#nia says stuff

[blackgwenstacy]

i think the main thing that pisses me off about people refusing to acknowledge the copaganda in across the spiderverse is that they believe all the cops featured in the story are shining examples of how cops “should be.” i.e., family men who are supportive of their kids and want to make a difference in the world. like, genuine question: do you think the REAL cops who brutalize civilians at protests not have nuclear families at home, don’t go to parent teacher conferences, don’t love and support their teenage daughters, etc? or do you believe the requirement for becoming a cop means having a loveless lonely life akin to that of ebenezer scrooge

[kimbapisnotsushi]

your hc jonjay pls?? 👉👈

i'm happy to oblige anon!!

i don't think jay's ever really been outside of metropolis for pleasure before because of how busy he normally is, so after things settle jon makes it a point to take him somewhere new every weekend

sometimes they get caught and jon gets scolded by customs officers or whatever. sometimes they don't

(and sometimes they end up accidentally solving some international cases because it's not like they can just sit back and do nothing when they see trouble)

jay starts meeting a lot of the other common heroes/vigilantes not just because he's jon's boyfriend, but also because damian considers him a friend and called him impressive and now everyone really wants to meet him

jay wouldn't mind except they keep popping up when he's least expecting them

i DO really want to see a meeting between kenan and jay because i'd love to know what gamorra's relations with other asian countries is like

like you can't just shove a new island into the middle of esean geopolitics and history (especially one apparently colonized by japan?? god i need to read more shit i have so many questions) and then NOT expect people to poke it

unsurprisingly, kon is the one who spills all of jon's embarrassing little kid stories

well and damian. but damian's stories are the "one of our missions got fucked over and it was totally jon's fault we almost got all of our limbs chopped off, not mine" type, and kon's are more of the domestic "jon once tried to cook a frozen pizza using heat vision and he almost burned the house down" type

jay finds both equally amusing

since nat is likely the only person in the superfam to spend the most time with jay (around their age, i mean), she's the one he's most comfortable with talking about jon, and thus he bounces gift-giving or date ideas off of her during their free time LMAO

nat is honestly probably the first friend he makes overall when everything is settled down

(i say this in the sense that, like, she's not someone he met in high-stakes circumstances or when they're in the middle of some superhero bullshit)

jon once walked in on natasha yelling "THINK FAST" and throwing a solid hunk of scrap metal straight at jay and jay phasing so that it just sailed through him. it nearly gave jon a heart attack

i think jon and jay are really cheesy in the sense that they're constantly trying to do things for each other "in return" of something, but because they keep doing things for each other it's just a never-ending cycle

like if jon decides to plan a date he thinks jay would like then jay wil plan one jon will like. and then jon will do something for jay in return. and then on and on and on and on

they're so stupid i love them

i DO want to get into the whole "jay likes physical affection because he has trauma stemming from being intangible longer than he really should have been back when he couldn't control it and holding jon's hand grounds him" idea. like yeah they're already really physically affectionate and yeah jay enjoys it as such but for it to also be a coping mechanism??? god

they try to have a convo about it and jon is like "well it's not the same but both damian and his older brother died at some point and then came back so, like, if you ever want to talk about it wth them--" and jay is like "what the FUCK are you talking about"

it's enough to snap him out of being sad for a solid minute

the next time jay sees damian he's like "hey i didn't know you were a zombie" and damian just sighs and goes "i'm going to turn jon into one if he keeps telling people that"

[accirax]

if you don't understand the options, Odd Nation Cartoons just released auditions for Disventure Camp Season 4, with an original cast! while the names may be fake, the character profiles and lines are theoretically real. bios below the cut.

i think i need a line of text here to get the cut to work. hello.

[writer-haley-e]

I haven’t talked much about it on here, but I was participating in NaNoWriMo this month! I was expecting to not complete it, because I’ve heard of so many people not able to in their first year, but I realized I can actually write pretty fast if I try to, and I finished!

My current word count is 50,537!!

I haven’t written this much for any one story before, so I’m so proud of myself for getting this much done in such a short time, and I’m hoping to finish the rest of the first draft by the end of January at the very latest.

Also I’ve been keeping track of how much time I’ve spent just writing this month, and it’s added up to 32 hours and 36 minutes, which seems fast to me at least, idk how fast other people did it.

Anyways, my first year trying nanowrimo and I did it! Yay!

[nonoqy]

same same like the lyrics are just so specific. like meeting someone and being scared of falling in love because of bad shit in your past and then overcoming that is a pretty universal thing. could apply to anyone. but wanna put you in the spotlight turn the camera off now you're all mine could absolutely not apply to just anyone

LIKE ITS VERY SPECIFIC.....

[cuteniaarts]

POV: You’re a merchant ship captain and you’re making your crew stay in a relatively small seaside town for just a bit too long (FOR BUSINESS REASONS, DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE you’ve met a rather attractive sea monster who has just started warming up to you) and you swear the odd girl who’s always too bundled up for the summer heat keeps staring at you whenever you walk past… and are you losing your mind or are her eyes glowing?

Or: Midori has noticed that unlike her crew, who walk around town and chat up locals, Kuvira spends all her free time running off to secluded caves and beaches and the abandoned pier, and she knows exactly what (or who) the reason behind that is since she spent all of her childhood doing the exact same thing

Some design and story notes, because I love talking about this AU~

Like in SotRl, starting from age 4 Midori grew up in Haya’s ‘care’, and while I don’t think she beat her, Midori still ended up with insane self esteem issues, mostly stemming from her being half-mermaid. Haya knew about her brother’s infatuation with the sea serpent and chose to ignore it, which she managed rather successfully right up until one of the products of said infatuation was dropped off at her door. She has no idea Suiren exists though, even as a young child Midori decided keeping her sister a secret would be safer for both of them

She’s human passing enough, but inherited plenty of things from her mother – scales along her shoulders, sides and thighs (though they’re green instead of blue), sharper teeth, ears that morph into fins at the ends, glowing eyes and fully functional gills. The siren song, however, passed her over. Haya, of course, made her hide all of it, along with making her internalise that she’s a freak, a half fish monster who will never fit in with human society, but spirits help her if she refuses to try to conform

The clothes she wears serve no purpose but to hide her differences. As a child she was much more drawn to more open and lighter clothing, shorts and tank tops and the like, but Haya didn’t care. The long skirt and sleeves conceal her scales, long enough that she can safely roll up her sleeves while she works or that gusts of wind won’t ruffle her skirt too high. The scarf goes over top of the already high collar to make extra sure no one will see her gills – she has gotten used to it over the years, but at first the pressure on her gills made her feel like she was constantly choking. Her hair is styled in a certain way that keeps her ears from view, and she was taught not to smile so her fangs wouldn’t be as visible

Mermaid eyes don’t always glow, it’s actually an evolutionary intimidation tactic that can’t really be controlled, and Midori isn’t even aware she’s doing it. With her eye colour it’s easy to write off as tricks of the light, which everyone who notices it always does… apart from Kuvira

Midori and Suiren haven’t talked in a while, both thinking it’d be better for the other this way, and Midori’s current goal is remain as integrated with humans as possible. It’s often hard for her to see the point, she’s too socially awkward to make friends and it’s not like she will ever have a husband or wife, not with her defects. The people in town like her just fine, she’s nice and hardworking, but she knows she will never truly fit in. As a child she used to beg Suiren to let her leave humans behind and take her into the ocean, but they both knew it wasn’t possible. Midori can breathe underwater just fine, but her lack of a tail will make her even more of an outcast among merpeople than she is among humans, and even though her swimming is better than the average person’s, she won’t ever be fast enough to survive the dangers of the ocean. That’s how Midori lives, born into two worlds but never being enough, never truly belonging to any of them, so she can do nothing else but go about her day doing her chores, consciously stop herself from gazing wistfully at the ocean, and keep an eye on that ship captain that seems to have taken a keen interest in her sister.

Oh, and I was messing around with the light pen so here’s a version that highlights exactly what Midori is desperately trying to hide:

[eaglefairy]

Tonight I did just a little sidequesting (because I want to use Theory and I'm severely behind on getting that whole questline started) and I finished Spirit Crucible Elpys. I have to say, now that I've learned how to use the combat system I'm enjoying it a fair amount! I just wish the game would actually let me without taking away party members randomly and constantly, changing the mechanics around in annoying ways, or both. Oh yeah, and the backstory reveals. I've thoroughly spoiled myself on this game (I never would've picked it up again otherwise), so I already knew Zeke's and Nia's deals going in. The Nia and Rex bonding was sweet, though. (Zeke's exposition just felt...misplaced, but I know the game ramps up like crazy from here so I'm guessing they just needed to cram it in before shit hits the fan.)

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

me, shaking the Wingfeather finale like:

[dykementality]

i will literally kill myself if someone i dont know even implies im abnormal but when my friends and mutuals say im insane i feel appreciated and i feel like a superstar

[blackgwenstacy]

girl how tf did u miss 😒

[heeslomll]

(pretend i didn’t just reblog w the wrong acc okay 😍😍)

Stargirl Interlude | L.HS

「pairing」 : bf!heeseung x fem!reader 「word count」 : 1.3k

「synopsis」 : it was showtime, but heeseung just had to sneak his pretty girlfriend, you, into the back so he could fuck you. you were his good luck charm, after all.

「genre」 : smut, fluff, rockstar!heeseung

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, cussing, unprotected sex, quickie, kissing, biting/marking, creampie, petnames (doll, baby, pretty girl...), praising, slight fingering, teasing, hair pulling, slight dacryphilia, public sex, lmk if I missed anything!

“Fuck Hee, what if someone comes in?” You gasped as his lips latched onto the supple skin of your neck, teeth grazing over your jugular. His knee shoved your legs apart, pressing it right against your thinly covered core, seeing as you were wearing that cute black dress that he told you to before leaving.

“No one is coming back here; they’re all too worried about making sure everything is set up.” He groaned against your skin before pulling away to seal your lips in a heated kiss, pressing his knee right against your core to hear your pretty moans.

