the wall, my eyes fluttered closed to focus. But I didn't have to listen long.

"Girl!"

Father's boom made me stand at full attention. I held my hands together to shield the shakiness from them and scurried from the room.

Soon enough, I was standing in front of Father and his friends. Two older men who gave me the creeps.

James and Stevie.

They eyed me like I was a piece of meat when they plopped down on the sofa and stroked along their bulging beer bellies.

My lips trembled, remembering their slimy touches along my legs and biceps the last time they came here.

"Get us beer."

I stood ramrod straight and nodded.

I left the living room without another word and withdrew three bottles of Modelo and opened them. Shockingly being able to juggle them in my arms, I hunched my shoulders and walked slowly back to the living room — heart thundering inside my chest.

When I returned, Father was gone and only James and Stevie were there. Their eyes latched onto me in a second and they exchanged looks.

My eyes glossed over when Stevie ran a hand through his greasy hair and mustache while licking his nearly invisible lips.

"W-Where's Father?" I asked, even hearing the unaltered fear in my croaking voice. I took hesitant steps near them and slowly handed them the beers in my hand.

It was James who answered.

"Bathroom, sweetcheeks."

I only nodded in return, internally cringing at the terrible name.

Slowly sighing in relief, I turned and placed Father's Modelo on the coffee table and stilled when I felt a hand land on my lower back.

Disgust welled in my gut as another hand landed on the exposed skin on the back of my knee and caressed my skin.

"Don't." I stiffened, terror locking my limbs. "Please." I shook my head, turning to face the men. Their faces were held in a lecherous glare as their unfocused eyes glazed over.

Stevie's hand tightened around my knee and tugged as James' hand fell from my lower back.

"Why don' you take a seat?" James asked, fingering a yellow patch on his skin, running a hand on his swollen face — probably due to high cholesterol.

"No thank you." I shook my head and mentally begged Father to come back. I felt black spots dance across my vision in a slow, swift motion.

I felt so faint.

Their touches on my body made me feel disgusted. Dirty.

Even though I hated showers because of my experience with them, all I wanted to do in this moment was go under the scalding spray and wash my skin raw in hopes I'd never remember the feeling of their hands on me. I was so scared.

"I'm tired." I tried to refuse, tugging myself further away from them.

Stevie's eyes sharpened at my blatant disregard of his desires and he locked his limbs, preparing to jump up from his seat.

A tear left my eye in relief as Father stomped into the room, loudly complaining of the PowerPoint slide they had to finish before Chairman Jeon came back.

Tomorrow.

"I swear," Father grunted, plopping down in his recliner and snatching the beer from the table. "Every time that damned man comes back — everyone freaks out."

I slowly started in his direction, body positioning behind his chair. I felt my body relax the tiniest bit being away from those two men.

Stevie took a glance at me before looking at Father, "No shit." He agreed with an eye roll.

"I just don't know what Chairman Jeon just don't stay the fuck in Korea. Where he and that gang of his belongs."

My head was hung towards the ground as I listened closely to them bashing the Chairman. Speaking of how he basically took over Charleston with little to no work.

I didn't know how much of that was true — but I also thought they were just jealous of his success. I was scared of the Chairman, but I can also give credit when credit is due.

"Go to your room, girl, and leave us." Father ordered without looking at me.

I stood at attention and jerkily nodded.

I scurried to my bedroom and locked the door behind me.

In just a few moments, I allowed myself to fall down onto the floor and claw at my skin in hopes that I would scratch away the memories.

Would tomorrow be a better day?

I prayed that it would be.

author's note ; ✨

if you want to be apart of my taglist, just let me know! thank you so much for reading! I appricate every single one of you <3

[mahayanapilgrim]

Vajrapani, the “Hand of Buddha” defeats the poisons : pride, anger, hate and jealousy

 Vajrapani’s name means, literally, “Indestructible Hand” — the Hand of the Buddha.  He is one of the three great Bodhisattvas, together with Avalokiteshvara (Chenrezig, Guanyin) and Manjushri, who respectively represent “power of Buddha,” Compassion of Buddha, and Wisdom of Buddha.

* Vajrapani is the “indestructible power of the Buddha” — helping us overcome the delusions, poisons and attachments that prevent our progress

* Avalokiteshvara is the “compassion of the Buddha” — helping us overcome ego and clinging, understanding our “Oneness” with all beings

* Manjushri is the “wisdom of the Buddha” — helping us discern truth, and overcome the illusions that keep us trapped.

All three are equals; all are needed on the path to Enlightenment. We must balance compassion, wisdom and the power (i.e. discipline, etc.) to overcome the poisons.

According to the Pañcaviṃsatisāhasrikā- and Aṣṭasāhasrikāprajñāpāramitās,  any Bodhisattva on the path can rely on Vajrapani’s protection.

The Three Great Bodhisattvas, from left to right: Manjushri (Wisdom of Buddha), Avalokiteshvara (Chenrezig, Compassion of Buddha), Vajrapani (Power of Buddha.)

Vajrapani manifests in our lives daily (hopefully.) Even that voice in our mind, telling us to get up and meditate — instead of watching television — is Vajrapani at work. (Buddha’s Hand slapping us up the back of the head, metaphorically.)  Or, that feeling of guilt when you walk past a homeless person without helping — that’s Vajrapani sternly reminding us to be compassionate. It is Vajrapani who cracks the metaphorical whip in his “hand” (not to beat a metaphor to death) — to keep us working on the foundation practices, to sit each day, or, to practice metta compassion meditation each day. He’s hovering over our head with the “huge iron club, flaming, ablaze and glowing.”

Wrathful Vajrapani surrounded by wisdom flames. In both wrathful and peaceful forms he is irresistibly powerful.

The mantra of Vajrapani is a very straight-forward one, easy, yet powerful: Om Vajrapani Hum. Omsymbolizes many things, including the Five Buddhas the Five Wisdoms. Vajrapani (Thunderbolt holder, diamond-scepter holder, or Vajra Hand) is homage to the great Vajrapani. HUM is the word that “Destroys all suffering.”

According to the Tantra of the Supreme Origination of Vajrapani.

” If the disciple renders one obeisance to Vajrapani, he attains more merits than he would have secured through rendering numerous obeisances to myriads of Buddhas as many as the total grains of sands in ninety-two million Ganges Rivers… If he relies on Vajrapani as his Yidam Buddha and recites the Mantra, he will surely be protected by Vajrapani from all hindrances. No demons can hurt him, all illness will be cured, his merits will be increased and prosperity augmented. All his wishes will be fulfilled. Thus, the benefits of practicing this ritual are beyond description, nothing can afflict those who practice it. The practitioner of this ritual will also accomplish all the four activities — Pacifying, Enriching, Magnetizing and Wrathful. He will encounter no obstacles. Therefore, one should always rely on Vajrapani, take him as one’s shelter and refuge. Also, those who have chronic diseases will be cured through reciting the Mantra of Vajrapani.”

[dustedmagazine]

The Hard Quartet — s/t (Matador)

“Leave yourself behind and go into something where you’re actually listening to others and trying to come up with a solution to whatever kind of esoteric thing you are attempting to do in your life. You know what I mean?” — Emmett Kelly

Dragging on supergroups is practically a spectator sport among critics. So too is the idea that music that sounds like something from an ever-shrinking notion of the past is inherently suspect. The Hard Quartet explodes both canards on their debut recording for Matador. Emmett Kelly (best known for playing in The Cairo Gang), Stephen Malkmus (Pavement, The Jicks), Matt Sweeney (Chavez, Superwolf), and Jim White (Dirty Three), have a combined discography that could practically fill a mack truck with LPs. The performances in the Hard Quartet are reflective of their prior associations, true, but the amalgamation of these creates something fresh and distinctive.

Kelly’s explosive guitar solo kicks off album opener “Chrome Mess,” which is centered around an undulating modal tune that is both played and sung. “Rio’s Song” and “Our Hometown Boy” have group vocals nearly throughout on memorable power pop tunes. “Renegade,” on the other hand, is a visceral alt-rock offering, with a wall of guitars, powerful drumming from White, and exuberant vocals from Malkmus.

“Heel Highway” changes the mood significantly. A Bay area ballad, it recalls both the sixties and nineties. These tropes combine in Malkmus’s rangy lead vocal, dulcet vocal harmonies, arcing guitars and syncopated drumming. “Hey” is one of the album’s standout songs, with Malkmus’s laconic vocals, lead guitar breaks, layered rhythm guitars, and a chorus that draws on the appeal of slacker anthems.

The center of the album sees the band stretch out on “Six Deaf Rats,” with stream of consciousness lyrics in a soaring vocal melody that alternates with equally effulgent guitars. In a marked contrast, “Action for Military Boys” channels rhythmically charged second generation prog, with intricate scales in the guitars and martial drumming. There is an oasis in the middle where White lays out and a vocal bridge ensues. White returns and the music drives towards its former intensity.

