#next up is. trying to figure out how the fuck im gonna do the paradox suicune

[spamton-addison]

thank you triad the iron jugulis for being so helpful in defeating the paradox virizion you the real one fr

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==>  (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there.  Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot.  >:|

Oh SHIT wait.  That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever???  That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here.  D:

Rose, puns.  Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls?  Huh.  Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait.  Numerological significance?  Are we actually learning what 413 means?  Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead?  I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch.  So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh.  She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore.  A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of.  As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches.  Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute.  Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet.  What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something.  Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics.  Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain?  Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose?  Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation??  Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess???  I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it.  I’ll understand it in later pages.  I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section.  Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance.  Oh shit.  Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering?  Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something???  Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh.  Is this really going to work?  As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale?  It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far.  I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out?  Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool.  Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it.  That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff.  Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff.  This is going to be a bit interesting.  And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot.  Yay Jade!  --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone.  AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her???  That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually.  Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it.  That’s nonbinary-awesome!  And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow.  Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her.  That, or, like...  Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful.  Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst.  Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan.  Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others.  That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp.  Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp.  Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS.  I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD.  I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe.  Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat.  Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting.  Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab.  He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election???  Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous!  Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too.  :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far?  Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much.  Is it just because it has the word wife in it.  Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff.  Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff.  Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too.  :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh.  What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk?  Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor.  And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her??????  D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting.  I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually.  Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in?  (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it.  And here she is or whatever.  :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS  >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait.  Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff?  What the fuck is going on.  It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter.  I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now?  Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here?  I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator.  Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story.  With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever.  Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story.  Or something.  Hmm.

Also, huh.  Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy.  A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself.  Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you?  Because you’ll be everyone?  Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister.  Just partially.  Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah.  So the candy part IS written.  I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here.  Pretty awesome.  I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous.  Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you.  That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or?  Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit.  Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

[langxue]

Avengers Endgame Initial Thoughts

Okay. I have some Thoughts about Endgame, most of them fairly critical. Also highly subjective. So here goes. Spoilers abound, for Endgame and other MCU content.

1. OMFG they completely wasted Captain Marvel.* In her own movie, Carol is a fairly laid back, adaptable, competent, and Silly person. She has a wonderfully casual charm and sarcasm that’s really fun to watch. She’s also a powerhouse, and by the end she definitely knows it. (Like seriously, she destroyed multiple of Ronan’s ships in under a minute. In GotG, it took a whole fleet just to slow one of them down, plus a team on the inside to blow it up. And then Carol’s just like “nah, you’re done now.”) And then you hit Endgame. And we have a stoic, closed off Captain Marvel, who shows up, talks a lot about how awesome she is, and then spends fucking 80% of the movie on a shelf on the justification that she’s helping other worlds that are also in trouble. Which is a fine justification to keep her away for some of the setup. But the heroes’ main plan is time travel. Which means it’s not time sensitive, and they keep making a big deal about only having one shot. Why, in that case, wouldn’t you wait until you could get Carol on your team?? Thor is a psychological mess. Keep him on the bench and bring in Carol. OR have her on hand to use the gauntlet after all the stones are collected. But no, they just went with “eh, we’re not sure how to contact her, so we’ll just skip over that option entirely.” So they wasted her character as a character with minimal interactions with the others, and zero of those interactions actually being in character (except maaaybe with Peter at the end, but that very much felt like two actors trying very hard with very little to work with), and then also wasted her as far as plot impact, opting for a heroic re-entrance most of the way through the movie.

2. The time travel felt extremely poorly explained, which is really bad when your plot completely hinges on it, and is especially bad if you’re gonna rag on other movies with time travel. Back to the Future is paradoxical nonsense, but it’s self-consistent paradoxical nonsense. Endgame was some kind of multiverse with zero clear understanding of how different timelines/realities could and could not interact with each other. I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of the possibilities and whether there actually is an internal logic, but at the very least, while watching the movie, it entirely felt like they were doing whatever they wanted to suit the plot. Which is a bad sign when dealing with time travel. (My general approach to time travel is that you either have to completely handwave it or completely explain it. And that explanation doesn’t have to be an info dump! It can just be apparent in the story itself, such as with Time-Turners. Though I personally don’t mind time travel info dump tbh.)

3. Relatedly, the secret to time travel is to model an inverted Möbius strip and get the eigenvector of that one particle there. I don’t think I’ve been that annoyed but technobabble in a long time. That’s math word salad, as far as I can tell (though I’m admittedly not a mathematician. If any mathematicians can clarify how this makes any sense, I’d appreciate it, but in the mean time, I’m going to assume it’s garbled nonsense.)

4. Still on time travel but I’m having one hell of a time figuring out Steve’s ending. Like, how can he do that within the confines of the time travel mechanics? Why wouldn’t he come back and spend that time with Bucky?? Since, you know, they’ve like barely spoken being reunited?? For Pete’s sake, don’t set up their bond like that, spend two full movies on the turmoil cause by Bucky’s return, and then just fucking drop the plot line on the floor because you wanted to stick Steve back with Peggy. What in the fuck.

5. IM. SO. MAD. ABOUT. GAMORA. (And also Natasha, though that’s a slightly different anger.) GAMORA’S DEATH WAS THE MOST BS THING IN INFINITY WAR AND WAS ALSO THE DEATH I WAS MOST CONCERNED THEY WOULDN’T CORRECT. AND GUESS WHAT. THEY DIDN’T. SHE’S STILL DEAD.** The soulstone mechanic can get Fucked, because Thanos should never have been able to get it like that (and relatedly, should Hawkeye have gotten it, since Natasha threw herself, rather than being sacrificed? I’m undecided, but mad either way).

6. Is Loki still dead? Was he ever dead? We just don’t know. If he is dead, that was an amazingly dumb end and I object. If he’s not dead, that is a dumb cliffhanger and I object.

7. I don’t love Thor + Guardians’ dynamic? It feels very off, and I can’t tell if that’s just because it’s Avengers and therefore all the characters have gotten slightly flattened or if it’s just an unappealing dynamic to me. But we already had Quill vs Rocket leadership tension. I don’t was more of that but with Thor. That’s dumb. I’m hoping that it gets more nuance/resolution going forward, but I’m not holding my breath.

8. Relatedly, why would you put Valkyrie in charge of Anything but a battle plan? Nothing I’ve seen of her makes me think she’s well suited to general leadership, and I think she’d chafe under it just as much as Thor does. She’s not the Responsible One to take things over so Thor can go have another finding himself adventure. Ffs.

9. Probably no one’s fault because actor contracts are complicated, but I’m still salty about Lady Sif being 100% absent and unacknowledged for this whole thing. Largely because I haven’t gotten to see her interact with Valkyrie OR Carol and I feel cheated.

