#night vale medical board

[sleepygaymerdisease]

"and now, the news. today some people are trying to pass legislation to ban our mandatory vape sessions. they claim that it is, quote, 'dangerous to smoke' and 'an activity that will diminish your lifespan.' but im not sure about that, folks. i mean, what's so dangerous about it? it is a perfectly fine and normal thing to vape the fuzz off tennis balls. and look at it! it's so soft and fuzzy. it's like putting a pillow on your lungs. :) speaking of which, the night vale medical board announced that you can now get pillow-lung surgeries"

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

WTNV quick rundown - The Novel -

This is the post talking about randon Night Vale/King City and Man in the Tan Jacket facts!

Basic Plot of the Novel is here. Diane, Josh and Jackie random facts here. NV citizens random facts here.

The history of the town of Night Vale is long and complicated, reaching back thousands of years to the earliest indigenous people in the desert. We will cover none of this here. […] It is a friendly desert community, where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful and mysterious lights past overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale.

In NV, pharmacists wear gas masks and hip waders.

Hearts in NV are made of straw and clay and grow at age 9 or at least that's what they're taught.

Manual transmission works like this: 1 - whisper a secret into the cup holder, 2 - grab the clutch (a splintered wooden stake driven into the dashboard), 3 - shake it till something happens whilst taping a series of code numbers into a keyboard on the steering wheel.

Not yielding to a hooded figure will cause a mandatory city-wide ennui.

Encrypted radio pulses announce the opening of 'Lenny's Bargain House of Garden Wares'. As well as the titular function the government will also be unloading failed machines, tests and dangerous substances. The shop is being built on the site where the government was previously doing said tests. If you go to the grand opening sale and find 8 government secrets you get an 'free' government kidnapping and personality reassignment.

To protect against identity theft, Cecil recommends changing your passwords often, wearing a mask in public, blacking out your door number with black spraypaint and 'never ending up on a database'.

The 'Absurd Bowl' and 'Knife Ball' are events that happen in NV.

The NV job market is apparently very scarce as the hooded figures do most of the jobs in NV.

Here is what else we know about the MITTJ. He has a belt which is a darker brown than his shoes. His hair is recently cut. His face is clean and smooth. His teeth are almost white and his left upper bicuspid is a little further forward than the others.

The Moonlite diner has mugs from different sources, some of which leave strange sounds or hum. It has cracked red stools which smell of rubber and sawdust. It's pies are described as 'ok' and some are invisible. Food is served by a grey hand which extends from under the table and should not be acknowledged.

Most people in NV have no idea what doctors do only that it's rumoured to be beneficial. The hospital in NV is built next to the abandoned mine. Hospital rooms are full of cameras and speakers asking you to ask your doctor invasive questions. It was closed years ago and is no longer run by any recognised medical professionals or beings that are or were ever alive.

There are several spy satellites scanning citizens brains and revealing their thoughts. For some reason, Cecil has access to some of these.

'No country for old men' is a kids film in NV. They also have a 'popular animated franchise' about trees with human organs inside who are being cut down until vengeful arboreal spirits eviscerate the loggers. Lee Marvin is in it.

NV is confirmed to be somewhere in SW california.

Childrens friends are assigned by City Council decree based on the numerology of each child's name.

Hot milk drawers are a thing, also all avocados in NV are fake.

Metallic trees that change size each day are considered the plants most suited for a desert climate.

The NV cinema has nightly screenings of John Frankenheimes 1973 'the Iceman Cometh'. Popcorn prices are linked to the coal market.

There is a 'Top Secret Censorship Board' run by a guy called Luis who judges each film based on the risk of being shown a forbidden idea or gesture.

Having a regular police was see as too dangerous as knowledge of them could somehow be used against NV. The previous police were renamed the 'Secret Police', driving dark red sedans with gold racing stripes, black 7-pointed stars with the words 'Secret Police' on the cars side. They also wear capes and have a blowgun belt.

When writing tickets, these officers are required to describe the nature of the sunlight at the time of the infraction in verse.

You can only petition a speeding ticket if you go to city hall, so most people just pay the ticket, even if they're given one when they're not in a car.

Some magazine articles in NV; "10 ways to redecorate your bloodstone circle", "How to lose weight without losing sight of your own mortality" and "A cake recipe that only people who hate our government will want to try so mail us your best pictures of making it and we will take you away."

Some doors in NV require you to bleed on them to open.

There is an annual Imaginary Corn Festival and Fun Fair. There is a costume contest sponsored by the NV daily journal (dress as the decline of the printed word) where winners will not be forced to sign up for a several subscriptions to the journal.

The NV version of a Greek Salad is fruit and pumice stones.

