#idk. i hate my stupid brain and i hate my stupid ex for making me hate it more

[ji-lixie]

hhh

[philosophicallie]

also being short in the western world is fucking humiliating and not even in a compare your appearance way. its the fucking constant lack of fitting clothing because your proportions are so fucking short because you total up to fucking FIFTY FIVE!!!! 55 inches ONLY

small sized clothing will usually still have 4-5 excess inches for fucking standardization IM NOT THE STANDARD IM A STUPID SHORT ASIAN IMMIGRANT JUST LET ME HAVE SMALLER CLOTHES WITH SOME FUCKING DIGNITY

[hippolotamus]

Way More Than Seven Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the lovely and talented @kitteneddiediaz @tizniz @diazsdimples @spotsandsocks @inell @wikiangela Be sure to check their works!

IDK this has been rolling around in my brain since I first heard Casual. Sooo… 🦴 🍎 🦷

“C’mon, Luce,” Nat teases from the driver’s seat, poking Lucy’s thigh. “I play personal taxi and can’t even get a tour? Guess I need to up my game.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. Hopefully it’s more annoyed than fond. Honestly, Natalia could ask for a million things and Lucy would readily give them. At least, she wants to. She wants to want to. But that involves levels of vulnerability Lucy plans to keep locked up tighter than Diaz’s Catholic guilt.

“Your game’s fine, Dollenmeyer. I’ll show you around.” Lucy grabs her work bag and exits the car before Nat can gloat and kiss her about it.

Kinard and Thompson are chatting over coffee in the hangar, while Lee checks over the equipment in one of the birds.

“Well, if it isn’t my little ray of sunshine,” Kinard chirps, flashing his stupid, dazzling lovesick smile. God, Buckley’s got him so whipped. She’s happy for them but Jesus Christ. “And who do we have here?”

Tommy, ever the gentleman and charmer, takes Nat’s offered hand. “Tommy Kinard. One of Lucy’s favorite teammates,” he says with a wink.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard about you!”

“This is Nat. Natalia,” Lucy interjects. “We were hanging out and she very nicely agreed to drop me off since my car’s in the shop.”

Beside her, Nat stiffens. Tommy raises an eyebrow, shooting a knowing look at Lucy.

This. This is why she tried to resist Nat’s offer and insisted an Uber would be fine. Because Lucy knows she’s fucked up. Knew she would before it happened. What’s worse is Tommy knows — or highly suspects — she fucked up. He was in the closet too long, and with too many shitty partners, to not see right through her. He’s going to give her hell about this.

“Uh, yeah,” Nat agrees, barely hiding the way her voice is trembling. She drops Tommy’s hand and clutches her purse tighter. “So, uh, gonna take a raincheck on that tour. Maybe another time. Nice to meet you.”

Nat doesn’t run back to the car but she may as well. She doesn’t look at Lucy once. Not with anger or sadness or disappointment. Not at all. Lucy bites the inside of her cheek and watches her go despite the desperate clawing thing in her chest that wants Nat to stay. Now. Forever maybe.

She hikes her bag up on her shoulder, turning to walk toward the locker room, only to be met with Tommy still there. His arms are crossed and he doesn’t look at her with any judgement. It would be better than the almost pitying, understanding expression he’s wearing.

“What, Kinard?” She bites out, staring past him. “I have to change for my shift. Just- say it already.”

He watches her a moment longer, rolling his lips in, assessing. “Do I even have to?”

“I have to change for my shift,” she says again, biting her bottom lip, hard. Because she’s not going to get upset about this now. Just like she’s not going to think about waking up this morning, for the very first time, to Nat sleeping beside her, hair sprawled across the pillow while sunlight painted her bare back. How it made Lucy ache.

Tommy sidesteps, making a sweeping gesture to let her know she’s free to go anytime. She nods tightly, unable to meet his gaze as she passes.

“Y’know, I kinda wanted to hate her,” Tommy starts. Because he’s a bastard that way. She hates him. Hates him so fucking much for it that she loves him for being so goddamn forgiving and thought provoking. She swears he went to the Bobby Nash School of Life Advice and Mentoring.

She stops, but doesn’t turn around.

“Evan said nice things about her. Decent things anyway. Admittedly, I wasn’t crazy about why she was into him. But he didn’t have anything terrible. Being his first- I felt a little nervous and wanted to find something. Anything about the people in his past. You know how it can be with exes. Gets messy sometimes.” He pauses, probably sipping his lukewarm coffee. “And then they just- I don’t know, surprise the hell out of you in an unexpected way.” Another pause. “Don’t worry. I won’t hold you up anymore.”

His footsteps echo across the hangar, growing quieter. Lucy tightens her death grip on her bag and marches to the locker room. When she gets there, if she turns on the showers so she can cry in peace, that’s between her and the ancient tile and god.

np tagging @actuallyitsellie @diazheartsbuckley @weewootruck @saybiwithme @bidisasterevankinard @dangerpronebuddie @theotherbuckley @stereopticons @daffi-990 @your-catfish-friend @thekristen999 @filet-o-feelings @underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @steadfastsaturnsrings @honestlydarkprincess @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @dr-shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @dorkydiaz @bi-buckrights @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @beyourownanchor6 @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @shipperqueen6 and anyone else who wants to 😘

[paleoleigh]

Thinking about Stede building the Revenge for him and his family. How he knew he was unhappy and so was Mary and probably so were the kids, but his first thought/plan A was for them all to go live at sea together instead of running away himself. A stupid plan based on a self-centered idea of what might make things better? Absolutely, he clearly had a monkey playing symbols in his brain listening to Mary talk about her hatred of the ocean. But he built the Revenge as a home for his family, with a room for the kids (Jim and Olu's room?) and a library which contained children's stories and secret passageways for fun, for playing games.

Having listened to a lot of true crime podcasts with shitty-father villains, it strikes me how the idea that Stede could have just taken the kids is literally never touched on. Yeah, he probably knew he couldn't take care of them on his own, maybe didn't want to (we only really see him interacting with them by playing pirates), but Alma and Louis remain the only people Stede has canonically said the words "I love you" to (yes yes he loves Ed he was about to say it to him in s2e4 and switched tactics, but putting them in a similar category with Ed is pretty telling imo). Like...it probably never once occurred to Stede that another man might have taken the kids with him to spite his ex or to live their happy life of playing pirates on the high seas. Mary said I don't want a boat, I don't hate our lives, and Stede went welp, guess I'm on my own then.

There's a lot that can be said about Stede as a distant father who abandoned his family. I'm not saying he's the bastion of perfect fatherhood. But he's so clearly torn up about leaving them because he knows, morally, that was wrong, and even after he sets things right, he still talks about them ("two messed up kids probably/ didn't fit in with Mary and the kids") which tbh, I thought we were never gonna mention the Bonnet family again after s1e10.

