#next week we start nightmare time and I’m so excited

[hopefulleafva]

Been rewatching the Hatchetfield saga with a friend who is seeing it for the first time. And it’s just dawning on me now but are The Sniggles supposed to be a play on The Wiggles. Like with all the cheery singing and dancing while “teaching” about the Lords in Black

…In hindsight this is like super obvious and I’m just hella slow 😭 Fits perfectly with the twisted childhood show vibe of the Lords in Black having those Teletubby ass nicknames. God I love this series

[onlyswan]

summary: in which jungkook is giving up on you but you have so much love left to give.

> idol!jungkook x f!reader / angst, fluff, suggestive / wc: 8.3k

> warnings: mention of infidelity (no one did u can breathe ily), mention of a classmate slipping their number in oc’s pocket and oc feeling unsafe, mention of puking, mentions & allusion to s/x, alcohol consumption, making out, boob!e fondle, gr*nding kinda? jungkook is hard™️ they’re so in love it’s sickening

> in which masterlist!

playlist! and if/or when - ruel / hate everything - jungkook cover (gsoul) / hits different - taylor swift / statue - lil’ eddie / i wouldn’t ask you - clairo (i had to get in the zone & this is so oc-coded i need u to listen i’m so srs)

next: in which you don’t want to give up jungkook (even when he gave you reasons to, even if they give you reasons to).

note: this was a journey. happened back in june 2019.!! i’m ripping off the bandaid <3 deep sigh writing this made me realize how my babies have come so far. hopefully will follow up with a fluffy fluff lowkey inspired by the underwear live soonest lols i’m excited for it 2 stay tuned 🫂 reblogs & feedback are much appreciated <3

—

you forgot the walls of the apartment building you’re living in are thin. a small portion of the white paint has been chipped off, it looks like a birth mark, you note — except it’s not, and you’re the one who caused the irregularity.

your favorite glass is scattered across the kitchen floor, reduced to shards and to sparkling pieces almost as miniscule as dust. you don’t know what came over you. you don’t know why you threw it at the wall instead of filling it with cold water to only drink three sips like you usually do.

just when you thought you’ve been faring well in holding yourself together today, a fresh wave of sorrow overwhelms you. your knees buckle as you begin weeping, the loudest you’ve been since this nightmare has started. it swallows the knocking sounds at your door, but it’s still not loud enough to quell jungkook’s quivering voice playing like a broken record on loop inside your head.

“we should end this… i think it’s for the best, before we get drained.”

the rain is coming down fiercely and you’re freezing inside his car, parked outside your apartment. after all, his balenciaga windbreaker can only do so much against the blasted airconditioner. your throat is painfully dry, and your hands and face are numb from the piercing cold. but those are the least of your concerns because you feel like your head had just been dunked in ice water. the sting in your eyes are burning warmer as the seconds fly by and the muffled sounds of the torrential raindrops drum frantically in your ears. they’re clouding the car windows, mirroring jungkook’s tear-stained cheeks.

“i’m leaving again in three weeks. and i’m leaving again next year… and i’ll be gone again soon after that for a long time. i-i don’t know when i’m coming home, ___.” he pauses. the heel of palms press against his eyes, as if that could possibly barricade the saltwater leaking from them. “i never know where my life is taking me and you have your own… there’s too much-too much going on. i think that i’m just wasting your time, that this isn’t- it’s not going anywhere.”

“open the door! hello?! ___!”

“what do you want?!” you seeth in annoyance, swinging the door open to reveal your pesky neighbor.

he scratches the top of his head awkwardly at the sight of the mess that you greeted him with, having not bothered to pretend that you weren’t wailing your heart out.

”hey, i know you’re going through something…” his lips remain parted as he struggles to find the correct word, his right eye twitching voluntarily. “soul-crushing? right now. but i heard glass breaking and i was concerned that you, uhm, might’ve hurt yourself.”

the apparent nervousness and sincerity in his actions pull you out from the isolating disassociation you’ve imprisoned yourself in. you feel humiliated, presenting yourself in your most pitiful form infront of a kid two years younger than you. you envy him for having it together after storming out of his parents’ house while you-

“i’m not hurt. it was just an accident.”

you’re shamelessly lying infront of his face because the truth makes you feel too ashamed of yourself.

he only nods, smiling in relief. “i don’t know how to help make you feel better, so i just brought honey like i used to do before.”

you sigh, the familiar jar of honey and its red checkered lid waving at you like an old friend. has it been a year?

“bro, i told you i can’t accept this anymore.”

“you and your boyfriend already broke up. what’s the big deal?”

you have never wanted to smack someone more, the genuine confusion painted on his face feels like an infuriatingly harsh slap to yours.

“he wasn’t threatened by your honey, you dipshit. we just found out my blood sugar was getting a bit high!”

“oh- i’m so-”

you angrily slam the door shut. the silence you’re left with is suffocating, and you find yourself breaking down again.

he jumps in surprise when you open the door again, yelling- “and we’re not broken up!” before ripping away the jar of honey from his sweaty palms. he’s left completely flabbergasted, an inexplicable heaviness weighing on his chest when he hears your sniffling from the other side of the hard-wood.

“does that mean i can deliver again next week? i have too much in my kitchen…”

he doesn’t receive a snarky answer, surprisingly, so he continues talking.

“and f-y-i, your left cheek is bleeding! you might want to check on that!”

—

“you didn’t even give me any signs…”

you inhale a deep, shaky breath in a fragile attempt of keeping your composure. you want to scream, rip apart this thick tension with your bare hands, and force him to admit that this is just some kind of sick joke. you finally see him in person after months and all he has for you is a gift bag filled to the brim with heartbreak. this is too casually cruel, not something you would’ve expected from your jungkook.

“do you really mean that? or is there something else you’re not saying…? look at me.” you plead, weakly tugging at the hem of his long-sleeved shirt. the horrors of long-distance relationship stories claw their way out of your skin, adding fuel to the fire of your deepest fear. “you didn’t cheat on me, right? that can’t be it. we- we always-”

after you ended your last relationship, you cried at the parking lot of your university and continued living your life the next morning as if nothing happened at all. you did it all for yourself, anyway. he was gradually tearing down your confidence and your dignity; and you didn’t want to become a person the future you would despise for not being wiser, stronger.

and here you are at present day: spending the cozy sunday night solving chemistry problems on your desk. you have a blue bandaid plastered on your face and a cheek full of fruit and honey. and you would say you’re fine, but jungkook wasn’t here to sweetly dote on you while treating your wound. he isn’t here to taste the honey from your lips with that coquettish smirk of his. he isn’t laying on your bed, fighting to stay awake because he wants to fall asleep with you as his pillow.

no matter how hard you try to shut out this thought, it keeps knocking on the door. he’s going to be doing these sweet nothings for a different person when he finally reaches a more stable place in his life. you want to kneel on the ground, beg the heavens to meddle with destiny and never let you hear about it.

because that means he will never set foot in your apartment again, and the personal belongings you left in his room will be thrown out to erase the traces you left behind.

so this is how it begins.

the ugliest parts of you are swimming to the surface, tying themselves around your ankles because jungkook took away the ground from beneath your feet after unearthing your soul and… nothing makes sense to you anymore. if you wake up every morning to tend to your garden, and you look outside the window to learn that the sun has stopped burning, what do you have left?

your lips inevitably curve into a frown, but you inhale a sharp breath, patting your eyes dry before they can smudge the black ink on your notepad. and then you dip a strawberry in honey for the third time.

—

“no, baby, no- that’s not it.”

the dread and insecurity weaved into the cracks of your voice fill him with nausea and panic. he captures your frigid hand with haste, firmly holding it to his pounding chest.

“i would never do that to you. just the thought alone fucking disgusts me… you’re the only one. you’ve ruined me for everybody else.”

“then why are you giving up on me? am i becoming a burden?”

jungkook feels painfully numb, mind floating as the buildings outside the window get left behind him as a mere, passing blur.

“yah, jungkook-ah. are you crying?”

a torturous moment of silence passes as he struggles to find his voice. his tongue is tied, and his lost eyes are betraying the nights he spent practicing how to explain himself to you. back then, the reasoning he curated made sense. but faced with the consequences of his actions, the love of his life’s brain running a thousand miles per hour, recording a tale of woe and heartache on his passenger seat — he has never felt this much loathing for himself and his weaknesses.

you release a shaky breath, patting his rosy cheeks dry with your sleeves. you smile at him kindly, and he watches you in sheer disbelief. he can’t fathom the perpetual luck he’s been blessed with that he met, who he believes to be, the purest soul to grace this corrupted world. they’re damp with your tears, so it’s practically useless, but the sweet gesture is a stray beam of sunlight in the midst of the dull gray clouds.

the comforting rubs on his shoulder extracts him from his torturous thoughts, and only then does he feel the wetness on his face.

“you’ve been holding it back for the past week. just cry it out.”

he nods wordlessly, hiding himself in the fleece blanket from his lap. yoongi can feel a lump forming in his throat as he witnesses his youngest brother breaking down, jungkook’s pain also being his pain. as a group who’s been living together for the past decade, no one will be able to empathize with them as well each other. especially during times like this.

“___ hasn’t called?”

jungkook shakes his head wistfully, wiping away the tears that slid down his nose. he is dying to send you a text message, worried sick, and still used to hearing about your day the same way he is used to sleeping on his stomach.

“hyung,” the sound of the word borders on a sob. “it’s over. this is killing me… it’s all my fault.”

“but isn’t that what you wanted?”

“exactly. so why am i crying?” his hands ball into closed fists. “i’m an asshole.”

“enough of that!” yoongi loudly whines out his scolding. ”we all know you had your reason.”

“but, hyung, i fucked up!” he tenses up, blurting out the acknowledgement that’s been haunting him day and night. “she told me the most romantic thing and i felt so… fuck, i’m so angry at myself. i ruined everything. and i’m scared that i’d end up making things worse if i try fixing it.”

“stop beating yourself up. we can’t solve things this way.” yoongi grabs a bottle of water from the cupholder between them, twisting the cap open before handing it to jungkook. “drink first.”

once he starts drinking, he realizes that his throat has been awfully dry and sore. it’s most probably best for him to rest his voice. he can already foresee the concert rehearsal being absolute hell tomorrow. if he can’t sing, he doesn’t know how else he’s supposed to keep himself sane.

“talk to me. what did she say?”

“you’re the first person i’ve fallen in love with, do you know that?”

and with that revelation, he loses the warmth of your touch, and he comes crashing down like a wingless aircraft.

“i also need time to think about it. that’s only fair, right? that i get to decide, too…?” you swallow thickly, lips parting as if the words are resisting to come out of your mouth.

he looks at you with an emotion you can’t name, a push and pull between longing and trepidation.

if this was a movie, he would brave the rain and somehow perfectly deliver a poetically romantic speech that would sway your heart. if this was a movie, you would take a warm bath together, make out in the bathtub, and make love on your bed. if this was a movie, the day would end with the two of you tangled up, peacefully asleep and rhythmic breathing in sync. but he knows you. apparently not as well as he thought, but to some extent, he knows you. if he pulls you closer in the heat of the moment, you would feel suffocated and defensive and you would push him away; and he would lose you for good. that much he knows. so he lets you leave and he stays in the car— heartbroken, crestfallen, and regretful, because he might’ve just recklessly thrown away the best gift the universe has ever given him.

“i was thinking about how she never would’ve made this much sacrifices and efforts for anyone else and i feel like… i- it’s all going to waste because our future is uncertain. i can’t be committed to her as much as she is committed to me. and, and i felt like the guilt was eating away at me, you know? i wasn’t thinking straight.” jungkook chews on his bottom lip, a last ditch effort to prevent himself from sobbing. “it just… consumed me? like i was drowning… and all i could smell and taste was the saltwater.”

“i see,” yoongi sighs, crossing his legs and intertwining his fingers infront of his stomach as he finds the right words to say. “that’s a normal response. our brain is a very complex friend… but you know, everything i’ve been through as myself and as a part of our team, hmmm, they taught me that there are times when a problem doesn’t necessarily need a solution per se. you just keep going until the fog clears up and then you move past it.”

fuck, jungkook needs a glass of whiskey. or two. or twelve. he listens intently despite seeming like he’s spacing out.

“this won’t last forever and time slips away from us without us even noticing. you should do what you want to do. if we’re going to deprive ourselves of good things, what will we have left after everything is over? money we can’t spend in one lifetime? there’s no happiness in that.”

yoongi frowns, wishing he could do more to alleviate the weight hanging on jungkook’s shoulders.

“you deserve love outside all the noise, too. focus on the present which you can still control and deal with the future when it arrives. if you do otherwise, you’ll just be tormenting yourself… and i know it’s easier said than done but! do you want to hear something i’ve had on my mind lately?”

with a flushed face and swollen eyes, he tilts his head to curiously spy on his hyung.

“what is it?”

“your motivation to work out after our shows is so you can stay awake and spend time with her. that’s why you fall asleep everywhere else. do you know how scary and endearing it is to watch that? is that what you call ‘not being committed enough’?”

yoongi fails to hide his gummy smile, body vibrating with silent laughter as pictures of jungkook falling asleep standing up flash before his eyes.

“seriously, you punk! you scare me! i just pass out and die straight after while you- really, you’re really unbelievable. i envy you. for being able to love with everything you have until they break your heart. i mean it!”

“but i’m the one who broke their heart this time.” jungkook somberly utters in defeat, bottom lip jutting out and chin quivering.

yoongi encouragingly pats his shoulder, shaking his body lightly. ”you can make it up to her. she’ll reach out before we leave. have some more patience.”

jungkook’s eyes turn into slits, suspiciously squinting at the man sitting beside him. “why do you sound so sure?”

“because she loves you. why else?”

—

you automatically pause from eating cup ramyeon when your phone lights up on top of the journals you’ve been reviewing for the past hour.

“ah, shit! shit!”

you abruptly cover your mouth with your hand, exhausted eyes watering because you accidentally bit your tongue after reading the name of the sender of your newest text notification. you take sips of cold water, peering at your phone as you do so. your hands itch to type out a response, but the screen dies and turns black, another of yoongi’s messages in the same pile of unanswered ones from your friends checking up on you tonight. you can’t talk to anyone right now; you need to get shit done.

after eating your dinner at the convenience store, you come home to a plastic of fried chicken hanging on the doorknob of your front door.

Eat lots and stay healthy! I’m feeding Jungkook well too. Don’t worry. — Yoongi

you peel off the blue handwritten note, sticking it on the cover of one of your books. you carefully carry the food using your free hand, and you can feel it radiating on your skin, the heat of a freshly-cooked meal. you were always worried of being a bother when you occasionally ask him how jungkook is doing on tour, but this made your heart significantly lighter. gaining a good friend after losing your lover, perhaps life can show a smidge of mercy when it wants to.

too bad you’ve always been one to be greedy.

—

“ah, seriously. why did you have to break up with ___?”

“we’ve been through this a million times!” jungkook exclaims in exasperation as he fiddles with the controller, bumping his knee with taehyung’s. “focus. you’re supposed to be helping me forget.”

“i don’t remember agreeing to that.” taehyung responds with a shrug, smirking when he picks up a booster and runs past his friend’s character. “you finally found someone who could put up with you and you let them go? i won’t let you forget.”

jungkook scoffs, eyes rolling upwards. “bro, i should be the least of your problems.”

“nuh-uh.” taehyung tuts with a grin, belly aching with laughter when jungkook’s car jumps over his to steal the lead. he didn’t even know that was possible. he plans on using the same trick against him later. “i’m making you my biggest problem so i don’t have to deal with mine.”

“they’re not married yet. you still have a chance, you know?”

“yah!” he gapes at jungkook in shock, entirely forgetting about the game. “take that back!”

“don’t act like you haven’t thought of it!”

“yeah, but i don’t say it out loud. it sounds too wrong! i still have my morals left!” he cries out, stomping his feet on the floor.

jungkook lightly punches his arm, eyebrows pinched in confusion. “i meant you have a chance if they break up. i have morals too! what do you think of me?!”

“oh…” taehyung blinks. “you know who else have probably thought of that too, though?”

“who?” jungkook boredly questions as he scrolls through the game collection, contemplating about which one to play next.

“all the other people waiting in line for ___.”

the realization renders him motionless, stirring up the possessiveness coursing through his veins. for the love of god, he doesn’t want to be petty but that struck a nerve. he wants to storm out of the house and look for you, beg on his knees for you to take him back.

“aish, hyung, you’re driving me crazy! why would you tell me that? are we torturing each other?!”

“are you crying? yah, jungkook-ah.” taehyung watches his hunched figure with a guilty wince, hesitant hands rubbing the expanse of his back. “i’m sorry- i’m sorry… do you want a hug?”

jungkook stays quiet, head hanging low to hide his face crumpling with anguish. the loose but affectionate hug that he gets pulled into prompts him to fall apart, catharsis blossoming in his ribcage and turning his bones into jelly.

he hears obnoxiously loud sniffles, and he abandons taehyung’s shoulder to look at his face. “are you crying, too?”

“stop ruining the moment.” taehyung groans, forcefully pushing down his head again.

namjoon comes out from his bedroom in search for another extension cord, still sipping on the half-empty iced americano he took from the fridge only ten minutes ago. the heartfelt scene on the couch causes him to halt on his tracks. how did they go from playing games to crying together? he silently observes the two members for a moment before deciding to approach them.

“what am i going to do with the two of you?” he grunts, ruffling his hair in frustration. “shall we go out for drinks to disinfect your wounded hearts?”

the mention of alcohol makes them perk up, jungkook’s tearful doe eyes sparkling at the prospect of temporarily erasing the pain that has uncontrollably spread throughout his system. he wants to drink until he forgets that he has hands, until he forgets what it feels like to touch you.

“thanks, monie-hyung. i’ll have my appetizer.”

and the iced americano gets snatched away from namjoon’s unsuspecting hand within the blink of an eye.

—

“this is not a barbecue restaurant.” you stare blankly at the orange neon lights spelling out the name of the night club your friends secretly conspired to bring you to.

“___, loosen up! the fastest way to move on is to find someone else. this is the best place for that.” aera turns around from the passenger seat of the taxi, her red lips painting a thrilled smile. “just forget about jungkook. we all knew this shit was going to happen. i’m surprised you even lasted that long!”

“i don’t know what you’re trying to imply but i don’t appreciate your tone.” you warn her with a sharp, threatening look. “and the ‘someone else’ that i found at a bar before turned out to be biggest fucking jerk i’ve ever met. i’m not doing this again.”

“things might be different this ti-” mi-ran aids in persuading you, but it only adds fuel to the fire.

“oh my god! fuck off!” you yell in irritation, aggressively getting off the car and slamming the door shut on their faces.

you never look back, ignoring the shouts of your name and half-assed apologies. you don’t have the slightest idea about where you’re going — your feet have a mind of their own and they chose to go the opposite way of home. this isn’t how you envisioned your night. you just wanted to listen to the sound of the meat grill and complain about life giving you a taste of true love just to cut your tongue with it until you bled. was that too much to ask?

you’re about ninety percent certain that you just lost two of whom you treated to be your closest friends. you think of ah-young, and you briefly consider crashing at your best friend’s band practice, but you’re too exhausted to travel to the other end of the city.

with eleven seconds left in the timer, you cross the street with swift and long strides alongside a crowd consisting mostly of employees wearing the same navy blue uniform. at last, you’re among the bright and lively restaurants, the inviting smell of good food making your stomach sting with hunger.

it’s only taehyung who recognizes you when you unknowingly pass by, almost choking on his glass of somaek, the combination of soju and beer. with his career on the line, he is confident that he can recognize that balenciaga windbreaker anywhere and anytime. meanwhile, instead of talking about you, the youngest is drunkenly reminiscing about the alleged ghost encounters he had in their old dorms. their leader is tragically left to tend to the grill alone. he deeply regrets not dragging any of the older members with them.

“everyone, i think i just saw __-”

a grimace of cluelessness is plastered on taehyung’s face when jungkook claps once, enthusiastically pointing at him as if he just announced something inspiring and life-changing.

“you’re right, you’re right! that’s it! what i’m kind of trying to say here is…” he pauses, facial muscles relaxing into a gloomy expression. he sniffles and rubs his nose, making it a brighter shade of red. “when we move houses again, i won’t have stories like these to bring with me. the new ghosts will be my memories with ___.”

none of the other two dares to speak after that, the oddly satisfying sound of meat being grilled and the chattering from other tables occupy the uneasy and heavy silence. instead, they begin filling their own shot glasses with pure soju. namjoon is the first one to spill it down his throat, slamming it on the table before dishing out his phone from his pocket. by this time, all of them are already drunk, double vision blurry and speech a little slurred. they gave up on counting the green bottles and cans of beer a long while ago.

“shit, that was a good metaphor. i need to write that down.”

“namjoon-hyung, he’s crying again!”

jungkook’s head slumps on the table with a thud, hot tears escaping down to his temple as he laments. “i miss her so much. why did i have to break up with her the second we got home? why…? am i so impulsive? what do i do if… if she agrees that we- h-how am i supposed to live with myself after that…? i’m never going to love again.”

they shuffle apprehensively on their seats, but still, they tell jungkook what he needs to hear since he won’t remember tonight’s events, anyway.

that’s not going happen. she just needs some more time. i’m sure she’s missing you too. everything will be okay.

but it’s been almost two weeks of radio silence. their flight is in nine days, drawing nearer and nearer as if it’s purposely taunting jungkook. everyone is thinking the same thing, and everyone is afraid to say it out loud.

—

it’s 7am when his work alarm goes off. with a disgruntled noise, a hungover jungkook drowsily drags himself out of bed, eyes still closed as he swings the bedroom door open.

“oing?” he creates a noise of confusion when his arm bumps against an object. he blinks at the brown paper bag hanging on his doorknob, removing one of the handles to peek at its contents.

he buffers for a moment, staring blankly at his belongings safely tucked inside. there’s his black mini bluetooth speaker, tinted lipbalm, wired earphones, bucket hat, facial cleanser, moisturizer, and shampoo. these are everything he left on top of your study desk and in your bathroom. neatly folded on the side is his windbreaker, which he recalls as clear as daylight, how you reveled in its comfort the last time that you were together. the fabric softener you use has replaced his perfume, the cherry scent forming a rain cloud of nostalgia and longing above his head.

if this is a nightmare, he is begging for somebody, anybody, to break into the room and to bring him someplace where hope is not desolate.

his wounded heart, as his namjoon-hyung described, is experiencing an excruciating pain he never even imagined was possible. he now understands, why the broken heart syndrome is a real thing.

he can’t read you. is this your way of ‘reaching out’? have you kicked him out of your house, out of your life? for good?

the dread of losing you forever is gnawing at his insides. nausea almost succeeds in knocking him off his feet. his brain hisses with static. he panics at the disgustingly familiar sensation brewing in his digestive system, sprinting to the bathroom to spill out his guts.

they say that you don’t realize what you have until you lose it. that early morning, jungkook realizes that he’s only a human being after all.

—

“when did i put that there?”

you’re sorting out your dirty laundry after showering when you notice a tissue paper tucked in the front pocket of your denim jeans. you huff out a sigh, ripping it apart into tiny pieces over the trash bin with raging vexation. you will never understand how men thinks that these kind of stupid tricks are supposed to compel you into seeing them anywhere near attractive and desirable in your eyes. if anything, they make you feel unsafe and if your paths cross again, you will run the other way. great. another person in the lecture room to avoid. just fucking great.

at this point, you want to mockingly laugh at your own misery. just when you thought your day couldn’t possibly get worse, it fucking does.

you tuck yourself in bed by midnight, texting a friend about your joint presentation next week, and then rereading your conversation with namjoon from this morning for the nth time. you’ve been hoping it will shine light on the right path to take, because you’re still lost and hurt.

Namjoon:

he’s been devastated since

can’t this be sorted out?

stuff’s just been overwhelming and honestly i’m as anxious as him

i'm not trying to force you into getting back together with him ofc but please talk for closure atleast..

you’re also my friend. i think you need it too..

you scroll a bit further down afterwards, and your heart drops to your stomach when you see the three dots under the contact name ‘my jungkook’. you click on it as it beckons you to, only to allow time to flow like a river with no sea to kiss, idly watching the bubble appear and disappear, appear and disappear. almost everyday, you catch a glimpse of him at the very least, typing a message and never sending it.

the same goes for tonight, it seems.

his silence is torturing you. in the car, in your inbox, in your call history. a person knocks on the door and a part of you foolishly predicts that it’s jungkook not using his copy of the key out of respect.

you succumb to the yearning, heading to your shared media and files that you’ve been actively resisting for the past three weeks… for this exact reason.

you randomly click a video sent by jungkook three months ago.

“i know you’re in class but i’m too excited to show what i got you today!” he beams at the front camera, bunny teeth cutely showing. he picks up the first item from the hotel bed with his free hand. “you already own this book but this one got a different cover, see? it’s hardback? they say it’s a limited edition.”

he eyes it fleetingly, obvious that there is something else he is dying to mention.

“i won’t show it too close. you can look at it when i go home. there’s a little surprise inside.”

he scrunches his nose before teasingly sticking his tongue out.

“and then here we haaave-”

following that, he shows you an adorable fluffy white bunny with red eyes. it occupies more than half the screen, and without a doubt, it is soft and huggable.

“cooky’s new sibling! we found it at a gift shop and hobi-hyung said it looks like me.”

he presses his cheek to the bunny’s. “i accept. we do look alike, but my eyes are so much bigger.”

in the upcoming seconds, the video is muted except for his breathing. he plops down on the bed while ruffling his dark hair, staring at the camera wordlessly, evocative of when you catch him dreamily watching you study while you’re on a videocall.

“i miss you.” he smiles sadly, deep dimples appearing on his cheeks. “don’t forget to text me when you’re on your way home.”

he drops on his back, the firm mattress breaking his fall.