The NV tourism board has a brochure with the tagline 'A town full of hidden evils and the secretly malevolent' featuring a picture of a diverse group of townfolk smiling and looking at the camera in the windowless prison they will be kept in until enough tourists visit NV to buy their release.

Aside from known eateries, there's also apparently places called 'Shame' and 'Pieces O' Grass' and 'Missing Frog Salad Bar' (which serves orangemilk and salad' in NV.

NV knowledges says the only known book on European history was a pamphlet on Svitz which was burnt by the 'Book Cleansers' because they mistook the giraffe on the front for a handgun.

It is illegal in NV to not have some kind of tracking device on you at all times. Most people choose a mobile phone but some still wear bulky tracking collars.

Most planes in NV are private, propeller, secret military drones and government planes used to make chemtrails.

The world government all wear blue headphones and horn-rimmed glasses.

Flamingos in NV are creatures that have six legs and double beaks.

Most bath gel or greeting card stores in NV have a full staff of bleeding saleclerks.

NV city hall is topped with ancient volcanic stone towers.

There is a service called 'Lifelock' in NV where they just lock you up and destroy all records of you existing to 'protect you from identity theft, impersonation, assassination, assignations and memory removal'.

Larry Leroy finds these things out in the desert: a metallic sphere that fell from the sky and whistles softly as if bored, his double, the body of the main in the pinstripe suit and a new way of breathing. The main in the pinstripe suit btw, goes through an existential crisis during the novel, cumulating in him trying to touch the planet of awesome size and then, death.

KC is a small town of little over 10,000 people in Monterey County. It's newspaper is called the KC rustler. Citizens include Wanda Nieves and Ynez.

The post office in KC is a one-storey stucco building with no front door, a splintered parapet walls with missing letters on it's marquee and a tree that has grown through the broken sidewalk and into one of the many shattered windows.

There's a 'video store' which only contains tall shelves full of loose tapes, some labelled and some not. Some shelves are densely packed, others nearly empty. The labels are handwritten and some simply have rows of x's, j's, p's etc. The walls at the back are made of mud and are easily pulled away to reveal a different room behind it. There's a music store containing a woman on a chair who pulls a face at Jackie/Diane. A bait shop where the empty jars keep exploding and cutting the man working there. A phone shop where the salesclerk doesn't remember ever having a customer before.

The flies that the MITTJ sells form a protective cloud in front of him whenever he is threatened.

The copier in the KC city hall is endlessly printing, so that there's stacks of paper everywhere. The receptionist is typing on a computer which is actually just a carved block of wood painted to look like a computer.

KC has a Taco Bell which people would stop off at on their way to either a town called Greenfield of a state wildlife area.

Stay tuned next for the sound of a creaking spine and the soft collapse of paper onto itself.

[wtnvcrossword]

WTNV - Ep 173 - The Hundred Year Play

Across

2. The name of the true crime podcast Cecil started was called “Bloody Laws, Bloody ___: The Murder of Frank Chen”

7. As an intern what did Cecil paint on Station Management’s doors as part of a ritual of the slumbering ancients? (plural)

9. Frank Chen’s body was found covered in claw marks and what? (plural)

12. The Judge indicated she would issue her ruling within how many years?

13. What forms the squelching mud of sentience?

14. What did Hannah Hershman do at the end of the play?

15. Night Vale Medical Board said listeners must suck dry the what?

16. How many changes of judges had there been in the trial?

17. Cecil was first present on which night of the 100 year play?

18. Changes of venue for the trial were due to some attacks by what creatures? (plural)

Down

1. What is the name of the judge in the case “The Estate of Franklin Chen vs. the City of Night Vale”.

3. On Thursday Josh Crayton would be taking the form of what so that neighborhood kids may swim in him?

4. The family of Frank Chen want the appropriate parties, in this case the city of Night Vale, Hiram McDaniels, and an ___ conception of God, to take responsibility for their part in Frank’s death.

5. The trial had been going on for how many months?

6. All oceans are one ocean that we have arbitrarily categorized by what?

7. The Night Vale Players Playhouse had what kind of problem with the venue?

8. Cecil’s best tux had scales and what kind of canon?

9. In the play, one actor said, “We… are… all of us… moved… by time.  Not… one of us dies… in the world… we were ___ into.”

10. The trial included spirited what performed by the playhouse performers in between their work on the hundred year play? (plural)

11. In the play, Mr. Spreckle, the gardener, murdered the victim with what kind of venomous animal?

[colinrobinsonscardigan]

Night Vale Episode 10: the night vale medical board has issued a new study indicating that you have a spider somewhere on your body at all times.

Me, an intellectual: this factoid actualy just statistical error. average person has 0 spiders on their body at all times. Spiders Georg, who lives in a cave & is covered in 10,000 spiders at all times, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

[badpodcastcrossovers]

Some Podcasts as Welcome to Night Vale Quotes

Because I can. These are just the ones I could find quotes for, or that I'm subscribed to, so I may post an updated version later.

