#next thing you know Dex is gonna make

[famousinfamous]

Dex: *breaks into the registery files aka supposedly the one of the highest security databases in the whole world and while he’s doing it breaks into all the other intelligent species networks as well. Supposedly manifests at twelve but he says he’s always been good with gadgets so he probably manifested before that. Manages to restrict the abilities of a literal super elf who was ‘made’ by some on the smartest elves and gnomes to ever exist (they spent years ‘making’ her by the way.) does this all before he turns 14* litterally everyone in the series: yeah that seems normal

[trollrider1111]

Making ocs is an art that i think was lost on me, to do that i think you need to be able to figure out a life and in order to do THAT i need experience in making ocs. Dammit i gotta do this badly, scared and for the first time

[briefinquiries]

Tyler Owens x Reader: No Hesitation

Request: From anonymous: “I had an idea for Tyler Owens!! I feel like Tyler would be the type of guy that if a girl came up to him and said ‘this guy is creepy, pls pretend to be my bf’ he would be like ‘hell yay’ and scare the guy away without making the girl uncomfortable?? Maybe you could do a scenario like that with reader?? Thank youuu!!! Lots of love!!”

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: none

A/N: guys.... i'm down bad for tyler owens, pls send help (or requests so i can keep writing about him). anywayyy, enjoy!

“You comin’ T?” Boone asked as he peered into Tyler’s motel room. 

Tyler glanced up from where he sat on the edge of his creaky, double mattress and nodded. “Yeah, I just need to grab a shirt that doesn’t smell like pig shit.”

“Good luck with that,” Boone chuckled. “We haven't done laundry in almost three weeks– just about everything in my bag smells like pig shit.”  

“Maybe it’s time we popped home for a bit,” Tyler muttered as he continued digging through his bag. Finally, he pulled out an unused, plain, T-shirt that had been folded at the bottom of his duffel. “What kind of place is this, Boone?” he asked as he pulled the shirt over his head. 

“Just a bar, man. Nothin’ fancy. They got darts though, and a pool table. Which, by the way, I bet you fifty bucks I can smoke you at.”

“Boone, you don’t even have fifty bucks,” Tyler replied, shaking his head. He stood up from the bed and joined his friend in the hallway, shutting his motel room door behind him. 

“Do too,” Boone said defensively as they began walking towards the parking lot to join the rest of the team. 

“Oh you mean the fifty bucks I gave you to get the van’s oil changed last week? Which now I’m assuming you never did–” 

“An honest mistake,” Boone said, putting his hands up in surrender. “They were closed the day you gave it to me, then I’ll be honest, I forgot about it. But my point is, beat me at pool and that money is yours again.” 

“I don’t want the money to be mine again, I want the van to get an oil change.”

“Well you get your fifty bucks back and you can use it for whatever you’d like– oil change included.”

Tyler shook his head, knowing there was no use arguing with his friend. 

“What’re you two love birds arguing about now?” Lilly asked. She was perched on the hood of Tyler’s truck looking at footage she’d taken from her drone earlier in the day. 

“T’s too scared to play me in pool,” Boone answered before Tyler could. 

“Aw,” Lilly said teasingly. “Nothin’ to be scared of. We’ll still love ya, even if Boone kicks your ass.”

“Yeah, T,” Dani added from the front seat of the van. They had the door kicked open and their feet resting out the rolled down window. “There’s no shame in losin’. Only in never trying.”

“I oughta just leave the lot of you behind. Me and Dexter can take things from here. Isn’t that right, Dex?”

“Sure,” Dexter said casually. “But I’ll have you know I can also beat your ass at pool.”

“Unbelievable,” Tyler muttered to himself. “Who’s ridin’ with me?”

Lilly and Boone’s hands shot up. “Shotgun,” Boone announced. 

“You always get shotgun,” Lilly muttered as she climbed into the backseat of his truck. 

“We’ll meet you guys there,” Dani said as they pulled their feet into the van and started it up. Dexter climbed into the passenger seat and then the group of them were off. 

It took about fifteen minutes to get to the bar Boone had been going on about all day. He insisted they served the best chicken wings in all of Tulsa. Tyler would be the judge of that. 

The parking lot was relatively full– but not surprisingly so for a Saturday night. 

“If you have more than three drinks, you’re ridin’ back with Dani, you understand?” Tyler said to Boone as the five of them walked into the bar together. “I’m not havin’ you get sick in my truck for a second time.”

“Whatever you say, Dad,” Boone said sarcastically. “I’m gonna mark my territory at the pool table– let ‘em know we’re next. Grab me whatever’s on tap, will ya?”

He didn’t even wait for Tyler’s confirmation before darting off, Dani and Dexter on his tail. 

Meanwhile, Tyler and Lilly made their way to the bar to order for everyone else. “Man, he’s full of it today,” he muttered once they reached the counter. 

“Yeah, well. We’re all a little restless,” Lilly admitted. “It’s been a long few weeks without much action. Boone’s kinda like a puppy. Except instead of walks he needs adrenaline rushes and excessive fun. Tonight’ll be good for him.” 

Tyler chuckled as he turned to check where the bartender was at. Except, as soon as he did, his elbow collided with the person beside him. 

“Sorry–” he said quickly, eyes wandering down. 

His words caught in his mouth at the sight of an unfamiliar, but beautiful girl. You were gazing back up at him with equal surprise, mouth hung open slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. 

“That’s okay,” you answered quickly. “I was standin’ too close.” 

“No other way to really do it in here it seems,” he said. 

You smiled sweetly. “I know– it’s never this busy here, even on the weekends.”

“You come here a lot?” he asked, just trying to keep the conversation going. 

“I wouldn’t say a lot, but enough. Any time I have a hankering for some wings.”

Tyler adjusted his body so that he was facing you entirely now. He was boxing Lilly out– but she’d understand. Especially after she got a look at how gorgeous you were. “You know, my buddy said they were good. I didn’t entirely believe him. But if you say so…”

“You’re gonna trust a total stranger over your buddy?” you asked teasingly. 

Tyler tilted his head to the side. “If you met my buddy, you’d understand why. You know we’re all gonna play some pool in a bit if you wanted to–”

“Hey Y/N, there you are!” Tyler heard someone say, cutting him off. He watched as your head snapped around. A man– tall with broad shoulders and black hair, was pushing through the crowd towards you. 

“I gotta go,” you said to Tyler quickly, instantly causing his shoulders to fall. “Have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too,” he grumbled. He turned back towards the bar to avoid seeing you reunite with who he supposed was probably your boyfriend. 

“Don’t sweat it, T,” Lilly said, clapping him on the back. “You’ll get the next one.”

Tyler rolled his eyes, kicking himself for letting himself get his hopes up over a stupid, two minute conversation. 

Once he and Lilly got everyone’s drinks, the pair of them made their way back towards the pool table which Boone had successfully taken over. No time was wasted before Boone was insisting the pair play. 

To Tyler’s absolute dismay– he really did suck. 

He lost three games in a row before finally calling it quits. He opted to sit at a high top table with Dexter, watching Lilly and Boone compete instead. 

Tyler was just about to throw down the last of his beer when suddenly, he felt an arm loop through his.  He turned to tell who he assumed was Dani, that they’d had way too much to drink, but before he could, a voice (that certainly didn't match Dani’s) rang out. 

“Hi baby, there you are!”  

Dexter, who was sitting across from Tyler, glanced at him surprised. 

Tyler looked to his left and locked eyes with the same girl from the bar earlier. Except now, she was gazing at Tyler desperately. Without warning and before Tyler could even react, you leaned closer to him. 

In a hurried whisper, you spoke so that only Tyler could hear. “There’s a guy over there. I keep asking him to, but he won’t leave me alone– can you just pretend to know me so that he’ll go away?”

Then, you press your lips to the side of Tyler’s cheek quickly, like it was a gesture the two of you had shared thousands of times. You continued holding on to his arm, your eyes wildly trying to communicate how terrified you clearly were, as you looked pleadingly at him to help you. 

Tyler’s face broke out into a huge grin as he, with absolutely no hesitation, took on the role of boyfriend for a complete stranger. He wiggled his arm out of your grasp and instead wound it around your waist, pulling you tightly into his side. 

You were taken aback by how secure and safe you suddenly felt. 

“I’ve been looking all over for you,” Tyler replied.  He could visibly see the look of relief that washed over your face once you realized he had decided to play along. 

Tyler tugged at your hip, indicating that he wanted you to lean in closer. You took his hint and tilted your head towards him.  

“Which guy is it?” he asked discreetly. 

“Red shirt, black hair,” you mumbled quietly. It was only then that you notice the other man sharing the table with your rescuer. You offered him an apologetic smile, hoping that he was intuitive enough to pick up on the cues you’d been dropping.  

Next you noticed the rest of his group scattered around the pool table. Initially, they were in the middle of a game when you came over, but now, their attention had shifted. You glanced at the beautiful girl with tanned skin and long, braided hair, holding a pool stick. She offered you a small, but cautious smile. You hoped it wasn’t her boyfriend you were currently draped over.  Then, there’s another guy– with messy black hair topped with an old, worn ball cap. He had a confused look on his face, but when the girl leaned over and whispered something in his ear, his eyes lit up in understanding. 

The man you were clinging to rubbed your hip bone gently with his thumb. The sensation sent sparks across the entire surface of your skin. You wondered if he even realized he was doing it.  

You’d seen him at the bar earlier and had gotten a good, gut feeling about his demeanor. He seemed genuine and kind– even though you���d only managed about a two minute conversation with him before the man who’d been following you around all night came back. It wasn’t until after you darted off that you realized you should have just explained what was going on right then and there. 

You’d realized he was handsome earlier, but this was the first time you’d gotten a good look at him up close, now that your nerves had calmed down and you felt like you were able to breathe again. You wanted to give yourself a pat on the back, because it seemed like you’d chosen the best looking man in the entire bar, if not world, to be your pretend boyfriend. He had distinct features– a strong jaw, tanned skin, and eyes so green, it made you feel like spring was blooming. His brows were furrowed into a firm line as he scoured the bar nonchalantly, looking for the man who had led you to him. You felt grateful that this complete stranger cared enough to help you out.  

“That him?” he asked, nodding in the direction he wanted you to look. 

You turned your head and watched in dismay as the creepy man from earlier approached. 

“Shit– yes.”

“I got ya, don’t worry,” he murmured gently. “Can I help you?” he asked, turning once the man was within earshot. 

He stopped in his tracks, eyes glued to you. “I was jus’ lookin’ for her,” the man said, words slurring together. 

“And what use do you have for my girlfriend?” he challenged, grip around your waist tightening. 

“Sorry man– she didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend.”

“But she did tell you to leave her alone, right?”

“Yeah, jus’ thought she was playin’ hard to get. You know how these girls can be–”

“No, I don’t actually,” Tyler said. “I think if she said leave her alone… you should probably leave her alone.”

The man put his hands up in surrender. “Easy man, I didn’t mean any harm by it. Like I said, I didn’t realize she was taken.”

“I don’t think you’re getting it–” Tyler said, standing up from his chair to face the man. You were surprised by how cold you felt without his hand around your waist. 

“You don’t get to just choose to respect her now that you know she has a boyfriend.” 

“You tryin’ to start something here, man?” The guy narrowed his beady eyes. 

“Why? You offerin?” Tyler took another step forward, anger surging in his chest faster than he anticipated.  

“Might be,” the man said, meeting Tyler halfway. The two were face to face now– things were escalating. 

But before things could get out of hand, the guy from behind the pool table hurried over. “Easy, T–” he placed a hand on his shoulder before facing the guy. “Why don’t you just back off, man? Get outta here.”

“Yeah, c’mon–” two more people from his group stepped forward. Like a small army, you thought. All stepping up to protect you– a total stranger. 

There was a brief moment where the man studied the scene before him. Then, like he realized that taking on the four people defending you was a bad idea, he backed off. 

“Whatever, she’s not worth it anyway,” he said, throwing you one, final nasty glare before turning and stalking off. 

You didn’t realize you’d been holding your breath until you saw him walk out the front door. Only when it snapped shut behind him were you able to exhale a shaky sigh.  

That guy’s been following me all night. I thought I could handle it, but then he got really mad when I wouldn’t let him give me a drink,” you said shakily. 

“What a creep,” one of them said. 

“Thank you so much–” you said, utterly relieved. Then, you introduced yourself to the table of people you’d abruptly intruded upon. 

“Don’t mention it, glad we could help. I’m Tyler.” 

The others had gathered around the table now and each introduced themselves as well. 

“You were right to trust your gut,” Dani said, offering you a reassuring nod. 

“Yeah, who knows what that creep might’ve stuck in your drink.”

You shivered at the thought. 

“Well, I guess I’m glad I crashed your table then,” you smiled, turning to Tyler. For more than one reason, you thought, taking in the sweet laughter lines around his eyes and full lips. You caught yourself staring and forcibly looked away. You weren’t even drunk, but Tyler made your head spin.  

“Anyways, I should go,” you said quickly. You had to remind yourself of the circumstances.  You’d practically mauled Tyler in front of his friends and forced him to get into a brawl in the middle of the bar. And no matter how breathtakingly attractive you found him, there was no denying the fact that this entire situation was awkward and uncomfortable. You cleared your throat. “I’m really sorry for intruding, thank you again.”  

Tyler was still entirely dumbstruck, even as you walked away. It was like his brain couldn’t keep up with whatever the hell just happened. He watched as you disappeared through the crowd of people. 

“Dude, what the hell are you doing?” Dani spoke up.  

“Huh?” Tyler turns towards them. 

“She was into you, Tyler.”

He wasn’t sure he heard them right. The bar was loud and Tyler’s mind wasn’t working properly tonight, thanks to you and whatever perfume you’d been wearing. 

Lilly nodded her head in agreement, “And if I had to guess by the drool on your chin, I’d say you were into her too.” 

Feeling a little ganged up on, Tyler just stares at his team in disbelief. “I don’t– I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Boone shook his head and chuckled as he walked back towards the pool table. “Man, I have never– in our entire ten years of friendship, seen a girl leave Tyler Owens speechless– this one might be special folks,” Boone chuckled. 

“Go after her, you dummy,” Lilly said. 

“And do what?” Tyler asked. 

Dani scoffed, “Talk to her– invite her back to the table– literally anything but let her just walk away, you idiot.”

Slightly offended, but more motivated, Tyler stood up from the table and finally took the last sip of his beer. It was warm, but he used it as a final attempt at some liquid courage, before striding off after you. The crowd of people was thick, but he was confident that no matter where you were, you’d stand out.  

Sure enough, he spotted you across the bar. You had left your glass on the counter and were currently shifting through your bag, looking for something. Tyler took a deep breath before walking over.  

He called your name, which he was proud to now know, causing you to look up from your things.  

“Tyler, hey,” you said, unable to hide the surprised smile that crept across your face.  

“So that was pretty weird, huh–” Tyler tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but all he did was realize how dry his mouth was. 

You bit your lip, “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t mean to make it weird– I just– I was scared. He was so creepy, and you just looked like you’d make a good fake date…” 

Oh my god, what were you saying? You were rambling, like you always did when you were nervous. You took another sip of your drink, wishing it was something stronger. 

But a smirk crept up on Tyler’s face, like he could tell you were floundering. 

“Oh yeah?” His voice was playful. “And how do you think I’d be as a real date?”

Butterflies ran rampant in your stomach as you clenched down on your jaw, trying to play it cool. But it was hard to remain casual when you were pretty sure Tyler was asking you out. 

Your voice was hitched slightly higher than normal when you responded, “I think I’d like to find out sometime.”

Tyler flashed his white teeth in a stunning smile before nodding back towards the table he’d just come from. “How about we start now? I got a hankering for some wings, what do you say I get us a plate to share?”