“mmmwah!“ he kisses the camera, and your screen freezes on the final frame.

the silence in the aftermath is defeaning. you tear your glasses off your face, burying your face in the pillows. you arrive at your final decision then and there. you don’t care. you don’t care. you don’t care anymore. you cannot bear to spend more of your days like this. his things that used to live here might be gone, but you look for him everywhere. you look for his car in the parking lot. you look for his hair when you see flowers. you wait for his name to be called in the coffee shop. on your way home, you linger at the playground where you used to usually meet.

because if your relationship with jungkook is truly doomed to fail, you want to watch its foundation collapse on the ground, burnt down to gray and black ashes that disintegrate when you try to grasp them in your hands… with good grace, it’s the only way for you to believe that there’s no more home to come home to.

with a trembling hand, you press the call button and for the very first time, you beg someone to stay.

—

jungkook’s breathing ceases, heartbeat violently racing in his chest. the ‘chimes’ ringtone tickle his ears, his phone vibrating incessantly in his hands. the two features he specifically customized in your contact settings so he will immediately recognize that it’s you who’s calling.

it’s been four days since you dropped off his things. and here he was, laying on his bed and struggling to find the right words to say because he refuses to believe that this is how it ends. the paper bag is still hanging on the doorknob. he hasn’t touched it since the first time. he doesn’t have the courage to do so.

fuck giving you space. he wants drown himself in you and never come up for air. he’s more than willing to suffer your anger or your coldness. he’s prepared to prove himself worthy of a second chance every second of every day. he wants to occupy half of your desk and half of your closet again. he selfishly wishes to be the first and the last person you fall in love with.

but until the very end, you’re the braver one.

“love?” your voice is quiet, barely audible, but it’s there, and he hears the affectionate term of endearment distinctly. “i’m sorry. i tried, i really did, but i couldn’t do it…”

“baby,” he falters breathlessly, half of him in disbelief, convinced that he has officially lost his goddamn mind and delusion is bleeding into reality.

“i tried living without you like you wanted- but i can’t-” you hiccup in between small sobs on the other line. “i love you, jungkook. i can’t live carrying around all this love with me. it’s too heavy…”

exploding and breaking apart, jungkook’s heart is a meteor that has entered the planet’s atmosphere, and he doesn’t know where to begin digging for the fragments so he can piece himself together again.

“we are too young and we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing and i love you too much. you don’t have to protect me… i’ll take my fair share of the responsibility, so just-” he hangs on your every word, and then you pause, your following words eliciting a powerful punch to his gut. “just let me love you and let me learn my lesson the hard way… let’s do that, okay?”

the walls of him room ebbs and flows in like the sea. he rests his forearm over his eyes, his skin gradually dampening with tears. he once promised himself that he would never put you in this position. he should be the one begging for forgiveness, repenting and crawling on his knees. but rather than wasting his time with surfing through another tsunami of self-blame, he reminds himself: i want to be a better man.

“okay, baby. let’s do that, hmm? let’s do that. it’s what i want too.” he coos softly with a hoarse voice. “are you at your apartment?”

you hum in confirmation, sniffling. “come home.”

—

a half-naked jungkook abruptly opens the door to yoongi’s room, wearing gray sweatpants with his left arm awkwardly inserted in one of the black t-shirt’s armhole.

“hyung! can i borrow your car? mine’s getting a check-up.”

yoongi tears his eyes away from the computer, hanging the black headphones on the nape of his neck. he merely shrugs before throwing the car key, and jungkook catches it in one hand with ease.

he sighs in relief, politely bowing his upper body to express his gratitude. “thank you, hyung.”

“what are you doing?!” yoongi half-smiles with fondness, jokingly waving him off. “just go- go. leave!”

—

jungkook nervously stands before your front door, head woozy with anticipation and fear. what if things have changed? what if your relationship never goes back to the way it was?

“oh. you’re back together?”

he whips his head back to find your neighbor arriving home from his part-time job. huh, he just realized that he has never really learned what his name is. the only information he has on him is that his sister owns a bee farm.

“how did you even know?” he asks with knitted eyebrows. “you haven’t been giving out honey again, have you?”

“she only accepted it once.” the stranger puts his arms up in surrender with a roll of his eyes. “and don’t make her cry again, will you? she blasts sad songs late at night.”

and with an unpleasantly forceful shut of the door, jungkook is left alone in the hallway. his jaw clenches as he glares at the next apartment, but he rubs his face to release his frustration before he goes to meet you.

“we need to move in together.” he grumbles to himself as he enters your unit, relocking the door behind him. he removes his sneakers, neatly setting them down beside your pairs of shoes by the doormat.

he pads on the wooden floor with his white toe socks, looking around the dark and quiet living room. a faint orange light is seeping under the gap between the floor and the bedroom door, which he recognizes to be your favorite mode on your multi-colored nightstand lamp. he cautiously cracks the door open, and he is instantly greeted by your curled up figure, peacefully sleeping.

it’s muscle memory when he hangs his backpack on the backrest of your study chair before anything else. he also brought the paper bag you sent, putting it down on the floor.

he squats down infront of you, lightly prying away the phone you’re hugging to your chest and placing the device on the bedside table. the light is shining over your skin, and there are a thousand of photos and videos organized into the most treasured folder in his gallery, but not a single one of them will ever do you justice.

god, he missed you so much. it hasn’t been two years, but the life he had before he met you feels like an extremely distant memory.

he sighs, talking in hopes that he appears in your dreams. “how do you do this? you make it impossible not to love you.”

he unconsciously frowns at the sight of your puffy eyes. never again. never again. never again. he chants inside his head. he plants a kiss on each of your eyelids, taking his time to bask in the feeling of your weight under his lips.

he climbs on the opposite side of the bed, tucking you underneath the blanket before securely holding you from behind with his thigh hanging over yours. the warmth of your body and the scent of your shampoo cures the headache that’s been bothering him the whole day. he drifts off to sleep soon after.

—

the feather-light brushes through the silky locks of his hair pulls him out of his slumber half an hour later. he can make out your silhouette through his half-open eyes, the little-mermaid-like scene feels too vivid for a dream.

“why didn’t you wake me up?” you whine, sulking with a pout.

“i’m sorry.” he answers quietly, sitting up to engulf you in a tight embrace as endless apologies tumble from his tongue. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i gave up. i’m sorry that i hurt you. i’m so sorry… are you angry at me?”

“i’m upset.” you admit after a few beats, not seeing the point in sugarcoating it. “it hurts when i remember you saying that. and i understand you but… but i don’t like that you decided alone for us. if you do that again… then it will be over between us.”

he has an arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand firmly holding the back of your head. it’s a little hard to breathe, but it’s so reassuring to feel that he doesn’t want to let you out of his embrace. because you hated it — hated how it felt like letting you go was so easy.

“i regret everything. i’m sorry.” he whispers, concealing his tears by nuzzling his face on your neck. “and you’re not a burden. that’s not true.”

he knows that you mean your every word, so he lifts up his head to gaze directly into your eyes, showing that he is as sincere and true to his.

“from now on, all i’ll think about is what i can do to make you happy and safe without compromising our relationship… i’ll do better. i’ll love you better. i promise that i’ll be stronger for us. i won’t make the same mistake twice.”

you wish jungkook could be kinder to himself, treat himself with the same gentleness that comes so naturally with you. why is it that humans find loving themselves so laborious? why does being have to come with such a curse?

taking glimpses at the past, you should’ve been reminding him of these affirmations everyday.

“you don’t have to be strong all the time. i’m not asking for that.” you shake your head, voicing out yourself in a tone so soothing and illuminating. “i don’t want to go anywhere far away from you so think of yourself, too. i told you before, it’s okay to hold on to me. i’m also strong.”

jungkook feels so safe at home. he doesn’t remember what he was so worried of anymore.

“and you know what? if you really see it that way, then i’m telling you now. i want to waste my time on you. you can’t stop me.” your threatening eyes widen in conviction, provoking a sheepish smile to tug at the corners of his lips. “i always get what i want.”

“and you want me?” he innocently points at himself.

“love you.”

“i love you.” he replies, nosing at your neck before leaving a chaste kiss on your skin. “so much.”

“then put yourself in my shoes.” you hum, combing his hair with your fingers, lightly tugging to initiate eye-contact. “i want to take care of you just like how you want to take care of me. i think we have something rare and beautiful…” you pause, self-conscious about coming across as too needy now that you’re face-to-face, but an epiphany shatters your apprehension with a bow and an arrow.

this is what he needed to hear from you that day.

“so stay with me.”

jungkook’s vision becomes unfocused. he’s speechless; the only sound in the room is the humming of the airconditioner, but it’s almost as if you can hear the gears of his brain working their hardest. the pain that glossed his enchanting doe eyes has been replaced with a devotion you’ve never seen expressed so passionately in them before.

“all the time i own is yours.” he declares, cupping your face, the pad of his thumb daintily stroking your cheek. “all of it. we can do anything you want to do. let me make it up to you.”

“anything?” your face lights up with joy and mischief, and the butterflies in jungkook’s stomach come alive. he wants to make it his life’s mission to make you smile everyday; and that, he will do. “then i want you to kiss me.”

the sultriness of your enticing voice makes him go haywire. it’s been too damn long. he has forgotten what it feels like to kiss you. he slowly inches closer, his lips brushing against your lips before he pulls you in deeper, a fervent display of his yearning and apologies. he swallows the needy moan that escapes you as he slowly lays you down on the mattress, stripping off his shirt and mindlessly tossing it somewhere when you impatiently tug at it with another whimper. you cage his face in your hands, bringing back his lips on yours as if he’s the air that you breathe.

he wants to grieve for all the wasted time because everyday, he craved for this. to be honest, he forgets his name when he’s kissing you. outside, the crowds scream his name for being the best at what he does best, and he happily lives for the euphoria of it all. but in this room, there is only you and him. you communicate using the unspoken language of love with your lips. you bare the soft animal in yourselves with your teeth sinking in the other’s skin. you allow your rawest desires and truths to unravel with a slip of the tongue. he exists beyond his name, becomes an indecipherable enigma even to himself. what is the use of an explanation if there is no meaning anyway? all he knows is that he loves you despite all the reasons, against all the reasons.

he sneaks under your shirt, fingertips teasingly exploring your skin as if he’s drawing a map. he feels you quiver when he finally reaches your chest, gently kneading the soft flesh in his palm. this makes you mewl in pleasure, arching your back as your hand unconsciously curls around his wrist, the cotton fabric separating the two of you. the action electrifies jungkook, makes him lose himself a little more, which he didn’t think was still possible.

“touch me, please- jungkook. need you-” you choke out a desperate whimper, nearly sobbing as you guide his hand between your thighs. you can’t bear to spend another second untouched; the last time you made love feels like an eternity ago. he slips past the waistband of your underwear, the only article of clothing you’re wearing below. but to your disappointment, he gently caresses your hip bone instead of dipping his long fingers into your wetness.

“shh, hold on, baby-” he forces himself to break away from the kiss, swollen and red lips glistening with spit. “baby, look at me. you didn’t drink, right? i don’t want to take advantage.”

you gape at him with your chest heaving up and down, dumbfounded. “how could you even think of that right now?”

his eyes widen in panic, worried that he might’ve offended you. “no, no, no-” his palms skim your thighs, guiding them to wrap around his slim waist. you gasp when he presses up on you and his hard length rubs on your folds, sending jolts of electricity up your spine. a gush of arousal dampens the thin material covering your center.

“i want you so fucking bad that it hurts.” he gingerly wipes away the tears that you didn’t even notice streamed down to your temples. you can’t remember the last time you cried before today, they must’ve gotten tired of asking for your permission. “but you were crying when you called, baby. i had to make sure.”

“oh, my boyfriend is such a gentleman.” you muse dreamily. pepper his face with delicate kisses, lips curving upward with an adoring smile. “look at him enjoying my kisses.”

you playfully squeeze his cheeks together, making his pillowy lips pucker.

“you really wanted to break up with me in this case, huh? you wanted to live without me and my kisses? no way.”

his eyelids flutter open, and he shakes his head as he dips down to kiss you. “it was hell without you…” his teeth captures your bottom lip, nipping at the supple flesh. “going to build a life with you. i’ll build furniture, and they’re going to be ours.”

“good. you better.” your high-pitched giggles bounce off the walls as his lips trail down to your neck, licking a bold stripe over your ticklish spots. “i don’t have the patience for it, but i’ll be your trusty assistant.”

it’s ridiculous, how even the sound of your laughter turns him on even more.

—

jungkook learned that you finished your exams yesterday, having spent majority of the past two weeks pulling all-nighters to prepare for them. you seem to be confident about the results, the way you talked about it without concern. he never once doubted that you’re resolute and persevering, but acing your exams in the middle of a breakup is beyond what he can digest. it must’ve been a grueling experience, he can only imagine.

he presses a sweet kiss to your forehead, and then your lips, before dragging the blanket higher over your naked figure, a thicker one he brought out from the cabinet. poor thing, you fell asleep on his lap while he was drying your hair, incoherently murmuring about how tired you are.

he walks to your study space, fixing the loosening towel wrapped around his waist. one by one, he pulls out the items from the paper bag, returning them to their old places on your desk. he toothily grins at the windbreaker, ecstatic due to his plan on wearing it at work today. he wants to give it back to you smelling like him again.

an index card lands on the ground when he unfolds it, making him peer down in curiosity.

“what’s this?” he mumbles, bending down to pick it up.

jumbled thoughts. a letter shoved at the back of the mailbox. a hesitant confession. a bittersweet reminder that says: a wound does not magically disappear overnight. it requires the proper treatment to heal correctly, and even then, it might still leave a scar.

These are only a few of many. Why is this the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do? I’m usually the more logical one. Was it really so bad that we weren’t going anywhere?

and messily crossed out at the end,

I miss you.

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[venusloverblue]

Brewing Hearts

harry potter x reader

warning: fluff, fluff and fluff

word count: 1k

this is part 1, i will soon publish the next part, stay tuned!

You never thought that one day you would fall in love the way you did when you met Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the one everyone at school calls "the chosen one." It seemed cliché to you that love had knocked on your door along with him. Your friends thought it was romantic, but you, without a doubt, found it absurd. Why did it have to be him? There were so many boys to fall in love with, but no, your stupid heart wanted the one who didn’t even know you existed. Your life had become a bad tragicomedy; every time you crossed paths with him, you felt your body go numb and your voice disappear. Your best friend called it a “romantic attack.”

Today, you had Potions class with the not-so-beloved Professor Snape, and it was important that you didn’t miss it since you had to turn in an assignment you had been working on for weeks. You hated Potions classes; you never had the best results, and that was the root of your disdain for them.

You were running through the corridors with a backpack on your shoulder, heading to the classroom where the class would be held. You arrived just in time, right as the last Hufflepuff student entered. When you walked in, you scanned the room for your desk partner, but you didn’t find them. You thought you’d have to do the class alone, something you didn’t enjoy. When you got to your spot, the class was about to start, and at that moment, Professor Snape appeared and gave the task for the day: an assignment that had to be done in pairs.

― Professor Snape, my partner didn’t come. Who do I do the activity with? ― you asked after raising your hand and being given the floor.

― Well, you can do it with Mr. Potter, who is also alone ― he said with a disdainful expression when mentioning the boy you liked.

Your body froze. Of all the classes where something like this could have happened, it had to be in Potions. He was going to find out that you were good for nothing, that you weren’t at his level to even think of going out with him. You wished the ground would swallow you up and never spit you back out.

― Is everything alright, Miss Y/N? ― The professor’s question pulled you out of your thoughts. You nodded and turned to see Potter walking toward the seat next to you. You felt your heart stop; it was like a dream and a nightmare at the same time.

With the problem solved, Snape went to help some students who had requested his assistance. Meanwhile, in your section, Potter was getting ready to make the potion. Your mind was racing, trying to think of a way to start a conversation.

― So… they abandoned us, huh? ― you said with a nervous laugh.

― Yeah, it seems that way. Shall we start?

You nodded enthusiastically. In your mind, you promised yourself you would do your best so the potion wouldn’t end up a disaster. In just a few seconds, you both decided that Harry would handle the cauldron while you passed him the ingredients and read the instructions. This spared you from any embarrassing moments in front of him.

By the end of the class, your potion was bottled and ready to present. For some reason, you had a good feeling that you had done it right. When Snape approached your area and checked that everything was in order, he begrudgingly gave you an excellent grade. You couldn’t believe it; that had never happened to you in his class. You were so excited that you even hugged Harry. It took only a second for you to realize what you had done, and unfortunately for you, there was no turning back. You pulled away so fast it seemed like Harry had caught fire.

― I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I’m so excited that I didn’t notice. Forgive me, Harry ―. Concern and embarrassment were all over your face. You were about to pray for a hippogriff to come flying and take you away.

― Don’t worry, Y/N, it’s fine. We did a great job, and I liked working with you. We should do it again sometime ― he said with a smile crossing his face. Just when you thought you couldn’t be more in love with him, you received one of those smiles that made you want to cry with happiness.

Class ended, and everyone rushed to escape from the dungeons. In the hallway, you heard someone shouting your name. When you turned around, you saw Harry running towards you with something in his hand.

When he reached you, he stopped, a little out of breath.

― Y/N, you forgot your notebook.

You checked your backpack and realized he was right. You probably left it behind because you were thinking about him, something that didn’t surprise you at all.

― Yeah, you’re right. Thank you so much for bringing it to me ―. As you were about to say goodbye, Potter interrupted you.

― Would you like to go out with me sometime? We could go to Hogsmeade and have a drink at The Three Broomsticks, if you’d like.

It was either a joke or the best thing that had happened to you in a long time. You lost your voice and the ability to move; you were having a “romantic attack.” Before answering, you thought about the thousands of possibilities of what could happen if you said yes, and no matter how crazy it seemed, in all of them, the ending was a very happy one for you.

― I understand if you don’t wa…

― YES… yes, I’d like to go out with you sometime! ― You didn’t let him finish his sentence, shouting your response.

Harry couldn’t contain his smile of excitement.

― Great! How about next weekend? We could meet in the hall three hours before dinner.

― Sounds good, see you there then ― you said as you waved goodbye.

The moment you were out of his sight, you ran off to find your best friend to tell her about the long-awaited and desired moment.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Come See About Me

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Synopsis: Tom realizes he got you all wrong and slowly falls as he learns more about you during the press tour

Masterlist

“Oh shoot. I’m press with Y/n all week.” Tom said as he read an email from his team.

“Is that a bad thing?” Harry asked him.

“Not necessarily. I just don’t really know her that well. She was super reserved on set for the few days I shot with her. I wonder why they paired me with her.”

“Well, you’re the same age, right? The movie team probably just want to start romance rumors for publicity.”

“I don’t think that will happen. I barely got to know her during filming. I doubt anyone will see chemistry between us.” Tom replied. He started pacing around his hotel room and felt uncharacteristically nervous for the day ahead.

“Well for your sake, let’s hope you don’t see chemistry between you either.” Harry snorted.

“How do you mean?” Tom frowned.

“You know how messy relationships in the public eye can be. Just don’t go falling in love with this girl, okay? I do not want to watch you pine after your dark and mysterious costar.” Harry warned him.

“Psh. I won’t fall in love with her. That would never happen.” Tom scoffed and continued scrolling through his phone. He ended up on Instagram and saw that you had recently posted a photo. It was just a simple selfie in your hotel room which was probably just a few doors down from Tom’s. He found himself smiling and gave the photo a like. He may not have gotten to know you on set, but there’s no reason he couldn’t get to know you now.

“But if I did, why would that be bad?” Tom asked as he deep stalked your Instagram.

“The way I see it, there are two outcomes if you choose to pursue her. Option one is you get swept up in the excitement of promoting the movie and start reading into every little interaction between the two of you because that’s what the public is doing. So you convince yourself you’re in love with her and maybe she’ll even convince herself of the same thing. But once the press tour is over and you get to be with each other without any reason or purpose, you realize you never actually liked each other. And that’ll just end up breaking both your hearts. Even worse if only one of you realizes you never actually liked the other. God. That would be a nightmare.” Harry shivered.

“Okay.” Tom said slowly. “That was oddly specific. So what’s the other outcome?”

“You fall in love with her on this press tour and then it ends before you get a chance to tell her. So she flies off to film another movie and you’re stuck kicking yourself for not being honest with her sooner. And I’m stuck watching you whine about it.” Harry said simply.

“Or, hear me out, secret third option.” Tom proposed. “I fall for her and she falls for me and we have a great relationship. And maybe it lasts and maybe it doesn’t. But at least we gave it a shot. That could happen, right?”

“Maybe. But either way, she’s getting on a plane at the end of this press tour. And you can’t fall in love with someone who’s worlds away. Remember that.” Harry reminded him.

“I’m not gonna fall in love with her.” Tom insisted.

“Promise?” Harry asked skeptically.

“Yeah. Promise.” Tom said weakly. He looked at your picture one more time before shutting his phone off.

The next morning, Tom got into a black van that was going to take the cast to the building where the interviews were taking place. You got into the car shortly after with a huge smile on your face that Tom had never seen before. You were in a nice dress and full glam already, unintentionally earning yourself Tom’s full attention.

“Good morning.” You said enthusiastically as you sat in the seat beside him. He was slightly taken aback by how friendly you were being since he had only ever seen you being quiet and reserved.

“Oh, hello.” He smiled in surprise. “Good morning to you too, darling. How are you doing?”

“I’m really excited for today.” You admitted. “I haven’t done a big press tour like this before. I know they can be a little boring and repetitive but I can’t wait.”

“Yeah. These tours are pretty crazy. You get to see a lot of amazing places which is really cool. But you also get to answer the same question 100 times a day for a month straight. You’ll learn the highs and the lows pretty soon.”

“I’m ready for it all. But thanks for the warning. I appreciate any tips I can get.” You chuckled.

“You’re welcome. And don’t worry. You’ll get used to waking up at the crack of dawn and having a bunch of people you’ve never met poke you with makeup and hair stuff.”

“When?” You asked through a yawn. “Because I have a full face of makeup on before my brain is fully awake and it feels so very, very wrong.”

“Not soon enough.” He sighed. “I’ve learned to stay half asleep while the nice ladies apply my concealer.”

“Oh, so this complexion isn’t natural?” You teased and pointed to his face.

“Nope. You’re not the only one in full glam right now, darling.” He humored you, making you laugh.

“Careful. You don’t know if you can’t trust me yet. I might sell that piece of bad boy information to a news site and get you exposed.” You warned. It was Tom’s turn to laugh and he felt amazed that he had never seen this side of your personality before.

“I hope you don’t. I was just about to say that I’m glad I can share your first big press tour with you but now I feel we may have begun an enemies arch.”

“No. We can’t be enemies.” You whined playfully. “Because I was gonna say that I’m glad you’re here too. You always seem so relaxed and funny in interviews. I’m really hoping I don’t come off as nervous as I feel today.”

“Don’t worry. You won’t. It’ll feel just like a conversation.” He assured you. He was pleased to know you were a watcher of his interviews and wondered what else he’d uncover about you that day.

“Thank. I really appreciate you helping me with all this.”You said sincerely.

“It’s no trouble. If you have any other questions, just ask. I’ll help wherever I can.” He told you.

“Thanks, Tom.” You smiled at him. He smiled back and suddenly remembered what Harry had said the night before about not falling in love with you. Tom was just one conversation in and already struggling to keep his promise.

Once the van arrived at the building, you and Tom had makeup touch ups and were then sent into the junket room.

“Wow. I haven’t seen the poster yet.” You gasped and touched the poster with gentle fingertips. Tom watched you admiring it and smiled when he saw how proud you looked.

“You look good up there. I hope to see you on more posters.” He said and nudged you slightly.

“Like in Playboy?” You asked and looked insulted.

“What?” Tom gulped. “No, no, no. I didn’t-“

“I’m just messing with you.” You cut him off and nudged him back. He felt his hearts too racing and cracked a smile.

“You really had me for a second there, darling. I didn’t realize you had such a sense of humor. I guess I never heard you say much on set.”

“Thats because I found it hard to shake my character after filming all day. I guess I’m not used to separating that yet. I loved my character and all but I’m so glad to be done shooting her. She’s so dark and dramatic. It really affected my mood on set.” You told him as you both sat down in your chairs.

“Oh, wow. So you’re not quiet? You were just in character?”

“Quiet? I’ve never been described as quiet.” You laughed. “I was just in my emo phase on set because the material I was shooting was so dark. It bummed me out all day.”

“But you’re not bummed out today?” He asked with a coy smile.

“Fuck no. I’m ready to party.” You whispered to him just as the journalist came in. He burst out laughing at the unexpected expletive and earned himself a look from the journalist.

“Well alright then.” He chuckled.

That was the first of many times you made Tom laugh that day. The more interviews you did together, the more he learned about you and your personality. He paid attention to every anecdote and personal story you shared and was more and more fascinated each time.

When it came time for day two of the press tour, he could not wait to get back in there with you. The interviews were in the hotel that day and Tom got to the junket room first. When you got there, you handed him a hot cup of tea.

“For you.” You smiled and sat beside him. Tom looked at you curiously and you gestured for him to sip it. He took a sip and widened his eyes when he tasted it.

“This is exactly how I take my tea.” He said incredulous.

“I know. I was listening when you ordered at breakfast yesterday.” You said proudly.

“Thank you, darling. I really appreciate that.” He smiled fondly at you before taking another sip.

“Well I wanted to thank you for all your help yesterday.” You smiled shyly. “I was really nervous yesterday until we talked in the car. You made my first press day really memorable. So I did the normal courtesy of eavesdropping on you and brought you your favorite tea.”

“That was very kind of you. And you made my day yesterday a lot better than I was expecting so I should be thanking you too.”

“Then I’ll loudly tell someone else my favorite way to drink tea so that you can eavesdrop and surprise me.” You joked as the journalist walked in.

“How are you guys doing today?” The journalist asked to start the interview.

“I’m doing really well now that Y/n brought me tea.” Tom answered and took another sip.

“I’m also doing really well but because Tom didn’t bring me tea.” You said and looked at Tom to see if he found it funny.

“Why would that make you happy?” He laughed.

“Because I hate tea.” You shrugged.

“What? Don’t you know that is the worst thing you can say to an English person? And you just told me you had a favorite tea.”

