#ngl i’ve been pessimistic but now…

[chuluoyi]

GUYS GUYS THEY SAID GOJO’S BODY IS TAKEN BACK TO SHOKO —which is why he disappeared then

[joker-daughter]

Small (or long LoL) little rant : I'm gonna sound dramatic and really negative but it's hard to hope for "better things" for him right now..

I've been a fan of him (as the actor first! celeb second) for almost 7 years now. And unfortunately, I don't think he's gonna get the career he should have in my honest / but yes, probably biased / opinion. Maybe a complete change will happen in the next 5-10 years, idk. But he doesn't seem to get the phonecalls and opportunities that he deserves, from non-franchises things (I'm sick of anything SM or Uncharted related, personally). Whos fault is that ? I would say it's a mix of his team not forcing (yes, forcing because what on earth are they doing ?!) him to be out there, the general bias people (and when I say people I mean within the industry) have against him or more generally superhero actors, and obviously, Tom himself because, as much as I love his acting, I'm not that confident in his personal taste in projects.

And it's frustrating, because even with the poorest material they could find, there's still, and always, something so brilliant about his performances. He's a natural, he's actually a natural in soooo many genres and tones, it's a crime that it's not being used.

I'm afraid he'll either stay in the comfort of the franchises bland roles (not because he wants to, but because nothing better will be offered to him) or just give up and go back to a regular life. And before anyone use his own words against me : I know he said himself that he don't see himself be an actor for the rest of his life, and want to stay lowkey. I read all the interviews. And I know I'm no one and as long as he's happy with how things are goings, it's okay. YES, but as someone who enjoy him as an actor, I still think complains and frustration are valid 💀 Anyway I just hope that a dream meeting or collaboration is on the way, something that will change everything. That could be FA being eye opening for him AND the audience, or somethign completely different. Something, anything

anon sending me this and then that interview drops lmao I know I said I have thoughts to share with you regarding all of this but I honestly don’t even know what to say anymore lol at this point I’m leaving it to God 😭 like I’m neither hopeful nor pessimistic, if anyone wants to share their thoughts, my inbox welcomes you

About this part tho:

“But he doesn't seem to get the phonecalls and opportunities that he deserves, from non-franchises things […] nothing better will be offered to him”

ngl I said/thought this once too, I can’t say it is 100% what is happening in reality (and I hope it’s not)…I’ve said this before but something is telling me to not say too much now and wait a little longer (even if the patience is running thin lol) so we’ll see

[cloudcountry]

Here comes the fanfic TWST ramble, and I say this threateningly 🫵 /J

But yeah!! As I’ve mentioned before, my fic plays off one of the more popular theories in the TWST fandom. This theory is that whenever the main character ‘Yuu’, dies, they then get replaced with a new Yuu. This new Yuu then has to go through the events of the game again, starting from the beginning. This loop of events repeat until a Yuu survives all of the events, overblots and all. The Reader (who I’m going to call Loop!Reader-) is the final ‘Yuu’, and they’re the one who ends the loop.

Admittedly, I wanted Loop!Reader to be clearly different from the Yuu in the game. However, I mainly used TWST’s light novel iteration (Yes, there’s an official light novel of TWST. I was shocked too) of Yuu, Yuuya Kuroki, as a base for inspiration. While Yuuya is almost painfully introverted and gives off the vibes of a soaking wet cat (sorry Yuuya- He really needs a hug-), Loop!Reader is very energetic, extroverted, flamboyant, and vibrant. She’s popular in school and has a large friend group. Her exuberance and liveliness may seem a bit overwhelming at times, but she really is a nice person! Whenever she’s in a conversation or outing, she makes sure no one feels left out and tries to involve everyone. And instead of coming from Japan like Yuu and their other iterations, Loop!Reader comes from America and is of Spanish descent.

Let me give a quick synopsis:

The story itself starts off with Loop!Reader mulling over the fact that it’s been almost a year since her best friend Rosalie’s disappearance. But she can’t dwell on it for long because she has to go play in a baseball tournament, and her team has to go against another team that they have some animosity with. Both her and her baseball team go all out, and they win, though just barely! While Loop!Reader is waiting for the rest of her team, she hears a cry, turns around just in time to see horses pulling a black carriage charging at her, and everything goes black. When she wakes up, she’s thrust into the world of Twisted Wonderland with seemingly no way home. As time goes on however, she starts getting odd dreams about her missing best friend…

Ngl, the fish facts you gave reminded me of the nicknames Floyd gives to others! In case of Loop!Reader, I’ll be honest, I’m having a bit of trouble coming up with one- So far, I was thinking he could call her either Swordfish or Sailfish, mainly because Loop!Reader is an incredibly fast runner. But neither of those sound as cute or catchy as Shrimpy in my opinion, so I’m a little bit stuck,, 

Oh, but speaking of nicknames!! One time I jokingly made Loop!Reader call Azul, ‘Azulito’ in some practice dialogue where she was teasing him, and I thought I would never use that nickname again. I was wrong. Loop!Reader calls Malleus, ‘Cuernitos,’ which means ‘little horns’ in Spanish-

I’m pretty excited to write for Loop!Reader!! Her expressive personality paired up with the wide cast of TWST is definitely going to be interesting >:] *cough* The newfound Azul lover genes in me are vibrating and are already trying to think of scenarios with him and Loop!Reader 🧍‍♂️ 

And for the fun of it, I made a quick list of ship dynamics with Loop!Reader and some of the TWST characters-:

Azul and Loop!Reader —> Conniving Bastard (/aff) x Popular Drama Queen

Riddle and Loop!Reader —> No-nonsense x Free Spirit

Floyd and Loop!Reader —> >:] x ;)

Ace and Loop!Reader —> “Only I can make fun of them!” (Goes both ways-)

Malleus and Loop!Reader —> Loves listening x Talks all the time

Jamil and Loop!Reader —> Over it™ x Drama Queen

Idia and Loop!Reader —> Pessimist x Optimist

And also for the heck of it,,, have some random snippets I wrote randomly trying to get a feel on how to write Loop!Reader’s character—

~~~

(Name) wanted to bury her head in her hands and scream. Why were all the boys she’s met by now in Night Raven College so stupidly attractive, and why couldn’t the boys at her own school be like them?

~~~

“So someone showed up today, and they were pretty, uh...” (Name) trailed off, but the way she smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear gave Grim the message. 