“Hee–”

“Shhhh, doll, don’t worry so much.” He whispered softly, hands reaching for the hem of your dress, hiking it up over your hips. “You just try to keep your pretty sounds down,”

A soft gasp fell from your lips as his fingers brushed over your covered slit, feeling your slick soak through the thin fabric. Heeseung chuckled as he latched his lips to your neck once more, biting down on the junction of your shoulder, relishing in the way your body trembled. 

He moved your panties to the side, running his fingers through your folds, feeling how wet you were. Your eyes fell closed, and your bottom lip got caught between your teeth as his fingers prodded at your slit, teasing you.

“Seungie, please.” You whined, gripping his shirt with a vice-like grip, the need coursing through your body making your brain all fuzzy; the only thought in your mind was having him buried balls deep in your soaping cunt. 

“Fucking hell, baby, you’re dripping in my hand.” His voice was low and husky as he licked his way up to your ear, taking the lobe between his teeth, making you shiver, “too bad we don’t have a lot of time, or I’d be on my knees devouring you whole.”

You whined at his words, feeling yourself growing wetter by the second, which, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by your boyfriend. With a chuckle, he shoved his middle and ring fingers into your wet heat resulting in a choked moan falling from your lips, eyes screwed shut, and fingers dug into his shoulders.

The lewd, wet sounds that were coming from where Heeseung’s fingers scissored you open were deafening. Making your ears ring as he continued to litter your pretty neck with marks, showing that you were taken.

“As much as I want you to come on my fingers, I need you on my dick.” Heeseung breathed out, pulling his fingers from your clenching wall, making you whine. He was quick to swallow all of your whines as he kissed you messily, hands making quick work of his jeans. Pushing them down just far enough for his cock to slip out, hitting his abdomen, tip red and decorated prettily with beads of precum.

He pressed your body tightly against the wall, taking your right leg with his hand before using the other to line his cock with your entrance after shoving your panties to the ground. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, teeth latching onto his skin as he pushed into you slowly.

“Shit…” He groaned as your warm walls wrapped around him snuggly, a tighter fit than normal due to the lack of preparation.

Heeseung gave you barely a moment to adjust before he pulled back out and pushed in, leaving you gasping against his skin, fingers digging into his biceps. You tried to keep your noise on the down low, but the position, the two of you were in allowed him to hit all of the right spots to make you see stars. Choked gasps and moans fell from your lips the faster his pace got, growing in pitch by the second.

“You’re so noisy, doll. Do you really want someone to catch us?” He mocked you, a smug smirk tugging on his lips as he watched you shake your head against him, biting your lip to try and muffle your noises once more. The dark-haired male trailed his hand from your hip up to your head, threading his fingers through your hair and tugging back harshly. A high-pitched whine tore from your lungs, and tears stung at the corner of your eyes as you looked up at him. His hips never faltered as he took in your already fuck-out expression, loving the tears that had started falling from your eyes, which caused some of your makeup to smudge under your eyes. You looked so pretty like this, and god, did he wish he could just say fuck the show so he could take you home and fuck you into oblivion. But alas, the band wouldn’t survive the night without his vocals.

“Hee!” You squeaked as his tip kissed your cervix, eyes screwing shut as you felt the coil in your stomach start to tighten.

Heeseung tugged on your hair once more, tilting your head up so he could kiss you once more. The kiss quickly turned wet and messy as you couldn’t focus on kissing him properly due to the instrumental amount of pleasure that racked your brain.

“Close already, doll?” He teased despite the fact that he wasn’t too far from him either, but hearing the weak mewls that left your kiss-swollen lips was too good to pass up. 

Untangling his fingers from your hair, he let your head fall back into the crook of his neck while he found your hip once more, pounding into you relentlessly. The tiny storage closet is filled with lewd, squelching noises as well as quiet, soft moans and groans from the two of you.

“Hee–” You were cut off when the coil in your stomach finally snapped, and you were coming around Heeseung’s dick, causing him to groan at the feeling of your walls fluttering. Choked gasps caught in your throat as he fucked you through your high, legs threatening to give out as they shook under your weight. Heeseung was the only thing keeping you up right, his hold far too strong to let you go anywhere.

“Such a good girl for me– fuck… letting me fuck you before my show,” He groaned, hips faltering as his high approached, “always my little good luck charm, isn’t that right doll?” Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head as he continued to fuck into you, throwing your body into a state of overstimulation.

“Sungie…” You whined out, more tears falling from your eyes as you let your head lay back against the wall. Heeseung cooed at you, kissing away your tears and whispering praises as he spilled his seed deep in your womb.

He continued to pepper your face with soft kisses, bringing you back down from your high. Tilting your head up, you capture his lips in a gentle kiss, relishing in the warmth it brings along with it until he pulls away with a small pout.

“They’re probably looking for me,” He grumbled, pulling his soft dick out of you, watching as both your and his cum trickled out and down your thigh. You whimpered in his hold as he scooped the cum on his fingers before pushing it back into your sensitive cunt.

“Hee–”

“Shhh, pretty girl, we gotta keep your stuff full until we get back home.” He pressed a kiss on the corner of your parted lips before letting your leg fall and reaching down to grab your discarded panties, hiking them up and over your hips. You let out a breathy sigh when he fixed your dress, then encased your body in his arms and peppered your exposed neck and shoulder with wet kisses.

“Heeseung, man, where are you?” Your body tensed up at the sound of Jake’s voice, one of Heeseung’s bandmates.

Heeseung chuckled softly before pulling away from you, cupping your cheek in his hand. “I’ll see you after the show, my pretty girl.” Then, with one last lingering kiss, he slipped out of the room, leaving you there to collect your bearings before walking out to watch your boyfriend perform.

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[f4iry-bell]

.・゜✭╰─▸ ❝ @[f4iry-bell] .・。.・゜✭・。.

✮ call me nia ⌗ she/her ⌗ 18 years old ⌗ desi ✮

this is a fanfic writing ⌗ reading ⌗ yapping blog ⌗ i aso make fake tweets and dividers (i accept requests) ⌗ i mostly write x reader fanfics (i try to avoid the use of y/n) ⌗ REQUESTS ARE OPEN !!

writing blog intro ⌗ masterlist of my work ⌗ fandoms im in

@miffy-says other blog

fandoms: the inheritance games 98% of the time. the cruel prince, the hunger games the originals, shatter me ?

music: taylor swift, selena gomez, laufey, beabadobee, lana del rey, one direction.

shows/movies: gilmore girls, modern family, star wars, stranger things, ladybird, little women '19, dead poets society, perks of being a wallflower, etc.

hashtags:

⌗ nia's intro post stuff – stuffs for intro

⌗ nia says ★ . · * - me yapping

⌗ nia sings 🎤 - lyrics/music

⌗ nia's hidden side - well a different me!

(you can find the tags in this post)

my family

[nonoqy]

girl who is not dropping them, even fucking bbh unfollowed dream. and to act like people will ever let someone, especially these people they hate with a passion, change and be back. no matter how much they show their improvement (but like how can you even show it?) people will always label them as misogynistic SAers

he didnt unfollow dream that was misinfo and abt showing the improvement i think your actions go a long way. if they decide on a hiatus and then come back after some time i expect george in particular to be more self-aware and just overall more in tune with his emotions. i think even reactions to random stuff or the things he says on stream could show his improvement. like i dont know how to put it but i just expect him to act differently in some situations than he would right now I GENUINELY CANT THINK OF A GOOD EXAMPLE but honestly even if he cuts out your mom jokes that would already be something to me

[peachesofteal]

Simple Math / Part Ten

Simple Math masterlist

Ghost/Soap/female reader 5.4k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI. Masturbation, dirty (self) talk, brief daddy kink. This fic contains mature themes. Domestic violence. Grooming. Feelings of fear and anxiety. Nurse!reader. Kissing. Lots of dialogue. Bun considers making a friend. Penny is cute. Flirting. Touching. Comfort. Bun refers to herself as "heavy". Simon is Simon. POV switch. Dinner date.

“I’m Philip.”

The handsome brunette smiles, grabbing onto your hand. You blink, trying to understand, trying to make it make sense, when he prompts you with a teasing grin. “This is the part where you tell me your name, sweet thing.” 

Oh. You stumble over it, tongue tied into a million knots, sweat from the Texas sun beating down your back, sweat slicking your shirt to your skin. 

He’s still holding your hand, and you’re standing there with wide, doe eyes, shell shocked. 

He’s… so handsome. And older. Older, and handsome. Polished type, with good teeth and good hair. He looks like he just stepped off the golf course. 

Why is he talking to you? 

He glances down at your drink. 

“You even old enough to be drinkin’ that?” 

“I-“ You’re terrible at lying, and like he can read it on your face, he chuckles. 

“You live around here?” 

“I go to Rice.” 

“A bit young for college, aren’t you?” 

“I just turned eighteen!” You’ve heard it a million times. You’re too young to understand something, or know something, or do something. You don’t get the way the world works yet. You’re not an adult. 

He holds his hands up. “I’m sorry. I bet you’re one of the really smart girls that make all us men look like Neanderthals.” Your face heats. 

“N-no. I just… I graduated early. I’m not a know it all.” You defend yourself, desperate to create distance from the usual stereotype, the way most people see you. The way boys see you. 

Too smart. Face buried in a book. Awkward and stiff. Uncool. 

He traces you from head to toe, appreciative gaze grazing over the swell of your hips, the generous curve of your ass. “I didn’t think you were. Too mature for that, I bet.” He croons, and your knees go weak. 

“Y-yeah. A lot of people say I’m really mature.” 

Two things compete for your attention when you open your eyes.

One: there is a soft, lovely song playing downstairs, something spring-like and sweet, vibrant without being too loud.

Two: the house smells like pancakes.

You check your phone, shocked to see you’ve slept for yet another 12 hours. There’s a text from Nia, and a text from your boss.

>You have a lot of time accrued. Take as much as you need. 