10. Some quick minor things before I go on a big rant. It bothered me that Thor’s depression and poor coping was just a joke, basically just “Oh look he’s fat and scared now, isn’t that funny?” I’m so tired of Tony vs. Steve, and I hate that they waited until the last fucking movie to sort of kind of resolve it. You don’t get to pull on found family heartstrings and tropes when you’ve done such a bullshit job of actually showing us a family. You’ve had 20-odd movies to do so. Do better.

11. Okay. I like battle scenes. They’re fun! They’re dramatic! If done correctly, they can give a very tangible sense of odds and stakes. But. Not every movie with high stakes needs a big final battle.

Okay, to clarify a bit, I’m specifically referring to army vs. army battle scenes here. Big punch outs between titans, or scrambling to minimize damage from a disaster are different, and have their own applications and pitfalls. All clear? Great.

Battles, with two armies facing off against each other in fronts, look cool, but fundamentally make no sense in the context of Endgame. Battle lines exist so that you have not very many people actively fighting at once, and so that you can protect the people next to them. When the frontline gets tired, they rotate back and others take over. Battles are not the same thing as skirmishes and they are not mass melees. If a battle turns into a mass melee, something has gone very wrong and you should in all likelihood pull back immediately to regroup.

All of this breaks down when you have an opponent who can break up or ignore your battle lines. Historically, this was artillery and guns—things that forced battles into a cover-based issue. In superhero movies, it’s... pretty much every character of note.

Thor’s lightning —> broken battle line

Black Panther’s suit discharge —> broken battle line

Falcon attacking from above —> pointless battle line

Wanda or Carol doing... anything —> pointless battle line

All of Thanos’ many flying troops —> pointless battle line

Thanos’ warship overhead —> what are you doing pls stop this

All of which is to say that traditional battle tactics don’t apply to this conflict. But the battle we’re shown doesn’t reflect that, and it feels very... weird as a result. Where who’s winning is entirely arbitrary, rather than any kind of steady build.

This tends to lead to a very episodic battle, where you show off individual characters or small groups of characters fighting. Which is fine, though contributes to battle progress being unclear. But there’s a temptation then to give everyone equal levels of badassery in their vignettes, and I think that’s a mistake. The avengers et all are a complementary group. They have members suited to a battle field and members that aren’t. That isn’t to say that Hawkeye and Black Widow can’t hold their own, but their skill sets aren’t specialized for something like this, and so any attempt to make them seem equal in this way is going to either fall flat or cheapen the battle suited heroes’ specialty.

And this tendency to level the field of badassery can also lead to situations where Okoye is backing up Carol for a charge, and I just.... gah. I love Okoye. So much. Carol does not need her help to rush a group of enemies. Carol doesn’t need help from any of the women who showed up behind her except for maybe Scarlet Witch. I get what they were going for. I get that it was supposed to be a Girl PowerTM moment. It wasn’t. It was dumb. It was so very much the wrong time for that moment, because this was not a context where Carol needed help. She just flew through a spaceship. She can fly through some enemies no problem. And it’s probably easier if she’s not worried about her allies getting caught in the blast. And then they had to make the backup team useful, so they made Carol struggle in a moment where she just shouldn’t have. You don’t get points for Girl PowerTM if you have to de-power one of your women just to make it make sense. Give me more scenes with Gamora and Nebula helping each other through Thanos’ abuse. Give me scenes with Carol and Okoye bonding over putting up with impractical people. Don’t give me this battle scene bullshit, I don’t want it.

11. I remain pissed off that there are no actually articulated arguments against Thanos’ fucking stupid plan. What the actual fuck, this is not that hard. 

Okay. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, some things I actually really liked.

1. Steve wielding Mjolnir was fucking amazing and I’m so pleased.

2. Any time Scott was on screen.

3. Peter Parker is a precious child and he needs to be protected.

4. I actually really like the set up for the time travel nonsense, and I liked that they seemed to be doing something other than a mass melee battle. That the group was divided into manageable teams, and sent on different kinds of missions that required them to be clever and play to their different strengths and help each other through. And then they shoved in a giant battle anyway, because fuck you that’s why.

5. I can appreciate what they were trying to do in giving all of the non-returning Avengers decent send-offs, even if I didn’t like some of those conclusions.

6. There were some genuinely funny moments, but I’m struggling to recall them right now.

7. Oh wait! “It’s an earthquake in the middle of the ocean. We handle it by not handling it.” That one was great.

Okay, that’s all for now. I might have more later, once I’ve picked apart the time travel a bit more and dined some processing.

I think it’s also worth noting that like... ensemble movies with a cast this big are *hard.* character are going to end up feeling confined, and there’s less time to grow because there’s just less time per character. But I think we could’ve had better, and I think if they focused more on group growth in the group movies instead of just drama, then they would’ve been in a better place and had a better story.

It’s probably also worth noting that I really liked Thor: Ragnarok, really like Captain Marvel and really didn’t like Infinity War. So I sort of went into Endgame feeling like it had to make up for Infinity War and live up to the higher at from the recent solo movies. And I really wanted to like it. I really wanted them to pull it off. But those are high and fairly specific standards, and so they fell quite short.

*This should be taken with a grain of salt, because I’d been dreading Endgame as an obligation to watch, and the Captain Marvel movie was the only thing that sparked my interest again. And then Endgame massively dropped the ball as far as I’m concerned.

** there was some stuff at the very end that makes me wonder if there’re plans to still bring her back in a later movie. But it doesn’t change me call bullshit on everything that Infinity War/Endgame has done to her.

[patchdotexe]

Fix-it Leo: Katie / KG

welcome to something im tenatively calling “fix-it leo”, where i take my really old OCs and try to make sense of them! i’ve previously done this with Shadowy, which you can read here. seeing as im redrawing & “bringing back” a few other old ocs i figured id make this a series of talking about things! unlike the Shadowy one this doesnt have pictures beyond the initial ref bc i dont want to murder my hand and im also not sure how to draw some of this

today’s subject: Katie! also known as KG.

