#nice to know i still have that capacity
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copia · 25 days ago
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also didn't expect to develop a queue crush
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monards · 6 months ago
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everytime i find out someone has assumed i had a crush on them because i treat them with (normal) platonic affection i die a little inside. i fear people have unnormalized just being decent and kind a little *too* much
#it is a tiny bit worse when they take things i did to be nice or make them feel better in that way. please!!#i just want!! to make you feel a bit better about yourself !!!! not that !!!! stop !!!! no!!!!!!!!!!! shoo !!! away !!!!!!!!!!!#-> in people's defense. i dont really have those same shames when it comes to assuring your friends or family you love them.#so that probably makes things feel different.#which i still think is odd!!! love is universal!!!!#-> also. most romantic songs ive listened to dont end up interpreted romantically in my little head LMFAHFSHOO#so that could also be it#(crepe chronic addiction to telling people songs remind her of them backfires on her)#;; sorry guys! i have a joyfriend that i love more than the world! please have those thoughts go away! pretty please! ew !#LMADSGHDOASO#-> ALSO !!!!!!!! this was not meant negatively!!!!!!!!!!!! it just makes me uncomfortable when people assume. its not their fault entirely#just feels abit icky. and odd. for people to have assumptions like that without any basis#i have been in love a total of two times in my life. ido not think im the slightest bit in *LOVE* you when i speak to you twice a week#-> slightly offtopic im glad i dont have to worrya bout confessions anymore with the fact i make my sexuality & status fairly clear#id kill myself if another man talked to me like that#i have an extreme curse.#and making sure i have the lesbian flag on any of my belongings has largely saved me#(for the most part)#crepe rambles#((none of this applies to mylovely joyfriend. i loveyou very much and your interpretations are always perfect. hi#you can assume all you want because you know me and are not weird in any capacity about me. 💜 muchappprecation
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gurorori · 10 months ago
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haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.
at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)
but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise
#'ohh i saw white people still go out to rally for ukraine' yeah have you considered they are ukrainian or have ukrainian loved ones or uh#simply have humanity in their heart to care about several humanitarian tragedies in the world?#this is both aimed at a post i saw on here and at SEVERAL. MANY. twitterians with a thousand palestine flags all over their accounts spewing#misinformation hate and sometimes straight up russian propaganda tactics because they're this fucking insane#i don't care about sounding nice anymore by the way. i know my heart lies in the right place and i have the capacity to care about more than#one ongoing genocide of indigenous peoples#removed incidents of bad actors having a ukrainian flag on their backpack doing hateful shit does not somehow okay dismissing a genocide you#so vehemently claim to oppose. they are not ukrainians who are getting bombed on the daily for years#i saw a very lovely 🍉🕊️ lady denying holodomor and using literal russian talking points while patting herself on the back for being such#a good person. i saw one of the most popular leftie accs on twitter be actively anti-ukraine and using slurs. luckily we mass reported them#and they're gone#i'm no longer being careful with my words because i don't want to be misconstrued. i know my values go beyond twitter and tumblr#if i catch you in any way undermining the genocide of ukrainians or only bringing it up to point fingers and bitch i am blocking you forever#don't care how far this post might go cuz of ppls questionable use of the search function. and i didn't care to censor anything#like. masks off. just block me if this is your rhetoric
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crimeronan · 2 years ago
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i downloaded finch a couple days ago, which is a self-care gamification app with built-in white noise and gentle exercise and breathing routines. you have a little virtual bird friend who goes on adventures and learns things and chats with you & you can buy them outfits and decorate their room with the rewards earned by doing the self-care things. overall i've found it cute and helpful for hacking some of my executive dysfunction, especially because a lot of the tasks are like, move ONE thing, do ONE dish, stand for TEN seconds, etc.
but anyway when the app did an emotional check-in tonight, i clicked the worst feeling for the first time (because i fucked up my hip and have been crying in pain for ~2 hours). i didn't realize your emotional state affects the app's suggested tasks, but then my homepage immediately gave me:
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and when i scrolled down i discovered that the reward for doing my daily goals had gone up from usual & my pet was coming home sooner from her adventure (at which point i could pet her & talk to her), which.
well. i immediately fucking Dissolved.
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mcheung · 2 months ago
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need a song for what i’m feeling rn bc what on earth is happening 😭
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vampiremourning · 27 days ago
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very sad bc i had the overwhelming urge to simply Call A Friend and talk for a few hours today but well you see. i do not have someone to occupy that niche in my life.
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anistarrose · 1 year ago
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inverted murder mystery: "who the fuck killed my archnemesis? i need to thank them personally"
#spoilers + meta for my own fic (a monster might begin to worry) in the tags below bc i just reread it and cried but#if magnus was less depressed and more assured of his own worthiness of being stood up for and protected#then ammbtw would have almost immediately turned into this#instead it doesn't really become this until the final chapter - where magnus finally believes that protecting him was the right thing#before that - when he did have the capacity to “solve” the case; and obviously even *did* solve it with some help -#he was so torn up over motive. over *why* someone would've intervened. and because mags thought so poorly of himself -#he wasn't convinced that killing kalen *was* a heroic act. because sure; magnus felt that kalen deserved it#but he also felt that *he* was getting off easy. that he wasn't having to atone for *his* perceived failures#in that last chapter though. in that last chapter. just when he's lost the ability to remember or comprehend the answer#which is the *same* time he finally claws his way up into good enough mental health to believe that he deserves nice things#*that's* when he finally wants to do my little shitpost above. to give the murderer a truly heartfelt thank you#and the irony is that the killer is right under his nose... and magnus doesn't know; and can never ever know#but instead of being a dark ending a la “the murderer committed the perfect crime and got away; where will they strike next?”#it's a “magnus is safe and loved and supported” ending :) even if he still doesn't know the lengths his family's gone to for him#because he's getting to a place where he can be happy without knowing all the answers :)#a monster might begin to worry
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quietwingsinthesky · 2 years ago
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the thing about me is that I have this need to pick up every angel on supernatural by their scruff and place them into an enclosure that will allow them to, if not heal and become better, than at least to be petty and vindictive in a way that causes less death and destruction and is just kind of annoying. which I would argue is also good for them. let angels make choices where the consequences of their actions are non-existent rather than world-ending. teaches them free will in a safe, healthy way.
#this is still about Zachariah to be clear#it’s about all of them. I’m putting them all in such nice enclosures. with so much enrichment#but mostly this is about Zachariah. just kind of want to put him in an actual office and watch him whirr away. maybe he prints things.#stands at a water cooler and makes awkward small talk.#I don’t know what happens in offices. what do I look like. I don’t think he does either really. he just likes the aesthetic#he’s constantly cosplaying and it makes all the other angels slightly uncomfortable like. Okay Zach We Get It. This Is Your Businessman OC.#Can We Please Go Back To Talking About How To Stop Castiel From Breaking Containment For The Fifth Time This Month.#(my integration of old and new angel rebellion canon is per s5 all angels have the capacity to rebel. and many do. often. and are punished#for it. and also per s8 Cas just does it the most because he is so sooo annoying <3#also maybe because a combination of factors like. Anna is his boss for a lot of that time and she goes lighter on the reprogramming because#she’s already having doubts. and then also he’s paired with Uriel always. they make each other question things. but they also work#too well together for Heaven to separate them. the cost isn’t so high (yet) just toss them in the brain cleaner after each assignment#and they’re still useful.)#sorry this was supposed to be about Zachariah.#his enclosure has fax machines in it. he likes them. you know. the same way most angels like radio towers. he *likes* them.#spn#Zachariah spn
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snekdood · 1 month ago
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idc if ppl think im problematic i just want it to be for the actual real reasons i am
#like... im kinda aggressive and might attack if provoked... i intentionally exude a threatening presence and personality to#scare ppl away but also bc i will actually try to fuck you up if you fuck with me too much. i also struggle with not knowing#how to handle my cat yelling besides yelling at him which reinforces him but it doesnt matter bc he does it anyways even#if i stubbornly ignore him so idfk what to do i think he just think thats the normal way to talk atp and it driveS ME INSANE BECAUSE#HE IS MOEWS ARE SO LOUD AND SOUND LIKE A FUCKING BABY CRYING WHICH TRIGGERS A PRIMAL PARENTAL THING IN#ME AND HES MANIPULATING THAT TO GET MY ATTENTION FOR SHIT HE DOESNT NEED HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#LIke. im problematic in some ways. no im not as problematic as you might think but like. i still recognize i got a lot of shit to work on#over here yaknow. its shit i think about all the time and keep trying to figure out what i can do about.#which is also why i dont need ppl riding on my ass about shit that i already know better about#i honestly think yall think me being inflammatory online makes me a bad person... idk. and i dont really think im all that controversial#or inflammatory in what i say but anyone being that in any capacity in your opinion makes them Bad for some reason?? idrk.#im trying to figure it out. like you either just have to believe any lie someone tells about me or you just hate how annoying i am to you#on the internet. something you can easily avoid by blocking me.#also the things i say online... dont necessarily directly translate to offline? im not really like this irl... im definitely a lot more#aggressive online than i am off...#offline i try to keep things calm and gentle and i try to be considerate and nice to those around me. ig i dont feel like tumblr#has earned that side of me yet 🤷#i literally have an idyllic ass garden and essentially green house ok. i dont talk about the happenings of my daily life on here#much bc i worry talking about it on here will taint it somehow.#maybe im too superstitious. maybe im worried about being stalked. maybe its a combo of many things but theres certain info#i dont trust with certain types of people and if tumblr was a person i would not trust that person with that info.#the friend to get drunk with not to watch your cats and house while you're out of town. etc.#ill vent about my trauma but i dont want you... in my life... Like That lmao. we just go to the same bar...
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dr-gaytorius · 2 months ago
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I was going to have enough money to potentially go out for halloween but then the water bill posted. This world wants me dead
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fridayyy-13th · 4 months ago
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i think if i can make it through tomorrow's classes i can use the weekend to play catch-up with all the work i'm behind on. emphasis on the think, bc there Definitely isn't precedent for this sort of thing from me. and there Definitely isn't nearly an entire week's worth of unfinished stuff i need to do. :P
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philosophicallie · 1 year ago
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also being short in the western world is fucking humiliating and not even in a compare your appearance way. its the fucking constant lack of fitting clothing because your proportions are so fucking short because you total up to fucking FIFTY FIVE!!!! 55 inches ONLY
small sized clothing will usually still have 4-5 excess inches for fucking standardization IM NOT THE STANDARD IM A STUPID SHORT ASIAN IMMIGRANT JUST LET ME HAVE SMALLER CLOTHES WITH SOME FUCKING DIGNITY
#this is a very personal problem and i wish i could complain more but i dont have theq energy and all i have are tears#but like i already live thru the embarrassment of asking for help constantly and using stupid ass ladders#cant i at least fucking have some actual short people pants please. please. i have to geqt shit tailored or start doing mods myself but#I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ITS 2023#i literally want to die tonight so i can stop being a burden on my bfs bc i can feel it i can feel how taxing i am and i know i shouldnt be#thinking this but like. i cant stop. i make it hard to be my friend i make it scary to be nice to me all i wnt to do is attack bc im hurtin#but thats not. gonna make me feel better in any way but thats not gonna stop the constsnt impulse in there to just start screaming#and its worse knowing thwt no matter what route is taken ill still get angry. or maybe i just want them to be angry about me already so i#have an excuse to get wngry back and idk. feel catharsis through that or something#idk. i hate my stupid brain and i hate my stupid ex for making me hate it more#im so angry and i have no one who is comfortable enough to deal with that so instead ill sleep earlu @#idk i hate differences they make me fixated on all the ways i can get angry about it so idk how to deal w that#i have so much to compare + i cant say it bc if i do then theyll be conscious abt it/theyll know its smth that just adds .1% to anger meter#ugh i think were hoing to moms this Christmas and while thsts nice i dont. have the emotional capacity to confide in her#i only want my mom. but i cant tell her any of this bc theres nothing that she csn even do#other than just throw money at me for support#i hate this#original#vent
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rafey-baby · 3 months ago
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dealer!rafe knows just the right way to apologize after coming home late once again…
18+ mdni!
c/w: kinda free use, p-in-v, angsty undertones?
wc: 820
part two
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It’s past midnight when she stirs awake in their unlit bedroom to Rafe’s calloused hands roaming along the skin of her waist as he slumps down on top of her, groaning when he can feel her delicate presence underneath him, at last.  
It’s unbearably thermal, which is why she’s merely wearing a flimsy top as she lays on her stomach under the covers; softened bones feeling mellow under the weight of his heavy limbs profoundly pressing her into the mattress.  
She tries to move around some, albeit unsuccessfully as his much bigger body cages her between the rumpled sheets and his strong abdomen and she lets out a displeased huff because he was supposed to be back hours ago. 
“Rafe? Where were you? Waited for you…” she sounds almost upset with her mind hazy; dreamy sleep still lingering. 
“Just had to take care of some shit, m’sorry,” he murmurs, guilt weighing him down at the prospect of making her sad. It’s something he seems to be doing a lot these days. 
“Missed my girl all day,” he burrows his face in her hair, inhaling the dulcet coconut scent of her favorite conditioner still present in the damp strands.  
She sighs.  
“Thought you said you’d come home early tonight and we’d watch a movie…” she complains, voice still coated in the glimmer of the dreamland she’s been forced to wake up from.  