The Magnus Archives: There’s no cause for concern. We’re way past that now. If you’re not feeling mild terror then you haven’t been paying attention

The Penumbra Podcast (Junoverse): It is the good and the bad. It is the sound of the world. A world that will kill you, but also a world that will allow you to live

Wolf 359: I come to you live from under my desk, where I dragged my microphone and am currently hiding in the fetal position.

Archive 81: *static* *rising tones* *abrupt end of episode*

Eos 10: The Night Vale Medical Board announced today that they can’t help you. Not if you’re gonna keep screaming like that! They also asked that you clean up a bit before you come in. They don’t want to get sick!

Death by Dying: Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you

Stellar Firma: We have nothing to fear except ourselves. We are unholy, awful people. Fear ourselves with silence. Look down, look down, and forget what you've done.

Brimstone Valley Mall: There’s a special place in Hell. It’s really hip. Very exclusive.

Ars PARADOXICA: Time is weird. So is space. I hope ours match again someday

The Amelia Project: if you see something, say nothing and drink (cocoa) to forget

Startripper!!: Space tip: bring a sweater

The Orbiting Human Circus (of the air): I'm a single issue voter. If the candidate is not a baby polar bear, I straight up cannot vote for them.

[itslivefromnightvale]

There are butterflies in our stomachs. 

The Night Vale Medical Board states that they are still unsure how these winged insects manifested inside our stomachs, but they promise that they will find a way to remove them, hopefully safely, hopefully soon. They advise all citizens with butterflies in their stomachs to keep their mouths closed tight, lest they attract throat spiders. 

[wt-nv-quotes]

The Night Vale Medical Board has issued a new study indicating that you have a spider somewhere on your body at all times but especially now.

[eelhound]

"The Night Vale Medical Board would like to remind you that soil is not technically food.

While we all agree that soil is delicious, a lovely rich texture with the zippy crunch of pebbles and bird bones. A loamy flavor that connects directly to the region’s terroir. A taste that can be best described as unmistakably earthy with undertones of grass and a slight woodiness from the tree roots. And it’s definitely sustainable, there’s gobs of the stuff everywhere, waiting for you to scoop up and cram into your mouth.

But, the Night Vale Medical Board is disappointed to remember, soil is not actually consumable. Even if you want to, said the Medical Board. Even if you really, really want to. Like oh my god, just let me at that soil, you know! joked the Medical Board. Only it kind of also wasn’t a joke at the same time. Just kidding, unless you’re into it. In which case, the Medical Board said, we can eat soil. We’ll do it if you’ll do it. Totally a joke, but also we are completely down.

This has been a public health announcement."

- Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor, from Welcome to Night Vale, ep. 186.

[the-night-vale-daily-journal]

The Night Vale Medical Board announced today that they can't help you. Not if you're going to keep screaming like that.

Welcome to Night Vale / Episode 23: Eternal Scouts

[cecilspeaks]

173 - The Hundred Year Play

Quoth the raven: [bird noises] Welcome to Night Vale.

Listeners, some exciting news from the world of theatre! The 100 year play is about to reach its final scene. Yes, this is the play that has been running continuously since 1920. Written by a brilliant playwright Hannah Hershman, designed to take exactly 100 years to perform. And the tireless volunteer of the Night Vale Players Playhouse have been going through those scenes, one after another, for decade upon decade. There’s little time to rehearse, for each hour brings new scenes and each scene will only be performed once the play moves on, in order to keep up with the tight schedule needed to execute the entire script before a century elapses.

It is a monumental work of theatre, but like all work, it must some day cease. Today, specifically. I will be in attendance at that historic moment, when the final scene is performed and the curtain closes on the 100 year play.   More soon, but first the news.

We bring you the latest on the lawsuit “The estate of Franklin Chen vs. the city of Night Vale”. As you know, this case has grown so large and complicated that I’ve not had the time to discuss it in my usual community radio broadcasts. But instead, have started a true crime podcast called “Bloody Laws, Bloody Claws: The Murder of Frank Chen”, in which I strive to get to the truth of just what happened on that fateful night when five-headed dragon Hiram McDaniels met Frank Chen, and then later Frank Chen’s body was found covered in burns and claw marks. It’s a confounding mystery. The Sheriff’s Secret Police announce that it seems really complicated and they’re not even gonna try to solve that sucker. “Oh, what?” a Secret Police spokesman muttered at an earthworm he found in his garden. “You want us to fail? You wanna see us fail? That’s why you want us to investigate this case, to see us fail at it?” The family of Frank Chen say they merely want the appropriate parties, in this case the city of Night Vale, Hiram McDaniels and an omniscient conception of God, to take responsibility for their part in this tragedy. The trial is now in its 10th month, and has included spirited re-enactments of the supposed murder by helpful Players Playhouse performers in between their work on the 100 year play. 3 changes of judge and venue due to “some dragon attacks and constant interruptions from a local audio journalist, who hosts a widely respected true crime podcast”. Still, with all this, we near a verdict. Judge Chaplin has indicated she will issue her ruling soon. “Like in the next year or so?” she said. “Certainly within 5 years. Listen, I don’t owe you a verdict, just because you’re paying me to do a job, you can’t rush me to do it. The verdict will be done when. It’s. Done.” Chaplin then huffed out of the courtroom followed by journalists shouting recommendations for episodes of their podcast to listen to.