With no hesitation, you reached for his outstretched hand. 

“Should we eat before or after I kick your ass at pool?” you smiled sweetly. 

[fabricated-misslieness]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: tyler owens x gn reader

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.39k | part 2

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: not communicating and not talking about your feelings (not miscommunication since you don't even communicate)

☾⋆☆⋆☽

There's too many beds.

The one night where you guys don't manage to make it to a motel, there's too many damn beds.

The camper van can fit pretty much all of you at once, not that the seven of you will do that anyway. Dani and Dexter have claim on it, as the drivers, and will probably accept two more comfortably.

In Lilly's van there's the backseat and the floor, but if we're counting, for how many beds there are by technicality, the two front seats as well.

You always have tents and sleeping bags around too, just in case you guys can't drive everyone from any recently unfortunate communities to the nearest hotel (although you'd certainly try). To give a rough estimate, about a dozen tents?

Then there's Tyler's truck, the two front seats and the back seat, and the truck bed. It's a bit short, but it can fit plenty people curled up.

So what to choose?

You should probably stay in a car. Much more heat that way, but who's gonna take you in? The designated drivers obviously prefer their own cars, so... Dexter's campervan is pretty spacious? Then again, so's Lilly's, and to be honest she's more of a vibe than the other two, but also why would you need vibes if you're just sleeping?

Maybe you should start a fire, huddle around that? No, that's a hazard, nevermind the fact you only know how to start a fire in theory.

Let's stick to a car, then. Lilly or Dex & Dan for space... Lilly, sure, why not?

As you start heading over to Lilly's van, you hear a sharp whistle. You don't have time to wonder who it's from, as Tyler spins you around.

"You're coming with me." He proclaims, taking you by the shoulders, and you can only laugh.

"Why me?"

Tyler grins, walking you unceremoniously towards his truck bed. "Because you're you, dove." That alone sounds rather intimate, so he fixes his mistake quickly. You're just friends, after all. "And Boone kicks people in his sleep, Lilly's hair gets everywhere, Dani steals the blankets, Dexter snores, and Ben...it's pitiful how he squeezes himself into the corner whenever he's sleeping next to someone, so we always give him his own space."

Right, all good points you'd forgotten.

"So why exactly am I better?" You tease, stopping in your tracks so Tyler bumps into your back and stay close.

"You're warm." And at first it seems like that's the only thing he'll say, your only benefit, as he pauses; but then the rest comes spilling out like a toad strangler. "You're also soft, you don't steal the blanket, you don't complain when I suddenly start talking and you don't snore."

Tyler doesn't mention that the two of you cuddle when you bunk together, and that you bunk together often. He doesn't mention how tonight he'll let you cuddle up on his chest, or perhaps how he'll press his nose against yours and let you play with his hair, because simply mentioning it will mean you'll have to talk about it.

You don't want to talk about, you think; and neither does he. You don't want to talk about how there's something different with the way he slings his arm around your shoulder, or the way you knock your head against his, or how he always gives out your share of whatever (pizza, cookies, etc.) before anyone else, or how you always offer your help to him no matter what.

They're always easy things to ignore, his skinship is not conditional and neither is your kindness, but there's something about the way you look into his eyes when you say thank you, and something about the way his touch lingers.

You don't want to put your finger on it, at least not this season. You'll say it again the next season, and the next, but you ignore that.

"So then I'm your favorite person?" You turn around and bonk your fist against his chest.

He whistles again, drawn-out like he does in awkward moments, but you know it's only playful. "Don't push your luck, dove. You're like... top 5!"

"Top 5? Aww," You feign offense, plopping your hand over your own chest now, "I didn't make it to top 3?"

He splays out his hand and begins to count on his fingers. "There's my mom, then my dad, then the family dog, Liam from the rodeo, and then you."

"The family dog?" Your eyebrows furrow, and the acting seems a bit too real until the look on your face gives away to a memory of his dog giving you kisses. "Oh, yeah, okay. I get it."

"See? You get it." Tyler chuckles, spins you back around and keeps on walking.

The spot you guys picked today is drier than the last, which is something you're thankful for. It's quite far from any town, but the streetlights that adorn the far off road make you feel a bit safer that civilization is just around the corner. There's a light breeze, not too cold and not too fast, and the stars! Oh, the stars.

They're damn nice out here cause they're actually visible tonight, a little less light pollution, you think. It's certainly a lot brighter than, say, NYC or Washington.

"Ain't they pretty today?" Tyler comments, his hands on your shoulders squeezing.

"Yeah. Sparkly too. You know any constellations?"

"No," He hums, his voice holding a bit of lament. "I tried, once. I tried taking a class in college. Astrology."

"How'd that go?" You ask offhandedly, hopping onto the bed of the truck.

"Ended up being too stressed with my main curriculum and dropped the class before it got too far." He fixes a tarp over the top of the truck bed, over the exoskeleton, so not much light will shine over your eyes when you try to sleep.

"The smart Tyler Owens got too stressed?" You ask as you help him up.

"Being smart doesn't mean I have good time management." Tyler says as he sits next to you, and you shrug. Suppose he's right.

"Still pretty though." You hum, leaning your head against his shoulder as you look up.

"Yeah." He agrees. His arm comes to wrap around you naturally, running up and down your side. "Have you ever tried to come up with constellations with... I don't know, whoever you were looking at the sky with?"

"You know what? I don't think so." You raise a finger, tracing a path in the stars for a moment, trying to find something interesting.

He finds one before you, pointing at a group of stars in a weird glob shape. "There, a cloud!"

That alone gets you to let out an ugly, surprised laugh; despite how ugly you might've thought it to be, he thinks it's cute. "You trynna cloudgaze with stars, cowboy?"

"Shut up." He laughs, knocking his head against yours. "You try, genius."

After a couple seconds, you point out a distinct...cone shape in the sky. "Unicorn horn."

"Unicorn horn?"

"What am I supposed to say, cone?"

"You could've said ice cream cone, a little more age appropriate, you know?" He holds out his hand, holding out a small gap between his index and thumb fingers to accentuate little.

"Yeah, well it has no ice cream, dumbass."

"Woah," Tyler withdraws, raising his hands in surrender. "no need to get so defensive, dove."

You slap his hands only to draw them back around you. He has no complaints about that. "Clearly we both suck at this. Let's just admire the stars normally."

He huffs out a laugh but turns his gaze back to the night sky without complaint. It's rather peaceful, this moment, and so nice. Maybe it's not rare that you get comfortably quiet moments with him, nor is it ever rare for Tyler to hold you close like this, but it doesn't make it any less endearing.

"Look!" Tyler breaks the silence suddenly, finger tracing a path in the stars. "A heart."

"You're kidding." You huff out. He's just playing with you, he has to be, especially after your miserable attempts at finding shapes in the sky.

Despite yourself, your eyes will the stars above you into the shape of a heart. Goddamnit, you think, because it's definitely a sign.

"I'm going to sleep." You tear yourself away from his grip and he laughs and tries to steal you back to him, but you fight briefly and end up winning. It's a nice victory, especially because you won over him, but it's not on par with actually finding something in the sky (and you're avoiding the sign).

Tyler chases after you, flopping down beside you. The tarp above casts darkness over the back of the truck bed, but a soft glow still shines through.

You sigh and tuck a hair of Tyler's behind his ear, to which he only laughs. "Jealous, much?"

"Oh, totally." You'd roll your eyes, but they're stuck on his.

"I won." He's triumphant, but you can only focus on how pretty his smile looks.

"You did." You reply, not fighting him on it, and slowly his amusement fades away with the deflation of his body.

"You're not making this fun." Tyler steals your hand, presses the back of it to his lips and notably does not pucker up and kiss. It might be payback, or it might be avoiding the obvious intimacy that kissing you is.

"It wasn't a competition, anyway." You remind him, and he rolls his eyes.

His attitude eventually exudes out of him with a sigh, and he lets go of your hand to push closer. His head rests below your chin, his nose against your neck, and it's not new, but it's not old either.

"I'm sick n' tired of you." He huffs against your neck as you take the opportunity to tuck the both of you in.

You hold back a laugh. "Oh, yeah? Tell me why."

His voice is muffled against your neck, and maybe the vibrations tickle, but you don't dare move away. "I won! We should be celebrating that."

"Celebrate it in your dreams." Despite it being practically the same thing as in your dreams, it actually sounds quite genuine.

"Don't be like that," Tyler whines. "let me stay up for a little while."

You put your hand in his hair, then, twirling strands around your fingers and scratching his scalp, and Tyler hates you and also loves you, because it feels so good that it pulls a groan out of him, but it's lulling him to sleep.

"You're cheating." He whines again. He's being rather childish, huh?

"It's way past your bedtime." You say in a sing-songy way. Curiosity takes over, and you pull his head away from you gently to look into his eyes.

They open once you pull him off you, just barely. Half-lidded, not by lust, but by sleep. "I just wanna hold you for a little while longer." He says, and you don't know how he does it, but his eyes have turned pleading.

"That's on you to try, cowboy." You huddle close again, allowing him to take up the same position as before.

Despite himself, Tyler sighs contently, wrapping his arms around your midriff. One of your hands is on his back, rubbing slow circles, and the other is back on his hair.

He's definitely not going to last long now.

"When's the last time you've ridden a horse?" Tyler babbles on to try to keep awake, but you can hear the sleepy lilt in his voice. "I think my last time was when I last visited home, before the season started."

"One sheep over the fence, two sheep over the fence–"

"Shuddup."

You laugh, hands smoothing over his hair again. You're not sure how you're not very sleepy right now, tucked under the blankets, in his warm hold. Maybe it's the subconscious thought of not accidentally hitting your head on the spare wheel above you, or the faraway feel of the ridges of the truck bed below you.

Or maybe it's wanting to tease him.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

You've kissed before, little playful things: cheek kisses for the camera, neck kisses to either scare you or tickle you, forehead kisses after particularly dangerous scares, hand kisses when he's trying to act all gentlemanly, temple kisses after hugs. You've never kissed him on the lips before, and actually, neither of you have ever explicitly asked for a kiss. They've always been given without question.

"Please?" He asks again, pulling back so that his forehead is off your neck.

Oh, he only wanted a forehead kiss.

You oblige happily, press your lips against his forehead and let out and exaggerated muah!

"No, not there." He pulls away almost entirely, scooting up to be face to face.

You'd laugh, if what he was asking you for wasn't a kiss on the lips. You can't lie, you've thought about it before, when the sun shines a particular way over his face at sunset, or when he's considerably too hot to ignore.

...you're going to have to talk about this tomorrow.

Except tomorrow is not today yet, and so you cup his cheek. You debate it for a moment, a yes or a no, but there's one answer clear in your mind, a yes.

You press your lips against his, and it's more subtle than that forehead kiss, and it feels so much more tangible, in a way. His lips move against yours, a languid thing, a soft thing.

You wonder if he's going to remember this tomorrow, if being as sleepy as this is equivalent to being drunk.

"Thank you." Tyler says as you part, and he settles back where he was, head against your neck. He seems satisfied now, willing to nod off.

"Don't mention it." You say automatically.

Okay you're definitely going to have to talk about this tomorrow. For now, though, you'll just hold him. It's a strange thing to say, but he's always been rather nice to hold, a big man to fill your entire hug, even if he does make your heartbeat spike.

"Goodnight." He says.

"Sweet dreams." You reply.

There's nothing else to think about but the feeling of him in your arms and the warmth of his body as your eyes draw closed.

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

I Don't Understand You

Fandom: Twisters, Tyler Owens, f!reader Summary: Although your lives are very different, you and Tyler have been happily together for years. However, when a new girl arrives, Tyler can't seem to focus on anything else. This Kate seems to understand him in a way you never could and you start to wonder if loving someone really means letting them go... Word Count: 4386 TW: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Breakup, Makeup, Tears Notes: Huge thanks to @blue-aconite and @green-socks for beta reading this for me💕 SPOILERS FOR TWISTERS

Divider created by me (please ask/credit before using)

You noticed the change in him the moment they met.

Usually, you weren’t involved in Tyler’s chases but for some reason that day, you decided to meet the crew at a diner for lunch between storms. You had to fight your way through the crowd of adoring fans hovering around his truck before being able to greet him with a big kiss and warm embrace. As always, he kissed you back before slinging his arm over your shoulder. But as the two of you began walking towards the diner door, chatting about what he had gotten up to that morning, he trailed off, his attention now fully on the crew huddled around the Strom Par trucks. 

You didn’t know any of those guys by name but had been around enough to recognize their faces—all but one. There was a new girl with them who was studying a tablet and glancing up at the darkening sky. She was pretty, but you didn’t see anything particularly notable about her. You turned to ask Tyler who she was, but before you could, he strolled off in that direction without a word leaving you standing with your hand on the door to the diner unsure what you were supposed to do.

Part of you thought you should go inside and order both of you lunch so it would be waiting when he came back, but there was something in Tyler’s posture as he stood next to this girl that was setting off alarm bells in your head. They were across the parking lot with their backs mostly to you so you couldn’t make out anything they were saying, but after knowing Tyler for six years and dating him for four, you had gotten rather good at reading his body language. And right now, the pronounced jut of his hips, the upturned tilt of his head, and that certain smile you could just get a glimpse of when he turned the right way all told you the same thing. He liked this girl—a lot.

You watched them for another moment or two until Lily, Dani, and Boone came barrelling out of the diner, almost knocking you over. By the time you all untangled yourselves and you looked back over to where Tyler and the girl had been standing, she was walking back towards the Storm Par team. But Tyler…Tyler’s eyes were locked on her. He nodded slightly as an impressed grin spread across half of his face. He stared after her for another beat before the grin dropped and he straightened, his eyes scanning the lot until he saw you standing by the diner, looking back at him. Quickly slipping his sunglasses back on his face, he jogged to your side. 

Just before he reached you, he shot one quick look over his shoulder at the Storm Par team. Whatever the girl had said to them had caused them to pack up all their equipment and climb into their vehicles. Tyler jerked his head at Lily, Dani, and Boone who were still standing near you, then he placed his hands on your shoulders.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to do lunch, but we gotta go. Storm’s moving in faster than we thought and it looks like it's gonna be a good one.” He rubbed his hands up and down your arms. “Just meet you back at the motel tonight? Dex was gonna grill up some steaks for everyone.”

“Yeah,” you said, not looking at his face. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Hey.” He used his finger to tilt your chin up to look at him. “Everything alright?”

You sighed, staring into his sunglasses. “Yes, Tyler. Just go before you miss your window. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay…tonight.” He squeezed your arms one last time and pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head before heading to where his crew was already packing up.

When he was about halfway across the parking lot, the group of Storm Par vehicles pulled out in front of him. As the truck the girl was in passed by, you saw that same smile return to his face and you turned away, a queasy feeling building in your stomach.

That night at the motel, all Tyler could talk about was this girl—Kate—and how she had perfectly predicted the storm. Everyone else out there had assumed the system forming to the east was the one to chase, yet Tyler and Kate had been the only ones to correctly identify that the cap wouldn’t break and the one to the west was the better option. 

The sick feeling deep in your stomach that had been growing since Tyler began talking about her only got worse when Kate walked by the Wranglers on the way to her room. Tyler introduced the two of you—she was polite but seemed surprised when Tyler referred to you as his girlfriend. You just nodded back before taking a long drag on your beer. Seeing the way Tyler had looked at her was bad enough, but hearing him tease her and listening to him call her by a little nickname all while that spark burned in his eyes was a thousand times worse. And on top of it all, you could see past his bravado—he genuinely respected this girl and thought she was special. It was too much to take and, shortly after she left, you excused yourself and went to your room. When Tyler came up an hour or two later, you pretended to be asleep so you wouldn’t have to talk.