“I know, baby. But listen, you’ll get me all to yourself tomorrow, yeah?” His honeyed words soothe her some but she’s still discontented. He always does this. Promises something and then gets her hopes up thinking he’s finally going to keep his word but every time some shit comes up.  
“Was worried something happened,” she persists, a frown obscuring her face as he presses a sugary kiss on her cheek in apology. That’s the other thing, it’s not exactly the fact that he works too much that concerns her, but the nature of his business. It’s dangerous.  
After all, he doesn’t keep a gun tucked in the waistband of his pants whenever he leaves the house for nothing. And even if she knows he can take care of himself, she can’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over her whenever he opens the front door unscathed. 
“Don’t have to worry about me, you know that,” he scolds, peeling the covers off her frame and tugging her closer by a grip on her hips.  
“But Rafe—” she whines. 
“But nothing," he interrupts her as he tugs down the zipper of his pants. "Look so sweet when you sleep, gets me so hard, you know?” He mumbles before she feels him poking at her entrance.  
“I’m still mad at you,” she complains with a pout. However, she doesn’t exactly do anything to stop him. Craves to feel close to him in any and every capacity he lets her, even if it can be exhausting to love him as much as she does. 
“Shh, let me say hi to my pussy, hm?” Love it when you’re not wearing any panties to bed, make it so easy for me to just…” he trails off, finishing the sentence with a nudge of his hips against her; tucking his cock into the warmth of her with his fingers sinking into the flesh of her ass.  
“Ray…” she whimpers; the odd intimacy they seem to share in the quietest hours of the day always comforting her in some peculiar way.
“Let me make it up to you, okay?” It’s more of a demand than a request and she has no choice but to let him do as he pleases when he pushes in deeper; prodding at the spongy spot inside her and making her cry out.  
“Yeah? That feel nice?” He pants in her ear; shoving her face more into the fluffy pillows with each thrust of his hips against her.  
“Promise, I’ll take the day off tomorrow and we can do whatever you want, can watch all the movies and make some food and could run you a bath, hm?” He rasps in her ear as her breathy moans get louder by every drag of his cock in and out of her gummy walls.  
His rough hands slide between the mattress and her body, groping at the flesh of her tits as he’s letting out guttural groans from the back of his throat; thrusts growing sloppy in their search for a release in the all too forgiving girl who wishes Rafe was always like this.  
The way he’s talking to her right now initiates false hope in her and she thinks that maybe one day she’ll be able to actually trust his empty promises.  
However, she knows that the minute he gets a call regarding a missing shipment or a late payment, he’s going to have to leave to make sure everything’s in order; returning after nightfall the following day because that’s what always happens. 
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luveline · 1 year ago
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spencer one shot where he’s angry at somebody else [bc he so does look so kissable when he’s angry >:(] maybe someone at one of the precincts they’re working at said something rude about r and he defends u and maybe he gets a lil kiss <3
im thinking “this is calm and it’s doctor” vibes bc that scene does things to me 😭
ty for requesting ♡ fem, 1.1k
cw for sexual harassment
"Jesus," Spencer says, rushing to stand behind you as you bend over. 
"Mm?" you hum. You're fishing for your dropped change unsuccessfully by the precinct vending machines. "They have your chips, did you see?" 
"Your pants are ripped," Spencer says, hand ghosting your thigh. 
"What?" you ask, shooting up. You turn on the spot to hide, hand leaping back. You feel at the seam. "Where?" 
"Top of your thigh." 
"Shit, really? Can you see my–" 
"Yeah," he says, meeting your wide eyes while you locate the rip. "How did you do that?" He laughs. 
"Don't laugh!" you demand, though you're giggling as you do, hand covering your thigh and the bottom of your butt inefficiently. 
"Do you want my jacket?" 
"Don't cover it up, toots." 
You and Spencer both blink. There's a crowd of grinning beat cops by the door of the cafeteria who've obviously witnessed your misdemeanour. "Toots?" Spencer asks. 
"Sorry, boys, that's the end of the show," you say with a grin. Not because you particularly enjoy having been oggled, but it's always been like this. Men will always make weird comments to you, and you've learned to play nice until they're out of your jurisdiction. 
"Turn back around," one says bravely, though you aren't sure which one. 
Spencer stands in front of you subtly. "Do you know that thirty eight percent of women experience sexual harassment in the workplace?" he asks, quick but measured. "Thirty eight percent, but I'm sure a much smaller number of those women are federal agents, and a smaller number again have the capacity to break your arm. I've seen her give serial killers radial fractures. I've seen her do worse." 
"We were just messing around," one says. 
"No need to get defensive," says another. "Don't get mad, boy." 
"I am defensive, but I'm not mad."
His tone attracts the attention of a precinct sergeant who barks at them to stop messing around and get back to work. "Were they bothering you?" he asks after they've filtered out with their heads down. 
"No," you say swiftly. "Everything's fine." 
Spencer frowns, worse when the sergeant leaves, turning to you to take your hand. A few weeks ago at a company picnic, when the sun was high and your spirits comparatively lower, you'd apologised to him for flirting. You love to flirt and especially with him, puppy eyed Spencer with his head of brown hair and his big brain, but some of the team suggested you were taking it too far. You apologised, but Spencer didn't really get what you were saying sorry for and took your hand to lead you out of the sun. He protects you. 
"You okay?" he asks. 
"I'm fine." 
"You sure?" His voice fries. 
"I'm sure," you say. His hand is an interesting thing on yours. He has long, long fingers that seem to possess their own willpower, moving even as they're sewn through yours. "I don't know what to do about my pants." 
Spencer's eyebrows pinch together. "Well, I'll take care of that. I'll find you something. I can't believe those as–" 
"Oh," you interrupt, taking your hand back in want of a better thing to hold, his cheek a mix of soft and scratchy against your palm. "You're still mad." 
"I'm not mad," he insists, though eventually he relents, "Alright, I'm angry that they'd think it was okay to objectify you." 
"What else?" you ask, letting your voice drop in pitch, the sound smooth as angora silk. 
"I'm thinking about if I hadn't been here." 
"I can protect myself," you murmur, endeared by the heat in his gaze. "You said it yourself, handsome. Radial fractures." 
"You shouldn't have to." 
"We both already know that," you say, the side of your hand slipping down his cheek reverently. He squints gently, his lashes dark triangles, his irises a browned sugar. His jaw clenches under your touch. "You're handsome." 
"Right now?" he asks dryly. 
"Are you handsome right now?" 
"Are you really flirting with me right now?" 
"Why wouldn't I be?" You draw a line under his ear whisper soft to curl a longer strand of his hair around the tip. "You look hot when you're winning." 
"What did I win?" he asks, like he doesn't want to know. 
You grin at him, stickying. "Would you like an itemised list?" you ask, rising on tiptoes to speak into the shell of his ear. "What do you think you deserve, handsome? For such a fearless defence?" 
He's not immune to your whims, but he is used to them, planting his hands on your shoulders to ease you back on sure footing. "I don't want anything. I'll always defend you." 
"Can I give you a small token of my gratitude, at least?" 
His pinking cheeks practically emanate heat. "We don't have time for this," he says regretfully, "I still have to find you a coverup." 
"Just a small token," you say. 
He hums and haws. "Alright. Okay, whatever you want." 
"You sure?" 
He nods once, his jaw working with something unsaid. You touch his neck, fingertips trailing along the underside of his jaw until you're sure it's what he wants before you brace your hands behind his head and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, close enough that the corner of his lips align with yours but don't overlap. His neck is hot in your hands, his hair soft, his breath hooking as you lift your lips just a touch and your nose digs into his cheek. "Thank you, Spencer," you whisper. 
He pulls you closer. 
You shudder as his hand presses into the small of your back, wondering what it is he wants to do. His fingers spread. Your thoughts turn to white noise. Like he can sense it, he breathes out and steps away, but any sense of urgency is gone. 
"As much as I might tease, I really do need some pants," you say. "I'm not very interested in anyone else seeing my panties today." 
He rushes off to find you something and you press the backs of your fingers to your cheeks, feeling the heat there with a resigned embarrassment. He has no idea how much power he has over you, in his stony anger and his eager reception. The phantom of his hand warms your back until he returns, his sweater in hand. "Sorry, this is it." 
"If you want me to wear your clothes, just say so." 
"Hotch is pretty pissed at us." 
"Ah," you sigh, tying his sweater around your waist, "another day in paradise, baby." 
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warnersister · 7 months ago
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How the peaky boys react when dating a girl with a praise kink (nsfw) -> headcannon
Goes without saying, nsfw warning
Find the request here, sorry it took so long
Tommy🪖
🪖Tommy had you figured out before you’d figured yourself out.
🪖He knew what was going on in your head before your did.
🪖You were working late one Friday at the Garrison, of course many working men joyously engaging in Friday night drinking and drunkenness while their wives whittled wistfully back home.
🪖You weren’t expecting the Blinders tonight, but of course you’d always find room for the Peaky boys in this establishment, regardless if you were chocker with customers that the bar didn’t really have the capacity for. The door chimed and you spun, peering to see if you had the numbers to accommodate the x amount of customers you had walking through your door.
🪖”Evening boys, meeting or drinks?” You ask, readying yourself to go clean the business Roman that was wordlessly their property. “Just drinks tonight, love” Tommy answered with a small smile and you nod, placing your hands on your hips; balled into fists while you ponder around to find their empty table.
🪖You notice a table of rowdy youngsters occupying the usual Shelby spot and you narrow your eyes at them, internally questioning if you had the inner morals to boot paying customers out of their seats.
🪖”Be a good girl and get us a booth please, sweetheart” Tommy asks, well instructs, as he lights up another cigarette.
🪖He noticed the way your eyes darkened at his request and your lips parted slightly. You nodded. “Of course Tommy, give me a moment lads” you say, heading to the young gentleman to ask them to either head to the open seats at the bar or get gone.
🪖"hiya lads, sorry to bother.” You say as you approach the lot who look at you in question “but I’m afraid we need this booth, happy to serve you up at the bar or I’m sure another will open soon” you wince, apologetically. One scoffs. “Why should we? We’re paying customers?” He asks, beginning to instigate somewhat of an issue, when Tommy swoops in “I believe she asked you nicely” he grunts, and it was almost awe-strucking watching how fast the boys scampered out the door with mediocre apologies.
🪖Thomas wanted to test his small hypothesis again, placing a gentle hand on your lower back “such a good lass to your old Tom, aren’t you?” He hums and he watches as your jaw slackens and you swallow on your own saliva, beginning to stumble around a response. “My pleasure, Tom”
🪖And then a few months later, when he’d taken you out a couple of times you were more widely known as Tommy’s girl than you were your own name.
🪖It was again a Friday evening, usual crowd shuffling to their places and so were the boys.
🪖“evening boys” you smile, handing an older man his shandy as he makes his way back to his missus who was still sipping on her gin.
🪖“evening sweetheart” Tommy smiles, leaning across the bar to peck your lips as the rest of the boys head to their normal spot.
🪖business as usual
🪖you begin pouring their beers automatically, following Tommy to the table with umpteen pints and of course an apple juice for John, whom you’d cut off from alcohol.
🪖“good girl” Tommy applauds as you hand them their drinks, quiet enough that the rest of his rough crowd didn’t hear but loud enough for you to become unsteady on your feet.
🪖you didn’t know when you’d agreed to go home with Tommy. You don’t even remember locking the door to the Garrison. But now he had you buried deep beneath him as he rutted into you and there was nothing you really cared about more right now. If there was a problem you can deal with it when you were finished.
🪖he was trying to coax it out of you. Trying to coax out the fact that you revelled in it when he praised you. And it got him off to see that when other blokes such as Harry called you a ‘good lass’ for a decent shift, you didn’t bat an eyelid.
🪖“Come on love, got one more in you haven’t you?” You shook your head at his question, almost hoping that he’d let you rest after your third. “C’mon sweetheart, don’t you want to be a good girl for your Tommy?” He asks and you nod up at him through dazed eyes. “Hmm?” He asks, holding your jaw still with one hand while the other held him up above you. “Please. Please Tommy. Wanna be good for you” you mumble out, and he smirks - rutting into you at yet again, another relentless pace.
🪖”that’s it. Such a good girl f’me. So so good” he praises as your moans progressively get louder as you mewl beneath him.
🪖and eventually, when you’d both calmed down, he looked at you and smirked “good girl aren’t you?”
🪖”shut up Tom.”
Alfie🧸
🧸Eats that shit up, no crumbs, licks the plate clean.
🧸already kind of babies you, he doesn’t mean too. You’re a few years his younger and as your husband he sees it as his job to protect and provide for you while doting and taking care of you like any good man should.
🧸then one night he comes home a bit late from the bakery, readying to apologise when he’d noticed you’d just finished cooking dinner. “Well here I was all soppy and ready to apologise to you, yeah. And no, my good little girls just gone and made dinner!” He says, almost chuffed. You giggle and plate up the food, sitting across from him as he begins to eat.
🧸”what ‘y doing over there, then?” He scoffs “c’mere.” He instructs as you move to sit in his lap and he relishes in the meal you’d prepared “you’re so good to your old man, aren’t you?” He hums “so so good” he exclaims, only trying to show his appreciation but he noticed your pupils dilate at his words. He brushes it off, nothing major.