“Jacked Existence” is the most delicate song on the recording, with hushed vocals and economical, Latinx-inflected rhythms. “North of the Border” has a loose, jam-inflected arrangement and Malkmus’s most emotive vocal, with backing vocals once again supporting him. The improvisatory nature of many of the band’s arrangements provides imaginative qualities to the music. “Thug Dynasty” has a terrific arrangement, with repeated synth notes added here and there and guitar breaks abounding. Malkmus makes the lyrics about lost time in his role in Pavement. The final track  ambles through the last five minutes of the album, with flurried music for the guitars, White’s inimitable drumming support, and another vocal where Malkmus tests the limits of his voice.

The Hard Quartet is one of my favorite recordings of the year, a strong collection of songs made by established artists who refuse to be hemmed in by anyone’s expectations.

Christian Carey

[caterpillarinacave]

Got any random Fairchild family headcanons, especially ones pertaining to Matthew and Henry?

Oh, I always have headcanons!

Also, sorry I took so long to answer, I am currently withering away to sawdust. 

Matthew was one of those “nicely disobedient kids”. Someone will be like “okay, keep your shoes on okay? It’s important not to take them off in here alright?” and he's like “yeah yeah yeah! I got it!” then tears his pants and shirt away and takes off running. 

Both Matthew and Charles were those kids who just hung off their parents 24/7. Actually, all the TID gangs kids are like that. Someone is always carrying at least one child. Henry’s lap is prime real estate. So are Will’s shoulders. What are adults if not your personal chauffeur?

Henry and Matthew actually do have very similar hair, although Matthew’s is straighter. Matthew can’t tell because, you know, he styles it, and Henry absolutely does not. 

Matthew’s concern about not looking like his father in GOTSM is distressing because its so unfounded. He looks a lot like both his parents, and frankly he’s the only one who's never noticed.

Christmas is soooo fun there. Mostly because they dont do any of it at their own house, they just go to all the christmas parties they get invited to and watch shit go down. Every shadowhunter party is a madhouse. Matthew and Charles get released into the crowd of children to play, and Henry and Charlotte just kind of sit to the side and watch everything dissolve into chaos. They’ll send Matthew and Charles home with an uncle or aunt, they're staying to watch 24 year old Micheal what's his name from some corner of Britain tries to fight his 64 year old uncle over the rise of livestock taxes in liverpool. Charlotte doesnt feel morally obligated to step until chairs become involved.

Other than the entertianment of christmas chaos, holidays are fun. They come with markets and present shopping. Matthew and Charles get paired off with whatever parent, then their basically free in a christmas market (provided they stay within five feet of said parent.) Matthew goes with Henry and has the time of his life. He comes home with pockets full of peppermint candies choclaty little fingers and a whole lot of happiness. Also, did you know theres fun holiday stuff in the shadowmarket? Whats better than sitting in your dads lap while he chats with a warlock in a demon language like forty people in the world speak, then going back to the cities for a chocolate croissant. Hey, it's safer than you think, Henry's not letting Matthew go anywhere in that market lol.

Of course, there a lots of bedtime stories and songs. Matthew is big on bedtime stories, though he has a few favorites. He's quite keen on Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, and he asks for it at least once a week. That was Henry's favorite as a child, and there are several copies to pick from which may be part of why Matthew likes it so much.

When Matthew gets a little older they move onto more interesting stuff. You know, the normal books for a nine year old; like The Travels of Marco Polo. Matthew is a well educated nine year old.

There's a lot of checkers and chess. Charlotte is decent at chess, and Henry's amazing at it, though Charles Buford and Matthew are more average. Matthew does, however, enjoy the aesthetic, and can play a mean game of checkers.

Tea time is important. World might be burning down but there will be tea on the Fairchild's table.

Matthew and Charles get sent flowers on special occasions. Doesn't really matter if they want flowers, or if they are "far to old for such frivolaty, I have things to do they'll simply die-" (coughcharlesbufordcough), they get them anyway. Henry and Charlotte have had the same ancient florist from Yorkshire doing it for decades, and considering she's been ninety since Henry was about six, and shows no signs of mortality, Charles and Matthew should prepare to have flowers forever.

One good rule for the kids in that house is to a) knock, and b) if that door is locked, do NOT open it. Really a rule all the TID gang kids know. If you decide to open, or try to open, or even hang out near, a locked door (or any thin walls) may the consequences be on your own head. Look, everyone in that group loves their partner very much, 

That’s why Charles Buford is so bitter btw. Didn’t know the rule, scarred for life. Pretty much like that vine. 

[palettepainter]

Incorrect quotes 2.0

I’ll update this when I got the rest of Zoot’s cousin designs posted, but I couldn’t resit! Ran belongs to @rottedbrainz, Gabe belongs to @posies-and-bundles, Liv is mine (for anyone knew Liv and Randy are Zoot’s cousins, Liv being the youngest one whose the same age as Scooter, Gabe is Zoot’s dad)

Gabe: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Zoot. They're mad at you. Zoot: No, it's Liv. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Liv: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Rand: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Liv: I stand by my choice.

////

Rand: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Liv: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia. Gabe: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Zoot: You guys are fucking terrifying.

////

Liv: Everyone synchronise your watches. Gabe: I don't know how to do that. Rand: I don't wear a watch. Zoot: Time is a construct.

////

Liv: Shh, here comes Gabe! Zoot: Quick, Rand, start talking about boring nerd stuff! Rand: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist. Zoot: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.

////

Rand: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. Zoot: The cow?? Rand: What? Liv: Zoot, W H Y?

////

Zoot & Gabe in the back of Rand's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! Liv: We have food at home. Rand: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough* Zoot & Gabe: YAYYYYYY! Rand: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

////

Liv: Ducks are better than rabbits. Zoot: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. Rand: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Zoot: We’re not talking about flavour, Rand! Rand: Flavour counts! Zoot: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Gabe: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier? Zoot: Okay, but- Gabe: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? Rand: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out! Zoot: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, RAND! Rand: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, ZOOT! Liv: I- Jesus-

////

Zoot: How late were you up last night? Rand & Gabe, in tandem: Me? Zoot: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time. Zoot, to Liv: You.

////

Gabe: Which country has the most birds? Gabe: Portu-geese! Zoot: That's a language. Gabe: Portu-gull? Zoot: Good recovery. Liv: I think you mean good re-dovery. Rand: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

////

*In a horror movie situation* Rand: I've got no service in my phone here. Liv: Shoot, my battery just died. Gabe: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer. Zoot: Guys, my phone is a book.

////

-This quote with kiddo Liv- 

Gabe: Yesterday, I watched Liv try to eat a decorative rock from Zoot's potted plant. Rand caught them, and told them they can't eat rocks. Liv started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

////

Liv: How do Zoot and Gabe usually get out of these messes? Rand: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

////

*The gang when they drop food on the floor* Rand: Aw man. *Throws it away* Liv: Five second rule! Gabe: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor* Zoot: *Sobs on the floor*

////

Rand: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Gabe: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Rand: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Gabe: But I heard a siren. Zoot: That was Liv. Liv: Sorry, I got nervous.

////

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Zoot, with Rand and Gabe behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Zoot: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Zoot: Liv FUCKING FELL OFF!

////

Rand: ARE YOU- Gabe: Fucking. Rand: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Gabe: Fucking. Rand: IDIOT! Zoot: …What was that? Gabe: Liv banned Rand from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

[jadagul]

While looking for information on gender demographics in the aftermath of the Thirty Years' War, I found a perfectly inoffensive article with the most amazing comments.

The Thirty Years War, like many others, was actually a gender war. The Protestants were and are patriarchal while the Catholics are matriarchal. This has been going on for thousands of years with the Satan versus Luciferian battle for control of our planet. Find out the truth in my book, Secrets of the Pink Kush, where the lies embedded within history, religion and biology are revealed. The tetraploid humans are the ones ultimately responsible for these gender wars as the Old World Order battles the New World Order.

Catholics are matriarchal, who knew?

And separately:

It appears that this use of Hebrew religion to encourage genocide and the killing of innocents, has it's beginnings in the overthrow of Black rule in Europe and the substitution of the Albino created "Protest" religions (Protestantism) in Europe. In the 1500s Martin Luther and other Albinos had rebelled against the Black Catholic Church, then under the protection of the "Black Holy Roman Empire" headquartered in Germany. The Reformation as the Albinos called it: specifically referred to as the Protestant Reformation, was a schism in Western Christianity initiated by Martin Luther and continued by John Calvin, Huldrych Zwingli, and other early Protestant Reformers in 16th-century Europe. It is usually considered to have started with the publication of the Ninety-five Theses by Luther in 1517 and lasted until the end of the "Thirty Years" War with the Peace of Westphalia in 1648. It was this war, where all the Albinos across Europe, ganged-up on the Black Holy Roman Empire, which killed-off millions of Black Europeans, and resulted in most of the survivors being shipped to the Americas as slaves or Indentures. This caused the fall of Black rule in Europe, and the usurping and rewriting of Black religion.