He stuck out his tongue in disgust. “Henchman, get it together!��

~~~

(Some context: This is the aftermath of Loop!Reader bumping into Malleus for the first time-)

“Grim,” (Name) hissed, gently trying to shake the grey creature awake. “Grim, get up!”

“No, my tuna-- Bwah? Huh?” Grim blinked groggily. “Henchman? What’s happening?”

“Grim, you will not believe what just happened.” (Name) kept her voice low, but her eyes were wide with anticipation.

“What?” Grim said, still groggy from sleep. He rubbed his eyes.

“I just met the most beautiful man in the world two minutes ago. Like, for real.”

Grim stared at her with tired eyes, clearly unimpressed. “You woke me up for this? I was dreaming about mountains of tuna… And anyway, didn’t you say the same thing about those other two guys?”

“Okay, the other OTHER most beautiful man,” (Name) cut herself with a sharp shake of her head. “But that’s beside the point! I just went out for a quick walk outside and I bump into the most gorgeous man I’ve EVER seen. Great hair, amazing eyes, handsome face. I didn’t catch his name though, he didn’t want to tell me.”

“Huh,” Grim looked at her with squinted eyes. “What was he doing all the way out here?”

(Name) shrugged. “Something about abandoned ruins? I think he was taking a look around here.” The girl’s eyes widened when a thought struck her. “So he’s gorgeous…” She whispered conspiratorially, a small smile dusting her lips. “And kind of a nerd. One of the best combinations.”

“Uh-huh, sure…” Grim nestled back onto his spot on the bed, trying to go back to sleep. “You owe me some extra tuna for waking me up, henchman.”

“Hey!”

~~~

All in all, I’m pretty excited to write it!! Loop!Reader is fun to write, and I like making her interact with other characters >:D

Jackdaw Anon 🐦

WAIT YEA I KNOW THAT THEORY!!!!!! THATS S O COOL?? I LOVE THAT CONCEPT SO MUCH...IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE SUPER ANGSTY aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA!!! also i love the contrast between them omg jhasfdhgasfd

dont worry about the name not being catchy!!! honestly ive gotten into the habit of assigning fish and rocks to peoples ocs and even people themselves sometimes (like how i call my mutuals angelfish, piranha, sea walnut, etc!!) so juts have fun with it!!!! :D

THOS ENICKNAMES ARE SUPER CUTE TOO I LOVE THEM :(((

[mikareo]

HIII HIII DOVE !!! js saw you were doing matchups,, sooo excited cs i’ve never done this before >.<

࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 fandom: blue lock !!

desired gender/age: a guy pleaseee <3 not really picky on age tbh, 16-17 probably

࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 personality traits: high achiever & hopeless romantic. really really introverted but chatty and unfiltered around ppl i’m close to ( ngl i say the wildest things ). open minded also a really good listener ‘n really loyal. creative, patient but i can also be pessimistic and mean i think? only happens when i’m overwhelmed tho && i’m an infp and a sagittarius

fave hobbies + activities: drawing, painting, reading books & manga, watching anime, rom-coms and k-dramas, gamingg (literally been on fortnite and valo all week 😭). baking, cooking, listening to music. also love going on runs/walks

࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 ideal first date/dream date: all of my first dates are at the cinema which sucks cus you can’t really get to know each other then, so something fun like an arcade or js walking around the mall and looking through bookstores or going to pop-up festivals and getting street food!!

thank youuuu <3 hope this is enough to work with!!

💌 ✮⋆˙ love letter to...y2kuromi!

...this was...so hard...like...i rlly rlly hope you like this character LOL it's ok if u don't tho,, he's a little silly sometimes. i hope ur doing well mimi and that ur weekend was fun!!! i rlly wanted this matchup to be perfect for ur personality set,, n i think you'd get along w this chara nicely :)

[ ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ ᰔ ] your personality matchup results!

congratulations . . .‧₊˚🪩✩REO MIKAGE₊˚🫧⊹♡

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ chemistry analysis . . .

to be so honest, making a decision on who to match you with took me a lot longer than it usually does. i went though so many options— hiori, kunigami, chigiri, nagi— and none of them fit in the way that i wanted them to. whenever i'd try to pair traits and interests, everything felt really forced and that's the last thing i want to when doing a personality pairing; but eventually i landed on reo! i think you and reo fit together very very well, and i'm pretty confident on that!

one thing that you and reo can mutually relate, is your need to achieve. you're both extremely ambitious people and when you have a goal, there's no stopping you until you reach it. reo knows that you understand that obsession and crave for success. he doesn't feel judged when he's overly passionate about something and talks about it for hours on end, knowing that you're listening to every word he says with an open mind. most people think he's crazy for believing he and nagi can be kings of the football world, but you don't think that. you don't think that at all. if anything, you're right next to him cheering him on; while also giving him a few small reality checks along the way.

for the most part, hopeless romance isn't something that reo thinks about. typically, girls fawn over him due to his parent's money, only wanting to become a rich heiress without actually liking reo for his real personality; they prefer his phony one. you, however, introduce him to the truth that there can be love without manipulation or falseness. you show him how little gestures matter and that he shouldn't waste his time on people who aren't patient enough to see him as he really is. there is a potential love story in reo's book and you're the only one who can start the next chapter and help him read on.

now, you have many hobbies that reo isn't necessarily extremely interested in; but that's not an issue. the thing is with reo, is that he loves to get involved in the things his loved ones enjoy— if you have a hyperfixation on a video game, kdrama, or musician, he's right there beside you to listen or watch along. he loves to splurge on you; aka: taking you out on any kind of date your heart desires and buying you anything you have your eye on— and he's such a doting boyfriend that you can't help but love him for his obsession with making you happy. you've taught reo how to love something other than a hobby, and he's going to show you how thankful he is for that every day.

[ambrosialdesire]

are you retaking the class you were failed in during the summer or in the fall semester? i’m ngl you’re a lot stronger than me cuz if that shit happened to me i’d be kms 😭😭😭 - 🎀

yup i’m taking it again in like two weeks? they told me that i’ll get the schedule next week since they put me back in immediately 💀 but now my graduation is sorta delayed into dec 2025 instead of aug 2025 so there’s that consequence unfortunately

NAH CAUSE I ALREADY ACCEPTED MY FATE THE DAY I WOKE UP LATE SO I HAD A LOT OF TIME TO PROCESS + I CRIED MY HEART OUT WHEN THEY FINALLY TOLD ME I FAILED THAT CLASS but having my cohort back me up while i was dealing with my emotions that whole week, even though i only knew them for a few months, really helped too, they’re a great support system fr (which is hella important since yk how some medical field students can be rude and entitled for some goddamn reason)

idk for some reason, i just keep pushing forwards despite what life constantly throws at me to put me back down. i don’t think i’ve ever been really pessimistic or had a completely negative attitude when it comes to certain things that happen to me, i’ve always had this optimistic and laidback outlook that everything will always going to be better the next time around, something like that lol

[the-kettle-whistles]

i’m back at it again with bougie bois incorrect quotes but randomized in a generator (first post)

(image IDs under the cut)

(i’ve been waiting forever to find a version of that last one with bakugou screaming lol)

guys--shut up--they’re communicating (though it could also work with momo and baku making noises at each other)

iida got a pretty cute smile tho (ngl, they all have really nice smiles i cant--)

[image 1]

Todoroki, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy and I liked it

Momo, whispering: Should we call an exorcist?

Bakugou, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick

Iida, appalled: Call the exorcist

[image 2]

Todoroki: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel

Momo: An optimist sees light at the end the tunnel

Iida: A realist sees a freight train

Bakugou: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks

[image 3]

Momo: *tapping fingers on the table*

Iida: *tapping fingers back furiously*

Bakugou: ...What’s going on?