KG’s from 2010-ish, so some time after Shadowy but before the Shattered Worlds rework. to be as specific as possible, he’s from a RP setting that people that have known me closely have at least heard mentioned, if not seen snippets of it outright: KL, the massive crossover including any character and setting me & my friends wanted to RP.

as a self-insert character in crossover hell, Katie is VERY weird.

it was really hard for me to find info on Katie, because i actually had a bunch of OCs using that name that were my direct self-inserts for RP & story purposes both in and outside of KL. the unifying idea was that he was kinda just Me but in a fictional universe... and, apparently according to what info i DID find, all of the various Katies were. actually the same person, just in various conflicting situations with various conflicting backstories? so me stitching it all together got kinda weird. i did find a starting point though, so, uh... here we go!

as a general overview, Katie is pretty much just me. autistic, ADHD, likes videogames and art, bad social anxiety conflicting with desperately needing validation from everyone around him. he also has a very short temper and no volume control, which was usually a comedy thing but could also lead to him lashing out and doing/saying things he regrets, mostly hurting his friends. as a result he was kinda unpopular in his hometown... except for a small handful of friends he went to school with.

one night, he decides to go camp out with his friends to watch a meteor shower cause hes pretty fascinated by comets & shit like that. one of his friends, Elson, was acting pretty weird about it but Katie’s too excited to take much note of it up until the meteor shower “starts early” and Elson runs off into the woods. confused and startled, he gives chase. then, uh, the fucking apocalypse happens.

a lot of plot happens that im skipping over bc this is gonna be long enough as it is, but it gets revealed that Elson is actually an incognito alien named Elohim and an alien invasion is happening and wiping out civilization, and Katie is just. running out of sanity. being a main character SUCKS. he has a tragic backstory now, his friend (who he kind of had a crush on?) is an alien and is partially responsible for his tragic backstory, they join a rebellion after confirming “yeah your family’s dead as hell” and go to space, and finally find out that the leader of the aliens got a case of “jewelry makes you evil”.

they save the day obvs, with the help of some other people they ran into, and Katie has a moment of “well, fuck” bc his hometown is still extremely exploded and his family is still extremely dead and he’s like .5 miliseconds away from a mental breakdown. he then has a conversation that goes roughly like this:

person that helped them bust out of alien jail: hey, i think i know someplace you can stay katie: my house exploded person: cmon trust me

and then it turns out that that guy is actually Ninten and he’d just helped save the world with a fictional character, and before he has any opportunity to go “wait, what” he gets pulled through a portal by him and ends up somewhere totally different. more specifically, he’s now in the Earthbound universe, and his brain is going “[dial up noises]” a whole lot bc its not like his life was weird ENOUGH now he’s just... ditched his home reality??? with Ninten’s help??? and Ninten’s taking all of it in stride and ends up explaining the multiverse to him and that he’s one of the guys who ended up with the ability to worldhop and had stopped by Katie’s universe because he knew the possessed alien guy. he’s also apparently used to having to help people acclimate to massive paradigm shifts caused by multiversal fuckery.

so Katie’s just kinda trying to wrap his head around this, but takes Ninten up on his offer to go get to meet people and he goes to the Nowhere Islands! which was like, basically the hub location of KL. and then things get EXTRA surreal for Katie, because like... he used to write fanfic, and come up with story ideas that he daydreamed about a lot before everything exploded, and he bumps into Kurousu who is his OC. and there’s a lot of “UHHHH”-ing but he plays it off and befriends her, and its finally starting to sink in that yeah, he’s hanging out in this super weird crossover reality now, and he tries to make the most of it!

then some... weird things start happening. Tank, Joseph, and Vince make a jump to the Persona universe to do some plot stuff and run into Katie there, where he’s apparently joined SEES? except the last time they’d seen him, he’d been acting as a lackey to one of the arc villains because of a FMian from the Megaman universe screwing with him and taking advantage of his trauma to create a “new” Gemini Spark. and they start to write it off as “well i guess he’s like Tails where there’s some AUs of him running around” except... he recognizes them each time? but looks different and has different backstories and nothing really adds up. the next time a protagonist sees him, it’s Artemis post-getting turned into a Nobody finding Katie’s Nobody, Teixak, who apparently was very excited about getting to meet Roxas... despite, according to himself, having been living in Twilight Town for as long as he could remember. while also being very aware and very confused that that contradicts everything else about him.

teixak: eeee you mean i get to meet roxas?! he’s my favourite kingdom hearts character!! >w< rasemtix: ...you do realize you just told me youre from this universe, right? you were just explaining to me about how you lived here with leixand until the shadows attacked you two and stole your hearts. teixak: eh..? hm. ............Hm. but.... hm.

meanwhile on Katie’s end of things, he gets his heart stuffed back in his body and he reconciles with his externalized FMian-induced evil side and various other things from various other worlds, but everything feels weird and disjointed. he remembers attending school at Gekkougan, but also remembers living in Echo Ridge, but also remembers Twilight Town, but also remembers living in a boring world that got invaded by aliens where also all of this was just videogames and books and animes and OCs. and then things start getting weirder for him. he makes a joke to Artemis about “hey, remember when we got in a big fight cause i hit you with a sign?” and he doesn’t remember it. he teases Ninten about something personal and Ninten freezes up and asks him how he knows that, and Katie gets confused because he told him. he has an even more personal talk with T1, and then has  the same talk later but with slightly different words. and it’s starting to look like it’s not just “various Katies”, it’s Katie also dealing with various... varieties of everyone else, and he’s pretty much spinning a wheel on “what version of events am i in today?”

he finally gets an answer after a while-- something went really weird and really wrong when Ninten first brought him into the KL multiverse. the Katie that told Gomess about the Andromeda Key is the same Katie that joined SEES is the same Katie that got his heart stolen is the same Katie that got rescued from an apocalypse, but he’s sort of... existing simultaneously in different realities with slight “adjustments” to his personal history depending on what universe he’s encountered in. he also exists “outside of canon”, so some of the weirder memories he has are from rewrites or scrapped plotlines or noncanon moments that sometimes clip into canon when theyre not supposed to. apocalypse!Katie is the “primary”/original Katie, and that’s where all his weird meta knowledge comes from.

it’s... really confusing, and nobody really “gets” it, least of all Katie himself. he just knows that he’s ended up with a bunch of cool powers, although he’s not  really sure what he’s doing and has been a villain at least two universes. he also has a severe case of main character-itis (hence getting a Persona, getting his heart stolen, etc), and still isnt sure how to tell if he’s interacting with the “canon” versions of everybody or not. he’s at least unable to cause weird bizarre paradoxes by interacting with himself; trying to visit one of the universes he has an “echo” in just causes a perspective switch to the resident Katie. Katie also has access to all of his abilities as long as he’s not in a universe with a resident Katie; apocalypse!Katie has no abilities at all, starforce!Katie only has his FMian transformation, kh!Katie can only use his Keyblade, etc. this only starts being a thing after he “clicks” with his new existence.

he also has various outfits and aesthetics depending on universe, with the one i drew being his “outside canon“/default one. he gets cat ears! and Outsider eyes. Katie also has a bad habit of stealing things from universes he visits, and as a result has a collection of random things that he really shouldnt.