I have not heard either of those before and they are both absolutely fucking amazing. (And now I'm wondering if the Black Catholic Church was matriarchal...)

[disgruntledseagull]

That bee idiot is right that 95% of Jews support Zionism even if they choose not to live there - it’s a cultural identity that the majority of Jews accept. They don’t want to live there, most Jews leave as soon as their IDF conscription is up, but they still see it as “their” country regardless.

That being said it’s real fun to hear them argue in one breath that the mass murder of an entire people is “part of their identity” and then in the next breath accuse everyone of hating Jews, hey man I didn’t make the rules. I certainly didn’t attach my cultural identity to the mass displacement of 700,000 people.

Most Jews are, unfortunately, Zionists, but as lilpeebee proves not all Zionists are Jews - they’re just retarded

Yeah, well would really only take 4% of Jews worldwide disagreeing with Zionism to make it so there was a million Jews that didn't agree with Zionism, okay?

From what I know about humans in general, you can basically always find four or five percent of people to disagree with Literally Anything, let alone something so fraught with controversy...

One way or the other, even if it was just Max Blumenthal that thought Zionism was disgusting and opposed it, he's Jewish and so therefore I wouldn't have any right to hate all Jews on the basis of Zionism.

You either are personally and individually an internationalist criminal, or you aren't.

Even if hating Zionists does equate to hating ninety five percent of Jews that's still not anti-semitism.

Anti semitism would be hating Jewish people for being Jewish and refusing to stop hating them ever because they're Jewish.

I just want Zionists to give up on their horrible internationalist criminal gang and stop acting like they ought to own the world.

Any Jewish Zionist that would like me to stop opposing them merely has to stop supporting Zionism, because I have no opposition to Jewishness.

Even if it does, as you say, typically lead to Zionism.

[angel-of-arson]

Incorrect quotes

William: What is it called when you kill a friend? Edith: Homicide. Sam: Murder. Rigel: Homiecide.

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? William: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Edith: I personally was created in a lab. Rigel: I just straight up spawned lol.

*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword* Sam: Rude. William: That's fair. Edith: Not again. Rigel: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

Edith: Oh gosh I wish I got more sleep I only got six hours! Sam: Six? I only got three! William: You guys got sleep? Rigel, comes stumbling out of their room and grabs a jug of coffee before saying: What year is it??

William: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk? Sam: *sighing* Rigel. Rigel: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die. Edith: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread* William: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. Rigel: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful. Sam: if you want information it is Edith: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

William: We call that a traumatic experience. William, turning to Rigel: Not a "bruh moment". William, turning to Sam: Not "sadge". William, turning to Edith: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Edith: What’s it like being tall? Sam: Is it nice? Edith: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? William: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

William: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Sam: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia. Rigel: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Edith: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Edith: I told Sam to grab snacks for everyone. Rigel, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks? * Edith, Sam, and William raise their hands*

William: So, everyone, what does a story NEED? Rigel: A character! Sam: A setting! Edith, a gleam in their eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.

Edith: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. William: You are my reward. *also* Edith: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Rigel: True, you can be really difficult at times.

Edith: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- Rigel: A doll. Sam: A cinnamon roll. William: A sweetheart. Edith: Edith: ...stop it.

Rigel, gesturing to William: Sam, look what you did! You made Dad upset! Edith: Dad, please don’t cry, we’re sorry! Sam: I’m sorry Dad... :( William, near tears: I DON’T REMEMBER GETTING TO ANY OF YOU!

[haggishlyhagging]

Ninety per cent of male gang members reported being involved in violence in the last three years, according to a PHE briefing, with four out of five reporting at least three violent incidents. In a telling observation, the briefing went on to say that most were found to have violent attitudes and be excited by violence, yet many also feared it. It is clear from this that gang membership, while often sought as an escape from an intolerable or dysfunctional home, simply replaces one unsafe environment with another. And while it remains the case that only a minority of teenagers end up in gangs, the effects are far-reaching in communities where they are active, as we can see from a spate of fatal stabbings in London and other British cities in 2018.

This sequence of deaths has caused a great deal of speculation about police numbers, cuts to youth services and the best ways to keep teenagers out of trouble. But there is no great mystery about which boys end up in gangs and the factors that make them susceptible, such as exposure to domestic violence, also feature in the recruiting process for terrorist organisations. It has become clear in recent years that gang membership carries the additional risk of providing terrorist organisations, such as ISIS, the al-Nusra Front and AQ's east African affiliate, al-Shabaab, with a pool of angry young men who are already immersed in a criminal subculture. The proportion of would-be terrorists who've previously been involved in violent crime is striking, with fully half of ISIS fighters from European countries already known to the police. This is a significant break with the past: in the 1990s, AQ recruited individuals from an educated, middle-class background who had studied practical subjects such as engineering to degree level. More recent recruits to Islamist organisations have tended to be poorly educated and drawn from impoverished inner-city communities, where they may have joined gangs for protection. Some of them know little about Islam, so much so that two British recruits to ISIS were reported to have ordered copies of The Koran for Dummies and Islam for Dummies from Amazon before they headed for Turkey.

-Joan Smith, Home Grown: How Domestic Violence Turns Men Into Terrorists

[bambirex]

It's A Game We Play: Chapter 7

Pairings: Geraskier, Yennskier, Radskier

Characters: Jaskier, Geralt of Rivia, Yennefer of Vengerberg, Radovid, original female characters, Essi Daven, Priscilla, Ciri of Cintra, Valdo Marx

Additional tags: inspired by Mamma Mia! (movies), crack, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, omega Jaskier, alpha Geralt, Alpha Yennefer, Beta Radovid, awkwardness, Jaskier is a good parent, protective Jaskier, weddings, found family, post mpreg, fluff and humor, alternate universe-modern setting, Jaskier is having the worst time of his life, Valdo is here to make everything worse, confusion, banter, insecure Jaskier, internalized slut shaming, light angst, family drama, there was only one bed, sharing a bed, Valdo Marx being an asshole, Valdo Marx and his ukulele from hell, drunk Jaskier

Rating: teen and up audiences

Full word count: 21,228 words

Chapter word count: 4,557 words

Chapters: 7/?

Summary: Jaskier's daughter is about to marry the love of her life, and she decides she wants both her parents at her wedding. Only problem is that Jaskier has slept with a little too many people in his youth, so the identity of the other parent is a mystery. That does not stop the bride-to-be from inviting three potential daddy candidates and unleashing absolute chaos in the process.

*

Otherwise known as Jaskier's terrible horrible no good past decisions leading to terrible horrible no good outcomes. Also known as the Mamma Mia! AU nobody asked for, but I wrote it anyway.

Chapter summary: Radovid, Geralt and Yennefer receive some more hysterical outbursts from Jaskier, some vague motivation from Amaryllis, a not very ideal sleeping arrangement, an offensive serenade, and some extremely confusing feelings.

Author's notes: It seems like whenever I'm putting these poor idiots through the shredder, my word count reaches insane levels. Half of this chapter is filled with screaming to convey everybody's emotions.

Read on Ao3

*

Radovid has experienced many awkward scenarios in his life, but nothing could compare to the tragicomedy of traipsing up to the inn his ex owned, with his maybe-daughter leading the way, as two other miserable people dragged their own baggage (emotional and physical alike) forward next to him. No one said a word since Amaryllis told them what they’ve already heard from Jaskier. What was there to say, other than holy fucking shit?

Right after Amaryllis finished her last sentence, she got a text from Jaskier, telling her to bring Radovid, Yennefer and Geralt to the inn, where they would stay until they managed to sort everything out. How they were going to find out the truth, Radovid had no idea. Amaryllis looked at least ninety-five percent like Jaskier, so it wasn’t easy to guess whose DNA was also in there. But well, they still had a bit of time to go until Amaryllis’s wedding, and apparently, they were going to spend those upcoming days trying to play a weird guessing game. Radovid’s head already hurt just imagining what was awaiting them.

Jaskier stood on the porch of the inn, his arms crossed over his chest. His lips were pressed together in a small pout as he watched the surreal gang approaching him. He was still wearing those distractingly short shorts as well. Not that Radovid looked at his thighs, or anything.

“Hi,” he said quietly once they reached him. He looked a lot less hysterical than he did in the goat shed, which was a much better look on him. “How long are you planning to stay… wait. Amaryllis? Present the plan.”