Todoroki: Morse code. They’re talking

Momo: -.--.. - .-. / - .... . / -.-. ..- - . ... -

Iida: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK

[image 4]

Bakugou: You know, you can die from that

Momo: *smoking a cigarette* That’s the point

Iida: *drinking alcohol* We’re trying to speed this up

Todoroki: *eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

[image 5]

Momo: *gasp*

Iida: wHAT??

Momo: What if soy milk is just introducing itself in Spanish?

Iida: *inhales*

Bakugou, in the next room with Todoroki: Why do I hear screaming?

[image 6]

Bakugou: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

Bakugou: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Momo: Um... what’s up with him?

Iida: He’s trying to yell mental health and well being into all of us

Todoroki, crying: It’s working

[image 7]

Todoroki and Momo: *making loud shouty gorilla noises at each other*

Iida:

Bakugou, exasperatedly: We have a guest

[image 8]

Bakugou: What’s up with Momo? She’s been laying on the floor for... an hour now?

Todoroki: She’s just a little overwhelmed

Bakugou: Why?

Todoroki: Iida smiled at her

[image 9]

Todoroki: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Iida: Put spaghetti in it

Todoroki: I’m taking suggestions from everyone but you

Momo: Put spaghetti in it

Todoroki: I’m taking suggestions from everyone but these two

Bakugou: Put spaghetti in it

Todoroki: I’m no longer taking suggestions

[image 10]

*the gang in a horror film*

Todoroki: I’ve got no service in my phone here

Momo: Shoot, my battery just died

Bakugou: Sorry guys, I just broke mine with a hammer

Iida: Guys, my phone is a book

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 28: 3x05 Is There In Truth No Beauty?

Several days later, coming back to write up these Star Trek notes. I feel like I never got to talk this episode through properly, or even think through it properly by myself, because mom went right into watching AHS on Thursday, and I was too tired to even sort through my thoughts and when we talked yesterday, it was… entirely about other things.

So, here at least are my liveblog thoughts, and maybe I’ll remember some more as I write.

Right off the bat, this is such a cool concept: the friendly alien Ambassador who no one can look at because his form is not fit for human eyes.

Love Spock’s silly looking little visor. Not sure I get why he’s wearing it right now, when the Ambassador is in his box, but okay.

Dr. Jones is so beautiful. I love her dress.

I’m sure Spock is thinking “If only all Ambassadors could be put into little boxes like this.”

Okay, Ambassador’s coming! Everybody quarantine!

Right, I JUST remembered the significance of the dress.

Spock has experience with mind links with other creatures—a lot of experience that ho. Is he thinking about the pleasure of connecting to Kirk, that “dynamic individual”?

“My life is here.” With the Captain???

I feel like this episode is implying, all but stating outright, that Spock is very good at mindlinking. Like maybe even more so than the average Vulcan. Which makes sense because he does it so often. And yet he still messes up with AOS!Kirk.

I love the effects for the Ambassador. I’m not even being sarcastic; I think they get across the experience of looking at him quite effectively.

Hmmm, some non-touch telepathy. I know Spock has a little of that. I guess it’s mostly him reacting to Miranda, though.

Gotta get a dig in at Dr. McCoy before he leaves lol. Spock, so predictable.

Kirk’s flirting is off the charts today omg. Tone it down man.

SCOTTY IN A KILT aw yeah.

She learned from the Vulcans how not to read thoughts. Exactly!! Their telepathy is such an underrated part of the whole Vulcan thing, including why they remain ‘emotionless.’

She’s so jealous of Spock.

Honestly this whole scene… there’s a lot going on here! I’m trying to pay attention to the Vulcan telepath stuff but the men won’t stop flirting at 11. Especially McCoy, laying it on extra thick.

She does hold her own very well, though.

A preference for beauty—one of our last prejudices.

“Sleep well.” So cute. (I’ve already forgotten but I’m pretty sure this is Kirk.)

“We’re all vulnerable in one way or another.” KIRK SHUT UP I LOVE YOU.

Girls don’t like guys, girls like Medusan ambassadors.

This guy is so jealous. I barely know who he is lol; this comes out of nowhere.

Interesting angle on the hallway shot. I feel like there are a lot of those in this ep, like these weirdly long shots of the hallways… Maybe I’m just not used to seeing them with one or no people in them.

Kirk and the squad. Work work fashion baby.

“Larry? Marvick? Why?” Okay that is some real Shatnerian inflection there.

SCOTTY FIGHT SCENE.

*Ship veers obviously*

And look at this weird-ass view of the bridge. Like what the hell, where is the camera? On the lift? It’s so disorienting!

Spock needs to fix some stuff, calls for his protégé Chekov, of course.

And this funky music. So bizarre.

WE’LL BE SAFE AT THE BOUNADIRES OF THE UNIVERSE. Drama queen

This is a nutty view, this “unknown void.” Like one would think beyond space there’s… just more space, not a Windows 98 screensaver.

Space time continuum?? They didn’t time travel (again), did they?

“He just simply died.” How convenient.

“An entertaining suggestion, Mr. Chekov, but not very helpful.” Honestly, I do think he’s entertained. Spock has grown so much over the course of the show.. like I know there was controversy with his IC-ness this season but in this case, I really do think it is growth. Compare this to the Corbomite Maneuver, where he had a sense of humor but it was… a little mean, a little arch. There’s a certain warmth to him now.

Her mind must be so engaged that she doesn’t notice the plan for Spock to meld with the Ambassador = Kirk will seduce her. Lol. Of course. Everyone’s favorite honeypot.

He has absolutely NO shame.

The man sure does love his flowers, though.

She’s never been to Earth. So she’s a human born on a colony, I guess? That’s such a throwaway line, but so interesting. Could that be part of how she’s telepathic?

Oh no! A thorn!

“Violent emotion is a kind of insanity.” Can I steal this?

Too ugly to bear or too beautiful to bear?

Let me spell it out for you: this is romantic. (Again, I’ve forgotten what this refers to, but I’m going to assume it’s something Kirk said.)

Lol Bones just dropping truth bombs. How did he know she was blind? Did he recognize the dress or does he have access to her files as the ship’s doctor?

And Kirk accepts it immediately. “Of course! It’s the only reasonable explanation as to why you weren’t attracted to me.”

The Ambassador is brought to the bridge and placed behind a covid wall, I mean, protective barrier.

And now, we meet the Ambassador for real.

“THAT’s Spock!” Bones is so happy. He’s really not comfortable with Spock being all… smiley and flirty. Or rather, someone in Spock’s body, I should say.

Kollos is VERY flirty. And he and Miranda have chemistry for sure. It’s weird, because I don’t get any sense of that between her and Spock (rightly so) but Spock as the Ambassador and it comes right out.

I love the characterization of him. The idea that the Medusans’ thoughts are supposed to be particularly nice to engage with…. I really see how that would be. He’s so soothing.