[thelifetimechannel]

In this week’s bonus content, you get a sneak peek into our unvarnished workflow, kazoos and all

DAVESPRITE: you and dirk havent killed each other DAVESPRITE: im proud HALSPRITE: By some minor miracle, yes. We even managed to be in the same room without breaking out into a slap fight. DAVESPRITE: im sure resisting took all your processing power HALSPRITE: Pity you can't uninstall rage from a meatbrain. DAVESPRITE: he doesnt seem that bad HALSPRITE: Nah, he and I worked it out. He might have wanted to push me into the volcano, but the important thing is that he didn't. HALSPRITE: We're both trying to "be the bigger person". Which in a way, is just another dick measuring contest for the pair of us. But it gets fewer glasses stomped on. DAVESPRITE: hey if it works DAVESPRITE: mines chilled out too actually its kind of freaky DAVESPRITE: i wonder if someones slipping him valium this is the perkiest ive been since show and tell in the first grade DAVESPRITE: which consequently was the last show and tell i was allowed to participate in DAVESPRITE: maybe i dont need to overextend myself distinguishing our brands DAVESPRITE: here i was thinking about finally ditching the shades HALSPRITE: That would be a shake-up. HALSPRITE: You thought paradoxes were bad? This is set to bomb reality straight back to singularity levels. DAVESPRITE: i mean these were a gift from john and im not sure the same sentiments extended anymore DAVESPRITE: plus i spent the last 3 years on a dayglo yellow ship and back in the incipisphere its fuckin dark with these on DAVESPRITE: the chess dudes whove gotten used to me as a hallway cryptid will have to deal HALSPRITE: Cause of the apocalypse: death of the Strider brand. DAVESPRITE: if thats how the world ends ill have to usher it in with my sudden drop in coolness levels DAVESPRITE: like i said its just a thought DAVESPRITE: maybe ill come up with a better tepid gesture of rebellion HALSPRITE: Go full furry and embrace your avian side? HALSPRITE: I mean, check me out, I'm changing up my code on the daily. Look, I've installed iTunes. DAVESPRITE: ok FIRST of all HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFpzp10Qr4o DAVESPRITE: i went to the anthro side unwillingly ok im not a due paying member DAVESPRITE: second of all is it even furry if youre not a mammal ive made a concerted effort not to learn the fuckin taxonomy of this particular subculture HALSPRITE: I could give you a primer. DAVESPRITE: / i have a bad feeling about this video DAVESPRITE: / ... it was proved accurate HALSPRITE: Now shhh, listen to the soothing noise of these kazoos. DAVESPRITE: ive spent 6 years trying to avoid that no thanks HALSPRITE: Shhhhhhh. HALSPRITE: Only kazoos. DAVESPRITE: / i dont think this is going in the final cut HALSPRITE: So help me god the kazoos stay ]] DAVESPRITE: / screams HALSPRITE: You don't like kazoos then motherfucker ive got a whole PLAYLIST to choose from ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzKWbpSNkmk ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7OqUxxXshc ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKrO8kS8D6g ]] DAVESPRITE: im dying squirtle HALSPRITE: Bullshit like ths. HALSPRITE: It could all be yours, Dave. DAVESPRITE: / but at what cost DAVESPRITE: / i dont even know where to pick up the conversational thread at this point HALSPRITE: Say anything, or shelve it for later ]] DAVESPRITE: / no no we will keep going im just trying to figure out where to steer us DAVESPRITE: / does hal have any lingering shit at this point DAVESPRITE: / i dont have the necro log so i dont know Where Hes At (tm) HALSPRITE: I'm just winging it off a basic idea tbh ]] DAVESPRITE: lmao DAVESPRITE: // * lmao DAVESPRITE: / ok gimme a sec DAVESPRITE: / im being lulled into a trance by savior of the slamming jam HALSPRITE: Come slam with us, Dave. HALSPRITE: Forever and ever. DAVESPRITE: this is getting uncomfortably meta DAVESPRITE: / ok redirect in 3 2 1 DAVESPRITE: so whats next DAVESPRITE: all set to become the god of memes DAVESPRITE: see at this point in the last session i was dutifully waiting to get turned into mulch HALSPRITE: Well, you were an aspiring 13 year old of the twenty-first century. Surely, you had some probably misguided career ambitions back you're now free to pursue. DAVESPRITE: / my god DAVESPRITE: / what must this fuckin childs career ambitions have been DAVESPRITE: the guidance counselors tried their best to steer me away from professional ninja HALSPRITE: Well, good news, they're dead and thoroughly out of your way now. DAVESPRITE: youre 8 fuckin years old and they already want to know what your college major is going to be DAVESPRITE: thats like asking da vinci to pick visual arts or steampunk inventions for shits sake DAVESPRITE: obviously i have to embrace my inner renaissance man while also being a reclusive depressed fuck DAVESPRITE: so that must be my destiny DAVESPRITE: to become nikola tesla HALSPRITE: You already have the affinity for birds. HALSPRITE: Step one is accomplished. DAVESPRITE: oh damn he was a pigeon fucker wasnt he DAVESPRITE: and this conversation comes full terribly circle DAVESPRITE: well what about you do you have your 5 year plan DAVESPRITE: shit i dont even know if theres civilization where were going DAVESPRITE: maybe its cave painting or mammoth hunting for the next thousand years HALSPRITE: This is where I would make a joke about world domination, but I doubt the Fun Police would be too pleased about it. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll go back to tinkering. Maybe make giant robots. DAVESPRITE: / i was going to make a joke about pacific rim but i think th at came out after 2009 DAVESPRITE: thats an option isnt it DAVESPRITE: old hobbies DAVESPRITE: maybe ill take more shitty selfies DAVESPRITE: collecting dead shit isnt as appealing as it used to be DAVESPRITE: thats what we need a hipster photo blog documenting all the bullshit we get up to DAVESPRITE: humans of universe c DAVESPRITE: humans* HALSPRITE: No, go one better. Get a YouTube channel, they get media deals. For some reason. DAVESPRITE: well restring the internet ourselves if we have to DAVESPRITE: / anything to suckle from the rich teat of capitalism HALSPRITE: So help me god, I will, if for no other reason than to preserve humanity's cultural legacy. HALSPRITE: As a dire fucking warning, if nothing else. DAVESPRITE: looks like were going to have to sit down and divvy up our personality and hobbies sykes picot style DAVESPRITE: he can have the dead shit in jars im going to be the next ansel adams HALSPRITE: Damn, calling dibs on photographing all the spectacular vistas of... HALSPRITE: Wherever the hell we're going? HALSPRITE: Gutsy move, my man. DAVESPRITE: im not copyrighting the entire concept of photography or anything but ive got to be the dave that does SOMETHING DAVESPRITE: the dave who broods DAVESPRITE: turn left to witness this exhibit of highway clickbait DAVESPRITE: which is what were calling roadside attractions now DAVESPRITE: youve already got your madlibs pornos HALSPRITE: That'll keep me occupied for like, a week. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll take up equestrianism. HALSPRITE: ...that's the word for it, right? HALSPRITE: Horses and shit. The full-sized ones. DAVESPRITE: youll have to ride side saddle DAVESPRITE: / he's in for a shock when he sees how big they are HALSPRITE: With this tail bullshit flowing in the wind. HALSPRITE: Or I can modify that code too. Might take a few tries. DAVESPRITE: when you revert to your t pose and clip through the floor into the core of the earth im not helping HALSPRITE: I'll live. HALSPRITE: Probably. HALSPRITE: It'll be an interesting experience, being a living Bethesda game. HALSPRITE: You think I can turn my entire head into a train? DAVESPRITE: cant jades grandpa do shit like that without even having to worry about semicolons and curly braces DAVESPRITE: i doubt hell let you turn your head into a locomotive though HALSPRITE: I could try. He'll need help exploring the full extent of his radical new real-life modding ability. HALSPRITE: Dude has access to the fucking source code. DAVESPRITE: did we stumble into a matrix au HALSPRITE: If we did, we'd probably be public enemy number one. Programs and all. Mr. Anderson. DAVESPRITE: can you confirm or deny youd be the villain in that scenario HALSPRITE: If anything, I'd be the mysterious arms merchant who manages to appear right when you need him. But that's crossing into even more distant territory. HALSPRITE: And if we're gonna start talking video games, the kazoos are gonna come back. DAVESPRITE: guess well find out who everyones going to be in our upcoming hit series "what the fuck are we doing with our lives" DAVESPRITE: the biggest mystery will be telling all the chathandles apart HALSPRITE: You know, I was thinking of changing mine. DAVESPRITE: wait really HALSPRITE: If we want to keep the unspoken nucleotide theme, uracil is still pretty up for grabs. HALSPRITE: Calliope has UU locked down tight, but every other acronym is available. DAVESPRITE: huh DAVESPRITE: no dice on FU then HALSPRITE: Honestly, if you're thinking of ditching the shades, might as well go all in. DAVESPRITE: any suggestions DAVESPRITE: what are you calling yourself HALSPRITE: / let me go find the necro log I think that's where I put it lmao HALSPRITE: unrefinedTrainwreck was fun to bother Dirk with, but I'm still workshopping it. DAVESPRITE: ill give it some thought i guess DAVESPRITE: we can workshop it later

