#next set i'll do less
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has a 66 index score for customer satisfaction in the US.
Text
"Five years ago, were you the leader when the Troupe slaughtered the Kurta of the Scarlet Eyes?"
1.Lifecycle of the Mole-Woman, Kim Fu. 2. @ceonnibal, twitter. 3. A Letter to Maria Casares, Albert Camus. 4 & 5. @WAGO_00, twitter. 6. [you fit into me], Margaret Atwood. 7 & 13. @qingqiye, twitter. 8. Jawab al-Kalfi, Ibn al-Qayyim. 9. @kishibe. 10. The Erl-King, Angela Carter. 11. @se_5eeeee, twitter. 12. For Girls Who Aren't Interesting in Being Easy on the Eyes, Fabiola 14. Bad and Beautiful, Beau Taplin. 15. @ChibuNyam, twitter. 16. Heart to Heart, Mer_Curia (me!!)
#in honor of september 4th ofc#kurokura#chrollopika#hunter x hunter#mine#also like shameless fic plug at the end there but who gives af#i've got two more motifs in mind for them but i'll do a mellonear one next#also might be setting off a bomb by putting this in the main tag but take it up with togashi!! it's not my fault i see his vision#no pun intended#but realistically this will get like 3 notes making my fic insertion far less cringe 🙏🏽#kurapika#chrollo lucilfer
301 notes
·
View notes
Text
blessings roll call! add on in the tags if you so wish <3
#new (to me) car! huge answer to prayer!#was lowkey so stressed about car issues I was actively losing sleep over it.#having a reliable comfy and relatively cheap car now is such a blessing#dad very generously emptied his CDs out of the cool 30-yr-old compact holder I've been coveting for years and gave it to me#so now I get to party like it's 2007 driving around with my CDs expertly contained and catalogued#got accepted into the OTA program I was applying for all through the summer!#so gotta set up classes for that#more good school news is I've already done all the the co-reqs for next semester's OTA classes#meaning I only have 2 classes + choir which I'll do for fun and thus can work more hours and also have time for an actual life#looking forward to a more restful semester#time with family and friends has been so precious lately#even though it's been scarce it's been lovely and joyful when it happens#looking forward to the holidays actually for the first time in years!#usually they're dreaded because of family drama but I think I can manage to find joy anyway#and also choose to spend less time or no time in or around the drama#looking forward to break. three more weeks of classes and then freedom for five glorious weeks.#looking forward to Advent especially!#also made soup today and it's so good#thankful for a good job and for getting along with my coworkers#and immensely thankful for books especially audiobooks without which I would not have survived this year#and for the Gospel of John. it's holding me together rn. struggling through some faith questions and some anger towards God#the last few months#but as long as I can stay in scripture...it still seems worth it.#blessings
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
mortifying to be perceived in this way but here have some fic
#fangs of fortune#li lun/zyc#there's also a dash of yuanyi in there but lunchen is the agenda here#first fic is set up#second fic is light pwp#it's been so long since i posted fic in a new fandom. i agonized over these incredibly short pieces for an embarrassing amount of time#also the first time i'm posting remotely rated stuff on my ao3 i am covering my face hhhhhh#my fic#fanfic#zhuo yichen#li lun#zhao yuanzhou#watching the stats on these two fics is like watching two of my children compete#or something#not that i know what it's like to have kids but anyway dark blue is working so hard to keep up#sorry lunchen perhaps i did not go hard enough on that pwp#i'll do better next time#routine insight my child prodigy passing everything with flying colors#dark blue my uglier less funny son#i'm kidding also i'm sleep deprived and i don't think anyone reads these tags but if you do#sorry
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag drop: Dorian Pavus
#dorian pavus. [ he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain. ]#dorian pavus: ic. [ you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet. ]#dorian pavus: inquiries. [ stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause? ]#dorian pavus: countenance. [ i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult. ]#dorian pavus: introspection. [ selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside. ]#dorian pavus: meta. [ you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less? ]#dorian pavus: little notes. [ living a lie. it festers inside you like poison. you have to fight for what’s in your heart. ]#dorian pavus: etc. [ you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks. ]#dorian pavus: magic. [ don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places? ]#dorian pavus: inquisition. [ we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition. ]#dorian pavus: tevinter. [ despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love. ]#dorian pavus: felix. [ even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better. ]#dorian pavus: gereon. [ we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying. ]#dorian pavus: halward. [ i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy. ]#dorian pavus: aquinea. [ her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet. ]#dorian pavus: inquisitor. [ you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them. ]#dorian pavus: solas. [ you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit. ]#dorian pavus: varric. [ what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way. ]#dorian pavus: cullen. [ gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you. ]#dorian pavus: cassandra. [ blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic. ]#dorian pavus: cole. [ you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats. ]#dorian pavus: vivienne. [ i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends. ]#dorian pavus: blackwall. [ point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one. ]#dorian pavus: sera. [ you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony. ]#dorian pavus: bull. [ no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back? ]#dorian pavus: corypheus. [ one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood? ]
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
i still have. to send an email. but the problem is that well. you see. i suddenly popped a really bad fever and my brain is mush and my head hurts and i'm so tired.