Kollos is enjoying his time in a human body, I think. Mostly. Not all of it. (I got a little teary at the part about loneliness, ngl.)

Time to go back? So soon?

Noooo the shield! It’s like forgetting your mask when you enter a building.

[Spock wails]

Honestly, even seeing the steps to the upper level of the bridge is really weir. Like, I’ve always known there are steps there… but I’ve never thought about what they look like.

Kirk is so skeptical about all of this. Spock is in danger and his brain immediately goes to the pessimistic scenarios—very unlike him!

He’s freaking out nervous.

“Are we supposed to wake him with a kiss?” Idk, it’s worth a try. Why doesn’t Kirk give it a go?

Does Kirk have a game plan with Miranda here, or is he just honestly freaking out?

…The answer is honestly freaking out, which is rather a disappointment.

Trippy.

Spock has a necklace version of the IDIC symbol this time.

Everyone’s exchanging all these highly formulaic, formal goodbyes and Kirk’s like “Peace.” Wow, really trying hard with that one. Still rattled, I guess.

Also speaking of these formulaic exchanges—this fits very well with the HAICG-verse. Just saying.

This episode was really good! I loved Miranda, I am a huge fan of the underlying sci fi concept, and I though the Spock characterization and the hints of Vulcan culture were very interesting (and very in keeping with my own characterization and world building, imo).

The only thing I didn’t like was Kirk’s characterization. He felt like a stereotype, like who AOS thought TOS Kirk was, rather than himself—the over the top flirting, the dramatic rage, how he didn’t really seem in control of anything or on his game at all.

But, even though he’s my fave, the interesting Spock characterization made up for that, and I really appreciated these insights into him, interacting with someone who, while not Vulcan herself, had a Vulcan cultural background, someone he approached similarly to how he would one of his own people. It was very polite but with a lot of unsaid beneath the surface, which is how I imagine Vulcans are.

The introduction of IDIC truly was pretty random! I did like the idea of Spock trying to compliment her and not really landing it, because that’s just the awkward nerd sort of thing he would do. But it’s weird that the phrase has never been introduced before, and also that even within this episode, it’s only obliquely explained.

I’m not actually sure if I’ve seen the next ep or not. I don’t think so, but it’s possible I did and just don’t remember it very well…

[maerenee930]

random thoughts/rambling.

i don’t expect anyone to read this rambling nonsense and mess. i just need to get some thoughts and feelings out.

please feel free to keep scrolling.

just a head up, i’m kinda talking about my mental state and just not necessarily low self esteem, just- feeling not great.

tw/cw: i do mention self harm. but i’m not talking about harming myself. i just mention it and wanted to say something because i completely realize not having a warning can be very triggering.

for a little over a week now, i’ve tried to write something like this over and over again. and every time i do or start to, i stop myself. i put it in my drafts and when i go back to finish it and reread what i wrote i delete it. i worry about what anyone would think reading what i’ve been thinking about and how i’ve been feeling. i’m really worried that this is just going to look like i trying to get attention. 😣😓 and i’m worried that i’m gonna annoy everyone and look like this hugely pathetic and over emotional baby. i’m worried that this is coming off as that i’m doing this so someone will pity me.

that’s not my intention at all. i’m not looking for sympathy or pity. i’m not looking for someone to comfort me. i’m not looking for attention. i just need to get some thoughts and feelings out.

and i’m having a really hard time bringing myself to write all of this in my journal. it’s like seeing everything i’m feeling written down, it just hurts more. i completely realize that doesn’t make sense and i’m sorry it doesn’t. it’s like seeing that i wrote all of that down and seeing my feelings written down just messes with me mentally and emotionally and makes me feel worse about myself. idk how else to explain it. i’m so sorry 😓

so, now that i’ve rambled enough as it is…

you ever have those days where even though you love yourself so much, you feel so proud of who you are and the person you’ve become, that you feel unlovable? like just very unwanted and unlovable.

like you’re not just content with who you are, what you look like and who you’ve become and despite the low mental and emotional days, you do truly, honestly and genuinely love yourself. you recognize and understand your flaws, try to be objective and want to learn and grow from them. you realize that you don’t see yourself the way others do and you’ve accepted that you probably won’t.

not in a pessimistic way, you just know that you’re not supposed to see yourself the way others do. that’s what makes each relationship (platonic or romantic) so unique. you try to work on how you see yourself and learn how to love you. but know you’re not working on yourself to see you the way others do, you’re doing it to just see yourself in a different light and learn to give yourself the love you’re more than deserving and worthy of 🖤

but despite all of that, i feel unlovable and unwanted. i don’t understand how i can love myself and at the same time feel unlovable and unwanted. it just doesn’t make sense to me. idk, maybe it’s just me feeling lonely and it’s getting to me. just lately, with the exception of like a few people who have been kind enough to reassure me and remind me that i am loved and wanted, i feel like i’m in everyone’s way.

i feel like i’m annoying everyone and everyone would be so much better off if i just took a step back and left everyone alone. i feel like everyone would be better off without me.

please know that i’m not talking about harming myself. i just mean like if i physically left. like packed up my stuff and just left. idk where i’d go but just go somewhere. you know?

i don’t feel like i’m important or special to anyone.

i told my mom not even a half an hour ago that idk how to convey all of this to anyone else without feeling like i sound stupid. idk how to ask people to reassure me that they want me in their life without asking. cause to me, that’s super annoying, obnoxious and stupid of me to even want to do that.

i just feel like a fucking mess 😅🤦‍♀️

i realize btw, there are people who like me and care about me. and i fully realize and know that these thoughts and feelings aren’t facts. i just- i just don’t feel wanted by anyone right now. i feel like i’m this big annoyance and just feel like everyone wants me to leave them alone or wishes i would be quiet and not bother them. i feel like i’m not lovable.

and there have been some things this past week that have partly made me feel this way. and i finally started my period so i understand that’s not helping anything. but… idk… this is just how i’m feeling right now. and i really needed to get it out.

i’m not expecting this to make any sense to anyone. i’m not even expecting anyone to actually read this, tbh. but i just need to feel like i’ve had my feelings heard even if no one reads this. it’s just literally to make myself feel better.

i’m sorry for how all of this sounds and i sincerely apologize for how whiny i sound. i’m ngl, i’m embarrassed about feeling like this. and i’m annoyed with myself for sounding and being so needy right now. 😣🤦‍♀️😓

i feel like i have more i want to say, but all of it is just kind of bouncing around on my head with a million other thoughts and it’s a jumbled mess.

i’m so so sorry. i just am really very sorry for putting all of this on here and for how i’m coming off or across.

thank you to anyone who had read all of this. it means more than you can even begin to imagine 💙🖤

[yunatheintrovert]

I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your works. Like I genuinely can not say how much I adore it. Im a selfish lonely bitch so I usually focus on reader inserts but like... the stories abt yours and zombie-nymphs oc's have me hooked (love that you reblog posts tagged w/ them too.) I don't mean any disrespect to other writers, I'm just picky as hell. (You're also my fav CoD writer, I've read a lot of fics on this site and very few capture the character AND feelings of the series) Honestly, you're one of the reasons I'm thinking of going back into writing. I could go on and on but I'm terrible w/ words and I dont want to be a bother. I just wanna say thank you so much for sharing your works with us. I look forward to more stuff, and if you decide not to post, thank you for sharing what you have <3

Awww thank you so much, anon!!! Honestly, this has got to be the sweetest anon ask I’ve ever gotten. This really means a lot especially since I’ve been having a hard time writing with how tired I am and me feeling pessimistic about my writing. 