Idk. I think Stede loves his kids as best he can for someone who probably never wanted them, and ultimately helped them out in the long run by not having them have to grow up in a miserable household with unhappy parents and an emotionally distant father who simply couldn't do better than playing games with them.

Also, thinking about how a lot of OFMD is thematic rather than verbally explicit...I think it's incredibly telling how upset Alma was when Stede came back, and that she wanted split the orange so they would still be connected no matter how far apart they were. That in a show with pretty heavy-handed symbolism of physically/emotionally abusive fathers and cycles, the kids are never, ever shown to be afraid of Stede, that when they play together they're all happy, that Stede says he loves them even though they were asleep and didn't hear it, and that the one time they physically touch, it's Alma reaching out to tug Stede's hair in a playful way, and he responds in kind. That Stede breaks the cycle of emotionally distant and abusive fathers by A. Not belittling them ever and B. Leaving when he realized his presence was making things worse.

Tl;dr Stede Bonnet is objectively a bad dad, but he still loves his kids.

[miradelletarot]

Sad brain hours are stupid

Personal post alert. Just me kinda mumbling my random sad brain thoughts into the void, and hope something make sense (or at least helps me get this shit out of my head idk).

*note: this is all over the fucking place so...sorry.* My confidence is pretty low lately. I mean, it always has been honestly. I was raised to have a low self-esteem (just like my mother, who also had self-esteem issues, and projected a lot of her shit onto me). So, I have never ever really been confident. In my marriage, I can't recall a time when my husband truly made me feel sexy/desirable (unless he wanted something from me...you know what I'm talking about). Even mentally and emotionally, I'm really not that smart. I'm not witty, or quick, or brilliant in any way, and my anxiety and depression and ADHD make shit hard enough to cope with as it is. I struggled in school. Mostly an A & B student, but I had to bust my ass for those grades. Not to mention my horrible memory...I'm lucky I know basic grade school shit. I have no illusions that there is anything remotely spectacular about me. I think that's why I love supporting and helping others. Especially with tarot. It's my way of trying to help lift people up, and make them feel good about themselves, and their prospects because *someone* needs to be in your corner (general "you"). It's just easier to give my love to others, because I'd rather use my energy to celebrate the people I care about. Lately, I am really just feeling so down about my body. More than I have in a while. I think I've ignored it for so long because I was married. He stopped putting in effort and so did I. I had no one to impress anymore. But, despite him completely letting himself go (he's well over 400lbs now, and does NOT take care of himself in the slightest,) he said he was no longer attracted to me. (this will make sense in a moment...promise).

in 2018, I had a weird ass health scare that landed me in the hospital for a week, and the nurse said I nearly died of sepsis. Her words were (and I'll never fucking forget it...) "if you had waited even until tonight to come to the ER, there's a good chance you wouldn't have made it." Drs still dunno what the fuck happened to me. Ever since that happened, my thyroid went stupid (thanks again, MOTHER...) and I gained a ton of weight. I have always been on the heavier side (180lbs when I got married 16 yrs ago. I'm 5 ft tall for context). Now, I'm 243 lbs. I was 265, but I lost a lot of that stress weight after I left my husband. So, that's certainly something.

But...I just don't see the improvement. i don't feel any better. I have such a horrible relationship with exercise, and i am working so fucking much I don't even want to even though I know I should. I hate wearing makeup b/c of how it makes my face feel, and in the Florida, soul-sucking heat? I could never. But, I still have breakouts like a fucking teenager going through puberty. and my hair? fuck. i hate it. it's a poofy, frizzy mop. ALSO...fucking hell. I have had a slight lisp since i was a kid. I worked really hard to correct it b/c i was in choir and shit and my music teacher helped me with it, but recently i find that it's a lot more prominent than it used to be, and it sticks out to me SO fucking much, and i feel so insecure about it lately.

It's time's like these when something my ex said to me before i left really sticks in my head (he apologized for saying this btw, but it doesn't make the pain go away). He said "you'll never find anyone as good as me." I really want to believe he's wrong, but sometimes? It feels like he's right. Like I'll never be pretty or thin enough to be desirable to anyone. Too much depression and anxiety. Too weird. Too vulgar. Just...Too much, and oddly not enough at the same time. Even though it's only been 6 months since I left him I am fucking lonely. I won't lie, I miss having a partner (and all that entails). I'm so afraid I'll be alone forever. If I lower my standards, I'll just get some shitty asshole again. Someone just like my ex. I'm too fucking old to date around like I'm in my 20s. I'm pushing 40. I'm either going to find the man of my dreams (the Gale of my heart, a real one lol) or I'll be forever alone.

I'm in hell...and it looks like a pixelated paradise.

[hantenguswife]

Random rant/vent(?)

EVERYBODY STOP. I'M GOING CRAZY RN. I was just scrolling on twitter since I was looking for an artist to follow and saw that ufotable wanted to bless me with a new official art of hantengu??? HE LOOKS SO ADORABLE💗💗💋 It's the way his hiding from the sun under a little cave is so cute!! And doing his shaking and pathetic pose💗 I'm actually so happy that he's getting official art since that just means more rants, more pictures to put on my wall, and more reasons to draw and not get bored of him >_<!! (I'm never getting bored of him🔥) Official art hantengu literally gives me reason to stay alive. I'm not joking, (I think) it's very unhealthy but all my coping methods are unhealthy soo this one isn't as bad as the others. Hantengu official art >>> my drinking/sh problem. I love my man💋 I'm going to kiss that stupid ass bump on his head and give it a big squeeze. Also poking it for fun!! Not a very long rant but just wanted to rant a little since my hubby doesn't get that much art which is sad because I need it.

(This part of the rant is going to be little weird but ranting about my favourite character while venting is fun😋😋‼️)

Hantengu being my favourite character isn't really healthy for me. Idk why but almost every time I think about the bad things that have happened to me and when I'm crying about it, I will make my brain think that hantengu is comforting me. Oh, my ex cheated on me? While hantengu would do the same but I wouldn't be angry at him. I will let him continue cuz even though he cheated on me, he still loves me since he hasn't broken up with me!!

I may have been sa by a random guy and I can still feel his hands on my breasts but that's okay!! I'm just going to think and imagine that hantengu hands on my breasts which will make me forget about the guy and I won't feel disgusted since hantengu would never sa me!!