#hhhhhhhhh.#i think i'll set my alarm early and do it tomorrow#and so fucking help me god if i wake up getting asked to come in early again#the next email will be less nice
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
state of the Hazel: not doing too great. general summertime sadness combined with a recently passed cat of mine is not great for the mind. i'm gonna miss that big dope.
i'm getting a good sense for how i'm also feeling gameways, though it ain't much good news. getting back into Persona is feeling rough because i feel like i "have to" play it more than i "want to" play it, generally never great. i still really want to have played it and post the clips here, but given the whole moderation issues of this site, it feels like there's added pressure to do it before it's too late, whether or not "too late" is something i actually need to worry about.
as for more immediate issues, sticking to just Splatoon for so long is getting me into burnout phases. i can understand why, in the past few years, i've usually finished at least one or two pokemon monotype runs by August, maybe visit another game for a good while, but i've done neither this year.
i think playing a new game is probably the best way to get out of this funk right now, though. precisely, i think something i never posted here could work best, to help enjoy the posting process a little bit more too.
i did a whole shopping list in the tags sitting on this, but that'll do for this one. give myself a little time with something new, should be be fine.
#hazel talks#there's a sale goin' on the nintendo eShop... ah. not pikmin. i was hoping.#less on the grindy side. middling length- maybe 8 hours or so. Cuphead sounds about right actually...#Crash bandicoot games are on a pretty good sale too.#oh hey AI: the Somnium Files is like 8 bucks. not what i'm itchin' for but i'll pick it up now for sure.#sequel... eh 24. probably won't get much better for the next three years.#it's a 10GB and 12GB download but the 512 GB SD card says ''cute''#lmao yeah i'm typing this out so that i remember them all. this was set to go by 4:50 and then i went window shopping.#oh i forgot all about We Love Katamari reroll. new Mario + Rabbids. heard of Dead or School and Indivisible before. de blob.#ooooh been years since i thought about keeping an eye open for guacamelee.#destroy all humans made it to the switch? huh. i'd've seriously considered it if 2 was available. i actually remember playing that one.#i kinda want a fighting game... just got the urge seein P4 arena and skullgirls. goin' pretty cheap- though i prolly won't do online play#ok that's enough browsing. i'm leaning cuphead and katamari. ah and guacamelee's like five bucks i'll get that too.#and just so i have an option on fighting games... P4A as well.#at minimum the first two are gonna be priority for a little while.#love a good sale.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: I got a 25 on the ACT!
Mom: it won't get you into BYU, especially with your math grade the way it is.
Me: I have a 3.7 GPA, and I can always retake the ACT?
Mom: you're going to need a really good admissions essay if you want to get into BYU.
Me: thanks, mom.