I also appreciate that you find me and zombie-nymph’s OCs to be interesting! I don’t usually expect those who see my blog to take much interest in Maxim Rykov (my oc) since it’s a divergence from what I usually write. But alas I have gotten hooked into making content for my oc, Maxim Rykov, and talking about him with my friend, zombie-nymph. So I’m glad you don’t seem to mind me making OC content! 

And it definitely means a lot to me that you think I capture the character and feelings of the series! The main full COD game that I’ve played and gotten into has pretty much only been BOCW. Despite my inexperience with the franchise, I’m glad you think I can capture those aspects in my writing. 

And it makes me happy that I can inspire you a bit to consider going back into writing! I definitely hope you go back into writing! I am always here for quality writing in this fandom. Also, no worries, anon! I’m also rather terrible with words right now. I bet I sound quite awkward normally ngl. And you’d never be a bother to me! This is the sweetest and most wholesome anon ask I’ve ever gotten and it honestly made my week. Please always feel more than free to send anon asks. I love interacting with anons (even though my responses may be delayed at times) and those who see my blog. 

Also, I definitely will be posting more content! It just may be a bit more sporadic and focusing on OC content more so, to be honest. I partially blame zombie-nymph (in a good way) for that since they’ve only been encouraging me more and more to create content for Maxm. 

Ngl, this ask really has made me more motivated than ever to focus more on writing content, no matter how negative I feel about my writing. 

[damienthepious]

did you say,, talking about the new scattered chapter👀 (real talk I had such a hard time picking just one bit my friend, this chapter was so freaking GOOD omg) but how about the Damien giving Arum the knife at the end of the duel? Cause that WRECKED me so good

[Pick a short passage from any fanfic I’ve written specifically Scattered On My Shore today I’m being picky, and send it to me, and I’ll give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet]

hgfjgfjj THANK U......... okay. okay. that whole part. mmmmmmmm so I knew this duel was gonna happen.... for a while? this was in like, my mental skeletal structure of this fic since... mmmmaybe halfway through? but that specific beat... just kind of happened, when i was writing this out.

[Damien's grip loosens, and when Arum blinks his eyes back open Damien's own eyes are wide and shocked, his cheeks darkening as his heart stumbles. Arum can hear that heart, can hear the way Damien swallows, then, as well.] Okay so Damien was expecting... he was expecting, if Arum actually gave him an answer to question number two, for him to say something a little more... rather, a little less poetic, maybe? what Arum wants from them... it’s exactly what Damien wants, too. He talked about his stability with Rilla, and how it felt like Arum had been slipping into that, had been folded into their comfort. It makes Damien’s heart fucking swell, that Arum wants something so simple, so layered, so warm with them. And that he said “seated at your sides,” plural, too. Damien feels so fucking close to exactly what he wants, so fucking close to exactly what can make all of them happy. He’s so close to it, and he wants it so badly, and he has a moment, where he recognizes how precarious this is. He does not want to mess this up, now. Arum is not privy to this, exactly. All he knows is that Damien is responding strongly, to the desire he’s admitted.

["Oh," Damien says, too soft. "Oh, Saint Damien, your Tranquility, now when most I need-" he inhales, exhales with a smile, and then he drops the knife away from Arum's throat.] He had already stopped pinning Arum. The knife was only near his throat, already. But this is obviously a Choice. Damien was trying to think, how can I prove to him that he can speak his heart safely, with us? with me?

["Wh-what are you-"] Arum, again, is instantly thrown by anything other than violence. Still. He has precisely zero evidence that Damien is actually going to kill him, and in fact Damien has made it abundantly clear that he wouldn’t and doesn’t want to, but Arum is a pessimist to the extreme. He will expect to be hurt, first. It won’t surprise him, then. It won’t disappoint him.

[Damien holds the blade out, hilt first, and presses it into Arum's palm.] ... fuck.

first, this is a really visceral point of contact for me. i can. feel this? I can actively feel knife-hilt-pressing-into-palm. can just Feel That. Second, Damien is proving his trust. Damien is proving himself safe. This is also the second time Damien has chosen to hand this blade over to this monster.

["There is one more question before you," Damien murmurs as Arum's fingers curl around the metal,] Rilla asked, how do you feel about me? And the question was... clumsy, but blunt. Arum almost belligerently failed to answer. Also, Arum holds the knife, when Damien passes it to him. He could have dropped it, instead. He doesn’t.

[and though he is no longer pinning the monster against the trunk of the tree behind him, the poet is still close, is still crowding Arum with his heat and his scent and the rhythm of his heart.] ngl i love playing with Arum’s non-human senses. also uhhhhh Arum and Damien haven’t actually... had a lot of physical contact, in this au? the first two duels were echoed much more gently in the ‘sleepovers’ in the early chapters, which was entirely verbal sniping (not counting the whole... blanket trade to echo the cloth-for-cloth exchange from canon). The most physical contact they’ve had since then was the night Marc came, when Rilla had Damien move Arum from room to room, when Arum bandaged his hand, when Damien came back and chose to help Arum back to bed. When Damien held his hand in the dark until he fell asleep again. And Damien doesn’t know how long Arum held his hand after he was asleep again, doesn’t know how long the monster watched him, contemplated him, considered this little poet-knight who he knows, intellectually, is dangerous, but who looks so delicate, so soft, so compelling in the starlight...

RIGHT so. they are both pretty intensely affected by the closeness, here. And Damien isn’t backing away. He hands Arum a knife, and he doesn’t back away.

["I would hear your answer under no duress, if you choose to do so."] answer me again now that i can do you no harm.

[Damien seems so utterly unafraid of the blade that Arum now holds, the gleaming, newly sharpened edge that he holds close against Damien's collarbone.] and it’s not like Arum is threatening him- that’s just- where his hand is, where it was when Damien handed the knife to him.

[He is looking up into Arum's eyes, something in his expression nearly shy, and Arum-] Nearly shy because... well. Damien has been certain about this course of action, has been certain that Arum loves Rilla, and feels- something for him, as well. He wants this to work out, so fucking badly. And Arum? Arum is losing the duel he’s been internally holding with himself, too. How much he wants is starting to outweigh how afraid he is. And Damien is so close, and Arum’s been trying not to listen to what the knight has been saying, but- he’s very eloquent, very persuasive, isn’t he?

[Arum-] Could still throw them out. Could still just walk away. Could prove himself the monster that he is supposed to be, with the blade in his hand. Could do nearly anything, in truth.