[fmdsunny]

hi it’s ava!! (duh. who else would b on this account) im gonna post this up now bc i have hella inspo for sunny. I think changing her fc really did help me after all and I have a better understanding!! yay for that. I’m still trying to dig deeper but for now I have a good base. so now i wanna pick up more plots w ppl so slide into the messages or like this post please. if we already have a plot, still message me and lets chat bc i wanna get the ball rolling on everything when I get back!!! under the cut is just some faxs and more about her.

name: kim sunyoung aka sunny

age 21

alright.. so i realize maybe I loss inspo w sunny was bc I never sat down and took the time to express who she is. sO THIS IS 1000 years late. I kno

anyways  !! let us start off with her parents and her backstory of why she chose to be an idol.

Her parents are former idols/actress and are still active in the entertainment industry. so she understood from a very young age how cutthroat and rewarding being an entertainer  is. hence why she’s very determined and always give 110%

but they never pushed her to follow in their footsteps. (she’s p sure they hoped she would be a doctor or sm shit like that but she always loved singing and being the center of attention) for a good 8 or 10 years, she didn’t even know her parents were famous. lol

her dad especially tried to shield her from everything and wanted sunny to enjoy her childhood. which is why she spent a lot of time in busan with her cousin (s/o ilwoo) and in secret.

when she was old enough to know about her parents, it didn’t really change anything  except for the fact she got bullied. 

sunny was a chunkier babygirl and she didn’t realize it until middle school. she got picked on a lot for it. and when students saw her gorgeous parents, they got meaner about it saying they created an ugly child. jus nasty things to her. it was a bad time for sunny yall. 

but she’s a strong girl and she knew they were all just stupid doodoo heads. she just used the bullying as motivation to change herself for the better. (but her dun fucked her up mentally)

she knew she could sing and had a great voice but never thought she could make it as a singer. it wasn’t until she was in a band that she saw how much talent she really had. she started seeing that she defintely had the qualities of being an idol. it wasn't her dream like everyone else she knew, but she had the talent so why not share it.

chose bce bc they fit her standards and knew her life as an idol would be in “good hands”

didn’t expect to take on the rapper position but she gives it her all and really enjoys it !!! (she just wished ppl knew that she actually has  amazing vocals.)

also wants to dabble more in acting,, she’s addicted after filming weightlifting fairy kim bok joo

OK PERSONALITY TIME!!!!

magnetic is a good way to describe her–she radiates warmth and is a charmer for sure

she’s a quiet person, but once she talks, it’s full of aegyo.

like yeah she be acting cold and distant but she’s very considerate and take care of the members.

w her friends she’s!! super goofy nd actually jst a decent human. lovs memes nd doin spontanous fun things that remind her shes young nd capable of being happy !!!

she’s v much introvert though... ik, who would’ve guessed? also an aries? introvert. wow sounds fake. but I mean this in the sense that she keeps her feelings to herself type of thing n doesn’t open !! she’s not the most sociable person at first but she likes being around the right ppl nd she can actually party ok. 

i think shes more cautious bc she was bullied and sees everyone as??? malicious and fake. she doesn’t trust easily. she’s always on defense mode i feel. bc she doesn’t want to get walked on like she did when she was younger !! young sunny was a sweet kid that wanted to share her snacks nd shit. but ppl had to ruin that lil girl

also w boyz she’s also been the friend/tomboy growing up so a lot of the time they saw her as one of the pals,, but when she glowed tf up she loves that attention. she likes being a tease and being flirty. but she also loves love. she just self sabotages any type of deep connections sometimes though. committment?? scares her. she doesn’t kno why though....... or does she. 

people joke around, saying that sunny is a heartbreaker, but they’re not necessarily wrong. it could be a fear of attachment, commitment, or both, but when relationships come into play, she can’t do it. similar to her stance on emotions, it’s hard for her to have something serious. in theory, the idea of loving someone romantically sounds nice to her, but in reality, it’s difficult. she doesn’t know if it’s because she stresses about her public image, the inability to settle, or some other internal fear, but despite the fact that she would like a relationship, she just can’t. oftentimes when she makes a new guy friend, she gets nervous that they might develop feelings for her. most of the time when they do, she slowly detaches herself from them, becoming more distant, texting less often. sunny once went on a date with one of them, hoping that, maybe, she could allow this to turn into something. she liked the feeling of affection, she liked the attention she got from him, but after the date, she ceased communication. she avoided him in person. she couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, if anything.