Amaryllis blushed in embarrassment. Her nose twitched nervously as she sent each of them a glance.

“Well…”

It was so painfully obvious she had no idea what she was doing. It was equal amounts annoying and endearing.

Jaskier sighed and waved a dismissive hand. “Okay, whatever. I still have three more rooms left, so…”

“Thank you, for letting us stay here,” Geralt said. He gave Jaskier a small smile. “I wouldn’t have been surprised if you made us sleep out in the goat shed.”

Radovid and Yennefer made a sound of protest at the idea. Jaskier snorted.

“Yeah, I’m not that evil. Come inside, we’re gonna get you all sorted out.”

“He’s still angry, isn’t he?” Radovid whispered to Amaryllis. She looked up at him with a sigh.

“Murderous.”

“Our time here is looking out to be very peachy, then,” Yennefer muttered. “Amaryllis, I really hope we’ll get to sort this out very soon.”

“I’ll do my best,” she promised with a little smile. As weird and chaotic this girl was, Radovid had to admit she was also very sweet. He was Jaskier’s daughter, after all, it made sense that she took after him.

Once they were inside the lobby, they ran into Ciri. She looked absolutely amused by the sight of them.

“You all look awful,” she told them with a bright grin. Geralt groaned.

“Thanks, Ciri. How kind of you to remind us.”

“Jaskier knows about me,” she said casually. Amaryllis made a confused noise. Ciri looked up at her, her teasing grin easing into a small, sympathetic smile.

“We didn’t really talk,” she told her softly. “So, you don’t really know who I am.”

“Yeah, sorry for just dropping you off here,” Amaryllis said. “I had to act quickly.”

“That’s okay, uhm…I’m here with these folks because I’m Geralt’s daughter.”

Amaryllis blinked. Her lips parted slightly in surprise. Jaskier turned around from where he was leaning against the reception desk, carefully checking his daughter’s reaction.

“Oh,” Amaryllis breathed. She swallowed audibly. She glanced at Geralt, who watched her with an unreadable expression.

“Thank you, for telling me,” Amaryllis concluded. She smiled at Ciri, but Radovid could see uncertainty in her eyes. It seemed like that after shocking everyone with the news she delivered, it was her turn to be shocked by the realization that she may had a little sister.

“This day is just full of revelations, isn’t it?” Yennefer whispered, as if she read his thoughts. Radovid nodded. He was truly wishing for at least one minute of peace.

Apparently, wishes didn’t come true.

“What do you mean they’re all taken!?” Jaskier suddenly yelled, making each of them jump. The kind-faced elderly lady behind the desk just smiled up at him.

“Ciri took one of them.”

“You took what?” Geralt asked in confusion, turning to his daughter. Ciri shrugged.

“A room.”

“Alone?”

“Yes. I need my beauty sleep, and you snore too loud.”

“Okay, Ciri,” Jaskier chimed in, “it would be much better if you stayed in the same room with your dad.”

“No, I’m not a baby,” Ciri scoffed. “I have my own room at home, I’m having my own room here.”

“She already signed,” the receptionist lady said, showing Jaskier the form. Jaskier groaned.

“Angela, this isn’t a legal sign, she’s not eighteen!”

“It’s just a room, Papa,” Amaryllis said, laying a gentle hand on her father’s shoulder. “She didn’t sign a mortgage.”

“Whose side are you on,” Jaskier whined. He rubbed at his temples. “How am I supposed to give three people two rooms?”

“One,” Angela clarified. A cacophony of Yennefer’s swearing, Geralt’s grumbling, Radovid’s stuttering and Jaskier’s overdramatic gasping filled the lobby. Some guests even turned their way to see what the fuss was about.

“What do you mean, one room!?” Jaskier’s voice went high-pitched. “Who took the rest?”

“I did.”

The sound that left Jaskier’s mouth was nothing like Radovid had ever heard from a human. They all turned around in confusion to see a guy with a mustache sitting next to a houseplant in the corner. He grinned brightly at Jaskier.

“Very lovely inn,” the guy said, lounging on his seat comfortably. “Especially that wallpaper. Did a toddler make it?”

Jaskier growled and made a move to lunge himself at him. Geralt caught him around the waist just in time before he majorly embarrassed himself, or landed himself in jail.

“Let me at him,” Jaskier snarled, flailing in Geralt’s grasp, “I’m going to kill him!”

“Oh, no,” Amaryllis groaned, realization settling in her eyes. “That’s a joke.”

“Who is this?” Yennefer asked in utter confusion. The guy stood from the seat and sauntered over to them, ignoring Jaskier’s struggle.

“I’m Valdo Marx, pleasure to meet you,” he crooned. He grinned at Amaryllis. “Ah, the younger Pankratz!”

He grabbed Amaryllis’s hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. She made a gagging sound.

“Don’t touch my daughter, you toad,” Jaskier growled. “What are you doing in my inn? Angela! Why did you let him in!?”

She didn’t reply, as she was too occupied with her magazine. Jaskier tried again, louder this time.

“Angela!!!”

“Yes dear? You know, my hearing…”

“Why did you give him a room?”

“Now, discrimination against your guests isn’t a good look,” Valdo tutted. “Do you want me to yell out in front of your guests that you would remove me forcibly, even though I didn’t do anything?”

Jaskier’s face was so red, it was a wonder his head didn’t explode. Radovid, Yennefer and Geralt looked at each other in total confusion. Amaryllis glared daggers at Valdo, while Ciri grinned in the background, once again very much delighted by the free show.

“I’ll double your price,” Jaskier threatened him. Valdo raised an eyebrow.

“That’s discrimination again. I think I should actually yell…”

“No, shut up!” Jaskier huffed. He released a long-suffering sigh. “I’m going to have a stroke. Is this what having a stroke feels like?”

“Okay, but who is this?” Geralt asked. He only dared let Jaskier go once Valdo finally retreated to the room he mercilessly took.

“The guy I’m going to kill one day,” Jaskier huffed. He put his hands on his hips. “Okay. So, apparently, this bastard has taken one of the free rooms, and Ciri doesn’t want to let her own father inside hers.”

“That’s right,” Ciri replied simply. Geralt shook his head at her.

“So, I guess that means you all need to take that one room left,” Amaryllis told them with an apologetic smile. “I would offer you to sleep at me and my fiancée’s place, but we wouldn’t fit.”

“And no one is coming into my house,” Jaskier told them flat-out. “There’s a camping bed in that room, you’ll be fine.”

“Oh, no, it’s actually that room with one bed,” Angela chimed in with a smile. Yennefer’s eyes widened.

“No,” she hissed. “No fucking way. I am not sleeping in the same bed with these two. I’d rather kill myself.”

“Ciri, please,” Geralt pleaded, “you can’t do this to me.”

“Sorry,” Ciri replied simply. “It’s time we subjected someone else to your snoring.”

“I’ll pay you to let me sleep at your place,” Radovid turned to Jaskier. He shook his head vehemently.

“Nope. I can’t allow myself to go any more insane than I already am.”

Radovid sat down on his suitcase with a groan. This couldn’t be happening. The last thing he wanted was to sleep in the same bed with someone he didn’t take there himself. Especially with someone who apparently snored hard enough that his own daughter refused to stay in the same room with him, and with someone whose career he essentially ruined and who he was pretty sure would gladly murder him in the middle of the night.

“You know what, that’s the most I can offer you today,” Jaskier said, holding his hands up. “If you don’t like it, you can actually go and sleep in the goat shed. I’m tired of this. Bunch of whiny babies.”

“Alright,” Geralt gave in with a sigh. His tough exterior seemed to melt like chocolate over a stove whenever Jaskier was involved, and well, Radovid did not blame him. He also couldn’t make himself put up a fight against him, even though this whole idea sounded like a nightmare.

“God, I’m so sorry,” Amaryllis told them. She did look super guilty, at least. “This is all my fault.”

It kind of was, but none of them had the heart to say that to her. Instead, they all followed Jaskier to their room, defeated. The wheels of their suitcase creaking against the floor sounded like a sad, off-key fanfare at their funeral. At least Ciri looked happy rushing into her own little suite, the cheeky little witch.

“So,” Jaskier started as he opened the door to their room, “this would be it.”

It was indeed a small room with minimal décor, but it looked cozy enough. Radovid hoped Angela only joked about the one bed, but apparently not. Indeed, there was only one.

“No loud music after ten in the evening, though I doubt you would do that, don’t take forty-five minutes long showers because you’ll use up all the hot water and I will be very mad, breakfast, lunch and dinner is obviously in the dining room, you will find it easily because there’s a giant sign above the door, there’s some gluten and lactose-free options, not a lot because I have to pay the bills somehow, breakfast is from seven-to-ten, lunch is from noon-to two, dinner is from six-to eight. The Wi-Fi is free but lags a little, please don’t steal the towels, you can find them in that closet over there. Do you need anything else?”