... anything. And the most tempting of the options is also the most terrifying. He has a question to answer.

[Arum drops his hand, slipping the knife back into the sheath at Sir Damien's hip.] okay so maybe that’s just a little hot. shush. [Damien's breath catches again, his dark cheeks going even darker,] because ch’boy thinks so too [but Arum can only spare a hint of attention to that while he steels himself, while he clenches his teeth and inhales and lifts his head to look over Sir Damien's shoulder, to see Amaryllis where she stands.] Rilla asked. Arum knows that his feelings are- are complicated, are twined between the both of them.

(and that is an interesting consequence of this au happening with all three of them navigating around each other knowingly- the way their feelings develop is very... caught up in the whole duality? Part of what makes Damien fall in love with Arum is watching Arum fall in love with Rilla. Arum sees the affection between the two humans and it makes his ribcage ache. Watching Damien soften makes Rilla fall even more deeply for him, watching him grow and change and, eventually, come around to Tranquility and such a gentle peace with the situation- she loves Damien. And she loves this new Damien, this Damien that can learn from a monster, too- she loves him all the more. Each one looks at the other two and goes oh.)

But Rilla asked. He has to answer her, first.

THIS GOT REALLY LONG....... WHOOPS

[shvdxs]

i don’t know if i could ever go without

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i think im a great friend if i enjoy the presence, although my best friends ever i’ve known since a child but if i love my friends ill literally sacrifice anything for yall 

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? no because im repeating a lot of them rn and had to be reminded of how dumb i am

53. What have you learned the hard way? definitely 

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness?  humor ngl

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) i guess my style and the ratchet music i play

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? logical but its important to be creative

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? my entire stem career i’m a science queen

58. What is your ideal meal? guacamole and sushi.. or just alcohol

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? not be funny id fucking kill myself

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? cats and any kind of cat breed and species

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? can we actually enforce separation between state and church? because that would be sweet

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? ik people would call them “guilty” pleasures but as an unemotional emo bitch i love garbage rap and pop music that slaps

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? beans after dark

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? i mean i have a list but currently i have a switch so y’all can assume its smash and animal crossing

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? i wish i had smaller ribs

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? now that we’re in QUARANTINE 9:15

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? nightmare before christmas and yk its jack next question

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? city ez

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? very hard i love small cities in the mountains but the beach at sunset makes me feel a diff kinda way sis

70. What are the best things about winter? everything. no cons. goodnight.

71. What scares you most about the future? let’s not i have severe anxiety and panic disorder

72. What makes you feel old? tiktok

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? now that we’re stuck inside 8+ LMAO

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? i dont

75. What is your life story in 6 words? i have not been happy ever

76. Describe yourself in one word. passive

77. What bad habits do you do? let me chew my gum and eat my mints

78. What genre of music do you listen to? alternative, punk, indie, emo, idfk

79. Most prominent childhood memory? me stepping on a weed while running onto my slip n slide at my old house in maybe 2000

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? i hated him for a long time but now we’re fuckin homies and i’m grateful he gave me the best personality ever

81. Spirit animal? lynx

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? not entirely but i AM a pisces

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? those dumbass tiktoks that r like “im a small page so yk this is real, this is a sign that...” and its so generic but i still believed it

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. kevin, kyle, k8

85. Favorite memory of your family. cant pick i love my 3 immediate too much

86. What do you look for in a relationship? for them to leave me alone

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? cher and lana

88. What is your opinion on social media? i’ve had a complicated relationship

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? very pessimistic unfort but one study i had to remember for an exam said that although the pessimistic died earlier they were remembered more and gave more to their remaining family so that gave me hope

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? anything apple, any kind of transportation, college, coffee, nut butters

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? i’d rather NOT

92. What superpower would ruin the world? hard to say because any kind of power would destroy the world idc watch the incredibles

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? abuse drugs, drink, date people, become basic and i did all of those

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? stop being gullible because i am the most trusting person ever and im trying so hard not to be

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? anywhere in europe, south america, canada, new zealand, australia

96. How do you approach people? i dont

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? important, you have to be caring or hilarious to get my respect

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? listen to hannah montana

99. What languages can you speak? english, i can speak basic french and polish

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? with corona? recovering

[itsmeemeg-fandomsandfics]

People getting mad at Dan and Phill for the hiatus seriously need to stop. Your posts aren’t funny, or quirky, they’re annoying and rude.

The phandom has always been toxic as shil. But it’s gotten word ngl. I had to read a post with my own two eyes that explained how a pessimist vs optimist sees the hiatus. I can’t tell if the post was satire but it was awful.

When is everyone going to learn that you are shipping and fetishizing and harassing two reall grow men. This isn’t Captain America/Iron Man, these are reall humans. I love Dan and Phil and I’ve watched them for years, I considered myself a part of the fandom at a time. Now I’ll watch their videos but I don’t want anyone to know I do, and that’s because of the phandom.

I doubt I’ll change your mind but this is 2019 not 2009 so please stop acting like children

[that-gay-computer]

ALL OF THE ABOVE (that you feel comfortable answering, that is!!) ❄

Yeah it's cool! I got chu!! Aight here we go here we go!!!!

👋🏻 What’s your name?

Gabriel! That's me!

🎂 When’s your birthday?

August 12th babey!! 🎉🎉🎉

⭐️ What’s your zodiac sign?

I'm a Leo! 🦁

🏡 Where were you born?

Brazil!

😶 What’s your ethnicity?

Latino! (am I doing this right? I kinda forgot how the whole ethnicity thing works?)

👄 What’s your first language?

Technically Spanish, since it's what my parents speak? I didnt learn Portuguese until I was like 3

👤 What’s your gender?

Trans boy!

🌈 What’s your sexuality?

Uhhh it's a work in progress but currently? Demisexual

💋 What is your romantic orientation?

Biromantic babey! 💗💜💙

👕 What’s your favourite type of clothing?

Honestly mostly oversized stuff? I'm pretty tiny so it ain't too hard ahajdjka

👢 What’s your favourite type of shoes?

CONVERSE!!!! I LOVE THEM AND THOSE NEW SHOES THEY RELEASED??? BIG WANT

🕶 What’s your favourite accessory?

I'm not type for accessories buuut I usually stick to this one necklace I have

☂️ What’s your favourite type of weather?

Breezy but sunny for the most part! But it's super freaking cold right now and im d y I n g

🐾 What’s your favourite animal?

TURTLES I LOVE THOSE GUYS

🐉 What’s your favourite mythical/extinct

creature?

DRAGONS!! THEYRE BIG LIZARDS I LOVE THEM

🌲 What’s your favourite plant?

Succulents are pretty nifty!

🌷 What’s your favourite flower?

It's a tie between sunflowers and roses!! 🌻🌹🌻🌹🌻🌹

🍎 Favourite fruit?

I'm supposed to pick??? Ok MANGOES ARE LIKE SO GOOD!!! Been a favorite since I was a kid and still are!!!