#25 without even studying#so anyways now i don't want to tell her about my AP test score#it's a 3 which means that I passed#but at the same time#I'm always told to do better#and there's no validation there#just do better so you can get into your dream school#like mother. i'm trying!#but do you know what straight a's get me? panic attacks every time i get anything less than an A#do you want to repeat 9th grade where i was told that every second counted towards college and you'd have to hold me#as i cried at 10 pm at night because I thought I wasn't good enough#and it's taken me literal years to finally reach the conclusion that my grades aren't everything and even then i still panic#whenever i get anything less than a C#the math grade was an outlier from a set of horrible circumstances#i finished 11th with 5 A's two B's and a D and you come after me for the D#it's always 'do better; your grades suck' when I have one bad grade#i'm taking 3 AP classes next year because I want to college credit#I was on the honor roll the entirety of junior high#I'm working towards a chord at graduation#maybe one day i'll be praised for everything i've sacrificed just to be good enough#i know that I need better grades and scores for BYU#and I've literally been working my ass off to get into BYU my entire life
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey i’m a mutual who dropped out in 7th grade and i just want u to know that things will be ok. i’m going back to school this year and like you can just stop either temporarily or permanently. i promise u it will be ok
:((( thank u so much this means a lot to hear . my plan has been to drop out for like two years at this point but i never really expected it to feel this much like a huge change even though it was always going to be. and my mother asked me if i just wanted to drop out when i told her i didn't want to go in today and it's sent me on a downward spiral. sorry for putting this on your dash board whoever is online and whoever saw it.
#ugh whatever sorry these tags r going to be so whiny don't look at them if u dont want to see that.#UGHHHEH its just so much. because at least having the option to have somewhere to go every day even if i never take it has been like.#almost some sort of comfort to me. because i don't want to sit around every day if it's not my choice to be doing so.#but i've never had a job. i don't know how to write a resume i don't know how to answer interview questions i don't know anywhere that#would take me that i can get to on my own since i can't drive. but if i don't get a job. i'll be sitting around broke and miserable until#applications for the course i want open up. and i don't know how to do that. the more i think abt it today the more dropping out feels#like the best option but it doesn't make it feel less like the huge step i know it'll be. i don't have a life without school. it's the only#place i ever see my few irls. it's my one source of human interaction every week. what do i do if it's not there for the next#half a year. assuming i passed the test i needed to pass and also get into the course i want. i don't know.#and everythings in my favour!! everything is going for me!! i have it easier than so many kids at my school!#my mother is a teacher and she gets me so many of the things i need because she knows the system. literally two weeks ago she got it set up#so that i don't have to go to one of my classes because it was making me miserable and i was complaining abt it constantly.#and i just feel bad that all of her effort will have gone to waste? i know she's done everything she can but it still hasn't fixed my#hatred for the school system and i feel so bad. I DONT KNWO WAHT TO DO!!! IM GOING TO KILL MY SELF!!!#whatever what ever. i;m overreacting it's what ever
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stuff in tags, only wanna semi-scream into the void
...
#nils talking#feeling very tired after this week#the start was so full of uncertainty and while a bit of relief has set in#I'm just drained#tomorrow I'll be visiting a friend for a semi-regular thing and I'm not really in the mood#but I also don't wanna cancel so I hope I'll just feel better tomorrow than I did the last few days#bc I do feel kinda lonely rn and like I'm treading water#I need change and closure and I won't get it before the year is over#too many variables too much that still needs to happen first#but there could be smaller changes that are less drastic#connections that don't need to be for a long time but rather beautiful moments#or a deepening of connections I already have but which are very marginal#at the moment I see both potential within me but also my current limits and limitations#anyway I just hope that the next few months will bring happiness and progress for me#I don't wish to fade away into the background#I want to try my best at making an impact and being remembered fondly#to not just be the awkward fat person that stood in the corner of the party#or who was just a random fellow student or coworker#I hate feeling powerless but it's so difficult to change things when you lack the energy#sorry about this if you read this you're entitled to compensation#also for the record I don't recommend looking up what former classmates are doing a decade after graduating school#it's a mostly depressing affair
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
// slinks online with a steaming cup of blueberry coffee
I blink and my days off are over. Ugh. I mean, I only get two a week, but they sure as hell feel no longer than a 30 minute lunch break.
Anyways, I'm here. Gonna be doing drafts while making progress in FF16.
#[ bright side: in less than a month... i'll be on vacation.#just gotta last these next few weeks. and work is set to be quiet for the month of july.#meaning people will be getting extra days off. i PRAY they extend that gift to me.#and not the folks who come to work and don't actually DO work. :) reward those who earn the pay please.#that aside--- hope y'all are well! ]#ooc ; out of character
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
went to toronto again for new years weekend and spent pretty much the entire time hanging out with paul bellini which included us rewatching a bunch of episodes from kith s4 during dinner on new years eve. and y'know the second best thing about watching kids in the hall with paul bellini is getting to hear a bunch of behind-the-scenes backstory about the inspiration for sketches, previous versions that never saw the light of day, , etc. but the actual best thing about watching kids in the hall with paul bellini is when an entire sketch will play without comment and at the very end he goes "the fuck was that?"