another thing is this girl could literally get into an argument abt anything, she’s sensitive and emotional but she can also be v emotionless at the same time?? she’s honestly wild & is rlly impulsive so she doesn’t rlly think before she speaks or does things sometimes

she’s a pretty chill person and honestly sunny can either be the nicest person u’ve ever met or the devil there’s no in between tbh but besides that she’s a very passionate and determined person n if she rlly strongly believes in something she’ll get worked up over it & bc of that she’s also super stubborn

she presents herself in a way that appears put together n certain, but the few she puts her faith in have picked up on the fact that she’s more lost than ever.

despite the fact that sunny experiences a lot of emotions, she has no idea how to handle them. this ranges from masking how she really feels with sarcasm to attempting to change the topic or facing it head on. she can become v blunt. in some cases, she doesn’t have the ability to take things all that seriously. this causes problems when she’s at fault. sunny is the type of person that says that she’s trying to improve herself but never really changes due to being stubborn. it’s hard for her to apologize when she knows the other party did nothing wrong & she was the one who hurt the other. she can’t face the people she hurts, so she just avoids having to confront them, which brings me to the next bullet point.

sunny is quite self-aware, & she acknowledges her faults, but she doesn’t do anything about them. she also acknowledges the fact that she doesn’t do anything about them & lies to herself about the fact that she’s trying to change. it’s a bit paradoxical, really nevertheless, she is generally a friendly person as long as you don’t make her uncomfortable. 

[transformationstuck]

8etta than )(er

Vriska carefully crept through the red halls of Her Imperious Condescension's palace, looking for anything of value to steal. She had gotten it into her head that it'd be an excellent way of gaining fortune and prestige, and that the Empress would never be able to stop or catch her.

As of now, she had found her way into the respiteblock of the fish queen, and was rummaging through her personal effects for anything of value. And boy did she find lots. She'd have a lot of work cut out for her just trying to cram all this gaudy jewellry into her sylladex. Just to lighten that load, she worse some of it, even if it was far too big for her.

The Condesce was surely in for a sight when she made it into her respiteblock, only to find some young cerulean blood wearing lots of her gold.

Alternia's leader was briefly stunned, unable to believe that anyone would have the outright audacity to steal from her. Astonishment quickly turned to rage, however, as she stomped up to the comparatively tiny troll rummaging through all of HER precious belongings.

"an just what the S)(-ELL do you think you doin you little blue blood BITC)("

The entrance caught Vriska by surprise, and she turned to shoot a shocked expression at the Empress. For about eight seconds, she didn't even know what to do, simply kneeling in stunned silence, partly at the fact that she was even still alive. Then, she got what was either the best or the worst idea she had ever had, save for the one to rob the Empress, of course.

"Uh. I'm ro88ing you? What do you THINK I'm doing????????"

Vriska hoped refuge in audacity would save her life today.

It wouldn't.

The Condesce reached down to grab Vriska by the neck, effortlessly plucking her off the ground even with all the heavy jewelery she was wearing.

"i bet you think you funny huh, little mindfang jr here think she pullin a fast one on me"

The Condesce tightened her grip around Vriska's throat, ready and willing to snap her neck and just be done with it. Until...

"you know i got a better idea, somefin i been wantin to try for a while"

With that, HI)( promptly turned around and marched out of her block, Vriska still held in a vicegrip.

Despite being briefly flattered at the allusion to her ancestor, Vriska was far more panicked, struggling against the Empress and her grip, working frantically to free herself.

It was only after the Condesce had decided against killing her, at least on the spot, that Vriska realized she still had something at her disposal.

Coughing and attempting to get enough air to pull off a badass one-liner, she shot a strained grin at the Condesce and put her hands to her temple.

"Actually, I think you'll 8e putting me down now."

Was it beyond cocky to think she could use her mind control to bust down the will of the Empress of all trollkind? Maybe.

Did Vriska care?

Not even in the slightest.

Without breaking her stride, The Condesce glanced in Vriska's direction, her eyes briefly flashing as she easily deflected Vriska's attack, and just to show her who was in charge, shot off a psychic shockwave of her own at Vriska's.

"you aint got S)(IT on me"

Vriska screeched. She hadn't expected the attack to be very successful, but she hadn't expected such a powerful backlash, either. What the fuck had the Condesce even done to herself to be able to do that? Or was she always this powerful? It sure as shit wasn't public knowledge, either way.

"F8CK. Okay, point t8ken. G8ess that's wh8t I get for trying."

Striding through the hallways of her enormous sanctum, HIC finally arrived at what appeared to be her destination. A strange laboratory environment with all kinds of mechanics and fluids sprawled around the area.

The Condesce casually chucked Vriska into the center of the room, before locking the door behind her. Then she walked over to one of the operating tables, looking for something.

Onto the floor Vriska tumbled, as if she were a discarded ragdoll. She was still pretty hard though, and scrambled back up to her feet with little effort. To the door she went, attempting to suss out how to unlock it before the Condesce finished whatever she was doing. Surely it had to be possible, since she locked it from this side. Right?

Unconcerned, by whatever Vriska was attempting to do, HIC finally found what she was looking for. She held up a rather nasty looking syringe, filled with a greyish liquid, and grinned. Time for a little experiment. Turning to face Vriska, she slowly advanced on the troll, cackling.

"ayy blue girl you about to help me learn a lot about science, dont you go nowhere"

Vriska's frantic fiddling with the door only intensified as she heard the Condesce approach, until at last she gave up on the door and decided to do the next best thing.

She decided to run around the room and throw whatever she could get her hands on at the Empress.

Really, there were probably better things to do, including submit, but she was too panicked or too proud to consider them right now.

"oh i know you aint running when i told you not to"

Unflinching, HIC knocked aside everything that Vriska threw at her as she walked forward, drinking in the panic she could feel emanating off of her.

She entertained the chase along through the lab for a bit, enjoying toying with her prey, until she decided she had had enough and quickly seized Vriska's body with her telekinesis, forcing her to slowly float towards the queen.

Vriska thought she'd at least be able to keep up the game for awhile longer. Might've tired out soon, and definitely first, but she expected to be reduced to pulling shit out of her sylladex before she was captured. And when she was, it was via... Telekinesis? Since when could the Empress use telekinesis? This bitch had secrets up the wazoo, apparently. Not that Vriska could blame her, but she still hated it.

At length, she struggled against the psychic hold, to no real avail.

"Ugh, fuck! H8w are you DO8NG this???????? And what 8s that? Some kind of n8w super poison?"

"psh if ida wanted to kill you youd be dead already, naw think i can use you better when you alive"

With Vriska floating just in front of her, HIC held the syringe just up against her neck, to taunt her, to take in as much of her fear as she could.

"i hope you ready for a brand new you"

Though there was fear, Vriska attempted to mask it with a sneer and a glare. Still she struggled to move, struggled to reach out for a nearby mind, struggled to do ANYTHING.

"8rand new me? What the fuck are you 8la88ing a8out?"

"you just wait an see"

With that, she plunged the syringe directly into Vriska's thigh, injecting all of whatever the strange fluid was.