🧸later in the evening his sciatica was playing up so you wordlessly left the room to go draw him a bath with some new salts you’d bought from your elderly neighbour whom your husband refused to speak to on account of her being ‘a witch’ as he said.
🧸”oh you are a good’un aren’t you, poppet?” He hums, as he enters the room, allowing you to help him undress and get into the bath, afterwards preparing to make your leave and get him some medicine from the cupboard downstairs.
🧸”and where do you think you’re going?“ he questions, and you raise a brow “to get you some medicine” “I need no such thing. Now get in here w’me.” He grunts and you do as he says, never one to turn down a good relaxing soak in the bath with your husband.
🧸”there you are, good girl aren’t you? Always listening to your old man. What did I do to deserve you. So perfect” he rambled, and doesn’t notice the ever hazing glint in your eye and when he finally looks down at you he narrows his eyes and finally realised what that look was.
🧸his praises got you going.
🧸”tell y’what would make y’old man feel so much better,” he hums and you cock your head ready to help his pain ease “if you be a good girl f’me and give us a distraction” he suggests and you see the smirk unveiling under his beard, as he reaches for your thigh to pull you over his lap and to settle atop of him. “Seeing as you asked so nicely” you mumbled into his shoulder, as you began to rock against him.
🧸”there you go, there’s a good girl” he says as you come undone on top of him and collapse onto his chest, stroking your back gently with one hand and holding you close with the other. “Y’want to move, poppet he asks?” And you shake your head, eyes closed as you recover.
🧸 as soon as his sciatica pain eases up, he was going to abuse that little trick as often as he could.
Arthur🍺
🍺poor baby needs just as much praise as you do. Thinks he’s a shitty partner
🍺but god when he found out it was like finding the fucking Magna Carta.
🍺it was his ticket out of everything. Came home drunk? “I’m so sorry, you’re so good for putting up with me” In a fight? “you’re such a good wife for patching me up” literally anything you’re not agreeing on? “Oh my good girl”
🍺he’d found out when you were already buried beneath his, mewling as he took out his frustrations on you rather than the man he was originally destined to kill that day.
🍺”y’better feel good about y’self.” He grunts “man’s life was saved cause of you, you and this fucking insatiability.” He thrusts and you groan “please” you number “hmm? Feel good? Little saint you are, fuckin’ angel. Stopped me killin’ a man. Wanna get me into heaven do y’angel? Huh? That’s where you’re sending me?” He asks and you groan louder.
🍺”yeah, cause you’re such a good girl aren’t you?” And that’s when you let out the most gluteal pornographic moan that almost stopped his movements, instead it pushes the throttle and sends the both of you over the edge.
🍺”god Id’ve spared hundreds of men if it meant I got to hear that from you”
John🥃
🥃The Shelby family were enjoying an afternoon at the Garrison. Given, it was incredibly backed with gang members and people dissimilar; still the atmosphere was was light and full of laughter.
🥃you’d volunteered for the Saturday shift seeing as Harry needed extra help nowadays seeing as the customer numbers were ever growing.
🥃John was flirting with you, as ever. While you just rolled your eyes at his antics and offered him another drink.
🥃”blimey, I need to drop drinkin’ the hard stuff. I’m seeing an angel!” John feigned surprise, as he took his cap off his head to greet you, plopping it onto your own as he leaned in to kiss your cheek sweetly. “And I’m seeing a man who’s had one too many. I’m cutting you off” you warn, wagging a finger at him. “Well I do like a lady who takes care of her man” he smirks, but was cut off by a voice that altered the atmosphere in the bar.
🥃”I am looking for Thomas Shelby” the voice announced, and you felt uneasy; John’s face darkened as he clearly recognised the man who was a stranger to yourself. You look to the rest of his family who have a similar stature to him on their faces.
🥃”get behind the bar flower” John mumbles to you calmly, “that’s a good girl. Stay down there, sweetheart” he coos as you duck your head out of sight and into the small crawl space under the kegs.
🥃As the conversation continued, John looks over the counter to you discreetly. And your large doe eyes look back, and he could see the trust in them. He leans his hip against the oak bar edge, holding his hand over and motions for you to give him your own. You thread your hand with his, and he strokes the back of your knuckled gently; giving it a squeeze as Harry instructs them to take this out of his pub.
🥃John gives you one last reassuring squeeze of the hand before grabbing an empty beer bottle and heading out the door with his brothers. A few minutes, a couple of shouts and a gun shot the three walked back in as if nothing had happened.
🥃John leans over the bar “y’alright now, good lass” he says as you peer back up and get back up from your seat on the bar. He rests his arms against the wood and grins at you. “Let y’old John reward you f’ being such a good girl, hm?” He raises a brow and honestly expects nothing from his advance.
🥃you look at the clock on the wall and decide Harry could fend for himself for a while. You look at John and wet your lips, leaning down and grabbing his collar to bring him closer to you. “Meet me in the back”
🥃He jumped over the bar.
Bonnie🥊
🥊revels in it without really meaning too.
🥊also uses it to his advantage. He doesn’t mean it, honest.
🥊you were knelt in front of him, sitting back to rest on your ankles as you wrapped his hands for his fight. “You’re so good t’me, thank you angel” he thanks, stroking your jaw with his thumb.
🥊he knew what he was doing to you. Trying to get in your head.
🥊since he’d fallen hard and fast he’d decided that you were it for him. You were his and he was yours and nothing else. Especially when you agreed to live out his gypsy fantasies with him and give up the traditional home you were so accustomed too.
🥊and he was convinced you’d make the best mum.
🥊so this little praise obsession of yours was the perfect way to sway you onto his wavelength.
🥊”you’re gonna be great tonight, Bon” you say, smiling at him comfortingly. “M nervous” he mumbles and you shake your head, holding his hands in yours “it’s gonna be fine, just go out there and do your best. I’ll always be proud of you.” You say and he seems to settle slightly. “Y’d be such a good mother, darling” he tells you, moving some loose hair out of your face and behind your ear.
🥊he notices a slight blush on your cheeks, and decides to pry. “BONNIE; TIME!” His dad shouts through the door and you tap his leg, standing up to give him his good luck kiss. Instead, he slowly walks you back until your back hits the wall, two wrapped hands caging you.
🥊 “hmm, would’y like tha’? A mammy?” He asks and you stare up at him with dazed yet wide eyes. “Oh you’d be such a good mammy. So caring, so sweet. Y’so good t’me imagine how good y’d be to a young’un.” He hums, resting one hand on your waist. “So, so good” he bumps his nose with yours. “Then I’d marry y’a.” He continues “be a good wife too. The best. Such a good girl” he coos and you audibly whine and he smiles.
🥊”y’d like that? Gonna let me make y’a mammy?” He hums, ghosting his lips over yours “BONNIE!” His dad reiterates and Bonnie huffs. “Y’can do whatever Y’want to do to me, bon” you reply hazily and he smiles as you lean up to kiss him deeply, pulling away to lean your forehead on his, hands cradling his face. “After your fight.” You nod and he raises his brows “promise?” You smile back “promise.”
🥊fastest knockout he’d ever done.
Isaiah♟️
♟️uses it against you. Purposefully
♟️defo teases you for it
♟️you’d be at the garrison, having gone accompanying your twin brother Finn and expecting to see your boyfriend there eventually when you weren’t in your usual spot at home.
♟️he’d turned up around half and hour after you had, only looking to get a drink defo not looking for you.
♟️he sees you at the bar, yet by your side was some bloke he didn’t recognise. Some six foot slime ball with his hair slicked back so far it looked like it created a permanent surprised upkeep on his eyebrows. His suit was brand new, Isaiah assumed the tag was still tucked into a pocket somewhere for him to return and scrounge in the morning.
♟️and why were you talking back?
♟️you were drinking something dark, presumably the alcohol Isaiah preferred for you not to have.
♟️had he bought it you?
♟️Isaiah stormed his way over, fully prepared to lay out the man talking to you and throw you over his shoulder and lead you straight out of the pub; but the conversation you were having with the boy stopped you.
♟️”what d’y say love, wanna get out of here?” He asked “and for the fifth time. No. My husband will be here any minute. He’s a blinder y’know?” You scoff “well he ain’t here now, is he?” He asked you when Isaiah sweeper in and pressed his gun to the man’s temple “isn’t he?” He asked, cocking it as the man before you swallowed and visibly began to sweat.
♟️”I suggest you take yourself out of this pub, out of Birmingham and fucking away from my woman.” He grunts, and the man immediately scampers. Then Isaiah looks to you, and the relief decorating your face is immediately apparent.
♟️”oh Isaiah I’m so sorry I tried to get rid of him-” you begin and then your boy begins to smile “your husband?” He asked, raising a brow cockily and you begin to rock back onto your heels “just wanted to get rid of him” you mumble, and he wraps hands around your waist and settles them on the small of your back.
♟️”you’re so good to me, aren’t you doll?” He asks, smirk growing “rejecting other men f’me?” He hums and you nod “y’know good girls get rewarded, don’t you?”
♟️or when you’re not behaving as he’d want you too.
♟️”where d’y think you’re going?“ he asks as you open the door.
♟️”Ada invited me for drinks” “y’not going, not safe. Not w’them Italians crawling round” he instructs, expecting you to shrug off your coat and come join him in the lounge. He turns but hears the door click shut. And when he’d looked, you were gone.
♟️he was fucking fuming, livid, murderous.
♟️and when you’d shown back home at 2 in the morning, hiccuping, he was already stood at the door with his arms crossed.
♟️you smiled “hi Isaiah” you giggled, but he didn’t say anything as he walked you backwards and your back hit the wall. “In what fucking world does a woman not listen to her man?” He asked and you were immediately silenced. “Hmm?” He asks “why did you think you could just go out without me, you know how dangerous it is” he says “well-” “good girls don’t disobey their men, d’they princess” and he noticed how you cowered and sunk into your shell.
♟️he threw you over his shoulder and carried you up the stairs, rutting into you in the bedroom more times than you could count telling you how disappointed in you he was and every time you were close to release, he’d stop and tell you why you didn’t deserve it.
♟️he loved torturing you.
Michael🎱
🎱so belittling with it.
🎱loves to use it against you whenever he can because it always means that he wins
🎱the first time he’d sussed this little predicament of yours out was when you were entertaining him while his brother dealt business with your father deep within the Cotswolds.
🎱you’d served him tea and polite conversation, talking about your purity and how much he idolised you.
🎱”and you’ve no husband?” He asked and he placed his cup on his saucer you and you straightened your posture before responding “no, no husband” you confirm and he is forced to stifle his smirk “well you’d make the perfect wife” he tells you and he notices how you swallow harshly “well that comes appreciated, mister gray” you reply and he narrows his eyes.
🎱and then when you were married and doting on him, he’d always remind you of how he impacted you.
🎱he knew just how to get to you. “Dear, go be a good girl and fix me a drink” and you’d do so. “I’ve got to go to London for the week. Be a good lass and don’t leave the house” and you wouldn’t.
🎱and sometimes he’d take you to family meetings. Personally believing that the women shouldn’t really be at these meetings. But a quick slap to the head from his mother soon sorted him out.
🎱and then he walked in on John shamelessly flirting with you, and he knew full well you weren’t meaningfully engaging with his cousin, it’s what you were taught to do from a young age. But still, you were engaging.
🎱”flirting with my woman, John?” Michael grunted, entering the room to which the former rolled his eyes “just showing her what a real man could give her” he winked at you before swaggering out of the room. “Why did you entertain him?” “I didn’t-” “thought you’d promised to be a good girl for me tonight?” And that shut you right up. The desire to be praised overpowering all.
🎱 “how ‘bout you make it up to me tonight, sweetheart?”
Finn🎞️
🎞️for his whole life, Finn has always been overshadowed by his older brothers. So being able to have so much control over you was so addictively intoxicating that he just loved to abuse his power.
🎞️and he’s at that age in his early twenties when his hormones are heightened and all he wants to do is act like a rabbit in a hutch during mating season.
🎞️and sometimes you weren’t up for it.
🎞️not until he figured you out.
🎞️he’d had you going for three rounds. Overwhelmed from how his brothers had been belittling him all day during business meetings and finally finding a vector to take it out on.
🎞️you’d come undone beneath him, very exhausted from the relentlessness of his actions, when he blurted out “fuck you’re so good at this” as he released inside of you. You mewled and whined, wrapping your legs around his waist. “Again” you mumbled and he raised his brows “you sure?” He asked and you opened his eyes as he recognised how your irises had deepened two shades and smiled giddily “well alright then”
🎞️so whenever he needed something or someone to release his frustrations on all he had to do was stroke your cheek and call you “my good girl” and you were pretty much tearing his clothes off.
🎞️and even sometimes when he’s upset he uses it to tell you just how much he appreciates you. When times are particularly hard and when he just can’t cope with situations; he’d let you hold and cradle him and rock him back and forth while silent tears sunk down his face “you’re so good to me” he’d mumble over and over again in a sleepy voice until he’d fallen asleep in your arms and you’d manoeuvred him into a comfortable position as his arms tightened around you.
Aberama🌞
🌞oh god this man is insatiable.
🌞defo calls you his ‘good girl’ and doesn’t give a fuck who hears it.