That settles that, you guess.

There are also text messages in the group chat, one from Simon, and one from Johnny, coming in only a few minutes ago.

Simon: >Penny gets pancakes on Saturday mornings. They’ll be plenty, come down and eat when you’re ready. 

Johnny: >I’m missing all the good stuff. 

You stretch, cautiously, wiggling fingers and toes, spreading your limbs as far as you can without pushing it too much. You’re sore, uncomfortably so, and still exhausted, but if you stay in bed any longer, you’ll rot.

In the kitchen, Simon holds Penny and a mixing bowl, alternating hands to get a whisk through the batter while humming to his daughter on her hip.

You stop dead in your tracks.

He’s… he’s not wearing the mask. 

You stare at his face, his whole, naked face for the first time, taking in the broad jaw, every shiny white scar, and his (twice, if you had to guess) healed broken nose. He’s handsome, differently from Johnny but no less striking, and you can’t look away, stunned by his raw, depthless and rugged beauty. Penny’s leg has kicked up the hem of his shirt, exposing his midsection, and the flash of skin there feels like a scandal, something you shouldn’t be seeing but cannot get enough of. He looks nothing like you expected and yet… everything you hoped for.

“Morning.” Pen tucks her face into his chest shyly, peeking out from the corner of her eye, curious and cute. “Can you say good morning to bunny?” He bounces her a little, and she giggles.

"Bunny." She says quietly, and Simon laughs.

“That’s right. Good job.” After a second of silence, you try to ask him about the missing mask, but the question gets confused on your tongue, and what comes out instead is clumsy and stunted.

“Your mask.” You cringe, immediately. It’s the first thing that slips loose, insensitive, and uncouth. “I uh, I’m sorry, I’m just… surprised?” you falter, and makes it worse. You think about trying to run back upstairs, hightailing it for the hills when he smiles, and points to the empty stool at the kitchen counter with a batter covered whisk.

“Sit.” There’s already a stack piled high, plain, and ones with big, juicy blueberries. Your favorite. 

“So, pancakes every Saturday?”

“Mhmm.” He settles Penny in her highchair to your left, and pulls an already cooled pancake from the stack, cutting it up into little, tiny pieces with a child’s knife and fork. “Pen and her Da,” he pads some butter across the top of his handiwork, grabbing her sippy cup and filling it with milk. “Have pancakes every Saturday when he’s home. It’s their favorite. Right?” He points at her, “your favorite?” and taps his middle finger to his chin, others outward, straight up. “Your favorite?” Signing?

“Are you teaching her sign?”

“Trying to. Pen’s birth mum is deaf. It’s important to us, that she’s able to connect with her when the time comes. Plus, my hearing is shot. So is Johnny��s. It’s a great way for her to communicate with us.” He strokes some fingers through her curls, and she doesn’t even look up, too busy shoveling as much pancake into her mouth as she can. You have a million questions now, curiosities bubbling to the surface, about Pen’s mum, about her life, about how she came to be their child. All too rude, and too invasive to ask. “Or, to use when she’s feeling sassy and can’t find the words. That happens, too.”

“She’s what…sixteen months?” You watch her intently, unable to not smile when she cheeses at her dad with a mouthful of food, even though your tender skin stings with the movement.

“Yeah. Top percentiles in a lot of things for her age. Said her first word before she was one.” He’s rich with pride, a deep well of love shining in his eyes, and you force your own down to the plate, stifling the ache bleeding from your heart.

“Of course she is.” Penny holds pieces of sticky, syrupy pancake with both hands, attacking them with vigor, smearing her cheeks purple with the squished blueberries.

You need to eat something, but your brain is buzzing, unnatural discomfort stretching long in the back of your mind.

What’re you doing? Sitting here eating pancakes like everything is normal? Like everything’s okay? 

Everything is not okay. 

You drift, back to your apartment, back the venom of Phillip, the hands around your neck, the twist of your shoulder, back slamming into the wall. You can still feel him, still hear him, these memories like all the others, your body beaten on the floor, mind nearly broken. Trying to shift away from the hot end of a cigarette, screaming for help, running through a-

A hand covers yours.

He coaxes the fork from your fingers, metal vibrating within flesh.

“I think… I think I should go back to bed.” You whisper.

“Are you tired?”

“No… yeah. I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to run away, you know.” He flips a pancake onto your plate from the stack. “Just because you were somewhere else for a little bit.” Your cheeks burn. “We’ve got a pretty nice couch in the living room though, if you want some time alone and don’t feel too keen on the stairs.” Saturday morning pancakes and curling up on the couch? It sounds so nice, so normal, and must show on your face, because he chuckles. “Help yourself. You might have to share the TV though, in a bit. We watch baby Einstein on Saturdays, and she’ll need some entertaining for a minute while I get ready.” Your lips twist, an entire hearth lighting up in the bottom of your heart.

“Alright.”

Baby Einstein is as enthralling as you thought it would be, though Penny disagrees. She stares at the screen, wide eyed, open mouthed, sippy cup long forgotten, and even Simon struggles to get her attention after returning from getting dressed.

You force your eyes away from the strain of his thighs in blue jeans.

“We’re goin’ down to the hospital.” He tells you, pulling her upward over the back of the couch and rubbing his nose through her curls. It’s still… weird, to see his whole face. To clearly watch his expressions, sublime bliss pushing his mouth upward whenever he looks at his daughter. “Want to come?”

“I can’t, not if I’m taking time off. It… looks bad to admin. I can probably go in at night but, during the day is just a recipe for disaster.”

“Of course.” He looks around, for what you don’t know, shoulders tensing, then relaxing. “Well, you’ve got the remote. And my number. Are you… going to be, okay? Alone?”

Say yes. 

You can’t. All you can do… is nod.

“Okay well if you’re not. Just call.” You nod again, getting to your feet. Once you’re standing, you’re out of place, flailing in their living room, about to be here alone, with your memories, your poisoned mind.

What’re you doing? You’ve ruined everything. Broken all your rules. 

“We can stay.” Simon steps close, hand grazing the middle of your back, and you shake your head.

“No, no- I… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t-“

“Yes, I do.” Your voice shakes, and you slam your eyes shut. You can’t do this. “I shouldn’t be here. I’m putting you in danger, and I… I’m putting myself in danger and I’m being so- so stupid, Simon.” His gaze is heavy, serious, and he steps around you, sliding Penny into her bounce seat, turning it to face baby Einstein.

“Listen to me.”  As he returns, he reaches, carefully pulling you close, close enough you’re nearly in his chest, timing the rise and fall of his diaphragm. “We are safe, you are safe, sweetheart. ‘m not going to let anything happen to you, or Penny, or any of us. Alright?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Tell me.” You almost laugh, but something comes over you instead, something delirious and desperate. You lean into him, letting him hold you, hand smoothing over the back of your head. “You can tell me. You can trust us. We’ll take care of you.”

God, you want to. You want to so bad it aches, burns a ravenous fire in your heart. You want tell him, let them in. Tell them everything.

“Bun.” He murmurs, bringing you back, a finger under your chin.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s… it’s too much.”

“It’s alright.” He soothes, but doesn’t pull away, and you’re drawn in like a magnet, rising to the balls of your feet, stuck in a trance, luring you closer.

He meets your halfway.

And then-

He’s kissing you, plush lips on yours, pancakes and fresh laundry and stained-glass windows of sanctuary on his tongue.

You’re standing in the sun, in the trance of another spell.

It’s a mouthful of butterscotch and maple. Sweet, delicious breakfast in bed, lazy Saturday mornings and whispered, tender words. It’s life unlike your own, a home, the promise of a love not fractioned, chipped away, or strangled… but multiplied, magnified. His touch is painfully gentle, slow and easy, encouraging you to follow his lead, carefully constructing a tiny universe to disappear to, where shadow cannot touch. A fantasy, cocoon of stars, ambrosial and sacrosanct, an escape from the hell nipping at your heels, the hell chasing you through your dreaming and waking hours. 

The anxious hum radiating through every cell in your body flatlines.

The girl in the mirror weeps.

Everything goes silent. Your breathing slows. Your hands fall to the side, listless and stunned.

Penny grunts. The moment shatters.

You can only stare with wide, terrified eyes.

“Johnny.” It’s the first word out of your mouth, the only thing you can conjure. “I’m sorry, I don’t know… I’m sorry.” Johnny. Johnny’s not here. How can he kiss you when his partner isn’t here? His heart will be broken, you’re destroying their family, you’re-

“I kissed you, bunny. Nothin’ to be sorry about.” Simon hums, still holding your face. “Johnny’s okay. He’ll be a bit jealous he didn’t get one too, but he won’t be upset.”

“How?” the question squeaks, and he takes your hand, tugging you towards the couch, settling you back into the cushions, easily guiding you with deft hands. He's so careful, so gentle, the touch of a man who raises a daughter, who loves his partner, adroit and nimble, anticipating movement before it happens. 

“After Penny goes down tonight, let’s have a drink. Or some late dinner. We can talk, and I’ll answer as many of your questions as I can. How’s that sound?” He strokes a thumb across the apple of your cheek. Talking can’t hurt, can it?

“O-okay. Yeah.” You try to shrug, pain lancing through your shoulder, and you try to smother your wince. He frowns.

“I want you to get some rest today.” A small grin creeps across your face.

“You always tell people what to do?” He nods, solemn.

“It’s my job. Takin’ care of you lot is an added bonus.” He breezes by the grouping of you with his family, like it’s a normal thing, rubbing circles in your palm. “Let’s get you comfortable.”

“I can-“

“I’m here. Let me help.” You don’t say anything at first. Can’t say anything, can’t formulate a response that encompasses everything you’re thinking and feeling, stuck on the mile high wall that is your fear and denial, afraid to jump. Afraid to fall.

He doesn’t push. Doesn’t ask you to respond, He just… settles you, cautiously arranging the pillows to support your injuries, lets you sit there atop the wall, staring down at the ground where they wait. Patiently. He rubs your back and your good shoulder until you’re drifting away in heady, hazy dream world, unable to stir when he slips free, tucking the blankets in around you, and pressing another long, lingering kiss to your brow.