“That was a joke. I actually hate tea.” You admitted.

“How can anyone hate tea?” Tom asked in exasperation.

“It’s just like hot, flavored water. I don’t understand what’s good about it. I hate soup too.“

“Soup too?” Tom gasped and pretended to clutch his petals.

“I think soup is so nasty. Why would I ever want to eat hot blended food?”

“If you hate soup and you hate tea, then what do you do when you’re sick?”

“I watch Fantastic Mr. Fox under my covers like a normal person.” You answered, making him laugh.

“This is very disturbing information to learn so early in the morning. You’ve surprised me, darling.”

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this.” You shrugged with a laugh.

The next day, Tom was pleased to see you already waiting in your chair for the interview to start. You were texting on your phone but looked up when he came into the room. Your makeup artists was touching up your lipstick so you couldn’t smile at him and opted for a wink. He found himself blushing at the wink and sat beside you.

“Morning, darling.”

“Good morning. No tea today?” You teased.

“I’ve already had my tea, for your information. I chugged it while I got my makeup done.”

You laughed but he wasn’t actually kidding about getting his makeup done. He was just happy that it made you laugh. Your makeup artists finished up and you checked your makeup in your phone camera.

“You look pretty.” Tom said before he could stop himself. You looked over at him in surprise before smiling.

“Why, thanks. So do you.” You said and shot him another wink. He blushed and looked down at his lap at the compliment.

“God, I’m gonna be thinking about lunch this entire interview.” You whispered to him.

“You didn’t eat at the craft service table?”

“I can’t eat that early in the morning.” You waved your hand. “It makes me nauseous. Now I’m wishing I did though. My kingdom for a cheese stick.”

“I hate cheese.” Tom grimaced.

“What? Even in stick form?” You asked him.

“Even in stick form.” He humored you. “And you can’t judge me because you hate the two most comforting foods on earth.”

“I’m judging you so hard right now.” You mumbled. Tom laughed as an idea came to him.

Before your next interview, Tom made a quick stop at the bakery across the street. You were already in the room waiting to start by the time he got back. He quickly fixed his hair before holding out a little brown paper bag.

“For you.” He said with a bashful smile.

“What is this?” You asked as you took the bag.

“Open it.” He said as he sat beside you. You gave him a curious look before opening the bag.

“Scone?” You gasped and looked up at him.

“Scone!” He smiled proudly.

“You got me a scone? Why?” You wondered and took the stone out of the bag.

“Because it was easier to find than a cheese stick.” He chuckled.

“I love you.” You cupped his chin before taking a bite of the scone. Tom froze and felt his face turn bright red at your words. You realized he had gone quiet and looked over at him.

“Sorry. Was it too soon to say that?” You asked with a mouthful of scone.

“I think so. Aren’t you supposed to wait three months?” He chuckled and touched a cold hand to his burning face.

“Too bad. The introduction of the scone sped up our relationship and now we’re in love.” You shrugged and took another bite. Tom laughed again and looked down at his laugh.

“So, uh, speaking of our relationship. Have you seen the way fans have been shipping us since our last few interviews hit the Internet? How weird is that?” He said and forced a laugh. He didn’t actually find it weird, he just wanted it see how you felt about the possibility of a relationship.

“I was actually deep into the fan edits last night to be perfectly honest with you.” You said through a laugh.

“Were you?” He asked in surprise.

“I was. And I heard that we’ve been secretly dating since May. Did you know that?”

“I did. I forgot to tell you. I’m sorry, darling. It must’ve slipped my mind.” He played along.

“That’s okay. I can’t be mad at you since you blessed me with a scone.”

The journalist came in once you had finished your scone and the interview began. Tom was barely paying attention to the questions and only focused on hearing your answers. He loved that he wasn’t getting to learn new things about you that he was too shy to ask.

“Unpopular opinion?” The journalist asked.

“A lot of people think cats are girls and dogs are boys but the real take here is that all seagulls are boys.”

“Woah, what? What makes all seagulls boys?” Tom asked you.

“A girl would never act like that.” You said simply, making Tom laugh.

“My unpopular opinion is that Y/n’s best movie is Look Mom, No Hands.” Tom said, making you burst out laughing.

“I know you did not just bring up my Disney Chanel original movie from when I was 11.”

“Yes I did. Because I watched it last night and I cried when you made the winning goal even after your glasses broke from the soccer ball hitting you in the face.”

“Oh my God.” You laughed. “The drama.”

“It was! The opposing team totally kicked it into your face on purpose because they knew you were the underdog. But nevertheless, she persisted. You made the winning goal and your team won the championship.”

“Wow. Way to spoil my movie from 15 years ago. And why were you even watching that?”

“Because I needed to know who I was working with everyday. It’s a part of your lore. Now that I know you’ve starred in a DCOM, I know I can trust you.”

“I was not the star. Bridget Mendler was the star. I was just the quirky best friend.” You reminded him, making Tom laugh.

“Well you were the only one I was looking at, okay darling? You were the star for me.” He said as he looked over at you. You smiled at his answer and nodded your head.

“Good answer. Favorite snack?” The journalist asked.

“Oh no. You’re gonna think I’m weird.” You smiled sheepishly.

“What? I could never, darling. What is it?” Tom asked and turned in his chair to face you.

“I put mustard on popcorn.” You grimaced.

“What the hell?” Tom’s nose scrunched in disgust.

“See! I knew you’d think I was a little freak.”

“Mustard? On popcorn? Why would anyone do that?”

“You’re thinking it’s worse than it is. Yellow mustard on lightly salted popcorn is really good, okay? Don’t knock it until you try it.”

“You’re gonna have to make it for me. Because I cannot imagine it’s good.” Tom shook his head.

“If I can get my hands on some mustard during this press tour, I will be at your door in a heartbeat.”

“It’s a date.”Tom replied, making you smile.

“It better be.” You answered, and he returned the smile.

Tom was fully in it now. Every second that he wasn’t with you, you were the only thing on his mind. You started spending your evenings together and grabbed dinner every night after your interviews. He was falling fast and getting worse and worse at hiding it. He posted a photo of the two of you that the paparazzi had taken while you were out to dinner and captioned it “I’d wait out in the cold all night just to take pictures of her too”. He tagged you and it wasn’t long before you were in his comments saying “he’s so obsessed with me it’s honestly embarrassing”. He smiled at the comment and wrote back “yes, and?” before going to bed.

The press tour was coming to an end and on the last day, Tom walked into the junket room to find only one chair in the room.

“Oh. No Y/n?” Tom asked his manager.

“Nope. Solo interviews today.” They replied. Tom faked a smile and sat in his chair. He hoped his disappointment wasn’t as obvious as it felt as he gave the interview alone. He did a few more solo interviews throughout the day and eventually got to his last one. It wasn’t long before the door opened up and you walked into the room with Tom’s water bottle.

“Hi. I’m crashing. Sorry.” You smiled sheepishly and walked into the room.

“That’s quite all right. Do you want a chair?” The journalist asked you.

“I’m good.” You smiled politely and sat on Tom’s knee. He immediately blushed and looked up at you.

“What are you doing here, darling?” Tom grinned.

“I finished early so I brought you juice.” You said and handed him the water bottle.

“What? No way.” He smiled in appreciation and opened up the water bottle to see apple juice inside.

“Juice!” You cheered.

“Juice!” He echoed. “Thank you, darling. What a nice surprise.”

“Well I had to get you back for the scone.“ You told him.

“So Tom, I have to ask about your Instagram post from yesterday. You tagged Y/n in an interesting place, Tom. Care to comment on that?” The journalist asked now that you had joined the interview.

“He tagged me there because it’s where you can usually find me.” You chuckled.

“Wait, I’m lost? Where did I tag her?” Tom asked. You and the journalist exchanged a look before you pulled out your phone to show Tom his own post from the night before. He had accidentally tagged you right on his crotch, making him turn red when he saw his mistake. And when he pieced together what you meant by what you had just said, he turned even redder.

“Oh my God. I swear, I’m just Instagram stupid. I didn’t mean to tag her there.” Tom explained.

“Yes he did. He tagged me in my location. Because that’s where I am.” You kept up the joke just to tease him.

“Where?” The journalist laughed.

“On Tom’s dick.” You shrugged. Tom covered his red face with his hands as you and the journalist laughed.

“People know that about me. If they can’t find me, they don’t ask “hey where’s Y/n?” because they already know where I am. It’s my happy place. My sanctuary. My home away from home.” You continued.

“No. No more. My mum watched these.” He playfully scolded you.

“Hey, you started this.” You reminded him.

“And I’m ending it.”

“Actually, I’m the one who has to end it. That’s all the time we have. Thanks guys.” The journalist said. The last interview was done, meaning the press tour was officially over. You stood up and adjusted your skirt before looking at Tom. He smiled softly but felt his disappointment return. The tour was over which meant today was his last day with you. He knew you’d keep in touch, but it would never be like this again, and that’s made him sad.

Instead of wallowing in his sadness, Tom did something about it. He stopped by the corner store before making his way to your hotel room. In his way there, he ran into his brother Harry. Harry took one look at the bag of popcorn in his hands and knew what was happening.

“You fell in love with her, didn’t you?” Harry snorted.

“Shut up.” Tom groaned. “I can still fire you.”

“You did the one thing you said you wouldn’t do. Now look at you. One your way to eat the most American combination of foods I have ever seen. You’re a disgrace to your homeland.”

“I couldn’t help it, okay? She made me fall for her. It’s all her fault, really. Now leave me alone. I have a girl to surprise with a disgusting snack.” Tom said and went on his way. He took a deep breath before knocking on your door. You opened your door for him and he held up his bag of supplies.

“Hey, you. What’s this?”You raised an eyebrow.

“Mustard and popcorn. You little freak.” He said with a teasing smile. Your lips curved into a smile as you stared at him.

“Get in here.” You instructed.

He went into your room and shut the door behind him as you poured the bag popcorn into two bowls. He did his best to hide his disgust as you squirt mustard over them both.

“Here. You’re gonna love this.” You said as you handed him his bowl.

“It smells like mustard.” He grimaced.

“Well, that’s 50% of the ingredients.”

“Okay. I’m doing it. I’m eating one.” He said and popped a mustard covered piece of popcorn into his mouth. You watched him as he chewed it and could tell he hated it.

“Well?” You asked.

“I’m gonna throw up.” He answered.

“Spit it out.” You laughed.

“No. You like this so I’m gonna force myself to like it too.” He said a begrudgingly swallowed the popcorn. You laughed at him but your smile slowly faded and you looked a little upset.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked you.

“I don’t know. I’m feeling kinda down tonight.” You told him.

“You are? What’s bothering you?”

“I guess I’m just sad the tours over. I don’t like when things end.” You admitted with a sad smile.

“I’m sad it’s over too. They usually exhaust me but I don’t know. I particularly enjoyed this one.” Tom replied sheepishly without meeting your eyes.

“You did?” You asked as you ate your popcorn.

“I did. Mostly because I enjoyed getting to know you.” He admitted and finally looked up at you. You smiled in surprise and scooted closer to him. Tom gulped and looked down at his lap. The tour was officially over so if he didn’t want you to get on a plane without ever knowing how he felt, he was gonna have to speak now.

“You know, before the tour started, my brother made me promise that I wasn’t gonna fall for you.” Tom admitted.

“What?” You laughed softly. “Why would he make you promise that?”

“I don’t know. He said it would only end in two ways.” Tom said and looked into your eyes with a sheepish smile.

“Which were?” You wondered.

“We get caught up in the excitement of the movie so we start a fling and then breakup when the tour ends.”

“Well that didn’t happen. So what was the other option?”

“I fall for you and never tell you. And the tour ends and you get on a plane and I regret it for the rest of my life. But I guess that option didn’t happen either since I told you.” He said as he never dropped your gaze. You stared into his eyes for a moment as you processed what he had just admitted.

“Well, what if there was a secret third option?”

“Secret third option?” Tom asked with intrigue.

“I mean, just because the tour is ending that doesn’t mean it has to be the end of you and me, does it?” You said and leaned in even closer.

“It doesn’t?” He gulped at your close proximity.

“I don’t think so. And look. You bought me food. That makes this is our first date.” You explained as you held up your bowl of popcorn.

“Well I’m happy to hear that but don’t expect a kiss with your mustard breath.” Tom mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.

“What was that?” You played along.

“I said you’re so pretty and I have a giant crush on you and want us to be together.” He said quickly.

“Much better.” You smiled and popped some popcorn into your mouth.

Tag List 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@peterparkoure

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr

@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant

@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona

@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom

@pandaxnienke

 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours

@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85

@olixerwxxd @leilanixx

@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940

@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing

@mathletemadison  

@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr

@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu

@ciarahollands

@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy

[pixiesfz]

so long london v.m x r

plot: the lead up to vivs departure

warning: mostly fluff and some angst

You were mad.

Furious.

You knew another contract wasn’t going to be made for Viv when she came home and told you that he never played her at Everton.

She had scored the most goals whilst being managed under his name, she was amazing at the game. She was a defender's worst nightmare.

You would know you used to be one.

It was when you played for City. No matter how hard you tried, every single game she scored past you. It made you angry whenever her name was on their starting sheet but of course, she would have been on the starting sheet.

She was the best number 11 the WSL had ever had.

Your hate grew into an admiration for the Dutch whenever she shook your hand with a smile “Good match” she would always say “Good goal” you said back, and she shrugged “You made it very hard for me”.

You both would laugh before returning to your teams.

You never realized that your cheeks blushed whenever she shook your hand a bit too long or smiled whenever the ball turned around and she had to turn into a defensive player.

She always used her hands to hold your hips after you got rid of the ball, stopping herself from bodying you over.

You were both relatively shy off the field, whenever there was an event and the teams were allowed to talk you both never talked together by yourselves, always just in a group of people but you always found yourselves looking at one another.

It drove your teammates insane.

Then when the next season arose you were told you would be put on loan to Arsenal, just for a season to let you have more experience with other players as you took over for Leah Williamson as she was out with an ACL injury. You were Manchester blue through and through.

You would be welcome back at any time.

When the news was announced you got many supportive messages from both red and blue teams. Steph, your captain wishes you luck, some of the younger girls shuttered you wouldn’t be there to sneak them treats at games, and some of the Arsenal girls were excited about your arrival.

You quickly become friends with Katie, also already being friends with your Australian teammates.

You were very excited when Viv’s name popped up on your phone late at night.

Viv_miedema: Welcome to Arsenal, I’m very happy you're on my team now even if it is just for a short while (:

You blushed and replied, thanking her.

It wasn’t long until you were training, film camera near you to document your first training. It wasn’t too bad, you were comfortable, but you had to stop yourself from yelling out the wrong names at certain times.

Katie laughed at you when you stuttered with a name but Viv slyly walked from behind and whispered their name from behind you.

“Vivvy the hero” Katie cooed before the tall women walked away, unbeknownst to you with blushed cheeks.

The first week was over and you had opted to sit out on the first game, choosing to sit next to Leah on the bench so you both could analyse and she could teach you more about the team. You were scared the English Captain would not want to help you, scared you would be replacing her but she was nice.

She wanted what was best for her team and she knew it was you.

Your homework session had worked when at training you had easily gotten the ball off a majority of your teammates and kicked it away.

Viv watched you with a smile, determination written on your face.

Katie, her defender scoffed “What?” Viv asked “I can’t believe I didn’t notice this until now,” she said and Viv quirked her brows “What?” she questioned again and Katie gave her a deadpan look “You have a crush on City” she said, using her nickname she gave you.

Viv widened her eyes “No” her voice grew quiet “and Katie covered her mouth in shock “Oh my god you actually fucking do” she said, excitement taking over her as Viv slapped her arm “Shoosh” she shushed Katie.

“How long?”

“We are at training.”

“Balls at the other end”

“Katie” Viv grumbled and Katie laughed, already scheming in her mind.

You were happy in the training, making sure to high-five Leah who laughed at the energy you still had.

Caitlin slapped your back in the changing room as you were untying your shoes “I have an idea” she started off and you shook your head “No, your ideas suck”

“This is a good idea I promise,” she told you and you looked at Steph for help who looked away “Don’t drag me into this”.

You sighed and sat up “what is it?”

“Wanna come on a double date with me?” she asked and you stood up to walk away but she grabbed your wrist, sitting you back down “Please? She asked again, giving you puppy eyes and you sighed “Who is it?” you asked, and the girl clapped her hands, excitedly.

She never told you who the girl you were going on a date with looked like she just told you it was one of Katie's friends, which made you feel a bit better. Katie had a good eye and would only befriend people with good intentions.

“Not that I want to start dating a total stranger but how do I look?” you asked Caitlin and Steph who were sitting on the couch waiting for you to finish getting ready.

You wore a simple pair of denim jeans and a nice-fitting top that sat nicely around your arms. Your hair was up but it was curled.

“You look nice” Steph smiled and Caitlin smirked at her phone “You might need to bring a jacket” Steph yelled out when you turned to your room “No!”

“Your date must give you theirs”.

“I might just put one in the car though, girls are usually the same size so it won’t be oversized Stephy,” you said, using hand gestures to make Caitlin laugh “I’m just trying to romanticize this up a little bit okay, leave me alone”

“All right, we will cause we got to go”.

You played with your fingers in the car, tempted to text Viv asking her to pick you up as Caitlin drove.

The more you thought about it the more you wanted to be in her presence rather than a random girl you had never met in North London.

“Here”

You looked up to Caitlin who looked back at you with a smile, comforting you “Okay” you replied and walked out of the car “Katie and the girl is already there” Caitlin told you as you both walked in “Why don’t you use her name-“ you trailed off before you saw a smirking Katie and a dazed Viv.

“What?” Caitlin smirked “You didn’t think I picked up on your little crush, I’ve noticed this since you were still at City”

“I’m going to kill you,” you told her before you walked up to the two girls “hey babe,” Caitlin said, kissing Katie on the cheek as you and Viv looked at each other “uh hi” you blushed and Viv’s hands rubbed over her thighs “Hi” she smiled back.

Katie and Caitlin looked at you both hesitantly, scared they had crossed a line but when you sat down and filled both of your cups with water they knew they had just given you the right push you both needed.

Now for their last step.

“I actually wasn’t feeling that good” Katie piped up and Caitlin placed her hand on top of yours “Really, should we get you back home?”

Caitlin definitely was not an actor.

“Yeah maybe” Katie sighed, and Viv turned around “Should I take you back?” she asked and Katie shook her head “I drove so I can take her back myself,” Caitlin said “You two stay, Viv can drive you back later,” Katie said before they both quickly got up and walked away, you and Viv watched as they giggled with each other through the window.

“Do they know-“ “No they definitely do not” Viv answered your question as you both laughed “How are you?” you asked the girl who sat up “You don’t want to leave?” she questioned and you shook your head “I mean we’re already here and Caitlin left her card” you smirked, holding up the card that your friend had left on the table.

Viv smirked and then laughed “That’s good because I didn’t want to leave either,” she said and you blushed “Well that’s good”.

You both would label that as your first date, even if it wasn’t planned by the both of you but it didn’t stop you both from going on more. It was on the fourth date that Viv acted differently and it worried you a bit, she was short with her answers and kept on fumbling with her hands.

It was in the car when you figured out “Are you okay?” You asked and she furrowed her eyebrows “Of course” she said and you nodded “You’re just acting a little bit weird I guess” You shrugged and Viv opened her mouth to answer but nothing came out “Viv?” you asked and she shook her head “Can you close your eyes?” she asked with a blushed face, she usually wasn’t the one to blush so you smiled “okay” you obliged and closed your eyes, facing her.

You felt her soft hands grasp your chin and your lips parted at the feeling before she leaned her lips to yours, you smiled before reaching your own hands out to her and pulling her a bit closer as you kissed for the first time, you both smiled into the kiss and only leaned away when you both had to breathe.

“You don’t have to be nervous to kiss me” you assured her and pulled her in again and she graciously kissed you back.

Since Viv technically kissed you first, you decided you would be the one to pop the question for the Dutchie to be your girlfriend. It was on a rare free day and instead of being incognito at the men's City game, you took her to the restaurant where you went on your first date.

“This is cute” Viv hummed as you took her to the same table you sat at the first time, still with two spare seats next to you to represent your missing friends.

You fumbled with your rings the entire time as you waited for the right time to ask her but Viv being the most observant person ever reached her hands out to yours, covering them “Are you okay?” she asked and you nodded your head “yep” you said, your voice squeaky.

Viv quirked her brow at you, not believing you and you took a deep breath “I was just wondering” you said before Viv smiled at you, calming you “If you would like to be my official girlfriend?”

Viv squeezed your hands and smiled “I thought you would never ask” she teased you “You knew!” you realized and she shrugged “Katie is very bad at keeping secrets”.

Viv felt like home.

So when your loan had finished and you had to choose between City and Arsenal you chose to stay at Arsenal for another six months on a contract.

You watched as one night Viv landed weirdly on her knee, her knee had been bothering her weirdly and this would definitely not help. Then when she had felt slightly better Jonas put her back on the field.

You hoped it wouldn’t be too early.

And It almost felt like everything would be fine, especially when she shot a goal against Liverpool, you were quick to run from the other end of the field to jump in her arms.

“I’m so proud of you” you whispered into her ear and used your arms to hide yourself kissing the side of her neck.

She laughed, squeezing you and light-heartedly telling you to get back to your position.

Then she was sent off, Alessia going on for her, you saw her wobble on her knee.

You went off shortly after, subbing on for Leah as she had returned from injury.

You sat next to her on the bench, laying your jacket over both of your legs before reaching your hand down to draw circles on her knee which she nodded at you..

You should’ve seen the signs from Jonas that he was trying to ice Viv out and you hated yourself for not. You held her in her house when she sobbed into your shirt, scared that her knee was going to end her career.

All you could do was hold her.

You were frustrated for her, even when her knee was healed Jonas still didn’t play her, at first you thought it was out of fear but it wasn’t until the last Everton game you realized it could be because he just purely didn’t want to.

You were near the boundary line, watching as Viv stood up, ready to go on and you smiled at her, she smiled back with a nod. Fans cheered as they thought Viv was returning to the field and so did you.

Your smile fell as you watched Jonas walk up to her and pull her back forcefully, turning her to the bench.

You felt hot, anger that had been bubbling had now spilled over, all you saw was red and it wasn’t because you had Arsenal girls surrounded before you.

“Oi!” you yelled out to Jonas as Viv also defended herself “Touch her like that again and I’ll fucking quit! You want to win? Put her on!”

You ran away back to your position, immediately regretting your actions as Katie patted your back “I’m sorry” you said and she crossed her head “Don’t be” was all she said before running back to her spot.

Jonas took you off after the next goal, Lotte going on after you.

You felt defeated as you looked at your manager, tears pricking at your eyes as you could’ve just possibly ruined your career. You were only brought back into reality when a comforting hand grabbed yours.

Viv who also had tears in her eyes “Can we leave?” you ask and she nodded as you both shook hands with your teammates on the bench and walked through the tunnel to go home.

When you reached Viv’s home she turned to you, locking the doors.

“How long do you have left of your contract?” she asked and you threw your head back, trying to remember “End of the season”

“He’s not giving me a new contract” she admitted and you shot up “Viv-“ “City always said they’d have you back right?” she asked and you nodded your head “I get reminded every transfer season”

“I’m leaving Arsenal,” she said as if it was the first time she had admitted it to yourself.

“I don’t want to be at Arsenal if there’s no you,” you told her and she smiled, tears now starting to run down her face “What about at City?” Viv asked and you smiled “really?” you ask and she nodded

“I want to play with you- I want to stay with you.”

[munson-blurbs]

Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries

Day 1 of TUI-Mas

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), unprotected p in v, breeding kink and lots of it, fingering, oral (f! receiving)

WC: 2k

Divider credit to @saradika

October 1998

Your head rests on Eddie’s thigh, cheek pressed against the cotton sweatpants serving as his pajamas. His fingertips dance along your shoulder in comforting circles, the other hand digging into a bag of peanut M&Ms and dropping several into his mouth at once. 

Harris is sleeping in bed, his little eyes having drifted closed halfway through his second bedtime story. You’d laughed softly, kissed his forehead, and closed the door as quietly as you could. 

On the TV screen, Phoebe Buffay prepares to give birth to triplets while Joey’s learned that his sympathy pains are actually kidney stones. 

The candy shell crunching ceases as Eddie speaks over the characters’ dialogue. “You ever think about that?” he asks, jerking his chin towards the monitor. 

“Having three babies at once?” You wrinkle your nose, tugging the fleece blanket up a bit higher. You adjust your position so you can see his chocolate-smudged lips. “Only in my nightmares.”

Eddie laughs, but his smile doesn’t quite reach his doe eyes. “N-No, just, like…having a baby?” His front teeth scrape his lower lip nervously while he awaits your response. 

You shrug. “Yeah, I mean, I definitely want to have kids with you. And I know Harris is dying for a sibling to play with,” you add teasingly, though your words are true. He’d come home from school last week claiming that his friend Joshua’s mommy was having another baby, lamenting that it wasn’t fair because Joshua already had a sister. “I can’t wait to add some more Munsons to our little family.”

“Okay, yeah,” Eddie nods, swallowing thickly. “So, um, what exactly are we waiting for?”

The question makes you sit up, pushing yourself with your palms, so you can look him in the eyes. “We’ve only been married for a few months…” you trail off, unsure what to say next, but it doesn’t matter because Eddie leans in and silences you with his lips on yours. Tiny, passionate kisses, his smile rendering him unable to draw them out longer. 

“I’m ready whenever you are,” he murmurs, nose gently bumping yours. Four fingers are tucked behind your ear, his thumb delicately grazing your cheek. “There’s no rush, ‘kay? No Baby Munsons until you’re totally on board.”

“What if I’m ready, too?” You kiss him, body buzzing with nerves just from having this conversation. An excited giggle slips out, and you drape your arms over his shoulder to straddle his waist. “What if I want to start trying?”