🌞likes to shelter you from everything in this horrible world, thinks it’s his job to protect and shadow you from anything. You were just a dainty young thing with no clue, someone had to step up and he decided he was the man for the job.
🌞just loved to take good care of you so those for eyes stayed innocent and undamaged. Bare and pure unlike his that were darkened and locked with such an intricately pessimistic past
🌞one day Thomas Shelby decided to pay a visit to the camp and Aberama had beckoned you over and you did as you were told, he motioned for you to lean closer as you approached him. “Need you to stay out of the way for a while sweetheart, can you do that for me, is that alright? Just until he goes?” He asks with sweet eyes. You smile and nod at him “good girl, off you go” and you were off into the woods to pick some berries for a recipe you had an idea for.
🌞eventually he’d come looking for you, find you deep into a bush trying to reach a berry that you’d just had to have but couldn’t quite get too. He’d stayed back for a while, leant against a tree while he admired you. Until he’d felt the masculine desire to aid his lady. Coming behind you and placing his hands on your waist as he leant to grab the berry for you. You’d gasped but turned to see him, smiling brightly at him. “Thank you” “anything for you” he replied, pecking your lips gently.
🌞”always willing to help my special girl” he says “can always count on you can’t I?” And the grin turns into a gaping expression, wide and heavy eyes looking at him and he’d decided he had to have you right then and there.
🌞he’d hiked the skirt of your dress up to your waist and told you how much he appreciated you as you screwed your eyes shut and threw your head back.
🌞then he’d carried your worn out, sleeping figure bridal-style back to camp with your basket selection of berries resting in his arm as he looked down at you lovingly.
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i-cant-sing · 5 months ago
Text
Time Traveller AU part 10
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Part 11 is here!
You dont know why you're crying.
No.
You do know why you're crying. You dont understand why you're crying for that reason.
You've been sitting out on the balcony after Mehmed confessed to you, crying like a child who'd been yelled at by their favourite teacher- quietly and shamefully.
"Y/n?" You quickly wipe your tears away as you hear him.
Ibrahim tilts his head as he walks in front of you, his concern growing as he sees your teary eyes on your veiled face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
You sniffle, shaking your head.
"Then?" He notices your mismatched niqaab, the red color reminding him of the torn shirt of Mehmed he saw earlier. "Did something happen with Mehmed?"
You freeze, then nod.
He takes a deep breath before sitting beside you, keeping a respectable distance between you two.
"I know you might be thinking that he's a prince so he wont get in trouble for what he did, but I'm the grand vizir and the sultan's closest friend." He looks at you. "I can help you if you tell me what he did to make you cry."
"I... I am not crying because of Mehmed." You pause. "Mehmed confessed his love for me."
"And you're overwhelmed? Or do you not want his love?" Ibrahim asked cautiously.
"Of course I dont want his love, its just- it reminded me of someone." You close your eyes and immediately those blue orbs flash to your mind. "Someone from... the past."
"Did you love him?" Your eyes snapped open.
"What?"
"This person you talk of... did you love him?" Ibrahim asked.
"I..." Did you? Did you really love him? Even after what he did to you, did you still love him?
"I used to." You sniffled. "You dont love him anymore? Then why are you crying?"
Yeah. Why am I crying if I dont love him anymore?
"I guess... I just miss him. And the memories we made, the way he made me feel." You whisper.
Ibrahim looked ahead at the dark sky, clear and filled with stars. "Go to him then."
You shake your head, frowning. "I cant." You wipe the tears from your eyes. "Pasha, how do I... how do I stop Mehmed? I cant, I cant be with him. In any capacity."
"I'm working on finding a way out for you, Y/n. I promised I'd keep you safe, didnt I?" Ibrahim's determined face put you at ease somewhat.
"Just tell me."
"In due time." He looked back at the sky. "The weather is nice tonight, not humid like yesterday."
You follow his gaze to the sky. "It rained earlier." You take a deep breath, trying to inhale the sweet earthy smell of rain.
There's a word for it. Petrichor.
You looked at the man beside you when you felt movement. Ibrahim had removed his turban and loosened the collar of his kaftan. He ran a hand through his thick hair with his eyes closed as a breeze of air passed, and you saw his shoulders relax.
The wind blew your niqaab as well, lifting it just long enough for you to smell the cool air.
"You should feel air as well." He said with his eyes closed. "It'll relax your mind."
He was referring to your veil and hijab. "You have the privilege to do that. Dont show off." You smiled.
He opened his eyes and stared at you. "I'm all relaxed now. You can enjoy the privilege now." He wore his turban back and fixed his collar. "Go ahead. I'll keep a look out." He stood up before smiling down at you with... warmth. Kindness.
"Enjoy these moments when you can, Y/n. They're rare."
You watched Ibrahim walk away and true to his word, he turned away from you and kept guard while you cautiously removed your niqaab first, and then loosened your headscarf.
You closed your eyes as the cool air hit you gently. You couldnt help the sigh that escaped you when you felt it on your neck, cooling it. And how long had it been since you felt the air breeze in your hair?
Too long.
After a few more moments in silence, you finally stood up after wearing your hijab and veil and turned to him.
Ibrahim turned around when he felt your presence behind him.
"Feeling better?" You nod. "Significantly. Thank you, pasha."
He gave you a courteous smile with a slight bow of his head.
Ibrahim escorted you back to your room and bid you good night before returning to the balcony.
He sat down on the same bench as the cold wind breezed, and he closed his eyes, your face haunting his mind.
When he opened his eyes, he saw the dark clouds in the sky. A few moments later, it began raining again.
Ibrahim raised his hands to make a prayer, after all- it is said in hadith that supplication made during rain is not rejected.
With sincere intention, he made a silent prayer in his heart.
"Oh Allah, make space in Y/n's heart for me.
I would like to reside eternally in my home country.
Amen."
-
The next two weeks went by... not uneventful. You tried your best to avoid the royals, but with Mihirmah bringing in Mehmed everytime you came to teach her, and Mustafa bringing you more broaches (which Mihirmah took from you everytime) because he thought they suited you (you're pretty sure this is his way of staking his claim on you, there's no way he doesnt know Mihirmah is the one taking them when she openly flaunts them in his face.)
Baris has been as annoying as ever, pestering you for gossip and to tell him "which prince you like more so that he can win the bets".
"So what exactly did you say when sehzade Mehmed said "I love you?" Baris asked as he looked through your closet.
You were looking out the window. "Thank you."
"Thank you? You said "thank you?" God, how dumb are you?" He shook his head while you smiled, looking outside but your mind was somewhere else, somewhere behind in time.
"I love you." He repeated, eyes still twinkling at how you continued to become flustered.
You opened your mouth and then closed it like an idiot, not knowing how to reply.
"Thank you." You finally said, looking anywhere but at him. He burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh god- I tell you- I love you and you say "thank you"? You really are something out of this world!" Baldwin teased you, making you huff.
"Y/n!" Your head whipped around the annoyed eunuch. "What?"
"We have to go to the harem." "Harem? Whatever for?"
"To make you learn a sensual dance for the princes- what do you think?! Its Friday! The sultan and sehzade have gone to the mosque for the Friday prayer- they'll be coming back soon and we have to welcome them." You scowled but followed him outside before halting.
"Both of the sehzade are gone?" Baris nodded.
Oh good. "Baris, you go ahead. I'll join you later." You turned around to leave but he grabbed your forearm.
"Absolutely not! Where are you going? What are you upto?" He gave you a pointed look.
You tried to pull your arm away. "Baris please-"
"No." He tightened his grip. "You might as well tell me because I'm not letting you go alone."
Your shoulders slumped.
"I have to find something." He raised a brow. "Do you remember that room where you found me and sehzade Mustafa? The one where his loot from his last conquest was present?" He nodded.
"Well, I need to go there again." "Why, exactly?" You resisted the urge to inhale as you told him your excuse.
"Because... I have to look for a present for Mustafa."
"What?" His grip on your arm loosened.
You shrugged. "You were right. I like Mustafa and if I plan on marrying him one day, I need to find something to impress him. So if I were to look at his loot, perhaps I'd be able to find what he likes."
Baris studied your face for a few moments before grinning. "I knew you were a just keeping this pious woman charade for personal gain." You frowned at his statement. "Fine. But I'm coming along."
"No, you dont need-"
"I wasnt asking." He began walking ahead of you. "Besides, the loot was moved from that room."
You followed behind him. "Moved where?"
The corner of his lips quirked up. "To sehzade Mustafa's room." He turned to look at your drained expression, and waved you off. "Its fine. I'm with you, arent I? The guards will let us pass through and everyone in the family is busy getting ready to welcome the sultan. No one will catch us."
True to his word, none of the guards or servants stopped you two from entering the Mustafa's wing of the palace. They all seemed to either respect Baris a lot to let you two breeze past them, or they feared him. And knowing Baris and his knowing eyes that probably have dirt on everyone, you knew the latter was true.
"Baris." You stopped him from following you inside Mustafa's room. "You stand here and keep watch. I'll go check."
"Keep watch? What are you- trying to steal his undergarments-" You slapped a hand on his mouth. "Do you ever shut up?" You snapped at his amused eyes. "Stand here and keep watch." You ordered before entering the room.
It was true that you did indeed need Baris to keep a look out for anyone walking in on you, as it has happened way too many times now, but you also needed him out of sight when you got rid of the stupid portrait.
Ah yes, your portrait that Baldwin had so lovingly commissioned and had managed to survive over 400 years and you needed to get rid of before it became a part of history permanently.
You looked around his large room, spotting a cloth covered pile in the corner. You marched to it and lifted the pile, recognising the loot. However, you didnt find your portrait in it.
Where is it?
You turned around to leave, only to freeze at the sight of the person standing there.
Mahidevran sultana.
All the other times you'd been caught, by Suleiman, by Mustafa- you always dropped your head into a courtesy. But now, with Mahidevran standing there with no expression on her face yet the daunting aura coming off her in waves- it had you frozen in spot.
You opened your mouth. Then closed it.
What do you say when you're caught red handed in a prince's chambers?
Mahidevran took a deep breath.
"Have you stolen it?"
You blinked.
"S-sultana?" Stolen what?
She raised an eyebrow, clasping her hands as she continued to put you under her sharp gaze.
"Have you stolen what you came for? What exactly were you looking for? Mustafa's gold? His jewels?" She tilted her head. "Dont try to deny that you didnt come here for nothing-"
"I did." Your throat went dry as her eyes narrowed. "I did come here for something. But I'm not stealing anything. I... am trying to earn it."
"And what exactly would be that?"
"Sehzade Mustafa's respect." God, where do I come up with such bull-
It was Mahidevran's turn to blink. Earn Mustafa's respect?
"I... dont know if I love the sehzade, but I do admire him. A lot. He has been very kind to me, very civil to me and... he's gifted me a lot. Not just with his expensive jewels, but also with his company. I just thought- I just wanted to return the favour. And I came here to learn more about him- to find out about his likes and dislikes."
At the end of your explanation, a small smile formed on Mahidevran lips.
"Then you should've just come to me." She walked upto you, her eyes much gentler than the hostility they held just moments ago. "Who would know him better than his own mother?"
You could only offer her a courteous smile and nod in agreement.
"Come now. I will teach you everything there is to know about Mustafa. I know him better than I know myself." She beckoned you to follow her, her heart beaming with pride at you finally making a real effort to pursue her son. Soon everything will fall into place, Mustafa will marry you and you'll give him his heirs and Suleiman will make him the next sultan and then finally, Mustafa will kill his brothers and Hurrem's reign will end.
As you walked out of his chambers, you saw Baris smirking and you knew instantly he didnt alert you about Mahidevran's arrival on purpose. He set you up. Just like Isabella, he will betray you every chance he gets.
But... where did the portrait go?
-
"Would you like to go out today?" Mustafa had decided to take you out of the palace, after Mahidevran told him to spend more time with you. He knew taking you out would make you happy, at least you dont seem to be so tense with him. With his father's permission, who was more than happy to accompany Mustafa to his province- Manisa for a few days. After all, you did deserve a short break from teaching his little sister.
And with Mehmet gone on a conquest, it was hard for Mihirmah alone to stop either of you from leaving and spending time together.
You happily agreed, at least this would give you more freedom to explore escape routes and fix your time machine?
Once again in disguises, Mustafa gave you a small tour of his province and you had to admit, he did a fantastic job managing Manisa all by himself. You definitely saw his administrative skills, how he improved the economy and even prepared the province for any future disasters.
After handling some official matters, Mustafa was surprised to see you waiting for him at the stables.
"Would you like to go hunting?" You asked, brushing the horses's mane.
Hunting? As a woman?
"You know how to hunt?"
"No."
"Then...?"
"I may not know how to hunt, but you do. So... shall we?" You asked patting the horse.
Mustafa helped you up on the horse. "Are you sure? Its not season yet, so it'll be hard to find any animals to hunt."
"Who said anything about animals?" You chuckle before galloping away.
It took him a few moments to shake out of the shock to understand your challenge. And then he mounted his horse and sped off after you.
Mustafa had never chased after anyone, much less a woman, but he had to admit- this was fun. And more than that, he was actually surprised at how good you were at riding. Your head leaned down into a straight line with your back, your calculated decisions when to stand and when to sit, you were far ahead of him. And he understood it wasnt your first time on a horse either.