I hate my body and I wanna cut myself since I'm disappoint and a disgusting human being? Well hantengu would tell me that I am a disgusting human and I would believe him but I would still love him. He tells me continue to cut myself? I'm going to continue. Heck, I think he will even tell me to show my wrist as he sprinkle some salt on it😭

I need help but honestly, I don't want help. I will just feel like I'm going to exhaust anybody who tries to help me. Just let me fuck myself up🌚

[voidcat]

— a mutual intoxication

characters: dazai osamu, you

notes: implied toxic unlabeled past relationship, idk what this is beyond that, ive been doing some p stupid shit lately i needed dazai to shake me out of it. also my e key has issues so there may b missing lettrs

song: Los Borrachos (I Don't Have Any Hope Left But The Weather Is Nice) by Car Seat Headrest i think?? im notsure

Turning your phone off with a sigh, you close your eyes, sensing that presence hovering over your shoulder a little too late.

You have grown rusty, it seems, for he stands like that, too close for comfort, close enough for you to feel his breath and his eyes glued on the black screen of your phone.

“Look who’s here!”

Dazai Osamu exclaims giddily as he makes a turn around and slides right next to you. As if its some mere coincidence the two of you ran into one another and not something he foresaw before you even decided to drop by this cafe.

And so Dazai settles down, makes himself comfortable, easing in and blending into your side, to the environment.

A quick look shot his way, at your phone and the people idling in the cafe, you wait and wait, swallow down each second thats been passing.

And he catches it no matter how quick.

Of course he would, this is Dazai after all. Nothing gets past his senses, his wicked perception, his inituition.

Dazai's presence right here, right now means only one thing: That he has won.

Or so, he thinks. And once he does, it is the truth and absolute truth, even despite the circumstances preventing it, he will make sure to eradicate.

So far his voice falls deaf on your ears, as often was the case in your past, just a background noise to fill the air and nothing else–

"Someone has been busy, hm?" his coo leaves you on the edge, and you have half a mind to not jolt up or shoot another glance by your phone.

You know this.

You know Dazai, he is just doing what he does best, you are better than this: giving him what he seeks.

"So, what are they like? Have they been helping you with that itch on your brain that needs a good scratch?"

It shouldn't sting when you have grown used to it, but it does, just a little.

Not because he is right– he is, that's another issue, but because you're still doing that after all that time.

A little attention never killed anyone, that part of your brain reasons but another is quick to remind you of all those myths and tragedies of Greece.

It is nowhere as satisfactory as the real thing obviously, but even messages of sweet words and praises gets you going– though you hate to admit it, that you like this, you relish on this, the high of it.

Bonus points when the compliments are not the typical ones you can see everywhere, when the terms of endearment and what follows them sound to be thought over.

Lips pulled tight, you only stare at Dazai without a word.

"Not deserving of your voice? Not even the scoldings?" he tilts his head to the side with a smirk.

Bandaged hand over the table moves on its own.

They seem fresh, you cannot help but make a note of. Perhaps he came across a discount recently. There is no way in hell he would pay for these. Not when he has the agency's stash to raid, or you to buy and apply a fresh set.

His weird unique way of showing vulnerability, in his own way. But how can you blame the man?

He was already a mess when the two of you met.

Finger swiped over the screen, he taps the passcode, only to be left alone with the lockscreen.

Head turned to face you, another smirk that says "I'm impressed."

thanks no thanks, i don't need your compliments, you want to say.

you are not worried per se, you do not owe your piece of shit of an ex any explanation.

how things will turn out however, has you wondering. You know Dazai, but there are times when even you're at a loss of predicting his mind.

Friend of a friend– you doubt he knows that friend in th first place. Maybe their social media profiles at most but that's not much to go by.

The phone comes to life then– of course it had to be th fingerprint you had forgotten about.

Yet Dazai only seems pleasant at th turn of events. From your expression, he can tell this was not intentional but where's the fun if he doesn't go around claiming you were always waiting for him to return to your loving embrace.

"Not good enough apparently."

you whip your head at his voice, confusion clear on your face.

"Since you're sitting here alone all by yourself, not even on a call or texting." he shrugs as if he is explaining something simple, some truth of life to a kid.

"And do pray tell, Dazai, how am i supposed to text or talk when you have my phone?" you don't realize your teeth grithing.

To your reaction he only offers a grin, aware you know the answer as well as him.

even now, him going through your phone is old news. He did that before, and so did you– returning the favor.

If you wanted all his attention on himself, he demanded the same in return, give and take, until you suffocate.

and yet, even now that air stinging and filling your lungs does not hurt. the unbreathable toxic air is welcome in your lungs, an old friend you cannot shake off your life.

dull eyes ignore your question as they quickly go over chat histories, a little sneak at your photo roll without a doubt and side private accounts you keep limited to few people in your life.

with a sigh, he turns the device off and tosses it back on the table, leaning on his back, relaxing entirely. "My, my– and here I was worried you had forgotten all about me."

You had, as a matter of fact, yet you doubt he'd take your word for it, not when he has something brewing in his head to prove. Whaatever it may be, you know it won't end up in your favor.

"Now I just feel bad," that indifferent tone of his rings loud and clear.

hah! as if he is in any position to feel bad for your sake, what an awful attempt at a joke.

"Darling, you deserve better than that." "And that 'better' is supposed to be you?" you retort without missing a beat, annoyance clear in your voice.

"Well," he drags the word with a tilt of his head, gaze locked on the ceiling as if it's the wide blue sky instead, "Not saying I'm the best you've had, surely there are plenty of fish in the sea,"

a lie, you are aware, what he truly says is 'your words, not mine'.

"You deserve someone to match your wits." he concludes.

When you turn to look at his face, you see him sliding down slightly, head thrown back and resting.

even when complimenting, he makes sure to cast the hook where he wants it, all he has to do is sit and wait.

and hate yourself just as much, you know it has worked, that he is right. As exhasuting as it was to be ...something with Dazai Osamu, it was exciting, keeping the adrenaline rushing constantly, the ups and downs, highs and lows, the clashing and the sudden unision in the face of anything else.

"Not some sorry excuse of a person who cannot even pick up on one third of the things and teasings you say."

this, you're unsure if it is the living and breathing Dazai that says it, or the little one nestling in the back of your hand, always making sure to remind you he will never leave you alone.

Th who of it does not matter though.

Bcause all the ticks and kcks of your relationship with him, it was the unspoken understanding you enjoyed more than anything.

A look is all it takes, a gesture is all he needs, no words spoken, no thoughts admitted out loud verbally.

With a mind as sharp and bright as Dazai's, he understood you more than anyone else.

But being understood is not the entirety of it.

that's where communication plays in after all.

and as bright as he may be, Dazai took this to his advantage, his vague tactics to keep you around.