“Another bed,” Yennefer groaned miserably. Jaskier snorted.

“Yeah, unfortunately, that’s all I have.”

“Thank you,” Radovid told him, forcing a smile onto his face to hide the fact he was screaming in agony inside. Jaskier nodded at him.

“Sure thing. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

With that, he turned around and left. Amaryllis leant against the doorframe, releasing a breath.

“Whew, this is a horror movie. I’m so sorry guys, seriously. You have no idea how much. When Papa said you can take rooms in the inn, I didn’t realize… this situation would happen.”

Geralt sat on the bed with a heavy sigh. “Who’s that Valdo guy? He has a very punchable face.”

Amaryllis chuckled. “He’s Papa’s archnemesis. They went to the same theater group in high school and competed with each other all the time. He’s an obnoxious Beta who ‘dresses like an Omega in heat, and thinks he’s like an Alpha in bed’, as described by my Papa. A painfully persistent over-compensator, whose favorite hobby is antagonizing my father. They even applied to the same college of performing arts, but only Valdo got in. So, you can imagine why Papa hates him so much.”

“How come Jaskier didn’t get in?” Radovid asked. “He said he won singing and poem-reciting competitions all the time.”

“He got pregnant,” Amaryllis replied quietly. She ducked her head down guiltily- the same guilt Radovid, Geralt and Yennefer also felt, if the way they all hunched in on themselves at the same time was any indication.

Yennefer broke the tense silence, eventually. “So, how are we planning this whole… ‘let’s figure out which one of us is your parent’ thing?”

“I was thinking I would spend some time getting to know you,” Amaryllis replied, “learn about your habits, your life… to see which one of you is the most like me? I don’t know. I think by the time my wedding comes, we will have an answer.”

Her phone pinged. She let out a gasp when she checked the message.

“Oh, shit, that’s Sara. My fiancée. She’s probably worried my Papa killed me.” She sent them all an apologetic smile. “I guess I should leave you now, a little bit. This day was a bit too much for everyone, so how about I come back tomorrow?”

They all agreed that was the best idea. Right now, another heavy conversation with their maybe-daughter didn’t sound like fun.

“Okay, well,” Radovid started once Amaryllis left the room, “I guess since we’re gonna spend quite some time together, maybe we should also get to know each other.”

“So much for leaving each other alone,” Yennefer groaned. She all but collapsed on a pouf. “Whatever. What do you wanna know?”

“How did you two meet Jaskier?”

Geralt quirked an eyebrow at him. “Why is this important?”

“Just curious.”

Geralt hummed. “Okay. Well, I was holidaying with my family, we camped in the woods for almost a month. My brothers, and my dad. We own a farm back home, with horses and a few cows.”

“I bet your horse’s name is still Roach,” Yennefer chuckled. She turned towards the confused Radovid. “He names all of his horses Roach. No matter their gender, color… though he has a thing for chestnut horses.”

“Wow,” Radovid chuckled, “and you gave me flack for naming my tarantula Franz Joseph.”

“That’s definitely worse,” Geralt argued. “Anyways, we were all here, and Jaskier’s car broke down. So, I helped him change the tire and the oil. He kept ogling me all the time. He even offered to pay in nature.”

“That’s so him,” Radovid laughed. “He didn’t, though, right?”

“No. But I suspiciously kept running into him afterwards. He was somehow always around. Always flirting, always seducing. And I eventually… I slept with him.”

He rubbed at his chin, a little embarrassed. “I wasn’t very smart back then. Didn’t really know what I wanted out of life. Definitely not a relationship, at the time. So, I… I left him. I loved him, but I couldn’t give him what he needed. Nothing steady or safe. And I needed to go home to finish college, and be a personal trainer, so… your turn, Radovid.”

“Okay,” Radovid swallowed. “Well, my father died, and I inherited one of his companies, the mango one. My brother got the other one. I was… celebrating, not that he died, of course. But that I got a whole firm so young. And I was in a bar, and I saw him, and he looked beautiful. And I bought him a drink, charmed him a little, and then… you know. We also didn’t play chess in bed.”

“And you left him for the company, I assume,” Yennefer said. Her voice seemed to have lost its ire. Radovid nodded.

“It’s a huge responsibility. You should see my schedule. I forget to eat like every second day. I couldn’t just leave it. So… yes. I did. I chose the company over him.”

“Well, it seems like none of us were the greatest back then,” Yennefer said with a bitter chuckle. “I was doing internship in the kitchen of this very inn. It was owned by Jaskier’s Aunt back then. He kept flirting with me, always sneaking into the kitchen to taste-test my food. He was so damn persistent. And well, there was a bit of a party, I had a bit to drink, and I said fuck it, and I slept with him. I was hoping to be a master chef, so I chased my dreams and I left him behind. Nothing came out of that dream, as you all know.”

“I’m sorry, Yennefer,” Radovid told her, feeling genuine guilt over it for the first time. Somehow, as they talked, all of them revealing something of their past selves, allowing themselves to be vulnerable around each other, he felt less and less irritated by them. Maybe they weren’t such douchebags, after all.

Yennefer waved a dismissive hand. “Whatever. I guess I would’ve failed on my own anyways.”

“And what do we think about the whole Amaryllis deal?” Geralt asked. “I, personally, didn’t want kids for decades. I thought they were not for me. Then I got older, and I changed my mind. So, I adopted Ciri. I’m adopted, too. All my brothers are. We don’t have the most conventional family, so… but I’m still shocked, of course, that she could be my child, too.”

“I never thought myself to be a family man, either,” Radovid admitted. “I mean, I killed Franz Joseph. I forgot to feed him. Do you know how frugal tarantulas are? They’re like, the cactuses of pets. And I still managed to kill him, because I practically forgot I had him. I am still consumed by guilt every time I think about him. All I do is work, sometimes have one-night stands, get drunk alone like a miserable idiot, and the alarm rings again. How would a child fit into this picture? If I got Jaskier pregnant…God.”

“I always wanted kids,” Yennefer said softly. “And I had serious relationships. With Geralt, as well,” she blushed softly as she stole a glance at him. “But our personalities kept clashing. And that happened with everyone. I got married, and divorced, and rinse and repeat. And I cook in that awful bistro, and I don’t really have anything going on in my life. Amaryllis… I guess I’m upset about it. If she’s mine, didn’t we already run out of time to bond?”

They sat in silence for a while. Geralt hummed, fiddling with a loose thread on the blanket.

“I guess maybe it’s not too late,” he concluded. He gave both of them a smile. “Hey, is there a chance we won’t kill each other, after all?”

“Not so fast,” Yennefer chuckled. “Ciri is right, you do snore awfully.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Well, you talk in your sleep.”

“Great night ahead,” Radovid sighed. “A guy once said I headbutted him in my sleep, so, be warned.”

They heard a soft sound from outside, like strings on a guitar. They all looked at each other in confusion. Before they could figure out what was going on, someone all but tore up their door.

“What the fuck…?” Geralt grumbled as they spotted Valdo with a ukulele, grinning at them.

“You know how long I’ve been waiting for some good inspiration,” he chuckled. He played a chord, never taking his eyes off the confused gang. “And my oh my, how lovely it is that my room is right next to yours, and the walls are so thin!”

“Dude, get out of here,” Yennefer snapped, “what do you want?”

“Just showing you a lovely song I just put together after hearing your beautiful stories,” Valdo said with a grin. Radovid groaned.

“Nobody cares…!”

His voice was drowned out by Valdo’s ukulele, and then his singing.

Let me tell you a story, Which did not come with glory, About an old friend of mine, Wouldn’t even have to be wined and dined, As he opened his legs anyway, anytime!

First, he met Geralt, the big buff introvert, Jaskier looked at him and begged, ‘please insert!’ Now, he’s a gorgeous hunk, don’t get me wrong, But maybe his pull-out game wasn’t so strong, He pumped that flat tire, and maybe something else, Now, tell me, does being a gymrat pay child support well?

Next was Radovid, the smooth-talking boss, Jaskier melted for him like a piece of candy floss, His beloved mangoes are not the only ones with seeds, There’s a chance he left behind his fancy genes, His schedule is crazy, always the grind, but it’s so lucky, That for knocking up Jaskier, he did make time!

Pretty Yennefer closed the line, Her skilled fingers made Jaskier whine, She stirs her herbs and spices in a pot, It made Jaskier’s belly grow quite a lot! But not because she was such a talented chef lady, Rather because she may have made him a baby.