Originally, you had planned on heading back to your shared apartment in the morning, but as uncomfortable as you were feeling about the situation, you didn’t feel like leaving Tyler alone with Kate. You felt terrible even thinking like that because you knew Tyler loved you and would never do anything to hurt you, but you couldn’t forget the way he looked at her. So, you rode out with Dani and Dexter on that day’s chase and jumped in to help when the crew arrived in what was left of Crystal Springs after the storm went through.

While the rest of the crew began handing out food and water to those who had just lost everything, a woman came over to where you, Tyler, and Boone were sorting through some rubble. She was dirty and crying, tears leaving muddy streaks down her face as she explained that they couldn’t find their family dog and, as her kids had already lost so much, was there any way you could help her find him. You were all more than willing to help and immediately began looking for the little guy. 

After a while, you began drifting away from where Tyler and Boone were looking. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the Storm Par trucks pull up but you tried to ignore them. Scott and Javi were probably just here to try to talk these poor people into selling what little they had left to that slimeball Riggs for a fraction of what it was worth. How could Tyler seriously be drawn to this new girl if she was helping Storm Par do this to people? It went against everything Tyler stood for. This thought stuck in your head and you began to wonder if maybe you had let your insecurities get the best of you and had blown this whole Kate situation out of proportion.

Suddenly, you heard a small whimper off to your left. Slowly and carefully, you shifted a few pieces of concrete and wood until you saw a tiny pair of eyes staring back at you from the shadows. Bending down, you called out to him, and the cutest little tan-and-white terrier poked his head out with a small bark. After sniffing in your direction for a moment, he slunk forward until he was right in front of you and you slowly reached out. When he didn’t retreat, you placed your hand gently on his head and stroked his fur. He was trembling and wet but otherwise seemed unharmed.

“Hey there, buddy! I'm so glad we found you all safe and sound.” You gathered the small dog into your arms. Rubbing under his chin and giving him a reassuring coo, you turned around and called out, “Ty! Look who I fou—”

The smile faded from your face as you spotted Kate speaking with Tyler and Boone. Even being this far away, even with Tyler getting heated about whatever they were talking about, even as Tyler turned to storm away, you could see that you hadn’t been jumping to conclusions after all. You could practically see the tension crackling in the air between them and it was the final straw. As much as every fiber of your being was screaming at you not to, you knew what you needed to do.

Walking over to where the guys were still searching, you placed the dog into Boone’s arms before grabbing Tyler’s hand and leading him away from everyone else. “We need to talk.”

“Uh oh. Am I in trouble?” he asked, chuckling slightly. But the moment you pulled him behind the rubble of one of the houses and faced him, his smile evaporated. Squeezing your hand tighter, he asked, “Wait. Is something actually wrong?”

Letting go of his hand, you took a few steps away from him as you slowly exhaled. Then you asked, “Tell me one thing about what I do at my job. Not my title, but what I do.”

Tyler stared at you as if you had just grown another head. “Sweetheart, what is this—”

“Just answer the question.”

He ran his hand through his hair as he pondered the question. “You’re in finance and you work…with money…”

“Doing what with money?”

“....I don’t know.”

“I know you don’t and we’ve always joked about it and I thought it was okay. After all, I don’t really get what you do either—I never have. I mean, I know what you literally do, but how you feel about it or why you get such joy from it?” You shake your head, staring at the ground. “I’ve tried to be as supportive as I could be the last four years and let you go out there without saying a word, despite how dangerous it is, but I still don’t get it…She does.”

“She who?”

“Kate.”

“Wait a minute–” Tyler held up his hands and took a step closer to you but you cut him off.

“Tyler, you’ve been different ever since she showed up. She’s all you talk about and you’ve been going out of your way to impress her or show her how much better you are than Storm Par.”

“You know I get a little competitive especially when it comes to those assholes. They look down on my crew because they don’t have degrees or schooling or whatever and I sometimes get lost in trying to show them we are just as good as they are without all that stuff. So maybe I was going a little overboard trying to show Kate that before Storm Par turned her against us. But you know it’s all just big talk.”

“I know and I’ve tried to tell myself that. But it’s not just what you say to her, it’s how you are whenever she’s around. You stand differently, smile differently. You…you…” You blinked several times as you tried to hold back the tears that were forming in your eyes.

“I what?”

Taking another deep breath, you said, “Ty…the way you look at her is how you used to look at me.”

That shut him up. Whatever argument he was forming in his head was no longer valid and he knew it. 

Placing your hand over his heart, you said as your voice trembled slightly, “Admit it. We’ve been off for a while now. It sort of feels like we’ve just been going through the motions. We used to talk about the future: a house, marriage, a dog, maybe kids. But I can’t even remember the last time either of us mentioned anything like that.” Your eyes dropped to the ground, unable to look into his eyes as you said this next part. “Maybe…maybe we just need to take some time apart. Maybe there’s something better out there for both of us and we’re just holding each other back.”

Tyler placed his hand over where yours still rested on his chest. “There’s no one better than you.”

“Are you sure you still feel that way?” Tyler started to respond but you added, “Even after meeting Kate?”

He hesitated and that was all you needed to hear. 

Cupping his cheek with your free hand, you found the strength to look up at him as you said, “I love you. But I don’t understand you—not the way she does. And I honestly don’t think I ever will. So you need to explore this and see if there’s something there that I couldn’t give you.” You laughed, tears streaming down your cheeks. “And who knows? Maybe while you and Kate are getting your happily ever after, I’ll meet someone who understands what I do at work with money.”

Tyler squeezed his eyes shut, leaning into your touch as he whispered, “I don’t want you to go.”

“And I don’t want to go. But I have to. For both of us.” Pulling his face down towards yours, you lightly kissed his lips. Then, after pulling back, you rested your forehead against his. “Please…really give this a try. All I want for you is to be happy. Whether that’s with me, Kate, or someone else. And who knows? Maybe we’ll find our way back to each other one day. But until then, if you feel it…” 

Your hands slipped from where they rested on him as you pivoted quickly and rushed away. You wanted him to come after you. To come running up behind you, sweep you into his arms, and say he was chasing what he felt and that this had all been a mistake. But he didn’t. 

Finding a police officer climbing into his car, you asked for a lift back to the motel where you had left your car. As you were climbing in, you glanced back at where you had left Tyler. But he wasn’t staring back. Instead, his attention was fully on one of the Storm Par trucks that was pulling out and you just managed to catch a glimpse of the driver’s blonde ponytail. 

What was left of your heart shattered.

The next few days were some of the worst of your life. You tried to carry on with your normal schedule and stay busy to keep your mind off of everything, but it was nearly impossible, especially considering you were still living in the apartment you shared with Tyler when it wasn’t storm season. His presence lingered in every inch of the space and you wondered how long you should wait before trying to find a new place to stay. He would still be gone for another month or so but living here knowing he was nothing more than a roommate at this point nearly brought you to tears every time you thought about it. 

But even worse were the constant scenarios that played through your head about what he and Kate were doing at any given moment. You had told him to explore things with her and really see if there was a connection there, yet now thinking about him acting on anything made that queasy feeling in your stomach return worse than ever. One time you actually did get sick when you imagined Tyler showing up at the apartment asking you to leave so Kate could move it. You knew he would never be that cruel, but it didn’t stop your brain from asking what if.

Sometimes you wondered if you made a mistake. You had brought up your job and the fact Tyler didn’t know what you did as a reason he didn’t understand you, but that wasn’t the real issue (and to be fair, your job was pretty nuanced and even your parents could never remember exactly what you did). Deep down you had known for a while things were stalling out between the two of you. The love was still there but you had fallen into a rut, just going through the same routines without really putting much thought or effort into anything. Maybe Kate’s arrival was just the wake-up call you needed to face the truth. But maybe instead of pushing Tyler into another woman’s arms, you should have used this realization as fuel to work on getting the two of you back to where you were when you first started dating. 

Maybe you just threw away the love of your life because you hadn’t tried putting the work into the relationship…

A few days after leaving Oklahoma, you were cleaning the kitchen after making dinner when you heard a frantic pounding on your door. Someone from work had mentioned possibly dropping off some paperwork later, but this sounded much too urgent a knock to be them.

Walking over to the door, you pressed against it and called, “Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

Your heart froze in your chest. It was still the middle of storm season. You hadn’t prepared yourself to face Tyler until then at least. Could he really be here to ask you to move out after all?

Cracking the door slightly to peer out, you gasped and let it swing open the rest of the way as you saw him leaning heavily on the door frame. His jeans and favorite dark burgundy shirt were filthy and ripped in several places. It looked like he had what was once mud—now dried, cracked, and flaking off—caked into his hair, skin, and clothes. But it was the way he was favoring his left leg, keeping as much weight off of it as possible, that really caught your attention. 

“What the hell happened to you? Are you okay?” You grabbed his arm and slung it over your shoulder, helping him hobble into the apartment.  

You tried to get him to sit on the couch, but he waved you off, opting to lean against the kitchen counter instead. Thinking he might want something to drink, you started to walk towards the fridge, however he grabbed your hand and pulled you into his arms. He reeked of sweat, oil, and smoke, and you tried to squirm out of his grasp but he stopped you, running his hand down the side of your face. 

Trying to stay strong and not to melt into his embrace, you whispered, “What are you doing?”

But he just pulled you closer, his green eyes shining with something you recognized but hadn’t seen in a long time. “It’s you. It was always you and will always be you. And I should have known that from the beginning.”

Sighing, you pushed against his chest again. “Ty, I said we needed to take a step back and explore other relationships.”

“I did.”

Even though that was what you were telling him to do, it stung to hear but you pushed past it. “It’s been less than a week. That doesn’t count.”

“It could have been a year and it wouldn’t make a difference. Yeah, Kate and I share something because of our connections with the storms, and I had never met someone else who looks at them like I do so I was intrigued by her. But she’s not what I want and I’m sorry if I made you think she was. But I know now without a doubt what I want and that’s you.”

The certainty in his voice made you weak in the knees but you couldn’t understand what could have changed so completely in such a short amount of time. Studying his face, you asked, “What happened out there?”

“I just walked away from an EF5, even though I shouldn’t have. We were trying to help get people somewhere safe to hide before the storm hit when my leg got pinned under some debris—” you gasped “—I’m fine, I promise. Kate and Javi got me out and it’s just a little sore now. But then Kate took my truck and went out into the storm alone leaving Javi and me to help the rest of the crew keep everyone safe. The only place we could go was the movie theater and it wasn’t made to be a shelter. It started to come apart in minutes and people were getting sucked out. Then Lily lost her grip—”

“No! Tyler–”

“I was able to grab her but it was like playing tug of war with Mother Nature. I was holding onto her with both hands and the only thing keeping both of us from flying away was the toe of my boot wrapped around the leg of one of the theater seats. That moment was the first time in a really long time that I thought this might be it. That I wasn’t making it out of this storm alive. But just when it seemed like I couldn’t hold on any longer, I thought about you—and only you. I thought about the way you smile and boop my nose with whipped cream every single time we split a piece of pie. I thought about your absolutely horrible attempt at singing while you take a shower. I thought about that little sound you make when you’re sleeping curled against me. But most of all, I thought about the way we left things and I refused to let that be the last conversation we ever had. So, I held on until Kate was able to break up the storm.”

You had been falling in love with Tyler all over again at his confession, but that last sentence threw you for a loop. “Wait, she did what?”

He shook his head. “It’s a long story. I’ll explain later. But the point is, I came straight here as soon as I made sure everyone was okay because I had to fix things between us. And because I needed to do what I should have done a long time ago.”

Letting you go, Tyler reached into his pocket as—wincing—he lowered himself onto his injured leg. Your eyes grew wide as you realized what he was about to do. However, before he could pull his hand out of his pocket, you dropped down beside him, placing your hands on his to stop him.

“Ty, are you sure?” you asked, voice trembling. “I don’t want you to do this because you almost died or you think you have to—”

Tyler smiled, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “No. Baby, I’ve realized that when you love something, you’ll spend your whole life trying to understand it. So while we might not understand everything about each other right now, I’d like to spend the rest of my life by your side trying to figure it out. Because I love you more than anything else in the world and would be honored if you’d let me spend every day proving that to you—” he moved your hands aside and pulled out a box from his pocket “—as my wife.”

He popped open the lid and you gasped. The diamond ring inside was as gorgeous as it was huge. You had seen smaller rings on A-list celebrities and knew there was no way in hell either you or Tyler could afford something like this, even if you combined your savings.

Mouth still gaping, you choked out, “Where the hell did you get that?”

Tyler smiled. “There was a jewelry shop down the street from the theater that was still standing. When I went by, the owner was out front inspecting the damage. Turns out, I had helped his wife and kids get to safety so he opened up the store and gave me a pretty good deal on it.” 

“Still, you didn’t need to do this.” You reached up and brushed his hair off his face where it had been plastered down by sweat and dirt. “You know all I’ve ever wanted was you. You could have given me a rubber band and I still would have been the happiest girl in the world.”

“Should I take it back then?” He started to close the ring box, but you stopped him.

“Well, don’t be so hasty! I mean, since you already have it…”

“Does this mean you’re saying yes?” There was just the slightest edge of fear in his voice as if he honestly thought you might have a different answer. 

But you nodded, holding out your hand. “Yes. As long as you are absolutely sure this is what you want, then of course I’m saying yes.”

Tyler’s smile doubled in size as he took the ring out of the box and slid it on your finger. Even noting how big it was, the weight of it momentarily surprised you. The diamonds sparkled and shined in the lights of the kitchen and you wondered if you would ever get tired of staring at it. 

Once it was securely in place, Tyler wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and pulled you into his lips. The kiss had a fire and desire to it you hadn’t felt in what seemed like years, and you silently vowed to never let your passion for each other smolder again. 

As the heat of the kiss began to burn even brighter, you felt Tyler’s fingers fiddling with the buttons of your blouse. With a soft moan, you turned your head, breaking the kiss but leaving your face pressed against his. “Ty, please don’t be offended by this, but do you think before we go any further, we could move this celebration to the shower? You smell really bad.”

He chuckled, his hands still skimming over the front of your blouse. “I’ll go wherever you want me to, as long as we are together.” 

You smiled back and placed a quick kiss on his lips. “Forever.” 

Then you helped ease him off the floor before leading him into the bathroom, both of your shirts and pants already on the floor before you reached it. 

[ghostofskywalker]

Life Day Wishes

Hunter/Fem!Reader

Words: 4,478

Summary: [Modern/Neighbors AU] You had long since become a true member of Hunter's family, even if it took him over five years to actually admit to you how he feels.

Prompts: gift exchange || "i hope you know how much i love you" (which was slightly modified to fit the fic - i hope that's okay!)

Note: this is one of my contributions to the @cloneficgiftexchange life day exchange, which i ran! i was so excited to receive @captainpains as my giftee, and i wanted to write something silly, fluffy, and fun for you :) hope you enjoy!

Clone Troopers Masterlist

Holiday advertisements were playing on practically every channel as you flipped through the stations on the TV, different snippets of Life Day music being cut short with each press of the remote. It’s not that you were tired of the holidays or that you disliked them, but right now everything was a constant reminder of the fact that you wouldn’t have anyone to spend them with this year. Your sister and her family would be spending the holidays at a soccer tournament for your nephew, so you didn’t really envy her, but it still meant that you would be spending Life Day completely alone for the first time. 

An infomercial for a fancy kind of chiller was lighting up the screen as you turned back to check on Omega. Hunched over the kitchen table with homework spread out in front of you, she was hard at work. You worked at the school she attended (though you didn’t usually see her at all during the day), so you drove her home in the afternoons and made sure she didn’t accidentally set the house on fire until her dad got home from work. 