Eddie throws his head back and laughs; he swears he’s hit the jackpot with you. “Then I say…to hell with those pesky birth control pills.” He kisses you again, peppering them all over your face and neck. “C’mon, Sweetheart. Let’s make a baby.”

It’s a few weeks later when Eddie breezes through the apartment door after work, kicking off his Reeboks in the general direction of the hall closet. His weary expression shifts to a joyous one when he sees you walk out of the bedroom with a knowing grin on your face. 

“What’s that little smirk for, hmm?” he teases, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you towards him. An autumn chill sticks to his leather jacket; you shiver as the cold fabric brushes your bare arms. “And where’s the other troublemaker?”

“Harris is at Wayne’s for the night,” you tell him, stepping back slightly and briefly lacing your fingers with his before grabbing something from the back pocket of the jeans you immediately changed into after work. “This little line means that I’m currently ovulating,” you quickly explain, not wanting him to confuse it with another important test. 

Eddie’s grin could split his cheeks in half. “So…so that means…” his eyes shine bright with anticipation. “It’s baby-making time?”

You giggle at his phrasing. “Yes, Eddie,” you confirm through peals of laughter. “It’s baby-making time.”

Eddie’s lips crash onto yours in an instant. He groans into the kiss, hands instinctively grabbing your ass to pull you closer. Your own fingers grasp his jacket by the zipper teeth, tugging it off of his body and letting it fall to the floor unceremoniously. His hands snake underneath your sweater, eyes widening when he touches supple skin rather than the underwire of a bra.

“Mhm,” you bite your lower lip and nod, gasps of pleasure caught in your throat as his thumbs brush against your nipples, giving them a small tweak. He grins at your reaction, more than satisfied to be catching you off-guard. 

“Y’know,” he muses, not straying from your breasts, “I won’t be able to be so rough with ‘em once I knock you up. They’ll be extra sensitive, and I gotta take care of my girl.” The sweater is a hindrance, burying the treasure he so desperately desires, so you shed it without a second thought.

He stares at your bare torso for a moment, enthralled with your body even after all this time. Like a vampire lusting for blood, his teeth sink just below your areola, nipping and sucking sloppily until the underside of your breast is dripping with his saliva. “C’mere,” he growls, taking a breath and leading you into the bedroom.

You’ve never seen Eddie this hungry for you; his lips and tongue and hands trailing along your curves and leaving goosebumps in their path. It’s as though he can’t decide where to touch you and with what.

All articles of clothing–both yours and his–are long gone by the time your bodies tangle in the bedsheets. The only word you can manage is his name, so you whisper it over and over again. 

Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. 

His body towers over yours, middle finger gliding up and down your folds, gathering your slick and rubbing deliberate circles on your clit. Your trembling legs fuel his own passion, his erection flush against his tummy and leaking pre-cum. 

“You need me inside you, Sweetheart?” Eddie coos, letting his finger drift down towards your wanting hole. When you nod pathetically, unable to string together a sentence, he laughs. “I’d normally make you beg, but seeing as you’re gonna be carrying my baby, I’ll let it slide.” He lays down, hissing at the glorious pressure against his cock. “In fact, I’m gonna make sure my girl gets everything she needs tonight.”

Soft lips wrap around your swollen bud while his middle and ring fingers stretch you deliciously. You buck your hips, using his face to draw you towards what you suspect will be your first of multiple orgasms. 

The only sound lewder than your wanton moans is the schlick of his fingers pulsing in and out, soaked with your arousal. You let yourself float away, relishing in the comfort of his control. 

“F-Fuck, Eddie…” you sputter, arching your back and hooking your grasp into his curls. He smiles against your pussy as you clench around his fingers. 

“Thassit, honey.” He breaks his rhythm for a split second to encourage you, resuming his pace like he’d never stopped. Maybe it stems from his musical prowess, or maybe he simply knows your body that well. You love this man, and you swear you’ll do anything to give him a baby.

You come undone moments later, taking everything you need without hesitation. Eddie lowers you from the high and kisses down your thighs, your arousal smeared on his pursed lips.

“Need you to do me a favor,” he says, shifting his body so his eyes gaze directly into yours, pupils blown out with lust. “Need you to bend your legs and hold onto your knees. Can you do that for me, Sweetheart?”

You nod, bringing your knees to your chest and hugging them tight. Eddie’s breath hitches, taking in the view of you, glistening and on display just for him.

“Fuckin’...perfect…” he groans, running his hardened length along you, slowly pushing in. “Gettin’ to watch your pretty pussy cream my cock…shit…’s my favorite fuckin’ sight, I swear.” He grips your hips so tightly that it pinches a bit, pain indistinguishable from pleasure.

He’s entranced in a way you haven’t seen before, despite the multitude of times he’s already had you in this position. Your eyes fill with emotion when the realization hits: you and Eddie could make a baby right now. A little being that’s half-him and half-you. 

“‘S everything okay?” he asks, one hand moving from your waist to gently brush away a rogue tear slipping down your cheek.

“Mhm,” you answer, laughing and crying at the same time. “I’m just really happy that this is for real. No more pretending; we’re actually doing this to expand our family.”

Eddie swoops down to kiss you, a few soft pecks punctuated with a long, intimate embrace. “I love you so much.” He says it as a promise, not a simple statement. “You’re mine and I’m yours, and I never want you to forget that.” He resumes thrusting, pulling almost all the way out and leaving just the tip inside you, before sinking back in. The movement draws a whine from deep within you, and he wears it as a badge of honor. “That’s my girl, my sweet girl, gonna have my baby.”

Sweat trickles down the bridge of his nose and drips onto your chest between your breasts. He bites his lip in determination. “Shit, ‘m close already,” he mumbles, smiling as he adds, “kinda wish I didn’t have to cum so we could stay like this, but, uh, that would defeat the purpose, huh?”

Your eyes crinkle at the corners as you giggle, which only further spurs him on. “You get tighter when you laugh, fuck, babe.” But he’s laughing with you, stopping for a second to get his bearings. “I gotta stay focused! Trying to make a baby over here!” His palms flex on your knees before gripping them again.

“I’m sorry!” You’re not, and neither is he, the two of you soaking in the comfort of being with the person you trust completely and love wholeheartedly. 

“Okay, okay,” he says, wiping perspiration from his brows with the back of his hand. “Let’s get back on track.” His thrusts resume slowly as he once again grows harder within your walls, gradually quickening in pace. 

Everything is overwhelming; the way he feels inside you, the sweetly possessive hold he has on his legs, the unexpected comedic interlude, the potential to create a new life. Passion sweeps you up into its embrace and you come with a strained cry of your husband’s name. 

“Want your baby, Eddie. Please.”

Eddie’s brown eyes shine at your desperate plea. He nears his own climax, hair sticking to his forehead and his guitar pick necklace thumping against his chest. “‘M right there, Sweetheart; you’re milking my cock so good.” His biceps tremble as he gives a final few pistons of his hips, spilling into you harder than he ever has before. “Fuck, gonna give you a baby, take it.” 

You shiver when he growls the last two words, savoring the movements until they abruptly stop. With panting breaths, Eddie slides out of you. 

“Don’t move,” he gently commands, holding up one finger and using the other hand to hold his softening dick. He scrambles for a free pillow and tucks it underneath your hips. “Helps ‘em swim faster,” he sheepishly explains. “Or, like, hit their target a little better.”

“Hit their target?” You ask through a bemused grin. “Is that the proper medical terminology?”

Eddie rolls his eyes playfully, returning to the bed and nuzzling into you. His frizzy curls tickle your chin when he rests his head on top of one breast. You both lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he speaks again. 

“Can’t wait to see if it worked,” he muses while fighting a yawn. “Whatever happens, it felt special, y’know?”

You know. Your hand flutters over your abdomen; Eddie drapes his over yours soon after. The two of you fall asleep wrapped up in one another and an intoxicating blanket of hope. 

--

[sea-lanterns]

SCREAM

synopsis: (slasher! AU) your creepy telephone stalker decides to pay you a visit.

featuring: kuki shinobu

rating: 18+ smut (men and minors dni)

warnings: sub! afab fem reader, blood, stalking, mentions of murder(s), kn.ives, home invasion, oral (reader recieving), tongu.e play, c.lit stimulation, slight fin.gering, tongue kissing, manhandling, hair pulling, kitchen counter se.x, may be ooc.

art credits: pumpkin night

“No, I don’t want to go to tonight’s party.”

“Wha—? But you never go…!”

You twirled the spiral cord connected to your telephone out of boredom, rolling your eyes at your friend’s desperate pleas, as she tried to get you to attend tonight’s college party to try and get you out of your shell. You weren’t much of a party girl if you had to be honest, as loud music, drunk people, and obnoxious sex did not sound like a fun time to you no matter how “exciting” your friends may phrase it. 

“I don’t want to smell sweat and alcohol while I’m there…” you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Besides, we have midterms coming up. I have to study or my GPA will drop.”

“Ugh, you’re such a buzzkill!” Your friend huffs over the phone. “Midterms don’t even start until next week, you have all weekend to study!” 

You let out a sigh and made a fake “bzzzt” noise with your mouth. 

“Oh no, you’re breaking up…” you mumble sarcastically, staring up at the ceiling.

“What? No! You’re just making that sound with your mou—”

“Oh god the connection is really bad. Sorry, I think I have to hang up.”

“You little—”

You slammed the phone back on the receiver before she could get another word in, tiredly making your way over to the couch and face planting right into the cushions due to exhaustion. It had been a long day of classes for you, and since it was only a Friday, you decided it would be best to rest up and maybe watch a movie before studying for your exams. 

Grabbing the remote to the TV, you flipped it on and began mindlessly scrolling through channels before a particularly interesting horror movie caught your eye. “Oh…neat.” You sat up on the couch and watched as the hit horror movie film: Nightmare on Elm Street began playing while you settled down to get comfortable.

‘This is already going way better than going to that party…’ you thought to yourself, before deciding to get up and make something to eat while you waited for the intro to be done. You had the whole house to yourself due to your parents being out of town, so every snack and food item in the kitchen was all yours for the taking without any repercussions. A giddy smile was on your face, as you began grabbing bowls from the cupboard to pour some of your favorite chips as a snack, usually unable to do this since you weren’t allowed to snack so late at night.

As you began pouring the chips into the bowl however, the landline rang again and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of annoyance. Your best friend had a habit of calling you at the most inconvenient times, so you quickly washed up your hands and grabbed the phone a bit snarkily. 

“Hello?”

“I can’t believe you’re still not going!”

You groaned when she continued her little game of coercing you to go to the party, slamming the phone back down on the receiver before grabbing your bowl of chips and shoving a handful into your mouth. You had a habit of being unnecessarily sarcastic when people were starting to bother you, and while it did come off as rude, your friend should’ve known better as you’ve made your decline to her offer very, very clear. 

Too tired to even get that upset, you set the bowl on the table in front of you before lying down on the couch to sulk. You watched the movie for maybe a few minutes —ten if you wanted to be specific— but ended up slowly dozing off since you were too tired from a long day of classes.

‘Just a short nap…’ you thought to yourself, feeling your eyelids droop before closing them shut. ‘I’ll get back to studying when I wake up…’

The last thing you heard before falling into unconsciousness was a shrill scream coming from the TV, and the light downpour of rain starting to occur outside…

You hoped your friend wouldn’t call you again.

You woke up to the sound of the telephone ringing and groaned before rolling off the couch to glance at the clock. The TV was still playing in the background, but as you looked up to check the time, you realized it was 2 am, about five hours from when the party started. 

“Son of a…” the phone rang again and you hissed with irritation before scrambling to grab the phone. 

“Are you serious?” You shouted into the line, clearly frustrated with your friend still trying to get you to come. “It is 2 am, why are you still asking me to go? Shouldn’t you be at home by this time?!”

The voice that greeted you over the line was not the voice you were expecting. 

Instead, a deep, slightly husky, yet feminine voice chuckles over the other line and sighs. “Uhhh…I’m sorry?” You could hear the smile in her words. “I suppose it is pretty late, I’m sorry if I’ve upset you, sweetie…”

The stranger’s voice sent shivers down your spine. It was so unbelievably sexy, and you found yourself accidentally blushing since you weren’t expecting such an attractive voice to greet you. “Oh…I’m sorry…” you say in a much softer tone. “My friend has been calling me all night, so I expected her when I answered the phone and it’s been driving me a bit crazy.”

“I like crazy.” The stranger responds with a throaty chuckle. “But you don’t sound that crazy to me…”

Your heartbeat began to pick up the more she spoke with you. 

“Aha…well, that’s comforting I guess. But uh…I think you have the wrong number, I don’t really know who you are…?”

“No, I think I have the right number…” The stranger hums sweetly. “You sound like a sweet enough gal, care to talk to me for a little while longer?” 

Several warning bells were going off in your head, but the sound of such a delightfully sweet and sexy voice kept you on your toes. You knew it was dangerous, you knew it was stupid, yet you couldn’t help but want to hear more, pressing on further to push a small conversation.

“Okay…what do you…wanna talk about?” You ask after some hesitance, unsure on how to approach this.

“You, doll.” The voice answers back, sending tingles down to your core. 

“Me?” 

“Yes, you. Let’s start with some cheesy lil icebreakers, hm?” The stranger hums gravelly. “What’s your…favorite scary movie? Since it’s near Halloween and all.”

“…Oh.” You thought about it for some time, before coming up with a funny, yet witty answer. 

“Uhhh, Matilda.”

“What?” The voice let out the huskiest laugh you’ve ever heard, making you blush as you pictured the woman behind the phone chuckling at your joke. “That’s not a scary movie,” the stranger says once more. “You have to pick an actual horror film.”

“Matilda is a horror movie.” You argued back, a playful laugh coming out of your mouth. “That scene where the principal was chasing them throughout the house gave me anxiety.” 

“Heh, fair, fair…” the voice hums with amusement. “No but seriously, what is your actual favorite horror movie, doll?” 

“Why do you wanna know?” You tease playfully, coiling the wire of the phone around your finger. 

“Well, mostly because…” the sexy voice suddenly grew even lower, dropping an octave until you could barely hear what they said. “I wanna get to know the person I’m looking at.” 

Your heart slowly sank when that sentence was uttered over the other line, blood running cold as you quietly processed what the person just said. 

“…Wh…What?” 

“I must admit, I was a bit sad when I didn’t see you at tonight’s big party…” the voice continued to say, nonchalant to how creepy they were sounding the more they spoke into the phone. “Maybe it’s for the best, however. I wouldn’t want your pretty lil eyes to witness such a bloody and messy massacre…”

Your throat clogged up and you couldn’t help but pull the phone away from your face.

“That…That isn’t funny.” You say with a scowl, your face turning hot with anger as you glared at the phone in front of you. “Haha funny prank. You can hang up now you stupid prankster.”

“Awww, babygirl I’m hurt…” the voice spoke in mock sympathy, “You really think I would play a sick trick on a girl like you? I’m not that heartless…” Their voice toned down to a whisper, the smirk barely covered up in their speech as they groaned. “Though, if I’m not pranking you, that must mean everything is true, hmm?”

Your eyes widened and you realized you have yet to receive a phone call from your friend at the party. You assumed it was still ongoing, but..

“You— You’re such a sicko! Don’t joke about things like that!”

“It’s not a joke, doll,” The voice chuckles back. “I wonder if you were friends with that one blonde girl I killed. About five foot four, wore a sexy devil costume, and screamed like bloody murder when I plunged my knife into her chest.” 

The way they laughed as you stood there in shock did not help the fear rising in your throat, as the stranger had just described your friend who kept begging for you to go to the party with her. They got every single detail right, and you were starting to slowly realize that the “sexy stranger” over the phone was actually a slaughtering serial killer in disguise.

“Oh, oh my god…” you covered up your mouth and accidentally dropped the phone, the cord of the line stopping it from falling as it dangled a few inches off the ground like a bungee swing.

“Oooh, you shouldn’t drop telephones, sweet thing…” the stranger spoke again, causing you to panic as they knew what you were doing.

“Leave…me…alone!”

You scrambled to slam the phone back onto the receiver, but a sharp voice suddenly shouted from the other line. 

“Don’t you dare hang up!” The woman’s voice erupted, causing you to wince and drop it back from your hands. “Ugh…I’m sorry for yelling. I just wanted to play a game with you, that’s all…”

“What game? What game could you possibly want to play with me?!” You exclaim fearfully, quickly backing up into the counter. 

“An easy one.” The voice speaks again, a growl practically escaping their throat, “I want to play hide and seek.”

Your stomach twisted at the mention of hide and seek, hands grasping for a kitchen knife as a makeshift use for a weapon. 

“I think you’re familiar with the rules. I hide, and you try to find me…” the stranger hums with delight. “So I’ll give you a hint, sweet girl. I’m inside the house.” 

You squealed at those last words and bolted for the back door of the kitchen, fumbling with the door handle to leave before a firm, athletic body suddenly pressed up against your back, pinning you to the door.

“H-Hey!” 

You tried swiping the kitchen knife back to stab at your oppressor, but it was no use. A strong hand grips your wrist and you soon find out that your mysterious phone killer was no ordinary killer, as she was very strong.

“That’s enough of that.” The familiar voice purrs into your ear, that seductive, gravelly voice causing you to freeze as she quickly pins your arms above your head and wrestles the knife out of your hand.

“Stop! Let me go!” You screamed and tried squirming out of their grip, but was met with their body pressing further against your behind. The curves of a feminine figure pinning you to the door, while you slowly started to feel the pressure of an oncoming panic attack in your throat.

“Shhh…shhh, no crying…” the mysterious killer hums with delight, a plastic ghost-face mask pressing up against your shoulder and making you wince with fear. “Please…please don’t kill me…” you began trembling under their grasp, too paralyzed with fear to move. “I don’t wanna die…I’m sorry…I just wanted to stay home…”

“Shhhhh…No need for tears…” her voice mumbled huskily, the smell of blood and iron filling your nose as they waved their blood-stained knife near your face. “Unless, you want me to clean them up for you?”

“No…please…” you squeezed your eyes shut, too scared to open them as you prepared your final moments.

“…Awww, okay.” You suddenly feel a slight decrease in pressure as the hand of the killer moves up to remove the mask. “What about now?”

It took several seconds of heavy breathing and whimpers to find the courage, but eventually you timidly opened your eyes before landing on a way too familiar face. 

“Sh-Shinobu…?”

“Hey doll.” 

She smirked nonchalantly at you and winked. Shinobu was a classmate of yours, your campus crush if you had to be honest. She always sat in the back of lectures, yet whenever you two would accidentally meet eyes, she would always wink and lick her lips seductively, always causing your heart to flutter.

“I…I don’t understand.” You say in a shaky voice, unsure of your conflicting feelings. 

“Mmm, well you don’t need to.” Shinobu purrs. “I’m Ghostface. I’m the one you were talking to over the phone.”

“Th-That was you?!” You exclaimed fearfully.

“Mhm…honestly, I was a bit upset you didn’t realize it was me all along,” she chuckles. “I thought you’d recognize my raspy and seductive voice, hmm?”

Despite how much fear you had, you couldn’t help but grow slightly aroused with the way she was whispering into your ear. Even if your crush was revealed to be an insane, masked serial killer, you couldn’t deny the heat pouring through your veins the more she spoke sweet nothings like the regular. 

“…I can’t…I can’t believe…” you were so distraught you couldn’t find the words. 

“Awe…that’s okay, sweet thing.” Shinobu whispers in a hot and heavy tone. 

“Allow me to help you believe.”

She gently presses a small kiss to your earlobe and slides her long tongue out to lick the shell of it. The warm muscle causes you to flinch for a moment, before a pool of arousal starts warming at your lower regions. 

‘God…what am I doing?!’ Your mind screamed with instinct, body trembling with fearousal as Shinobu continued to lick and suck your ear before traveling her hands around your body. 

“Honestly, I had hoped to see you at the party tonight, but this is much better…” She purrs before catching you by the waist and squeezing a gloved hand over your thigh. “I get to have you all to myself in this giant house of yours…”

She presses another kiss to your cheek and catches the small whimper that leaves your throat. 

“Awe, I knew you would be enjoying this…” Shinobu chuckles with delight. “Naughty, naughty girl…”

“Oh, shut up…!” You winced when she suddenly grabbed your waist and spun you around, your face now facing hers as she leans in to press a dominating kiss against your lips. 

“Tch, no respect at all.” She growls before sliding her warm tongue into your mouth. She notes the way your legs close as you instinctively grip her shoulders for support, loving the way you latched onto her as she French-kissed you against the door of your kitchen. ‘She could deny it all she wants, but she knows she’s all mine…’

After a few brief moments of kissing, Shinobu lets you breathe for a moment before wrapping her arms around your waist. 

“C’mon, it’ll be easier on the kitchen counter.”

“Wh-Wha— AH!”

Despite how small and thin she looked, Shinobu hoisted you up with ease and you had no choice but to wrap your legs around her. For such a petite woman, she was very strong, and she lifted you up on the counter to get you at the preferred height she wanted. 

“There we go…” She licked her lips at the sight and you felt another pulse of heat dive down at your core. “Any objections before we continue?”

That voice. That damned sexy voice. You were practically wet just hearing her voice in person, growing aroused ever since she was flirting with you over the phone. You wanted to curse yourself for getting so turned on, but at this point you just wanted to be fucked. 

Even if it meant getting eaten out by a ghost-face wearing serial killer.

“Just…hurry up…” you groaned, already angry with yourself for getting so worked up. 

“Tch, is that how you ask for things, princess?” Shinobu scoffs with fake annoyance. “I thought you knew better…”

With that, she suddenly yanks your pajama pants off and the action has you squealing with surprise. Your legs are immediately exposed to the cold, open air, and Shinobu makes it a quick move to push your thighs apart with her hands. “Ugh…fuck…” you hear her grumble under her breath, her cheeks growing red as she stares at your underwear in such a perfect view. “Cotton? Interesting, I thought you’d be a lace kinda girl.”

“I was staying at home.” You gritted through your teeth. “Who wears fancy lace panties when staying home alone?”

“Fair point.” Shinobu chuckles, giving you another kiss before moving her fingers down into the band of your underwear. Feeling two calloused fingers rubbing at your clit was not what you’d be expecting spending a Friday night all alone, yet you can’t say you didn’t enjoy it as Shinobu was a master at rubbing her fingers around your folds till they were soaking wet with precum.

“O-Oh…god…” you whimpered out breathlessly, Shinobu pressing you further into the counter as she began pistoning her fingers at a steady pace to get you ready. “You always seemed to like staring at my tongue,” She purred in a gravelly tone, “I don’t blame ya, it’s pretty long if I do say so myself…”

As if to make a point, she playfully sticks out her tongue and your face just flushes at the sight. It looked so inhumanly long, yet your body couldn’t help but crave for it to be deep inside you, tasting you like you were its last meal ready to be devoured. 

You knew you weren’t the only one thinking this either. Shinobu was thinking of all the ways she could taste you, stuffing her tongue as deep as it would go and savoring the sweet essence that drips down your thigh with each sharp piston of her fingers. She was practically drooling, eyes locked on the feeling of how wet you were before finally pulling her hands away to taste.

“Mm…seems wet enough already…”

She sticks the two fingers into her mouth to suck and instantly groans at the sensation. Her long tongue slowly licked up the juices coating her fingers, before letting go with a wet ‘pop!’ Having throughout enjoyed herself with the tiny sample you offered her.

“Absolutely sensational…” she mumbles into your ear. “Allow me to have the full course?” 

She doesn’t wait for you to respond before taking the sharp end of her knife and slicing your panties off in one, professional swipe. “H-Hah!” You flinched when she did it so quickly and started breathing heavily out of shock, mildly amusing Shinobu with your reaction. 

“Pfft. Relax, sweetheart.” Shinobu purrs with nonchalance. “I’m a professional, you trust professionals, right?”

She peels off the remaining tatters of your underwear and smirks at the sight of your bare, exposed pussy glimmering under your kitchen light. Shinobu could hardly contain herself as she instantly crouched down on her knees to kiss your clit, sending jolts of nerves to your stomach, and making you squirm with delight.

“Ohh, the princess likes that, doesn’t she?” She chuckles in a mocking way, using her two front teeth to gently nibble on the clit and force a burst of ecstasy from the way she was teasing you. 

“Ah—! Shinobu…” your hands reached down to tug at her green hair. 

“Ah ah ah…” she gives a slow, sensual lick up your folds and you wince when you feel the tip of her tongue flick at your clit. “No hair pulling, sweet girl…”

She continues running her tongue up and down your cunt before slowly pushing the tip of it deeper into your twitching hole. You let out a gasp as she began eating you out excitedly, sliding her long, lithe tongue in and out of you before beginning to thrust lightly with the muscle. 

You didn’t expect her to be so good. Shinobu’s tongue play unlike any other girl you’ve been with as her tongue was just so fucking long. Long, flexible, and hot as it pumps against your walls like a starved man finally drinking some water for the very first time. 

‘Fucking hell…she tastes so good…’ Was all Shinobu could think as she slowly became pussy drunk off the taste of you alone. Too busy thinking about how many times she could get you to cum on her face, before you passed out out of exhaustion. 

“Shinobu I can’t— nngh…” you wrapped your legs around her head and pushed her even closer, trembling from the stimulation as the rough texture of her tongue continued to thrust into your walls. Things were starting to take it up a notch, as Shinobu suddenly gripped your thighs tightly before speeding up her movements to feel even more. 

The moans you let out were music to her ears, eyes squeezed shut as she continued sliding the warm muscle at a speed you didn’t even think was possible. (It was, Shinobu was just really, really good) The increase in pressure had you whimpering the more she thrusted, and pretty soon, you were starting to feel a coiling sensation occur the faster she moved her tongue. 

“Hnnn…Shinobu…” you whimpered out pathetically, thighs twitching for your release as you gripped her hair even tighter. “You should pull away, it feels too t-tight…”

“Mm? That’s perfect then…” she groaned in an almost predatory way. “Just go ahead and scream for me…!