Sweet Amaryllis cries, ‘Papa, who’s my daddy?’ Jaskier is clueless, oh, that’s not dandy! Does Geralt inseminate not only horses? Or did Radovid sign the sire clauses? Was it Yennefer, who put the bun in the oven? This is what you get, dear Jaskier, when your legs are always open!

“Gotta go find Jaskier to serenade him with it as well,” Valdo said. He was lucky he made a bow just in time, because he managed to duck away from the slipper that Yennefer threw at his head.

“Get out of here!” She shrieked. “God, no wonder Jaskier hates you so much!”

“This is so insensitive!” Radovid growled. “What is wrong with you, seriously!?”

“This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard,” Valdo all but cackled. “Oh, Jaskier. What a mess you got yourself in, you whore.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Geralt rumbled. When his impressive bulk moved towards the door, Valdo finally realized it was smarter to flee, so that was what he did. Geralt turned back to the other two in shock.

“Can you believe this?”

“I actually am gonna murder somebody,” Yennefer growled. Radovid nodded, his nostrils flaring with anger.

“I’ll aid you.”

--

Jaskier put his forehead on his crossed arms, all but collapsing over the table. Essi cooed and gently rubbed his back.

“It’s okay, dear,” she told him sweetly, “we’re here for you.”

“I wanna die,” Jaskier whimpered, “this is a fucking soap opera. I can’t do this. I can’t.”

“Sweet cheeks,” Priscilla said, squeezing his hand gently, “I know this is bad, but you’ll get through this, too. You’re the strongest person I know. If you managed to raise Amaryllis all alone, you can do this, too.”

“You don’t understand,” Jaskier sniffled. “They weren’t just one-night stands to me. I…I loved them. I did. I…and they’re here. In my fucking inn. And Amaryllis is one of theirs. Oh, and she also wants me to get back together with the one.”

Priscilla patted his arm before she poured him another glass of vodka, neat. She didn’t even try to convince him that drinking his feelings away was a bad idea, this time.

“And what do you want?” Essi asked him. Jaskier wiped his face with a groan.

“I told you, I wanna die.”

“Seriously.”

Jaskier stared at his glass miserably. He wished he knew what he wanted- he wanted his daughter happy, that was for sure. That was the only thing he had no doubts about. And if this mess was what made her happy, then… he probably should go along with the ride. Let her pick the most likely candidate. As for dating one of them again…?

“They’re still so hot,” Jaskier whimpered, already a little too drunk. He broke down sobbing. “Why are they still so hot?”

“Oh, no, don’t go there,” Priscilla warned him. “Unless… you want to, I guess.”

Essi snorted. “Very helpful, Priscilla.”

“I’m a miserable, sad, fat, old Omega, and they’re all so goddamn gorgeous,” Jaskier lamented. He downed the vodka in one go. “I hate them, and their stupid dicks.”

“Priscilla, stop pouring him more!”

“I always forgot that damn pill!”

“Priscilla!”

“Essi, he needs it!”

“No, he really doesn’t!”

“I was a whore, and look at me now,” Jaskier sobbed, “I ruined everything! My mother was right, I’m a good-for-nothing, easy…”

“No, darling,” Essi cooed. She wrapped her arms around him, shushing him softly. Priscilla joined the hug, pressing a kiss onto the top of his head. “Don’t blame yourself for this.”

Jaskier sniffled, smearing his tears and eyeliner all over his friends. He hated this so much, and most of all, himself. He could hate Geralt, Radovid, Yennefer or whoever all he wanted, but if he wasn’t like that…it wouldn’t have happened at all.

“God, I’m sorry,” he pulled back, trying to wipe the mess off his face. “This is ridiculous.”

“It is.”

Jaskier cursed under his breath at that familiar voice again. He whipped around, and indeed, there was Valdo Marx and his fucking ukulele.

“You should go away before I do something I would regret,” Jaskier growled. Valdo chuckled.

“This drunk? You wouldn’t even be able to tell your legs apart from your arms. Speaking of legs apart…”

It took both Priscilla and Essi’s strength, as well as the vodka in his system confusing his senses for him to be tackled down on the ground after he heard Valdo’s song. Otherwise, he truly would have gone down in history as the person who brutally murdered his former rival with a vodka bottle.

--

As expected, the night was very awkward.

Yennefer looked murderous cramped between Radovid and Geralt, constantly muttering something about castration under her nose. She held something soft and fluffy under her blanket, keeping it out of sight. Radovid saw it fleetingly and realized it was a plush unicorn. He bit his lip trying not to laugh, because he was sure Yennefer would’ve truly taken his balls off otherwise.

He didn’t get a lot of sleep that night, constantly worrying about whether Yennefer would actually snap and kill him in his sleep, and listening to the absolutely terrifying, industrial washing machine sounds that Geralt made. Ciri wasn’t kidding, it was the worst snores Radovid has ever heard.

He also couldn’t stop thinking about Amaryllis and Jaskier, and strangely, his thoughts kept circling back to Geralt and Yennefer as well- and about Geralt saying that maybe it was never too late… but for what, exactly? Bonding with an adult child? Getting Jaskier back? Falling in love with someone…new? Or old? Learning some things about himself?

He glanced at Yennefer who held that unicorn against her chest, looking surprisingly peaceful in her sleep. Then, he looked at Geralt, who, despite the snoring, looked very handsome with his hair spread out on the pillow under his head.

Radovid stared at the ceiling and wondered if his company at home was still intact, if nothing else was.

[bgw57]

The Other Williamses

One of my favorite things.

On Mothers' Day 1944 Dean Ellis Williams, who was really James Grant Williams, was married to Ruth Elinor Williams by her father, the Reverend William Clark Williams. How often does this happen? And how often are the bride and bride, groom and groom or bride and groom's identical last names a factor in how they meet?

You can blame high school chemistry class, and alphabetical seating in my parents' case. Dean Williams and Ruth Williams were lab partners because their high school teacher needed a little help remembering names. I believe this all started sometime in 1939. The dark Newtonian is Ruth's, her sophomore year. Dean is a class ahead, as you can see by what he wrote in his red 1940 yearbook.

Do you think they were advised to put their names in this spot? These were the days of penmanship, that's for sure.

Poor Dad, a year or so away from discovering he's Jim - but that name weirdness is another post.

Dad's class ring.

Looking an Ruth's 1939 Newtonian I notice that every photo with Dean in it is crudely marked. Something tells me Dad did it himself, being flirtatious and cheeky at the same time, grabbing it when Mom was not looking.

OR, in a rapture of adolescent lust and mark-up, Ruth's pen practically moved itself.

In Dad's 1940 yearbook, his senior year, the mad underliner is at work again, although in this book more arrows point to a certain junior with the same last name. Did Ruth write in Dean's book, tit for tat?

Miss Brom was a friend of Dean's youth who was part of a gang of girls who chased him across a street, like after he'd committed shenanigans against them, into the path of an oncoming car. He broke a leg. But she's better known to me as Aunt Esther my Uncle Paul's wife and sister-in-law to Ruth. When Aunt Esther Brom Williams passed my cousins generously gave me her stand mixer.

These graduation announcements were given to Mom by friends. High school and college related stuff she kept in this special box for patriots to save letters in.

Ruth Elinor Williams Williams, when explaining this surname snarl often added, "I didn't even have to change my name on my driver's license." But she didn't learn to drive until after they were married. Dean tried to teach her but this ended in a bickering newlywed disaster. She went to a driving school instead.

As a kid it was confusing, didn't all your relatives have the same last name? Ruth had mostly brothers (one being the aforementioned husband to Aunt Esther) and on Dean's side the sister we visited most, as luck with have it, married uncle D. Warden. "The Wardens this, the Wardens that," says Ruth in the car as we make the twice (at least) monthly drive to see Grandma (Dad's mom) in Newton, ninety minutes west of Cedar Rapids. My six year old ears heard "wardens," small w,. and I just assumed the Brunners and the Davises (Dad's sisters' families) were occupations I hadn't heard of yet. Adding to this clusterfuck of nomeclature was the fact that there remained in my day my dad's mom, my mom's dad, and his second wife, after being widowed much too early, who we just called Mayme. No need to differentiate between Granpa Williams and Grandpa Williams for me.

And it must have been habit, Dean being the last of her five children to marry, that Besse didn't give a second thought to address herself, in her letters to Ruth, as Mother W. or Mother Williams.

Ruth Williams and Dean Williams met in high school and continued to see each other as Ruth went to teachers college and Dean went to war. And on May 14, 1944 they got married. And were together for the rest of their lives. And saved a lot of stuff.

Next time at All My Stuff, the WCW papers...

[calypso-finale]

Ninety Eight.