Sweetness but not too much, attention just long enough to keep you waiting for more, at the ready with big eyes–

letting your shoulders drop and realizing the tension you had on this whole time, you lean back as well, mirroring the man next to you and letting your body fall toward his direction a little.

Who are you to judge Dazai Osamu when you haven't been any better?

maybe this is what you wanted this whole time, letting this 'break up' last longer than the prvious ghosting phases, ignoring him on purpose and seeking out a new source to keep you up.

you can feel an arm draping over you, not bothering to open your eyes. this, too, has become something you've grown all too familiar with– one of the dolce ones, even when th grip becomes tight– keeping the other locked in.

because for any chain Dazai has on you, he possesses a matching one.

He might be the human with the highest perception skills for all you care– you know him, and that speaks for itself.

back and forth, it's a never ending dance of teasing, stepping on toes on purpose, pretending to have gotten bored in the middle only to surprise the second party with a sudden spin and bending of the waist– leaning in, nose to nose, until your visions blur into nothing but each other, and the mess you have left in your trail.

[anti-endo-safe-space]

Where do i begin.. i guess im just gonna rant really. I only fairly recently (as a month or so ago) became anti endo. And to say that takes a lot, really. I used to be a diehard supporter, that nobody should be silenced, but it didnt help that my first introduction to systems was, unfortunately, a pro endo server that basically indoctrinated me. "Dont ask too many questions or else your a sysmed". God i hate the word sysmed now because of realizing how stupid of a term it is. Like??? Your for real gonna get mad at people with the actual disorder telling you your not having the disorder???? Yk, the people who are actually diagnosed???? Your gonna play make believe???

A lot of excuses endos make is that the brain is so complex that it cant possibly be just because of trauma, but. Its literally been proven multiple times its from trauma or another source of dissociated identity (ex, bpd and did being comorbid as we have it, along with trauma). We even had a friend who literally decided to go to school for psychology, WHILE THEY WERE PRO ENDO. like im sorry but your gonna sorely be disappointed that the disorder is in fact a disorder!

Endogenics made my own system discovery and journey ten times harder because of their reluctance to answer questions in a clear way, and now our system feels.. flipped on its head, almost. Nobody talks about when your a system an your headmates have opposing views of endogenics. It fucking sucks. It fucking sucks that endogenics were stemmed from an over 20 year old anti did campaign. It sucks it stemmed from ableism. It all fucking sucks.

Ive lost friends from my realization, ive lost mutuals, ive lost people i held no malice towards, and i was more than willing to let them have their opinion that opposed mine. I dont care. But it hurts that the did community in general has become so hostile. We cant even have spaces where we can speak of our disorder without being fakeclaimed or infiltrated by people who dont even have our disorder. Its frustrating that so many endogenics try an separate the disorder part and make them seem totally separate to themselves, or outright erase our experiences. An its so fucking frustrating.

I want to be good for our system. I want to better ourselves for all of us. But endogenics really love bringing out the little hater in me now that i see the truth (and lies) that people say they have good faith towards. Is it really good faith when your making a fucking joke out of our trauma disorder??? No, jamie, you cant just magically spawn anime boy 420 in your head an say hes a totally separate person. Your brain is still in your skull, not split off an on the sidewalk next to you.

I dunno. This may be coherent, it may not, idk. Im tired though. Im tired of being in such a hostile community that doesnt know how to treat people with DID anymore NORMALLY. i may not have control on the outer world around me, but i can sure as hell try and help my inner community, the did community, to make it safer from misinformation. Its just hard.

!!!

[pleucas]

this is said with no malice towards you i love your art!! i like you!!

also not capitalizing chuuya's name even tho i have better humor than this

this is going to be loooong but i never read a more stupid ask….

i don’t hate skk bcs i use my brain and see that they’re actually good and a fun ship when someone isn’t ruining it. what i hate is most skkers being unfunny towards Dazai and the continuous mischaracterization of him just to make chuuya look better (mostly chuuya stans but also dumb Dazai stans are guilty of it)

and no Dazai isn’t the worst and chuuya doesn’t deserve better in fact i think yall can’t handle a person with mental illness and a fake persona he clearly put on people always demonize him so i think saying he’s the worst and chuuya isn’t proves my point. they both EQUALLY did the same bad things Dazai isn’t more toxic than chuuya it’s more like Dazai is the one who’s going back to a toxic ex (mind u chuuya was ready to hurt or maybe even kill some of the ada members people Dazai obviously cares for)

the skk hater? who loves chuuya and hate Dazai because they know chuuya’s character will never be as important or as impactful on bsd universe as Dazai’s noted.

if you love chuuya and hate Dazai your opinion about Dazai is immediately invalid like i think they just know no bsd character can be better written and more interesting than Dazai he's what keeping bsd good (and Fyodor i liked him in the last chapters even more)

imo if chuuya keeps appearing he'll just get boring🤷‍♀️ because most of his storyline is over

Dazai on the other hand always entertaining and deep and there’s a reason he’s involved in everything and never forget everything he did for chuuya stormbringer would be nothing without Dazai helping chuuya from the shadows and chuuya knows it but i guess people will still makes him the bad person in skk when he’s the one trying to change and be better person

also Dazai is someone who’s storyline is still on going as well as we know almost nothing about his past or what actually goes on in his brain i can say three things about his backstory and that’s it.

sorry for rumbling i can’t take that level of stupidity

pls don’t block me im not evil…..

holy shit we got cross-ask beef. this is insane

i'm gonna lowercase Both their names because i think this is the reasonable next step. LOL. & i'll also ramble a bit to match ur freak!

i will strive to clarify that me agreeing that dz=worst chuuya deserves better was, as i specified, "on a generalized scale" — on a very, very, VERY surface level this is a jokey way i've seen a lot of skkers talk about their relationship. more of an inside joke atp ig? idk. srry if that wasnt clear

but i do think it's valid to dislike a ship because you don't like one half of it. i totally get how dz's character can piss ppl off, esp if ure missing lns and mangas (which rimu wasn't, but they watched the anime first so the precedent was set). i found the first part of their thesis to be pretty funny actually, just (again) taking it at face-value.

it's also understandable that they try and dissect dz then miss the mark by a mile LOL. but again, can't be blamed if you hate the guy and thus don't read into him too much, which i think is a reasonable way to consume media... probably more reasonable than me. hence why i didn't respond with my own thesis paper. overall idk man it's not that deep, i've been having fun with rimu and i'd advise y'all to also be silly w/ ur Budgeted RPF Dead Author Yaoi, it'll make things a lot better

abt what you've said, i think dz and chuuya can't exist as true characters w/o each other, unless you fundamentally change their truth. a lot of their good & bad (& inbetween) sides are exposed through their relationship, which i believe is asgr's very interesting way of employing "show-don't-tell." i don't think chuuya's storyline is over, because dazai's isn't, and vice versa. this doesn't mean i don't think they have their own arcs, just that these arcs Must involve the other — if dz's main conflict is good/bad + the mafia, chuuya is his biggest amiable tie to it, and if chuuya's conflict is his self + power, dz must be there for corruption. there's more to say there, but again i don't want to feed rimu's claims of us all being dormant essayists LOL

we got dz glazer and rimu, D1 dz hater. and cheese anon.