And scream you did, as you threw your head back and climaxed all over Shinobu’s face who licked up all the cum that leaked out. You were too much of a panting mess to notice the way she cleaned your thighs and cunt with her tongue, but the sensitivity of being “cleaned up” after such an intense round had your vision clouding over with adrenaline crash and exhaustion. 

“Oh…my princess tastes so good…” Shinobu groans, standing up to kiss you so that you could taste your cum on her lips. “Exhausted already? Well, I suppose it is pretty late…” 

She chuckles darkly at the way your eyes droop over like a sleepy puppy, gently scooping you up into your arms to carry you up to your bedroom.

“Bedtime for my baby…” She hums in that raspy voice of hers, climbing up the steps before kissing the temple of your forehead.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to make you scream louder once you wake up.”

[pascallatte]

Slip-ups

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress!reader

Date: Jan 2019

Warnings: none I think but maybe a hint of something.

A/N: this is from y/n's POV and can be a 2nd part of the series but this is a long way from that. yeahhh. Hope you guys like this!!

Y/N L/N Answers the Web’s Most Searched Questions

“Good Afternoon, this is Y/n L/n and this is the wired autocomplete interview,” you started with the most monotonous voice you could ever make

-Autocomplete suggests the most common searcher on the internet-

“I am very excited, I’ve been wanting to do this since like forever but you guys never invited me, which was sad,” the camera then proceeds to zoom in your faces as you looked at the lens with a very menacing look. 

-So WIRED asked Y/N L/N some of the internet’s burning questions- 

Giggling to yourself, you sat back and took the first board that was given to you.

With a bright smile you said “Alrighty WIRED let’s do thisss!!!”

“Is y/n l/n….related to Sarah Paulson” with a scoff you shook your head and released a very breathy “NNOooooooo” 

“ But I’ve been asked this questions a couple times now and as much as I want to be related to Sarah, we are not.”

You looked back at the board, read it a few more times then nodded.

“ But we are sisters though, just not by blood.”

-Cut-

“ Is y/n l/n Elizabeth Swann”

“Oh!! Yup I am the Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean” you explained as soon as the question was revealed

“ did you know that not many people knew I was in that movie? And the reason?” You excitedly asked as you looked at the staff behind the camera.

“Was my fucking dark blonde hair!! Now hold on before you guys on the internet hate on me, let me explain.”

Hands up in a surrendering position you began “Look I loved that role, the series, the people, Orlando Bloom,..” You winked” but blonde just doesn’t suit me, AT ALL, and keeping that hair as blonde as it can is a freaking nightmare so after I’ve finished wrapping up the last of that film series I told myself never EVER!! Take a role that needed my hair to be dyed.”

-Cut-

“ Is y/n l/n a sagittarius”

Smiling to yourself as you recall a memory, you look down and answered “ Yes, yes I am because as you all know I was born on December 1987- GOSH I’m old” you cut yourself as you’ve registered the words that were said.

“But that is all I can tell you, 'cause I’m not that much into horoscopes or zodiacs or whatever but Pe-“ you cut yourself once again.” But uhmmm, someone once told me that I am the "embodiment" of the Sagittarius sign and that we sagi babes are most compatible with an Aries?? I think”

A small smile was seen on your face as the video cuts to the next question.

-Cut-

“ Are y/n l/n and Pedro Pascal friends”

"Hhmmm are we? I mean we hang out, send tiktoks to each other, and he steals my fuzzy socks a lot….” you nod off while listing all the things Pedro has done to you in the past week, in mind.

“ I guess we are friends? nO, I’m just kidding we are, the best might I add”

You beamed at the lens as you rattled on, “of course we’re friends, we’ve been friends for quite a while now and I thank sister Sarah for that. But yeah, I mean who wouldn’t want to be friends with that guy?”

You once again looked at the staff who was nodding at you to continue.

“ He’s friendly, goofy, a great storyteller, and actor” you winked again that was accompanied by a snort,  “and a great person in general…ah he also shares his empanadas so that makes him an even Better Greater person HAHA!!”

You then throw the board to the ground as you jump out of your seat

-Cut-

“Who does y/n l/n play in Narcos”

“ I play a DEA agent from Barcelona, Spain named Catalina “Lina” Mendoza, she is the love interest of Javier Pena and who is played by the one and only Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal, who is the partner of Boyd Holbrook aka Steve Murphy” proudly you crossed your arms and leaned back in the chair.

-Cut-

“What is y/n l/n first movie”

“Ahh this is a great question, uhmmm my first movie was released way back in ’99 and it’s called the sixth sense. Which was a great experience and opened up my little 11-year-old mind up more into the acting industry.” You answered while thinking back on that more to add.

“ I mean it is a minor role but I got to meet Bruce Willis and act with a very close friend of mine, Trevor Morgan.” You added before looking back at the board.

-Cut-

“What is y/n l/n doing now”

“Since this will be released, I don’t know, a few days or weeks from now I’d try to answer what I would be doing at that time” you scratch your chin as you think of what you would do without saying too much.

“I would either be at home, chilling, drinking wine, while watching a movie OR” you exaggerate, “ I’d be out partying or hanging out with a few friends of mine, yeah I think that’s about it.”

-cut-

“ How can I meet y/n l/n”

Laughing you said, “Well, I’ll probably be in my favourite cafe during my spare time so maybe you guys can drop by and have the courage to say hi,” you tease but was followed by an “I'd rather have you do that instead of taking a, what you think is a discreet, picture of me and the one person I’m with” you ended with a forced smile.

-Cut-

“How old was y/n l/n when Pedro Pascal”

“Guys is this asking what I think it's asking HAHAHAHA” you burst out with a laugh while kind of nervous that you would say something out of line.

“ Well uhm, if you’re asking how old I was when we met, we met through Sarah way back in early 2012 she invited me for a new year's party, so that makes me 24??” You answered with an eyebrow raised.

“ Buuutt,” you dragged.”If you guys are asking about that scene in the second season of Narcos, that you guys are thirsting on about. I would be at around 27 years while shooting that I think. Sooo yeah. Kids don’t ask about those narcos scenes please, better yet don’t watch it until you’re like 25 or 50”

-Cut-

“ How tall is -“

“ No No! I won’t be answering that question yo-“ 

-Cut-

With a huff you looked at the camera, “ I am 5 foot 3....and a half…. On good days I'd be 5'4 and 5'5 with heels. But hey I’m not even that small, the people around me are just giant abnormal-looking non-human beings” you point at the lens

“YES YES IM TALKING TO YOU MISTER PASCAL, so stop teasing me”

-Cut-

“Ooh would you look at that the last question!” 

Ripping the paper as fast as you can it says “Can y/n l/n dance?” 

You noticeably perked up at this but before you can answer a voice came from behind the camera and said “No!”

“ Hey! I mean I’m not a good dancer but I can dance properly you know. I flow with the vibe of the music you know what i’m saying!!! Yeah?”

-Cut-

 You were seen grinning before you were called on camera.

Throwing the board behind you once again you say “ Well WIRED, that was certainly interesting and this might be one of the most... chill... interviews I’ve been on! Can’t wait to do more! Bye!!”

COMMENTS

Fan 1: that was…..entertaining

Fan 2: the slip ups OH MY FUCKING GOD

Fan 3: the way she called out the paps HA serves you right!!

Fan 4: i love how most of the internet asks about y/n and Pedro indirectly. Like girl, we’ve been waiting for years.

Fan 5: Oh so this is the girl, Pedro was seen with the other day. She looks too young, I don’t get why people ship these two, he wouldn’t go for immature younger women. ↳ Fan 4 replied to Fan 5: Girl be fucking for real they've been dating for years now, try to look it up.

Fan 6: I love her friendship with Sarah and Pedro!!! And it looks like she was adopted by Sarah Paulson the same way she did with Pedro HAHAHAH oh and we got crumbs on her hanging out with Pedro with that sharing of food thing

Fan 7: I NEED MORE Y/N CONTENT, SHE IS THE QUEEN, MY LOVE, MY WIFE AND BABY!!!!

Fan 8: so is no one else curious about who said “No” as soon as that dancing question was revealed, cause all I know is that it sure ain’t one of the staff. ↳ Fan 7 replied to Fan 8: HOW THE HELL?? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW THEY'RE TOGETHER?! I'm speechless

Fan 9: she’s so smiley and goofy in this interview, must’ve had a lot of fun shooting this. ↳ WIRED replied to Fan 9: 👀 about that…. ↳ fan 9 replied to WIRED: why? what’s happening

Fan 10: The sarcasm when asked if Pedro's her friend is killing me😵 ↳ Fan 8 replied to Fan 10: aren't they friends though? ↳ Fan 10 replied to Fan 8: girl go search it up. i just, can't. this is because of his rising fame, everyone doesn't know that much yet. what more if this continues for the years to come.

Fan 11: The comments of old Pedro fans and new Pedro fans are funny.

A/N: so we got a little back story for y/n and her friendship with Pedro and Sarah ahhhh. ay, this doesn't directly follow my last fic, but I wanted to put this out earlier. Just to let you guys know this series follows a timeline I've done so that would explain why there are dates and stuff at the beginning of each fic. That's all, Thank you!! Bye for now.

[lives-in-midgard]

Hello, my dear! :) I may also request a Bucky Barnes Imagine where maybe he’s your Ex (breaking up cause of he doesnt want to get you in danger cause of the avengers) but he is lost without you and totally changed in the bad way, but you feel the same.. then one night he wants to leave the Avengers behind but Steves get you there and you convince him to stay while hes already on his bike.. then you talk, decide to give your love another chance and end up cuddling or more (in case you're comfortable with smut, if not then it's fine as well) THAAANK YOU DOLL ❤️

I Still Love you

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: Four months have passed since your breakup with Bucky when you suddenly get a call from Steve.

Word Count: 1580

A/N: Thank you so much honey for sending in that request! 💞At first I wasn't sure if I can write it but then when I started writing it I couldn't stop because I loved the idea. Because I don't write smut I ended it with cuddles, which I thought was also a good ending. I really hope you and everyone else like how this turned out!

Masterlist

It’s been four months since Bucky broke up with you. You can remember it all too well when he stood in your doorway and said he is breaking up with you. You were so happy on that day when he texted you that he will come over. You prepared everything for a movie night and for dinner you even bought a vinyl with music from the 40s as a surprise for him. But when he came over that night you never got to do any of the things you were looking forward to.

Four months ago:

You just placed the new vinyl you got as a surprise beside the record player when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You were so excited to see Bucky especially because it’s been a few days since you had last seen him. You walked to the door with a big smile on your face but when you opened the door you immediately knew that something was wrong. Bucky didn’t smile like he always did, he didn’t even greet you with a soft kiss.

“Hey, doll.” He said and tried to give you a smile.

“Hey, what’s wrong Buck?” You asked and tried to reach for his hand, but he pulled it away and shook his head.

“Buck, what?” Now you were confused.

“Did something happen?” You asked and you saw a sad look in his eyes. Bucky looked like he didn’t sleep since a few days. Did he have nightmares again, was the first thought that crossed your mind. Bucky looked at the ground and you gave him the time he needed to sort his thoughts. Even though you were freaking out inside. When he looked into your eyes, he looked so sad and hurt. You have never seen him like this before.

“We need to break up, doll.” He finally said what was bothering him and you couldn’t believe what he just said.

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, doll you didn’t but it’s for the best.” Bucky said without hesitation.

“Bucky please don’t do this I love you. You know this right?” You said and a tear escaped your eyes.

“I know doll and I love you too but-.” Bucky wanted to say more but you interrupted him.

“Then don’t break up whatever happend we can get through this together.” You hoped he would stay and tell you what happened, but he insisted he wanted to break up.

“I’m going to leave now and please don’t come to the compound or try to call me okay.” Bucky said and made a few steps to the door. His metal hand rested on the doorknob, he took a deep breath and then opened the door. Before he walked out you reached for his hand.

“Why?” Was everything you could say.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Bucky said without looking at you, walked out the door and closed it behind him.

“But you just hurt me!” You screamed as tears streamed down your face. You locked the door and sat down on the floor with your back to the door. It felt like sitting there and crying for hours. At some point you had the courage to get up and when you saw everything you had prepared, you quickly put everything away and started crying again.

In the next few days and weeks, you were no longer the same as you were with Bucky. You called at work and told them you were sick and stayed in bed all day. You watched your favorite show, but not the one you started to watch with Bucky, that would only make you sadder. After a few days, you decided to go back to work. As you were about to change into some clothes, you saw some of Bucky’s hoodies and other things and put them in a box. You packed everything you could find of him into a box and decided to send it to him. You couldn’t go back to the store and bring the vinyl back, so you just put it on a shelf. You worked more shifts at work and even went to a gym to avoid thinking about Bucky too much. You felt so lonely without Bucky and missed him so much.

Bucky thought it would be the best to break up, but he felt so lost without you. He was so afraid that you would get hurt because he is an Avenger and that some bad guys would try to find you, so he thought it would be the best to break up. But he didn’t think about what it would mean for his and your life. Bucky changed; he didn’t really talk with the other avengers anymore only with Steve. Most nights he would just sit in his bed in his room, hoping that you were safe and well. He became more and more withdrawn from the others and one day Bucky decided that he wanted to go away from the Avengers.

That was also the day you got a call from Steve. You were surprised to see his name on your phone.

“Did something happen to Bucky?” Was the first thing you said when you answered the call.

“Hey, y/n. No, he is okay, but he wants to leave the Avengers. Tonight.” Steve told you and you were shocked to hear that.

“What happened?”

“Bucky changed so much since he broke up with you. He misses you so much y/n.” Steve said, and you couldn’t believe what you had just heard.

“He thinks he shouldn’t be an Avenger and that he is not good enough after everything HYDRA did to him.”

“That’s not true.”

“I know, but he doesn’t know that anymore. When Bucky was with you, he was so happy. He hasn’t been this happy since the 40s. I think you’re the only person who could make him stay. You need to come here.”

“Steve, I still love him.” You confessed.

“I know, that’s why I called you.”

“I’m coming to the compound, please try to make him stay until I’m there.”

“Drive safe.” Steve said before you hung up. While you drove, you didn’t care about the speed limits, you just needed to get to Bucky as quickly as possible. When the compound was to see, you saw Bucky getting on his bike and Steve standing next to him. You opened the door of your car and walked over to Bucky. He turned around when he heard you.

“Doll, what are you doing here?” Hearing that pet name after so long made your heartbeat faster.

“Bucky please don’t go. I…I still love you and I miss you so much.” You walked closer to him and noticed Steve turning around and walking back into the compound.

“Doll, I love you too, but I don’t want you to get hurt for going out with me.” Bucky said and stood up from his bike.

“Oh, Buck. That’s what you are worried about?” You said and he nodded.

“I don’t care that anything could happen to me, and do you want to know why?” You asked and Bucky nodded again.

“Because I know that you will keep me safe no matter what. You and the other Avengers. And maybe you and the others could train me, so I could keep myself safe until you are there to safe me.” You said and placed your hand on his cheek.

“Doll, I …I don’t know what to say.”

“Let’s try it again and give our love another chance.” You said and Bucky smiled a little but was still worried. There was silence between the two of you until Bucky finally decided what to say.

“Okay, doll. Let’s give our love another chance.” When he said that a tear escaped your eyes, he pulled it away with his thumb and pressed a soft kiss to the spot where your tear was.

“But later we have to talk about why you wanted to leave the Avengers, okay?” Bucky nodded and you took his hand.

“But for now, let’s go in first, before one of us catches a cold.”

“You’re talking about yourself, right?” Bucky asked with a chuckle.

“I’m the only one who can catch a cold here or has something changed Mr. Super Soldier?” You joked and Bucky chuckled. This is what you missed. Hearing Bucky laugh and seeing his beautiful smile. You and Bucky walked inside holding hands. You went straight to his room, and he opened the door for you. After opening the door, he turned around and looked at you. You smiled at him, and he finally kissed you. After you pulled away, you both smiled at each other.

“Can we cuddle?” Bucky asked and you nodded with a big smile on your face. You went to bed and laid down. When you felt Bucky’s arm wrap around you, you finally felt like you weren’t alone anymore.

“I missed you so much, doll.” Bucky said and pressed a soft kiss on your shoulder.

“I missed you too.” You smiled and were so happy to have Bucky back. You decided to have a talk with him later about why he wanted to leave the Avengers. And that you want to do everything you had planned the day he broke up with you. You want Bucky to feel loved and be there for him when he feels like he doesn’t belong here.

Taglist:

@marvelogic | @eviebuggg | @buckys-wintersoldier | @nicoline1998enilocin | @kandis-mom | @sergeantbarnessdoll |

[jennas-stuffs]

our little secret: mission impossible

TW: unprotected sex, piv, fingering, hickey-making, nipple-sucking, brief head (fem receiving), fluff, fem reader.

authors note: this is my first time writing smut so i’m definitely open to tips and constructive criticism 😭

i can’t believe i’m saying this but im actually excited about a college class this year. i’ve always loved criminology, i watched basically every tv series there is containing it growing up. so it’s safe to say i didn’t hate the actual subject my last three years, i just hated the professor. ok sure i doze off every now and then but i know my stuff. it’s just that, he doesn’t believe i do. just because he’s some super genius only a year older than me and already teaching people doesn’t mean that he gets to be the only smart one. enough about him because my complaints have finally been heard and the administration finally finally let me switch classes. i can finally be rid of him. i walk into class with my head up high only to find my posture slump down and my smile fade into a frown.

“hello again y/n, you didn’t think you would get rid of me that easily huh?”

what the actual fuck. what the fuck happened.

“i thought i was switching classes.” i say with my jaw shut tight

“i promised the admins that they wouldn’t have to do all that because i would make it work. also it doesn’t look too good for me when one of my students transfers out my class because we were having ‘altercations.’

the sound of every word out of his mouth is almost identical to the sound of nails on a chalkboard. i nod so he can shut up and angrily stomp to a seat. out of spite, i nap my way through his class and to my surprise i wake up to the sound of the bell signaling my next class. i wake up confused, “why didn’t he wake me up? he always does, he loves disturbing my beauty sleep.” i shake it off and pick up the class paperwork i’ll have to make up along with my homework. a week passes by with undisturbed sleep, this is just getting weird. maybe this is what he meant by making it work. if it is, i’ll have to stay i expected more from him. hes so professional and strict, as would anyone expect coming from an ex-fbi agent. i mean this guy literally saw people die in front of him, and didn’t one of the serial killers set him up to be put in jail? what does he think he’s doing letting me sleep in his class? i should confront him. if he wants me in his class, he’s gonna have to earn it. he thought he could have the easy way out with me, oh no no no. i make a plan to set an appointment with him at the end of the day.

his office is neat and organized like i expected. too bad his freakishly tidy desk is gonna get a glimpse of this sleep deprived, angsty, college student.

we sit down and he quickly releases an exhale.

“so i’m assuming this meeting is about our non-existent altercations, because your grades are great, y/n. i haven’t started a feud just yet so what’s going on?”

i stand up rapidly, pushing my seat backwards. i slam my hand on his desk, leaving a mark on his papers, not like i care though.

“good job figuring that one out professor genius. so listen up. if you think just letting me sleep thorough your class is gonna prevent me from complaining to the admins again, think again. you probably think this is the easy way out so you don’t have to actually work it out with me well guess what. that’s extremely unprofessional. and in all honesty i expected more from you. im disappointed, professor reid. i guess your retired days from the fbi really tore you down huh? you don’t have that same spark in you- you”

“i know about your nightmares y/n.”

…

“what?”

“i’m retired from the fbi, correct. from the behavioral analysis unit. i can still profile people you know. from what i’ve noticed, you barley get any sleep and run on coffee. the work you miss in class you use as an excuse to stay up late at night to procrastinate on the sleep you know will wake you up in cold sweat the next morning. the only good sleep you seem to get, is the one in my class. see, i used to mind the fact that you were just sleeping though my lectures but it’s never interfered with your grade. so, i figured since it’s your last year of college and all i would allow my period to be your nap time.”

…

i sit down shamefully and shrink in my seat. i’m so embarrassed. he was just trying to help me and i snapped at him. i feel like an idiot.

“im so sorry. and thank you. thank you so much.”

one more word and i’ll burst out crying. i quickly pick up my bag and head for the door. but my wrist is grabbed by a warm hand.

“wait, y/n?”

i turn around to meet his eyes and pray he doesn’t notice the extra liquid in them.

i clear my throat, “yes professor reid?”

my wrist hasn’t been released yet.

“are you getting help for the- you know.”

“um i used to when i was little and it helped and they went away, but it came back.”

“when?”

“since i started college.”

“can you sit back down please, i just want to talk.”

here he is being so helpful and i’ve been hating him this whole time. when he wasn’t worried for my grades, he was worried for my sleep, and when he isn’t worried for my sleep, he’s worried for my mental health. i feel like such a petty bitch.

my wrist is released and we sit down.

we talk for hours and hours and he tells me stories of when he was an agent. i’ve never laughed so much in my life. we trade in our top worst and best moments in our lives when he realizes…

“wait so, sorry, if this is crossing a line and feel free to not answer but you’ve had boyfriends. but you’ve never had sex?”

“yeahh that’s accurate. it’s just everytime i think about someone seeing me naked i just get tense, like, just the thought of it makes me squirm.”

“so you have body image issues?”

“woww way to be slick with that one profiler, but sure, i guess.”

he laughs. and this laugh was different from all the other ones because it was this laugh i realized i don’t hate his voice anymore. it actually sounds, nice.

“so you’re telling me you’ve tried everything, all your therapists have given you medication and nothing really stuck?”

“i’m a lost cause doc.”

“don’t say that.”

…

“you know you haven’t tried everything.”

“sex makes me barf. no way.”

“hey a pretty girl like you can easily find some college guy to mess around with. don’t be so closed minded y/n.”

“mhm because you’ve had so much experience.”

his face goes pink.

“how did you know?”

“what? no i was kidding. wait. you’ve never had sex either? YOU HYPOCRITE!”

“it’s much easier said than done.”

“hey, a handsome guy like yourself can easily find some girl to mess around with. don’t be so closed minded professor.”

“spencer”

“what?”

“in my office, you can call me spencer”

“okay, spencer, how about we make a deal.”

“what kind of deal?” he says with a raised eyebrow

“the first to have sex is the better person because they are not a hypocrite.”

“that sounds like mission impossible but. ok. fine. deal.”

“REALLY? i was just joking but OKAY DEAL.”

we shake hands and i go back to my dorm and sleep. i slept, better, that night.

we check in with each other everyday to see if the other person won yet.

“has mission impossible been completed professor?”

“nope. what about you y/n?”

“nope.”

that’s not all we did, though. we went out to cafes to talk about life and how us virgins are channeling that sex energy into some other thing. seeing professor reid, i mean spencer, outside of school was weird. all of sudden his eyes were easier to look into. i just couldnt get enough of them. it was like i was drowning in them. don’t get me started on that voice paired with that cute face. i could just snuggle myself up into each word that came out of his mouth. but we had that same check up conversation everyday after class for a whole month until…

“hey y/n?”

“yeah?”

“are you free by the end of the day i wanna talk to you in my office”

“what happened to meeting up at the cafe? wait. did i miss an assignment? i’m so sorry i’ll make it up i swear.”

he smiles and laughs. that beautiful laugh. “no no i just wanna talk in a more private setting. you know how people can eavesdrop in cafes.”

“oh yeah sure i’ll see you then.”

“see you.”

WHY DID I SAY SURE? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME. THAT WHOLE REASON WHY I NEEDED US TO BE IN A CAFE WAS BECAUSE IT WAS PUBLIC. i can’t help myself when i see him. i know it’s wrong because he’s my teacher but he’s just a year older? i’m trying to justify these feelings for him but i can’t. i can’t help it. he’s so nice to me and i don’t deserve it, i just wanna repay him. no,nonononono. i can’t. not in that way. i have a meeting with him and it’s in his office so it’s strictly professional.

…

“hey y/n”

“hi professor”

he raises an eyebrow.

“hi spencerr, ” i say as i roll my eyes.

“ok good so uh.”

he pulls his chair and adjusts mine so that we’re sitting face to face, with no desk in the middle. god, this is gonna be a long meeting for me.

“i think we’re gonna have to switch your class”

“what?! why! we just started getting along don’t ruin it now!”

truthfully, i wouldn’t mind. all this tension i felt would definitely tone down if i didn’t see him so much. but i wanna see him, i love the butterflies he give me. it’s just so annoying i can’t do anything to ‘relieve’ them.

“well we’re just too friendly now, there’s barley any teacher-student boundaries.”

“are you serious. YOU’RE THAT ONE THAT INSISTS I CALL YOU BY YOUR FIRST NAME.”

he smiles “it’s not only that”

“you’ve chewed up my heart by making me switch classes, so, spit it out.”

“i think i like you.”

my heart feels like it’s gonna pop out of my chest, my pussy throbes and my stomach get butterflies. i get this overwhelming feeling of kissing him. but i can’t. we can’t. we shouldn’t. i look to the door and i look back at him. i stand up and walk up to the door, and lock it. i close the blinds and look at him.

“i like you too spencer.”

he grabs me by the waist and pins me to the door. we’re half a centimeter away from each others lips. looking at each others eyes and looking back down at each others lips.

“we shouldn’t.”

he nods, “we shouldn’t”

we slam each others lips against each other, making me let out the dirtiest of moans. he looks down on me and watches me unfold underneath him.

“you’re just a hot mess for me hm?”

i whimper and notice the throbbing feeling in my pussy intensify. it’s a hot steamy make out scene in his pretty little office, and i wonder how badly we can mess it up.

“spencer?” i gasp, barley having enough breath between kisses.

“fuck. say my name again please y/n.”

i moan, “spencer”

“again baby”

i cry out “spencer”

he says in his sweet voice “yes y/n?”

“fuck me.” i say in a whimper

and with those two words he kicks off his shoes and kisses me again. i mirror him taking off his clothes, working is way down, and up. once we’re both completely stripped he takes a second to look me up and down.