#i already sent a similar thing to the kith discord like right after this happened but i can't stop thinking about it that was so funny#the specific sketch he was reacting to was mark's monologue about having no sex appeal#(paul had completely forgotten that one bc he didn't write it and he wasn't even there the day it was filmed)#we were specifically watching s4 bc he's seen seasons 1-3 fairly recently but s4 he's less familiar with#partially bc he and scott spent so much of the year working on chalet 2000#but yeah i'll do a full end of the year post as soon as i get the rest of the pics from hanging out at bellini's apartment on new years eve#but yeah this weekend was so fucking good. like we've really come full circle#from the days when i'd joke on here that ''paul bellini is my bestie'' bc he replied to my comment once#bc now i genuinely consider him one of my closest friends and it seems like he sees me that way too#like just the fact that we were hanging out all day both days i was in town even if it was just like running errands together#and any time someone called him he'd make sure to mention ''jessamine's here!'' and he sounded so happy about that#and we watched the video of my standup final together which i used to cringe at just bc i low key bombed in front of the second audience#like i think the performance itself was great the audience just wasn't giving me any reaction#but even tho paul had clearly watched that video multiple times he was still laughing at a lot of it#and making sure to note whenever he genuinely thought i had a great joke which was often#so now i have a completely different association with that set bc i got to see bellini enjoy it#i don't have a specific favorite kith member (i know it seems like it's obviously scott but i love them all for different reasons)#and it's also complicated by knowing some of them irl bc my relationship to each of them is so different and great in their own ways#but yeah there's something so special about my friendship with bellini#i'm so excited to move to toronto full time next year bc i already know i'm probably coming over to paul's for dinner at least once a week
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had Spider-Man 2 mailed to my house when I pre-ordered it and it hasn't arrived yet so I've just been spending my entire day dodging spoilery Youtube thumbnails like Tobey Maguire dodging Green Goblin's razor bats in slo-mo in that one scene.
#honestly i need to stop having games mailed to my house when i pre-order them cause it just makes it stressful to wait for them#like it just makes me nervous that they're just not gonna show up#even though that hasn't happened yet like i did the same thing with jedi survivor and mortal kombat 1 and they both arrived on the day#so like this one shouldn't be any different. ideally.#yet i get nervous about it anyway#i think part of it is these last few weeks in general have been incredibly stressful#two of the jobs i applied for got back to me at around the same time#and i gotta pick which one i wanna go forward with but i don't wanna burn bridges with either of them#so i'm basically just stringing them both along until i can pick one#and i'm still doing the online graphic design course but all the job shit is making it hard to stay caught up with that#AND i got a transaction notification for something i didn't purchase so i had to deactivate my credit card and get a new one#idk who got my credit card information or how or if i can get that money back but hopefully it doesn't happen again#basically i just need this damn game to get here on time so i'll have one less thing stressing me out#also another reason i need to stop having these games mailed to me is they always arrive in the afternoon#abd modern games take fucking forever to download onto the console#so even when you get them on the release day you gotta wait a billion hours to start playing#so when they arrive in the afternoon it basically means they won't finish downloading until well past midnight#so basically you judt gotta let it download overnight while you sleep and start it the next day#so yeah after this i should probably just go back to picking uo pre-orders at the store#especially when i get an apartment i wouldn't want the mail person just setting a $70 game on the floor outside my apartment while i'm gone#shut up tristan
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Is your comic on hiatus right now?