I was present, you know, on opening night of the 100 year play. Ah, how the theatre buzzed! Of course this was partly the audience, thrilled to be at the start of such an unprecedented work, but mostly – it was the insects. The Night Vale Players Playhouse had quite a pest problem at the time, and still does. It’s difficult to do pest control when there is a 100 year long play being performed on stage at every hour of every day. The curtain opened those many years ago on a simple set of a studio apartment,  a kitchen, a cot, a window overlooking a brick wall. A man sits in the corner deep in thought. A doorbell rings. “Come in, it’s open,” the man says. A woman enters, flustered. She is holding a newborn. “There’s been a murder!” she says. “The victim was alone in a room, and all the doors and windows were locked. “My god!” the man says and springs up. “Who could have done this, and how?!” the woman tells him: “It turns out to be the gardener, Mr. Spreckle. He served with the victim in the war and never could forgive him for what happened there. He threw a venomous snake through an air vent.” The man sits back down, nodding. “Aah! So the mystery is solved.” As a playwright, Hannah Hershman did not believe in stringing up mysteries a second longer than was necessary. The baby in the woman’s arm stirs. “Shush, shush little one!” the woman says. The man looks out the window where he cannot see the sky. “It might look like rain,” he says. “Who knows?” Thus began a journey of 100 years.

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s episode is sponsored by the Night Vale Medical Board, which would like to remind you that it is important to drink enough water throughout the day. Drink more water! Your body cannot function without water. Without water, you are just dust made animate. Water forms the squelching mud of sentience. Try to have at least ten big glasses of water. Not over the entire day, right now. See if you can get all ten of them down. Explore the capacity of your stomach. See if you can make it burst. You will either feel so much better, or an organ will explode and you will day painfully. And either one is more interesting than the mundane now. You should drink even more water than that. Wander out of your door, search the Earth for liquids. Find a lake and drain the entire thing, until the bottom feeders flop helplessly on the flatlands. Laugh slushingly as you look upon the destruction you have wrought. The power that you possess now that you are well hydrated. Move on from the lake and come to the shore of an ocean. All oceans are one ocean that we have arbitrarily categorized by language. The sea knows no separation, and neither will you when you lay belly down on the sand, put your lips against the waves and guzzle the ocean. The ocean is salty. It will not be very hydrating, so you’ll need to drink a lot of it. Keep going until the tower tops of Atlantis see sky again for the first time in centuries, until the strange glowing creatures of the deep-deep are exposed, splayed out from their bodies now that they no longer have the immense pressure of the ocean depths to keep their structure intact. And once you have drunk the oceans, turn your eyes to the stars. For there is water out there too, and you must suck dry the universe. This has been a message from the Night Vale Medical Board.

20 years passed without me thinking about the 100 year play. You know how it is. One day you’re an intern at the local radio station doing all the normal errands like getting coffee and painting pentacles upon Station Management doors as part of the ritual of the slumbering ancients. Then 20 years passes and everything is different for you. Your boss is gone and now you are a host of the community radio station, and there are so many new responsibilities and worries and lucid nightmares in which you explore a broken landscape of colossal ruins. So with all of that, I just kind of forgot the 100 year play was happening. But they were toiling away in there, doing scenes around the clock, building and tearing down sets at a frantic pace, trying to keep up with the script that relentlessly went on, page after page. And sometimes one of the people working on the play would wonder: how does this all end? But before they could flip ahead and look, there would be another scene that had to be performed and they wouldn’t have a chance. So no one knew how it ended. No one except Hannah Hershman, the mysterious author of this centennial play.