You wake in a panic to the doorbell ringing. Your heart races, and you’re up off the couch, tucked around a corner of the hall, hiding, in a blink, even though your shoulder and neck scream at the sudden change of position.

Breathe. You’re losing it. Philip wouldn’t ring a doorbell. 

The door clicks open.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice echoes to where you’re still curled around the hallway, back pressed flat, eyes closed. “Hello? Anyone home?” Who is that? 

You peek, like a child. Peering around to see a familiar woman with grocery bags in her hands, depositing them on the kitchen counter.

She spots you immediately.

“Hi!” She’s grinning, pretty and bright, pulling a carton of milk from a brown paper bag and putting it in the fridge. “I’m Lou. Sorry, did I scare you? I tried to ‘announce’ myself.” She makes bunny ears with her fingers before and after the word announce, with half of an eye roll. “John’s always telling me I have to when I come over. Can’t be giving anyone surprises, and I knew you were here. Just wasn’t sure if you’d be up for visitors. Sorry if I gave you a fright.”

“No, I…” you trail off, readjusting, giving her your name. She nods and smiles again. “I remember you. In front of the elevator that day.”

“Yeah, that was me.” She’s earnest in her focus, beaming at you, almost like she’s excited.

“You look a little different out of your cute scrubs.” That gives you a small laugh, and you smile honestly at her, flattered.

“Thanks.”

“Sorry if I’m disturbing you.”

“Oh no, you’re not. I was just… I’m fine.” She pulls a flat of eggs free and stacks them next to a colorful pile of produce.

“I do the store runs for Simon right now. It’s too much, with Johnny in hospital and taking care of Pen. We’ve been trying to lighten his load.” Guilt twists. And here you are, adding onto it. 

“That’s very nice of you.” She waves it off.

“They’ve kept my husband alive a million times over. It’s the least I can do.”

“Right… they… work together?”

“Simon is semi-retired but yeah. They’re in a global task force. It’s the four of them. Have you met Kyle yet?”

“Oh, yeah. At the hospital one day.”

“Best guy, really.” Her clothes swish, warm and sweet aura practically glowing.

“Yeah, he was really nice.” She rests her hands on her hips and looks you over.

“You okay?” This woman is direct. She's got a no nonsense approach, and through intense, there's true ardor in her, passion and care. 

“Yeah, I’m just… still recovering.” You don’t know what she knows, not sure what they’ve told her or John, so you’re not sure how much, or what even, to say.

“Simon told us, about you being mugged. I’m so sorry, it’s just awful.” She’s sincere in her sympathy, big brown eyes sad and considerate.

“It’s okay, thank you. I’m okay.”

“If you need anything, I’m always around. Or if you want to talk to another girl that isn’t a toddler.” It’s an olive branch of friendship, you realize, or the beginnings of, and you’re startled, considering it, wondering if it would be so bad… to have a friend.

“Thank you.” She gives you her number, and you tap it in, shooting her a text with your name.

“You should sit.”

“I can help with these.”

“No, no. No offense, but you look half asleep. I’ve got it.” You laugh even though it hurts, awkward half shrug with good shoulder, and agree.

“Yeah, I’m still recovering. It’s been slow.”

“I’m sure.” You sit at the counter, watching her organize the fridge with scary efficiency. “I’ll be out of your hair in a minute. Just had to drop these off.”

“Oh, you’re fine.” It’s nice. You’re nice. She feels safe, the proximity to Simon and Johnny naturally leading you to feel comfortable, knowing she’s welcomed by them, she’s a part of their life. It makes you feel more at ease, and you try to convey it without getting tangled up in awkward words.

You don’t know how. Not really sure how to make genuine friends anymore, so you just sit there and watch, listening to her talk, enjoying how she rambles a little bit, laughing at herself.

When she says goodbye at the door, she promises to text you the next time she’s coming by, so you’re not surprised, and you linger there, watching her go, wondering if it’s real, surprisingly mourning the loss of companionship already.

“Johnny misses you.” The ice in Simon’s rocks glass clinks together as he sips his bourbon, corner of his mouth lifting in a partial smirk. “Not too fond of his new nurse, I’m afraid. Think he’s spoiled now.”

“How is he?” You’re on the edge of your seat for an update, but not wanting to pry too much. It’s a delicate line, one where you don’t know on which side to stand.

“Good. Wrist fracture is nearly healed, so he’ll be able to start on crutches soon. Once he does, he’ll be doing physical therapy for most of his day, and ready to come home. Should be soon.” He really smiles now, and you mirror it, unable to deny the infectious bloom of happiness spreading from him to you.

“And his liver?”

“No complications. Grafts for his burn are in great shape. Hip is the trickiest part.”

“Yeah, they take a lot longer to heal, but I’m sure he’ll do a great job of it, just like everything else.”

“Thanks to you.” You sip your wine, citrusy peach and passionfruit coating your tongue. It’s a nice bottle, and you were surprised when Simon brought it home, bag of takeaway in one arm, Penny in the other.

“No.”  Your cheeks heat. “I was just there. You guys did the hard work.”

“Wouldn’t have made it without you though. Think I would’ve lost it. Him too.”

“You would’ve been fine.” You brush it off, and he shakes his head.  

“You’re too modest.” He drains his pour, uncapping the bottle on the coffee table between you and refilling it halfway. Glass on glass chimes, and you sink deeper into the couch, relaxing, tucking your knees up until you’re half curled into a ball, wine glass cradled between your palms.

“So…”

“I told you; you can ask me whatever you like.” You knew this was the case, but hesitance is still brimming in your heart, uneasy feelings festering beneath your skin, burning question shoving to the surface.

“Did you tell Johnny we kissed?”

“I did.”

“Was he upset?”

“Only because he feels like he’s missing out. I told him we’d make it up to him.” Fire enflames your skin. We?

“And by we you mean… us. Together. Like… the three of us.”

“I do.” The girl in the mirror screams. She doesn’t understand, why you continue to act against her better judgement. Why you’re entertaining something so, so dangerous, something so stupid.

“Simon, I… I can’t.”

“You keep saying that but look where you are, bun.” He motions to the table, takeaway cartons scattered across the top, half empty bottle of wine, his bourbon, and a baby monitor. It looks like a nice night in, a simple, sweet life, not even close to being your own.

Still, the girl in mirror combats. Still.

“This isn’t… this isn’t a thing it’s just… we’re hanging out. I’m not going to be here forever, I’m looking for a place and I-“ His face changes, flicker of shadow fading across his brow before being chased away by the sunlight in his eyes. You thought he'd be easier to read, without the mask, imagined you'd be able to place his expressions but you're just as confused and lost as ever. 

“Slow down. There’s no need to look for a place to live.”

“W-what?” The wine has made you a little slow, a little sleepy, and you blink through the stupor.

“You’re still healing, sweetheart, and I know you're scared. I’ve known since the first day you stepped into Johnny’s room.”

“No.” You shake your head. Pain fizzles, numbed by alcohol, and your head swims.

“I know you weren’t mugged.” How? “I know you’re running from someone.” Oh god. The urge to get to your feet and bolt washes over you like a wave.

“I- I’m not.” The lie is bare-boned, pathetically unconvincing, and you know it. He knows it too; you can tell by the look on his face.

“You’re not ready to tell me, that’s fine. I’m patient. But you won’t be going anywhere if I don’t know you’re safe. And right now, to me, it doesn’t seem like you’re safe.” The pale yellow of your wine shines in the low lights of the living room, and you get lost in it, swirling around in his words, trying to put them together and pick them apart, desperate to understand what he means.

“Are you… are you saying you won’t let me leave?” You gulp. It’s a ridiculous conclusion, but the first one you jump to.

And in that, you know you’re giving too much away.

His face softens, and he reaches, pulling your free hand into his own, petting some sort of sequence into your skin. 

“Of course not, sweetheart. I’d never, ever force you to do something you didn’t want to do. But I do want you to stay, here with us. Where we can keep you safe, take care of you.”

“I don’t need-“

“I know you don’t. I know you take care of yourself just fine.” The indignant roar in the back of your mind settles. “But I’d love an opportunity to do it instead.”

“Simon…”

“Did you know the cells in our body hold onto trauma? They carry imprints of traumatic events. It can change your biology, the way you function.” He squeezes your hand. “It’s hard to realize… that it’s not normal, the way you might be, the way you think, or do things, when you’re carrying the physical memory of terrible things.” He’s not talking about you. There’s a fleeting flash of sadness in his eyes, ghosts circling the drain around his irises, and your heart aches. “We can help you. I don’t know who you’re hiding from, but I can guess what they’ve done- look at me.” You force your eyes back to him, and he cups your cheek. “You do not have to be afraid here. You are safe with me, with us. I know you don’t believe it, and I’ll tell you as many times you need, but it will never not be true. We can help you.”

“You don’t know… you don’t know what you’re saying.” Your denial is steadfast. They cannot possibly understand. 

A small seed of light blooms under darkness. It’s the sun, struggling to break free, trying to drag you into its warm, golden rays. It tugs and tugs, clawing towards you, illuminating the path forward.

The words come out before the girl in the mirror can stop them.

“You don’t know him. He’s sick and… powerful. He’s a monster but he’s smart, has connections, has ways of doing things that… I don’t even know. He’d kill you.” You clap your hand over your mouth in shock, surprised at yourself. It’s the most you’ve said about Philip in years.

You expect pushback. Expect Simon to flinch, or cower, or have good sense… a rational reaction to being told someone might try to hurt him.

He smiles instead, settling back on his side of the couch.

“I’d just have to get to him first, then.” Is he… is he? Simon watches you, reaches into your brains to peer inside, rooting around in your head. The way he looks at you, like he knows everything you’re feeling, can see what you're thinking, makes you shiver, makes you feel like you’re a tiny mouse in the shadow of a mountain. He sighs. “Give us a chance.”