“You almost done over there?” you asked, a smile on your face. This evening, Hunter had told you that he would be home a little later than usual, so you had a small surprise for Omega. 

“Just two more math problems!” she called back, still focused intently on the papers in front of her. “I already did my social studies homework.” 

You hummed in response as you turned your attention back to the TV, not wanting to bother her while she was still working. Despite the fact that it was a Friday and she technically didn’t have to finish everything, you had heard stories in the past of forgotten projects and her rushing to get everything done before bed on Sunday night, which you weren’t looking to facilitate. 

A few moments later though, you were getting up from Hunter’s (incredibly comfortable) armchair and pulling a folder out of your bag. “Since it’s gonna be us this evening, I thought we could order a pizza and then make some Life Day cookies,” you said, watching Omega’s face light up at the idea. 

“Yes!” Omega said, running over and throwing her arms around you as you pulled out a cookie recipe. “Can we get the tooka shaped pizza from Dex’s?” 

“Of course!” You said, returning her hug. You knew that Hunter tried his best to be there for her, but the fact that he was a single dad certainly made things a little more difficult. He had confided in you that he picked up some overtime to make sure he could get the best Life Day gifts for Omega, but she didn’t know that, and you could tell she was probably feeling a little sad that she didn’t see him as much.

A little while later, after the two of you were done tearing into your adorably shaped dinner, ingredients for cookies were being removed from cabinets as you asked Omega about her plans for Life Day. 

“My uncles are going to come over and we’ll have a big dinner,” she said. “I think next weekend my dad and I are going to put up the decorations.” 

“That’s great,” you said. “Do you know what you’re going to get your dad and uncles yet?” 

Omega shook her head. “I don’t, and I don’t think the holiday market at school will have things they’d want.” 

You laughed; she was certainly right about that statement. The school holiday market, which was great for getting kids used to handling money and making a budget based on how many people they had to buy gifts for, was not the best place to look for meaningful presents. “I’m sure your dad and uncles would appreciate anything, as long as it came from you.” 

You weren’t lying about that. Living next door to Hunter and Omega for the past five years meant that you were also close with her uncles and even some of her extended family, and many a summer night had been spent sitting around the fire pit in their backyard, drinking with Hunter and his brothers as Omega hung out with her friends on the swingset. You knew for a fact that even if she handed them a pile of painted bantha shit, Tech, Wrecker, Echo, and even Crosshair would smile and pretend she had gifted them a priceless artifact. 

“I know,” she said, placing her measuring cup in the container of sugar and starting to scoop out what the recipe required. “But I still want to get them something nice.” 

“Why don’t you ask your dad to take you out shopping?” you asked. “He’s spent enough time with his brothers to help you pick something out.” 

Omega nodded. “That’s a good idea.” 

“And if you want, I can help you out when it comes to shopping for your dad,” you said. “I don’t even know what I’m going to get him anyway.” 

Your statement was not one you considered to be scandalous or abnormal, but Omega stopped what she was doing to stare incredulously in your direction. “Why are you getting my dad a gift?” 

The real answer was considerably more complicated, but you didn’t dare get into that with a middle schooler as you stood in the center of her kitchen. “Because we’re friends,” you said. “I got him and your uncles something last year, why would this year be any different?” 

“Oh,” was Omega’s response, and the way she latched onto your words certainly struck you as odd. There was no way she picked up on your feelings for her father, you had done so well hiding them from everyone (yourself included, since you didn’t even realize you liked Hunter until a little over a year ago). “I forgot how long we’ve known you.” 

“That’s okay, sometimes I do the same thing,” you said, a smile on your face. “You can make it up to me by telling me what your dad might want for Life Day though.” 

The young girl paused before speaking. “There is this caf machine he’s been looking at,” she said. “But I think it’s pretty expensive.” 

You nodded as Omega tried to remember the name of the machine, but it just wasn’t coming to her. “Don’t worry about it,” you said. “If he talks about it again, let me know and we can look for it when we go shopping. If you still want to go shopping with me of course.” Omega nodded brightly, and the conversation trailed off as things began to require your full attention. 

Hunter walked in the door about an hour later, and the house was alight with laughter as the two of you rolled out cookies and dipped them in sprinkles and sugar before placing them on baking sheets. The moment she noticed her dad, Omega dropped her rolling pin and ran over to tackle him in a hug, effectively covering him in flour as it transferred from her clothes. 

“Hey Megs!” Hunter said, happily returning his daughter’s powdery hug. “Having fun?” 

“We’re making cookies!”

“I can tell,” he said, gaze meeting yours as he surveyed his (now very messy) kitchen. 

“We’re almost done,” you said warmly, holding up the last dough ball that has yet to be shaped. “Do you want to do the honors?” 

 Hunter nodded, walking over to you (after a quick detour to the sink, where Omega made him wash his hands) and taking the rolling pin from where it had been discarded before, and with a little bit of help, the last cookie took shape. 

Once the kitchen had been cleaned and the cookies lay cooling, it was just you and Hunter. “Thank you for doing this with her,” he said sincerely. “I know she can tell I’ve been gone longer than usual.” 

You nodded. “She doesn’t blame you, but I think she worries.” 

“I know,” Hunter sighed. “Maker, I wish things were easier.”

“You’re definitely not alone with that sentiment.” 

“I have the week after Life Day off, I think I’m going to see if she wants to do anything special.”

“That’s a good idea,” you said. “I know things get busy as you’re planning everything for the holiday.” 

Hunter nodded. “Yeah. At least you only host half the time.” 

“And this year I don’t have to do anything,” you said, continuing when Hunter shot you a quizzical look. “My sister and her family are going to a soccer tournament over break, so I’ll have the day to myself.” 

“You should come over here,” was his immediate response, followed by a rushed “only if you want to.” 

“Please, you know I enjoy spending time with your family,” you laughed. “I don’t want to be any trouble though, if things are already planned.” 

Now it was his turn to scoff. “You could never be a bother,” he said. “I promise.” 

“Then I’ll be there,” you said. 

The smile he gave you in response nearly stopped your heart right then and there. Now your gift for him definitely had to be perfect. 

***

The rotations until Life Day were slipping away faster than Hunter could have ever expected, and it still felt like he hadn’t even started preparing. There was still so much to shop for, plan for, and don’t even get him started on the pile of gifts for his daughter slowly accumulating in the trunk of his car and the back of his closet (that would all need to be wrapped when she wasn’t around to peek at them). 

It was something of a relief when you offered to take Omega shopping for Life Day presents one weekend, because that meant he could recruit his brothers to help out in other ways and he didn’t have to worry about Omega walking in and seeing any of her gifts.

Tech and Crosshair were in charge of gift wrapping, and they operated like a well-oiled machine as they sat on the floor in the living room, tinsel, bows and patterned rolls of paper spread all within arm’s reach. The mountain of presents had been pulled from their hiding places, and it appears that Hunter may have gone a little overboard this year when shopping for Omega. 

Echo and Wrecker were in charge of the menu and the grocery list for Life Day dinner, and Hunter could hear the playful bickering between the two as they squabbled over how many side dishes they should have and whether or not three dessert options was too much (Wrecker believed there should be at least five options, a sentiment Hunter did not disagree with, if he was being honest). 

His job out of all this was looking at the gifts already purchased and making a list of people he still needed to shop for, along with making sure the gifts they had for Omega’s teachers were done. Omega would (hopefully) be returning from her outing today with presents purchased for all her uncles, but that still meant Hunter had to buy something for them, as well as for a few other friends. He had just finished the list of people he would need to shop for when he heard Crosshair’s voice over his shoulder. 

“I expected that we’d be low on the list of priorities, but your girlfriend? That’s just mean.” 

Hunter, his mind still running through a list of all the people he knew in an effort to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anyone, looked up at him with confusion. “What are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend.” 

Crosshair raised his eyebrows, and everyone else in the house stopped what they were doing to stare at Hunter, because they knew exactly where this conversation was heading. “Really? Where’s your kid right now?” 

“She’s with-” Hunter started to respond before catching on to his brother’s implication. “How many times do I have to tell you that we’re not together?” 

“You could be, if you just asked her out already. Honestly, if you keep at this pace Omega will have bought a house of her own before you even think about making a move.” 

A heaving sigh left Hunter’s mouth. “First of all, I don’t like her in that way.”

Before he could continue his statement, the house erupted with laughter (a reaction that Hunter did not appreciate). “Give it up Hunter,” Echo said as he looked up from the menu he was penning. “Omega practically calls her mom and you get a stupid look on your face whenever you mention her.” 

As much as he would have liked to continue denying his feelings to protect his pride, Hunter had to admit that his brothers were right. He had been absolutely smitten from the first moment he met you five years ago. You had knocked on their door to introduce yourself, with homemade muffins in your hands and a smile on your face, and he had almost forgotten how to talk. As the years went by and you got closer and closer to him and his daughter, it had become increasingly more difficult to ignore the attraction he felt. “Fine, you di’kuts are right,” he said. “But she doesn’t feel the same way, and I’m not going to ruin the positive relationship she has with Omega. Besides, I can’t afford an actual babysitter.” 

“Omega is more than capable of spending the afternoons by herself, and she could take the bus home after school,” Tech said. “Also, you are decidedly incorrect about her not feeling the same way.” 

“Guys-” 

“It’s true!” Wrecker boomed. “We’ve spent enough time with her at your summer barbecues to catch how she looks at you.”

“And now she’s coming to Life Day dinner,” Crosshair said. “Face it Hunter, you’re in love.”

“I invited her because she didn’t have anywhere else to go!” 

“Two things can be true at the same time,” Tech said. 

“Maybe you could say something on Life Day,” Wrecker cut in. “What are you going to get her?” 

There was a significant pause before Hunter responded, his voice much quieter than it had been before. “I don’t know.” 

Hunter loved his brothers, he truly did. But right now, as they rattled off endless suggestions of things he could get you, he wanted to be anywhere else but here at the moment. 

The feeling of his phone buzzing in his pocket provided a welcome distraction, and he looked down to see your name on the screen. Omega and I are going out to lunch and then we’ll be home, you’ve got about an hour left to finish wrapping her gifts, the text message read. 

Thanks for the heads up, he texted back. I’ll make sure things are all cleaned up by then. 

No matter how hard he tried to hide the smile that crossed his face, it was an impossible feat, as was getting his brothers to stop teasing him and get back to work, since they really didn’t have much time to get everything done. 

He still needed to think about a gift for you, and time was certainly running out. Trying to ignore the way his brain wandered towards easy daydreams was another unattainable goal, and he couldn’t help but play through all different scenarios in his head of you and him, hearts and souls intertwined in domestic bliss. 

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, his brothers were right. Five years was long enough, he just needed to find the courage to actually tell you how he felt without chickening out, and maybe this Life Day he would prove successful. 

***

Hunter’s home was less than a minute walk for you, but your heart was racing as you stepped up to the front door, as if you had run a marathon on the way. But the homemade cake you had brought was balanced precariously atop the gifts in your hands, and a single misstep could have spelled imminent disaster.

Thankfully, the door opened before you had finished ascending the porch stairs, and Hunter immediately pulled the cake from the top of the gift stack. “Need any other help?” he asked.

“No, but thank you,” you breathed, stepping inside and immediately walking through to the living room. Once the presents in your arms were deposited safely next to the tree, you were nearly tackled in a hug. 

“Happy Life Day!” Omega said brightly, arms tight around your middle. 

“Happy Life Day to you too,” you said, unable to keep a goofy smile from appearing on your face. Despite the fact that you didn’t live here, something about this space, and especially these people, felt like home in a way you could never truly articulate. 

When Omega finally let you go, you turned to Hunter. “Am I the first one here?” Even though you lived next door, you would have thought someone else would be here by now, especially since you arrived a little late (trying to close your own door with the gifts and cake was quite a challenge, but you managed). 

Hunter nodded. “The others aren’t supposed to be here for another half hour,” he said. “Omega wanted to give you your gift as early as possible.” 

You looked back at Omega, who was practically vibrating with excitement. “Well, I can’t leave her waiting any longer, can I?” 

After being directed to the couch, you watched Hunter sit down on the armchair across the room with a smile on his face. As Omega brought over a small box wrapped in tooka-patterned paper, you jokingly shook it, feeling something heavy rustle around. As you tore open the paper and opened the box, your eyes widened. 

Glittering in the light of the tree across the room were two crystalline statues of your favorite animal. You had spent many hours doodling with Omega when she was younger at her kitchen table, and it was clear that this gift was her idea, as she had seen enough of your attempts at drawing these to know they were your favorite. “I love them,” you said sincerely, placing the statues on the couch side table before sweeping her up in a hug. “Do you want to open your gift now?” you asked, and her eyes lit up. 

Hunter watched in amusement as you walked over to the tree and presented Omega’s two gifts to her. She was much less gentle with the wrapping than you were, but that didn’t really matter. “Wow!” she said as she realized what it was, eyes wide as she took in the present, a high-quality set of paints, paintbrushes, and a pack of canvases, since she talked all the time about how much she enjoyed painting in art class. 

Hunter opened his mouth, probably to prompt his daughter to say thank you, but she beat him to it, wrapping you in a hug once more and babbling excitedly about what she’s going to paint with her new supplies. 

When she finally let you go, you got up from the couch and stepped over towards the tree, where you picked up a large box and presented it to Hunter. His eyes widened. “For me?” 

“Yes!” you said. “Omega helped me pick it out, so technically it’s from both of us.” 

He took the box from you. “It’s heavy.”

You watched with bated breath as he ripped open the paper, a smile crossing his face as he realized what it was. “Omega spilled the beans about you wanting a new caf machine,” you said. “And I’ll admit, we did get a slightly better model than the one you have now.” 

“That’s an understatement,” he said, staring at the graphics on the box that outlined all the different things this machine could do. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” 

“I wanted to,” you said, and the two of you locked eyes for a moment. There was so much you wanted to tell him, but you didn’t exactly want to do it with an audience.

“Thank you,” he said warmly, putting the box down to get up from his chair. He moved to hug you, but his daughter beat him to it. You had hugged Omega so many times today that part of your mind wished Hunter was the one to wrap your arms around you, but you tried to push those thoughts away. 

After the moment had ended, you immediately moved to grab the used wrapping paper from the floor, and Omega took off somewhere else in the house, excitedly talking about how she couldn’t wait for her uncles to arrive. 

You and Hunter worked like you could read each others’ minds, something you only noticed when you realized that you had wordlessly begun setting out hors d'oeuvres on the table in preparation for the rest of the family to arrive. Maker, things just felt so right here, with him, so much so that you never wanted to leave.  

“Hey,” Hunter’s voice interrupted your thoughts. “You didn’t open all your gifts yet.” 

You looked at him with a confused look on your face. “But-” 

He shook his head. “We- I have one more thing for you.” 

You took note of the way he corrected himself, watching as he left the kitchen and returned with a small box in his hands. It was completely silent as you tore open the paper and popped open the jewelry box to reveal a simple necklace, your first initial hanging from a silver chain. 

“I didn’t know what to get you, and then my brothers got in my head about making sure I got something good, so-”

“Hunter,” you said softly, cutting off his rambling. “I love it.” 

He breathed an obvious sigh of relief, and you gently put the box down on the counter before moving towards him, throwing your arms around him and breathing in his scent. He returned the hug, and you felt as though you might die right here and now. You had hugged Hunter before, but they had always been quick goodbyes and polite greetings, never something like his. 

As you moved to pull away, he gripped your side a little tighter. “Wait,” he said, voice soft. Your faces were much closer than they had ever been before, and you wondered if he could hear the way your heart was beating faster than usual. 

“What is it?” you breathed.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Despite having daydreamed about him saying those words to you multiple times since you met, it took a few seconds for you to register that they were actually leaving his lips at this moment. “Yes,” you responded, allowing him to close the gap between you. 