🥐 Favourite foreign food?

Ají de gallina is pretty fuckin good lemme tell ya

🍟 Favourite fast food place?

Subway! I really like their stuff

🍪 Favourite sweets/candy/snack?

STATBURST

☕️ Tea or coffee?

Tea, spill it sis (HAJSJDKA THAT WAS SO BADDDD)

🏒 Do you have a sporty hobby?

If you count dancing as sporty than sorta? I'm thinkin of getting back into swimming tho!!

⛸ Ice skating or roller skating?

NONE I AM TERRIFIED OF BOTH

🏅 What’s your best achievement?

(Already answered!)

🎼 Do you play any musical instruments?

Used to play the guitar! Wanna get back into that

🎨 Would you call yourself an artist?

Yup! Pretty proud to be one, I know I'm not the best but I do dance, draw and act so I'm pretty sure that qualifies into artist

❤️ Are you single or taken?

Happily taken!! 💕💕💕💕

💛 Who is your best friend?

Okay it's kind of hard to choose but @mangomaverick is my bestest friend in the entire world (and well shes also my gorlfriend) and my best bro! @cacti-tvs!!!

💔 Who has broken your heart?

Eh two of my exes, I ain't naming them cause I'm pretty sure they know who they are but honestly if I've ever been heartbroken by someone it was by them

🖤 Do you hate anyone?

Not in particular? Save for like you know bigots and stuff, I'm not a personal fan of my mother for some things shes done but hey

💚 Are you optimistic or pessimistic in problematic situations?

(EDIT: I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ONE)

But when it's about other people I try to stay positive! With myself I kind of slump into self hate town so pretty pessimistic lmao

💙 Introvert or extrovert?

Surprisingly extroverted ngl, I thought of myself as an introvert but I'm definitely more on the extroverted side of things!

💜 What do you look like?

Like an absolute rat bastard

I do have this little doodle of me and my gf tho I'm the shorter one ahajaj

[skyahq]

WELL. it’s me again. i’m sam ( she / her, 21, est timezone ) and i also play parker! this is sky who i’ve had for a while but haven’t really done much with bc my muse for him hasn’t been the best, however i think i’m all sorted with him now so, character info under the cut! tbh it’s literally the exact same intro as before with just a few slight changes but feel free to still give it a read and please message me if you’d like to plot because i would absolutely love that!

FIRST. let’s just. let’s get it out of the way right here and now that this is a sideblog so i will be messing up and posting shit to the wrong accounts sometimes bc i’m dumb. let’s laugh abt it now so we don’t have to do it later. k cool we can carry on now

「 CODY CHRISTIAN, CISMALE, 25, PARAMORE. 」┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on SKY ARLO? he is the DRUMMER in BETTER NOW, one of my favorite ALT ROCK groups. they’ve been releasing music for FOUR YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last TWO YEARS. get this, i think i heard HE’S THE ILLEGITIMATE CHILD OF A WEALTHY PUBLIC FIGURE. they’re known as the CALIGINOUS of the music industry, since they have a rep for being TRENCHANT but SELF - SERVING, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.  

born and raised deep in the swamplands of louisiana, sky’s only parent was a single mom who was nowhere near old enough or prepared enough to have a kid, tbh. she did sincerely try to take care of him at first but she had a drug problem that got very out of hand very quickly. sky was barely even five years old when the state stepped in and had him placed into the foster system.

has the slightest of southern accents but if you point it out he will deny it

will occasionally speak a little cajun french though bc we stan a multilingual grump

spent the rest of his childhood without a family or stable home. he was shuffled all over the state — placed in group homes, orphanages, and many different foster homes which were unfortunately very neglectful and unsafe sometimes. by his preteen years he was practically living on the streets of new orleans, survival instincts sharply honed.

he learns fast and had very quickly become an expert thief, pickpocket, and con artist, but that doesn’t mean he never got caught. he did. a lot. like his juvie record is longer than your arm

somehow still found time to experience your typical teenage first love resulting in unbearable heartbreak with a girl who lived on the streets and ran scams just like him. it was a bonnie & clyde together forever type of romance until it wasn’t cause the girl shockingly ditched him while he was in serious trouble in order to save her own skin and he never saw her again

not long after that he turned seventeen AND THEN SOMETHING SUPER IMPORTANT HAPPENED. by that i mean he was sought out by his social worker who then proceeded to 1) tell him his mother had died and 2) take him away to california because apparently there was a family out there who wanted to adopt him! and they did!

his new family wasn’t actually new though because the man who adopted him was his biological father. he and sky’s mother were lovers for the brief time wherein sky’s father was visiting louisiana in his late teen years but he left before ever finding out that he was going to have a child. he’d never stopped thinking about sky’s mom, however, so he’d do some digging every few years. of course by the time he finally did find her it was because of an obituary and then he’d heard about sky and just knew that this was his kid.

sky learned about all of this right away upon meeting his father and to say he didn’t take it very well is a MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT. he was furious. after all, his father had a whole new family! a wife and kids and a very prestigious job AND OH YEAH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO HIS NAME BUT HE’D NEVER HELPED SKY EVEN ONCE. it didn’t really help that he was clearly trying to make up for his absence in sky’s life by being present now that he had the opportunity and anyway, it turned out he had ulterior motives for that.

basically, a large part of his dad’s wealth was in fact inherited through the family. they’re all old money posh so finding out that the next family patriarch had an unknown son who was technically his firstborn was terrifying. blood or not, they couldn’t just hand centuries of traditions and carefully cultivated wealth over to a high school dropout living on the streets. so, sky’s dad was just keeping him close while he talked to lawyers about whether or not sky had any legitimate claim to anything owned by his family and of course, the sneaky street smart kid he is, sky figured out what was going on pretty quickly and bolted back to the streets.

he was still seventeen at the time and he’s lived in los angeles ever since but hasn’t had any contact with his father or seen a single penny of that family money

so yeah he’s illegitimate, no actual rights to their fortune

lived on the streets in los angeles for a while, but with a little hard work ( and a lot of thievery and conning ) he was eventually able to get himself a little apartment while working various jobs

nothing really stuck until better now, but when he first joined the band he’d literally never played the drums before. ever. not once before in his entire life. did he lie anyway and say that he was a Drumming Expert™ because he’d get paid to play gigs with them and happened to be broke af at the time? why yes he absolutely did

since then they switched lead singers with sweets having joined the band four years ago and they’ve released one album that was lit af! they’re currently in the middle of putting together their second album and since sky’s found out that he actually really loves drumming things have been pretty good for him. he lives in a nice apartment and finally has enough money to get by without conning or stealing. he still doesn’t really know how to deal with being a celebrity but tbh he actually adores the attention? he loves having fans? people in his life who seem to genuinely love and care about him? what is this new and exciting concept he’s confused but happy nonetheless

never ever talks about his dad / family though

as usual i was Extra™ and went off with the backstory stuff, but we can move onto personality now!