Fortunately for you, you had both practical knowledge of physics and streamlining, as well as hours- DAYS of horseback riding from your time in Jerusalem. Just about four centuries ago?
However, Mustafa was still more skilled in horse riding and after finally catching upto you, he all but brought you to a halt when he blocked your path.
You both stared at each other, heaving and trying to catch your breath before breaking out into a laughter.
Thats how the two spent most of your time, riding and hunting small animals, Mustafa being in his element when he taught you archery, holding you close yet not uncomfortably, as he helped you aim bullseye. And somehow, you would soon hit the bullseye in his heart.
"And then, Qasim took the blame for me!" Mustafa laughed as you told him about your shenanigans from your childhood. You two were having dinner and after spending so much time together, making conversation had become so much easier.
"He took care of you, didnt he?" You nodded, smiling fondly at the mention of Qasim.
"As all elder brothers do, he was the best." Noticing the sadness in your eyes, Mustafa carefully asked you.
"So, you have no family left?" You shake your head. "No, they were all killed by some bad people. I only narrowly escaped them and found refuge with my grandparents before... before the Janissaries came and took me from them. And... here I am now."
Mustafa's heart wrench slightly. He knows the importance of family.
"I could take you to see them." He offered, but his expression turned puzzled when you turned him down.
"I appreciate that but... no. I cant meet them again, it'll be too much for them. The wound is still fresh, Mustafa. And if they were to see me again only to be taken away from them, accompanied by the Janissaries- they wouldnt recover. I wont hurt them again." You whispered the last part, looking off into the distance as you remembered the old couple who helped you.
"Maybe... maybe when we return home, we can go to the market again. Maybe I'll see them there, just from a distance?" Mustafa nodded at your request. How could he say no to such an innocent ask?
"How do you like Manisa?" Mustafa changed the subject.
You nodded in approval. "I had heard about how well you've done here, but when I saw the city... I must say I am very impressed, sehzade."
"You sound surprised. Did you not think I would be a good governor?" He teased as he poured you some tea. You chuckled.
"I am not surprised. I am proud." He froze. "It definitely takes a lot to run a province properly, especially when you have a lot of pressure on you, not just from the sultan but from the very people you're responsible for. And while you have managed the finances as well as put a stop to all revolts, crushed the rebels- all amazing feats, but what really stands out for me is that you've earned the love."
"Love?" "Mmhm. Its very easy to be in a position of power and make people fear you. But its much harder to have their love. And... I'm very pleased to tell you that I have not heard one word, not a single person who had anything except praises for sehzade Mustafa."
"I am very proud of you, Mustafa." You stated, your eyes smiling from your veil.
Mustafa felt as if time had stopped.
I am very proud of you, Mustafa.
Those words, that praise... isnt that what he's yearned for all his life? Sure, Mahidevran may have said those words to him many times, but she's his mother. She always sings his praises.
I am very proud of you, Mustafa.
His father has never said it to him, but he's heard Suleiman say it to Mehmed.
With his younger brother, Mehmed, Mustafa understands that Suleiman may love him just a bit more than him. Truly, Mustafa loves Mehmed too. Its natural for him to feel affection for his younger brother.
But... doesnt he deserve to be praised by his father too? Doesnt he have the right to get a pat on his shoulder for a job well done? Or is it just "his duty as a prince" everytime he works hard? Or is it that no matter what he does, how well he does it, he'll never earn Suleiman's priority over Mehmed because his father loves Hurrem more than Mahidevran? Because of his mother? Still, she is his first wife. And still, he is Suleiman's first born. Doesnt he ever deserve to even delude himself that he has a chance at being the next sultan? At being chosen?
"Mustafa?" Your soft voice breaks him out of his trance.
"Sorry, you were saying?" He tried to smile, his mind still plagued by his previous thoughts.
You point at the box you had place in front of him. "I got you a small present, for all the times I um- lost your brooches." You coughed and he chuckled, shaking his head.
"I know Mihirmah was the one taking them from you. You dont have to lie to me, Y/n." Amusement twinkled in his eyes as he picked up your box.
You smiled sheepishly. Hey, you're glad that he isnt mad at you for that spoilt brat stealing his gifts off you.
Upon opening the box, Mustafa's grin widened as a small chuckle escaped him.
Its a small crocheted rose, a pin dangling for him to attach it to his collar.
"I know its useless next to your precious jewelled brooches and even though your mom was more than happy to give me some jewels, I wanted to give you something different. You dont have to wear it-"
"Will you place it on me?" Mustafa cut you off. You nodded as you moved closer to him and took the rose from him. "Where should I put it? Turban? Collar? Chest?"
"Wherever it'll be the most prominent." He smiled gently. You leaned closer as you carefully pinned the rose to his chest.
Mustafa held his breath as he stared at your focused eyes, and he doesnt remember the last time he was so attentive to studying someones eyes. He never realised how long your lashes were, or the crease in your eyelid, or the different shades in your eye, or the way his heart skipped a beat when you looked up at him, or the way his heart warmed when your pupils dilated and he was ready to give you the world if you asked for it.
"Perfect." He whispered as you finished placing the rose on him, but his eyes never left yours.
He finally broke out of the trance when you moved away, averting your eyes and he figured he must've been too obvious.
"Thank you." He cleared his throat before looking down at his rose. "How did you learn to... embroidery?" He changed the subject once more.
"This isnt embroidery. Its crochet." You explain to him that you learned it from your mother, which is true. Your mother, who despite having a degree in STEM, had to work as a seamstress when she moved back to your hometown to make ends meet. Only thing you left out was that your mother hated crocheting, and she only did it when she was mad, so anytime you spotted a crocheted sweater or scarf or anything, you knew your mom was having a bad day. It was ironic at how something so cute could come out of such a negative emotion, but perhaps thats what she was trying to teach you. She wanted you to channel out your negative energy into something beautiful and to be honest, crocheting did relax you because of how long it took and how repetitive it was. By the time you were done crocheting, you had processed your emotions and kept yourself in check AND now had an adorable, soft product to play with.
(Deep down you knew she was worried from how many times you had decided to use your brain to come up with elaborate pranks to get back at people. So, as mom would say- "crochet your anger away, Y/n.")
Mustafa smiled at your memories.
"I would like to give you something as well, Y/n. Ask for anything." You tried to refuse but upon his insistence, you finally sighed exaggeratively, as if this wasnt exactly what you wanted.
"Do you remember that portrait? The one in your loot when we first met?"
Mustafa nodded. "I do. But unfortunately, I had given it away to a Roman diplomat as goodwill." He watched your shoulders drop.
"Ask me for something else." He offered again but you waved him off, saying you dont want anything else at the moment.
By the time you two left Manisa, Mustafa had decided that he was going to marry you.
He likes you, he doesnt know if you love him but he does know for sure that you respect. And he respects you.
Respect. Isnt it more important than love? Not all relationships, not all marriages are out of love, Mustafa knows that. But any good marriage can only work if both parties respect each other, if they trust each other.
His father loves Mahidevran, some part of him still does love her despite marrying Hurrem. And he's sure that a small part of him loved every concubine his father slept with, but... not everyone had his respect.
No, Suleiman only loved AND respected Hurrem. He loved Mahidevran, but he didnt respect her. If he did, he wouldnt have humiliated her by marrying Hurrem, a slave, He wouldnt have humiliated her by having five kids with the same woman while neglecting his mother. He wouldnt have humiliated Mustafa by favouring Mehmed over him at every chance.
Mustafa doesnt have Suleiman's respect.
But he has yours. And his mother's. And of the people of Manisa. And that is enough for him.
Thumbing the crocheted rose, he could only hope you dont mind that he lied to you about the portrait. Its in his chambers, here in Manisa. For him to stare at, to clear his mind as he peered into those eyes above the paint smudges, that looked eerily similar to yours.
-
On returning to Constantinople (present day known as Istanbul), Mustafa had allowed you two first stop at the market as per your request of buying some souvenirs for the family, but he knew that was just an excuse for you to see your grandfather.
He watched you spot the old man in the market as you stood by the blacksmith, buying a dagger for Mihirmah despite your eyes being trained on the sad man who was busy buying vegetables. You two were still in disguises, with the guards undercover as well, when there was a commotion.
Your grandfather was being harassed by the same merchant who had given him money and Mustafa would like to think that he interfered because it was his duty as a Muslim and as a sehzade to stop evil, but deep down, he knows he only stepped in to impress you.
Mustafa and a couple of the Janissaries, all disguised as civilians, walked upto the merchant and pushed him off the old man. Before the merchant could start heckling, Mustafa threw a pouch of gold coins and told him that the debt is paid. Period.
He didnt have to say out loud the outcome if he bothered your old man again.
By the time Mustafa returned by your side, standing tall as you looked at him gratefully.
I am proud of you, Mustafa.
"Thank you." You tell him, and Mustafa's heart soars at your validation.
You respect him.
Mustafa looked to the side, the tip of his ears turning pink. "Did you get a present for Mihirmah?"
You nodded, showing him the dagger you bought (with the money Suleiman had been paying you for teaching). He approved it, and you two returned to Topkapi palace, not knowing about the shit storm that was about to come.
-
Mehmet watched from the balcony as you returned to the palace with Mustafa beside you, laughing openly as his elder brother looked at you in a way that he never wanted anyone besides him to look at you.
Mustafa would've liked to walked you to your room but after he was called by his mother, you assured him you'll make it to your room just fine.
What you werent expecting was to find Mehmed standing in the hallway, waiting for you to be alone. He wasnt supposed to return so early from his province, but after Mihirmah wrote to him about you fleeing away with Mustafa to Manisa, he wrapped up his work there and came home straight away. He thought he made it clear what his intentions were with you, but it seems like sweet talking didnt make a dent on you.
"Sehzade-" You stopped your greeting when you saw him march towards you, and you involuntarily took a step back. His body language was not friendly at the moment.
"What were you doing with Mustafa?" He seethed, his arms behind his back as if holding himself back from lashing out.
"I- I went out to get a present for Mihirmah-" You began showing him the dagger but he cut you off.
"Why?"
"Why?" You didnt understand his question. "Why what? I was away in Manisa-"
"Why?"
You frowned this time. What was he asking?
"Because sehzade Mustafa invited me-"
"Why?"
You couldnt help but glare at him annoyed. Why what?
"Because I wanted to get out of the palace-"
"Why?"
"What do you want me to say?" You finally asked. Mehmet glare intensified at your question. "You're clearly accusing me of something, so say it."
"Why did you leave the palace?"
"I told you, I went to Manisa on sehzade's invitation." You paused, trying to piece together the reason for his behaviour. Jealousy? "I couldnt have turned sehzade Mustafa's invitation, it wouldve been rude-"
"This isnt about Mustafa!" He snapped. "You shouldnt have left the palace in the first place!"
"And why not? I'm not a slave who is bound to these walls." You reminded him gently, but his patience seemed to have worn thin.
"And neither is my mother, nor Mihirmah but they still stay here, only leaving when the sultan takes them along."
You looked at him in confusion. What was he getting at?
Mehmed seemed to get even more angry at your bewilderment. "There's a reason women stay in their homes. Its not safe for them out there."
"I appreciate your concern, but I doubt anyone would want to hurt me. I am not a princess or a part of royalty. My status is far too low for anyone to even bat an eye my way-"
He laughed humourlessly. "Status? You think I'm talking about protecting you from enemies of the empire?" Mehmed neared you as you took another step back. "You're in danger from the world. You're in danger from those very men that see you everytime you walk out of these palace walls. You're a walking temptation for these men and their disgusting, vile thoughts."
You blinked at him. Is he- did he just say you tempt men?
"How can I tempt men when I'm covered from head to toe?" You point at your niqaab and your chaddar.
"YOU'RE A WOMAN! THAT ALONE IS TEMPTATION ENOUGH FOR LINGERING EYES!" He yelled as an angry vein pops up in his temple. "It doesnt matter that not an inch of your skin is visible, but the moment these men know that you're a woman, you're meat for them. You attract their attention when you leave the palace walls, you attract their eyes when they see your feminine shadow, you attract their ears when they hear your soft voice, you attract their nose when you pass by them with your sweet scent. Even if they cant see your face, your existence alone is enough to plague their minds!" He points at your niqaab. "This veil that you seem so proud of? That you think protects you from male gaze? It only makes men to want to rip it off you more!"
You're staring at him in utter disbelief. Aint no way- no way this man is accusing you of tempting men, all while insulting your niqaab.
"I dont know what men you're talking about, but you're wrong if you think I'm using my veil, my covered body to invite men to stare at me." Your tone barely suppresses your anger. "I am surprised to hear you say such things. How can you pass such comments when your own mother and sister are-"
"I can pass such comments because my mother and sister stay within the damn palace! They dont go around sauntering like you, provoking men!" He yelled, his arms no longer behind his back, hands balled up into fists.
"Do you hear yourself? You're not making any sense-"
"I AM THE NEXT SULTAN! I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU!" He spat.
"How can I provoke men when my face is covered?!" You snapped back, reaching your wits.
Hearing your voice get loud, Mehmed's fury reached new levels as he backed you upto the wall, your eyes wide as he closed the distance between you. "You think you're safe?" He whispered harshly, his eyes boring holes into you. His hand reached up and grabbed your niqaab, threatening to yank it off you. "You think this piece of cloth can protect you? What can you- what can you possibly do if I were to rip this off you? Do you think you can stop me from making your worst nightmares come to life?"