“A chance?”

“A chance, to know you. Let us in, let us try. Stay here, with us, spend time with me and Johnny and Pen. No strings attached. If you decide it’s not for you… we’ll understand.”  

No strings attached. 

You could pick up and leave if you wanted. If you had to. 

What’re you doing? 

“How does it work? Would we all…” you trail off, confused.

“Date?” Simon finishes gently. “Yes.”

“So, you guys are… bi?” He chuckles.

“Yes, sweetheart. We’re bi.”

“Is this… a thing? Something you guys do?”

“We’ve never taken another partner before, no.” Your eyes widen. “You’re our first.” You don’t know why, but knowing is exhilarating and terrifying, all at the same time. You’re their first. 

He’s talking about it like it’s already happened. 

Fatigue settles in around you, thick fog of it draping over your shoulders and clouding your head.

“I… I don’t know.” You stifle a yawn. “I need to think.” He abandons his perch for one next to you, pulling your wine glass free and setting it on the table.

“Tired?” His fingers sweep over your cheek, skin warming under his touch.

“Mhmm.” You mumble, sleepily. Your head is very heavy, suddenly, hard to hold up.

“Alright.” He stands, bending to slide an arm under your knees, the other supporting your back in one fluid movement.

“What are you doing?” You squeak, grabbing onto him as he rises, lifting you into his chest at full height. Panic floods your nervous system, fevered tone pitching into a plea. “Put me down! I’m too heavy. Please, I’m too heavy, you can’t-“

“I’ve lifted a car off a teammate before.” He tells you, the thick of his body beneath your ear vibrating. “And I’ve dug Johnny out of a collapsed concrete wall. I’m made to pick things up, bunny. Heavy or not.” He holds you right there, all the way up the stairs, down the hall to the guest room, before settling you back on your feet, big hands around your waist for balance. Your back is to his chest now, and his nose drifts across the top of your head, slow path of his fingers stroking down your hip. “Alright?” He asks, and you nod, throat too dry to speak.

He squeezes. You stifle a gasp, resist the urge to press your thighs together.

It’s been so long since you’ve been touched, since anyone has handled you with reverence, with affection. You almost don’t recognize it.

His hand drifts, slipping between your thigh and cheek. “This okay?” He murmurs, and you manage a rough yes, word sticky and thick in your throat. Yes. Yes, don’t stop. A fingertip strokes along the crease there, back and forth, before trailing upward. He takes as much of your flesh in his palm as he can, squeezing again, caressing, mouth skimming along your neck.  

“Oh.” you breathe. The room is warm, barely lit by the bedside lamp, and you burn in the dark, sensations sparking alive that have long laid dormant.

The girl in the mirror curses you.

“Need help getting to bed?”

“N-no.” Yes! “I’m… fine.” His lips touch your cheek, then your ear, breath blowing over you, firm, solid warm mass at your back exhaling shakily.

“Get some sleep.” He steps away, but not before he swings, slowly, softly, into the pillow plush of your ass. It’s a gentle tap, but the fire between your legs roars. “Goodnight, bun.”

“G-goodnight.”

Simon's got his sweatpants and boxers off before he's even fully in the bathroom, running right into the shower, hand wrapped around his throbbing cock as the water flicks on. It's not hot enough, but he doesn't even notice, cock heavy in his grip, tip already smeared wet with pre-come. 

"Fuck, bunny." He grits, trying to stay quiet but unable to hold his tongue.

He's awful, for this. Awful for doing this after you've had such an emotional night. Awful for touching you when you're still healing, awful for grabbing a handful of your ass and imagining sliding his dick through the space between those cheeks. He can't stop, strokes himself long, squeezing the base and pulling up and back as he imagines you on all fours, perfect globe perked up in the air for him, his cock sinking into your soaking wet pussy as you moan. He knows you would make the prettiest sounds for them, sweet gasps and cries, bouncing on Johnny's cock in his lap. 

"Hop like a bunny." He'd coo, and you'd whine, riding Johnny as Simon coached you until you were so close, almost there on the edge. "Show daddy how bad you want to come, little bunny." 

He jerks himself harder, eyes closed, imagining the ripple of your flesh, the way you'd bounce so perfectly, how Johnny would be gripping your hips with his head tipped back, throat exposed for Simon to nip and suck a mark into.

His bunny. His boy. 

His toes curl. Water streams down his back, slicking his skin, forearm burning with each stroke, imagination running wild as he gets closer and closer, thinking about you and Johnny and him together, finally, your legs spread wide in front of their faces, perfect pussy on display. He can almost hear the way you'd whisper their names, and it blinds him, fills his head with white light. He knows you're beautiful when you come, as beautiful as you are when you let your guard down and give him a real smile, as beautiful as you are everyday, so pretty and perfect, kind, even as a ghost. He imagines it, pictures it, the sight of his and Johnny's come leaking out of your hole, fingers shoving it back inside, marking you as theirs. 

He comes with your name on his lips, a strangled whisper, painting the tile with himself. 

He falls asleep with a new addition in their bed, on top of Johny's t shirt and the baby monitor... there's now a long sleeved tee, plucked from your dirty laundry this morning as he was getting ready to leave. It smells like you, something he wishes he could bottle, and he holds it close, tied in tandem with Johnny's, curled in his arms on top of the pillow. 

[specialagentartemis]

godddddd i have disliked becky chambers' work since long way to a small angry planet and I agree that that fish scene is SO much of what is wrong with contemporary SFF especially queer SFF. refreshing take, great review, thank you. would love to hear what authors or works you think of as the antidote to that sensibility.

The thing is, I enjoyed The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet when I first read it - it was a fun, light adventure, clearly a debut novel but I was excited to see where Chambers would go from there. And I actually really do think the sequel, A Closed and Common Orbit, was good! It did interesting things with AI personhood and identity.

... and then Chambers just kinda. Did not get better. She settled into a groove and has a set number of ideas that I feel like she hasn't broken out of, creatively. And they I M O kind of rest on an assumption that "human nature" = "how people act in suburban California."

As an antidote to that sensibility, I'd say... books where people have a real interrelationship with the land they inhabit, a sense of being present, and reciprocal obligations to that land; books that recognize that some things can never be taken back once done; books with well-drawn characters, where people have strong opinions deeply informed by their circumstances, that can't always be easily reconciled with others, and won't be brushed aside; books where these character choices matter, they impact each other, they cannot be easily gotten over, because people have obligations to each other and not-acting is a choice too.

And it's only fair that after all day of being a Hater I should rec some books I really did like.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke - A man lives alone in an infinite House, over an equally infinite ocean. Captures the feeling that I think Monk & Robot was aiming for. Breathtaking beauty, wonder at the world, philosophy of truth, all that good stuff, and actually sticks the landing. The main character's love, attention, and care to his fantasy environment shows through in every page. (Fantasy, short novel)

Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie - An AI, the one fragment remaining of a destroyed imperial spaceship, is on a quest for revenge. Leckie gets cultural differences and multiculturalism, and conversely, what the imposition of a homogeneous culture in the name of unity means. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee - An army captain's insubordination is punished by giving her a near-impossible mission: to take down a rebelling, heretical sect holing up in a space fortress and defying imperial power. She gets a long dead brain-ghost of a notorious criminal downloaded into her head to help. Very, very good at making you feel like every doomed soldier was a person with a past, with a family, with feelings, with hopes and dreams and frustrations and favorites and preferences and reasons to live, right before they brutally die in a space war. Also very much about the imposition of homogeneity of culture as a force of imperialism. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

The Fortunate Fall by Cameron Reed - Maya Andreyevna is a VR journalist in high-tech dystopian future Russia, and she decides to investigate the truth that the government doesn't want her to. She might die trying. It's fine. Also has digital brain-sharing, this time in a gay way. It's bleak. It's sad. It feels real. Not making a choice is a choice. Backing out is a choice. And choices have consequences. Choices reverberate through history. About responsibility. (Cyberpunk, novel)

The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez - Nia Imani is a spaceship captain, a woman out of time, a woman running from her past, and accidentally adopts a boy who has a strange power that could change the galaxy. Spaceship crew-as-found-family in the most heartbreaking of ways. Also about choices, how the choices you make and refuse to make shape you and shape the world around you. How the world is always changing around you, how the world does not stay still when you're gone, and when you come back you're the same but the world has moved on around you. About how relationships aren't always forever, and that doesn't mean they weren't important. About responsibility to others. It's a slow, sad book and does not let anyone rest on their laurels, ever. There is no end of history here. Everything is always changing, on large scales and small, and leaving you behind. (Space sci-fi, novel)

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui - A D&D style fantasy dungeon crawl that stops to think deeply about why there are so many dungeons full of monsters and treasure just hanging around. Here because it's an example of an author thinking through her worldbuilding a lot, and it mattering. Also because of the characters' respect for the animals they are are killing and eating, their lives and their place in the ecosystem, and the ways that humans both fuck up ecosystems with extraction and tourism, but also the ways that you can have reciprocal relationships of responsibility and care with the ecosystem you live in, even if it's considered a dangerous one. (Fantasy, manga series)

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang and How Long 'Til Black Future Month by N. K. Jemisin and Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel by Julian K. Jarboe - Short story anthologies that were SO good and SO weird and rewired the way I think. If you want the kind of stuff that is like, the opposite of easy-to-digest feel-good pap, these short stories will get into your brain and make you consider stuff and look at the world from new angles. Most of them aren't particularly upbeat, but there's a lot of variety in the moods.

"Homecoming is Just Another Word for the Sublimation of the Self," "Calf Cleaving in the Benthic Black," and "Termination Stories for the Cyberpunk Dystopia Protagonist" by Isabel J. Kim - Short stories, sci-fi mostly, that twist around in my head and make me think. Kim is very good at that. Also about choices and not-making-choices, about going and staying, about taking the easy route or the hard one, about controlling the narrative.