Soon after becoming radio host, during the reading of a Community Calendar, I was reminded that the play was still going on, and so decided to check in. I put on my best tux, you know it’s the one with the scales and the confetti canon. And then took myself to a night at the theatre. I can’t say what happened in the plot since that first scene, but certainly much had transpired. We were now in a space colony thousands of years from now, and the set was simple, just some sleek chairs and a black backdrop dotted with white stars of paint. A woman was giving a monologue about the distance she felt between the planet she was born on, which I believe was supposed to be Earth, and the planet she now stood on. I understood from what she was saying that the trip she had taken to this planet was one way, and that she would never return to the place she was born. “We… are… all of us… moved… by time,” she whispered in a cracked, hoarse voice. “Not… one of us dies… in the world… we were born into.” Sitting in my seat in that darkened theatre, I knew two facts with certainty. The first was that this woman had been giving a monologue for several days now. She wavered on her feet, speaking the entire four hours that I was there. And I don’t know how much longer she spoke after I left, but it could have been weeks. She was pale and her voice was barely audible, but there was something transfixing about it, and the audience sat in perfect silence, leaning forward to hear her words. The other fact I understood was that this woman was the newborn from the very first scene. Not just the same character, but the same actor. 20 years later, she was still on that stage, still portraying the life to the child we had been introduced to in the opening lines. She was an extraordinary performer, presumably, having had a literal lifetime of practice. And that was the last time I saw the play, until tonight, when I will go to watch the final scene.

But first, let’s have a look at that Community Calendar. Tonight the school board is meeting to discuss the issues of school lunches. It seems that some in power argue that it isn’t enough that for some reason we charge the kids actual money for these lunches. They argue that the students should also be required to give devotion and worship to a great glowing cloud, whose benevolent power will fill their lives with purpose. Due to new privacy rules, we cannot say which member of the school board made this suggestion. The board will be taking public comment in a small flimsy wooden booth out by the highway. Just enter the damp, dark interior and whisper your comment, and it will be heard. Perhaps not by the school board, but certainly by something.

Tuesday morning, Lee Marvin will be offering free acting classes at the rec center. The class is entitled “Acting is just lying. We’ll teach you how acting is just saying things that aren’t true, with emotions you don’t feel, so that you may fool those watching with these mistruths.” Fortunately, Marvin commented: “Most people don’t want to be told the truth and prefer the quiet comfort of a lie well told.” Classes are pay what you want, starting at 10,000 dollars.

Thursday Josh Crayton will be taking the form of a waterfall in Grove Park, so that neighborhood kids may swim in him. There is not a lot of swimming opportunities in a town as dry as Night Vale, and so this is a generous move on Josh’s part. He has promised that he has been working on the form and has added a water slide and a sunbathing deck. He asks that everyone swim safely and please not leave any trash on him.

Friday, the corn field will appear in the middle of town, right where it does each September, as the air turns cooler and the sky in the west takes on a certain shade of green. The corn field emanates a power electric and awful. Please, do not go into the corn field, as we don’t know what lives in there or what it wants. The City Council would like to remind you that the corn field is perfectly safe. It is perfect and it is safe. 

Finally, Saturday never happened. Not if you know what’s good for you. Got it? This has been the Community Calendar.

Oh! Look at the time. Here I am blathering on and the play is about to end. OK, let me grab my new mini recorder that Carlos got me for my birthday. It’s only 35 pounds and the antenna is a highly reasonable 7 feet. And I’ll see you all there.

Ah. What’s the weather like for my commute?

[Shallow Eyes” by Brad Bensko. https://www.bradbenskomusic.com/]

Carlos and I are at the theatre! The audience is a buzz, with excitement yes, but also many of them are the insects that infest this theatre. The bugs became entranced by the story over the years, passing down through brief generation after brief generation, the history of all that happened before. The story of the play became something of a religion to this creepy crawly civilization. And so now the bugs are jittering on the walls, thrilled to be the generation that gets to see the end of this great tale.

The curtain rises on a scene I recognize well. It is the simple set of a studio apartment. A kitchen, a cot, a window overlooking a brick wall. A man sits in the corner deep in thought. A doorbell rings. “Come on, it’s open,” the man calls. A woman enters. She is very old, tottering unsteadily on legs that have carried for her many many years. “Please take my seat,” the man says with genuine concern. “Thank you,” she says, collapsing with relief onto the cushions and then looking out, as if for the first time, noticing the audience. I know this woman. I first saw her as a baby and later as a 20-year-old. It seems she has lived her whole life on this stage, taking part in this play. “My name,” the woman says, “is Hannah Hershman. I was born in this theatre, clutching a script in my arms that was bigger than I was. My twin, in a way. I started acting in that script of mine before I was even aware of the world. I grew up in that script, lived my entire life in the play I had written from infancy to now.” And she rises, and the man reaches out to help, but she waves him away. She speaks, her- her voice is strong, ringing out through the theatre. “The play ends with my death, because the play is my life. It is bounded by the same hours and minutes that I am.” the audience is rapt, many have tears in their eyes. Even the insects weep. “Thank you for these hundred years,” Hannah Hershman says. “This script is complete.” She walks to the window. “It might look like rain,” she says. “Who knows?” The lights dim.