[skyliv]

What'z your fav azpect of their relationzhip to think about ? any zcenez in wandavision between them that make u crazy

ALL OF THEM MAKE ME CRAZY. I AM THE MOST NORMAL GIRL EVR

first quarter of episode eight. has been branded into my goldfish brain for all eternity. agatha’s a lot more devious w marie than liv with luce, if she gets bored she’ll cast a stupid little spell to fuck w her just for fun

so things like that :3

and that one idea kat gave me abt agatha blowing a kiss and some smoke blowing to marie. BLEGHJJH

and there’s a favorite aspect of mine! marie is nervous about everything, but nothing agatha does goes over the line. agatha wouldn’t even want to go over the line, that’d be just as bad as hurting her pet rabbit!

marie’s like an outlet for agatha, scratchy can’t listen, but the bird can. especially in wandavis, agatha always has a little hint of flirtation in her actions. and while i haven’t yapped about it because i don’t want to make people uncomfortable (even regarding things like that scene in agatha’s basement) it’s still a big part of their relationship

idk though, i just hate her x rio, they’re 101% exes to me and it reminds me to much of logan x wade which i despise. her relationship w rio would’ve never been good, FAR from healthy. marie reciprocates, at least she tries to, she’s not a naive little kid, she’s just out of her element

sorry idk where that last bit came from, told u im normal!!

[ace-was-already-taken]

INTRO POST!!

ABOUT ME!!! (strawpage for more info(?))

Names: Ace, Obsequious, Oliver/Oli (Oli being a nickname that I like for that name :3) + any nicknames idrc (as long as they're not weird)

Pronouns: he/they/it

Art blog: @ace-draws-stuff

interests:

.> Vocaloid

.> GHOST And Pals

.> Project Sekai

.> COMMUNICATIONS (GHOST And Pals)

.> The Post Traumatic Manifesto (WeevilDoing)

.> Slime Rancher

blue = current main hyperfixation

red = current hyperfixation that will NOT leave my brain and I will reblog lots of probably XD

Project Sekai Player ID (feel free to friend req lol): 443164046783647750

I have a youtube channel btw :3

and a soundcloud acct :3

Art Requests: OPEN!!!! X3

Just put a request into my ask box and I'll get to it eventually. But rn I'm only accepting requests from mutuals/followers (sorry other ppl) and it has to be a character from a fandom I know OR an OC (bcuz yeah I don't trust myself to draw characters I don't know 99% of the time- sorry :/)

FEEL FREE TO DRAW MY OCS AND SONAS!!!!! ^^ Just credit/tag me in the art pls!!!! :]

Tags (or whatever they're called idfk): #COOL ART ALERT‼️‼️ <- Art reblogs, #my art <- self-explanatory but it's my art :3, #Ace makes pfps and icons!!!! <- self-explanatory AGAIN but its pfps and icons I make :]

I RLLY RLLY LIKE MOTHS BTW PLS TAG ME IN ANY MOTH CONTENT I AND WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!! /platonic /nf

If I go offline for more than, like, three days or smthng, just assume that I'm either hella busy, or my mom took away all my technology because she found out I'm on this site lol

DNI list:

• Nsfw/kink blogs

Anti-selfship (idk what it's actually called)

Anti-LGBTQ+

• TERF/RadFem/Gender Critical

• Pedo/Map (SUPPORTERS INCLUDED)

• Racist

• Proship/Anti-Anti

• Any Exclusionist

• Ableist

• Anti-Neopronouns / Xenogenders

• Anti-Kin

• BASIC DNI

Other stuff:

This blog is MAINLY Ghost and Pals and vocaloid stuff (maybe occasional pjsk stuff idk)! :)

My ask box IS open... Pls ask me stuff I'm lonely /hj--

I POST RANDOM SHIT IDFK (Also I talk in all caps 85% of the time >:3)

IF U SEND IN AN ASK OR SMTHNG AND I DONT RESPOND FOR A WHILE ITS BCUZ IM OVERTHINKING HOW TO RESPOND IM SORRY ;-;

IM HORRIBLE AT REMEMBERING THINGS 😭

Oh yea I swear/cuss (idk which one is the right word) sometimes btw

If I start typing/talking differently (ex: more/less emoticons, more/less all caps, ect.) it either means I'm just feeling REALLY SILLY (probably a kinshift)!!!!!! or I'm just really eepy/just woke up lmao

I tend to make humor out of my own problems- sooo when I make the occasional vent post (I usually don't tho) and I put 'lmao' and stuff in there, I'm NOT making fun of anything, I'm just brushing off my own problems :3

I apologize. A lot. If I THINK I did something wrong I WILL apologize profusely-

If I say something like "Sorry I'm so stupid XD" or smthng like that, it's not in a pick-me way- Idk how else to explain it?? Idk I make fun of myself all the time tho lol

I HATE DRAMA SO FUCKING MUCH OMG- The amount of times I've actually genuinely cried because of drama not even including me is insaneee- anyway yeah I don't like drama <3

ANYWAY fun fact: My birthday is May 14th :3

yea I think that's all you need to know! :]

Side note: If we're mutuals, expect a LOT of interaction from me :3 /silly

[luetta]