“you’re beautiful. all this time you’ve been hiding this?”

he bends his knees in front of me and kisses my breasts. i giggle at the feeling it gives me, similar to a tickle. he is just so sweet it melts me. while making out we move to his desk, where he pushes all his papers to the floor. he lays me down and my skin winces at the coldness of the wood. he’s sucks on my top lip, bottom lip, my jawline, my neck, my collarbone, making his way down to my nipples. i whimper, feeling his tongue go around in circles. i let out a loud moan, almost a scream, and notice the sudden arch my back went into when he starts to suck. he plans to leave every intimate place on my body with a hickey.

“you wanna leave marks on me spencer?”

he nods, making his way to the other nipple.

it’s just the sound of my whining and his sucking in his office, he breaks the silence for a second.

“i wanna show everyone you’re mine.”

then immediately goes back to sucking.

“my neck shows that enough-mm- spencer.”

“spencer… ohh spencer”

“yes y/n”

“feel me.”

that seems to have gotten him to stop sucking and he sticks to fingers up my throbbing pussy. i whimper at the motion.

“so wet, all of this for me?”

“mhm all for you”

he moves his fingers up and down, making me become a moaning, whining, whimpering, ‘hot’, mess again.

“spencer?”

“yes baby”

“i need you inside me.”

he looks down on me and suddenly the innocent light in his eyes disappear, witnessing a dark cloudy haze rolling in, covering his eyes.

“oh yeah?”

too far deep in the storm that is his eyes to speak, i simply nod. plus, that “oh yeah?” left me FOLDED.

he leaves a trail of kisses on my inner thighs, making me squirm. i feel the heat on his breath when he sticks out his tongue and sucks my core. he sits up and holds his dick, moving the the tip up and down against my folds.

“damn it spencer,” sounding like a whining brat, “stick it in already.”

he slams it in, thrusting forcefully, but slowly.

“faster.”

“yes baby”

i moan, grabbing his hair for support while my back arches even more, begging for more.

he speeds up, faster and faster, filling the office with the sound of unholy clicking, and not the type of clicking that comes from a clock. wet clicking.

i keep moaning his name…

“spencer, spencer, spencer?, oh fuck spencer, yes, please, fuck, fuck, spencer, i’m gonna cum im gonna cum, spencer.”

my head jolts back as he rails me through my orgasm.

…

now we’re laying on top of each other on his, now, filthy desk, covered in our cum and sweat. as we catch our breath i say unconsciously out loud,

“oh shit.”

i feel his laugh vibrating from his chest to mine.

“no, spencer, this is bad.”

“why?”

i sit up now realizing the mistake i made. he mirrors my action with a concerned expression.

“isn’t there some kind of rule in the university’s handbook that forbids students from having sexual relations with their teachers? i mean that’s considering that an average professor would be much older than them, usually it would be illegal anyways. do you think they would make some sort of exception? wait, do you think we’d have to tell them? will i get suspended? will you loose your job? oh my god, ok. so what if… what?”

he keeps staring at me rambling with a goofy smile plastered on his face that’s suppressing a laugh.

“whattt?”

“you know no one has to know about this, right?”

“but what if someone finds out?”

“y/n, what time did i have you come meet me in this office?”

“7pm”

“mhm.”

my eyes widen at the realization.

“ok so you made me come over when you knew the office would be closed just so you could confess your feelings to me, in your office, when the building was closed and everyone went back home?”

“yeah.”

“you know you could’ve just invited me over to your place. you didn’t have to make it so complicated.”

“well our situation is complicated, and if we want to continue to explore this ‘situation,’ we’re gonna have to be sneaky.”

i feel my face heating up.

“soo your likee my secret loverrrr”

he cracks a smile.

“i guess this’ll be our little secret.”

…

after we get back in our clothes and walk out together to our cars, he turns to me and says,

“hey y/n, have you completed mission impossible?”

“yup, what about you?”

“yeah, same.”

😱😱😱 THE END 😱😱😱

[jinx-s-things]

She loves you Pt.2

Warnings: violence, Blood, manipulation, gaslighting

This was loosely based on misery, pt.1 is here

You looked at her in total disbelief, so many emotions and thoughts ran through your head. “W-why?” You stuttered, you could hear Amber chuckling silently. It made your stomach drop she leans in to caresses your face, Her hands felt as cold as ice.

You completely froze not knowing what to do. She was looking straight at you not once blinking, you were looking around the cold and colourless room. You look back “Tell me why I’m here now!” Amber sighed, “I brought you here because I need you, The first time I ever met you I knew that you were mine. So I had this plan where I hid that letter in your bag and it worked” she laughs moving away from you.

“You’re Fucking insane! I thought we were friends… oh my god this is so fucked up.”

All you could do was cry, you hoped it was all just a nightmare and you would wake up soon. Amber could never do this she was your best friend since like forever.

“How long have you have you had this plan?” You ask. She walks back over to you holding something behind her back.

“About a few months ago, I have followed you home everyday and you never even noticed” she smiled. You got a chill down your spine.

_

It’s been a few weeks and you’re still locked in this room But after a while Amber started letting you leave the room. You haven’t any alone time to think about what’s happened, Amber’s been with you constantly even as far as to sleep in the same room. She keeps you on high alert you never know what mood she’s going to be in.

Some days she praises you with compliments and gifts like she’s trying to win you over but then the next full of rage calling you all the names.

It’s been awhile since you thought of days and the time. Heck it could even be a different year by now. Just lying on the bed looking at the ceiling u hear a crash, you got scared it’s one of Ambers rage days. As Amber burst through the door “this is taking too long” just as she’s saying that you notice a hammer in her hand. You try to move but stumbled, The next minute you feel the worst pain in your arm then the next arm, you hear a crack. The pain is so bad, you pass out.

Not sure how long you’ve been out for when you woke, you were hazy and then it all came flooding back including the pain. Focusing your eyes you force yourself to look down, what a mess. You see both arms plaster cast in slings, on one you notice there’s something carved. You try to focus but your still a bit woozy, you see a heart has Been carved in with a message next to it you move your head slightly to see it said ‘love you always Amber xxx.’

“Ah you’re awake finally” Amber burst through the door with some pain medication. You’re a bit weary but you’re so desperate for pain relief. She gives you the pain meds.

“Why the hell did you do that!” You scream,

Amber chuckles and calmly leans in. “I did it for us baby” you couldn’t help but get lost in her deep brown eyes.I have a surprise for you. She presented you with a heart shaped velvet box, She slowly opens it to reveal a beautiful necklace with half of a human looking heart pendant. You notice Amber is wearing the other half

“Look they have our blood inside them, now a piece of me will always be with you.”

It’s been 4 weeks of Amber doing everything for you as your arms regain their strength. As the weeks go on you start to feel a deep devotion. Amber has been planning this thing you don’t know anything about but she said she’ll tell you when she’s finished. You were quite nervous for what she could she be planning still you trust Amber.

As you were stretching your arms, Amber came in looking excited. “It’s nearly time, your arms are getting strong.”

“Please give me a clue” you say

“Stop asking I’ll tell you when I finish the masks” masks? You say to yourself. You feel your eyes begin to droop and slowly fall asleep.

When you awake Amber’s in the room with almost giddy with excitement. “I finally worked out my plan” she announced you were a bit disoriented but you were eager to know what the plan was. “I’ll get you some breakfast first” Amber walks out the room but she came within minutes. She let you enjoy your breakfast. Then she began to explain, once she was done you stared in shock. She handed you the mask, slowly you took it and looked back up at her.

“You in?” She said then smirked you thought for a moment and replied. “Yes”

[leossmoonn]

In love with ur Mike writings<33 can you write something about spending your first thanksgiving with Mike and Abby?

thank you :D and yes omg i love this idea!

bro this lowk angsty but it has a happy ending lol

————

thanksgiving was not something mike really did. he wasn’t really thankful for anything in his life — besides abby, of course. he hated his job, his house, his car, his nightmares. and even though abby and mike butt heads sometimes — all the time — he was thankful he had somebody like her to keep him getting out of bed in the morning and working. he started to feel just a tad better about his life when you came into the picture.

on the holidays, usually mike would take abby out to restaurants to have a meal. granted, abby rarely ate anything, but they both collectively agreed that it was special. but now that you were with mike, things changed.

“do you cook during thanksgiving?” you ask a week before the holiday.

“um, no,” mike shakes his head. “we usually go to like, applebee’s or something.”

“oh, how fancy,” you tease. mike chuckles softly and nods. “it’s a lot less expensive, believe it or not. we rarely go out anyways, so it’s like a little treat for us.”

“i see,” you hum. “would you want to continue your little tradition?”

he shrugs, “i don’t know why we wouldn’t. we have nothing better to do.”

“i could think of something,” you say. he glances at you. “you can come with us, if that’s what you were thinking. you’re always invited out with abby and i.”

you can’t help but smile. god, he’s so cute when he’s clueless. you take his hand and he turns his full attention from the tv to you.

“i was thinking we could have a proper thanksgiving.”

mike’s heart stops. “uh, uhm… no, it’s fine. it would take all day to cook and abby might not even eat anything. that’s so much food and money wasted.”

“don’t you worry about the money. i got it covered,” you take his hand in yours. “and we can cut down the portions. make a small thanksgiving meal and make just enough to have leftovers the next day. i think it would be fun. i can start cooking tonight, even.”

mike sucks in a breath, hesitating to say yes, even though he wants to. he hasn’t had a thanksgiving dinner since before garrett disappeared. it’s so painful for him to think of his last thanksgiving. it’s one of the last happy memories he has with his family. and now you want to do it with him, which was just another issue in itself for mike.

he’s not used to people doing things for him. and when they do, he pushes them away.

albeit, he’s started to get used to accepting favors and help, and it’s all thanks to you. all the dinner dates you’ve gone on, you’ve probably paid in full for half of them, and split the check on the rest. you’ve paid for every sporting event you’ve taken mike to. you’ve bought him clothes he obviously wanted, but kept insisting he didn’t want them because they costed money. he always feels terrible because it should be the other way around, but you’ve always assured him that you don’t mind. you love spoiling him because you truly thinks he deserves it. and he always makes up for it with little things like buying you flowers, gift cards, and sweet treats.

something about spending thanksgiving with you just makes him nervous and uncomfortable. thanksgiving for him reminds him of family and he hasn’t had a family since he was a kid. if he starts to think of you, abby and him as a family, he’s afraid that it’ll disappear just like it has before. but he knows what happened was a decade or so ago. he’s not the same little boy he was. abby’s safe with him and you. he knows he’s safe with you.

“sure,” he nods slowly. “are you sure, mike?” you ask, knowing exactly what’s going through his head. “we really don’t have to. we can go to applebee’s or texas roadhouse or something. i just… i think it would be nice.”

he nods in agreement. “no, i do, too. really. i-i’m excited.” there is truth in his words and you can see it in the twinkle in his eyes.

“great! tell me every dish you like for thanksgiving and what abby might like, and we shop for ingredients tonight!”

the next day went surprisingly well. you showed up at mike’s at the ass crack of dawn, awake and ready to bake and cook all day. you made all of mike’s favorites: green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, ham, and peach pie. you both agreed to make abby some spaghetti and meatballs and cookies as a back up plan.

“do you we want to say what we are all thankful for or dig in?” you ask.

“let’s dig in!” abby exclaims. you chuckle and move to cut her some ham, but mike stops you. “let’s, uh, say what we are thankful for first.”

abby groans, “i’m hungry.” “please, abs. the food won’t disappear,” mike says.

she nods and complies, placing her hands in her lap.

“abby, why don’t you start,” you suggest.

“okay,” she nods. “i’m thankful for um… cartoons, disney princesses, crayons and you! and mike, i guess,” she adds quickly.

mike and you share a laugh.

“i’ll go next,” you say. “i’m thankful for my mom and my grandparents. i’m thankful for the twilight movies and my cat.” you then grab mike and abby’s hands, squeezing them both. “and i’m so thankful for you two. my life feels so fulfilled with you two in it. i really appreciate you guys letting me in and join your family.”

abby grins up at you. “we think you’re awesome, too.” “thank you, abby,” you say, patting her back lovingly.

you then turn to mike who is tapping the table with his free hand. “i am, uh, thankful that i somehow still have a job. i’m thankful that my parents gave me another sibling, whom i love very much.” he gives abby a little smile and she sticks her tongue out, not being able to contain her own smile. mike turns his head to you, eyes scanning your face as he wipes his sweaty hand on his jeans.

“and i’m thankful for you. i know i have a lot of shortcomings and before you deny it, we both know it’s true. you just… for some reason see something in me. and i’m just really glad that you’ve stuck with me and shown me how to be better and do better. you’ve given me hope and make me look forward to waking up every day. i’ve never had something so steady before, so constant. i…i hope that you continue to be that for me, and i hope that in the future i can continue to show how much i appreciate you.”

you sniffle once he’s done and realize you’ve started to cry.

“oh, i-i’m sorry,” mike rushes out. “i didn’t mean to —”

“i love you, honey,” you lean over and peck his cheek.

abby groans and her stomach grumbles. “please stop! the food is getting cold.”

“sorry, abs,” you pat her back. “what would you like to eat? we made some spaghetti, too, if you —”

“i want ham and bread!”

“you got it, babe,” you say. mike helps you cut the ham, giving a piece to everyone. you all dig in and mike realizes how much he missed this, how much he’s wanted this for so long. he places his hand on your thigh, squeezing it. “i love you, too.”

[notstilinski]

Kevin Can F Himself Starters !

Taken from season two of the 2021 AMC series, Kevin Can F Himself! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers for the series!

“We’ll fix it together, okay?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve never had a hostage before. I’m not great at it yet.”

“I have no idea. I can’t tell if it’s been twenty minutes or eight hours.”

“Okay. So you’re done trying to kill my best friend. Congrats. You still tried once!”

“How the hell am I dating a cop?”

“Maybe they don’t care when I whine, but he laughs when you bleed.”

“They say ‘we’ all the time like you’re in this together, but, (Name), where are they?”

“They tried to kill them. Can you believe? Bitches tried to kill me, too.”

“Jesus. The nightmare continues.”

“I mean ‘cause you have the general vibe of a sad dog in a cone.”

“I don’t want to be me anymore.”

“I swear to you, I am working on it. Because I really do want you around.”

“I only wish you hit me harder so I could forget all this shit.”

“I’m not in (Name), but the general sense of failure just, sorta, trickles down.”

“Who knew there was a version of death sadder than regular death?”

“It just feels like punishment for dying alone.”

“I’m not like you, I can’t just pretend to like things.”

“You ever think that it’s not that you have a bad sense of direction, you just gotta pay attention to where you’re going?”

“I’ve been squatting in the basement for the past two weeks.”

“The more times you bring up the one nice thing you ever did for me, the less nice it gets.”

“Did a demon just achieve its final, most powerful form in our kitchen?”

“See how I say that with no visible eye roll?”

“It just seems like you’re someone who never had to share.”

“If I play the field, I’ll end up under it.”

“And you don’t like me. It’s fine. People don’t have to like each other.”

“Not when I’ve just been insulted and rejected by a man who I always thought of as my creepy uncle.”

“Yeah, and maybe that stuff was worth it when I thought we might actually be together.”

“Yeah, and I swore I’d never talk to a cop without a lawyer present, but here we are.”

“When I think too much about something, that’s the second I start talking myself out of it, okay?”

“You’re a hazard.”

“Uh, fun is for people with disposable income.”

“I woke up. Another win.”

“Well, they did corner me last night and told me sobriety was the reason I’m not fun anymore.”

“That’s residual priest nervousness, if you ask me.”

“What does the beauty matter if there is no other soul to share it with?”

“Okay. Is that true or is that just what /they/ tell you?”

“I don’t want to have to worry about him, but I can’t stop worrying about him.”

“(Name) will be fine. (Name)’s always fine.”

“There’s a reason that ‘drinking’ rhymes with ‘thinking.’”

“Because you’re just so excited to die?”

“I feel like I dropped something and I feel it next to me. And I’m trying to figure out what it is, and I’m lying there wide awake convinced that if I don’t pick it up, then something terrible is going to happen.”

“Oh, sure, like you’re suddenly concerned about me.”

“Maybe I just don’t want to be alone. And maybe there’s not always a difference.”

“They laughed. They didn’t listen to me at all. No one listens to me.”

“(Name) would have died without you? Maybe you should go home sometimes.”

“I think it’s rearranging deck chairs at the Titanic at this point.”

“I’ll see you for three weeks in February while I work on my tan!”

“I don’t think they realized it. They gave everything up to protect me.”

“And now that I’m left here without them, I don’t feel better off. I just feel… left.”

“I’m not really concerned with protecting (Name). Or anyone like them, really.”

“Well, but you know that we’re not actually better off without you, right?”

“Without me, you will have nothing. Because I will fucking destroy you.”

“I had a terrible, terrible day. And you’re the only person I hang out with now. Is that okay?”

“Let’s die alone together."

[milesdickpic]

His Little Girl | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader P.78

Click here to see the master list

Hi, babes! We are back with anotha one! I can't thank you all enough for the unconditional love and support. Thank you for everyone that has returned to read my story! Thank you to the new readers who have taken interest in it! I love you all so much! ❤️ Happy reading and enjoy! 💕

A/n: This one is gonna do a doozy on some of you, besties. There is a lot going on here, BUT there is also a surprise coming 😈 Bradley is going through a million different emotions from the accident, how will this pan out? 🫣

Word Count: 5.5k (FINALLY A LONG ONE YOU ALL DESERVE)

Warnings: crying, cursing, description of injuries, signs of PTSD, PTSD behaviors, mentions of death, anxiousness, depression, sadness, self-doubt, but more love and excitement ❤️

Please don't take my work, I will find you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next week, some of the days and nights, not all of them, it was rough. It seemed like anytime Bradley had fallen asleep or taken a nap he would succumbed to his dreams. He would wake up in a panic or wake up yelling. After his nightmares he would feel so defeated, he would cry and apologize to you endlessly. You felt horrible that your husband was going through it. You just wanted to take away his pain. All you could do was reassure him he was okay and it would get better. It was normal for this to be happening, he went through something traumatic. You’d be worried if he didn’t act this way. You continued to comfort and care for him day in and day out. You would do anything for him. He was everything to you. 

You were in the kitchen making snacks for everyone. Leia and Mav were outside playing in the backyard with Gunner. Phoenix and Hangman were gone at work. Austin was on the couch with Bradley playing video games. Bradley really started to confide in Austin about his troubles. He said it was easier to talk to someone that didn’t know anything about the military. It was easier to talk about everything instead of having to feel he had to hide some parts of it. Austin was happy to be someone that Bradley could confide in and help. 

You brought over a tray of snacks. “Bradley the doctor will be over today to see you.” You kissed his head. “I think he’ll be proud of you that you are able to get around on your own and do more.” You smiled and sat on the couch as you rubbed your belly.

“Austin do you think, you could go and get Leia and Mav for snack time? I want to talk to y/n for a little bit.”

Austin patted Bradley’s thigh and nodded. “Of course.” 

Bradley gestured for you to come and sit with him. He threw his arm over your shoulder. “Sweetheart. I want to apologize for everything.”

You furrowed your brows at Bradley. “Please Bradley. Don’t start, baby.” You placed your hand on his cheek.

He shook his head. “No. You’re having to deal with my issues, my pain, you’re having to care for me, for everyone…” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you. Not the other way around.” He looked at you sadly. 

You kissed his lips gently. “Bradley Nicolas Bradshaw, you stop that right now.”

“But sweetheart.”

You shook your head and held his face firm in your hands, “You are my husband. I vowed to always take care of you. Even if I didn’t vow I would do it in a heartbeat. You mean the world to me, Brad. Please don’t apologize. You’re going through a rough time, and I want you to know… no matter what I will be here by your side. No matter how hard. I love you so much, please don’t apologize.” You pushed the hair from his face and smiled. “It’s you and me forever, Brad.”

He laid into your palm. “What did I do to deserve you?”

You giggled, “Simple.” You kissed his nose. “You were you.” You smiled. He looked at you with his puppy dog eyes and kissed you.

“I love you, sweetheart. Thank you for loving me, always.”

———

Later on that day, the doctor came by to check on Bradley. They were surprised with the progress he was making on his own. They wanted to start him on slow and small physical therapy with his arm. He was to start moving it little by little everyday so it wouldn’t be so stiff when it came time to remove his stitches and staples. 

“Daddy, for therapy can we play the piano together?” Leia laid on his shoulder and smiled up at him.

“You know, that would be a great idea. It’ll help with little movement in your arm.” The doctor smiled at Bradley and Leia.

Bradley nodded at Leia and kissed her head, “You are so smart my girl.” 

———-

Over the next week Bradley was doing more things around the house for himself. He was able to shower and change into his own clothes. He was progressing very well. He was really pushing himself to get better. Even though you told him you loved caring for him, he still felt bad that you were. He started to play the electric piano Bob got for Leia for Christmas, with Leia multiple times a day. He taught her about each note and how to read music sheets. She was so smart she was picking it up quickly.

Bradley’s POV 

“Daddy, can you teach me how to play Great Balls of Fire? I’m already an expert with twinkle twinkle. I think I need more of a challenge.” She raised her brows at me.

I chuckled, “Of course, I can baby. Maybe you’ll learn it quicker than your mommy.” I winked at her and you scoffed from the kitchen. “Okay, baby. Help daddy take his sling off, I’m going to need both hands for this.” She nodded and started to carefully take off my arm sling. 

“Is this okay, daddy? Does it hurt? Do you need medicine?” Leia rubbed my arm gently as the sling came off. 

I kissed her head, “I’m okay, sweetheart. Thank you.” I smiled and sat her in my lap. “You ready for this?” She nodded. “Okay we are gonna do the easy version until you get it, okay?” I kissed her cheek.

“No, daddy. I want the hard version. I can do it!” She bounced in my lap.

“Oh my goodness, Leia Rey!” I laughed, “Okay. We can try the hard version.” I grabbed her hand and placed each of her fingers on the keys. “Okay so you’re gonna have to spread your fingers out wide.” She placed her hands on the keys, “Okay, and you’re going to push this one.” I pushed her fingers down into the keys, “Then this.” I showed her the next ones. “This, and then these.” She nodded. “Okay. Show me baby. In that same order.”

She played the ones I showed her. “And then I’ll play these parts.” I started to play with my bad arm trying to get some movement. “So you’ll play at that pace as I play these okay? We will practice those for a while and go from there. Sound good?” 

She nodded and looked back to me. “Can you play the song first, daddy? So we can sing it again?” 

I nodded and kissed her head. “Of course baby. I’m gonna be a little rusty, Daddy is still trying to get strong okay?” 

“You got it, daddy. Don’t think. Just do.” She giggled. 

I stretched out my arm slowly. We went over to the dinner table and placed the piano on it. I played a couple of keys to get familiar with the feelings. “Okay here we go, honey. Momma, sing along too if you wanna.” I chuckled and began to play. 

-plays Great Balls of Fire-

I played slow at first trying to get a feel for it. It wasn’t bad so I picked up. 

“Too much love drives a man insane!” I shook my head as I sang and Leia jumped around. You sang from the kitchen as you were cleaning. 

“You broke my will, but what a thrill.” 

Leia jumped up onto the table. “GOODNESS GRACIOUS, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!” She threw her hands up in the air as she yelled it. 

I continued to play. The pain from the movement in my arm started to subside and it felt really good to get some proper circulation to it. I bobbed my head and continued to sing and play as you and Leia danced around and sang with me. 

“Kiss me baby!” Leia came over and kissed my cheek, “Oooooh, that feels good baby.” You and Leia both held onto me. “Hold me baby!” I started to chuckle. “I wanna love you like a lover should.” I winked at you, “YOU’RE FINE!” And I winked at Leia, “YOU’RE SO KIND!” 

Mav came into the front door smiling, I stopped playing for a second and waved over to him. He just came back from walking Gunner. 

“Papa Mav! Come and join us! We are singing while daddy does therapy!” She ran over to Mav and started to pull him though the house. He started to chuckle.

“Slow down, sweetheart!” He looked at me and smiled, “What are we singing?” 

I smirked, “A classic.” 

He nodded, “Let’s hear it.” 

“START IT FROM THE TOP, DADDY!” Leia pumped her fist in the air. I started to laugh. 

I restarted the song. I looked at Mav as I started up. He smiled big and shook his head. The girls started to sing as I played. “Oh come on, Mav don’t be shy now!” 

He nodded his head and chuckled. He started to sing with all of us. He picked up Leia and sat her on the table. He poked at her stomach as we sang, “You broke my will, but what a thrill. Goodness gracious great balls of fire!” 

He picked her up and held her against his hip as they danced around and sang. “I’ve changed my mind, this love is kind, GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!” 

He spun around with Leia in the kitchen as she giggled and held onto him tightly. “Papa you’re going so fast!” She was squealing and he was still singing to her. 

You placed your hands on my shoulders and danced behind me as I yelled the song at the top of my lungs. I started to dance in the seat and you started to laugh and kiss my head over and over again. 

I looked up at you and sang, “I’ma tell the world that you’re mine, mine, mine, mine!” You kissed my lips. 

I looked over at Mav and Leia. He was jumping around with her in his arms. 

“GOODNESS GRACIOUS, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!” 

Mav threw Leia up into the air, “YEE HAAW!” And caught her giving her a bunch of kisses before letting her down. 

“Papa that was fun! Can we do it again?” Leia clung onto Mav’s neck.

He started to laugh, “I would love to, sweetheart. But let’s get your daddy his medicine first.” He kissed her cheek and let her down. 

He came over to me with my medication for the day and some water. He rubbed my shoulder lightly as he checked the healing. “You’re looking so good, Rooster. It’s healing well.”

I took my medication and chuckled. “Thanks, Mav. I can’t wait to start working out again. I am so squishy.” I squished my stomach in my hands and raised my brows. 

“I love your scruff and your dad bod thats coming in. I think it’s really hot.” You kissed me on my cheek. 

Mav covered Leia’s ears, “All right, not around the Jedi.” He started to laugh. 

———-

Your POV

Over the next couple of weeks, Bradley really progressed. It was time for him to go to the doctor and get his stitches and staples removed. He sat there patiently. He was excited to finally get them out. 