My laptop is in repair so I can't export the next pages or work on the next chapter until I have it back :/
#not a hiatus just a delay by a week or two (hopefully)#also I was counting on y'all not noticing oh noo ahaha#computer man hasn't been able to give me a date for when I can have it back yet I need to call him again today u.u#also just as a note: I don't want to set a precedent for ppl asking abt the comic if it's a bit delayed#I have other stuff going on with youtube and work and life stuff#I try and only do hiatuses to work ahead after finishing chapters (like I have planned to after this next update) but even so#I can't guarantee it'll always be on time and paid work will take precedent (which I fortunately will have more of in the near future)#notably while I'm still in a phase where I'll have less control over how much and when the work I can get is
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
lately my only goal w my writing sessions is just to do whatever i need to feel good and set myself up for success w the next writing session and it feels kind of like basic advice but i seriously never gave specific focus to that and it's kinda life changing lol
#like i'll have specific goals like finish this story draft or write this many words finish this scene/chapter etc#but if i dont feel like i can make that happen i try not to see it as a failure and just reroute it into#okay what do i need to do to make sure i get closer to that tomorrow#or will make it easiest for me to get back into it tomorrow/what will set me up for success tomorrow#actually v clearly focusing on THAT instead of focusing on what i DIDNT do right now makes the whole#thing feel easier overall AND makes me feel like i can actually continue to get closer to Finishing The Thing#and i make it very tangible like how much do i need to write that also accommodates my abilities today. or do i just need to write a quick#outline or just the first line etc#i dont think im gonna finish this micro first draft tonight so i thought what can i do that will help ensure i (hopefully) can tomorrow#and it was just write all the lines that are in my brain out on the page. like no matter what i can do that n i probably can do more#like i have specific goals and self imposed deadlines so im trying to get things done by certain times but giving myself grace with it so i#dont burn myself out in the process#also trying to plan in advance so i never Have to do something By The Next Day that i dont think i can do#this is what helped me finish my dissertation LOL#i realised it was far more beneficial to not force myself over my limits for that day but set myself up for success the next day#i would be like “i need to do this but i know it will be easier to do it with a refreshed mind tomorrow”#and i kept thinking “getting a good nights sleep will help me more tomorrow than forcing myself to write/edit more”#“so i have less to do tomorrow”. like okay maybe id have less to do but id also have less brain power bc i overexerted myself!#which then turned into okay what else can i do to ensure success tomorrow etc#like im tired tonight! my brain isnt working! but i know i can do things that will make me more motivated to write tomorrow#and that in itself is a success. no failure in writing as long as you are taking care of and helping yourself#instead of isolating every writing session into a single Okay How Much Can I Do Today#but acknowledging how a string of writing sessions work together. some have more production some dont#and working with that
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Show don't tell only works when you balance it with tell don't show. Telling me a character is in love doesn't do much, if they never show their love. And likewise, I ain't a mindreader, no amount of Acts of Service, or Physical Affection is gonna make me think a character loves someone beyond the platonic, unless it is also stated. One of my favourite book series shows rather than tells. With everything. To the point that if I hadn't read spoilers for it, the fact that one of the characters asked an other to marry them in the epilouge would have come completely out of the left field. If I remember correctly, even with that foreknowledge, no amount of shipper goggles had me shipping them up until that point. I can't read between the lines if there is no lines in the first place.
#writing#why show don't tell is a lie#because you need to show AND tell#show dont tell and tell don't show go hand in hand#while some writers are able to do more or less without one#you need atleast some amount of the other to allow your readers to understand what the heckle is going on#Admittedly you generally need more show than tell to get me to believe it#like Bella Swan was supposedly smart#and we do see it to some degree#but the fact that she figured Edward was a fucking vampire stinks more of plot needing to move than her being actually clever#since theres like over two books before we see her being smart again#the next spot of intelligence being when she figures how to shield others with her deus ex machina brain powers#You know#to lowkey kick a dead horse#look#i liked the twilight books#they're the book equvalent of junk food#and just like I'll complain about how gross fast food fries become five minutes after they're served#I will continue to complain about Twilight and point out the ways it could have been better#because there IS potential there#If the author had given herself more than the bare bones of time to write plot and publish it#I love urban fantasy and twilight is that#its not a great example in many ways#but it shows how easy it could be to incorporate fantasy in a more modern setting#Admittedly every character in the series is infinitely more interesting than Edward#hell even bella becomes more interesting when you remove him and just have her interact with other characters#like I'd love to read about how much of a pain it must be to be Jasper in a fucking highscool#all these teens(children to him lol)in the crusp of hormone and emotional hell#it wouldn't surprise me if the reason he looks constipated has less to do with blood and more to do with how everyone fucking feels#and like I donno about u but teens are some of the most savage creations of humanity
88K notes
·
View notes