Thunderous applause, cries of acclaim, and Hannah Hershman dies to the best possible sound a person can hear: concrete evidence of the good they have done in the lives of other humans.

Stay tuned next for the second ever Night Vale Players Playhouse production, now that they finally finished this one. They’re going to do “Godspell”. And from the script of a life I have not yet finished performing, Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Many are called, but few are chosen. And fewer still pick up. Because most calls are spam these days.

[wtnvcrossword]

WTNV - Ep 159 - Cat Show

Across

3. The strange men who arrived in town claimed to be agents of the National ___ Safety Board.

5. Some of Khoshekh’s limb secreted an oil that has what kind of effect?

6. The Night Vale Asylum was located in what part of Night Vale?

9. The missing flight was going from Detroit, Michigan to what city in New York state?

12. What color was Khoshekh’s tail?

14. For last year’s Tour of Lights in Old Town Night Vale, Harrison Kip’s display included what kind of device playing “Ave Maria”?

17. Cecil said that love is, above all else, a what?

18. The agents were investigating a missing flight from what airline?

19. How many rows of teeth does Khoshekh have?

20. Cecil said the four breeds of cat are: long haired, short haired, miscellaneous and what?

Down

1. Which of Khoshekh’s appendages did Cecil describe as “the floofiest”? (plural)

2. One of the strange men had what kind of nose bleed?

4. Intern Simon Peterson told Cecil he had what kind of phobia?

7. Sheriff Sam agreed to assist the agents in what kind of operation?

8. Who (or what) was terribly allergic to cats? (Two words)

10. Intern Simon was tasked to pick up what brand allergy medication?

11. One of the strange men was weeping thick tears that were what color?

13. One of the strange men wore how many wedding rings?

15. What color were Khoshekh’s paws?

16. Last year’s favorite in the Tour of Lights in Old Town Night Vale was a mansion owned by Harrison Kip from what era?

[razorblade180]

Lasting Embers pt18: Brewing Storm

[Blake’s Study]

*giant bookshelves on each side and a skylight up top. A desk with a stack off papers on it with Sun hard at work*

Sun:*wearing reading glasses*.......

“You look good in glasses; so official”

Blake:*wearing nothing but one of his shirts half buttoned up and no pants* You’re up early; I woke up and was surprised you weren’t there.

Sun:Had work that needed to be processed. Almost had it done before our unexpected reunion last night. I wish I was in bed.

Blake:*drapes herself over him* Not surprising, you barely got a wink of sleep last night. *kisses his neck and face*

Sun:*chuckles* Gee I wonder why? *reaches his left hand up to rub her ear.

Blake:*purring* Can you blame me? I spent ten years missing you. I like your new clothes by the way; orange is nice on you.

Sun:Thanks, I was going for a sunset vibe. After all my “moon” wasn’t around to make the tougher decisions. So I had to channel some of my inner Blake hehehe.

Blake:Active High Leader Sun Wukong. Looks like the people don’t even need me. Maybe you should keep the job for good.

Sun:Please don’t joke like that. I don’t know how I’ve kept this thing going for a decade but you can have it all back. I miss being second in command.

Blake:Well it’s a good thing I’m more than happy to be back. *picks up some papers* Is this the report from Illia?

Sun:Yeah, prevented another assassination attempt on Whitley. Not to mention the our unwanted guest that were promptly dealt with thanks to the little terror of the desert. Jael really is something else.

Blake:I met up with them before I came here. She looks healthy which is good; also she’s grown like a weed. Wouldn’t be surprised if she’ll outgrow my clothes in awhile.

Sun:She definitely has her father’s intensity that’s for sure. I’m worried about these attacks; there’s never been such a drastic attempt like this. Especially back to back. How did the last part of your mission go?

Blake:A lot of explosions in a mine. *pulls out a map with dozens of red x’s on it* we hit every single one we found. Even went around the world twice for a year just to be sure. Maybe this is a last stitch effort?

Sun:.....I hope so. *stands up* you might wanna get dressed. Adam should be back in a few hours, there’s a festival tonight for your return, I’m sure Illia wants to spend time with you, not to mention your parents.....

Blake:Sigh, no rest for the wary. Guess I’ll go shower, but.....*grabbing Suns arm* you’re helping me wash. High Leader’s orders.

Sun:*smiling* Well if they’re orders!

[Jaune’s Porch]

*Ruby sitting down and taking off her shoe*

Yang:*opening the door*I was wondering where you were. Go for an early jog or something?

Ruby:Visited dad. Felt nostalgic about seeing our home again. Almost nothing as changed; except the boarded up doggy door....

Yang:Oh....how long?