Kissing Hunter was like coming upon an oasis in the desert, the feeling of his lips on yours suddenly becoming a desperate need. If you were dreaming, you never wanted to wake up. One of your hands moved to his hair as his tightened around your waist, every ounce of passion that both of you had been keeping locked away finally bubbling to the forefront. 

The sound of excited shrieking was what finally detached your lips from each other, and you both turned to see Omega standing in the doorway of the kitchen, a smile on her face. “Does this mean I can call you mom?” she asked, looking expectantly at you. 

Hunter shifted where he stood. “Omega-” 

But before he could say anything, you jumped in. “If you promise not to say anything to your uncles, yes.” 

She nodded excitedly and ran up to the two of you for a hug before mumbling something about giving you space, leaving the room as empty as it had been a minute ago.

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping,” you said quickly. “If you don’t want her to call me that I can tell her I was mistaken.” 

“I was about to tell her that it was your decision,” he said warmly. “I don’t want you to think that just because we kissed I was expecting anything more.” 

“What if I wanted something more?” you asked. “Hunter, I’ve cared about you for so long now I barely even noticed my feelings until a year ago. But there’s no mistaking how I feel anymore, and I want you to know how much I love you.” 

He pulled you into another hug. “I think I fell in love with you the moment we met,” he said. “My brothers have been bugging me about you for longer than I want to admit.” 

You laughed, only imagining the types of teasing he has endured over the last few years. “Then let’s go for it.” 

Hunter responded by leaning down to kiss you again, and you certainly weren’t complaining. 

The next thing to grab your attention was the sound of the doorbell ringing, and you pulled away from Hunter (who, swear to Maker, emitted something of a whine as he lost contact with your lips). “How long do you think it’s going to take Omega to spill the beans?” you whispered as you heard her footsteps through the house, no doubt moving to open the door for whichever of her uncles had arrived first. 

“Seconds, probably,” he whispered back.

You laughed. “Come on, let’s go see who it is.” 

“Do we have to?” 

Playfully swatting his shoulder as his face morphed into a pout, you nodded before pulling away from his touch.

You greeted Crosshair with a bright smile and a polite hug, and he didn’t say anything about knowing what had just transpired between you and his brother moments before, so there was a small sliver of hope that Omega had been able to keep your secret. 

However, the moment you sat down on the couch with a plate of snacks, you could feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and a text from Crosshair to both you and Hunter reflected on the home screen. 

Have a good makeout session? 

Before you could think about what to say, a response from Hunter followed. 

Did Omega tell you?

Crosshair, who was sitting on the armchair as Omega rooted around under the tree for his gift, just smiled as he typed back. 

She didn’t have to, one look at your hair told me everything I needed to know.

Hunter quickly tried to tame his hair where your hands had mussed it, and Crosshair just watched with an amused smile. As the doorbell rang once more and Omega ran to greet the next arrival, a sincere smile appeared on his face. “Congrats you two.” 

“Thanks,” you said sincerely. “We finally figured things out.” 

As Hunter sat down on the couch next to you and intertwined your fingers with his, you realized that you couldn’t have dreamed of a more perfect Life Day, and you would never again have to consider spending the holiday alone.

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[cyberdragoninfinity]

I would love to hear your thoughts about the fucked-up turtle (Terapagos)

"Now let's talk about the turtle. Can we talk about the turtle please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the turtle with you all day."

Ok so. Short Answer Re: Thoughts About Terapagos:

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DID IT DO THAT. WHY DID THEY [GAMEFREAK] DO THAT.

Long Answer Re: Thoughts About Terapagos [SPOILERS FOR THE SCARVIO DLC naturally. i havent seen Horizons so i dont rly know whats goin on with this little guy in the anime, just what we've got in the games]:

When the last little batch of new Pokemon in Indigo Disk leaked, about 12 hours or so-ish before the DLC dropped, I was at dinner with my bestie and we were looking at our phones like we were reading breaking world news. And I was looking at this tiny ass png of Terapagos's full Tera (Stellar) form.

And I immediately blurted out "holy SHIT it's turtles all the way down."

If you're not familiar with the phrase, check out its wikipedia page; here it's most relevant as a saying thrown around with regards to the philosophical concept of infinite regress, i.e. a series of elements (or questions begging an explanation) that that goes on infinitely with each member producing the next. So let's say the world rests on the back of a giant turtle--well, then, what does that turtle stand on to keep it from falling into the void? Why, another, bigger turtle, of course! But what about that turtle? Well, you're not gonna believe this, but it's turtles all the way down.

And here's the other thing about infinite regress: it's a logical fallacy, it's circular reasoning--honestly it's a little bit of a cousin to the "which came first?" chicken and egg argument. The question in these cases never truly gets answered, it just goes on and on forever. Bigger turtles on top of even bigger turtles.

It's a paradox. :)

So Stellar Terapagos, just look at that thing. Even its dex entries talk about how it looks like a planet, how it resembles "the world as the ancients saw it"--it's very much not only trying to evoke the World Turtle concept, but the symbolism of a classic paradoxical saying. So we've already got that going on with it, that already makes me bonkers. AND THAT'S JUST THE SURFACE LEVEL.

Cuz when we look at how Terapagos behaves, things start to go from "well isnt this guy a little weird" to "oh. oh this thing is kind of fucked up and terrifying, hello, what the hell is wrong with it" REAL FAST. Its two most stressed features we see in Indigo Disk are A.) its crystalline nature and how its the progenitor of Terastalization, but also B.) it is ferociously powerful and borderline uncontrollable. It's violent. It bursts out of a Master Ball and almost kills Kieran for daring to try and control it. Heath's illustration of its Stellar form in the Scarlet/Violet Book looks so otherworldly and almost cosmically horrifying. It has Weird Fucking Powers the game does NOT elaborate on (but I will; see more below.)

And also, hey, yeah, its Stellar Form looks like a stack of world turtles, but why the FUCK does its Terastal form also look like a goddamn dream catcher.

Personally I've been a big fan of the 'imagination theory' re: the Professors and the Paradox Pokemon and Area Zero, and folks have been arguing that Indigo Disk debunks that, but honestly I feel like we're loitering around some untold explanation that's even more bizarre. Terapagos is at least on some level tied to dreams and existentialism, and I really feel like there's more to Tera Crystals and Terapagos's relationship with them than what we've been told. Hell, its cry is even the noise we hear all game when we Terastalize our Pokemon, which produces its own myriad of questions (Are the Crystals some degree of alive? The Tera Crowns all do have Terapago's little turtle head at their base, too--does Terapagos physically or spiritually connect with a Terastalizing Pokemon? And what about that weird crystalizing the AI Professor does during its big boss fight? MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.)

Oh, speaking of Crystals--yeah. I can't NOT talk about the Indigo Disk Crystal Pool Postgame Secret when talking about Terapagos. ONE MORE SPOILER WARNING FOR THAT--SERIOUSLY GO TO THE CRYSTAL POOL AFTER GETTING THE DLC CREDITS. IT WILL BLAST YOU TO BITS. anyway.

Yeah so that's what I mean with Why Did It [Terapagos] Do That. The fact that you dont even need to have it in your party for the postgame Crystal Pool cutscene to trigger and for Terapagos to just pop out of the PC boxes on its own accord and warp space and time (and maybe even reality itself) to irreversible consequence, implying once again some great and uncontrollable power within this beast. Crazy Ass Moments in Pokemon History for CERTAIN.

And the thing that makes me most insane, thinking about Terapagos twisting time to allow you to meet the Professor, the Real Live Professor, to swap notes with them so to speak, the way it facilitates all of that, is the position it now puts the player and Scarvio itself in. If the Professor's research rests on the back of a white book given to them by a child, then what does the research of that white book rest upon? Ah, well, the expedition of Area Zero spurred forth by the fallout of the Professor's research. And what did THAT research rest upon, again...?

Turtles. The whole way down. Chickens and eggs and a paradox you're now responsible for. At the hands of a Normal Type Pokemon that tried to kill a 14 year old.

Terapagos scares the shit out of me. I love it so much. Why Did They Make It Like That <3

[crippling-pages]

random kotlc headcanons :p

*clears throat* *puts fancy suit on* *pulls out whiteboard* @swans-chirping-in-the-distance you wanted headcanons, right? sooooooooo

Tam wears glasses, mainly to see things farther away better. He didn't know it until sometime during Flashback, he just thought everyone sees stuff that way. Tiergan helped him figure out that he needed them and helped get the perfect pair.

Biana buys Tam flower bouquets. He mentioned that he really liked flowers, and the next day she comes up to the door of Solreef, and blushing very, very hard, she gives Tam the bouquet. Linh had to spend a full 15 minutes with a dazed Tam.

When Keefe comes back from the Forbidden Cities, he uses all these weird slang words. One time, he told Councilor Emery that "You have no rizz, man. If you wanna become the alpha, you need to up your aura."

Emery is scarred for life after that exchange.

Sophie is a Red stan. She doesn't listen to Taylor Swift often, but she is forever a fan of the album Red.

When Fitz was looking for Sophie, he found a video of one of those kids baking competitions, and he was just amazed. It's how he started to get into baking.

Tam and Dex have this amazing friendship no one really knows about. It's not like they kept it a secret, it's just no one really notices either of them.

Tam can be chaotic as heck when he wants to be. Most of the time, he's the quiet and chill yet quite comfortable introvert. Though if he's got the right energy, BOOM he's as crazy as the triplets with enough energy to make the world explode.

One time, Dex asked Tam to watch the triplets (feeling pretty bad because the triplets are you know, the triplets) for him and his parents because they all were out that day, and when he came back home, they were asleep. And they stayed asleep, for hours.

It was one of the best days ever in the Dizznee household.

The reason Tam got them to sleep was because his chaotic side clicked in. It was a hour and a half game of tag.

(It was only that one time though. Next time Tam babysat, the triplets were prepared).

Even after making up with Tam, Linh still didn't really trust Rayni. But for every little conversation they have, they both start to ease up on each other.

One morning, when everyone's up for breakfast, Linh comes down and Rayni grins and goes, "What's up, Water-Gir?" and everyone is doing a double take because Linh was gonna kill Rayni. But it gets worse when Linh replies, also grinning, with "Good morning, RayRay."

Everyone else almost had a heart attack because it seemed like yesterday they were about to kill each other.

At one point, Keefe cracks a joke about Tam having a crush on Rayni (before he knew about Tam and Biana already dating), and Tam says, "Okay, for one: She's like, 25 and I'm like 16, I think, so that's disgusting, and secondly: Rayni is old and ugly, and-"

But he doesn't get to finish because Rayni hears and runs downstairs, pissed and yelling "WHAT THE HECK TAM?! WELL, AT LEAST I DON'T USE THE OVERUSED SHADY AND EMO IMAGE" and then that gets Tam pissed, so then there's this whole argument that goes on for about 10 minutes.

Basically, Tam and Rayni are siblings. Rayni is the oldest sister, and Tam is the annoying little brother.

Marella and Tam have gossip sessions during lunch; they also just have this really great friendship. (And by friendship, I mean they each have blackmail on each other and are forced to interact so the other doesn't spill their secrets).

Keefoster and Tiana double dates :>

At Solreef, Tiergan has this huge library, filled with elven books and even human books.

Tam has read almost every book in there. His favorites are the fantasy books.

His favorite book series ever is Percy Jackson. He's read every single PJO book in the library.

When Sophie finds out, oh boy do they geek out about it.

Forkle set them up on a sleepover one time, because "You kids need to be kids" or something like that.

None of them expected to have much fun, but they did. They even made a plan that once a week, at someones house they'd meet up and have a sleepover or just have fun.

TA-DA!!!!!!! KOTLC HEADCANONS YAYYYYYYYYY!!! Most of the are about Tam but Tam's amazing so its fine <3

hope you enjoyed! <3

[ohmygoly]

KotLC Economy

I wasn't gonna post anything, and this probably won't be very noticed, but I saw a poll about the worst part of the KotLC books and now I'm thinking about this.

The way that money is handled in the books is not only super inaccurate and pretty much impossible, it's actually damaging to the story as well. Everyone just gets about 500 million lusters in their accounts at the beginning of their lives and somehow the currency is still more valuable than American/European money? Even though that's not how value works from an economical standpoint anywhere in the world? Just the fact that EVERYONE gets that much money instantly negates its value at all, because no one needs anymore money and therefore any money you possibly could've payed anyone is worthless.

Why do any elves even sell stuff? I get having hobbies, and I get giving it away, but at that point an elf wouldn't even bother charging lusters for it because they would have to ask for so much to match the value while at the same time not needing any more because they have infinite money themselves. Elves would just ask for some other belonging in exchange and life would go back to some primitive form of society where everyone had to pay service with service directly. That or everybody gets everything for free and in that case, material supplies that actually did have value would deplete rapidly and it would destroy the Earth because every resource would be drained for nothing (and that just doesn't happen because any intelligent species should know not to deplete resources and put a value on it. In a free system like the latter describes, elves would actually be doing much worse for the planet than even humans because at least humans know they must preserve some things for more profit).

It's also lazy writing because it's just a way for Shannon Messenger not to have to honestly think about how much a character is spending in the books and it means she can focus more on other prejudices like abilities, twins, or matches without factoring anything else into it. I'll get to that next but for now, it's also a glaring worldbuilding issue because while all elves are supposed to get enough money to last them a lifetime, the books state that elves don't actually know how long they live for. That means that they would have to have an infinite amount of money, to their own knowledge, to last them a lifetime.

Back to focusing on other prejudices, its all well that she came up with creative ways elves would segregate as it makes for a distinct cultural species but money and class is always important in a society because money is always a societal must in any type of advanced civilization. How it's important and how it separates people, as well as how the government controls it, is what makes the societies different. To not have this in here ruins the opportunity for government oppression in the form of labor and money that would amplify the effects of being a twin, a bad match, or talentless. Sure, you could just banish everyone that isn't perfect, I'm sure that has happened, but even then there would be a lot of elves who would be banished and at that point they would be their own society (something else that hasnt really been shown to exist within the elven world).

It also makes being a bad match or talentless less scary because yes society judges you but look at Juline and Kesler, they still live in an ice mansion and have immense wealth. Social oppression and physical oppression are two different things and one is far more drastic and dystopian. Sophie doesn't even need to see it at first. Maybe while not banished, those parts of the elven world are even more hidden than the glittering ones and since Sophie goes to Foxfire she still wouldn't see it right away and it would serve the same effect of what appears to be a utopia to the readers (I forgot who posted it but someone else made a great analysis on this point) but is actually a dystopia.

I think Dex, Marella, and Jensi should've been part of a lower economic class, and I even think Stina should be very close to it. So much so that she has to be mean and bully Dex to separate herself from what is a very possible future for her family. Maybe Sophie meets them another way. Maybe Dex is accepted into Foxfire because his mom is still "noble" or because his aunt is and its very apparent he still doesnt fit in with the rest of the students. Maybe the councillors created a special test to allow only the smartest of the lower class to also join Foxfire, and Marella and Jensi passed. That would make the council seem a little more progressive from the outside at first as well as allow Sophie to meet them as soon as she does as well as give Marella and Jensi a unique perspective.