by default assumes that literally everyone he meets is going to betray him. is truly on some x files trust no one shit

except he does actually genuinely trust a few people for now i’m going to say just his bandmates since i imagine they’ve been through a lot together at this point but that’s open to expansion

street smart, charming, flirtatious ( especially around pretty girls ), witty, perspicacious, determined, tough, mistrustful, surly, reckless, uncouth, self-serving af sometimes

also v v sarcastic and STUBBORN

all of sky’s save his own skin above all else stuff? kind of a lie. he’s got a soft spot for people in need of help and though he might do it begrudgingly, sky often will actually put others before him.

the other personality traits i listed are pretty spot on though

literally always has his drumsticks with him and brings them everywhere. will drum on anything and everything until told to stop then he miiiight apologize? but go right back to doing it again not even five minutes later ngl

street smart af but book smart? not so much. he picks up on things pretty quickly but he’s still pretty dumb lmao and will in fact say some stupid shit at least 2932589843794836708 times a day

however he’s not always much of a talker. he’s gotta be in the mood bc if he isn’t but you try to have a convo with him he’s gonna be even more standoffish than usual

when he does talk though, sky is often sarcastic, pessimistic, and surly

he’s permanently grumpy

except he also has many soft spots that are very easy to find

stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical w/ a dash of sinnamon roll

he’s usually a cute little ray of sunshine around fans though bc they just?? make him so happy?? it makes him so happy to know that people love better now and that they LOVE HIM OK

though if ever called out for smiling he would immediately deny

will absolutely throw hands if he has to

TL;DR - louisiana born street smart drummer for better now with an accent he denies having and an extremely rich family who wants nothing to do with him but it wasn’t like he ever cared anyway. charming and flirtatious but also can be grumpy and pessimistic. expert pickpocket and con artist. has no idea how to handle being a celebrity but he not so secretly enjoys the love he gets from fans. has trouble trusting and allowing himself to get close to anyone & everyone.

finally…it’s over. if you actually read this far then i applaud you. i don’t have any specific plots in mind EXCEPT FOR POTENTIALLY HALF SIBLINGS RELATED THROUGH HIS FATHER SO PLEASE MESSAGE ME IF YOU’RE INTERESTED BC Y E S but if you know me then you know i want all the plots so feel free to message me and we can definitely work something out! as usual i’m super excited to write with you folks!

[silverineontherun]

Biiiitch I'm back back back again! How's the positivity going? Ngl I'm wavering, any advice? (also good, you changed the layout, it was fugly lmao)

Goddammit anon, that’s an Alyssa Edwards reference I spot there and I want you to write me a dm RIGHT NOW (even if you diss my blog... which yeah, is ugly, I can’t code for my life, sue me).

About the positivity, I guess you mean klance? Or the show in general? Anyway, listen. The metas around are kinda discouraging and yeah, I’ve been fuming about “what could be” this whole weekend, BUT! the fact that s7 resolved the Earth arc gives me a lot of hope that other things I wanna see, such as a Haggar fight, a colony explanation, a revisit to the rift creatures and a possible Lotor vindication could be on our way (we stan the Galra family in this house, tbh). A lot to do in 13 eps, but I’m kinda sure they could pull at least 2 of these. Even if some of the staff were gone for this last season and that sends bad vibes, and the fact that LM and JDS don’t seem to be gifted storytellers... I still want to hope they’ll stick to their concept and that concept is not gonna be joke. I respect them enough to give them the benefit of doubt. Like, I’m literally giving them my last ounce of hope and praying they deliver enough to give us some real closure. So yeah, I have faith!

About klance in particular... you know, it IS strange, this forced set up right at the end of s7, with two apparent endgames at the same time and out of nowhere... I wanna believe they won’t prosper, and pray that our Allura isn’t hurt in the process. And I said it before, but I still think astral plane klance could be a reality, so I’m sticking to it until they prove me wrong. Still, again, in front of the evidence that “other hands” meddled in the writing, being a pessimist is self-care in these trying times, if you can’t stand being let down then do what you must!

So, in short, I’m not dissin’ the writing anymore until the end, but after that? If they crush all of our hopes and the finale is worse than any meta out there, THE LEVELS OF SALT ON THIS BLOG?? Will SKYROCKET and you bet I’ll be losing all my mutuals lol. But only after the disaster, for now I’m choosing to live my life as free of VLD stress as I can. Hope it helped and hmu any time!

[the-hawks-rye]

I was tagged by both @kinschi @icameheretowinry! ty!!!!! sorry it look me so long O.o Even though it took me 10 years I had a lot of fun doing this!

Rules: Always post the rules. Answer 11 random questions posted for you. Create 11 new questions and tag 11 people. Let the person who tagged you know what you answered.

@kinschi‘s questions:

1. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

ngl I’ve been lowkey afraid of losing my toes for the longest time. Everytime i stub one of them I’m like “this is it. the end of the line” ghgvjhtfgcjyhtgyhjm

2. What was your last dream about? 

Rodents being cute. This time they did not multiply until i couldn’t remember any of their names thankfully 3. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets! 4. Are you optimistic or pessimistic in problematic situations? 

If it’s just me then I get pessimistic, but if I’m with someone else I try to look on the bright side 5. What Is Your Eye Colour? 

Hazel 6. Coffee Or Tea? 

Hot Chocolate!

7. Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Gyjhjgkjhnj,m I love sunlight,  but I also like that surreal quality being up late  8. Name Something That Relaxes You. 

9. Favourite Pokemon? (If you have one)

I’m pretty new to pokemon but Ivysaur looks super rad 10. What is something you want right now? 

Sleep

11. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? 

How did I survive

@icameheretowinry‘s questions:

1. Is there a movie you’ve seen over 10 times?

Probably all of the Star Wars prequels

2. Do you believe in ghosts?

Not really  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you?

I’m pretty sure I got confused for a middle-aged mom before so...

4. Have you ever laughed until you cried?

Many times!

5. Sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets!

6. Riza Hawkeye is standing in front of you. What’s the first thing you say/do?

Tell her I love her and probably start crying.

7. Do you have any siblings?

Two! An older brother who has the ability to fall asleep almost anywhere and a younger sister who takes way to many screencaps of everything she watches

8. Where’s the most beautiful place in the world to you?

Anyplace with a lot of old trees

9. Do you like it when writers put their own OCs into fics with canon characters? (As a writer, I’m curious!)

If it’s OC-centric I’m honestly less likely to check it out. I have read a couple of stories like that before though and they were pretty good, but my priorities tend to be the canon characters. I think what turns me off from those is usually the fic doesn’t capture the feel of the canon world a lot of times. Not OC-centric is different, and is usually more of a quality of the writing or if it’s just not my type of story. There’s been a lot of cool OC’s that have been put into fics that I’ve enjoyed a lot, and they’ll be plenty more cool ocs i’ll like!

10. Do you have a good song you’ve been listening to lately?

The entire Mania album by Fall Out Boy is 👌 👌 👌

11. Were you a Disney channel, Cartoon Network, or Nickelodeon kid?

I’m not 100% sure but I think I watched more Nick