kinda wanna block every single person who i follow or follows me and start anew. i hate what my tumblr feed is now. its all fucking horny transposting and shitty online memes. it makes me feel so fucking stupid and vapid that is what i've curated my tumblr into being ... it just feels lame. if i was another person and i looked at luetta's blog, i wouldn't follow it. there's no analysis on media i like, any media that does appear is through a transgender lens. no aesthetics, just lewdness. and of course thinking about all of this, instead of just not giving a fuck about how my own personal blog is perceived, makes me feel like an idiot also. who gives a fuck? someone who still craves validation from others like a friendless little child, that's who. this website gives me dysphoria. and that's fucking cringe. i'm so lame. i'm a cookie cutter trans girl. blahaj and :3 and xdf htskligyterwuik girwa htuirog8yreabiraejk WHO FUCKING CARES WHAT SUBCULTURE YOU FIT INREGYT0IUTREHY 9E8TYU OJHTERYSU8YTERWMS8N 76E50W9TRW0 97Bwhat am i fucking even saying. i'm literally substanceless. i have no depth whatsoever. i've read no books. i've watched no movies. i've travelled to no places. i've experienced so little. i've literally done 1 single fucking thing in my life and that's figure out 6 years too late that i'm trans. woopdie doo. i did the bare minimum of introspection that comes with being a human. this is real life, i have to do more than that. i can't just sit in my room doing fucking NOTHING forever. i just need to suck it up and get a proper job and interact with people instead of just being content with doing nothing and fading away and then one day turning 40 and realising i've done nothing at all with my prime years. why is my brain so 9uhfeargu8io sdefrgu hypigfsd8dgsfht sgdftj puist ghreiouoy erthgt43qghrlyuv4qetwyulo4v53q2khglyiv354oiuy why do i just fucking keep on thinking about things it never fucking stops. there's never a single moment of respite from thinking about shit. i fucking hate my country, i just want weed to be legalised so i can do edibles every night and not have to fucking think constantly. but nooo i have to live in a fucking .... okay just going to stop typing because it's fucking cringe like every other opinion i have. you know what im going to type about instead? my ex-friend tom. you're a fucking piece of shit. why did you do this shit man? i don't fucking get it. literally what did i do for you to decide "i don't want to ever utter a SINGLE FUCKING WORD to you ever again". like what? we literally were connecting at such a deep friendship level. you pretty much came out to me when i came out to you. we hugged so tightly when we watched the succession finale together. and then you just fucking went AWOL. and yeah i get that you got addicted to benzos and went to rehab. but like ....... why does that mean you don't want to be my friend anymore? idk. i probs did something wrong because i'm a fuckup with fluctuating feelings and did something when i was in a 'fuck this guy' mood. urgh. idk. all my friends right now are cool but i still haven't found someone who shared so many similar interests as me. you're just a cunt to do this shit and make me have to get over you without any closure. i fucking hate myself. i just want to be someone else. throw all my belongings into a big fire and burn it up. go on a manic spree and fuck up my life. life just sorta sucks doesnt it? the fact that you have to work a fuckton and give away your body and time just so you can do things you want to do. i have dreams that ill never achieve probably. because i can't fucking do work. also my fucking boss is fucking dodging me about taking on more shifts than 1 every 3 weeks so i guess theyve fucking fired me. time to not be able to be on government support anymore !! because i need to work in order to keep it apparently !! good system. the purpose of a system is what it does. it wants you to suffer and die for not being a normal tall white man who works 10 hours a day in the auto shop. i hate everything i see. i'm unhappy.

[dappersautismcreature]

hey sorry this is super outta nowhere but i was scrolling thru the mcytconfessions blog n saw you saying youre a wilbur hater and im genuinely curious as to why?

this isnt me waiting to like. white knight him and bite your face off btw. i like wilbur but this *is* genuine curiosity pls dont be afraid lmfaoksdsdfkhf

ah yeah, sorry nonnie, and no worries. sorry for the rant ahead i just wanna lay it all out.

listen, its pure vibes, i dont really have an explanation for it. i liked him just generally for a while, but i watched a video where he talked about american gun control and it just came off super uck to me. like, a lot of british lefties have this weird thing where they will assume americans are all stupid just for kicks when we've actually been indoctrinated to think the way we do. i guess i just dont like seeing brits have political takes that are just pure "america needs to get its shit together" cause yeah bro we know, focus on whatever the fuck is up with ur government please. I feel like if i talked politics with wilbur soot he would be condescending as shit and basically explain to me what socialism is or whatever when its like, dude,, please. british lefties think they know more than the average young american, which is most of the time not true, or not something to insult someone over. (this is also because he reminds me of a shitty ex friend who was in the states for AMERICAN STUDIES but would just talk on and on and on about how dumb americans were -___-)

and its more than that, i never get idolization of people, like, online people. the closest ive come to it was technoblade maybe? gtws is pretty awesome too, bbh is low level idolization maybe. so it weirds me out when people are just in awe over him, makes my instincts go wild. im really not accusing him of anything, i know this is just the silly brain reacting silly. it just weirds me out. his fans do not know him, nobody's fans know the person, and yet they act like they do, and like he's gods gift to leftism and queerness when he is,, a cishet maybe-aro upperclass man from britain. nothing against him really.

oh, and his fans tick me off because theyre ALWAYS inserting him into things and just. listen, i dont like having to scroll through tons of wilbur fics in the qsmp tag when im just trying to get to some badboyhalo or etoiles centric fics. the man has been on the qsmp for like less than a week of playtime and he's the fourth most tagged character on the qsmp ao3 tag.

not to mention he gets dragged into other plots like "what if this actually happened to wilbur!" or "yeah but what if wilbur was there!" or my most hated "cant wait till this character meets wilbur because i cannot enjoy this media (which is about finding and enjoying a bunch of ccs) if it doesnt have my guy in it!" like i get it, you have a hyperfix or a special interest, ive been there, but maybe then go watch stuff he's actually in, instead of forcing him into a plot he really isnt that big a part of anymore.

people also praised his dsmp writing when it was,, average at best. honestly i think bbh's and the eggpire's writing did way more for the dsmp because they actually tried to include other people in the plot as much as possible, instead of just writing for you and a few of your friends. imo, c!wilbur was an ok character, like, nothing bad, but nothing extraordinary for me. utah is death, ok buddy got it, wow, insane. yeah yeah we've all been to the soul sucking pit of utah, haha i get it. << this is just pure salt ignore that lmao

oh and lovejoy didnt fuckin invent political indie rock, people need to get over themselves on that one.

so yeah, its just a thing of, i cant really bring myself to like him. the brain goes wonky when he's around. kinda wish i didnt like, get angry when he's on screen but idk i cant really stop myself. nothing againstt you if you like him, ill usually tag anyy wilbur neg with #wilbur crit so if you wanna mute that tag. i dont post it too often tho.

[confusedgoldenflower]

So I have an au FengQing fic in which FQ take HC’s wager and lose, becoming humans (bc they’re honorable unlike those other fucks). I’ve been trying to update (yes, I know I have like nine wips, I AM trying), but that’s not the point.

The point is that my stupid ass brain has fed me yet another crack idea: [besides them going to war, FX beheading a XZ imposter, MQ mocking beyond all reason a Ju Yang imposter, one of MQ’s adopted kids and ex-official ascending during this time, FX not beating the cut sleeve accusations (MQ does not openly drool like he does lmao, it’d be funny, esp since he’d finally not be pretending to hate MQ and actually acknowledge him in all his glory), the two having mwah👌🏻 teamwork, the Chinese-shogun’s (correct later, self) sons deaths bc they’re assholes and power hungry—just after FX thinks aloud to MQ if he shouldn’t just take over that estate if all the sons die and a lil tussle about it, so they take it over upon their return and MQ the Ex-Again-Lower Class changes life for his villagers. Oh and he’s visited by the new general of the south a few times. He pointedly makes her first shrine in the exact spot she ascended bc his autistic ass is that flavor of sentimental (someone else did a good read on MQ being autistic. He is in my fics, no like then scroll).]