Jensi is part of the drooly boys but even from the beginning he is clearly not a part of the group because while gross, theyre still noble. Jensi is still poor. Marella's mom getting drunk and getting a disability would be another way for the kids to scorn the lower class, as if its Marella's fault. Maybe even make way for a storyline where a noble elf was at fault for her impairment (because they have a lower class to oppress). Them becoming talentless and a pyrokinetic would be that much worse because they lose a chance to continue schooling at Foxfire. They are faced with the fact that they have to continue the life their families led before them because they don't have what society wants them to have. Because of this they also still work for the rich and they still have no money. That is much better than just "I can't work for the council and am instead stuck with no obligations to them while I sit comfortably in my mansion with my 500 million lusters. But oh no, I'm not noble so it means I'm oppressed"

[noturusualpotato]

I’ve read so many fics where Obi-Wan gets a different Jedi Master or like gets adopted by Mandalorians or whatnot, but I had an epiphany recently and like what about Dex? Like, imagine the AU where Dex adopts Obi (post Melida/Daan) and Obi grows up flipping burgers as part time job, and throwing out Quin from the Diner because Quinlan won’t let him study and steals chips. And then, Dex being there smacking pple trying to get into Obi-Wan’s pants with like a rump of meat on the head and if you dared to hurt his precious son he will reactivate his underworld network and send some of his old associates after you and like Dex just sort of collecting Obi-Wan’s feral friends like he would collect cats bc like what difference one more makes. Dex is gonna be the best Dad, fight me on it. Poor Dex is severely underused in Star Wars fics if you ask me (and I know there is a book where he meets Obi when Obi is 16 and THEN opens the diner, but hells to it, m changing that).

This is it. That’s the next thing I’m writing when I find the moment between my ongoing stuff. Stay tuned, I’ve got like lots of airport time next week. I’m making a whole YA fanfic series out of it. The Diner Diary AU or sth.

[petertingle-yipyip]

WORLD CLASS SINNER- FRANK CASTLE

four - we’re not alike

three // five // masterlist

Pairing: frank x livia (exodus), billy x livia

Word Count: 4,350

Summary: A confrontation that was meant to end it all fails, but that tension snaps in an unexpected way, leaving two allies in a short standoff.

You didn’t blame Dinah for her obsession with taking down Billy. You were sure if he had shot you in the head and you survived that you’d have one hell of a bone to pick with him, too. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t hold grudges of your own. Daredevil, Fisk, Dreykov, Dex. But you never obsessed over any one man enough to lose sleep, to torment them day in and day out.

You tried to chalk it up to trauma but it was more than that. A vendetta at the very least. It made you worry but not enough for you to spring into action.

Curtis gave Frank the information he knew and sent him on his way to track down Billy Russo. You told him to call if he wanted or needed help. Until then, life would continue.

Billy Russo may have stopped Dinah’s world from spinning but you’d be damned if he got that power over you.

You spent the day doing one of the many things you’d neglected since you got back. You were unpacking your apartment. You washed and put away dishes, arranged the furniture in your living room, unpacked your decor, and organized your clothes. You went through your case and found the broken mask, chipped edges and stained lens. That mask had seen two of your more brutal fights in New York and you wanted to both frame it and burn it.

Frank and Curtis called you that night and asked you to come on their stakeout, something about a bar they knew Billy and his new crew frequented. At that point, most of your belongings were back in place and it was almost as if you had never left.

The nostalgic feeling didn’t last long, especially once you caught a glimpse of yourself. Your shorts left you with bare legs,  littered in scars varying from just faint discolorations even you hardly noticed to still raised lines across your skin or divots where your body just couldn’t replace it. You didn’t want to think of the marks across your back, chest, or stomach.

You didn’t go with them that night, but that didn’t stop them from reaching out the next day. No calls or words, just an address.

You dressed in fitted pants, high top shoes, and a black compression shirt. Your vest fit neatly over and you covered it all with a pullover. You slipped a knife under each sleeve and a gun at your back, mask in your pocket just in case, and left.

“…SERE course. Bad news is I took it too. It ain’t gonna work, not today.” Frank explained as you made your way inside the small apartment.

A man sat tied to a chair in the center of the living area while Frank stood on the opposite side of the room. After a few more words, Frank brought up Billy.

They spoke some more and you moved further into the small space. It was then when you noticed Dinah and Curtis on Frank’s other side. Subtly, you reached under your sleeves and pushed the blades up higher.

“I know who you are.” The man, Jake, told Frank.

“Do you know me?” You spoke, allowing your voice to change to the accented, slightly deeper tone Exodus used. “Or… Do you know what fear does to a person?”

You moved closer, gesturing as you spoke while the yellow fog collected across your palm.

“Fear, it can choke you. Freeze you. Enough of it can break you.” Your hand pushed forward and the fog acted accordingly, slithering around the man’s neck and creeping up his skin like a snake. “You know the expression about choking on fear? I can make it very real for you. One way or the other, Jake, every man has his limit… And I think yours isn’t as far as you want to believe.”

Frank put a hand on your arm and pulled you back a few steps. The calm contact was enough to snap your focus and your fog dissipated. Jake made a few smart mouth comments about Dinah and Curtis being there, mouthing off that you and Frank wouldn’t be so tough if he was untied. You scoffed and when Frank looked at you, you nodded.

He moved to cut the tape and you shook your arm to let a blade fall. You watched Dinah’s eyes drop to your hand before she met your gaze with an expression you didn’t quite understand. Before you could dig deeper, you heard the scrape of the chair.

You turned and saw Jake coming at you. He drove his knife towards you but you easily controlled his wrist and spun him back to face Frank. You kicked out a knee and he fell to the ground, just before Frank slammed his foot against the man’s chest. He doubled over and you moved in a slow circle, flipping your blade as you moved.

“Это тот парень, с которым бежит Билли?” You laughed slightly before you kicked the knife away from Jake’s reaching hand. “Как упали могущественные.” You clicked your tongue in disappointment. (This is the guy Billy runs with? How the mighty have fallen.)

You hauled Jake up by the back of his shirt and threw him over the small table. You grabbed a hand and flattened his palm against the table. You glanced over your shoulder and Frank nodded as he moved closer. You gripped the knife firmly and drove it through the back of Jake’s hand. You kept your grip on the knife handle, twisting it to add on to the pressure Frank was putting. Your head cocked as you watched the man’s eyes grow wide until Frank backed off. Dinah yelled for you both to stop and you yanked your blade out. You wiped the blade across Jake’s sleeve to clean it before Frank gently pushed you out to follow Dinah.

She nagged that you two were out of control, that you were going too far. You said nothing while Frank told her to walk away. He told her she couldn’t do it and she needed to let whatever would happen happen. You didn’t care to listen to what she said next.

You went back into the apartment and pulled Jake to his knees. You took your blade and pressed it against the soft skin of his jaw, balling up his shirt with the other. You trailed the tip along the bone and down his throat until it sat at the small vulnerability at the base, right where the collarbones met. You looked at him for a moment, seeing the fear in his eyes and you willed it higher. The tip of your blade broke skin and as the yellow covered his eyes, he broke.

“They’re hitting the ReadyQuick check-cashing spot.” He confessed and you withdrew your blade while he spilled the information like a broken faucet.

You hummed to yourself in satisfaction and concealed your blade.You pushed yourself to stand and led your group out once you had enough.

“Wait. I can’t let you do this.” Dinah tried and you tilted your head up and muttered to the sky.

“Not asking for permission.” Frank shot back and opened the car door for you.

“I felt bad. I did, okay? Everything that was done to you.” She continued and you leaned on the open door with raised brows. “So I swallowed a mountain of shit because I felt like I owed you. But I owe myself, too.”

She came closer but you put yourself in front of her.

“When I met him, I felt I owed him, too.” You said pointedly, head nodding as you spoke. “I tried to help him, too, and it blew up my goddamn law firm.”

“Get out of my way, Yersova.”

“No.” You laughed.

“I took an oath.”

“Yeah? So did I. A few, actually. You wanna know what oaths get you? Knives in your stomach, bullets in your wrists, men cutting into your body to place trackers or remove your reproductive system or initiate pheromone blockers.”

Every example was another step closer, backing her up a good distance.

“The only oath I ever took that was worth a damn was the one to myself… And maybe to Daredevil.”

“I’m calling Mahoney. Let him take Billy down.” She continued and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Frank, you need to get out of New York before they come looking for you.”

“Do what you need to do, Madani.” Frank said flatly. “You coming, Princess?”

“The law didn’t stop Wilson Fisk. Daredevil and I did. It didn’t stop the Punisher. No one did. It didn’t stop Ben Poindexter or Billy Russo or the Yakuza or the Russians. I did… It won’t stop him now either.”

You backed away as Dinah scrambled for a response. You shrugged slightly and climbed into the backseat.

Thanks to your little disagreement of morality with Dinah, the three of you missed the caravan leaving the warehouse. Meaning you had to take it to the ReadyQuick if you wanted to get him. And you’d have to dawn the mask.

You slid it into place on the drive over and pulled your hair out of your face. You tapped the side and it hummed to life, small icons and messages flashing quickly before regulating the usual idle display. You pulled your sweater over your head and you reached for your wrists instinctively but the joints were bare.

You left your Bites.

You sighed to yourself and shook your head in annoyance. You tucked your blades between your pants and your belt. You tightened the strap of your vest and focused back on the drive when you realized you were pulled over.

Frank and Curtis went back and forth quickly but it was ultimately decided Curtis would stay.

“I’ll look after him.” You promised before you got

out. “And if she ends up going to Madani, call Matt Murdock. Tell him I sent you.”

Frank revealed himself first while you were crouched behind one of the parked cars and there was something from Billy’s that wasn’t there last time you spoke to him. There was an edge, an uncertainty that bordered insanity. You knew that you cultivated an aura of unpredictability as Exodus, but what you could hear and feel from Billy was the only thing you thought could ever compare.

The thought sent a chill down your spine, a twitch at your scarred wrist.

You groaned to yourself in frustration and grabbed the joint firmly, allowing your own anger to soak your palm and you let it sit on the scar. You forced the heat to burn out the twitch and instead, the anger took its place. Anger that he had the audacity to live after what he’d done. Anger that he had left a permanent mark on your body. Anger that he didn’t know who you were or what you were.

Death was your shadow, ghosts and wraiths were your teachers. And Billy Russo would do good to remember that about you, if nothing else.

You came into view when the gunfire rang out, despite Frank trying to pull you out of the way. You maintained eye contact with Billy, and lucky for you, his men were more worried about the Punisher. You palmed a blade when a bullet whizzed past your head, causing your attention to snap upwards. You saw the sniper on the roof and your lip curled into a slight snarl.

You couldn’t hit him with your blade. The height of the building left too much time for him to dodge your blade, no matter how hard you threw it. You could shoot out the scope, maybe take his eye out with it, but he had a perfect shot at you. He’d likely clip you before you could get your gun out.

“We gotta move, Ex!” Frank yelled and it pulled you back into the fight. You heard tires screeching and turned to see Frank climbing into a car.

You jumped in the passenger side and the chase began. You had to duck and evade the sniper’s bullets coming through the window, once having to reach over and push Frank down. Rounding a corner led you straight into Billy’s gunfire and you had to drop to the footwell. You rattled around as the car crashed and you felt a hand on your shoulder. Frank looked at you with wide, worried eyes as Billy was yelling something.

“I’m fine.” You said sharply and pushed yourself up to climb into the backseat.

You opened the rear driver side door and climbed out, now feeling a growing ache in your ribs. You scooted further down to allow Frank to follow you out. The sounds of sirens filled the silence before Billy spoke again.

“Did you do this to me?” He yelled, seemingly more confident in the idea.

“You’re goddamn right I did!” Frank yelled back and you slipped around the car. Your pistol was gripped in your hand as you maneuvered the crashed vehicles and kept your body low to avoid the next round of automatic gun fire.

The incoming sirens grew louder and it felt like the timer was ticking down at the same time. You were able to get behind Billy and you had to act quickly if you wanted the chance before the NYPD got too close.

Move, Exodus. You thought. If you don’t, you’ll miss your chance.

The incoming officers served as a perfect distraction.

You forced yourself to vault over the hood of the car you were crouched behind. You landed softly, soundlessly even, and reached out. You yanked Billy back by the hood of his jacket and his bullets immediately ceased.

You threw your arm around his neck and pressed your gun under his chin.

“Скучаешь по мне?” You said lowly in his ear. (Miss me?) “You should’ve died.”

“Should’ve done it yourself then.” He growled back and grabbed your arm.

He pulled you over his shoulder and your back hit the ground. He quickly put a knee on your chest and reached for the gun in your hand. You searched for the foot he had against the ground and slammed your elbow against the ankle. His foot skidded and he was thrown off balance so you could roll away.

You planted one foot on the ground and turned to slam the opposing heel into his kidney and he fell to his face. You rolled him to his back and used your knees to pin his arms down at the shoulders. Your gun had fallen away so you pulled a blade instead.

“Say my name.” You ordered, accent dripping off the simple syllables.

He stared at you with no fear. Either he didn’t care if he died or he didn’t believe you’d do it.

“Say it!” You commanded again, your anger heating the knife in your hand. 

“You’re just a Mask.” He taunted and your lip curled. “Without it, you’re nothing.”

“Without it, I owned you all the same.” You spoke plainly.

You raised your knife overhead, pushing his head to the side with the other hand, when the bullet grazed. The knife clattered from your hand and the metallic sting burned a line against the back of your hand. You clutched the injury and turned quickly to find the shooter. An NYPD officer. If it wasn’t just a man doing his job, you would’ve fired back.

The second your attention shifted, Billy threw you off and ran. You collected your discarded weapons quickly and saw Frank motioning for you to follow.

A new car had arrived and the driver dragged Billy away. You slammed a hand against the ground before you ran after Frank. He waited for you a few blocks over and took off again once he saw you’d match his stride.

You dared one look over your shoulder and saw Mahoney a few paces behind you.

You rolled your eyes slightly and faced forward. You knew Mahoney was a good guy but you wished he’d chase someone else for once.

You and Frank ended up cornered in an alley. Before you could get the lock off, Mahoney had found you.

“Drop the gun, Frank.” He ordered and you kept your back to him. “Drop your weapons, too, Exodus.”

You felt Frank tap your arm in reassurance so you lifted your already empty hands. You looked over and saw Frank was moving closer to Mahoney and you followed suit. He fell to his knees as Brett ordered and you did the same.

“Been a while from either of you.” Brett said carefully. His gun never wavered.

“Nothing big enough after Fisk.” You answered, intently letting your accent coat your words.

“Explains the downgrade in outfits.”

Your neutral expression shifted to a glare at the comment.

“How is his little Bullseye, by the way? Shattered spine is no joke. Shame he still lives.”

“I thought you only come out when Daredevil’s around.”

“He’s not my keeper:”

“Yeah.” He scoffed slightly. “Didn’t think you had one.”

You shrugged as a bullet hit the wall behind Brett. Your eyes darted over and saw Curtis with a rifle. You quickly pieced together that he had taken out the sniper from the rooftop. You nodded in thanks and stood carefully, allowing the boys to talk.

“Сожалею об этом.” You said with a sharp nod. (Sorry about this.)

When Brett looked your way, you threw a hard roundhouse that sent him slamming into the dumpster behind him before collapsing to the ground. You grabbed Frank’s hand and you two took off behind Curtis.

As you were leaving, you felt the wave of emotions coming for you. It was from the direction of the warehouse you had checked before going after Billy. He was remembering that night in better detail. He was remembering you and Frank. You liked that he was tore up about it. You wanted to make that worse, to drive him insane, but two things stopped you.

One, he was too far. Your influence likely wouldn’t reach or it would impact someone else. Two, you didn’t know exactly how he’d react if you truly broke him. It made you think of what happened to Dex, the way he attacked you and Matt at the church, the knife - your knife - burying itself to the hilt in your stomach.

No, you weren’t convinced you’d survive that again.

So you sat in the backseat of Curtis’ car and took off your mask. You hid your vest under your sweater and simply looked in the direction of the waves while your hand sat on the scar on your stomach. The burn seemed to shift to the back of your hand and you finally turned focus to the bullet graze against the bony area.