Mehmed did not relish the fear in your eyes, nor did he enjoy the tear that escaped them. But like a child who needs admonishing to keep them from harms way, he found it necessary to reprimand you.
"Dont leave the palace again, Y/n." He said, his tone softening but still stern. "I dont want anyone, man or woman to see you. I dont trust anyone around you. Understand?" He patted your cheek to make you nod, and he finally backed away and left you alone in the hall.
Well, you're never truly alone in the palace. Especially when you have enemies. And who is your enemy, Y/n?
Everyone who is envious.
-
Word of your heated moment reached Mahidevran through the servants whispers, about how close you and Mehmed were, how he had pushed you upto the wall, a raunchy scene for anyone to walk in on, how Mehmed had lifted up your veil and traced your skin.
And of course, Mahidevran is inclined to believe these spicy rumors. She's experienced first hand what power hungry women can do when they put their mind to it. And her blood boils at how you're playing both princes, as if Mehmed could ever compete with her precious Mustafa!
Mahidevran all but screams at the maids to bring you to her, her hands shaking at the thought of you cheating on Mustafa- that too just moments earlier Mustafa was telling her how much he liked you and was ready to marry you.
You. You're ruining the plan. The plan to have Mustafa become the next sultan. Because- because you've been put to it by Hurrem, havent you? Isnt that why you're trying to make her son go after you while you pursue Mehmed? You want Mustafa to lose- you want Mahidevran to lose!
When you enter her chambers, Mahidevran all but sees red at the sight of you. You'r thrown to the ground and it doesnt register at first the hard smack she delivered to your face. But as soon as you look up at her, she lunges at you and continues to slap you over and over again, hurling curses at you, calling you all sorts of derogatory names, all while you try to save your face from her assaults because even if you could fight back, you couldnt hurt a sultan's wife.
"HOW CAN YOU CHEAT ON MY MUSTAFA?! MY LION! YOU FUCKING WHORE-!" She shrieked as she continued to slap you, her nails embedding into your skin and scratching it. Your face had gone numb from her slaps, and you couldnt verbalise a response even if you tried, her hands cutting you off everytime you tried to speak, leaving you to just cry and scream.
The guards and servants heard both your cries and Mahidevrans screams, but they didnt dare interfere. How could they? The sultana could easily have their heads chopped off for interrupting her punishment.
Mahidevran's own hands had gone numb from her thrashing, but her anger overtook any sense of self preservation as she continued to beat you to a pulp. Neither of you knows how long it had been until she was pulled off you.
"Mahidevran!" You watched bleary eyed as a red head came into the view. "Have you lost your mind?!" She admonished the queen.
Hurrem turned to look at you, grimacing at your bloodied face.
"Baris." She nodded at him to help you.
Baris immediately picked you up in his arms and carried you out of there.
You watched through tired eyes at Baris's concerned face as he looked down at you.
"Shit- sorry for taking so long to save you." He whispered, watching you slip in and out of consciousness.
You dont remember how, but the next moment you opened your eyes, you were in Hurrem's chambers with Baris tending to your wounds and Hurrem sitting on the ottoman watching you with a steady gaze.
You wince as Baris placed ointment on your busted lip.
"Careful, Baris." Hurrem warned, standing up and walking upto you. "She looks worse enough as it is. We dont need her falling unconscious in front of the sultan because you treated her injuries too harshly. He'll have your head chopped off." She joked though neither you nor Baris laughed; after all her words did hold some truth.
Wait- sultan?
"S-sultan?" You croaked, and Baris quickly helped you drink some water. "Why- why is the sultan coming?"
Hurrem looked at you in confusion. "Why? So that Suleiman could see what Mahideravn did to you and finally get rid of her. After all, Suleiman did warn anyone to not harm you. So, we can finally get rid of that thorn for once and for all." She sighed dreamily before looking at you. "All you have to do is cry in front of him and tell him how cruel Mahidevran is-"
"N-no." Baris's hand that was tending to you scratched cheek halted at your interruption.
"Excuse me?" Hurrem's sharp tone sent shivers down your spine.
"No. I wont say Mahidevran did this to me." In actual history, Mahidevran despite being exiled, outlives Suleiman, Hurrem and all their children. If you were to confess to what Mahidevran did, it would run the risk of Suleiman punishing her to the dungeons or worse, either way putting her life at risk and ruining the timeline.
"But she did do this to you." Hurrem stated, frowning at your attempt at denial. Or was it defense? "Ah, is it because you love Mustafa? You dont want to put his mother in trouble?"
"No. Mahidevran may have hurt me, but sehzade Mehmed was the reason. Your son did this and if you force me to confess, then that is what I will say- Mehmed did this to me." You replied, voice unwavering despite your heart beating loudly against your chest.
"Are you threatening me?" Hurrem glared at your audacity. Baris could sense the impending doom, and he feared you were at the receiving end of it this time.
"No." You swallowed. "I am merely stating at how this will play out. I suggest you dont have the sultan come and see me, better yet- throw me out of this palace altogether."
Hurrem stared at your bruised face and then she saw the determination in your eyes. She shot a look to Baris that had him scurrying you out of the room to give you two privacy.
"Even if you dont rat out Mahidevran, I can."
"You could. And then I will tell the sultan that it didnt happen, and you'll end up looking like a jealous second wife pinning the blame on the first wife." You tell her, watching as her face turned red with fury. "You could always let me go."
"Let you go? Why should I help you leave? And dont try to use Mehmed's behaviour with you as an excuse."
"Behaviour? He ordered me that I dont leave the palace walls ever because he thinks that I seem to invite men to leer at me." You tattled on him. "It may seem hard to believe sultana, but I dont wish to marry any of the princes, nor do I wish to stay within this palace. You know that the only reason I'm still here is because I couldnt say no to the sultan. But if you were to help me escape-"
You were silenced as Mahidevran burst through the door, her eyes zeroing in on Hurrem standing next to you.
"You-! You set me up! Both of you!" She shrieked as she stomped over to you two but Baris walked in with Mustafa, Mehmed and Mihirmah, all looking at the state of your injured face. They all stared at you, but it was Mehmed's eyes that pricked you and you quickly grabbed your veil, tying it around your face to cover it.
Mihirmah rushed to your side, grabbing you by the shoulders. "Y/n! Who did this to you?!"
You didnt bother looking at Hurrem or Mahidevran when you replied.
"I dont know."
Mihirmah's brows knitted together. "You... dont know? It was a blind attack? Did you not see who was attacking you? Or did you just not recognise the attacker?"
You took a deep breath.
"I dont know."
Mehmed stepped forward, eyes narrowing at your answer. "What do you mean-"
He stopped talking when the doors opened again and in walked Suleiman and Ibrahim, the sultan's eyes scanning the room before falling on you.
You had stood up to bow to him and you kept your head down for as long as you could to not draw attention.
But Mihirmah had other plans in mind.
"Dad! Y/n was attacked again! So much worse this time!" She cried, clinging onto your shoulder.
Suleiman's concern grew as he looked you up and down, reading your body language: head down, shoulders tense, hands fumbling.
You were afraid.
"Y/n?" He gently called your name as you hesitantly looked up. Its hard enough to lie to sultan, but lying when you look him dead in the eyes is a whole another thing.
"Show me." He commanded, and you had no choice but to comply, as your slowly removed your veil.
Suleiman's eyes widened at the state of your face- bruised, bloodied and swollen. He walked closer, eyes watching you in disbelief. Who could have done this to you, that too in his palace?
"Who did this to you?"
You averted your eyes, lest they betrayed you. "I- I dont know."
"You didnt see them?" Suleiman was as confused as Mihirmah. "Did they attack you from behind? No- they scarred your face, they attacked you from the front. You should've seen them. Did you recognise them?"
You kept your head down. Shit. What are you supposed to say now?
"Y/n?" You looked up at him. Suleiman saw fear. "Dont be scared. Tell me- who did this to you?"
You swallowed thickly. "I dont know."
"Did you see their face?"
"I- yes." There was no point in lying about it when he already presented logic.
"Then? Who was it?"
"I dont know- I dont remember." You whispered.
Mustafa was trying to make sense of your statement when he glanced at his mother. Mahidevran was shifting on her feet nervously, clasping her hands tightly as she glared at you.
No. No, she couldnt have.
Suleiman's gaze hardened at your words. Who were you protecting? Or did you really not recognise who it was?
"Ibrahim." The vizir stepped forward. "Find out who did this to Y/n." Suleiman ordered as he stood up, turning around to leave when his eyes fell on Mahidevran, who was looking at him with a tight lipped smile.
"Are you alright, Mahidevran?" He asked his first wife, who nodded eagerly.
"Y-yes. Of course, my sultan! I'm just- I'm just worried for Y/n." Suleiman studied her for a few more moments before he turned his attention to Hurrem.
"You did right by informing me about this, Hurrem." He praised his second wife, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "I trust you to take care of Y/n, hm?"
Hurrem bowed her head and feigned a smile. "Of course, Suleiman." However, the sultan spotted her smile faltering and for a second, he saw her glancing at Mahidevran before averting her gaze.
Something was wrong. Suleiman's sixth sense was keeping him unsettled.
He looked at Mahidevran again, this time more closely as he studied her from top to bottom and thats when he saw it-
Her hands hiding under her sleeves.
Suleiman walked to Mahidevran and before anyone could react, he grabbed her hands and pulled.
Mahidevran's knuckles were bruised, her nails stained with your blood, her palms red.
"You did this to her?" He asked in disbelief. His Mahidevran? He knew she was a little unhinged at times, lost control of her emotions but... was she really capable of such violence?
"Suleiman I- she-"
"You're not denying." His grip tightened around her hands. "Mahidevran, have you lost your mind?!"
"Suleiman-"
"SILENCE!" He pushed her away, eyes blown wide in rage. Mahidevran trembled at the sight. "Have you completely lost it?! Why would you do this to her?! She's just a child! What is wrong with you?!"
Mahidevran fell to her knees, begging him for forgiveness. "Suleiman, I'm sorry-"
"Sorry? You're sorry?! LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER!" He pointed at your face. "Why did you do this? What could she have possibly done to you to deserve this?"
"Suleiman, I only-" She stopped. What reason could she give? She cant tell him about you cheating on Mustafa with Mehmed, nor would it do her any good to pin the blame on Hurrem now. It would only weaken her position and cause Mustafa trouble.
Mustafa. She has to do this for him, to save his throne.
She mustered up all her courage, casting her ego aside as she looked at you.
"I'm sorry, Y/n."
Your heart dropped. No. Mahidevran just admitted to her crime. Suleiman will punish her. She will die- no, no no-
"Its okay, sultana. It was an accident." Everyone was looking at you now.
"An accident?" Mihirmah asked.
You nodded. "I- I entered her chambers while she was asleep. I startled the sultana, she thought I was an intruder- that I came to attack her. The room was dark- she couldnt have recognised me- it was all an accident."
Everyone knew it was big fat lie, but then again, no one was willing to refute your claims. On what grounds? With no proof, they were all inclined to take your word, even if they didnt believe it.
Suleiman looked back at Mahidevran. "You still didnt have any right to beat her that badly. You've truly lost it, Mahidevran. If you werent Mustafa's mother, I would've-" He took a breath to calm himself down. "You cant stay here anymore. I exile you to Manisa." And with that Suleiman walked out of the room.
-
Mustafa had left your room to see off his mother. He came to you after to thank you for trying to cover for Mahidevran, despite his father still banishing her.
Then again, exile was the least painful punishment for what she did to you.
He held his mother's hands as the servants packed her belongings. He wanted to go to Manisa with her, but she refused to let him accompany her.
"You must stay here, Mustafa." She cupped his cheek. "You need to protect Y/n. All this time, I thought she was cheating on you but Hurrem set her and me up. She wanted this to happen, for me to hurt Y/n! You must stay here and protect Y/n from Hurrem and Mehmed. Do you understand?" Mahidevran's habit of blaming everyone but herself for her actions prevailed over logic as usual.
He nodded, kissing the palm of her hand. "The next time we meet, I will bring her to you as my wife."
A bright smile graced her face as she quickly took off her own ring and gave it to him.
"I will pray for you, my lion." She kissed his forehead. Mustafa smiled, pulling her in for a hug.
"Dont worry about Mehmed, hm? He wont be a hurdle." She whispered to him.
Mustafa didnt understand what she meant about Mehmed, his own mind occupied by you. He saw how angry his father was when it came to you, almost as protective as he was of Mihirmah, how quick he was to have his mother- a queen on her knees, for you. He knew his dad never respected Mahidevran, but his actions were also ruled over by his concern for you.
Mustafa now understands how dire the situation is. He now understands why his mother wanted him to marry you. You- you are the key to having the throne, the key to ruling the empire, the key to everything.
-
While Hurrem was busy "calming" Suleiman down, which in fact was really just her getting praised for being a good wife, queen and most importantly now- "a mother figure to Y/n", for how quickly she took action and saved you from Mahidevran, how she tended to your wounds and brought you to her chambers rather than "risking Mahidevran attacking you by leaving you in the infirmary", her eldest was in your room.
Baris had just helped you sit on the sofa and was tending to your wounds when Mehmed, the sehzade who had just moments ago seen Mustafa leave your room, had his blood boiling at the sight of your face uncovered as Baris applied healing balms to your wounds.