Looking at my watch and sighing out, this interview better wrap up soon because I have to pick up Aziel by four from nursery “why you just looked at your watch like that for? You are so rude” Ashley said which made me laugh “this guy is live on the radio, and he is sat here looking at his watch, I have only asked you two questions? Bro what” trying to not laugh too much “I was just making sure you are working on the right timing” he shook his head “where you going brother? You just released an album and you already tired” sitting up on the chair “I won’t say tired, I was checking I am on time to pick up my son from the nursery, you don’t know my son. London traffic too, it’s hard you know” Ashley laughed “I have seen the videos of your son, I was looking at the one where you was in Guyana, and he’s sat there and he said I don’t know you” I chuckled “yeah, that is my erm, grandad. He can’t comprehend that he is so dark, and I am white, he won’t accept it. Then he sees my dad and he thinks sometimes he is my friend; I tell him look I missed the dark gene that is your grandad and that is your great grandad, and he goes no. He is a stubborn child” shaking my head “it made me laugh because he just stared at him and he said no, as soon as he said to him we family. I was like nah, this kid is clever. He walks around like your bodyguard too, he’s moving crazy” nodding my head “yeah he does, he’s very bright like that. He goes to his mom I love you mom, but I don’t love no girl, and she is like I think he is hanging with the boys too much. I mean which he does. He’s part of the gang generally” I said “what you saying about the baby mother? You still single or you lowkey?” I busted out laughing “nah, nah we strictly co-parents. I am single as it is, I am not doing anything. Women play too much, I think I just want to concentrate on this release and my son, that is it. I uhm, I came from the hood so to me I don’t know what love is but I do now, and my love for my son is like no other, I adore him and I can’t wait to see him, it’s crazy. But I just want to be there for him and yeah” I shrugged “but you want a girl right? Like you can’t be single all your life” he is pushing “your son is four you would want more kids?” rubbing the back of my head “I am scarred from women bro, I can’t tell you anything else” he laughed nodding his head “I get it, you know what. You’re a cool guy and I am so glad you are with us still, let’s give it up for Central Cee” the studio clapped, looking around me smiling “thank you” put me on the spot there.

I am slightly late; I knew I would be late for him, but that London traffic is nasty work always. You can be a billionaire and still be stuck that traffic, we all suffer together in that bitch. Ybeez is with me waiting in the car, the school buzzed me in so I can get him. I am taking him France straight after, I have a few events there and his mom is already there, I have had him for a week and I am going France, she is there so we will swap over there. Ever since the whole New Year party and what was said, things have been good with us, but I also feel like we have become close as co-parents, but I miss her, she is well, and she is doing her thing. She is working hard; she is constantly here and there. We just take it in turns, I know that her parents are in France too because it’s her mom birthday, but she said her mom refuses to leave the house because she loves it too much, but she eventually went which is good because Rylee did say it was driving her crazy, but we get along good now, I just feel a little different about things. It’s like why couldn’t you be that when we was together, it’s hard when you love someone. Looking through the window, Aziel is not happy with me, the lady opened the door “sorry, are you the last one?” I asked “yes!” he just spat “sorry” I apologised “it’s ok, not to worry. We give parents until five and once that time does go then we start calling but Aziel wanted to leave now, didn’t you?” he just shrugged “he loves shrugging” he got that from me “I think that is my fault when I don’t give him an answer I shrug, come” waving him over.

We could go on a plane, but I opted to ferry it across, I mean it’s easier just to get a driver and go there “put your hood up” I said to him as we onto the deck “cold!” he spat “I know it’s cold, that’s why I said it. Let’s see for a little bit and then go in” he ran into me, picking him up “wait up” Wyge said behind me “come” I said, “oh now you’re kissing my cheek, you was busy saying I am not nice” he cheesed at me “France is a family occasion” Wyge laughed “oh god yeah, I know. When Ybeez said there is events there at the same time I was like huh, but then it flows because he can be given to his mom and she is coming back” Aziel pointed “water!” he spat “yeah baby, all that water but I feel it” I admitted “missing her?” nodding my head “I miss her like crazy bro and I can’t lie, When she said those words to me, I felt like yeah thank you and I believe you but why couldn’t you be that person I wanted, she is the person I want but like I don’t want to push for it. She is really in her zone; she is doing so well so I don’t want to pry into that. When I see these girls, like I went on that date with that girl. I tried, she was just giving let me suck your dick and we good, like she wanted sex the first night. I am like we being classy? Like you was good and now you moving mad. Then find out she is connected to Kenza, bro, women and me are done” he snorted laughing “she brazy though, like when you showed me her. She was fire, but that fake type fire. She wasn’t natural and I know you like natural, and I know you feel that with Rylee, so you did it and you didn’t like it. I would have fucked her though” shaking my head “it’s hard because after the Kenza thing, she scarred me, women lie and I was put through shit because of this. Going to appointments for a child that isn’t mine, it’s fucking mind blowing she let that happen and she text me saying sorry, all the time she does but no, I forgive her, but I don’t want to know” I feel she has scarred me from women “but I will try, see how things go and happen, your heart wants what your heart wants” I shrugged.

Sitting in the reception area waiting on Ybeez to check us in, that journey is tiring I can’t lie but I rather just drive here, maybe it’s just me. I am tired, I am tired of thinking. I am always thinking, I have to do that shit. I feel at times I have the side effects from all the medications from Cancer, I still get that hit of tiredness. I hate thinking about it but it happened and it happened to me “imagine you have a stalker” looking behind me “mommy” Aziel jumped up, I pulled a face “what are you doing here?” I asked “my hotel, that is what” I laughed “oh is it, oh man. Well you can have Aziel back now, hey” waving at Halle “assistant Halle” she pulled a face at me “watch your mouth now” I chuckled “it’s a career break bitch!” she is funny “oh if I knew Rylee was here I would have saved getting a room for you” Ybeez is so cringe “bro” I said “I am serious, I am in this hotel too. You did this on purpose” I scoffed “you wish, I ain’t do anything on purpose” shaking my head “touchy now” getting up from the seat “you want me to have him still?” I asked “yeah, tomorrow I will have him back. I have a meal with some important people, so I need to just prepare for that” nodding my head, tilting my head to the side and utter silence just hit between us “yeah” I just looked away “I uhm” Rylee put her head down “Aziel, you’re with me tonight, we will go and see some French people and harass them tonight” Halle giggled “can I join?” I sniggered “you have your private meal” I said grabbing my backpack “she does, I don’t! nigga I am not Rylee, fucking call me bitch” she walked off “she bad!” Wyge laughed, Halle does not give a fuck about anything.

“Bonjour! Oui Oui” I pointed at Halle phone as I walked by “you ruined my video, why does this man do this!” She complained, turning to the Eiffel Tower “wasn’t this built because the guy loved his girl?” I pointed “huh!?” Halle said, pointing at it “this was built for his love” looking at Halle “oh the rocks in your brain right now, you mean the Taj Mahal, nah!!! You peak” I groaned out and I can’t help but laugh “oh man, don’t post that” Halle is howling laughing “nah, nah. Listen, don’t piss me off I was joking” Wyge is laughing at me too “I was confused, I had weed. I had a joint, please don’t post that” Halle is crying with laughter “I feel dumb now, shit” I am so mad at myself for even speaking like a dumbass “please don’t post that” she is crying laughing “Aziel your dad is fucking dumb!!! Oh my god! Bro, please why would a guy build this for his love?” I am getting clowned now “I didn’t know the name, I just assumed” she wiped her tears “my god, my make up is a mess. But bro, please. Use your brain, a fucking tower. If my guy did that I would leave him” side eyeing her “it’s the fact you meant this, you was dead serious, this is what is getting me but I’m calm now” I hate being laughed at “Wyge, shut up” I said to him, he turned away from me “Oakley, you going to build one for your love?” Of course she got her phone out “yeah in the middle of Shepherd’s Bush, big tower” she sniggered “you are so dumb, I love it” side eyeing her, I really put myself out there “so that thing in India yeah? I don’t know geography I failed that shit” Halle cackled “I really need you to shut up, I’m going to be doing a compilation of clips, from your dumbness” I smiled shaking my head “why would you say that out loud, embarrassing” I don’t know who asked Wyge to speak “bro fuck off” Halle is still crying “stay away from my nephew, this guy is dumb” shaking my head “how about you both leave me alone, I get it” Halle cooed out “I’m sorry pooks” walking off “jarring!” I spat, I should be quiet because now they keep laughing at me and I deserve it but still, they can stop now.