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells - Security robot with guns in its arms hacks itself free from its oppressive company, mostly wants to half-ass its job but gets sucked into drama, intrigue, and caring against its better judgement. This is on here because 1) I love it 2) I feel like it does for me what cozy sff so frequently fails to do - it makes me feel seen and comforted. It's hopeful and compassionate and about personal growth and finding community and finding one's place in the world, without brushing aside all problems or acting like "everybody effortlessly just gets along" is a meaningful proposal. also 3) because it is one of the few times I have yet seen characters from a hippie, pacifistic, eco-friendly, welcoming, utopian society actually act like people. The humans from Preservation are friendly, helpful, and motivated by truth and justice and compassion, because they come from a friendly, just, compassionate society, and they still actually act like real human beings with different personalities and conflicting opinions and poor reactions to stress and anger and frustration and fear and the whole range of human emotions rather than bland niceness. Also 4) I love it (space sci-fi, novella series mostly)

[luvyeni]

THE DEMON IN THE KITCHEN • PARK SUNGHOON

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ demon!sunghoon wc. 5.2k+

𓄷 warnings... smut mdni. mentions of murder. sunghoon actually hates you. attempted murder ( twice ). reader likes some weird stuff. sexual tension. oral ( m. receiving ). rough sex. degradation.

nia's notes: this is probably a lot darker than the jake one , im sorry, but I hope you still enjoy 🖤 jay is next !!!

jake | lucifer masterlist | jay

having taken you away , I became a terrible monster, destroy and trample all …

with the burning fire of lucifer’s anger , swallow it up …

It had been about a month since you've found out about Jake; and the other demons who you haven't met that lived in your grandparents' old house — they hadn't introduced themselves yet ; so you and Jake spent your days alone in the house , never really leaving.

You mother had also came and visited to check on the house, see what you had gotten done; and if the house needed any renovations— unfortunately; your new friend had to stay away that week, which he dramatically claimed was the worse week in 50 years.

Besides watching TV shows and forcing Jake to take up baking; you two also had a lot of sex— like a lot there was not a time jake and you weren't on each other; his hips constantly rutting against yours while watching tv; his hands in your pants , giving you orgasm after orgasm before you went to sleep. Jake never slept though; he didn't need it, instead he watched over you while you sleep. At first yes you thought it was a bit creepy; but eventually you grew to like it; and soon you couldn't sleep unless he was right next to you, holding your hand.

You liked spending time with Jake; but you couldn't help but ask questions about the others; jake— who at first was jealous that you would literally ask about them when he's right there , put his pride to the side; you weren't only his— told you everything he could about his brothers ; telling you that he believed it will different and they'll all come out when they're ready. “be patient.” he would always said. “things will be different soon.”

“have you tried to eat?” you asked during one of your baking sessions. “of course , but, I don't need to eat, why would I? besides your grandmother was a terrible cook.” His face scrunched up in disgust. “I don't need to eat the brownies , but I believe you when you say they are good.” You frowned; which made him feel bad. “Fine, I'll eat one.” You smiled , cutting him a piece of freshly cooked brownie. “take a bite.”

You watched as he bit down on the brownie; his eyes lit up, moaning at the chocolate gooey treat. “it's so good.” he said. “We did a good job.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “we? the only thing you did was crack the eggs.” he shrugged. “That's something.” He said , your lips were in a thin line. “You got egg shells in the batter three times.”

“When you leave at night.” You said , laying in bed after a tense session. “where do you go?” this question had always loomed over your head. “there's a lot you don't know about this house; a lot that all of the owners don't know.” He said, “like what.” You sat up. “this house has many secret tunnels , the first owner who built this house was a bit of a maze lover , so he built a bunch of tunnels under ground.” He said. “And some of them have rooms?” you asked. “more like and entire underground house.” He said.

“How do i access it?” He sat up , holding your hand. “Do not go searching for it.” He said. “Why not?” You said. “Because the first owner wasn't just obbsesed with the labyrinth, but he was also a bit of a nutjob.” He said. “He also built secret tunnels that would lead to no where , but would trap you inside and you can't get out— ones so the ground could easily become unstable and you could get hurt.” He said. “Promise me you won't go looking, promise me.” you saw the concern look on his face , deciding not to stress him further. “Fine I won't go looking for the passage ways.” He looked into your eyes. “What can you tell if I'm lying or not?” He nodded. “Well smartass we can in fact tell when you're lying , that's how I know you're telling the truth.” he kissed your pouty lips. “It's best you don't go around getting hurt , if you die we can all feel it.”

Jake left after making sure you were in a deep sleep; locking up the house, something you always forgot to do , so he took it into his own hands to do so— turning the lights off , making his way through the tunnels back to where he'd wait until morning when he knew you were about to get up and start his day with you again.

you sat up in your bed , looking around the dark room. “Jake?” You rubbed your eyes , a blurry figure appearing in front of you. “Jake?” You squinted, “is that you?” He nodded , holding his hand out. “Come with me.” You held your hand out , getting out of bed , where he waited. He took a hold of your hands. “Follow me.”

“Where are you taking me?” You asked. “You wanted to see where we stayed right?” He asked. “Well I'm taking you.” You were confused. “You told me it was dangerous.” He looked back at you. “alone? yes, but you're with me me, would I ever put you in a dangerous love?” He wouldn't , you knew that he wouldn't. “No” he smiled. “Then keep walking.”

And that's what you did, following him down to the base of the house , where he guided you to a wall , pushing on the wall. “just go right through there.” He went first holding your hand , guiding you through the tunnels, lit with torches. “Just a little further love.”

You finally made it to the door , he pointed. “There.” He said. “open the door love.” You were about to reach for the door; turning back to him. “Go ahead.” As you reached for the door , you heard a yell— no a call of your name, it was jake; but how could that be if he was right there with you , and his mouth wasn't moving; in fact he was smiling. “Guess he's right on time.” The boy in front of you said. “what?” His mouth went flat. “Maybe next time.” He said. “Wake up.”

Your eyes suddenly shot open, it felt like all the air came rushing back to your lungs. “y/n!” His arms were wrapped around you. “huh?” Your head felt dizzy. “I told you to never come looking for these tunnels.” He held your shoulders , shaking you. “you promised you wouldn't come looking for these tunnels and you were sleepwalking.” He seemed so scared, you tried to explain but he wasn't having it. “Let's get you back to your room.” He said.

“You don't understand, you almost opened one that could've killed you.” He said , you sat on your bed. “But you're the one that guided me there , you told me you were gonna show me.” You said , he shook his head. “No I didn't , why would i guide you to one that was gonna kill you?” He said, he had a point. “But he looked just like you.”

“He did?” He asked. “Yeah , just like you.” He thought about it for just a split second , his eyes filling with rage. “What's wrong?” You reached for his hand , but he shot up to the floor. “I have to go.” He said. “Where?” You asked. “Jake where are you— just go back to sleep, I'll see you in the morning.” Was all he said , before leaving out— like hell you were going to sleep.

meanwhile Jake was on a mission; to find him, pushing the door open. “Sunghoon!” He shouted. “Where the fuck are you.” He was livid, walking throughout the house to find him. “sunghoon!”

“What?” The boy emerged from his own room. “what the hell is your problem?” Jake shoved the boy. “You could've kill her.” He bellowed , sunghoon nodded; the shrug barely phasing him. “you're right I could've but I didn't , did I?” He tilted his head to the side. “shes safe no? you got to her in time.” Jake couldn't believe his brother would be this heartless ; he wasn't always like this. “if you don't like her then leave her alone.” Jake said. “be like jay then , don't bother her.” He said.

“No.” he folded his arms, waking towards the boy. “I want her to take the necklace off , I want her to break the bond.” He said. “Leave this place , leave us alone.” He said, “I don't want to deal with her family anymore.” Jake knew he had his reasons; but this didn't mean he could do this to you. “she's not like her , I promise.” but sunghoon wasn't listening , already checked out. “maybe if you just got— i don't care, just cause your pussy whipped doesn't mean anything to me.” He said. “she's as good as dead in my eyes.”

You actually don't see Jake the next morning; which doesn't worry you at first; until he doesn't show up in the afternoon either— he told you he'd be back , and then the way he left abruptly. “Jake?” You called out , but got no answer. you got up , you couldn't wait for him today ; you needed to go into town.

“Hey it's you again.” You smiled seeing kai; the cute cashier standing at the register. “was starting to think you left.” He said , packing all your things up. “no , just don't really get out much.” He nodded. “understandable , driving into town all the time could be a handful.” He said. “Your grandmother never came into town , actually i haven't seen your cousins in a while.”