Ruby:Three years; Zwei just ran out of bark he said. Wish I got to hold him one more time.

Yang:Yeah that’s rough. *sits next to her* So, how long you’re bunking with us? Not that anybody wants you gone but I assume you want your own place?

Ruby:My home burnt down before our adventure started. Sure I could easily get another one but.....I’m in no rush to be alone.

...........

Ruby:This is gonna sound terrible but a piece of me wishes I didn’t have to deal with readjusting to life. Maybe our last mission should’ve been my-

Yang:Don’t say it...*holds her hand tightly* there’s no way I could’ve lived with myself coming home without you.

Ruby:....I’m sorry. I should no better than to say things like that by now.

Yang:You’ll get through this, with me. Just like always. I’m always in your corner sis. *smiles*

Ruby;....*hugs her tightly* Yang, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you for everything; for being my sister. *whimpering*

Yang:*looking up at the sky*

*Dark clouds forming in the distance*

Yang:*rubbing Ruby’s head* (A storm is coming. Why.....am I worried?)

[Vale]

*alarm clock ringing*

Tenzen:*in his bed*Zzzzzzz

Ren:*shaking him* Tenzen wake up! You’ve over slept again.

Tenzen:Zzzzzz

Ren:Pancakes are made.

Tenzen:Zzzzzzz

Ren:Yujin made them...

Tenzen:*jumps up* Lies! She makes french to- what time is it?

Ren:Past sunrise; your mother is probably waiting for you to show up and running drills again.

Tenzen:Shoot! She’ll probably ramp up the difficulty now. *starts zipping around his bedroom causing the lights to flicker*

Ren:You might blow a fuse at this rate *catches him as he passes by* remember to eat before moving like that or you might just ended up worn out and sleepy again.

Tenzen:Valid point, I’ll probably end up grabbing some snacks to eat before I see her.

Ren:*holds up a protein bar* here, I doubt you have time to make breakfast.

Tenzen:You’re the best. I’m surprised you haven’t made breakfast yet.

Ren:*points to luggage outside* I’ve been preoccupied this morning.

Tenzen:*eyes widened* Already going on the medical trip? Didn’t think you’d pack so soon.

Ren:Nora is finishing up your training, thanks to you everything is paid for, and hopefully by next month you’ll ace the entrance exam to Beacon. Looks like you don’t need me around anymore.

Tenzen:Don’t phase it like that. *hugs him* I’m always gonna need you dad. Have a safe trip and speedy recovery! Looking forward to dancing with you whenever you return.

Ren:As long as there’s no camera; I’ll leave internet fame to you.

Tenzen:Deal! *suited up in his previous attire* well I’m off to another brawl in the emerald forest.

Ren:Some advice, go after your mom first.b

Tenzen:Got it! *dashes away*

Ren:*still holding the protein bar* Hehe Nora he is like you through and through sometimes.

•

*Blake fully clothed in a version of her father’s chief outfit. Complete with the the purple and gold family colors*

Blake:*drying her hair* You know it’s impolite to spy on people right? *looks up at the rafters*

Adam:I see you haven’t lost a step. *jumps down* also you sort of hired me to spy remember? *kneels*

Blake:*opens her arms* Stop with the formalities and greet me like an old friend. Or did you forget how to do that?

Adam:Sassy as always I see. *hugs her* Good to see you safe; I’ll admit I had my doubts.

Blake:You think you’d know better than to bet against your first pupil. *moves his hair* how’s seeing the world with two eyes?

Adam:Bright hehehe, but really nice. You’ve been back long?

Blake:Just since last night. Stopped by and visited your family. Jael has become quite the looker.

Adam:It terrifies me every day.

Blake:*snorts* got to talk to her a little bit. She seems lonely. Also missing you a lot.

Adam:Things haven’t exactly been....easy for her. It’s a lot to talk about.

Blake:Well there’s gonna be special spot here for higher ups only during the festival. You could bring your family without worrying about people seeing you; maybe we could all catch up them?

Adam:*rubbing the back of his neck* That might do her some good honestly. I sort of think I’m screwing up the one good thing I’ve brought into this world.

Blake:*smiles*......

Adam:What?

Blake:It feels really good to just talk to you again. We’ve been through some shit you and I. I missed this.

Adam:*smiles* You’re such a sap....

Blake:Wow! Okay you jerk. *folds her arms and smiles* the real sap is you; family life suits you well.

Adam;It’ll probably do wonders for you too. You’re only thirty something. It’s not too late.

Blake:*blushing* Mind your business! I just got back and that’s what you want to say!?

Adam:I’m just saying you might want to think about it. Sun won’t admit it but he was always his happiest spending time with Jael or any kid that ran up to him. *walking away*

Blake:......