You brought your hand closer to your face and examined it. You took a deep breath and willed it to hurt. You forced that emotion nagging at the back of your mind to move across your skin and mend the shallow wound. It caused you to clench your jaw as you saw the imaginary bubble of pain sitting on the back of your hand, waiting for its job.

For a moment, you let it hurt.

Then you clamped your other hand down on top and popped the imaginary bubble. The skin under it was warm but the wound had healed. Now it was just another scar.

When Curtis got you and Frank back to the trailer, you stepped out first. You put yourself in front and whistled the two notes you had taught Amy. You waited a second but got no reply. The potential made your stomach drop but you pulled a blade either way.

You tried your whistle again and were met with another silence. With worried eyes, you looked to Frank.

“Kid!” He tried. “It’s Frank!”

Silence.

“Kid!” 

Frank turned to you and you simply shrugged. Both of you had given your indicators and yet there was no response. You glanced around and saw no footprints. No tire marks. There was no blood or bullet holes or any signs of struggle. Has she gone that easily?

“Open it.” You said lowly, letting the blade flip over your knuckles to face the other way.

Frank gave a quick nod and opened the door. He stepped in first and you were right behind him. Your brows furrowed as worry gnawed at your stomach. You gripped your blade tighter just as a tennis ball came over yours and Frank’s shoulders.

You turned and lifted the other hand defensively. The figure went for Frank first and when he flipped the attacker over his shoulder, you realized it was Amy. You dropped your knife instantly and then regretted it.

“What are you doing?” Frank yelled as he kneeled over her. “You out of your mind?”

“Get off of her!” You shouted.

“You think it’s a game?” He ignored you. “How about now?” He put his gun against her jaw.

Suddenly, for a split second, you were a scared little kid again. You were training in the Red Room. One of your teachers, a man with a cold hand and an empty look in his eyes, had his cold hand around your throat while he slammed you to the ground. 

At that, something inside you snapped.

You reached forward and grabbed his arm. You twisted it towards you and pulled his hand towards the floor. You leaned into it and swung your legs, letting your knees collide with his chest. The move took you both to the ground and you heard the small whimpers as Amy clambered away in a panic. Vaguely, you heard Curtis’ voice either trying to console Amy or get you two to stop.

Frank tried to shove you off but you kept a firm hold of his jacket. His other hand grabbed at the back of your sweater and he rolled you two so he would pin you down. You shoved a knee between your bodies as the position changed and flattened the other foot against the floor. You kicked off the ground and then extended the knee to flip Frank over your head and you followed suit.

He landed with a heavy thud and you pulled your second blade. You yanked the excess fabric of his jacket and slammed the knife through it and into the floor. You knew it wouldn’t hold long, but it was enough for you to get to your feet and hurry to Amy’s side.

The girl was practically vibrating with panic and you felt it jolt through your own bones as she threw herself into your arms. You dropped all your walls and let her panic seep into you. She cried against you and you said nothing, just gently rubbed her back while you glared at Frank.

He angrily stared back with your knife in one hand and his gun in the other. You were hyper aware of your own handgun waiting at your back.

“She’s gonna get herself killed.” He said lowly.

“She shouldn’t have to worry about it from you.” You shot back, wrapping your arms around Amy a bit tighter. “What the hell were you thinking?” 

“Don’t give me that shit. You see how close I came to killing her?” He fired one shot into the wall and Amy flinched. “That’s her head all over that wall.”

“Enough.” You said sharply.

Another shot. “Just like that!”

Amy yelped but the sound was muffled by your sweater.

“I was just-“ She hiccuped. “I was just practicing the move you showed me!”

“Bullshit!” Frank continued. “Bullshit! Quit your goddamn crying!”

You moved Amy behind you and reached your hand to rest on your gun. Neither you or Frank backed down. He threw your knife at your feet and you planted your foot on top of it. You knew your other discarded blade was somewhere between the two of you, but looking away to find it wasn’t an option. Not when Frank seemed so erratic.

“She’s. A. Kid.” You said firmly. “You can’t talk to her like that. You can’t treat her like that.”

“This isn’t a goddamn game, Livia.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“She needs to know that. We make mistakes and people die. They die!”

“I know!” You shouted. Elektra, Sam Stein, Father Lantom, Matt - or so you thought, at least - other Widows you grew up with.

“A man died today because I dropped the ball, and you did too.”

You scoffed. “Some dickhead guy running with Billy. Is that supposed to make me feel bad?” You offered a mock pout.

“She needs to know she could wind up dead.”

“You pinning her down and pointing a gun at her isn’t going to teach her that.” You continued and Frank rolled his eyes.

You gently removed Amy’s hand from your sweater and took a couple steps forward. You made sure you slid the knife further behind you as you did so.

“You try that again, and my knife won’t go through your jacket.” You warned quietly. “Get your fucking head on straight or I do this without you.”

“You think you’re that goddamn tough, huh?” He asked in the same low tone, standing toe to toe with you.

“If that cop didn’t graze me, it would’ve been over already. I’m not afraid of Billy or the man from Ohio. And I’m damn sure not afraid of you. I don’t think you really want to see what it looks like from the other side when I go after someone.”

Frank shoved past you and went outside. Curtis was right behind while the two bickered about the keys. You collected your second knife and went after them.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Amy panicked and grabbed your hand. “You’re coming back, right?”

“I promise.” You nodded. “Just stay here and don’t do anything stupid. Call me if something happens and remember that shotgun.”

She nodded vigorously as the tears welled in her eyes. You patted her cheek and shut the door behind yourself.

[kcrabb88]

Starting to toodle around with my QuinObi week fics, and made myself laugh with parts of this one for the sick fic and/or tender kiss prompt (in which Obi-Wan has a migraine)

“Make a noise if you’re alive, babe. I’m enough of a medic to do mouth to mouth, but--”   Sprawled on the bed in a pair of sparring trousers and a commemorative t-shirt from Dex’s, Obi-Wan cracks his eyes open.  “I said make a noise, not open your eyes.”  “Brain’s not working,” Obi-Wan mutters, and he runs a hand through his grown-out hair. “As there’s currently a set of Gamorrean dueling knives slicing through the space behind my right eye.”  Quin bites back a laugh and brushes a thumb along Obi-Wan's hairline. “I know. Stay still a sec. Gonna give you this so maybe those knives will go away.”   He places the hypo Bant gave him against Obi-Wan's neck and dispenses the medication. At even the prospect of relief, some of the tension in Obi-Wan's body releases. The curtains cover the window entirely to block out any light, and Quin has set a fan next to Obi-Wan's bed—that usually helps with his migraines. Obi-Wan, who far-too-often in these days since Qui-Gon's death considers asking for personal help as some kind of failing that applies to him and him alone, still becomes a younger version of himself when one of these strikes. Vulnerable. More willing to accept assistance—from Quin, at least.   “Thank you, dearest.” The sliver of blue visible in Obi-Wan's barely open eyes shines with appreciation and a little bit of mirth. “Now, about that mouth to mouth--”  Quin snorts. “You don’t need it. You’re breathing just fine.”   “You’re a cruel Kiffar denying me things when I’m so very ill.”   Rolling his eyes, Quin presses a brief but warm kiss to Obi-Wan's mouth, and amusement catches in the back of his throat when Obi-Wan doesn’t quite want to let go.  “If the medicine doesn’t work,” Quin tells him with a wink, “we can try some other things instead. Right now, I’m pretty sure too much movement would make you throw up.”  

[orphiceonian]

˗ˏˋSILVERV WEEK: BETRAYAL´ˎ˗

read on ao3

written for @silverv-week

It was peaceful out here.

They were outside the city limits. Far enough away that the sounds of the sleepless metropolis had fallen somewhat silent but close enough that they could still see the glimmering neon that bathed the skylight in a kaleidoscope of dazzling lights.

Johnny took a long drag of his artificial cigarette, letting the synthetic smoke fill his lungs as he crackled into existence next to V.

She was leaning against the front of her quadra, eyes locked on the city scape that sprawled out before her. He could see the dark circles that had made their home under her grey eyes and the faint glimmer of the threading that marked her face.

“We gonna talk about it?” He glanced over at her and watched as she lit her own cigarette and pulled a drag.

“I’d really rather not.”

“I’m in your head, I know you do.”

“You being in my head is what started it.” V snapped, exhaling smoke into the cool nights air.

“Right so maybe I shouldn’t have looked—.”

“No you fucking shouldn’t have. Not rocket science Johnny, just basic fucking respect.” She pushed off the car and walked away from him.

Johnny sighed and flicked his cigarette away, watching as it fizzled away into nothingness shortly after leaving his fingers—yet another reminder of his false existence.

“So what if I looked back on your ‘saka days? You saw my Samurai days.” He scoffed, “No different.”

“You wanted me to see that. We agreed you wouldn’t have free reign. Trusted you and you fucking betrayed me, again.” Her voice was full of venom, his anger and hers melding together and mixing into something vicious.

Johnny frowned at her, moving to stand a bit closer to the merc. He had crossed a line and now that line was slowly turning into a rift between them. He didn’t want their relationship to sour over something as trivial as him slipping into her memories.

He took a moment, studying her face and the slight shake of her hand as she drew another drag. Something wasn’t right—her anger was warranted but he hadn’t seen her this mad in a long time.

Johnny took a breath. He wasn’t used to being the one who apologises first—hell he wasn’t used to apologising.

“Right, sorry I looked.” He muttered, looking away from her and out to the city.

“Just don’t know how many more times I can take you betraying my trust…” Her voice was small—like she was scared to speak to him, “Had too much of that recently, fuck it started this whole thing. Can trace it all back to a single fuckin moment of betrayal.” He can hear the bite to her words now, the anger seeping through them.

“Dex?”

V laughed lightly and shook her head, “Nah, Jenkins.”

Jenkins. Her old superior. Forty-something year old bureaucratic psychopath with a flare for cruelty, “That’s why you didn’t want me looking at your ‘saka days?”

“Just reminds me that I fucked up my whole damn life cause I trusted someone.” V took another drag and looked over at him, “Plus, my corpo days weren’t pretty ones. Rather save us both the misery reliving that…”

They fall into silence for a moment, listening to the sounds of the city that echo over to them, carried on the wind.

He can feel her thinking—feel the thoughts ticking over in her mind as she mulled over what she wanted to say to him.

“Jenkins pulled me out of a rough spot. Not for him I would have been a burnt out runner at fifteen.” V tapped ash off her cigarette and kept her eyes on the horizon as she spoke, “Betrayal hits harder when it comes from someone you’re indebted to.”

Johnny let her talk, knowing it was better for her to get the anger off her chest instead of letting it fester into something ugly and twisted.

“Spent the next eight years trying to make it up to him. Being ruthless, railing synthcoke on my breaks and doing his dirty work all so he wouldn’t have that leverage over me. All for him to go and fuckin’ betray me.” Her anger overflowed into her words, each syllable laced with vitriol and bitterness.

He looked over, seeing the hatred burning in her eyes and the tears bubbling up behind them.

Johnny knew how betrayal felt. First the military—then militech. A dozen more moments of deceit and betrayal had marred his short life. He knew that burning anger that came with it and he knew that feeling of second guessing every action leading up to that moment.

“Promise…” She started, voice still shaking with aftershocks of anger, “Promise you won’t look again? You can ask if you want but just…no free rein? Got some stuff I’d rather not relive.”

“Promise.”

[giggly-squiggily]

Djdbdbcjddjsk I meant to send this to you yesterday but I got busy at work 🫠 but I need this in my life. I have Headcannons that the reader tries to plan something perfect for Archie and Maxie, their dads, for Father’s Day. And they playfully get into an argument about who the reader loves more. (Jokingly, of course) and the 3 of them just break out into a tickle fight due to snarky comments, and it’s just a warm, fluffy heartwarming moment ❤️💙❤️💙

(Honestly idk how to feel because yesterday my dad actually told me he loved me for the first time in a LONG time and idk how to feel 🫠) -@magma-queen

Hey friend! I wasn't planning on writing this so soon admittedly but given the dates and your ask I decided to bump it up the list! Hardenshipping is such a comfort, and this dabble was so nice to make. I hope you like it!

“Mine’s gonna be so much better.”

“Pfft- really? I highly doubt that.”

You looked up from your thoughts, finding Archie and Maxie having a literal standoff. If you looked close enough, you could almost see a lightning bolt between their eyes. “What..?”

“Of course mine’s gonna be better. It’s because I love them more.” Archie grinned, arms crossed over his chest as he laughed proudly. “No one here makes better meals than me! Ain’t that right, kid?”

“Well..” You started to agree, but Maxie quickly butt in.

“You might be the better cook between us, but (Y/N) here always knows who to go to when they need help with their dex, Yes?” Maxie folded his arms behind him with pride, raising his chin. “Beat that, sea legs.”

“S-S-Sea legs!” Archie gasped, clutching his pearls. You put a hand to your mouth in mock shock- matching his energy. “Them fighting words, pretty boy! Are you ready to tussle? I’ll prove to you both how much I love (Y/N)!”

“I’m always ready to go, you cloyster.”

“No! Dad! Papa- stop!” You got up to get between them, though your tone lacked any real urgency. “I love both of you equally, and your presents will show that. I promise.”

Archie and Maxie seemed to consider this. “You heard the kid.” Archie nodded.

“Truce?” Maxie offered in return. You felt a pinch of relief.

“Yeah. Get them.” Oh shoot. The next thing you knew, you were trapped between the pair, laughing helplessly as they began tickling you.

“Dohoohohon’t! Gehahahahahah, stahhhap thahahhaat! Dahhahhad! Pahahahpahhaha!” You giggled, trying and failing to escape their imprisonment. Lucky for you- Archie was quick to share the love.

“Gah! Nohooho! Dohoohn’t tihiihckle mehehehe!” Maxie cried when a hand started squeezing his side. You twisted in their arms, attacking the redhead just as fierce. Soon it was two on one- the target switching between Maxie to you to Archie and back. No one was safe from the fight.

“Ehehhe..ehehehe..truuhuuhce, or I’m nohohot mahahaking prehehehesehents.” You declared. Archie took your raised hand in his own, shaking it once in agreement. Maxie was too tired to return the gesture, so he opted to pat your head.

“Yoohohu don’t need to worry. Yoohohu’ve already given us the best present of all.” He reassured you.

“Yeah. Just having you as our kid.” Archie agreed, giving your hand another squeeze. You felt your eyes water and your chest release at the words, finding their arms and squeezing them both tightly to you.

“I love you both so much. Happy Father’s Day.”

Send me a headcanon and I'll write a 300-500 word dabble for it!

[kingtrey3]

PF2 Homebrew Advice: Monster Statistics

TL; DR Monster creation is an art; do not think you can make art by slapping some stuff together.

Now, Pathfinder 2e has a "top-down" approach to monster creation, meaning that they start with the approximate number rather than building to that number like PCs do. If a monster has a +22 Fortitude, it's not because "they're level 12, are master in Fort for a +6 and have a +4 Constitution modifier." They have a +22 because they just do.

My biggest piece of advice with monster creation is to just not worry about trying to make it "look" like it's consistent with the "bottom-up" approach. So what if the creature's Acrobatics and Athletics modifiers are both +18 when its Strength is +4 and its Dex is +3. If you get hung up on that, then you're gonna be proofreading constantly to make sure that it fits with this bottom-up approach and drive yourself mad and become exhausted. I know we say that "every +1 matters" in this game, but a +1 is not worth burning yourself out.

It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to work!