Cousin? you didn't have a cousin , you're mother didn't have any siblings. “Oh you're talking about jake.” Knowing what you knew about your grandmother she probably did use them as her slaves. “long black hair, kinda like a golden retriever?” He laughed , sitting your last bag in the cart. “Golden retriever?” He said. “No , absolutely not, his hair was short and black.” he could sense your confusion. “sunghoon I think his name was.” — sunghoon? jake said he didn't leave the house. “oh sunghoon , yeah.” you chuckled. “he went home to his family” he nodded. “figured.” he said. “he didn't talk much , and when he did, it was cold and sorta murderous.”

he walked you to your car; helping you put your groceries in the trunk. “thank you so much kai.” He nodded , smiling. “No problem.” He awkwardly shifted on the balls of his feet. “Is there something else?” You questioned. “Would you like the to get a drink sometime?” He said. “With you?” you asked. “Y-yeah , it's fine if you're busy though.” He stuttered. “No I'm not busy any time soon.” you said he smiled. “how about saturday?” you nodded. “sure.”

you bring all the bags inside. “Jake!” You shouted , closing the door. “Jake where are you?” You walked around looking for him. “I went to the grocery store.” You looked into the different rooms. “Jake?” nowhere , it was like he vanished, you walked into your room , the door to your closet open, making you smile. “Jake?” you open the door; empty — except it wasn't fully empty, there was a door. “huh?”

you moved the shoes , pushing the door; it opened. “Is this how he was leaving?” you asked yourself , shaking your head. “I'm gonna kill him again , if I find him.” you looked down the tunnel , another opening; wide open and you could see inside , a room. “seems safe.” You walked down the dimly lit tunnel , stopping once you reached the door. You pushed it open , walking it. “Jake?”

it was a room, a red and black room; the bed right in the mirror , it was almost a mirror to yours; Jake had nice taste— it was actually better than yours. “That's because it's not jake's room.” you heard an almost familiar, but unfamiliar voice. “and that's not how he enters your room.” He said , you were almost scared to turn around , you could feel the room become colder. “you're sunghoon.”

you turned around, and there he was, just like kai described— expect scarier cause he was right in front of you. “you kept calling for him and calling for him, it was annoying me.” he said. “I can hear you.” The door slammed behind you making you jump forward. “Your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.” he stepped closer to you. “i hate constantly hearing it in my head.” you stepped back. “then dont listen to it, I'm looking for Jake.” you turned to open the door; only for him to slam it again. “you think its that fucking easy?” He scoffed. “You are just as dumb as I thought you were.”

he didn't even know you, so why was he insulting you? “it was you.” You said. “You're the one who made me sleep walk— the one who tried to kill me.” he scoffed. “Trust me if I was trying to kill you, you'd be dead already.” He said. “sending me into a fucking tunnel to have my head caved in by rocks didn't seem like you were trying to be welcoming”

“Oh you have a mouth on you.” he said smiling. “Gonna make killing you so much better.” He said. “st-stay.” He interrupted “stay away? or what? you gonna call jakey?” he mockingly said. “I want you to take the necklace off,” he said. “Leave this house, hide it somewhere your parents won't find it.” he said. “If your mother doesn't find it , I won't have to slave for your disgusting family anymore, and when they die we'll get a new bond.” He said, “or I can kill you.” you can feel his breathing on your neck. “Jake can't stop me.” he whispered in your ear. “I can hear your heart racing.”

your breath hitched, he smirked. “Is the thought of me killing you turning you on,” he said. “are you really that sick of a person , not only do you fuck demons , you fuck demons who want to kill you as well. “ you felt his hand coming up to your back , pushing down on it. “st-st” you stuttered. “I bet if I fucked you right now you'd take it.” he growled. “Let little jakey walk in on me making you take my cock.” you gasp , his hands coming up to your hair yanking it back. “or I snap your neck now.”

he let you go; pulling the door open. “now get the fuck out; and think about what I said.” he said; you took off back down the tunnel entering back through the closet, slamming the hidden door closed , standing in your closet , trying to catch your breath— he said alot of stuff; what the fuck were you supposed to think about. “yn?” you heard jake's voice outside your door. “jake?” you pushed open the closet door. “where the hell have you been? I've called you 50 times.”

“I gave you a break, you seemed pretty scared,” he said. “Why are you coming out of the closet?” he asked, he saw the look in your eyes. “you found the passageway into sunghoons room?” you nodded. “and he was in there.” you nodded again. “I'm so sorry yn.” he stood up, hugging you. “I don't know why he's like that now , he actually wasn't that bad.” feeling your heartbeat. “What did he say?”

“N-nothing.” You said. “You're shaking like a leaf and your heartbeat is going a mile a minute, he must've said something.” you didn't know what to tell him , so you only told him what you thought he wanted to hear. “He said he'd kill me.”

telling him everything except the “moment” you both shared. “that's it?” He said. “that's all he told you?” you nodded. “Y-yeah.” you said, he sighed. “Why does he hate my family so much?” you asked, he rubbed his face with his hands. “your grandmother really fucked with him; sunghoon was always a little fucked in the head , but she made did something he swore to never do again , and he couldn't stop her , so before she made him do it again—” he stopped , continuing on again. “What did he do?” you asked. “he stopped her.” that's all he said , before stopping. “He killed her.”

That's all jake would tell you that day; and the next few days it was like that— you trying to force it out him and him telling you no; and you tried everything, even withholding sex; which never lasted long because jake was persuasive little shit.

Eventually you gave up; until he came to you again— you knew it was a dream again; but he wasn't trying to trick you this time; it wasn't him trying to disguise himself as Jake, it was actually him. “So you chose to die?” He asked , you couldn't move your legs, you could only sit up. “All you had to do was take the necklace off,” he said. “is it because of jake isn't it?” you felt his finger on your ankle. “would you miss fucking little jakey?” he mocked you again.

“Are you getting turned on again?” his finger dragging up your thigh. “you didn't tell him earlier, why didn't he want him to find out you got wet from me threatening you earlier?” he made his way to your thigh, squeezing hard, you whimpered, his face was angry. “you keep asking questions.” he dug his fingers into your thigh. “you want to know why?” he said. “Why I killed her?” you couldn't move anyway so it was an obvious rhetorical question. “because she was a murderer,” he spat. “and I hate those the most.”

What was he talking about? you wanted to say something, but you couldn't; you wanted to ask him, but you couldn't open your mouth. “stop asking questions about me.” he finally let your leg go. “Next time I snap your fucking neck.” and just like that he was gone— you shot up feeling your legs , looked down at them; no bruises, breathless you looked around your room; everything was normal. except the fucking adrenaline wouldn't stop running through your veins, and the obvious ache in between your legs.

when you finally came to, you were livid; he had no right to be upset with you; you didn't murder anybody, so why was he so upset with you? why'd he want to kill you so badly? and who the hell did she kill; that really wasn't on the top of your list now, finding the murderous man. “sunghoon!”

your voice was booming throughout the house. “I know you're listening, you're all always fucking listening.” you yanked at your hair frustrated. “so fucking answer me , sunghoon!” you felt like you were going crazy , screaming into the air like a lunatic. “what?” you turned around, and there he was. “I told you to le—” before he could finish , all you saw was red , before raising your hand , slapping the demon across the face. “What the fuck?”

“how fucking dare you?” you hissed. “whatever my grandmother did to you doesn't have shit to do with me , so don't you ever interfere with my dreams again.” you said. “and I'm not taking the necklace off , your little scare tactic doesn't scare me anymore.” he scoffed. “scare tactic?” He said. “That's what you think it is?” you could almost feel the heat bouncing off his body. “I said next time I will snap your neck.” before you could get a word out , your words were cut short; his hand wrapping around your neck. “I meant it.”

you could see his eyes flash red; he finally was gonna kill you. “I told you to take off the necklace and leave,” he said. “you should've listened.” He heard your heartbeat going faster, he wanted to do it, end it before he could start— but he couldn't.” He let you go , you gasped falling to the floor. “Stay away from me, stop calling out my name,” he said. “He's here.” before you could say something he was gone and Jake was here , ready to console you.

“you almost killed her!” Jake wanted to snap the boy's neck; that wouldn't help he was already dead. “but he didn't.” sunghoon sat on the bed. “and why didn't you sunghoon?” he sighed. “because she's innocent.” he said. “and?” he looked at Jake. “I'm not a killer , I don't kill innocent people.”

You rub the sleep from your eyes; sitting up, rubbing your sore neck. “you're gonna be fine.” a voice made you look up. “su-sunghoon.” you stuttered. “I'm not gonna hurt you calm down.” he said. “You tried to choke me.” You said. “yeah well now that you're not a murderer i have no reason to.” He said. “That's not how you apologize.” you said. “because it wasn't an apology.” you both stared into each other's eyes, before he coughed. “go to bed.” you tried to say something, but before you could blink— he was gone. “what?” then you realized, it wasn't a dream— he was really in your room.

you don't see him again— and soon saturday rolls around; and your date with kai. “you really don't have to go.” Jake followed you around the house as you got ready. “Well I already agreed , so yes I do.” you said. “why'd you agree in the first place?” you turned to him. “Because he's the first human I've come across since I came up here.” he pouted. “I can come with you.” you stood with your hand on your hips. “its supposed to be a date.” you said. “why would I bring you on a date?" he frowned, "why would you go on a date?" you pinched his cheek. “I'll only be gone for a few hours.”

you met kai at the bar; he was waiting at a table for your arrival. “kai!” you waved. “hey.” he stood up, hugging you. “you made it.” he let you go. “Of course I did.” you followed suit. “order anything you want , it's on me tonight.” He said. “You don't have to.” he shook his head. “Think of it as a very late welcome gift.”

“you're really pretty, you know that?” the red faced boy said. “I wanted to say that ever since I saw you first.” he was drunk , slurring his words. “but I was nervous.” he pouted, it was cute; it reminded you of jake. “but I was so happy when you said yes to going out with me,” he said. “I'm glad,” you said , and you genuinely were, but your mind was elsewhere; it was on sunghoon. why was he on your mind? he tried to kill you, you tried to shake it away.

“Are you okay?” he asked , both of you walking out. “yeah, are you okay?” you laughed , watching him stumble. “Will you be able to drive?” he shook his head. “I live down the road with my brothers, I'm fine, are you okay to drive?” you only had one drink , knowing you had to drive. “Yeah I'm fine,” he nodded. “Can I see you again?” your mind kept shifting , from him to jake— to sunghoon. “We'll see.”

you drove back to the house , pulling into the driveway. “Jake?” you call out , not getting an answer; but a noise , from the kitchen. “Jake?” there was the sound of glass shattering. “Jake , I told you to turn the light on , you've broken three of the mugs.” you threw your bag down , walking into the kitchen. “Jake get out of the ki—.” you froze in your spot. It wasn't Jake standing over the shards of glass; it was sunghoon. “I broke it , cleaned it.” he said. “wh-why are you here?” you asked. “Because you've been calling out for me for an hour , it started to get annoying.” He said. “I thought I said don't call out for me.”