"Get out." He ordered Baris, who looked at you before leaving the room.
Mehmed sat down beside you, picking up the healing balm and was about to apply it to your skin when you turned your face away.
"I can do it myself, sehzade-"
"Mehmed." He corrected you before turning your face to him harshly. "If you can do it yourself, then why let Baris do it? Do you enjoy his touch?" His tone was accusatory and full of jealousy, and you were getting real tired of it.
"I'm sorry, I was far too disoriented to notice it was a man who was tending to my wounds." Your sarcasm made his eyes narrow at you, as he continued to apply the ointment.
"Baris is not a man, he's a eunuch." And yet he's jealous of him. "And its not about a man touching you, i dont want anyone touching my wife-to-be."
"I dont remember agreeing to a proposal-"
"Then let me refresh your memory." He cut you off. "When I said "I love you", I meant we were to be married. As for a proposal, there never was one and there never will be one because I am a sehzade, and the next sultan. You dont get to say no to me. Do I make myself clear?"
If you had the means to get out of this era, you would've slapped the egoistical, chauvinistic, toxic man in front of you.
"Yes." You replied.
Mehmed stood up, but before he left, he looked at your veil.
"If you have to remove your veil to let your injuries heal, you better make sure you're alone."
Asshole.
-
A few weeks later, you were once again standing in the harem with the rest of the royals. Today, the sultan had to leave to go on a conquest. Ibrahim was also leaving, which unnerved you because you dont want to stay in a place without the only sane person who had your back.
Sure, Baris saved you but you knew better than to trust that piece of shit because his loyalty could be easily bought. Just like how you knew Hurrem did indeed was paying him to follow you, let you get beat up, and then fetch her to be your "saviour". And you knew that the only reason Baris would help you ever again, was because he had his own agenda on being your personal servant if you were to marry one of the princes.
Suleiman and Ibrahim entered the harem, ready to receive farewell from his family.
Hurrem was the first in line, kissing his hand and then him, before Suleiman pulled her in his embrace.
"I trust you to take care of the palace in my absence." He said to her, patting her cheek affectionately.
"Of course. I pray for your victory, Suleiman. May Allah sharpen your sword and defeat the enemy." She wished him well.
Suleiman then went down the queue, hugging his sons, daughters, favourite women of the harem, and then you.
"You will be safe here, Y/n." He watched you kiss his ring before bringing his hand to your forehead. With your head bowed, he kissed your the top of your head. "When I return, I have something important I'd like to discuss with you."
Your heart dropped. Discuss something important? Like what?
"Your marriage to his son, girl!" You heard Baris's voice in the back of your head.
Ibrahim only hugged Suleiman's sons, the royal women offering him words of support and prayers. When he reached you, you gave him a quick courtesy and a small prayer, but your eyes- they screamed for help.
Ibrahim! Dont leave me!
And Ibrahim got your message, but with everyone watching, he could do nothing but nod and move on.
As soon Suleiman left with his troops, you quickly made your way to return to your chambers to hide away until they returned. After your incident with Mahidevran, you had taken some precautions from being mauled again because really- who can you trust around here?
Mihirmah would come to your room to get her lessons, which now with her father gone, you doubt she will come to get them. Fine by you really, she's still a brat who finds glee in flipping you over your back.
Mehmed was much harder to avoid, he insisted on having lunch with you (because Hurrem wanted all her kids together with her at dinner). And these lunches were quiet stiff, because Mehmed may not be threatening you or showing off his jealousy, you still havent forgotten his remarks and you didnt really talk besides giving him curt replies, which he doesnt notice because his head is so far up his-
Mustafa was the normal one among them, and while he did offer you to take you out to the market or even the gardens, you didnt. Not because you were scared of Mehmed finding out, no. It was because- well, what happened to Mahidevran. Mustafa may have come to you and thanked you for trying to cover up for her, but no matter what way you see it- his mother was thrown out of the palace because of you.
And he has to hold some grudge against you for it. No matter how much he smiles, how many gifts he gives you, you just cannot risk him taking you the gardens or the market where there are no witnesses when "someone" ambushes you.
You've used most of your time holed up in your room with your time machine because the last time you went out with Mustafa to the market, you were able to get some tools and metals from the blacksmith while Mustafa was busy saving your "grandfather".
-
Its been 2 weeks since Suleiman left. Two weeks since you've been on high alert around this mad house, two weeks since you started losing sleep from all the stress and tension of being around Mehmed and Mustafa. Sure, Ibrahim gave you a entourage of maids and guards to keep you safe before he left, but how could that put you at ease when your entourage could fall with the flick of the wrist from these royals.
You've been able to repair your time machine as much as you could, but it still hasnt worked. You dont understand what you need to do, you've even tried smashing it against the ground like the last time you transported, but no. It didnt help.
You sat on the bench on the balcony, the same one when Ibrahim was here with you. You came here to get some fresh air, and you hoped Baris doesnt run into you because you just have it in you to hear him make a comment about the bags under your eyes.
The sky was filled with dark clouds again, the wind chilly and you smiled under your veil.
It was going to rain today.
Your mind flashed back to the last time you were here with Ibrahim. Just like now, you were worried and tense then. But he was there to calm you down, to put your mind to ease.
"You should feel air as well." He said with his eyes closed. "It'll relax your mind."
You closed your eyes as his voice came to mind.
"Enjoy these moments when you can, Y/n. They're rare."
You glanced behind you, at your entourage. The guards had their back to you, looking away from you and the maids. The maids all stood behind you, giving you space. They could see your stress.
A gentle breeze hit your face, and it was enough to push you.
You quietly removed your veil, setting it beside you before loosening up your headscarf.
A sigh escaped your lips as the gentle breeze cooled your neck, your tense shoulders dropping at the earthy scent of rain. You closed your eyes, trying to imagine yourself back in your time, back when you were a child, carefree and stress-free.
Home. I want to go home.
"Y/N!" Your respite was cut short by Mehmed's angry scream, who looked at you like he'd just witnessed the greatest crime you could ever commit: sitting unveiled, with part of your hair exposed along with your neck.
"What the hell are you doing?!" You quickly grabbed your niqaab and tied it around your head as you saw storm towards you, his guards following behind him.
"Mehmed- I-"
"You what?! You were sitting here EXPOSED! With the servants to watch!" He yelled at you, grabbing your arm painfully as he yanked you from your seat. "Didnt I explicitly tell you to fucking stay covered! Do you like putting on a show for-"
"ENOUGH!" Something in you snapped. "I wont have you accuse me over and over again! I was not putting on a show, Mehmed! I was just getting some air! Do I not deserve it?! As for putting on a show- the guards had their backs turned, they werent staring at me! Only the maids were behind me, and they too werent able to see my face! Now, let go!"
Mehmed's grip on your arm only tightened, and you almost yelped in pain if you werent so busy glaring at him. "Just because you think they didnt see you face, doesnt mean its alright for you to sit naked!" He yanked you closer as he bared his teeth at you. "I told you not to to ever remove your niqaab in front of others. You disobeyed me- my command! And now you will pay the price! As will they!" He yelled at his guards to arrest you entire entourage and throw them to the dungeons.
"Mehmed, stop-" "Shut up!" He yelled as he began dragging you away and towards his own room, throwing you inside.
He stalked towards you. "Since you seem to have no sense of preservation for your modesty, I suppose I will have to help you out as your husband-to-be. You will stay here until I return and if you try to escape, I swear to God, Y/n! I will fucking break your legs!"
You watched in horror as he left the room, locking it from outside and you dont doubt he had guards outside not to let anyone in or out.
I cant stay here any longer- I cant rely on Ibrahim any longer. Mehmed has fucking lost it, and I need to get out of here right now.
You fumble out your time machine, trying to turn it on to any time period really- you cant stay here anymore.
"Fuck!" You throw it against the wall, crying into your hands out of frustration. Why the fuck wont it work? A few moments later, you finally pick it up, pocketing it back in your clothes.
Hours passes by as you sat on the floor, crying at your demise, waiting for Mehmed to return and do whatever his insane self pleases.
The room had darkened, and you suspected it was night now. You look down and find the bracelet on your hand, the one Suleiman gave you and an idea popped in your head.
Bribery.
You knocked at the door.
"Hello? Whoever is out there- please- just open the door! I'll give you my jewels! Anything you need, I'm willing to pay!" You plead for a few minutes before slamming your hands against the wood, falling to your knees as you sobbed. "Please! I'm begging you! Help me-!" You stumbled back as the doors swung open.
"Well, if this is how quickly you resort to going on your knees, I have failed as a teacher." Baris grinned at you from above.
"B-baris?" You sniffled as he helped you stand up. "What are you-"
"I'm saving your ass. Duh." He pulled you out of the room, looking out both ways before taking the path on the left. You spot two guards lying on the ground.
"How did you-" You point at the them but he drags you along.
"I'm not just a pretty face, Y/n. You seriously underestimate me." He comments, his eyes scanning for anymore people. "Now we must make haste. Otherwise, your lover boy may take a break from the dungeons to torture us instead-" He stopped talking when he looked at you.
"Torture? Baris, what did Mehmed do to them?" Your entourage was thrown into the dungeons. Baris avoided your eyes. "Baris." You insisted.
"He's having their eyes stitched up for staring at you."
You face paled. Mehmed is insane. He's fucking insane. Baris took your hand and dragged your shellshocked body.
The two of you soon made it out of the palace undetected. 4 horses and 5 women waited for you two there. You recognised them- they were from the harem.
"Baris, what are you- why are they here?" You whispered harshly. If the palace finds out there are concubines missing, it'll only cause more trouble for you and him.
"Relax, they're here to help us." He waves at them, making them giggle before he looks back at you. "We will all get on the horses and take different paths to throw the Janissaries off long enough for you to escape."
"Escape to where?"
"Wherever you want to go. I would suggest going West and leaving the empire altogether, maybe go to the Romans. Keep a low profile and try not to seduce any more unhinged men." He pokes fun at you, despite the situation you're in.
You chuckle, tears of gratefulness in your eyes. "Thank you, Baris." You sniffle, taking off your bracelet. "Here. You can have this. Its the least I can do-"
"Girl, you need it more than I do." Baris pushes the bracelet back to you. "Besides, I've already been compensated generously."
"By who?" You ask and he gives you a knowing look. "Ibrahim?" He nods.
"He had been paying me since the moment you set foot in the palace to keep you safe. You think I just stuck around you because I like you so much?" You slapped his shoulder, making him laugh. "Okay, you werent all that bad. But wherever you go, I'm sure Ibrahim pasha will find you."
"And why is that?"
"Well, he was going to marry you." "What?" Baris looked at you confused. "You dont know? Ibrahim pasha talked to Sultan Suleiman about this. The sultan gave his blessing, but he wanted to ask for your consent as well. But then they went to war-"
So thats what Suleiman wanted to discuss with you.
"Anyways, Ibrahim pasha had given me permission to do whatever is necessary to keep you safe, even if it meant taking you out of the palace- or- well staging your kidnapping. When the time comes, Ibrahim pasha will find you and I will be long gone by then." Baris explained.
"You're willing to leave the palace behind? For me? I thought you liked it here." You were touched at his willingness to help you, even if he was taking money.
Baris shrugged, looking at Topkapi palace longingly. "I've had my fun here. Its time for me to go somewhere else. Have a fresh start, where I'm no longer a slave."
You smiled, nodding understandingly. "And them? Are they willing to risk it all for me as well?"
"Oh no. They're in love with me. And when they heard I was leaving, they decided to come along. Just cant get enough of me." You shot him a look. "We might start a brothel. You should come visit with Ibrahim pasha someday."
"Why the fuck would I go to a brothel-" He broke into laughter at your reaction.
"I'm just joking! But do visit me, hm?" He took your hand and pressed a kiss to it. He helped you up on the horse before mounting his with a girl behind him, the others mounting the other horses.
"Thank you, Baris. For everything." Baris gave you a nod. You suddenly heard yells from behind you.
"Time to go!" Baris yelled.
-
You were galloping through the woods, the same forrest where you had first landed here. It was raining dogs and cats, making it hard for you to see ahead of you and even harder for the horse to run through the wet ground.
Your mind wandered back to Ibrahim. All this time, you thought he'd abandoned you and yet he was the one who had your back.
Was he really going to marry you?
You doubt he would've. Or even if he did, the question was- would you have said yes?
Maybe. He is the sane one of the ottomans, and apparently the only one who is willing to help you. You're sure he wouldnt have done anything unbecoming of a man even if you married him. And why would you not marry him? It buys you time to work on your machine and get out of this era, AND it protects you from the royals, especially Mehmed.
Mehmed. Your heart wrenched at the thought of him punishing those poor servants. Did he really have their eyes stitched up? What would he have done to you on returning? More importantly, what would he have done if he caught you escaping.
"I'll break your fucking legs!"
You shuddered at his threat, leaning down to speed through the woods.
Maybe God finally cut you a break- how else could you explain all this? Baris being the one to break you out, despite you being sure he'd betray you the first chance he gets. Ibrahim pasha having your back all this time. You escaping the palace without the Janissaries or anyone hot on your tail. Maybe your time machine will finally work too. Maybe you'll finally make it out of here. Maybe you just lucked out-
You heard the clouds above you roar loudly and in the next moment, you heard yourself scream as you were blinded by a white flash, throwing you off your horse.