—Is FX getting cursed (probably after pissing them off) by some wrath to… be a woman. Of course she’s mortified. Absolutely mortified. MQ can’t do anything, with all his cultivation power and research. Southern General can’t either. MQ offers asking PM (or heaven) for help but FX puts that idea in the grave. So, she’s stuck. But Feng I’ve Always Wanted A Big Family Xin warms up to the idea. Naturally, MQ will NOT break his cultivation nor would FX try to cross the clear boundaries and his promise that he’d never need sex from MQ, but MQ had an uncle (the baby brother of Momma Mu) and a descendant shows up, the spitting image of MQ (we’ve all seen “I’m my great great relatives reincarnation” images). That’s all Momma’s Mu’s genes running strong. Bc of what her husband turned out to be (despite the parents having accepted the suiter and had the option to take her and MQ w them), her “side” wasn’t spoken of highly nor a lot.

MQ and FX have talked about this, as long as FX doesn’t bring home a disease, she’s free to fuck whoever she wants—preferably with subtly. She and cousin man hit it off. Blah blah blah, this is getting too long, anyway he hangs around. Inevitably, pregnancy happens. FX is tickled pink bc yay family and MQ is the anxiety-induced dotting-est “husband” ever (ignoring that FX never thought she wouldn’t be in his position). Cousin man went to idk do a thing and comes back, arguements and discussions are had. MQ gets yelled at for affectively banishing cousin man (MQ is the bbs’ Baba). MQ demands why not since he’s not being trustworthy (given what MQ’s dad was, he’s got high standards). FX admits it’s because she wants her kids to look like him—be a mix of them, the cottage core coupling dream. MQ, not for the first time, questions the allos.

Idk, my brain may have taken “FX is an ornery himbo” and sprinted.

FQ: *argueing over battle strategies* MQ, a man with a special interest of fighting: shut up and listen to someone with more know-how than you. Good boy. FX: … okay… 😳😳😳 Lmaoooo

FX: paint my eyebrows! MQ, a dumbass when it comes to FX: ???? You have too much eyebrow already tho. FX, who just wanted the lovey-dovey stuff: >:0

FX: what’s that look for? MQ: nothing. I don’t have a look. FX: don’t bullshit me! MQ: fine. It’s just… how funny would it be if we made it a rule that any probable suiters for our daughters had to be pure virgins too. FX: … that’s gonna piss so many people off, I love it

New idea that’s too cute not to share: FX walking into the kitchen for some water, and after an unexpected bathroom break courtesy of changed body, early in the morning to find MQ cleaning up some new street kids he’d somehow collected over night. MQ: … 👀 Kids: *frozen* FX, sighing: it’s too early for this. Whatever, I’m going back to bed. MQ, nuzzling the face of the kid he was currently scrubbing: yay🥰

Edit/Addition

Postpartum FX being held back by MQ from absolutely laying a dick out for insulting newborn

Nursing/pregnant FX holding MQ back from walking into the woods towards a baby-sounding man eating monster. (It's funny because FX should be full of mommy instinct. I headsannon MQ as being the Universal Parent TM because it's cute and also funny)

Fighting would be a family affair lmao.

FX: what are you doing!? You can’t just go beating people

Child, who was taught by the best and of course was kicking ass: A-Niang, they. Insulted. Baba.

FX, sliding up her sleeves: oh so they think they can do that, hah!?

MQ, coming to stop a battle of bloodlines: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

FX, waving around the daughter: they insulted you to her! To our BABY, they insulted you. You don’t slander a child’s parent to the child! She defended your honor. Obviously, I thought she might have been doing too much to them but then she told me what happened.

MQ, constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown with FX now: I’ve asked you so many times not to get into fights

FX: our family sticks together. Not our fault they brought in their entire household—like cowards

Other kids and their neighbors they adopted: *nodding as they glare at the offending family*

Child: they know better now than to say you’re anything but good, Baba!

[the-kipsabian]

just throwing together some misc alan wake 2 thoughts now that ive slept and had coffee after finishing the game. mostly talking end game, obviously spoilers

alice. alice intrigues me so much. that final stinger is incredible, for multiple reasons. that reveal following the series of photos of her seemingly killing herself is just.. yeah. i think that was not only her way of trying to getting back to alan, who she knew was trapped in the dark place at the bottom of the lake, but it was also to throw scratch off, to think that he won by tormenting her to her death. theres no light flickers in the background of that final video. she is free of scratch, but still clearly safe. maybe back in the dark place, but tbh im not sure if she ever actually escaped it in the first place. shes going to leave the place with alan. she has to, because they are each others rocks. they sink or swim together (it would also explain why she was able to contact saga while she was in the dark place)

speaking of saga, her mind place version of the dark place was just *chefs kiss*. it was an incredible, worked really well to demonstrate not only the power the dark place has on people, but also what kind of a character she really is. strong and independent, but so good to those around her. i really wish we got deeper into her friend and partnership with casey tbh, after hearing about his divorce (which, btw, loved the extremely casual drop about him and estevez just "bonding over their ex wives". amazing job remedy) and especially seeing the birthday photo in the mind place just. my heart. i really wish we got more casey in general, but i guess him being included in the story beats and echo visions as a hardboiled detective just needs to be enough. for now i say knowing full well im gonna dive super deep into fanfics when my brain fog lifts a little ough

my one big question was door. and maybe tim to that extent, considering the last page we read and we never fully got an explanation about doors involvement (im hoping ng+ explains this further?) but it refers to tim as his "unwilling disciple" - obviously tim was moved to the dark place against his will, but at the same time, why exactly and what is he doing? hes been trying to get out, to figure it out, he has a whole whiteboard of theories and yet. it all leads to door. and idk maybe i missed it somehow, but i never fully made that connection as to why and what doors game here is. which leaves me with questions for the next game/sequel/dlc. intriguing, but throwing that in last minute just felt kinda. idk remedy dont do this to me lmao

one thing im admittedly a bit disappointed about was them choosing to sacrifice alan for the ending. i mean i get it, at the point where we think alice is dead and saga makes it very clear that neither casey nor logan can be hurt and that they are both the heroes of the story, theres not much options left. like alan said, the horror story needs a victim. but also idk, i wish we could. have had a choice? multiple endings?? which i guess ng+ teased but we'll see. also it being left unanswered whether we were free from the darkness now or not, which i understand was intentional but idk im still a bit miffed about that one lol. logan not answering the phone. however saga did have a wedding ring on her finger (i did not observe this detail before so idk if it was just always there but it felt very significant in this scene as they didnt show her being lefthanded before so) which makes me think everything did get fixed, considering how badly david hated her during points in the story, so why would she still wear her wedding ring after all those years after what happened if this wasnt the good reality again. just saying