“I didn't— you have been, you've been thinking about me, I heard it , felt it.” he said. “It's annoying.” you frowned. “Well you try being choked and then finding out you can't escape the thing trying to kill you, and then the thing trying to kill you is standing over a broken mug telling you to clean it.” you said. “That's annoying as well.” his face is stoic , but so is yours; staring at each other , both of you filling up with anger again. “I don't like you.”

you scoffed. “feeling is mutual.” he stepped closer , you stepped back. “i-im not scared of you.” He smirked. “I can hear your heartbeat dummy.” he said. “It's late out , why are you coming in late?” He had the nerve to ask you questions. “what's it matter to you?” he shrugged. “you smell like alcohol.” He scrunched his nose up in disgust. “you were out drinking? was it with a guy , little jakey won't like that.” it was your turn to scoff. “jakey or you?”

“What you do isn't my concern,” he said. “says the one standing in my kitchen , asking where I've been , seems like you like to make anything I do your concern.” you said, he stepped closer. “because I have no choice.” He said , standing over you now. “All because of that stupid necklace , as long as you're wearing it, I can hear what you're doing, see you.” he stopped. “feel what you're feeling.” your breath hitched as you felt his hand go up to your hair. “It's killing me.” you felt a tug on it, you whimpered. “i can't fucking escape you.”

he couldn't stop himself; his lips attaching to your neck with quickness, pushing you against the kitchen counter. “su-sunghoon.” he yanked on your head back. “don't speak.” He continued to attack your neck. “don't fucking speak.”

his hand gripped your waist; it most likely was gonna leave a bruise, but you didn't care. after leaving your neck covered in bruises, he pulled away. “On your knees.” he pushed you down. “gotta shut you up.” he groaned , unzipping his pants, pulling his underwear down just a bit to free his cock from its confinements , slapping against his abdomen. “open.”

you don't know why you were doing this; he tried to kill you; you should be scared of him— but that all seemed to not matter as he pushed his cock into yours mouth. “fuck.” he groaned, his cock hitting the back of your throat. “suck it , suck my fucking dick.” he growled. “wanna fuck your face.”

tears streaming down your face; drooling as he abused your throat. “so fucking messy -fuck- i can hear all the dirty thoughts on your little head.” he cursed. “so dirty, letting someone who hurt you fuck your tiny little throat.” he moaned, your thighs tightening together. “you're horny I can feel it.” he said. “need someone fu-fuck you.” he held your hair once more , pulling you off his cock. “not yet.” he pulled you off him, stroking his hard on. “gonna make you want it.” he said. “fuck you.” you spat; your mind was everywhere, you pissed at him— more importantly, you were horny. “still running that mouth.” he cursed, stroking faster. “see how fucking stupid you look -fuck- trying to be pissed at me , covered in my cum.” he growled. “fuck I'm cumming.” you felt his cum hitting your cheeks , tapping your lips. “So messy.”

You woke up the next morning; everything running through your head , you groaned. “yeah it happened.” Jake said. “I wish I could make it disappear from my mind.” you looked at the boy. “You two are sexually bonded to each other in a weird way,” he said. “like super weird , you hate each other so much , but you also want to fuck each other.” You stared at him. “i'm not jealous, I know our bond is stronger.” you rolled your eyes. “hey I'm not the one who fucked the demon who tried to kill me.” he shrugged. “I hate you.”

He was back two days later; you were sitting on your bed , when he pushed open your closet door. “Did I say you can use that, did I?” you said. “Yeah well I did.” he said, sitting down on the bed. “you were thinking about me again.” you stared at him. “Who did my grandmother make you kill?” His face dropped. “I’m not talking to anyone about that , especially you.” he said. “Why?” he said. “cause it was my grandmother.”

“You want to know? really?” he said , you nodded, “I do.” “It was your grandfather,” his voice was laced with bitterness. “she made me kill your grandfather.” you furrowed your eyebrows. “No you're lying, grandfather died of a heart attack.” you said. “Did he? or was it because I crushed his heart?” you gulped, he was looking you dead in the eyes. “why?” you asked. “She was tired of him , just wanted him gone , and she couldn't do it,” He said. “no , why did you kill him?” you said. “my told me he was the kindest man she'd ever known.”

“He was,” he said. “I couldn't do anything about it.” you scoffed. “So you just had to kill him?” he huffed. “You wouldn't understand,” he said. “Yeah I do, you're a murderer.” you could see his eyes turn red. “I'm not a murderer.” you curled back against the headboard. “I was a slave to her , to that fucking necklace— to who ever owns it.” He said. “That's my punishment.”

“punishment?” you questioned, “what kind of stupid punishment is that?” he closed his eyes , before continuing on. “As punishment for killing innocent people , I became a slave,” he said. “They killed her , she did nothing wrong and they killed her.” His fit was tightly closed. “who?” you asked. “Her name was mina.” he said. “she was my first love, it was supposed to be a robbery, we both were supposed to be out, but she didn't feel like it , so she stayed.”

“So you sold your soul like Jake?” you asked. “But he isn't a slave?” he scoffed. “If you think watching the love of your life die for the past 100 years is considered good , then you're just as crazy as I thought.” He said. “I didn't sell my soul , I died and went to hell.” he said. “After they killed her , I went crazy; I wanted revenge.” he said. “So I found them , all of them— and I killed them,” he said. “But you said they were trying to rob you, so they were not innocent.”

“they weren't, but there was this rage inside , I killed everyone in that house that night; including myself,” he said. “when I got to hell , he forced me to live through killing 2 innocent people and myself and over.” he said. “until I was begging on my knees for him to stop.” he said. “I told him I'd do anything.” and he turned me into a demon, and sent me here, forced to live out eternity as a slave for the people to whoever found that necklace, in the house I killed those people in.”

“So you killed her?” you asked. “When I'm told to do something, it's like I can't control my body— she forced me to kill an innocent person,” he said. “I was punished that night, he said if I ever killed any innocent person again I would be punished,” he said. “how were you punished?” “That's not important.” He said. “After that I thought she'd stop , then I started hearing her thoughts about killing her caregiver. Her caregiver had a child , 2 daughters and no husband, and she wanted me to kill her, for no reason. I couldn't wait until she told me and I couldn't stop , so I had to do it.” he said , staring off into space. “I had to kill her , so no one else got hurt,” he said, before staring at you. “You look like her when she was younger, I guess I really just hated her that bad.” you didn't say anything, just sat there in silence.

“don't look at me like that,” he said. “with pity, I don't want your pity.” He stood up. “I only told you so you'd stop asking jake.” He said. “I don't need your sympathy.” You sat up fully. “I wasn't going give you any.” You said. “You still tried to kill me.” You said. “and how do i know you aren't lying , demons don't really have a good track record of being truthful.” he grew frustrated, lifting his shirt up. “because this is what happened when I killed your grandfather.” Three long scratches on his chest. “This is what happens when I kill an innocent person.”

“yo-you can't heal them?” he huffed. “don't you think I would if I could?” he scoffed. “What the hell am I doing here? explaining myself to you.” he went to walk away. “no.” you said. “sit down.” He looked at you with anger on his face. “I said sit down.” he moved to the bed, sitting down. “I don't want to be here with you.” He said. “Too bad, because I'm not letting you leave , and I'm keeping the necklace on.” before you could say anything else, he was yanking your legs down , pinning them to the bed. “Fine then I'll do what I came here to do in the first place, the real reason you keep thinking about me.” he climbed on top of you. “to fuck you.”

he pulled down your sleep shorts , leaving you in your underwear. “open your fucking legs.” he growled , pulling your underwear down. “so fucking wet , do you get off on the fact that I don't like you?” you smirked. “wipe that smirk off your face before I shove my dick back down your throat.” his eyes were red , but filled with lust; not anger. “Please , you enjoy that more than I did, I remember you moaning and groaning too well.” He gripped your cheeks. “slut.”

Slapping the inside of your thighs, holding them open. “God you're dripping, you want me to fuck you that bad?” He pulled his cock from his pants. “just hurry up and fuck me.” he roughly shoved himself inside you, both of you moaning out. “shit!” he moaned, moving his hips , holding down your waist , keeping you still as he abused your cunt. “tight fucking cunt , sucking in my cock like a slut.” his hand coming up to your neck. “fu-fuck , please faster.” You moaned , his hips speeding up.

you were so close to cumming, you could feel it— then you felt him slip out of you. “Kee— I know what you're doing, trying to get your way.” he said. “I will gag you to keep that mouth shut if I have to.” he flipped you over; your ass up in the air, pushing your head in the pillow. “stop trying to tell me what to do.” he slammed back into you , you tell as he slapped your ass. “Just shut up and take my cock.”

his movements were lethal; his hip snapping against your ass , watching it bounce back. “fuck sunghoon.” You screamed. “Please let me cum.” he moaned. “fuck, fuck go ahead cum.” he squeezed your ass. “cum all over my cock.” your legs shook as you came , eyes rolling to the back of your head as he fucked you through your orgasm. “shit I'm gonna cum , I'm gonna cum inside.” He groaned , “take my fucking cum.” you felt his cum filling you up , his hips twitching as he came. “sh-shit.” he pulled out of you.

“I'm not gonna make you murder anyone.” You said. “I don't think I ever wanted anyone dead.” he looked at you. “Well there was talia in second grade who took my pink crayon.” You thought about it further. “and a few of my ex's , but I wouldn't act on it or force someone else to do it.” you said. “and how do I know that?” He said. “you have to trust me, just how I have to trust that you won't snap and kill me.” You said. “you’re safe for now,” he said. “I can live with that.” you said. “but the next time you ever try to tell me what to do when im fucking you, I will gag you.” you rolled your eyes. “whatever.”

“I'm leaving,” he said. “Jake should be here soon , and I don't want to see him right after this , he'll be sulky for days.” you smiled. “he's cute isn't he?.” he scrunched his nose in disgust. “no, no he is not.” you pouted , then spoke up. “was it you?” you asked. “what are you talking about?” he said. “The one in the mirror on my first with the necklace?” he laughed. “the last thing that day wasn't fucking you or seeing you naked.” he said. “It was murdering you.”

“asshole.” you said, he smirked. “it was jay.” He said. “jay, jake told me he hasn't shown himself for the past 200 years.” he shrugged.

“i guess you're special , congratulations.”

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