You laid on the ground, pain radiating throughout your body, vision blurry, palpitations in your ear as you tried to make sense of what had happened.
A lightening strike.
You were struck by lightening.
If you werent in so much pain, rapidly losing consciousness, you wouldve laughed at your fortune.
Lucked out?
More like out of luck.
-
Mustafa had walked in on Mehmed screaming and threatening to kill every servant, his sword bloody. Looking behind his younger brother, he spotted two headless guards.
"Mehmed?" He asked cautiously.
"She escaped! She fucking ran!" Mehmed yelled before he could ask what was wrong. He raised his sword to cut off yet another head, but Mustafa stopped him.
"Tell me what happened." Mustafa's strong voice had Mehmed reeling some of his anger back, explaining what had happened.
After listening to him, Mustafa sighed. "We'll find her, Mehmed. Calm down." He looked at his Janissaries and ordered them to close off the city, and the docks. No one leaves.
"She could've already left the city-"
"Its unlikely for her to have managed to do that, that too when its pouring heavily." Mustafa, the cool headed prince, began to think logically.
"Then where is she? The city is still too big! It'd be like finding needle in a haystack." Mehmed sneered, glaring at the servants.
Mustafa closed his eyes, trying to think of where you could possibly ran off to.
He snapped his eyes open. Of course, you'd be there.
"I know where she is." He stood up, Mehmed following behind him.
-
You woke up to someone wiping your cheek. It took a few moments for your vision to clear, your eyes looking around what seemed to be a cottage before landing on the person beside you.
Old lady.
It was the old lady. The one who saved you when you dropped at her doorstep when you entered this era.
"Oh dear, you're finally awake!" She smiled gently, continuing to wipe the mud off your cheek. "You're lucky my husband was out when he spotted you unconscious. You could've drowned in that rain, you know?" She said in a chiding town, as if you chose to lie down in the pouring rain.
The old man walked out of the kitchen with a cup of hot tea in his hands.
"Here you go, hun. Drink this." He handed you the cup before sitting beside his wife.
"Now, where've you been all this time?"
By the time you were finished telling them everything that happened to you, from being kidnapped by the Janissaries to be sold as a slave, to almost dying a few times in the palace, to being set up to marry one of the two princes, to being struck with lightening, the old lady was in tears as she pulled you into her embrace while the old man continued to yell a stream of curses at the Ottomans.
When you tried to leave, they stopped you- telling you its absolutely unsafe for you to go anywhere in this bad weather. And well, hearing the heavy rain and the fact that you were indeed struck by lightening, you couldnt really argue.
"Okay, just for tonight."
While you were having dinner, you were taken back to your memories- memories of your own family. Sure, you were surrounded by family at the palace as well, but they didnt feel like home. They didnt really care for you, not like this cute old couple does. And to be honest, you missed this feeling. From your time in Jerusalem, to your time in the palace, this is the first moment of normalcy you've had in a while.
You looked at them, smiling as they made silly jokes and ate food. They included you in their conversations, they fed you, they made sure you were comfortable when you slept in the guest room- or what you assumed was their daughter's room.
You didnt tell them, you couldnt but you did try finding out what happened to her. Baris told you what did.
Naima. That was their daughter's name.
Naima was brought to the palace by the Janissaries as a concubine, and only a few weeks in- she was chosen to sleep with the sultan.
She killed herself the next day. She had jumped off the roof, but she didnt die instantly. She died as Hurrem watched from her balcony, and she refused to alert anyone to help the poor woman.
You didnt want to take this last bit of hope from the couple- the hope that Naima may still be alive and will come home one day.
-
You were woken up to someone banging on the door.
"BY THE ORDER OF SEHZADE MUSTAFA! OPEN THE DOOR!" Someone yelled from outside. The old man sprung to his feet as he peered through the window.
Janissaries. A whole troop of them and in the very front, sitting on top of their horses were Mustafa and Mehmed.
"Get her out of here." The old man told his wife, who hurried you out of bed and was about to leave through the back door when she saw the Janissaries out there as well.
"Come on." She dragged you up the stairs to the roof, just as you heard the door being broken down and yelling.
Reaching the roof, you looked down only to see the cottage was surrounded by the guards.
"We're surrounded." You whispered. "There is no escape."
"There is." The old lady whispered back to you, ushering you towards the edge of the roof. "Jump."
You looked at her. "What?"
"I wont let them take you back there. Jump, Y/n." She pushed you towards the edge.
"No- I'm not jumping!" You tried to back away but she gripped your arm.
"You have to, Y/n! I wont let them- I wont let any man take advantage of you! I wont let them do to you what they did to my Naima!" She cried, pushing you towards the ledge again, but you resisted against her, causing you to fall onto the ground.
"I'm doing this to save you!" She cried again, straddling you as she wrapped her hands around your throat. "Why wont you understand-"
"STOP!" A voice yelled. You both looked to the side to find Mustafa and Mehmed, the latter holding the old man.
Mustafa raised a hand in surrender. "Let her go. And we wont hurt your husband."
The old lady looked conflicted, as she looked at Mustafa and then at Mehmed who held a sword at the old man's neck, ready to slice it.
"I- I-" She continued to hold your throat as you struggled to breathe.
For a brief moment, the couple made eye contact and the old man smiled at her reassuringly.
"Do it. Save Y/n." He told her, but before anyone could react, Mehmed sliced off the man's head, Mustafa looking at his younger brother in shock as the woman shrieked before she began choking you hard.
With lightening speed, Mustafa pulled her off you and pushed her to the side.
"Y/n? Are you okay?" He crouched beside you, checking on you as you took huge gulps of air before nodding. Mustafa sighed in relief as he helped you stand up, only to turn around to find Mehmed holding the woman over the edge.
"Mehmed, dont!" He yelled, but it was too late. Mehmed kicked her in the back and the old lady fell to the ground. Mustafa left your side to look over the edge, eyes wide as he saw the woman hadnt died. Blood sputtered out of her mouth as she stared up with eyes blown wide.
And then, a sword fell on her neck straight down, finally killing her.
He looked to his side only to find Mehmed looking down disinterested, as if he hadnt just brutally murdered an old woman.
His younger brother.
A monster.
He watched Mehmed whisper threats to you as he dragged you back outside, practically throwing you over his horse. Mustafa let him take you- he wasnt going to fight who gets to ride with you when they were all going home.
Except... not.
Mustafa's brows furrowed in confusion as he watched Mehmed and his Janissaries take a turn and go a completely different path then the one to the Topkapi palace.
Where was he taking you?
Mustafa sped after Mehmed, his troops following behind as he yelled at Mehmed to stop.
But he didnt, not until an abandoned palace came to view.
Mehmed got off his horse, pulling you down before nodding at his men to take you inside.
"What the hell are you doing?" Mustafa asked as he got off his own horse, marching towards you but Mehmed blocked his path.
"What I should've done in the first place- duel."
Mustafa looked at him in disbelief. Duel? "You want to fight me? Have you truly lost it?!"
Mehmed got up in his face. "I've seen the way you look at her. I am not going to stand for it any longer."
"Mehmed-"
"Only one of us can have her, Mustafa. This ends today." Mehmed pushed him as he drew his sword.
Mustafa lips settled into a thin line.
"Fine." He pulled out his sword. "May the better prince win."
-
"Let go of me!" You try pulling yourself free from the guards grasps, but they continue to haul you inside the abandoned castle.
"I said- let go-!"
"Oh good, you're finally here!"
Mihirmah stood in front of you with a grin.
"Mihirmah? What are you doing here?"
She raised a brow. "What am I doing here? I'm here to prepare you!"
"Prepare me?"
"Mmhm! For your wedding to Mehmed!"
"What?"
She shrugged, taking you by the arm as she pulled you inside a room. "Well, when I found out you had run away, I suggested to Mehmed that the only way to make sure you stay by his side is for him to marry you. And I knew my mom would've stopped him from doing that, so I suggested he bring you here! By the time dad returns, you'd already be married to Mehmed and dad will definitely choose him to be the next sultan! Its only a cherry on top that Mustafa came here as well, and when Mehmed kills him- dad will have no choice but to choose Mehmed as his heir!"
You watched in disbelief before trying to make a run for it, but she anticipated it, snapping her fingers for the guards to lock the doors.
"Now, I will send the maids inside to get you ready. I need to go check on the sheikh who has to marry you two off." She smiled before leaving you alone.
She could care less about the sheikh, right now- she wanted a seat upfront to the showdown! Mehmed was going to win and she needed to be there to witness it.
-
Mustafa dodged Mehmed's attack again. Despite agreeing to the duel earlier, Mustafa had been taking on the defensive. Mehmed was his younger brother, he was still family even if he incredibly insane.
He cant bring himself to hurt him-
"Why arent you fighting?" Mehmed growled as he swiped at him again. "Are you that afraid of dying? Fight me like a man!"
"I dont want to fight you at all." Mustafa jumped back as he striked again. "You're my brother-"
"Like hell we are! One way or another, I'm killing you Mustafa! Be it today, or tomorrow when I'm finally sultan, because you know your mother screwed up any chance you had to be chosen! She fucked up and now you will pay for it!" Mehmed yelled, finally hitting a nerve with Mustafa.
My mother. They dont respect her.
Mustafa raised his sword as he struck over and over again, Mehmed barely able to escape the blade as it sliced his skin many times.
My own brother wants to kill me. And if I die, then so will my mother,
Mehmed groaned as Mustafa suddenly sliced the skin on his arm, the younger prince rolling onto the ground to avoid getting his arm cut off clean. But Mustafa was faster, kicking him in the stomach as Mehmed dropped onto the ground in pain.
"I am the better son." Mustafa said with a kick to his stomach.
"I am the better ruler." Another kick.
"I am the better choice." Another kick.
"I am better than you. In every way." Mustafa raised his sword to drop it on Mehmed's neck, just as cruelly he had done to that old woman.
Mehmed raised his hand in surrender as he coughed up blood.
"Please, Mustafa- d-dont. I'm your brother!" Mehmed begged for his life.
And in that moment, Mustafa saw his younger brother, the small child he promised to always protect.
Mustafa closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before stepping away.
"I. Win." He stated, turning around to leave. He was the bigger man. Once again, his mercy overtook his- no his love for his brother overtook his logic. He knows Mehmed wont back down, he will fight with him again. But that will be for another day-
"M-Mustafa." He looked back at him, his heart dropping at the sight.
Mehmed was coughing up blood, his face looked pale- and then he puked.
Something was wrong. Very wrong.
And the moment his mouth started foaming, Mustafa remembered his mother's words.
"Dont worry about Mehmed, hm? He wont be a hurdle."
Mahidevran may have been exiled, but she still had a few people loyal to her. People who wanted Mustafa as the next sultan, not any of Hurrem's sons. People who more than willingly began microdosing Mehmed with poison.
-
You were trying to break a window to escape when the doors swung open. Mihirmah had returned, tears running down her cheeks.
"Mihirmah-" She hugged you before you could beg her to let you go.
"You look beautiful." She whispered as she pulled back, admiring the maid's work. "Mehmed always did adore the color red on you." She said in a trance.
"Mihirmah, please let me go." You plead and she gives you a broken smile.
"Thats what I came here to do." She whisperd, cupping your cheek. "I'm letting you go, Y/n. Mehmed's dead."
Oh. Thats why she's crying. But with Mehmed dead, you get to leave.
"I'm sorry to hear that." You said, watching her stumble back towards the door.
"I'm going to miss you, Y/n." She nodded, grabbing the fire torch off the wall. "Tell Mehmed I love him."
What?
Mihirmah dropped the torch onto the ground, setting the wooden floor ablaze instantly.
"Mihirmah-!" She left the room, closing the doors before you could make your escape.
"Mihirmah! Open the door!" You slammed your fists as the room began catching on fire.
Mihirmah locked the door from outside, wiping her tears away as she walked away.
You are Mehmed's bride. You belong to him, in life and now... in death.
Goodbye Mehmed. She closed her eyes. You wont be alone now.
She watched from the balcony as the Janissaries- her and Mehmed's troops, cornered Mustafa and pushed him to the ground like an animal for slaughter.
The guard looked at her.
She gave a nod.
The next moment, Mustafa's head was chopped off.
-
Fucking Mihirmah!
You slammed your fists against the door one last time before falling down to the ground, fire spreading around the room.
Fire. Why the fuck does it always have to be fire? Why is everyone so hell bent upon burning you to crisp? First in the desert with Salauddin, then those concubines in the harem, now this. If you didnt have a phobia before, you sure do have one now!
You pulled out your time machine hopelessly. Piece of crap wont even turn on-
Its on.
Your eyes widened at the screen illuminating.
Its working.
But how-
The lightning strike! It mustve charged it! That or maybe it could sense every single time you're near death and decides to fucking work.
"Oh fuck!" You curse as flames begin to close in on you. Now is not the time.
With trembling hands you try to change the date and location, but the screen is still broken and it wont budge.
You groan in frustration as you slam the button, your surrounding blurring as you begin to travel. Whatever time you land in, it'll be better than the one where you almost burn to death.
Right?
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So, thoughts?? How did you like this chapter? What will happen next?
I also sorta blacked out a few times while editing this chapter, so ignore any mistakes.
PART 11 is here!
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