“Babe, I am so excited to get these freaking things out. I’ll finally be able to do more, start physical therapy. WORK OUT!” He sighed and smiled. “Finally!”

Mav came into the room with the doctor. They were laughing as they entered.

“Lieutenant Commander.” They came and shook my hand. “Are you ready to get these all removed?” 

He nodded and his eyes went wide. “So fucking ready.” You shot Bradley a shocked look. “I apologize. I’m just really excited.” 

The doctor laughed and started to check Bradley’s body’s progress to see how he was healing. They said he was on track with healing, if not already super ahead where he was supposed to be. They had him strip his shirt and they started to check his shoulder. 

They started to remove his staples from his shoulder. Bradley was super excited as they started to pull them. “I can’t even feel them, I’m so excited.” He smiled big at you and rubbed his hands together. The doctor held him still and chuckled. He was bouncing in excitement like a kid in a candy store. “Sorry. I’ll say still.”

As Bradley got his staples removed, Mav put his arm around you and leaned into you. “Sweetheart, do you think we could talk for a moment?” He gave you a sweet smile and nodded over to the door. 

“Yes, of course.” Bradley looked at both of you and you pointed to the door, “We’ll be right here, baby. We will be back.” He nodded to you and Mav.

Mav closed the door behind you and him, “Sweetheart. I’ll have to be going back to San Diego later on tonight.” You nodded and he rubbed your arm. “I am so sorry, I intended to stay longer, but I can’t take another leave.”

You smiled and gave him a hug, “Mav. Please don’t apologize. I am thankful you even took some time to come out here and help.” You hugged him tight.

He placed a kiss on your head and rubbed your back, “I really wish I could stay longer to help you and Rooster. I don’t want to leave you both and Leia.” He sighed against your hair, “Of course I came. I would do anything for you two. Anything you need, you just call me and I’ll make it work. I’ll find a way.” He hugged you tight.

“Thank you, Mav. For everything.” 

You and Mav entered the room and the doctor was finishing up removing the stitches and staples from Bradley’s clavicle. Bradley had a smile plastered on his face as the doctor let him know how many stitches he had left to be removed. When the doctor finally finished removing his stitches and staples, Bradley ran his hand over the area. 

“Wow, that feels really weird. I finally feel like I can stretch my arm up without splitting my cuts open.” He started to chuckle and he slowly raised his arm up. 

The doctor started to test his range of motion. They moved his arm up, down, side to side, gently and slowly as they made sure the healing didn’t constrict his range of motion. Bradley winced at some of the soreness he was experiencing with some of the movements. 

“Everything looks like it’s coming along, Lieutenant Commander. We are just going to do a couple of X-rays on your shoulder and chest to make sure everything else is doing well too. Then from there, we can schedule you to start more vigorous therapy to help you get stronger again.” They patted his back and gave him a smile.

Bradley looked over at you and smiled. “I can’t wait to fly again, sweetheart.”

The doctor quickly looked at Bradley when he mentioned flying. Bradley furrowed his brows at the doctor. “I will fly again, right?” His voice grew concerned. 

“Lieutenant…”

Bradley interrupted them, “What? You’re not going to tell me I can’t right?” He looked at Mav with hurt in his eyes, “Please tell them I’ll fly again. I want to fly again.” Mav stayed quiet and looked at the doctor. “Mav.” Bradley had so much hurt in his tone. He looked at you, “Sweetheart.”

“Bradley…”

He shook his head, “I won’t take no for an answer. I’m going to fly again.”

Mav came over to Bradley and rubbed his back, “Let’s just take it step by step, Rooster. There are steps we have to take to make sure you’re good to fly.” 

Bradley sighed and nodded, “All right.” He looked at the doctor. “So the X-ray now?” The doctor nodded and lead him to the X-ray room. You and Mav stayed behind.

Mav placed his head in his hands and you sat next to him placing your hand on his back, “Mav, will he fly again?”

He looked up at you and gave you a weak smile, “I hope so. He’s worked so hard to get here. He has to go about the board, they’re already doing investigations as to what happened. From my side, I see no foul play. This was purely out of his training instinct and trying to save his partner. It’s just the Navy is strict with pilot’s coming back from injuries. If they feel it is in his best interest he doesn’t fly due to his injuries…” He sighed and sat back in the chair.

“He’ll never fly again…” You said sadly and your heart hurt for Bradley. You knew how much he loved flying. How much he loved his job. How this was his way of feeling close to his dad. You knew he would be heart broken if he couldn’t continue to fly, especially this early in his career. 

Mav nodded. “I hope he recovers fully, has no issues. Because then without a doubt he will fly, but he has to prove himself to these doctors that he is capable and can do it.”

You laid your head on Mav, “Do you think he’ll make it through?” 

Mav laid on your head and nodded, “He’s just like his dad and his mom. He’s gonna do it. I know it.” He looked at you from the side of his eye. “Do you think he will?”

You nodded, “I know he will. He’s Bradley. He has that longing determination. When he wants something he doesn’t stop until he gets it. He’s like you, Mav.”

You felt Mav smile against your head. He chuckled, “He just does it properly, sweetheart.”

———-

Bradley came back from the x-ray room and sat on the examination chair. The doctor went to go and get his x-rays to go over them with the three of you. Bradley sat in silence, slightly anxious for what his results were going to look like. You went over and kissed his cheek, “It’s going to be okay, baby. You’ve been doing so good. It’ll just take time, okay?”

He smiled and nodded at you, “Thank you, baby. You always know what to say.” He chuckled and kissed you back. 

The doctor came in and placed Bradley’s x-rays on the viewer. 

“Everything is look very well. You are healing fine. However, you will have to go through therapy to help stretch out that movement in your shoulder and clavicle. If it’s not treated properly, you can get stiffness in your neck. Limiting your mobility.”

Bradley nodded, “Let’s get this thing started then.” He smiled optimistically. 

———-

You, Mav, and Bradley arrived back to the house. Everyone was home at the time. Mav had sat everyone down and explained that he was going to leave later on that night back for San Diego. 

Everyone was sad that he would be leaving, but they all thanked him for his duration of stay. Bradley took it the hardest. He didn’t want Mav to leave. He felt that he really needed him for help. 

Bradley’s POV 

“Mav, do you think we could talk before you go?” I patted Mav’s back. 

Mav nodded, “Of course.” 

We went out into the backyard and sat on the lounging chairs. He leaned forward and patted my leg. “What’s on your mind, kiddo?”

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. “It’s the nightmares. Negative thoughts. The flashes of memories. What I remember and what I saw.” I pushed my lips together and became tense.

Mav patted my leg and squeezed my knee. “Hey. It’s going to be okay. Tell me about all of it, Bradley.”

I gulped and took a deep breath. “I keep having nightmares. It's a reoccurring one where I save Riot and I’m going down. Phoenix is screaming for me. I get it nearly every time I close my eyes.” 

Mav nodded and wiped his hand over his mouth. “Hey, It’s normal to be having these nightmares. Do they always end the same? Or are there different endings to them?” 

“They end the same.” I looked down and my breath was shaky. “I die.”

Mav pulled his chair closer to mine and pulled me in for a hug. “Bradley. I am so sorry you are having this nightmare. It’s just a nightmare and that is all it will ever be. Remember. You are here with all of us. You are doing absolutely amazing. Do not let it take over you. It isn’t your reality.” He rubbed my back and I laid on his shoulder. 

“Mav, I haven’t told anyone this. Especially not y/n.” My breath heightened. “But I think I was meant to die.” 

I could feel Mav tense against me and hold me tighter. He started to shake his head. “Bradley.”

I pulled back and started to shake my head. “No Mav. I’m serious.”

“Bradley.”

“Mav. I don’t think I was supposed to be here.” I started to panic.

“BRADLEY!” Mav’s voice was stern. Snapping me out of my episode. I looked at his tearful eyes. “Please. Bradley stop.” His voice was shaking with every word.

“Mav. They were there.” A tear fell onto my cheek. He was still holding my face in his hands. His face grew with confusion.

“Who was there?”

I gulped. “Mom and Dad.” 

Mav straightened out his back and looked at me with soft, but wide eyes. “Bradley…” He barely whispered my name. He grabbed my shoulders and gave me a little shake. “Hey.” I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

I sniffled. “They were there, Mav.” I sighed. “I was going down so fast. The emergency chute wasn’t coming out after mine was shredded by the debris. When I hit the water, I felt so cold. I was fighting to get up, but it went black. I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper. It was so dark and cold. I was alone. There was no one, but me. I was in a dark place dragging my heavy soggy chute. My flight suit weighed me down. I was calling out for y/n. My babies.” I looked down and closed my eyes. It all started to play again. 

“Take your time, Bradley. It’s okay.” Mav rubbed my arm and placed his hand on my knee. “I’m here, kiddo. Talk about it.”

I nodded and sighed. I kept my eyes closed as I described it, it started to play again. Everything I saw. 

“I was walking alone. It was dark. I could hear the water swishing below my feet. I was lugging my chute, clenching the pictures I had of y/n and the kids. I started to cry because I was lost, scared, cold. Then there was a really bright light. It was so bright I couldn’t open my eyes to it. Then I felt warmth. I finally pried my eyes open and there they were. Holding me. Mom was sobbing and shaking her head as she held my face in her palms. I started to cry too. Dad was picking up my chute and helping me hold it as he held my mom and me.”

I started to cry. “Mom said I shouldn’t be here with them. But she was happy to see me. That she missed me so much, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Dad was crying. He held me tight and said I needed to fight. That it wasn’t my time, yet. I didn’t want to leave them. I wanted to stay. They walked with me through the beach they used to take me to all the time when I was a kid.”

Mav nodded. “I remember that beach. You got your first bad sunburn out there when you were 2.” He let out a little chuckle.

I wiped my nose and laughed, “Yeah. That one.” I cleared my throat and looked back up at Mav. “I showed them the pictures that I had. They told me I couldn’t leave them behind. That I needed to fight to be with them. I could hear y/n talking to me every day. Mom and Dad loved the way her voice sounded as it echoed through my lifeless body. Mom and Dad cried when I had to leave. But they promised me they are always with me. That they’ll always be with me.”

Mav pulled me in for a hug. “I love you, Bradley.” He held me tight in his embrace. “Your parents were right. It wasn’t your time. You still have to be here, for a long time. I thank god, that they sent you back. That you fought to be here. I couldn’t lose you. Y/n couldn’t lose you. The kids couldn’t lose you.”

I sighed and nodded into Mav’s shoulder. “I just feel so lost without them, Mav.”

Mav pulled back and placed his hand on my cheek. “You are a great husband, father, friend, PILOT. I know it's hard without them, but you have done so much. You paved your way.”

I looked down and gulped. “Are you proud of me, Mav?”

He sighed and chuckled. “Are you really asking me that?” I nodded. He playfully smacked his hand into my cheek a little harder and made me look up. “Bradley. I am so proud of you and all you’ve done with your life. You have exceeded anything and everything I wanted for you. I couldn’t be more proud of you than I am right now. But I know that's going to change because you’re going to do so much more with your life. I am so damn proud of you, Bradley. Don’t ever doubt that.” He smiled at me and patted my cheek. “How dare you ask me that.”

I started to laugh and he pulled me into him. “I thank god every day that your mom and dad brought you into my life.”

I smiled and hugged him back. “I thank god you became best friends with my dad. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

———-

Your POV

Bradley and Mav finally came back in from being out in the backyard. “Mav, I don’t want you to go. What am I going to do without you?” Bradley sighed as he looked at Mav.

Mav smiled and put his arm around Bradley’s shoulders. “I’m just a call away. If you need anything. You can call at anytime. I’ll always be here for you, kiddo. I’m not going anywhere. AND if it’s something urgent. I can be here within 5 hours.” He chuckled as he hugged Bradley. 

Leia laid on Austin’s arm and hugged him, “Does that mean you’re going home now too, Austie?” She looked up at him sadly. 

Austin ran his hand through Leia’s hair and kissed her forehead, he sighed. “Darlin, I don’t know how to tell you this.” He looked at her sadly, but then he looked at Phoenix with a smirk and she tried to hide her smile. 

Bradley rolled his eyes, “Oh god, what did you do?” 

Austin sighed and put his arm around Phoenix and Leia. “Well, I called my agency back in San Diego to check how my patient was doing while I was gone. They had informed me she had gotten a new care taker and I am officially on the market.” He looked at Bradley and smiled. “I asked if I could inquire in on a new patient and I gave them a suggestion of mine.”

Hangman started to laugh, “Oh fuck. You didn’t.”

Austin smiled and winked at Leia, “Oh, but I did.” He looked over at Bradley and smiled, “You, sir, are looking at your new caregiver for the next couple of months until you get back fully on your feet. IF, thats alright with you, Lieutenant Commander.”

Bradley started to laugh, “Holy shit.” He put his face into his hands, “Are you serious? They let you do that?”

Austin nodded, “Only if you want it.” 

Bradley was lost for words, “Yea. Holy shit. Yes. That’ll be great. Thank you so much, man. It’ll definitely be help to y/n as well. She won’t have to do so much for me.” Bradley got up and hugged Austin. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Austin patted Bradley’s back gently, “Of course, Brad.”

———-

Later that night you were all saying your goodbyes to Mav as he was getting into Phantom’s Camaro to head to the airport. Leia ran after Mav and hugged him tight. “I’m going to miss you, Papa Mav.” She was looking down and frowning. 

Mav knelt down and picked up her chin, “My little Jedi.” Leia looked up at him sadly, “Don’t be sad, I’ll just be a phone call away. I need you to take care of dad, okay? Be a big strong girl. Make sure he takes his medicine and he does his exercises everyday?” He nodded at Leia. “Okay?” He gave her a warm smile and she nodded slowly, “Hey, Jedi. Look at me.” She looked up and gave him puppy dog eyes. He chuckled, “Your dad used to give me the same look.” He kissed her cheek, “I need you to be a big girl. You’re gonna be a big sister. I know you’ll be the best big sister ever.” He pinched her chin, “I’m just a phone call away, little Jedi. Don’t be sad. It’ll go by fast and I’ll see you soon. Okay?” 

She clung onto Mav and didn’t want to let go. “Can you tell Uncle Rob, Rue, Mickey, and ‘Yote that I miss and love them, Papa Mav?” 

He nodded and kissed her hair, “I will, sweetheart. I love you, Leia.”

She hugged him tighter, “I love you too, Papa Mav. Give Penny and Amelia hugs and kisses for me.” She pulled back and gave him a small smile. 

Mav cupped her face and smiled. “Of course.” He kissed her cheeks and waved bye to everyone. 

———- 

Bradley started to go to therapy at the training facility near the tarmac. He was so excited to be near the jets again. His view was the tarmac so he got to watch as everyone would take off and land. He would spend at least 4 hours at the facility working on his mobility overall. Then sometimes he would stay to go and see his pilots on the tarmac. Bradley started to progress with his injuries and the doctors said his future with flying started to look promising. He even went about the board and they didn’t rule him at fault for the accident that had occurred, just like Mav had said. 

You were at home with Austin. Leia was over at Phantom and Evelyn’s house playing with Kaia and Kamalani. Phoenix, Hangman, and Bradley were at work for the day. Bradley was due to come back around 4 PM, but if he decided he wanted to stay longer he would usually text you, to let you know. 

You were standing at the kitchen sink doing some dishes from the night before. Austin was cleaning up around the house and doing the boy’s laundry. You all had started to get things ready for the boys arrival. Things were already put together in their room, the bags were packed, Austin had just finished washing all their clothes, and you just needed to put the car seats in the car. You were standing at the sink. You back was really hurting and you stood there. Austin looked over and saw you had your hand on your lower back and were trying to stretch it out. He came over and grabbed a chair for you.

“Hey, Darlin. Why don’t you rest and take a seat? You’ve been on your feet too long lately.” He placed the chair behind you and rubbed your lower back. “Here, have a seat.” 

You sat for a while and he massaged your shoulders. You chuckled and shook your head as you relaxed, “Aus, you’re supposed to be taking care of Bradley, not me.” 

He laughed and placed a kiss on your head, “Darlin, I promised to always take care of you. I can take care of both of you.” 

You patted his hands and he stopped massaging your shoulders. “I need to go and clean up for the day. It’s already noon and I am still in my PJs.” 

Austin sighed and nodded, “I’ll help you out.” He helped you off the chair and wrapped his arm around your waist as you started to walk to the stairs. “You ready?” He raised his brows at you.

You nodded and sighed heavily. You held onto your belly, “Let’s freaking do this.” 

Right as you took the first step you felt water start to rush down your leg. Your eyes went wide and you froze. “Oh Shit.” 

Austin looked at you with wide eyes and looked at the puddle that was soaking both yours and his socks. “Darlin… Did you just pee?” He was looking around at the floor. 

“Austin…” You were in shock and stayed still.

“Hey. It’s okay. I’m sure there is a lot of weight on your bladder from the boys, accidents happen. I can get that cleaned up. Don’t worry, honey.” He started to removed himself from under your arm.

“Austin… Wait…” He stopped and looked at you. “I didn’t pee…”

He looked at you with wide eyes and put his hand over his mouth, “Holy shit!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BESTIES OMG. We are about to give birth to the twins! Finally! But besides that, I hope Dadley will be okay 🥺 The journey continues! I will see you all in the next one 🫣

My kids' godparents are in the comments 🫶🏼

[lanitalay]

Before I Say Goodnight

Chapter 7

a/n Hiiiii, new chapter yay. Last post I got a request for a tag list, let me know if you're interested in something like that! Also, I'm going to try to keep up the writing schedule I have now so you can expect new chapters every 2-3 days.

word count: 2.5k

Warnings: mentions of a knife and throw up

Other chapters

Hot, humid breath fans the back of your neck as someone or something holds you tight. You struggle against the restraint to no avail. Whatever is holding you has canines that nick and poke at the back of your head. You stiffen as you feel hot liquid rolling down your back, unsure if it's sweat or blood. You’re being pushed and dragged by this monster. It’s a familiar forest, a universe away. Claws press into your hips and you cry out as you feel them press through skin and scrape against bone. You wake mid gasp. Nightmare. That was just a nightmare. It had been a while since you thought of that forest. It was a trap. You had no proof but also no doubt. The lack of light seeping through the curtains let you know it is way too early to start your day. So you focus on breathing hoping sleep takes over soon. 

When you went to breakfast the next morning you were relieved to find the dining room empty. After last night you didn’t know how to interact with Azriel, having told him things that not even your closest friends from home know. So you eat in silence and try to forget about last night, the nightmare and the dread that threatened to spill over whenever you were undistracted for longer than fifteen minutes. 

When you walked into the library Gwyn approached you immediately “Y/n! I’m so glad you are back, yesterday we found something and waiting to tell you has been tortuous” blood drains from your face and you swear your heart stops for a few beats. “What do you mean?” She walks over to a table with at least twenty books sprawled across it. “There is this book that talks about opening portals with a series of symbols, they are extremely intricate and the portal working depends on making the symbols perfectly but it’s totally doable. Then in this book there is a description of different realms that have been accessed by these portals. So, in theory we would just need to figure out which symbols lead to your realm” she finishes and looks at you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on a face. “I… that’s incredible Gwyn, thank you”. You are terrified to get excited about the news. If it doesn’t work… But if it does then that means a way home. “Don’t thank us yet, we still have to figure out the combinations for your realm but I think it should be done by the end of the week”. Jesus, that’s soon. You spend the rest of the day in a daze, fetching books, picturing your life back home and coming up with explanations for your absence. 

By the time dinner rolls around you are starved. “Oh, hi” Azriel half smiles at you “hello, y/n”. You sit in your usual seat across from him, “I’m starving”, fill your plate and begin eating. “How was your day?” You pause your chewing and look at his eyes for the first time since last night “oh, it was alright” you take a sip of water “Gwyn told me that they found something on portals, I could be going home in a few days”. Telling Azriel you’re leaving was hard, goodbye suddenly on the horizon. He takes a few beats to reply “are you happy to be going back?” Right now, you are regretting everything you told him last night. You take a bite and nod. He continues, trying to fill the silence “I’m not surprised Gwyn found a solution so fast. She’s one of the most talented researchers in the library” you nod again. It was true, Gwyn was brilliant, but you didn't appreciate the jealousy that flashed through your chest. That’s something to unpack later. “How was your day?” He looks a little surprised by the question, having accepted that you weren’t in the mood for conversation “it was… productive. Training was good and I got word from one of the spies on the Continent”. You never know what to say when Azriel talks about his position as Spymaster, he didn’t offer details and you didn’t want to pry. You had a feeling that asking too many questions would make you seem suspicious and since you depend on the mercy of the Night Court for food and shelter you thought minding your business was the prudent thing to do. “I haven’t seen Mor in a while, what’s she up to?” His shoulders relax a bit “she’s in the Court of Nightmares for a few days”. Right. The Court of Dreams and Court of Nightmares dichotomy. “And Cassian?” you try to hide the little smirk that will give away your plan to annoy him. “He’s in Windhaven until tomorrow”. He’s so serious. “And Elain?” “Probably at the River House” “And Lucien?” “Somewhere in the human lands, maybe the Spring Court” “and Amren?” “I actually haven’t seen her since last week”. “What about Eris?” He stills. “How do you know Eris?”. His face hardened at the mention of the heir of Autumn. “He came to talk to Lucien at the Manor, I thought I had mentioned it” “you didn’t”. Pivoting, you ask “Nesta?” He runs his hand through his hair “uhm, tonight is girls night so she’s with Gwyn and Emerie getting drunk and gossiping”. That sounds fun. “You know, I meant what I said about teaching you how to use a knife. I could teach you a few self defense techniques before you go” your mind goes to the knife you’re still keeping in your boot “I’d really appreciate that, Azriel. I’m so tired of being easy prey, I wanna be able to put up a fight”. “Great, meet me here at dawn” he gets up “sleep well” and walks away. Dawn? 

You’re tired, but there's too much on your mind. So after dinner you find yourself  at the library where Nesta keeps all of her romances. “I swear Cassian steals my novels and uses the smut as inspiration” their three distinct laughters fill the room. You chuckle as Emerie goes to pour herself wine but Nesta snatches the bottle before and pours a glass for herself. “Do you mind if I crash your girls night?” the Valkyries look at you, not having noticed your presence and you hear an excited “eeek” as Gwyn tackles you. “Beautiful y/n of course you can join us! Here, have some wine” she hands you a glass that’s full to the brim and you take a few healthy sips “we were gossiping about the boys”. Nesta raises her eyebrows “y/n, be careful with that wine, it’s not meant for humans” you gulp. “Oh god, what’s gonna happen to me?” Nesta laughs “nothing, it’s just really strong. Anyway, he thinks I don't notice but last night he basically played out the bath scene from that novel we read last week” all of you giggle “lucky girl” Emerie teases. “What about you, y/n? Any good gossip to share with the group?” You sip the wine, already feeling light headed “not really”. Nesta’s eyes glitter with something you can’t quite place as she says “has anything happened with Azriel?” she wiggles her brows and you choke. Seeing her this playful is unusual and the idea about you and Azriel is so absurd “no, he’s just been a friend” “I’m sure he wants to be more than that…” you shake your head, sipping more wine. “Not even one kiss?” Emerie asks “not even a hug” she frowns “bummer”. You feel pressured to tell them something interesting so you say “you didn’t hear it from me, but I think there’s something going on with Vassa and Jurian”. The hours fly by between the wine, the stories and the speculating. It is almost dawn when you knock on Azriel’s door. 

“Y/n?” his sleep laced voice echoes in the hallway.  You hiccup “Azriel there is no way I can train with you”. “You joined girls night” he states “you spied on us?” He crosses his arms across his chest “it’s my job”. “You are just nosy,” he yawns, “can I help you with something?” “I’ve been keeping a secret,” you whisper. The dim hallway conceals the way his face pales at your confession “what do you mean?” You look around, double checking nobody else is here and step closer to him. He’s tall, much taller than you so you grab his shirt and he leans forward to meet you at eye level. He’s pale and stiff as a board as you move your face closer to his, until your lips are just about to touch his ears and in the softest voice he’s ever heard say “I think it was a trap”. He pulls away slightly to look at your face, maybe you’re messing with him. But the worry pouring from your eyes lets him know you are not joking. “I think whoever opened the portal used me to test it out”. He’s wide awake now and your eyes are droopy. “Why do you think that?” You yawn and rub your eyes. “I need to get to bed” he grabs your forearm and asks again “y/n, why do you think that?” Your eyes are basically closing themselves and you mumble “cause, there were no sounds and-” another yawn cuts you off. Azriel straightens up and leads you to your room, he’ll ask more questions tomorrow. He pulls the covers from your bed and you collapse on top of all the decorative pillows. Azriel places the covers over you and lets you sleep. 

You feel the pounding in your head before you even open your eyes. After a few minutes you open your eyes and close them again. A couple of more minutes you open them again. It takes a moment to build up the courage to move to a sitting position. Once you do, your gut flips and you bolt to the bathing room, emptying the contents of your stomach. Cold sweat coats your forehead and your back. You sigh, defeated. Slowly, you splash your face with cold water and return to your bed but stop when you see something on your bedside table.  A note, a smokey looking beverage, bread and butter. You pick up the note and admire the precise calligraphy “Drink this tonic for your hangover. The lesson has been moved to after lunch. Meet me on the terrace. Bring the knife. Azriel”. You don’t really remember your conversation from last night but you guess you were drunk enough that Azriel figured you would not be getting up for the lesson. You take a few bites of the bread and sip the concoction and gag at the foul taste. Then, you collapse on the bed, having a few more hours to sleep before your lesson.  