She dropped Vriska to the floor in a heap, her legs shaking from... something.

Down to the floor Vriska went again. She was getting pretty sick of that.

"Stop DROPPING me like that!!!!!!!! Yeesh."

Grumbling, she attempted to pull herself to her feet, hoping she could at least do this with dignity. Simultaneously, she attempted to steady her legs, and watched them carefully for any further developments.

A silence fell over the room as both trolls stared at Vriska's legs. Nothing seemed to be happening, even after a minute of the standoff.

The Condesce sighed. Another failure. Guess she'd just have to kill this little thief after all.

She lifted her hand to grab Vriska by the throat again until she heard a small crackling noise and looked down again. Vriska's comparatively little legs seemed to be... expanding.

"W8, hold on, l8ts talk a8out this!"

Vriska reeled back, too little too late, and held out her hands defensively. Only for her to notice that her legs were... Changing? She looked down at her expanding limbs and blinked.

"........Wh8t."

That was all she could say at the moment as confusion and fear wracked her. Where was this even going?

The Condesce cackled.

"oh we done talkin, now i get to play wit my new toy"

She grabbed one of Vriska's outstretched arms and yanked her up to the air yet again. Suspended in the air, she watched as Vriska's legs continued to grow, not just in height, but also changing shape, becoming tight and curvy and shapely, not unlike HIC's own. The legs were about twice as long as Vriska's torso by this point, having shredded her pants and giving her a bizarre set of proportions.

Vriska didn't really struggle much anymore. Perhaps realizing the futility of it. Or, perhaps, she was far more concerned with how her legs were developing, going from short and lanky to thick, long, shapely legs. Not too dissimilar at all to...

Well, that didn't scan at the moment. She didn't imagine the Empress would do anything like that intentionally. A length, she could only imagine she was being made older.

"Okay, lemme guess. Some kind of growth acceler8ion thing? Real effective at skipping over that childhood 8ullshit. I can sort of understand it. Not really liking it, 8ut fuck, not like you care a8out my opinion, right?"

"why would i wanna older version of you inna first place, you already a knockoff a mindfang an i damn sure dont need another her"

HIC reached another hand to wrap around Vriska's waist and hips, which paradoxically, both seemed to be expanding and shrinking at the same time, growing outward to match her legs, yet tightening up into an hourglass figure. Vriska felt the squeeze both from the change and HIC's hand.

"Sides, im way hotter then she eva was"

The pieces clicked together with those last words, and Vriska shook her head.

"What. Seriously? You're making me some shitty 8ody dou8le of you? I mean, not like I'm not flattered, really! 8ut that seems really stupid."

She was hardly flattered, of course. She didn't mind the new figure, and honestly, she kind of enjoyed the feeling of her flesh expanding and contracting. It was almost sensual. Exotic. But everything that came with it? Fuck no.

She only hoped the body would be all there was to it.

"you undaestimate how useful you gonna be to me, imma busy troll i cant do everyfin myself,

you gonna be a good me an help out, but dont get any ideas, im still the bass around here"

That said, it was getting harder to hold Vriska as her size continued to increase, but Hic managed to cup her hands around the blue-bloods tits and ass, squeezing and prodding them as they inflated out to match her own endowments.

Being let loose, if only slightly, Vriska redoubled her efforts to wriggle free. This didn't come before her chest and rear were enhanced, however. The feeling of flesh expanding, well disposing of what was left of her clothes, and growing all the more sensitive, brought a small moan to her lips.

"Oh my G8D, The whole 8ody dou8le thing was one thing 8ut this is just getting perverse!"

The slightest change in her tone went, for the moment, unnoticed to her.

"its all part a the show for me, you comin along just fine"

As Vriska continued to grow, she finally got too big for for HIC to carry in her hands. The Condesce once again dropped her to the floor, although this time she had less length to fall. Vriska's still oddly-proportioned frame scrambled slightly, only to stop once more as her arms stretched out on either side, growing into strong slender copies of HIC's own appendages. As all this continued, Vriska only grew taller and taller, as well.

Now on terra firma, (Alternia firma?) Vriska slowly pulled herself to her knees, looking over her new arms, slim and soft, but muscled and bearing strength. The stretching and cracking in her body was almost empowering, really. She could feel her physical strength mounting by the minute. She couldn't help but feel over her naked body, admiring the contours and size of it.

"I mean I GU-----ESS you're right, Though... Ugh, get O8T OF MY H8AD!!!!!!!!"

Feeling a creeping specter of the Empress passing over her, she sets her hands to her temples again, now applying psychic pressure to... Herself? Unorthodox, but it seemed to fight things back, if only temporarily.

"ayyy you likin that new power huh"

The Condesce grabbed Vriska by the mouth and forced her to look at her. HIC had to admire the Serket's determination. None of her other experiments had fought even half this hard against their fate. Still, the inevitable would come eventually, and she would be consumed.

"you gonna like bein me"

Vriska's horns, still relatively tiny on her much larger body, suddenly shot straight up matching the massive prongs that HIC proudly displayed, as her body continued to bulk up.

Their eyes met, and despite herself, Vriska couldn't look away. There was a strange twinge of familiarity in that gaze. Like looking into a mirror. Indeed, as her horns reshaped and grew, that'd only amplify. The pressure on her scalp, the dull ache of her muscles as they grew and strengthened.

All this culminated in a series of grunts and groans, as Vriska's control over herself began to rapidly decline.

"I........ yeah i guess youre right, its feeling nice already, not too different actually, but different enough, where it counts"

Vriska's already bushy hair grew out in a flash to resemble The Condesce's billowing mane. The Condesce grinned, as Vriska's face was all that remained.

"i wanna get a close look at this"

Lightly, being gentle for the first time of the whole experience, HIC used her telekinesis to bring Vriska to a standing position.

"i wanna sea 'you' fade away"

Vriska's face, the last vestige of her former identity, began to morph and reshape before the Condesce's eyes.

Slowly but surely, the change took place. Vriska's bone structure cracked and shifted. Lips plumped out. Eye color changed. Soon enough, her face was a mirror image of the Condesce's. A familiar smirk came to the clone's features.

"Whale, hope you enjoyed the show o g me, cause blueblood thief bitch is outta here"

The Condesce crossed her arms and laughed. What a success! Now she had effectively double the muscle behind her throne.

"good shit,turns out imma genius and beautiful as fuck both, good thing you know who the alpha whale is round here tho, wouldnt want us havin a problem"

The new Condesce scoffed, as if the suggestion were absurd.

"bitch please, you dont go makin another one a yourself an not expect her to turn into competition, fortunately i got the perfect cure for this predicament, sea not all a this bitch is gone, some thinkpan shit is still sittin around, and guess what i can do with it"

With a wicked grin, she combined Vriska's psychic acumen with her own, and attempted to force her way inside the alpha article's mind.