ALSO IM JUST SO GLAD CASEY IS ALIVE. STUPID BASTARD MAN I LOVE HIM SO

"its not a loop, its a spiral" has interesting implications, but i miss "its not a lake, its an ocean" tbh. i feel like that ending revelation held more power to it than this one, it just feels like a rehash for the sake of copying the original. like i get what they mean about this one (its not a constant changing loop, its a developing story moving forward that keeps expanding as it goes even tho it feels like its going in circles), but just as a saying it doesnt stand up to the original. thats all

the way, even if they are sharing a skin, alan and scratch are two different characters (im excluding zane from this equation for reasons as i dont think he was real [im fairly convinced it was scratch playing games with alan just pretending to be zane], but i wanna give special props to ilkka villi for his portrayal. immaculate job) and are written that way. the way they talk, the lines they have, there is a significant difference when you pay attention to it - i think its partially alans way of trying to dodge the blame and put it all on scratch, whereas scratch doesnt do that for himself, hes just trying to play into the emotional manipulation angle with the constant rush instead to get what he wants and to get people on his side and to trust him. which is a really good take, considering that hes using all common scammer tactics to try to fool people into giving him what he wants (also just god the transformation scene when this is revealed? permanently tattooed in my brain that was so goddamn good)

its also a very interesting take that the cult is actually the good guys. i also just love ilmos explanation for it; "what kind of a cult calls themselves a cult" like. yeah. yeah man you got a point there. but that being just a cover and a scare tactic to keep people safe? love that shit that was good (kinda high key mad we didnt get more of them after that. only that one last sad tv commercial, would have loved to give them a good ending too)

also the parallel of alan waking up from getting shot to the head vs earlier zane doing to same thing at the second meeting in the hotel. i havent stopped thinking about it tbh

just. a few thoughts. all in all idk i felt like the ending was missing something tbh. maybe i just missed something, but it feels like it was more of a setup for something in the future with everything than an ending to a full game and a sequel 13 years after the original. i have too many questions left, more than i entered into this mess with. that being said, absolutely loved the game itself, the story is insane and incredible, this has once again rewired the way my brain thinks about stories (plot board my beloved......), theres so much underneath the surface of a survival horror game that cant be explained, it needs to be experienced. there are sequences here that im unable to convey in words and feelings, you need to see them for yourself ("we sing" and the movie theater. iykyk)

just in general that cliffhanger like. why you do me like this remedy. why. i cant wait for 13 years for another sequel. goddamn

the ending tho, im. i dont know. in the first game we knew things were still kinda wrong, but it showed that everyone outside of alan seemingly got out of the things unscathed for the most part (i mean we lost nightingale, rose went kinda loopy, there were signs that not everything and everyone was right but for the most part the town and people in it were safe), but here we dont see any of it. the happy deerfest is nothing but scratch's illusion. so idk if im meant to believe that shooting alan was the fix and everything went back to normal, like normal normal before this man was pulled into the lake, or since he was still seemingly alive after that, are we still living in the happy deerfest illusion forever while the darkness spreads to the land outside of it? i have so many questions and this ending didnt answer a lot of them tbh lmao

theres so much here i cant fit here my brains still very rattled from all of this and i keep getting more questions the longer i think about it so im gonna leave it here. i'll probably see you later with more when ng+ and/or dlc releases, as hopefully those will explain more

10/10, absolutely my game of the year ngl

..one thing to leave you with. fuck the boss fights in this game lmao

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

Hey so to explain why the no ghosting app is bad- it’s okay to talk to more than one person at once, if you’re not in a relationship there’s nothing wrong with that and you should’nt ever have to justify not liking someone sometimes you just don’t think they are attractive interesting or funny, speaking as someone who’s been ghosted and been told why it’s better for someone to disappear than to tell you they think you’re annoying. If you develop insecurities from being ghosted that’s something to go to therapy for not force people to explain to you on an app. It’s just very pushy.

I mean like, sure! it's not morally wrong to see multiple people in the early stages of dating! I never said it was! However. If you are actually looking for something serious, these dating apps are like a game to people. people swipe through because they're bored, people look for matches just to see who will match them, people will be looking for a fun night out in a new city and message 7468375967 people who will waste their time talking and never meet up because they were one of 7468375967. it is completely ineffective for finding a partner almost all of the time, and you inevitably get ghosted the second someone is swiping out of boredom and someone hotter gives them a like or whatever. The entire thing is a Petri dish of fuckboy behavior that leads to mindgames, being in competition with your entire city (unlike in the days before dating apps because you have access to literally everyone), etc. And it's fine if you don't want something serious and want to date around!!! but it's total garbage for the people who are looking to find a genuine companion and not fuck around that they'll have to talk to a shitload of people who are in it for the thrill or whatever and who will inevitably leave them hanging, and always get caught in an endless cycle of exposure to the kind of people who either aren't transparent about what they're looking for or who are just lying, and keep on getting damaged by it over and over and over. it's just nice that there's a dating app that isn't an ideal environment for fuckboys - not saying all people who date around are assholes like that, but this environment caters, specifically, to fuckboys.

and no, you shouldn't have to justify not liking someone in that no one should have a gun to your head making you do it. but it is, objectively, shitty, to stop talking to someone cold turkey with 0 explanation. it's also shitty if that explanation is "you're annoying", but, idk, call me stupid or naive but I don't think many people would actually just say that. it'd just be a "this isn't working out", "I don't think we're compatible", etc - just some basic form of communication and human decency. and btw - our insecurities are just different. I'd way rather be told someone thinks I'm annoying, because before they say it my brain is telling me I'm annoying and they don't like the shape of my nose and they ran back to their ex they told me they were over and they slept around when I thought we were exclusive and they don't like my hair and they hate that I love Taylor Swift and they wish my boobs were bigger and and and and. I'd rather it be confirmed to be one of those things and know than spend months picking every facet of my being apart trying to figure out which is most likely, and hating myself for all of them over just one.

it's not for everyone and you don't have to be on it! but all the comments calling it a hellscape are literally sooooo over the top. dating apps gave me panic attacks and this app sounds like a fix to every single one of my problems with them.