For my second biggest piece of advice, ALWAYS give the monster a weak point. It doesn't have to be abysmal, it just needs to be noticeably worse. A creature that has no exploitable weak points simply becomes a game of attrition. That's part of why the barbazu was so notoriously deadly: it had no real exploitable weak points and it was STUPIDLY good at what it did. Give the monster a low Reflex, or Fortitude, or AC, or something. Don't make it good at everything!

So, lets get going.

To start, download this. I'm aware that these tables can be found in GM Core and the Gamemastery Guide, but I find it far more convenient to have an entire PDF that's dedicated exclusively to those monster creation tables, that way I don't have to memorize what page the tables are on in Gamemastery Guide, and I don't have to deal with the tables spilling over between pages in the GM Core.

Before we get into it, I just want to explain one thing:

Extreme Values

"At higher levels, give each creature more extreme statistics. Having one extreme statistic becomes typical around level 11. A creature at level 15 or higher typically has two extreme statistics, and one at level 20 or higher should have 3 or 4."

This is how it's recommended, and I agree with it wholeheartedly. Extreme values should be relatively sparse before level 11. And if they do come up, there should be a countermeasure to balance it out. Extreme values are very, VERY potent and should not be used haphazardly.

Now, let's start at the top:

Attribute Modifiers

Honestly? These are just there for completion purposes for if the creature is forced to make a roll it's not trained in. These numbers are just for flavor, as they dictate next to nothing in the grand scheme of things beyond the occasional "how smart/strong/etc. is this thing?" An Extreme value here is more for flavor than anything.

Perception

This is another statistic that doesn't really do a whole lot beyond beyond flavor and initiative. Perception is more of a thing for very unconventional tactics like Feinting and Hiding/Sneaking. Just pick a modifier that makes sense for the creature and be on with it. An Extreme Perception is a bit odd, but in my opinion should be saved for beings where a high perception is their gimmick, like something covered in eyes. Please ignore that the hyakume doesn't have extreme Perception; I still find this really silly.

Skills

Once again, these modifiers are mostly used for flavor, but they can also have a good chunk of combat capabilities. Generally, I give monster Athletics because that's a good general sense of how strong it is. A creature without Athletics should be something like a wizard or a fairy, where that doesn't make 100% sense. Similarly, Acrobatics should be put on a creature that is likely to have some kind of flight, since Maneuvering in Flight requires using Acrobatics. From there it's just a matter of flavor with what skills it has, though special mention should be given to Deception, Intimidation, and similar skills that can be used in combat to Feint or Demoralize. An Extreme value here can be very potent depending on the skill it's put in.

AC/Saving Throws/HP

Okay, now this is where a homebrewer can easily mess things up, because haphazard defense-creation can utterly devastate a party of PCs. All of these statistics are in a careful balancing act, and it should be treated with respect.

The most unoffensive creature you could ever make would have Moderate statistics in everything; everything about it is "meh." Now, if you want to raise something above Moderate, you have to take away from somewhere else. Sometimes this counterbalance to defense takes place in the offensive statistics, but that's not as common, in my opinion.

AC and HP are generally in some kind of balancing act. If you raise AC, you'll want to lower HP, and vice versa. However, High AC and Moderate HP (or vice versa) is generally okay; that tends to be where the Fighter lies, as it happens. Beyond that is when the counterbalancing needs to happen.

Saving throws are generally balanced against each other. My general rule of thumb is that a creature should have one High, one Moderate, and one Low save, as that creates a good range of "Do not target!" to "unideal to target" to "exploit it!" for casters or other non-conventional combatants. Now, if you want to use an Extreme value at, say, level 5, you would need to counterbalance it by lowering one of its other saves. The perfect example here is the forest troll. The troll has an Extreme Fortitude, but a Terrible Will; it effectively "stepped up" its Fort by "stepping down" its Will.

As another important note that I've even seen Paizo not follow at times: DO NOT GIVE MONSTERS ABILITIES THAT GENERALLY INCREASE THE DEGREE OF SUCCESS ON THEIR SAVE! Now, I'm not talking about an ability that increases its degree of success on saves vs. illusions or something. That's fine, as long as it makes sense. I'm referring to abilities that just say "if it succeeds on a Reflex save, it gets a critical success instead." We are not talking about mythic resilience right now. These abilities can shut down a lot of chip damage from basic saves, which makes the "feel" of the monster a lot more like an immovable object. If you're going to do that to, say, replicate a rogue, then just increase the value of its save by one category (usually High to Extreme). This is generally why Extreme values are more common at higher levels, because its to counteract with the PCs' "increase degree of success" abilities. This is also why monsters' HP is a lot higher than a PC's of that level: the lack of "increase degree of success" abilities makes the monster more susceptible to chip damage. THIS IS BY DESIGN! Increasing degree of success and a +3 to its save are two VERY different feels, and one feels more insurmountable than the other, and the last thing you want is for your players to feel like a combat is insurmountable.

HP/Fast Healing/Regeneration/Immunities/Resistance/Weakness

While HP is a counterbalance to AC, its primary counterbalances are fast healing/regeneration, resistances, and weaknesses. More weaknesses means that HP will generally go up, while higher fast healing/regen or resistances will mean HP should go down. There isn't a perfect way to figure out how to strike this balance, unfortunately. You just need to get a feel for it. Generally, a resistance to one narrow thing, like cold damage, shouldn't really affect HP a whole lot, but if its resistance to a good spread of damage types, then it should lower HP accordingly.

Now, I should make a particular note for Immunities, Resistances, and Weaknesses: never give something one of these three unless you can explain WHY! "It's resistant to fire because fire damage is very common" is NOT a good explanation. "It's resistant to cold because it regularly dwells in the cold depths of the ocean" IS a good explanation. Generally, a particular vulnerability to a specific material or something can be accepted because "the fey don't like cold iron because weird folklore stuff." It's not a perfect analogy, but I generally stand by that if I can't explain why an immunity, resistance, or weakness exists, then it shouldn't exist.

This is particularly noteworthy with fungi. For a while, I was really confused about why fungus creatures had a weakness to slashing, and I eventually discovered that when a mushroom is cut, it undergoes oxidation, which causes it to go bad. This is primarily why fungi have weakness to slashing.

Attack Bonus/Strike Damage

These are the two main offensive statistics, and they tend to go hand-in-hand. Now, High attack and High damage is the baseline for a fighter-type, while Moderate attack and High damage is usually where monks or champions lie. So the High attack bonus is generally reserved for creatures that are really good at attacking. Now, damage is actually where I see myself using the Extreme value most often, as Moderate attack and Extreme damage is very common for bruisers like the barbarian.

The agile trait goes a long way, so if I want to give a Strike agile, I generally counterbalance that by lowering its damage by one category. i.e. A dual-wielding fighter wielding a longsword and shortsword would have High attack and High damage with the longsword and High attack and Moderate damage with the shortsword.

Now, I use the recommended Strike damage dice/bonus kinda rarely. I more frequently look at the number in parentheses. Sometimes weapon choice dictates what kind of damage dice is dealt and makes things weird, so I usually go off of the number in parentheses to make it basically equivalent.

For the people who don't know statistics, for the purpose of calculating the number in parentheses, use the following values:

1d4=2.5

1d6=3.5

1d8=4.5

1d10=5.5

1d12=6.5

Those numbers are the average roll of those dice ([highest value + lowest value] / 2)

Now, if you don't hit the parenthetical numbers exactly, it's not the end of the world. If you were going for 36 damage and ended up at 37, that's basically the same thing. I generally say to try to stay within a margin of error of +/- 10% of the value you're gunning for. Which, yes, means that at lower levels the numbers are a lot tighter; that's kinda to be expected.

Spell DC and Spell Attack Rolls

Now, I also use this table for DCs of abilities like a dragon's breath attack or something. Now, this is a controversial take, but I NEVER use the spell attack roll modifiers in this table, because they are equal to the DC - 8, when they are usually equal to the DC - 10.

"But didn't you just say not to worry about the bottom-up stuff, and that it just has to work rather than be perfect?" Sure, but this table also fundamentally breaks the relationship between a DC and a modifier. A DC is definitionally the modifier + 10. The fact that it's a difference of 8 here is just...fundamentally against what the rules say.

"Then why do you say the modifier is wrong instead of the DC." Reverse engineering. The High DC at level 1 is 17, which is consistent with a spellcaster with a +4 in their casting attribute. Thus it's the +9 that's wrong, not the DC 17.

Anyway, not much to say here. But, if you want to use a DC for, say, an aura that requires being saved against every turn, use the Moderate DC, since the more dice that roll means the greater chance of failure.

And also, DEAR GOD USE EXTREME DC SPARINGLY! ESPECIALLY IF IT'S AN EXTREME SPELL DC!!! Extreme spell DCs mean that it is so so SO much more likely for a fail or crit fail to occur, and if you DO use Extreme spell DCs, the creature's other statistics should be lowered by a significant amount to counterbalance this. Seriously, use Extreme Spell DC with GREAT caution. Frankly, if I want a "higher than High spell DC," I tend to go with the Extreme value - 2, since that's just more manageable from the players' side.

Area Damage

Very similarly to the Strike Damage, you generally want to use the number in parentheses within a margin of error of +/- 10%. Now, the biggest thing here is that you want to make sure you lower the damage if it the ability imposes a condition, because I have seen a good number of creatures made by Paizo that DON'T do this. Funnily, drained actually makes the calculations a bit easier since it has a direct HP effect. Generally, if an area effect imposes drained, I count it as the drained value times the monster's level as damage toward the number in parentheses. It's not an exact value, but it's a good rule of thumb.

Now, a good example of a deceptively-balanced usage of this table is the brochmaw's Serve ability. On first glance, a two-action ability that deals 12d6 AND heals the monster for half that damage on a level 13 feels really really broken and badly designed. But, you have to take it in context. For one, the brochmaw is built around using Marinade to impose a penalty to Roast, then using Roast to impose a penalty to Serve. So it's very unlikely that the brochmaw will come out with the Serve if it's fighting intelligently. Likewise, Serve only targets one creature, and the brochmaw must have that creature already grabbed. And upon using Serve, the grab is ended. So unlike a dragon's breath attack, which has only one point of failure, Serve has three points of failure: the skewer Strike that has Improved Grab on it, the Athletics roll for Improved Grab, and finally the Fort save against Serve. All of this combined means that Serve deserves to have its potent damage alongside its healing capability.

[galexis-void]

"Down in the Dunkities" (RatMeat)

A/N: Second fic! I'm having trouble trying to write a prequel to Something Sweeter, so in the meantime, have this. Again, the characters may be out of character.

Also, quick note - please don't criticize me if my stories make no sense. My intention is to entertain, not to be logical.

Summary: Dexter's feeling down on life, and of course Bob won't have any of that.

Trigger warnings: Angst (maybe?)

Credit goes to @eunchancorner and their anonymous askers for the idea!

(fic below the cut)

     Dexter had been staring at their hands for the last ten minutes, almost entranced by their own inner monologue. The aftereffect of their needs wasn’t nearly as intense as the actual anticipation itself, but it may have been worse - because now that they were in a relatively stable state of mind, they had all the time in the world to reflect on the horrible things they had done. God, they hated this feeling…

     A low voice behind them snapped them out of their own thoughts. “Dex?”

     Even if the person’s drawl wasn’t a dead giveaway, the pet name definitely was. With a heavy sigh, Dexter glanced over their shoulder to see Bob hovering over them. The large man was leaning on the couch, glancing down at his partner with clear concern. There was almost nothing that unsettled Dexter more than seeing Bob Velseb without a smile.

     “Hey,” Dexter muttered, glancing away. The last thing they needed was to make Bob worry about them.

     “Are ya havin’ those moods again?”

     For a moment, Dexter considered lying. But that would be stupid - they were a terrible liar, and even if they were good at it, Bob seemed to have some kind of built-in lie detector. And even if they didn’t outright say what was wrong, Bob would fuss over them all day until they finally cracked from his kindness.

     “Sort of,” they mumbled in defeat. There really was no point. They were damned if they did, damned if they didn’t. All they could really do was hope Bob wouldn’t be too up in arms about it, and not ask a lot of questions.

     But of course, that was wishful thinking. “You look like ya haven’t slept. Is it that bad?”

     Dexter sighed. They’d tried to explain the nature of their needs to Bob before, but the big guy never seemed to truly understand. But even so, he made up for it with his actions. Dexter used to say Bob had a big appetite and a bigger heart, and it really showed.

     Next thing Dexter knew, Bob was seated next to them, with an arm around their waist. Bob wasn’t even that much bigger than Dexter, but he was definitely stronger by a long shot. Dexter soon found themself with their head on the larger man’s shoulder, and felt so tempted to fall asleep right there.

     “There, there. You know I’m here for ya.”

     While Dexter did feel better than they had before, they still felt awful. And clearly Bob could tell, too, because now he was pulling his flustered partner even closer. He shifted position, resting his chin on top of Dexter’s head. “Dex… you know this ain’t gonna fly. You know I’m gonna hafta’ do somethin’ about this.”

     “Like what?” they mumbled bitterly.

     “C’mon… don’tcha remember what happens to grumpy lil’ beans like you?”

     Dexter tried to think. What did Bob do if they were down in the dunkities? Usually he’d spoil them, make their favorite food and whatnot. But for particularly bad days, Bob had this very… different way of handling things…

     Wait.

     Oh no.

     He couldn’t possibly be thinking…?!

     Dexter took a second to look upward, and catching a glimpse of Bob’s smirk confirmed their suspicions. “H-hey, listen… you don’t have to do this…”

     “Oh, but I kinda do.”

     “Y-you’re actually gonna-?!”

     “Ya know the drill. Grumpy folks get the claws.”

     Oh god. Not the claws. Anything but the claws!

     Dexter didn’t even have a chance to retort before their larger partner viciously dug his claws into their ribs, eliciting a high pitched shriek. Then the shriek dissolved into giggles, often interrupted by loud snorting. One by one the claws unclenched, and each found their way to one particular spot on Dexter’s ribs.

     “I know I’m doin’ this to cheer ya up,” Bob noted, “but I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t love that laugh of yours.”

     Dexter buried their face into Bob’s sweater, not wanting him to see them blush from the flattery. But they knew it was probably too late - nothing escaped Bob Velseb, whether they were prey or details.

     The claws were going to town, skittering and scribbling all over the flustered exterminator’s ribcage. It had only been a few minutes and they were already going insane. “NOOOO *snort* HAHAHAAH! NOHOT *snort* THE CLAWHAWHAWHAWS!!”

     “Yes, the claws. Don’t tell me ya can’t handle the claws?~” He raised his other hand from Dexter’s back and playfully wiggled the digits over their head. “Well, the left claws are a bit lonely, so they got a new best friend - the right claws! And they’re just dyin’ to meetcha…”

     Dexter dared to look up, and immediately hid again once they realized their mistake. One set of claws was bad enough, and only serious situations called for both pairs.

     “…so make sure ya give them a warm welcome, hey?”

     And both pairs of claws made contact with Dexter’s sides, wiggling and scribbling wherever they could reach - which was almost all of the poor exterminator’s torso, given how long the claws were. All Dexter could do was laugh and squeal their heart out, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

     Eventually Dexter slapped their hand against Bob’s sleeve, which was their designated sign for when it was time to stop. Bob immediately released them, relocating his hands to their back and allowing them to rest. Poor Dexter was practically breathless by this point, and very tired, but also quite euphoric. They’d never admit it aloud, but this was exactly what they’d needed.

     “Ya feel better now?” they heard Bob say to them, very quietly and gently. They couldn’t respond verbally, but instead nodded, and Bob gently squeezed their back in return. “I could’ve wrecked ya for so much longer. Maybe some other time, when you’re feelin’ up to it.”

     Dexter thought that sounded wonderful. They laid their head on Bob’s chest before starting to drift off, cradled by him and finally able to relax.

     “Thank you…”

-END-