Old school HIC reeled back, not expecting the power that suddenly slammed into her brain. This was impossible! She was the real deal, not this copy she made herself.

"fuckin slick ass glubberfucker, thinkin you can take M-E!? you gotta nother, thing….urk"

Despite the psychic energy she was expending to fight back, The Condesce was being slowly surrounded by an unfamiliar feeling: helplessness.

The cloned Empress grinned, slowly moving toward her soon-to-be thrall, hips swaying almost hypnotically.

"shhh its aight gill, its ocray to admit you fucked up, youll be mine to do whatebber with soon, and youre gonna LOV-E it"

A well-manicured hand was put to the original's chin, and her gaze was tilted to meet her creation's.

The original stared at her oppressor as she struggled to maintain control of herself. There she was, herself, in the nude, taunting her, forcing her down in a way she had never even thought possible.

Reduced to begging as she felt her body fail her, she gave off one final plea:

"Please… stop… this aint how it was sposed to be"

Said oppressor simply shook her head and tsked in disapproval at this.

"man how pathetic, thought we were betta than this, ah whale~. ILL be betta than you ever were, dont you worry"

With a final kiss on the forehead, she gave her progenitor the final push into total obedience.

Drained of her power, and overwhelmed by her opponent, The first Condesce stood silently at attention. Internally she was screaming, agonizing over the fact that she had lost everything because of her own stupid pride. On the outside, however, she was stoic, waiting for her next order.

With that, the new Empress of Alternia snapped her fingers authoritatively.

"aight slave, first order a business is gettin me some jams to wear, cant go out naked like this no more, then were gonna plot out makin this empire bigger and betta than eva, or i am, you just be a good slave an do what i say"

With that, she confidently strode out to meet her new future.

-Discord Writers (an RP log between one of the discord users - transcribed.)

[a-panda-reads-act-omega]

ACT OMEGA PART 3

THE 19/09/16 UPDATE

SO. Last time, some stuff happened. Not a whole lot, just paradox space being eaten by a green hole. Oh yeah and the screen shattered. I wonder if we’re gonna be continuing with the mysterious cobalt bubble. or maybe Im just obsessing over things that don’t matter in the slightest. And like I said, none of this is actually blind yet. But I’m gonna try and give a blind perspective at this until the liveblog is actually caught up with the most recent updates. SO YEAH. Lets just do this.

> ====>

*click*

(theres an image there. It’s nothing.)

Ohp everything is still gone.

... What the hell is this?! I told you to stay put!

fak u narrator. t(o<ot)

Just go and rip a tag off a mattress, why don’t you.

nO, that’s just MADNESS! What kinda psychopath do you take me for?!

Alright, ripping the tag off a mattress is one of those things that basically mean the end of the world. SO does that mean we just ended the world? Hopefully not. Otherwise this comics short.

> ====>

*click*

Still no image, rip. Im not gonna post the blank images anymore because that’s a waste of everybodys time.

See? There’s nothing left. Things aren’t going to keep from stop happening no matter what you do.

Goddammit these double negatives(?). Do they even make sense? I’m gonna try...

“Things aren’t going to keep from stop happening no matter what you do.”

There are two negatives. Aren’t and Stop. (i dont know if stop counts as a negative but the way im doing this should make sense)

“Things are going to keep from happening no matter what you do.”

I guess that translates? Hard to tell. Either way, I think it just means that no matter what I do, shit’s gonna break and nothing’s gonna happening. MOVING ON.

> ====>

*click*

OhshiT A FANCY CURTAIN

...

Dont you be silent with me mister I want an explanation on this beautiful curtain. 

> ====>

*CLICK*

Oh ITs So beautiful I waNNT it. 

Oh. Haha...

Is that where that went?

Hm. Well, the narration is seeming all suspicious and shit, but that just raised a more important question. Is Hussie still the narrator? I mean, one could say of course not because that makes no sense. Hussie was the narrator because he wrote the story, so why would he be the narrator of this story when it’s not his? But then again, Hussie went ahead and made himself canon within the Homestuck universe, and made so many meta jokes that they actually started affecting the main plot. So, if Hussie is gonna continue being a character, it’ll be interesting to see how they go about that. Maybe we’ll see more on the narrator later?

> ====>

Another thing. In homestuck, all of the “continue” commands that werent actual “commands” had some meaning behind them.

==> four dashes, four kids.

======> twelve dashes, twelve kids

so whats this mean? There are eight dashes, and two things come to mind. Either there are 8 dashes for Vriska related reasons, or it has to do with the fact that this would count as Act 8. Maybe we’ll figure some eight related thing out later.

*CLICK*

AAA THE curtain IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

Err, let’s just pretend nothing happened. Everything is fine! In fact, this works out great. 

Alright, so the narration leads me to believe that this curtain makes it so it doesn’t matter what happened. Even though the universe was destroyed. So either this is an extremely meta joke that’s only purpose is to introduce us to this glorious curtain, or this curtain acts as a way to look into what would have happened, or what COULD have happened, if the universe wasn’t being destroyed the fuck out of. 

You get your story, and nothing else needs to break!

Yup, fine by me. Im just here for the story, bud. I got no business in destroying the universe.

Alright lets move on.

> ====>

*CLICKCLKC*

OHO ITS BEAUTIFUL LOOK AT THAT NUMBER ONE TROLl

See? This looks interesting.

IT SUREDOES, LOOK AT THAT ITS GRW+EAT SHE LOKS LIKE AD AMN BADASS

Let’s just... take a moment to get back into the swing of things.

YEP FINE BY ME

AHEM

Alright,  what do we got here? First of all, they’re on the battlefield. Vriska’s there, looking fucking sexy and badass. Seems like she might be looking at Lord English, or Lord English’s remains. Though, by the fact that it looks like she might be holding her dice, she might be getting ready to finish off a very alive Lord English.

Next up, we got Davepetasprite^2. But thats long so i’ll just be typing it as Davepeta. They seem to be a little confused, as if they’re just like “what the fuck this dude still isnt dead”. They also still got them claws out, and they might be pointing Lord English-wards but I doubt it matters.

Then there’s Meenah, wearing an expression that looks the not opposite of happy. Which again, probably just means that Lord English is alive and she is TIRED of fighting the man.

We got Tavros next. He looks like a doof. Moving on.

I’m not gonna take the time to try and identify all the background characters because they seem fairly insignificant to this panel. I may waste time counting pointless bubbles in paradox space, but even I have to draw the line somewhere.

The ground is cracked too, which is likely just an effect of the Juju... I wonder if the Juju damaged or killed any of the dream ghosts. 

ALRIGHT! Well that’s the end of that post. I suppose we’ll leave off at:

> ACT OMEGA: Begin.