You feel much better when you wake up the second time, managing to tie your hair with a ribbon and putting on your old leggings, a fleece tunic and your boots. When you walk onto the terrace you shiver. The wind lets you know that Autumn has fully set in. “Good morning” the shadow singer greets with a teasing smirk. “Thank you for the provisions” you approach him, rubbing your arms for warmth “maybe we could have the lesson in an ice box, it would be less windy”. “You have to be prepared for the elements, y/n. Where’s the knife?” You pull it from your boot “right here” and wave it around, pretending to attack him. “So, the first thing to know is to not wave it around like that” he’s serious now. I hate when he gets all monotone. “Let’s start by seeing what you would do if you were immobilized”. Fast as lightning he lunges towards you and grabs you, pinning both arms to your sides. You shriek, not expecting that “Azriel this is ridiculous” he doesn’t let up “didn't Lucien drag you across an entire forest while you tried to get away?” You huff “that’s not fair, I would have gotten free but he knocked me against a tree”. “You were too slow, you have to learn to react on instinct. Now, try to get away” you swear he gripped you even tighter. You begin to thrash, trying to headbutt him, biting, scratching, pinching, screaming, but nothing works. Until you begin to kick your legs wildly and knee his groin. He groans and his hold on you falters for a second. You bring your hands to his chest and push him away while ducking. It’s messy but you get away. Until a calloused hand grabs your shoulder and your back meets his chest again only this time there's a blade pressed to your neck. “And then you’re dead” you roll your eyes “I think I did a great job” he lets you go and you immediately miss his warmth “I think we have a lot of work to do”. You stay on the terrace until nightfall and by the end of the lesson you are able to use the knife, more or less.  

You’re walking towards the dining room when Azriel asks “do you remember what you told me last night?” Oh god what did I say? “No, things got hazy half way through Gwyn’s story about some ribbon cutting ceremony… or something to that effect”. He stops walking and lowers his voice “you told me you think the portal was a trap, is that true?” Your throat goes dry and you nod. “I’m sorry I woke you up for that, it’s just a thought I had” he insists “why?” You let out a breath and explain your reasoning. The dead air, the lack of life around the circle, the mist that caged you in and the feeling of being watched. He nods, taking all of it in. You feel embarrassed. He probably thinks I’m crazy. “I’ll contact my spies to see if they’ve seen anything recently” you appreciate it, you really do but you can’t go down this spiral again “can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m starving”. You reach the dining room and are greeted by the smell of food and Nesta and Cassians conversation. “Y/n! Glad to see you on two feet, Nesta was worried you died after last night” you roll your eyes and sit down. “How did you feel today?” Nesta asked “I threw up when I woke up but Azriel left me a drink that helped with the hangover” you pretend you don’t notice Nesta’s raised brows. 

The following morning you return to the library and see Gwyn writing notes in a notebook. “Hi Gwyn”. “Oh, hi y/n.” she doesn’t look up “I’m copying the symbols we think might lead to your realm. If you’d like we can try it out right now, we just need to find an open space and some paint”  A few minutes later she finishes and frowns when she sees your expression “what’s wrong?” “Do you think this could actually work?” She looks unsure “maybe”.

[champangekisses]

Afterglow | R.C. & J.M.

Part One

Word Count: 5.4k

Warnings: swearing, banter, arguing, anger, suggestive, flirting

Summary: Reader’s first day back in the OBX after a year away is one to remember.

A/n: Part one to my first fic. I’m as excited as I am nervous to post this, I hope you enjoy!

All I could hear was the shouting, the constant rustle in the trees, the dogs barking uncontrollably. The flashlights shone through the trees and bushes as the sheriff and fellow deputies tried to desperately catch up to us. The fear set in, the rush of adrenaline still persistent in my body. I started to go numb as the limbs of the trees and bushes consistently smacked me all over. Then finally it happened, right before my eyes—my greatest fear became my living nightmare.

One Month Earlier

“Y/n! Make sure you pack yourself something nice to wear, remember no white!” My mom yelled up to remind me for the one hundredth time from the base of the stairs. I left the OBX a year ago, moved out to the middle of nowhere with my mom and her new husband and started a completely new life with them. Today, I finally get to go home, but unfortunately only for a week.

The Thornton’s eldest daughter is getting married off to some kid who graduated from law school, nothing special other than the groom comes from a wealthy family, and that's all that really matters out there. Keeping the rich - rich. My mom was always obsessed with the idea of me having a lifestyle almost identical to hers but I never was one for the shinier things in life, I just wanted to smoke pot and surf.

I had a plan though, she had always promised me that we would return off of one condition. “You will never see those worthless kids ever again.” Her words replayed in my head like the unmistakable tune of the piano keys I kept tapping ever so faintly as I waited by her bedroom entry, only to retain her opinion of the attire I had picked for the dreadful day to come.

“Y/n? Do you need something?” I quickly zoned back in, collecting all of the vindictive thoughts and stuffing them in a folder labeled drafts. I turned quickly to face her, she was in the middle of packing almost every nonessential item in her bathroom.

I gradually made my way to her bedside, settling down while staring at the ardent red dress in the palm of my hands. “What do you think about this one?” I spoke excitedly, masking the deceitful thoughts I was creating effortlessly in my head.

“I love it! The red dress has always been my favorite.” Her eyes glimmered at the thought of seeing me finally fit in with the kooks or as my step dad would say, the well educated kids. I gave a gentle smile to her before proceeding back through her reimposed bedroom doorway, gliding my fingers ever so delicately over the keys of the piano once more before continuing back up the staircase.

The trip there was awful and boring, outside of the plane windows you saw nothing but the many shades of green, luckily we were there within the matter of a couple hours. We took the latest flight that ultimately landed us at Charleston around eight in the evening. Exhaustedly as I am, I took it into my best interest to sleep during the next three and a half hours of our drive to the Outer Banks.

My body started lightly being pulled in one direction, then the other with every winding turn the old road took. With my eyes closed and slowly waking up, I started imagining the scenery of the old famous hang out at John B's. It was like dreaming in slow motion, watching as the sun kissed the water while we overcame the dying urge for a good time with uncontrollable laughter. Before my imagination concluded the car slowed, turning unhurriedly through massive gates that sat imperishable at the end of the elongated driveway.

Pulling up to the front doors of the old Tanneyhill Estate, I glanced into a dining room window staring at the distinctive profile of well-known Rafe Cameron. Our arrival made the inevitable distraction from the conversation at the dinner table which caused him to turn, concentrating on the moving vehicle on the other side of the very same window. The car stopped and I regained focus, grabbing my hand bag from the floorboard of the SUV before undoing my seatbelt.

Glancing down at my phone to check the time, I rested my hand on the door handle. Before I could put the energy into finally pulling it towards me, Ward swiftly swings the car door open—smiling almost as if he has never seen such a wonderful sight in his life. While demanding he help my stepdad with an argumentative tone, he reaches out for my hand and mildly holds it to help me out of the car.

I mumble a soft thanks before glancing to the front doors, locking eyes with the golden boy. Meanwhile behind me, Ward was continuing to the next car door, assisting with any need my parents had. Rafe never broke eye contact, even when he shifted his posture to lean against the framework, crossing his ankles while his hands stayed in his pockets. His smirk turned into a devilish grin that wreaked nothing but chaos. He sent chills that vibrated my bones, and even once received was not sufficient enough for the goosebumps coming to life on my neck.

I stared at the walkway in front of me, with each step the pit in my stomach grew. I could feel his eyes on me like the force of rain during a downpour. The closer we were, the weight of his stare grew even more burdensome. I felt so compliant around him, so timid. I finally reached the top of the stairs, I swung my arm out to grab the handle but Rafe had already beaten me to it. My hand gently landed on his, my anxiety quickly rising as I ripped mine back to me. His daunting smile let out a faint chuckle that only I could hear.

“If I don't get the door for you, I'm sure I'll hear about it later from my dad.” His tone was so taunting, as if he wanted me to react. I continued through the entry room, following the long narrow hallway to the backside of the home. Sarah was sitting on the love seat that was shared by her younger sister Wheezy. She wasted no time swiftly moving her head to look at the shadowed figure stepping into the light of her living room. Sarah immediately shot up, pushing everything from her lap directly on top of her sister. I prepared my body for the impact of Sarah’s as she pulled me in. We stayed continuously hugging for what felt like forever—neither of us comprehending quite yet that we were in reality. Ward hurried with the luggage, trying to push us in and assign us our rooms. We wasted no time getting ready for bed, I was anxious for what my tomorrow would bring.

I ended up sleeping in for far too long though, waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs way past the time I should be. Shooting myself up off the floor, I scurried into the bathroom across the hall. I shut the door quickly and immediately started the shower water. The only problem was that I forgot the clothes I needed to change into, so I wrapped a towel around me as my hair stayed drenched. Cracking the door open, I checked the hallway making sure nobody was able to witness the embarrassment I was about to endure. I darted across the hall, running through the entry of the bedroom I assumed was mine. I slammed the door a little too hard before turning around to look for my nonexistent clothes on the floor. Rafe, laying down on his bed, props himself up using his forearm and elbow.

“Since when did we share a room?” I jump by the sudden question asked towards me, not prepared to potentially be interrogated. I almost lose my towel in the process while Rafe begins to chuckle at my distress.

“Excuse me?” I questioned as I felt my face starting to warm as his stare intensed.

“You’re excused.” He replied with a smirk as his tone quickly became playful, I started to become flustered before popping off on him.

“You disrespectful brat! All of our interactions have ended with me being uncomfortable. You couldn’t even open the door for me out of courtesy when we first arrived! Now I'm here, sitting in a towel and you won’t even get up and help save me from this embarrassment! You’re such a jackass.” My voice started to raise as the fire within me started to spread.

Rafe shot up out of the bed as if he was being demanded to by a drill sergeant. His mood switched, intimidating was an understatement. He approached me with the same devilish smile he once had just last night, his hand reached out to hold my jaw—gentle yet firm. My breathing stopped, I couldn’t even say a word to him. Rafe brought his mouth to my ear, the closer he got the more submissive I became.

“Do you really want me to leave?” His voice made my skin crawl, my heart started pounding and my breathing came back but in manual.

“Get off of me, you mutt.” I smacked his hand away from my face which caused him to laugh before his tone shifted once again and he turned away from me.

“Get out.” He demanded. I felt even more embarrassed, I glanced at my feet noticing that I still wasn't dressed yet and it was going on late morning. I started to make my way to the door as Rafe seated himself on his bedside, I grabbed the handle and swung open his door. Walking out as if I meant to, I attempted to keep my confidence. I knew all too well that he watched me leave, my mom’s words played in my head as I proceeded down the hall once more. A dog will always remain a dog.

I finished getting dressed before making my way to the kitchen, my mom already had a cup of coffee waiting for me.

“What happened to you? I heard you get out of the shower and then it took you quite some time to get ready.” My face began to burn, Rafe’s words replicating a broken record in my head. My eyes wide open looking down at my feet with the mug full of coffee to my mouth, I sipped at it before placing it back down onto the island where she was sitting.

“I had some trouble with putting my outfit together.” I replied, hoping that was enough to get her off of my back. I couldn’t exactly tell her what happened or she would take it as a connection and mentally start wedding planning.

“Y/n! Come over here!” Sarah yelled from the back patio. My mom shaking her head in approval, I went on my way from the previous conversation and walked into an even more enlightened one. Sarah approached me with a growing smile while pulling what looked to be Topper away from Rafe whom he was actively having a conversation with. Rafe from afar glanced over at them approaching me before sitting down on patio furniture and gluing his face to his phone.

“Y/n, I wanted you to be reintroduced to my now boyfriend, Topper.” Sarah announced as I smiled, knowing that eventually they would connect. Topper has always had something special for Sarah, it was only a matter of time before she noticed.

I stepped aside from the conversation, staring off into the distance, watching the waves ever so lightly wash against the dock and the sailboats glide effortlessly against the water. I missed this, but I missed my friends more than anything. I stood there, with my mug in my hand and the coffee sitting dormant inside soon growing cold. Dreaming of the moment I see them, the Pogues.

Then, as my imagination settled, a figure started walking towards the house from the dock. Taking all of my attention away from my long forgotten wishes, they looked worn from a long day's work. When they grew closer to the back patio we shot each other a curious glance, our eyes locked which then became intense within seconds. I lost my grip, everything going numb before the mug shattered beneath me.

John B.

My lifelong best friend, walking through the yard of my now greatest enemy. Not one soul wasted time to come to my side, except for Rafe. He kept a glare on John B. as he continued down the pathway, you could see in his dark malevolent eyes that he was not welcomed here by him. Meanwhile, Ward ran to us from around the house while my mom and Rose came from the back doors.

“Y/n are you okay!? What happened!?” My mom grabbed my wrists and pulled me to her for a reply.

“N-nothing mom, I'm fine. Please.” I pushed away from her, running inside as Ward cleaned the pieces of porcelain. I went straight to the bathroom, not even sparing a moment to close the door. I turned on the cold water from the sink, staring motionless at the unrecognizable girl in the mirror while my eyes started to burn as the tears formed. I cupped the freezing water before bending over to splash it on my face, hiding any evidence of my emotion.

“I can’t believe I'm asking this but, are you okay?” With both hands gripping the bathroom counter I turned my head sharply to the door, Rafe stared at me with one eyebrow slightly raised while keeping one hand on the doorframe for support as he stood. I gave an angry chuckle before I collected myself.

“Yes, I'm fine. You can go now.” I seethed, Rafe rolled his eyes before making his way back down the hallway, mumbling the entire time before he stepped outside and back to tending to his dad’s needs. I wouldn’t go back outside, solely to prevent myself from becoming even more embarrassed by the scene I left behind. I went into the kitchen, watching my mom and Rose laugh over something that I had absolutely no interest in hearing about. Rose kindly handed me a glass of water before asking if I was okay. I felt myself turn pink, before I could even thank her and reassure her Sarah ran in from outside.

“Y/n! If you’re up for it, Topper wants to take us out for a ride in his new boat?” I turned to my mom waiting for her approval before running away from this nightmare. She sent me a soft smile before returning to her gossip session. I followed Sarah back out to the patio, ignoring the urge to apologize a hundred times for the mess I had created.

The boat wasn’t much to brag about, I don’t even remember the name of it honestly. I did enjoy the scenery though, and being able to let the water hug my fingers as we cruised back toward the dock. As we pulled up to tie off Rafe just couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer

“So Y/n, why did you freak out like that back there at the house?” He questioned with an upward curve forming at the corner of his mouth. It made Sarah and Topper turn their heads to give me their full attention, and I couldn’t help but to glare at Rafe. This made him smile, his sunglasses hiding his eyes that had probably nothing but pure enthusiasm as he taunted me.

“So Rafe, why did you come check on me when I ran inside?” I teased, his smile soon fading while Sarah and Topper turned their heads back forward, hiding the smiles they held from the total humiliation they had just witnessed. Rafe had nothing to say but I felt accomplished knowing I officially put the pretty boy in his place, reminding him that two can play his game.

Once Topper tied the boat off we all hopped out. Rafe was of course the first one while I was last, which I didn’t mind because I wouldn’t want the help out. We all walked back to the house together until I realized I had forgotten my sandals, I turned around not even sparing a second to tell anybody. I hopped back into the boat and within seconds had found them, once I stepped out a familiar voice chimed in my ears.

“Hey there, stranger.”

My heart skipped a beat as I instinctively turned my head to look on the second level of the yacht that sat beside me. We made eye contact before I cracked a smile.

“I'll be damned; John B. Routledge.” I replied, he already had a glowing smile on his face, the same one as when we first met in school.

“Why don’t you come down here so we can be on the same level?” I tried to convince him, but luckily for me he had the same idea. John B hurried down, grabbing onto the side of the boat for him to throw himself over. While running to me to trap me in a hug, the strongest one I've been in so far. He pulled away from me but not letting go just yet.

“Y/n, you have to come to the bonfire tomorrow night. Everybody will be there and I know Kie, Pope and JJ would love to see you.” He encouraged me as I froze, not knowing how to explain that my parents absolutely despised him and the Pogues.

“I’m sure we will see each other. I know Topper and Sarah have been talking about going while we were out today.” I replied warily. John B had a concerned look on his face that had a splash of frustration before popping the one question I wished he hadn’t.

“So, you’re hanging out with the Kooks now?” I pushed him away from me.

“It's not as easy as you think it is to go back to how I once was; I have strict rules to follow and if I want to stay here for as long as I intend to do so, I have to play along.” I retorted as he stared at me wide-eyed. I knew he was confused and probably a little hurt by my reaction but that was the easiest way to tell him. I was suffocating myself staying in that home but I had another six days to try to prove to my parents that we should come back.

“I’m sorry John B., but my parents told me the only way I could come back is if I stay away from you. But -” I bit my lip, staring off into the horizon as the sun started to trinkle its way down to the water. John B grew impatient while I questioned myself to tell him my plan.

“But what Y/n?” He whined, making me snap out of my trance.

“But—if they just think I am a Kook, then they should get convinced quickly. Making it easier to hang out with you, since you know…they won’t be keeping a close eye on me.” John B sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand as he kept a stare down at the boards of the dock.

“I mean, I don’t think we have any other choice.” He replied looking back up to me, a soft smile formed once more on his face.

“Look at it this way; we finally got the Pogues back.” I smiled in response, it felt refreshing talking to John B. His voice reminded me of the soft waves as they caress the sand on the shore, the crackle of a fire that's burning at night to devour the darkness around you.

“I will see you tomorrow John.'' I smiled as I turned away from him.

“Don’t keep me waiting Y/L/N.” he replied as I started my way back to the house, blushing with a smile as I continued down the dock.

John B. was my best friend. I would be lying if I said he wasn't cute, but my eyes were on somebody else—precisely from a year ago. I stepped in through the doors that welcomed me back into the kitchen. Ward had taken Rose and my parents out for a nice dinner on the water for a warm welcome home. Sarah, Topper and Wheezy got dressed in time for the remaining two hours to be filled with laughter in the pool out back. I rounded the corner into the hallway before I was stopped by none other than Rafe, he was leaning against the wall with a look of disappointment growing on his face.

“So what was that all about?” He questioned, I stood there making awkward eye contact. Was he watching me?

“Hello?” Rafe poked once more, I furrowed my eyebrows before sending him an attitude.

“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” I pushed myself past him as he turned to watch me leave.

“It could be mine or it could be your parents’.” He barked back to me. I stopped walking as he slowly progressed towards me. I stood in fear of what my parents would do if they ever knew. I could feel his presence behind me, the goosebumps rising on my back and arms like a mountain range protruding through my skin. I turned around, finally gaining the courage to face him.

“Excuse me?” The anger spilling through my teeth.

“You heard me.” Rafe shot back at me, as if he planned out exactly what I would say to him. He lived for this, the mess he creates in my head and the endless ways he taunts me just to get me to react. He was a soulless, mediocre bastard of a person. The devil was such an understatement at this point, I only wanted to hit him but I wouldn't hear the end of it from my parents.

“Leave them at the cut, Y/n. You’re on figure eight now. You need to start acting like it.” I scoffed at him before ditching the conversation by walking away and into the guest bedroom I was staying in. Rafe followed, but stayed at the door.

“Don’t think that I don’t know how bad you want to come home, if I was you I would hang with us.” He suggested, I sit on the bedside before looking over to Rafe, one eyebrow raised before laughing at him.

“You really think I want to be friends with you? Sarah is the only kook I actually enjoy being around, but you? You are a plague that walks the earth, you only want to cause harm and enjoy watching as everything falls apart. I would never want to be associated with you, ever.” I felt my rage start to rummage through me as Rafe rolled his eyes before shutting the door, mumbling some more as he made his way back down the hallway towards the kitchen.

I put myself to bed, anxious that Rafe now has something to control me with, but how did he know that I wanted to come home? I’ve only told Sarah, and I know she wouldn’t ever tell Rafe anything, so was he eavesdropping? I brushed it off ultimately, it doesn’t matter how he found out. What matters now is that he knows.

After my cup of coffee with my mom the next morning, I wasn’t too excited to be having to go to the bonfire with the Kooks, but I don’t really have a choice right now. I tagged along with Sarah for the afternoon while Topper and Rafe did. I don’t know, Topper and Rafe things?

“So Y/n, what made you change your mind about the bonfire? When Topper and I brought it up, you seemed super uninterested.” Sarah didn’t hold back her question as she was incredibly suspicious. It caught me off guard so I took a minute to think about my response.

“Honestly, I just needed to get out and enjoy myself since I'm not promised more than this week.” I lied while the pit in my stomach grew. What if I don't stay? What if I go back? I couldn’t stand the thought of it, but I had to prepare myself for the worst. Sarah didn’t seem too convinced with my answer, giving me a raised eyebrow with a smirk following really gave it away.

“Okay, well we need outfits for tonight. Almost everybody in the OBX will be there, sometimes school aged visitors show up too if they’re looking to get away from their family.” Sarah continued on about the bonfire, while I searched through the never ending clothes racks. We finally finished our shopping spree and made it back in enough time to get ready for the fire. I was a tad anxious not knowing if I looked good in what I picked. Honestly though, every woman out here has the same fashion sense unless you're a visitor. As Sarah was finishing up I gradually made my way to the kitchen, lazily pouring myself a glass of water before becoming interrupted with an unwanted guest. Leaning against the counter’s edge closest to me, Rafe rested his chin in the palm of one of his hands while sneakily trying to reach under the cabinet for his father’s whiskey with the other.

“Can I help you?” I mucked up the courage to speak while avoiding any eye contact, back facing the glare I knew he was giving me.

“Your shorts, pull them down some.” He spoke as if he was agitated, I immediately felt the rage take over my body once more as if I was becoming a wildfire that couldn’t be put out.

“How dare you comment on my shorts! You don't own me nor my body nor my mind, and I will never and I mean absolutely never do a single thing you tell me to do!” I screamed at Rafe in a tone as if I was scolding a troubled teen, but he wasted no time to crack a smile before chuckling a bit, switching positions so his back can rest on the wall behind him and tucking his hands back into his front pockets before closing his eyes and pulling his head down towards the floor beneath him.

“I never said to take them off, but when your shorts are riding so high that it looks as if your ass is suffocating it just looks…I don't know, it's funny.” He replied with a soft attitude, the embarrassment raced across my face as if it was in a marathon going for first place. Swiftly yet unsuspiciously, I grabbed the bottom of one side of my shorts as I tightened the grip I had on the glass with my other, tugging the god forsaken things down as much as I could. Rafe had a steady grin while keeping his eyes closed, knowing only too well what I was doing. I gulped down the cold water before flipping the glass upside down in the kitchen sink, then without a second thought started my way back to Sarah’s room. Leaving Rafe with his new found bottle of whiskey, and the satisfied smirk he continued to hold onto that only made the night jealous with how dark its intentions were.

I quickly stepped into Sarah’s room, shutting the door with my back before elegantly sliding down until my bottom touched the freshly installed carpet. I shut my eyes before exhaling the breath I held in for what felt like eternity.

God, I hate him.

My mind was full of anger while my body said otherwise, I couldn’t ignore the fact I desired him. Everything he does, he knows it’s working as if he needs me to want him. As if he wants me to need him.

“How does this look?” Sarah’s voice intruded my thoughts. Luckily, she didn’t seem concerned for my growing silence moments after following the slight blush spreading across my cheeks.

“I think you look great. Are you finally ready?” I quickly spoke, before jumping to my feet with a mask of excitement that only hid pure anxiety. We made our way down the spiral staircase, following Sarah’s lead as we made it to the last step. My fingers effortlessly slid down the white handrail as every imperfection of the wood protruded from the thick sealant, so well that I was forced to acknowledge the splinter left behind from it. I winced at the pain as Sarah bolted to Topper, jumping into a hug which resulted in the air being filled with laughter.

I realized a little too late that I should’ve brought a jacket to the bonfire. The ocean left little kisses on my cheeks as the breeze picked up, which carried the slightest bit of mist from the crashing waves in the distance.

“Y/n?” Topper spoke out softly, my concentration returning to him as I snapped out of the trance that the water had on me.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” I asked, ignoring the worrisome look on his face as he continued.

“Why exactly do you wear that ring all the time? You’re not like, engaged are you?” You shared a quick chuckle with the blond as you mindlessly played with the tiny band with your thumb, examining the delicate piece of silver that carried a microscopic engraved heart. Your mother requested it to be on there, she said it would add character or something like that.

“Oh, this little thing? It’s a purity ring, gifted to me by my parents for my birthday last year.” I answered, glancing back up to Topper who was taking another swig of his beer before lowering the bottle with a soft sigh and pink cheeks.

“Oh, interesting. Uh, do you see Sarah anywhere? She said she was grabbing herself another drink but she never came back.” He asked as the air thickened with tension, his eyes frantically scanning the faces of the individuals in front of us.

“I just want to make sure she’s o…” I turned to face him, curious yet concerned about what had made him lose his train of thought. His eyes darkened while his knuckles turned white from gripping the now empty bottle in his hand, I couldn’t get a word out before he made his way forcefully through the hoard of people in between us and his target.

I scan the crowd ahead of him before my eyes land on Sarah talking to John B. My heart started racing as I prepared myself for the conflict about to happen. Looking at my surroundings frantically, I feel a hand snake around my waist.

“Now, how has the Kook life been treating you?” A familiar voice spoke out while leaning towards my ear, the music so loud it was almost impossible to think.

My heart fluttered as every butterfly made its way to my stomach as I turned to face him, JJ’s smile matching mine as we sat in silence for what felt like eternity. I would leave this Kook life within a blink of an eye if it meant I could stay here in this moment with him forever, and surely by the looks of it, he felt the same. I glanced down at my beer, a soft pink grew on my cheeks but luckily the dim light of the fire hid my embarrassment quite extensively.

“Terrible.” I whispered, looking back into his eyes with only inches of separation between us. His breath reeked of bourbon and cigarettes while his eyes searched mine, as if trying to find the life they once emitted. Sadness soon filled the space between us as the memories washed over him and I. We stood in complete silence as if we were waiting for the other to speak, sharing the suffocating tension we had created. I stepped towards him, never breaking the gaze we held as I wrapped one arm around his neck and closed the space between us with a hug.

“I just want to come home J.” I whimpered in his ear while trying my best not to shed a tear, especially not at a party full of Kooks.

“Then come home, baby.” JJ hummed before hugging me tightly. Before I could process what I had just done, a scream echoed through the area and I remembered.

Topper.