Sun:*walks in* Oh hey loser. *holds out fist*

Adam:Sup loser *fist bumps him* see you tonight with my family.

Sun:Aye tell Jael her uncle I’ll make her favorite dessert! *grinning*

Adam:She’s supposed to be eating healthy! *leaves*

Sun:This is why she likes me more! So how was seeing your old everything basically.

Blake:*red*.........fruitful.

•

*Tenzen sprinting down a dirt path connecting to the forest. Clouds looming over him*

Tenzen:(I hope mom isn’t too mad I’m late. If she is this storm probably won’t my situation. Maybe I should’ve-) *immediately tries to stop. Skidding several feet anyways* What the!?

*trees snapped in half and bullet holes everywhere. Prints of human and multiple grimm types around the area with some blood as he looks around*

Tenzen:......(This isn’t right. So many grimm prints but not much blood. Who could get away from these numbers? Why would different grimm attack in these numbers?) Something doesn’t feel-

“tu...rn arou...nd.....”

Tenzen:*flips around and draws his weapons* Who’s there!? Fair warning I- *gasp* Emerald!?

*a flickering illusion of Emerald dawning a black and green trim version of her outfit points to a bush before fading *

Tenzen:*Walking through the bushes and looking*Emerald.......?

Emerald:Hey kid *cough* up here.....

Tenzen:*drops his weapons on sight; his face going pale* Guys?

*Mercury unconscious and bleeding on Emeralds back. Her chain dangerously close to being around their neck as they hang from a tree*

Emerald:*beaten up* H...help....

Tenzen:*snaps the tree limb off and catches both of them* What happened to you two!? Why are you-*yanked by the color*

Emerald:They....know where *cough* Nora.......

Tenzen:..........

[Launching cliff]

Nora:*sitting down* Late again I see; what am I going to do with that boy? We did spar pretty rough so maybe I can give him a break this one time.

*pit pat pit pat pit......*

Nora:Hmm? *turning around* finally decide to show up Ten- *gasp!!*

*several cult members stand facing her. Dozens of ursas, beowulves, and death stalkers behind them*

M:I’m sorry, were you expecting someone else? *eyes glowing read*

*the rain started to fall.....*

[gottaquoteemall]

"The Night Vale medical board has issued a new study indicating that you have a spider somewhere on you body at all time, but especially now."

-Welcome to Night Vale, Episode Ten: “Feral Dogs”

[thecomicsnexus]

The Thief of Night!

DETECTIVE COMICS #529 AUGUST 1983 BY DOUG MOENCH, GENE COLAN, DICK GIORDANO AND ADRIENNE ROY

SYNOPSIS (FROM DC DATABASE)

One night while out on patrol, Batman encounters the black-clad Thief of Night, who steals precious furs and gems to bring to his lover, Nocturna. In their first encounter, Batman is unable to capture the thief, because he chooses to save an innocent man from death. However, when word about this gets to the media, Batman turns into the laughing stock of Gotham City.

Meanwhile, Lucius Fox gets word from the board at Wayne Enterprises, that one of their employees, a Ms. N. Knight, has suffered an accident while working the night shift at the Astronomical Observatory and her medical bills for her dermatology treatment are very high. Fox considers the situation and realizes that Wayne Enterprises might have to give the lady additional compensations.

The next night, Bruce goes on a date with Vicki Vale, but he leaves her waiting for three hours when he gets word that the Thief of the Night is close by. Despite his best efforts, Batman is unable to stop the shadow thief and after another defeat, he returns to a very upset VIcki Vale, who ends their date immediately.

To make matters worse, Bruce returns home where his new ward, Jason is considering going back to the circus since Batman will not take him on as his new partner.

REVIEW

I am not sure if I mentioned this for the review of Detective Comics #526, but it was too out of place to have a clown around Jason Todd while he is mourning his parents. In this issue he asks him why he is always on make up and he answers “what make up?”. Something fishy is going on.

The radio woman reminded me of “The Warriors”, it’s not the only story that reminds me of that movie, Night People has a very similar feel (I asked Alan Grant if it was an homage and he told me that it wasn’t, at least not consciously). I think it is probably the same here, even though the woman acts as a proxy for the shadow-thief, it is not repeated again in the issue.

Moench’s silly plot is still silly, but it seems to me like he is warming up.

I give this issue a score of 7

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Aug 13, 2012

The Night Vale Medical Board offers the following diet tip: Everything you eat is sunlight made physical. You are radiant and forever.

[curiousobsession101]

“The Night Vale Medical Board has issued a new study indicating that you have a spider somewhere on your body at all times but especially now. The study said that further research would be needed to determine exactly where on your body this spider is and what its intentions are, only that it is definitely there and is statistically likely to be one of the really ugly ones.”