Reaching my hand over and wiping Aziel face “Oakley, brother” looking at Halle and then her phone “nah you been taking piss out of me, she’s a pagan” I pointed “don’t play me” shaking my head “you live?” I think she is “I am, be nice” looking at the screen of her live “I don’t think I should be on here, making your views go up, you know they on here for me” Halle side eyed me “oh please, anyways. Give me an interview?” She is a trip “nope, you can come off that too, appreciate the love but Halle is off this” I reached off and taking it off “you rude as shit, but I was joking. I wanted to ask, how you feeling after everything? You know with Rylee” letting out an oh “erm, I guess it’s just what it is. I can’t change it, but like it did kind of throw me off, not like I liked how she was. But I didn’t think she would cut me off like that, cutting me off to progress and make herself a better person for the next man, it was shit” I shook my head laughing “oh you really not happy, I get where you’re coming from. But that doesn’t stop you from both getting to know each other again? She was just giving that space, don’t feel that way. Honestly, like I said to her I don’t think it’s over but do it. I think it’s her way of freeing herself too, but I get how you feel too” I kissed my teeth “just shit, like I’m not mad with her. We move and I appreciate she apologised and we good but in my heart, if that was me. I would say look I want you, and I do want you, but you give me time and I’ll be back. And all she did was say go and do you and I am going to make myself the better me for next man” Halle’ mouth fell open “you men flip it, it’s never that. So you what, you wanted her back?” She spat “well I assumed that eventually we would be together, I love girl. It’s not no fake shit, I ain’t letting her go like that. You rebuild yourself for next man? Come on Halle, it’s bullshit” Halle chuckled “oh you men, but that’s not the problem. Like be friends again, nobody is stopping it but let it be better, you know what I mean” nodding my head, I sound so pissed but I was, well I think I am still.

Watching Aziel as he is stood just staring and watching people “are you mad with me? Like with everything” placing my drink down “not mad just you asked, and I answered, I’m not bitter and I’m so happy for her but I think maybe she could have said yeah it’s open but I’m not going to go and chase, she is closed off so allow it” Halle groaned out “what you mean allow it? Nigga please I beg, you need to stop this foolishness. I don’t think Rylee will ever be closed off, it’s you, if you asked her out on a date she would be there. She has done so much shit to you and she feels so bad, she was nasty. Realistically she has been. I think you need to not think of it as that and think you know what we can change” I shook my head “there isn’t a we, maybe I am selfish or delusional. I said you have to be delusional to be in love and I am, just leave it. And please keep it to yourself” Halle scoffed “Oakley, I think you’re taking it the wrong way” I rolled my eyes “you never saw that video, I have that shit engraved in my mind. Seeing Rylee call for me, she wanted me. She said my name, so her letting me go wasn’t in a vocab, you right I am upset but that is because I seen that and I seen how she feels and really when she flipped the script I was stumped, you just don’t get it. Because you didn’t see that” I snapped again, I need to shut up “you still have the videos?” she asked “nah, I deleted it because it’s wrong, but it’s engraved in my mind. Allow it though, please. Let’s move on” Halle and I just beefing in the middle of this eatery “we cool though yeah?” nodding my head “always Halle, just a disagreement” I smiled at her.

Aziel is knocked out asleep in my bed, as soon as he got ready for bed and his head hit the pillow he fell asleep, I am tired too actually. Picking up his top from the floor, he is a mess. My ears perked up as there is a knock on the door, making my way to the door. Looking through the peephole and I pulled a face, what is Rylee even doing here and how did she know I was here. I am thinking a lot of things, but I just need to open the door, opening the door slowly “how you know my room?” I asked “no hi or anything” she laughed “oh I was just asking” stood against the door so it won’t close “Halle told me, it’s just a quick one. I want to speak to you because it’s on my mind. So I had my meeting and it’s to do with my future, like Fendi just wanted me to be strictly theirs but it’s becoming where I can model for others, I was speaking to Dior and I am walking for them then they told the latter of the news, they are trying to aim for like the urban audience or whatever. I am walking alongside, nothing big but it’s with Digga and I wanted to tell you because I know you had trouble with him or whatever” turning my head sniggering “it would be him out of everyone, I mean what do you want me to say. You’re not involved so it’s not like it’s anything to do with you. We ain’t together but are you ok to be there?” she nodded her head “I just wanted to let you know but I wish it wasn’t him” I huffed out “yeah, thanks” least she told me “I am tired so I better go in” Rylee nodded her head “I will have Aziel tomorrow then” she said “yeah” turning around, I can’t stand that guy and now he is walking with her “goodnight” I didn’t look back, I just let the door close. I am pissed off, but I couldn’t show her that, it’s just shit for me because that guy is my opp.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Bad Boy Masterlist

"Ah, sorry Doll." (ao3) - cliff0rd michael/luke T, 4k

Summary: Luke is a shy, quiet boy who works in a small Café and Bad boy Mikey just loves seeing him blush.

Arthurian Romances (ao3) - therjolras michael/ashton T, 5k

Summary: Ashton's in a bit of a tangle when he's rescued by a purple-haired knight-in-leather-jacket.

baby i'm gonna drink you in like oxygen (ao3) - booksteaandcake luke/ashton N/R, 1k

Summary: bad boy ashton has taken young luke hemmings under his wing. it's kind of a surprise when they sleep together... but also not a surprise at all.

'“I’m not wrecking you.” Ashton scoffed, “I’m going to take care of you.”'

do the things that you'd only read about (ao3) - heartbreakgirl michael/luke N/R, 5k

Summary: When he looks over, Michael's eyes are open and he's grinning from ear to ear.

“I love you.”

He smiles shyly, eyes rolling fondly. “I love you too, Michael.”

or, book worm Luke & bad boy Michael

every now and then the stars align (ao3) - merlypops luke/calum E, 3k

Summary: 'The sheer force of the love unfurling in Luke’s chest took his breath away often but he liked it that way, liked being reminded by his pulse thundering in his veins that Calum was his, and that he loved Luke back.'

Calum gets in trouble a lot, Luke's had a bad life, and Calum would do anything to keep him safe. Anything at all.

Feeling Naughty (ao3) - im_just_a_sucker_for_bromance michael/calum E, 2k

Summary: Calum is giving himself too much freedom and Michael is mad. Now, it's up to Calum make it up to him.

fight so dirty but your love's so sweet (ao3) - softirwin luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 11k

Summary: Luke hates a good ninety-five percent of his job.

A solid thirty percent of that comes from the fact that he works as a receptionist at a hotel, which he thinks is possibly the most thankless job humanity could possibly have created. A further ten comes from the fact that his desk is right next to the kitchen, meaning mouth-watering smells are constantly wafting under his nose, and Luke’s not allowed to eat on shift.

Fifty-five percent of it, though, is Ashton.  

-

written for the prompt 'lashton bad boy'

Have Faith In This Fragile World (ao3) - SilentlyFighting michael/calum, luke/ashton N/R, 19k

Summary: Michael Clifford is well known in his school, not for being popular, far from it, he is the nerd. The goody-two-shoes hasn't had the best past but his peers do not know this and a couple of the football team decide that he is their next target. A mysterious group of boys make an appearance, saving him multiple times, and when Michael runs out of money to buy food, they even find ways to get him food.

The boys do not scare him that much but they certainly catch his attention. Michael learns the names of two of the boys but the leader is set to keep his identity a secret. But, when Michael has another run in with the football team and they use him as bait, will the boys identity reveal itself?

Mr. H (ao3) - jeepies luke/ashton G, 3k

Summary: Luke is The Joker and Ashton is Harley Quinn

Pull Up in Your Fast Car Whistlin' My Name (ao3) - blakecoffeeandcigarettes luke/ashton E, 3k

Summary: "What seems to be the problem officer?" Luke asked, making sure to raise his voice a couple of octaves higher as he fiddled with the hem of his dress, revealing the hot pink, lace edge of his panties.

say you want me and dont be nice (send those shivers running down my spine) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum N/R, 5k

Summary: :+: Calum and Michael are in gangs, and when Calum gets slightly turned on by the gun in Michael's hands, things get dirty :+:

snap backs and tattoos (ao3) - crankgameplays michael/calum N/R, 3k

Summary: Calum Hood is 16, almost 17, when hes warned to stay away from Michael Clifford. His dad catches a gaze of him from the kitchen window and hes got a new tattoo that's wrapped around his pale arm and there's tufts of pink hair peeking out from his snap back and oh my fucking god is that a fucking eyebrow piercing. Calum has died and gone to heaven. Or hell. Maybes hes being a little dramatic. Whatever. But his dad turns to him and he goes,

"Calum, I want you to stay away from that Clifford boy," pointing a finger in the direction of his son. "Hes no good." And Calum nods and mumbles, yes dad, and walks to his room and that's that.

But really. No one ever listens to their dads.

We're like noughts and crosses (ao3) - emptygoldss michael/calum G, 1k

Summary: it’s like Michael’s made of glass and Calum turns him to sand.

Yeah, I Want You Baby (ao3) - flowercrownmikey michael/luke M, 4k

Summary: "That what you wanna do, princess? Fuck the delinquent right outta me?"

OR// Officer! Luke and Bad Boy! Michael.